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roxywashere · 6 years ago

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What’s Up, Danger

Rey acclimates to her powers

Rey Walker, better known as the superhero Neon, had very suddenly become a celebrity after being inducted into Astra’s League, the world's most prestigious superhero organization. She sat in the League's headquarters, FursTech Tower in Danesville, Wisconsin, at 3 in the morning January 1st 2101, watching as 24-hour news stations scrambled to uncover everything they could about this random punk-rocker who had just been thrust onto the world's stage. Her best friends and long-time crime-fighting partners Hilda Furst, Elle Ectric, and Shailene Octavia stood around watching the same holographic screens where they were also being analysed for the same reasons.

“This is so weird,” Rey commented as she watched the TMZ office argue about the team’s power levels while all still wearing party hats from their New Years party just hours before.

“You’ll get used to it,” Aradia Furst told her.

“I’m literally being interviewed by like 17 people every single minute and I hate it,” Hilda said. She was apparently Aradia’s second cousin three times removed (Hilda’s great-great-great-great-grandparents were Aradia’s great-grandparents), which Hilda had only learned when she saw it on MSNBC’s coverage of her. “I’ve never killed myself in public before but I’m this fucking close to doing it just to have one less body for everybody to interrogate.” She’d never been this stressed out by her power before, at least that she’d let her best friends know.

“This is exactly why I don’t like going out in public,” Elle said.

“Well, I guess you’re going to be travelling exclusively by lightning bolt forever now because your ass is famous worldwide.”

“I wish my ass was famous,” Shailene mumbled.

“Don’t go getting any ideas, now,” Aradia chastised. “We’re public figures, we have to keep a clean facade.”

“I mean, do we have to? Or is that just how things have been done? What if it’s tasteful? With, like, a real photographer?”

“If you want to draw Astra’s ire, go ahead. But I’ll be looking down my nose at you the whole time.”

“All I heard was ‘go ahead’.”

“Do you pay us?” Hilda asked. “Or would we have to do brand deals and shit.”

“You each get a monthly stipend which will support a quite comfortable housing arrangement,” Aradia answered. “Anything else you wish to earn on top of that is up to you. I would suggest that you wait to get comfortable with your new income before you start trying to supplement it.”

“Is that on top of, or replacing, your basic income program?”

Aradia was at a loss for words. “No League members have ever been on the program before. I never even considered that it was a possibility.”

Rey’s phone dinged with a new message. She was actually kind of surprised that it wasn’t just constantly going off since the press conference. The text, and the ones that immediately followed it, read:

Hey, this is Felicia The waitress From the diner You gave me your number Are you busy right now? You’re probably busy You can ignore me if you’re busy

With a brief burst of her superspeed Rey texted back:

I'm not busy don’t worry Just watching the news hyd?

What is this, the 20s? ‘hyd’?

I’m old fashioned

I get enough old fashioned at this fucking diner

Is your shift over?

Almost. Another hour

You work third shift often?

Only tonight I drew the short straw to work the new year shift

You busy after?

I was planning on sleeping

That’s probably a good idea

I could wait until after getting an early breakfast tho

Wanna come to Danesville? I know a couple places

Danesville is a 10 hour drive from here

I can carry you Btw, whats the actual address of the diner I kinda just stumbled upon you last time

1 Mile Run Rd Allenwood PA We’re right next to Little Mountain State Park off I-80

Suddenly Hilda jumped out of her seat, yelling “FUCK!”

“What is it?” Aradia asked.

“The Harlequin just showed up at one of my bank security guard jobs. Midwest Federal.”

A plasma trail traced from the chair Rey had been sitting in to the workshop’s balcony, where Rey already was, leaning over it to look out over the city. “Alright Aradia, time to hold up your end of the bargain.”

“I suppose it is.” Aradia got to work casting a portal, but instead of waiting Rey jumped over the railing and ran down the side of the building. Running down a building was always much harder than running up one, but it was so much more exhilarating. On her way down, she sent one last text to Felicia:

Gotta go. Duty calls. See you in an hour hopefully If I never text back then that means I’m dead 👉😎👉

She made it to the bottom with no problems, and flowed through the city until she stopped in front of the bank. Five of Hilda in bank security guard uniforms were standing with their handguns pointed at the door. All the lights inside were dark, and the front door looked like it had been smashed in. A second later the portal Aradia had been casting finally opened, behind Hilda and Rey.

“Wait,” Shay said, double-taking at the balcony of the workshop behind her. “How did you...”

“I’ve been here for like five minutes, guys,” Rey taunted.

An ATM came flying out of the bank’s front doors, followed by a shrill roar. Rey stepped out of the way, pulling one of Hilda who was also in the way along with her.

“What the fuck was that? I thought you said the Harlequin was in there?”

“I swear to god I saw her mask for an instant before she killed me,” Hilda said.

“Is she working with somebody new?”

“Let’s not wait to see...” Aradia said. “HARLEQUIN!” I know you’re in there. You’ve slipped under my radar for far too long.”

Another roar rang out. And then a slow stomping, slowly growing closer. And eventually some creature stepped out of the shadows, with red-and-white checkered scales, wearing the Harlequin’s mask: a plain featureless oval, half red and half white. Except the mask had been split across its width, a third of the way up, by a thick crack which was now its mouth.

“What the fuck is that thing?” Elle asked.

It spoke, in a low, rasping tone. “Hello, Aradia. Recognise me?”

“Why should I, fiend?” Aradia demanded.

“Twofold, witch. Your father was a thorn in my side for decades, one. And you and I spoke face to face only 7 days and a few hours ago, two.”

The Harlequin had been a consistent foe of her father in his early days before joining Astra’s League, this Aradia was familiar with. But, seven days and a few hours ago, Aradia had been at Johanna Kerr’s christmas ball, before it had been blown up by what evidence suggested was the Harlequin, or at least her goons. Aradia would have remembered encountering this beast there.

“What happened to you, Harlequin. This is something new, even for you.”

“I’ll spare you the details of my weakness, if you please. I’ll only have you know that it was and remains to be very painful.”

Something clicked in Aradia’s mind. Could it have something to do with the massive explosion the Harlequin had triggered after Aradia had left the christmas ball? If she had been at the ball to trigger the bomb, she likely would also have been caught in it. That would be more than enough energy to disrupt the impenetrability of her superhuman skin and possibly cause this strange alteration. It was a chemistry gauntlet to work through some other time, however, and especially not as a mere thought experiment.

“Then allow me to relieve your pain,” Aradia announced, straightening her back, and drawing herself up into the standard casting stance, one hand held in front of the other, fingers ready to trace magic circles into the air. “Girls, do what you do.”

The very first thing the Harlequin did was wrench a piece of the door frame out of the wall, and attempt to use it as a javelin to spear Aradia. As before, Rey leapt in to pull Aradia out of the way of the projectile, which embedded into a concrete wall across the street.

“Don’t worry about me getting hit,” Aradia told Rey. “I’m more robust than I look. Focus on taking this thing out.” She then quickly summoned a simple but strong magical barrier, and used it to give herself cover while maneuvered herself next to Hilda.

Meanwhile, Elle and Shay put their powers to work together, performing one of their favorite tag-team moves. Shay reached out and liberated the bronze fixtures from the destroyed door, which she psychically compacted into two rods and Elle then pumped a voltage differential into. Shay launched them at the Harlequin, which hit and elicited a scream as the voltages equalized through her.

Once Aradia had sidled up to Hilda, she asked of her “I’m going to need you to duplicate something for me, quickly.”

“What is it?”

Aradia knelt down and anchored her barrier to the street. She then plucked a dimly glowing white jewel off one of her necklaces and handed it to Hilda. “Its magic and that's all you'll understand even if I explained it. Took me a few years to understand myself.”

Hilda took the jewel and quickly duplicated herself to five, before passing the now 5 jewels to the middle-most her and re-condensing herself back to one. She repeated the duplication once more, before handing them to Aradia. Piled together in a hoard of 25, their combined glow was now about as bright as an average light bulb.

“That’ll do quite nicely,” Aradia said. She dumped all but one into her sleeve, cradling the last one in her palm. She pumped her light through her skin into the jem.

Aradia stood up, clenching her other fist and dissipating the shield she had summoned. She tossed the jewel towards the Harlequin, and yelled “Rey! Blast this with me!”

While Aradia cast a spell to focus her light, Rey zipped in and examined the jem. In the compressed time that her power afforded her, she grabbed it out of the air, and made a deliberate pondering pose for a long enough fraction of a second that she would be visible doing it. She then walked up to the Harlequin, and held it out in front of the Harlequin’s mask. While the Harlequin did a double-take at the audacity of the act, Rey asked “This a good spot?”

“Perfect.” Aradia illuminated the jem with a brilliant white laser projected from her fingertip. Rey, for her own part, channeled her power to siphon some of the plasma that was fueling her into it as well. It was less than a second before Rey felt a crack, and took that has her cue to let go and back away very casually.

Rey watched from a roof across the street as the jewel exploded, throwing the Harlequin through the wall of the bank.

She only recently had been able to go this fast, after Aradia had given her an upgrade: The Heart. The Heart was a backpack fusion reactor that produced functionally infinite plasma for her to fuel her power with. She use to be able to consistently hit speeds of about fifteen miles a minute, but she’d only be able to sustain that for a handful of minutes. With the Heart, however, she’d been clocking a mile a second, and she had been able to sustain that for at least fifteen minutes, long enough to run from New York City to Danesville, without a sweat.

She pulled her phone out and checked to see Felicia’s response:

If that becomes the last text you ever send anybody i’m donating this phone to the smithsonian for their astras league exhibit

Rey smiled, and put her phone away. She went to step off the roof, but stopped when she noticed a strange flower growing out of the gravel spread across the roof. She summoned some plasma to her palm to shine a light on the flower, which closed its petals against the intense beam of sun-simulacrum.

She heard a crunch against the gravel behind her, and as quickly as she could she turned to face the sound, delivering her neck quite nicely into the grasp of a viney tentacle.

“Well, well, well,” world-infamous supervillainess Babalon said, as she lifted Rey off the ground.

She was dark-skinned, indian-american if Rey remembered the various tv specials about her correctly. Her hair was a long braided tangle, interwoven with branches and interspersed with flowers. She was wearing a bodysuit that was either made of leaves or designed to look like it was made of leaves. Holding her up off the ground were a dozen or so ten-foot-long, inch-thick vines that sprouted from her back and waist, one of which was stretched out and holding Rey. Each vine ended in a bundle of two-foot-long “fingers” each of which could move individually but tended to be used in groups. The fingers were what was wrapped around Rey's neck, preventing her from making her retreat.

Babalon drew herself closer to Rey. “It seems the self-pompous priestess of light has found herself a new disciple. Wanna know what I did to the last one?”

“I'm good, actually. Hey, why'd you name yourself Babalon?” Rey responded, grabbing the vine around her neck with both hands and channeling some of her plasma into it. Babalon recoiled as two feet of that vine was instantly incinerated.

“She gave you the Light too?! HOW?!” Babalon screamed as she swung another of her vines at Rey, faster even than most other superspeedsters Rey had ever met. No wonder she was on the top tier, worthy of being one of the few that drew Astra herself out to fight.

Rey needed to actually focus. Her new upgrade gave her an edge, but only barely.

She boosted herself backwards, remembering just a little too late that the edge of the roof had been behind her. She tripped over the parapet and fell back over the edge, and slowed time down to give her some space for thought. She was about 5 stories up. It would take about 4 seconds to reach the ground. That was plenty of time. She brought her hand to her chin and pondered.

She had only had three hours to adjust to her new power level, but she was fairly confident in her ability. She had developed one specific new skill, something almost unnoticeable that she had nonetheless noticed running up and down buildings all night. She just needed to figure out how to do it on purpose.

She felt the writing mass of plasma on her back, the Heart, given to her by Aradia. She felt its warmth, its light. “The Light”, Babalon had called it. Astra, local goddess she was, had never revealed what it was that fueled her cosmic might, but she did do a lot of glowing while she used it. Was this the same Light? Rey had no idea, but it was a fun little supposition to make. And it did somewhat explain the aforementioned new skill.

“Are you... posing?” Babalon asked, apparently appalled by the gall Rey was exhibiting.

Rey had been focusing on both her inner monologue and maintaining the hand to the chin, and hadn’t noticed that time had resumed normal speed and she hadn’t continued falling.

“What the fuck?!” Shay yelled. “I’m not doing that!

Rey looked at herself. She appeared to be just standing at a 90 degree angle from vertical, 45 feet above the street. “Huh. Didn’t know I could do that.” As she moved, the plasma trail that indicated she was using her power traced her every gesture.

Babalon lunged over the edge, and Rey cut out her power to drop herself out of reach. Shay reached out and grabbed Rey before she hit the ground, following the unprecedented failure of Rey to reactivate the hovering part with the rest of her powers.

“That was weird,” Rey told the others as she righted herself. “Anyway, what’s up with this bitch, Rad?”

Aradia gave Rey a look of annoyance for using her nickname. “That’s Jane Newark. She’s...” Aradia sighed. “A pseudodemon, and a Whore.”

“Wow, strong words. But, I get the idea. Let’s kick her ass.”

A brick whizzed past Rey's head. “Forgetting something?” the Harlequin growled.

“Elle, help me out with Babalon, the rest of you keep dealing with dollface.”

Elle zapped up to the roof with Babalon, with Rey following.

“The witch’s new toys are out to play, I see...” Babalon said as she circled the two. “I’ve killed 5 of Astra’s League, you two small fries don’t stand a chance.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Rey said winding up a punch, Elle standing behind her. “Elle, now!”

Elle jumped forwards, converting herself into pure electrical energy, electrical plasma. She wrapped herself around Rey’s arm, and Rey absorbed her and used her energy to launch herself forward, fist first. Elle released herself the instant Rey’s fist hit Babalon’s chest, exploding out of Rey’s hand, shooting forwards and launching Babalon into the sky.

Elle continued to the clouds, dragging Babalon along with her. She rematerialized periodically, taking opportunities to give Babalon a kick or two before returning to plasma to dodge Babalon’s flailing vines. On the ground, Rey flowed through the streets, following Elle’s flashes of lightning.

Elle eventually let Babalon go in the middle of a cloud over a field outside the city. She struck down to the ground, and started waiting for Babalon to fall down to her. Rey caught up only a few seconds later. They acknowledged each other with a fistbump that crackled with static and neon.

“So what was with that flying thing back there?” Elle asked.

“I don’t really know. This nuclear backpack Rad gave me has some fucking magic in it or something.”

“Can you do it again?”

“I mean, probably. I don’t know how though. How do you do it?”

‘“It’s just an instinctual extension of my power. But it’s not really the same as, like, how Astra flies.”

“I mean, obviously. But I gotta start somewhere.”

“What if you just try running up?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“When you run with your power, it’s like pushing yourself in the direction you want to go, right? Just do that, but up.”

“I don’t know...” Rey was silent as she looked up to inspect Babalon's progress towards the ground. “Wait, shit, I just got it.”

“Got what?”

“It’s the Garden of Babalon, because she controls plants.”

Elle sighed. “That does make sense, yeah. You wanna give it a go, with me giving you a boost?”

“Give what a go?”

“Running up.”

“I mean, sure. But you gotta promise to catch me if it don't work.” Rey reached out her hand towards Elle

“Deal.” Elle took Rey’s hand. “3, 2, 1...” Elle converted to lightning and crackled over Rey’s skin as Rey absorbed her, before Rey knelt down and then jumped into the air, Elle releasing herself to give Rey a little extra height.

Rey tried doing what Elle suggested, activating her power to try to force herself higher. As Elle jumped out of her, Rey tried to siphon some of the extra energy Elle had given her, and add it to her reservoir.

She didn’t expect that she would be rocketed into the sky at the same speed she could run. She passed Babalon, still on her own journey down, before she knew what was happening, and hit the clouds in a single second.

Elle, still nearly on the ground, for a second thought her friend had exploded or somehow vaporized herself, until she backed away and saw Rey’s plasma trail tracing a thick, bright line straight up. “Holy shit, Rey.”

Rey, now whizzing past the clouds, considered what to do next. She calmly pulled some plasma from the Heart, though not nearly as much as she used to get into this position, and then tried activating her power downwards to slow her still very rapid ascent through the atmosphere. She managed to stop herself before she got to the point where the air would be too thin to breath, and then let herself start to drop back down to Earth. She periodically slowed herself down, until she was continuously doing it, and was floating like she had done accidentally before. She experimented with the hypothetical throttle of her power, gently increasing and decreasing to raise higher and lower, and then tried to change the angle at which the was directing her power, and managed to achieve something quite analogous to how she assumed someone like Astra could fly.

She glanced down, and noticed Elle zapping around a very angry looking dot, and dropped down to join her.

“Nice of you to join us,” Elle said as Rey gently fell to a stop a few dozen feet above the grass.

“Hey, turns out, I can totally fly.”

“Join the club.”

“We just did, like 5 hours ago.”

“Shut and help me, Rey.”

Rey dropped down to the ground, where Babalon was swinging her vines wildly to try and and reach the two heroes floating just out of her reach.

“You getting tired yet?” Rey asked her. “If you want I could go get Astra, somebody you can actually get some good swings in with.”

“Don’t act like you’re too powerful for me. You haven’t laid a finger on me either, you stupid punk.”

“Tell that to your singed vine.”

Babalon lunged at Rey, growling with frustration. Rey zipped past her vines, and grabbed the vine harness that anchored her plant limbs to her human body. Rey pumped plasma directly from the Heart onto the vines, incinerating them and burning away the leaf-like costume Babalon was wearing.

Babalon swung one of her human arms, hitting Rey and sending her flying.

Rey crashed into the grass, rolling and yelling in pain. “FUCK! I think my rib is broken...”

Babalon, now robbed of her major advantage and seething with rage, stomped towards the now vulnerable hero. “That’s why it takes Astra to handle me, you petulant child. She can take a hit.”

Elle zapped over to Rey, to put herself between Rey and Babalon. “You get back, you bitch.” Elle unwound the chains she kept wrapped around her arms, and started swinging them, striking sparks between them. “We aren’t done here, yet.”

“I’ll just kill you both, then.”

Elle ran at Babalon, and then zapped around her, leaving her chains corporeal enough to wrap around Babalon’s arms. Elle materialized behind her and twisted the chains to bind Babalon’s arms behind her. “Do anything stupid and your heart’s a piece of burnt toast.”

“Bold of you to assume I have one.”

“Well, if you say so.” Elle pumped 10,000 volts across her hands, sending the current across Babalon’s shoulders, setting her skin on fire most evidently. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Elle atomized the chains and rematerialized them back on her own arms, and then kicked Babalon to the ground, where she screamed in apparent agony. “Rey, do you think you can walk?”

Rey slowly got to her feet, grunting occasionally whenever she agitated the broken rib. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Can you send up a flare?”

“Yeah.” Rey raised her palm up to the sky, and launched a plasma ball into the air, arcing slightly towards the city.

A portal appeared a dozen seconds later, out of which Aradia, Shay, and Hilda stepped. Rey saw, through the portal, the Harlequin, restrained tightly by a few dozen feet of chain wrapped around her, being loaded into a police van.

“Good work, girls,” Aradia congratulated. “You are certainly working hard to earn your place on this team.” Aradia strode towards the writhing Babalon, and pulled all of the adamantium from the jewelry she was wearing and sent it to lift Babalon and hogtie her. “Wait until Astra hears how the youngest members of the League took you down on their own.”

“Your threats of humiliation mean nothing, witch,” Babalon spat.

Aradia muzzled Babalon with the remaining adamantium she had. “Shut the fuck up, Whore.”

Rey limped over. “Hey, I don’t suppose you got any healing magic, do you?”

“Depends how severe your injury.”

“Broken rib?”

“Just one? No trouble at all.” Aradia quickly danced out a spell, which sent a warmth up through Rey’s ribcage. “Now, I would suggest you rest for a while before...”

“No can do, doc, I’ve got a date to keep.” Punctuated by a communal sigh from all five of the other women, Rey zipped off.

#Astraverse #Rey Walker #superhero #superhero literature #Serial story #writing

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atomicbark-blog · 6 years ago

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Sugar Fall and Morailegence

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 6:08 PM

(blood ment.)

Your name is Jay Harley and you have just started to wake up after being knocked out by Stitch. Clutching your bleeding head you lift it too fast and see stars, almost hurking right then and there. Some common sense has seemed to leak back into your head despite you laughing at this moment. You push yourself up onto the wall and teleport out into the hallway, you hit the floor immediately clutching your mouth. You won't be able to teleport this much like this.

Crawling over to a wall you pull out your phone and shoot Doze a text before pulling yourself up the wall, your claws digging into the drywall. You start to stagger off, laughing manically under your breath, a raspberry red bloodstain following your trail against the wall.(edited)

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 6:42 PM

Your name, or at least what you call yourself is Doze. John Doze usually...it's kind of a fun play on words. At least you think so. At least you would if you weren't a bit upset right now. Upset at having been stuck in spot while everything has been going tits up, upset that you weren't fast enough to get far enough so you could be with Clover. Upset you aren't with Clover now and are making him worry even more probably. And upset that you know you're on your way to do something stupid but here you go.

It'd have been one thing if Jay had just been candy crush cackle-mad...but the combination of her messages was more than concerning. You didn't know if these Tricksters were immortal...but if they were and Jay wasn't working right then perhaps not. And you already have a life of regrets you have forgotten, letting Jay possibly bleed out in the manor alone was not one of them you wanted to add to the mist.

Leaving your hiding spot, you begin to make your way through what felt like an empty manor, making your way to where Jay last said she was.

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 6:52 PM

You had staggered farther down the hallway since messaging Doze, you had to stop to do that or otherwise you would of fallen down right there and you weren't sure if you could get up again from that. Everything hurt and hurt a lot, ever since Clover cracked you a good one you hadn't started to heal like the other tricksters and man did it suck to some point. You keep staggering on despite your pain, it's something you were trained to do. Keep on carrying on, you could even stagger home after getting shot if you really wanted too, but right now with the glitching back and forth and feeling like something.. someone was hunting you down again. You were way to terrified to focus on ignoring the pain, you just wanted to reach Doze.

Your blood trail skids down for a second as you crouch/crawl your way to the other side of the wall so you can continue towards the Lounge. Having no idea what is keeping you moving or why you do keep moving instead of staying still, you keep trekking along. Making it to the start of the stair way you crumple to your knees an lean against the banister, "Fuck making it down those.. Hahhaha!" You chuckle under your breath and lean your head against the railing, "Please get to me furst Dozey.~" Churring you close your eyes for a second, you just need a breather, yeah. Just a few minute rest.

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 7:00 PM

You see the bloodtrail first, momentarily wonder if this is how Trace feels when he's tracking folks down. Probably more exciting for Trace. Less terrible for Trace. He gets to see people, you just get to see blood. As you round the corner, you see the figure slumped by the bannister. Wellp. Here goes nothing and everything as you get closer.

"Ey. Ey Jay. What do you say. Lets go on out and have have a really nice day." You say softly as you get closer.

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 7:11 PM

Your bent puppy ears flick as you hear Doze's voice an you groan, looking up slowly an over at him. One of your eyes is held closed, you didn't want to get blood in it. He gets to see it in full and somewhere in your mind that upsets you, having him see you like this. A new jagged wide scar from the left side of your fore head to your right cheek, and absolutely covered in blood. You grumble softly, and try to stand up, shaking tiredly as you do so and nod at Doze, stars flashing in your vision.

"Mmm.." You stand up fully and rock back and forth before grinning brightly, "Oh really!? I would LOVE that!" Your being glitches for a moment and a more calmer tone takes place, "Anywhere away from Stitch and them would be fine with me honestly."

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 7:18 PM

A noticable frown at the blood. Oh no...you can't be mad at Clover for doing what he had to do...but its still painful to see. Pulling out a large blue scarf like you were some kind of magician, you start to wrap it around her head and injury. "Ye ye...sure thing. Lets getcha outta here. Ye aint allowed to get anymore badass lookin scars today."

With careful slowness, you lean down to scoop her up in your arms. "I gotta couple places where I do some of my other business that I can take ye to. Stitch ain't the only one know knows his way about medical equipment. Kek." It's true...while Stitch's job was patching people together....yours was often taking them apart. As slow as possible. Making sure they stay alive for as long as possible. Torture ain't worth it if the person bleeds out in an hour after all.

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 7:28 PM

You are touching the scarf lightly a soft smile on your face when he scoops you up. You let out a yelp of surprise and cling to him before laughing. You grunt and shake your head at that, trying to keep the candy syrupiness out of your brain. You lean away from him an whine, "I don't want to risk turning you." Frowning an wobbling a little you set your head against his shoulder, your breathing ragged an chest shaking with each breath.

As much as you wanted to make sure he didn't touch you because of the risk, you just didn't have it in you to fight against it. You nod and grumble softly, ears drooping, "Yeah.. That sounds Peachy! Urk sounds pretty good, I'm all there for it." You allow yourself to rest against him and you find yourself smiling again, man he makes you feel so safe and calm it's absolutely wild.

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 7:33 PM

"Iffn I'm gonna get all hit with this crazy kittykat bullshit, I'd rather do it helping ya get to safety than getting kerfuckle kissed by some sappy assed sons of bitches. Priorities yo. Maybe I'll end up being the act three goes out like a hero sucker kek." You grin as you cautiously take her down the stairs and head towards the garage. Fuck there's blood everywhere and while you have some tools here if folks are on the hunt and she's scared to want out...best not to push it in case she glitches bad.

"Sides. Prolly ain't gonna work on me. Know why? Cause I already happy as shit. Know why times two? I already got everything I need to be fuckass happy. I got Clover. I got you. I got skills to pay the bills. And I even got a dumbass fuckface I get to dunk on once all this is over. Bread and Circuses all the way. Why the fuck would I need anything else to be happy." Part of you is saying it for yourself, as you ignore how much her blood smells like raspberry taffy.

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 7:48 PM

You genuinely laugh at his words an grin up at him through your daze, "Yeah it fucking sucked lemme tell ya." You glitch a bit, your grin more manic like, "Got my forehead SMOTHERED is kisses be DOC!!!!" You practically slap yourself on the forehead, right on the wound and glitch back, "Never thought I'd see the day he would do something like that. Shit felt cursed." You snort an laugh softly.

You find yourself gripping Doze tighter as he descends the stairs, you didn't want to fall, in fact now would be the damn worst time for that. You look up at him surprised before nodding, "You got that right. Damn I honestly didn't want this." You feel yourself frown heavily before you glitch like crazy, grunting you hide your face behind your hands and mutter to yourself, "Okay, Okay. No sad feels I got it jesus FUCK!" You bury your hands and face into Doze's shoulder to get yourself to calm down again, "Oof.. Sorry sorry. Looks like trickster me doesn't like thinking about sad shit."

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 7:57 PM

"Sounds like Trickster you is a godamn pussy." you snort. "Do you think we'd be where we are without the sad and the bad? It's that sad and bad shit that makes all the good shit special. If I wanted something fuckin happy without purpose I'd just load up on a dozen how may i serve you mlord click with yo dick games or something." Carefully opening the door, you note which cars are gone and which remain before getting a set of keys for yourself.

"That said. Think about some happy shit. This ain't gonna last forever. And then! We're gonna have some fuckin fine dining on the fanciest daki pillows. Can watch the best of vine videos till we're cry laughing like dipshits." A wide smile. "Don't need no candy ass magic to have a great time. We're gonna show that candy ass magic that its just a punk ass bitch that only wishes it could have as much fun as we do when you and I are in full swing."

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 8:12 PM

You laugh into his shoulder and nod, your gummy like hair bouncing with the movement, "Such a pussy, gotta be what you eat." You crack up more and bite your lip, snorting and laughing though your nose. "God the way you say things are great, honestly never a dull moment around you." You purr, then stop and blink surprised that you can even do that. With a soft oh shit and a tail wag you go back to purring, looking out and watching Doze do his thing.

"Hell yeah you tell it Doze. We are gonna have a damn good time." You glitch heavily for a moment as you grumble lowly, "I don't need no damn candy to be happy with the people I love an care about." Stars brightly flash in your vision again and your ears flick back and down, "Ough fuck that's bright." You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment and shake your head as you chill out again.

Tilting your head you look up and blink at Doze with a confused smile, "Are we leaving the mansion?"

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 8:15 PM

"Ye ye. Gonna have a good time." You nod as you head over to one of hte cars. "Also ye. Gonna take ya to my baddass tat parlor. Show you my sweet as fuck studio. Finally can give you a bonafide tour of the place."

Helps that you also have some other tools there for your other jobs. Though thats a bit more of a hush hush matter. "Maybe if some place is open we can get some snacks n shit. Just chillin about while I help patch ya up."

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 8:25 PM

"Oh man that sound great. Gonna be honest my candy side has been wanting a tattoo on the fucking ass and I'm all kinds of fucked up to agree with her on that point." You grab onto Doze's shirt as you wobbly lower yourself out of his arms, with a grabby hands motion you more of fall onto the car than grab it. You glitch with that jostle and grin wide, "Honestly!!!! What's so BAD about tattoos!~ Doc won't be seeing my ASS and I'm all UP for some rule breaking FUN!!!!~" A huge part of you is glad you got out of Doze's arms at that moment. You really didn't know how much longer you could of held the fake candy happy side back.

You adjust the scarf on your head, still grinning and teleport the Kitsune mask to your hand. With a wink at Doze you laugh, "You really don't need to WORRY about this side of me! When I promise something it goes STRAIGHT to my HEART." You do the cross my heart and hope to die sign and hope in the car, glitching as you do so. You sigh, "I'm a bit tired, I'm sorry I can't calm that side down as much as I want too."

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 8:36 PM

You give a nod as you close the door for her. "Ye ye I trust ya Jay. Like you've never lied to me in all yer life why would I think you'd do different now. Candy or not yer still you." With that you hop into the drivers seat, stirring the car's engine to life. "Never understood why he was against you getting tats. Like shit I'm covered in em and most of the guys got'em. Specially since what you were describin is pretty classy." Pulling out of the garage, you start to drive off at a fairly amicable pace. Go figure, you're the only person in the Felt who drives at the speed limit or under. Noting the sky and grass, you shake your head. "What a trip huh."

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 8:44 PM

You hum and rub your head, you keep opening the wound up like and absolute idiot. "I don't know either." You grab the handle on the seat and lay back, enjoying the slow ride. "I said dick near him once and like-" You laugh before you can even finish, patting your chest lightly, "He fucking said I was banned from sex." You wipe your open eye, and shake your head. "I think he's trying to keep me...." You open your eyes wide and glitch out like crazy before sitting up quickly and gasping for breath. "Fuck fuck fuck, stop doing that... keep me to himself. Doesn't want my loyalties getting all fucked up and shit." You sit back again groaning, "Like I would even be able to with how damn loyal the animal side of me is." You scrunch your brow and nod, "You know what. Yeah! Let's get me a fucking tattoo! Damn prove it to him! I ain't no DAMN THIN LINED person! I don't fucking BREAK!" You pump your fist into the air.

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 9:06 PM

There is a laugh as you turn a corner. "That's the problem with loyalties really. Make em too rigid they're gonna rebel. You'd think after raising a shit ton of kids he'd have figured that one out but he's always after his white whale of the perfect example." There is a shrug. "The other thing about loyalties, they gotta be about trust. You can try day in day out to force loyalty but...if you can't ever really be sure they're loyal and trust them...yer gonna keep just putting that pressure on until they break." Another laugh. "Well tell ya what. I'll die on that hill with ya when this is said n done and you still want it. Fuckit I'll take the tank for that why not. I ain't gonna do it right now tho cause yer pretty damn hurt and I got some principles. Don't do tats when someone's drunk or doped up, also don't know if that'll end up causing some troubles in her state."

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 9:23 PM

You nod slowly and sigh, "I, oof.. everything is so muddled in my mind I feel like I'm swimming through a swamp. I don't even feel like this after getting drunk what the hell. Yeah, I get what you are saying, I don't know if he trusts me or not to be honest. I think he just expects me to be 100% loyal to him, and like yeah I am but cutting me off from things that I want isn't the way to go on ensuring that I stay loyal. It's not like I'm gonna betray yall, I can't." You shove your kitsune mask onto your face and flinch when it pushes into your wound. You close your eyes behind the mask and laugh, "Thanks Doze, I do want it, a lot actually, but I won't let you take the heat for it. Can't in fact. My problem" You grin behind your mask, "I'd rather have you protected than deal with something I asked fur." You reach over blindly and pat his shoulder, "I understand that policy, be best too honestly-" You glitch, your candy brightness taking a hold again and gripping on hard. "Hehehe!! Yeah! Don't wanna mess up and get LOTS of tattoos!" Jesus give me a break can't she just come to an agreement with you already and mellow out. You touch the wound and tilt your head, perhaps that will be fixed when you are all fixed up. The crowbar seems to have split you in two like a damn cherub.

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 9:34 PM

"Wouldn't be surprised if Doc doesn't trust anyone, even himself. Ain't anything against you, just how he be I guess." Or maybe he has a hard time trusting because he knows even if the ends justify the means the betrayals he gave are ever likely to return to his doorstep one day....but you don't voice that part. That ain't your business to say. "Psssh." You grin back as you glance at the masked face. "Bitch please. We innit to winnit. If I'm out here risking candy toxic shock fer ya you think I'm not gonna take a dunk in the tank if it comes to it. I ain't lettin ya be the only one to take that heat." Glancing at the streets, you dodge some rather huh...well ain't this getting crazy with the decor. Be funny if those stuck behind when this was all over. But you're just about to your parlor at least and this part of the city seems a ghost town.

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 9:47 PM

You sit back up, dragging the seat with you as you turn and face Doze, some good ass feeling jams right here damn, gotta pay full attention. "Hmm!~ The tank? Oh those Goop Tubes! Hehe!! Snow put me in one of those before I forced myself out of the grey magics! Those things are ABSOLUTLY terrifying!!!!" You laugh and glitch lightly, "Damn things are hell thats what they are, first time in one." You shake like you are trying to get water off of you and stick your tongue out, your mask following suit, "If we get dunked together we can chill together then, the after affects isn't something to deal with on your own." You look over your shoulder to the world out side and it finally hits you how much everything has gone to shit, "Wow... I missed this? Where is everyone...?" You don't like this one bit, you feel yourself slightly shift towards Doze as you murmur out, "Thank you... for staying at the mansion and for coming for me.. I didn't know how bad it got."

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 10:23 PM

The laugh turns to a cackle. "Ye ye the goop tanks. They sure are something ain't they." You give a nod as you pull into parking lot for the parlor. Giving a slow glance for any trouble, you step out of the car with shotgun in tow. You had no problems blasting some candy coated jackass across the wall if it came to it. As you get the door, you shrug. "Ye ye....shits gone to utter fuckin hell. Rip in the sky's bigger too it seems." You comment as you point up. "There's a few holdouts of folks trying to wait it out or stay safe but who knows how long its gonna last." There's a frown. "....think before I left I saw something about losing Trace to it. Probably means we're all gonna be kerfuckled considering he can track us down one by one in time."

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 10:31 PM

You hop out of the car and decide it would be easier to float then walk, in which you to. You float after Doze humming sweetly as you do, "Oh yeah!! That was my fault.~ I did this SICK NASTY move on Snowman and made her hit the pavement after she made me eat pavement! I was a cherub then though!! And my other side on that note is rather WORSE than this one." Your mask winks, the eye that opens is full of flashing different colours, it's rather hypnotizing actually. You straighten out and look around grinning, "Well hell has some interesting tastes!~" You turn back around and float into the Parlor, "Trace went mad happy then? That's unfortunate." You settle your tippy toes on the ground and drag them as you float around the place, "Hmm.. Wouldn't Nepeta and Fin be in trouble first. Do you know if anyone has gone to help them?" You look back at Doze.

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 10:41 PM

You step inside after her before locking it. It's a pretty nice setup, sterile and well kept with paintings mural'd on the wall. You noticably frown. "Hopefully. Maybe. Not sure. It's Trace. And he's got probably some similar setups to what ya'll been having so he can prolly chase forever." The frown deepens but you shake your head. "Nothing to do bout it here." You lead her to one of the backrooms. "But I can at least getcha fixed up a bit, so that counts for something maybe. Have a seat over there and we'll get this all started up." The chair looks relatively comfortable, obviously designs with tattoo clients in mind who would have to likely be seated in themf or hours.

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 10:48 PM

You put a hand on his shoulder worriedly and pap him, "Fin says my teleporting messes up the trails, If need be I can get us the hell out of here and keep you safe." You glitch and your mask grins as you float over and sit down, "Like I sai-i-id!~ I won't turn you." You tilt your head all cutesy like and look around, "What do you plan on doing? Oh uh shit You are gonna sew my face all up and shit huh? Oh damn." You clutch the mask tightly to your face before slowly taking it off, your thick syrup blood sticking to it, "Oh gross why the fuck did I put that on again." Saying fuck it to the mask and placing it in your lay you shakily reach up for the blue scarf, not really able to see what you are doing.

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 10:57 PM

You're washing your hands before putting on some latex gloves. Gotta be pro and sterile about this stuff. "That's good too know. Maybe be the ultimate ace in the hole really. Aight. Gonna try to get that cleaned a bit and see what damage we workin with. Gonna sting for a few until the local antiseptics kick in. Then prolly just gonna feel weird as fuck." You roll up a wheelie chair along with a tray of tools, bottles, and a pan of water as you help carefully remove the blue scarf, taking time to try to dab and wipe away the blood on her face as you keep gauze on hand to apply pressure in case it starts pouring blood again. "Gonna have to see what I'm workin with first but looking like you may need a bit of stitches as is. Gotta say Clover kind of cracked ya good."

Plush (JS/MI)Yesterday at 11:09 PM

You move your hands out of his way and close your eyes so he can do what he needs to, "Yeah, Though I can't say that I'm mad at him. It helped me break through... and since my trickster ass lunged for him I say I deserved it yeah." You scrunch your face slightly as your pain receptors flare up from your wound being cleaned. With how thick your blood is at the moment it doesn't pour blood as much as it slowly slides down your face again like syrup on pancakes. "Stitch's meaty damn cherub claws got me on the shoulders too, I didn't mention those because they don't hurt as much as my face does. They can honestly probably heal on their own." You force yourself to sit rigidly still for Doze so you don't cause him to mess up. The would is deepest on the top left part of your skull and kind of just drags through across your face. The condition of your eye is unknown, you still have yet to open it, honestly fearing the worst after getting use to having it closed this long. With out her effigy healing her up, she would need stitches for the left side of her face, the right side could heal properly on its own.

Mabs (PI/02)Yesterday at 11:16 PM

You methodically rinse and clean the wound, applying a dab of numbing agent as you go. The blood's a bit weirder than what you're used to...but almost in a good way since it isn't pouring out faster than you can clean. "I'll give em a checkout once I finish up the worst of it here. No sense in leaving a job half-assed n shit." There is extra precaution around her eye, probably would need her to rinse that out at the sink afterwards. "Oof...ye....looks like her gonna need some stitches pupperoni. Fortunately I can likely do it without it ending up looking like Stitche's face. Gonna likely have a mark when its all done though. Gonna look like one of those baddass anime babes with the sword three sizes too big for her."

October 16, 2018

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 12:10 AM

"Oh alright, you gotta point. Plus I shouldn't just leave them to bleed everywhere huh." You pause an snort under your breath, "Is it weird that I kind of want to lick my blood, shit looks hella tasty but also gets all of your teeth rotten in under two seconds." You reach up and carefully tie your hair up and out of your wound. "Alright, I'm fine with that, needles don't bother me too much and with how damn fine your tattoo work is I trust that you will definitely hold to that." You tap your fingers on the chair, feeling honestly kind of bundled up, "Say, anything you want to do after this, can like.. satisfy the damn candy side of me and shit so I can mellow out." You flick your ears an look at him, "Honestly think you out of anyone would be able to help me mellow out so I don't cause any more trouble." You grab your tail and bap it between your hands, something to do so you aren't sitting still and jittering out, "I feel safe an calm around you." You laugh softly and grip your tail.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 12:18 AM

"Can't deny its too weird. I mean be lying if I said it didn't smell fuckin delicious." You smirk. "But then perhaps I ain't the best judge of what is delicious considerin my appetites." You give some of the area near the wound a couple test pokes to ensure that the area was good and numbe before sterilizing the needle. "If any of this starts to hurt lemme know and I can dab more numbin shit on it. All about that comfort here." You slowly get to work, hands working with a precise smoothness to them that your powers have granted. "Hard to say really. Problem with things is yer gonna be a-ok no doubt no problem but pretty sure me being out and about is the worst thing I can do. Trying to keep out of the radar in all of this shit. Whatcha candy side hankerin for?"

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 12:40 AM

"Will do..!" You swipe some blood off of your mask and look at it, "Hm. What's wrong with your appetite?" You raise the blood up to your nose and sniff, damn that did taste delicious. Like you just snorted a whole can of koolaid up your nose. Resist the temptation to lick it... You don't even flinch as he starts, you more of relax even more, glad to have someone stitching you up. "Hmm I don't know. Nothing to crazy honestly. I'm chill with just hanging out with you and letting myself mellow out and fall out of this trickster state. Kind of tired of it honestly. I only need one good head bashing for me to be done with something." You say fuck it and give the blood on your finger a little lick and scrunch your nose up, that was like opening a whole box of pixie stixs and downing them with the wrappers on. "If you want to go back to the mansion after this I'm up for that. The tricksters seem to be turning their heads from that place fur now."

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 12:51 AM

"Some folks get really nit picky about what is and ain't cool to eat. Like sure no problem killin a pig or a cow and making ground up burgers. But then folks are like can't eat rats. Can't eat this. That is gross. But like...at the end of it all, meat's meat yanno? Ain't no chicken gonna care what happens to it after its dead, same for every other thing. Carapaces, trolls...folks...in the end we're all about the same." As you talk, you carefully make small stiches up the wound, taking pauses to clean and dab and add a bit more numbing agent to it as you go. "Chillin sounds good to me. After this we can prolly vamoose to one of my layday locations. Keep all my dvds there n shit. Watch some movies. Hang out in pillow land. Take 20 naps. Its my fav place to just go and pass time by doing shit all. Prolly best not to get back to the mansion anymore. Tho I'll understand if you wanted to. "

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 1:04 AM

"Yeah yeah I get that. Gonna be honest, when I was younger and not really uh hm.. mannerized? I would go in the back yard and dig up the moles an just-" You laugh, "Wasn't pretty. So I understand what you are saying, I don't think anything is wrong with that." As he moves away from your left eye you open it, it's entire colour has changed to a dark cherry red. "Hm." You pat your cheek under it and your ears flick back as panic races through you. "..." You close it again and say nothing on the note of not seeing your fingers from that eye. "Yeah that sounds good. I could use a good rest after this honestly." You smile softly at him, "It will probably be for the best to go there too. Does anyone else know about these layday places?" You shake your head slightly, "The mansion will be fine. I doubt anyone but us could navigate it honestly."

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 1:12 AM

"Ah hell I'm not younger and I'm still not mannerized. Elbows on all them fuckin tables. Kek!" You grin wide as you are starting to finish up the last of the stitches. "Moles pretty alright, though small things got like not much good meat on em so they're a bit a pain. Like the sunflower seeds of the meat kingdom." You dab up the last of the mess around the stitches before applying some Hello Kitty bandages over them. "Nah. Chances are once this blows over I'll move it again elsewhere. Always good to have little somethings that you can call your own. And ye ye...highly doubt that the mansion is in any danger. Prolly safer than most of the folks in the city."

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 1:33 AM

You snort and shake your head, "Yeah they are, no way would they satisfy me now. Little dirt creatures." You reach an gingerly pat your head and sigh, "Oh man, that is much better. Thank you." You blink a few times before wagging your tail happily. "I feel like I can think again- Though still being full candy decked out is concerning. How long does it take to go back to normal?" You wave your hand in front of your left eye again and make tsk noise when nothing happens. No worry right? It's just from the head injury, vision should come back soon enough. "Ohh alright then yeah, that sounds like the safest place to go right now." You nod with his thoughts on the mansion, agreeing. You place a foot under you and float up and back, away from the chair and reach back to where Stitch scratched you, "Hmm..?" Not feeling anything you twirl for a second trying to look before floating over to Doze. "So... I'm thinking... Wounds from the crowbar as trickster doesn't heal but wounds from other things do because even though I bled the claw marks are gone."

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 1:40 AM

"No problem. Always glad to help...glad its helpin ya some." You roll back a bit as you start to put stuff away. "Not sure really. Most grey shit tends to be like....few days. Week tops? Who knows though. It'll sort out when it does tho." "Oh?" You tilt your head and notice that yeah, despite the streaks of red there was no indicator that injuries were ever there.. "Huh...kinda cool. Guessn' its a good thing to know. Gotta admit, the outfit is kind of fuckin adorbs as well. Though still think green is a way better color on ya." You take a few minutes to clean up and wash some tools and offer to let Jay wash her mask, noting her eye. "Ah dang looks like you may have bust a vessel in there. Hows yer vision?"

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 2:30 AM

Your ears flick back as he asks what you didn't want to hear. "Uh. My right eye is perfectly fine but uhm.." You wash your mask and put it on easily afterwards. "As for my left eye, I can't see out of it at all." You look over at him and shrug as you touch the floor with both feet, "Oops? I hope it temporary... How do I deal with the busted vessel though uh hm that sounds more important." You let down your hair and bounce it around before curling your tail over it. "Mh! I like my original wardrobe but I wouldn't mind being this pink or having this fun gummy hair."

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 2:37 AM

"Ye ye. Prolly will be fine. Prolly just gotta wear a badass eyepatch for a while to let it rest up and shit." You were hopeful if only because that was one of the many things you had no idea about. With a smile, you lean over and whisper the location of your hidey hole. Appears to be an abandoned bunker just a bit outside the city. "The hair is pretty baller gotta say. If it wasn't for the utter fuckwittery wouldn't have been against this whole thing but shit its just a fuckin mess."

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 2:52 AM

"Oh damn, look like a sick pirate. I even have a Halberd for it, go straight into conquer the sea times." You smile worriedly behind your mask and decide to throw the fear behind you. Best not dwell on it when you guys are about to chill the hell out and wait out the rest of this hell. You tilt your head as he tells you its location, your ear flicking and with a nod you put a hand on his shoulder. "Oh god yeah, I would be totally for this style if the manic shit wasn't behind it." You teleport to the location he told you, and blip back out for a second to teleport the car back home. Maybe that would fuck with the trails even more. Haha have fun Trace. You flash back in next to Doze and wobble a bit, "Damn that was the biggest fucking thing I ever teleported. Straight migraine damn, never teleporting a car again unless absolutely necessary." You look around the place as your vision stills and look around, "Ooh shit, maximum comfort, what movies do you have?"

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 2:59 AM

"Hell yeah. If things go tits up we can just steal a boat and sail uh...actually we could steal a space ship and be badass fuckin space pirates." You laugh as you finish cleaning up.

A teleport in, she's gone, then back...and looks pretty wobbley. You hold out an arm to prop her up. So far you haven't been feeling any of the effects of sugarfication...who knows maybe your slow ass time shit is making it hard for it to stick in small quantitites. The outside looks pretty ramshackle and barren, but after a couple corridors you find yourselves in a fairly comfortable looking room. Large throw pillows, some tacky beaded curtains for giggles and a nice entertainment system with fridge. "Ah shit I got a bit of everything. Like to keep up on the Earth flicks going down. Guessn I'm already a pirate as is kek. Got some cute Disney shit, some action movies, some crazy ass giant animal attack stuff, this kind of sweet ass nature documentary...even a couple rom coms though they're kind of fuckin tropey as shit."

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 3:49 AM

You pause at the beaded door way for a minute and tilt your head, pawing at them and laughing softly at the noise they make. You eventually get your arm stuck in them and have to teleport out to fix them, snickering as you do so, damn you gotta get some of these things. And I just realized you said beaded curtains but we thrive in idjit land here. You wonder around the place, getting yourself use to it before low floating back to Doze and setting down again to listen to his movie list. You snort at his joke and nod, "Pirate buds." You raise your hand for a fist bump but hesitate.. he's already touched you and not changed, this should be okay right? You look back down at the movies. "You got any tacky horror movies? I love those things."

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 3:59 AM

"BPBFs...Best pirate buds forever. Kek." You smile and shoot her a finger pistol with your index and middle finger outstretched. Two was your gimick, think of it as a double barrel pistol wink or something. Bumping her paw digits with the fingers, you sit down next to her to think. "Oh hell yeah. The tacky ones are the best. So many of the modern ones are just way too fuckin serious. Gimmie that stupid schlock of dumb college kids summoning zombie devils anyday. We can take bets who gonna die next." Normally you'd recommend a drinking game of it but between bloodloss and her state probably not a good suggestion. "Got a few that have like a whole series. You know you got the good shit when you have like 6 sequals each shittier then the last. Can just que up and marathon."

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 7:59 AM

You laugh an nod, the bestest of pirate buds. "Honestly, and yeah, I can already vote for all of them. The blonde hair girl goes first." You look over the movie titles an think about his idea, "Yeah a marathon of these should be time killing enough huh? I'm up for that, you can choose which to marathon since I picked the genre." You float away from him and around the room, setting things up to make this biggest and most comfiest looking pillowfort in the world. You even go out quickly to get some dope halloween bat and spider lights, absolutely halloweenpimpping the place out. You have to take a moment, your head screaming at how much you've done to it today. You'll soon be at your limit for teleporting for the day, better save those for more important things. Like escaping. You nest into the pillows, churring and getting everything more fluffy and comfortable for the movie. "You got any drinks or popcorn for the movies?" You hum and float back towards Doze, setting down next to him, the pillow fort finished.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 3:26 PM

"Gonna suggest then hmm...critters marathon. Nothing like tiny lil monchy fuzzums from space. " You grin as you pull out some soda from the fridge and get some chips. "Way ahead of ya. Aint a movie night without the snackrifices." You give a nod of approval to the halloween decor and pillowfort. "Nice nice. Ultimate Spoopy comfy town up in here now." Sitting down, you use the remote to start up the first movie as you settle in close. At this point you were pretty confident that being close by was not going to change you.

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 5:49 PM

"Hell yeah to both of those." You settle down next to him and tug a blanket onto you lap, your tail swishing slowly as you smile and watch the movie. When you watch movies you tend to blank out the world around you, even when you move your self you don't really register it. So as the movie goes on and you two talk off and on you don't pick up your drowsiness. You don't even pick up when you lean on Doze, draw your knees in and wrap the blanket tighter around you, your eyes drifting closed. You nod off for a few seconds and blink yourself awake, there was some things you wanted to get off your chest before passing out. You turn towards Doze with a tired hum and smile softly, "I wanted to thank you, truly, out of that crazed state of mind. You didn't have to risk yourself to help me at all and the fact that you did really means a lot to me." You rub your good eye as your tail thumps softly against the pillows. "And in the car with the tatts, sayin you'd go down with me, all the time you've calmed me down. Being there for me when few to no others were.." You rub a hand through your hair, pausing a moment as sleep starts to tug at you again. "You mean a lot to me Doze, I'm lucky to have you around." Instinct hits you straight in the heart as you use your left hand to hold up half a diamonds with your pointer an middle finger, the classic morail sign, and you don't even register you do it. "You're a damn great dude.." You continue to sleepily ramble as you move your other hand off your face an look at him with a genuine smile.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 6:07 PM

This was nice. At this point you've become so used to the faint smell of candy that it doesn't even register. Just you and Jay, watching hokey movies. After a bit you realize her banter is slowing as she slowly starts to drift, and you don't bother to try to stop that. It's been a helluva day and fuck she probably could use fourty winks. Need that rest to recover, heal, and all that jazz. As she starts to talk, you tilt your head and give probably one of the rare smiles that isn't a wide grin or an amused smirk. "Ey. That's what I'm here for. We're innit to winnit. Better or worse. A daring duo. And as I said, rather go down trying to do somethin than wait for the kickback in Die's fuckin closet. Which, by the way...best hiding spot in the mansion. Kek." You note the hand gesture, and reach up to match it. "Pching! Could say the same for you. Well not the dude part. But yer amazing Jay. Through and through. Can't imagine the mansion or a world without'cha. Clover has my hearts but yer a sparkly diamond in my eyes." If the threat of candy dandification wasn't there, you'd prolly have given her forehead a kiss. Instead you just ruffle the back of her gummy soft hair with your free hand.

Plush (JS/MI)Today at 6:43 PM

You laugh softly, locking this moment, this memory in your mind. Something to recall when you need to. Your tail thumps quicker as he ruffles your hair an completely accepts your pale feelings and returns them too. Your worst day turned to the best day. You churr softly, and just like that, being around him, realizing and being the best damn pirate morails, your sugar high self dissipates. Leaving behind good old Jay, just way more tired this time. You smile genuinely at Doze as you snuggle against him as you start to drift off again, "Hmm I wouldn't want it any other way, damn diamonds for life.. Best fuckin morail to have." Your breathing steadies and slows as you fall asleep snuggled against Doze. Your last thoughts before slipping into dream world are quick, you are going do your damn hardest to keep Doze safe from this trickster mess, you are so ever happy to have a morail and one you connect with on so many levels, you.. you are happy actually happy for the first time in a long time. You fall asleep smiling and for the first time in 15 years you dream something calm and something happy.

Mabs (PI/02)Today at 6:54 PM

You blink, as the sugar disspates and sitting next to you is the familiar Jay you know and adore. "Same. Same here. Besties for the resties of our lives." You lean over to gently kiss the top of her now normal head.

"You get some rest. I'll keep an eye and ear out for trouble..." You say as you gently pet her head while she drifts off to sleep. Despite all the shit going down, you can't help but feel...pretty dang good. Cause heck, this will all blow over eventually. For now, in the tiny little room in the nowhere land, things are alright. And that's all you needed for now.

#Discord rp #rp thread #story post #Status Update #Jay #Doze #(( UHH NEVER DONE THIS B4 ))#sugar fall and morailegence #dozenuts #atomicbark

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weirdssbfanfics · 7 years ago

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Reading: Subpar Smush Broas Mishan Forum God 2: The REEL Sekwel! LAUREN U R DUM (Chapter Seven)

... We’re back. Almost three years later, we have a new reading ready of Despair Smash’s sequel.

To be completely fair, I was asleep the whole time.

Summary: Aftar escap frum Lauren and Katey and Mattel Fase Sara entars a jost.

... I’ve been gone for so long I forgot how to read this.

TW for rape mention, animal death.

Now, a word on the author. We here at WSSBF are well aware that “Sara” is a troll, and this is supposed to make fun of conservatives and Christians. However, we will continue this as if this was serious. Why?

Because it’s more fun, that’s why. Come on, we’ve been away for two and a half years, please let us have this one.

Also, we’ve been away for so long, that we don’t remember a ton of the characters... So that’ll be fun.

Notes: I c Obema is stil payen libruls 2 insalt my storey. Wuts wors is taht alota tham r foreners so Epona isant evan crating Amurican jibs by doen this (nut taht Obaba lieks maekin Amerken joebs becuz he gets rad of them with his hi texas on teh job craters liek my dad and also wtih job-killen regalatons).

... This was funnier before the 2016 election actually. I mean, I’m a fictional character so what do I know, but I do use the internet a lot. Farce is becoming reality and I don’t like it.

So aneyway I wantad my mom 2 let me stay hoem agen so i cold watch moar gam of throns (off coarse I didant tel her im watchen that becuz my parants dont want me 2 wach that), butt she mad me goto skool. My mom iz so meen! Butt aneyway this tim i wuz watchen and teh gay guy who wantad 2 be keen is ded now. He wuz kill by his brothar Stains and a red-hared ladey. I remamber heerin a lon tim ago that teh vershan of Christenaty they hav in Briten is caled teh Chirch off Inglend. I gess in teh chirch off Engold tehy cal God "Rylor" becuz thats wut the red-hared ladey keeped callen him. And than teh gay guys brothar tred 2 be keen and I wantad him 2 win becuz he kild the gay guy and wuz a Christen (even if he wuz teh Britash vershun of Christen witches a litol weerd) butt than he lose a big batol at teh and of sesan 2. Butt hes stil aliv so maybee he can be keen latur. Thats ho far i am rite now.

I’m gonna be completely honest with you, I neither know about nor care about Game of Thrones, so that entire paragraph would be gibberish even without the spelling errors.

Im getin board focasin on pepol otter than me in this storey nao so Im goen bak 2 me and hopfully i no enuff abot Briten now (and ill still wach the rest of Gaem off Throns so my naxt chaptars in Briten wil be evan moor akurat)

Oh, I forgot she thinks Britain is like Game of Thrones. I wonder if she thinks Lord of the Rings is a historical drama, too.

And with that, let’s begin.

CHAP 7: SARA ENTARS A JOST

Aftar I runned awey frum Lauren and Kayti and Motel Fave I fond I wuz lost in Briten. I sneeked thro a feald were pheasants wer picken craps becuz tehy wer 2 lazey 2 be nobels.

You got that wrong!

... Let me have this one, I haven’t done this in literal years.

Anyways, the history behind why nobles are nobles is complicated to say the least, but it certainly was not because they were lazy. In fact, these guys probably worked harder than Sara ever has in her life. So... yeah.

You can tell I haven’t done this in a while.

Sumwher in the feld I gotted turd arond and startad walken bak teh way i cum butt i didant no that until i wuz bak in Keens Landen, teh crapital of Briten. Wen I gotted ther i sawed a sine taht sed "Bluddy jost 2day 2 win a bluddy trip 2 Harey Potars skool u wankars." I desided ifi entared the jost and winned Id get 2 go2 Harey Potars skool and kill him so he coldnt teech Lauren moar majek to tune me in2 a lesban. Butt than i sawed the rools and onely nites cold entar the jost and gurls coldnt bee nites. "Ono!" I sed 2 miself.

So I was curious about this, so I Googled it, and apparently in the Middle Ages, there is some historical proof that women could be knights. Now, not sure if a 13 year old could be a knight... and wouldn’t Sara want a guy to fight for her? In her eyes, women who dress up as guys are “lesbans”, after all, so using her “logic”, wouldn’t she become the very thing she hates.

She who fights monsters... I forgot.

"Nead sum halp?" I hurd a Britash guy sed. I turnd arond and sawed it wuz Stanos frum Gaem of Throns!

I wonder how many Infinity Stones he has...

"Hi Stanass how did u no i wuz hear" I sed. "Teh red-hared ladey can see the futur by luken in fiar" Stains sed. Tahts on of the powars of teh Chirch of Eenland. I wondar if thats alos how Sholk can c tha futur. "So u no I want 2 entar the jost" I sed. "Ya and I brot sum armoire so noone wil no ur a gurl. And alos i brotted a hoarse becuz u well ned on of thos in teh jost" sed Santos. So Stinass gived me teh stuf and leev. I putted on teh armar and gotted on tha hoarse. I rided 2 wer the jost wuz. "'ello guvnuh this is were teh bluddy jost is" sed teh persan at teh gaet "wut iz ur bluddy naem." I new I had 2 cum up with a Britash naem and it had 2 bee a guy naem or eels they wodant let me in the jost. "My naem is Sur Jaems of Hose Bond" I sed.

I would’ve gone with Sir Alex of House Rider.

"That is a very bluddy Britash naem butt ur vois dosant sond Britash" sed tha gaet persan. I new I had 2 do moor 2 prov I wuz Britash. "Im vary bluddy Britash u wankar!" I sed. "Ok i gess u r bluddy Britash" sed gaet persan.

And they didn’t notice your presumably high pitched voice how, exactly?

So I rided my hoarse in2 teh jost plase. I gotted a speer and startad riden my hoarse at a nite who wuz on his hoarse with a speer 2. I nevar wuz in a jost b4 so i wuz afeared that teh nite wuz betar then me. So i put awey teh speer and goted ot my gun. The nite wuz weerin amour so teh ballots coldnt hurt him so I shat his hoarse and the hoarse dyed and the nite felled of. I wan teh furst jost. No1 in teh awdians new wut my gun wuz so they didant no I cheeted and I gotted 2 go2 teh naxt rond. In teh next rond i wuz agenst anotter nite and i shat his hoarse 2 win 2. Than I did teh saem 4 a few moar ronds until teh final jost of teh tornymant. I gotted reedy to rid agenst my oponant butt wen I tred 2 shat his hoarse I wuz outa ballets!!! The last nite hitted me with his speer and i felled of my hoarse and lose teh jost (c Im not a marey su ifi lose sum tims).

Okay, I didn’t want to do this more than once, but I guess I have to.

You got that wrong!

First off, this blatantly contradicts the first story, where she said that the British military had muskets, which is, in fact, a type of gun! Secondly, jousting was a game of sport, not a game of murder. And third of all, even if you do lose, you are what people would consider a Mary Sue, because when you do get in trouble after losing, it gets resolved in three paragraphs or less!

Wen I felled of my hoarse my hellmat felled of my hed and everone sawed I wuz a gurl. Tehn Lauren stud up becuz she wuz in teh awdians. "Hey I no who taht is! Shes Sara and I wanna rap her!" Lauren sed.

Ah, I was wondering when we’d get that good old fashioned Rap. Also, everyone in the audience is an idiot.

She jump ot of awdians and run tords me butt I get bak on my hoarse and rid awey becuz I coldnt run fats in my armoire. Butthan Lauren taked the hoarse frum anotter nite and startad riden aftar me. I wuz shur i wold be domed! We rided arond Keens Landen on r hoarses and her hoarse seem 2 be fastar and i wuz ot of ballets so i coldnt shit her. Than sudanly Matel Fase flyed don in frant of me and grabed my hoarse with his claws and kild it and i felled on teh grond agen. Lauren gotted of her hoarse and grab me.

Serious question for a second, is Matel Fase supposed to be Master Hand? I think it is...

"Now im gona taek u 2 teh dunjun until im reedy 4 me and Kaytee 2 rap u!" So i wuz putin teh dunjun of teh palas. Ho wud i get ot of thes on?!

Now I remember why I haven’t touched this blog in over a year, and this fic specifically in two and a half... I’m going to need another long nap.

Overall Thoughts:

What do you think.

Thank every single one of you for reading this. I know we’ve been away for a long time, but I promise, me, Sonia, Kirigiri, and Mage can officially say:

We’re back!

Thanks for reading.

*Nanami*

#super smash bros #super smash brothers brawl #sm4sh #bad fanfiction #badfic #everything hurts #no concept of grammar #despair smash 2 #nanami

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kitliveblogs · 8 years ago

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so this is basically a long-ass rant disguised as a review of Little Mermaid II that I originally posted on a different blog. maybe someday I'll actually get back to that blog, but for right now the theme is broken and I can't read anything on it anymore.

so for now, this will live right here instead c:

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Everyone's already taken their shots at the notoriously bad Disney sequels made in the late 90s and early 2000s. They're basically a walking punch line just by existing. But really, not all of them are completely worthless, and a couple of them are even pretty enjoyable, in a hilarious "I can't believe they actually made this" sort of way.

But I'm here to talk about only the most heinous of cinematic disasters. And let me make one thing perfectly clear: this isn't just Kit being a bitter and cranky old fogy with a chip on her shoulder because the shitty sequel ruined her childhood. I mean, I am bitter and cranky, but The Little Mermaid II couldn't possibly lower my opinion of the original -- there's not really anything lower than rock bottom. (yeah I hate The Little Mermaid fight me)

This movie is just flat out that bad.

word count: 3070

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I'm just gonna get one thing out of the way right now: nothing about this movie frustrates me more than the cast. This cast is made up of particularly well-known voice actors, and it's heartbreaking that they all got wrangled into doing this shit. Jodi Benson (Ariel), Samuel E. Wright (Sebastian), Kenneth Mars (King Triton), and Buddy Hackett (Scuttle) all return to reprise their roles from the first movie, and Pat Carroll who played Ursula is here to play Morgana, the main villain and Ursula's conveniently-never-before-mentioned sister. Yeah. They're doing that. And on top of getting so much of the original cast, they also roped in:

Rob Paulsen (Eric)

Tara Strong (Melody)

Clancy Brown (Undertow)

Cam Clarke (Flounder)

Rene freaking Auberjonois as Chef Louis

and one my favorite VAs Stephen Furst as Dash, one half of the Timon and Pumbaa knock-offs for the film.

When just looking at the cast list pisses me off this much... I don't think this is going to be much fun.

A quick recap for those who have been living under a rock since the late 70s: The Little Mermaid is the story of Ariel, daughter of the ruler of Atlantica, who at the completely world-wise age of 16 decides she's had enough of life under the sea and wants to live with the humans on land. She turns to the sea-witch Ursula for help, and in exchange for her voice is given a pair of legs and a deadline: kiss the man of her dreams within three days or join the shriveled legion of Ursula's previous victims. Naturally the witch doesn't play fair and Ariel fails, and King Triton offers himself in exchange for his daughter, thus sacrificing his washboard abs and obscenely powerful trident to Ursula. One climactic battle later, Ursula's dead, Triton turns Ariel into a human, and she and Prince Eric live happily ever after.

Until the sequel, of course, where Ariel and Eric have a baby girl, Melody, which makes me question the exact biology of this bizarre offspring. I mean just look at this thing:

She was just born but she's got a full head of hair and disturbingly large blue eyes. It's freakish. But anyway, this is where movie number 2 begins.

And we're off to a good start: smacked in the face with a terrible music number. I would say get used to those, but there aren't really enough in the movie to warrant it -- which is pretty bad when you consider this is supposed to be a musical. Also, "listen to Ariel's Melody"? That's... wow. I can't even say that's cute in a sarcastic way that's just terrible.

But oh no! The party is interrupted by Morgana, who is, as Sebastian so eloquently puts it:

Oh good. I can see we'll be dealing with truly ingenious writing here.

So after stealing the baby Melody, ranting and raving about being better than her sister Ursula, and attempting to feed the baby to a shark (all while Ariel, Eric, and Triton stand there doing absolutely nothing), Morgana flees to the arctic. Wait, the arctic? Well, alright, you need to escape pursuit to a barren wasteland, that's fair. I won't linger on this for now, as the geography problems will get a lot worse later.

One of the main MacGuffins of the movie is a gold locket with Melody's name inscribed on it, that projects an image of Atlantica and plays a lullaby when opened. King Triton was giving it to the baby before Morgana came onto the scene, and after failing to find her in a massive search of the sea, Triton drops it in the water and leaves. This strikes me as odd. Wouldn't you want to hang onto it? As a keepsake of your family? Or at the very least dispose of it more properly, just in case Melody might one day, oh I dunno, find it and realize her mother and father had been lying to her her entire life? Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Fast forward 12 years. A giant wall has been built on the shore to keep Melody and the ocean apart, but being a tenacious kid she naturally figured out a way around it. Or rather, under it. Which raises the question: if this child could figure out a way out, why couldn't Morgana figure a way in? It would have been a simple matter to slip under the wall, scale the outside of the tower with her suction cup-riddled tentacles, and kidnap the baby to hold for ransom. Why was it so imperative to wait until Melody found the locket before enacting her plan to steal the trident?

Oh, yeah, that thing I mentioned before about her finding it? Lo and behold, she discovered the damn thing on one of her jaunts to collect seashells (which are comically huge by the way). If only Triton had done literally anything else with it, this whole mess might have been avoided.

But no time to worry about that now; there's a birthday party to attend!

Through a convoluted mess of trying to hide her seashells and pretend she'd been in her room the entire time, Melody accidentally ties Sebastian into the dorky bow on the back of her party dress. I'm sure this will have no consequences down the line at all--

Huh. Didn't see that one coming. This leads to a ridiculous scene of Chef Louis chasing Sebastian around the ballroom like some sort of crazed lunatic. I know this was a thing from the first movie, but this guy is out of his fucking gourd; why do they keep him around? Ultimately, Melody runs off to her room out of embarrassment.

I really don't want to linger on anything for too long since this movie doesn't deserve that much energy, but there's two things about this scene I need to address. One: so basically if Sebastian had just remained calm and waited it out... none of this would have happened? I think the blame for this one falls on him. And two: why the hell are all these other children making fun of Melody? I know she's ~weird~ and all, but she's the freaking princess. Don't you think they'd know better than exclude the princess of the entire kingdom? I would want to stay on her good side is all I'm saying.

Anyway. Melody finally takes a good look at the locket and realizes something's up, confronting her mother about Atlantica. Okay, Ariel, here's your chance. If you just explain the situation, she'll understand and maybe you could even take her to Atlantica under heavy guard or something so she can finally meet her damn grandfather.

Or you could just get mad. Getting mad is good too.

Naturally after that Melody decides to take off, rowing a rather conveniently placed boat out to sea to try and figure it all out for herself. While she meets Undertow and agrees to follow him to Morgana, Sebastian is back at the castle psyching himself up to tell Ariel that Melody ran away.

WAIT. YOU DIDN'T KNOW? IT'S BEEN TWELVE YEARS AND YOU HAD NO IDEA SEBASTIAN WAS KEEPING AN EYE ON MELODY??

So in the end, a) Ariel is the least observant person in the world, b) Sebastian never��once told her about Melody's excursions beyond the wall (remember that for later), and c) Triton didn't bother to let Ariel know he'd assigned Sebastian the job, continuing the family cycle of not communicating with each other. In hindsight all this bullshit family drama isn't that surprising.

Back to Melody and Morgana (yes, somehow Undertow and the manta ray minions hauled the boat to the arctic in just a couple of hours), Morgana is doing what she does best: whining about Ursula. Honey, I don't think your mother favored her because she was the oldest; I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that Ursula was actually competent and managed to accomplish her goals. Plus her magic is clearly more powerful than yours, since you have to use one of her potions to turn Melody into a mermaid.

OH MY GOD A SONG. I forgot this movie was supposed to have those. It's an upbeat little tune about learning to swim with her new tail, which quickly evolves into a duet with her mother and finding their "worlds:" Melody finding a place she belongs underwater, and Ariel keeping Melody safe. It's boring, but at least Tara Strong can sing well, and Jodi Benson can still belt it out like she could twenty years ago.

Morgana tells Melody that the spell will only last for two days, and that in order to make it permanent, she'll need the "powerful trident that was stolen from her." I'm sure you're as shocked as I was when it was revealed that she didn't just want a puppy and someone to make her pie. So off Melody goes with naught but determination and a map carved into a block of ice. Wait. That seems... poorly designed.

There aren't even words on it. Now I'm no cartographer, but that seems like a pretty major flaw for a map.

Meanwhile, Ariel has joined the search for Melody as a mermaid again, because apparently, according to Eric, "You should go. You know these waters -- and you know our daughter." Um. I'm not even sure where to begin with that one. Let's just say I agree with half that statement; I'll give you one guess which half.

Back in the arctic-- Stop. Okay look. I liked Timon and Pumbaa well enough. Timon had his moments of obnoxiousness, but Nathan Lane was likable enough to always bring it back, and Pumbaa is still my favorite character from The Lion King. But lemme tell ya, I HATE what Timon and Pumbaa did to Disney for a while. They wanted quirky, amiable sidekicks that would keep the kids entertained and distract from the lion sex happening in the background. I can understand that. But when every kid walked away singing Hakuna Matata and the Disney execs realized what they'd stumbled on, every movie afterward that was bound to fail miserably tried to shoehorn in a pair that would have the same appeal to sell more merch. Timon and Pumbaa themselves wound up with their own movie and a SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON SHOW. YEAH. THAT REALLY HAPPENED.

Why do I bring it up? Do you really have to ask?

Meet Tip and Dash, your knock-offs for the evening.

They are, as they put it, "adventurers slash explorers." That might have actually been a good way of setting them apart from the lackadaisical Timon and Pumbaa -- except that in their very first scene they attempt to save a baby penguin from a shark and completely botch the whole thing by being complete cowards. And then when the penguin family gets upset and berates them for their piss-poor job, the movie has the audacity to frame this like we should feel sorry for them. Movie, I refuse to sympathize with them when all the criticism against them is CORRECT. Also sharks don't live in the arctic. Neither do walruses. Just throwing that out there.

From there they bump into Melody, and she convinces them to take her to Atlantica, since Morgana was an idiot for carving the map into an easily-breakable piece of ice. By the way, for the record, Dash is the only likable character in this entire movie, but even then that's not saying much when you consider I'm biased because of his VA. He's the one that actually agrees to help Melody because she's "a damsel in distress," and doesn't care that she's actually a human-turned-mermaid. Come to think of it, this could have been a really good analogy for trans youth, but that probably would have been way too complicated a subject for a shitty Disney sequel.

Also I was gonna skip this part but it's stuck in my head so I'd like to introduce you to the CATCHIEST AND MOST OBNOXIOUS SONG IN ANY MOVIE EVER. Like damn! That would be an accomplishment if it wasn't so terrible. And I'm not exaggerating; I'm completely immune to It's A Small World, but THIS? This garbage sticks to me like glue. (and if you decided to skip the song you now have It's A Small World in your head so either way you have to SUFFER WITH ME)

Ahem. Moving on.

The Three Stooges here finally make it to Atlantica, just barely missing Ariel, Triton, and Flounder going the other way. Flounder, in the past twelve years, has had about five annoying kids and developed a dad belly. It's not really relevant to anything but it's just hilarious to me that even fish can have dad bellies. But there's only a half hour of this turd left, so let's keep chugging along.

On their way into the palace they bump into a piece of-- what? Fish jailbait? Jail fish bait? Eh, whatever. THEY BUMP INTO THIS KID:

Yes, as a matter of fact it was. Even though Atlantica is clearly in tropical waters. Starfish, sea urchins, and crabs all live in tropical waters, whereas penguins live in colder climates. This geography is seriously messed up. I don't think anyone on the creative team even bothered to so much as glance at a map while making this -- which would also explain the terrible ice map, I suppose.

Melody swipes the trident and heads back to Morgana's lair. Cloak and Dagger, the two manta ray minions (I know, subtle), follow behind, and Ariel catches sight of them. She and Flounder in turn follow them, discovering the witch's hiding place in the arctic. Personally my first thought was "So, we've looked everywhere actually means except there because it's cold as balls and nobody wanted to?" but Ariel's a bit more focused than I was by this point.

Ariel tries to send Flounder back, to let Triton know where they are, but Flounder, being an idiot, says he won't let her go in there alone. DUDE. GO GET HELP. Who does, in fact, go to get help? Why Scuttle, of course!

And it's all your fault, bro.

Ariel rushes in in the nick of time to stop Melody from handing over the trident, but naturally the two of them get into the argument that puts the final nail in coffin. Melody actually says "You knew how much I loved the sea!" but I'd like to refer you back to the facts. Melody and Ariel never had an honest and open conversation about, well, anything. The closest evidence we have to support this statement is that Melody thought Atlantica was just an old fish tale, which means at some point Ariel told her stories about it and the mermaids. Otherwise there's just genetics: your mother's a mermaid so you must love the sea too. That's an awfully big leap. And there's the fact that Sebastian never told Ariel about Melody's adventures outside the wall. She had zero idea about any of it. So how could she have possibly known how much Melody loved the ocean, outside of sheer guesswork?

Oh, but "you know our daughter." Well if you SAY it it MUST be true!

By the by, Melody's little realization here of "I have made a horrible mistake" when she gives Morgana the trident is just priceless.

De-licious.

Finally we've reached the big battle. Morgana builds herself a big fuck-off tower of ice, and we're ready for action.

Scuttle, in a rare moment of non-stupidity, comes soaring in, tailed by Prince Eric's ship. Before blasting it to pieces Morgana asks, "Come to join the party?" and I have to agree; where the hell have you been for the last 40 minutes, anyway, Eric? ALSO

And I present you the only funny line in the movie:

...If it feels like I'm rushing through this it's only because I am.

After getting the trident, Morgana had sealed Melody and Flounder into an ice cavern. Unfortunately for her, Melody's two days are now up, and she turns back into a human in a chamber full of water. Tip and Dash rush in to save her, and come face-to-face with a full-sized Undertow. Through a not-at-all suspenseful sequence of the shark chasing them around, they manage to trick him into ramming the ice wall trapping Melody and Flounder, and get her back up to the surface. Where she just. wakes up. No coughing water or dizziness or trouble breathing. NOPE. Her eyes open as soon as she hits air and she's good to go.

Disney: showing the lighter side of almost drowning.

As Morgana fulfills her power fantasy of getting everyone to bow down to her and shrieking "WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE NOW, MA" (yeah I'm pretty sure it's still Ursula), Melody scales the ice tower in an attempt to retrieve the trident. If nothing else, this movie shows a very inaccurate portrayal of trying to walk on ice. Unsurprisingly, Melody succeeds and tosses the trident back to Triton, who seals Morgana in a block of ice to rest forever at the bottom of the sea.

So Ursula was literally stabbed through the chest with an entire boat and died but Morgana gets punked out in a block of ice? Weak.

The family reconciles, Melody takes the whole "grandfather" thing a little too well, and the movie ends with them tearing down the wall so the humans and merpeople can interact freely from now on.

I only have two questions before I finally shut up about this stupid stupid movie:

1. So does the whole kingdom just sort of take it in stride that a) merpeople exist and b) the prince married one? 2. How can a movie that's only an hour and ten minutes long sans credits feel SO MUCH LONGER

This whole thing was ridiculous from the jump. Who was demanding a sequel to the Little Mermaid of all freaking things? Who really wanted to see sequels to any of the movies from the Disney Renaissance? And there are quite a few of them. Like I said, some of them can be pretty enjoyable if you like cheesiness. But most of them are just terrible like this one, and if you're wondering whether you'll be seeing more of the Dark Age of Disney, don't worry. Their days will come.

#feel totally free to ignore this honestly c:#watching: Little Mermaid II

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roxywashere · 6 years ago

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Witch Activity

FursTech employee Noelle combats corporate espionage

It had started just like any other day. Most days started like any other day. Noelle rode the train to work, from Kenosha to the heart of the Danesville Metropolis. She walked from the station to the coffee shop she regularly bought breakfast at, reading the overnight news on her phone all the while. She bought a breakfast bagel sandwich and coffee, and ate it while she proceeded to her job at the FursTech building.

She worked on the 255th floor, a kilometer up. The first elevator only went to floor 150, so she transferred to the second elevator, which took her to floor 250, and instead of transferring to another elevator she took the stairs the remaining 5 floors. She scanned her Employee ID at the door out of the stairwell, and entered the FursTech national development lab.

Noelle was a hardware developer for the largest technology company in America. She was currently the lead on a new phone project, the most ambitious device the company has ever made. Her team was one of the most secretive groups in the company, surpassed only by the CEO’s personal projects.

No materials were allowed to leave the floor, and designs were only allowed on permanently installed computer consoles and their associated machining booths. This project was the most top of corporate secrets.

When Noelle arrived, CEO Aradia Furst was standing at the project station, examining the team's progress. Aradia, despite being a world famous technologist and inventor, was also widely known to be both a pagan witch and a christian sorceress. Instead of shunning this conception about her, she embraced it, and always dressed the part. She was rarely seen not dressed in long, flowing dresses or robes, exclusively colored black and gold. The phone Noelle was working on, the Pendant, was an endeavor by Aradia to bring simple, functional magic to the commonperson on the street, so it may be integrated into modern culture and the stigma around its use dispelled.

“How is the Pendant coming along, in your opinion?” Aradia asked as soon as she sensed Noelle arrive.

“It’s coming along very good, I think,” Noelle answered. “I think I’ve finally figured out the best materials to infuse to give the most user friendly experience. I’ve got a list drawn up...” Noelle, as a high-ranking FursTech engineer, had been given personal magic lessons by Aradia herself. She used her moderate amount of training to summon a hologram from the project console, showing the list of materials with an awkward contortion of her hand.

Aradia examined it for half a second before commenting. “With some substitutions, it’ll be unparalleled.” She expertly altered the list, replacing a number of archaic components with purer modern equivalents. “There. One last prototype and test, and I think we’re ready for the production model.”

“Yes, definitely. I can't wait for this to finally get into the hands of the software team. This will give us a big leg up on the Tokyo Workshop.”

“Speaking of...” Aradia dispelled the holograms. “The Workshop has a number of mahou in the city ‘on business’, so be extra cautious of espionage this week. I know for a fact that somebody on this floor leaked preliminary info on the Pendant, and that damned kitsune running the Workshop would literally kill for the designs for so compact a spell base. At the very least, brush up on your defensive and summoning spells before the next time you leave the building. If they ambush you, don’t be afraid to summon me to protect you.”

“Yes, of course.”

Aradia left, and Noelle got to work assembling the prototype with Aradia’s substitutions. She had a fully functional phone in her hand by the time she had eaten lunch.

It of course wouldn't be equipped with any offensive spells by default, but it had a number of defensive and utility spells built-in, with room for software devs to program more. Noelle and another member of the team took turns casting increasingly powerful spells of varying types against it, to test its capabilities.

An average citizen would be able to protect themselves not only against the average witch, but more mundane threats, like a mugger with a knife or gun, and be able to call for help for any more substantial threat. It would change the world, for the better.

After the day had ended, Noelle handed the phone over to the software team to begin developing the final version of the OS and program the full suite of spells. Noelle walked to the train station, careful to stay on well-lit streets, her focus completely on her surroundings. She boarded the train, picking a seat at the very front where she could see every passenger and through every car.

But she never truly expected the japanese coven to be so bold as to attack her in public.

Noelle only barely managed to get a ward up before an arcane bolt struck her, pushing her into the wall behind her and denting the panelling. She was in a daze as the three elegantly dressed mahou approached her, and cast an immobilization spell upon her. The tallest of the three hoisted Noelle over her shoulder, and then they cast a teleportation spell.

They sat Noelle in a chair, in a small dark room. Without any decorum, they immediately started casting painful spells upon her, in an attempt to forcefully pry her mind open to be read.

After a few fruitless minutes of this, they started conversing in japanese, in frustrated tones. While they were briefly distracted by their argument, Noelle hastily and quietly muttered a summoning incantation, only barely finishing it before one of the mahou caught her lips moving silently.

“Stop!” The shortest said, in a thick accent.

Noelle, through the thick mental haze of the pain she had been experiencing, smiled.

The shortest of the mahou approached Noelle, hand out to slap her, but froze suddenly. Aradia stepped out of the darkness, contorting her hands rapidly, effortlessly counterspelling every one of the other two mahou’s panicked spells and counterspells. Aradia, with a flick of her wrist, sent all three mahou collapsing to the floor. Aradia picked Noelle up in her arms, and cast a portal back to FursTech.

She gently set Noelle down on the altar in her private labratory, and cast a slow but powerful healing spell upon her.

Once she was certain Noelle had been stabilized and numbed, she returned to the dark room, and bound the mahou in a magic silk string. She strung them up from the ceiling, like a spider hanging it’s future meals from it’s web for safekeeping.

When she had fully fortified the containment spell, she woke the mahou up, and told them “I’m going to have a word with that damned kitsune.”

Aradia cast a communication spell, summoning a full hologram of the fox-devil before her.

The kitsune was tall, with black hair and ear-fur, and eight night-black tails. Her black yukata was trimmed with gold and silver, and tied with a red silk belt.

“Still working on your ninth tail, I see,” Aradia started.

“<I refuse to converse in your barbarous language,>” the fox-devil replied in Jōdai Nihon-go, an ancient form of Japanese.

“<So be it.>” Aradia returned in the same language. “<Your underlings have gravely wounded my favourite apprentice.>”

“<And what are you going to do about it?>”

“<I demand reparation.>”

“<As if you ply such influence over me.>”

Aradia reached out to grab the hologram by the throat, and the fox-devil jumped back instinctively to avoid it.

“<You say that, yet you still fear the unknown boundaries of my power,>” Aradia observed. “<Send me one of your apprentices and I'll release these three, and not further pursue you for this slight.>”

“<Keep the little one. She has potential but is too irksome to teach. I don't want her anymore.>”

“Sensei!” the short mahou cried, hearing her master’s dismissal of her.

“<As you wish,>” Aradia said. With a snip of her fingers, she cut the silk the other two were hung by, dropping them through trapdoor portals to the Tokyo Workshop. She seized the short mahou’s string, and they dropped together through a portal to her laboratory. Noelle, already awake, greeted them.

“Thank you, Miss Furst,” Noelle said, “I would have been a goner without you.”

“It was nothing. Help me unbind this mahou. That damn kitsune has ‘reparated’ for the attack on you by pawning off one of her disciples.”

“What are we going to do with her?” Noelle asked, cutting through the magic silk around the very young-looking japanese witch.

“We must treat this girl as one of our own, and show her a kindness that the fox-devil likely never did. That will be our true revenge.”

“Does she speak english?”

They both paused and stared at the girl. After a long moment of not being answered, they continued with their conversation.

“She likely doesn’t,” Aradia posited, “but we should remain tight-lipped around her just in case.”

They finished stripping her of the magic silk, and Aradia held out her hand to help the girl up. She cautiously took it.

“<What is your name?>” Aradia asked.

“Sakura Hina,” she answered.

“<Welcome to my laboratory, Hina-san. This is Noelle, and you may call me Furst-sensei, or just Aradia if you feel comfortable abandoning honorifics. How long did you train under the Kitsune?>”

“<Two years.>”

“<Then you must be quite skilled. Niponese Hermetic, primarily, I assume?>”

Hina nodded.

“<Do you know what my school of expertise is?>”

“<Kitsune-Hime told me you were you were dangerously skilled in all of the western arts...>”

Aradia took note of the fact that Hina had just called her former master a princess. “<My expertise is in the fact that I am multidisciplinarian. My grandfather may have been a more powerful sorcerer, and my mother a more powerful witch, but I am powerful enough at both and many other magics to have eclipsed them. I wish to bestow upon you as much of my skill as I can, as I have with Noelle.>”

“<Thank you... Furst-sensei.>”

“<Now, let’s get to work.>”

#short story #writing #superhero #magical girl #Astraverse

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