#The SVU squad gets a front row seat to it

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You're Drunk

Alrighty this chapter of Dating App pretty much wrote itself! I really enjoyed writing it so I hope you all enjoy reading it. There is a several week timeskip and this is also where the timeline fuckery happens. Pease ignore everything about why Carisi is around so early cause I kinda of forgot that I wanted to rewrite some scenes from the earlier seasons before Carisi is in it, but like...I love Carisi and I have other plans so.....Timey Whimey wibbley wobbley stuff begins.

Also pretty sure this is my longest chapter think it is like 6000 words.

Let me know if there is anything in particular you would like to see in this series. Like an episode of the show with her put in it or just something random. Also let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this.

Warnings: Drinking, talk of sex, sexual implications, teasing, drunk conversations. I think that is it, if I missed something let me know.

Master List

Prompt List

Chapter List: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10

Tag list: @pear-1206

“That is the fourth time you have checked your phone in the past two hours,” Lily pouted as she placed drinks on the table, Shannon and Courtney trailing behind her each carrying a cocktail and a shot. The four of you had made plans to go out for drinks the next time your schedules all aligned. Shannon and Courtney desperately wanted all the details on you and Rafael. The last time you able to catch up it hadn’t been the time to discuss such details. You friends were gossips but they thankfully understood that there was a time and place for such conversations, like drinking at a bar.

“I know, I’m sorry,” you quickly shoved your phone back into your pocket. “Rafael had a tough day in court, Liv said the team was taking him out for drinks since we already had these plans.”

“Aw, and you’re worried about him,” Shannon cooed, she was a little further gone than the rest of the group, she was smaller and had a lower tolerance. “When do we get to meet him?”  

“Soon, I promise,” you smiled. “I just-”

“Wanna keep all that deliciousness for yourself?” Courtney asked wiggling her eyebrows.

“Did she tell you two about how he got on his knees to take off her shoes?” Lily grinned. The other two both gasped, nearly shouting no as they turned to you expectantly.

“Lily!” you groaned, giggling a little. You were going to tell them. Just after a few more drinks.

“Take your shot and tell us!” Shannon bounced. “Come on.” You all picked up the mystery shot Lily had brought over, you thought it would be best to never know what was in the things she brought. A little like the cocktails Lily made when you all last got drunk together and you ended up downloading the dating app. You shook your head and knocked back the shot coughing a little when the strong burst of alcohol hit your throat.

“Alright, geeze,” you nodded, sipping your cocktail. The other three leaned in close, even Lily who you had told before, there were benefits to working with your best friend. You kept the details limited, not telling them everything but you painted the scene perfectly. You all finished your drinks and ordered another during the time it took for you to fill in your friends on not only your first time but near about everything that happened since.

“Damn girl!” Shannon sighed, pushing her long red hair over a shoulder. “You lucked out with this man. I don’t think my first time ended in spectacular orgasms.”

“I mean, mine did but that was just because I was with a woman for my first time,” Courtney grinned. “And when I finally slept with a man, I was assertive in what pleased me but still wasn’t great.”

“Yeah, it took maybe my third boyfriend before I started being able to orgasm with a man,” Lily agreed.

“Oh,” you tilted your head biting your lip. “I’m never letting him go then. I mean orgasms are great by myself but with Rafi, they’re something else.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shannon playfully shoved you. “Keep bragging.”

“As if you three can talk,” you wagged your finger at them. “I had to hear all about your sexual exploits. I’m totally bragging about how he made me orgasms several times before he fucked me.”

The four of you burst into a fit of giggles before you all cheered and took another round of shots and moved onto other topics of conversation throughout the night. It had been a few hours since the night started, more rounds of shots had happened and bowls of fries, pizzas and other table snacks had been consumed to at least attempt to soak up some of the drinks. Your phone buzzed against the table, the screen lighting up with a picture of Rafael that you had taken when he wasn’t looking. His contact’s name visible for the world to see ‘Sexy Lawyer’, you hadn’t changed it since he put his number in it.

“Ooh, it’s mister magical fingers!” Courtney oohed as you picked it up.

“Hush,” you waved for your friends to be silent. “Hey babe.”

“…Chica,” Rafael sounded a little confused before he chuckled a little. “Are you still with your friends?”

“Ask him if he has any single friends that are as good in bed as he is,” Shannon tugged on your arm.

“Shh!” Lily whispered. “You’ll make her turn on her librarian voice. It’s scary.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Rafael’s amused voice called your attention again.

“Yep, are you? Ooh!” your attention taken again. “Is Liv there? And Amanda? Do they wanna come and join us girls?”

“No invite for me? I see how it is,” Rafael feigned offense.

“We’re having girl talk and a girl’s night,��� you waved your hand around. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Oh Chica,” Rafael’s soothing voice cooed through the phone at you. “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Duh, we’ve been drinking for…a few hours by now,” you rolled your eyes.

“Wait, the whole team can come!” Lily interrupted. “That way you can meet the rest of his friends, we can meet him and his friends. Win-win.”

“Ooh yes!” Shannon agreed, with Courtney nodding beside her. You could hear Rafael chuckling in the background, it was slightly muffled and you could hear other voices, one that sounded a little like Liv.

“Rafi,” you whined, pouting a little when he didn’t respond straight away. “Rafi…are you coming?” You forgot you hadn’t actually asked if he and the team wanted to join you and your friends but after Lily’s suggestion it sounded perfect and all you wanted was to cuddle with Rafael. Your friends sniggered, taking your words in a much different context to what you had meant them to be.  

“Now I’m invited, am I?” Rafael’s voice finally answered you. “I don’t know, you didn’t seem keen at first.”

“Rafi, don’t tease,” you continued to pout. “Will you please come and join us? Liv and the team as well?”

“Ask nicely, Chica,” Rafael was enjoying this far too much. He didn’t realise that when you were drunk you had very little filter.

“Oh please, please, Rafi,” you lowered your voice only slightly, your tone slipping into the tone you used when begging Rafael to let you cum. “Please come and join me. I miss you. I need you. To be here. With me, with your arms wrapped around me.”

Your three friends stared at you, mouths open and eyes wide in shock. They had never heard you speak with such a tone before or say such things before, especially in public.

“Baby,” Rafael groaned. “You can not speak to me like that when I am near my friends.”

“But you said to ask nicely,” you pointed out. “I’ll keep doing it unless you say you’re all coming.” There was some commotion on his side of the phone before you could hear him speaking in Spanish.

“Hey, it’s Liv,” Liv’s voice replaced the Spanish, her tone definitely amused.

“Liv!” you cheered perking right up at the sound of her voice. In the several weeks since you had meet her, the two of you had met up for coffee and Liv had been over for dinner a few more times when schedules aligned. During this time the two of you had bonded quickly, and you really enjoyed being around the older woman.

“We’re all heading your way, you’re still at the same bar?” Liv assured you. “And thank you for giving me so much more material for teasing Rafa with.”

“Yep, we haven’t moved except to get more drinks,” you assured her. “And you are most welcome.”

You both ended the call, well, you’re pretty sure Rafael wanted to speak to you more but Liv hung up the phone before he could get it back. You grinned at your friends.

“They’re on their way,” you nodded to the cheers of your friends.

--

“Oh my, he is even better in person,” Lily murmured causing everyone to turn towards the entrance of the bar just in time to see Rafael and five other people walk in. You perked up, almost bouncing in your seat as you waved your hand to get their attention.

“Rafi, Liv!” you called drawing their attention to your table ignoring the other patrons giving you looks. All that mattered was that Rafael made eye contact with you and sent you that impossibly soft smile of his, as his entire face softened and his whole body seemed to relax. Liv was right beside him and was able to see the complete change in him as he saw you and she laughed lightly at how excited you were to see him as well. Nearly bouncing in your seat as you grinned at him.

“She is adorable,” Amanda whispered.

“Just wait until you see them together,” Liv whispered back. “Cutest bloody couple ever.”

“Does this mean we will get to try her food now?” Finn asked.

“Of course that’s your concern,” Nick rolled his eyes.

“Man, I got my priorities right,” Finn shrugged. “The food Liv and Rafael bring into the office smells divine.”

Rafael moved right to your side, sliding his arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your temple as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, almost falling but Rafael kept you on the seat by pressing himself as close to you as possible. Since you and your friends were sitting on stools you were roughly the same height as Rafael which made it easier to snuggle into him and press kisses along his neck before pulling away to make grabby hands at Liv.

“Liv, hi!” you smiled as she came around to your other side to hug you.

“Hey, there, you all been drinking water tonight yeah?” she asked looking over you and your friends.

“Of course,” Courtney was making near heart eyes at Liv and you couldn’t blame her, that woman was gorgeous.

“Guys this is Rafael, and this is Olivia,” you introduced the only two people you could. “Everyone, this is Lily, Courtney and Shannon.” You then turned pointedly to Rafael, who just narrowed his eyes at you in slight confusion. “Rafi, introductions.” You pouted lightly removing your arms from around Liv to wrap them around your man again, trying your best to look up at him from under your lashes.

“Alright, alright Chica,” he chuckled gently stroking your cheek. “This is Nick, Amanda, Carisi and Finn. This is Lily, and her friends.”

You smiled at him pressing a kiss to his cheek before turned to look at the other members of his friend group who were all sitting around the table, Liv next to you closest to Shannon, Nick and Amanda sitting in the two free seats next to Lily, Finn sitting at the other end of the table and Carisi sitting on the free seat next to Courtney. And Rafael was happy standing next to you with his arm wrapped around your waist.

“We need drinks,” Lily said. “Finn, help a girl out.” Finn just shrugged and followed the woman to the bar. You couldn’t help but smile at your bossy friend as she led Finn to the bar smiling up at him.

“Be careful with what Lily brings back,” Courtney warned. “She always buys potent cocktails.”

“But yummy!” Shannon assured.

“I’ll get us some water,” Liv laughed. “I daresay we’re all gonna need them. And maybe some more food.”

“Ooh, yes more food!” you nodded. “I’m definitely hungry again.”

“We’ve had like two pizzas and two bowls of fries and a bowl of wings,” Courtney quickly listed off on her hands. “How are you still hungry?”

“Don’t know but I am,” you pouted. “So…more food?”

“Noted, when you get drunk you get hungry,” Rafael smiled. “I’ll come with you, to help carry the glasses. I’ll be back, love.”

You narrowed your eyes briefly but at the promise of them ordering more food you released your hold on him.

“Come back quickly, please,” you begged. Rafael just chuckled kissing your cheek, checking the table number before following after Liv who immediately started talking about how adorable you were when drunk. You looked back to the table. “It’s so nice to finally meet all of you. Including Finn.”

“Same here,” Carisis smiled.

“Hmm, we had been all curious about the woman who was able to get Barba to smile,” Amanda added. “He only tends to smile when he is about to demolish the defence and that is a completely different smile.”

“Ah, yes I know which smile you are talking about,” you giggled. “I rather like it.” Though the reason for that smile was probably a little different when you saw it, the others were a little confused by the sudden red that coated your cheeks and went down to your throat.

Amanda, Nick and Carisi all shared a look at that information, filing it away like good detectives to tease the Counsellor with later. Although in the first five seconds of seeing you and Rafael interact, they had a large number of things they could tease him about. Including what seemed to be an uncontrollable desire to always be in contact with you, and the never-before-seen softness to his features.  

“So, any of you single?” Shannon asked giggly.

“Shannon,” you groaned. “Do try to be a little subtle sweetie.”

“What like you were?” she challenged raising an eyebrow. “Begging Rafael to “come”.”

“Oh, shush, that’s completely different,”

“It’s really not,”

“Is so,”

“Girls,” Lily interrupted returning with Finn who was looking incredibly confused by the current back and forth. “Really?”

The detectives were trying so hard to restrain themselves from laughing but it was a challenge that is for sure. Amanda leaned towards Finn to fill him in, causing him to bark out a laugh before trying but failing to cover it with a cough. Lily and Finn quickly handed out a round of shots and placed two jugs of some cocktail in the middle of the table and passed around glasses.

“Finn, I was just saying it is good to finally meet all of you!” you drew the attention back to the fact that you hadn’t met any of the detectives but Liv yet and tried to subtly inform Shannon and the others that you didn’t need them to make things awkward by hitting on them within five seconds. “I have heard quite a bit about you all, from Rafi.”

“He talks about us?” Nick asked, scoffing lightly. “I bet it’s mostly complaining.”

“Well, a little but mostly not,” you shrugged.

“Seriously?” Carisi needed to be sure he heard you correctly.

“Well, yeah, I doubt he holds back with his complaints at work,” you nodded, causing the others to laugh at how right you are.

“Good to see everyone is getting along,” Liv interrupted, returning with a bottle of water and some glasses, Rafael right behind her with another bottle of water and more glasses. “Definitely a good idea to get two bottles of water.”

“I think everyone may regret their choices in the morning,” Rafael quipped.

“I won’t!” you called making grabby hands at Rafael the moment he was in your sight. He smiled indulgently at you as he moved back to your side, his arm finding its way back around your waist, rolling his eyes a little as you sighed happily as you snuggled into to him.

“Oh, you probably will,” Liv said eying the shots that sat in-front of everyone. “Do I want to know what this is?”

“Nope,” Lily grinned picking hers up. “Now come on everyone, bottoms up.”

You and your friends eagerly picked them up, the detectives and Rafael however eyed it a little suspiciously, even Finn, who hadn’t quite heard what Lily had ordered. You turned your pleading eyes to Rafael, nodding towards the shot. He sighed, deeply, already regretting this decision as he picked up his shot. Grinning in triumph you turned to Liv, giving her the same look. Rafael watched in interest as his best friend tried very hard to ignore you, but he was able to watch as Liv’s eyes kept shifting to you and then away before her face scrunched up and she also reached for the shot glass. She shot Rafael a look, but he only raised an eyebrow.

“Now you know what I mean,” he told her.

“What?” you asked looking between the two.

“Well, who would have thought anyone would be able to get Liv to do anything,” Finn grinned. The rest of the detectives nodding in agreement, stunned over what they had just witnessed. The girls shared a look of confusion but their drunk minds quickly forgot about the odd moment.

“Come on,” Courtney begged, her hand lightly grabbed Carisi’s arm before looking towards Nick and Amanda.

“Alright fine,” Carisi laughed picking up the glass looking to the others pleading with his eyes to join him.

“I will make it an order,” Liv added turning on her Sergeant voice. The other three all resigned themselves to whatever was in the shot glasses as they picked them up.

“Bottoms up!” Shannon, Courtney, Lily and you all cheered, tapping the glasses on the table before throwing them back. The detectives and Rafael hesitated one second before copying them.

“Oh, god what is that?” Carisi asked face screwing up as the alcohol hit his tongue.

“I don’t think I want to know,” Nick coughed, reaching for the water that Liv had poured for everyone.

“Sook,” Lily giggled teasingly.

“Can I have some water?” you whispered to Rafael your hand playing with the tie he was wearing.

“Of course, Carino,” Rafael reached for his glass of water handing it to you with a kiss to your temple not noticing the phone in Amanda’s hand that was angled towards the couple. Liv raised an eyebrow at the blonde who merely shrugged, already sending the image to Liv and to Rafael. She figured the couple didn’t have a lot of candid photos of them. Smiling happily at Rafael, you handed him back the glass turning your attention back to the table.

“What are in the jugs?” Amanda asked a little wearily as she reached for one.

“I ordered those,” Finn assured her.

“Somehow I’m not overly assured by that,” she muttered but poured herself a glass regardless and sniffed at it. “Oh, is this just margheritas?”

“Yeah, they didn’t have a lot of options for jugs,” Finn shrugged.

“Good choice!” Shannon eagerly reached for the other jug to pour herself a glass. “Can I pour one for anyone else?”

Courtney pushed her glass towards Shannon with her fingers nodding as she did. “Obviously, I haven’t got work tomorrow.”

“Lucky,” Lily muttered but poured herself one anyway.

“Lily, do I have work tomorrow?” you asked turning to your best friend your brows furrowed as you tried to remember your schedule. Lily squinted at you, mouth opening a little as she tried to remember as well.  

“No, sweetheart you do not,” Rafael answered instead. “You have tomorrow and the following day off to recover from tonight.”

“Aw, he knows her schedule!” Amanda cooed leaning into to Nick.

“Of course I do,” Rafael said drily. “Why would I not?”

“Good point,” Amanda muttered sipping on her drink.

“Ooh! What food did you order?” you asked turning to Liv, one hand leaving the grip it had on Rafael’s suspenders to tug on the end of Liv’s blazer.

“We got more chips and some wings,” Liv informed you grabbing hold of hand and squeezing it gently, finding it difficult to stop the coo that wanted to escape. She found you adorable when she met you the first time, but apparently drunk you put that adorableness to shame.

“Yummy!” you wiggled in excitement at the prospect of food before a frown took over your face as you looked between Rafael and Liv.

“What’s wrong?” Nick caught sight of your frown first.

“Carino?” Rafael quickly turned to you, his free hand coming up to tilt your chin towards him.

“I want to cuddle with you but I don’t want to let go of Liv’s hand,” you whispered, shaking the hand that Liv still had hold of, tightening it in case Liv tried to let go of your hand.

“Darling, how drunk are you right now?” Rafael asked with a fond look, his thumb stroking your pouting lips.  

“Hm…a lot drunker than I was when I downloaded the dating app we met on,” you answered honestly. “Like way more, that shot definitely threw me over the edge.”

“I thought so,” he chuckled. “Want some more water?”

“Yes…but that means I have to let go of either you or Liv,” you pondered looking between Liv and him, lips pursed as you tried to make a decision. “Oh, I know, you can help me!” you grinned, ecstatic that you had solved the problem.

“Surely, he won’t, right?” Finn asked. He was slightly regretting joining but at the sometime not, he was getting a lot of material to tease not only Rafael but also Olivia. Plus, your friends weren’t too bad and he had been wanting to meet you.

“I don’t know, Barba seems very different with her,” Carisi answered shrugging his shoulders.

“Very different,” Finn agreed.

“I-,” Rafael was about to say no, but upon looking at you he once again found he could not say no to you. “Alright, fine.”

“No, way,” Nick muttered as Rafael did exactly that.

“I’ve known her for years,” Lily whispered to Nick. “Trust me, she is adorable and once someone gets to know her it is very hard to say no to her. If you were in his place, you would do the same thing.”

“I doubt it,” Nick turned to Lily raising an eyebrow in doubt.

“Oh, you poor deluded man,” Lily flicked his arm. “We’ll see, it even worked on Olivia, who is not dating her. One day you will have that look directed at you and you will eat your own words.”

The waiter came with the food interrupting anyone from being able to comment further on the fact that Rafael Barba, the man who didn’t relent even with victims, relented under a single look. Rafael set the glass down, pouring more into it, as he wanted to get you to drink as much water as possible otherwise tomorrow morning will be horrible for you. Though…he was a little curious how you would be with a hangover.

“Yay, food!” you cheered letting go of both Liv and Rafael.

“Thought you didn’t want to let go of us?” Liv asked waving her now free hand. Your eyes narrowed as you watched her hand, sure that you were meant to be doing something with it.

“Don’t confuse my poor Chica,” Rafael scolded. “Her poor brain probably can’t handle too much at once.”

“I must have missed the part where my boyfriend suddenly became a comedian,” you muttered crossing your arms. “Stay at your day job.”

“Now see, I was waiting for this,” Finn grinned folding his arms.

The rest of the table who were watching this like it was their dinner entertainment, tried not to nod in agreement with Finn. They dished out the food onto the plates that were placed on the table along with the food. Those who were nearly done with their margherita’s pouring themselves another glass. The detectives hadn’t had too much to drink before they joined you and your friends, so they still were no were near the level you four where at so they were able to hold in their amusement. Your friends however, were getting even further along where unable to hide theirs, the giggling muffled a little by their hands.

“For my girlfriend to insult me?”

“For Rafi to be mean?”

The two of you asked at the same time turning your eyes onto Finn who seemed a little shocked by the response.

“Creepy,” Shannon whispered.

“Extremely,” Carisi agreed. “They’ve only been going out what like two or three months? And they’re already in sync like that?”

“Actually, it’s closer to four months,” you shot at them before going back to the food that Rafael had put on a plate in-front of you. “Being precise with timelines is important, as a detective you should know that.”

“Oh, I see it now,” Amanda said around a mouthful of chicken wings.

“We all see it,” Nick agreed. Pouring another glass of the margherita, noticing that the two jugs were getting empty fast. He glanced at his watch, a little surprised by the amount of time that had passed.

“What do they see?” you leaned towards Liv confused.

“Why you and Rafi get along so well,” Liv whispered back.

“Oh, you mean apart from the fact that the man is gorgeous, charming, sarcastic and incredibly intelligent?” you tilted your head to side. “Oh, and good in bed.” There was a round of near choking around the table as they heard your comment, being drunk you thought you were whispering but you in fact were not.

“Alright, you are definitely cut off,” Rafael pushed the glass of the cocktail away from you. “Eat some more food.”

“Don’t be pushy,” you whined. “And give me my margherita back.”

“Eat some more food and drink some more water and then I will,” he commanded pushing your plate towards you before picking up his own margherita. You leaned towards him wrapping your arms around his neck so your mouth was right next to his ear.

“Or, give me back my margherita and when we go home, I’ll get on my knees and suck your cock the minute we get through the door,” you whispered seductively. “And then, I’ll strip naked for you, put on your vest and ride you.” You moved away a little to allow him to turn his head to look at you.

You felt Rafael’s hand on your waist tighten and you had the pleasure of seeing the red creep up his neck as his eyes started to burn. He swallowed, the knuckles on his other hand turned white as he gripped his drink. He was very grateful that you still had enough thought to whisper that in his ear rather than saying it loud enough for the rest of the table to hear.

“Chica,” he warned eyes taking in your cheeky grin. “That’s out of line.”

“Hm, we’re not in a court of law my dear,” you giggled. “So, counsellor, do you accept the terms?”

“No,” Rafael stated, smirking as your mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Really?” you were shocked. “But…I want my margherita.”

“Then drink some water and eat,” Rafael raised his eyebrow at the water he pushed towards you. “And you will.”

“Fine,” you huffed pulling your arms from his neck. “Then I won’t suck your dick.”

“…please tell me I wasn’t the only one who heard that?” Finn muttered.

“We all heard it,” Liv muttered eyes wide and looking away.

“You are naughty!” Shannon giggled leaning as far as she could to swat at your arm. “Is that what you whispered to him?”

You nodded holding the glass of water eyeing it suspiciously, cheeks puffed out as you sulked. Olivia lifted her drink out of the way of Shannon’s flailing limb, trying very hard to restrain herself as she watched the marid of expressions that passed over Rafael’s face. Shock, horror and that last one was a little unclear, but oddly enough she could still make out the fondness that he has for you in his eyes as he watched you giggle at your friend but still sulk over not getting your margherita.

“This has got to be one of the most entertaining nights I’ve had in the longest of times,” Amanda giggled. “And Barba the look on your face was priceless.”

“I hate all of you,” he answered, drowning the last of his margherita before grabbing your glass and drinking that as well.

“Hey!” you squeaked. “That’s mine.”

“You hadn’t finished your water or your food,” he groused.

“You’re not getting sex,” you glared at him.

“We’ll see,” he smirked at you, slowly licking his lips, your lips parted as you felt warmth slowly build, you had to squeeze you legs together as your eyes glazed over.

“Is he?” Nick asked, not even wanting to finish that sentence.

“That is the sign for me to go,” Finn decided standing up, a look of near horror on his face. His eyes squinted as he looked between Rafael and you. “It was good to meet all of you. Maybe next time a little less alcohol.”

“Agreed,” everyone agreed.

“I think I’ll also call it a night,” Amanda smiled. “I should go and walk Frannie before it gets too much later. Are you girls fine to get home?”

“Aw, that is so sweet!” Lily leaned into Amanda smiling up at her. “I’ll be fine, I’ve gotten home when I have been way more drunk.”

“If you’re sure?” Amanda asked.

“Mhm, though I can’t say the same thing for Courtney or Shannon,” Lily nodded towards the two other girls who were leaning against each other and giggling.

“True,” Amanda agreed, eyeing them both.

“I’ll help with them,” Lily patted her arm. “Shannon lives on the way to mine so I can take her in an uber with me. Courtney however, lives in the opposite direction.”

“I can take her,” Amanda offered.

“Ooh I get to ride with the pretty detective?” Courtney asked bouncing in her seat. “It’s my lucky day.”

“I wanna ride with the pretty detective,” Shannon muttered.

“You ride with me,” Lily pointed at her. “And you better say you’re lucky with that.”

“Duh,” Shannon rolled her eyes. “But I get to ride with a pretty librarian all the time.”

“I am both offended and fine with that,” Lily shrugged as she quickly drowned the rest of her margherita. “Is anyone else heading my way? Can take two more in my uber.”

“I’ll take you up on that,” Finn nodded.

“Carisi, you coming with?” Amanda asked, a particular look in her eye as she looked at the Italian.

“Sure, that okay with you Courtney?” Carisi asked, not wanting to tag along if she wasn’t okay with it.

“Two pretty detectives?” Courtney asked. “Getting better and better.”

“I think that’s a yes,” Nick muttered. “I’ll be fine on my own. Liv, you good getting home?”

“I’ll be fine, I live in the opposite direction of all of you,” Liv smiled. Everyone turned to Rafael and you, both currently still arguing over him drinking your drink. “I think they’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’ll be a good idea to share a ride with them,” Nick grinned. “It might get a little awkward.”

“Hey, lovebirds,” Carisi teased. “You two ready to go home?”

“Not with him,” you muttered, turning your pleading eyes to Liv.

“Oh, no,” Liv laughed reaching out to squeeze your cheek. “You are going with Rafi. Maybe you can tease him to feel bad about drinking your alcohol.”

“Ooh, could idea!” you nodded, trying to climb off your seat. “Come on bub.”

“I’ll never forgive this betrayal, Liv,” Rafael promised as he kept hold of your waist keeping you from stumbling. “She’s really good at teasing. It should be a crime.”

“Oops,” Liv grinned. “Come on.”

The group made it’s way out of the bar, Liv, Lily and Amanda helping Shannon and Courtney. They were surprising stable, only a little unsteady after sitting down for so long and drinking as much as they had. Nick, Carisi and Finn were all at the back keeping an eye on everyone else, they didn’t even realise that they had done it until Liv glanced over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow as the group waited for their Ubers together.

“What?” Nick asked crossing his arms. “You know me, you can’t even pretend to be surprised by this.”

“Alright, that’s actually fair,” Liv rolled her eyes.

“Rafi, the world is spinning,” you whined, looking up at Rafael, your hands were once again holding onto his suspenders.  

“Aw, my poor Chica,” Rafael cooed lightly brushing the hair out of your eyes before pulling out his phone to order an Uber, his other hand still held you tightly against his side. “Let’s get you home, my apartment or yours?”

“Yours, please,” you grinned up at him, all annoyance over him stealing your drink gone. “I sleep better at yours now.” You nuzzled your face back into his neck, sighing happily as his scent surrounded you.

Rafael felt his heart melt at that, the two of you rarely slept away from the other these days. The first time you had been in his bed when he got back from a late night in the office it had been surreal, he had to stop for a moment and appreciate that fact that you wanted to be there when he got back. It had happened after he got an emergency call, the two of you had been having dinner at his and you were prepared to head back to your apartment when he left but he offered for you to stay at his without even really thinking about it, all he knew was that he wanted to come back to his apartment with you still there.

“Looks like our ride is here,” Amanda motioned towards the car that just pulled up pulling everyone out of their conversations. Carisi moved forward ready to help with Courtney. “Tonight, has been…entertaining and enlightening.”

“All of this has been off the record,” Rafael warned looking pointedly at all the detectives.

“Sure, counsellor,” Carisi agreed, a boyish grin on his face. “Next time we need a warrant and you don’t want to do it I’ll just call y/n up and she can get you to do it.”

“Nope, that is an abuse of my power,” you claimed not lifting your head from Rafael’s neck. “Only use it when absolutely necessary.”

“Noted,” Finn said.

“Alright, Shannon, Finn our ride is also here,” Lily waved towards another car that pulled up. “It was lovely to meet all of you, should do this again sometime.”

“That would be nice,” Liv agreed.

“Thirded!” you called. “I loved meeting the rest of Rafi’s friends!”

“And we definitely enjoyed meeting you,” Nick assured you, chuckling a little.

A round of goodbyes followed as everyone managed to get into their Ubers with minimal issues. Assuring everyone that they would message when each member got home safe and sound. The more sober members of the group thoroughly entertained by the drunker members attempt to converse with the drivers before getting sleepy.

--

“Alright, Carino, here we are,” Rafael huffed as he gently set you down on his bed, hands hovering just in case you started to sway a bit too much but when you stayed upright, he moved around his room, gathering some clothes for you to sleep in. A little selfishly he grabbed one of his shirts for you, along with a pair of your panties that you kept here. “Alright, let’s get you changed, that make up off and some more water into you.”

“Rafi,” you looked at him biting your lip as your hands struggled to undo the buttons on your top. “Let’s have sex.”

“I thought you said no sex for me because I was mean,” Rafael laughed, grabbing the make up removal wipes you kept on the dresser. He warmed at the thought that there were daily items you used all around his apartment.

“Oh yeah,” you mumbled before shrugging. “Really that’s punishing me as well and I don’t deserve that. I deserve your talented fingers, tongue and cock.”

“Lord help me,” he muttered rubbing his forehead as his cock twitched in interest. He had tried so hard to keep it down at the bar after you whispered to him but here in the privacy of his own apartment it was becoming a hassle. “Baby, you are really drunk, so that is a no on the sex.”

“Maybe but I wanna,” you promised him. “I fully, whole heartedly consent to you railing me. Besides you’re already getting me undressed.”

“To get you into something to sleep in because you are drunk,” Rafael explained patiently. This was the first time he had ever seen you drunk and it was both amusing and difficult as he tried to get you changed. “Come on arms up, there we go.”

Thankfully, in your drunken state you eagerly followed his directions as he changed you and gently wiped off the make up you were wearing. Being sure to get every last spec of it. He wasn’t about to try and get you through your entire skin care routine but he figured you could do that in the morning or he could help you if you were hungover. Who was he kidding? You were going to be so hungover.

“Sex?” you asked one last time as he got you to drink some more water, leaving a bottle on the bedside table before he quickly got changed and slid into bed beside you, tugging you close.

“You’re drunk,”

“…yeah…” yawning you wiggled into a more comfortable position of sleeping mostly on Rafael’s chest. “Night bub…” soft snores followed after that as you drifted off into a drunken sleep.

“Tomorrow morning is going to be something,” Rafael muttered pressing a kiss to the top of your head, wrapping his arms around you as he listened to you breathing, letting that lull him to sleep.

[saiilorstars]

Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 26: Playing the Game

(Previous chapters)

Fandom: Law & Order SVU

Pairing:  Rafael Barba x OFC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel​ [If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message!]

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Declan Murphy has taken over at SVU and not a lot of detectives seem to like him. It leads to a night of drinking and flirting...

Montserrat walked into the SVU bullpen with half her things in her hand. She was digging through her purse, searching for her chapstick. She seemed out of it, which was why when she heard all the significant noises from the bullpen she quickly looked up and found quite a busy scene in front of her.

Desks had been rearranged so that there was only one row where the familiar detectives were huddled at. To the left was a young UC pretending to be a 14 year old for, what Monsterrat imagined, were live cameras.

"Welcome back," she mumbled to herself as she dropped everything from her hands into her purse. At Olivia's request, and partially her own idea, Montserrat had taken a week off from SVU. It'd done her some good to be away from work and just everything in general. After things with Jonah...a break was needed. Montserrat felt rejuvenated and ready to go back to her world.

She just had no idea what she walked into.

"Ah, redhead, you must be Detective Novak," a man - who hadn't been sitting like the rest of the detectives - said as soon as he spotted Montserrat. He had shaggy brown hair with obvious signs of gray streaks.

Montserrat's dark eyes were wide from utter confusion. "Aha…" was all that came out of her mouth as the man shook her hands.

"Declan Murphy, acting commander of SVU" the man introduced himself then swiftly turned back to the scene like Montserrat had never even come in.

"...how long was I gone?" she said louder than she had wanted to. Her eyes immediately began to search for Olivia. When she didn't find her quick, Montserrat had a brief panic attack thinking Olivia had quit or something. "What the hell is going on here!?"

"Welcome back, Novak," Rafael came to stand beside her, holding a cup of coffee in his hand.

"I am so confused," she passed a hand through her hair. "Why do we have a new commanding officer? And where's Liv?"

"You didn't hear, did you?" Rafael asked after taking a moment to study her blissful expression. He almost didn't want to tell her what she missed out on.

"Hear what?"

"William Lewis escaped from prison. There was a whole manhunt for him," and yet as Rafael explained this, he could easily tell this was the first time Montserrat was hearing any of it, "He took Liv and held her hostage."

"Oh my God," she blinked. "I didn't - I shouldn't have left."

"You had nothing to do with it. Liv is...better, but 1PP thought it was a good idea to put Murphy in charge for a while."

"And yet you don't look like you think it was a good idea," Montserrat said soon as she caught him giving Murphy a glance.

"What makes you say that?"

"You're doing that thing where you crinkle one side of your nose."

Rafael blinked at her when he saw her pointing at him, specifically his nose. His own hand moved up just slightly until he caught himself. "What thing!?" he demanded.

"That thing you're doing right now! You always do that when you're annoyed."

Rafael dropped his hand on his side. "Welcome back, detective," he muttered and turned towards the others. "Liv's getting coffee, by the way."

Montserrat nodded. "Thanks." She hurried to leave things at her desk and find Olivia. She could not believe she missed so much. "Olivia! Oh my God! I am so sorry for being away!" she burst into a fit of rambles when she ran into the break room.

Olivia seemed to have been expecting that sort of thing from the detective because all she did was smile and nod until Montserrat ran out of breath. "You're good, Novak. You were on a much needed vacation-"

"-but you were held hostage!"

"I'm good," Olivia reassured while languidly mixing in the sugar into her coffee. "And there were no charges filed against me anyways."

"Charges?" Montserrat gaped. "What charges!?"

"Never mind."

"Wait, what hap-"

"-c'mon," Olivia brought the woman out of the break room. "Did you meet Murphy yet?"

"Sort of. Seems kind of curt…"

"He's new-ish, but he's the one who helped Amanda out."

"Oh, he's that Murphy!" Montserrat made that connection fast. "Well, he can't be that bad, then." All Olivia did was hum in return. "So what exactly is going on over there?"

Olivia followed Montserrat's gaze and nodded. "Undercover string for any online pedophiles."

"Oh. Welcome home, I guess," Montserrat concluded. Secretly, she wasn't upset. Being away helped finalize where she was in her life. Plus, putting some distance might have been a good idea for...other reasons.

Their operation, while successful, only left SVU with one perp in their district. And that perp wasn't exactly what SVU had been looking for when they thought of worldwide operation.

Gordon Montlieff wasn't going to lead to a huge discovery. That much they got from 5 minutes of observing his interrogation with Fin and Amanda.

"Why are we talking to this guy?" Montserrat tore her gaze away from the interrogation and gave Murphy side-glance. It was getting tedious watching the interrogation get nowhere. Rafael and Nick seemed to share the sentiment by their similar irritated looks. "We can just charge him and lock him up already."

"Detective, you've been gone for a while so you might have forgotten how things need to run here," Murphy's words already moved Montserrat further into Nick's corner. Within the hour of her arrival, she could tell that Nick didn't really like this guy. "This squad needs to evolve. Little cases make big cases."

"I may have been away for a week, but I know exactly how this place runs. You, on the other hand, have only been here for how many days?" Montserrat found herself saying in response. Behind her, those who shared her feelings smirked.

Murphy seemed surprised at her snap but, with his experience, he had an easier time ignoring what he looked at as disrespect with commands.

"Look, lieutenant, we're not dealing with a mastermind here," Nick stepped up to back up Montserrat.

"We don't know what we're dealing with," Murphy insisted. "TARU still working on his computer?" All the detectives nodded their heads. "Find out where they are. Meanwhile, Fin and Rollins will walk him up the ladder, see where he leads us."

"You're the boss," Nick sarcastically said and turned to leave. He prompted the others to follow him.

"Is it too early for me to say I don't like him?" Montserrat asked quietly and quickly in case Murphy re-opened the door behind them.

"Nope," went Nick who made a direct beeline for his desk, though probably not to do as Murphy asked.

"Just give him a chance," Amanda said. "He's not what we're used to but he is a good guy."

"No one's debating his morals, Rollins," Sonny began, but Rafael had to chime in.

"Some of us are. I've done my due diligence on this guy and some of the things I found have left me… quite perplexed." Rafael had a mini-stare down against Amanda, but eventually the blonde detective looked away.

"Let's just go," Amanda muttered to Fin before taking the lead out.

"What things did you find on Murphy?" Nick had to ask Rafael after the other two were gone.

"I'd rather not say," the ADA cleared his throat and looked, clearly, uncomfortable.

"He's speechless?" Montserrat pointed his way. "It's gotta be bad. Why can't Olivia just take the lieutenant's exam and be the official commanding officer here?"

"Because that would be too easy," Nick begrudgingly answered.

After getting nothing from Gordan, Murphy decided to up the game. He passed himself off as another pedophile caught by SVU and practically scared the crap out of Gordon which motivated him to talk. And when they found what he led them to...they really wish they hadn't.

But their job required not only to them to see it, but their ADA too as well.

"I would brace myself, Councilor," Sonny patted Rafael's shoulder once the latter had sat down at the conference room.

Rafael rolled his eyes at the detective but did notice the others' uncomfortableness while Amanda pulled up their evidence. Even Fin looked rather shaken and he hardly showed any shock after his time at SVU.

"Kids without shame?" he read off the bold title of the web screen.

"It's a chat room for pedophiles. So here's the guy that Gordon tipped us off to," Olivia motioned Amanda to move down the screen from her laptop. "He calls himself 'Erastes."

"I see him from my window playing in the P.S. 27 school yard…" Rafael started reading from the screen when he heard Montserrat clear her throat.

She was looking quite pale. "I wouldn't read that out loud…"

Rafael gave her a look but, as he was meant to, he kept going and soon realized what she meant. "Sweet faced, chubby. I imagine stringing him...up…" he swallowed hard, "...hearing him squeal. How long do you think it would take for the blood to run out if I hung him upside down?" He had to take a moment for himself and shake that off. "That's horrifying, but-" and he really hated having to point this out, "-but it is on a site that explicitly says it's fantasy."

"He's talking about a real boy that he's seen," Nick countered.

"And you know this how?"

"We're giving you a heads-up, counselor, not asking for your blessing," Murphy declared and outright ignored Rafael's sharpened look. "I'm talking about one undercover meet. If it's just a fantasy, we walk away. And if it's not, do you want to be responsible for missing this?"

Oh, great, so now it was on him. This squad really liked squeezing him until he gave into whatever the hell they wanted. "Fine," he spat and got up from his seat. "One time. And you better get something good out of it."

There was an immediate debate about who would be going undercover and what the ruse would be. And some of them disagreed with the way things were chosen and handled.

"I need some drinks," Nick spat once Murphy, Amanda, Fin and Olivia had gone off for the undercover gig. He had complained about the entire gig to the remaining, including Rafael who had stuck by to listen to Nick's complaints. He sat at his desk and was practically ignoring the pile of work in front of him.

"You mean bottles?" Montserrat countered since she knew his mood stemmed from the one and only Declan Murphy.

Nick side-glanced her with a 'stop it' kind of look. "On me. Anyone?"

"I'll take some," Sonny rose from his chair with a finger raised in the air. He didn't complain out loud but he wasn't entirely devoted to Murphy's way of leading. "Councilor?"

"Sure," he gave in pretty easy, prompting the last detective to remark about it.

"Wow, you all will look lovely complaining about one Lieutenant," Montserrat smirked from one man to the next.

"You're free to join too," Nick gestured. "I know you don't like Murphy either."

"I didn't say that," she corrected but instead of believing her, all three men scoffed one after the other. "Oh shut up."

"C'mon, Montse," Sonny moved to her side of the desk and smiled down at the woman. "We can call Kara and make it a nice night out."

"Alright fine, since my presence is so desperately needed," she dramatically sighed and got pushed herself up from her seat. She grabbed her coat and purse and walked out with the trio.

~ 0 ~

Kara was ecstatic to have a night out. She was front and center even before the others arrived to their usual place.

"You look lovely," Sonny complimented her as soon as they met her outside. She was dressed in a nice tight, red dress.

"Thanks," Kara gushed and accepted his chaste kiss on her cheek before greeting the others.

"That looks familiar," Montserrat made a languid point at the outfit. She tilted her head and stared at it for a second before her eyes widened. "Hey, wait a second - that's my dress!"

Something akin to a snort came out of Nick's mouth. "You own that?"

Montserrat glared at him. "Not a word, Amaro."

"Oh don't argue," Kara hushed them both. "I just thought it would look nice. And it does."

"Here's to having that self confidence," Montserrat muttered and followed inside.

They found the bar counter empty towards its end and gladly took those seats. Kara, Sonny and Rafael ordered their drinks first whilst the remaining two deliberated on their choices.

"I just want to try something new," Montserrat shrugged after being practically commanded by the others to stop being so picky. She was not, in fact, going to end up picking the same thing she usually did as stated by Kara.

"Try this one," Nick said before clearing his throat and calling to the bartender. "Mojito, please."

It was safe to say Montserrat had no idea what that was. "What...what did you order?"

"Something new," Nick smirked all too proudly.

"Am I going to get drunk in two sips? Because that's not what I was going for."

"Relax, it's a Cuban drink. It's literally just rum and lime juice."

Montserrat gave Nick a long stare before flickering gazes to Rafael for some extra confirmation. He gave a silent nod but it was good enough for her.

"Fine. But next time give me a heads up. I have no idea what's in your people's type of drinks."

"My people's type of drinks?" Nick laughed. "What does that mean? That I'm Cuban?"

"And you drink. And so does…" Montserrat made a not-so-subtle nod at Rafael. The man in question narrowed his eyes on her but rather than being offended, he seemed amused. Where she was taking this, he had no idea.

"Now you're just being purposely mean," Kara was the one to say.

"You know they say the same thing about Slovaks?" Nick countered. "You guys drink way too much."

"Point taken, but it's not true."

"Mm, I've seen you drown scotch," Rafael spoke up only to get a glare from Montserrat.

"Yeah, every time you offered some. You own the bottle."

"And yet you drank most of it."

Montserrat glared at him for a full minute before uttering, "Oh, shut up."

Rafael smirked, and soon did the others. Montserrat just settled into her seat and waited for her drink to come by. Luckily, it did along with the others'.

Montserrat picked up her glass and eyed its flashy green contents. "It just looks like a bunch of leaves."

Her complaint made Nick smile after taking a sip of his own glass. "It's good, just try it."

"I wouldn't try it," muttered Kara who then received a jab from Sonny. "What? He's poisoning my friend-"

"-I resent that," Nick pointed at her. "I'd do a much better job if that was my intention."

"Oh, well, thanks," Montserrat huffed.

"Just take the damn drink, Montserrat," Rafael was close to groaning in annoyance with her. "If anything, it'll be weak."

Montserrat raised her glass again and peered over its top. She shrugged in the end and took a big drink. Her face immediately scrunched when she tasted the acidic lime. And she shivered. "What is that!?" she put her glass down and refused to touch it ever again.

"That is a Mojito and you are wasting it," Nick promptly responded with.

"Uh, no," Montserrat cocked her head to the side. "That is overpriced lemonade. And it's not even good."

When Rafael thought Nick had gotten enough of her scolding, he chimed in for Nick's sake. By now, he had a pretty good idea of what Montserrat would like for drinks. "Would you like some of that scotch now?"

Montserrat smiled sweetly in a sarcastic manner, one he came to like admittedly. "Yes, please."

"The whole bottle?" and he gave her that smug face she pretended to hate but secretly craved more for.

"Shut up and order me my drink." Montserrat pretended to huff and look away while Rafael did order for her.

"Que débil eres," Nick's mock, though in a foreign language, pulled Montserrat's deadpanning glance.

"Nu-uh, don't you start using Spanish on me to mock me." Montserrat meant to sound offended, but after trying to be the bigger person she found herself uttering something else, "Ty hlupák."

Nick paused just as he was about to drink and thought of what he heard. Even Rafael and Sonny were having trouble making out Montserrat's words. The only one who seemed unsurprised was Kara.

"What…" Nick lowered his glass and turned to face Montserrat, "...what did you just say?"

"You moron," Montserrat said proudly. "Anyone else have something to say in a foreign language?"

"If I say something nice in Spanish, will you say something nice in Slovak?" Nick flashed her a smile that elicited a laugh from her.

"Alright, I'm gonna need y'all to stop flirting," Kara's remark affected Montserrat more than it should, and perhaps Rafael too. The latter stayed quiet but he was watching Montserrat's every movement. Who knows...it's almost as if Kara planned such a comment.

Judging by Sonny's disapproving glance, she just might have.

"I-I wasn't," Montserrat shook her head. "...just playing a game."

"Aw, and here I was hoping for something," Nick smirked and leaned closer to her. It was just too much fun to stop, especially since half of what he was doing was pissing Montserrat. "La pelirroja más ardiente que he conocido."

Montserrat raised an eyebrow at him, unable to keep a blush from reaching her face. "Goddamn you, Amaro. Is this how you pick up women? Because if it is...well done." She raised her hands, indicating he definitely won.

Nick couldn't help the big grin that took over his face. He really was just playing a game too and it got even more fun when it made an actual effect on her.

"A ty si ten najhladší muž, akého som kedy stretol," Montserrat returned, her Slovak tongue sounding far different than what everyone was used to hearing from her. There was a sharpness in her words, yet something...alluring about it. "And you are the smoothest man I have ever met," she repeated her words but translated.

Least that's what Rafael thought and figured Nick did too. It was ridiculous how angry he got in such a short minute, but it was real. He hadn't even realized how tightly he was gripping his glass, but Kara did. And she elbowed Sonny so he could see the same.

"Get your flirty friend out of here before your other friend commits murder and has to try his own trial," Kara told him in a hushed tone.

"Well, actually, he wouldn't be able to try his-" but Sonny stopped on account of Kara's hardened gaze. "Yeah. Sorry."

"Mhm," she said with a straight face.

"You gotta stop playing this game," Montserrat was telling Nick. "Save the Spanish and the looks for a woman who doesn't know you're as stubborn as a mule."

"Scotch?" The bartender stopped by with a glass for Rafael. He pointed the drink was for Montserrat and so the glass was slid down to her.

Just as she took it, Nick's cell phone started buzzing in his pocket. When he pulled it out, he saw it was his ex-wife, Maria. "Gotta take this. Be back in a bit."

"Oh, we got lucky," Kara said in a dramatic relieved tone.

"Oh, c'mon, you can't be taking this that serious," Sonny gave her a look. He of all people knew how badly Kara wanted things to work for Montserrat and Rafael, but she also failed to take in what reality had done. "It's harmless flirting."

"Well, it looked like Rafael wanted to inflict some real harm on Nick," Kara said quietly. "And you know, just because he's not a cop like you guys doesn't mean he can't make things look like an accident. If anything, being a prosecutor means he's seen exactly how to do it."

Sonny rolled his eyes at her and reached for his drink. "You're being over-dramatic."

"Am I?" Kara let a humorless laugh slip from her lips. "Look at that," she nodded ahead.

Without being interrupted by flirts or friendly banters, Montserrat and Rafael had found a moment to start conversing. At some point, the two had scooted closer to talk better.

"No, I'm serious. He's 7 months and he already had his two front teeth very much present," Montserrat was saying as she took drinks from her glass.

"So your vacation consisted of you visiting the family you were a surrogate mother for?" Rafael's strange look wasn't the most inviting but Montserrat just nodded her head.

"Yeah. I hadn't seen Leah or Michael in a while and I wanted to see Andrew too. He's 7 months, almost 8." Montserrat's face softened the more she talked about Andrew Saunders. She'd pulled her phone out and revealed some of the pictures she'd taken while she was away. "Leah and Michael moved to Brooklyn and they showed me around the city. It was a win-win."

"I can't believe that's really where you spent your vacation," Rafael continued to disbelieve and shake his head.

"You're one to talk. When's the last time you had a vacation?" Montserrat raised an eyebrow at him and didn't waver in her stare until he smiled in defeat. "That's right. Now c'mon-" she held her phone between the two with a picture of Andrew and herself on the screen, "-you're going to tell me this little guy isn't worth visiting?"

A pout. She was actually giving him a pout. It was a sarcastic pout, but a pout nonetheless. She could be such a child and yet...so goddamn attractive. Captivating.

Rafael resisted the urge to touch one of her ginger curls framing the side of her face. Instead, he focused on what she was showing him. It seemed like she'd gone to a park with Andrew and no doubt his parents. She held Andrew on her lap, looking down at him with a laugh. Andrew seemed ecstatic being given her absolute attention.

"Sounds like fun," he found himself saying. "...he has red hair," he noticed after a moment's watch.

"Michael's a redhead," Montserrat said dismissively. "Anyways, glad you see my point. We don't always have to bicker, you know."

"That's a choice? I have a choice?"

Montserrat deadpanned his sarcastic surprise.

From her spot, Kara saw Nick returning after finishing his call. "Oh no, he's not ruining this. He can flirt with me if he needs to!"

Sonny's face scrunched at that idea. "N-n-n-no, wait a minute-" but he was too late because Kara had already gotten up from her stool to retrieve Nick before he could reach his seat.

"Sit with me flirty detective," she cheerfully pulled him to the empty stool on her left.

"O-okay," Nick could only blink as he was sat down in his reassigned seat. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," Sonny answered while giving Kara an unamused look.

"What?" she looked between the two detectives oh-so-innocently. "Feel free to speak in Spanish and Italian to me. Take turns, even."

"Kara," Sonny shook his head disapprovingly, but Kara could care less.

Something funny had been said between Rafael and Montserrat because the latter was laughing hard. She leaned her head back on his shoulder in the process. Rafael stopped for a second to look down at her, but she was too busy laughing to notice. He couldn't even remember exactly what he'd said to make her laugh so much, but he wasn't complaining.

[cycat4077]

Changes: Chapter 9 (the finale)

It’s finished. Finally! Hopefully it’s a satisfying enough ending :) I’m going to make one last post with all the chapter links together and then you’ll finally be done seeing posts on this fic lol

Title: Changes Ship: Sonny x Reader (OC female character)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch.6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | AO3 | Chapter List |

Chapter 9: Changes - A life without Sonny feels incomplete. But he can’t possibly feel the same way about you…can he?

Time passes you by slowly. The leaves change colour, the days get shorter and the air gradually turns colder. The tears you cry eventually subside, but sadness still lies just beneath the surface. Your daily back-and-forth to college seems so monotonous. There’s no doubt that you love your job and you are able to slip into your teacher-persona for classes twice a week, yet outside of those hours, you can’t quite seem to shake the feeling that you’re incomplete.

Occasionally, while walking campus or the New York City streets, you may cross paths with some tall man clad in a well tailored suit. Your stomach flips and, for the briefest moment, hope swells inside of you. But each time, you realise that it’s just another stranger.

Oftentimes you find yourself staring at his number on your phone. Though you promised each other that you’d keep in touch, you have never been brave enough to press “send”. Every overthought draft of Hey, how are you? or Hi, how have you been? has been deleted; your mind fabricating some excuse as to why your communication would be unwarranted.

Your self doubt is only compounded by the silence on his end as well. Sonny Carisi is a busy man. His life is consumed by his work; a detective by day and law student by night. Even so, you’ve imagined all the different ways in which you could be there for him: from being an ear when things get rough, to leaping into his arms for a warm embrace whenever he finds success. Fantasies aside, you have convinced yourself that he would have no place in his life for you.

Therefore, time after time, you click off the screen and blink away the tears that threaten to fall over what will never be.

Life continues to drag by and your heart remains heavy. You go to bed at night feeling low, only to wake up the next morning and start all over again. No amount of journal entries can siphon the heartache out of you. It’s hard to continue living this way. So, one evening you do the only thing you can do. With shaky fingers, you grab your phone and dial. You inhale sharply. It rings once, twice and then the line picks up. “Mom?” you whimper.

You pour your heart out over the phone, confessing to her everything about the summer you spent with the Italian detective. You reveal how you’ve fallen for his personality, his compassion, his drive and even the way he saunters around a room. The emotion spills out of you as you confide in your mother. She’s always been your voice of reason and she still is now. The advice she gives you is what you already know deep down inside, but is nevertheless exactly what you need to hear: Tell him how you feel. You have nothing to lose.

You hunch over in bed after hanging up, and stare at Sonny’s number on your screen. You resolve to take a leap of faith. You need to tell him what’s in your heart. You settle it in your mind once and for all before you have the chance to talk yourself out of it. Yet, you’re nervous as hell. How do I do this? you wonder. You can’t hide your fear or emotions behind a text or a call. You need to see him. That way, there will be no ambiguity. You will be able to know whether he feels the same or not. You’ll be able to read it in his gorgeous blue eyes or by the subtle changes in his expression. If he doesn’t feel anything for you, you can at least move on. Regardless of the outcome, the uncertainty needs to end; it needs to stop tearing you up inside.

The next morning you dress carefully, fretting and spending too much time deciding what to wear. You have a class in the afternoon so you need to come across as a professional, but at the same time, you don’t want to approach Sonny looking like you’re about to make a business deal. You want to look good for him – pretty, even. It’s a foolish notion. You’re not a superficial person and you believe that Sonny isn’t either. Besides, he’s already seen you with your hair sticking out in all directions. Still, you choose yourself a nice blouse that matches your eyes and dress pants that hug your curves in just the right way.

The journey back to the 16th precinct is automatic. Your feet remember where to go even though your mind is somewhere else. You step into the elevator and select the button for SVU. Your pulse rises with each floor the elevator climbs. The air feels thick, like you can’t quite breathe. Finally, the lift dings and the doors slide open. It’s hard to take that first step forward. This is it, you think. You’re going to profess your love in front of the entire unit. Should I be doing this? Is this ridiculous? Your heart pounds in your ears as you slowly round the corner into the squad room. It’s now or never.

You’re met with the familiar sounds of ringing phones and idle chatter. Nervously, you scan for Sonny. Your eyes dart frantically around the room. Instead, all they land on is Sgt. Benson; Sonny nowhere in sight. You can feel your face begin to flush as you approach her. Benson says your name affectionately, surprise painted across her features.

“Hi, Sergeant,” you say uneasily, “Have you, uh…Is Son– Detective Carisi here?” You stammer and clasp your hands together in front of you to stop them from shaking.

“Oh,” she responds, “he said he needed the afternoon off today. He already left.” Your heart falls. Benson then takes another long look over you, “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” you choke out. “I, uh – it’s nothing. I gotta go,” you manage, turning to leave. “Nice seeing you again, Sergeant,” you add quickly, then scurry for the safety of the elevator.

To say you are disappointed is an incredible understatement. You desperately push the “close door” button after the elevator lets you in. You feel ashamed. Foolish. You talked yourself into this for nothing. Was it infatuation? The thrill of someone paying attention to you for once? Did you allow yourself to fall in love with someone who didn’t love you back? Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. If it was, he would have been there. Maybe this was fate’s cruel way of telling you to move on.

As you stand outside the police department, a shaky breath escapes your lungs. The cold assaults your hands and you shove them deep inside the pockets of your woolen peacoat. You try to keep the tears at bay as you start down the tall steps. You have to keep going. Afterall, there’s a class to teach and no time for feeling sorry for yourself.

The college lecture hall holds about 100 students, your class filling just over half. There’s a gentle slope to the room that leads from the door to the podium with tabled seats spreading out perpendicular from the aisles. You have the lights dimmed as you give a lecture on the circulatory system within the heart. Every now and again, you pause to write keywords on the blackboard, allowing students to focus on their importance. It is one of those very moments when your back is turned, that you hear the click of the door at the back of the room. Immediately, it ticks you off. There’s only a half-hour left to the session and some kid decides to come in late? Talk about irresponsible!

You’re about to deliver a covert passive aggressive remark, but as you turn around, you’re instead rendered speechless. Your tongue sticks in your mouth and your heart seems to stop beating. There is no mistaking who has joined your lecture. He quietly takes a seat in the very last row, distinctly at least a head taller than the other students around him. Those expressive eyebrows you had missed so much, raise when his eye catches yours. You look down briefly, smiling to yourself before continuing the lecture.

He observes you intently as you walk your students through the lecture material. All summer you had watched him excel in his domain. Now, he could finally see you shine in yours.

The next half hour flies by and you conclude, dismissing the class. Students pack up and shuffle out. One pupil however, remains seated until the very last student leaves. He then gets up and makes his way to the front of the room. You can now fully discern his attire as he comes closer into view: A camel coat with a crisp white shirt underneath. No vest. No tie. Just a few buttons left undone near the collar. It’s a different look than you were used to but one that’s positively handsome.

“Yourra really great teacher,” he calls to you, long strides drawing him nearer. 

“Thanks,” you say, beaming. “But…what are you doing here?”

“Well,” he begins, now standing in front of you. A sideways smile is etched across his lips. “I took the afternoon off wantin’ to sit in on a lecture. I had heard about this really great course ‘n wanted to see if it would be the one for me.”

Your knees become weak. “And?” you question, raising an eyebrow.

“I really enjoyed it and never wanna miss out on it again,” he smiles, eyes crinkling with affection. Your heart flutters in your chest, beating a mile a minute. “Oh, and I don’t like admitting that I was textin’ in class, but a message from Sarge came through sayin’ you were down at the precinct lookin’ for me?”

You swallow hard. “Yeah,” you say vulnerably, “I was looking for you, too.” You pause, gathering your courage. “I really miss you, Sonny.”

His smile grows. “I really miss you too,” he reveals without hesitation.

Despite his statement, you feel compelled to explain yourself. “I know we didn’t start out on the best terms at the beginning of the summer, but I…really grew to like you.” The feelings you harbour finally come tumbling out. “I enjoy being in your company so, so much and I don’t…I don’t want to lose out on that.”

You stare up into Sonny’s swirling blue eyes. They’re so kind and gentle. Those eyebrows you once found to be so disgruntled, are softened just for you. The voice you had thought boisterous, is low and calm. Even the swagger you initially considered pompous is simply confident and charming. But one of the best surprises has come from just getting to know him. Sonny is one of the most sincere and considerate people you have ever met. The way he looks at you with genuine affection and respect causes your stomach to feel like it’s filled with a thousand butterflies.

How do you tell him all this, though? How do you say I love you? But as you stand there in front of him and his smiling eyes, you understand that he already knows.

“I don’t wanna lose you either,” he speaks softly. There are tears forming in your eyes because you finally know that he feels the same way. Sonny’s gaze begins to flicker down towards your lips. “May I?” he whispers, but you’re already responding with a gentle nod.

Sonny carefully cups your face in his hands and brings his head down to place a tender kiss upon your lips. You close your eyes and lift your hands, finding purchase on his chest.

You are completely transfixed by his soft lips on yours. A warm tingle spreads from your toes to your heart, seemingly lifting you up with it. You lean further into Sonny’s kiss before you eventually part. His fingers run tenderly along your arms, taking your hands in his.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been wantin’ to do that, doll,” he smiles, accent deepening.

“Same here,” you grin. Your eyes linger on one another for a moment longer, before you turn to gather your belongings.

Sonny collects your coat and helps you into it. “Wanna grab some dinner?” he suggests.

“I’d love that,” you answer, smiling again.

Then Sonny offers you an outstretched hand. You happily accept, his fingers interlacing with yours as you make your way out of the lecture hall.

No, you didn’t expect that this is where you’d end up in your life – that a little summer job could open your eyes to so much and to so many wonderful people. You never knew that you would end up going through so many changes. Most importantly however, you never could have foreseen that your little summer job would lead you to fall in love with someone who had fallen in love with you too.

(Apr. 22: Now continued as part of a series. Part 2 here)

Notes:  This is the first multi-chapter fic that I’ve sought through to completion. And while I have put off other, probably more important tasks to do so, it still feels like a significant accomplishment. It’s not an elaborate or polished fic by any means, but that’s the beauty of fanfiction: readers are generally already aware of the world and characters, allowing authors to focus more on feelings rather than needing to fully describe every little detail.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading this and I’m extremely thankful if you made it to the end. You don’t know how much I appreciate seeing the notes on here. It makes me smile knowing you took time out of your day to read my stuff. Thank you! <3