#The Pants Song ruins me and I woke up with this sentence in my head

[red40exe]

Do you love him? Mr. Heere's voice rings, his tone firm but true. It makes Michael brave those first few steps in exploring what it means to love Jeremy Heere.

[jaysbestie]

ahshshdhsh this is my first time using the ask function in this app and i might as well take this as an opportunity. can you please write about jakey being a hopeless romantic (kinda like f2l thing) wherein they're also classmates and y/n is oblivious af? it would be very much appreciated, thank you~

hi this is a vERY late, I don't know if this is similarto what you wanted, I'm so sorry, but I hope you like it!!

Hoops and Love Letters

pairing ; f2l! basketball player! jake x gn reader

genre ; fluff

warnings ; food

summary ; jake, your best friend since you were children has started making your heart beat fast, little do you know, his is beating just as fast...

"yo jake!"

you were sitting on one of the park's benches with your best friend while eating strawberry flavored ice cream he got for you, when you heard someone call your best friend's name.

"jake!"

it was louder this time, meaning the person calling him was coming closer. Suddenly one of jake's friends, sunghoon, came into view trying to catch his breath while he sat down on the bench between you.

well now that was awkward.

he looked between you two, clueless to the situation you were in and asked,

"did I interrupt anything?"

he asked and to that question, your cheeks reddened as you turned to look at jake, noticing how his cheeks were also light crimson as he opened his mouth to answer his friend's question

"n-no you sure didn't" jake stammered. but jake never stammers?? and you just stood there, a little sad that jake answered sunghoon's question negatively and you just stood there, taken aback by jake's answer and by his stammering.

"it doesn't seem like it tho, anyways, heesung needs you in practice, jay was late and he almost got yelled at" sunghoon started talking without getting a breath, almost as if he was rapping.

you searched jake's face for a reaction and he didn't even look surprised by ths situation going on at the school's gym.

"well, y/n, I'll have to go, sadly, however, ill try to return you your book on saturday on our picnic!" he told you while he got his school bag, from the bench you sat on every day after school, and started walking behind sunghoon to the gym.

"I'll be waiting for my book!" you yelled and screamed, happy that he remembered the poetry book he borrowed from you, two weeks ago. you see, your and jake's bond was something unbreakable, being friends and classmates from a very young age and being lucky enough to be able to continue this friendship till now. you started packing your bag and put the cup from the ice cream in the park's trashcan while going to your house. there really wasn't anyone at home however you prepared your table fully and made yourself lunch. you sat down trying to find a boring enough movie so that you'll be motivated to stop watching it and study or catch a nap.

————————♡timeskip♡———————

it was now 7pm on a friday afternoon and you were currently doing your homework so that you didn't have to do them during the weekend, when your computer started alarming you that there was an incoming skype call by jake. it made you instantly smile and you answered his call watching his face brighten once he saw you had picked up.

"hey"

"hi"

"are you doing homework on a friday night?" he asked, while he looked at me as if I was a weird creature.

"yeah, I don't understand your opposition on me doing my homework on a friday night" you said, the fake offended look on your face made jake laugh and that moment it was like you heard an angel laugh.

"have you prepared anything for our picnic tomorrow?"

oh shIT

you panicked

"I swear to god, y/n y/l/n, did you forget about one of the most important days of the month?" it was his turn to act offended now taking a dramatic pose acting as if he was crying.

you were about to start crying because, hoW. COULD. YOU. FORGET. YOUR PICNIC?!?!

"oH HELL NOH, how could I forget our picnic?!" you stated nervously hoping that he didn't notice the panic on your face when he mentioned the picnic.

"great, I was hoping you remembered about it because, well,,, tomorrow's picnic will be extra special, than just a day on the calendar" he said, he seemed nervous and by his sentence you became nervous too, hoping that something joyful will be behind this "extra special picnic"

"YO Y/N YOU THERE?" he yelled and then proceeded to slap his laptop's screen, just to make sure his computer wasn't the problematical one.

"yeah sorry, my laptop started glitching, see you tomorrow at the park!" you yelled at him and ended the call in a hurry.

you sat up from your desk's chair and walked in front of your mirror

"I now have to go down and prepare for tomorrow's picnic" you said to try and convince yourself to go down and prepare however your plan was interrupted when your phone rang, the name of your other best friend lighting up the screen.

"YANG JUNGWON YOU LITTLE MONSTER" you screamed as you picked up the phone.

" yo y/n what is your proBLEM?!"

"YOU OBVIOUSLY"

"what did I do this time bestie, explain to me please"

"well I was about to go prepare for my monthly picnic with jake but you decided that it was a good idea to call me".

"oooh, jake, the guy that likes you but doesn't know how to tell you"

"plEASE, he doesn't like me, we've been friends for a couple years and he sees me as a good friend"

"ok but like, since yOU like him, why don't you speak to him about it?"

at this point you are heading to the kitchen in order to get ready for tomorrow, since hanging up on jungwon wouldn't happen soon.

"if I tell him I might ruin our friendship, won"

"he likes you too tho, even sunghoon noticed!"

"since when do you hang out with sunghoon?"

"since you were too busy going on dates with jake"

"please, we had study meetings"

"yeah call it whatever you want love"

you tried to respond to jungwon but nothing came out of your mouth so jungwon continued,

"anyways, I'm hanging up so you can prepare for your picnic, by the way, wear those brown corduroy pants I got you for your birthday!!"

"yeah fine, I'll make sure to fill you in on what happened won, good night!"

"night y/n!"

with that you went to prepare some quick snacks for tomorrow and also got some of your favorite jellies from a seven eleven nearby, all because they were also jake's favorite jellies.

———————♡timeskip #2♡———————

you woke up by the sudden sound of your alarm, you didn't even remember setting an alarm but you find have time to worry about stuff like this as you wanted to get up and get ready quickly for the picnic.

your phone rang and jake's number lit up your phone's screen.

"yo jake, bro, homie, fella, how you doin" that was the weirdest thing you've ever, like eVER, said in your life.

"Y/N Y/L/N ARE YOU DRUNK THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING?!"

"of course no jakey, it's 11:29 am, the picnic is in two hours "

" uh uh uh- special picnic" jake emphasized special once again.

" oh well, guess I'll take more time to get ready since its spEcial" you said, mimicking the way he said special.

" I swear to our friendship, y/n, if you're not ready by the time I come to pick you up, consider yourself not my friend" he said sarcastically, adding a laugh at the middle of his sentence.

"oh well, it's your lucky day because I have just started getting ready!" you lied, you walked to your dresser and started searching for that one pair of brown corduroy pants jungwon suggested you wear.

"I'm hanging up jake, gotta go get ready, see you at 1 outside my house!" you hung up without giving him a chance to reply.

bingo

you finally found the pants, searching for a shirt now. you found a white blouse you had got last Halloween for a pirate costume but never wore it. It didn't look like a costume shirt anyway, you shrugged and got into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready afterwards.

You were done with your shower now, the time was 12 pm and you had an hour left before jake got to your place to pick you up.

You put on your clothes and matched a pearl necklace (which was, indeed, a gift by jake) with your outfit, you opted for some classic black converse high tops as for the shoe choice, and with that, your outfit was complete.

You headed downstairs to prepare your basket, full with snacks and fizzy drinks, also getting a light blanket with you, just in case.

You heard a car honk from outside and checked the time, it was 12 : 40, twenty minutes before jake should be here to pick you up. The same honking sound was heard again and you headed to the door to see if it was jake by any chance. It was jake indeed, you got your basket, your keys, sprayed some perfume on and left the house, not forgetting to lock the door behind you.

"well hello there, y/n"

you were ready to tell general kenobi literally at his face, the pun must've been intended as you had a star wars movie marathon some days ago.

"hello to you too, jakey"

You both got in the car and jake turned the music up, a song unknown to you playing on the radio. Jake seemed different today, he seemed nervous, something unusual to him.

"is everything okay jake?"

"yeah why?" he responded while he let out a small laugh.

"oh, nothing!"

The drive went by quickly, however jake had taken you to a place you thought you'd never see again, it was the place where you and jake had first met. A park filled with bushes and sunflowers, huge trees and benches along with wooden tables. You were on the verge of tears, left speechless, you opened the car's door, taking your basket and started running around the park laughing loudly. You were feeling truly happy.

Jake was watching from inside the car, deciding to open his door too, taking his own basket, locking the car and started running towards you.

After running around for some good minutes, you sat on bench and left your baskets on a wooden table, starting to set your food in order for your picnic to start.

You had started eating your second sandwich when jake interrupted you, making you put your sandwich down and turning your attention to him.

"yo y/n, do you remember those love letters you kept on receiving last year?"

"of course I do! I've been searching till this day! but what does that have to with our special picnic?"

"well, I'm the one who sent those letters" jake said, lowering his head and starting to fiddle with his hands.

"well, that was a good one!" you started laughing. Noticing the situation jake was in right now, it only meant one thing, "WAit, you're not joking?"

"not really" he said giggling sadly, lifting his stare and watching into your eyes. You extended your arms and reached out to hug him.

"why didn't you tell me?"

"wait, you really didn't know I liked you? The boys kept on telling that my crush on you was too obvious!" he said, looking annoyed by his friends that moment.

"I mean, you did throw a basket ball at me once that had, "let me take you out" all over it but I didn't think you meant thAT TAKING OUT" you said, laughing at the old memory you had remembered.

well, y/n, would you officially allow me to take you out?" he asked, a glowing happy slice on his face when he noticed your emotionless face, "on A DATE, I mean, not with a basket ball!" he added. With that, you burst into laughter and looked at him, showing him your brightest smile.

"of course I'll let you take me out, on a date, jake"

[buckyownsmylife]

Holy Ground - Chapter 4

The one where Andy seems to have lost everything, but he’s not ready to give up.

A terrible car accident ruins Andy Barber’s idea of a perfect life. But if the love’s still there, why wouldn’t he retrace the steps that led him to his happy ending? After all, the best love stories were made to be written more than just once.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist and if you’d like to be tagged on my following Chris Evans and characters stories, just fill out this form.

A month had passed and the dates continued. I’d take her to a small restaurant, we’d share wine and stories I already knew all about, before I had to take her back to the hospital and sleep by myself yet again.

She was making progress, they’d tell me. She was starting to remember things about her past, what happened to her parents, knowledge she had gained whilst in college. Even the name of some of her favorite students. 

Nothing about me. Well, nothing of substance, anyway. Nothing that would make her realize we’ve been through all of this before, all of the first dates, first touches and kisses… So we kept on reliving it, and I kept hoping it would help her remember.

A month had passed and the doctors finally decided she could go home with me. We introduced her to the idea through a nice nurse that had become sort of a friend to her ever since she woke up. 

From what I heard, she asked my wife if she’d like to spend the night with me after one of those dates we kept having, and after a fit of giggles, she admitted that she did. And so that night, when I picked her up, I knew there was the possibility that I might not be sleeping alone tonight.

I couldn’t really focus on that thought. I didn’t want to create expectations only to be left feeling empty and alone when I got back to that large, cold bed. And so I focused on her, on how happy she seemed to be, spending time with me.

I took her dancing that night, and it’d been so long since I’d seen her look so ecstatic. She’d always loved to dance, and I loved any excuse to have her body tightly pressed against mine. But even when I had to step away to get us drinks, she kept her body slowly moving to the beat of the song, smiling with her whole face when her eyes met mine.

I never wanted her to stop dancing. But when she looked up at me from under her eyelashes, gaze so uncharacteristically shy, I couldn’t stop myself from licking my lips at her quiet invite.

“Do you want to take me home?” She couldn’t understand the impact those words had on me. Home. She wanted me to take her home. We couldn’t arrive there fast enough. I watched with intense gaze as she stepped foot in the house we’d decorated together, taking notice of the way her eyes looked at the details, the paintings she had chosen, the colors of the wall we had painted together. 

I’d fucked her right on the floor of this living room more times that I could count.

“Do you like it?” I asked, and she nodded somewhat timidly, like she didn’t think she fit there somehow. The thought concerned me almost as much as it infuriated me. “Do you want a glass of wine?”

When she shook her head, I smiled patiently at her, waiting for her smaller frame to approach me so I could cradle her face between my hands. “Do you want to go upstairs?” This time she nodded, even though my question was barely over a whisper. We were close enough for her to understand it.

I kissed her then, eager to touch her, to taste her lips and caress her body. I absentmindedly thanked myself for the fit of rage that had me breaking all of the picture frames inside the house weeks ago. That moment of vulnerability stopped me from freaking her out tonight.

She hid her face in the crook of my neck as I carried us upstairs, just like she always did whenever we were going to bed - both to sleep and not at all. And then, after I’d put her down on the floor and reached for the edge of her dress, she stopped my movement with a gentle hold on my wrist.

“I-I’ve never done this before.” And it hurt. It hurt because she had, I’d been the one to take her virginity a few years ago. The memories from that time flashed before my eyes as I looked at the face of the woman I loved and saw another version of her, one that I’d yet to uncover. “But I really want to do this with you.”

Her words brought some comfort to my desperation. I leaned down to cover her lips with mine again, allowing my hands to roam all over her body and in seconds, her dress was on the floor.

“You’re so beautiful, darling.” She looked flushed, but if from the compliment, my heated gaze or her own desire, I couldn’t tell. And in that moment, I was taken by the realization that it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter that she couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter because it happened, and she was mine. She was mine back then and she was mine now. She had chosen to be with me right now, and I was gonna make the most out of this experience.

“Spread your legs for me, baby,” I asked when she was completely naked and sprawled out on the bed before me. I was down to my pants too, and I got rid of those before I got down to my knees, desperate to have her taste on my lips again.

“Andy, that feels so good.” Shivers went down my spine at the feeling of her nails raking over my scalp before she managed to get a grip over my hair, pulling on it whenever I twirled my tongue around her clit.

“I’ll alway make you feel good, sweetheart.” My cock pulsed inside my boxers, and still all I wanted to do was lick her up, drown myself in her taste. I’d spent too long without her wetness, I needed to get it imprinted on my lips again.

She cried out when I filled her with two of my fingers, and I remembered she thought this was her first time. “You like this, darling?” After she nodded, I pressed on, “Does it hurt?” She shook her head, clearly unable to speak, and so I got back to the apex of her thighs, licking and sucking on her little nub until she was shaking underneath me.

“It’s alright, baby.” I always had to coax her orgasm for the first times we’d laid together, her being too inexperienced and unfamiliarized with the sensations coursing through her body. “I got you. Cum for me.”

I watched hypnotized as she threw her head back while she clenched around my fingers, and I felt tempted to climb up her body and mark that pretty little neck she had exposed with a hundred million love bites, but I didn’t. I didn’t want her to feel pressured, feel like my weight on top of hers was me hurrying her process just so I could fuck her.

But I didn’t need to worry, because as soon as her eyes were open again, she reached out for me. “Come,” she called, tiny hand grasping for mine. “Want you inside.” I’d always found adorable how she cut down her sentences when she was eager for me, and witnessing it again only added to the desire I felt for her.

I climbed up on the bed and reached out for her other hand, keeping both of hers clasped on mine as I fused us together. I’d almost forgotten how it felt to be inside of her. This connection… It went beyond the sexual, it felt spiritual.

I kept holding her hands as I started to fuck her, losing myself to the feeling of being this close together again. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in, and I only let her go when she pried her hands away to claw at my back.

“Shit… Take my cock so well.” It was gentle, the way I thrusted in and out of her, easily finding that spot that had taken me a while to discover back when we started having sex. But it was also desperate - I was desperate. A part of me really believed I’d never get to have her like this again, never get to share this sort of intimacy with her, cherish her body, give her pleasure. 

But here we were.

“You like that, huh?” I couldn’t help but tease, hearing her passionate moans reverberating across our room. I already knew she did. I knew just what she liked. But when she moaned my name as a response, I almost lost it right then and there.

It was the best kind of torture. Being this close and still having to keep some part of me intact, remembering that she still hadn’t given every part of her in return. I didn’t want to hold back. I wanted everything with her, once again.

It didn’t take much to bring her to climax, and hers elicited mine, like she always did. When it was said and done, I made sure to cuddle her just like I knew she needed, especially considering this was the first time she remembered doing this.

“How was it?” I asked, kissing her temple as I caressed her skin, relaxed in the knowledge that I’d fall asleep hearing her heartbeat against my chest. “Did I manage to make it great for you?”

She pushed away from me just enough to meet my eyes and smiled. “It was perfect.” But once she readjusted herself against my chest, she still commented, “I thought it would hurt more.”

A bittersweet smile took over my features, but thankfully she couldn’t see it. In fact, I watched as she fell asleep on my arms, muttering an “I love you” that would probably still freak her out if she’d heard right now.

I couldn’t imagine a world where I wouldn’t get to share a bed with her anymore. So that night, for the first time in a while, I didn’t feel alone as I closed my eyes and followed her into Morpheu’s arms.

[electric-marrow]

mouth dreams review but it was typed live while i was listening to it and completely unedited

under the cut because it’s 1800+ words. also, swearing. actual review to come soon!!

mouth dreams' first track is ephemeral and beautiful, spine-chilling and moving. it rocks you into this world in a beautiful passageway, like the entrance to sakaar, and the moment it peaks over into the twilight opening you are almost on the verge of tears.

and then we will rock you kicks in.

/and then the spongebob squarepants opening theme kicks in/.

and then the two motherfucking /sync/.

a beautiful piece of childhood, worked over another. beautiful guitar overlaid with beautiful chanting almost powerful.

the next song uses extensive sentence mixing, but is cut so smoothly that we are convinced Cash is offering up an absurd, painstakingly honest tale. "it's probably a good train." fuck, fuck, yes, it probably is. "my mama was my train." fuck, she was...

the instrumentals are soul-rising, and the "baby, baby, baby" undercurrent is eargasmic. everything about it feels like you're listening to your dying mentor's backstory.

it moves you, and you keep moving. this whole album keeps you in constant motion, as if you yourself have some falling to do.

and then he says "i shit my pants". and you realise, this is it, this is NEIL'S ALBUM, oh, how foolish you were for forgetting.

HELL YES IT'S FUCKING PSYCHO KILLER. let me pause the review of that song, fuck yes.

a heavily sentence-mixed "pyscho killer" focusing on david byrne's bed, overlaid atop the iconic instrumentals of super freak.

this makes the talking heads classic seem like an upbeat song you might hear on the radio. it's much less somber, more passionate.

neil's humor pokes through visibly, shining like a beacon of light that brings a smile to your tear-stained face.

there's no room to breathe on this album; the songs come running together in the most gorgeous of ways. holy shit, am i only twelve minutes in? i think i might sob.

this one is unfamiliar at first—i only saw the partridge family once or twice as a kid. the remixing is smooth, so that it sounds natural.

so natural that when it starts to sound unnatural, it's a terrifying work of art that made me shake. a plea with you to be happy, almost a demand, like they're outside your windows.

the music starts to dance from ear to ear, and it's almost masterful in the horror it invokes.

and then there's scatting. or, what sounds like it.

and then you realise it's the chili's babyback ribs ad. it's soulful, placed atop everybody wants to rule the world in smooth ease.

that's when marilyn manson starts shrieking. the roughness, the rasp, smacking against that smooth drawl. it's a beautiful juxtaposition.

oh, and then the lion sleeps tonight is there. somehow, it fits. you start to revel in neil's genius. no one will ever be able to achieve this again, not in the same way. this is the beacon that you needed in these dark times.

you wonder if you'll cry the next time you hear this.

it's a pretty effective ad, actually. if marilyn manson advertised everything, i might buy it.

the next song makes you jump to attention. the track teased in the trailer, with its jumping guitar and its congested vocals. this sounds almost natural, like an authentic goth song.

of course, he has to say "mouth". aerosmith and green day and, most importantly, neil cicierega, combining to create a mouthy ballad that echoes through you.

—oh, goddamnit, green day. september 30th. neil woke up when september ended. fuck. dammit. is that insensitive? maybe. shit.

i'm not well-versed with music, so these songs were both pretty alien. however, their mixing is masterful, and the removal of the singer's objections to his situations form a sweet little ballad.

my own worst enemy. this one is  familiar, and it makes heads turn as you realise what music is slowly remixed.

a rocking tribute to sleeping with your clothes on. short, sweet, rockin' and rollin' as hard as it can.

the segue is beautiful, like it's natural.

the lyrics make your chest heave, and the sound itself is heavily distorted to a dreamy state, as if you are as drunk as the singer sounds. anything can be amore, you realise.

the distortion is noticeable without ruining the track, and neil has gotten significantly better.

it ends a little more nightmarishly, and makes you feel very real. very in your skin. fuck yeah, neil.

the following "stop" is even more jarring, and it's almost welcome.

and then, stacy's mom. i think the instrumentals are where is my mind, i don't know. but it /works/, and it fits together, with stacy's mom slowed down considerably but not so that it ruins the track. the pitch is shifted properly so that it becomes an angry slow ballad about stacy's mom. rife with heartbreak.

and then it stops, breaks off into a cry for "mom" that might awaken buried maternal issues in the listener. maybe just me, though.

here comes fred durst. it gets the "wow wow" treatment, and its nookie theme becomes sweet, bouncing around with innocent sentimentality. i thought i heard seinfeld around there somewhere.

this is a good point in the album to close your eyes and really hear the album, to feel what ou are truly experiencing. it can move by too fast if you're not paying attention. listen to that iconic sledgehammer guitar. listen to—mario?

fuck. fuck. fuck.

fucking christ. not the fucking ewok celebration.

almost nonsensical lyrics play over the nookie instrumental (reversing the last track's roles), and the combination is natural and rowdy. you slowly realise what those ewoks reflected in neil's glasses /mean/, and it horrifies you just a little.

god, that's good. fuck you, neil.

jingles? is that—jingles?

a moment of confusion. and then, THX.

the iconic, crawling note, invading your ears and then slowly fading out. "she drives me crazy" is playing, and the THX sound is its backing track.

only neil.

it gets better as it goes on, from a joking track to a genuinely orchestral sensation. it's good music. it's beautiful. it feels like an action movie soundtrack, as the hero discovers a massive secret.

maybe you are dreaming.

the next sound sample is jarring. the announcement. the outsiders cast. and then more, and then more. it feels like a list of gods left in a dying world. johnny.

and then there is johnny cash.

and then it isn't.

what neil plays is heartbreaking. it feels like your world is crashing down around you. it's a betrayal that could bring anyone to their knees. the booing played behind it is appropriate.

but he builds that world right back up, with soft, strumming guitar. it's forgiveness and vitriol all rolled into one.

actually, you can forgive him for the next track. yes. fireflies. let's fucking go. closer overlaid with fireflies. yes. hell yes.

it's like a gift, a peace offering.

the nostalgic, upbeat lyrics, feel deeper atop the warbling, warped backing track. it's like owl city's song about dreaming feels like it could be a teenage angst anthem.

it's art.

the plucked guitar fades out, and the lyrics start to distort. everything fades away...

nevermind, time for billy joel.

the shrieking, screaming, rasping lyrics of nightmare are mixed atop the bouncing piano music, so the song lays halfway between an upbeat piece of joy, and a warning.

it ain't over yet.

xylophone. why is there xylophone?

the iconic "powerhouse" track serves as our instrumentals, the classic sound one from our childhood as the droning sound of jack white forms a buzzing piece of heartbreak. only neil, right?

only neil.

the "War" sample is iconic, and it makes you jump.

the "Wannabe" sample will make you writhe.

iconic, jamming guitar, and also wario. the spice girls, and also wario. yes. yes. this is it.

the following laughter brings back your childhood. elfman's work on the peewee soundtrack, peripatetic in nature, running up and down your ears as gorillaz croons a bittersweet sound. it becomes almost triumphant against the instrumental, re-energized like the monster in frankenstein's lab.

peewee is laughing. maybe we should laugh too.

the next one up is soft, plucked note by note, until alanis morisette goes completely off the deep end. the spoons, alanis.

holy shit, is that knight rider?

this mashup is classic, expertly remixed without a single hitch. it's neil at his finest, neil at his neiliest, alanis' quiet "Don't you think?" almost smug.

the sound of rain, followed by the crooning iconic "raiiiiin" is enough to make you break down. this is a blessing from an unknowable god.

two backstreet boys lines run up against each other, forming a surrounding sound that envelopes you in shaking guitar until the distorted sound in the back becomes noticeable.

there it is. there's the song you were waiting for.

your savior has arrived, and it is in a horrible form. it rises from the tomb in an unholy abomination. you fall to your knees.

"wake up."

i can't. i'm trapped here. i can feel every single one of my vertebra. i'm crying.

and then beethoven and britney make a duet.

"hit me baby one more time" runs along iconic dashing violin.

you start to hear it, and then it's there even more.

the hall of the mountain king, slowly building, the suspense enough to bring you to the edge of your seat. weezer's lyrics are pronounced like an oracle's prophecy, sardonic and yet grim, delivered with its iconic "say it ain't so" almost ironic.

then the crescendo hits, and the singing feels like it's declaring your fate. it rocks you, and never lets you still.

...and then there is the dial-up. you're staring at neil's face, and you realise the title itself has a secret. the starred letters spelled out "nice modem."

the screeching dial-up sound, and then nothing. you're sitting in the silence, with this quiet revelation.

he's carried you through the greatest adventure of your life, and then left you in the nothingness, tearing away a world that could only be imagined in the dreams of a 90s kid raised on the internet.

it's heartbreaking, but it mends every single tear of that vital organ. it's alright. neil's got you. this is his gift, this is his message.

he shares this dream with us, because it's the only piece of hope we can hold onto. someone else's dream, forged on childhood memories and ambition, woven together with years of experience until it culminates into an hour-long album of cultural mashup and musical blasphemy.

it brings tears to my eyes, and then wipes them off. it wants you to feel, it wants you to bleed, and then it wants you to heal. rejoice, says mouth dreams. rejoice. rejoice in what the world has given you.

you're going to be alright.

definitely, like, a solid 9/10. pretty good album. i think my favorite track was either brithoven or superkiller, tell me what yours was in the replies!

i can see new colors.

[lettingmydreamsspeak]

The Heart Knows Best

Summary: While on a yearly trip to Manhattan, the reader follows her heart one early morning, leading her to an unexpected moment trying to escape the rain.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Female Reader

Warnings: None

Word count: approx. 2300

A/N: This is the first of my writings that I actually wanted to post. If this is a story that you want to see more of, let me know! This has the potential for a series. I’m also open to feedback, so message me if you have some.

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It was early enough in the morning for you to contemplate whether or not you should turn over and go back to bed, or get up and tackle the day. For some, if they were on vacation like you were, sleep would be the first option. Not today though. You felt the urge to get up and seize the day. There was something deep down inside that was pushing you to get up. It was as if something was calling you go out and find something, but that something was hidden.

You are the type to make sure that your makeup and hair is perfect before heading out the door each day, but the intensity of this calling pushed you to quickly get ready. With your yoga pants and favourite band t-shirt on, you grab your notebook and pen, along with a sweater, phone and hotel room key. Standing in front of the mirror, you think to yourself that at 6am, who cares what they look like, especially when the rest of the world around you is sleeping.

This city gave you life. Even though your home was thousands of miles away at the current moment, it was okay. You felt more at home here in Manhattan than you did in your own hometown, and that is probably why you kept returning. When life permitted, you would visit the city to rejuvenate your soul and get back to feeling like yourself again. You were never really sure why this city did that for you, but never argued with your feelings, especially when it came to how that heart of yours was feeling.

This was the first time that you woke up at such an ungodly hour to take a walk and enjoy the silence that is so rare in the city. As you strolled down the street in a lazy manner, you knew that a coffee was needed to kick off the day. Your favourite café was a few blocks away. It was not open yet, so a small detour would help continue your early morning adventure.

You found the perfect spot…a concrete bench in the middle of Times Square, where you could sit cross legged and relax. Sitting quietly, you looked around to see that there was not a soul around. Strangely enough, you didn’t feel alone. The constant flashing of lights and images on the oversized billboards kept you company, as they seemed to be brighter than the sun that was slowly rising on the horizon you could not see. This view could be considered sensory overload, but for you, you loved it because it was always changing, just like your life. You could only take it in small doses though. As you sat there and took it all in, your hands gently opened up the notebook you carried with you.

The blank pages stared back at you. Those blank page did not scare you. It was everything that you were holding with you in, that scared you. It was also those blank pages that allowed for you to convey what scared you. The life you were given was beyond blessed. It was a life filled with endless opportunities to dream and the chance to live them out. There was one thing that you had always dreamed of though. It was love. Yes, you had the endless love of family and friends to fill your life. Even though you have been in and out of love a majority of your adult life, it was ultimately the soulmate kind of love that you were in search of. A love that, in a way, scared you.

The pages slowly filled up about the dreams you had for this kind of love. Line by line, you wondered if you were being unrealistic. But yet, the words kept flowing from the heart to the hand, and on to the pages, making it all seem a little more official. With the quickness to get all that you were feeling onto those pages, you could feel the return of what got you out to the middle of Times Square so early that morning.

“What are you trying to tell me?” you asked aloud, as if someone was going to answer.

The feelings grew stronger to the point that if you didn’t get up and start to walk again, you may be ill. You quickly closed up the book with an unfinished thought barely written down. This thought ended mid-sentence. You needed to go though, not to escape what you were feeling, but to dive in and understand why that feeling grew even more. The coffee you once needed, now slipped your mind as you were on a mission to get to Central Park. You were seeking refuge in the park. This is where your hair, like the leaves in the trees, would blow in the wind and the smell of fresh air would fill your lungs. It was the mix of the city life and the solitude of nature that had a place in your heart. You knew exactly where you wanted to sit. It was just beneath the trees near the Gapstow Bridge, looking towards the buildings that towered over 5th Avenue. What a view it was. You found such peace when you sat there.

As sun kissed clouds filled the sky with orange and pink hues, as if it were a painting, you met the entrance of the park with a great big sigh.

“So heart, you led me here, now reveal to me why.”

Your steps slowly took you to the spot you loved the most. Finding the tree you would frequently sit under when returning to the city, you took off her sweater and set it on the ground before sitting down.

“Alright, you got me to this spot. Why have you suddenly gone quiet? Are you at peace now that we are here?”

You realized that all those feelings that plagued you since you awoke, had disappeared. This clarity allowed for you to focus on the thoughts that filled the mind, the daydreams of the perfect life that you only imagined. As you drifted off into those daydreams, the world started to wake up. The beautiful morning songs of the birds still outweighed the sounds of the cars getting people where they needed to go. As your eyes remained closed, you could pick out the sounds of ducks on the pond, bicycle wheels speeding past, and the quick paced footsteps of the runners as they went by. Without even realizing, the smile on your face grew larger. You felt happy for the first time today.

“I guess I just needed to press pause, didn’t I? I am okay with that, if there is where I need to be.”

Taking another deep breath of the fresh air, your heart rate slowed. A sense of calm had come over you, causing you to drift off not into daydreams, but actual dreams. The tree was the perfect pillow, and the warm wind…a perfect blanket.

That warm wind slowly started to cool and gain some speed, bringing in what seemed to be a morning storm. Though there was not a single drop of rain falling from the sky yet, the painted sky turned dark. Yet, you were still asleep, complete unaware of what was happening around you. That was until a single drop of rain landed upon your nose. The shelter from the tree had stopped a majority of the rain from soaking you, but the water that had landed on the paved path was slowly starting to drain off into the grass, in the direction of where you sat.

Not fully awake and alert of what was going on, the rain started to come down even more. This change in weather scared you out of your slumber. In a daze, you scrambled to find the phone on the ground and your sweater, that seemingly started to soak up what little water that was streaming off the pathways. Not sure of which way to go to seek the closest shelter, you threw your hands into the sky in frustration.

“Seriously? You bring me out here, only to get soaked by the rain. If this is a joke or something, you don’t see me laughing!”

A couple running by looked at you as if you were going crazy. They even looked up to the sky, as if there was a giant you were talking to. Yelling at the sky was not going to help in that moment so you started to cross the bridge in search of a place for to stay dry. Suddenly your heart stopped. You had forgotten the notebook under the tree. The thought of this notebook being completely ruined by the stream of water flowing down the hill, broke your heart. Quickly turning around to run back to the tree, you were stopped in your tracks by a human, standing in the way.

Almost in tears, you kept your head down to keep the rain from your face and the embarrassment of being on the verge of crying.

“I am so sorry…I just…please excuse me. My life is written in that notebook. It’s slowly…. Becoming a soggy mess under that tree right there…I need to get to it before it is completely….ruined.”

“...You mean this notebook?”

The stranger slowly pulls out a notebook from under their sweater. Seeing that notebook in the hand of a stranger would have worried some individuals with the idea they read about your life’s greatest secrets. You knew better than that. This stranger didn’t have time to read the notebook. With a sense of relief, you sighed as your head still hung low. You couldn’t make eye contact with this stranger, as you still felt humiliated for treasuring that notebook so much.

“Thank you so much. I know it’s just a notebook and I shouldn’t be crying about it, but I’ve had that notebook for such a long time. There are lots of memories and dreams written on those pages.”

The stranger kept the notebook in their hands as they continued to protect it with their sweater.

“I understand. I can’t imagine losing something like this. When you got up to find shelter, I saw it fall from your lap. I couldn’t just leave it sitting there.”

His voice calmed you. It felt familiar. It felt safe.

You slowly started to look up at the hand that held the notebook, and the other hand that held the umbrella you weren’t even aware that you were standing under. He was no longer protecting himself from the rain that was coming down. He was more concerned that this notebook, and you, would stay a little drier than he now was. What kind of stranger would be so kind as to do this? You slowly started to raise your head, knowing you was protected from the rain by this stranger. As you stood staring straight into the eyes of this man, you became even calmer. You knew exactly who this was.

“Here, please take my umbrella to protect you and this notebook.” He slowly handed you the notebook, which appeared to be in near perfect condition, along with the umbrella.

A smile reappeared on your face as you slowly extended your hand to retrieve the notebook from his hand. Looking up into his eyes, and his friendly smile, you accidentally grabbed his hand instead of the book. You were quick to remove your hand from his. In that moment, your heart skipped a beat.

“Oh! I am so sorry!”

You felt your cheeks turned a little more red than they already were from the cool breeze now blowing on your face.

“Thank you for your kindness and the offering of the umbrella. How will I ever get this back to you? Maybe you should take it will you. My sweater will protect me.”

Looking down at the sweater, you realize it was soaking wet and muddy from being on the ground. He laughed a little when he probably shouldn’t have, but he knew you just wanted to get out of there, without inconveniencing anyone. There was something about you that put a smile on his face. Just then, his heart skipped a beat too.

“I’m wearing layers, and I have a hood. I’m staying close by, so I’m not worried about getting wet. Please keep it.”

He extended his hand that held the umbrella out towards her, now fully standing in the rain that appeared to be letting up for the time being. You were still lost in his eyes and smile. You didn’t want to argue with him as he showed such kindness in that moment.

“I will be forever grateful for you and what you have done for me this morning. Thank you.”

Unsure of what else to say and feeling overwhelmingly bad for making him stand there in the rain, you slowly turned to start walking away from him until his voice stopped you.

“What is your name?”

Without hesitation you replied. “It’s Y/n.”

“Well y/n, I hope your day turns around.”

“Thank you”

You smiled again as you turned to walk away. With only a few steps between the two of you on that bridge, his voice stops you yet again, causing you to turn your head to look back at him.

“By the way, I’m Chris.”

You knew exactly who he was, as your face lit up from beneath the umbrella he gave her.

“Bye Chris…and thank you again.” You pick up your pace as you walked away, waving goodbye with that precious notebook in hand.

The steps between the two of you grew bigger and bigger. The distance separated you both to the point you couldn’t see each other anymore. Your heart started calling to you again. Feeling compelled to stop at the entrance of the park before stepping foot back to reality, you realized why you were supposed to be in the park that morning.

“It was him. Chris was the reason for all of this. Wasn’t it?”

In that moment your heart skipped a beat again. You knew exactly what your heart was saying, clear than ever, probably for the first time ever in your life.

From under the gifted umbrella, you looked back at the park entrance, hoping for a brief moment that he would be standing behind you, but he wasn’t. The honking of a taxi’s horn brought you back down to Earth, as the crosswalk light changed and you ran across to find shelter from the growing storm.

To be continued: Part II

[chanbangblog]

ive only felt religion when ive lied with you- 11

A/N: (smut, Chan x reader, Canon compliant, fan/idol) 

“Fuck, Chris! Fuck-“ you moaned as his hand made contact with your ass again, stinging in the best way.

He pulled you up from where you were bent over the bed, as he thrusted in and out of you like this was his last fuck on Earth. “Who said you could tease me like that in front of everyone?” he asked, teeth gritted.

He ending the question with a particularly hard thrust that knocked the air out of your lungs.

“I’m-I’m sorry baby, I just cant help it when you’re around.” You said, trying your best not to moan in the middle of the sentence because oh god, he felt so good in you right now.

“I know, you’re such little slut for my cock,” he said, as his hand reached around to touch your clit, “tell me who can fuck you this good.” He commanded.

“You baby, only you,” you moaned, as you reached your high, your own hips stuttering as Chris continued to fuck in and out of you.

He let you go and you quite literally collapsed forward onto the bed. He pulled out of you and flipped you over, spreading you so he could push back in.

“You feel good babygirl?” he asked, as he kissed your cheek. You moved so your lips could meet, never growing tired of the butterflies you got each time. You wish you could bottle that exact feeling and save it for a hard day.

“Yes, you always make me feel good.” You said, in reply after your lips parted. He stood up and quickened his pace again, hands under your knees to push them back and gain better access.

“I want your cum baby, please,” you begged, you loved the sight of him cumming on your stomach and you wanted it again, now.

“Are you gonna lick it up again?” he asked, sounding fucked out.

“Yes I love the taste so much, please baby” you begged. Your begs worked because a few moments later he had pulled out and was pumping his cock as white spurts painted your stomach.

You ran your finger through it and licked it clean, just how you knew he liked it. He was smiling this time.

“You really are amazing, y/n.” Chris said, before turning to go get a towel to clean you all up.

A few minutes later when you were laying in bed, naked in each other’s arms, you finally spoke what was on your mind.

“Well I see we’re not using condoms anymore.” You blurted out.

Jesus. Smooth, once again.

“Yeah I guess not, I mean, I know I’m clean,” he said, looking at you expectantly.

You hesitated, suddenly feeling embarrassed, “Oh, um, yeah. Me too, I mean, I got tested after I found out my ex had cheated on me and I was clean. I’ve never had sex without a condom with anyone unless they were, um, my boyfriend,” you cringed even as the words were coming out of your mouth.

You did not just say that word. The B word. You did not.

“Good thing I’m your boyfriend then.” Chris said, smiling.

“MY WHAT-“ you cut yourself off, sucking in a breath in shock, stomach doing a million back flips at once and threatening to turn on you.

Fuck y/n, don’t throw up, not now not now.

You threw the covers off of both of you and slung your legs over the side of the bed so you could sit up and put your head in your hands.

Chris was laughing, laughing. You could hear him behind you as you desperately tried to calm down.

“No this is not happening, I do not have a boyfriend, I do not-“ you stopped when you realized you were speaking out loud.

“Yes you do, and it’s me!” Chris sing-songed in the background.

“No, we can’t, I- I can’t-“ your words turned into a broken sob as reality overtook you. It couldn’t be true, it could never work, never in a million years.

You hid your face in your hand as you finally let all your emotions flow out with your tears, sobs racking your body. You could barely hear Chris over your own noises and you could feel him moving toward you.

You just sobbed for a few more moments before you realized Chris had taken your hands and was trying to get you to focus.

When you finally did focus, his face was right in front of you, he was kneeling in the floor.

“Y/n, Y/n, It’s okay babygirl, I didn’t mean to force it, if you don’t want me like that then-“

“Don’t want you? How could I not want you? Look at us together, we’re perfect! It’s not about what I want! It can’t happen Chris! You’re an idol, you’re untouchable and-“

“and yet here we are,” he finished, “I don’t know how it’s going to work but I want it to, I fucking care about you and I can’t see you as anything but my girlfriend.”

His words hurt. How could words so sweet, hurt so much?

“Exactly, you don’t know how. Because it’s not going to work.” You cried, “You live in Korea and are constantly travelling. I live here, I have a life here, Chris. I can’t just give up everything to chase you!”

“I’m not asking you to, I would never ask you to.” He said, “but you told me you’ve always dreamed about living in Seoul, what if you try it out? And while you do that, you give us a try?” he asked, eyes full of hope. Hope you knew you would crush.

“I can’t live in the shadows like this, Chris. I can’t have the best thing in my fucking life be a secret. I can’t ruin your career just because I’m selfish! What if they found out? I couldn’t live with myself! I couldn’t!” you screamed.

“Look, I don’t have to hide my personal life forever, I’m sure you’ve heard about the three year-“

“Dating ban. Yeah, I know. So you want me to live like this for two more years? Am I hearing you correctly?” you demanded.

“Live like this? I thought you were having fun.” Chris said, drawing back, hurt painting his features.

“I am having the time of my life Chris! But I can only stay in hotel rooms and rooftops for so long” you yelled as another sob overtook you.

“You’re right…you’re right.” He replied.

Chris wrapped his arms around you then and you cried until you felt you didn’t have any more tears. When you were finally done, you looked up at him, only to find his eyes puffy and red too.

“Y/n, do you want me?” he asked in an even tone, serious as death.

“Yes, always.” You said instantly.

“Then we’re going to figure this out.”

***

The morning light painted the ceiling yellow, your eyes followed the beautiful rays of light that danced above you as the Texas sun rose.

You couldn’t be sure how long you had been awake or how long you had been asleep prior to that. You just lied there and listened to the rhythmic sounds of your boyfriend breathing in and out in his sleep.

Your boyfriend.

You weren’t sure if it would ever seem real. You weren’t sure if you were a fool for trying. But you did know one thing, you wanted him, more than anything you had ever wanted before. And maybe that was enough.

Your arm was under his neck, your fingertips pulling softly on his hair as you ran your fingers through it, his face in the crook of your neck, legs tangled together. You wished you could pause time right here. In the early morning hours, while the city and the world were still asleep and all that mattered was his breath brushing against your skin.

But you learned quickly again, time doesn’t stop for anyone.

A knocking on the hotel door woke Chris up from his sleep, and you from your delusions.

He shouted something in Korean and threw some pants on as he stumbled through the door. He had a quick conversation through the door and came back to the bed.

“Y/n…” he said, grabbing your hand.

“Don’t Chris, don’t ask me because I’ll say yes.”

“Please come to LA with me,” he said, and took you in his arms. You collapsed in his embrace as you shook your head yes.

“Should I get Bluebird a ticket too?” Chris asked, nothing but seriousness in his voice.

You cackled, “her name is Robyn, Chris!” he joined you in laughter and you were grateful for the comedic relief.

“Yeah well Bluebird is more fun to say.” He chuckled back at you.

“I think Jisung would be really upset if you didn’t get her a ticket too,” you said.

“Yeah and Minho too from what I can tell!” Chris added.

“Remind me to tell you about Minho’s drunken escapades later,” you said, laughing even more at the memory.

“Oh god I can’t wait to hear this,” Chris said.

“Let’s just say it involves a can of shaving cream, the maknaes and Hard Carry by GOT7,” you said.

“Jesus Christ.”

[peaky-shelby]

What You’re Thinking

COLLENTION: The Passenger Tales

pairing: chris evans x first pov!reader

words: 1.800

summary: if I knew what you were thinking, i could stop this boat from sinking

warnings: SAD! Mentions of break up- some sort of a happy ending.

note: FINALLY! A NEW STORY! ITS BEEN SO LONG! this is part of my new collection the Passenger Tales. I’ll be writing many shirt stories inspired b his songs. He is my favorite song writer and he is so freaking inspiring. if you have any requests you can send them. I love youu xx

don’t forget to leave your feedback.xx

I heard him leaving his keys on the table like he always did and then dodger started barking, welcoming him home before I had any time to get out of the room. I figured since Dodger had gone already out to find him, I could continue packing my stuff for a few more seconds. I could hear laughter coming from inside, the familiar screams and howls that were always heard when Chris and dodger hadn’t seen each other for a while.

After putting the last shirt on my bag, I took a deep breath and walked to the living room. There I found Chris and dodger playing like little kids. Maybe it was out of instinct, because I wasn’t feeling happy but I smiled. This picture of Chris and dodger I had seen a thousand times and I guess my lips couldn’t hold back, they were used to smiling.

He noticed me only a few seconds later, his laughter died out. It kind of hurt seeing his expression change like that, so suddenly and so… badly. I knew that look like the palm of my hand, he’d give that look to interviewers that had asked the wring questions on press tours or when watching the news and heard some stupid shit from Trump. I never thought I’d be on the receiving end of that look but I guess I deserved it. Still, it hurt.

“All ready?” He asked. His voice was so low, for a second I thought he asked me if I was alright but then again I knew better than to think like that. He didn’t care about me, not anymore. He just wanted to get rid of me and I was making it so much harder for him.

I nodded.  I assumed that he wouldn’t want to hear my voice, so I made him a favor of staying silent. Or maybe he did want to fight so he could call me out on all my bullshit, so he could hate me without second thoughts. Now although he wanted to be mean with me, he was too much a of a gentleman to do that. He stood up, rubbing his pants to get rid of all the dog hair. Dodger kept glancing between me and Chris like a little boy, a kid, that couldn’t understand what was wring between his parents but knew something was going on. That knew the people he loved most in the world were about to beak- he knew he was about loose on of them he just didn’t know which.

“Do you need any help with the boxes?” I shook my head. I wanted to say no but then I thought about it again- As much as I wanted to I could never carry the box with all the books so I immediately said “Yes- I mean- I’m sorry I just- The books are very heavy. I can take care of the clothes.”

Chris nodded and walked past me to get in our- used to be- shared bedroom. Now the room felt like a haunted house. Memories and ghosts everywhere, in the walls, in the empty selves, in the clean floors that reflected my feelings- emptiness. Even the torn curtains that we had always said we should change but never did, hid monsters behind them. The green color of the walls seemed so scary now- I hated it. It used be the color we made love under, the first color I saw in the morning when I woke up in his arms. The color of our little hideaway. Now  It just made me want to throws up. I needed to get out here as soon as possible. But even after Chris was out the door, I stayed still. Frozen. Looking at the walls- thinking, hoping, my memories breaking like glass in my mind and my thoughts turning blank. I didn’t want to leave-I couldn’t. Outside I stood frozen but inside- I was mess, everything had crumpled like castles in the sand. I couldn’t hear, say, move, do anything. I didn’t want to. I felt like the haunting walls had grabbed me and held me prisoner.

I only realized Chris was back when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I turned around with a start and I must had looked like shit because his expression changed again, he didn’t look angry, he looked scared. No. I thought. I couldn’t let him feel guilty or sad for me. I rushed to the bathroom and threw some water on my face, breathing out all the pain in deep huffs.

He stood by the door, his arms crossed, I could see him from the mirror. Usually this was the part where he asked me if I wanted a cup of tea. He was looking at me with those tender eyes, that love that I had betrayed and I looked at him with the same guilt I had been looking at him for the last week. I wish the mirror would just break to pieces so we’d both look away- so maybe our empty looks would break with it but the mirror stayed as it was and so did we. I think maybe he was expecting me to say something and I was waiting for him to kick me out, make it easier for me. But neither of these things happened. “I’ll get the rest of the stuff on the car” he finally said “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

He wanted to meet me? He wanted to say goodbye? Dodger came in the bathroom and started jumping on me for attention.  I think he finally realized which one of the two parents he was going to lose. Me. He started whining and scratching my legs, begging me in his own way to stay. That was it. That was the moment I started crying, I hadn’t shed a tear yet and now the storm was unstoppable. I knelt down and started petting his ears while he hid his head on my stomach. I cried while I held him tightly. “I’m so sorry.” I whispered and he barked like he understood “I didn’t mean for this to happen- I wish I could take it all back”  I sniffed, dodger barked again “Maybe in the future-“ I pulled away to look in his beautiful eyes, holding his face on my hands, I smiled “Maybe we will meet each other again” I stroked his ear “I’m so sorry Dodger.” I hugged him again “Take care of me. He’ll need you most now. Be the good boy I know you are and in time we will  meet again. I promise” I kissed the top of his head and he barked one last time. I smiled at him and stood up.

All the boxes were gone from the bedroom except my handbag. I put it over my shoulder and walked out. I could hear Dodger following me but I didn’t stop, if I did I would never be able to leave. Out of instinct I grabbed my keys from the table but before walking out I stopped and looked at them, remembering myself, that these weren’t really mine anymore. I walked back and left them on the table, the sound of the metal hitting the wood sounded so weirdly loud. I stepped away, taking one final look around. I wiped my tears away, trying to clear my view of everything. The TV, the blue sofa, the tiny table in front of the television we used to play monopoly. The counter on the kitchen, which was unfamiliarly empty. The desk he sat to read his scripts. The mirror we would take pictures on- so many pictures. At least I still had those. I looked at dodger looking at dodger one last time “love you bud” I said and left. 

Chris was waiting for me in front of my car. He watched me as I approached him. While walking to him all I could think was how fragile our relationship was this whole time. How fragile all relationships are. I stopped in front of him, every inch of my body wanted to hug him, kiss him, make love to him- anything else than simply waving and saying goodbye- anything than this.Dodger was barking from inside, making this so much harder than it already was. I cleared my neck and went to move away but he stopped me. What he did took me totally off guard. He wiped my tears away with his thumb, I don’t know if he thought it would help but feeling his skin on mine like that- it ruined me and I let out a cry l didn’t even know I was holding. I tried to look strong in front of him, this whole time, so he wouldn’t feel guilty or sorry for me- but after that I couldn’t cope anymore, my walls fell. “I’m sorry-“  I said in between the tears “I’m not supposed to be-be the one to-to..” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. I could barely breath- He held me against his chest. His warmth embraced me like an endless ocean. I couldn’t feel anything else, I was sinking in him. “It’s alright.” His voice echoed, like it was coming from my imagination but it was real. He, was comforting me. Then I heard him sniff too, the same way I did. I realized he was crying too and I held him, hugged him as tight as I could.

“I’m really sorry” I said against his chest.

“I know” he replied 

.“I don’t want to let go.” I admitted and although I expected him to say something along the lined of ‘you should’ he said;

“neither do I.” and I wished we could stay like that forever. This was the most honest we both had ever been in our whole relationship. This was what it was to be with someone, being vulnerable, being true to your feelings, saying what you’re thinking because the other person can never know your thoughts and fears unless you do. He kissed the top of my head and pulled back. I held on his arms and we both looked at each other with teary and red eyes. Maybe in the future we will meet again like I promised dodger and it will be different and better then because we will be different and better at this. I didn’t want him to be the one to say it, I knew he couldn’t so stepped on my tip toes kissed his beautiful lips one more time and whispered

“Take care soldier” He smiled at the nickname and I let go. Leaving a part of with him and taking a part of him with me. I got in the car and started the engine. He waved at me and I smiled. “See you soon Princess” he knew I hated that nickname. I laughed and so did he.

“I hope so”’ I said before stepping on the gas and leaving him behind and In my heart I knew I would see him again. After years, Happy, maybe even with kids and we wouldn’t date then but we would be friends and love each other in our own silly way.

[annaraebananawriter]

How to Be Me

Yellow again everyone! Oh? What’s this? A oneshot that doesn’t focus on Dream? Wow, I didn’t think I had it in me. This one focuses on Blue from Underswap, who, in my opinion, can remember the RESETs.

Also, be sure to listen to this song, as this was inspired by it. Can it also fit original Sans? Yes. However, I think it fits Blue better, okay?

Fandom: Undertale, but specifically Underswap

Characters: Blue (Who belongs to P0pcornPr1nce)

Warnings: Implied Suicide, and I think that’s the only major one? Let me know!

Word Count: 1640

~oOo~

146.

Chara RESET the world 146 times.

Blue knew this how? Well, quite simply, he remembered, and he kept track. A shock, he’s sure. It’s true all the same. His brother knows about the timelines, the scientific part of them anyway, but he does not remember them.

Luckily.

Blue would not wish this on anyone. It’s a sort of hell, the worst kind of torture. He has to pretend every single day that everything is fine and not pointless. He has to be the hope of this world. The hope of his brother, who has already given up. Hope, hope, hope.

Hope, hope, hope.

Just keep hoping.

Though he wonders. How can he keep being the hope, when he barely has any left?

~oOo~

I don’t feel safe in this bed

~oOo~

Then they started the Genocide runs.

After a year of peacefulness on the surface. After they reached the ultimate happy ending. After his brother began to be happy, truly happy, for the first time in a long while. After Blue began to let himself hope that that run was the last, that they could actually live now.

Haha.

He was a goddam fool.

Before he opened his eyes, he knew what had happened. He tensed. If he opened his eyes, he was sure to be back Underground, in his old room. Tears slipped down his face slowly, dripping onto his pillow. A dry sob escaped him. He held his hands to his eyes, daring to look at the ceiling between them.

The blank ceiling, devoid of any glow-in-the-dark stars, gazed back at him tauntingly.

~oOo~

There are voices in my head

~oOo~

Voices of the past haunted his mind as he shook.

“C’mon, B-Blue! W-we got a morning j-jog to do!”

“Make sure you don’t burn the house down again, you two!”

“Bro, don’t worry! You’ll go great at this! After all, you’re the Magnificent Sans!”

They wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t leave him alone.

He curled up on his side, his hands moving to cover his ears as he mumbled ‘stop’ over and over again. Over, and over, and over…

Just like his entire life.

~oOo~

I’ve been talking to the dead

And the fear baptized me

~oOo~

Blue stared at the pile of dust in front of him, the orange hoodie gazing back silent and still.

He had played along when they left the ruins covered in faint dust and carrying that knife. He had acted like it wasn’t a problem at all. He knew what would happen if he didn’t. It seems he was wrong.

He wasn’t their target.

His brother had evacuated the town. Told him to go with, which he did for a bit, then he teleported away and arrived in time to see his brother’s head get chopped off. Yet, besides being on the verge of dying, his brother didn’t blame the human. He instead forgave him. Believed in him.

Now, he stood there, waiting for the tears to come. Tears for his only family member dying and leaving him alone. They didn’t appear.

It seemed Blue had run out of tears to give.

~oOo~

My kingdom turned to dust

And I watched all my riches rust

~oOo~

Slowly, he watched the Underground be purged of everyone.

Alphys, Napstablook, all of his friends. Gone.

Yet, he wasn’t surprised.

Blue watched the human continue to the castle.

~oOo~

Have I lost the Midas’ touch?

Or do sad eyes blind me?

~oOo~

They didn’t follow through.

Just when they reached the Final Corridor, they RESET again.

For the 148th time, Blue opened his eyes to a blank ceiling, a sinking feeling in his chest.

He didn’t cry anymore.

~oOo~

Over and over we go

Over the hills and the valleys below

~oOo~

223 times now.

They never want to finish what they started.

~oOo~

Oh, and it follows me, follows me home

And it suffocates me, hmmm

~oOo~

There was a numbness in his chest now.

“Bro, promise me you won’t try and fight the human?”

Blue doubted he could make it through one more incomplete run.

~oOo~

Oh, I can’t breathe

~oOo~

They actually entered the golden hallway this time.

It only took almost a hundred tries.

When they started forward, Blue was there to confront them. He forced a smile and spoke with a cheerfulness that made him feel sick.

~oOo~

I said oh, I can’t breathe

~oOo~

“Heya! I see you’ve been, uh…a bit busy, haven’t you? Well, anyway! I’ve got a question for you. Do you think…even the worst person can change? That everyone…can be a good person, if they just…tried?”

“…”

“Mweh heh heh! Well, here’s a better question…do you want to have a bad time? Because if you take another step forward, you are really not going to like what happens next.”

“…”

“Well, sorry brother! This is why I never make promises!”

~oOo~

All I know is I forgot how to be me

~oOo~

“It’s a beautiful day outside…flowers are blooming…birds are singing…on days like these…kids like you…”

“…?”

“Should be burning in hell.”

“!!!”

~oOo~

I don’t feel safe in these halls

There are bruises on the walls

~oOo~

Blue had once believed that killing wasn’t an option, no matter how desperate one became.

Funny how things change.

Funny how watching someone murder your kind over and over again, murder your brother over and over again, can make you think things differently.

It was almost funny enough to laugh at.

Instead, he looked away as another bunch of bones killed the human and restarted their battle.

~oOo~

There are bodies in the floors

And they breathe so loudly

~oOo~

103 times.

That’s how many times he had killed the human.

Chara was determined though. They wouldn’t stop until they killed him.

And Blue found himself longing for when that happened.

~oOo~

I wish I could move

Get up and walk right out this tomb

~oOo~

Leaving would be…troubling.

He would live, yes. But then he would be one of the only monsters left. He would be sentencing himself to a life of loneliness.

He didn’t like being alone. Never had.

So, he would remain here, blocking the path for this run and those in the future.

Because then he would be useful.

~oOo~

Do our saviours die too soon?

For my sins surround me

~oOo~

Chara got frustrated at death 200. They RESET again.

When Blue woke up this time, he woke up screaming. It was like all of his remorse, guilt and sadness that had abandoned him before had poured back into him. It left him shaking, his magic swirling around his room.

His brother hurried into the room, visibly worried and faintly scared. Just the sight of him calmed Blue down sufficiently, but he was still crying enough for Stretch to wrap him in a hug, rocking him and whispering comforts.

“It was just a nightmare,” he said.

Blue wished he could believe that.

~oOo~

Over and over we go

(Over and over we go)

Over the hills and the valleys below

(Over the hills and the valleys below)

Oh, and it follows me, follows me home

(follows me, follows me)

And it suffocates me, hmmm

~oOo~

It continued like this for a few dozen more runs.

Each time it RESET, Blue woke up crying and screaming. He knew he was making his brother worry, especially because he never woke up like this before the timeline started being messed with. He couldn’t help it.

At least he was no longer numb.

~oOo~

Oh, I can’t breathe

I said oh, I can’t breathe

~oOo~

They were in the hall again.

This time, Chara didn’t give up. They kept dodging with a sickening smile on their face.

Blue began to suspect that this human wasn’t the same one as before. He didn’t have proof, however.

He was beginning to get tired, too.

~oOo~

All I know is I forgot to be me

~oOo~

He offered them MERCY.

He was desperate.

They refused and attacked again.

Blue was beginning to consider just giving up and letting them kill him.

He didn’t find the thought of dying so bad, anyways.

~oOo~

Hallelujah

Where is my God, where are you?

~oOo~

Blue decided to use his special attack. Nothing.

He panted as he did.

He was, so, so tired.

Hm.

He could shut his eyes for just a minute, right?

~oOo~

Hallelujah

Nothing is pulling me through

~oOo~

As he closed his eyes, he thought he heard a voice saying for him to wake up, to stay awake.

Which was weird, as he wasn’t sleeping, even if he wanted to.

Another thing was that the voice sounded like Stretch.

Which was impossible and he was dead.

~oOo~

Hallelujah

When I don’t know how to be

Hallelujah

I forgot how to be me

~oOo~

Much to Blue’s dismay, he did fall asleep for a second.

He woke up when he heard Chara attack again, though.

He wasn’t prepared for when they attacked again quickly.

The pain as the knife cut him across the chest was extreme. It was greater than anything (physical, anyways) he had felt before.

As the human walked away and he said his final words, Blue had the strangest sensation of someone hugging him.

~oOo~

When he gave up the fight

A quick decision late in the night

~oOo~

As he felt himself dust and his soul shatter, the world RESET.

Blue woke back up in his bed.

Something was off this time. Something broke inside of him.

He decided to give up.

He didn’t have any hope anymore

~oOo~

That stayed with me for all of my life

I miss you so

~oOo~

When Stretch went to see what was taking his brother so long, all he encountered was a pile of dust toped with a blue bandana.

[yeunbins]

till dusk, till dawn

➳ summary: in apocalyptic world, is there a chance for you to find love?

➳ genre: apocalyptic!au

➳ a/n: gif creds goes to @hayoonbin! this was requested by annonue and i got too carried away writing it and uGh i love it so much!! kinda inspired by multiple zombie movies esp. the walking dead!

“mom, what are those?” your voice quivered in fear. You see your mom stagger up the stairs and run towards your room. she grabs a backpack from your closet and stuffs clothes, the first aid kit, and water in it. “mom answer me!” you cried out loud. “run and never look back” her voice boomed. You look at her crying face in confusion. she shows her arm which revealed a bite mark. you run up to her and sobbed. You felt her stroke your hair in a loving manner. “I love you, sweetie” she says truthfully as your mom feels herself turning. the bangs downstairs got louder and louder. “mom please” you sobbed. your mom suddenly grabs a pistol. “mom.. what are you doing?” you asked in panic. “after I fire this gun, promise me you will take this and run” she looks at you dead in the eye “no mom!” you tried to stop her but its too late. she pulled the trigger. “ MOM!!” you screamed in agony.

you woke up from your daydream when you heard a clunk at the other side of the store. In a hurry, you grabbed the canned goods and other necessities you needed and shoved them in your bag. you stealthily paced around the store to check where the sound came from. you peeked over at the shelves to see a zombie. Not wasting any more time, you threw your army knife at his head. you watched the zombie fall to the ground. you look down at the zombie with your knife on its head. “poor guy” you say out loud. you pulled the knife from his head and ran out of the convenience store.

running out the store, you were greeted with the fresh air with the smell of rotting bodies. you were used to this kind of lifestyle by now. killing zombies here and there, finding abandoned houses in the rich subdivisions or in the villages to sleep in. your main “home” as you called it was in the forest. you knew your way in and out of the forest in your town. though there are still some parts of it to be discovered. you are now headed to the front and you see a hoard of zombies ahead of your direction. you didn’t bring attention to yourself by walking cautiously. even if there was a zombie in front of you, you would just stab them on the head.

—

it was just a regular day at the treasure base. asahi, yoshinori, and jaehyuk were getting down from the watch towers from their night shift. byunggon calls everyone to the dining area for their daily meeting. “any news?” byunggon asks everyone who was still in a sleepy state. “nothing from the night before hyung” asahi reports. “hmm. I guess that’s like a daily thing now” seunghun comments.

as everyone was busy reporting the activities from the dag before, byunggon checks the members attendance. “where’s mashiho?” byunggon asks. “in the kitchen hyung!” yedam answers. byunggon noticed the meeting was awfully quiet.

“where’s jihoon, junkyu, and the rookie?” as on cue, the three stumble together at the door. “present.. for duty.. hyung” junkyu tries to hold in his laughter.

keyword: tried.

Byunggon massaged his temples at the three. “So, what are we-“ “hyung we ran out of food!” mashiho runs in. “NO FOOD?!” hajeongwoo exclaim in sync. “WHAT!?” junkyu screams in a high voice. “everybody listen up!” seunghun slams his fist against the metal table. all The boys stopped what they were doing. “thanks bro” byunggon bumps his fist with seunghun seunghun. “no problem” seunghun grins. “anyway, since we’re out of food, jihoon, junkyu, and the rookie here,” byunggon points at the three. “you three will scout for our food” he finishes. “great! we’re gonna go outside again” jihoon laughs, “and we try not to get killed yeehaw!” junkyu adds but ruins the mood. both leaders, byunggon and seunghun facepalm. “just head over to doyoungie and hyunsukie’s station to get your guns.” seunghun sighs. “copy that!”

“we’re in scouting duty again!” junkyu giggles. “ yep. but its our rookie’s first misson” jihoon coos at yoonbin, who just vaguely smiles a bit. “ aw come on, rookie! loosen up a bit” Jihoon throws his hand over yoonbin’s shoulder. “come on, guys. It’s not the time to—what was that?” rustling was heard. the three boys gripped their guns tightly against their chest.

—

you are now walking through the forest. just feeling the cold breeze hit your skin brings you relaxation or peace despite living in a apocalyptic world where the dead wants to eat you alive. your train of thought was cut short when you heard voices nearby. you dropped your bag filled with goods and hid around a tree.

“yo! who would leave this!!” a giddy voice exclaims. “be quiet man! you’re gonna bring us attention!” another voice hushed. “careful, we don’t know if there’s a catch” a deep voice interfers. “please” the other boy scoffs, “like there’s any other—“

he gets cut off by you grabbing a boy and holding a knife against his neck. 2 guns were pointed at you. “drop your weapons” you demanded. they slowly complied and dropped theirs. Even the boy you held hostage dropped his gun.

“who are you and what are you doing here?!” you pointed the knife towards the two boys who were holding their hands up. “i’m jihoon and thats junkyu” jihoon points to the guy beside him. “the one you held hostage is yoonbin” he then points to the boy you’re holding. “we’re scouting for food for our base” he explains.

“what base? there aren’t any bases here!” you raise your brow at the two boys. as you try to get information from them, you didn’t notice yoonbin who took the opportunity to flip you around. so now you’re the one who’s held hostage. “FUCK!” you yelped

“oH MY GOD DUDE DID YOU SEE THAT?! BYUNGGON HYUNG IS GONNA BE SO HAPPY AND SHOCKED” junkyu jumps. “guess we’re taking you hostage, lady” yoonbin whispers in your ear. “we’re gonna take your food if you don’t mind!” jihoon smiles as he grabs your little duffle bag filled with canned goods. “FUCK OFF THAT’S MINE” you trashed around yoonbin’s arms. “not anymore~” junkyu says in a sing song voice. “c’mon rookie. let’s head back now” jihoon commands. yoonbin pushed you harshly and now you four were walking to their base.

–

“you’re back early– whO IS THAT?!” jeongwoo screams over the intercom. “a stranger danger that’s what” jihoon mumbles enough for you to hear. you kicked jihoon’s ass which caused him to yell in pain. “DUDE! control her! she kicked my ass!” jihoon complained. “literally” junkyu joked. you snap your head at him and gave him a glare. “sorry” he says quickly. “you’re quite feisty aren’t you” yoonbin tries to give you a small talk, only for you to give him your best death glare. “cool” he replies.

you were now walking to the front door. their base reminded you of an army base with all the wires and metal doors everywhere. not to mention the watch towers and all that. “hyung! we found another civilian!” junkyu reports. “this time she’s a bit hostile” jihoon whispers over to byunggon. “where is she?” byunggon asked the two. “she’s with the rookie. oh my god hyung like he did a backflip and shit and the girl can’t do anything!” junkyu blabbered.

“it’s a girl?! hyunsuk and seunghun both piped up. “yeah–“ before jihoon could finish his sentence, byunggon, seunghun and hyunsuk ran off to where yoonbin was guarding you.

–

“you know, you could always let go of me right?” you smile fakely at yoonbin who’s still holding your arms together. “no can do. you’re hostile as fuck” he comments. “what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” you start to raise your voice. “this is exactly why i can’t let you go” he counters. you huff at your place and try to find something to distract him. you spot an ajar door. an idea came into mind.

“oH MY GOD LOOK THERE MIGHT BE A ZOMBIE” you screamed. yoonbin got startled, “WHERE?!” he looks around frantically. taking this as an opportunity that he’s distracted, you ran away from him. “wha– come back here!” he yells. you sprinted faster but he’s catching up.

‘for a rookie they’re talking about, he’s pretty good’ you thought to yourself. you were now running around a goddamn table. you hear yoonbin ‘tsked’ and slid over to your side. “FUCK DUDE IT AINT THAT SERIOUS” you cry out as you ran faster than ever.

he finally catches up and tackles you to the ground. “you aren’t going anywhere” he says coldly. “yeah i am” you argue as you fight against him. “do you ever give up?” he pants as he tries to block your attacks. “nope, never” you smile. suddenly you felt something prick you. “ow!” you pushed yoonbin off of you as you felt yourself getting dizzy. “wha– the” you slurred. the last thing you remember was falling and you feel yourself being lifted and you’re out like a light.

—

you jolt up from the hard bed. hitting your head angst a shelf in the process. “fuCK!” you cursed loudly. “she’s awake!” you hear an unfamiliar voice call out. suddenly, a group of boys scrambled inside the room. “oh wow” one comments. “oh no she has a bruise forming” another comments. “i got the ice” another announces. “damn rookie what did you do to her” one jokes and the whole group broke into laughter.

“who the fuck are you guys” you ask them. “damn, you’re right hoon. she’s feisty as shit!” a blonde boy exclaims. “told ya” jihoon’s familiar voice echoed in the room.

“hello! i’m byunggon. i’m the group’s leader. you’re at our base. you are another civilian we found around the area!” byunggon introduces himself. “here around me are the other civilians me and seunghun found.” he points to a tall boy who’s smiling like a dad.

“this is hyunsuk, yedam, jaehyuk, doyoung, yoshinori and asahi” he points to the boys behind him. “and you already met those three” he then points to jihoon, junkyu and yoonbin who was leaning against the doorframe.

“i know what you feel right now. so we’ll give you time to take in everything.” byunggon puts a hand on your shoulder. “mashiho, make her some food. yedam, give her an ice pack” he looks at mashiho and yedam who were standing outside. “got it hyung!” they say. byunggon stands up and walks over to jihoon, junkyu and yoonbin.

“you three, watch over her incase she plans anything funny” byunggon whispers to the three. “nah hyung, let’s just leave it to the rookie here” jihoon teases yoonbin. “fuck off” yoonbin rolls his eyes. junkyu winked at byunggon hoping he got the idea. byunggon looked like he was about to laugh.

“okay then, rookie, watch over her for tonight” byunggon smirks at yoonbin who groaned and threw death glares at the two idiots. “bye~” they waved as they ran for their lives after leaving the room.

you watched as mashiho placed down a plate filled with food. you looked at him and mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ he shows you a toothy grin and walks off together with yedam who shyly gave you the ice pack. they both ran off and closed the door right after. you were now laying down at the bed with your hand holding an ice pack against your forehead.

“for someone who’s gonna watch over me, you don’t talk much” you comment at yoonbin who’s just standing at the corner with a gun. “just doing what i’m told to” he replies. you scoffed, “yeah right, sure”

“why won’t we start with the basics, like introducing ourselves. hey! that’s a good idea” you open up a conversation. you hear yoonbin sigh, “fine. what’s your name?” he asks. you gasp and put your hand over your chest. “i thought you’d never ask!” you say. he rolls his eyes at you. “anyway i’m y/n” you smile at him.

after hours of just talking about anything, yoonbin hears your breathing go steady. indicating you have already fallen asleep. he quietly tip toes outside where he could leave you asleep in peace. he closed the door quietly as he could. suddenly, a hand grabbed his shoulder. “hey rookie” it was byunggon.

“hey.. uh hyung” yoonbin smiles politely at the leader. “i see that you did something earlier with our new comer huh” he smiles at yoonbin. ‘oh no, is this going somewhere’ yoonbin thinks to himself. “i need you to be with her for a few days. like give her a tour and all that shit. make sure she has something to do. is that okay?” byunggon asks. ‘fuck’ he thought. knowing he can’t say no to gon, he agrees. “okay” byunggon smiles widely, “ey! that’s our rookie! get some rest, you have a long day ahead of you” byunggon pats his chest.

yoonbin walks through the long hallways as he goes to his room. his room was kinda small but it has a bed and that’s all what matters. his neighbors are mashiho and seunghun. who are both busy everyday. he drops his gun on the floor, he opens the small closet and changes into his hoodie and sweats. he crawls to his bed, making himself comfy. once he’s adjusted, yoonbin sighs before being knocked out cold.

[featherypromises]

Uncomfortable

Hi everyone:

Here is another older plot idea from forever ago. Hobi isn’t feeling well. Fortunately someone else is great at caretaking… He just doesn’t have much of a bedside manner. This is based of irl events: https://youtu.be/FLnNdBDQW2A

Uncomfortable:

Sickie: Hoseok

Caretaker: Yoongi

Hoseok woke up feeling groggy and congested; not at all like his sunshiney self. He sniffled thickly and cleared his throat. He touched his throat gingerly, feeling the slightly swollen flesh where his neck and chin met. He must be coming down with something.

He sighed. This was not a good time for him to get sick, (not that there ever really was one) but, here he was. He looked at his clock rubbing the sleep from his eyes. 7:15am, that was abysmally early. They had a photoshoot today too for their upcoming tour. Hoseok ran his hand through his rose tinted hair and rubbed his nose.

The photoshoot was due to begin at 10am, he had about 2 hours to become his normal self so that the shoot wouldn’t be compromised. He couldn’t let the others know either. After his bout with pneumonia late last year, his every cough and sniffle had been fussed over by the others, especially the maknae line. There was too much at stake with the next tour looming ahead. No free time to push back a photoshoot because one member had the sniffles. It was the first week of February already. The next 2 weeks would be a blur of dance practices, costume fittings and song hearsals.  

A shower first, he decided. A hot one, to get rid of this miserable congestion and wake him up. The others wouldn’t be up for another hour at the earliest. This was the best time to go, he could take his time getting ready. He sniffled  futilely, unable to breathe through his nose even for that small purpose.

He grabbed a simple change of clothes, a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a dark hoodie, and crept from his room. He got to the restroom and opened the door onto a sleepy and dumbstruck Yoongi.

“Yah! Hope!!! Shit! Could you knock?!?” he squawked. He was using the restroom for its traditional purpose. Hoseok flushed bright red. 

“Doors have locks for a reason, Hyug!” he retorted, embarrassed. He closed the door again quickly, and stifled a quiet cough into his elbow. He would just have to wait. He had thought for sure that none of the others would be awake yet, but he hadn’t counted on Suga-hyung’s penchant for not sleeping when he was in work mode.

While he was still kicking himself, Yoongi emerged from the bathroom. Yoongi rubbed his face with both hands, only half awake. Hoseok stammered out a soft apology for barging in. Yoongi looked at him oddly. 

“Yah,... are you… you know… okay?” Yoongi asked hesitatingly. Hoseok blinked at him, surprised. How the hell?... No, it was a guess… It had to be. Probably he was referring the sassy sentence that had automatically fell from his lips before he had even considered what he had said. It wasn’t like him to be that snippy with Yoongi. 

Hoseok plastered a smile onto his face. “Yeah… It’s all good.” He avoided saying anything that would give away how congested he was, “I have to shower, if that’s okay?...” 

Yoongi’s eyes lingered a moment longer on Hoseok’s face. 

“Okay, Hope… I’ll see you later…” 

Hoseok nodded and ducked into the bathroom closing the door, but saw Yoongi tilt his head to the side as though he was thinking hard. 

He tried to put the uncomfortable thought that his closest friend might be onto to him out of his head. He spent nearly a half an hour under the hot water, feeling his congestion begin to loosen. His straight, chiseled nose almost buzzed with the change in pressure. He leaned against the wall with both hands and planted his feet. His breath came in short, breathy hitches.

“Hh-HAHT-Schhiiih! Eh-HEH-EH-HUH-Chhiii! ESHiiiih! Ugh…” He felt his nose drip and wiped away the mucus with the side of one hand, rinsing it clean under the stream of water. He sniffled and was pleased to find that he could breathe  through his nose again. The steam and sneezes had finally released the mucus and pressure that had plugged up his head. Hoseok sighed, relieved. Maybe, just maybe, he would get through this cold without a lot of unnecessary drama.

He went back to his room, wiping a slightly runny nose. He went to his desk to begin to apply concealer under his eyes… his dark circles were very prominent and his nose was beginning to get red around the rims of his nostrils… ugh, it was dripping again. He automatically reached for the roll of toilet paper that he had put there to deal with make-up spills. 

It wasn’t there. He frowned, sniffling. Hoseok’s hand hit cardboard instead. He glanced over. Tissues?!? When had he bought those? His nose decided that it didn’t matter. 

“Eh-Heh-HAHT’Schiiii! EhTcchhiii!” He snatched two from the box, and blew his nose. Whoa! these weren’t normal tissues, they were too soft… He looked at the box. He hadn’t bought these… Where had they come from?!? He decided that Seokjin must have purchased the wrong ones the last time he was at the store.

Hoseok applied enough concealer and foundation to cover his red nose and tired eyes. He sniffled, luckily his nose was just runny and hadn’t gotten stuffy again. He looked to the clock again, and jumped.

“9am!!! When did that happen?” Hoseok gasped and raced out of his room. Everyone else was dressed and waiting downstairs. 

“What happened Hobi-yah? Did you oversleep?” asked Seokjin with a laugh.

“Yeah, I just have to go brush my teeth. Do we have enough time?” He was nearly breathlessly and cleared his throat with a wince. No one seemed to notice… well, almost no one. Hoseok was sure that he saw Yoongi looking in his direction for an instance.

“You have time. “ Yoongi said softly, “Go.” Hobi smiled gratefully at his hyung and went. He quickly began to brush his teeth, but somehow the minty toothpaste started to irritate his throat. Hoseok coughed and choked. He fought to stay quiet and eventually stopped, but his throat ached now and his voice was failing. That would be a dead giveaway.  

He let out a frustrated huff of annoyance and put up his toothbrush. A red bag caught his eye. Cough drops? Cherry cough drops? No way! This really was impossible! Seokjin-hyung had vowed never to purchase Cherry flavored cough drops, saying that they weren’t as effective as the lemon and honey variety. And there, behind the red bag, was the yellow bag of the most revolting flavor of cough drops ever created.

Something was weird here… super lotiony tissues and the only flavor of cough drops that didn’t make him want to throw up? What the heck? He shoved one drop into his mouth and a few extras into his pocket. 

He went back out to the others, looking at them curiously. He couldn’t just come right out and ask them. He would just have to watch for any odd behavior. 

They all piled into the van and headed to the studio. They quickly got into their outfits and had their makeup applied. Hoseok’s photoshoot was with Yoongi. Hoseok was dressed in a black t-shirt under an offwhite jumpsuit with pink roses that matched his hair Yoongi’s black hair was contrasted with the white shirt over a black t-shirt and kneeless black pants, with a black ribbon for a choker that dangled from the side of his neck.

Hoseok was stunned by the set. It looked as though they were inside a cloudbank or a cotton candy machine. The surrounding colors were pastels of pinks, purples, and blues. Fluffy piles of cloud like material was everywhere. In the center was an elegant wicker egg shaped swing lined with pillows. Yoongi-hyung took the left side and reclined in it for his solo shots. Once those were finished, Hobi joined him sitting on the right. 

He sighed, he was getting congested again. He sniffled and realized that he had no choice but to breathe through his mouth. At least his nose wasn’t dripping and ruining his makeup. 

Yoongi shifted away during the shoot, trying to lean away from him. His smile was so fake it was nearly see through. Finally the photographer asked him what was wrong. Without preamble, Yoongi pointed to Hobi and said, 

“He must have a severe cold. His breathing is rough." Hoseok's eyes widened, and he pointed at himself, 

“Mbe?” Yoongi nodded,

"It's making me uncomfortable."

"Sorry, it's because I have a cold." Hoseok admitted reluctantly to the staff. He blushed and began to entertain himself with playing with the cloud-fluff. He shaped it into hearts, made himself a hat, and eventually resorted to making mustaches for both of them. 

Yoongi started to laugh and thawed out. They completed the shoot and Hobi moved on to his solo shots. Once he had finished, Hoseok sought Yoongi out. 

“It was you, wasn’t it?”

“What are you talking about right now?” Yoongi muttered awkwardly. 

“The tissues and the cherry cough drops. How did you know I was sick? Hell, how did you find the time to get those?” Hoseok asked, feeling sure he had it right. It must have been Yoongi looking out for him all along.

Yoongi blushed and mumbled about something.

Hoseok persisted, 

“What was that?”

“WHEN YOU'RE SICK IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE!” Yoongi repeated loudly.

Hoseok knew Yoongi well enough to read between the lines.

“Thank you, Hyung! Those things really helped!” He grinned and rubbed at his nose. Yoongi fished in his pocket and pulled out a travel tissue packet and thrust it at Hoseok without even looking at him. The older rapper’s face turned a bright pink. 

Caring was caring, even if it was uncomfortable.

[baroquebucky]

autumn leaves

A/N: HI GUYS IM SORRY FOR NEVER POSTING AGHHH I’ve been so caught up with school i took the SAT and lost all my brain cells,,, bUT i was listening to + by Ed Sheeran and i was so soft thinking abt Brian May talking about the stars with you ahhh so here’s me badly writing about Brian May hah pls request i promise I’ll get to them <3

After so many months your beautiful boyfriend was coming home. He’d been on tour for so long and you missed playing with his curly hair every night before bed, trying to braid it only to give up in fear of tangling his gorgeous locks. You were sitting at home calmly eating some cereal, hair messy and eyes droopy. You heard some shuffling around in the hall of your small apartment but paid no mind. Probably your new neighbors, you couldn’t wait to complain to bri about how loud they’ve been since they’ve moved in.

Too engrossed in your not so interesting cereal as some Queen songs played in the background, softly humming along. As you went through the motions of dancing and singing along, you used your spoon as a makeshift guitar to copy your boyfriends impeccable skills.

“I mean at this rate you’re gonna replace me in the band, love” you spun around dropping your spoon and choking on the milk in your mouth. “Bri! Jesus you scared me” you yelped running toward him and quickly wrapping your legs around him. Hugging him so he wouldnt leave again.

“I’ve missed you so much pretty boy” you spoke softly as you kissed his cheek, wasting no time to run your hand through his hair. “I’ve missed you too sweets” he spoke as he kissed your lips softly. He gently put you down as he grabbed his suitcases and walked into the room to set them in tie shared bedroom. As he unpacked you finished your routine, giddy to spend more time with you curly headed boy.

“Are you doing anything later?” He questioned from the bedroom as you walked in to lay on the bed. “Not that i know of, why?” You huffed as you belly flopped on the side of the bed that wasn’t being taken up by his bags. “I have a date idea is all” he gave you a quick smile before finishing putting his clothes in their rightful places.

“And what is that Mr. May?” You quipped sitting up and crossing your legs, looking up at him with a sweet smile. His heart rate picked up, god he had missed you. He missed humming to you so you could sleep, playing with your hair, trying to teach you to play guitar only for you to get frustrated and give up every five minutes.

He tackled you with a hug as he layed on top of you. “You’re gonna crush me with your lanky body Brian! Get off!” You giggles trying to push the tall man off you but failing and he kissed you all over your face- sloppy wet kisses at that. “I’ve missed you so much my angel” he spoke, adoration laced in his every word. “I’ve missed you too, more than you can imagine” just as you were about to kiss a loud bang against the wall caused you to jump and accidentally kick Brian in the stomach, he fell off the bed coughing trying to get his breath back. “holy shit I’m so sorry baby, these neighbors suck, they’re always so loud and arguing i hate them” you ranged as you quickly got off your shared bed to help your beloved boyfriend up. “‘S fine Y/N, but next time they’re loud and ruin our moment, we’re gonna have a problem” he spoke, face completely serious. You smiled and placed a kiss on his jawline humming in agreement.

After spending the rest of the day talking about all his time on tour and catching up (even though he had called every night) he went to shower and change into other clothes for your date. As Brian showered you changed into comfortable clothes since he had said to wear that for the date. When you finished changing you sat on the couch waiting for you boyfriend to finish changing and fixing his hair. “I think you take longer than i do to get ready honey” you laughed as he exited the room and grabbed his car keys. You got off the bed as he grabbed your hand placed his arm around you. “It’s hard work to look this good” he replied smiling.

You had been driving for 30 minutes and you wondered where you were going, there was nothing around. “Where are we going bri? There’s nothing here?” You questioned as he told you to wait in the car while he stopped at a grocery store. After waiting for a good 15 minutes he came back putting everything in the back seat. “No peeking!” He scolded you when you tried to see what he was doing, “fine! jeez i can’t even look anywhere now” you huffed playfully as he got back in the drivers seat, leaning over to kiss you. You leaned your head against the window slowly drifting to sleep as Brian had his hand on your thigh.

“Y/N, darling get up.” Brian’s soft voice woke you as he slightly moved you to help you out the car. “Where are we pretty boy?” You yawned seeing the blanket on the ground with some snacks in a basket. It was dark and there were no city lights. You heart rate picked up, you always loved when he talked about the stars and had always begged him to take you star gazing. He had promised to do it when he came back from tour- and always the gentleman of course he remembered. He laughed as the realization hit you and your sleepiness gone as you bounced around happily.

“What are you waiting for come here! Tell me about the stars Dr. May!” You yelled excitedly settling on the blanket and laying down waiting for Brian to sit down so you could put you head in his lap. He quickly took his spot, looking at you in adoration.

He pointed at a set as he traced the stars “that one there is Canis Major, this one over here is my personal favorite, oh! This one is Ursa Minor and over there is Ursa Major. There’s Orion..” he continued to point out all the stars, naming each of them, you couldn’t help but feel your heart ache of happiness and love for your space boy. Each one he named it’s like they lit him up with pure joy and passion. You stared at him and looked back at the stars.

You saw a shooting star, “look bri! A shooting star, make a wish!!” you said sitting up quickly and clinging to his side as a chilly breeze passed. He looked at you as he picked you up and placed you between his legs to wrap the blanket around you.

“I’ve already got everything i need with me love” He looked down at you. “I’ve always thought the stars were beautiful, but sweets you’re definitely the brightest star in my life.” Your eyes began to gloss over as you sat up and wrapped your legs around his waist. “People always say we find beauty in nature because we think it’s all for us, i never believed it. But being here with you, the stars have never shined so brightly, and it’s for you, it’s always for you” as he finished his sentence he kissed you.

It was different this time from other times, always full of love, passion, happiness but now nervousness. He shuffled around as he pulled out a small velvet box from his pants. “Y/N you’re my girl and i love you with all my heart, i never want to lose you. You play with my hair and manage to not get your hand stuck in it, you supported me ever since smile and never once lost faith in me, you love my music and everyday you surprise me with something new. It’s always an adventure despite however many miles away we are. I’m always at home with you, i can look up at sky and i can talk to you about everything for hours and you don’t get tired of it, you help me with everything and love me unconditionally. And i never want to lose you. You’re my North Star. I promise that no matter what happens I’ll always come back to you, you’re always my guiding light. The love of my life. Will you marry me?”

You sat there almost sobbing as tears flowed down your face, you could see his hands shaking slightly, you nodded you head quickly choking out a small yes as you threw yourself on him burying your face in his neck. “I love you so much Dr. Brian May” you whispered as he slid the ring on your finger, glinting in the moonlight. “And i love your Mrs. May.”

[exo-sow]

You’re my first - Chanyeol

A/n: I’m so happy that I could write a first time but for a guy !! I almost turned it into a fluff... Fuck Park Chanyeol almost had me this time ! - Requested by anon.

Genre: Smut, Virgin!au

Warning: Blowjob, fingering, a looooot of fluff

Words: 1879

Your day has been terrible, your classes were awful and all you wanted was to find your boyfriend at your apartment and spend a good evening with him. After opening the door you heard him singing along the music he was playing on the guitar, a little ballad get out of his mouth. You sat on the couch next to him admiring him with loving eyes as you waited for him to finish his song to kiss him. You were so in love with him and seeing him playing guitar in a tank top after a rough day at college woke something inside you up. You felt desire and your eyes did back and forths between his lips and his hand moving along the neck of the instrument. He took you out of your thoughts when he talked to you after he finished singing.

“How was you day baby?”

You saw his chubby cheeks as he smiled and you propped yourself up on his lap craving for comfort.

“Horrible… but I don’t want to talk about it, I just want to be with you.”

You felt his big arms wrapping you and his face fall on your neck, his hot breath against your sweet spot. You moved back just enough to kiss him. Feeling his body underneath you was a torture by now and you needed him. You didn’t want a usually make out session, you ached for more today. You pushed your tongue on his mouth and titled your head to deepened the kiss, one hand on his jaw and the other exploring his body across his t-shirt. His hands stayed calm on your waist trying not to make you uncomfortable you thought. However starting grinding against him made his grip on your body tightened. Getting hard made him let a little moan against your lips and you took it for an encouragement. You pulled away just enough to take his tank top off. You kissed him again with much fervour and tugged on his lower lip.

“Park Chanyeol I want you to take me now.”

You bent again to place kisses over his neck when he stopped you, worry in his gaze.

“Wait ! Wait Y/N !”

He slightly pushed you back to see your face.

“What? Is there something wrong ? Did I make something you didn’t like?”

You were getting worried too as you saw his state of panic.

“No! No absolutely not but it’s… it’s just that… this makes me a little nervous”

“Oh… I’m sorry I thought you wanted it too…”

You went to get off of his lap when he caught your legs to make you stay.

“No that’s not what I meant… I want you too but… humm”

You could see he was awkward as he tried not to look at you in the eyes and prefered lingered his gaze on the walls while stroking your legs as he talked. You reached for his chest to soothe him.

“Babe why are you so nervous about it?”

You looked concerned about him as your touches de-stressed him a bit.

“It’s just that I don’t want to disappoint you… because you’re the… I mean… you will be my first.”

You felt him sighing and shifting awkwardly still avoiding your gaze when he pronounced these last words. You felt bad for putting him in this situation but you didn’t want to see him like this anymore.

Without a word you moved two fingers to his chin and you bought your lips to his in a loving kiss accepting his confession.  

“Chanyeol?”

You talked between kisses.

“Hmm…”

You stopped the kiss to look at him directly in the eyes, your hand playing with the hairs on his nape.

“You know I love you and I never thought you could disappoint me at any point.”

“I love you too Y/N… and I really want you too.”

You kissed him again smiling again his lips.

“Take me to bed Chanyeol.”

Your eyes came back full of lust as you looked waiting for him to lift you. When he stood up you felt his semi hard-on against your core and you gasped in surprise. You found his sweet spot while you were kissing and biting his neck and his hands pressed tighter on your ass.

He sat on the bed keeping you onto his lap and kissed your neck. You pulled away to remove your shirt. Afterward you pushed his chest to make him lay down on the bed. He was all there for you, shirtless and beautiful. You bent to let a trail of kisses along his abs, biting occasionally. You were starting to feel your underwear getting wet at the idea of being underneath his body. He opened his eyes is surprise as you stood up to take off your jeans. You could see his own pants getting too tight for him. Chanyeol got back sitting and took your waist and let his mouth exploring your stomach, his hands moved to your ass again giving a firm squeeze which made you gasp.

“Oh my god you’re so beautiful. What a lucky man I am.”

He looked at you with a smile on his face and you responded with a grin while getting on your knees. His attitude changed suddenly and his eyes widened.

“What are you doing babe?”

You smirked at yourself as you shifted your fingers to his boner. You took an innocent look and you brought the zipper of his jeans down.

“I’m helping you with your pants.”

You removed not only his pants but his boxer too catching a gasp of relief from him.

“Lay back babe. I want to take care of you.”

Still with wide eyes, Chanyeol laid on his back hesitantly watching you keep going. You were now satisfy to be able to make your boyfriend feel good. You felt his thigh muscles tensing under your lips and you noted his hand already fisting the sheets in apprehension. You decided it was enough of teasing as you finally let your tongue traveled from his base to the tips of his shaft as he tried to suppress a moan. You took it as a challenge, you wanted to hear him tonight and you wrapped your lips around him applying pressure on the slit of his tips with your tongue. You did little back and forths as your hand came to massage his balls. At this moment you felt his hand on your hair lightly massaging your scalp while you took him further. You tried not to smirk too much when you heard a loud moan the first time you took him entirely making him press against the back your throat. You stayed here giving kitten licks to his shaft trying not to gasp. You moved again, faster this time, feeling the wetness ruining your panties. You were as much aroused as he was but before you could do anything else you felt his hand pulling at your hair.

“Y/N stop...”

You removed your lips and looked at his chest rising up in rhythm with his breathing.

“Sorry but I was going to cum…”

You hid your little smile of proud and climbed to the bed next to him. He didn’t waste time kissing you and you guided his hand to your soaked panties.

“Chanyeol I want you to touch me.”

He moved his hand over your underwear teasing you a little mostly giving him time to get used to this new thing. After a few rubs, his fingers went directly to your folds and it was your turn to let out a gasp. He was scanning your face as he touched you, trying to know where you were the most sensitive. He noticed a bound of nerve and applied pressure on it which made you moan and close your eyes and he kept playing with your clit, rubbing it.

“Fuck Chanyeol I want more, I need you.”

At this words Chanyeol let his fingers explore lower on your crotch and entered you. You pictured them, his long fingers against your walls. Your eyes were shut and you felt him breath against your chest kissing above your bra.

“Oh my god you’re so wet babe.”

“It’s because of you. You make me feel so good Chan…”

His fingers curling in your heat cut you off and you finished your sentence with a moan, arching your back. You half-moaned trying to speak to your boyfriend.

“Babe I can’t wait anymore I want to feel you inside me... please...”

Hearing your desperately words he removed your panties and reach your face to kiss you. You arched your back to unclasp your bra and you moved your legs around his waist craving for contact. You could feel his cock on your slit and you looked at him. You saw his eyes full of love but also apprehension. Your arms went to his nape and back muscles trying to reassure him. He bent down and kiss you while pushing inside of you. The kiss didn’t last long as he gasped, eyes tight shut.

“Oh my god you feel so good, you’re so fucking tight.”

After what seemed an eternity he started moving. You felt his long and thick cock brushing you. It was the first time you felt somebody that good. Your gasps began moans as he started to pound in you faster. His eyes were still shut trying to concentrate of the feeling of having you wrapped around him, you were hot and sweet and this only thought of you could make him cum in a second. You clenched your walls around him and he let out a loud moan and opened his eyes in surprise. He knew he couldn’t last longer so he moved his finger against your clit looking to feel you clenching again. His sloppy thrusts and his finger made you see stars and when you opened your eyes you saw him smiling at you. His smile faded when he closed his eyes too. You felt him twitching inside of you and you were now moaning in unisson. He kept thrusting slowly to milk him entirely watching you breathing fast and trying to calm down from your orgasm. He removed some sticky hair from your face and you found his goofy face again.

“Are you okay?”

You smiled back and you raised your head to kiss him softly.

“I’m more than okay Chanyeol.”

“I’m sorry if I was too fast or anything but you felt so good I couldn’t do better.”

You frowned at his comment and bought a hand to his cheek stroking gently.

“No, no stop you were perfect. I swear I’ve never felt someone as well as you and I’m so glad you trusted me to be your first time. You didn’t disappointed me at all.”

At your words Chanyeol found back confidence and moved again. It was this time you realised he didn’t pull out. He took you by surprise as you gasp a little bit.

“I didn’t feel I was perfect, maybe I need a round two to improve myself.”

His smirk let you understand what he was planning as you felt him thrust sensually again and you knew that this night would be a long night.

Reblog, like and/or comment if you found it great for you ! :) 

[lynneshobbydomain]

4 AM Honesty Collections 1/?

Author Note: You can also read the story on Wattpad. 

Summery: No one wants to admit the honest truth. Which is why she's miles from anywhere to ask questions. Which is why he keeps the phone close to his bedside and answers no matter the time or whose calling.

"Do you believe in the cliche 'you die when it's your time'?"

Hearing her voice made Kore relax back into the pillows and he felt a small smile curve. "It makes sense to me." He said after a moment, adjusting the phone a bit so that he could talk easier. He could hear rain pitter-pattering down, but he couldn't be sure if it was from outside or from her end. If it was from her end, he hoped that she was inside and watching it from the window. He could imagine her on the balcony, her head tilted to look up at the clouds to watch the rain drip down. He could imagine her rocking back and forth on her feet. All the way to her tippy-toes, and right back to the edges of her heel. "I think that there are things that we do to rush our time. I think that we should try to slow down our time as much as we possibly can."

He yawned and rubbed his eyes as he listened to her hum a measure of a song. He pushed the covers off of him, shivering. He had been hot when he went to bed, but now the wife beater was just a little less than he'd like to have worn. At least he was wearing pants and was a bit comfortable. "What about you?" He asked, breaking the silence. "Do you believe in it?"

"I feel like it makes sense," Kanna spoke as though she were tasting every word before she dished it out. Careful and methodical, as though one wrong sentence, one wrong word could end everything. "I think we're on the same page here."

Kore rubbed his eyes again, and pushed his long hair out of his face since it came out of it's ponytail. He headed for the door and opened it as quietly as he could since it could creak. He glanced down the darkened hallway to his roommate's door. He felt a heavy twinge in his chest, but locked it away. He pulled the door shut behind him and headed towards the cramped kitchen. He turned on a light and it blinded him a little since the kitchen was white and reflected the light. He could hear was her soft breathing, the soft drops of rain, and his soft banging and mugs clinking to get the one down from the cupboard.

"Coffee?" She questioned. Was she in disbelief?

"I'm going to need it for this conversation." Kore answered, sleep still laced in his voice.

"I remember when you used to hate it." She hummed a song that he barely recognized, but couldn't put the finger to the name. "It was hot chocolate or nothing. Whip cream only."

"I was such a child then."

"I remember when I used to drink coffee." Her tone changed, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was.

"You don't anymore?" He listened to the Keurig work, the sprout waterfalling coffee.

"Hot chocolate nowadays if not tea."

"White chocolate mochas are pretty much hot chocolate that's been laced with espresso." Kore teased.

"I don't think that's how mocha's made." Her voice took on a doubting lilt to her tone. He could almost see her finger pressing up against her chin as she tilted her head to the side. He could almost see her rocking a little faster as though it'd help.

"I'm not a barista, but I think that's how it's made." Kore said slowly, grabbing the mug from underneath the Keurig and headed back towards his room. "What made you stop drinking coffee? Did something happen?"

"I just no longer like the taste of it." Kanna replied, and for some reason that bothered him. She had been all about the flavored coffee drinks. Anything that was overly sweet and obnoxious was usually in her hands. The cafe that they frequented used to look at her in absolute horror and dread despite her tipping well.

Kore wondered what they'd think that their crazy customer was no longer crazy. Then again, it was easy to get creative with hot chocolate and tea. She just found a new outlet for it, that's all. "I see."

"Coffee though," Kanna mused thoughtfully, humming the words like a song. "That's a bit strange for Kore-Kore isn't it?"

"Is that really what we're going back to, Kannahana?" Kore deadpanned. "I don't know. I just found that I did like the taste of it."

"I bet yours is black and bitter."

"Psychic." As if to prove a point, he sipped the coffee. "It's black."

"Eugh." He could imagine the face. Her small tongue poking out of her lips. Her eyes screwed up shut and her eyebrows furrowed. Her nose would be scrunched up like a rabbit. "Sounds awful."

"You," his tone was pointed, "don't get to say anything about my coffee."

"I guess that's fair." Kanna sighed, humming a defeated tune. "I can't argue anymore with that kind of logic."

He arranged himself to sit back down on the bed and glanced out towards the curtained window. Should he open the blinds to see if it was raining here? He hadn't heard anything outside, but he was paying attention to the phone call. "Are you warm?"

"As warm as I can be. Are you hearing the rain?" Kanna asked, but she pressed on as though he already spoke. "The rain's pretty at night. They reflect the neon lights, and the puddles seem to catch stars and memories. It washes away all of the bad things and make it all clean. It's...refreshing really."

"Only during the summer. The winter's cold." Kore sipped the coffee.

"Hmm. Is this you thinking that it's summer where I am?" Kanna asked.

He'd never ask her for a hint. "Not sure. Don't care." She laughed and he relaxed back towards the pillows. "I miss you."

Her breath hitched. "Oh." She made a noise in the back of her throat, "I miss you." She cleared her throat. "I'm on the balcony."

"You're outside." He commented. "You are cold."

"A little. I'm wearing a nightgown if it helps."

He prays it's not the thin one, but knowing her and her lack of self-preservation, it was. "Stay safe."

"It's all I can do." She hummed another few measures of a song. "Kore."

"Hm?"

"You're loved." Kanna's voice had never been so firm before. "I love you."

He closed his eyes and he breathed. For just one moment, he could imagine her right there next to him. He could imagine her taking out her Switch, turning it on to play some light rounds of Pokemon before going to sleep next to him. He could imagine her pressing up against his arm, leaning her head against his shoulder. He wondered if her hair was long or if it was cut short. He wondered what wild color it was. He wondered if she changed her eye-color again with some costume contacts. He wondered if she carried a cat for a backpack.

He could ask her all of these things if he wanted. She was right there on the other end of the phone, yet he was afraid to open his mouth and beg for a picture. It wasn't fair to her, and it wasn't fair to him. "You're loved." He repeated and he could hear her giggle on the other end. "So, so loved, Kanna."

"Is it late where you are?" She questioned after a moment. "I know I woke you up, but I can let you go to get some sleep."

"I barely had my coffee." Kore pouted at the phone. "By the time I'm done drinking it, I'll be up anyway."

"I ruined your sleep schedule." Kanna sounded disappointed.

"Did you?" Kore countered, "or did I for answering the phone?"

"You'll always answer the phone." Kanna wasn't wrong. His phone was always off vibrate and was always at his bedside regardless. "...How are you?"

The question took him a little by surprise. It wasn't that it was unexpected, but they didn't usually try to ask that question. It was too raw. They were too raw. "...I don't know." He was too honest.

"I'm still lost." Kanna answered without having him ask. "I don't...know where to go from here."

She was still chasing something no one else could see. Kore could respect that, he supposed. "So, you'll be to the wind for a while longer?"

"I'm not sure. I'm thinking about coming back before taking to the wind again."

Kore's heart soared, and then it crashed and burned. "Coming back here, yes?"

"Hope so."

So no. Kore let out a soft sigh. "Frustrating."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's...not you."

"It is me." Kanna protested. "I'm making things harder than they really are. I know that you want to tell me to stop running away."

"But you and I both know that's not what you're doing." Kore sighed as he took a large drink of the coffee. It was a little less hot than it had been moments ago. It still burned his tongue a little, but it was enough to keep him awake. "That's not what you're doing at all."

The tone was wrong. The beat was off. Kanna's breath hitched and he could hear a soft whine from her. Neither of them made a move to admit the truth. It was too raw. They were too raw. He was too honest.

She was too broken.

"Do you think the rain washes things clean?" Kanna finally asked, trying to switch topics.

Neither of them were up for a fight, not even over the phone. "I think it dampens them, gives a little bit of a clean slate." Kore replied slowly, "I think that it's purifying, the air's always crisper and the way things look always seem brighter."

"Yes!" Kanna was probably rocking back and forth on her feet again, pleased that the topic changed work. She was ecstatic that he was playing along, instead of pressing buttons. He learned a long time ago that buttons weren't meant to be pressed. "They do. I always feel a little more alive when the rain's done, but I also feel so...comforted when I watch it fall. Like there's something romantic about it."

"There is." Kore agreed and she made a few notes of triumph. "There really is. Hey...Kanna."

"Hm?"

"I still am very much in love with you."

[purplesurveys]

581

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from? They’re my sister’s; I borrowed them for the semester because these shorts are conducive for my PE classes, but since we already finished the class last week I should probs give it back to her soon. Do you find smoking unattractive? I used to, but now I can’t really say that I hate it. Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? They did, back in Grade 6. They took away two of my very private diaries and ever since then I never wrote down my thoughts in a notebook. I never did get the two back. Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I thought I could, then my friends made me try a margarita a month after I turned 18 hahaha. Is there someone you'll never forget? There are loads of people I haven’t and will never forget; this is a very broad question.

Do you miss someone right now? Yes. Last time you were on the phone? Just to use it? Maybe some four minutes ago. But the last time I was on a call – if that’s what you meant – was last night. Do you get distracted easily? Yeup. Earlier I was doing a reading, picked up my phone for a short break, then never realized I was on my phone for the next two hours. Have your parents ever caught you drinking? They never ‘caught’ me; whenever I do drink I let them know/ask permission. I respect them enough to do that because I know how alcohol had nearly ruined our family in the past. Do you think flirting is cheating? Uhhhhhhh yes. Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with? I could never hate Gab. Who was the last person you sat next to in a car with? It was my brother.  Is your room messy or clean? Fairly clean. I had a general cleaning of my room not too long ago. Do you drink tea? Not the hot or herbal kind. I only have iced tea occasionally. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Sort of? Kind of? Idk it’s either way. I’m content that I’m home but I wouldn’t mind being out drinking right now too. What are you listening to right now? I can only hear the electric fan’s white noise. I don’t feel like listening to music. Where did you get your last bruise from? I don’t remember my most recent bruise but it probably has something to do with PE and me hitting the mat/floor way too hard. Are you looking forward to anything? The weekend. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? The fact that I stared at this question for a good minute must mean I haven’t thought this in a while lmao. That’s gotta be a good thing! Whose house where you last at? Other than mine, Gab’s. When someone says 'we need to talk', what do you think: If I know that that person doesn’t have a problem/potential problem with me, I just assume it’s something light. The only time this was said to me and it turned out to be something bad was my mom gathering us to say that our grandpa died, so I don’t really have a bad experience in general with that sentence. Tell me what's on your mind? I would have been able to sleep in tomorrow if I didn’t accept a 10 AM commitment and now I’m hating myself loads. It’s exhausting to accept an executive position sometimes. Will you be in bed before 11 tonight? I doubt it; it’s already 9:55 and I just started on this survey. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? It’s fine, but it’s not super solid or anything. They don’t know anything about me other than what I post on Facebook. How much money did you spend today? I spent P45 on an egg and cheese sandwich just to get through my hunger this morning, and my orders from online shopping came so I dropped P1,120 on that hahaha. In other words, I’m slowly GOING BROKE Can you see a cat from where you're sitting? Nope. I can see a dog, though. Who was your last text from? My professor for a history class. I’m the beadle in this class, so he texts me reminders from time to time. What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? It’s fairly new so it hasn’t acted up ever. The only bad thing that happens to it is me dropping it D: What's been upsetting you lately? I am so fucking burned out from this semester and just wish it’s over already. Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment? Nope, everyone’s safe. Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? Nopes.

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? The living room couch, I think. Does it take a lot to make you cry? Not at all. I’m an easy target. Do you have a dog? Yes, the goodest and bestest. Do you like to wear pants? No, I hate jeans and wish I had more shorts than jeans. How many people do you trust fully? I trust everybody I know, is the thing. I feel like my loved ones and friends deserve that. But I can cut off ties with them very easily if they abuse that trust. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do? I use my phone but make sure I’m hidden behind my laptop. If that’s too risky, I’ll doodle whatever lyrics on my notebook (if I’m writing). Otherwise I’d just check my social media on my laptop. What’s your favorite color out of these five? Green, Yellow, Blue, Pink: Pink. What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? “...Already?” I set my alarms this morning for 4 AM, 4:30 AM, and 5:30 AM. I woke up at the 4 AM alarm, went back to sleep, and the next alarm that woke me was the 5:30 one. I must have turned off the 4:30 one too but I was probably half-sleepy and groggy AS FUCK because I don’t remember turning that one off at all. Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? Yeah. I kinda have to because the way I run during the day depends on the amount of sleep I get. Ever like someone older than you? I haven’t. What's your favorite amusement park? I don’t really have any. Universal Studios in Singapore was great fun though. Are you cold at this very moment? A little bit. I’ve since turned on the AC and also have an electric fan directed at me, so I’m quite chilly. Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet? Depends on my mood..sometimes I’m talkative, and sometimes I just want to be on my laptop and be undisturbed. Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? Other than incompetent groupmates from past projects who temporarily made my life a living hell, not really. How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 7 to 10. Nothing more, nothing less. What do you think Avril Lavigne is doing at the moment? This question is so creepy. What's one fear are you most paranoid about? Not getting a nice enough job that doesn’t pay enough. Have you ran into an old friend recently? A couple of weeks ago I bumped into Mils; I was headed to my car and she was headed to class. It was super brief; we just said hi and she complimented my water bottle (which I have since lost lmao). Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? Most likely. Could you go a whole year without cursing? I doubt it. Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV! I gave that up like, 6 years ago lol. That’s no problem for me now. Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? No, I haven’t. As of this minute, what is going through your mind? I want to play Mario Kart Tour again but I have to finish this survey first. Does anyone know your password besides you? Gab and my sister. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? I dunno, I’ve never been in that situation. Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes. Are you a patient person? I’m patient with people more; I don’t like the other aspects of waiting, like traffic or waiting in line for something. Could you go a day without eating? I could, but it would suck and it would hurt and I’d probably pass out. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? More than, I guess. I mean I didn’t plan on making it to 21, so I guess everything I do from here on out is more than what I had planned. Are you a forgiving person? No. I prefer holding grudges. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH YES What is something you disliked about today? My anthropology professor instructed us to watch a film over the weekend. Completely forgot about it of course, and crammed my viewing the night before even though I was already tired. Today, I walked into the room to find out we were gonna watch the exact same movie as a class anyway; meaning I could have rested up last night lolololololol but guess not When's the last time you had a headache? A week ago, I think. Is there anything that you are craving right now? A burger from Pound :( And samgyupsal, ughhhhhhhh. What was the first thing you thought of this morning? How I fucking hate my Wednesday schedule. What part of your body hurts right now? I’m good at the moment. Eyes are starting to feel heavy though. Is there anyone you would like to just appear at your front door right now? Not really. Gab’s working tonight and I wouldn’t want her to drop everything just to surprise me at home. What is something that you realized today? I really dislike my course. I had a very productive afternoon today and started work on each of my final requirements for all my classes this semester – I met progress with every single major requirement, except for those of my journ electives, about which I could really not care less. Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be? No. Do you remember who your first crush was? Yeah, my 5th grade science teacher. I remember feeling ashamed to disclose it on these surveys back when I was new to this, but it’s been like ten years and I’ve gotten old as fuck and I can just spit it out now lmao. Ever walked into the guy's bathroom? I don’t think so. Have you ever cried from being so mad? Sure. What's a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? Binoculars. Do you have a bad temper? I can, most especially on my period. How many wives or husbands do you want? Wow, just one please. What's the closest pink object to you? My keyboard cover. Do you consider yourself lucky? No. Whats on your bedroom floor right now? A single sock that I’m too lazy to pick up for now, and my dog. Do you trust anyone? I trust lots of people. What's your favorite color gummy bear? Maybe red? I like strawberry/cherry flavored gummies. What's the last movie you saw in the theater? Portrait of a Lady on Fire. If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be? Duterte. Wish you could be somewhere else right now? Meh, yes and no. What color is your iPod? I don’t use it anymore, but my Nano is blue. What should you be doing right now? Sleeping maybe? Or at least settling in. Do you like roller coasters? Nope. One famous guy you would marry in an instance? Does it have to be a guy? I got nothing.

[omg-foreverfilledwithweird-posts]

Not My Type, Part Five (Bucky Barnes X Reader)

Summary: After catching Bucky in the gym, tensions are high and slowly rising as you watch him train on the punching bag. You get a little help from your friends and are begrudgingly pushed in the right direction. Then a masquerade party takes place for Wanda’s birthday and the two of you are at odds when others begin to flirt with you, leading to a series of heated moments. Author’s Note: Okay... But yeah, this one is a doozy and will leave you hot and bothered hehehehehe have fun. I kind of rambled on with this one, lots of words, but it’s super sweet and sappy and ugh. And thank you, @ugh-supersoldiers​ for the inspiration you’ve give me I love your writing sm, super freaking talented. UGH anyway enjoy! FC; Rachel McAdams @rosegoldhome

Song Choice: Can’t Help But Falling In Love (cover) by Twenty One Pilots 

Warnings: fluff, MAJOR fluff, angst, jealousy, PDA, the end leading into smut the next chapter ;)

PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK, I LOVE IT

You walk into the training room and set eyes on Bucky taking out his frustrations on a punching bag, doing perfectly timed and damaging hits and high-kicks. You watch him move gracefully and dangerously, stepping quietly into the room so he doesn’t hear you arrive while you continue to gaze openly at his flawless, fighting skills. His face is set in a tense, stone cold expression, clearly from something heavy weighing on him, but instead of open communication, he does this. Spending alone time in the gym with no one around at five in the morning, the sun barely being up in the empty room. His loud groans and noises waking you up, but you don’t mind, enjoying the view playing out in front of your eyes. And your eyes only. The white tank sticking to his chest from the sweat, beads of it dripping from his brow and down his temples, tan skin glistening, and hair pulled back in a bun, a few messy tendrils falling over his azure eyes. Bucky grunts hard when the bag swings back to him and he kicks it roughly in retaliation, causing it to fly off the punching bag and burst on the floor. He walks over to where his duffel bag lays and begins unwrapping the bandages around his knuckles, breathing heavily, not looking up but he’s smiling softly when he says, “Hey, doll.” You jump slightly, hands flying behind you to grip the doorway before you send him a shaky smile when he turns around to look at you. “Hi,” you breathe, suddenly aware of the sports bra and yoga pants you’re sporting and how his eyes are subtly washing over the work-out ensemble, before tearing his gaze away from you. There’s been tension between you two these last few weeks, with you confessing to him that you still love him after all these years and his emotional barriers keeping him from saying it back. Even when he wants to. It’s hard for them and you know that, he’ll do it in time. It’s to be expected with all that he went through, and it pains you whenever the horrid thoughts come to mind, what those people did to him. Because you’re the first girl he’s fallen in love with, and it’s painful, needing you with him at all times, heart slowly aching when you leave the room, stuck thinking about you and waiting for you to find him in the tower at all hours of the day, and missing your angelic smile when you’re not around. It’s you, you, you, in his head, all the time, and he can’t get you out as the old memories are being triggered, floating to his mind. So, needless to say, he’s very happy to see you in here right now with him, and he may or may not have made more noise than usual to wake you up. Of course you know that, though.  He risks another glance in your direction, “You training today?” he asks, faking nonchalance when his fists are still clenched while he puts back his things. You nod, cheeks red in embarrassment when you offer him a sweet smile. “Yeah, uh... someone woke me up,” you flit your eyes to him. “So, why not, right?” “That someone must have wanted to see you...” he says quietly, looking at you too, smirking. “I say that’s a pretty good plan in that respect, very sweet, actually.” “Oh, yeah,” you nod, laughing softly. “Waking me up and making me grumpy early in the morning is a great plan, darling,” you say, realizing you walked the length, nostalgic, southern twang from your youth seeping into your words, rolling your tongue on the last word.

He tenses at the pet name and a blush falls over his cheeks, tinging the tips of his ears uncovered by his hair and shown to you. You smile at this and look at the floor, cocking an eyebrow and looking at him out of the corner of your eye.

“I missed you calling me that,” he half-smirks and your heart skips a beat.

You capture your bottom lip between your teeth and he watches the action adoringly, “I missed being able to,” you say softly, finally letting Bucky peek into the pain you’ve gone through being without him. 

He looks at your eyes as they become glassy and he frowns, stepping towards you, “Please don’t cry, angel, not over me.”

You laugh weakly, wiping at your eyes like it never happened, “I’m not- I’m not going to cry, I spent too much time crying.” You shake your head, “I’m done with that.”

“Good,” he finally crosses the distance between you two and wipes the stray tear that’s fallen on your cheek, thumbing over your skin. “I don’t like seeing my girl upset.”

“Your girl?” you grin at that. “What makes you think you have me...” you say defiantly, tilting up your chin and brushing your lips over his, “Darling?”

He giggles adorably, blushing hard again, “Because you love me,” he smiles.

“Hm,” you smirk. “The jury’s still out on that one.”

“Then why are you blushing when I touch you, doll?” he whispers in your ear, making you gasp when he kisses your temple. “You’re a tease, I’ll give you that, but you’ve never been good at lying.”

“And you are?”

“Oh, yeah, you can’t survive in this world if you aren’t.”

“Well, I’ve made my way just fine.”

He quirks an eyebrow in disbelief, “Have you, though?”

You scoff and take his wrist in your hand, spinning him around and pinning it behind his back, dropping him to his knees on the mat.

He chuckles darkly, “Damn, doll, you’re stronger than I remember.” You let go of his hand and smile smugly at him, “And you’re weaker than I remem- Shit!” an arm’s wrapped around your waist and you’re being flipped over before you can finish your sentence, hitting the mat hard. You laugh breathlessly, having the wind knocked out of you from slamming your back against the floor, (y/h/c) spread around your head like a halo, how unfitting. “We always end up in this position, don’t we, Barnes?” you turn to look up at him, hovering over your body, positioned between your legs, and smile shining down on you, brighter than the sunlight flooding through the wall full of windows. “I’m afraid you’re becoming predictable, Sergeant,” you tilt your head, curling your lips intentionally and accidentally rolling your hips against his, creating an agonizing friction and making Bucky inhale sharply, holding himself tightly. “Interesting,” he leans down and brushes his lips, teasing the skin up your neck, and burying his nose in your hair, inhaling the familiar scent with a small smile that you mirror back to him. “You used my shampoo, doll?” You turn to him, bumping noses in the process and smiling delightfully when you bite your lip, feigning innocence and covering up the new rosiness in your cheeks, “I-I have no idea what you’re talking about, James.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he smiles, kissing your neck. “I think it’s cute,” he tickles your neck with his lips and you throw your head back in laughter. 

“I’ll have to do it more often, then.”

He looks at you sincerely for a moment, searching all over you like he’s attempting to find the answer written on your skin, sheepish all of a sudden, speaking before you can ask what’s the matter.

He clears his throat and your lips are only breaths apart, “Doll... I-” “Hey! Nuh-uh, that’s my employee you have pinned beneath you, Sarge,” Tony steps into the room, motioning for him to get off of you. “There will be none of that in my training room.” Bucky sends you an apologetic smile before pushing himself off of you, and pulling you up with him, crashing into his brick-wall like chest, out of breath.  “What... what were you going to say?” you ask him under your breath so only he can hear. He shakes his head, “Nothing, doll. I’ll-uh,” he forces a smile to assure you but his eyes betray him. “I’ll get out of your way.”

You sigh, “Bucky?” you call after him as he gets his stuff and walks out of the room.

Tony looks sympathetically towards you, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”

You licks your lips thoughtfully, and shake your head, smiling gratefully at your friend, “No, you’re not. How long were you watching us, Stark?”

He rolls his eyes, “Too long,” he shivers theatrically, sending you a wink. “I just came in here to tell you about the masquerade party tonight for Wanda’s birthday-”

“Which was my idea,” Nat says with an annoyed expression when she walks into the room, gym bag string over her shoulder. Then she looks at you with a sweet smile, mood brightening when she sees you, “Hi, (y/n), someone’s up early?”

“And who’s paying for this idea of yours?” Tony glowers at Natasha and she only smirks, her response to almost anything, especially when you’re pretty and skilled enough to get away with everything.

“Just because you have the money, Stark, doesn’t mean you get all the credit,” she finally replies. “And you, (y/n), haven’t answered my question.”

“She got up for Grease Lightning, or in other words,” he says, folding his arms over his chest, Black Sabbath shirt and all, leaning against the doorway. “Her Bucky Boo Bear, her darling.”

You bury your face in your hands, “You heard that?”

“Oh, doll,” he taps his temple. “I hear everything.”

Nat squeezes your shoulder, “Come on, (y/n), don’t be embarrassed, Wanda and I’ve even got you a dress.”

“Yeah, good plan, get Heavy Metal even more sexually frustrated,” Tony rolls his eyes. “That poor guy hasn’t gotten laid since 1945.”

“But, really, (y/n), whatever you wear,” Nat looks at you seriously, softness in her tone. “Bucky will still be as madly in love with you as he was in the 1940′s, I know that much. And I didn’t even have to be there to tell you that now. I am a spy, after all, I pick up on a those kind of things.”

“And I know that look, sunshine,” Tony smiles, giving you his best heartfelt and supportive voice. “I’ve given that look. And I’ve received that look. You need to hold onto that and never let it go.”

Nat looks taken back when she smiles, “That was actually very sweet, Tony.”

“I expect gratitude and affection in exchange for my wisdom,” he says, holding his arms out and gesturing for you to come hug him. You roll your eyes and walk over, wrapping your arms around your dear friend.

Nat shakes her head, “You’re not getting any hug from me.”

You grab her hand and pull her in, Tony capturing her in the embrace and she sighs, sinking into it and patting your back reluctantly.

“What!” Clint appears in the hallway. “There’s a group hug in here and I wasn’t invited?” he jogs into the room, joining the hug and squeezing you into oblivion.

Steve peeks his head into the room, “Group hug? I heard group hug,” he grins, walking in and wrapping his arms around everyone, picking almost everyone off the floor. 

“SOMEONE SAY GROUP HUG!” Sam yells from down the hall.

Tony pushes everyone off and out the door, “Everyone scatter!”

~~~

The dress Wanda and Nat picked out for you is extravagant to say the least, off the shoulder, a baby blue color that brought out your (y/s/c), a cinched waist with a 40′s style flared waist, the floral train hitting the floor far behind you, long, ringlet curls down your shoulders, lips painted deep red, and eyes covered with a black, lace mask, adorned with gold and silver accents. If only you knew the eyes all are on you as you’re far too distracted searching for the man you want to see the most. 

Bucky had already caught sight of you on the other side of the room, a movie moment plain and simple, he knows it to be you immediately even with the mask. His eyes widen when he sees how beautiful you look, stunned and speechless, falling over your curves, swearing everyone else in the room has blurred away. He has to pinch himself to figure out if he is only dreaming, that he’s gone to heaven and among an angel. When he feels the sting in his flesh arm, he’s brutally aware of his staring when you finally find him. 

You meet his eyes over the swarms of people crowding the room, soft, orchestra music filling the entirety of the tower and easing everyone into finding a partner and dancing. You haven’t been dancing since the 40′s, because, in the words of your old, good friend, Peggy Carter...

You’ve simply not found the right partner yet. Or in your case you both have and are too afraid to ask. 

You bite back a smile, but it’s useless, you’re full blown grinning while he’s looking at you, words not finding either of you when you set eyes on each other.

He sports a raven blazer and slacks, fitting in all the right places you think, hair slicked back elegantly, pulled at the back of his head in a knot, deep blue mask bringing out his eyes, and you too, are at a loss for words. The outfit all pulled together... with a baby blue tie.

You turn around to see Tony, Nat, and Wanda raising their champagne flutes in your direction, clinking the glasses together and smiling to themselves, smug as all hell.

“Who told?” you mouthed to them, frowning.

“I might have let it slipped what color your dress was,” Wanda tells you over the music and chattering people, smirking over the rim of her glass, pink lipstick staining.  

“Make him work for it, (y/n),” Nat smiles.

“If you’ve got it, sunshine, flaunt it!” Tony says, too loudly.

Peppers saddles up at his side and he instinctively wraps an arm around her waist, “Meddling in other’s love lives again, I see. How’s that working out for you?”

“Rather well, actually,” he grins at her and presses a chaste kiss to her lips. “It’s what got me you, right?”

“I’d say it worked out nicely, then,” Pepper smiles and leans her head on his shoulder.

“Hey... um,” Bucky taps Steve on the shoulder, never taking his gaze off you as you grin at something Tony says. “Steve, I’m going to... I’m gonna g-go get a drink.”

Steve looks to where he’s looking and shares a knowing look with Sam who’s already smirking at your exchanging glances. “Alright, Buck, go get a drink.”

“Yeah because someone’s thirsty,” Sam says, taking a sip of his drink for good measure.

Bucky sends him a death glare before making his way over to you, visibly tensing when he sees all the men unable to take their eyes off of you in that dress. Already he has a love/hate relationship with it, and like he said, he knows it to be selfish and possessive, not telling you he loves you and yet he can’t fathom the thought of someone else’s hands on you besides his own.

He takes a glass of aged whiskey from the server’s plates and continues walking to you while you’re preoccupied with scoping out the party, still eyeing the people who are making crude movements in regards to you. 

Bucky’s grip tightens on his glass and it breaks within his grasp, shards hitting the floor and concerned, wiry looks are drawn to him. 

You search the party room as you idly swirl your straw around your cherry coke, finding women glancing in Bucky’s direction, whispering among their friends and giggling like little school girls with a crush, all that he doesn’t notice. You feel your blood boil beneath your blazing skin, attempting to hold it in until you see a man smile to his friend and cross the room to you.

Bucky shakes his head, his own insecurities rising to the surface and getting the best of him, as he storms out of the ballroom. 

You watch him leave and turn to Wanda, the reason you’re at the party in the first place, and she nods with a small smile. You return it graciously, hold up the ends of your dress and run out into the hall, heels clicking the tiled floor as you sprint in uncomfortable shoes to find the man you love. 

The back door leading to garden outside stays slightly open and you sigh a breath of relief, rushing out the open door and biting on your lip hesitantly, hoping he’ll even want to see you. 

“Bucky?” you say, voice low and quiet, shaking slightly. “Babe, I’m-”

Lips crash into yours and arms are wrapped around your waist hastily, kissing the life out of you. You meet a pair of familiar, azure eyes and yours flutter shut, you bring your hand up to run a hand through his hair, the familiar dark locks making your heart soar when you come in contact with them. Kissing you has become like breathing to him, so sweet, so familiar, and he needs it to survive, his heart will stop without it. His lips make up for the talking his mouth never does.

Your back hits the wall roughly behind you and he kisses you hard as you wrap your arms around his neck, greedily taking him in. Mine, mine, mine, you both think, pulling one another closer until there’s barely even room for air. Then you taste the saltiness of a tear into your kiss, breaking away to see his that his eyes are glassy.

“Bucky...” you whisper, cupping his face in your hand. “Bucky, baby, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

“I’m so sorry, doll,” he shakes his head and his voice breaks towards the end, holding your face in his hands as yours falls to your side. “I’m sorry that I’ll never be good enough for you. I’m sorry I haven’t had the guts to tell you how damn much I love you.”

“Bucky,” you breathe, bringing one of his hands to rest over your heart. “This is yours. My heart... only belongs to you. I love you. I’ve loved you for almost a century,” you laugh softly, bringing a smile to his lips. “I’m not going to stop, I love you for all that you are and all that you can be. No one else.”

His eyes are all over your face and his heart practically leaps out of his chest while his lips twitch in a small, tender smile, “Really?”

You nod, grinning, “Really.”

Bucky takes your face in his hands once again and presses his lips to yours, causing your knees to buckle out from beneath you and him to wrap an arm securely around your waist to steady you. The kiss is slow at first, kissing each other languidly and softly, holding each other close for fear of the other disappearing. But no, they’re both here, hearts thumping into one. 

His other arm runs down your side and hikes up your gown’s skirt, the kiss growing feverish and fast-paced, needy and wanton. He pulls you up and you straddle his hips with your legs, wrapping them around his lean waists, and your back hits the wall haphazardly once again, throwing all caution to the wind when he catches your bottom lip between his teeth and tugs. He swallows your moans and tightens his grip on your bare thighs, half-moons delving into the flesh. He smiles against your lips and you tangle your fingers in his long hair.

“I love you so much, doll,” he whispers into the side of your neck and he continues to say in between kisses down your neck and over your ample chest, scattering his lips all over your open skin and whatever he can get to. 

He sucks hard on your neck, biting, nipping, lapping his tongue over the marks he’s making to soothe the spot, reveling in the noises leaving your swollen lips as he continues to slide his hands up your thighs, slowly reaching where you need him most. 

You lean your head against the wall and let out a breathy laugh followed by an adoring smile, “Your room or mine, James?”

He looks up at you and wears a big, goofy grin, peppering kisses all over your face and making you giggle, “Whichever’s closest, doll.”

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

08 - Confession

This chapter's songs:

Off and On; SALES

Heaven; Clairo

A Pearl; Mitski

- Y.L. Perspective

   "Hey."

   The word is distant yet close, making me gasp awake. When my eyes open, I'm in sight of the foggy wet window causing pitter-patter in front of me. 'It rained.' I thought, looking out to the concrete that was soaked. Not that it bothered me; rain was one of the many things that I enjoyed.

  Coming back to reality, I notice that the scenery outside is too familiar, and not long after do I realize we're parked right outside of my house, waiting for me to awake. At first, I'm completely tripped out that I had teleported from the skate park to here, but it was just a generous favor from Sugawara.

  And suddenly, everything from last night comes to mind.

  After Suga had kissed first me, we'd spent more than enough time on each other's faces. But the last thing I remember is sopping down on my seat and falling asleep, worn out, instead of coming up with an excuse of why I made the stupid decision of making out with him. There was not one thing fair about me knocked out in his passenger seat while he reflected on my behalf as well.

But thankfully it appeared Koushi didn't care all that much. Getting me home was one of his priorities this morning.

  "What time is it?" I yawn, stretching out my limbs as far as they can go, but that's only to where the seat's leg space ends.

   "It's ten AM. But it's a Saturday, so you should probably get some rest today. You went to sleep pretty late last night, and you didn't look very comfortable." He describes, leaning on the door window, staring at the pouring rain. It enlightened me that Suga cares about my rest, but what about him? From what I understand, he stayed up just as long as I did. If not, longer.

  So, I decided I should offer something that I was hoping wouldn't make him uncomfortable or jump to conclusions. "Uhm...if you're tired then you can come in too, and we can just stay here for the day until you wanna go home, " I tell him, mirroring his action, and resting both my head and arm on the window.

  The invitation seemed to surprise him, for he had quickly whirled his head towards me, asking, "Wait, are you sure? Y-your mom won't be mad that I'm over? Cause– you know..." he trails off, anxiously pressing his palms together, and looking downwards. It came off that he felt almost ashamed that we shared an intimate moment, which wasn't something that he should be responsible for. But even so, I still wanted to spend more time with him. If I'm being completely honest, I wasn't sure if it was because I liked him, or because he was such a refreshing person to be around, but he made me feel better than I had felt in a long time.

   "Suga, I'm sure. Look, if you don't wanna hang out that's fine. I was just asking because you seemed tired and said you don't wanna be home right now." My eyes snake from his chest to his eyes, hoping it would give him an understanding that I really wanted him to come inside. "So, do you wanna?"

  Sugawara gulps in nervousness, clearing his throat before speaking. "Uh, yeah. Sure. But we better hurry up, or we'll get soaked."

- K. S. Perspective

   I wait behind her light brown painted door, running my hands through my damp hair. Small noises of clatter are heard, while I uncomfortably stand outside of her room, waiting for her to open up. To be honest, I wasn't sure about being casually invited into her house after last night. All that ran through my head was, 'did she even like it? Does she feel uncomfortable? What if she wants to go further?

Should I confess right now?'

Finally, her door pops open, revealing her in a change of comfortable clothing and the room behind her. "Uhm, come in," she says, pulling the door wider for me to come in. The room consisted of regular decorations I thought she'd have: anime and music artist posters, a random guitar, a few color-changing lights, and a bean bag chair. "I know it's weird and all. I guess I just haven't gotten the chance to redo my room."

"No, it's—it's fun," I tell her, sticking my hands in my pants pocket. I had to say, it'd been quite a while since I'd been in a girl's room so casually. Not that I was jumping to conclusions, but I was hoping she'd want to discuss things over what had happened. That way I could make it clear to her that I wasn't playing around with her feelings.

  She shuffled towards her messy bed, turning towards me, before falling backward onto it. Her loud yawn and stretch echo throughout the room, as well as the low music that she had playing on a home speaker on her dresser. As much as I wanted to feel relaxed, I hardly could. I felt almost scared to stand in her room alone right after we had made out. All I could think of was running my hand against her skin, and rubbing my lips against her hot neck. Now she was casually laying on her bed, looking back at me with absolutely no expression.

  "Come, come, " she says, holding out a hand towards me, which makes my anxiety advance to an entirely new level. But following her orders, I hesitantly take it, quickly being pulled to where she laid. The sudden action has me wide-eyed and rested on my side, facing only Y/n. Though I tried hiding my uneasiness, she eventually broke my cover with a simple sentence. "I feel so tired. Don't you?"

I nod, before gulping almost too loudly. However, Y/n keeps her gaze on me, gradually making her eye rests longer. Feeling the dirtiest in the room, I begin to distance myself from her stature, removing the dark paid cover-up that spread over my shoulders, as well as a few accessories I had and tossed them on a small desk at the side of her bed. Then, I took out my phone, deciding it was best to talk to Daichi about everything; I was hoping my friends weren't angry I had ditched them so suddenly.

—

Daichi

How was the party?

Weren't you there?

I left earlier than expected

Around what time?

12:00 AM

That's not that early

Anyways, it was fine I guess

Everyone was being stupid and drunk

I know, good thing I didn't stay so long

Miya said you left with Y/n-?

Yeah, but I just took her out cause she wasn't having a good time

Well, I just took her to some park where we spent the night in my car and I drove her home today

Now we're just napping in her room

I thought you said you wanted to see how things went with her :(

Don't worry we didn't do anything

At least not something extreme

What'd you do??

Uh

We just kind of made out for a few minutes

But it wasn't bad or anything

It was nice

Pls don't tell anybody because I'm not sure how to tell her yet

That you're in love with her?? Ahh ok-.-

I'm not in love with her,

Koushi, you told me you've never wanted to want to make somebody feel loved the way you did Y/n.

Well

Uh

Whatever

Are you coming to the practice game today?

Oh yeah

What time

In like thirty minutes

Are you serious

But I needed to talk to y/n

I was gonna wait till she woke up

Sorry man

Just leave her a note you'll be back?

Yeah, ok

----

As Daichi had told me to, I decided to find the nearest paper and pen that sat lazily on Y/n's desk. But instead of tossing a few words to excise my absence, I thought of doing something very stupid and risky.

I left a love letter.

At first, I felt as if I was being nothing but a coward for not telling her personally. What would she think if I had just run off and left a confession for her to run through my herself? But after realizing that I could let her think things through, I thought it was the best idea I had that entire year.

And so, I wrote my feelings down quicker than ever imagined, fitting in what I could to convince Y/n of my love for her.

To y/n,

This is one of the most idiotic things I could have done to tell you, but I have a practice game and I can't afford to miss practice right now. As you know, I'm on the edge of having my position taken.

Y/n, after about a week of knowing you I realized that you make me feel like a better person. When I hear your voice or get the benefit of making you smile, it feels like I'm on a high off of you. You're the most beautiful, talented girl have ever met in my life. Without you, I don't think I could have lasted this first week.

I remember the feeling you gave me when we were younger. Even if you didn't talk to me, or didn't acknowledge my existence very much, I still wanted to discover every corner of you. I thought I wouldn't have ever met someone that I was so passionate about like I was for you. And when our first year of high school ended, I felt heartbroken by the fact that I didn't get to tell you how I felt about you. How your essence made my heart warm, how your skin makes me crave touching you, how much space you filled up in my small brain.

When I had seen you on the bus that one morning, I couldn't believe how much you've grown. I know this is personal for you, but you were in a bad state, and it caused me pain to see that you felt alone, and you didn't know how much I cared for you. So when I saw how much you were taking care of yourself, it brought me to hope that I could do the same. If you didn't already know, after my mom had died, I started creating bad habits and ruined my self-portrait. I felt like there was no way out, and that I was useless. But then I met you, again. You brought me to become a better person for myself, Y/n.

I don't want to rush you into anything, but I feel like I should confess to you that I'm in love with you. I've never had the feelings I have for you. Every day I find myself thinking of how lovely you are. And after what had happened last night, I realized, why wait? Why wait to tell you this the way I did in my first year? If I did, then I'm gonna run out of time. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything, Y/n. I think I'm scared that you won't look at me the same, or that you think I'm a burden to you. But at this point, I think I've run out of space to store what I feel for you.

Overall, I love you, Y/n. Please, do me the honor of being with me.

Love, Koushi.

—

I'M SO SORRY FOR SUCH A SHORT CHAPTER YOU GUYS<\3. But I hope you appreciate it. Please comment and note bc it really helps

As always, I love you guys

- estrxlar