#The Obi is a bit concerned

[saphronethaleph]

Fluid, Dynamics

“So, uh…” Anakin said, looking around him. “This is weird.”

“Is there something wrong, Master Jedi?” the Kaminoan asked, concerned. “I was going to welcome you to Tipoca City.”

“Oh, I’m actually not a Master,” Anakin replied. “My Master’s busy, I’m just…”

He shook his head. “Sorry about that, it’s very unprofessional of me. I know I’m supposed to be professional, but being around this much water is very odd for me.”

“Being around water is odd for you?” the Kaminoan repeated. “...is there an alternative? I know Kamino is an unusually wet planet, but I did not think the difference was that stark.”

“I’m from a world where there just… isn’t water,” Anakin explained. “The only way we got water to drink was to pull it out of the air, and there wasn’t enough to go around.”

Then he frowned slightly. “Actually, uh… come to think of it, it isn’t all that far from here to my homeworld… do you think I could ship some water over there?”

“That is an… odd request,” the Kaminoan admitted. “But I must admit, we do have more water than we know what to do with. Perhaps we could discuss something like that after our main business is completed.”

“Sure,” Anakin agreed. “So, where do we get started?”

“I will take you to Lama Su,” the Kaminoan decided. “He will show you the current state of progress.”

Anakin nodded, absently, mostly thinking about showing up at Tatooine with a freighter full of water.

“How often does Anakin go on missions without you?” Padme asked, curious.

“It happens, sometimes,” Obi-Wan replied. “Increasingly often these days, actually. Anakin is approaching the point where he will have the chance to become a Jedi Knight, and… I worry about him a little.”

“Is that something a Jedi does?” Padme said.

“All the time,” Obi-Wan replied. “But right now, Senator, your safety is the highest priority.”

He frowned. “Though I must admit, I was expecting there to have been some kind of assassination attempt by this point.”

“You almost sound disappointed,” Padme suggested.

“No, no, it’s pattern recognition,” Obi-Wan replied, firmly. “You see, my missions with Anakin so rarely go smoothly. And if this mission is going smoothly, where the biggest danger we’ve had to deal with is mosquitos, then I dread to think about what is going on with Anakin.”

There was a beep.

“...like that, for example,” Obi-Wan added, taking his comlink out of his pocket. “What is it, Anakin?”

“So, first I want to say, I didn’t set out to do this, Master,” Anakin said.

“...oh dear,” Obi-Wan sighed. “That’s never a good sign. So, what is it that you didn’t set out to do?”

“So it turns out that Kamino was building an army for the Jedi,” Anakin said. “Also, it’s a really wet, flooded planet, they actually have too much water, I didn’t know that was possible! But I said that Tatooine had too little water, and since they had all those giant ships anyway I thought some of them could be used for transporting lots of water…”

“Sorry, Anakin, Kamino was building an army for the Jedi?” Obi-Wan repeated, a little incredulously. “That seems like the most important part of the situation.”

“No, no, the most important part is that some guy called Darth Tyrannus hired this bounty hunter called Jango Fett to be the clone template,” Anakin said. “And get this, he’s the one who killed that bounty hunter we chased, and things got a bit complicated… anyway, I went over the technical details and the clones have this weird chip in them and I think Chancellor Valorum might have been trying to assassinate the Jedi because the chip would have let the Chancellor tell the clones to kill the Jedi… obviously I told the Kaminoans to take that bit out because we didn’t need it and it’s way too much like slavery if you ask me. Anyway, uh, I’ve got the clones shipping water from Kamino to Tatooine for now, the Kaminoans are actually totally okay with it because they’ve got too much water, and I rescued my mother, too! I told you she was in danger!”

Obi-Wan took several seconds to process that particular bit of Skywalkerness.

Then he processed it a second time.

“…you have the clones… shipping water to Tatooine,” he repeated.

“Yeah, it’s going to break the Hutt control over water production and transportation for anything above the subsistence level,” Anakin said. “And it’s going to make Tatooine a way better place-”

“I have to interrupt you there, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said. “You said you rescued your mother? That’s very impressive, but you didn’t tell me she was in danger.”

“I did!” Anakin objected.

“You said you were dreaming about her,” Obi-Wan pointed out. “That does not mean you were dreaming about her being in danger. That’s quite different, Anakin, you must remember to use the right words if you want me to know something.”

“...oh,” Anakin said, and Obi-Wan could hear the shrug. “Well, anyway, I think there might be some kind of Sith plot involved too because of the whole Darth thing. Do you think Chancellor Valorum was a Sith?”

“I see what you mean,” Padme admitted.

[mycroftrh]

People do always love to be like “oh Anakin was so stupid, keeping secrets for no reason, he should’ve just told the Jedi about Padme and everything would’ve been fine, doesn't he know Ki-Adi-Mundi was given an exception for survival of the species to have wives in Legends”

And when rewatching RotS I was forcibly reminded: he wanted to. He wasn’t actually the problem there. It was Padme.

Padme: Wait, not here. Anakin: Yes, here. I’m tired of all this deception. I don’t care if they know we’re married. Padme: Anakin, don’t say things like that.

A few scenes later, it’s Padme, again, not Anakin, who says:

Padme: If the Council discovers you’re the father, you’ll be expelled.

And Anakin who’s like “don’t freak out about that now, just enjoy that we’re about to have a baby”.

Back in Attack of the Clones, it was technically Anakin who offered the idea of a secret relationship first, but it was in response to Padme being insistent that he would be expelled from the Order:

Padme: You listen. We live in the real world. You come back to it. You’re a Jedi Knight…. Jedi aren’t allowed to marry. You swore an oath, remember? You’d be expelled from the Order. I will not let you give up your responsibilities, your future, for me. … Anakin: It wouldn’t have to be that way. We could keep it a secret. Padme: …Could you live like that? Anakin: No.

And then it was Padme who first introduced the idea of lying to Obi-Wan:

Padme: Ani, I told you I wouldn’t let you give up your future for me… Anakin: What about Master Obi-Wan? Padme: I guess we won’t tell him, will we?

And also Anakin, rather importantly, as you may have noted in the conversation a bit above, actually believed that a secret relationship was a bad idea in the first place, to the point that he stopped making advances on Padme because of it, until suddenly she started making advances on him:

Anakin: You love me?! I thought we decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie.

And the thing is. Like. Anakin’s number one source of stress in Revenge of the Sith is that he does not want to be keeping secrets, and everyone around him is trying to force him to. From Obi-Wan to Palpatine to Mace and Yoda to, yes, very much Padme, as we saw in the very first quote above.

The Jedi are trying to make him keep secrets from Palpatine, which he very openly hates; Palpatine’s trying to make him keep secrets from the Jedi, which he also expresses extensive upset about and eventually refuses to do any longer; Padme’s making him keep their relationship secret when he explicitly doesn’t want to.

And he actually takes every possible opportunity to tell someone the truth about something, for the first three quarters of the movie!

He’s considering keeping the dreams secret from Padme for about three seconds before she’s like “Be honest with me” and he immediately tells her, honestly, without minimization or deflection. And then the very next scene, probably less than five minutes of screentime after the vision itself, is him telling Yoda, in as much detail as Padme’s rules will let him.

He doesn’t tell Palpatine about the Jedi Council’s plans because he’s trying so hard to be good and obedient towards everyone at the same time, but he’s so visibly upset about it that Palpatine deduces. (I firmly believe Palpatine had him put on the Council specifically so they would tell him to spy on Palpatine and thus break his trust in them, but that’s a side point.) Anakin dutifully ferries all information he’s given back to the Jedi Council without, as far as I can see, filtering it at all.

And the big one, of course - he learns Palpatine’s the Sith and immediately runs to tell Mace Windu.

(And Mace proceeds to only half-believe him, which, frankly, doesn’t make sense? He says “If what you told me is true, you will have gained my trust” but like. Mace’s primary concern about Anakin’s loyalties seems to be that he thinks Anakin’s loyal to Palpatine over the Jedi, in which case… what kind of next-level Machiavellian reverse-psychology triple-agent plan did he think Anakin had, that involved lying to Mace about Palpatine being MORE of a threat than they had believed and suggesting Mace go arrest and/or execute him, advising maximum force? It turns out Anakin is, in some ways, playing into Palpatine’s plans by doing this, but like… that’s because Anakin is telling the truth, and the truth is the problem here, and if he had been lying, things would’ve been fine for the Jedi. But that’s somewhat beside the point.)

Like. It’s been established since Phantom Menace that Mace and Yoda both tend to not be… friendly, let alone understanding, towards Anakin, and that continues to be the case in Revenge of the Sith, and yet still his first response is to run to them with any big truth he has, because they’re the Proper Authorities, and he hates secrecy, and he’s reaching out for any life-raft he can find.

Anakin is, in the end, the one who killed the younglings, yeah. But the secrecy? That was never his problem.

In conclusion - behold, Anakin’s synthesis:

[honestlywtfisgoingon]

GET A LITTLE LOUD. I DON’T MIND.

—WITH GOJO SATORU

REMEMBER: THE CLASSROOMS AT JUJUTSU HIGH AREN’T EXACTLY SOUNDPROOF…

content: teacher!gojo, teacher!reader, husband!gojo, smut, unprotected sex, p in v, semi-public sex, against the wall, over the desk, creampie, gagging, panty-theft, use of names slut and whore, not proofread

notes: i’m back this is crazyyyy!! i literally wrote every other day and thought about posting but i never finished anything and then all of a sudden it’s been years :O and im back w gojo brainrot. p.s. obi content is still coming but u just gotta be patient sorry i literally am so rusty

words: 3374

“toru! they’re gonna hear you, not me!” you worried your words wouldn’t get past the lewd sounds gojo was making as he rammed his dick in and out of your pussy. he did all this while holding you against the wall of the classroom— where anyone could come in.

“oh, i’m not worried about getting us caught” each of his words was let out between harsh moans, breath heavy as he kept his open mouth pressed against your neck. so he did hear your concern, it just made absolutely no difference to him. there wasn’t even a stutter in his pace, set hard and fast as soon as he slipped inside you only a bit ago.

“then why’re you covering my mouth?” one of his large hands smothered the entire bottom half of your face, but you managed to squeeze your words through the small sliver of space between gojos long fingers just like before.

“because i can actually stop myself from screaming. can you?” he was taunting you, sure, but the truth in it had you blushing. you were a little embarrassed of how easy it was to get a sound out of you. it was hard for you to keep everything in when you were naturally so vocal, and it only got harder the closer you were to coming. satoru always loved the moment he could see your conscious efforts to stay quiet become entirely abandoned in pleasure. once you couldn’t hold back, neither did he, fucking you as hard as he could, until he wrung out every little praise, and whimper, from your pretty throat. when you couldn’t help but shout his name for everyone to hear was his favorite, and he hated having to smother all the noises that always turned him into a horny teenager. he didn’t hold back his own grunts and groans though, letting them out freely in the classroom, which you didn’t think was very fair.

“that’s n-aah!” you couldn’t help but prove him right, a high-pitched moan jumping from your throat when he lifted you up, only to slam you back down where he was waiting to meet your hips a particularly eager thrust of his own.

“mhmm there it is.” he gave a smug little laugh that was always so familiar coming from him. satisfied that he had proven his point, he went back to making sure you kept quiet. instead of using his hands to muffle you this time, he smothered them with his own deep groan through a passionate kiss.

it didn’t help your case that your only response was an increasingly dazed look in your eyes. he clapped a large hand over your mouth again as you clung to him for dear life. your nails scraped at the back of his expensive dress shirt, feeling the muscles of his back react to the sensation. you raked them up to the softly shaved snow on his nape, pushing another groan out of him. only one of satoru’s hands were free, but he was doing the work for both of them. sometimes your husband was gentle and soft during sex— this was not one of those times. there was nothing sweet about how he groped your ass, gripping and kneading at the skin harshly. every so often one of his fingers brushed against your unoccupied hole while his palms spread your ass slightly.

gravity had you feeling like he was fucking his cock into you well past your pussy. you felt a pleasurable shock each time he hit that perfect spot, shooting up your body. how could it not feel that good with the way you met him with every bounce on his pretty cock. you both got closer and closer, but not quite there. you knew from the beginning that would be short, but you two couldn’t resist a quickie. honestly, you couldn’t resist any opportunity to fuck.

the truth is, he meant it when he said he really didn’t care about being caught from all the noise, but he also didn’t like that getting caught meant having to stop before he could make you finish.

even deeper than that desire, the one he didn’t want to admit just yet, was his possessive need. satoru wanted to keep those pretty little screams all to himself. he figured that he was the one helping you make them, he should be the one who decides that only he gets to hear them. people could still know just who was claiming you by his own pornographic professions of pleasure. Maybe he would let you cry out in the end to reward you, if only because he wanted to hear you say his name like you always did.

to get you there, he was going to have to go just a little harder to push you over the edge. chasing both of your highs, he used all that famous speed of his to switch positions and bend you over the desk. it all happened so fast that even if he slipped out, you didn’t feel it.

the new angle already allowed him to go deeper, but it also allowed you to arch your back. satoru didn’t moan, he whined at the sight. he always loved seeing just how far you’d bend for him— literally. it made his cock throb inside of you, the blood pulsing through the veins along his shaft that were making each drag against your walls take you closer to heaven.

still muting you but no longer having to hold you up, he used a free hand to bully your clit as well as your hole. there was so much sap dripping down from your pussy, making the noise that rang out everytime your ass and his hips met even more vulgar. he easily gathered up some of the wet mix of both your juice and his precum on two of his fingers removing his hand from your mouth only to shove his fingers in instead.

“mmm fuck baby, taste yourself. taste us.” you gagged on them, the choking sound canceling out the much louder whines you were about to make.

he desperately tore off his blindfold, shoving it in your mouth as a gag and telling you to play with your pussy. even before his hand could grip your hips though, you were already meeting his thrusts.

he gripped your hips with his large hands, squeezing your body beneath him, “oh shit. yeah yeah please. keep slamming that ass back on me princess. please please please.” he begged as if he was at your mercy, even though his inescapable grip was the only thing keeping you from falling limp. he grit his teeth, feeling you tighten around him. you went from throbbing to squeezing him like a vice as your orgasm suddenly shocked through you. you shook, your knees knocking a bit as you used your last bit of strength to push back on him, feeling as much of his cock as you could while you creamed on it. your eyes rolled back almost like they were compensating for the screams you couldn’t let out.

as sensitive as you were, satoru wasn’t done yet.

“so so close, hold out princess.”

the gag slipped from your slacked jaw, but you bit your lip to stop any noise that came from the sensitivity. you nodded and satoru petted your head and smiled. with just your lip to stop you from making noise and you so close to coming, satoru didn’t give a shit about volume anymore. you were about to let out some of the sluttiest moans like you always do when you come, and he wasn’t gonna miss them for anyone. “You know what? get a little loud. i don’t mind,” just before ramming in so hard that he knocked over the desk. the last of your moans morphed into a panicked scream, mingled with the crash and bang of the desk falling, along with all the objects on it. you were nearly one of those things if satoru hadn’t tightly gripped your hips and your neck, keeping you fused together. so much was happening, but he made sure that you were right where you needed to be for him to pour all his cum inside you. it seemed that after everything, your voice couldn’t handle much more than a little whimper when you felt all his hot, thick cum filling you up. you always tightened your legs out of instinct to hold it all in, and it also helped you keep standing as he shuddered, letting a long stream of broken groans and eventually whimpers just by your ear. he wanted so badly to take his time watching his cum drip out of your hole just to gather every drop not inside you on his fingers and shove it back in. you always begged for his cum huh? he’d be a bad husband if he didn’t give you all of it.

shit. his mind cleared he assessed the damage less than a moment after. even with all this clutter on the floor, at least he didn’t add his cum to it he thought. still, the biggest mess was between your legs, and he couldn’t help but feel a little proud about the two of you.

he immediately picked you up like a ragdoll and sat you down on a desk. you still felt your tongue threaten to loll out but you threw a leg over his shoulder out of instinct, giving him access between your legs to clean up the slick that covered your sex and thighs with his blindfold. it was already covered in spit anyway.

“fuck. someone definitely heard that” he murmured during his rushed clean up.

“who’s fault now huh—“ you were cut off by satoru’s reaction to hearing approaching steps he yanked you forward to button your shirt as you realized the person was running, very, very fast. you were both so relieved that you still had your skirt and he still had his pants on, leaving you one less thing to trip over. while he fumbled with your clothes you zipped up his pants and buckled his belt. gojo had just finished the very important task of checking to make sure no cum was leaking past your panties before yuuji came bursting through the door. you immediately hopped off the desk and smoothed down your hair and your skirt, while gojo tried to pass off his ruffled hair by acting like he’d been running his hand through it.

“hey, are you guys ok? we thought we heard something crash.” yuuji eyes darted to the desk on the floor, completely missing the raging blush on gojos face and the slight wobble in your knees. he opened his mouth to ask only to be shoved through the door when nobara came in hot behind him.

“hey! i thought we were all gonna check it out!” she scolded him with her whines.

“not my fault you’re slow!” he defended.

finally megumi strolled in, looking as nonchalant about the whole thing as he could be, in great contrast to his best friends.

“students!” you turned to satoru as he addressed them enthusiastically, “your teachers were just training and made a bit of a mess.” wow. that excuse just…well it sucks. you almost wanted to roll your eyes but had to do a double take. where did he get his glasses from? when did he put them on? leave it to gojo to keep his accessories on hand. it did help distract from how puffy and pink his lips were as he spoke.

“you were fighting in here?” yuuji tilted his head in question. combined with his big brown eyes, his actions had him looking like a puppy.

“it was impromptu.” you bolstered gojos excuse while trying not to cringe at how bad it was to begin with.

“ooh were you like couple fighting?” nobara jumped in with her question. it seemed she was way too intrigued by the prospect of drama to question how much sense it actually made, and you had absolutely no objections to that right now.

“wait things can get that heated to where you battle??” oh yuuji. he asked as if nobara knew all there was to know about the subject.

“no, no!” you waved your hands frantically, only to be completely tuned out once the two kids entered the mode of conspiracy. they talked lowly but didn’t whisper, as if you couldn’t hear them literally talking about you five feet away.

“i mean they totally look like they got into it.” nobaras chin was between her thumb and pointer finger while her eyes narrowed in inspection, yuuji mimicking her actions. after a second of tapping her cheek, she pointed directly at her sensei, making you and satoru almost jump a little bit. wow you had to get a hold of yourself. “no offense, but you should probably fix your hair.” nobara stated bluntly. gojo pouted. you thought he was adorable but also made a note to compliment his hair later.

megumi had been silent, not even really looking at you or the mess. his eyes just wandered the walls until it seemed like something clicked in his braim. his eyes darted back and forth between you and gojo. suddenly rolling his eyes letting out an exasperated “oh my god,” megumi just dragged a hand over his eyes and his face. he wasted no time turning around and walking away, seeming absolutely done with you two.

he caught nobaras curiosity and had her chasing him out the door and down the hall where you could hear her calling out “hey! hey, fushiguro come back!”

“hey wait what’s he talking about.” yuuji looked increasingly confused as he followed suit.

you almost slumped in relief you were so tired and you had to put effort into standing straight and not just falling into gojo. he looked at your relieved and tired face with a goofy smile. that smile. it disappeared as soon as you started slapping his arm.

“sa-to-ru!” a slap accompanied each syllable. “that was the worst excuse ever! there’s no way they’re not going to figure it out!” your hands kept slapping his bicep, but were just as quick to wrap around it right after. you pressed your cheek against the expensive cotton sleeve as you hugged his arm tightly and pouted just like he did as you looked up.

“c’mon let’s be real here, megumi would rather die than discuss our sex life with his friends. plus, we’re married, princess. i’m pretty sure a husband fucking his wife is like, the least surprising thing ever.” he rolled his eyes as he turned to wrap his arms around your waist, your hands resting on his chest.

“what about itadori? i’d hate for that kid to lose his innocence,”

“innocent? that kid is a self-proclaimed ass man.” taking advantage of the subject, one of satorus own hands came to rest on your ass. you quirked a brow but he pretended not to see your face and just continued, “i also saw a pinup poster in his room,”

“wait, really?” you stopped and shook your head a bit, like it would help you refocus on what you remembered you were talking about, “oh but still, toru, i know they know we have sex but—“

“but what?” he sighed, waiting for your most definitely poor reasoning.

“i don’t know, just” you started blushing and he knew that little embarrassed look. he knew you always liked to play the good girl, to hold on to your pride. if it didn’t make for such a fun game he’d say it’s a total waste of time knowing, without fail, he’d have you on his leash in minutes (literally or metaphorically depending on what your setting allowed). a single long finger tilted your chin up, his face suddenly so close to yours.

“oh you’re not worried about them finding out about my wife being fucked, you're worried about them finding out that she likes to be fucked like a slut.” such crude words came out in delicate breaths that fanned across your face.

“no!” your voice died out instantly when he pulled you a little closer again, your noses now touching instead of just your breath.

“hard enough for the desk to fall and loud enough to scream.” you had had sex minutes ago, and even worse, had almost gotten caught, and yet he was saying and doing everything to make your pussy throb all over again. you were always so easy for him to play with, never offering any real objections despite your attitude. “yeah? you don’t want them to know how desperate you are, how you just couldn’t keep your legs closed until we got home? because that’s all you want, isn’t it.” he whispered in your ear, your eyes fluttering back with chills. the sensation of him placing kisses on your neck brought you back to your senses once again.

“please, as if you didn’t run around the whole school just to say you needed ‘help’”

“and you’re suchhhh a good little helper for me, baby,”, he went to kiss you on the mouth you returned it, but as soon as he deepened it, you pushed him away and he had the audacity to look hurt. you were getting whiplash from having to repeatedly pull yourself together just to fall right into his hands again.

“you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. i swear we almost got caught there’s no way we can go another round. you’re insatiable gojo satoru.”

“mhmm, we both are, mrs. gojo satoru.” he tapped your nose before lowering his voice once again. “so, how bout i take these panties, and we go home when my cum is about to leak past your skirt, huh?”

“fine. deal.” you huffed, but spread your legs quickly. he went on one knee to pull your panties down, enjoying the picture of your pussy and leaving a kiss on your clit which made you hiss, before he had the fabric dropping to your ankles. you stepped out of them and he swiftly pocketed them.

“i love my wifey so much!” he stood up and kissed you with a cute smile as if he hadn’t just shove your panties down his pants.

“that’s good because love you too toru,” you said softly, hands clasped behind your back and rocking back and forth on your heels with a lovesick look like a schoolgirl. honestly, he never stopped making you feel like one.

“aww so sweet.” he tucked a hair behind your hair, sending butterflies past your stomach and to your whole body, but you just knew that wasn’t all. “who woulda thought you were such a whore?” ah, theres your satoru.

“only for you” you patted his cheek jokingly, but he just groaned with his whole body. he had to do things in the most dramatic way possible of course.

“ugh. baby, you can’t just say things like that and then—“

you pushed him off, leaving him, arms still stretched out reaching for you, even after you walked out the door. he looked at the clock before deciding it was max 30 minutes before you asked to go home. you came back in 10.

— bonus:

“well i mean the honeymoon stage is like that, although it’s annoying and gross.” nobara shrugged while still stirring her boba.

“they’ve been married for 7 years. dated for 10.” megumi responded quietly, nobara consequently spewing her drink.

“no way! they act all starry-eyed and all that stuff still.” yuujis own eyes opened wider in surprise

“yeah that’s what i thought too!” it helped nobara that even yuuji had the same idea too. “ugh now that i know they’re just like that it’s kinda gross.”

“wait megumi if they’ve dated for 10 years, you lived with both of them at the same time, right?” both of megumis friends leaned closer to him, eager to hear where yuujis question went, but he didn't even look at them.

“yeah what about it,” he said as nonchalantly as ever. this was a topic he had always made a point never to dwell on.

“so you had to have heard—“

“okay, that’s enough. we’re never talking about this again.” ideas like yuujis were the exact reason why megumi refused to feel his interest. ideas like yuujis made him want to die from remembering just how many times he accidentally heard the two of you…daily.

“yeah gross, good idea.”

“um yeah, you’re right, don’t answer that actually.”

[somuchforahobby]

interrupted

PART 2 ; PART 3

Summary: young!obi-wan x jedi!reader / Obi-wan tries to flirt with you but gets interrupted by his young padawan / this is fluff and the reader is a tease! Word count: 800 Warnings: none i think ? Read on AO3

You are looking at Chandrila’s night sky when you feel him behind you. “Obi-wan” the name leaves your lips like a request.

“You are up late” he sits next to you.

Your eyes do not leave the stars, “I can never see all this in Coruscant” you exhale, “it’s beautiful” 

Obi-wan scoffs, “you can always take your ship and go for a ride if you miss it” 

You turned to him, one eyebrow already up, judging him. “Oh yeah?”

He nodded.

“I don’t have a ship, master.” you dragged the word like an insult, “Perhaps you should advise the council on the matter.”

A scoff left his lips, “I am no master and I have no authority to take matters to council”

“You will be soon enough” you muttered bitterly, returning your sight to the sky.

“Maybe you’ll beat me to it”

A soft smile crossed your face, “I highly doubt it”

“Why don’t you have a ship?” he asked sheepishly. 

You took a deep breath before looking back at him and leaned back on the bench, “why do you think?”

He scooped closer, his chin almost touching your shoulder, “maybe you are a lousy pilot”

“Am I now?” you teased back, leaning closer.

“yeah, I’m thinking you ran over master Yoda once and you got banned from even sit in a cabin” 

The image made you laugh, “maybe” your eyes dropped to his lips, so dangerously close to yours now.

Obi-wan noticed and backed away. “Is that what happened?” 

“No” you smiled, “nothing really happened.” You hugged your legs to your torso, hiding your face on your knees. “Since I am always on Coruscant, the council does not think I need a ship to space.” 

“It is a proper use of resources, I’d say.” He said, solemn as always.

“Yeah, I guess.” Your head leaned back to the sky, “but I love it so much, I’ve only been there a couple times.”

“Missions?” 

“No” you scoffed, “when I was brought to Coruscant, a few of my own–”

“What do you mean ‘a few of your own’?” 

You turned to see him with eyebrows furrowed, “I have my tricks” you teased.

His bright blue eyes were widened, “what tricks?”

Your shrugged, gazing the stars, “a girl can do a thing or two to get her where she wants to be, I’m sure you understand” 

“I don’t?” There was a glint of amusement in his tone, but also concern.

“Let’s just say that, sometimes some random guy who wants to show off, takes me for a ride in space.”

“Just like that?” 

“Just like that”

“You’re putting yourself in danger, don’t do that” 

“I am a jedi, you know?” you bit back with a hint of annoyment. 

“and they are men”

“men who think I’m pretty and who get me back to the city in hopes to see me again” 

He was silent for a few minutes, before adding, “you could ask some other, mmm, partners” 

“jedis?” you turned to him, hoping he would realize the ridiculousness he had just suggested. 

If this was how he faced threats, he would not live a long life; Obi-wan was nearly trembling next to you, his blue eyes assessing you like you were a menace, shy and self conscious. “Yeah, I’m sure there are jedis who think you’re, ummm, pretty and would, of course, like to, uh, invite you or more like, uh take you–”

“for a ride?” you interrupted his stuttering. 

He nodded and you took it as a cue to lean closer, “you think a jedi knight would take a girl to see the stars on his ship, late at night, when nobody sees them?”

Obi-wan nodded just the slightest.

“you think there are jedi knights who find me pretty?” you bit your lower lip just to torture him further. 

His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips as he nodded.

“Like who?” 

He swallowed, leaning forward, “me, for starters”

You felt your face warming up but you still pressed, “and would you help me see stars, Obi-wan Kenobi?” you asked agape.

He bit his lower lip, his bravado coming back into his body when he whispered, “Any–fucking–time sweetheart.” 

His hand was on your jaw, pushing you towards him when you heard a voice near.

“Obi-wan hates flying, you should ask another pilot” 

“ANAKIN” Obi-wan stood up, walking towards the blond child. “You should be asleep”

The little kid looked up to him, “I am having nightmares again, master Kenobi.” his wobbly voice made your heart break.

Obi-wan exhaled, passing a hand through his face and pushing his hair back before crunching down to the kid’s height. “I’ll be there in a minute and we will meditate together, alright?” 

Anakin nodded, “I am also a pilot, you know?” he asked you, “The best in the Galaxy” 

“I’ll keep that in mind, young padawan” You smiled, standing up and walking beside them. “I should go to sleep as well, good night boys.”

You winked at Obi-wan before turning on your heel and walking away.

PART 2

[phoenixyfriend]

Gather 'round, all ye fuckers. It's time for another AU, let's go.

Time-travel. Obi-Wan from post-RotS (could be early in the Empire, could be as late as ESB, doesn't quite matter) wakes up in the past, as a 12yo, on that fateful trip to join the Agricorp.

He has a few short minutes to think it over, and then scams his way out and towards nearby Mandalore to find Satine.

(Her ghost was hanging out with Qui-Gon's when he was sent back in time, tethered by the Darksaber, and so Obi-Wan is pretty sure she's also somehow in the past?)

(If Qui-Gon's interested in helping, he can track Obi-Wan down. No need to make things easy for him.)

tbf even if he goes back to the Jedi when Qui-Gon comes to fetch him, he needs to plot and scheme with Satine first. Because reasons.

@threebea: Qui-Gon: we were literally five minutes from meeting Obi-Wan: sounds like a you problem Qui-Gon is not having a good mental health day. Like yes he's older and wiser but still.

Satine and Obi-Wan have been busy getting in the way of the Galidraan situation (the Duke is out of his mind with worry because his daughter and heir randomly disappeared in the night.) Obi-Wan figured Qui-Gon could handle Xanatos on his own for a bit

Qui-Gon, suspicious: Have you been kissing? You're twelve. Obi-Wan: On the cheek, sure. Satine: He looks a third of my actual age at death. I look a fifth of his. We are neither of us comfortable with more. Obi-Wan: Also I've been told I need to worry about cooties.

The three of them speed run Jedi apprentice problems since they can't just leave the problems they need to fix unsolved, but way easier when you know who and what the solution is. Like yes they could get someone at the temple to catch Xanatos, but a twelve year old smacking him in the face and getting him in a headlock, and then later saying Xanatos tripped on his cape and knocked himself out oh dear. Also Bruck lives and is weirded out with how Obi-Wan gives him old man advice later.

They're also eager to get to the Real Problems Of Deadly Sith. They can't just SKIP the problems, but man. They sure are hitting fast forward.

Bruck definitely tries to goad Obi-Wan about his "secret girlfriend" that is in no way a secret.

Everyone knows about Obi-Wan having a "pen pal" that he has stated on more than one occasion that he'd have gladly married if not for the tragedy of their stations.

"Padawan Kenobi, you are twelve." "And yet, I shall live my life yearning for the lady who owns my heart, star-crossed as we are."

There's at least one meeting in those early years where Jango is present at an interaction and is abruptly concerned that he's going to have to figure out how to prevent a teen pregnancy without making everything weird. Does he just throw condoms at them? He doesn't know what size they need. Maybe tell their parents? He should tell the parents. He is not qualified to cockblock the 14yos.

[david-talks-sw]

Part 2.5 of the 4-part post series interweaving George Lucas' words in a curated meta post. Here are PART 1 and PART 2.

In George Lucas' words: The Fall and Return of Anakin Skywalker

- Does The Clone Wars count? -

When talking about why Anakin Skywalker falls to the Dark Side, it's easy for many fans to point to events that Anakin goes through in the series The Clone Wars.

However, while George Lucas himself stated he doesn't make a distinction between the series and the films, it's important to bear in mind why that series was created in the first place.

The Clone Wars connects Episode II and III. As a TV series, it gives more depth and understanding about how the Republic fell, and what a fantastic hero Anakin Skywalker was.

In-universe, this conflict is really the centerpiece of the downfall of the Jedi Order and the ultimate rise of the Empire, but in the films, we get so focused on Anakin turning into Darth Vader that it's easy to forget that he was one of the biggest heroes of the entire Clone War.

But as far as George is concerned, the Star Wars epic itself is basically this mythological uber story about one man: Anakin Skywalker. That is the saga shown in the six feature films, a narrow-focused story with a beginning, a middle and an end, the story of one man's struggle against evil and the redemption by his son.

So when you switch from Episode II to Episode III, you can imagine a little asterisk that says, “more about the Clone Wars in the animated series” but it's only an asterisk because those specific stories don’t have anything to do with Anakin Skywalker, really.

In the films, they're skipped over. You hear about it, but you only see the very beginning and the very end of the wars.

But whereas the features are Anakin Skywalker’s story, by contrast, The Clone Wars is basically a footnote in the saga (which is why George later decided to make it in an animated form, so it doesn’t get confused with the saga).

And just because those ideas don't have much to do with Anakin Skywalker's fall to the Dark Side, doesn't mean they're not worth sharing. Ignoring these tales would be sad because there’s so much stuff to explore.

After all, this was a turning point for the Republic. So the show's stories deal with individual clones, we get to know them. Same thing with Jedi, who in the films only zip through real fast, and never get explored on a personal level.

Mostly, in terms of character development, this time-period develops Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship.

In Episode II, they are not really that friendly, don’t get along very well, they’re very standoffish with each other. So the idea was to see how they become best friends, in Episode III, how they become partners, how they become a team of equals.

And with the series, you see that it's because they’ve been sort of been through the Clone Wars together. So this really helps build that relationship, something which is also facilitated by the creation of a new character to take the role of the younger person who is being taught, in these TCW stories.

In order to make Anakin a little bit more mature, (seeing as in Episode II, he was kind of a wild child) George gives him somebody to teach: Ahsoka Tano, his new Padawan, a young woman who holds her own with him.

His reasoning is that, when you become a parent, when you become a teacher, you kind of have to become more responsible. It kind of forces you into this adulthood thing, it makes you more mature simply because you’ve, suddenly, got to be a good example for somebody younger than you are.

Thus explaining Anakin’s rise to being a fully-fledged Jedi, and why, in Episode III, his character is more settled down, and less petulant.

To conclude:

The Clone Wars is like a footnote to the live-action features. In this show, Anakin is simply a normal person, as well as a great Jedi Knight. In the movies, you never see Anakin as a normal person. He’s always struggling. Again, the films are about pivotal points in his life.

However, while throughout the Clone War, Anakin does has moments where he overcomes his attachments...

... and moments where he instead gives into his fear of losing them way too much...

... even being warned against doing so by other Jedi (it's not as if this flaw went unnoticed)...

... but also encouraged by Palpatine into continuing down this path...

... at the end of the day, what this comes down to is something that Dave Filoni explained when talking about the narrative constraints of writing episodes for The Clone Wars:

Though Anakin may briefly overcome flaws, he never solves any of those problems fully.

He'll start embarking on a path of understanding, but can never take the final full step to being this more enlightened person, because he keeps getting pulled back down.

Which is why when we're talking about events that caused Anakin's downfall, I'd say that The Clone Wars counts... but in only in terms that all these events do is cement the path Anakin has begun to undertake in Episode II, through his lack of discipline, emotional unruliness and attachment.

For better or for worse. Nothing more, but also nothing less.

That includes something like Ahsoka leaving the Jedi Order. George Lucas was originally just gonna have her brought back into the Jedi and be done with it, it's Dave Filoni who insisted on that taking place because it was unexplored territory, narratively-speaking.

But in the context of the bigger Star Wars saga about the fall of Anakin Skywalker, a character like Ahsoka is inconsequential.

Because while The Clone Wars gives George the chance to get out of dealing with the psychological underpinnings of why somebody gets to be evil (as he does in the films) and show that, “Anakin was a regular guy,” just like he was in Episode I... it doesn’t really have anything to do with Anakin’s story, about his fall to the dark side.

Sources:

Attack of the Clones, Director’s Commentary, 2002

Gizmodo/io9, 2008

ScreenSlam, 2008

Parade, 2008

Contra Costa Times, 2008

ComingSoon.Net, 2008

Sky Movies, 2008

Star Wars - The Clone Wars (movie) - World Premiere, 2008

The Art of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, 2009

SciFiNow, 2011

Dave Filoni, “The Slaves of Zyggeria” video commentary, 2012

Dave Filoni, “The Wrong Jedi” featurette, 2012

[miss-musings]

"I Say We Take Her With Us": How TCW's Waxer & Boil Prefigure Hunter & Crosshair in "The Bad Batch" Series

A running joke in the TCW/TBB fandom is that all the clones have Dad Genes™️. Outside of Jango Fett himself, the first indication we have is Waxer and Boil's dynamic with Numa in "The Clone Wars" Episode 1.20 "Innocents of Ryloth."

In revisiting the episode recently, it struck me how much Waxer and Boil's initial reactions to Numa and their eventual bond with her feels like a template for Hunter and Crosshair's dynamic with Omega in "The Bad Batch" series.

Like Hunter, Waxer bonds with Numa very quickly and takes more initiative when it comes to her safety. He's also more comfortable with physical affection -- patting her head, booping her nose, putting a hand on her shoulder, etc.

Like Crosshair, Boil argues to leave Numa behind when they first encounter her and isn't as concerned about her well-being. He does eventually take a liking to her, promising to keep her safe. Unlike Waxer, Boil isn't physically affectionate. He doesn't initiate any shoulder touches, etc., and he seems caught off-guard when Numa does.

In the end, both clones form a deep bond with their "little sister," even if their dynamics with Numa play out differently. Just so, Hunter and Crosshair both form a deep bond with Omega, although their dynamics with her play out very differently thanks to a variety of factors.

While this is the gist of it, let's take a look at Waxer and Boil as characters, including their interactions with Numa in TCW 1.20 "Innocents of Ryloth".

(NOTE: If you've already seen the episode and have a good understanding of the plot and characters, I recommend you jump down the "Prefiguring Hunter & Crosshair" section.)

Waxer & Boil in "Innocents of Ryloth"

Character Introductions

Even before they meet Numa, we get a pretty good idea of who Waxer and Boil are as individuals.

As their gunship flies toward Ryloth's surface, Obi-Wan and Cody tell the clone troopers to keep an eye out for the locals and avoid damaging their settlements.

Boil, who was carrying heavy artillery, puts it down after Cody tells them they can't use it. He then remarks to Waxer:

Boil: If we're here to free the tail-heads, the least they could do is get out of our way.

Already, we see that Boil has a shoot-em-up kind of attitude. He wants to go in guns blazin' and get the job done, and he doesn't like that consideration for the locals is putting a damper on his fun.

He's also maybe a bit racist??? (Tail-heads sounds like a racial slur to me, and I've seen other comments agreeing with that assessment.)

Waxer seems to take this in stride and later, when Obi-Wan says their squad needs to disable the enemies' guns, Waxer says:

Waxer: Here we go again.

I know it's an iconic "Star Wars" line, akin to "I've got a bad feeling about this," but it's still worth noting.

The two go with Obi-Wan and their brothers to take down the guns, with Obi-Wan commenting how Waxer and Boil "wanted action," implying he overheard their earlier comments on the gunship.

The two help Obi-Wan take out gun towers and then infiltrate the village, which is deserted. They're then ordered to help scout the village.

Obi-Wan, to Cody: Send your best men to scout ahead. Cody: Will do, sir. Boil, Waxer, come with me. Boil: I guess we're the best.

The way Boil delivers this line, it sounds like he's halfway between proud and uncertain. He probably appreciates Cody's vote of confidence in them, but is also wondering if it's because they happened to be nearby because Cody didn't explicitly call them "the best."

As the two are scouting -- both before and after they leave Cody -- Boil has his gun raised. He's ready to aim and fire at a second's notice. Meanwhile, Waxer has his blaster lowered to his torso. He's not as tightly wound up as Boil is.

As the two walk through the village by themselves, Waxer starts asking Boil questions about what might've happened to the residents, whether they were killed, etc.

Boil notes that there are no bodies, so they were likely driven from their homes.

So, even before meeting Numa, we've got a decent idea of who these two soldiers are.

Waxer is more caring and compassionate. He's definitely not as trigger-happy or aggressive as Boil, but he still does his job well.

Boil is more practical and by-the-book. He's ready to spring into action, and takes his job as a soldier seriously. He also might be older/higher-ranking than Waxer, as Waxer seems to defer to him in some cases, and Cody calls to him first.

Meeting Numa

While scouting, the two hear a sound and investigate it. They find a little Twi'lek girl, whom we later learn is named Numa.

Boil, as he sees Numa: Ah, it's just a little girl. Waxer: Well, what are we going to do with her? Boil: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Why do we have to do anything? We've got a mission to finish.

Looking closely, Boil actually lowers his blaster first, realizing who/what Numa is. But, he also sounds a bit disappointed that he doesn't get to shoot something.

Waxer immediately starts worrying about her well-being and what their duty of care is in this situation. However, Boil believes their responsibility is to complete the mission, starving kids be damned.

Waxer doesn't back down, though:

Waxer: We should do something. I say we take her with us. Boil: You can't be serious. She'll only slow us down.

Again, Boil is focused on completing the mission, while Waxer is concerned about Numa's safety.

A probe droid comes into the vicinity, and Numa cowers. Boil thinks it's because she's afraid of them, but Waxer notices the droid and realizes the truth. The three then hide, and the droid leaves.

The droid worries Boil, who says they need to keep moving. However, Waxer presses him for a third time that they need to do something about Numa. Boil reluctantly agrees to Waxer's plan to take her with them, and bends down to grab Numa. She bites him, and he calls her a "tail-head."

Waxer correctly deduces that Numa is afraid of them, as she probably assumes they're droids. He takes off his helmet, showing her he's human:

Waxer: It's alright. See? I'm flesh and blood, just like you.

The two then notice that Numa looks hungry. (The captions say Boil takes note of this, but based on the audio, I think it's actually Waxer. Waxer doesn't have his helmet on, but Boil does, and the line is delivered by someone who isn't wearing a helmet.)

Anyway, Boil takes out a ration and hands it to Waxer, who hands it to Numa. While Boil might be older/outrank Waxer, he's apparently letting Waxer take the lead in this particular situation after Numa initially bit him.

As Boil also removes his helmet, Numa calls them "nerra," which we later find out means "brother." While they're unaware, it's an indication that Numa already trusts and respects them.

Waxer tells Numa their names, but Numa continues to call them "nerra."

Boil, as he puts his helmet back on: Oh, you made a friend. Mission accomplished. [sighs] Can we go now?

I find it interesting that Boil says Waxer made a friend, when Numa was calling both of them "nerra." So, while he didn't know what "nerra" meant, he only acknowledges her bond with Waxer and not himself. Once again, he's only focused on completing the mission. He doesn't give a crap about this kid beyond answering Waxer's complaints that they need to do something with her.

Waxer stands and puts his helmet back on, as he prepares to follow Boil. He calls to Numa, who seems reluctant to leave.

Boil: Look, she doesn't even want to go. Little monster was fine before we came along, so let's MOVE.

Boil has finally convinced Waxer that they don't have any more responsibility toward Numa. She'll be fine as-is. Waxer takes one last look at Numa before following Boil out into the street.

Following Numa

Later, Numa follows the two through the streets of the deserted village. Waxer immediately notices, looking back at her, but keeps walking.

Waxer: I wonder what happened to her family. Boil: They're probably dead. Hopefully, she'll survive this mess.

Again, we see that Waxer is concerned while Boil is practical to the point of being cavalier. However, that last line makes me think Boil is starting to ... warm up ... to Numa. (Sorry, I had to.) He's definitely not on the same level as Waxer is... yet.

Waxer continues to focus on her well-being, especially with the context that she's likely an orphan. (We find out later that she's not, but they don't know that yet.)

Waxer: So, what happens to her? I mean, after we leave. Boil: I don't know. Ah, don't get any ideas. We're not taking her with us.

I do wonder who the "we" is that Waxer mentions. Does he mean his company specifically, or the clone army in general? I imagine, from context, it's the former.

I also find it funny that Boil preemptively shuts down Waxer's idea of taking her with them. He must recognize that Waxer's Dad Instincts™️ have kicked in -- probably because his have too but he's fighting them, unlike Waxer.

The two realize that Numa is no longer following them, and Waxer says in a very disappointed tone:

Waxer: She's gone. Boil: I'm sure the little biter will turn up.

Out-of-context, "little biter" sounds like it could be a term of endearment. I wonder if Boil meant it that way, but knowing his personality, he probably meant it more literally.

The two then turn around and see that Numa snuck in front of them, as she stands directly in front of Waxer. He kneels down and affectionately boops her on the nose, which makes her giggle.

Boil's a bit thrown off by the fact that she was able to sneak up on them, considering they're trained soldiers.

Numa then starts pulling Waxer, calling him "nerra" again, and pointing down the street. She runs off, clearly wanting them to follow her.

Waxer calls after her, telling her not to go that way because "that's where the recon droid went."

Boil: Waxer, let her go. Waxer, running after Numa: I'm not just gonna let the droids get her. Boil, running after both of them: I'm just trying to keep you alive! I'll be darned if I know why.

Once again, we see that Waxer's priority is Numa's safety, as he runs after her without hesitation.

Boil, like before, is focused on a combination of following orders, completing the mission, and keeping his brother safe. So, he runs after both of them.

As Waxer catches up to her, he pats her on the head affectionately.

Boil, catching up to them: Good, you caught her. You know, I have binders if we need them. [defensively] What? ... What are we doing here anyway?

Boil almost talks about Numa like she's a prisoner in their custody -- how Waxer "caught" her and how they should put binders on her. Yikes!

He's clearly getting tired of dealing with Numa, partly because she's a child and partly because they can't communicate with her. He's also getting tired of Waxer throwing himself after Numa, when they still have a mission to complete.

Comforting Numa

Numa leads them inside a destroyed house, which Waxer assumes is her home. He's sympathetic to her plight, calling her a "poor little thing" who "lost it all."

He spots a small tooka doll on the ground and gives it to her. Numa starts crying, and he comforts and reassures her by putting his hand on her shoulder.

Waxer: It's OK now. We're here to help.

Numa embraces him and continues crying. He doesn't really know how to react, but ends up reciprocating the embrace by putting a hand on her head.

Finally, Boil approaches them and kneels down too.

Boil: Don't cry kid. We'll keep you safe. I ... I promise.

Numa then embraces him and seems to stop crying. Like Waxer, Boil doesn’t know how to react to being hugged, but pats her on the back.

For Boil, this is clearly a turning point in how he handles Numa. We see later that he's still not happy about having to take care of her, but he has definitely softened toward her, after seeing what she's gone through.

He took the initiative to comfort her. He didn't need to. Waxer seemed to be handling the situation well enough. But, Boil apparently felt compelled to act too.

I imagine that, for a soldier like Boil, making a promise is no easy thing. He wouldn't have told her that if he didn't mean it, so I think -- like Waxer -- he finally let his Dad Instincts™️ kick in. He's not fighting them anymore.

And what's more is he actually one-ups Waxer in a sense. He makes a promise to take care of Numa, which Waxer never did. Waxer just said they were there to help. The wording was more general. But, Boil promises to keep her safe. It's more specific, and could be seen as more comforting: "We're here to help" vs. "We're going to keep you safe."

Side note: I do wonder if Numa is able to understand some Basic, because she gives Boil a meaningful look when he makes that promise AND she stops crying as he directed.

Protecting Numa

While they're still in Numa's destroyed home, the clones' communicators start flashing. Boil is upset, saying they'll be punished for failing to complete the mission and/or report back on time.

Waxer wonders how they're going to explain Numa to their company. He starts coming up with white lies they can tell to avoid getting into trouble.

Boil: We can try. But, mark my words: this will end badly.

Both Waxer and Boil, but more so Boil, are concerned with possible demotion/punishment.

However, they at least don't seem to be arguing about what to do about Numa anymore. They both just start leaving the home and apparently assume Numa will follow them, because they don't physically or verbally have her come along.

When they get outside, both clones take a defensive stance when they realize something's coming. Numa hides behind Waxer, telling him of the danger, before running back into the house.

The two start fighting the creatures attacking them.

Boil: You see what happens when we don't follow orders? [grunts] Waxer: Let's get out of here.

Despite having some change of heart, Boil is still preoccupied with following orders and completing the mission. He is still very much a soldier, even if his Dad Instincts™️ have kicked in.

They barricade themselves inside the home, with Waxer holding the door while Boil shoots at the creatures. Numa opens a tunnel in the floor. Waxer helps her with the heavy stone while Boil puts down cover-fire, until all three escape safely.

When they come out of the tunnels and rejoin their company, they tell Cody they "got sidetracked." Numa, who's holding onto Boil's hand, then peers out from behind him at Obi-Wan and the others.

When Obi-Wan approaches her, she continues to hide behind Boil. Meanwhile, Waxer explains that Numa knows her way around the tunnels.

When Obi-Wan asks in her language, she says she can lead them through the tunnels and even pulls on Boil's hand to come with her.

Numa then leads Obi-Wan, Waxer and Boil through the tunnels to where the other villagers are being held prisoner.

Obi-Wan hands Numa off to Waxer. When he later indicates for the two clones to follow him, Waxer puts Numa down and Boil gestures for her to stay quiet. Numa even mimics his hand gesture as she watches the two clones follow Obi-Wan.

After Obi-Wan frees the villagers, Numa reunites with her parent, and Waxer and Boil help Obi-Wan take out the enemies' main guns.

When the two clones get injured, Numa runs to them. This causes the other villagers to come out and join the fight against the droids.

Just as the tactical droid is about to fire on Obi-Wan and Numa, the villagers swoop in and save the day.

Leaving Numa

As Obi-Wan's company prepares to leave, Waxer bids Numa farewell first. He kneels down, puts a hand on her shoulder and then pats her head.

Waxer: See you later, little one.

Again, Waxer is more comfortable initiating physical affection than Boil is. He's also intentional about getting down on her level to say goodbye.

As Waxer walks off, Boil calls to her:

Boil: Hey, Numa. Stay out of trouble.

At some point off-screen, the clones found out Numa's name. I'm assuming Obi-Wan translated for them. So, it's significant that Boil calls her by name, now that they know what it is.

Boil also recognizes Numa has a penchant for getting into trouble, and tries to warn her against it.

Numa then runs to Boil, who's standing, and hugs his leg. Boil reaches down and puts a hand on her shoulder/back.

Like before, he's not as comfortable as Waxer with initiating physical affection, and he's still not very good about receiving it either. But, he's adjusted well enough.

Boil: Don't be afraid. We'll be back.

Both Waxer and Boil tell Numa this isn't the last time they'll meet. They really did form a strong bond with her, and while it's not clear when they would have a chance, they plan to return and see her again.

As Boil walks away too, Numa looks sad to see the clones go. Her parent comforts her. She calls out "nerra" to the clones several times as she waves goodbye.

Waxer, to Obi-Wan: Sir, what is that she keeps calling us? Obi-Wan: "Nerra." It means "brother."

The two clones then exchange a brief look with each other before turning back to Numa. Waxer waves goodbye, and the two clones walk off into the proverbial sunset with the rest of their company.

I think, in that moment, they were really struck by how Numa viewed them. They probably assumed "nerra" meant "friend" or something similar. They probably had no idea it meant something as powerful as "brother."

Clearly, Numa bonded with them so intensely and trusted them so much, she viewed them as family -- even as far back as their first conversation, when they took their helmets off and gave her food.

Remembering Numa

While we don't get many more appearances of Waxer or Boil, we do see them again in Seasons 2 and 4.

In Season 2, Boil has a picture of Numa on his helmet; and Waxer also has one on his helmet when he dies in Season 4.

It just goes to show how fondly they both remembered her. They literally painted her on their helmets, as if to say, "Heck yeah, we're Numa's brothers!" I can imagine them proudly talking about their “little sister” anytime someone asked about the design.

It's also implied that, at some point during or after the war, one or both clones returned to Ryloth to visit her.

When we see Numa in "Rebels," she's wearing 212th armor and even has Boil's name in Aurebesh on it. I know it's probably more of an Easter egg/headcanon, but I like to think Boil survived the war and returned to Ryloth to see her. It would explain how she got the armor and why his name is on it.

Plus, as I said, Boil is a soldier. He's not going to make promises flippantly. If he said "We'll be back," then I believe he’d follow through if/when he had the chance. I'm sure Waxer would've too, if he hadn't died on Umbara.

The three of them really had a special connection that lasted the rest of their lives.

Prefiguring Hunter & Crosshair

If it wasn't clear already, Waxer and Boil's dynamics with Numa -- both as a group and as individuals -- are very similar to Hunter and Crosshair's dynamics with Omega later in "The Bad Batch" series.

In both cases, two clone brothers are presented with a relatively helpless girl. One insists they have to help her, while the other is against it, believing their priority is their job as soldiers.

Even some of the dialogue is similar, with Crosshair and Boil both continually emphasizing how they need to "follow orders" and "complete the mission." Even Boil's "let her go" is similar to Crosshair telling Hunter:

Crosshair in 1.15: You want to protect the kid? Then let her go.

Ultimately, both sets of brothers decide their responsibility to their "little sister" is important, without forgetting their duty to each other, their other brothers and everyone else who's counting on them.

Similarities Between Boil & Crosshair

These two are definitely the more aggressive brothers in their respective duos. They both seem to have an affinity for heavy weaponry, and are always looking for an excuse to shoot something. Trigger-happy, in a word.

They're both also very practical and mission-driven. They're completely focused on their duty as soldiers. They're constantly bringing up their need to “complete the mission” and “follow orders,” even if it means leaving a girl to fend for herself. They also mention, at least once, their duty to keep their brothers safe as well.

Also, Boil and Crosshair criticize their brothers' paternal instincts when they initially meet their respective "little sisters". They protest taking her with them and/or bothering with her at all.

Later on, both Boil and Crosshair seem to generally care about their sisters' well-being, but not to the same degree as their brothers. They don't want to see her get hurt, but they also don't want to be around her either.

However, perhaps despite their best efforts, they ultimately give into their Dad Instincts™️. For both Boil and Crosshair, this seems to be when their respective "little sisters" are in great distress and/or danger.

For Boil, it's when he sees Numa crying in her ruined home, realizing just how much she's lost and how desperately she needs comfort and protection. For Crosshair, it's when he and Omega are imprisoned on Tantiss, when she has no other physical or emotional support system.

After their respective turning points, Boil and Crosshair seem to be more open to and comfortable around their "little sisters." They don't mind her displays of physical affection (holding hands, hugging, etc.), and do whatever they can to help and protect her.

Ultimately, both Boil and Crosshair have flavors of the "grumpy man who's actually a giant softie" trope, which is why the scenes of Numa hugging Boil and Omega hugging Crosshair hit similarly (at least they do for me).

There's one more specific thing I find interesting with these four characters: Boil and Crosshair calling their "little sisters" by name.

While Waxer was arguably closer to Numa, we never see him call her by name. He just calls her "little one," even after (apparently) finding out her name off-screen. But, Boil specifically calls her "Numa" in their final scene together.

Throughout TCW 1.20, Boil calls Numa "tail-head" and "monster" and "little biter." While I wonder if the latter was meant with some affection, the former two are definitely mean-spirited.

In the same way, throughout TBB Season 1 and 2, Crosshair calls Omega "a child" or "the kid" or his brothers' "little sidekick" in a demeaning way.

But, in Season 3, Crosshair only calls Omega by name. While his brothers and other characters often refer to Omega as "kid" or "the kid," Crosshair never does after Season 2. She is "Omega" from thereon.

Waxer and Hunter (and the others in CF99) can call Numa and Omega "little one" or "kid," because we know they mean it in an affectionate way.

But, Boil and Crosshair don't have that luxury, because they've only employed nicknames disrespectfully.

It also shows just how much both characters' attitudes have changed when they call their "little sisters" by name.

Finally, it's worth noting that while Boil and Crosshair were initially "against" Numa and Omega, respectively, their "little sisters" don't hold grudges.

In fact, even though they bonded with Waxer and Hunter more quickly and (arguably) more closely, the girls still consider Boil and Crosshair their "brothers" all the same. The girls hold them in an equal (or near equal) degree as they do Waxer and Hunter, despite Boil and Crosshair initially rejecting them.

Similarities Between Waxer & Hunter

Unlike their brothers, Waxer and Hunter are characterized as being more compassionate and caring from the get-go, even before meeting their "little sisters."

When he sees the devastation on Ryloth, Waxer wonders about the residents, whether they were killed, etc.

Meanwhile, throughout TBB 1.01 "Aftermath," Hunter lets Caleb Dume escape Order 66 and then lies to protect him. He also refuses to kill the civilians on Onderon, and starts to see the Empire for what it really is.

This is also a small thing, but we get parallel scenes of Waxer and Hunter noticing a probe droid that their brothers didn't.

In general, both Waxer and Hunter push back on their brothers' more cavalier attitudes toward people in danger/need.

Waxer repeatedly tells Boil they should do something about Numa, and then continues to worry about her well-being while she's following them.

In "Aftermath," when Hunter sees Crosshair trying to kill Caleb and then complaining they didn't kill civilians, he calls him out on it. He also generally confronts Crosshair about his obsession with "following orders," when that was something CF99 never worried about in the past.

Then, after they find out Omega is a fellow clone, Hunter insists they need to return to Kamino for Omega despite the dangers.

When meeting their "little sisters," Waxer and Hunter seem to be naturals with kids -- at least compared to their brothers.

They intentionally get down on their knees and talk to them at eye-level. They address them calmly and respectfully. Waxer takes off his helmet to show Numa he's not a droid. They try to make their "little sisters" feel safe and comfortable, despite the stressful situation.

Once their "little sisters" are with them, Waxer and Hunter very naturally switch into Dad Mode™️. They look out for them, protect them, give them reassuring head-pats, shoulder-touches, and so on. Weirdly, though, neither are very good with hugs initially, but they get there eventually.

On top of being more immediate, Waxer and Hunter's bonds with their "little sisters" are arguably much stronger than their brothers'.

Numa seems to be more comfortable around Waxer, especially initially, despite calling both clones "nerra" after they took off their helmets. Again, it's possible that she understood some of what they were saying, and realized Waxer was trying to help her while Boil really wasn't.

For Omega, she spends more time with Hunter early on, as Crosshair was separated from his family due to the Empire enhancing his inhibitor chip. Thus, she develops a very strong bond with Hunter very quickly. Even with Tech, Wrecker and Echo around as well, Omega and Hunter's bond is special.

Overall, Waxer and Hunter seem to be the "default" or "go-to" brother when Numa and Omega are in trouble.

Finally, I also find it interesting that the last gesture of farewell is Waxer and Hunter's.

Even though both Waxer and Boil turn back to look at Numa after finding out what "nerra" means, only Waxer decides to wave back at her.

Similarly, in the TBB series finale, the epilogue shows only Hunter saying goodbye to Omega. Even though both Omega and Hunter acknowledge the other brothers' role in her life, that final moment is theirs.

Just like Numa with Waxer, Omega bonded with Hunter first. So, it feels fitting that her final scene should be with him.

Final Thoughts

It's been fun rewatching "Innocents of Ryloth" and seeing these proto-versions of Hunter and Crosshair. I have no idea whether the TCW/TBB writers did that on purpose, but even if not, it makes for an powerful parallel.

Obviously, there are some major differences. Numa's parent was still alive, while Omega never had a proper parent to begin with. So, Hunter and his brothers arguably had an even greater responsibility to Omega than Waxer and Boil did to Numa.

Also, while Waxer and Boil definitely stayed in the "brother" category, as Numa's parent was still alive, Hunter (and his brothers) crossed over into the "dad" category in Omega's life.

Unlike Waxer and Boil, Hunter & co. took care Omega for years rather than a day or two. They provided for her; they taught her; and they cared for her physically and emotionally from the TBB series premiere to the epilogue.

If given the opportunity, I'm sure Waxer and Boil would've gone back to Ryloth and checked on Numa. Maybe, after the war, they would've even stayed long-term and kept an eye on her like a big brother or uncle might. Again, they bonded with her so strongly that they drew pictures of her on their helmets. They really thought of themselves as her brothers, and ran around battlefields representing her even months after meeting her.

As fans have joked about: put a Jango Fett clone in the immediate vicinity of a kid for a decent amount of time and they will turn into a Dad™️.

Doesn't matter if they're being mind-controlled. Doesn't matter if their priority is to follow orders. Doesn't matter if they're set to be shipped to another world once this mission's done. Doesn't matter if this is literally the first kid they've ever seen in their lives (except fellow clones).

And, even if they don't get enough "incubation time" around the kid to turn into a dad, they will -- at minimum -- turn into a Nerra™️.

[jarenka]

There are many languages of love and one of the is "I hope you are just joking about dying" (in a very irritated and a bit concerned voice).

(But also the fact that Obi-Wan was returned from dead by the Force gave Anakin a lot of weird ideas...)

[wickerwax]

limited intel (Codywan First Kiss Bingo 1)

The rain is pounding on the thick plasti-canvas roof of the tent when he wakes, but it isn’t what wakes him.

Their make-shift war-room and bunk combo is quiet under the drumming water but the single cot next to his is empty, and one of the little motion activated lights by the entry flap is dimming. When he reaches a hand out, the misery-thin synthwool is still warm.

Condensation is sleeting the inside of the near wall of the tent.

Cody is considering his options when the cover flaps back and General Kenobi re-enters. He doesn’t seem to notice that Cody is awake and watching him, just walks to the table and sits heavily on one of the stools. Being that simply not moving has never once been a winning strategy against his General, Cody feels his curiosity and faint concern curdle into alarm.

His General’s broad shoulders slump, very slightly. His back rounds. His robe is damp. Cody watches a drop of water escape the thick wave of his hair to plink against the holotable.

“Sir,” he says, quiet, and watches Kenobi’s spine turn to beskar.

“Commander,” he responds, equally quiet. “All is well, the watch is undisturbed. You may continue to rest.”

Cody sits up. General Kenobi sighs. “Truly, Cody, nothing is wrong.”

“Respectfully, sir, but if that were true we would both be sleeping.” Cody is nettled enough to already be moving to his own stool at the table. He takes a close look at his General in the faint light of the renewed motion sensor but -

If it weren’t the middle of the night cycle, if he hadn’t woken suddenly and seen the faintest chinks in this man’s composure already, he would never have thought something was amiss. Kenobi is bright-eyed and steady, even the dampness curling his hair only making him look warmer and more real, the drip having ceased to be within moments.

He smiles at Cody. “Not so, Commander, for here we are. No alarms, no issues, just a spot of unexpected wakefulness.”

And it – it almost fits. Having woken for no real reason, his General would have checked with the watch that all was well. Might choose to sit and poke at the battle plans or flimsiwork for a bit if he had felt too awake to sleep.

His posture falling defeated though, just- doesn’t fit right. They’ve been in this together for over a year and he’s seen Kenobi in all manner of states but the man doesn’t lose his composure easily, doesn’t falter – has seen him beaten and bruised and all-but-unconscious from exhaustion and he simply moves with it all. The slump – the bend-

It doesn’t fit right at all.

He raises an eyebrow and Kenobi’s smile fades. He studies Cody across the table and he has never feared that bright, clear gaze but in this moment he does wonder what he sees. What he’s looking for.

He can only be what he is. Cody gazes back.

His General breathes out slowly. “Ah, Cody. This will sound foolish to you, no doubt, but it’s the rain.”

Another long look. Cody doesn’t react beyond a short nod. He waits.

Kenobi rests his chin on one hand and waits back. He finds himself studying the fan of his eyelashes when he looks down, the silver feathering in at his temples, the lines curling from his eyes to meet it. The sensor light blinks out, leaving them in the dark.

His patience is vast but it is not a Jedi’s. He breaks first. “It doesn’t sound foolish to me, sir.” Kenobi sighs. “Kamino was not a joyful place to grow up – you would not be the first in my experience to associate the rain with unpleasant things.” And it has to be that and not the noise level because he’s seen his General sleep through a Skywalker explanation – to Cody and Rex, since General Kenobi had been with Skywalker for the experience. He’s seen his General sleep through a Ghost Squad squatting competition then, and they only knew the meaning of quiet when it was mission-critical.

“Obi-Wan, if you would, Cody. Or Kenobi. We’re neither of us on duty, as far as that goes.” He makes a motion with his hand and something moves near the door. The sensor light blooms again. A piece of flimsi returns to the table.

He looks faintly pained and Cody can bend this much. “Kenobi, then,” he says, “but I still don’t think you foolish.”

He looks far too grateful for such a small thing, fingers smoothing his moustache as some tension Cody couldn’t have picked out before, but notes for its absence, leeches away.

“No,” he says, thoughtful. “No, you wouldn’t at that. Did Kamino ever have troubles with...flooding?”

“Flooding?” Cody repeats, because drowning, being washed away, the whip and crack of the storms being the last you see of anything – that’s familiar. The idea that the Kaminoans would allow the chaos of the storms to breech what they had deemed sterile? That- “Not as such. Not by rainfall.”

But he can’t imagine the Temple had a flooding issue either. Outside, the rain continues to beat down.

He frowns at his General, who has turned his face to the entrance flaps and is watching the small puddle forming there from his breaking the seal to check with the boys on watch. The furrow in his brows is too deep for what could be swept away, soaked up, by a wayward sock. ”Have you had experience with floods, si- uh, Kenobi?”

His General does not look back at him. “I have.” he says, barely audible above the thrumming background noise. “It is...an unkind way to wake. To lose shelter. Not the weather, you understand, but the-” he stops, sudden. His hand on the table clenches.

He does not pick up the sentence. Lets it hang, the drawn-breath tension of it rising as surely as water does.

Cody does not know what to do with this thread left unwoven and unclipped. General Kenobi’s face in the pale glow is still serene but his knuckles on one hand are white.

The light shuts off.

This time, Kenobi does not move to reset it.

In the dark, even his enhanced vision only barely makes out the shape of his General. He gets an impression of faint motion, makes out barelythe gentle rasp of hair on skin and suspects Kenobi is rubbing at his face on his off-side. “It’s late, Cody. We should get some more rest.”

Among his brothers, there is so much they don’t say. What is the point in saying most of it? They were bred and built for war and dying in it is expected. Personhood is – complicated. Talking is difficult.

But they lean, and hug, and wrestle. He has seen his General with other Jedi and certainly there is contact there too, if more reserved with an audience – but his General is not a public man, for all he is a public figure.

He reaches out and catches the hand still resting, tense, on the tabletop. General Kenobi catches his breath and Cody squeezes those chilled fingers. “We can rest now, and in the morning check our set-up for anything that might be vulnerable to the rain. We might need to, uh – dig-”

“Drainage.” Kenobi murmurs, and the table isn’t so big but he’s definitely imagining the warm breath on their joined hands – he knows that from the unmoving shadow. He imagines it anyway. He imagines it’s his own breath.

“Drainage.” Cody agrees. They don’t have a lot of building material spare but they’ll have something they can use to reinforce the bottom edges of things. They tend to set up their sites as carefully as possible given time and intel constraints – including elevation concerns – but sometimes being too high and visible is worse than the extra cover some measures lower down. They hadn’t been told to expect heavy rain but this planet isn’t a particular flood risk that he read. It’s worth checking anyway – for peace of mind.

At least it wasn’t pure dirt underfoot, they have growing ground-cover to help out with the ever-unpleasant mud possibility.

Kenobi’s hand turns in his and squeezes back. “Thank you, Commander.” he says and it’s – candle flickering in a window warm. It’s not having to requisition more armour – more men - because they didn’t lose anyone. It’s finding that Waxer saved him a serve of the good caf on a particularly crap morning.

Cody does not squeak. He might shift on his stool and the poor mass-produced thing complains at the motion.

“It’s...nothing, General. Kenobi.”

He gets another comforting squeeze, and then his General is loosening his grip, rising to stand and Cody follows him up, stepping around the table automatically – grabs at the relaxing hold without thinking about it and they’re not in the sensor field so-

He finds himself, abruptly, standing in the dark close enough to his General to feel the warmth of his body – no shielding armour in the middle of the night, no – still holding his hand.

“Cody,” Kenobi says, and he sounds amused, and this time the flutter of warm breath against his skin is not his imagination. If he could see-

If he could see he would have to turn himself in for reconditioning, probably. He can pretend, right now, that this is just a peculiarly vivid dream.

It’s not. It’s not a dream. Kenobi tilts his head and Cody knows because he knows him but also because the angle of the warmth against his face changes and he tightens his grip – little gods help him, he doesn’t mean to but he tightens his grip and-

Kenobi makes no move to pull away from him, allows him the trespass he is committing on his fingers -

A hand cups his cheek as his General sighs faintly. He strokes his thumb over Cody’s cheekbone and it burns, it sends a shudder working down his spine – he makes some kind of tiny, choking noise under the never-ending drum of rain. Kenobi seems to hear it anyway. He drops his hand from Cody’s face despite the gut that drops with it and says, “You don’t need to worry about me, my dear Commander. It is an old worry, and far less rational than I appreciate. All is well.”

All is not well. Cody now knows the touch of ‘sabre calluses on his cheek.

“Ken- Obi-Wan,” he says, hoarse. They are off-duty. He would forgive this intimacy. He is forgiving how Cody is clinging to their one real point of contact – he reached out as a comfort, and now cannot make himself give it up so soon. “Obi-Wan, I-”

He doesn’t know what he wants to say, and Obi-Wan’s hand twitches in his anyway.

“I want to help,” he finishes, helplessly. “I want to be – a comfort. To you.”

Impulsive, as this entire experience has been impulsive, he draws their hands up. He cannot see the hand his is wrapped around but he feels well enough to curl the fingers of his free hand around Obi-Wan’s wrist. The pulse there is drumming as fast as the rain overhead. Cody’s Jedi is not afraid, but he doesn’t dare think what he might otherwise be.

He lowers his face and presses his lips to the back of his own hand. Blind, he cannot see the expression on Obi-Wan’s face – knows it is one he has not seen before. Knows the not-seeing is a mercy. Knows he would not be able to forget it, when his hand jerks in Cody’s grip and his pulse spikes against Cody’s thumb. And Cody is so aware of how little he would have to move his lips to brush over his thumb – taste his skin, the faint salt he imagines there, the hard edge of his nail against his bottom lip. He breathes out, instead.

“I want to help,” he repeats against his own skin.

“You do, Cody.” It should not be a shock to hear his voice so close and so low. The rain and the dark have closed them in together, like passing secrets. “Every day, I swear it. You do.”

Neither of them can see but he feels those blue eyes on his skin all the same. Holds on to it even as he disentangles himself, lets Obi-Wan – lets his General go. As they move the few steps to the cots, as the rustling of sub-par blankets settles.

He strains his ears over the rain to hear his General breathing. Knows he isn’t asleep, not like that, not so fast. He sounds it though – deep and measured and even. Only – he’s shifting slightly in place, the blankets too scratchy to not betray it. Restless.

Cody finds himself curled with his hands tucked near his face. He listens, and listens, and listens, and if he kisses the back of his hand one more time – there’s no one there to see.

@codywanfirstkissbingo First up: sensory kiss

[padawansuggest]

Obi-Wan has one of the often photographed windows of the temple. And by that. I mean he has a window full of nothing but space squishmallows and the public gets super concerned whenever he has to take them down for a bit, or excited when he changes them a bit or adds new ones. I can’t explain it, he just has a window full of stuffies.

[tennessoui]

wip pi-day

Rarely, if ever, does Anakin emerge from the newly established mind healing wing of the Halls of Healing with a smile on his face. But this time, it’s absolutely called for, and he holds his prize in careful hands beneath the sleeves of his robes as he moves through the corridors of the Jedi Temple.

Obi-Wan is exactly where he knew he’d be, which in of itself feels a bit like a prize—to know the other man’s ins and outs and routines and patterns. To have been allowed to learn them and then allowed to stay through their shiftings and their changes.

It’s early in the morning still on a Friday. When he has the choice, which Anakin’s mindhealer likes to stress to him that he always does, Anakin prefers mind-healing sessions very early in the morning. Criminally early, Healer Chanirie, who is not a morning person by nature, had grumbled once into her caf before seeming to remember that that word could hold a bit too much unintended weight for someone like Anakin, who narrowly avoided a criminal trial of his own given his role in Sidious’ downfall—also referred to in some circles as the Supreme Chancellor’s cold-blooded murder.

Obi-Wan, who has found a handful of things to feel an intense sort of snobbery about—also referred to in some circles as pride and a healthy appreciation for a higher standard of quite achievable quality, thank you, Anakin—tends to scorn the refectory meals at the end of the week in favor of sneaking out—I am a Jedi Master, Anakin, of quite a few years now, I’m not sneaking anywhere—to the markets in the Mid-Levels of the Coruscanti Primaeri district to gorge himself on—purchase and snack on, really, and where I spend my credits is of no concern to—honeyed pieces of pastry rolled in a salty and sugary nut mixture.

So that’s where Anakin catches him, in the Southern entrance hall of the Temple with honey-sugar still stuck to the tips of his fingers. It’s incredibly convenient that Obi-Wan’s passing by a small alcove when Anakin reaches him because he doesn’t think he has the wherewithal to stop himself from kissing the sweet traces of his master’s contraband breakfast from his knuckles, even if they are in plain sight of any wandering eye.

[eldritch-spouse]

Idk if this has been mentioned before but a poly relation ship with Morell and Obie.

(I end up with too much food too often, I like to imagine giving ingredients to Morell to make something yommy and then we use it to feed hungry yellow.)

[This is being written in the perspective of a poly "V" type dynamic where you are the joint.]

TW: Unhygienic food kink

Oh, you're putting on weight, it's unavoidable. Assert boundaries repeatedly if you'd like to stay within a certain range. If not, know that they love your body and will be concerned over drastic weight loss.

While both the glutton and the shroom agree that a complete diet is essential to your well-being and will never let you skip a meal, the two can and will bicker over differing tastes.

Morell is a bit of a kitchen snob, as you know, but Obie will just eat asphalt if it looks appetizing enough. This results in Obie often handing you things that Morell categorizes openly as "slop" or "garbage", which wounds Obie's pride as a glutton, and subsequently has them arguing.

When both of them are on the same page however, you're guaranteed to eat some of the most orgasmic meals of your entire life.

This duo is essentially food kink x2, they'll both be all over you while you eat, and often like to decorate your body in little snacks and toppings before going to town. There is now twice the chance that one of them, or both, have cum in your food every now and then.

One negative aspect here is that Obie won't do anything about Morell's sinister desire to sometimes feed you meat of other humans. He can tell what type of flesh is being used, but wordlessly allows this to happen, eventually starting to understand why Morell finds it so fascinatingly hot. After all, it's all the same to Obie, he's torn chunks out of other demons before.

Both of them are great hunters. While Morell takes great enjoyment out of trapping and chasing game during proper events, usually with family- Obie doesn't have this as a hobby. However, just like any demon, he can tap into a viciously primal part of himself and be equally as effective, if not better. What typically happens here is that both will hunt together, Morell being the brains of the operation, and Obie the relentless starved hound.

Rest assured this tactic will be used to locate you, if you ever manage to escape them. At the peril of you possibly losing a limb in the process.

Surprise surprise, both of them have fantasies of eating you. Although, unexpectedly, they can keep each other in line, simply exciting each other when sharing those thoughts, usually outside of your field of hearing.

[221bshrlocked]

Broken and Grazed, Loved and Saved

Pairing: Crosshair x Jedi AFAB!Reader

Words: 4724

Warnings: Mutual Pining. Mentions of violence and blood. Touching Confessions! Angst to fluff because you know it. Crosshair being a tiny bit soft...just a tiny bit.

Summary: You get shot while trying to save Crosshair. He's shocked and confused as to why you would do such a thing. You both slowly reveal your feelings for each other as he patches you up.

A/N: I crawled back from my writer's block hell hole to post this. This is during The Clone Wars series folks, hence the Jedi insert. Once again, thank you so much to @cloneficgiftexchange for holding this event and single-handedly getting me to write every once in a while. This is for the lovely @arctrooper69 who inadvertently gave me a challenge with Crosshair. I hope you enjoy it babes and I hope I got his character down correctly. This is the first time I write for him. As always, let me know how I am doing in the comments please and thank you.

When Obi-Wan informed you that you’d be accompanying Clone Force 99 on another mission, you tried your best to not let your excitement come through. But one look at your old friend and the smirk on his face made you realize you may not have been as subtle as you originally thought. 

“Shut it Kenobi,” you walk past him, shaking your head when you briefly glanced to the side and saw him raising an eyebrow at you. He chuckles at your embarrassment, and you’re torn between making fun of him and letting him be. It was rare to see him display such an elated emotion, and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him when finally caught up with you and patted you on the back. 

“In all seriousness, do be careful out there.” A worried expression breaks through the smile and you nod at him, knowing that the sentiment wasn’t one of warning but deep concern for your safety. 

“As weird as it is to admit this, I feel like I might potentially be safest with them.” You come to a stop once you reach the door of the Temple, looking around the awfully quiet space before returning your attention to Obi-Wan once more. 

“I would have to disagree with you there. The rate at which they use explosives is severely higher than any other force I have fought alongside. Nevertheless, I trust your judgment. Do keep me updated, yes?” When you don’t respond right away, Obi-Wan follows your line of sight and notices where your attention suddenly lies. He groans to himself and wishes he wasn’t the keeper of so many secrets. 

“Young one!?” You snap out of your momentary haze when Obi-Wan quite literally yells at you, his voice carrying across the grounds and catching the curiosity of none other than the man you found yourself barely able to stop thinking of. 

“Sorry, yes?” You feign ignorance, giggling like a young padawan when Obi-Wan rubs his temples and swears beneath his breath.

“I’m only joking. Yes I will be careful, sure I’ll try my best not to get into trouble, and of course I won’t partake in Wrecker’s booming tactics. Satisfied?” You don’t wait for him to respond, already walking towards the Marauder and praying to the Force that the introvert of the group is less hostile towards you this time around. When you grow near to the clones standing at the foot of the ramp, you turn around one last time and wave goodbye to Obi-Wan, laughing when he rolls his eyes at you and heads back into the Temple. As soon as you turn around, you’re met with an incredibly energetic Wrecker, your shock turning into hysterical laughter as soon as he wraps his arms around you and picks you up. 

“Heyyy, it’s our favorite Jedi!” His grip on you remains gentle even though he’s lifted you off of the ground a good bit. 

“Hey Wrecker, I see you missed me as much as I missed you.” You gently tap him on his shoulder, hoping he’d put you down before any other Jedi sees how familiar you are with him. 

“Wreck, put the General down.” You glance to the side and see Hunter standing with his hands on his hips, his facial expression a bit unreadable. You laugh nervously at the leader of the Bad Batch, hoping Wrecker wouldn’t get in trouble because of your friendliness. 

To his chagrin, Wrecker puts you down and backs away, whispering a few apologies before returning to stand next to Tech.

“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t encourage it.” You tell Hunter as the two of you walk away from the rest of the Batch, your eyes unintentionally remaining on your favorite member of the group. If Hunter notices how you pay more attention to Crosshair, he says nothing of it and pretends you weren’t watching him like a hawk. 

“No need for any apologies, General. I don’t particularly care but I know how things are on Coruscant. Wouldn’t want him to be misunderstood.” Hunter points towards the Clones standing around the Temple with other Jedi Masters, smiling nervously at you when you sigh anxiously at the prospect of being the reason behind Wrecker potentially getting in trouble. 

“I promise to talk to him. And I’ll make sure to only be friendly when we’re not surrounded by…you know.” You try to laugh off the circumstances you find yourself in, only for Hunter’s body language to shift at the implications behind your words. 

“I’d be careful if I were you. Even if they aren’t around, others tend to misunderstand and- well, let’s just say that things get a little heated when we finish a mission and you aren’t on-board anymore.” You furrow your eyebrows at Hunter’s response, only to follow his line of sight and see who he’s staring at. When you’re met with Crosshair’s narrowed, irritated eyes shifting between you and Wrecker, you realize that Hunter may know more than he let on. 

“I- I don’t think you-” You trip over your words, unsure of how to respond now that Hunter knew of your inclinations as well. 

“Save it, I’m not judging…just giving you a heads up.” He excuses himself, saying something or other to Tech as the two of them ascend the Marauder. You look to the ground as you make your way to the ship, afraid of making eye contact with any of the others out of fear of making things more awkward. Even as you walk past Crosshair, you ignore him completely, pretending to fix the lightsaber hanging from your belt so you don’t have to deal with him now. As soon as you go to the cockpit, you throw a quick hello to Echo and walk back, pushing through the supplies scattered around so you can sit in the small space at the end of the ship. 

Even though you want to sit near Crosshair, you decide against it, knowing that you don’t have the capacity to deal with his passive aggressive comments now. You haven’t seen him in a long while, and there’s nothing you wish to do more than be near him, even if the two of you were to remain silent. But if the conversation with Hunter proved anything, it’s the fact that Crosshair was begging to pick a fight right now. You just didn’t want it to be with you. 

Taking a deep breath, you do your best to center yourself and ignore the whispers and murmurs traveling from the cockpit. You manage a fair job for most of the flight, but the closer you get to the Outer Rim planet, you vaguely hear your name thrown around between Hunter, Tech and Wrecker. You know better than to listen to what they’re saying, and before you can decide on whether or not you should ignore them, Wrecker stands up and grumbles something louder than the others would have preferred. 

“She doesn’t mind! You’re just telling me what to do because Crosshair won’t listen to you and talk to her.” Your eyes shoot wide open at his words, and as you turn around to face them, you see all of their expressions turn blank. Wrecker only recognizes just how loud he is when he faces you and sees a quizzical look on your features. He chuckles nervously and sits down as Echo makes his way towards you. 

“Sorry about that, we know how much you like to meditate.” He sits down beside you, glaring quickly at Wrecker so he doesn’t accidentally give anything else away. 

“It’s okay, it’s not like I was getting much meditation done anyway. You guys whisper pretty loudly.” 

“You mean you- could you hear us this whole time?” Echo asks, the direct gaze you offer him letting him know that yes, you could certainly hear what they were going on about this whole time. 

“You know then.” It was more of a comment than a question, but you shrug your shoulders at him regardless, unsure of whether they were telling the truth or just reading into the interactions between you and Crosshair. Before you can respond however, you feel the ship drop out of hyperspace and into the atmosphere of the planet.

“Another time Echo,” you ignore the pleading look on Echo’s face, not wanting to continue this conversation now that the mission officially commenced. Making your way to the front of the ship, you look across the yellow planet below you and sigh in irritation when you notice the storms forming just above the surface. 

“Did you know that Eshil is one of three desert planets that receives frequent rain? Rain storms are often violent here, delivering up to seven millimeters per minute. It is more likely for one to drown down there than to die of thirst.” The ease with which Tech spoke made you giggle, and you couldn’t help but thank him politely for the unsolicited knowledge when you saw Wrecker and Echo glare at him worryingly. 

“Don’t worry big guy, nothing will happen to you on my watch.” You pat Wrecker on the back as you begin your descent onto Eshil, and before you can attempt to calm him down a little, the Marauder begins to shake violently due to the rain and thunderstorms. In a moment of distraction, you lose your balance and fly backward, suddenly feeling a pair of slim fingers grab onto your waist to prevent you from falling. Thinking it’s Hunter who just saved you, you turn around to thank him, only to find a pair of steel, hazel eyes staring dead at you. 

The faint gasp doesn’t go unnoticed by Crosshair, nor does the disappointed look you throw at him when he lets go so he can push you into one of the seats. 

“Don’t hurt yourself, Jedi.” His tone is mocking in a way, but you don’t dwell too much on it and instead look around to see if anyone noticed the little interaction. Everyone is blissfully unaware of the tense moment you shared with Crosshair, and even though you can feel his eyes on you, you choose to avoid his gaze, afraid he would see how much of an effect he has on you. 

It takes too long to your liking to land, not because you didn’t like the turbulence, but because you couldn’t stand being in close proximity with Crosshair any longer. An hour ago, you were excited to join the team, wanting nothing more than to try and get closer to Crosshair, or at the very least, figure out why he’s always more passive aggressive with you than with anyone else. But after the not-so-subtle comment from Hunter, and the rather awkward conversation you overheard, you couldn’t finish this mission and be back on Coruscant fast enough. Somehow, knowing that the animosity was a product of mutual feelings made things worse.

No, not worse. That wasn’t the right word. 

Real. It made things real. It made things more accessible, which meant that the probability of anything happening was simultaneously high and low. 

“We’re here,” Hunter’s announcement is a welcomed distraction, and you wait until everyone stands aside to review the plan before jumping out of the Marauder. The rain comes down harsher than you’ve anticipated but you take a few seconds to appreciate it regardless, knowing that it wasn’t everyday you experienced rain caused by clean, natural clouds. It was so much different than Coruscant, strangely soothing as it seeped through your clothes and kissed your cheeks. 

The cool sensation suddenly shifts into a warmer breeze, causing your eye muscles to clench tightly in confusion. The feeling engulfs you almost like a hug, and you’re not sure how or why it becomes hotter with each passing second. It’s only when you open your eyes and glance to the side that you finally understand why you were being flooded with such intensity. You quickly avert your gaze as soon as you notice Crosshair’s embarrassment when he realizes that you’ve caught him staring at you. 

“Alright fellas, listen up. Our mission is simple: infiltrate the base undetected, retrieve the classified intel from their innermost vaults, exfiltrate before they even know we’re there. Stay sharp and Wrecker…no explosives unless I say so.” Hunter points firmly at the bigger clone, and you almost giggle when you see the hint of a grin appearing on his face. 

“Awww man!” Wrecker throws his hands up in the air, walking away and crossing his arms when he sees you approaching him. 

“Don’t worry big guy, there’s always a next time.” You pat him on the back, laughing to yourself when he retorts at you like a child.

“That’s what you said last time.”

“But I really mean it this time,” you twist your head down until you can get a better look at him, and when you meet his eyes, you watch as he tries his best to not crack a smile in return. When he does, you walk past him and stay behind Hunter as he slowly moves through the barren land. The closer you get to the compound though, the more you become uneasy at your lack of cover, but before you can say anything, the rain begins to come down harder than you thought it possible, making you squint to try and see where everyone is. 

“I guess that should do the trick!” You hear Echo scream from behind you, but the sentiment makes you uncomfortable. The idea of losing the rest of them before you even make it to the enemy line is disconcerting, and you make your way towards Hunter quickly. When he sees you approaching him, he stops and waits for you to catch up. 

“Follow my lead and make sure everyone keeps their helmets on so they can see.” You throw the hood of your cloak over your head a little further, the action not helping one bit as the water continues to crash down on you like a waterfall. 

“When we get there-” 

“I’ll signal for Echo so he can unlock the doors.” Waiting until he nods in agreement, you continue your journey towards the compound, praying to the maker that the enemy’s visibility is as bad as yours. The trek to the compound takes longer than you like, but when you finally have it in sight, you turn around and wait for the others to reach you. Hunter and Tech are ahead of everyone, and you squint hard until you can see Echo and Wrecker behind them. When Crosshair doesn’t show right away, you begin to worry, afraid that the rain became less of an inconvenience and more of a trigger to him. You’re about to run past the guys when you finally see him walking through the heavy downfall, no longer holding his firearm in his hands and instead taking his time as he walks towards the rest of the team. Even though you can’t see his expression, you know for a fact that Hunter is smirking beneath his mask, and you choose to ignore him as you go back to the front of the Batch and walk closer to the compound.

“There aren’t any guards posted outside. The storm must have sent everyone back inside.” You make a note, signaling for Echo to move ahead of you while the others wait a little farther away in case things don’t go according to plan. Anxiety washes over you all of a sudden, and you glance at the only member of the Batch you know dislikes the rain more than anyone. If Crosshair notices the way you’re staring at him worryingly, he says nothing and keeps his attention on your surroundings, ready to fire at anyone who comes in the way. 

When Echo unlocks the door, Tech follows after and heads straight towards the secured vaults at the heart of the compound. It’s quieter than you expect, but you figure it’s only because the storm continues to rage outside and grow louder by the second. As you move towards the vault however, you find the silence nearly deafening, and you wonder briefly if this entire mission could be a set-up. Before you can voice your concerns to Hunter, Tech gains access to the room with ease, already getting to work for the intel with Echo. You stand guard outside while Hunter and Wrecker scout the hallways and ensure you don’t have any visitors. 

Using the distraction to your advantage, you slowly make your way to Crosshair and stand beside him, waiting until he acknowledges your presence with a glance before attempting to break the awkward air around the two of you. 

“I hope the rain isn’t too much of a bother.” You’re not sure what else to say, and as you realize he won’t be responding any time soon, you figure it’s best to not try and fix whatever it is between the two of you now. Knowing that it will be even more uncomfortable if you walk away from him, you remain standing where you are, turning your attention to Tech and Echo to see if they’re almost done. 

The abrupt sound of guns firing pushes you forward immediately, and you watch as several weapons descend from the ceiling and the walls, instantly firing at everyone in the room. You make your way to the nearest wall and burn through the small firearms with your lightsaber, watching as Crosshair hits several more on the opposite side of the wall while Tech and Echo extract the intel. 

“I knew it was too quiet.” You mutter to yourself, running as fast as you can across the space to get as many of the little suckers as possible. When there aren’t any left, you sheath your weapon again and move towards the door. 

“Time to head out,” Hunter screams across the hallway and as you file out, you sense movement at one of the corners of the room. It’s instinctive the way you run towards Crosshair and shield him with your body, and your curse at yourself for not ensuring that all of them were taken down. Anger seeps through your mind at what could have been a fatal mistake and you ignite your saber instantly, propelling it towards the small object and bringing it back into the palm of your hand as more smoke fills the room. 

“We need to leave, now.” Your voice is stern, and even though you can see Crosshair staring at where you’ve just been shot, you don’t pay him any mind as you run through the winding hallways and make your way out of the compound. It’s somehow raining even harder than earlier, and you feel your body grow more faint with each step you take. The faster you try to run, the more unbearable the pain becomes, and it occurs to you that you would be no good to any of them if you slowed them down. 

You come to a stop and haunch over, applying pressure against your stomach and wincing in pain when more blood oozes through your fingers. Thinking that they’re all ahead of you, you kneel down and allow the rain to become less of an inconvenience and more of a calming presence. 

“What are you doing?” Crosshair hisses as he comes up behind you, and when you lock contact with his eyes, you regret not pushing yourself harder. 

“I’m fine…go!” You hope your voice isn’t as wavering to his ears as it is to your own, and when he shakes his head, you attempt to stand to confront him, only to fall back to the ground again. 

“Tech, bring the ship to my position.” You cruse yet again as Crosshair pushes a button on the side of his helmet while speaking to Tech. 

“Why have you stopped?” You can hear Hunter ask through the comms, and you look at Crosshair again, silently begging him to leave so he doesn’t get hurt. 

“The General’s been compromised.” He leans down and pushes your hands aside to inspect the wound, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think that he was angry at you for getting shot…for saving him. 

“You need to go to the Marauder. That’s an order.” You hiss in pain when you feel him bring your hand back to your stomach and push on it harder than before. 

“You’re currently bleeding all over the floor. You’re in no shape to give me orders…General.” He’s pushing your buttons, but unlike before, when he smirked at every snarky comment he threw your way and chuckled when you retorted in likeness, his voice is laced with unspoken feelings now, as if he was silently thanking you for what you did for him. 

Before you can dwell too much on the change in his behavior, the Marauder lands right beside you, allowing you a moment of respite before Wrecker comes down the ramp and takes you in his arms. The jolting movements make you cough as your stomach throbs in pain, and you take one last look at Crosshair, finding his expression as irritated as when you were on your way here. 

To his credit, Wrecker does try to be more slow and soft with his movements, but when he lays you down, you can’t help but scream in agony at the wound tearing through your skin. 

“S-sorry.” You shake your head at Wrecker and assure him with a smile, only to drop it when Tech comes with a medkit and asks his brother to give you some privacy. 

“I do apologize General but I must cut your robe to administer the bacta spray and patches properly.” Ever the gentleman, Tech waits for your consent before taking out a pair of scissors. He’s about to cut through your robes when Crosshair walks in and stands behind him.

“If you can wait out-”

“I’ll do it.” Crosshair doesn’t give Tech a chance to finish his request, and when he stands up to argue with him, you reach for Tech’s hand and nod at him, waiting until he places everything down before moving towards the front of the ship. 

You’re sure Crosshair didn’t think this far ahead because he remains standing and doesn’t once turn his sight away from your wound. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” You break the silence and push your head back as the wound continues to burn. It must be all Crosshair needs to hear because he gets right to business, not once saying anything to you as he rips through your robes and begins to disinfect the flesh around the gash. You hiss and instantly slam your hand against his thigh, digging your nails into the plastoid covering him as he sterilizes the laceration to prevent any infection. 

“What were you thinking?” It’s the first time he’s ever spoken to you so softly, and you figure it’s because you’re hurt and can’t respond in likeness. But when you open your eyes and look at him, you’re shocked to find worry and fear swimming in his hazel brown orbs. It throws you off a little, and you shake the thoughts aside, knowing that you may just be reading too much into his behavior.

“At the time, I thought it was a great idea!” You chuckle only to curse out loud when he begins to apply the bacta spray on top of the wound. You think he’ll smile at catching you off guard, but when you look at him again, he’s as somber as a few seconds ago.

“And now?” Crosshair growls at you, actually growls, the sound coming as a shock to you. It occurs to you that maybe, just maybe, he was attempting to show you that he cares, but wasn’t sure how to go about it. When he stops what he’s doing and continues to keep his gaze on you, you lay your head back down and allow the subsiding pain to calm you a little. 

“Maybe…maybe not so much.” He narrows his eyes at you then, the expression becoming a little too intense for you and making you turn away to face the wall. Not another word is exchanged between you and him, and as he finally places the bacta patches on your stomach, you turn to face him again, no longer able to keep playing whatever game he started. 

“Thank you, for not leaving…for staying with me.” Crosshair continues to remain silent, his focus completely on the wound he was dressing. 

“And thank you for patching me up.” Again, he doesn’t acknowledge any of your words, waiting until he’s sure the wound is perfectly protected before throwing everything back into the medkit. You think he’s about to leave but when he finally looks up, you notice his eyebrows relax as he lets out a deep breath. 

“Why would you do that?”

The question catches you off guard, and you figure you may as well tell him how you feel because you’re not sure what will happen tomorrow. 

“You know why.” The simple whisper holds a thousand confessions, and Crosshair clenches his jaw tightly as he reaches for your hand. You gasp at the warmth of his skin, and swallow the lump in your throat when he grabs a wet towel and begins to clean the dried blood. You’re not sure how long you hold your breath, but when he’s done, he doesn’t let go. In fact, he does the opposite, bringing both of his rough palms around your own and keeping it as close to him as possible. 

“I- I’m not worth your-” The sentiment breaks your heart and you furrow your eyebrows at him as you attempt to sit up, not wanting him to finish whatever he was about to say. The stinging returns a thousandfold but you ignore the shooting pain and pull Crosshair towards you.

“Don’t ever say that.” You want to say more. You want to tell him that you’d gladly do it again to ensure his safety, that you wouldn’t give it a second thought because you care for him more than you’re allowed, more than he’ll ever know. But the way he looks at you makes it difficult to say anything else, and you lay back down again when your muscles beg you for some respite. Crosshair doesn’t let go of your hand. If anything, his hold on you tightens as he moves to sit closer to you. 

“It was annoying.” Whatever you thought he was going to say is certainly not those three words, and the confusion etched on your face makes him crack a smile before finally looking from your hand to you. 

“The rain.” You look at him for what feels like hours before you finally register what he was trying to tell you. 

“Wow, it took me getting shot at for you to finally answer my question…an hour later?” The joke doesn’t sit too well with him and you apologize quickly, afraid he’d get up and leave you all alone. 

“I- I didn’t think you’d…” The words die in his throat, and you look down at where your hands are intertwined, wanting to give him some privacy as he comes to terms with what he was feeling, what he was oversharing with you. 

“Remember?” You finish for him, smiling when he nods quietly and begins to trace the lines across the back of your hand.

“I remember everything you tell me, Crosshair.” Once again, the simple response is laced with too many revelations to your liking, but you know you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t use this moment to show him how much you care. 

How much you love him.

He looks at you then, about to say something when he sees your face twist at the returning stinging sensations. 

“You need to rest.” His voice is firm, making you wish you weren’t hurt and could actually make whatever this is last longer. 

“Will you be here when I wake up?” Before, you would have been annoyed with yourself for being so vulnerable in front of him, but the question must be the one thing he needed to hear because he smiles softly at you before nodding in silence, bringing his chair a little closer to you can rest your arm better as you keep holding his hands.

“Sleep, cyare. I’ll protect you.”

[fanfic-obsessed]

Derailed

This is another funny one.  I certainly giggled while writing it. 

When Palpatine goes to imply that Padme is cheating on Anakin, Anakin does not freak out. Instead he brightens and says something to the effect of ‘Oh! it must have been time to drug Obi Wan again’ and/or several other things that leave Palpatine with the impression that Anakin and Padme are having regular threesomes with Obi Wan…or are regularly drugging and having their way with Obi Wan.

Note 1:This is not what is happening. There really isn’t even any drugging going on. It turns out that the twins, still gestating, radiate such a strong aura of light and love that it allows war weary, exhausted Jedi to sleep and sleep well.  So Padme always has a few Jedi napping, and hidden if they are in public, wherever she is. Including her apartment.  There was some discussion of having her move into the temple, with Padme present as the Jedi are very into consent, but it was decided that it would endanger her and/or cause a scandal and likely expose her and Anakin’s marriage to the general public. 

Note :2 Anakin was legally considered underage in both cultures at the time of their wedding-Jedi considered adulthood as far as signing legal contracts is concerned at knighthood. Naboo is a bit different, there are some things in which Naboo is very formalized, including their record keeping. They also do not really have a mechanism for errors in those records. So when little Anakin Skywalker’s identification records were created he was asked his birthdate-the question itself was in formal legalese, thus not very clear. Not knowing his actual birthdate, and not quite understanding the question, he gave the date of the Boonta Eve Classic, where he won his freedom.  There was so much confusion that it was never checked before it was entered into the Naboo system, which then fed into the galactic system. Legally, as far as the galactic computer systems are concerned Padme married a 10 year old.  

Note 3: Padme has teamed up with various clone commanders to have their Jedi dragged to where they can get some sleep if it seems like they try running off Force for too long. The first of which was Cody, who is the founding member of the 'I love my my Jedi but What the Fuck' support group.

Anakin then asks a dumbfounded Palpatine if it was a specific date, to which Palpatine(who had been making the entire rumor out of whole cloth) just nodded. Anakin nodded to himself and said that he was surprised that they noticed Obi Wan but not all the other members of the Jedi Council. Or all the other Jedi that pass through Padme’s apartment. 

Anakin has now accidentally convinced Palpatine that there is some Jedi Orgy happening in the senatorial apartments (maybe? Possibly Including other members of the delegation of 2000????). Everything Anakin says after that point sounds like it supports this idea (In defense of Palpatine, it all sounded suspicious) but does have innocent explanations. Including at one point saying something to the effect of “The Twins (because the healers did come over and let them know they were having twins) belonged to all of the Jedi’” and, just before leaving (still cheerfully oblivious),  says that his nightmares have gone away since finding out that that Master Windu is a cuddler.

And Palpatine. Just. Bluescreens. Like full on we passed the woman with Math gif and onto the Blue Screen of Death at the idea that Mace Windu was a cuddler. 

He can’t even remember what he was trying to do at the start of the conversation. For several hours Palpatine can’t even remember what he was trying to do with the Sith Plan. 

He just has to sit with the knowledge that Master Mace Windu, head of the Jedi Council, is a cuddler.  Palpatine does not know what to do with this knowledge.  Palpatine is not sure he wants to know what to do with this knowledge. 

As a fix it, I would say that this possible Jedi/Senatorial Orgy continues to make Palpatine crazier and crazier, dragging him into paranoia until he is gently retired from office (because everyone believes that the war cracked him, wasn’t it so sad) and sent off to a quiet lake house on Naboo. I picture him as Mr.Crocker from Fairly Odd Parents, where he twitches into all kinds of weird configurations and screams JEDI CUDDLES at the top of his lungs and tries to ‘prove’ that these orgies between Jedi and senators exist, but fails because they do not.

[phoenixyfriend]

AU where Xanatos is "redeemed by the power of cute," but it's actually a psychological whammy caused by Obi-Wan being supernaturally adorable as a species-specific juvenile defense mechanism, and is functionally immediate brainwashing by the 13yo who doesn't know that's what he's doing.

Tbh this is mostly just Defense Mechanism that makes Xanatos harmless, but in a way everyone finds very concerning and uncomfortable because it's kind of mind control.

Someone (@dracothulhu) asked if it was related to Mimic Spider AU, and it is not! Mimic spider AU is just "ohhhh you wanna fuck me so b--PSYCH! EATING YOU."

This is more "I'm a little baby, I'm SUCH a little baby, you don't want to hurt me, you could never hurt me, I'm so adorable I'm so cute doesn't it just kill you to think about hurting me?"

Mimic spider AU is just Hot and Confident. This is straight up Mind Whammie.

@threebea also thought brood parasitism, and offered:

I'm trying to figure out a reason for the Stewjoni to have like brood parasitism where they will stick their young with other families for awhile before picking them up Used to do it to Mandoalorians all the time, and it's part of the reason the Mandalorian adopt anything stereotype got so strong. Stewjoni looking at Jedi: those seem parent shaped here you go

Which is great, except I actually started with the idea of it being kind of the inverse!

(That said, I won't actually say no to the brood parasitism option.)

Xanatos: had been about to kidnap and put him on a deep sea mine now is feeding him pudding Is it he's acting normal but doing weird things or is he suddenly talking to Obi-Wan like he's an adorable puppy

He's kind of zoned out.

Xanatos: look at him so cute Omg Obi-Wan: standing there Xanatos: kriff I don't have a camera - also from threebea

Also cuddles! Which Obi-Wan actually Does Not Want. But if he's Very Very Still then maybe Qui-Gon will find him and fix this.

Like if a tiger held and groomed you and you just were waiting Very Still for the zookeeper to distract it and/or load up the tranq.

After the days he's had he'd perhaps like a cuddle but not from this guy Lol Xanatos: so soft The effect only works on humans and near humans so it didn't work on the hutt and (can't remember the other species) on the ship

We can say it works through the Force and that's why the Hutt is immune.

"Stewjoni are targets of slavers" but specifically for illegal adoptions. It's lucrative, because most bounty hunters last about twenty seconds before they give the crying baby back where it wants to go.

And most of the immune ones get caught by planetary defense forces.

So if you CAN steal a baby, the profit margin is insane, since it's so damn hard to do, but the baby up for illegal adoption is sooooo cute.

(…this concept would be hilarious with one of those "Tor adopts baby Ben Kenobi to turn into a weapon" AUs. Still a shitty childhood bc Death Watch can justify a lot under the umbrella of Teaching Self-Defense. But interesting.)

IF YOU HAVE READ TWILIGHT: do you remember the bit about vampire babies being so cute that people would let them slaughter entire villages without a qualm?

It's like that, except Obi-Wan doesn't have dreams of mass slaughter and it only really activates as a Threat Response.

I guess the evolutionary trigger is it's kind of a paralytic You can't move far from where you stole the kid

Which is exactly right!

[samstree]

Ooh 17 for the sensory prompts please?

Thank you for the prompt! It's from the sensory prompt list. I really like these so I'm welcoming more! <3

17. Your bed after travelling

(Obikin, rated G, also posted on AO3)

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan calls out from their shared bed, too cozy to move. “Anakin, will you come to bed?”

The door to the living room is left open for the bright light to spill into the dark bedroom. Obi-Wan watches as Anakin continues to tinker with Artoo’s communication unit, his legs crossed on the floor and back leaned against the droid himself, who has powered down for the night.

Even droids know it’s time for some rest.

“In a bit,” Anakin answers absently, not lifting his eyes from the circuit board.

It’s way past midnight, and the temple has settled into a blissful quietness. Even the murmurs of Coruscant seem to have faded into the darkness. Finally, Obi-Wan gets to sleep in a familiar, soft bed after days of battle and traveling. The only problem—Anakin won’t sleep.

And he needs it. He was the one who piloted the ship back home when Obi-Wan fell asleep in the passenger seat, promising faintly that he’d take over later. When he opened his eyes next, they were already at the temple’s hangar bay and Anakin was waking him gently with a hand on his shoulder.

Obi-Wan stretches under the duvet, his hands touching the cool, soft sheets on the empty space next to him. He tries not to worry, but the dark circles under Anakin’s eyes make that mission impossible.

“Anakin?” he calls again, knowing he’s getting dangerously close to nagging, something that historically has never worked and will only result in a sulking Anakin. “You need to sleep.”

Smoke drifts from the soldering iron in Anakin’s mechanical hand when he pauses.

“No, I don’t. It’s fine.” He only meets Obi-Wan’s eyes for a moment, a tight smile at his lips, aiming at reassurance. It would work better if his eyes weren’t red-rimmed with exhaustion. “And I can go much longer without sleep. I’ve done it before.”

“That’s more the reason to not suffer again.” Obi-Wan sighs, knowing he’s properly nagging now. “Anakin…”

“And the nagging is unbecoming, Obi-Wan. You promised you’d stop.”

“I did not,” Obi-Wan insists. “I promised I’d try. When you don’t particularly need me to nag, but that is not the case at the moment.”

Anakin’s stubbornness always has a way of reflecting back at Obi-Wan, bringing out the same side of him. He lets out a long breath, tossing and turning for a moment under the cover. The bed is truly too empty without Anakin beside him. The worry will also keep him awake through the night, if this goes on for longer.

“Go to sleep. If you want to talk my ears off, it might as well be in your dream,” Anakin adds petulantly. “I said I’m fine.”

Sometimes, Obi-Wan wonders why he loves this impossible boy so much. So many of the grey hairs at his temple can trace back to either fighting with Anakin, or trying to take care of Anakin. Fighting to take care of him is another challenge that Obi-Wan has grown accustomed to since the beginning of the war. It scares him how little Anakin cares for his own wellbeing.

But Obi-Wan might still have a trick or two up his sleeve.

“What if I’m not?” he says, after a moment of plotting.

“Hmm?” Anakin blinks up at him, a frown slowly forming between his eyes. “What do you mean?”

Obi-Wan props himself up on the bed, touching his temple like he’s nursing a headache. “What if I don’t feel fine, Anakin? In fact, I believe I have been struggling to sleep.”

A pause, and those beautiful eyes widen with concern.

“Oh.” Something clatters to the ground, but Anakin doesn’t seem to care. He scrambles to put away the tools and the circuitry, and with a few long strides, he’s at Obi-Wan’s bedside. His voice is impossibly soft when he speaks next. “What’s wrong? You were already tired on our way back. Do you feel sick?”

Anakin is kneeling beside Obi-Wan, helping him to lie down on the pillow and pulling up the cover. He reaches out with his flesh hand to brush back the stray hair over Obi-Wan’s eyes to better observe him. There’s distress written all over on his face now.

Obi-Wan clears his throat, catching Anakin’s hand before his worried mind spirals out of control.

“I’m not sick, darling. I may just be overtired, and somehow that’s keeping me awake.” Obi-Wan keeps his voice small and sad, his chin tucked under the soft duvet. “Ridiculous notion, I know.”

Still looking skeptical, Anakin presses their foreheads together to check Obi-Wan’s temperature. He pulls away, looking slightly relieved.

“Not ridiculous,” Anakin says, shaking his head. “I know the feeling, when you’re so keyed up that your mind won’t quiet down. Gods, you must be exhausted. How can I help?”

A proud smile is forming at the corners of Obi-Wan’s lips, having landed Anakin exactly where he wants him. So he presses a small kiss in the palm around his cheek, hiding that smile. He still needs to keep the look on his face pitiful enough to incite sympathy.

Obi-Wan looks up from under his lashes with pleading eyes. “Will you come into bed? You know I sleep better when you’re holding me.”

“Of course,” Anakin says immediately, ready to climb into bed already.

“Wait.” Obi-Wan halts the motion, eyeing a fully dressed Anakin. “Could you also change into your pajamas? Having your obi and tabard in bed cannot be comfortable.” After a beat, he adds, “for me, that is.”

Anakin only nods with understanding before undressing and shedding all the outer layers of his robes on the floor. Obi-Wan would lecture him, except things have gone his way so quickly that he really should count his blessings for now. Anakin then finds an old sleeping shirt on the other side of the room and pulls it over his head. He also turns off the living room light and shuts the door.

The bedroom is only lit by a dim lamp, the warm light setting a cozy atmosphere.

Obi-Wan lifts the cover eagerly to let Anakin slip in. The bed sinks under the two of them and their bodies fit together perfectly. He hums with contentment to show appreciation for the solid weight next to him.

“Like this?” Anakin circles Obi-Wan’s waist with his arms, head burrowed into the crook of his neck.

“No, more like—” Obi-Wan lies back against the pillows, guiding Anakin to lay on his chest, supporting more of his weight. His hand ends up buried in the short curls at the nape of Anakin’s neck, so he plays with those curls, knowing repeated motions are a good way to make Anakin drowsy. “—like this. I prefer it when there is weight on me.”

“Yes, you’re an odd one.” Anakin huffs against Obi-Wan’s chest, and then he looks up. “I’m not too heavy?”

Obi-Wan would feel guilty about his manipulation while looking into those big, trusting eyes, if not for the fact that the body around him has already grown more relaxed since laying down.

“You’re perfect, dearest.” Their legs tangle together, Anakin’s feet cold against Obi-Wan’s shin. He tugs the duvet tighter around them to warm him up. “Perhaps just…”

“Yeah?”

Anakin still feels like a lingering sandstorm in the Force, just the slightest ripple of unrest.

Obi-Wan kisses the mess of dark curls, feeling cheeky. “Could you do the breathing exercise for me, the one that helps to calm the mind? I find myself too exhausted to concentrate.” He adds a yawn here, for good measure. “It’s easier when we do it together.”

“Of course,” says the man in Obi-Wan’s arms who famously detests all forms of meditation and breathing exercises. “Here, follow me—”

An inhale. One, two, three four.

“Good, dear heart.” Obi-Wan gives a gentle pat. “I feel much better.”

Pause. One, two, three. And then, an exhale.

“Don’t speak, master. Focus on me.”

And he is. The golden warmth that is Anakin ebbs and flows, before settling into a pool of serenity. All the ripples have smoothed out, all the waves trickling into a stream of calmness.

Obi-Wan counts the rhythmic rise and fall of Anakin’s chest, and feels the arms around him loosen, bit by bit. With a few more breaths, both of them are on the edge of sleep.

Anakin is trying to wake himself up to continue the breathing exercise, but all he manages is an incoherent noise.

“No, no. Sleep. It’s okay,” Obi-Wan whispers into Anakin’s curls, settling him with a hand on his back.

“Mm? Did you really…” Anakin slurs, the sleepiness getting the better of him. “Did you really need… me…”

“Hush, now. Just rest. For me.”

Obi-Wan waits for Anakin to completely drift off and begin snoring softly, the dead weight against his chest making him too prideful.

He wonders how many more times he can get away with it, how much he can push for while holding Anakin’s trust and love within the palm of his hand. He fears, at times, for Anakin’s tendency to serve and to protect, his too-trusting eyes and too-big heart.

For now, the night is quiet, and Anakin is dead to the world.

Obi-Wan leaves one last kiss on the messy curls of his love, and lets himself dream.