#The ONLY thing I'd ever call Team Rocket out on was that one Episode of Journey's about blue Pokemon

[kakusu-shipping]

Platonic f/o asks my beloved,,

Anyway, dogwood, cottonwood, and palm for Team Rocket!!

Thankyou very much the Squad!!!!! We love the (no so) Evil Crew!!

Dogwood - You've been quiet for a week or so- do they reach out to ask what's wrong, or do they let you have your space?

I can't imagine a situation where we're not physically right next to eachother that long, but if it did happen they'd reach out. They're a very clingy, prone to think the worst kind of crew.

Jessie's the least likely to reach out as she's pretty use to people just vanishing from her life, so she wouldn't be that worried. But Wobbeffet and Meowth worrying would eventually get her to cave and call me.

Cottonwood - If you took a vacation together, where would you go? What would you do?

Back to Alola! We'd visit Beware and Stufful, chill and play on the beach, plan to stay in a nice hotel just to have Beware INSIST we come home with her and rest in the cave... and honestly that is much better than any fancy hotel could be.

I'd also probably visit my brother Molayne while we're there, maybe finally introduce them to him.. but also probably not skdjkfsk They're shy and anxious around Gym Leader types.

Palm - If they did something you didn't agree with, would you call them out on it or let it slide? Would they call you out on something?

Jessie does whatever she wants and calling her out on it is a risk I'm not willing to take. Meowth maybe it depends on what he did, he's pretty reasonable. Wobbuffet has never done anything wrong in his life he is perfect.

Oh but they'd call me out for sure, especially Jessie. She eats Meowth's special dessert he was saving in the fridge? She did nothing wrong. I ate Meowth's special dessert he was saving in the fridge? I owe the entire hideout dessert now for such a heinous crime. Heaven forbid I actually do something to her she doesn't like...

I feel like following a crew of thieves around watching them attempt to steal some kid's Pikachu for years kind of lowers your standard for what's worth picking a fight over, but that's just me.

[jess-total-mess]

okay, my bff is watching the latest season of Young Justice and crying about how awful it is so lets talk about how i would rewrite the series past s1 to be less terrible and more cohesive. readmore included because this is LONG

Season One worked because it had a small cast that had individually focused episodes, good relationship dynamics, and a cohesive plot that was foreshadowed well. Kaldur with his Atlantis episode, the entire episode after the simulation disaster (perfect!), Megan and her thread about identity and her shame around it, Superboy and... whatever the fuck you want to call his arc, but it was GOOD. Artemis had a lot of focus and while Wally didn't get a lot he still has a full episode to himself in Cold Hearted. Zatanna was only there briefly, but she was well-established and even Rocket had some interesting setups despite only being there for an episode or two.

Myself and my BFF both agree that the time skip is acceptable, but needed to be shorter. Way shorter. At most, I'd put it at three years, but let's say two years. That makes Robin sixteen, for reference.

This would give us time to have a few things happen. First, have Robin be co-leader, preparing to step into his role as actual leader. Develop Rocket some more by giving her at least one episode focused on her, and giving her more screen time overall (they did her SO DIRTY). Have Zatanna have an episode with Rocket, even, make them go on a solo-mission like Zatanna and Artemis did in S1, that would be awesome!

The team would then have a lot more experience, they work together great, they know each other. This means we can introduce a few new characters. In no particular order;

Beast Boy! He was set-up in S1 to be Beast Boy, and that's great! He's twelve (?) now, and maybe his powers have activated! Have him be sent to the Mountain, or even have an episode where they go back to him (wherever he might be living now!) and have the entire backstory of his dead mum! It would be emotional for the original Team present for that episode in S1, and would be emotionally charged! Maybe he doesn't join the Team for missions yet, but get him training! Establish his character!

Aquagirl and Tempest! They're already established from S1, so bring them in for a mission. Maybe they have intel and help out on the mission, maybe they just happen to be there, it needs more thought for specifics, but have them be set up to help the Team for the end of the season.

Batgirl! She's older than Robin is in comics canon, and probably in YJ canon too (I don't think we ever actually find out). She's been established as Barbara in S1, so have her join the Team as Batgirl, struggle with the same things that Robin did when the Team was first formed (disappearing, doing her own thing, etc) and have Robin have to teach her that she's got to be a different kind of team player.

Work on establishing and foreshadowing Jason. Robin/Dick is now sixteen, so throughout the season he can transition into Nightwing and Team leader. Have moments throughout the season where he mentions a new person at home, his frustrations with Batman, and have a few moments where we actually see/hear Jason, like what they did with Barbara in S1.

Also, focus on our favourites! How is Artemis handling her sister dating Red Arrow? How is that dynamic going in general? What about Superboy and his relationship with Superman? We saw that it had improved by S2, but actually show us that happening! The two of them working together, Superboy knowing stuff that nobody else does because Superman told him, knowing his villains and studying them like we're shown he can do in S2. We could have more scenes with Red Tornado, or even focus on a different Den Mother (and have moments where the Team is fed up with having a Den Mother! Wally is an ADULT!).

We had the Light, we had NO idea the Reach was there, they weren't even foreshadowed in S1. Instead, if you really want a new main threat, use Apokolips! The enemy of the Forever People from S1, the guys who made Sphere and the motherboxes?

It's not hard to make a loose plot just based on this stuff (I'm just fucking lazy). Follow the concepts and themes of the first season, have episodes focused on relationships between members (ie. Terrors and the dynamic between Megan and Superboy, Secrets with Zatanna and Artemis bonding, you get the idea). Establish the new characters and build up to another threat that the Team has to stop without the help of the League.

Give them undercover operations that are following a thread that leads them to the Light (and whatever they might be doing with Apokolips), and have them bring everyone along! Maybe not Gar/Beast Boy (he's still young and inexperienced, so maybe he runs communications from the Mountain or something? Sneaks out? Who knows!) but have the rest of the Team go kick ass, have Aquagirl and Tempest get called on for help, and give them answers, with still more questions.

And if your really want the Reach to be involved, start foreshadowing them throughout the season! The Light is having communications with someone who isn't Apokolips? Who is it? Why? What do they want? Those can be some of the unanswered questions we're left with at the end, and then in S3 after another time skip, you can bring the Reach in, along with the Beetles and develop that!

For S3, bring in Jason as Robin, establish his character as a brawler and kind of an asshole, but make us care about him before you kill him off for no reason! (Jason's death is incredibly important character-wise but please let us learn who he is before he dies). Nightwing is fully the Team leader now, how is he handling that? He said in S1 (Disordered) that he doesn't want to be Batman anymore, the guy who makes the hard call.

How does that mesh with being team leader? How's his relationship with Jason, with Batman, with Batgirl? If you really want Oracle, you could have her get her paralysis injury from the Joker in S3 too, he's established in S1 as a villain working with the Light to some degree, so why change that?

Also if I wrote S4 I would give Stephanie/Spoiler an episode where she's the focus because I love her and she needs the opportunity to declare "I'm here to spoil your plans!" to a villain SO BADLY

[danwhobrowses]

I mean, I may be in the minority in this, but perhaps the reason why it feels wrong for Ash to win the whole thing is because it is wrong?

For me at least, Ash winning in Alola was a huge mistake, and this whole World Tournament Series has been a terrible mess which has completely mocked past series' work towards making Elite Four members and Champions appear on another level to regular trainers and Gym Leaders. The fact that Ash struggled more against Faba in Alola than he did against Raihan - Galar's number 2 trainer - speaks volumes, and Ash beating Wallace mostly off-screen speaks even greater volumes, and the fact that we're going to throw Diantha, Lance, Cynthia, Steven and Alain under the bus for this is painful.

I don't even know why Iris is here either, Ash already beat her this series and now suddenly she's one place higher than him? Did Pokémon's writers really run out of ideas of who to put for a top 8? (not that ranking actually means anything, Ash went up from 15th to 9th in one battle, the writers clearly don't know how ranking really works).

And come on, we all know for whose benefit Alain is here for; the salty fans whose complaining caused the writers to make Ash win the haphazard and underbuilt farce that was the Alola league in the first place. The fact that Ash is going to beat Alain is gonna be sad to watch since people are gonna treat this like vindication that him winning in XY was wrong even though it was narratively the correct move, and that their complaining is the reason the anime has been in such a downward spiral in terms of Ash's journey to mastery since.

Call me old-fashioned, but when I envisioned Ash winning the league, both as a kid and adult, I was expecting something more on the lines of how the Sinnoh league did it: with Ash using every tool at his disposal with actual clever strategy (rather than things that shouldn't work at all like 'Swallowing' a Weather effect away) and no special treatment like Ash-Greninja or Dusk Lycanroc forms or whatever this Aura no Willpower thing is with Lucario which nobody else is allowed because only Ash 'really wants to win'. Also you know, actual effort? Not battles Ash can win in 4 attacks or less, absolutely NOT 'or less'. Also unpredictability, the fact that we all know that Ash is going to face Leon means this whole top 8 stuff is meaningless, there's no fear that Ash will lose like there was with Kanto to Sinnoh, at least then you could feel invested through more than one battle.

Honestly Journeys has been a mess in terms of plot lines, Ash's World Coronation plots get dropped for months of fillers and silly bobbins (which there is a place for, but not at this amount) and then we get 2 episodes where Ash's Pokémon learns a move or power which helps them win the battle the very next episode, and between that Goh's Project Mew stuff also gets dropped and picked up at rare times. Ash's team is an undertrained motley crew of what the writers deem as fan favourite Pokémon, while Goh's team are barely existent and a waste of the Starters given how Goh regularly drops them the moment they evolve and fulfill their usefulness to him, and of course we can't say anything about Chloe because Chloe is barely a character at this point, she's just a vehicle to showcase an Eeveelution from time to time. Team Rocket barely get used too which is a huge shame, as is not actually utilizing Galar, their characters and Pokémon at the proper capacity and esteem.

Tl;Dr? I want Ash to lose, he barely ever loses now and when he does he always gets his win back, he's the Hulk Hogan of Pokémon and it doesn't feel like the anime puts any effort into it anymore, so I'd like to see him get squashed, realise he needs to actually invest in being a proper trainer again and correct the course for whatever the Scarlet/Violet anime is; you didn't need to try and fix what wasn't broken.

[theangrypokemaniac]

I'll state from the beginning that the images below display the sort of sweet synchronicity to which only love can give life:

MaAndPaShipping is the best ship, and here are five reasons why:

1. It Made James

Like the boy do yer? Ever felt the slightest tingle of warmth at the mention of his name?

Well get down on yer knees and give thanks to his mother and father for gifting him to the world!

Where would we be without their remarkable commitment? Could James have grown into the dandified dream boat of your desires if deprived of the safety provided by his parents?

Had they not brought him up, he'd be dead, The Dog of Flanders fantasy made reality. If miraculously he survived, foraging in the wild is not conducive to a foppish personality.

Is that to yer fancy? No? Then let's have a little respect. The luxury Ma and Pa gave enabled his macaroni tendencies to reach such heights.

Their love created him! How can it not be celebrated?

You lot would ship Jessie's parents but you can't, because she has no dad, and I don't suppose you'll ever assent to his obvious identity of Windy Miller, although 'Jessie Miller' has a wonderful ring to it, so what can be done?

Should a Pa Jess be conjured for the purpose, he still buggered off, didn't he? Where's the allure in a faithless git?

I can't comprehend the obsession with Ma Jess. As soon as here she's stiff, and what is there to remember but coercing her daughter into eating snow?

Hey, I named her. What more do you want from me?

I'd rather have the living, visible ancestors, if you don't mind.

Yeah, says the history fanatic.

Why not make the most of the chances offered, and follow a devoted couple whose love made a difference to your existence?

2. Canon!

There are many ships which I find repulsive for involving depravity, or absurd as the subjects haven't met, or don't inhabit the same fictional universe.

Video et taceo: I see and I say nothing.

Neither does anyone. Forcing decent folk in to incest, bestiality etc. is quite alright.

Perverted ideas are left alone, but woe betide a Rocketshipper, because that's offensive.

It may be the only original ship left standing, with proper evidence and sanctioned by Nintendo, but no, it's fair game for undermining. People pick at your arguments, quibble constantly and NEED to register their objections NOW. You MUST be made aware of opposition. You're not to be permitted your views the way those with twisted tastes are indulged.

Why, out of tens of thousands of combinations, does making Jessie and James an item provoke hostility?

The strength of negativity actually serves as validation, for why be so concerned if it's an impossible relationship?

However sick they are, I'm not anti any ship. I can't muster sufficient interest to do it, and if I scroll on, I forget. I certainly don't attack those responsible.

Anti-Shipping is inherently nihilistic for promoting loneliness. They aren't against Rocketshipping through wanting Jessie and James to be with someone else, as an alternative is not readily available, so the outcome of it is neither finding a companion.

MaAndPaShipping attracts no sourpuss silliness, for 'tis canon beyond question. There's nothing about being 'just friends' when married with a son.

How's the state of your O.T.P.? Not looking too clever I expect, and what's your contribution: wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying?

Cast it off! None of that longing is necessary in these quarters, as MaAndPaShipping is a fait accompli.

Hallelujah! Wallow in that Love!

Don't you yearn for at least one ship that all of us accept by default, to the extent these aristocrats are spoken of as a single unit?

Across the internet, Ma and Pa are bracketed as 'James's parents', never 'he' and 'she', always 'they', barely counting as distinct characters. That's how undeniable the love is between them. Sheer indifference has awarded it a blessing from everyone.

MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Of course, now I've drawn attention to it the moaning will start, but we all know a spoilsport when we see one.

If they had any legitimate complaints they ought to have mentioned 'em before this piece highlighted the marriage!

Except it won't have occurred to 'em previously, proving the eternal, indissoluble quality of MaAndPaShipping.

You get good value with this one.

Find a post referring to Ma and Pa as individuals and I'll have written it, for that's what you call ironic.

3. It's a Fine Rocketshipping Proxy

I was at primary school when Pokémon hit the West like the bright, bearded meteor it is, atomizing all competition for a child's attention.

I have shipped Jessie and James before I knew anyone else did it, unaware shipping was even a thing.

There are other pairs where I think: 'That seems to fit', but it's incomparable to what I feel for them.

It is part of me. I bleed it.

I have shipped it longer than most Tumblerries have dwelt upon the earth.

I used to believe, what with the hints and manga finale, that this resolution was  inevitable, and all I had to do was wait.

Well I've been patient for two decades now, thus when I look at the modern incarnation, and realise it's no nearer to that goal, and instead is further away, waiting starts to wear a bit thin.

I resent the lack of appreciation shown to the fans by the cretins in charge, how any meagre shippy inclusion is done not with an interest in deepening bonds, but with the blatant cynicism of moulding us into performing monkeys dancing to their manipulative tune.

I dislike being treated like a sea lion, expected to clap me flippers at the wave of a fish, or as a panting dog begging at top table, where, because they're desperate to maintain the status quo, every scrap flung down from above now comes with an Anti-Ship kick in the teeth, just to be sure nothing progresses. Not whilst the franchise can still be milked for all it's worth.

I have lost faith Rocketshipping will happen. What passes for Pokémon today carries not the remotest indication of any intention on the so-called writers' part to finish it that way.

Even if it did, it's not my Team Rocket, it's those skeletal, gargoyle bastardisations. My Jessie and James never got the reward they deserved.

I'm somewhat in the market for a replacement. Beneath this loathsome carapace of acid and ice beats the tender heart of a true romantic, and it must have an outlet!

Shipping Ma and Pa provides a certain spurious relief, because it's as close as you can get to Jessie and James without it being them, both biologically as his parents, but they're so similar to the duo it counts as proof in itself.

Holy Matrimony! is prime Rocketshipping territory, not merely the balloon lift, but many slight additions are as important, like the haircuts matching.

Ma and Pa are therefore Jessie and James in the past, present and future:

The past for representing Jess 'n' Jamie gone Victorian, and we've all wondered how that'd turn out.

The present as it's there right now, absent of suffering the shameless whims of morons to get what you want. 'Tis yours to savour.

The future as a glimpse of Jessie and James once married with children, and they agree:

That's how they play it given the opportunity!

What, James in blue, for his and Pa's hair, and Jessie wearing purple, like Ma's, with a red shawl for her own, and Ma Jess's orange earrings to copy the beads?

�� Money!

• Bun!

• 'Tache!

• Classy pad!

• Fancy gear!

• Pampered pet!

• Identical cups of Earl Grey!

4. Original Blend

Ma and Pa have only got two fans! We care more than the entire fandom has in twenty years!

Rocketshipping art is ten a penny, so why not display a pioneering spirit, sharpen up those pencils and be inspired?

Let your mind expand and marvel at the possibilities of these unchartered territories, and I'll reblog it if it's nice.

Pay attention to the condition of it being nice. I'm not putting up with any old toss.

Real Ma and Pa is what I want too, not those Sinnoh coffin-dodgers.

It's never been done! Every drawing breaks new ground!

I don't like fan fiction, but I wouldn't say 'no' to that either. Recall the 'nice' stipulation again.

Come on, be the first amongst your friends and get ship shape!

5. It Gives Us All Hope

Suppose your favourite amour one day became canon: you imagine that's the end of the matter?

Well it ain't.

Between Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, James, Gary and Tracey, there are three-and-a-half out of fourteen parents (Flint doesn't count as a complete man) and one out of twenty-eight grandparents, and that's not enough!

If the series drew to a close with your beloved couple apparently walking into the happily-ever-after, there's no guarantee it'll endure. In fact, the odds are they'll split up within a few years and leave another generation to fend for themselves or starve.

That's right, so don't presume the final episode is all you need to worry about. Can you rest easy knowing it'll go pear-shaped once the camera stops rolling?

It's futile soothing one's worries with:

Oh, but they know what it's like to be alone. They'd never inflict such stress on their children.

Oh really?

Look at that poor showing of grandparents. Either Pokémon has a system reminiscent of the sci-fi film Logan's Run, where everyone over thirty is vapourized, or these disappearing maters and paters were themselves victims of abandonment.

I bet when they settled down, they thought it'd be different for their kids, they'd make sure of it, but no, off they went down that same route of feckless self-indulgence, and that's being kind assuming they intended not to repeat history.

Depressing eh? What's the good in any of us surrendering to romance, real or otherwise, if love is but a mayfly of emotion, and all dreams are doomed to die?

Then Ma and Pa arrive, and suddenly the storm clouds part for a ray of heavenly light.

It's not only that they made the effort in what was probably an arranged marriage and have stayed together from youth, it's that they've stayed together when no one else has, which augments its value.

When separation is commonplace, sticking it out becomes rarer and rarer as any belief in the sanctity of wedlock erodes with every failure.

If they didn't bother, why should I? What's the use when it won't work?

Once that idea enters your head, it's over, and your gloom-laden attitude fulfils itself.

Society is collapsing about Ma and Pa's ears, but they persevere nevertheless, refusing to buckle under the turgid malaise engulfing the arrogant and weak.

It's bloody beautiful, man!

You may suggest an environment of supreme wealth erases normality, and to their class and time period divorce is still taboo, so they don't really have much of choice but to remain wedded.

Ah, but it's not as if they simply tolerate one another for appearances, or carried on for the sake of their son (which is more than anyone else did besides), not when he walked out on them.

They've been married longer than James has lived, so at least eighteen years (don't all squeal at once), and they're still blissfully contented!

They hold hands!

They use terms of endearment like 'dear' and 'my precious'!

They were made for one another!

They work as a team!

They want the same thing for James!

It could bring a stone angel to tears it's so beautiful!

See what success can be achieved when you try? When you endeavour to love the one you're with and make yourself worth loving in return?

Better that than chucking 'em at the first sign of trouble.

Ma and Pa is such an irrevocable union even the despair of losing their only child failed to tear 'em asunder, and that'd defeat many, but not this husband and wife.

Be grateful, for it means all is not in vain.

It doesn't have to be misery and pain: love can last despite the pressure of a wretched, hollow culture bent on self-destruction. Your ship might just succeed too.

God bless 'em for keeping the magic alive!

...

Why do I have the presentiment that I'm going to regret encouraging support?

[championfrita]

Creepiest Locations in Pokémon

So, I don't really do Top 10 lists or stuff like that but I recently recieved Black 2 from a friend and reached one of the creepy game locations (you know what I'm talking about).

Suffice to say, I thought I'd talk a little about the creepiest locations in Pokemon.

Without further ado, let us begin!

Strange House - Unova Region

Yeah yeah, playing Black 2 so OF COURSE I'd put this on the list, right? Well that's not why. I put this on the list because it, for me, is the CREEPIEST location in Pokemon. Having not played White 2 in a while (because I lost it heh heh ^^') I had mostly forgotten it until now. I find Strange House to be the creepiest location in Pokemon not just because of the way it looks. The entire thing is Hellagar creepy. Not only does it have some of the eeriest music ever, but the furniture moves on it's own. AND YOU CAN HEAR IT MOVING. Straight up paranormal crap guys (and I'd know, I have paranormal investigative training and I'm a sensitive). When I first encountered this place I was super tentative about walking around inside. I jumped three feet when the first Pokemon Battle activated, no joke. Not to mention the backstory. A little girl put in an eternal nightmare by Darkrai who never wakes up and dies in her sleep? Yeah, no thanks. *horrified shuddering* Let's move on, shall we?

Old Chateau - Sinnoh Region

Yeah, you guys kinda expected this one huh? I put this on the list because it also has some seriously creepy music. Sure, Strange House is creepy, but mostly on the inside. Old Chateau is creepy ALL AROUND. Even the dilapidated exterior just screams "Yeah btw I have demons locked up in here, that a problem bro?" HELLGAR YES, IT IS! But that isn't even the creepiest part. The Chateau is straight up haunted. Ghosts of residents and even a butler can be found wandering around inside. Encountering them is for the most part a random event, except for the little girl, who you simply encounter by entering rooms on the second floor in order. Still not the creepiest part. In one of said rooms is a painting...who's EYES MOVE WITH YOU SO IT IS ALWAYS WATCHING. Plus in the kitchen possessed tableware flies at you if you stay too long. Even better? Find all the ghosts and a secret door under the stairs opens up to take you to the basement. Lovely. And guess who's down there? The creepy as Shuppet Gengar who's been using that painting I mentioned earlier to stalk you. I was so afraid of this place that I wouldn't enter it for like 2 years after the games came out. One look and I was like "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Did I say NOPE?!"

Lavender Tower - Kanto Region

This is obviously a classic from my childhood. Lavender Tower was the original creepfest of Pokemon, and while it may not actually be all that scary anymore, going in there without a Silph Scope was terrifying as a kid. Literally everything was a ghost, not just the ACTUAL ghost of Marowak that haunted the place. Even your Pokemon were too scared to fight in this place. Not to mention the crazy as Shuppet Channelers walking around the joint. Yeesh. Get a life guys.

Caves - All Regions

I know, I know. You're all thinking, Seriously?! You're afraid of CAVES?! Well hold on. Have you ever walked one without Flash, back in the old days when the screen was just black? It's not so much the dark that's terrifying. It's the idea of never escaping that cave. Of being lost in there forever because you can't bear to lose those Pokemon you've spent months lovingly raising. Without Flash, your options were: Try and stumble around in the dark hoping to get lucky and find a way out, or restart your game and do things from the beginning because you done messed up my friend. Horrible. Not to mention you had no idea what might be down there.

Kaminko's House - Orre Region

I don't care what you say, when the screen suddenly goes black and white and some deranged lunatic comes flying out of a creepy mansion surrounded by dead trees roving like a madman to challenge you to a battle, it's creepy. It may not be super scary, but still creepy. Especially when you enter the building and discover that it's home to basically a mad scientist. For a while I thought the player character, Michael, was gonna almost get murdered. Super weird stuff in there I tell you.

Scary House - Kalos Region

Not actually that scary. The way this location becomes pretty creepy is by watching the XY anime episode that goes with it. It reveals the house to basically be a house of horrors for Ash and friends. The old man they find there says it's all for the sake of saying hello the Ghost Pokemon Way. Entertaining his guests with a good scare as it were, except that at the end of the episode both he AND THE HOUSE DISAPPEAR. Then they reappear for Team Rocket. A DISAPPEARING HOUSE?! How is that NOT creepy?

Chargestone Cave - Unova Region

It's dark, weird stones float around, and it has creepy music. Yeah, no thanks. That being said, I absolutely LOVE Chargestone Cave. It is one of my favorite locations in Pokemon, but it's still creepy. You can practically FEEL the supercharged air through the game screen, which sets off all your instincts to flee, and you never know when a Pokemon is gonna suddenly attack you. It just has an all around creepy feeling to it.

Pokemon Mansion - Kanto Region

Oh look, and abandoned mansion. Let's go look inside! Creepy music and statues with switches and eyes that light up? Great! Oh boy, a book! Let's read it. Oh it's a journal…with the creation of a superstrong clone of Mew in it…Oh yeah, btw you're just casually walking around in a place where Mewtwo SLAUGHTERED ALL OF IT'S CREATORS. LOVELY! No big deal, just an abandoned house of DEATH. And you better have an Escape Rope with you if you plan to jump off that broken floor, cuz if you don't you'll be stuck there…FOREVER. Place is super creepy. And thanks to the one and only Braxton Burks and his musical reboot called Kanto Symphony, it just got creepier. Woo!

Route 217 - Sinnoh Region

Yup. I'm just gonna paste this snippet from Bulbapedia:

“If the player re-enters the house near the Ice Rock after the Spell Tag is obtained, the woman that gives it has disappeared. When obtaining the Spell Tag, her speech is: "...A person...? ...A rare sight... ...Thank you for visiting... ...A gift..." The nature of the item, in conjunction with Ace Trainer Olivia's comments of hauntings in the area, implies that the woman was a ghost, specifically a Yuki-onna.”

A Yuki-onna is a Japanese ghost woman who froze to death and roams snowcovered mountains waiting to kill people. It's a wonder the player survived. O.O

N's Room - Unova Region

I LOVE N. Love, love, LOVE him, but his room is creepier than a Mega Banette in a dark alley. N obviously has some serious mental issues, and it's this implication of dereanged mental health, combined with equally deranged music, that makes this place so darn creepy. The whole CASTLE is creepy, but this room takes the cake for creepiest room in the whole building.

Abandoned Site - Alola Region

Not exactly THE scariest location, this newest of creep fests lies in the context of it and the idea of being there in person. I know I'd find it super eerie, especially at night and when Accerola mentions she thinks you're crazy because the room you found Mimikyu in doesn't exist. Gave me some chills, let me tell you. Observant players will notice Mimikyu in the background of this scene, shuffling away behind the chainlink fence.

Pokémon School - Alola Region

While normally cheery and upbeat, if the player does a sidequest in UltraSun and UltraMoon this innocent place of learning turns into the stuff of nightmares. A creepy little girl and her Drifloon want you to look into some rumors...and appear only at night. The music makes for utterly terrifying atmosphere that will give you chills, especially if you find your own school creepy at night. While the occurences turn out to be completely harmless or normal things they make for some heartpounding suspense, and the little girl and Drifloon mysteriously disappear after you finish investigating. Creepy. It is strangely satisfying if you time it right like me and end up completing the quest at in game dawn though.

And that's about it. What locations do YOU think are creepy? Let me know in the comments!

[theangrypokemaniac]

Since no one cares about Alola I can therefore say what I want.

Team Rocket's Pokémon are all worthless toss. That's such a surprise from this oafish writing team.

Remember when Jessie and James had two each, to offer variety? Permitting them even that is too much focus nowadays.

We don't what anything interesting going on, thank you. Repetition is what we and they deserve.

Arbok, Weezing, Lickitung and Victreebel are spinning in their graves.

Stufful was missing for three years and she displayed not the slightest pang of concern until its belated invention. Given her temper she ought to have torn the island apart searching for her baby, but no.

Not bothered about Bewear. It shouldn't really be in this list as it didn't belong to them, although catching has no value anymore.

A bit thick are we? Or conforming to the usual parental standards?

Well, she's sufficiently neglectful that she let it out of her sight long enough for it to be crushed under a tree, then was too idle to come to the rescue. In consequence he was obliged to wait days until one of Lusamine's lackeys arrived.

She's 'Mama Bear' though, isn't she?

It's based on a red panda, is partly the colour of a black bear and as strong as a grizzly, but all that is a mere cover for its true nature as a Bear-Face Ham.

The modern pretence is that everyone's a vegetarian (are they balls), and Ursa Major lives on fruit, not, you know, flesh.

Just because it there's no hibernating in the tropics doesn't mean it can get by without a salmon now and again.

The name is stupid, since a red panda is not a bear. A play on words isn't clever if based on what it isn't.

They should've called her 'Pandamonia', or 'Pandour', which is a brutal soldier.

It is at least redeemed by battering the klepto cockroach into the next dimension. Good on 'er.

Mind you, this is Alola, a cesspit of incest, so it's probably some sick arrangement, like Bewear being slipped the length by that previously unmentioned Oakie-Dokie clone.

He's the spit of Jimmy Savile, thus every depravity is on the table.

Where's Stufful's dad? He buggered off too?

What kind of name is 'Stufful'? What's it made from, 'stifle' and 'suffocation'? 'Stuffed'?

Thanks for that. Whenever I see its ovine face I'm reminded of taxidermy.

Were Ursa Minor and Bewear described as mother and son, or were they 'friends'?

A series of games involving breeding and the 'anime' is too squeamish to even imply animals live in families.

I don't care either way for Stufful, but I'd like it better if its mouth wasn't a camel toe.

I understand it's a sea creature, and the contents of the oceans are their own brand of peculiarity, but looks like a limbless, undead spaniel plagued with extra teats. Its 'ears' resemble distended mammeries.

Hey, remember that interesting, original Pokémon James had called Victreebel? Let's do it again! And again! AND AGAIN!

Victreebel is a venus fly trap: an anomaly in nature as a carnivorous plant. It makes sense that the Pokémon version would be a bit more full-on in catching a meal.

New law: Team Rocket are required to collect monsters as ugly as themselves.

Hurting James was its personality quirk, particularly to it, fitting its nature, its 'thing'. It was never meant as a template for most of what he caught in the future.

Something is funny if it happens once, and can be now and again if done with a least a little flair.

Nothing repeated as a constant leaden thud is remotely amusing, but this is an unknown fact to Nintendo bone heads. They think certain events are utterly hilarious in themselves and require no finesse in application.

They have a checklist of moments obligatory to each episode, which explains the plodding lifelessness. Tick 'em off to keep the fans from being ticked off. All we supposedly care about is each gong struck, not how we got there.

At least Victreebel used to vary its behaviour:

Occasionally it even did as told without any chomping preamble.

It didn't do the exact same action every single time it was involved!

Mostly it swallowed James.

How long was it once Victreebel was chucked out on its leafy arse before Cacnea arrived?

Oh look, it's a Grass Pokémon and attacks James!

Sometimes it ate Jessie.

Carnivine got in on the action before Cacnea's run was even up: kick 'em when they're down why don't yer?

Oh look, it's a Grass Pokémon and attacks James!

Now we have Mareanie. Wasn't there a few in between? No, shush, they don't exist anymore.

Every bloody time it came out, it turned round and punctured him.

Every bloody time.

Ah, it's not a Grass Pokémon. That makes it totally new!

Oh yes, it's the complete opposite of Victreebel. It's Poison instead. Not like it at all.

Every bloody time it came out, it'd gnaw his head off.

Every bloody time.

That's endearing.

Oh but it is! It's just showing him love!

As that makes it alright!

If a muscular man squeezed his girlfriend so tightly he cracked her ribs, is that 'sweet' because he 'meant well' but his feelings overwhelmed him? Or is it A.B.H.?

Every bloody time it comes out, it injects James's head with toxin until it swells up into purple pustule of disease.

Every bloody time.

I never took Victreebel's assault as affection. To me they were real attempts to devour James, especially with the accompanying frenzied screech. Interpreting that as a positive emotion is bizarre to me.

At soon as James found it wedged in a Breeding Centre cage and opened the door it grabbed him, which appeared to be Victreebel lashing out in anger for what'd happened in the intervening period.

What Mareanie does is worse than the other three put together. At least they delivered mere bite marks or pinpricks, but it infects James!

Whole episodes of this programme have involved a Pokémon falling foul of Poison Powder and being on the verge of death, with all done to preserve it until Ash hunted down the cure, but now it's a big laugh, apparently.

Not one character ever has the wits about them to carry an Antidote, otherwise the writers wouldn't be able to fall back on the tired old race-against-time scenario, which is no such thing as we know they won't die.

Is it likely that James is always going to end up picking a violent Pokémon, of all the individuals of a race, of all the lifeforms in the universe?

Aren't his allowed to come with their own personality, or is there a set pattern they must follow, and when caught they absorb it, for fear they might be memorable?

Mind you, it's interesting the reactions these abuses provoke:

Victreebel eats James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Cacnea impales James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Carnivine chews James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Mareanie poisons James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Meowth claws James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Jessie beats James: Aw, it's so kyewt!

Jessibelle whips James: EEVUL BITCH!!!

Mimikyu should be opposed for breaking it's own world.

To us, Pikachu is the most famous Pokémon, belonging to Ash, the protagonist, and the franchise's mascot.

To them, Pikachu is just another middling Pokémon hundreds of young Trainers catch, and holds no greater value.

It's blatantly a reference to Pikachu's real-life status, acknowledging itself as fiction. No Pokémon would hold the same significance for this design to work but him.

Otherwise why would Mimikyu, when it has the choice of every Pokémon that exists, and, if meant to be a believable world, every Pokémon we don't know exists, choose Pikachu to ape? Why wouldn't it pick a Legendary?

Alola Pikachu is looking off colour.

It's not even this specific Mimikyu, it's the entire species!

What, they work to a hive mind, incapable of individual tastes and opinions?

Do they all hate Pikachu too, even though the entire mouse population of Alola has been rounded up by that loon and trapped in a valley, or were we lumbered with the lone demented obsessive with a severe complex?

Is it well jel that Pikachu's a real one, whereas it can only manage to knock up a bog-standard costume with a face daubed by a chimp paralytic from scrumpy?

Well stop imitating it then! Invent your own design!

Oh come on. The animators can't even do that, hence its creation. You can hardly expect it to display inspiration if born from its absence.

I wonder if it hates Raichu. And Pichu. And Plusle and Minun. And the rest of the Pikachu derivatives, although it is one.

(As an aside, I don't know why Raichu, Marowak and Exeggutor were redrawn for this era, but not Pikachu, Cubone and Exeggcute. Why does the sweaty climate affect only evolutions?) 

Here's an idea: make Shiny Mimikyu have a different get up, not colour.

You can have that free, Game Freak. I'm too lenient with yer.

Presumably, Mimikyu hatches (already dead?) in all its eye-bleeding nastiness, and instinctively reaches for the discarded yellow bedsheet and pack of crayons that just so happens to be nearby, and the scissors to make the peep holes.

Them inbreds know how to litter.

Flippers?

Nah, it's probably hooks.

How is it born aware of a Pikachu's face, and why is it compelled to copy them?

Knowledge of his own ugliness is innate, thus he must cover his nakedness before it lays waste to the forest inhabitants.

Yet if you breed 'em, it emerges wearing it, like the cloth formed from left-over albumen and stained with yolk!

What's it reaching with? Paws?

Mittens?

Oh, and there was a deceased specimen in the series, so it's either a ghost, and nothing but bedsheet, or a zombie, and it's repulsive carcass has upped the ante by putrifying.

Even its name doesn't fit. Apart from the unsightly spelling, what's 'Mimikyu' about? It's not mimicking me.

Mimikyu? It should be Mimikchu!

And you know what? Even Nintendo agree their own inventions aren't good enough, because they made return almost impossible.

They hate these more than they do even the pre-Unova Pokémon, most of whom were condemned to a dark existence within the iron corridors of H.Q. and haven't been seen since.

• Growlie is such a beloved figure in James's life he's been involved all of twice.

• Dustox got pensioned off.

• James was practically bullied into gifting Cacnea to that cloying bitch Gardenia.

• Whilst he still tecnically owns Chimecho, it's as lost to him as any of them.

Remember Seviper, Yanmega, Carnivine and Mime Junior?

Hell, remember Woobat, Yamask, Frillish and Amoonguss?

Or Gourgeist and Inkay?

Of course, since the makers appear to have the Reverse-Midas Touch, Team Rocket still took that useless, wincing lump Wobbuffet to Galar instead of dumping it over the sea. Apparently we're stuck with it forever.

Arbok, Lickitung, Weezing and Victreebel got shafted, but THAT survives?

Yes? That's more the writers do. In current canon these Pokémon never lived at all. Dead memories in the haze.