#The Naotak Horror

[saomarathesavage-archived]

No phone captured this moment (The Noatak Horror, Epilogue)

She was humiliated. Tapered to the floor with spears, surrounded by roaring torch fires underground in an already hot cave. The Trollhunter had slain her bodyguards as well as almost all of her children. Eggs were still escaping her, either already turning to stone from the heat, or hatching long since dead children. This was too much for the still young Saomara to bare.

All she could do was stay pinned to the floor, succumbing to the heat and her own hunger. She was still too strong and too fast to be completely slain, her long white fur, turning brown with the summer weather, was too tough for most blades to pierce. But the Sword of Daylight did strike through to her shoulder and take one of her ears off. The pain by her head was nothing compared to her constantly rumbling and shrinking stomach. She needed to feed. None of the hatchlings or eggs stayed good long enough for her to try and move one to her mouth. She needed sustenance. Leaving her here to starve or bake in the heat was not a bad plan, but only if she let it be. There must be a way to escape, or at least to eat.

Something crawled into her field of vision, and she took notice. A lanky, green thing with sticks for limbs moving like a spider in a puddle. Saomara’s glare locked onto it. It wasn’t a troll, its flesh smelled horrible, but it was flesh. She summoned enough adrenaline to shake off the spears and sprint to it, knocking the two front torches in her area down. The little green creature started to scamper away, yelling something in a language she didn’t understand. Maybe calling for help. She didn’t care. She was hungry and didn’t want to die.

She chased it off the edge of the prison cave’s chasm, climbing down after it scurried off the side. Focused on keeping hold and not falling, she watched it dart into a cave along the rock face with a flash of blue light. Giving chase, she climbed after it, finding a strange hole in the wall. The hole seemed to change shape, give off a strange, cold blue light, and wind blew from it. A very cold wind. It was almost energizing just to be near it. She stuck her snout in and gave a few hard sniffs. Oh, it WAS cold! And there were so many new smells that made her mouth water.

She tried to force her way into this small hole, feeling inches of her head gradually push through, moving her head and muscular neck and shimmying back and forth to widen the hole. After a few minutes, her entire head was inside the hole and the other side of it. It was very dark, no fires, torches or the California heat. There were green and blue crystals scattered around that gave the faintest light. A creature in the distance roared in its own hunger. Already she preferred this place to Trollmarket, and wanted more. She gradually pushed and dug and forced herself into the hole of the cold place until her shoulders followed, and eventually her hind legs and tail. There was a pop and she looked over her shoulder to see that the hole was gone.

Magic. Figures.

But, now she was here, in this new cold place. A dark cave that felt twisted and deep, teeming with life that clung with every ounce of strength to its survival. There was also a faint scent of troll. Her rumbling stomach demanded something from this new menu, and now out of the heat and in a cold like no other, she was regaining strength to hunt. 

Saomara gave a triumphant roar into the vast Darklands before scurrying along the paths to find a place to drop the rest of her eggs. And then, to hunt.

[maine-writes]

Kindness

It was a simple act. 

It began in a busy office, bustling with life as raccoon dogs scoured countless documents piling up on their desks. One raccoon dog, calm and composed, arrived at his desk with a small cup of tea. His desk was a neat and organized space, everything in their place, save for a single envelope. After a quick sip, he placed the tea down to open the envelope and read its contents. There, a letter addressed to him that read;

Consul Nobuki,

In light of the kingdom’s agreement with the griffons, you are hereby ordered to shut down the Kauen office and report to Griffonstone for reassignment by the the 22nd of June.

Regards, Vice-Minister Naotake Arita

With a sigh, he steeled himself for another day of work, plus the process of preparing to shut down the office. 

At first, it was easy-going. He began by sorting through his belongings, figuring out what should be transferred ahead. Then he sent other employees ahead to sort out the new office in the heart of the griffon kingdom. His experience with griffons taught him that griffon buildings tend to be rather spartan. 

But everything changed on that morning. It began as usual, Nobuki would walk down the empty streets as the sun slowly emerged in the distance. But as he made his way down the hall to the office, he was greeted by a line of ponies, waiting at his door. They were there for help, they needed travel papers to leave Mindau. They were afraid that the war would reach them. One safe haven for them was Mujina, his homeland. 

It was a simple process, some paperwork that had to go through the ministry. He promised them that it would only take a few days. By the end of the day, the ponies left relieved. 

One week later, he received a letter;

Consul Nobuki,

You are not to issue any travel documentation until further notice. 

Regards, Vice-Minister Naotake Arita

He sat at his desk, quill in paw, thinking about how he should tell the ponies who visited of the bad news. But just as the tip of the quill touched the paper, there was a knock at his door. With a heavy sigh, he hopped off his chair and walked to the door, where he encountered an awesome sight. There were scores of ponies, young and old, whole families, clamoring to see him. An older unicorn stumbled in front of him, down on his knees, “You��ve got to get my family out!” he begged, “They’re coming, they’re coming!” 

Countless forelegs were reaching out to him, trying to grab at his light brown fur to get his attention. He tried to calm them, he begged them, but they would not cease. He could see the fear in their eyes, the desperation. 

One by one, he let them in, telling them that he could help. It didn’t feel right, lying to them, giving them hope, but he couldn’t turn them away. He saw frail elders hugging fillies no taller than him. Like before, by the end of the day, they left relieved. This time, he made a call using the phone in a neighboring office to the Foreign Ministry in Mujina, where he made his case. 

“These ponies are in danger.” he said, growing frustrated as Vice-Minister Arita dismissed his arguements. 

“That is not of our concern, Consul.” the Vice-Minister reminded him. “The current consensus is that we should try to remain in the griffon’s good graces, and granting their enemies sanctuary may very well jeopardize that.” 

“Enemies? There are children here!” Nobuki retorted, losing all sense of calm, “Children and elders! They are not soldiers! How can w-?!”

“That’s enough Nobuki!” Arita interrupted. “Your orders are to shut down the office and report to Griffonstone. You are not to issue any travel documents and this matter is closed. Do we have an understanding?”

“Yes, Vice-Minister Arita.” Nobuki growled, livid and weary of the conversation. 

He took a moment to calm himself. He returned to his empty office and opened a window. The cold breeze blew across his fur as a shaft of silver light shined down upon him from the moon. He gazed upon its silvery brilliance, reflecting on his thoughts. He knew what he had to do. 

For the next few weeks, he issued the travel papers himself, signing whatever needed signing, stamping whatever needed stamping, day in and day out. Each morning, as ponies gathered in front of the building, he would hand out all the travel papers he made the day before. Then he would begin issuing more. When night fell, his paws would ache, pain shooting through to his arm. After a couple of weeks, he ran out of official papers, but there would still be more ponies waiting for him. He began to use whatever he had. First he used whatever blank paper he had lying in the office, then he used old documents, before finally, he began to simply hand out scraps of paper with his signature and stamp on it. 

As he boarded the train to Griffonstone, he threw the scraps of paper into the crowds of ponies that trailed behind him, all clamoring for help, for hope. “I’m sorry!” he cried out from the train window, “I can’t give you any more!” 

As the train roared to life, he looked out into the crowd of ponies. In the faces that gazed back at him, he saw fear, he saw hope, and, perhaps worst of all, he saw despair. As one last sign of respect, he bowed. 

That was the last he saw of them. 

A lonely bus stop. It was raining heavily that day when an tired-looking tanuki came running, looking for shelter. He carried a cardboard box, now soaked through, falling apart in his paws. 

There was a heavy weight in his heart. Not a day went by when he didn’t wonder. He remembered the faces of those he left at the station, their eyes searching for a sign, hoping he had saved one just for them. 

He lost everything when Arita found out what he did; his career, his home, and any hope of finding work in his homeland. He wasn’t ostracized, what he did wasn’t made into some great spectacle, but rather, everything was subtly implied when he was asked to resign. His neighbors began to whisper of his resignation, theorizing what had happened. It was their caution that ruined him, forcing him to find work elsewhere, where nobody knew of him. 

But each day, he wondered about the ponies he left at the station. Thinking back at what he could’ve done, how many more he could’ve made, how many lives he could’ve saved. And every time, he would remember a face he saw in the crowd, and imagine the horrors the griffons wrought upon them. 

As he sat on the bench, drenched by the rain, drops of water dripping off his fur, he dropped the soaked box and buried his face into his paws. “I-I’m sorry.” he whimpered to ghosts that haunt him, “One more. I should’ve made one more.” 

The dead of night. An aging tanuki laid in a hospital bed, resting his weary head. He head his door slowly creak open, and when he turn his head to see who it was, he was met with a unfamiliar raccoon. “Good evening.” the raccoon said. 

“Now isn’t this a pleasure?” Nobuki mused, his voice weak and raspy. “A stranger coming to see a nobody.” 

“Actually sir,” the raccoon began as he approached, “I’m here to show you something.” 

As the raccoon stood there by the bed, holding out his paw, Nobuki laughed. “Are you daft, young kit?” he said, “I’m a dying old tanuki. These old bones can’t even move without almost shattering.” 

“Surely, you have the strength for one last adventure.” the raccoon insisted. 

Nobuki thought for a moment. Here he was, alone with a stranger, one who wanted to take him on some sort of adventure. He thought, maybe, he should just amuse the raccoon for a short while. “Alright.” he relented, grabbing ahold of the raccoon’s paw. “Where are we going?” 

“To the window.” he answered, gently pulling the aging tanuki up and helping him off the bed and into a wheelchair.

“The window?” Nobuki pressed, both confused and curious. “What for?” 

“There’s someone who wants to meet you.” he replied, taking him to the window. 

Looking over out into the empty hospital grounds below, Nobuki saw nothing but darkness. With a sigh, he turned to the raccoon, ready to ask to be taken back to his bed. 

Suddenly, the night came alive with light as countless swirling portals opened on the hospital grounds. From them, ponies of every kind, hundreds of them, came pouring out. 

“Who are they?” the tanuki asked, his mouth agape in awe. 

“These are the families you saved.” the raccoon continued, “Who they became, and who came after.” 

“T-the window.” Nobuki stuttered, his eyes wide, “Open the window.” 

As the raccoon obliged, Nobuki pulled himself up from the wheelchair and leaned out, looking into the crowd that awaited him. He saw their faces, full of happiness, gratitude, and strangely; awe. At first, he was confused, why would anypony be in awe of him? Then he realized that those who were in awe were the children, the grandchildren, of those he saved. His thoughts then turned to those he didn’t save, those who didn’t make it out in time. As he opened his mouth, ready to apologize for his failure, he was struck by a humbling sight. 

One by one, as one last sign of respect, the ponies all bowed their heads to him. 

Nobuki turned to the raccoon, only to discover he was gone, replaced by the spectre that haunted his memories; a young filly, one that he remembered from the station. The spectre too bowed to him before looking up at him, a gentle smile on her face, and fading away. When he looked outside once more, he found that the crowds were gone as well. He felt as if a great weight was taken off his shoulders, for the first time in a long time, he felt joy.

He knew one day, others will learn of what he did, and they will wonder, they will ask; “How did you do it? Why did you do it?” 

So with quill in paw, he began; 

It was a simple act of kindness. 

[saomarathesavage-archived]

Never Write A Horror Story in Phone Texts, The Noatak Horror (part 4/Final)

Story under readmore for length, titles are not official just sarcastic placeholders

(Phone call to Elisi’s phone from Nadia twelve hours later)

Elisi: Yeah?

Nadia: Hi, it’s me. Just checking in.

Elisi: (not in the mood for nonsense) What’s your plan?

Nadia: Well, first of all, how are you recovering?

Elisi: Recovered. But now I’m worried.

Nadia: Is everything okay at the house?

Elisi: No. We’re basically stuck here. The frograt statues have been spotted closer and closer to the house, and I’m spying small minkholes everywhere. And I’m sure now they’re not dug by minks. More neighbors have been attacked or have seen even bigger frograts slinking around. Some are fleeing the area best they can, either going to the village proper or heading south towards the borough seat. The only way out of here is by plane, which can only leave one at a time due to the rough air space. So now I have a village with people in panic, desperately trying not to alert anyone on the internet or otherwise, and trigger happy neighbors on public land who heard about blood-drained Mr. Warren. So...

Nadia: I see. I’m really sorry. If everything was okay with the gyre tunnels...

Elisi: True, wouldn’t be a problem. The tunnels are infested. I can’t even get word further south that something might be wrong.

Nadia: Let me handle that, then. So, other than the distress, your family is okay?

Elisi: My family and the villagers? Yeah, physically, we’re all okay.

Nadia: Alright, good to hear. So, the plan.

Elisi: Yes, please.

Nadia: The Evlakeel thrive in cold climates and temperatures. Putting her somewhere warm will slow her down and possibly kill her. So, the plan is to try and teleport her somewhere warmer than Alaska.

Elisi: That’s a lot of places. Plus, if she survives, you’re basically making her someone else’s problem.

Nadia: Not if I kill her.

Elisi: Whoa. ....you serious?

Nadia: (chuckles) You think I shouldn’t, after you yelling at me this morning?

Elisi: I mean, yes, completely in favor of it, it’s just... that doesn’t sound like you. You couldn’t even kill Gunmar at Killahead.

Nadia: (sighs a “not this shit again” sigh) The point of Killahead was exile, not death. Even the Sword of Daylight couldn’t kill Gunmar. We had to put him in a bridge because killing him wasn’t possible.

Elisi: Right.

Nadia: It’s different this time. Saomara has a clear weakness. And I don’t think there’s anywhere in Alaska we can lure her to that’s warm enough to slow her down.

Elisi: Also right.

Nadia: So, my plan is to teleport her closer to the equator. Any children born in her new location couldn’t survive at all, and she’ll succumb to it. Then, we’ll be able to slay her.

Elisi: Okay, then, that’s a good enough plan. Where exactly are you taking her so we can warn anyone close by what’s about to happen?

Nadia: Arcadia.

Elisi: ...

Nadia: I’ve contacted the Trollhunter and told him of what’s about to happen. He’s ready to help.

Elisi: I would have said like Hawaii or a volcano troll’s layer where it’s... y���know... hotter?

Nadia: Like you said, wherever I take her she will become another area’s problem. I thought it was best to take her to the deadliest presence would guarantee her blight won’t spread.

Elisi: Um. You’ve met the Trollhunter, right?

Nadia: Yes.

Elisi: Jim Lake?

Nadia: Junior.

Elisi: Fifteen year old human kid.

Nadia: Sixteen.

Elisi: I’m gonna be honest. I have zero faith in the kid to be able to handle this.

Nadia: He’s a great Trollhunter, Elisi. He has a good heart, a foot in both worlds, and he’s been proven capable various times he’s answered the call.

Elisi: Alright, I’m still too tired to argue. But, I’ll come along to help. I get the feeling you’ll need all the help you can get.

Nadia: Yes.

Elisi: And Alora? Heard from her?

Nadia: Not for twelve hours. She was texting all through our phone conversation. I want to teleport her out of that nest first, but if Saomara or her whelps are touching her, they’re going to get teleported too. I’ve texted her to send a signal when she’s ready to go, but... nothing.

Elisi: Alright. I say do it. Find a secluded, secure spot and use the spell to call her to you.

Nadia: Already on it. I have to say, the Anchorage Trollmarket is oddly charming and everyone here is completely ready to accommodate.

Elisi: Wait... where are you, right now?

Nadia: Anchorage Trollmarket.

Elisi: When...? HOW?!

Nadia: Six hours ago. Gyre. I’ve told the elder to close the tunnels from Noatak, so they don’t use those to come further south.

Elisi: I don’t even--

Nadia: (happy chirp) I said I’d handle it.

Elisi: Still, I don’t know if that will stop them. The hatchlings are all digging tunnels around the gyre routes.

Nadia: At least we’ve cut off the path of least resistance. And once Alaska gets the Midnight Sun, the hatchlings should be dying in droves. Wait, do you get Midnight Sun in your area?

Elisi: Yeah, later in the month. It’s a good point. Okay, so you’ve got a spot set up for the teleport.

Nadia: Yes. I’m going to do it right now. I have swordsmen waiting outside the door should I bring Saomara or any hatchlings with me.

Elisi: Okay. I’ll leave you to it. Give me a call back when you’re done, alright?

Nadia: Will do. Talk to you soon.

Elisi: Good luck, Nadia. I’ll be waiting for your call.

(They hang up)

(Ten minutes later, Nadia sends a photo to Elisi’s phone. It’s a selfie shot of her and a very mauled and bloody Alora barely hanging on to consciousness but smiling and giving a peace sign with her only surviving arm. She’s just a head, one arm and torso; everything else has been ripped off and eaten.)

Nadia: (texts afterward) All went well. No incident. Alora’s being taken to a bone mender to rest. I’m exhausted but I’ll call you in a second.

(Call from Elisi’s phone to Nadia’s the second after the photo and text.)

Elisi: WHAT IN THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HER?!

Nadia: Calm down, she’ll be fine and regenerating once she gets some rest.

Elisi: NO! YOU DON’T GET IT! WE SHOULDN’T HAVE LEFT HER FOR SO LONG! WHAT IF SHE GAVE UP WANTING TO LIVE AFTER EVERYTHING THAT MONSTER DID TO HER?! SHE WOULD HAVE DIED! SHE WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY, PERMANENTLY DIED!

Nadia: (doesn’t answer)

Elisi: (sighs as she tries to calm down) Listen, I... I don’t blame you. You were just doing as she told you. It’s just... we really could have lost her.

Nadia: Elisi, she’s okay now. She’ll recover in time. Let’s focus on the one that did this to her.

Elisi: (growls) Oh, you bet I’m doing that right now...

Nadia: If the hatchlings are digging tunnels all over the reserve, that nest could be anywhere. Alora’s asleep now, so she won’t be able to tell us where.

Elisi: I’m not worried about that at all. We get her to come to us.

Nadia: How?

Elisi: She found us in the tunnels when the gyre crashed. Those massive amounts of hatchlings gave away our position to her. All we have to do is wait in a good spot and signal to the hoard where we are, and she’ll come running. It’s not a perfect plan, but it’s better than attempting to hunt her down.

Nadia: I agree. The Trollmarket here does have a lot of research material for me to work with. Once I knew what I was looking for, information on the Evlakeel was easy to gather. So, they are ambush hunters, and also are smart enough to spot and craft traps. Until Alora wakes up, I can’t figure out how smart Saomara truly is. If we set a trap, she may recognize it and act accordingly.

Elisi: What I’m hearing is, we need more time to figure out what to do.

Nadia: On my end, yes. The teleportation spell took a lot out of me, so I need to recover my magic. Alora will be asleep for a while, so she won’t be much help. Where are you right now? At home?

Elisi: Yes.

Nadia: Okay. If you want, you can start exterminations, attempt to take a census on the hatchlings, locate the nest, or help your town. You don’t have to stand around and wait for us, just don’t do anything rash.

Elisi: Okay. I’ll start figuring out how to take this plague down a notch or two. You two rest up. Call or text if you need anything at all.

Nadia: Eh-heh. That reminded me. Alora cussed me out saying that my calling her phone got her found out when she was hiding in the tunnels. Which was how she got caught and taken to the nest. Maybe put your phone on vibrate?

Elisi: Duly noted. When she wakes up, ask her what happened and how I might have wound up outside.

Nadia: Alright. I’ll go rest and take care of Alora. Be careful out there, Elisi.

Elisi: I know the entire reserve. I’ll be alright. Again, lemme know if anything happens or comes up.

Nadia: The same for you. Take care, sister.

Elisi: You as well, sister. Rest up. Talk to you soon.

Nadia: Talk to you soon.

(They both hang up)

(Text from Elisi’s phone to Nadia’s phone six hours later.)

Elisi: I can’t stay awake. Fol is keeping guard. I’ll call again in a few hours.

Nadia: Okay. Stay safe, sister. I’ll update you when you call.

(Elisi’s phone calls Nadia’s phone six hours from the text.)

Elisi: Hey, how are you?

Nadia: Refreshed. Alora’s awake too, fully regenerated but her legs aren’t working yet. (pause) ...she wants to talk to you, is that alright?

Elisi: Yeah, put her on.

Alora: (once the phone is passed to her) Sup nerd? You alive?

Elisi: (sigh of relief) I honest to God thought we lost you.

Alora: I’ll admit, I felt like given up the fifth time I was being eaten alive, but I got over it. Mostly out of spite. Man, this troll is a huge bitch.

Elisi: You got it to talk, I heard?

Alora: I just got done talking to Nadia about it, but yeah. Her name is Saomara. She fell into an icy river escaping trolls hunting her, and somehow got frozen in a glacier in the process. Thawed out and clawed out last year, based on her timeline. Swam here across the Berring Straight and dug herself a home in Alaska. And hibernated until now.

Elisi: Until now?

Alora: Yeah. Normally they just hibernate in the summer after laying eggs, but she was tired. ...her words, not mine. 

Elisi: I honestly can’t believe this thing can talk.

Alora: You and me both. Imagine me being pulled into its nest and eaten. I wake up and I’m eaten again. I wake up, and she’s all (speaks in First Tongue: “You don’t die, do you?”) and I didn’t answer at first. Like, what in the actual fuck, First Tongue, who even SPEAKS that anymore?! Then I answer in English, “Eh, I don’t feel like it.” She must have understood me, because she got pissed and ate me again.

Elisi: Hmm... had she said anything else?

Alora: Well, I asked her what her plan was. And she just said “Live as I always have.” So, she doesn’t plan on leaving. Probably not until everything in your park is dead. THEN she’ll leave and do it all over again somewhere else.

Elisi: Well, we’ve learned that her species will die in warmer climates. The plan is to bring her to us via a distraction, and teleport her to Arcadia. Myself, Nadia and the Trollhunter can kill her easily there.

Alora: I was also telling Nadia that this plan sucks balls.

Elisi: I know the Trollhunter is inexperienced, but in this case...

Alora: No, he’s not the problem. You’re not teleporting this bitch ANYWHERE!

Elisi: Why not?

Alora: She’s faster than she looks. You may not remember, but she chased me through nearly half a mile of tunnels and caught up to me pretty damn fast. I had to hide us in one of the tunnels she dug after our gyre crashed, and she was zipping back and forth trying to find us. 

Elisi: Oh yeah, how did I make it out alive and you didn’t?

Alora: So, in that tunnel was a way out. I had to climb and push you out first. Then my fucking phone fucking rang and gave my fucking position away and that bitch climbed right through and pulled me out.

Nadia: (off to the side) I said I was sorry.

Alora: It worked out. I got us some useful info.

Elisi: Anything else at all? You were down there for two days.

Alora: So, this bitch doesn’t give one flying fuck about any of her hatchlings. Not a one. That’s why so many of them are dead. They just walk into sunlight without knowing any better. Don’t develop hunting skills. She doesn’t do anything for them. I really thought, how is it these things didn’t go extinct on their own?

Elisi: They’re basically the embodiment of Darwinism. Survival of the fittest. The smartest. The ones that learned from the others are the ones who grow up and breed the next generation.

Alora: Pretty much, yeah. There’s some bigger ones down here, and some bigger than those, and a couple are bigger than those. And mama cares about THEM very, very much. If I even looked at one of them funny, she’d bite something off of me. And that happened A LOT. Eventually, I managed to make a knife and throw it at one of those bigger ones and mortally wounded it. Oh, she got piiiiiiiissed!

Elisi: And she ate you?

Alora: Worse. She sicced the bigger ones on me. All of them ripped me apart. When enough of me came back to text Nadia, she started realizing that I was calling for help all this time. She ate my hands, which included my phone.

Elisi: Well, that sounded like it sucked.

Alora: So, where was I? Oh yeah, so because she doesn’t care about her hatchlings, they won’t be coming with her. So, if she leaves the area, you’re gonna be mopping up the leftovers for at least a year.

Elisi: I can live with that. The source of them is gone, so eventually the rest will die off.

Alora: The bigger ones are also kinda her bodyguards at this point. We’ll have to kill those regardless, but they’re easier to kill than she is.

Elisi: That’s good.

Alora: But, she’s smart enough to sniff out traps. And set some of her own. So, yeah, coming back to the topic, teleporting her is gonna be harder to do. Next to impossible.

Elisi: So what’s your better idea, then?

Alora: I’m trying to get Nadia to approve it, but simply, it’s this. We teleport US instead. Nadia will teleport us to different parts of the gyre tunnels, and lure her to us. We’ll keep her running through the gyre tunnels until we reach Arcadia, and then we strike.

Elisi: You just said yourself she’s smart enough to see through traps. What makes you think she won’t understand what we’re doing?

Alora: Maybe she will. So, we give her a reason to chase us. We kill the bigger whelps, or the grown whelps. She’ll be so blinded with rage, all she’ll want to do is kill us no matter where we go.

Elisi: I’m still not completely sold on this idea.

Alora: She won’t drop eggs while chasing us, so there’s no reason to worry about whelps spreading through the Pacific Northwest. (pauses) I’m looking over the books and stuff Nadia found here, and jeez, these things are the duckbill platypus of the troll world. Like, why do you exist? Why does every inch of your weird self exist? Why?

Elisi: It really feels like she may know what we’re doing and stop chasing us.

Alora: I’m as skeptical as you are, but it’s either we try to teleport her out and fail. Or we teleport ourselves safe distances away and lure her down the tunnels gradually. Both have huge risks. If we try teleporting her, and Nadia fails, we’ve lost our only chance to do so.

Elisi: What about the teleport spell Nadia used to get you out of trouble? We can’t just take a gyre to Arcadia, find a secure, secluded spot in Trollmarket and say her name to teleport her to us.

Alora: You really think this bitch is so stupid to give me her real name after finding out I couldn’t die and was able to talk to her? You think they DIDN’T have rites of passage back then? Do you really want to take the chance of us believing without the shadow of a doubt that SAOMARA is her real name?

Elisi: You do have a point. But this is the safer option for us with the best guarantee.

Alora: And if it doesn’t work, what’s the plan then?

Elisi: (is silent)

Alora: Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Elisi: The other problem with this plan of yours is that it sounds like you want to be there. I heard you can’t walk yet.

Alora: Yeah, it’ll be a couple of days until I can. So, you’re gonna have to carry me.

Elisi: (groans)

Alora: Also, that bitch ate my phone. Someone needs to buy me a new one.

Nadia: (off to the side) I’ll get it for you.

Elisi: And how much does the Trollhunter know about this plan?

Alora: Nadia is texting him after this to go over it with him.

Nadia: No, I’m not.

Alora: Oh, yes you are.

Nadia: We’re throwing a vengeful brood mother right on his doorstep. One that we can barely handle ourselves. Why would he--

Alora: Tell him this is a call.

Nadia: I’m going to text him, not--

Alora: A TROLLHUNTER’S call. Tell him after this.

Nadia: (is quiet)

Elisi: You’re really serious about this.

Alora: This is the only plan I can think of that will work the best.

Elisi: Me carrying your butt through the tunnels?

Alora: We’ll be teleporting.

Nadia: I can’t teleport all of us that fast.

Alora: Find a way. Find something.

Nadia: (is quiet)

Elisi: That’s... pretty much what this is riding on. IF Nadia can even do it.

Nadia: ...there is a way. First, I need a map of the tunnels. The latest one.

Alora: (barks at some nearby trolls in Troll to get a map).

Elisi: Alright. Listen, I need to check on my own extermination teams and be sure the village is still alright. You both work the kinks out of this plan and call me back later. 

Alora: Roger wilco.

Elisi: Hand the phone back to Nadia so I can say goodbye.

Alora: Alright. Later, nerd. 

Nadia: (once she gets her phone back) We’ll call once we come up with a better plan.

Elisi: Sure. If I come up with something, I’ll text. You two get some rest.

Nadia: I know we don’t have time.

Elisi: Yeah.

Nadia: So, we’ll try to make this quick.

Elisi: Yep. Same here. You two rest up, we’ll talk later.

Nadia: Okay. Talk to you soon, sister.

Elisi: Talk to you soon.

(They both hang up)

(Call from Nadia’s phone to Elisi’s an hour later)

Nadia: Hello?

Elisi: I’m here.

Nadia: First, how is everyone?

Elisi: Scared. The sun is going down. The hatchlings are scratching around the house trying to get in. There’s casualties of ill-prepared people going against these things... Either we finish this now, or wait for summer when they hibernate and try to snuff them out then.

Nadia: Either way, time is of the essence. If we wait for summer, she’ll dig her nest anywhere and we won’t find her until she wakes up. I’m ready to start Alora’s plan.

Elisi: You have a teleportation method? For a place you’ve never been to?

Nadia: Yes. So, the gyre tunnels in Noatak have tracks, yes?

Elisi: Laid those out myself, yes.

Nadia: Well, you put markers on them detailing where on the surface you are. And there’s similar markers the gyre itself is propelled towards when traveling from point A to point B, after setting the coordinants.

Elisi: (sarcastically) Great, you just taught me how a gyre works. Learn something new every--

Nadia: I can teleport off of those.

Elisi: ...

Nadia: There’s just enough of an electromagnetic wave signature for me to see and teleport to it. So, I’ve made a map of twenty two that I can teleport all of us to that is short enough to make Saomara follow us, and is the shortest amount of teleports that I can do.

Elisi: ...

Nadia: Elisi, we can do this. And we’re ready to go right now. Just give the word, and Alora and I will be at your location, ready to start.

Elisi: ...(chuckles) I honestly can’t think of a better plan. But I strongly don’t think this will work.

Nadia: It is our best shot at stopping this while we can. Besides, we have our three best immortals taking point, right? So what’s the worst that can happen?

Elisi: That this fails, the three of us are food supply for almost a million hungry mouths, and by the time they go to sleep in the summer, everyone and thing in the preserve is dead.

Nadia: So, no pressure?

Elisi: None. (sighs a tired sigh) Alright, let’s do this. Is Jim up to speed on this?

Nadia: He sounded nervous on the phone, but he’s ready. I’ve already given word to close down the gyre tunnels so we don’t get any unwanted surprises.

Elisi: Okay. I’m ready when you are.

Nadia: I’ll text him that we’re about to start. We’ll be at your location in five minutes, and down the gyre tunnels shortly afterward.

Elisi: Let’s do this.

Nadia: See you soon, sister.

Elisi: See you soon.

(They both hang up)

(Texting from Nadia’s phone to Jim Lake Jr.’s phone.)

Elisi: Jim, this is Elisi, Nadia’s sister. We haven’t met, but I’ll be the one giving you updates. Nadia will be busy hurrying to teleport points.

Jim: Alright, I’m ready when you guys are.

Elisi: Okay, here’s the skinny: We’ll be teleporting along 22 points on the gyre tunnels. Each time we teleport, I’ll let you know with the corresponding number, counting down from 22 to 1, so you know when to be ready.

Jim: Got it. Where are you now?

Elisi: At point 22. Next text will be the next teleport point. Be on guard, Trollhunter. She’s coming.

Jim: Good to know. :) (he is silently panicking on the inside)

(Five minutes later, Alora uses a music app to blast Rob Zombie’s “Superbeast.” This is the distraction.)

(Texts sent from Nadia’s phone to Jim’s phone, sent by Elisi)

Elisi: 21

(Two minutes later)

Elisi: 20

(Two minutes later)

Elisi: 19

(Three minutes later)

Elisi: 18

Elisi: Dammit, she’s onto us, one moment

(Five minutes later)

Elisi: 17

(Six minutes later)

Elisi: 16 16 16

Jim: What’s going on?!

Elisi: Killed a whelp. Pbly won’t have time to tx.

(Four minutes later)

Elisi: 15

(Fifteen minutes later)

Jim: Nadia? Elisi?

Elisi: 14. Dragging her back. 

(Two minutes later)

Elisi: 13

(One minute later)

Elisi: 12

Elisi: Nadia is tired, we’re hoofing it.

Jim: Be careful!

(Half an hour later)

Elisi: Back on track. 11

Elisi: 10

Elisi: 9

Jim: Guys?

Elisi: Gotta go fast!

Eisi: 8

Elisi: Almost there, get rdy!

Elisi: 7

(Ten minutes later)

Elisi: 6

(Two minutes later)

Elisi: 5

(Ten minutes later)

Jim: Guys?!

Elisi: Nadia is too tired to keep teleporting. We’re running. Almost there.

Jim: No, I need that countdown guys!

Elisi: 3

Jim: askdjfoiahgaihg

Elisi: 2

(Five minutes later)

Elisi: 1

(Two minutes later)

Elisi: Knock knock

(Video filmed from Nadia’s phone. Saomara is in Trollmarket’s dungeon on the rocky ground, pinned with several spears and surrounded by burning torches and bright crystals. There’s several stone eggs and stone hatchling bodies under her. Saomara is conscious and glaring at the phone.)

Nadia: Okay, making a record for later. It’s May 21, the last living Evlakeel is secured and detained in Heartstone Trollmarket. Killing it has proven more difficult than thought, seeing as Arcadia is in the middle of a cold snap. We’re waiting for summer weather in a few days, or finding a suitable place to exile her.

Saomara: (raspy, growling voice) Who are you talking to, witch?

Nadia: (pauses, then chuckles) This device I’m holding does more than call people. I’m saving my words into it so others can hear it later. For all time. You’re living history, my friend.

Saomara: I’m not your friend. Release me.

Nadia: I won’t. Not after you called me a witch. Listen to me, exile is a likely fate for you and whatever is left of your brood.

Saomara: (growls)

Nadia: We could kill you in a few days when the weather gets warmer. And California is known for it’s warm sunny days.

Saomara: (growls louder)

Nadia: We could also find a nice sunny spot to leave you, that should kill you right away.

Saomara: What is stopping you?

Nadai: Well... you. You’ve been a surprisingly tough opponent. Our Trollhunter is in the hospital now, my sister Alora is dead yet again, and whatever you left behind in Alaska is terrorizing my other sister’s family. You’ve spread us all pretty thin, so all that’s left is me.

Saomara: Think you so tough?

Nadia: Well, where are you right now?

Saomara: (snarls and tries to get up. She’s also in one of Nadia’s protection circles, which keeps her from leaving while Nadia is present)

Nadia: I’d advise you to get some sleep. Take solace in knowing that you live for longer until we decide what to do with you.

Saomara: The possibility of life, this is what you promise me.

Nadia: Maybe if you answer some of my questions.

Saomara: (growls again) I will not fall for your fake promises. I’m sure there’s many books about me, and my kind.

Nadia: There are. But it’s a shame. I was really hoping to learn more about you from you.

Saomara: I have nothing to say to you, witch.

Nadia: (pauses, then lowers the phone to turn it off) ... (in a sickly sweet voice to the phone) Please excuse me.

(Text sent from Alora’s phone to Nadia’s.)

Alora: (sends a picture of a living hatchling next to the “Welcome To Arcadia” sign)

Nadia: Oh no!

Alora: Yeah

Nadia: I’ll deal with the problem as soon as I can!

Alora: Sure, but I get the feeling this won’t be like Alaska. Once that summer weather sets in, they’ll drop like flies no matter where they are here.

Nadia: Still, I can’t take that chance!

Alora: Get ready for more of those frograt statues!

Nadia: Ugh! I can’t believe that name stuck!

Alora: I’m thinking of painting them myself and memeing the crap out of them on the internet.

Nadia: How’s your legs?

Alora: Great! Physical therapy is coming along swell. Should be out of here in a week.

Nadia: Okay, so I have until then to solve the frograt problem.

Alora: HA

Nadia: The name stuck, shut up!

Alora: (laughing while crying emoji)

Nadia: Anyway, you get well soon, I’ll deal with this myself.

Alora: And what’s the verdict on mama?

Nadia: We’re waiting for warmer weather, when she’ll be at her weakest. And then give her a formal execution. Also, Alaska should be seeing the polar sun soon, and when it does the remaining hatchlings in Naotak will have nowhere to hide above ground. Things should return to normal in a few weeks.

Alora: Admit it, you wanna keep one of these little fuzzballs.

Nadia: Absolutely not! They eat everything they find! They’re all too dangerous to leave alive!

Alora: Teasing. Do what you have to do. I’m just really really happy that everything worked out.

Nadia: Yeah. Best case scenario. Thank you, Alora.

Alora: Heh. Sister’s help each other. It’s only natural.

Nadia: Shouldn’t you be getting some rest?

Alora: I guess. Nothing on TV. I’m bored.

Nadia: I need to go take a census of these frograts and keep them in one area. Not sure how long I’ll be.

Alora: Take your time. Just lemme know when you’re done. I’ll snag a wheelchair and we’ll get burgers.

Nadia: Sounds good to me. Rest well, sister.

Alora: Take it easy yourself, Nadia.

Nadia: Bye.

Alora: Later gater. (winky emoji)