#The Highest Topamax Dose Legally Allowed

[chicago-geniza]

Everybody please clap I went to the asthma diet study and then to two pharmacies in wholly disparate areas of Chicago and went to T-Mobile and found out how to fix my phone even if they didn't have the requisite component in stock and discovered insurance needs to renew the prior approval on my T for the new year so I sent it to my doctor for review and discovered I am locked out of my state benefits online account and the email tech support was singularly unhelpful so am calling the Humboldt Park office in the morning to see if a human being can sort it out, vaguely recall I do NOT need to renew Medicaid but want to make absolutely sure so will call THAT number first thing in the morning too; also - replaced my busted headphones at the student store so I didn't have a meltdown, picked up a notebook and some Post-Its, impulsively swung by the uni library and discovered my card still worked and checked out Cayhill on Benjamin, Nietzsche on tragedy, and two Ernst Bloch books in translation, also cased their periodicals for dissertation research; nobody is there! It's so quiet and still. They have Dialog and their microfiche stores are un-fucking-believable. I'm going to start reserving a cubicle--there's a word for library cubicle that sounds like cassock, that's my middle-word, the monkish studiousness, hunched over illuminating manuscripts, it's my mnemonic, like the image the word passes through by association before I remember--carrel, that's it. (Sp?) Passel, tassel. Bundles of papers, tops of scholars' caps and trails of tapestries in halls of learning, it's the phonetic associations, it's never semantic for me, really. Diogenes in a barrel. Etc. K calls it constellation thinking, which I prefer to the pathological tone with which people cut the phrase "free association." It's fun to write like this, how I think! Freewheeling at any rate. Kept thinking of that quote about how we are dancing animals put on earth to fart around, like. Yeah. Truly my mind woke up when I spent a day with the common cold under a gray sky running stupid Kafkaesque errands and dilly-dallying about it. An old woman came up to me and complained about the parking and the traffic and her bad leg and her bad doctor and the bad weather. We commiserated, comrades in misery, each with our bad legs and our bad doctors under the weight of the sullen sky. I love the city, I love the bus driver who greeted everyone cheerfully despite the dreariness, I love that three people on the train platform were wearing the same shoes as me, these Adidas sneakers I got at the thrift store seven years ago. It is so much easier to be open and kind when I do not feel like a prey animal all the time. Did not think this post would arrive at "encomium to anxiety medication and Going Outside [which I am able to do because of anxiety medication]" but here we are lol