#Thanks to how Boom is structured and it being a plotless comedy rather than a serious story

[kamenrideryeets]

Okay, time for a hot take.

Boom "Sonadow,” SPECIFICALLY the Boom versions, is an atrocious ship.

Modern Shadow at least has some moments of getting along with Sonic. Boom Shadow is all the bad parts of Modern Shadow and none of the good parts of Real Shadow (pre-06) that make Shasoni a good ship.

All Boom Shadow has ever done is physically beat and verbally insult Sonic. All of Sonic and Shadow’s interactions in Boom are abusive. But unlike Modern Shadow, Boom Shadow doesn’t have any reason for his behavior.

Modern Shadow at least still has Maria and GUN to give a backstory for the way he is. Boom Shadow has no backstory at all, none of the hidden depths. He’s just a jerkass who randomly shows up to abuse Sonic and his friends.

Shadow was only put in Boom in the first place because the fandom demanded that he be. And it shows. The team making Boom didn’t even LOOK at the original Shadow’s backstory, they just saw “edgy rival, Ultimate Life Form” and shoved a thinly-outlined caricature of the guy into the game and show, not even bothering to explain where the “Ultimate Life Form” title came from, and with the worst voice acting of any Sonic character in history.

A big contribution to why Modern Shadow is so poorly written, because Sega for whatever reason decided that the flanderized personalities in Boom should be the characters’ canon personalities forever and ever. Even as the other characters begin to be written better, they retain an iron grip on Shadow.

But Modern Shadow at least has moments of reason and compassion. Moments that make us actually care for him as one of the good guys.

Boom Shadow is just an asshole who hates everyone, especially Sonic, to the point where HE’S WILLING TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO GET RID OF HIM, and yet for some reason people still insist that behind that he secretly loves Sonic... and Sonic loves him back... just because you ship their FAR more compatible Modern selves so their Boom selves must be the same?

I don’t usually bring up preboot Archie, but that’s like the toxic Sonamy shippers shipping Scourge with Rosy instead of Fiona, not because it’s a better ship, but just because Rosy is Scourge’s version of Amy, and they can’t possibly imagine an alternate Sonic being with anyone else. From what little I’ve seen of her, Rosy is the most badly written version of Amy... but 1000x WORSE, EXPLICITLY yandere, and would probably keep Scourge tied up in her basement.

I am not insulting Modern/Real Shasoni. It’s not one of my OTPs, but it’s pretty cute. But the Boom versions... do not work.

I don’t care about the fanfics out there, Shasoni or not, giving Boom Shadow a backstory and sympathy. The Shadow in those fanfics is not Boom Shadow. He has depth. Canon Boom Shadow does not have depth. He only has abuse.

One exception I will make is a hilarious headcanon I discovered on Discord that actually makes a lot of sense: “Boom Sonic and Shadow are exes.” This actually explains a lot of their spite for each other. But I will not adapt this headcanon as “they will eventually make up and find their way back together.” I see it as “Shadow was the abusive boyfriend that Sonic had to let go of, and Sonic will eventually find a happy relationship with Knuckles or Amy that he can rub in Shadow’s face til the day that edgy fucker dies, alone and unloved.”

Yes, he dies. He’s not immortal like Modern/Real Shadow. Nothing and nobody in Boom canon says he is, even if the Sonic wiki does. Nothing even says he’s the Ultimate Life Form. It’s just a title that he randomly has. It was never explained. And it never will be explained, now that Sega has decided to exile Boom from existence.

I will say it again: There is nothing wrong with the Sonadow/Shasoni ship as a whole. It is the most popular ship in the franchise, and I can see why. But shipping their Sonic Boom counterparts, specifically those versions, will never sit right with me.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.