#Ten's OCs: Novel
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Doing the Which of your OCs... asks for my homemade blorbos. Part 1: Question 1 - 13. (If you want to know more about these guys, check out their tags on my blog!)
has the best hair? As a certified impossibly-pretty-hair-enjoyer, that's a difficult pick. I'm gonna say Corzian, whose hair is ridiculously long, wavy and looks perfect all times even though he spent his entire youth sick in bed and now adventures daily with little to no time spent on its care. Elven privilege.
uses/would use the most products? Definitely Crim, he enjoys the ritual of pampering his own body and will happily take an hour to indulgently and thoroughly apply oils and creams and powders.
frustrates you the most? Zaphir, hands down. He is emotionally stunted, in a permanent state of paranoia and old enough to be very stubborn about his beliefs, and I want his story to be about finding inner peace and comfort and genuine companionship... but his story is the story of BG3, which is not conductive to overcoming trust issues. Hhhhhhhh....
makes you smile the most? ALL MY BLORBOS MAKE ME SMILE A LOT But Solstice's overflowing love and kindness is kind of infectuous, and sometimes he is also just really really funny in the most wholesome ways.
is the happiest? I think that'd be Qursa, now that he's reunited with his brother. He is with his family and they're doing good for the galaxy, that's all he ever wanted.
is the saddest? *slaps Crim* this bad boy can fit so much grief in him. He lost everyone he ever loved, as well as himself, and has to worry about losing more every single day. (He'll get better eventually.) I also have a yet unnamed guy percolating in my skull-raisin who is hella unhappy.
is/would be the first to die in a Horror scenario? Yukiro. He's a good fighter and a good sneak, but he is also in bad health and is the kind of man who would tell his team to "Go, I'll hold them off".
has been with you the longest? Making OCs permeates my life, so it's a bit hard to tell sometimes, but I think if we assume AU versions of an OC to still be the same character, then the OC I have had the longest and who has gotten new thoughts added within this year is Meredith, my Saints Row Boss. OG Meredith is basically retired (in a satisfying way), but there is a New Saints Row version of him.
is your newest? Fully existing, that would be my SWTOR Inquisitor, Ru'lonn, who will drag the empire into a new age of alien power even if he has to do it at forcelightningpoint. Still in larval form is unnamed guy, who achieved immortality in the worst possible way.
has the best butt? According to reliable and professional sources, Zaphir. He has been a Monk all his life, he could probably kill a man with his buttcheeks.
is/would be the most likely to get caught committing a crime? Novel would a) absolutely commit a crime for the sake of his townspeople or his temple and b) be really bad at it and get himself caught immediately.
likes/would like animals the most? It's a toss-up between Novel, the Ranger who was saved as a baby by ravens and is never without his own bird friends and loves all of nature, and (surprise) Qursa, who discovered that he is an exceptional healer because he can feel the pain of other living beings by noticing and healing injured animals as a youngling, and who still deeply cares for them now (except certain bugs, bugs are freaky).
can/could cook the best? I have had to realise that nearly all of my OCs have cooking skills ranging from "eh" to "oh god please no". In the context of this unfortunate trend, only Yukiro stands out as someone who can make a decent meal from nearly any ingredient he has available at the time, and makes amazing inarizushi.
#Ten's OCs#Ten's OCs: Crim#Ten's OCs: Solstice#Ten's OCs: Zaphir#Ten's OCs: Novel#Ten's OCs: Yukiro#Ten's OCs: Qursa#Ten's OCs: Meredith#Ten's OCs: Corzian#Ten's OCs: Ru'lonn#Ten's OCs: The Immortal
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thinkin abt writing a Normal Fic bc i cant find what im looking for,,,,, things r dire
#im falling back into gf like everyone else but theres???? like no fic??#like obvs theres tens of thousands but only like. 2! two tens of thousands!#which is not v many and you'd think there'd be more Beautiful Canon Compliant(ish) Novels for me to peruse#but alas!!!!!!!! not rlly!!!!#i want anything fiddauthor but more than that i want fiddlestan after ford disappears.......is that 2 much 2 ask....#watch your feet#anyways i found like one fic that looks ok so im gonna read it for inspo#most of the fics understandably have the children. unfortunately i do not want to read abt the children#oh and normal fic means canon character/canon character w no OCs. which is so out of my wheelhouse
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something I like to do is look at old doodles.. I don't remember the context for this, but I just love the sudden turn of Mint's expression here
#best oc i have fr#she'll be in a visual novel!!#which.. is still in development#it'll take the next ten years of my life probably to ever make one haha#just know that she wont be the protagonist
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i think part of the reason shang qinghua transmigrated as a baby is because he needed more time to think of the story’s world as real. everyone was either his oc or a background character, so he felt a sense of ownership over everyone. so for him to transmigrate as a character whose backstory he may have only had in vague impressions, it probably forced him to interact with characters he didn’t ‘own’ for a long time before he met the ones that were his.
after ten, eleven, twelve years of relying on characters who probably didn’t even exist as faceless nobodies in his novel, he had no choice to think of them as real. watching his parents celebrate the birth of his younger brother and then grieve his death, feeling the way their relationship became strained afterward, seeing them trying to start over with their own new families… the similarity to his first life wasn’t lost on him.
these people were real, their emotions were real—their potential to hurt and to be hurt in exchange—all of it was real.
when he had to be shang qinghua, character and traitor to the sect, he fell back on trying to convince himself that it was all a story anyway. he’d been lying to himself treating it all as real—it was just a novel he wrote decades ago. no reason to ache when he saw the terror in his shizhi’s eyes, their bodies mangled on the ground. no reason to feel sick from the guilt. he had to do it. it was just a story. none of it was real, none of them were real.
shen qingqiu’s grief after the immortal alliance conference was near-legendary. there were stories and poems and songs written about the pain of a seemingly cold master kneeling at his precious disciple’s sword mound and calling out for him day in and day out.
shang qinghua’s grief was buried in productivity. no one commented on how efficient an ding peak was after the conference. how mistakes decreased, processes were streamlined, fewer tasks were delegated away from the the peak lord’s desk. how shang qinghua woke up in a cot on qian cao more often than he’d ever admit.
he wasn’t grieving his lost martial family. there was nothing to grieve. they weren’t real.
maybe soon, he’d start to believe it.
#wow i didn’t mean to write that much#i’m emotional about sqh#my special boy#shang qinghua#svsss#scum villain self saving system#scumbag system#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#character study?#svsss character study#sqh#svsss sqh
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Heh…. take a bunch of my npmd headcanons :3 idk how in character these are, but i tried
michie is in this, so if you don’t like that, uh…… this might not be the post for you
ALSO!!! Rory is @blue-razzslushie2’s oc!!! go check out their rp blog for them :3
One time Richie was talking about an anime, and Ruth made a joke about yaoi. Afterwards, when her and Grace were alone, Grace asked her what yaoi was. Ruth explained it, and the next day, Grace confronted Richie and asked if he needed to see her pastor.
Ruth and Richie have Warrior Cats fursonas. They’ve drawn the rest of the group as cats together.
During Halloween, the students were allowed to come to school in their costumes. Steph dressed as princess Leia. Pete couldn’t look her in the eye the entire day.
Richie doesn’t just like anime, no, he’s convinced himself the characters are real. He has an Eren Yeager poster in his room, and Ruth came over one time and accidentally threw her sock at it. Richie cried the rest of the hangout because he was scared she hurt him.
Richie also uses a lot of Japanese in his vocabulary. Ruth and Rory call him an Otaku for it.
Max has a grandma with Alzheimer’s that he takes care of. He cares about her a lot. When she died, he was the nicest he’d ever been to the nerds for a week. He was too distraught to be a dickhead. (got this idea based on a fic!!)
One time Richie insulted true crime and mystery novels, and Rory made a youtube channel similar to Cinema Sins and posted ten videos in one day about all the anime’s Richie liked and how they sucked.
Richie unironically came to school in a maid dress and cat ears in the eighth grade for Halloween. Max called him pussy for a week.
When Rory eventually tells the nerds about the Lords in Black, Richie and Ruth immediately start making fanart of what they could possibly look like. A lot of them were Tumblr sexymen-esque.
Ruth tried getting the school to do Death Note the musical just so Richie would do theater with her and her anxiety wouldn’t get so bad. It did not work.
Richie LOVESSS Vocaloid.
Whenever Ruth says something horny, Grace slips the number and address of her church into her locker or on a detention note.
When Max is nice to the nerds again, he starts joining their D&D sessions. He says he only does it because Steph goes despite how nerdy it is, but he always sits directly next to Richie when the other DMs and he tries interacting with his characters as much as possible..
i’ll post more eventually
#starkid#hatchetfield#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#richie lipschitz#ruth fleming#peter spankoffski#stephanie lauter#grace chasity#max jagerman#headcanons#npmd headcanons#royall yapper
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okay so, redesigning nadine for the third and (hopefully) final time. i felt she looked too similar to soraya (my keyframes fall mc) so i changed nadine up a bit. also!! i was trying to find oc templates to fill out for my visual novel ocs and although there’s so many out there, none were exactly what i was looking for soooo…. I made my own! i’ll post my other our life ocs with them soon but first, nadine ! (again)
I’ve also changed my own mind. Nadine will be my MC for Qiu’s route.
Nadine introduction <3
Nadine spent much of her early childhood moving from place to place, all within her home state of California but oftentimes in different cities. Moving around so often made it hard to keep in contact with friends and after a while made it especially hard making friends in the first place.
When Opal tells Nadine they‘re moving once again, Nadine is surprised to learn they’re moving to Oregon, their neighboring state. This time, she learns it’ll be a more permanent location. Nadine doesn’t know exactly how to feel. She’s so used to moving around that being in a place for so long sounds foreign, weird and new. However, part of her can’t help but feel excited, especially since she gets her own room now! But no matter what, she knows mama will be with her every step of the way.
Upon meeting Qiu and Tamarack, Nadine quickly feels they can be the best of friends. Nadine has always been more of a quiet person but not necessarily shy. Spend enough time with her and you’ll find she can talk quite a lot. Yet she’s perfectly content with simply listening as well.
Nadine is mostly a rule follower. Rules are there for a reason right? She prides herself on being neat and orderly. All her belongings are pristine and in their place because that’s just how she likes it. During step 1, Nadine strongly dislikes getting dirty. Which can be difficult to avoid if you’re playing outside in the woods.
Step Two !!
After four years, Nadine has adjusted well into her new home. Although Nadine needs glasses she very much prefers to use eye contacts instead. It’s also the most convenient when ice skating. She’s taken on ice skating as her main past time and she’s fairly good. Her transportation of choice has been rollerblading so it makes sense she got into ice skating as well.
Her other hobbies are more on the creative side. She enjoys crafting and drawing on occasion. Cosplaying is also one of her major hobbies. For years she has worked on making her Halloween costumes with the help of Mama.
During this time Nadine becomes more of a shy person. During her earlier childhood, she had no problem voicing her thoughts and opinions but it seems now that sort of thing gets harder to do as you age. Thankfully, she has her two close friends to turn to whenever she needs a hand, and in turn she will be there for them as well.
Step Three !!
Nadine has less and less time to do things she wants. If this is how adult life is she wants zero part of it </3
Nadine has always prioritized their studies (although that became much harder to do when middle school started due to her procrastination habits). Now college is weighing on their mind. Nadine still very much enjoys ice skating yet she struggles to make time to practice. Similarly, cosplaying has turning into a year long project (for Halloween of course). Doing multiple cosplays a year is something she doesn’t have time for anymore. Although they are often busy, Nadine will always make time for a special someone and her best friend, Tamarack.
Step Four !!
Nadine’s all grown up </3
Throughout many years Nadine has learned things about themselves and grown into the person they are today. Her experiences and the people she has been around since she was ten years old have impacted her life to mold her into who she is, for better or worse. And honestly, they wouldn’t have it any other way.
And finally this little thing I made with all of Nadine’s doll icons. I had to edit many of them to fit the hair style and clothing options I wanted and it literally took forever </3 ouGh
Also, I apologize for the quality. I tried to preserve it as I was inserting the drawings into the template but resizing may have messed up the quality </3
#our life now and forever#our life#our life mc#qiu lin mc#tamarack baumann#qiu lin#our life games#my ocs <3#my art <3#nadine espinoza
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Family love(less). Prologue
Self-Aware! Platonic! Yandere! BSD Characters x GN! Child! Abused! Reader
Description: You are unwanted by your family because of the circumstances of your birth. Your only company are Internet and Books.
You want to escape from this place. You want to have friends and real family.
One night, something strange happened.
You woke up on streets of Yokohama.
And a silver-haired man was looking at you.
But you didn't get here alone.
Tags: Found Family, Isekai, Spoilers for Bungou Stray Dogs Anime, Manga and Light Novels.
Warning: OOC, Platonic Yandere, Bad Relatives, Abusive Family, Bulling, Hurtful comments about Reader and about BSD characters, Physical punishment. BSD Cast want to deal with bad relatives accordingly. English is my second language.
A/N: Multi-chapter fanfic. There will be named OC. All similarities with real people are accidental. This fic wasn't created to mock or to insult anyone. I just want to write something about Platonic Yandere. Hope you enjoy.
Prologue. Storm
School bell rang. The long day of studying was finally over. Students started to put their stuff back in their backpacks. It was time to go home.
You were on a mission. You needed to leave school as fast as you can, without getting the attention of teachers and other students.
You hoped that today you will be lucky enough and no one will notice you.
You quickly grabbed your backpack and hurry to the school's exit.
Getting from class to the corridor - SUCCESS!
Getting from corridor to school exit - SUCCESS!
Getting across School Yard - SUCCE....
"Out of the way, Thing!"
Someone shoved you forward. You lost your balance and fall. You tried to stand up or, at least, rolled on the side.
Someone stepped on you. They continue walking, like you were a part of the road.
Cousin Janie...
Second person followed.... Then third... Then fourth...
Bill... Lily... Jack...
You saw, how adults just moved past you. They pretend, that they didn't see, how children just walking all over another child.
It was nothing new to you.
Miss Agatha... Mister Frank...
You were glad, that, at least, adults wasn't trying to step on you.
Finally, the last of your classmates walked away. You could finally stand up.
Slowly and carefully. Your body was sore. You were dirty. All your clothes were covered in shoe marks. Your hair was dirty. Someone spit on you, you were sure of that.
You start walking home.
_____________
To get home, you need to walk near the park. Small green 'island' in your little town.
"Hey, little rat, were you playing in the dirt again?"
Your Big Brother Steve was waiting for you here. You hoped that he already was home.
Steve was grinning. His tone of voice was full of poorly hidden hate.
"Little rat, you can't go home like this. Little Pig like you need to take a bath. Don't worry, your Big Brother will help you."
He was too strong. You could never overpower a seventeen-year-old.
There was a river in the park.
And Steve threw you and your backpack right in the river.
You were glad, that river wasn't deep.
But now you were completely soaked.
"Now you really are a Rat. A Wet Dirty Rat"
Steve is gone.
You still need to go home.
__________
You reached your home.
________
Ten slaps on left cheek for been wet.
Ten slaps on right cheek for been dirty.
Spanking for trying to leave the school without been noticed.
_______
You were tired and sore.
After the shower, you limp towards your room.
The only place you can be somehow safe.
You barely manage to get into your room. It was small. You had a bed here. A shelf for clothes and books. A small table.
And no windows.
____________
You were a middle child.
Your older siblings were called gold siblings.
Smart, beautiful, handsome, future of the family.
Your younger siblings were called rays of hope.
Cute, precious, hope for the family.
And there were you...
You were you.
For some reason, no matter, what you do, it wasn't good enough for your parents.
No matter, how good your grades are, or if you've won anything.
There were always 'Don't bother me' or 'You don't matter'.
You aren't enough.
Other adults in your family ignored you. They didn't care about you.
They don't see anything wrong with your parents' attitude towards you.
It's not like you are their child.
Besides, your parents never hurt you... much.
Every parent discipline their children.
Your cousins and siblings on the other hand...
They hate you. For some reason.
They saw you as a toy or a servant.
Because adults never tell them to stop bothering you.
They learned, that they can do anything they want to you.
Your family don't care.
Under the influence of your younger siblings, other kids start treating you worse.
In good case scenario, you were ignored.
In worst case scenario you had to run away.
Teachers in your school don't care.
They have better things to do, than dealing with your problems.
__________
You learned few things.
First, always be quiet. Don't draw attention to yourself.
Second, hide important things in your drawer. Your family won't search through your underwear.
Third, there was some wrong with your birth. Something was different. Different in a bad way. You tried to learn more, but no matter who you ask, they didn't tell you anything.
Maybe, one day, when you are older, you will find the truth.
Until then, you need to live in current day.
Right now, you need to have dinner with your family.
With every member of your family.
Today was the first day of Family Reunion.
And it will be hosted in your parents' house.
_________
"[Y/N], eat slow. You are not a pig."
"[Y/N], eat faster. Don't make us wait."
"[Y/N], eat less. You are already fat."
"[Y/N], eat more. You look like a skeleton. People might think that you are starving. Your parents will be in trouble."
"[Y/N], don't you dare shout at your younger siblings! What do you mean, they deserve it? They are younger, then you, they want to play. Yes, even if by play they mean throw food at you."
__________
After taking another shower, you finally were back in your room.
You lay down on the bed. You had some free time.
You need some energy.
You open your phone.
They bought it for you to make neighbors shut up and stop gossiping about your family been so poor, they can't afford to buy a phone for a kid.
You open the app that helped you during bad times.
Bungou Stray Dogs Mayoi Inu Kaikitan
________
You learned about BSD from your siblings.
Almost all of your cousins of all ages were big fans of anime.
They liked to watch anime and manga together during video calls.
Bungou Stray Dogs were among many titles they have watched.
And they have a very strange relationship with this manga.
They hate it and love it at the same time.
They love character designs, you were sure about that.
But you are also sure, that they hate the fact, that characters were based on writers.
You remember, how your cousin Ralph failed a test about John Steinbeck. He was on a video call with your older sister, and you could hear how he was cursing Steinbeck from manga... For some reason.
You can't understand your older relatives.
And you remember, how angry your older sister Jane was on Gogol from manga. She decided to read real world Gogol works. She bought books. When she realized, that books weren't funny, she wanted to drop it. But, because your parents already knew that 'their dear princess' start reading serious literature, she couldn't do it without disappointing them.
So, she cursed character, instead of telling parents the truth.
___________
Despite the fact, that your family has a bizarre relationship with Bungou Stray Dogs and you were too young to read it, you wanted to watch BSD too. Or read it.
There was no problem with watching it. You managed to find a website where you could watch it for free.
But, no matter how hard you try, you couldn't find a way to read BSD for free.
There were all Manga volumes and Light Novels in your house. Your older brother and sister have their own copies.
And you can't ask them to let you read their copies. Because they don't like you. Because they will laugh at you. Wondering, how someone as stupid as you can read.
You can't ask your parents to buy you manga. Because your family don't care if you want something. Phone was necessary. Internet is needed by all family members. There's no law that said that parents must provide a source of entertainment for a child.
But, one day, you were in luck. A very strange luck.
Two months ago you got a whole set of BSD manga and light novels.
_____________
Your Older Brother Steve and Older Sister Jane were... very impulsive.
They tried to stay in trend. To be loved by their classmates. To stay popular in school.
So, when another popular school group decide, that Bungou Stray Dogs manga was for nerds, because cool kids don't read anything, where they can find information about real authors, your brother, sister and your cousins (who attended the same school and were 'loyal' to your older siblings) threw away their BSD Manga and Light Novels. Before that they rip some pages out, tear apart a few books, try to drown them and dance on the poor books.
Then they tell you to throw the garbage away. That's how you manage to salvage the books.
They were in need of some serious repairs, but, you could do it by yourself. And your family wasn't that petty to count, how many tapes you were using or if you take the scissors.
You spend three nights repairing books. You were searching through a big pile of manga and light novels copies for pages in good condition. You use tape and glue on pages to make them whole again.
With great care, you manage to make yourself a full collection of BSD Manga and Light Novels.
After job well done, you were finally able to read manga. You were looking forward to that moment.
__________
In BSD World. Two months ago.
__________
BSD Characters were gathered in the Meeting Room of Port Mafia.
All of them looked tired. They were on the verge of a breakdown.
They don't know why they deserved it.
But they hated that terrible creatures, that called themselves Real People.
Time and time again, they were forced to relieve the worst moments of their lives.
And every time they have heard THEM.
Many different people that were mocking them. Laughing at them. Saying disgusting things about them.
"Why this crybaby Atsushi even here? If he suffers so much, why won't he off himself?"
"Is Chuuya really a Mafioso? I mean, he is mourning the death of the Flags. Aren't mobsters supposed to be cold and emotionless?"
"Ha! Think, what you want, but Oda's dub in this scene make brats' death hilarious."
"I think that Yosano's backstory should be more tragic. Right now it's bland. Her favorite solder killed himself and called her an Angel of Death. It would be better, if Mori was..."
"OH NO! The Clown is alive! Why?! Just Why?! He is a stupid character!"
Comment. After comment. After comment.
About how terrible they are. How useless they are.
How real people wish that BSD cast suffer.
Cursing them for having similar names with some other people from their world.
And now, they did something with them.
All BSD characters feel pain. Someone was tearing them apart. Someone was trying to drown them.
And they can't do anything to protect themselves.
And then another Kitsunebi¹ appeared.
This one was purple.
So, real people decide to end them.
No one from BSD Cast has power to fight. They were waiting for their end.
"Well, I have everything I need. Let's start with the first volume..."
_________
This one was healing them...
BSD characters feel, how their bodies wasn't sore anymore. How they're getting their strength back.
For three nights, Purple Light was taking care of them.
And talking...
"Okay, this goes here... Here we go, good as knew."
"Wow, this page will be beautiful again, when I finish with it."
"I can't wait to read BSD from the beginning. It must be wonderful. Anime was good."
BSD cast were confused. You...
Why this one was different? Was that a trick? Are they going to curse them?
The time reset again. Time to relive their lives. Again.
_________
In Bungou Stray Dogs World. Nowadays
________
"Our Dear [Y/N] are opening the App! Everybody ready?" called Yosano, finishing adding another ten power up materials in her present to you today.
The choir of "yes" was an answer to her.
No one can tell, that two months ago they all were broken and could barely stand.
Dear [Y/N], their precious Guiding Light, saved them.
Not even once they say something hateful about anyone of them. There was only love and understanding. And warmth. Warmth of a child who loved them unconditionally.
All of them cherished [Y/N]. Because they were the only one, who saw, what a great child [Y/N] were.
When they got access to [Y/N]'s phone, they heard it all.
Bullies. Relatives. Siblings. Parents.
Their comments. Their hate, that was aimed at [Y/N]. A defenseless, innocent child.
BSD Cast hate [Y/N]'s family. For what they are doing to them. And for what they have done to characters themselves.
Soon they will be in Real world. They will save Their Dear Guiding Light.
But, before that, they need to punish everyone, who wronged [Y/N].
The Portal was almost ready.
They only need to wait until Midnight.
_________
In real world
_________
You spend an hour playing BSD Mayoi. You got many notes from characters. They were cheering for you. They mentioned that they love you.
You were happier, than before.
At least someone was glad, that you exist.
You hopped that one day you will escape from your family. And find a real family and friends.
You looked at the clock.
Almost 11 pm. You need to go to bed.
Dozing off, you hear, that storm has begun. Raindrops start falling down from the sky.
_________
At the midnight, your phone start glowing white.
The lightning struck.
White light fill all rooms in your house.
When it faded, the house was empty.
And pages of your BSD books start glowing white.
_______
Time resets.
Fukuzawa Yukichi was a thirty-two years old bodyguard again. His client died recently. But right now, he has more important things to do.
Fukuzawa Yukichi was cradling a sleeping eleven-year-old child.
And, for now, he was ignoring the four people laying on the ground at his feet.
#self-awareau#self-awarebsd#bungou stray dogs au#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd anime#bsd x gender neutral reader#gender neutral reader#yandere#platonic#familylove_less#SABSD_Familylove_less
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MARE & THE WOLVERINE ▹ Good Poison
─ Logan Howlett x fem!OC
summary: The Northern Territories were the last place Mare McAffery ever imagined herself, much less a prize fighting bar with characters the likes of the one they call the Wolverine. A logging community and living out of a Motel 6—it wasn’t exactly Shakespearean. But sometimes, survival calls for a tooth and nail fight—even for a preacher’s daughter.
warnings: AU, age gap, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, eventual romance, violence, angst, trauma, religion, self-insert, self-esteem issues, chance meetings, alcohol, grief/morning, mutual pining, falling in love, slow-ish burn, fluff and angst, canon-typical violence, virginity, reposted from my old account.
MASTERLIST| NAVIGATION | NEXT | PREVIOUS
“I’ve never met a more obsessive, religiously fanatical, irresponsible press professional in my entire career, McAffery—and I’ve been doing this thirty fucking years!”
“Told you to drop that mutant BS, McAffery—”
Blue light from her phone lights up the shadowed seat beside her, interrupting the cruel sting of thoughts lapping her brain like a pace car. Redlined and leading, her attention briefly drifts from the yellow lines of highway to the bright screen that lingers—to the text bubble with the little avatar face of who else but her mother, checking in on her for only the fiftieth time tonight.
“I’m fine, ma,” she sighs to empty space around her. A glance upward through the windshield to the night sky canvases unfamiliar constellations, stars she’s never seen this far north. Living north all her life had prepared her for a lot of, well, Canada— but not the stars. There seemed to be more of them, dancing in troops that quickened the soul. They’d been hanging in the sky for hours, now, and every time her gaze flicked up—never saw the same cluster.
Diiiing. The sound avalanches in the cab, almost. “Jeez, I’m fine, ” it’s more of a growl than anything as she reaches for the phone. Silences it. Practically tossing it to the cup holder, she shifts a little further against her seat, her ass into the three decade-old cushion just like she’d been doing for two days. Shoulders pressing back into the material of her seatback, a slight shiver races up her spine where frigid air snakes into the cab of the Jeep between gaps in soft-top canvas—irritates the hunger that’s been low simmering in her stomach since before the sun had disappeared.
A quick GPS consult and civilization is less than ten miles on her course. It promises a bar, a Motel 6, some gas. Nothing fancy. Reading in-between trying to stay between yellow highway lines reveals that Laughlin City is a logging community, one of those let’s-film-a-cheesy-Hallmark-romance little sports that show up in romantic novels and on travel blogs. It’s quiet with a limited population, mountainside and traditional. Perfect.
Starting route to Laughlin City, you’re on the fastest route—-
“Considering I don’t see any freeways, I guess that tracks,” Frick, I’m turning into my mother talking to myself— and she had been, for two days. But that’s probably fine, better to keep herself company in the off-hours of radio. She couldn’t bear any more talk radio, didn’t have the caffeine or the patience to relive the same Shania Twain cassette tape for a twentieth time.
Sighing, her head kicks back a little against the hard headrest behind her. Brightness from the GPS route is white-hot and blinding, has Mare McAffery turning her phone screen down to the fading 90s-print material of the passenger seat. She can see the little cloud from the hard breath she lets escape from between her lips, which subliminally raises the air on her arms. Sends a stab of cold through the bones in her hands. Even with air bursting from the defrost, it’s cold. Colder here, farther north, than her family’s quiet little farmland Minnesota home for this time of year—a t-shirt had felt like a good idea this morning at the truck stop. Splashing water on her face and smiling into sunshine.
Her eyes drift to the dash clock as a hand reaches behind her to grope for the hoodie she’d abandoned. A little after 11—her time. Back home. Mare has no idea what time it is in Canada, under foreign stars and among unknown mountains. Though, really it doesn’t matter—time is a construct when you’re on the road. When you don’t really have anywhere to be in all that much of a hurry, when you’re getting out of Dodge and rethinking every strategic decision of your life.
God, what am I doing? Where are You in this? And the thought is random. Had been, for days. Quitting her job on the spot three weeks ago had felt like the move of the century, like a Neil Armstrong one-giant-leap-for-mankind on the moon type of deal. Once in a lifetime, defining. Must’ve been what the fathers of her nation felt, rising up to slay the Goliath oppressing them into submission—she’d bucked the power of corporate America, felt the sting of her whip for a final count.
There’d never been more peace, more purpose about her life than in that moment, smiling down her nose at her boss. Knowing she’d left him in the lurch, had upset his canoe. Upstream without a paddle, take that you scumsucking piece of trash. Her guts had nearly risen up to her throat with the flood of pure adrenaline. Bolstered, like a shooting star— all hot and undiscerning strength. Every disgruntled employee in the history of the working class before her, caged within her bones. Finding justice in this one act, this flight. High flying and empowered, she’d crashed through the glass ceiling—unscathed, unravished. Free.
Or so she prayed.
Reality rose up to strike her like plague, chastened and vengeful. Leaving behind ghosts and midnight phantoms to haunt her even in sleep, her fears. Disease eating away at the flesh of her life, an insatiable predator unrelenting until satisfied. Picking its teeth with the bones of her future, the unknown. Grinning at her like a subtle, close-to-the-chest demon of her own making. Tapestry of her life began to unravel, unfurled by her own bravada, her own shield of faith in the unknown. Days bled eternally into weeks. Networking spiderwebbed away in the wind, disheveled and thin. Nothing aside from Oh-honey-I’m sorry’s and though-your-qualifications-are-impressive-we-regret’ s.
Word traveled fast in rocks and cows country, not-the-Twin-Cities Minnesota. Whoever didn’t look on her with sympathy dug her grave, or threw dirt on open wounds festering with her own shame. Nobody was eager to onboard the bloodhound trailblazing young lady with starry eyes and Superman hope.
Singlehandedly she’d brought coverage of the community’s less-than-human population to hometown families and cropfarmers, faces nobody in her world desired. They’d kept the mutants at arm’s length, in the city and away from the grass that dances on the prairie; innocence of country living. Nobody wanted them in their ZIP code, their school districts—accidents raised taxes. No mayor wanted to address the subject at press conferences or on small city councils, no school board wanted funding for safe rooms or SPED. Better to lock them away in the concrete jungle of downtown, anonymous faces in a sea crying out for representation.
Disarming a population’s ignorance had been a savage fight—soul crushing and abusive. Her head had been piked in every town-gossip-over-coffee table in the entire township, her family’s name raked over the coals in the editorials. Recklessly brave, but the greater good had come at a high, not-so-good price. Expensive for an under-thirty young little thing with bright aspirations, with a family standing behind her as pillars in a crumbling, paralyzed community.
Better to turn a blind eye to the unfortunates than lend a hand likely to be bit, was the argument. Lambs to slaughter, all of her anonymous mutant sources had eviscerated from contact seemingly overnight—lost to anonymity, to the underworld of obscurity and fear.
Foolish, simpleminded. White washed tombs, dens of vipers. Disheartened —didn’t they see—?
A glance into the rearview and she’s able to make out the almost-cavernous upset digging trenches in the skin of her brow, the veil that’s overtaken once-bright eyes. All noted, even in the glare of blue light and shadows. She exhales deep and feels it, between her ribs. In, out—one, two, three; let it go, let it go let it go. That burning knot of lava that’s parked in between her shoulder blades shakes just a little, breaks apart. And for a brief moment, there’s cool relief that comes with another bite of May wind. Chases all the way down her spine, nips at her collarbones.
Her grip tightens on the wheel, highway stretched unforgiving. Mocks her, reminding her how far away she’s attempting to fly, to hide . Inky midnight fans out before her— a lover, shadowing the world beyond the headlights of the Jeep Wrangler. Promising to hide her away, in a new world. The Wrangler seems to roar, engine loud in the empty night air, humming and thunking like old horsepower does. Whether in protest or jubilation, she’s not sure. Doesn’t even know if she wants to be.
A wing and prayer. She’s left on a wing, with a prayer—it’ll carry her. To Laughlin, at least.
Tires eat pavement like a beast, thrum thrum, thrumming away underneatht the rig almost in perfect step with the rabbit heartbeat kicking in her chest. Hears every rotation of rubber against asphalt through the canvas top. Tastes the cold bite of May night seeping through gaps and vinyl windows, cooling that still-there heat between her shoulders, that ache in the back of her eyes.
Fiddling with the radio for the local news distracts her from GPS directions for a heartbeat. Almost missing the turnoff, she more forgoes the stop sign than actually misses it, engaging the clutch and brake to downshift. Skirting by the blaring scarlet of the sign, there’s no sign of headlights any direction at the four way. Except, in the distance, maybe five or so miles.
Between trees that canopy and dart in the breeze, trying to keep civilization a secret from the unsuspecting. Warring against the moon for rights to illuminate, to pierce through the veil of night—mountain peaks like dark sentinels, threatening and breathtaking in the faraway. Sits like a lion, stirring at the presence of the intruding Daniel.
Laughlin City.
“Bingo.”
Mopping droplets of sweat pearling up from between his facial hair hasn’t ever felt more like a chore than it does right now, in the flickering light of a too-late pub crawling with county lowlives and province nobodies. Every muscle burns with adrenaline that pistons through his veins like a hot steamroller, flattening any thought other than sucking air into his chest. Logan Howlett swears to God he can feel his very bronchial tubes with every pull of thick, curling air—wouldn’t be surprised if he couldn’t label every cell, working in unison to stitch him back together.
It’s a delicate dance, healing after a fight. Body goes to work even before new wounds hit home—recovering from old ones, almost anticipating where new ones will land. Takes a significant amount of energy, a high unlike any amphetamine can deliver. Hot, heavy, painful bliss. That feel-good, fuck-this-is-perfect way he’s only ever experience in one other way—and that’s cock deep, in the right woman, red lines flaming down the length of his back. It’s taken a lifetime to ignore the adrenaline, the feel good burn of flesh stitching itself piece by piece. Wounds numbing over as the body corrects. Blood cut off from oxygen, sealed behind skin and screaming behind new scars. Bones correcting from fracture, pulled together with God-perfect precision no ER could ever match. Marrow stretching, cartilage welding back together. Feeling coming back with just as much prejudice as it had when it went.
And it’s no different tonight, after a fight. Adamantium in his hands trembles, quakes with every beat of his pulse. Cold, itching with a sensation that only means one thing— air. Oxygen. Oxygen that fuels rage, that feeds the fire of release that’s a blazing furnace almost carved into the length of his spine. Bones, their marrow, they want air — crave it like demons. Flogging his soul like Christ at the crucifixion, crucifying him to the never-ending torment of holding it all together. Of balancing the line of monster and man, mortal and mutant. Ravages his will, rapes him of innocence, even in his youth. Even as a boy, even as James— he’d never had innocence. What even was purity to a man born to die but forced to live?
He’d always been this, this h eld-together-with-threadbare-stitches-of-his-own-resolve carcass aching to die. Searching to live.
And it takes will, to live. Will of the ages, hills. Steadfastness of mountains to maintain the barrier between resolution and absolution. To not let go —to deny the impulses that scream through his blood like phantoms. Even the very stones beneath his feet cry out for his blood, for justice. Justice that had been lost through time, as others pass away. As he lives. His sins fade with those in graveclothes, but they haunt him like shadows. Peaceless life, ravaged. An ever-present war that carousels about his psyche.
Don’t let go, Logan—don’t let them see you. Light a cigar. Suck in some brandy. Drown out the memories, the tombstones of everything he’s ever felt in his life rising up from buried graves and nameless mantras. It’s not for you, it’s for them. Never for you, always for them—
“—hey, you. Yeah, you— Mutton Chops. Yeah. It’s Wolverine, right?”
He would chuckle if it wasn’t so ridiculous. Mutton Chops?
Fingers scratch through the longer hairs, the corner of his mouth teases up with an amused smirk. Figures, they are a little dated. But, he enjoys them—he likes the way looks, always had. Cut a fine figure, and if he didn’t let himself know it, the women did. Been mooning over him since God knew . If he didn’t hate the attention, if he didn’t hate being seen; mingling with the echelon of the common man—-he could have any tit and skirt he wanted, most places. A few years of fucking anything that walked had lost its charm swiftly, and with gusto.
Logan had learned early that he needed very few things in life to live, to survive. Living demanded the basic essentials, and a man isn’t truly a man unless he makes his own way. Women, well—girls were a luxury . Rubies and emeralds among the silver and golds of the everyday. High prices. Precious things in the eyes of God and the male sex, to be worshiped. Certainly so, can’t argue with the Twains and Shakespeares, the Psalmists of the ages—but they weren’t necessary. Not to survive. Little delicacies to make the journey tolerable, but not necessary. Privileges never were.
“Wolverine—I’m talkin ’ to you!”
But the alias is familiar, but the voice isn’t. Logan tosses back the bite of brandy that burns all the way down, snaps his attention from the bottom of the shot glass to the guy coming up behind him. Feet heavy, he’s at least six-two, two-fifty at a glance guess. Beer gut and a bald dome, some redheaded tart from across the bar reaching to pull him back. May as well be Vegas neon. Trouble—double order, by the looks of it.
Shoulda been my middle name, “In some circles,” warmth skates into his blood, pulling at the attitude simmering at the edges of his resolve, “who’s askin’?” Fixing the edge of his shirt around the waist of his jeans, Logan ignores the instinctual twinge of pain that ricochets between his knuckles. One slip of his self control and there’s hell to pay—bloody, tastes-like-cold-steel hell.
Instead, his arms find the smooth bartop, glass hitting the bar with a crack. Logan pushes it away knuckles first, fingers tapping for another round. The bartender, he knows her as Sue—an aging sixties belle, witchy hair that’s perpetually pinned up in a clip—breezes by and snatches it away, promising him another with a hoarse, been-smoking-for-four-decades rasp. In seconds and the dark liquid spills into the shot glass, crystalline and pretty.
Logan waves her come with two fingers, easing a little deeper into his usual barstool—the barstool he’s been parked in for eight months. Rolls a shoulder. A delicious little burn of healing muscle, dissipating bruises. Common place after a fight in the cage—there’s not enough curiosity in the eyes that are watching him. And he’s counting the paces of Big Boy coming up behind him, can feel the man’s anger from here. Tangible and inbred, like he’s been sucking the tit of pissed off since toddlerhood.
The man’s huge hand is on his shoulder, jerking him back enough that it makes the barstool swivel. Logan’s spine snaps with alarm, with the initial gut punch of response. And he’s surprised with himself for a few heartbeats, that he’s chosen to shrug off the man’s arm instead of separate it from his body. A low, rumbling thunder of a growl simmering in his chest is almost animal, and he narrows a glare at the stranger.
Sweating like a stuck pig, the man’s face is red as a beet. He’s a blush from either absolutely going batshit or having a coronary—Logan isn’t sure which he’d prefer. “I lost four hundred bucks because of you, Wolverine,” the name leaves his mouth with hacking spit, on the crescendo of a trail of spit that hits the floor at Logan’s feet in a wet plop .
And for a second Logan expected Shit-For-Brain’s to continue, but he just stands there, sucking air.
“Tough luck,” Logan’s brows pop tall before furrowing into a hard line, irritation snapping his tone like a fractured bone. Palming the pocket of his leather jacket taking up space on the barstool next to him, he manages a cigar from the pocket, with the God-knew-how-old Zippo. His favorite, he’d had it since—well. He didn’t keep track of trinkets. “Long odds, I guess.”
“The fuck you say?”
He sighs. Deeply. Almost from the depths of his patience God has bestowed. “Anythin��� I can say that’ll make you vanish, bub?” Beer Belly doesn’t even flinch, except the hinge of his jaw snaps open. It could almost sway in the wind. Another sigh, “Take my word for it. Cut your losses and get Little Miss Strawberry Tart outta here—maybe she’ll cut you a deal on the way out.”
In a matter of seconds the guy’s face drops into a gape only a choking fish could probably manage, and he really isn’t that far removed with all his sticky sweat making him look like a drowned, overfat bass. He stops sucking air like an emphysemic, maybe too stupefied to remember how. Logan’s fingers flick the flint of the lighter, cigar between his teeth as it bobs into the flame. Almost immediately, the thick curl of smoke stings his nose—chases the brandy in his throat, something magnificent . Fucking delicious.
Small mercies, God bless them. Breathing in a wave of the thick, hot tobacco, it settles in the mesh of his lungs in a way that would probably kill lesser men—men who couldn’t die, anyway. He could fucking orgasm with how good this smoke burns, bleeding into his blood like good poison, and the exhale he gives may as well whip fifty pounds off the back of his shoulder. His head kicks back, brow furrowing as it cants to the side, taking in the craft of the ceiling. Brass tile— pricy . Riz didn’t strike him as a man with taste, but, stranger things. Interesting.
In a flesh of fat and hairless dome, the man’s fist is curled around the collar of Logan’s shirt—he plucks him off the stool as if he weren’t anything more than a sack of meat. Surprise drops his cigar to the floor at his feet, the toes of his boots scuffing boards—and one glance to the man’s flexed arm reveals it’s absolutely straining for Beer Belly to suspend his bodyweight in the open. The vein in his temple throbs, cheeks almost purple as he splutters for air. Spit flies. Mingles in Logan’s beard.
Revolting, but, give it a few seconds and—-
His boots find the floor heartbeats later, unphased. Logan’s turn, and it gives him great pleasure backhanding the man with his knuckles. Turning his head, saliva flying in trails of thick spit that hit somewhere he couldn’t care less about. Drive him half a step back, bring him back with his fist in tubby’s shirt—and mutant strength makes him weigh next to nothing. A little weight there, but nothing much—Logan could separate his spine from the rest of him without hesitation, thinking. Would be as easy as fileting a fat trout.
The burn in his muscles feels magical. And in three, two, one—he releases. Blood springs from between his knuckles, dribbling to the floor in fat drops. Scarlet stains adamantium, pearling along blades that all but sparkle in the perfect-low of pub lights. The burst of adrenaline immediately ravages the burn of pain, his bones all but ringing, chanting jubilation. And it feels so good, sometimes—so good to not have to hold back, to embrace the pain of living .
Milkwhite, the man’s eyes haven’t unwelded from the blades dripping with Logan’s blood as they hover a breath from the fat flesh of his double-chin. Logan can see his life flashing through his eyes, like a film reel—every man’s always does in the face of death, his face. He’s shaking, Logan’s muscle absorbs every earthquake that pulses through the man’s frame. Shakes more than most—and that says more than it would, to many. Coward’s heart. Shriveled and died before they even got a chance to respond, he’d seen it before. Always took the easy way out. Talked big, acted small. His date would have better luck with an idiot savant than a coward, if Beer Belly here wasn’t a two-for-one.
King Solomon had it right. Nothing new under the sun.
“Told you to cut your losses,” it’s a snarl. Gravelled and aged, like every time before. Less human than monster, but he likes the fear—the respect —floating up to the man’s eyes from his soul. Logan releases him roughly, sending him foot over foot towards his date, across the floor. “Take her home before you regret somethin’ else.”
Strawberry redhead is at his side, looking him over before she turns to consider Logan. She couldn’t have been more than twenty-something, too young to be running with a greaseball nobody with male pattern baldness and a Viagra problem. But tears run freely down her face all the same, as if she cares— and she probably does, because that’s the way of things. People care. It’s a human trait.
All Logan can see is her enchantment with him. She isn’t afraid. While her date may have a coward’s heart, she certainly doesn’t—no common sense, a dense head, sure. But no fear. Funny how that works.
He’d smile if he wasn’t so pissed off, tired. And she doesn’t look him in the eye—her gaze is rooted on his hand, now at his side. His blood hanging out on the floor. She blinks, only looks up at his face when the adamantium on display disappears between his fingers, sliding home in a way that echoes throughout his entire frame. Evidence of them begins to disappear as his flesh works to hide away familiar wounds, correct old sins.
Her mouth, too, gapes like a fish. Nothing new. “You’re….you’re— wow, you’re a—”
“—nobody you should care about, kid.” And that’s the long and short truth of it.
Logan watches her help—he’s discovered his name is Harold—stand to his full height. Helps him sulk into a corner chair like a whipped puppy, and even from here, the purple on his jaw is already dark. Probably broken, but there’s little to do about it.
Brushing off his arm, Logan lifted his other hand to examine it—pearls of blood. Still fresh on his skin. Evidence of their birth long since healed, he stretched his fingers before his thumb rubs between each knuckle, feeling. As if he’s never felt them before—because every time, the pain feels like it’s genesis. The beginning, new. A thrill unlike any other, in a sadistic kind of way that gives him life. Hope—that he’s still feeling.
Turning to retrieve his cigar smoldering on the floor, Logan replaces it in the corner of his mouth. Takes another full breath, sinks low onto the barstool. The sting in his hands has almost entirely dissipated into tingling numbness, and that’s good—Sue knocks his drink to a stop in front of him. Shakes her head as her eyes landscape him up and down, like they’re digging his grave. She isn’t mad, he knows that—Sue has seen him rough up more than one Tom, Dick, Harry in this place. It’s like the revolving sun—they come in. Fight the cage. They lose, get pissed, and he knocks them on their ass. Simple science, really.
Less dangerous and more dangerous all at the same damn time.
“Feel better?” Thin, vein-tracked arms fold in front of her gravity-inspired chest. Heavy laden with turquoise and other painted stones, she’s the picturesque woman of her age—all gypsy, little else. If they’d be deep south in States, Sue could be confused for a bayou witch. And, thinking about her stirring a little pot of potions and cackling on to swamp creatures would be something else entirely.
He chuckles, the mental picture amusing. Leaning forward a little on his arms, his brow peaks up a little. “Now there’s a question if I ever heard one,” his lips purse into a slow smile before he sits back, scratches his fingers through his sideburns— mutton chops, poor Harold had called them. “What do you think?”
A lesser man wouldn’t hear it, but that bottom hinge on the front door howls something terrible in the rain. Signaling another interloper in their midst, Sue’s eyes flick past him to consider the body. It lasts a heartbeat, maybe the flow of blood, before her gaze is back to him—obviously no threat. Except, her arthritic hands reaching for a towel moves her a little closer, and she nods towards the door.
“I think you’d better behave yourself,” she gestures with her chin towards the door, “new blood walkin’ in, Logan honey.” Nodding his understanding, he drags again at his cigar, then turns his head over his shoulder to eyeball the new body—- “Never seen her before. States girl, if I ever saw one,” Sue’s tongue clicks in the pocket of her cheek, “Poor thing’s wet as a drowned lizard. What she do, park half a mile away?”
Drowned lizard? “Anyone ever told you you’re somethin’ else, Sue?”
“Plenty—but don’t ask, Logan. Some things stay dead when you bury ‘em.” Her wink makes him snort, as if it’s something to joke about—and it is, really. To a man who flirts with death and defies it at every turn, nothing really surprises him anymore. The grave is little more than a calling card, and Sue knows that. Riz knows that. Everyone here knows this, but, chooses instead to look the other way—see him for what he is.
Sue’s crooking a come finger at new blood before she’s even fully parted ways with him. “Hiya, honey. C’mere, sit down—we don’t bite.” Logan raises a Really? brow at her before Sue waves him off with a flapping hand. It takes everything he has not to smile at the old woman, but instead, he swivels a little. Back to the newcomer, who’s dropping into the corner barstool, well away from him and into the shadows.
“Speak for yourself,”
Sue whirls on him and tosses the towel she’s been keeping bar with at his face. Batting it away, he downs the brandy. “Oh, hush up!” Her chin gestures across the bar, to the cage—veiled in shadows, it’s little more than a knick knack without its lights, screaming crowds and humming jukebox that gathers every night at ten. Money changing, saliva flying—it sleeps like a tired beast until he rings the dinner bell. “Well, most of us don’t bite—what’ll you have, darlin’?.”
If that wasn’t truth, well—Logan wasn’t sure what was.
tags: @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @fandomxo00
#hugh jackman#wolverine#logan howlett#logan#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x oc#wolverine x oc#x men#xmen logan#xmen wolverine#xmen#mare writes#james logan howlett#james howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#wolverine fanfiction#logan xmen
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A year ago today, I posted the first chapter on AO3 of a story called Fury.
A few months before that, I'd picked up A Court of Thorns & Roses. It was the first original work I'd read in years and when I finished Silver Flames a week later, I turned back to AO3, desperate to read more about these characters I'd fallen in love with. I couldn't find what I wanted. Feysand fic was all well and good, but there wasn't much of that, and Azriel didn't appeal to me, which ruled out...well, most of the archive.
Original character fic gets a bad rap and that's mostly because OC fic can often be an author's first foray into fandom and writing in general, making the quality hit and miss, but that's what I really wanted in the end—I wanted to read about other characters in this world and I wanted to flesh out the world itself. I had questions about Windhaven, about siphons and magic and all the things that had been mentioned and glossed over. I couldn't find fic that answered those questions. So I wrote one.
I'd written before, basically my whole life, but never finished anything. This time though, it was like something clicked in my brain. I wasn't back on Tumblr yet and I had no one to talk to about it, but I wrote and wrote and wrote. I'd been writing for months, in secret, not telling a single soul. I'd completely written both Fury and Siren, the second in the series, before ever posting a word of it.
I almost didn't write it, really. Almost didn't post it. I figured no one was going to read it with the way people look down on original character fic. But I felt compelled to write their stories, so I did—night after night. I actually think they might be the best stories I've ever written. The statistics don't reflect that, but I didn't have a storyline to follow, a framework to back me up, like I did later with Remi's Version, just a world and some characters and I'm very proud of them.
Remi's Version came after. I'd started writing it by September, but didn't start posting it until late October (that anniversary is next week) and I almost didn't write that either, because I thought maybe it was too much, too self-indulgent, too unbalanced. It's funny to think now, that I almost never wrote her at all.
I don't know why I'm writing this essay. Maybe just because it feels...some kind of way, you know? It's been a year, but that year felt like a decade, and it's been hard. Picking up ACOTAR was an act of self-preservation when I was at my lowest and Fury and Siren and everything that came after pulled me from somewhere I never want to be again.
It's been a year. My word count on AO3 is now 1,088,097. (That's like, twelve novels!). I've published 11 works. I've written a lot, I've laughed and cried and made friends with so many of you. I'm alive.
I guess I just wanted to say thanks, and to mark the milestone somehow because it feels like I've lived ten lives since October 17th, and in all of them, this was the high point. Happy Birthday, Tessa 🖤
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Decided to do this NSFW questionnaire for my four current main Tavs.
Since it's massive, I gotta do it in four (!) parts.
Part 1
What is your Tav’s sexuality/orientation preference? Crim is exclusively attracted to men. He is not put off by people of other genders in a sexual context, but there is zero attraction. Solstice can find anyone attractive, but he prefers men to be with in any meaningful way. Zaphir can't think of anything less important than gender or parts, but he has had his better experiences with men and prefers them.
What are their biggest ‘NOs’ they will never consider doing during sex? Crim: ravishment or any other activity that combines sex with coercive aggression Solstice: being 'mean' aka humiliation, degradation, punishments, whether through words or actions, even if it's just pretending Zaphir: used to not have any specific ones, but due to recent developments, mind control, whether real or pretend, is now a hard no.
Are they a Top/Bottom/Switch? Crim: Tops from the Bottom by telling you exactly what he wants you to do to him and you're gonna like it Solstice: Complete Service Top, there is nothing better than doing your favourite things that will make you lose it for you Zaphir: A Switch in the sense that he doesn't care about his position as long as he gets off
Favorite Position? Crim: All of them, but being horizontal is nearly always better than vertical. Solstice: Anything that has him being able to see his partner's face is chef's kiss. Zaphir: He likes riding a guy a lot.
Do they prefer giving or receiving? Crim: Receiving, hands down. Solstice: Giving, hands down. Zaphir: Receiving, it's just more practical and easy.
Tits or Ass? Crim: Tits are great, he likes to put his face in. Solstice: Okay, if he were forced at gunpoint to NOT say face or mouth… ass is fine. Zaphir: He quite appreciates a nice tight ass. Novel: He likes a nice tiddy alright.
How experienced is your Tav? Crim: So-so… he has tried a lot of things at least once in the span of about a year. He knows what he wants, but he doesn't know much about the variety that comes with varied partners. Solstice is at once more and less experienced than he has any right to be… he has done everything you can think of (and probably a few things you can't) at least once, he has had the time to explore many of them very thoroughly, and he has put a lot of thought and care into it all. … but all of it with one person, over a century ago. Zaphir: Pretty experienced, he has had countless partners, paid and not. Novel: He has barely done anything at all yet that's why he isn't in most of these answers =B
Do they have any traumas around sex? Crim: Not at all, at least as far as he knows. Solstice: He's had some minor mishaps in the past due to his physical strength that have left him a little overly-cautious in the present, but nothing bad enough to call trauma. Zaphir: No, but he is basically living with ongoing trauma that does heavily colour his sex life as well.
Do they have any taboo kinks? Crim: Nope, his most daring kink is Halsin's shapeshifting. Solstice: No, he's honestly quite tame as far as kinks go. Zaphir: He doesn't have time for kinks in the first place.
Would they want a polyamorous relationship? Crim: You better believe he does, he's in one. Solstice: I can't just do the PotC quote again… Zaphir: He got jumpscared by the 'amorous relationship' part and roundhouse-kicked it. Novel: He thinks that sounds fun to try out.
How do they feel about voyeurism? And would they do it? Crim: He doesn't really get much out of doing it, but being the subject of it is pretty hot. Solstice: Loves to watch, and doesn't mind being watched. Zaphir: Why the hell would he watch someone else fuck, who the hell would want to watch him fuck. Novel: Sounds exciting!
How big is your Tav’s sex drive? Crim: Yes. Solstice: God yes. Zaphir: Bigger than he'd like to be. Novel: He's starting to get a lil pent up, to be really honest…
How many rounds can they last? Crim: Yes. Solstice: However many his partner wants, he's a healer, he can make it work. Zaphir: Generally one or two… not for lack of stamina but because he gets antsy after a while Novel: Let's be real, probably one for now.
#Ten plays BG3#Ten's OCs#Ten's OCs: Crim#Ten's OCs: Solstice#Ten's OCs: Zaphir#Ten's OCs: Novel#bg3 sextionnaire
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Her || Charles
Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff Story type: novel Part: 20/? Word count: 2858 Co writer: @mistrose23
Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?
Previous chapter
Chapter 18. Statement
"Buongiorno," Charles greeted his colleagues when he entered the engineer's truck. His eyes scanned the people who had already sat on their spots. He missed one person, but she must be getting some tea or coffee.
His colleagues greeted him back. Charles sat down in his designated spot next to Matilde, who usually would sit at the head of the long table. It would give her an overview of the team. Charles noticed how her seat was untouched, her notebook and laptop weren't there, just like the tangerine she always ate every morning. It had only happened once that she was late and that was on her first day. It became normal to arrive and see Matilde already sitting there. She was the first to arrive and the last to leave.
Carlos entered the room. "Sorry for being late. There are so many fans out there," he apologised. He sat down across from Charles. He looked at Matilde's spot. "Where's Matilde?" He was surprised.
"Late," an engineer replied.
"Oh. Weird."
Even though the meeting had to begin when Carlos entered the room, people were still busy with preparations. Some didn't mind having a few extra minutes, but it was unusual.
Ten minutes had passed the designated starting time and Matilde was still nowhere to be seen. Members started to exchange puzzled glances. Even if Matildle was a minute late, she would tell someone about it. Her being ten minutes late already, was not right.
"Did someone try to call Matilde yet?" one of the engineers finally suggested.
"I already tried. No answer," someone else answered.
"And Galileo? Did someone try to contact him?"
"Shouldn't we just begin? We need to get this done before we run out of time."
"No, let's just wait for a bit longer. She must be on her way," another voice chimed in, hope lingering in the words.
"I texted Galileo," someone else mentioned.
Just seconds after that, Galileo and Silvia entered the room. Their presence alone was enough to signal that something was amiss. The usual smiles were absent, replaced by expressions of concern. They were never at a briefing like this.
"Can I get everyone's attention, please," Galileo's voice cut through the room, making sure everyone stopped with whatever they were doing. He took a moment to survey the room. "As you have noticed, we are missing the team principal today. Matilde will not be present today, tomorrow, and Sunday," he announced, causing eyebrows to raise in collective surprise. She had never missed one day of work.
A murmur of questions and confusion rippled through the room. Carlos, unable to contain his worry, spoke up first. "What? Why? What happened?"
"We are only allowed to share with the team that Matilde is hospitalised for a personal reason," Galileo responded somberly.
More questions were being asked about the situation.
"Her family has kindly requested that we not contact Matilde until she reaches out to us herself. We will not have a replacement for this weekend, so we must do it together."
Silvia nodded in agreement, her usual vibrant energy subdued. "We will publish a statement in a moment, written by Matilde's family. Charles and Carlos, when talking to the media or someone else who asks about it, you will say she will not be here at the track until further explanation. There will probably get some fuzz around it, let them be, but don't say anything about the hospital. Galileo and I are informed about the situation, but the media doesn't have to know it yet. They asked not to share it because they are still waiting on some results and do not want to share it yet. But do know that she is fine and not in a life-threatening situation. It is a private matter and for you, a team matter. For your further information, Christian Horner and Toto Wolff were there when it happened, but they have also been requested not to share anything with anyone. For now, that is all we know and all we can share. When we get an update, you will be the first to know about it. For questions about it, you know where to find me."
A sense of collective shock settled over the room, the usual camaraderie replaced by an atmosphere of uncertainty. The team members were left with more questions than answers, their concern for Matilde was palpable.
"May I ask why Matilde's family is in control of all the communications? Just curious to know..." one team member ventured, voicing the questions that echoed in the minds of many.
Silvia exchanged a glance with Galileo before responding. "Matilde's family is handling the situation because they value their privacy, and we respect that. Matilde's brother is a press officer and will be dealing with this for now. Let's focus on the tasks at hand and wish Matilde a swift recovery. Updates will follow when we have them."
"We do have a card, so if you would like to write something down, please, do it," Galileo mentioned and gave a massive 'Get Well Soon' card to Charles.
"Can it be stress?" Charles worriedly asked. He knew he had created a lot of fuzz and stress last week. He was worried this could be his fault.
"That's something we cannot share, Charles," Silvia weakly smiled.
He silently gasped for air; he had caused this. Fear flickered in his eyes. "Okay," Charles mumbled and opened the card. As he grabbed a pen, his mind became blank. He stared at the empty card, processing the situation.
The room fell into a contemplative silence, the weight of the unknown casting a shadow over what should have been a routine morning briefing. The Silverstone weekend had begun under a cloud of uncertainty, and the Scuderia Ferrari team found themselves navigating uncharted territory without their leader.
- press statement -
Official Statement from the Family of Matilde Jørgensen and Scuderia Ferrari
Dear Scuderia Ferrari and Formula 1 Fans,
We want to inform you that Matilde has been admitted to the hospital for a medical concern that requires some attention. We want to assure everyone that she is currently stable and receiving the necessary medical care. We understand the desire for more details, but we kindly request your understanding and respect for our family's privacy during this sensitive time.
At this time, Matilde needs some space for rest and recovery. Consequently, she will not be present for the upcoming weekend, and we appreciate your understanding regarding her absence. The medical team is taking good care of her, and we are hopeful for a swift and smooth recovery.
As always, we are grateful for Matilde's support and love from the Ferrari family, the Formula 1 community, and fans worldwide. We kindly request respect for our privacy during this period and will keep you updated as necessary.
Thank you for your understanding and warm wishes.
Sincerely,
The Jørgensen Family and Scuderia Ferrari
* * *
It didn't stay unnoticed that there was one team principal missing during the Friday at Silverstone. The news travelled fast through the paddock and beyond. As the morning unfolded, whispers of concern reverberated through the media centre, press rooms and social media platforms. The press release from the family and team confirmed some of the rumours, and photos and videos that were taken last evening - a few fans spotted the rushing ambulance leaving the paddock in the evening, causing so many rumours - but it was Matilde who was taken to the hospital.
Reports were exchanging speculative theories about Matilde's sudden absence. Twitter and other social media channels became flooded with questions and speculation because the statement provided minimal details. It confirmed her hospitalisation, but left the reason shrouded in mystery. Fans and media were craving information about the young team principal. The lack of information became a breeding ground for rumours and speculation.
The week began with all its focus on the huge sporting event in the weekend, but it quickly shifted to the missing and hospitalised team principal.
The whispers and speculations reached a crescendo when fans began piecing together the timeline of events. Fans witnessed the fallout back in Spielberg last weekend, could that be a reason for the absence? The realisation that Matilde was taken from the track to the hospital stirred a wave of anxiety among the Ferrari faithful. Concerned messages flooded the team's social media accounts, asking for updates and offering words of support.
The team was just as affected as the fans were. The first free practice was full of mistakes, especially by Charles. He was distracted and that was noticeable; messy mistakes in the corners, delayed reactions and the times were off. He blamed himself for Matilde's absence and it weighed heavily on his shoulders. He had been a pain in the arse to her, he gave her a hard time. What if he went too far?
Throughout the entire day, he kept reading the speculations on social media. He didn't know what kind of impact it had on the fans, but it was probably caused by the not-saying-much press release.
Tweets:
"MATILDE IS HOSPITALISED??? WHAT HAPPENED TO HER???"
"Just heard a theory about Matilde's absence at Silverstone - some say it might be stress-related burnout. Hoping for her speedy recovery!!!"
"Heard some dark whispers about Matilde leaving due to internal team clashes. It might be the reason why Matilde collapsed during the team principal's meeting. Hope it's just wild speculation!"
"Ferrari is no good to their team principles. Maybe Matilde collapsed due to all the fights within the team. Everyone does what they want to do in the team. What is going on?!"
Nobody in the team was aware of a sudden departure, but to Charles, it kinda wouldn't be a surprise after the way everyone treated her, including him. Gossip travelled fast through the paddock and over the internet, just like wild theories.
However, the day continued and Charles still had to see the media after the free practices.
"Charles, tough day out there on the track. Can you walk us through your day and the challenges you faced?" F1TV asked.
"Yeah, it was a bit of a tricky one today. We struggled a bit with the balance of the car during the first practice. We were trying some new setups, and it didn't go as smoothly as we hoped." Charles honestly replied and looked around while talking, he never looked the interviewer in the eyes during the interview. "The car felt a bit unpredictable, especially through the high-speed corners. But we have collected enough data, so we will work on it."
The interviewer nodded. "We saw during the second practice that you improved some runs. It seemed like you had it under control."
"Yes, we made some adjustments and it did feel better, but we're still not where we want to be," Charles replied. He was glad the man was only asking about the practices. It felt like he finally could answer properly and think about something else. "We are working hard to analyse the data and find some solutions for tomorrow, for qualifying, and of course, for Sunday." He showed a brief, but promising smile.
"The world is all thinking of Matilde's absence, did it have any impact on the team's performances today?"
Cheered too soon. "Well, it's certainly a bit different not having Matilde around. We all miss her, and I think it's been a bit of a challenge for everyone."
"Fans are speculating about Matilde's situation. Some say it's a reaction to your clash last week in Spielberg, that it caused her to be overstressed and perhaps even burnout. We've seen quite some moments that didn't go smoothly between her and the team. Do you have anything to say to that?"
Charles took a deep breath, recollecting his thoughts. "Uh... I wish I could provide more information, but honestly, I don't have my details. Matilde's family and the team have asked for privacy, and we respect that. All I can say is that we're sending our best wishes her way, and we hope to have her back with us soon," he replied. It was a scripted response, he had to learn that from Silvia and so far, it worked well. "But," he said before the reporter would ask his next question. Charles wanted to share that they made it up. He didn't have the chance to say it to anyone. "About the situation in Spielberg, we talked about it, and we're fine. I also spoke to Carlos and Max, we're all fine now. It was an unfortunate moment, and I'm not proud of it, but we have to look ahead of us, not behind us."
"Thank you for sharing this, Charles. We wish Matilde the best, and we hope to see her soon again."
"Thank you," Charles nodded and returned to the Ferrari hospitality.
"You didn't have to say the last part," the press officer mentioned.
"I wanted to."
The entire team made themselves ready for the debrief again. The engineers were already sharing some points with each other, others were enjoying an espresso, and some people were scrolling through special media.
"Guys," one of the engineers said. "There's a tweet going around that Matilde collapsed due to an addiction issue."
Silence fell in the room, and looks were shared. It was like someone pressed the pause button, no one was moving or saying anything.
"I heard a reporter say that the hospitalisation is linked to high blood pressure due to an unconfirmed pregnancy," someone else added.
Charles sat down on his chair, he was lost in the sea of rumours, the uncertainty gnawing at him.
One of the engineers noticed the unease in the room and took charge. "Alright, people, let's focus. For whatever reason Matilde is hospitalised, it still doesn't change the fact that we will support her. Whatever is circulating out there, is just speculation. We will hear from her once she is ready. But we have a job to do, and that's what we'll do now."
Everyone shifted their attention back to the technical details, the debriefing starting, but Charles remained distracted. The rumours circulating about Matilde's conduction were like a storm in his mind, each one more unsettling than the last. As the debrief continued, Charles had ups and downs regarding his concentration. When he needed to be focused, he was focused, but when it wasn't about him, his mind drifted away.
Luckily for Charles, the debrief came to an end quickly. He had to find Max, perhaps he knew something more about Matilde. He walked to the Red Bull's hospitality like he had one goal and one goal only.
"What are you doing here?" Max confusedly asked, he was walking around with his dinner, trying to find a spot to eat.
"Matilde... Do you know if she's okay?"
Max glanced around, making sure no one was in earshot. He signed to Charles that he could enter the cafeteria. They sat down in the corner of the area, where they had some privacy. "I don't have all the details, mate. But from what I've heard, it's serious enough that they're keeping it all under wraps. Toto and Christian were there when it happened, but even they are tight-lipped."
"But you are close to her..."
"I tried to call her, but her brother picked up the phone, not giving much information."
Charles felt a lump in his throat. "What do you think happened?"
"No idea. But you know Matilde, she's tough. She'll pull through."
Charles nodded, trying to hide the worry etched on his face. "But all those rumours," he breathed. "Stress, burnout, depression, clashes in the team. Maybe I'm the cause, maybe I pushed her to the limit and now she collapsed because I am a dickhead. And the rumours about an addiction, or unconfirmed pregnancy. I even heard that she had a miscarriage because of the stress I give her." He looked and sounded hopeless, a side Max hadn't seen of him yet.
"Don't blame yourself for things you don't know," Max replied.
"I just can't shake off this feeling that I could've done something differently."
"We all have those moments. But right now, she needs our support. If there's anything you can do, it's to stay focused on the race, keep the team together, and give her the strength she needs when she comes back."
Charles looked at Max, making eye contact, his eyes reflecting a mix of gratitude and distress. "I hope she comes back."
"She will." Max observed Charles' body language. Charles had a hard time hiding his emotions, and the situation was taking a personal toll on him. Max could see that Charles genuinely cared about Matilde, and the worry for her well-being weighed heavily on his shoulders. It was a stupid thought, but perhaps that was the reason why Charles couldn't get along with Matilde.
"You care about her, don't you?" Max asked, his tone gentle.
Charles sighed, not attempting to mask his emotions. "Yeah, I do," he whispered, running his hand through his hair. "More than I probably should, given our position. She's my team principal. The entire team is, was, shocked, but they can handle it. I...I just can't stop thinking about the things I've done to her."
"She'll be fine. And none of this is your fault."
Next chapter
Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @crashingwavesofeuphoria@maryvibess @chocolatefartstrawberry @snzleclerc
#charles leclerc#f1#formula 1#ferrari#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#max verstappen#kevin magnussen#fanfic#motorsports#formula one#charles leclerc x oc#fluff#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc fluff#scuderia ferrari#Charles Leclerc fanfic#Charles Leclerc fanfiction#formula 1 fanfic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 fanfiction#f1 fic#charles leclerc imagine
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Best and Worst of both Worlds (part 1)
Tw: yandere oc guy, but i dont think this chapter shown that yet, but readers a fuckin stalker loser this time, university horrors
Okay guys so this story im literally pitting Yves and Montgomery together, gonna be a little slow burn but we r gonna get 2 da conflict like eventually
Also da settting in university cuase its da most relevant 2 me 💯
Enjouy
PART 2
He's so beautiful and ethereal. The man has been plaguing your mind for the entire week, you're being distracted from your assignments just because of this unbelievably gorgeous man with silky, long hair and dressed to the tens.
You grinded your teeth and scratched your skin, you know where he frequents. The university's library. And you obviously want to get closer to him after he caught you from falling. You slipped on a sheet of paper that you dropped and this mysterious stranger was there to catch you by the waist before your body could make any devastating impact. Unfortunately, your stacks of textbooks and other miscellaneous documents were scattered to the ground.
"Are you alright?" He asked, his voice was smooth and pleasant with a unique, suave accent to it.
You were reduced to a nervous, stuttery mess. He gently brought you back up to your feet, he helped you gather your things and even arranged it by size and weight, so that it would be less likely for it to topple over. The man took a further step to smoothen the frizzles of your hair, fix your collar and sleeves. He even zipped your backpack up, you were unaware that it was open in the first place, adding to your embarrassment. You couldn't really push him away because your arms are occupied with your belongings.
It was hard to look into those stunning emerald eyes without flustering yourself even further, so you looked away while you stammered a "thanks" to him.
"Be careful." He said as he tilted your head by the chin to make direct eye contact. You know that you're as red as a tomato, but he didn't comment on it. The man lets you go before walking away, he fixed the handles of his luxury bag on his shoulder. Luscious curls bouncing with every step.
You felt like you wanted to explode right there and then, it took you a while to regain composure, other university personnel wondering why you're just standing in the middle of the path like that. Aren't you tired of holding all that stuff? It looked heavy.
You were snapped back into your senses when someone who you assumed had a bad day, told you to get out of the way. You scurried along the traffic, having the incident fresh in your mind.
You wonder who that man is, a student? A professor? A staff member?
You came to know that he's in the library for a few hours every weekday afternoons. He doesn't have a particular spot, the mystique spontaneously appears in random but fairly secluded reading spots in the library.
You felt like a stalker, but that's what you are. Too shy and afraid to talk to him, yet content with watching from afar. His ears are covered by his hair, so you don't know if he had any earbuds in. Fuelling your hesitance to make any contact first.
He could be reading a thick novel, handwriting something down on his notebook, or he could be typing away on his sleek, black laptop. In either instances, you have no idea what he's doing, it's either in a foreign language, full of numbers or completely made up of technical jargon.
You don't know why you're doing this instead of studying for your midterms. You're never like this to any of your crushes, not this obsessive over a real person, so why now? What compelled you to become this... creep? It's like you can't stop. You're scared of rejection but you can't get rid of the butterflies in your stomach.
You had no one to talk to about it because university is a very lonely place. At least, for personality types like you. You didn't want to bother your other friends, they have their own problems to worry about.
It reaches a point that you tried following him out of the library, wondering where he will go next. Before you could step past the automatic sliding doors, you looked at the book in your hand.
'Wait a minute, this is fucked up.' You thought to yourself. This isn't like you, exams are in spitting distance and you're subjecting this poor person to this harassment just because of a singular interaction.
You made a 180⁰ turn and marched back to your all-time favourite seat. Which happened to be occupied by the stranger earlier, maybe that made you a little peeved because you "claimed" it first at the start of the year. But he took it for the day.
To your surprise, there lies his notebook on the ground. He must have accidentally left it. You picked it up and looked around to make sure the coast was clear, then you flipped through it.
You were blasted with numericals, diagrams, words you weren't sure if it was written in English or otherwise and even floorplans of a building of some sort. You couldn't understand anything.
"Excuse me."
You whipped your head to the whisper. It was him! Your blood ran cold as he caught you snooping through his item. You opened your mouth, but no sound came out.
You struggled to form a coherent sentence as you pointed at it, you're done for, you're going to be confirmed a creep. But he only watched you with the utmost patience.
There came a point where you gave up, placed the closed book on the table and pushed it towards him.
Luckily though, you didn't have to say another word.
"You found my notebook. How careless of me to have dropped it." He pulled a chair opposite of you and sat down. You watch him place his handbag on another chair.
He elegantly picked the journal up and slid it into his bag. You were sweating at this point, the dread is about to make you vomit on him and that's not great. You wished that he would go away now, but seeing that he's locked onto his seat, it's highly unlikely.
You prayed hard for it though, he finished his business for the day. There shouldn't be any reason for him to linger.
"Thank you for keeping it safe. I hope you found whatever it is you were seeking from me." He continued, crossing his legs and resting his hands on the table.
What.
You asked what he meant by that.
A teasing smile made its way to his rouge lips.
"You were watching me." You grew pale and you scrambled to explain yourself, but he raised his index finger to signal you to let him continue.
"Your tact could be improved upon; I could see you trying to hide behind the shelves, I could hear you mumbling to yourself, and you shouldn't think so lowly of yourself." He propped his head up on one elbow.
Your cheeks felt hot. That is true, you were berating yourself for being too wimpy to go ahead and talk to him. You just didn't think you were that loud.
"I would have enjoyed having a chat with you. I wouldn't have thought that you were-- and in your own words, a 'creepy, loser-freak'."
Oh. He heard that too. You wish that you could disappear this instant.
"I'm flattered that you thought highly of me. However, I was disappointed that you thought that I was intimidating." He pouted playfully. "I won't bite." He twirls a lock of his hair around his fingers.
Your nerves are frazzled as he leans in. You didn't know what to say or what to do. He seemingly picks up on that and continues leading the conversation.
"Let's start with names. Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine." You felt his shoe brush against your leg.
You almost forgot your own name as you watch the bead of sweat drip down your nose in horror. He must think you're a stinky slob.
But all he does is stare straight into your soul while drumming his fingers against the table.
You told him your name, with a severe stutter. Each passing second felt like a serrated knife slicing through your flesh.
He repeated it, syllables rolling through his tongue wonderfully. He pronounced it correctly on the first try despite your cripplingly anxious enunciation.
"Yves." He replied. Finally, you have his name. You're totally not going to use that to dig for more information on him.
"You have a beautiful name." He complimented.
You nervously returned the compliment and let out an awkward laugh. Trying your best to ignore the growing sweat stain between your pits.
"How charming of you, (name)." He stood up and pushed his chair back under the table. Yves collected his bag and turned his attention back to you.
"I'd love to talk longer, but I must go now. I believe you have an exam to prepare for. Best begin your revision now, I hope our brief conversation has helped to quell your worries."
...and you mumbled that part about yourself too. It's pretty safe to assume he heard all your thoughts.
Yves extended a manicured hand to you. Taking this as a clear request for a handshake, you accepted it.
Only for him to bring it up to his lips, tenderly and fleetingly kissing your knuckles. This entire time, his piercing gaze never left your eyes.
You wanted to claw yourself out of your flesh and die out of embarrassment.
"Study well."
He lets your hand down and presses it momentarily with his larger ones.
You watched him saunter away with his back turned against you.
You brought the back of your palm to your sight.
There is a faint, reddish tint on it. It must have been from his lipstick.
You're not sure if you ever want to wash your hand after this.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere male#yandere concept#tw yandere#yandere x you#yandere oc x reader#male yandere oc x reader#oc yves#oc montgomery
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The Factory Files: A Mascot Horror Series . . .
[ 16+ Blog for Gore & Violence — Minors Proceed at your own risk I will not be liable to your choices/actions this is your only warning — No DM’s ESPECIALLY under 18 — Comments / Likes / Reblogs / Asks are Welcome ]
Factory Files Vol. 1-5
Five Nights Before Dawn / Echoed Escape / Infected Within: Breached Archives / Radio Waves / Circus Row
Vol. 1 / Vol. 2 / Vol. 3 / Vol. 4 / Vol. 5
(More info listed in each description, these are the cover arts for each volume)
Series Synopsis . . .
A ten year passion project that has been carefully cared for and curated for the enjoyment of each fandom. An epic story that features the Five Nights at Freddy’s Franchise, Poppy Playtime, My Friendly Neighborhood, and Indigo Park.
Drawing from the lore we hold so dear to our hearts in order to create an epic tale of murder, grief, revenge, and most importantly love. Illustrated and written by yours truly, join me on my adventure as I attempt to write hopefully one of the best crossover fan fictions of all time!
About the Story:
Hello, hello! My name’s @cookiecrumbles52 and welcome to the Factory Files Blog! Down below will be all of the links to our most important posts. Please feel free to leave a like and a comment if you enjoy what you see!
🐻 🐰 🐤 🦊 ☎️
I’ve been working on “Five Nights Before Dawn” since I joined the FNaF’s fandom in middle school. Back then there were a million names and a million ideas that never made it past the notes app on my phone. And really over time it became something amazing when I had the brilliant idea to make a Crossover Au with not one, but three other mascot horror games.
In an attempt to get myself to actually write the dang thing I’ve created this blog to get the hype going as I know many of you fans have been dying for some new content! That being said every now and then you’ll get snippets of what’s actually being written within the descriptions of my sketches, illustrations, and overall dorky doodles.
I try to keep to a normal posting schedule but I won’t promise anything as I’m running several other art blogs, writing & illustrating my own novels, working a part time job, and really just trying to survive life. But I figured since it’s already been ten years I might as well give it another go!
I’m always open to new ideas especially for ongoing projects like Indigo Park, so if you have anything please give me a shout and maybe your ideas will make it into the story!
That being said if it wasn’t for the fanbase I don’t think I’d be typing this all out at 4:33 in the morning. Seeing what people can create out of nothing has always been inspiring to me and every year I try to better myself with what I make so I can pass on what I’ve learned onto newer fans. Keep creating, that’s all I’ve gotta say, because someone somewhere is watching whether you know it or not!
Links:
Meet the Cast
FNaF’s / Poppy Playtime / Indigo Park / My Friendly Neighborhood
Lore Bits:
FNaF’s / Poppy Playtime / Indigo Park / My Friendly Neighborhood
Polls:
Oc’s:
FNaF’s / Poppy Playtime / Indigo Park / My Friendly Neighborhood
Memes:
Story:
Vol. 1: FNBD (FNaF)
Vol. 2: Echoed Escape (Poppy Playtime)
Vol. 3: Infected Within: Breached Archives (FNaF: SB)
Vol. 4: Puppets & Parlors (MFNH)
Vol. 5: Circus Row (IP/FNaF/MFNH/PP)
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[ DO NOT REPOST, ALL ART & CONCEPTS WERE MADE BY ME — This is a FNaF’s / PoppyPlaytime / My Friendly Neiborhood / Indigo Park AU, in no way is this canon to any of the OG storylines or Lore. ]
#fnaf#five nights at freddys#poppy playtime#indigo park#my friendly neighborhood#fnaf au#poppy playtime au#indigo park au#my friendly neighborhood au#horror games#horror fiction#horror story#horror#fnaf fanart#indigo park fanart#my friendly neighborhood fanart#security breach fanart#poppy playtime fanart
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I Am What I Am (V)
A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together. But was this fate or was this a choice?
Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, Kim Mingyu × OC
Word Count - 7.3K
Warnings - guns, slight mentions of violence blood, death.
Chapter summary - Running down the dark tunnel looking for light was turning out to be a never ending loop. It wasn't like nothing was before her, rather Na bi couldn't understand what she was seeing. And more importantly, what she was feeling.
| Previous chapter | Masterlist |
Much to her surprise, when Na bi woke up the next day, it was already past noon.
She had passed out from all that exhaustion quite early last night - the muscles of her legs were still sore but the warmth of the bed and the weight of the duvet were comforting. She had forgotten to close the curtains before dozing off and now the yellow of the sun was all over the room. The trees outside were standing still as ever, birds chirped all around - The forest looked so alive, yet still felt so daunting.
Dragging herself off the bed, she closed the curtains, submerging the room into darkness before flipping the switches of the lights.
Something had changed.
Na bi walked up to the small study in the corner, eyes falling on the new contents on the table. It was her belongings - her unnecessarily thick medical textbooks, study guides, lecture notes - all her personal material from home, neatly stacked. On the shelf were her novels, magazines she liked to flip through, journals she had filled over the years. How did he manage to get these?
Even her toiletries were arranged for, neatly laid out by the sink - new bottles of her soap, shampoo, creams and serums of her night routine. In the ten minutes she took to wash up, a fresh set of clothes which, albeit she didn't change into, were laid out for her and outside, on the table was a piping a hot coffee and biscuits. Her bed had been made, the curtains were pulled back again, and the fire of the night had been put out. It was as though Changkyun had a bunch of elves working around here for him - efficient, meticulous and invisible.
Na bi sipped on her coffee as she looked through the books and papers on her table again. When Changkyun said whatever she needed would be arranged for, he kept his word - every small thing, down to drawing pencils and her favourite set of highlighters was here.
Everything except her laptop.
Na bi looked around, eyes searching for it as another realisation slowly dawned upon her. She hadn't seen her phone in very long either. Panicking slightly, she left her coffee and rummaged through the sheets of the freshly made bed - it was not there. She opened the drawers of her bedside table hurriedly, scoured the shelves and cupboards of the room, checked the bathroom, checked the closet but it was nowhere to be found. She tried to recall when she last saw it. A very faint memory told her it dropped out of her hand when she was shoved into Wonho's van.
Fuck.
She needed that phone, how was anything going to work out without it?
Na bi sank onto an ottoman, massaging her temples, her mind behind it racing. She wasn't prepared for this. She hadn't expected things to be in motion so soon; screw Mingyu for not so much as warning her before putting their plan to action. But now it was too late to curse him - she was already in the middle of it all and she had to figure it out on her own, there was no other way.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed her hair back, pulling it into a tight ponytail, something she rarely ever did. Leaving her half empty coffee cup on the table, she stuffed two biscuits in her mouth for some sugar and slowly opened the door of her bedroom. If she was going to crack Changkyun's empire, his house would be the first place to begin.
When Na bi stepped into the familiar corridor, she found herself alone again, a chill running down her spine. It wasn't eerie or haunting in anyway, but the thought of just what she might discover in this inhabitation was terrifying her already. Cautiously, she began walking further down the corridor, doors of two rooms coming into her view - one she assumed was the second guest bedroom Changkyun mentioned and the other was perhaps his own. Surely if there was any place in this house that could give her a clue, it had to be his room.
Opening the first door on her way, Na bi immediately concluded it to be a guest room for the layout was unmistakably, exactly the same as hers - the colour of the walls, the sheets, the furniture, all of it. Except the view from the window. From the left most corner, Na bi caught sight of a sliver of the beach she saw yesterday. So it wasn't a mirage conjured by her exhaustion or a figment of her imagination.....
Gulping at the possibilities, she slowly left, proceeding to the next room, only to find it locked shut. She tried the handle a few times, with both force and technique but neither could open it. Stepping back she glanced at the walls that spanned on either sides of it. It had to be a huge room, which meant it most definitely was Changkyun’s but clearly, neither was he home, nor was anything about him accessible to her.
Na bi though, wasn't one to accept defeat. Besides, how hard could it be to break into a room? One bobbypin and she could have easily found her way in. And perhaps she would have too if she didn't hear the strange sounds of clanking metal from a distance. Frowning, she turned, walking towards the source, trying to locate it. Softly she whispered Changkyun's name, guessing it was him and instantly, the noise stopped. And so did Na bi.
After a long silence and a long period of immobility, Na bi finally took another daring step ahead, the living space downstairs slowly coming into view. It was just as empty as yesterday, only more harshly lit by the afternoon sun. It looked just as beautiful though, she observed as she walked down the stairs, looking around. Changkyun was definitely a man of strange taste but she didn't expect to find herself in approval of it. Except those ceiling high windows. Those still made her stomach churn with discomfort.
When Na bi managed to make it all the way down to the last step, she stumbled, noticing a door she hadn't really seen before. The walls felt warm and she could hear the sound of firewood crackling from the other side. Wondering if that was the source of the noise, she knocked softly before grabbing the handle and pushing the door, only to feel a hand rest on her shoulder.
"Is there something I can help you with?"
Na bi bit back a scream, turning to meet the eyes of a woman almost a whole head smaller than her, looking at her fiercely. Her salt and pepper hair was neatly pulled back into a bun, and with her cute little pink apron and half moon glasses, one would think she was a sweet old lady, but the sharpness of her tone told Na bi otherwise.
"I'm...I'm looking for Changkyun." Na bi watched the woman physically wince at the mention of his name. "Where is he?"
"Master's not home." Master? She wiped her hands on her apron before walking past her and closed the door loudly. The point had been made. "If you there's something you need, you can ask me."
"Is this Changkyun's room?"
The woman raised an eyebrow. "Yes, it is."
Na bi's eyes flickered between her and the room. What was in there? And if this was his room, who did the room upstairs belong to? And why was it locked?
"Wait, wait." She rushed as the older woman began walking away, following her footsteps. "Where's Changkyun?"
"Master is a busy man." She huffed. "He comes and goes as he pleases-"
"Goes where?"
"He doesn't inform me about his whereabouts."
"When does he usually come back?"
"Whenever he decides to."
"When is that usually-"
"Ms. Baek," Na bi's lips parted in surprise at the mention of her name. And at the faint but apparent annoyance in the woman's voice. "I do not concern myself with master's business and frankly, neither should you. But if your curiosity cannot handle the ignorance then I suggest you ask him yourself, whenever he's back."
And with that, she walked off into the kitchen across, a lot faster than before. Na bi stood in the middle of the hall, staring at a loss.
There's a lot you need to learn about this place Ms. Baek.
Indeed there was. The rooms of this house were just the beginning of things. If she was to be successful in her mission, she needed to know all that was there to know. She had to unravel Changkyun’s world down to the core and she had to do it without letting him get even the faintest idea as to why she was here - that would ruin everything. So right now, what Na bi most desperately needed..... was a friend.
She turned to look at the only other person she had seen here, standing behind the kitchen island, mixing soup in a pot, cutting up some greens and putting something into an oven, all simultaneously. She was perfectly efficient, timing her moves just right, smoothly executing her tasks. She looked not too old, perhaps in her mid fifties, crowsfeet aligned by her eyes which were somewhat soft under all that snappy exterior. If Na bi made the right moves, she knew she could break through that hard perosona of hers and make a potential ally. Only problem was, Na bi had no idea how to make friends.
Silently going back to her room, she threw herself on the bed and stared at the grey ceiling. Her whole life, much to the contrary of what most people believed, Na bi was quite the loner. She rarely went to team dinners, never joined them on karaoke nights and barely ever participated in birthdays or other celebrations. She wasn't hostile to people or unfriendly, no; she just didn't have the time and energy to engage in social niceties. She had cordial relationships with her colleagues and neighbours but that was about it. Seokmin was the only exception in her rather isolated life.
Two years ago, when she first joined the hospital, he too was just like everyone else, a mere acquitance. Somehow, over time, he warmed up to her and honestly, rather insistently inserted himself into her life. Thank god for him though. Na bi didn't know what she would do without that crazy guy who somehow always there when she needed him (which wasn't very often), who always tolerated her rather unbothered attitude (which was very often) and who would always look out for her, no questions asked.
Even though Mingyu had asked her not to inform a soul about her mission, she regretted not telling Seokmin about everything. He was probably worried by her lack of response, but hopefully, he just assumed her radio silence to be just one of her usual unsociable moods - she often ignored him over the weekends and holiday season, knowing he would attempt to set her up with one of his many, many friends.
But Na bi wasn't the kind to date either. Dating apps were completely out of question - they demanded way too much time and commitment. Over time, she disliked meeting the people Seokmin or her other colleagues set her up with too; it was just hours and hours of talking leading to nowhere. Can a person really be understood over a meal and a conversation held specifically in order to impress? It didn't make any sense to her.
Rather, she preferred her not-so-regular-but-quite-frequent rendezvous - Flirting with men at the bar, hooking up at the convenience of their cars or homes, and leaving, first thing in the morning, never to see them again. Atleast those encounters were honest in intention and brief with expectations. Seokmin often ate her ear off about how now that she was getting older, maybe it was time to settle down with one person and though she heard him (and partly agreed), she as usual feigned ignorance.
That's why when Mingyu walked into her life, she decided to take the chance. Things with him flowed so smoothly and were so easy going, she thought perhaps finally, she had managed to find someone more permanent. She found herself willingly going on dates, happily having hours of conversation and was pleasantly surprised that they were on the same wavelength about most things. He seemed to understand her; he was willing to go the extra mile whenever she pulled herself back, he was ok with taking a step back when she wasn't ready - it was as though he knew exactly what she needed.
Except he really did know exactly what she needed. He was nothing but a facade, a man tailor made for her after days of observing and studying her, presented in a way they knew she would be interested enough to meet again and again. It worked. Oh it worked wonderfully well for them, because honestly, Na bi did not ever see herself dressing up for a man but..... it wasn't their triumph.
Deep down Na bi knew what was the exact and the real reason she met Mingyu time and again. It was because he was a cop. It was for Changkyun. It was because should anything happen to Changkyun, Mingyu would be one of the more reliable sources to find out from.
Na bi sat up, crossing her legs, just the thought of it making her nauseous. Sure she was attracted to Changkyun, sure she knew he was dangerous but she did not think he would be the one responsible for Ana.... of course, since she found out, she no longer had the same kind of interest in him.
But the moment he appeared before her yesterday, the moment he met her eye, something in her stomach dropped and she knew - the effect he had on her was far from gone. Na bi though, wasn't insensible or unreasonable. She knew what she was here to do and no matter what happened, she was not willing to end up as the prey in this hunt.
So, to begin with, there were 2 things she had to focus on - 1. breaking the ice with that older woman and 2. figuring out this strange place she was holed up in. And with that clarity, Na bi began her mission, scribbling down the details of her discoveries in her new journal every night.
Day 1
I got together a bunch of papers and started drawing out the layout of the house. Whatever I've seen of it at least. I need to map the whole place out, and whatever is around here too - the forest, the beach, find other landmarks, any and all clues that can help identity this location. I shall do it, one step at a time. But I need to be careful. That older woman, who I think is the housekeeper here, tends to walk into my room anytime. Thank god I managed to hide the papers when she came to give me lunch. (Kimchi pasta and orange juice, absolutely delicious). There's a loose floorboard I found by the fireplace. These drawings should be secure there as of now.
But I don't know what to do about the her. When I smile at her, she simply nods and walks away. She's going to be a tough nut to crack. I watched her all afternoon, sitting in the living room with my books. She left from the backdoor at 3 and came back only at 5. I ate dinner with her at the breakfast bar, tteokbokki and orange juice again, not that I'm complaining. I told her to not refer to me as Ms. Baek and to call me Na bi. She said I could call her Mrs. Lee. She didn't speak much after that, just cleaned up everything and disappeared. Its almost 11 at night now, and I don't think I was really successful with anything today but I'm trying. One step at a time.
Oh and Changkyun didn't come home the whole day today.
Day 2
Changkyun did come home today.
I made it a point to wake up earlier than usual and as I got out of the room, I saw him, sitting at the breakfast bar, eating an omelette. But by the time I got down the stairs to approach him, he left. I don't know if he saw me or if he was ignoring me but I keep missing out on opportunities to talk to him.
I think I made a little more progress with Mrs. Lee though. If my eyes didn't betray me, she might have given a small smile when I thanked for coffee and my favourite breakfast, avocado toast and milk. I watched her again today - she has the exact same routine. She served me kimchi rice and orange juice at 12 and then by 3, she disappeared out of the back door. I followed her this time. There's this small garden at the back of the house with all sorts of vegetables and herbs but there was also a path, leading to a cottage. When I looked through the window, it seemed like Mrs. Lee was getting ready to nap. I think she lives there. It makes sense because there was no other room in the house that could belong to her. Which meant that locked room upstairs belonged to someone I don't know about.
Obviously I broke in. Somehow. I couldn't find a hairpin but I managed to grab a few old pens and do the trick. It was nothing like I expected though - it was a plain old bedroom, albeit bigger, brighter and disappointing. I was hoping to find something concrete here, anything at all, not just antique furniture and vintage dresses which oddly looked very similar to the ones I was dressed in when I first got here. I searched every inch of that place, there was truly nothing of value or even a clue hinting who it belonged to. Only Mrs. Lee could answer that question for me.
I wasn't really sure how to bring it up to her, so I just tried to make casual conversation about it using the dresses. I brought them down before dinner, showed it to her and-
Na bi looked up from her diary, the conversation replaying in her head.
"These clothes." She placed them on the kitchen counter. "I never got the chance to thank you for them."
"You don't have to thank me." Mrs. Lee glanced at them, mumbling. "I thought the red one would look nice on you."
"It is beautiful." Na bi sat down, softly running her fingers over the material. "I'm so sorry, it tore....are they yours?"
"Imagine a hag like me in dresses like that." Mrs. Lee scoffed. "It belonged to my mistress."
Na bi felt something sink in the pits of her stomach. "Mistress?"
"She loved dresses, had a huge collection in fact. A perfect one for every occasion." The use of past tense did not slip past Na bi. "A beautiful woman who only made the dresses she wore more beautiful."
"I should probably apologise to her then. Where is she...." Na bi trailed off looking at the woman's eyes become slightly wet.
"She was the sweetest thing alive. I don't think she would have minded. Master on the other hand, I'm afraid he was a little... displeased."
Na bi tugged the edges of the dress nonchalantly. "He must really love her."
"More than anything in the world." She sighed, slowing down her stirring. "That's why he's always hurting...."
Her voice softened as she looked at Na bi, eyes shaking like she spoke more than she should have. This was what Na bi wanted anyways - carefully guarded information being let slip. But she had to take it slow, to not raise any suspicions. And Mrs. Lee didn't seem like she was willing to let anything else slip as silence took over between them again.
-she said it belonged to her Mistress. Whoever she is, or was, either she doesn't live here anymore or she's dead, I don't know which. But it's proved Mingyu wrong. Changkyun cannot possibly be interested in me. Not when he had someone else in his life. Someone he cared enough about to still hold on to her personal belongings. Then why was he looking out for me? What do I mean to him?
Who knows? He could answer my questions, he's the only one who can but yet again, he didn't come home.
Day 3
Today I drew more of the map. I left the house before sunrise, followed the same route I took the time I first ran out of here and yet again, it took me to the beach. I passed almost 58 large trees, ran almost 3km west of the house to reach it. I still don't understand how I can possibly be near the sea. Where on Earth is this place?
I made sure to return in time for breakfast though, but Changkyun was not there today. I had toast and milk again and Mrs. Lee seemed more guarded than usual, perhaps after yesterday's slip up. But she didn't seem as unfriendly, maybe because I squeezed the orange juice for lunch by myself. When she was gone by 3, I knew what I wanted to do today - search through Changkyun's room. So I did just that, except today..... he was inside.
Na bi felt her hands shake as she recalled the encounter.
"Ms. Baek."
Na bi froze, hand on the handle as the voice boomed behind her.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?"
She turned around slowly, eyes falling on the not so large room with a really large table in the centre, Changkyun seated behind.
"I uh...thought I heard you in here." She slowly walked in.
"Really?" He looked at her amused. "I'm known to be quiet as a cat."
Na bi gulped, clearing her throat. "You.... haven't been home in a while."
"Neither have you." He titled his head at her. "I stopped by your room this morning."
Na bi felt her heart hammering away in her chest.
"I....must've been in the shower."
"I didn't hear the water running."
"Oh then," Na bi looked away, at the fireplace, thinking quick. "You probably came when I was in the garden."
"You left the house?"
She stared at the flames harder, hoping not to give herself away. "Why? Am I not allowed to?"
"No." Na bi turned to him surprised as he continued. "There are no restrictions on you here Ms. Baek, you are free to do or go wherever you wish."
"Really? There's a room upstairs though....that you keep locked." She looked at him, trying not to seem too inquisitive, probably horribly failing at it. "Am I not allowed in there?"
"Can locked doors possibly keep you away?"
Na bi blinked at him. Did he know that she...
"That door has been like that for years." He clarified. "Simply locks every time it's closed."
"Oh." Na bi licked her lips, walking closer up to him, the contents of his table getting clearer with each step. "Then what about this room? Mrs. Lee stopped me from entering it a few days back."
He smiled. "Perhaps because entering someone's personal room in their absence is a sign of poor etiquette."
"Of course." Na bi glanced at the papers on his table, holding her breath as she did.
Maps. Hundreds of them. Much like the one stashed safely in her room, the one she was drawing out.
She looked up meeting his eye. "So you're not....hiding anything here?"
Changkyun leaned back, expression unreadable but he shook his head. "Not from you, no."
Why not though?
"What are all these then?" She pointed, stuffing her hands in the back pockets of her jeans so he couldn't see them shake.
"Maps of different areas in Seoul." He spread them out further, allowing her to take a closer look. "This is how I keep my business organised."
"Huh." She nodded, noticing red crosses and black circles scattered all over the papers. "What kind of um business do you-"
She jumped a little, at the sound of a strange static noise, unable to recognise its source.
"What's that sound?"
"My cue. I have to go, there's a meeting..." He got up and Na bi immediately took a few unnecessary steps back as he walked up to her. "Meanwhile, the reason I was looking for you..."
He handed her a familiar, shiny black device that felt cold in her palm.
"Wonho said you dropped it when he picked you up."
Her phone.
Na bi inwardly sighed in relief as she wrapped her fingers around the cold metal. Changkyun walked up to the door, donning a blazer over his trademark black shirt. Na bi followed him out, her mind still focused on the contents on the table. She knew she was far from done with this room.
He returned my phone to me but its as good as not having one. There's a crack, right across the camera lens, rendering any picture I take absolutely unfathomable. And I don't get any signal here, not one bar. I can't contact Mingyu or Seokmin, that phone is as good as a brick.
When Mrs. Lee came back, I helped her with making dinner. I know I'm no cook but I can follow instructions and I think I did a good job of it? She was afterall talking to me sweetly and even gave me an extra helping of her special homemade kimchi. Maybe I'm not far from making a friend here but Chankgyun.... I still can't figure him out.
I still don't get him.
Day 4
I covered the North side today.
It's.... its the same. Almost 5km of trees, trees and more trees and the end of it all, a beach. I'm getting a faint inkling as to where I actually am but..... I don't want to think about it. If what I'm assuming is true, I couldn't be more trapped.
Yet again I didn't see Changkyun for breakfast but I didn't see Mrs. Lee either. She was back in the garden, trying to deal with some weeds and dying tomatoes.
Fate, if its real, must be trying to help me because who knew better about gardening than I did. I think that hour we spent, fixing up those shrubs probably broke the last of the ice between us. Mrs. Lee was smiling more than usual, talking about the plants and all her recipes, and just seemed to have warmed up to me now. So I thought it wouldn't be too wrong to ask her the question.
"Mrs. Lee, I was trying to call a friend yesterday. You see I didn't get the chance to tell anyone I was going to be away, but I wasn't getting any signal? Is there.... is there any place where I can get better cell service or something?"
"Around here? No dear, there's no cell towers for miles." She tugged the weeds. "We don’t need them anyways, no one around here uses phones."
Na bi felt a wave of apprehension wash over her.
"Then... how do you contact people? Like your family?"
"Master is all the family I have." She smiled. "And need."
I think don't know if Mrs.Lee was telling the truth about the phones. But her statement did confirm something else I've been wondering - we're not the only ones, there are others. Others who lived around here and perhaps, they can help me understand more about this place. I just need to find them.
After lunch today, I wasn't able to explore anymore - Mrs. Lee needed help with the garden again. I wasn't able to extract any more information from her either, she was too focused on the task at hand. But over dinner, she did say something that surprised me.
"You really seem to like my kimchi."
Na bi took a break from shoving a huge bite into her mouth and looked up, nodding.
"I like everything you make. I don't get to eat much fresh food at home. I pretty much survive on kimbaps and instant noodles."
Mrs. Lee frowned at her, shaking her head. "You poor thing. Must be tough, having to eat those miserable packaged food."
"I don't really mind it." Na bi confessed. "I actually really like it-"
"Well you're not going to find any of that poison in this house." She crossed her arms. "I don't allow it. It's unhealthy and atrocious. Master is already picky with eating vegetables, imagine adding those preservatives to his system."
Na bi raised an eyebrow. "He doesn't eat vegetables? What a five year old."
"Indeed." Mrs. Lee broke into a fond smile. "You should've seen him when he was actually five. He wouldn't even take a bite of the kimbaps I used to make. Always spat it right out."
The image of his full cheeks as he munched on the kimbap in her home flashed in Na bi's head. I'm not picky.
"Thanks to you, I've been able to get him to eat at least a few vegetables a day. Even though he still insists on having some meat every meal-"
Na bi tried to swallow her bite quickly. "Because of me?"
"Yes you. I've been cooking more vegetarian dishes recently since, well, Master told me you're a vegetarian. And so I can..."
Na bi didn't hear anymore. Not with her mind full of thoughts.
He knows what I eat. He knows what I wear. He knows what I smell like. He knows everything yet I don't know why. Why did he bother to know so much? If like Mingyu said, he is interested in me, why hasn't he made any move, or even conversation?
I can't figure him out. I can't figure him out at all.
Day 5
Today morning I managed to cover the South side. It took considerably longer cause it was much larger, 10km at least, but to no one's surprise, ending at a beach. 3 directions, all ending at a beach, I think what I fear is true..... perhaps tomorrow I will be able to prove it.
But there was something I didn't see elsewhere - a helipad. At least that's what I'm guessing it is. It was just a large clearing in the woods, and by the way the impressions looked in the grass, that seemed like the most probable explanation. Yet another factor supporting my theory....
Also, I found out how they do it. Live without cell towers and phones that is.
Walkie talkies.
I saw Mrs. Lee talk into one over breakfast today. I don't know how I've never noticed it before, this black box like machine sitting in the corner of the kitchen counter. She said we were running out of rice and by the evening, there was a huge sack of it, sitting by the back door. I don't know much about walkie talkies and how they work, but I am aware that both parties need to be in a certain range. That's only further proof that there are others here, people who might be able to help me but also people I've never managed to catch sight of over the many days I've roamed around here. I need to explore the east side tomorrow. That might be the last piece to finish the puzzle of this place.
While Mrs. Lee took up most of my day, trying to teach me some simple recipes, I did manage to slip into Changkyun's room once again after lunch. There were no papers on the table this time, in fact it was completely empty. I tried looking through the drawers, the shelves - they were all empty.
The only other things in the room were a bed, a couch and a wardrobe. I looked through the wardrobe too - it was just a bunch of suits and hoodies that looked a whole lot more comfortable than the clothes kept in my room. Maybe that's why at that moment I decided to strip out of the really uncomfortable blouse I was wearing, into one of the hoodies....
"You really have a mind of your own don't you?"
Na bi knew before turning that Changkyun had just walked out of the bathroom; she had heard the water running. What she didn't expect was that he would be clad in nothing but his towel, hanging low on his waist, little rivets of water streaming down his torso. Na bi could not hide the way her eyes roamed over his body.
She cleared her throat, turning back to the wardrobe. "As should everyone."
As he began walking up to her, she grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt and threw it to him over her shoulder. The muffled sounds told her he had caught them and was slipping them on and it was only when she felt his breath on her neck that she knew he was done.
"You keep forgetting to breathe when you're around me Ms. Baek."
His voice was a soft whisper, making Na bi realise that she had indeed held her breath all this while and allowed herself to exhale. When she turned, she found herself trapped between him and the wardrobe behind her, her eyes flickering to between his lips and eyes. Changkyun raised his eyebrow as he looked pointedly at his grey hoodie which she had donned.
"You really oversold yourself with whole 'whatever you need will be arranged for' statement." She crossed her arms. "The clothes you filled my wardrobe with look like the personal collection of someone who cannot decide between being a victorian widow or a rebelious milkmaid from the alps."
Changkyun laughed, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. "I knew Wonho didn't know a thing about women's fashion."
Na bi blinked at him. "Wonho bought the clothes?" Changkyun nodded.
"How... how did he know about the... blue?"
"I told him."
"Did you also tell him the scent I use?"
Changkyun nodded but scoffed looking at her expression. "It's a colour and a smell Ms. Baek. I have good memory. You need not feel grateful for the bare minimum."
"Okay then, How did you know I was vegetarian?"
"I guessed? Based on the your eating habits."
"But you were barely with me for a day. How could you know?"
Changkyun grew silent for a minute, looking rather amused.
"Your questions are rather different from what I expected you to ask me Ms. Baek." He leaned closer, as though he was searching her face for something. "You're rather unpredictable."
Na bi wanted to laugh at that. Maybe she would have if Mrs. Lee didn't knock to call them for dinner. As Changkyun left, Na bi winced at the loss of his warmth and his scent around her. No, no, no. She had to snap out of it.
He had dinner with me for the first time today. Mrs. Lee was right, he was indeed picky with his food and his vegetables - he refused to even touch the kimbap. He really had enjoyed the one I made him though. I don't know if he liked my food or dare I say, if he likes me....
I don't think I'll ever know.
Day 6
I was supposed to explore the east side today but I couldn't - Changkyun was home all day.
He was there eating breakfast with me. He was there, playing the piano as I pretended to read through my books. He was there for lunch, and there when Mrs. Lee took her usual siesta. We played chess all afternoon, which he, not surprisingly, ended up winning. I let him win - it was our first game afterall. I wanted to crack his gameplay more than I wanted to defeat him, see how his brain works, figure out how he thinks. He's..... straightforward. He wasn't hiding behind any moves, or playing any mind games. He was simple and upfront. I don't understand him any more than before.
After that I caught him leaving the house so this time I asked him where he was going. He said for a swim and asked if I wanted to join. I probably shouldn't have but....
Na bi followed Changkyun out of the back door of the house, walking the opposite direction of Mrs. Lee's cottage. She hadn't had the chance to explore the east side yet so she took each step behind him carefully, looking around as she moved. When the trees cleared before her and Changkyun moved out of her view, her eyes fell on a water spring, pouring out from behind stacked rocks into a small pool reflecting the blue of the skies and white of the clouds.
Na bi stared at it wordlessly, missing the moment Changkyun stripped out of his shirt and pants and jumped into the water, disappearing under it. Coming back to her senses with the splash of droplets all over her, she looked around in the dead emptiness of the woods.
Changkyun’s head appeared above the water, hand pushing back the dark hair sticking to his face as did the familiar sight of his drenched, sculpted abs. He looked at her, head tilted, eyes questioning.
"I... don't know how to swim." Na bi confessed. The pool didn't look too deep, one definitely didn't need to know how to swim to get in there but Changkyun didn't point that out as she pulled her pants up to her knees and sat on a rock, legs dangling in the waters.
Instead, he smirked. "Did you offer to come along just to watch me Ms. Baek?"
"Maybe." Na bi answered truthfully, trying not to let her eyes wander anywhere below his neck. Changkyun chuckled, disappearing under the water again, as Na bi relished the feeling of the cool waters around her legs.
He swam around for a while, submerging himself for long periods of time like a child trying to see how long he could hold his breath under water. Sometimes Na bi panicked when she didn't see him come up soon enough, but he always came up - the man could clearly hold his breath for a ridiculously long time.
As the sun began to set, the cool waters started feeling a lot colder, making Na bi pull her feet out, shivering. Watching her Changkyun got out, shaking the water off like a wet dog, making her cover herself, looking away. Grinning like a child, he walked away and to her surprise, began collecting a bunch of sticks and twigs from here and there. In five minutes, he stacked them all and pulled out his lighter from the pocket of the discarded pant and started a fire.
Na bi scooted closer to the flames as he dried himself off beside it and sadly, dressed himself up again. When he sat down across her, poking the sticks, she slowly began questioning him.
"So this is what you do around here?" She rubbed her hands warm. "Play the piano, swim out here, all alone?"
"When I have the time yeah." He replied, nodding. "Which is not often. I'm usually far too busy with my business to find time for such things."
What kind of business?
Strangely, Na bi felt bad for him. He didn't look like he was much older than her which meant he was in his late twenties too. She wondered how it was, living a life so isolated, so alone, so far away, in the shadows. She liked being alone too but his life seemed so.... lonely.
"I can't imagine. I've been here barely a week and I feel like I'm already losing my mind."
"Go out then." He stated like it was the obvious solution. "Some city air should help."
"Wait I..." Na bi tried not to look too shocked. "I can leave this place?"
"Of course Ms. Baek." He glanced at her amused. "You're not my prisoner."
"No I just.... thought it was too dangerous for me out there?"
"It is, but Wonho and my men can accompany you, make sure you're safe when you're out."
Of course, she would still have company, of course she'll still be watched. But she had to get out, she had to meet Mingyu somehow, tell him everything she found out so far.
"And when will I be able to go back home?" She added. "My home."
Changkyun took a deep breath. "Soon. I admit we haven't made much, actually, any progress on finding those who are after you but hopefully....soon."
"Well I can't stay here forever. My suspension ends in less than 2 weeks, I need to be back at work, back at home."
"You may return whenever you wish Ms. Baek. Today, tomorrow or in 2 weeks. I can arrange for your protection wherever you choose to be." His gaze pierced her. "I meant it when I said I'll look out for you."
Why why why Changkyun?
Na bi wanted to ask him, she wanted to ask him so much more but there was something about the silence that fell between them that didn't allow her to talk. She...liked it. She had often craved for a silence this comfortable and warm and to find it here was.....terrifying.
It persisted till the fire finally burnt out, submerging them in the darkness of the evening, dimly lit by the swarms of fireflies. Changkyun finally got up, brushing off the dried twigs and leaves off his pants, as Na bi struggled to do the same with her foot fast asleep. Laughing at her stumbling movements, he walked up and pulled her onto her feet, her hands flying to find their place against his chest, face inches away from his.
You could put her at gunpoint but it was moments like this that Na bi dreaded more. Moments where she was so physically close to him that her defences, her inhibitions, everything crumbled down, overwhelmed by the desire to just feel him against her, just once.
But then Ana's image flashed in her head. Her lying sprawled on a forest floor much like this, all that blood.... this was sick. This man was a murderer, this man killed her friend, yet she... she couldn't do this. She shouldn't do this.
Before she could separate herself from him, it was Changkyun who pulled away, not meeting her eye.
"The temperature tends to drop fast around here after sunset. We should head back." And with that he walked away, leaving her to follow him, perplexed by his behaviour as always.
My clothes are all here. All that blue miserableness in the closet is gone, Changkyun arranged for my own clothes to be brought from home. I showered for longer than usual today. I don't know, I just felt strangely dirty.
Then I had dinner with him again. Mrs. Lee was the only one who spoke the whole time though. I couldn't find any words to say to him, he didn't seem to have any either. After dinner he informed me that Wonho will take me wherever I want to go tomorrow.... I need to figure out how to meet Mingyu. The map isn't fully done but I need to tell him whatever I know and to give him...
Na bi looked up from her diary at the gun on the table.
She found it, in the pile of clothes Changkyun had discarded before he jumped into the waters. She'd recognise it anywhere - it was the same one he had on him the night he came to her house. The same one who's bullets implicated her in this mission with the NIS. Perhaps the same one that committed many crimes.
She just needed to get it to Mingyu somehow. She would've given it to him too. If only.....
Next chapter
#changkyun series#changkyun smut#changkyun angst#mingyu series#mingyu smut#mingyu angst#monsta x series#monsta x smut#monsta x angst#changkyun#im chankgyun#monsta x changkyun#monsta x#kim mingyu#seventeen Mingyu#mingyu#seventeen series
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Welcome!
@ryin-silverfish here, also known as "That person who talks a lot about FSYY and fox spirits".
This is my little LMK AU sideblog, which started off as a bunch of disjointed background notes for my fanfics, but developed into its own gigantic thing over time.
I've said elsewhere that, despite LMK (and many other JTTW adjacent works) lifting certain tidbits wholesale from FSYY——like Nezha's backstory or the Golden Dragon Shears, neither the show nor the fanworks really go into the implications of a FSYY/JTTW combined universe.
(For one, Zhao Gongming's three sisters, the Sanxiao, showing up to kick Jin and Yin's butts for stealing and breaking their treasure would be very satisfying, and also hella badass.)
Well, be the change you want, they said.
So here it is: Journey of the Gods, aka "LMK, but FSYY is also canon and an extremely influential historical event".
Inspired by @digitaldoeslmk 's By the Book AU.
What even is FSYY?
"Ancient China's bloodiest bureaucracy recruitment program, kickstarted by a king who simped too hard for the creator goddess of humanity and the fox girl she sent to end his dynasty."
"I'll write my own God-Demon novel, with blackjacks and fox hookers and no Buddhist allegories!" ——Xu Zhonglin/Lu Xixing/Li Yunxiang
Okay, jokes aside: Investiture of the Gods(Fengshen Yanyi) is the other big "God-Demon Novel" of the Ming dynasty, written after JTTW. It's about the toppling of the Shang dynasty and its tyrannical King Zhou by King Wu of Zhou——but with more Daoism, immortals and demons helping out both sides, and ten billion magical formations and treasures.
At the end of the story, almost everyone who died in battle were deified and became the 365 gods of the Celestial Bureaucracy, thus "Investiture of the Gods".
Here is a link to the only full English translation of FSYY, by Gui Zhizhong.
Here is my overview of FSYY's grand overarching conflict, a.k.a. "Why are all the Daoist immortals fighting?"
Compared to JTTW, it's a lot more formulaic and suffers from a massive character count inflation problem, but also extremely influential in Chinese folk religion, to the point of some modern temples, like Qingyang Palace, basically worshiping characters from the novel! Like, the western equivalent would be a church worshiping Dante and Beatrice from the Divine Comedy.
(Similarly, it is to orthodox Daoism what the Divine Comedy is to medieval Christian theology, and should not be treated as actual religious scriptures.)
Okay, FSYY happened in the LMK universe. So What?
Well, first, it will really do wonders to fill up that eerily empty Celestial Realm we see in the Spider Queen special, and the Celestial Bureaucracy will no longer consist of a grand total of five people.
Secondly, it can solve some major show-not-tell problems and actually give legitimacy to the grievances of the LMK Brotherhood + Havoc in Heaven, as well as fleshing out the Celestial Realm.
Third, so many cool magical treasures.
Fourth, LBD gets an origin story, with a twist.
Fifth, I delight in quality angst and horror, and FSYY had some seriously messed-up stuff and implications.
Sixth, Celestial Bureaucracy office politics.
Seventh, Nezha kicking asses and winning fights like he should.
Eighth, crazy Xianxia shit, as you’d expect from the great-granddaddy of modern Xianxia genre.
Ninth, infodumps about Chinese mythos and history trivias.
Tenth, Underworld lore.
...As you can probably tell, this is mostly just me nerding out and writing walls of texts. I'm not a very good artist and can't do Lego style, but will probably doodle some symbol/character designs for funsies.
I also derive most of my enjoyment from writing fix-its and worldbuilding, not shipping characters. Like, I love exploring individual characters through relationships, but just ain't a fan of romance.
There will be a lot of OCs, but unless otherwise specified, all of them will be based on actual characters from FSYY and JTTW, with a few folk gods sprinkled in for funsies.
With that taken care of: good luck and happy reading!
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THE SECOND WORLD IN MY OC STORY, ESCAPE FROM CANVANDRO! these are the central characters in sparkling shores, a beach with a movie studio on it! going in order, more info on them under the cut!
glitz glamiller, more commonly just "the director": a man with a naturally charismatic air, he uses a magical megaphone to make people think they literally ARE the roles he writes for them (makes better actors that way). the way to seal and undo this is through contracts he writes for people- it's really not harmful, he says, he always rips up the contracts when they're done! and he doesn't tell anyone that's how this works! he used to be all the rage in the film industry when his films were subversive hits about the villains always winning, but now that canvandro's heroes all seem to have vanished, it's a little BORING, don't you think? now, 10 years after his most famous show went off the air, he's a washed-up has been who kidnaps jacques to try and get his name back in the game one more time
blitz deville (billy goodwin): the director used to have a show with a kid supervillain as its lead and it was VERY popular! it ran for a while but then got cancelled on short notice because 'supervillains just aren't a novel concept anymore, really'. the kid's parents were FURIOUS with the director for not fighting harder for their little baby's role, and they speed off angrily in a car, never to be seen again. the director can't find that kid's special contract, but assumes his parents took it and shredded it themselves. ten years later, glitz realizes how wrong he is as a grown-up version of his cash cow character shows up at his doorstep, demanding revenge for getting his REAL AND TRUE TV SHOW off the air. oh cosmos, his parents didnt SHRED his contract, they FRAMED IT AS A FAMILY HEIRLOOM!! and this kid's thought he's a supervillain for TEN YEARS NOW!! it was a freak accident really.
after the main story of sparkling shores, two more characters also get introduced!
billy goodwin: the guy who 'played' blitz deville now that his contract's been ripped up! he had a fun enough time as a supervillain but now he's just a normal guy with a BIZZARE amount of robotics knowledge and his own evil lair and hes just not too sure how awkward that is for other people. does it feel awkward? he thinks its awkward.
WALLY SPARKS!: after jacques defeats the director, he becomes a recurring nuisance, showing up to engage in fisticuffs all across canvandro, with his new assistant, apparently his old college roommate! wally was a weatherman in gauss city, canvandro's biggest city (stay tuned to find more about them out), until one day, he got struck by lightning in the same storm that hit jacques, and this gave him a SUPERNATURAL POWER: an aura that makes almost everyone find him unlikable and annoying. down on his luck, wally decides to go find where glitz is working and beg him for a job, and lucky for him, glitz gets him one! they get into silly antics and might be a little gay. wally also likes saying his own name like a pokemon
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