#Teddie deserved a writeup long ago

[thiscityneedslessfog]

Only me and Shadows around here

Teddie’s story is a giant identity crisis. He bearly has a sense of self when Yu, Yosuke and Chie first meet him, he’s deeply insecure about the idea of not being able to help as much, and what I think is overlooked is the self-hatred he feels over being a Shadow—a self-demonization that eats away at him. So he’s desperate to be more helpful because of that when… he’s already the most important Investigation Team member (which is saying an incredible amount, all eight of these guys pull their weight)!

Teddie doesn't have much of a sense of self when we first meet him. He has a name, but that’s… about all he can give you. He doesn’t know what he is, he doesn’t have any memory whatsoever.

And he doesn’t like it. Second time we see him, he’s having an existential crisis over not knowing who or what he is, delibearating over the pawsibilities. And furthermore, he's growing insecure. He's at this point the only noncombatant member of the Investigation Team, and only convinced Yosuke and Yu to accept him in the first place because of his nose and knowledge of the TV world.

And he's worried about being held to that as he becomes more and more attached to the Investigation Team.

You notice Teddie uses "scoring" a lot, as in "scoring [one]self a hot stud." It's partly because he overheard Chie and Yosuke discussing Konohana Sakuya on Yukiko's bizarre Midnight Channel Episode, but I think he uses it so much because he's been taught that "romantic gestures" are the best way to connect with people. Society values romance over friendship in most cultures, after all. And Teddie really, really wants to attach to the rest of the group, accusing them of abandoning him in Rank 1 of his social link and talking about how hurt he was when he felt left out of the group.

This desire to help, attach and protect extends to Teddie’s moveset. Let's analyze Teddie's Persona, Kintoki-Douji, shall we?

Even as a combatant, Teddie's role is primarily supportive. He knows both Matarukaja and Marakukaja, he can heal much like Yukiko can albeit less specialized, and he takes over the ice mage role for Chie. In his Social Link, he can learn Marakunda, which is probably the best debuff spell that isn’t Debilitate, and Samarecarm. He also learns Amrita via level-up. He can be offensive and defensive support, and a healer! In my group playthrough with my friends, Teddie was almost full support! He's that dedicated to not being useless, he's that dedicated to being helpful to the Investigation Team.

Now, the reason Teddie has such attachment issues is because the Investigation Team are the only friends he’s ever had at this point. But also, Teddie has recently confronted his own Shadow, and has realized a truth about himself that horrifies him to the point that he’d think it bearfectly reasonable to abandon him over it…

When Rise accepts the idea that she doesn’t have a “true self” to pursue when she soothes and awakens Himiko, Teddie just is having a massive existential crisis in the background over the idea of not having a self and it leads to Kintoki-Douji just spawning in out of (almost) nowhere. Because the thing is…

Shadow. He’s a shadow. And a shadow as he knows is inherently incomplete. He’s not an amnesiac. He’s always been a Shadow.

This is why he snapped at Yosuke when he joked about Teddie’s head being hollow. Sure, it’s funny to Yosuke, but it’s terrifying to Teddie, because to be hollow, to be a Shadow, is to be incomplete. To be less than.

Not only that, every shadow they’ve seen other than himself has been hostile. Hunts them down and chases after them, save for the golden hands. They kill their full selves if the fog is cleared because they go violently berserk, which Teddie himself explains. He has to hide from these creatures trying to kill him, but… he’s technically one of them!

Which is why he shouts at Kintoki-Douji to shut up. In Teddie’s eyes, shadows are monsters… so if Teddie is a shadow, then… Teddie, himself, is a monster. And that prospect is horrifying. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he hates the idea of even being a liability. A threat?! He can’t be a threat. No way. He couldn’t bear that idea. That’s why he snaps at Yosuke over being called hollow. Hollow, like the monsters they fight.

This is why Kintoki-Douji looks the way he does as a Shadow. He looks like a disintegrating, monstrous Teddie that’s collapsing in on himself, pieces of him being sucked inside the black hole within him. Because Teddie’s emptiness, his status as a Shadow, is critically dangerous in his eyes, dangerous to himself and his only friends.

He does stop lying to himself that he's a Shadow and, in his eyes, a monster, but it still haunts him, so he doesn't let the Investigation Team know.

I’m fairly sure is actually why he pursues a human form. He not only wants to become closer to the rest of the Investigation Team, he wants to believe he’s complete. He doesn’t want to be a fragment or a monster. He’s terrified of himself. This is the real root of his crisis. “What if I’m a monster?” And he doesn't want the Investigation Team to leave him, as they're the only friends he has. And he fears if they knew he was a Shadow, they'd leave or turn on him. He can't stand that thought.

And even in human form, he's constantly thinking about the terrifying possibility of being left behind. Even as Yu assures him during the cooking competition (Teddie’s Rank 4) that it's going to be fine and he can stay as long as he wants, he’s genuinely startled by it. And later proves he doesn’t truly believe him.

In his Rank 7, he tells Nanako and the IT that he still doesn't know what he is—when he obviously knows what he is at this point, Kintoki-Douji would never have awakened otherwise. He's lying to them because he doesn’t want the team to know, he so badly doesn’t want them to know because he’s terrified of how they’ll react, so he just keeps up the act that he’s not sure what he is. Because he’s something that he doesn’t think the Team would accept. He's something they've been mostly fighting against.

And his Rank 8 doesn’t help… when he gets the physical examination, it bugs out. It glitches, and Teddie laments that he “still hasn’t found out anything," anything that could point him away from the truth that Teddie is naturally a Shadow.

He’s drowning so hard in the idea he shouldn’t be an Investigation Team member that during the Nanako arc he leaves of his own accord over his sheer guilt of being unable to save her.

But what Teddie learns throughout his link is... it doesn't matter if he's "fundamentally different," it doesn't matter that he's a Shadow. He's still a member of the Investigation Team. The team panics when he’s gone, constantly asks where on earth he is.

I mean, see the rank above. Yu doesn’t care about the whole promise, he just likes that Teddie’s there. He can even use Teddie’s staunchness on promises to talk him into staying. I think Teddie’s also afraid of possibly going bearserk and turning on them all, to be honest, but the IT isn't.

And Teddie’s so freaking wrong about being useless. I’d argue that Teddie is single most important Investigation Team member. And none of those kids are dead weight in the slightest. Persona 4's story would fundamentally be wildly different without Teddie. Probably the most important reason is… right in the TV world hub at Junes. Who made those exit TVs? Who?

Teddie did. He's the reason the group can even safely traverse the TV World in the first place. The kidnapping victims of Namatame would be exactly as dead as the Midnight Channel Killer wanted them to be. And Chie, Yosuke and Yu would also be stranded in the TV world if not for Teddie showing up and making those exits.

Not to mention he’s why those awesome glasses exist. Of both varieties. Not only do the normal ones help the IT see in the fog, the goofy ones just are really cute.

And not to mention during the Midnight Channel Killer arc. Teddie feels insanely guilty over Nanako's apparent death, and self-hates so hard over his inability to save her that Igor picks him up and plops him in the Velvet Room.

When he's missing, the group's in serious trouble. They figure out who the MCK is without him, but can't catch that damn spider because reality’s beginning to fog over and the TV World’s fog is getting denser.

It’s Teddie who finds Adachi when the fog is too thick for Rise to detect him. Teddie is helpful. He found the literal Midnight Channel Killer and helped the team corner him.

After Teddie’s social link is maxed in the Velvet Room, where he finally comes clean to Yu over being a shadow, and therefore “incomplete,” he chooses to visit Nanako. And the doctor tells him that his and the others’ voices reaching Nanako are what saved her from the brink… and that’s what makes Teddie start to believe he’s not something meant to be tossed away after all. He can do something—he helped save Nanako…

So he comes back to the Investigation Team to come clean. Who cares if he’s a Shadow—he helped save Nanako, didn’t he? And if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that the love he feels for the Investigation Team and Nanako is real. And the Investigation Team reacts with joy when he’s back, because… he’s one of them! He’s their friend and they love him.

Oh, and all that self-hatred he had over being a Shadow? Nobody cared when he admitted he's a Shadow after his Social Link is maxed. Yosuke literally says this:

That hits. They figured out he was a Shadow, in his eyes a monster, and they didn’t care for a moment. I mean, he’s not incomplete either. Him being a Persona user proves that. Naoto explains it pretty well why Teddie’s not incomplete in any way. Or a monster at that.

Humans can be monsters. See the Midnight Channel Killer himself. But Teddie? Teddie is not lying when he says he’s 50% kindness by volume. Who cares if he’s a Shadow. He’s a member of the IT, and severely underestimates his own importance because of his own self-fear. The Investigation Team would never have caught the MCK had it not been for his knowledge and capabilities, and furthermore… they love him, who cares if he’s a Shadow or whatever. He’s an Investigation Team member. Screw the idea of being a monster or empty or whatever, he's still important. And it's pretty fitting Yosuke was the one who told him that he didn't care that Teddie was a Shadow, because he also talked about wanting to be important to others in his Social Link.

Teddie is lovable no matter what, and shouldn't downplay how important he is on so many levels. He's great. And was always worthy of love, the IT always loved him, no matter how long it took him to realize.