#Teacher life ain't easy

[notes-from-sarah]

Fav pages/panels

New Mutants Annual #3 by Chris Claremont

[luxuourr]

EASE YOURSELF TO GET THE EASY

tw ; harsh language + motivation as well

sorry to break it to you, but if you keep crying and whining about your life you're not gonna get anywhere, you're not mentally eased , you're affirming , using subliminals and scripting day and night but your brain and mind is not at ease, you think like " ahaha I'm doing the work I'll get the outcome" 2 minutes past " WHERE'S MY FUCKING OUTCOME??!!!" and your actual manifestations haven't even sinked or been accepted by you too, because you think it's impossible. i can't do anything. too good to be true.

that's honestly up my ass " too good to be true"

your mind needs to be at ease instead of always checking the 3D , why don't you accept 3D only changes when you know 4D is just like that, GET THIS THING THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!!! loa bloggers ain't doing shit for y'all, just do it YOURSELF IT'S EASY AS FUCK. None of you guys take it easy then blame it on the LOA teachers / bloggers..

how to manifest ?

+ i want a laptop

+ I use subs to get laptop

+ one day or even a week passes by and I start whining without even believing in the subliminal that it doesn't work

maybe I'd say if you actually believed in the subliminal you would not be clicking off it , or changing ways and stuff and living up in the first place

CHANGE SELF CONCEPT THAT SHIT IS POWERFUL.

[bluee08]

Astro observations 《3》

Disclaimer : Not an astrologer, take it with a grain of salt, only for fun.

🫧 Asteroid Orma in 8th house might be the people to leave an impression of being hella reserved in a mysterious way. Like they might tell you a story and you will always feel like there is something more to it.

🪩 Mars in 3rd house people often say something offending without meaning to and regret the very next second. Trust me it's not their fault, they wanted to say something else and ended up saying something totally unexpected. They also feel guilty about it for days and feel sad that they might have come off rude for no reason.

🫧 Neptune conjuct ascendant, they are the real chameleons. They can mold themselves as per the situation demands. Ngl it comes handy sometimes. Like I remember when I was in 6th grade I was caught into a very serious matter but I pretended as if nothing happened and flew away. When the other guys rattled me out to the teacher, she said It's impossible that I was involved and that she doesn't believe them. She didn't hear a single word against me. Lol no, I wasn't her favorite student or something. It's just that I had maintained a certain reputation among different sect of people as per my own convenience. Call it manipulation if you want, if that doesn't explain the planet itself.

🪩 Pluto trine Lilith, it's not always sexuality that comes to the mind when we hear about these folk. Lilith here is aware that pluto is her benefactor. But it takes time for her to feel comfortable in her own domain. She is powerful here and knows what she wants. Definitely won't take anyone's bullshit. Her transformation can be scary and ruthless if someone tries to pin her down.

🫧 Jupiter sextile Pluto have a deep interest in forbidden things. Learning things that often people consider taboo is their thrill. They may or may not share the knowledge but they are always resourceful about topics relatated to dark themes of life. Feel free to discuss anything with them, they won't judge you infact they will help you inhance your own boundaries. You will be surprised how normal they'll sound while talking about things that might trigger other people even if they have gone through the same.

🪩 The one guy I had a Aphrodite-Eros synastry with made me feel like...idk strange. I was on a constant pedestal. I cared a lot about him. His Eros conjucted my Aphrodite and I looked out for him a lot. There was a thick sexual tension but also comfort. He also made me get a taste of jealousy. Which I don't usually feel. I used to constantly compare myself with the girls he used to interact with. We were not dating but I just couldn't help but feel insecure. Not because of him....idk why I was acting like that when I knew I was pretty enough.

🫧 Mars opposite Venus people get sudden mood swings from doing absolutely nothing to doing everything in next one hour. Oh and they'll do it again if it ain't asthetically pleasing to the eye.

🪩 Sun sextile Saturn, trust me they do know how to control themselves and take things with a grain of salt. Their ego is well maintained and not fragile unlike others. Very understanding and real mature people.

🫧 Sun sextile/trine Moon are the most compassionate and intuned with their selves. They know themselves better than anyone else. Also they always know exactly what they are feeling at any given time. Even if they are depressed at some point they won't give up easily.

🪩 Neptune negatively aspecting Saturn, dreaming big is easy, isn't it? But when you start implanting those dreams in real life your dreams remain dreams only. Don't worry though. It's a lesson. Don't give up, try harder. Dream as big as you want but at the end of the day remember to open your eyes and start afresh with new motivation. And please don't listen to those who tell you to quit it down. Your dreams are not weird or impossible or too much. Those people are just jealous because of how big your ambitions are and how far you are willing to go for it. Don't restrict your imagination for someone else. Believe yourself, you can do it!

🫧 Pluto in 10th house solar return chart can indicate a huge change in academic life or anywhere you are working at. For better or worse you better take precautions before hand. I am having it this year with mars in 3rd house and trust me from an above average student my grades are becoming poor. If I were to describe my graph I can see it coming downhill like a water slide which is creating quite an impression on my parents as well as my teachers. Note the sarcasm.

🪩 Saturn in 7th house could indicate having no interest in relationships at first or people being afraid to ask you out but when you grow up, settle well, you find yourself looking for your better half, resulting in either meeting them late or doing an arrange marriage.

🫧 Saturn opposite ascendant are the people who often get told that they look unapproachable on first glance. Kind of the 'out of league' vibe surrounds them. Which is not always true but I have noticed people do think twice before approaching them. These sweeties are also damn soft on the inside but for only those who do dare to talk to them. They rarely take the initiative themselves. But come ask help from them and they will risk their lives for you.

🪩 Mercury aspecting chiron could indicate healing your wounds by diving into the world of books. You might like to read or write journals when you are feeling down. There might be a small diary or pages that you have written when you were at your lowest. Its also possible that you start writing a novel or something to help you voice out your pain through written words.

🫧 Sun conjuct asteroid Medusa. Damn! You could have curly hair or hairs that are a lot wavy, thick and voluminated. Highly blessed in hair department. Many people might have praised you or complimented on your hair from a very young age. This could also indiacte a lot of body hair. From top to bottom you have body hair and trust me its not a bad thing. Its a blessing of being powerful, embrace it. It's just a hunch but some may have complimented you on that too.

🪩 Mars in 3rd house can't watch porn without audio or no communication during the deed. They always want to hear the sounds, no, they NeeD to hear the sounds raw! Only visuals is boring for them just as adding some weird music to the video. No, its not creating the mood, its ruining my experience, pls stop it.

🫧 You don't wanna hear someone moan who has their personal planets conjucting asteroid Sirene. Trust me you will get addicted. Its insane and I am not bluffing. Their voice may or may not be as addictive in general but in bed? Or when they want to take something from you? You will be trapped even before you blink. It's dangerous.

🪩 What's with Taurus Mars and Laziness? So much potential and still they study few hours before exam, complete assignments few minutes before submission and still have the audacity to say they will easily pass. Like bro if that's how you pass then I can't imagine how you will top....

🫧 Moon in 4th house people are highly invested in family matters. Family comes first to them and then the rest. The kind of people to tolerate an unhappy married life for the sake of their kids because they can't see their family being split apart.

🪩 Mars aspecting Pluto. It doesn't matter if it is positively aspected or negatively aspected, there is a lot of pent up frustration and anger issues underneath this placement. If provoked or underdeveloped could result in a very sudden and violent rage from this person. Better to leave them alone in such situations.

[zae-heeyyy]

Pastiche

Summary: You and Arthur escape through writing. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x gn!Reader Word Count: 2,345 Trigger Warning: Tuberculosis, death Tags: angst, sadness, high honor Arthur

a/n: Thanks for you kind words on Chiaroscuro. I've enjoyed writing again so much! I'm in my tragedy era. My hs english teacher's voice haunts me when I'm writing, so I spent a lot of time scrutinizing this. Didn't mean for it to be so long, but I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading!

pastiche: a work of art or literature that imitates the style or character of another, often as an homage or tribute.

You knew there was something special about Arthur Morgan the day you met him. Despite his best efforts to believe otherwise, he was easy on the eyes, and his dry humor combined with his strong sense of honor sealed your crush on the cowboy. Everybody else could see that he was sweet on you, too, noticing when he pulled you to sit at the fire with him or how he watched you around camp. As more time passed, you'd become mostly inseparable, taking every moment you had to sneak away together. One of your favorite places to escape to was the fields of Little Creek River in Big Valley. You'd be reading a book and glance over to find Arthur staring intently at an animal until it was out of sight. Then he'd open up his journal and sketch it.  He wasn't doing that today, though. He was staring across the field, but you could tell he was elsewhere in his mind.

"Got somethin' to say," his eyes met yours earnestly. When he told you he loved you, a laugh erupted deep from your belly. Dumbfounded, he asked, "The hell is so funny?" his own laugh betraying his attempt to be solemn. It was hilarious to you that he didn't think you already knew that and that he didn't know you absolutely felt the same.

Another day, you were lying in Arthur's lap in the grass. Just the day before, he had returned to camp with bruised knuckles and some poor fool's blood on his face—one of Strauss's clients. You longed for a life where bruised knuckles and loan sharking were distant memories.

"Where would you be if you weren't here," you'd asked, holding his hand in yours. He stroked your thumb with his and gazed over the valley like always.

"Hard to imagine." He mumbled, sounding far away.

You nodded in agreement and replied, "You're always writing or drawing in your notebook. Maybe you could've been an artist or a writer." The thought brought a soft smile to your face, and you imagined, just for a second, a life where Arthur's biggest worry was perfecting his latest masterpiece.

He huffed in dry amusement, "Probably wouldn't have known how to read if it weren't for Dutch and Hosea."

You assented again and sighed, the smile on your face growing wider.

 "Arthur Morgan: author and illustrator." You held your hands up in dramatic fashion as if envisioning the words in front of you. Then you untangled yourself from him and sat up, "You could, you know? It's not too late. Maybe a biography?"

"A story about my life, huh?" He looked at you with a dumb smile, "I think a book about dirt would be more interestin'." He bobbed his head up and down as if nodding made his thought more true. You shoved him playfully, and he raised his eyebrow at you and held out his hands questionly. "What? There's all different kinds of dirt," he started counting on his fingers." Brown dirt, red dirt, hard dirt—"

You cut him off, "I'm serious, Arthur! This life…it ain't one normal folks live." A shit-eating grin crept up his face as he fought not to make another joke at his own expense. He shoved it down and kept listening. "Sure, it's just your life to you, but other people might find it interesting, exciting, even."

He thought for a second, then put his hands in the air, mimicking you, "The Confessions of Arthur Morgan: The Detailed Life of a Gunslinger by Arthur Morgan. Sounds like a Pinkerton's wet dream."

 "I see what you mean," you trail off, fingers playing in the grass. "Could change the name. People publish under a different name all the time. There's a word for that, I think."

"Pseudonym," he responded, his accent thick. "Think it's got one of those silent letters in front." He said it so matter of factly, and it confirmed what you already knew about him: he was far more intelligent than anybody ever gave him credit for. Still, you left the idea alone and thought Arthur had, too.

Then, on another afternoon in the fields near Little Creek River, he spoke out of nowhere. "Arthur Callahan or Tacitus Kilgore?" 

"Hmm?" you asked, barely glancing up from your book.

"For the pen name," he confirmed, scratching his chin thoughtfully. 

From that day on, your trips to Little Creek River became writing sessions. He bought a notebook that you two would trade off, coming up with ideas for the dramatized life of the gunslinger. You'd taken some creative liberties, and the story wasn't exactly a biography anymore. It had shaped into a Western love story. Arthur Callahan, after living a bad life, met someone who made him want to be better, an angel sent to rescue the devil himself. Arthur Callahan would get the perfect ending; a normal life. It was all Arthur's idea. 

"It's not my story; it's ours," he'd told you. 

You had been daydreaming about the possibilities for your novel for some time, but the chaos of life with the gang left little room to focus on it. The sudden move from Horseshoe Overlook to Clemens Point made things worse. Somewhere in the move, the manuscript was lost or destroyed—either way, it was gone. You couldn't hold back your tears during your next trip to Big Valley. Arthur's big hands swallowed your face as his thumbs wiped your tears away.  

"Shhh, we'll rewrite it, sweetheart," he promised.

Despite Arthur's gentle nudges, you couldn't find it in you to rewrite the story. Another day, he'd invited you to ride with him, heading off to your usual spot. He'd asked once more if you were feeling up to writing again. When you rejected the idea, he shook his head, seemingly surrendering. 

"Fine! You're so damn stubborn." There was no malice in his voice, though, and his eyes twinkled a little. "Looks like I gotta take matters into my own hands." Instead of stopping the horse in the fields as usual, Arthur stopped short, cutting into nearby woods. Eventually, he halted outside of the small cabin that was Vetter's Echo and hitched the horse outside. 

"Come on," he said, helping you down. "I've got a surprise for you." You walked up the cabin's steps, and he swung the door open to a small living quarters. "It don't got a back door, and I'm pretty sure the feller living here got mauled by a bear, but it's got one of these things." He gestured to the desk in the corner of the small cabin, a typewriter sitting atop it, "I don't have the first clue about using it." So he left it for you to figure out. He'd sit on a stool beside you, reading from a notebook, and you'd type slowly at first, but as time went on, the keys felt as familiar to you as a gun trigger did to him. 

Then things started falling apart. You'd moved from Horseshoe Overlook to Clemens Point, then to Shady Bell in a matter of weeks. The men went on a job to rob the bank in St. Denis, and most didn't return. You'd forgotten about the manuscript while trying to survive and spent weeks worried about Arthur and everybody else.

Then he came home to you, waterlogged but alive. You'd never felt more relieved. He was skinny and had a persistent cough, blaming it all on his rough journey. But it didn't stop him from finishing the book as promised. He'd write whenever he had a chance, and you'd go back to the little cabin in the woods, you typing and him reading.

Then he couldn't get through a page without coughing. You listened, concern etched on your face as he told you about his coughing spell and subsequent visit to the doctor in the city. Tuberculosis: practically a death sentence. After that, he'd step back when you tried to be close to him and wouldn't let you kiss him or be intimate with him. You spent a lot of time crying while he dipped his head in profound shame. 

Weeks later, he woke you up at night, gently shaking you and whispering to not alert anyone else. "C'mon, get dressed and ride with me." He was serious, his jaw set, his voice low but demanding. You didn't know what was wrong, but dread ran through your veins. You rode far away from camp, mostly in silence, your anxiety not letting you say anything. 

"You're gonna live a good life. "he finally said, breaking the silence. Your eyes stung, and you felt a lump in your throat.

"I don't want to hear this right now, Arthur."

He shook his head, frustrated, and spoke through clenched teeth. "Listen to me." His tone made you flinch. He'd never taken on that tone with you, ever. "This whole thing with Dutch, it's over. You gotta run. Gotta get out and make a good life for yourself." 

You wanted to protest; you weren't going to leave him, not now. But then you saw the waiting stagecoach up ahead. Your heart dropped and shattered into a million pieces. You reached around him to pull the horse's reins, coming to a skidding stop. You hopped down and started shaking your head, frantic in your movements and words. 

"No, Arthur. No."

You wiped away the quickly falling tears as you turned, fast walking, almost running back to that godforsaken camp that was Beaver Hollow. Even in his sickness, it only took Arthur a few big steps to reach you, grabbing you by the waist and turning you to face him. And then you cursed at him, pounded your fists against his chest, and wailed into the night. He just pulled you close to him, squeezing you until you didn't fight anymore. He gave you a stack of cash, made you promise to run, and said he'd come find you after it was all over. But both of you knew, deep down, that you were setting eyes on each other for the last time. He kissed your head. You sobbed into his chest, only letting go when the impatient stagecoach driver beckoned you.

"Never could've imagined I'd know somebody as perfect for me as you." All you could choke out was, "I love you," over and over and over again. He slipped a folded letter into your hand and helped you into the coach filled with your things. He stood silently with his hat in his hands while you rode off into the night. You sobbed for as long as your body let you while the coach took you down to Copperhead Landing.

First, Tilly showed up with Jack, and then Sadie came with Abagail. But then John arrived bearing Arthur's hat and satchel with a look in his eyes so terrible that it brought you to a screaming sob. That night, when everybody had finally settled down to sleep, you slipped away, leaving a note of thanks and well wishes. You were alone then, the way you wanted it to be without Arthur.  

Eight years; it had been eight years since everything went to shit. In eight years, you worked your ass off with any odd jobs you could find. Keeping busy was how you cured your broken heart. You'd tried as hard as you could to forget about the life you'd once lived until you read a headline in the newspaper: MICAH BELL KILLED. The memories flooded back to you, and you returned to a place you hadn't visited in a while. You only kept 2 things from that time: a letter from Arthur and the manuscript you'd written with him. Forged in Fire, you called it. After all this time, you couldn't remember who came up with the name, but you remembered why. You two were like tempered metal; the more you walked through hellfire, the stronger you became.  

Then there was Arthur's letter. You'd read it only once before today.

"Things I wanted to say but did not have the courage to say aloud." was scrawled across the top of the page, followed by a list.

"Keep visiting Big Valley.

Keep writing.

Publish the book.

Watch every sunset.

Trust your gut.

Please, be happy."

You heard his voice through every word. He'd underlined the third point: publish the book. In that moment, you decided to take a leap. You wrote to a publisher and sent a copy of the manuscript. And that's all it took. Things went into a tailspin after that, and before you knew it, you were holding a hard copy of the manuscript you and Arthur had worked on together all that time ago.

You'd made an effort, then, to find Abigail and John and Jack. They were held up at a ranch, Beecher's Hope, and were married now. You caught up with the Marstons and apologized for hastily disappearing all those years ago. They were happy for you, and you for them. 

On your departure, John took your hand, "I don't talk about him much these days, but I don't think he loved anybody like he loved you." He paused for a moment and forced his eyes to meet yours. "He's buried out in Ambarino, near Donner Falls. Top of the mountain. I can take you." You declined John's offer but set out east toward Donner Falls the next day. 

You found him around noon and watched wistfully as an eagle flew from its spot on a rock behind the flowery grave. You fell to your knees, no longer able to control the tears flowing down your face. "I did it, my love," you choked through tears. It'd been a long, long time since you let yourself feel this pain—a longing to reach something impossible. You dabbed the tears away from your eyes and sat in the grass, hugging Forged in Fire to your chest. "Thought I'd read it to you," you spoke into the air. You opened the book, cracked the spine, and read "Chapter One: Heaven's Fall, Hell's Rise."

[talaok]

Hot teach

Pairing: Joel Miller x reader

Summary: you force Joel to go ice-skating

Warnings: none I think, just Joel being a touchy menace

A/n: I'm not gonna lie, I wrote this mostly for myself cause I went icekating today and a girl is obsessed and I couldn't help but wonder how it would have been with my man. also i do be a lil bit tipsy so forgive me if this isn't really all that great, i just wanted to write something cute to daydream about when im falling asleep

"oh c'mon babe you're not even trying!" you laughed, watching as he gripped the banister for dear life

"I am, trust me I am, this thing it's just hard" he grunted, almost falling in the process of trying to look at you

"Joel Miller" you stated, moving so you were in front of him "You've done harder things in your life" you said, raising an eyebrow, "now c'mon, take my hands and get away from there"

He sighed, looking down at those deathly ice skates attached to his feet 

"darlin' if I die 'cause of this I'll be real mad"

"you won't die" you chuckled, holding out your hands for him "now c'mon, hold onto me"

And with great difficulty, and very very slowly, he managed to do it, he was finally away from the edge of the skate rink.

"there, see, wasn't that hard"

"I wouldn't say that exactly"

"oh shut up" you rolled your eyes "Now just like I taught you: bend your knees, then lift one foot, and try to gly"

You watched as he just stood there, looking at you uncertainly

"I'll be here the whole time, I won't let go" you promised, trying to calm his nerves

"sweetheart I don't know if I'm cut out for this type of stuff"

You smiled, reducing the distance between you

"You can do it, baby" you murmured, kissing his cheek "Just give it a try, trust me"

And so he did, almost falling, but he did nonetheless.

"there" you grinned "that was good"

"you ain't gotta lie now doll" he shook his head "Those kids over there are doing better than me" he joked, his eyes going to a group of 10-year-olds to your right

You couldn't help but laugh

"I meant for the first try" you explained "You just need a little practice"

That's how the next half hour passed: practicing.

He kept holding onto you as you skated backward to follow his movements while he moved towards you, and with time, he was even able to skate by your side, his hand still in yours and at a speed slower than a turtle's, but still, it was definitely an improvement.

Convincing him to go ice skating with you hadn't been an easy task, but (as always) you had done it. I mean, it was almost Christmas and they had built a big ice skating ring so close to your house, what else were you supposed to do but drag him to it?

"you're basically a professional" You smiled as you took a break, holding on to the edge of the rink

"absolutely" he laughed "I'm sure that kid I almost killed while falling would also agree"

"Oh yes" you giggled "I'm sure he would"

A moment passed, as you let the sound of laughter and Christmas music flow into your ears 

"You're beautiful sweetheart" he murmured, his hand now holding your waist and making you face him

"where's that coming from?" you smiled, raising your hand to fix his hair, just for it to fall to his shoulder

"I've been thinking it all day, I was just a little preoccupied before" 

"is that right?"

"sure is" he smirked, the distance between you now completely gone "You're hot when you teach me stuff, y'know?"

You laughed "Oh yeah?"

"yeah" he breathed, ghosting his lips "I've got the most gorgeous teacher in the world," he said, a moment before kissing you, like really kissing you, like it didn't matter that people and kids were all around you type of kiss.

You whimpered into his mouth as his hands traveled lower to find your ass through your jeans.

"I know what you're doing mister" you purred, leaving a quick kiss on his lips again 

"oh yeah and what's that?" he asked, not giving you time to answer before he was devouring you again, his tongue exploring your mouth ever so heavenly

"I'm sorry to break it to you Miller, but you aren't gerring out of this so easily" you smiled, crushing all his hopes "We've paid for another hour, and I'm not letting it go to waste"

"sugar c'm-"

"don't even try baby" You shook your head, leaving a soft kiss on his reddened nose "you still have a lot of practice to do" you smirked, "but hey at least you've got a hot teach"

[quitealotofsodapop]

I wonder what would have happened with Wukong never gave MK up, but he was still a cub at the beginning of the series. Like, maybe MK wasn't quite a infant but still young enough to be considered a kid, like 9-12 years range, and Wukong being a good parent decided to enroll him into school under a disguise... except a school field trip results in MK getting hit in the crossfire of the newly freed DBK and a wild Dragon Girl/delivery driver (she convinced her parents it'd be a good idea for her to get to experience life like a normal, nonroyal peasant) who is picking a fight with him for messing with her home

There's one really cute fic I'm reading called "A Little Hero With A Big Destiny" where MK is just a little kid during the series while the others stay the same age. Tang and Pigsy are amazing parents, and most of the villains/threats basically go "thats a baby, I ain't fighting that".

I suppose In the case of Wukong deciding to keep MK though; you'd end up with a situation like the Post Jttw Stone Egged au where Wukong is a happy parent with his hyperactive cub.

In the absence of his mate or any other kids though, Wukong would be more protective of his Little Heaven and rarely lets Xiaotian out of his sight. MK grows up with the Stalwarts and Cousin Nezha acting as a support system. Eventually one day he starts acting up like Wukong once did and demands to go to school! Wukong can only sigh and try to figure out an easy way to ease his Prince into the modern world.

Mr Tang, teaching assistant and Monkey King-fanatic, ends up becoming the teacher/tutor for a little monkey demon nicknamed "MK" who's preparing to enter the school system. MK's parent is the worrying type and makes sure to check in every hour or so. Lessons do get a little side-tracked though, as MK is as obsessed with the Monkey King as Tang is!

So Tang starts bringing MK and his parent (a Mr Qi) to Pigsy's for lunchtime. Pigsy quickly gains new regulars, even if the older monkey demon only enjoys cooled foods. MK and Tang jointly info-dump for hours over the Journey to the West, as long as they remember to do actual school work.

Pigsy has a teenage delivery driver named Mei who MK quickly becomes attached to as an older sister-figure, she's so cool! Though, he wonders why she looks human but smells like a dragon? Wukong taught MK that it isn't polite to ask such things cus it could be a personal thing, so MK doesn't bring it up. MK is still trying to figure out how to beat Mei's high score in Super Monkey Mech.

Then one day when Mr Qi agrees to let MK join Mei on a delivery drive, the two suddenly come speeding home with MK holding a golden staff above his head.

Mr Qi starts screaming when he recognises the staff in MK's hands.

[onmyyan]

Manny Delmont HC's

A/N: The last of the boys is here but he certainly ain't the least ;) EDITED

TW'S: YANDERE, MURDER, NEEDLE MENTION(TATTOO),

By far the most unhinged member of the family and thats saying A LOT lmao

Platonic yandere for his kin, he has killed in their name and will do it again.

One of if not the most loyal person you'd ever meet.

Once he decides he likes you he turns into your own personal puppy.

If the puppy was a man who enjoyed showing his love through the most violent means at hand that is.

Smells like honey and lavender and when he can't be bothered to hide it, blood.

Shares a lot of features with his twin, except his eyes, he has the brightest in his family, and they are often clouded with mischief.

Marcos uses him as a test dummy for outfits since they look nearly identical, if looks good on Manny he can go from there.

He's been offered to model before.

Best begging face in the business, he rarely has to ask for something twice.

Has a few tattoos, there's a blank cartoon heart over his real one, plans on getting his beloveds name inked there once he finds em.

And he knows he will!

Hopeless romantic, he loves romcoms!

Especially You on Netflix(👁👄👁)

Thinks Christine should have chosen to be with the Phantom of the Opera.

Also thinks Victor should have been with Emily from A Corpse Bride.

Mask kink but we'll circle back later ;)

It stems from his love of all things Horror something be shared with his twin, if he's watching something where he picks up even a hint of romance between the Slasher and the final girl he starts kicking his feet.

Thinks the bad guys deserve love to!

Gave himself his first tattoo, a stick n poke he made himself after watching 1 YouTube video.

Yeah that got infected, but he thought scars were sick as hell plus it was a great party story.

People fall over their feet for him on the daily.

Has gotten in the most fights out of all the brothers.

He may takes some licks during them but he was scary in the way that he never stayed down, and you could tell from the blank look in his eye and the twisted grin, if he got the chance he'd put you in the ground.

Terrible singer but that doesn't stop him from belting out his favorites in the shower

He loves pop music because there are a surprising amount of songs that remind him of his specific brand of love.

He really likes reading, especially when it teaches him something new, always learning this one.

He could be at the top of his class if he put in a smidge more of effort but he likes his life, as long as he's not actively causing chaos which lets be honest is very easy for him, the teachers often turn a blind eye to his goofing off.

Had several fake Id's before he was legal just to get into clubs to see bands preform.

Has a snake named noodle.

Shes a Python. He talks to her like a person

"You would not believe my day girl."

He's lean but strong, way stronger than he looks which always catches people by surprise.

If he doesn't have something occupying his hands he will start tapping on whatever available surface and if left unattended that will turn into beatboxing.

Funny even when he isn't trying

He once kidnapped a guy who was giving his twin grief and sent a picture of his upside down body in the group chat

"Felt kinda silly idk :) "

Manny's got high expectations for anyone dating his family, he's the real reason they have the rule about vetting people with each other.

When Ricky and Gabe were fighting over that girl way back when, a much younger Manny, hating the way his usually loving siblings were at each others throats, took it upon himself to rid them of the problem.

Knowing he only meant well Ricky and Gabe concocted the system the use today, but don't tell that to Manny.

His fits always come with a body count.

Oral fixation, he's constantly chewing on something.

His only source for relationships are his insane ass family so as the baby, it's natural he'd absorb all that crazy.

His laugh is more of a cackle.

He picks stuff up super easily but also gets bored just as fast so he has this random ass assortment of skills and neat party tricks.

Like one summer he got super into gymnastics so for fun he liked to twist into a backbend and speed crawl towards his brothers in the pitch black of the night.(Ricky has passed out from this)

Adrenalin junkie, he'd gotten his first motorbike at 15 and had been chasing the high he got from that first ride since.

Gabe taught him how to fight, not because he wanted to but because Manny had a tendency to mouth off to the wrong people and Gabe couldn't always be there to defend him.

Loves playing soccer, his father wanted him to have a much more legal way of releasing that devil in him, after nailing the goalie with a ball so hard he passed out, he fell in love with the sport.

He has a mean kick, if someone pissed him off enough he'd always manage to 'accidentally' kick the ball at their softest parts.

Has a new group of friends every week, he can't help it if everyone wants a piece of him.

He meets you at a bookstore, and he seen you long before he walked over to ask for help.

He watched the gentle way you handled the books, the care you showed them as you sorted, he could see you bobbing your head to the song softly playing from some speaker, the beams of light pouring in from the window cast you in a light that was damn near angelic.

He gaped at you silently for a bit before coming up with some obscure book title im his mind, if his assumptions about you were correct, you'd offer to help.

"Hi? Sorry to bug you." He put on his most charming smile and he could see it's effects instantly, the warm look in your eye gave him butterflies in his stomach.

"You're fine, how can I help you hun?" God even the way you spoke had goosebumps trailing down his back, your tone was like velvet.

"O-oh well I have this report due tomorrow that I completely spaced about- any chance you have this one?" He made sure to flash his watch, peacocking in every way he knew how, the rolex a gift from his Father, but you focused intently on the screen.

"Hmm this is an old one, I've definitely seen it, wanna follow me?"

"Absolutely." The response was innocent in nature but you had no idea just how much he meant that.

"So, you like to read or just a job thing?" He said gesturing to the rest of the store. To his delight you gave him another heart stopping smile, "I love books. How they can take you away from all the bullshit- oops sorry-" he laughed loud enough to hear it echo causing her to grin, "No don't be sorry, I wholeheartedly agree."

Ironically as picky as he was with his family's partners, he was yours the second you called him Hun, he got flashes of your life together the longer you two spoke, in reality the conversation was maybe ten minutes but that was all he needed.

Charms his way into your number, starts bringing you lunch and offering to pick you up, then he's offering to take you to work, no matter how early you started.

"I don't wanna mess with your sleep hun, plus you'd have to drive all the way across town and then to my job-"

He'd squish your cheeks together to steal a kiss, "Nonsense Darling, you could just spend the night if you're so worried about me." And would you look at that you're spending the night like every other night.

He's dummy smooth, he has you practically moved in before you're one month anniversary, if anyone were to try and plant some poison in your head like "You guys are moving kinda fast" or "shouldn't you get to know him better?" They are quickly put on his shit list.

As quick to cut a bitch as our boy is, he's also smart, and knows if everyone in your family and immediate circle started dropping dead he'd have a problem, so instead he gaslight gatekeeps and girlbosses his way to victory.

It be almost like love bombing, except it never goes away, he only ever falls deeper in love with you as time goes on.

Walk him like a dog he needs it.

Wants to take you all over the world, loves the idea of boneing in every continent.

He's soo cuddly the type to text you when you're in the bathroom cuz he miss you :(

The kinda guy where if you send him a cute picture he responds with a video of him falling to his knees wherever he's at.

Loves being the little spoon, but when he's wasted he has a tendency to flop on top of you like a starfish before curling around you like a koala.

Mean mugs the shit outta any girl who looks at him bec tf I'm for MY babys eyes only >:(

Promise rings for your one month anniversary that have both your guy's blood in them. How he got it you'll never know but you're a weirdo just like him and instead of questioning it you bear hug him.

Fantastic kisser, knocks the breath outta you each time, please touch him while you make out, pull his hair he promises not to moan that loudly again. Scouts honor.

He's lying btw

He is the opposite of afraid to moan in your ear, they almost sound exaggerated but no he's really that loud.

[your-divine-ribs]

Forbidden Part 37

Words: 2.6k

Prof Bond has an interesting way to quell Y/N’s exam anxiety // smut 🧡

I only have 2 more complete chapters of this story to post and I’m crying at the thought of Y/N not getting her Italy adventure… I have soooo many ideas though and they are WILD so hopefully I will get back into it at some point xxx

Forbidden Masterlist Main Masterlist

"But I'm not doing anything!" You cry out, guilt-stained scarlet cheeks contradicting that very fact.

You instinctively lower your phone, trying to hide it but Johnny's already seen, darting forward as quick as a flash and snatching it right out of your hand.

"You know damn well that phones are prohibited during an exam so don't act like you're not up to no good! What were you thinking?"

He waves your phone in your face and you go to grab it back off him but he moves his hand upwards and out of your reach.

"But it's not what you think..." you start, words cut off sharply as Johnny glares at you.

"Well what is it then huh?" He sneers, frown-lines carved deep on his forehead. "Was this just a ploy to get out of the hall to cheat or something? Were you even feeling bad at all?" He huffs angrily. "I suppose you thought I'd be easy to play didn't ya? I'm always too damn soft with you and look where it gets me."

He shakes his head and the disappointment radiating off him cuts you unexpectedly deeply. You were expecting to be in trouble but not quite like this.

"You've got it all wrong!" You snap at him, aggrieved that he's suggesting you were using him. "I genuinely did feel terrible, I still do as a matter of fact, I wasn't putting it on... and I swear I wasn't cheating. I didn't plan this. You can check my phone if you like."

Your enthusiasm fades quickly as he holds it out to you in the flat of his hand, demanding "well go on then, unlock it."

You feel foolish all of a sudden, caught out like a silly little kid with a crush on her teacher, being caught writing sappy love-notes in class. You reach over and tap in the security code, wincing as the screen comes to life and Johnny brings it up to eye level to read your unsent message. He's quiet for a moment, his expression unreadable, and then his eyes flick down to you. He looks even more disappointed in you than before.

"For Christ sake Y/N, this is what you'd risk facing an academic misconduct investigation for is it?"

"I never sent it," you mumble, feeling small and naive, hanging your head. "I wasn't even going to. I was just... errr... I was just..."

"Just what?" He steps forward, fingers curled under your chin to tilt your face up to his. "Just going to throw away your whole future over a fling with your Professor? What... things are that serious between the two of you now that you couldn't even wait until the exam was over to message him? He's more important than getting your degree?"

"Of course not, I forgot I even had my phone on me until just now... and it's not like that with Van... not at all."

You hate the childish whine in your voice. Johnny's not backing off, not letting you shy away. He looks angry and you can feel your anxiety rising again, bubbling up to break through the calm he'd coaxed from you just minutes before.

"I told him," he mutters through gritted teeth. "I fucking told him to be careful. It's bad enough him playing around with you in the first place, but when feelings start getting involved..."

"Who said anything about feelings?" You challenge, but the fact your bottom lip trembles and your eyes are glossy with unspilt tears as you say the words tells him all he needs to know.

"Jesus... this is worse than I thought. You're bloody falling for him ain't ya? I knew this'd happen."

"No!" You cry, loud enough that Johnny's eyes dart to the door, conscious of disturbing the quiet of the exam hall only metres away even though there's two closed doors between to muffle the sound. "That's ridiculous! I can't believe you'd think that just from a stupid message that I had no intention of sending anyway. This thing with Van is literally just a bit of fun, that's all, it's nothing serious. You obviously don't know me as well as you think, I'm getting my kicks just like he is. It doesn't mean anything!"

Fuck... you wonder how many times you've got to say the words before you start actually believing them. The shaking's starting up again, little shivers shooting up your body as you feel the tears start to well until one overspills. You shoot up a hand to stem it and Johnny's expression crumples, softening immediately.

"Shit... don't start crying again. C'mon love, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lose my temper. It's Van I'm mad at, not you. You've got such a bright future and I can't believe he's willing to let ya jeopardise all that."

He's stroking your arm again, fingers smoothing down from your bare shoulder in a reassuring touch whilst you sniff pathetically. You were anxious before but you're despairing now. It's not just this whole mess with Van either, the prospect of getting kicked off your course for a stupid reckless moment of bad judgement is hanging over you like the black cloud of fate. Why couldn't you just have waited?

"You're gonna report me aren't you?" You say, teary eyes fixed on Johnny whilst you nervously gnaw at your bottom lip. "That's it then I guess. No one's gonna believe I wasn't cheating."

He sighs deeply. "I should report you. You're breaking every rule in the book... again." A smile breaks through, tentative but it's there, enough to spark a tiny seed of hope. "Just like I break every rule when you're around... again."

"You mean... you are or you're not?" You ask uncertainly.

"Don't make me regret this love," he says softly, sliding your phone into his back pocket whilst the other hand moves down to rest on your bare leg just above your knee. "I'll hold on to your phone until after the exam and we'll keep this just between you and me. No one needs to know."

"Oh my god thank you!" You gush, reaching up to grab the lapels of his shirt and tugging him towards you, planting an enthusiastic kiss on his lips that has him chuckling, his eyes bright as you pull back. "I don't know how you'd ever think for one minute that I'd use you though. I'd never do that. You're too good to me."

"Yeah well..." he smiles, both hands on your legs now, sliding them up until they brush the hem of your skirt, his large palms warm on your soft skin. "Just because I'm a bloody pushover with you don't think you can get away with everything. Now I want you to go back in there and sit this exam and do brilliant, alright? 'Cause you're more than capable."

His words of encouragement are a comforting gesture but you're still feeling shaky, anxiety lingering at the prospect of taking your seat back in the busy hall and sitting such an important exam.

"I'll try," you say in a small voice. "My nerves are shot though. My insides feel all jumbled up and tied in a knot, my head's fucked... it's all in there but I just get so uptight sitting exams I struggle to remember stuff. I hate it."

"You can do it Y/N, I believe in ya. Just gotta believe in yourself, okay? Take a few more deep breaths, you'll be right in no time."

He grips your thighs gently, kneading lightly at your flesh. You know he's trying to relax you but the action makes your heart skip, your breathing automatically deepening but for all the wrong reasons. You let out a small giggle at your untimely arousal. Only you could get turned on in such a high stress situation like this.

"What's so funny?" He asks as you shake your head, unsuccessfully trying to bite back the grin that curves your lips.

"Nothing," you reply, a hint of playfulness in your voice. "I was just thinking that feels nice is all. You've got such a soft, gentle touch. It's certainly taking my mind off all the stress."

"Oh aye?" He murmurs, his fingers flexing, moving higher to dip under the hem of your skirt, making your breath catch. "You know what's even better for stress relief?"

"Nuh-huh but I'd love you to tell me."

His eyes have darkened, the soft smirk he's wearing unmistakably mischievous. It stuns you that he's playing along, his usual nurturing guidance morphing into something less than wholesome as his touch creeps higher still. You'd have thought he'd be ushering you back into the hall by now, keen for you not to miss out on valuable time but this naughty turn of events is as welcome as it's unexpected. You figure there's still sufficient time until you need to be back in your seat. You ease your legs even further apart, meeting his heated gaze whilst you wait for his reply.

"Did ya know that your body releases endorphins when you come? Oxytocin too..." He pushes your legs even wider apart which causes your skirt to bunch up around your hips. "It's the perfect way to combat anxiety, relaxes you no end."

"Here you go again," you laugh. "I thought you taught history, not biology?" Your breath catches as he presses the pad of his thumb purposefully against the soft cotton of your underwear right over your clit.

"I'm a man of many talents don't ya know," he grins, applying a little more pressure, tantalising and delicious. All of a sudden your exam worries are inconsequential as you let out a breathy sigh.

"Well, why don't you show me then?"

"We don't have much time," he states, but he evidently thinks that there's enough. There's always enough time for you. The act of pleasuring you is sweet satisfaction in itself, the seductive temptation you exude obliterating his good intentions. So much for his 'no sex on campus' rule.

He maintains eye contact with you as he quickly sinks down on to his knees on the floor so he's on a level with where you're sitting.

"But what if someone..." you begin but your words trail off as he pushes your thighs firmly apart and leans in to you, nosing at your cotton-clad core, his breath hot through the thin fabric.

"Don't worry about that love, I'll be quick. Gonna give you exactly what you need to get rid of all that tension."

You can barely believe what's happening, just minutes ago you were in the throes of a panic attack, being hauled out of the exam by the kindly Professor. Even sooner you'd thought you might be in serious trouble, but now you've got Johnny situated between your spread thighs, his total devotion to getting you off apparent. He plants soft, wet kisses against your clothed heat, his tongue darting out to moisten the material as you whimper softly for him.

"Johnny, please," you breathe, threading your fingers through his hair, tugging on it to pull him closer, needing more. Your hips are already twitching in anticipation, pressing upwards to entice his mouth to your bare skin.

"I've got you love but you gotta be quiet. Think you can manage that for once? You gonna behave for me?"

"Mmm... yeah," you sigh, shivering at the feeling of his hot breath tickling your sensitive skin.

He kisses your thighs, down to your knee and back up again on both sides until your cunt's pulsing with need. He's not teasing today, on a mission to please. Time is tight but he's fully confident that he can deliver on his promise, hooking a finger under the seam of your panties to pull them aside, groaning softly at the sight before him.

"Beautiful," he murmurs, fingers swirling through your folds, pushing your pussy lips gently apart to expose your clit. You hiss when you feel his tongue on you, hot, wet blissful strokes that immediately make you keen for him.

"Oh my god," you breathe, leaning back on your hands, your head thrown back. Your body curves prettily to angle yourself just right to grind against his mouth.

"Taste so fucking sweet," he hums in appreciation, hands reaching around so he can grab handfuls of your ass to pull you even closer. He slides you across the table top until you're perched on the very edge and you wrap your legs around his back, heels digging in, holding him exactly where you want him. You're pressed so tightly against him it's a wonder he can still breathe but he doesn't falter, tongue fucking you eagerly until you're vibrating with pleasure, the neediest, sluttiest moans dripping from your parted lips.

He absolutely devours you, his tongue dipping inside you before he's flicking it over your clit again and again, leaving you no time to catch your breath. It's intense and unrelenting, the shocks of pleasure running through you almost unbearable, your heart thrumming wildly as you succumb to pure unfiltered bliss.

"Don't stop," you moan in desperation as you feel fiery pressure igniting in your core. "Fuck... I'm so close, don't stop... please."

It's one of the most heavenly things you've ever felt, the pleasurable roughness of his scruff scratching at your inner thighs a blissful contrast to the soft sloppy wetness of his tongue. Your legs clamp around his head and your pleas spur him on, his filthy moans and hums bouncing off the walls of the small room.

"That's it darlin', that's it," he murmurs into your slickness, bring a thumb around to swipe circles over your clit so he can watch you start to shudder and fall apart above him. "Let go for me... good girl... just like that."

When you come you don't manage it quietly, his name tumbling from your lips like a prayer and your fingers tangled in his dark curls. You're a trembling mess as he continues to lap at you, gently now to bring you down from the crest of your peak as you stutter out shaky breaths, your mind hazed over in post-orgasmic bliss.

You can't help the breathless chuckle that escapes you, your body twitching with little aftershocks as a pleasant warmth filters into your veins. You reach down to grasp his collar again, tugging until he rises up on to his feet. He bows down over you, lips brushing your neck as he murmurs out a confession against your skin.

"I reckon I could eat you out for hours ya know."

"Shame we don't have that luxury," you reply with a satisfied sigh. Despite your words you find yourself reaching down to seek the hardness which you know will be straining against his jeans, delighted when his breath catches with a frustrated groan.

"Not now, but just wait 'til we're in Italy... we'll have all the time that we like..." He pulls back, gazing down on you, hands planted on the table on either side of you, eyes glowing with warmth. "Think I'm just gonna steal you away... keep ya hostage in my hotel room. No one'll be able to find you... not even Van... I'll have you all to myself."

Even the mention of Van’s name doesn't faze you now, you just smirk back at Johnny, an alluring little smile full of the promise of pleasures to come. You feel strangely vitalised, full of positive energy. You can do this. You can sit your exams, you can succeed. In fact you can do anything that you set your mind to.

And you can do it all without Van.

[milehighmegs]

On the Subject of AuDHD: An Admission

CW: discussion but not recounting of abuse & bullying

SO. I've spent the last several hours watching various TEDx Talks about ADHD & autism on YouTube. Granted, I've done this in lieu of doing my homework, because, well... ADHD. If you've got it, you get it. Oh I understand PERFECTLY what this means: scrambling to complete my assignments later today or even tomorrow, carrying the weight of guilt, shame, & self-flagellation of not having done what I was "supposed" to do when I had the opportunity... but I've spent my life doing that, so it ain't my first rodeo. Thanks, executive dysfunction.

Most of what I've been watching today has to do with the subject of masking; in short, masking is what ND people do to be seen as "normal," "fitting in," or being deemed "acceptable" by society at large. The biggest problem with masking is that it not only deprives the world of what we ND folks have to offer in terms of differing perspectives, new ideas, & innovative thinking; it deprives US of connecting with a clear & open identity of ourselves, and in the process suppressing those things that make us unique, excited, & truly engaged with ourselves and the world. It also creates an insane amount of self-doubt, with a sizeable helping of imposter syndrome, when we finally realize that dropping the mask is the best thing we can do for ourselves, but have zero clue as to how to go about it.

As a child, I had no mask. For me, this translated into having no filter. Not on my behavior, not on my reactions & responses, and certainly not on my mouth. Around the age of 5, I had developed enough cognitively to recognize- if not understand- that most people were uncomfortable with my lack of filter, and those in positions of authority or just age-based seniority made sure I knew it. My mouth got me into a LOT of trouble, mostly because I would say things that were "disrespectful" (and I don't mean slurs or bullying; I would usually just say things to an adult that would contradict them or prove them wrong and they didn't like it). I have been described throughout my entire life as having an "attitude problem;" read: they didn't like my attitude because it conflicted with their level of entitlement & perceived authority. This has in a lot of ways diminished, probably because I've reached a point where I can claim age-based authority, but much more so because I've learned to bite my tongue just to keep the so-called peace.

Being a highly sensitive person means that I often have issues with emotional regulation, but I learned from age 5 on that I was not allowed to be an emotional person. My parents, and particularly my mother, are extremely uncomfortable with any show of emotion. We are NOT a touchy-feely family. We do not talk about our feelings. We do not show our feelings, not even to each other, and especially not in public. Anger was okay to a point, but happiness? Sadness? Frustration? Not allowed. So you can imagine what this was like for me growing up: an AFAB kid in the 90's with undiagnosed ADHD and autism, who was branded as "gifted" early on, only to burn out in high school when classes were either so easy that they became boring, or so challenging that I would cry over a single algebra problem that I could not, no matter how hard I tried, get right.

As my brain developed further, I may have struggled with social cues from peers (and I still do), but I was keenly aware that me being me was not okay at home. This was where I first learned to mask. If I had a tough day at school (I was bullied for being a little weird, a little too smart, a lot too small, etc.), I didn't tell my parents. I didn't tell my teachers. Why? Because I learned early that adults would blow it off as me being too sensitive and/or too dramatic. That's what happens to sensitive kids. Everything, no matter how real or how awful, becomes a "cry for attention." At that time, I wasn't struggling academically; I was struggling socially, but no one who could have helped was willing to. So I learned to mask at school, too. It took a really awful incident for me to learn that lesson. With teachers & peers alike, I pretended. I faked it. I LIED. About who I was, about how I felt, about how I was doing.

Deprived of connection, of affection, and of basic acceptance, I tried for a few years to fit in with whatever crowd I was running with or who I was trying to impress. Until my junior year of high school when I threw all that onto a proverbial funeral pyre and dove headfirst into the deep end of being the "goth chick." I felt, for the first time in my life, that I was expressing myself in a truly authentic way, but- of course- no one took me seriously, and it was blown off as being a phase (spoiler alert: it wasn't a phase). I was called a poser because my first two years of high school had been me trying on various looks, various personas, various MASKS, trying to find the one that felt the least uncomfortable while also being the most socially acceptable. As a middle-class choir girl with a (on the surface) good home life and decent academic performance, why in the world I'd walk around in fishnets, black rubber bracelets, 3-inch platform knee-high lace-up boots, and dyed-burgundy hair hanging 3 feet straight down from my scalp was beyond everyone's comprehension. I gave no fucks. I was, at least on the outside, being honest with myself, and- to a degree- honest with others about who I really was.

The problem was that I couldn't tell anyone that I was still disconnected, still starved for affection, and still struggling to feel accepted, even by my fellow "freaks." So, I didn't realize it at the time, but I used my "fuck off" appearance to push people away before they had a chance to push me away for being too much. I rejected them before they had a chance to reject me. I put up barriers to acceptance from the get-go by rejecting the supposed ideals of what being a teenager at that time meant, and swung in the complete opposite direction, boldly & brazenly, just to drive home the point. This all changed drastically not long after graduation.

I had joined the military, but lasted only 7 months because I opted out upon becoming pregnant with my daughter. Her father, my first husband, was verbally abusive: he ridiculed the way I dressed (I was still goth), pointed out the weight I'd gained carrying HIS child, insulted my faith (I'm pagan, he was a devout Christian)... he expected that because I'd become his wife & babymama that I would just convert and change who I was because he had a rep to protect. No thank you. That marriage ended. But it left me with severe emotional scars. If the man who had claimed to love me, who had vowed to protect & respect me, could hurt me so deeply, what hope did I have with the rest of the world? The mask parade started all over again.

I spent 20 years after that putting on mask after mask after mask. None felt good. None felt right. Every time the mask got too heavy, too smothering, I'd take it off and lose someone or something else in my life. A friend. A romantic partner. A job. I tried to be a wife & mom two other times after my first disastrous performance. I was thrice divorced before age 36, with two kids by two different fathers, no career, no home of my own, and no future to speak of. In short, by the time I gathered the courage to relocate to a new state in the middle of a pandemic, I had no hope.

The Covid Times™ were awful. But if there was one good thing that came out of them, it was that the amount of time I spent watching Netflix & Prime ultimately led me to find my purpose & passion in life; I'm currently working on a degree to do the job I never knew I wanted. But the other benefit was having all that time to doomscroll social media, where I learned that a few of my old high school friends had recently been diagnosed with an array of ND conditions, mostly autism & ADHD. As kids in the 90's, a lot of the AMAB kids got ADD diagnoses and were pumped full of ritalin, but us AFABs were left in the dust. And NO ONE would have suspected autism in any of us because at that time, autism was a very different thing; there was no spectrum, just a narrow set of criteria that included savantism, being non-verbal, and/or seemingly random bouts of rage or tantrums over seemingly small incidents. Those of us who spoke, tied our shoes, and fed ourselves would never have been placed in the autism category. It was sad, looking back on it now, because it would have made so many things make so much more sense, and could have made our difficult childhood-into-adulthood transitions so much simpler.

But back to the masks. Because I spent so much time alone, stuck in my apartment with only my cat for company, I learned a lot about myself, which came with a lot of negative self-talk for not being myself all these years. Now, all alone in a new state, no way to socialize or connect with new people, and all the people I knew being over a thousand miles away, I felt- at first- that I had a clean slate. But once the world started to open up more, and I started attending college on-campus, I went the opposite direction: I didn't want to be seen. Walking the halls with my head down, using self checkout everywhere I could, keeping conversation with my Lyft passengers to a minimum (or tragically way oversharing; there is no middle ground with me)... Looking back on it now, I know it's because I hadn't fully fleshed out my true identity; I was still clinging to old habits, old ways of thinking, still had a "don't notice me" wardrobe. I was still wearing a mask, but now it was totally blank. I wanted to appear as two-dimensional and as forgettable as possible. It only served to isolate me even further.

Which brings me to today. I've had to move back in with my mom (long story) at the age of nearly 43, and while I'm excited about my first semester at a state-level university, I'm back to being fully online so I'm not connecting with my fellow students. Mom is still emotionally distant, I have no friends here, and I'm as single as it gets, so I'm still starved for affection. And though I've found something of a community online, here on tumblr and in other places, having recently come out as genderfluid, I still feel isolated thanks to imposter syndrome. I finally unmasked that particular part of myself, and I'm proud to have done so, but not having been part of this community for long, I feel like it's going to take extra hard work to feel accepted into it. And I'm still masking in other ways: just this morning, I woke up in a shit mood, and I snapped at my mom a bit before admitting to said shit mood. She said, "Then take your shit mood and go away." So I did. And I've locked myself in the study since, watching YouTube videos on ADHD & autism masking, and writing this.

I doubt it ever occured to her that my shit mood would have gone away if she had just asked me what my shit mood was about, and then listened openly to my worries about school, money, and my fresh fears around my genderfluidity. But I was raised to not just wear the mask; I was raised to BE the mask. To not just put it on, but to BECOME it. I was taught, from a very early age, that I was far too much for the people around me to handle, and that I should just take myself elsewhere, disappear, conceal myself, don't be a burden, leave it alone, forget about it. To be forgotten. To be rejected, and to accept that rejection without question, without pain, without confusion. Bury it. Hide it. Live with it.

So where's the admission here? It's that while I'm scared of all this, I'm even more tired of not being ME. I guess it's in that I'm ready- eager even- to bust way out of my shell, to take off the mask and burn that motherfucker down, but that I'm also terrified to do so, and am totally clueless as to how. I admit that I know taking off the mask is the best thing I can do for myself, but it's become so much a part of my identity that I'm still not entirely sure who I am without it. I'm scared, terrified, that I may use my genderfluidity as just another mask; that I may use my AuDHD as just another mask. Terrified that all these things I know about myself to be true & real & authentic & all that are really just masks in disguise, if that make any sense at all. Just new masks being created in a desperate attempt to be accepted by anyone, anywhere. In other words, is this imposter syndrome? Or am I just an imposter? I don't have any real way to know unless I fully live out what I'm feeling instead of hiding it from others, and ultimately hiding it from myself. Maybe when I get to the end of this paragraph, I'll have a better idea of what to do.

Until then, thank you for reading this far. Have some potatoes.

[spacelizzbian]

Ahsoka s1 ep6

Love how they reminded us of the fact that there are "former imperials working at every level in the new republic" ain't no way they're getting back to the normal galaxy this episode? like bro, dw I didn't forget the New Republic kinda sucks 😂

Deadass thought Ahsoka was gonna spill on her world between worlds experience 💀

Hm, Ahsoka seeing Sabine giving the enemy the map as a fault of her own shortcomings as a teacher when it shows that she really was Anakin's padawan.

Urging Sabine to do what's right and putting feelings aside, while being unable to do that herself and fearing what could happen because of it..... this coming after the episode where Anakin's legacy and Ahsoka's unease with it was explored is 😭😭

Though it is throwing me off that she's still saying the same stuff as before her epithany last episode?

I understand it would be too easy if those fears caused by Anakin's betrayal would be healed after one episode and they probably wanna save that moment for a more exciting scene than her and Huyang sitting in the mouth of a space whale. But it'd have been better if Ahsoka showed that she has progressed in this regard?

I cannot believe they did the cheesiest thing and actually had Huyang say the thing.

This show so corny I love it

Pour one out for the Wolfren people, there was a prison on board lmao

God I hope he keeps his promise, he's a more interesting dark sider if he does

Something about them being so far from civilisation is actually creeping me out....

They were in hyperspace for all of the events of last episode, probably longer, that distance between galaxies is incomprehensible.

If anyone gets stranded or hurt they'd be so far away from help, the typical "fleet arrives to the rescue" at the last second can't happen now.

I don't think it's ever sunk in for me how hopeless Ezra must've felt being stranded here

A signal?!? Really??? That was fast lol

You know, for a literal different galaxy, I'd have expected this planet to look funkier.

Even Dathomir looked more mythical than this

I guess I take back all that dreadful pondering about being stranded far from home in a deserted galaxy cause apparantly there are fucking people living here

ok sure

Poor Sabine, not Jedi enough for Huyang, too Jedi for them witches 😔

I swear to god if they show us another iteration of order 66

I don't think I've ever commented on Shin and Baylan's designs but I love how they almost have a game of thrones fantasy knight vibe about them. Makes sense as this convo suggests they seek glory from the past.

Props to Kevin Kiner, the music is stealing Thrawn's intro scene

Wild guess Im throwing out there, Enoch is Ezra but like ... brainwashed as Savage was

Either that or he is deep undercover as one of those stormtroopers, that def sounds like something he'd do

Bro why there so much familiar kind of typical star wars life on this DIFFERENT galaxy?? 💀

OH HE JUST A BIG LIL PUPPER 🥺🥺

Damn, last episode really felt like clone wars in style and this one really feels like rebels lmao

Shin self identifying as a trained Jedi? Interesting.

Her doubting what Baylan is saying?

Oh?

I cannot wait for Baylan "destroy the past" Skoll to face off against Ahsoka "recently started healing from the wounds of the past" Tano again. I can practically feel the emotional culmination of this show and Ahsoka's character concluding

Oh these creatures are gonna get fridged so bad aren't they?

Ah shucks my wild angsty guess disproven so quickly

Tho Ezra just chilling with a bunch of lil creatures is also very him

They can sense Ahsoka approaching in the whale?¿?¿? That sure is convenient for them

Lmaoooooo Morgan is so angry she's like "sOMEONE FUCKIN KILL THIS DAMN WOMAN ALREADY IVE HAD IT

👏 UP 👏 TO 👏 HERE 👏

WITH HER IMMORTAL BS"

Thrawn upon learning Ahsoka's master was Anakin: "oh, psssht, I know what buttons to push, easy"

[the-ninja-legacy-whip]

If it's not too much of a spoiler but which em are going to end up more on the antagonistic side and which will end up taking more of an ally stance?

Some characters are definitely going to have a similar role like in season 4 I imagine but considering you will give more depth to a lot of them (like for example tox who completely drowned out in the show), which roles will slightly change/more focused on?

What I'm personally guessing right now is that chamille and ash are more on the antagonistic side, skylor stays the way she was in the show while karlof might be more of an ally (since he is kai's teacher in school) as well as tox. And with the rest I absolutely don't know

-nerd anon

With Skylor, she does lean a bit more into her ~evil upbringing~ at first cuz I think there's a lot of potential there that can be explored, along with how she grows to adjust to life beyond the Archipelago, but otherwise yes she's basically just like the show.

Chamille of course is antagonistic (especially towards Lloyd for hopefully will-be-if-not-already obvious reasons) as that's been her schtick for a while (though we don't really get to see much out of it), but she definitely ain't using that power of hers for anything good.

Karlof and Tox stay good through and through, although Tox may be tempted otherwise a little ways down the line, even if only temporarily. Karlof, however, stays a good bean ;w;)/

Paleman's definitely getting fleshed out more! As mentioned on a previous ask he actually gets to have a fight in the tournament (primarily due to the inclusion of Jesse), on top of his complicated background and potential connections with Sunni :3

Griffin's already got some of the biggest spotlight out of all the "Side EMs", and I'm aiming to make him more of a (eventually friendly) rival character than a straight up antagonist. Just someone to keep the gang on their toes, mostly.

Ash isn't outright evil, but due to me rebranding him as an assassin, he definitely doesn't have the best morals all the time. Still kind of fidgeting with his character due to the fact he doesn't ever say a word (maybe I'll make him selectively mute, there's an idea) but for a wispy guy he's rather sharp around the edges *ba dum tiss*

Jacob won't have a grand role or anything, but he does get a lot of interaction with the likes of Jay and Jesse that I'm looking forward to. And in later seasons when the EMs are called upon to gather, I do plan to have him, y'know, not be missing, because unlike Chamille he does't have an excuse. C'mon man, you're part of this crazy crew too!!! (And no, I refuse to believe he was eaten by Chen's pet snake, hmph)

Gravis...I'm still workshopping. I do somewhat picture him as a neutral party when it comes to conflicts, and probably mediates when necessary, but right now I don't have him doing anything outside of the box. Yet. I'm sure once I dive more into his character I'll come up with something, haha

Shade comes off as antagonistic, but he's just an anti-social extravert hgfkjhjgfdsgfd. And this started as a crack idea (of course) buuut I thought it'd be hilarious if Sunni and/or Miranda wind up making him break his hardass facade askljhghfhgfd

Neuro generally is someone that has good intentions, but he will play both sides if he thinks it'll benefit him in the long run. Which is very easy to do when you're a mind reader. Most of the time, however, he is actually quite eager to help, and I kind of think it would be fun to have him work under/for/in relation to Borg in the future like Julien used to. But, we'll see, I'm not totally committed to the idea (I just want an excuse to see him more)

Bolobo is just out here doing his own thing to his own vibe and thriving with it skklslkslkfg. He's got some good insightful moments coming his way though~

Jesse absolutely doesn't go full antagonist whatsoever but he does have a lil' rebellious phase at one point snksnksnk

But also every EM gets a chance to kind of talk about themselves and their pasts before or after being eliminated from the tournament (preferably before but I'm going to be realistic for now), and I'm really excited to expand on the EMs dynamics with the main ninja and each other! <3

[knightotoc]

"Man would not be a world but a million worlds, a billion worlds... This is Earth. Not the eternal and only home of mankind, but only a starting point of an infinite adventure." -- The End of Eternity, Isaac Asimov, 1955

"Whether it will become a force for good or ill depends on man, and only if the United States occupies a position of pre-eminence can we help decide whether this new ocean will be a sea of peace or a new terrifying theater of war... We choose to go to the Moon. We choose to go to the Moon... We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard." -- John F. Kennedy, 1962

"Perhaps the only real moral question was whether or not he was working on a new weapon, a new means of dismembering men or destroying cities. And the answer to that was negative. They were building a vehicle to carry instruments around the solar system, and that in itself was, if not worthwhile, at least harmless." -- The Man Who Fell to Earth, Walter Tevis, 1963

"Don't say that he's hypocritical. Say rather that he's apolitical. 'Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down? That's not my department!' says Wernher von Braun." -- Tom Lehrer, 1965

"'You think I'm suffering because I'm lonely. Hell, all Mars is lonely. Much worse than this... We came back,' Pris said, 'because nobody should have to live there. It wasn't conceived for habitation, at least not within the last billion years. It's so old. You feel it in the stones, the terrible old age.'" -- Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Philip K. Dick, 1968

"Was all that money I made last year for Whitey on the moon? How come there ain't no money here? Hm! Whitey's on the moon. Y'know I just about had my fill of Whitey on the moon. I think I'll send these doctor bills, airmail special, to Whitey on the moon." -- Gil Scott-Heron, 1970

"We've grown used to wonders in this century. It's hard to dazzle us. But for 25 years the United States space program has been doing just that... We'll continue our quest in space. There will be more shuttle flights and more shuttle crews and, yes, more volunteers, more civilians, more teachers in space." -- Ronald Reagan, 1986

"We are all Godseed, but no more or less so than any other aspect of the universe. Godseed is all there is -- all that Changes. Earthseed is all that spreads Earthlife to new earths. The universe is Godseed. Only we are Earthseed. And the Destiny of Earthseed is to take root among the stars." -- Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler, 1993

"They should've sent a poet." -- Contact, dir. Robert Zemeckis, 1997

"Life reached an evolutionary milestone when it climbed onto land from the ocean, but those first fish that climbed onto land ceased to be fish. Similarly, when humans truly enter space and are freed from the Earth, they cease to be human. So, to all of you I say this: When you think about heading into outer space without looking back, please reconsider. The cost you must pay is far greater than you could imagine." -- Death's End, Liu Cixin, translated by Ken Liu, 2016

"[A]ll I saw was death." -- William Shatner, 2022

[saveourpinks]

So I came from tiktok and just HAD to say something about this show in a platform that I use more and without my face. I already Talked to a hulu agent to bring back the show so fingers crossed that works, and I'll say what this show means to me while I listen to the song "Take the Wheel" on loop which I will explain why this song in particular

So, I first saw this show as LGBT rep rec which clearly happened with Cynthia and Lydia which LET ME TELL YOU CRUSHING ME, MERELY PLAYERS, AND ALL IN BROKE ME! But I was always interested because I love Grease. But man when I watched this show I didn't think I would love it as much I did.

I related to main four specifically Cynthia, Nancy, and Jane on various levels that made me really happy. For example for the longest time I was Cynthia, I didn't want to be a "Pink Lady", I wanted to be one of the T-Birds (that now has changed thanks to Cynthia and I'm currently searching for a Pink Ladies jacket). I was too girl to hang out with boys but too boy to hang with girls to the point I didn't have a true until second grade (She's the Nancy and Olivia to my Cynthia and Jane). And Cynthia's story with Lydia made me so happy to see it ended happily AND I HOPE TO SEE MORE

But then there's Nancy. God so much of Nancy reminded me of friends and myself. Nancy's reasoning she wanted someone to love her for her and her weirdness really touched me. I'm obsessed with anime, cartoons, and musicals so I was never quite the person that was easy to like. I'm so glad I found my best friend. There's another part of Nancy I like that was more of a Headcanon so I'll wait to see if that becomes Canon. But I don't know how often listen to "Brutal Honesty"

Now Jane. God, I hate it when I say I like the main character cause it seems so basic usually but with Jane I did feel a connection. So the same best friend was happy to listen to me scream about the songs and i sent "Take the Wheel". And her first comment after was "this is your favorite song ain't it?". The reason? Because she immediately saw me within the lyrics. All my life was labeled as the "Good girl" that should know better than to cause trouble. But the Chorus of "A shameless nerd. An ambitious girl. A Rebel on the honor roll. A teacher's pet looking for good trouble. Italian, Puerto Rican. Let me be the voice of reason". I'm even Puerto Rican.... I'm not Italian tho. But the way she wants both kinda touched me because for the longest time I wanted to uphold this image, but I knew I wanted more with more a rebellious nature. So I'm excited to see how it keeps going for her.

This is long, but this what this show means to me.

[habitual-irony]

Epik High — "Antihero" English lyrics

No more teachers, no more prophets, no more heroes. E-P-I-K. Cope harder, motherfuckers! No more lessons please, take me back to zero. No remorse. No more teachers, no more prophets, no more heroes. I'm on my villain arc...

When I be on the microphone, spam the standing ovation gifs. A Park Gyu Bong instead of a baton, that's more like us. Y’all get lost in the sauce. Fame is sweet and sour. The world's tastes? I match them to me, that’s my superpower. The label OURS—my heart is carved into four letters; As soon as I got up high, I lost the high ground. If you give this world your time, it'll want your wrist. If I open myself up, soon my heart is a target. Fuck it, what’s a hero in a world full of villains, mama? If karma doesn’t do its job, I'mma kill em. Good and Evil have always been easy to swap around. Even if you fall asleep in a throne, you wake up in an electric chair.

I’m the hero you deserve, I’m the hero you need. I'm carrying this crazy world on my back. I’m an anti....(hero!) All the heroes that you serve look like villains to me. They're spinning the globe on their finger. I’m their anti....(hero!)

Yeah, repeat miracles every year, Cutting through time's cruelty. We each do 100 per person, Small-scale but a major corporation. Like taking a walk to the mart across the street, We cross the River Jordan. I'm spreading a mat and enjoying watching Drowning rappers' pleas. No one was really on my side When the world turned on me. Nothing's really changed, But after 20 years they idolize me. This ridiculous situation just makes me laugh. My fans answer in my place with a raised middle finger. I'm someone's hero And someone else's villain. I keep it classy and eat off your plate. This world's like the end of an era, but know your place— If you're not the main character, you're a B-cut anyway.

Dressed like..a sociopath, Dancin’ like a psychopath.

I’m the hero you deserve, I’m the hero you need. I'm carrying this crazy world on my back. I’m an anti....(hero!) All the heroes that you serve look like villains to me. They're spinning the globe on their finger. I’m their anti....(hero!)

(You don't know anything about me, shut up!)

Dudes who get no attention if they don't namedrop me, Wanna take shots? This ain't a bar, asshole. You wanna make gangster money? That why you're acting tough? You ain’t Biggie, you ain’t Pac. Keep your motherfuckin' music out my airpods. I still go around doing hiphop. Raindrops Fallin’ on my head. They want me dead, but I can’t stop. Even if you flip "generation," you get a "major trend."* Legend till I’m a hundred. Look at us dancin’ on your grave tops.

A crisis is a chance, So I push myself from the dirt. I reject the limits set by strangers. The possibilities have no limit. The intersection of life and death— I don't die on a road of flowers. You probably need it, The hand of God that I refused. I'm chasing glory While you're all shooting blanks. My mark is your pride. I'm aiming, hands off the trigger. Hands up, welcome me. Yeah, this is a dictatorship, The inevitable soliloquy for those who stayed silent for 21 years.

Uh, I’m an A-N-T-I. Stay on top, but my heart's here underground. I’m dancin’ on your grave, Dancin’ on your grave. Hold my phone, this is me dancin’ on your grave, hater.

What? I’m an A-N-T-I. Stay on top, but my heart's here underground. I’m dancin’ on your grave, Dancin’ on your grave For all the times all of you were dancin’ on my grave. Break!

[lazyvase]

TMNT 2036

We Ain't Came To Lose

TMNT 2036 is my own personal iteration of TMNT. I chose the year 2036 because the distance between 1987 and 2012 is almost the same as 2012 and 2036.

No piece of TMNT media is complete without the Foot Clan. Seriously, I can't think of one iteration without the Foot Clan. So now we shall go over the heroes in a half shell's greatest foes (and especially foe).

Shredder

Now, you might have noticed that I tended to say Saki more often than Shredder in my first TMNT 2036 post. Well it’s because The Shredder has some big changes in this incarnation. Most importantly, “Shredder” is a mantle/title. Not an individual’s nickname. Whoever wears the helmet (the Kuro Kabuto) is the Shredder and the leader of the Foot Clan. This is inspired by 2003 having multiple Shredders, and 2012’s whole lore for the Kuro Kabuto.

Speaking of which, the lore for the Kuro Kabuto is lifted straight from the 2012 series, verbatim. Koga Takuza is the founder of the Foot Clan in my incarnation as well.

Oroku Miyoko

Over the centuries, many people held the mantle of “Shredder”. Most notably, Oroku Miyoko. Miyoko was wholly devoted to the clan. She had her son, Saki, train harder than anyone, so that the clan could have a future. Miyoko’s health was starting to waver, and her second-in-command, Hattori Tatsu, was not much younger than her. Saki was the only guarantee for the future of the clan.

Worse, the Foot Clan was an already dying clan. Previously, the Foot Clan stayed afloat through mercenary work and security. But it was the early 2000’s (don't quote me on that) in New York. Nobody was really looking to hire ninjas when you had intimidating mercenaries who could look at a potential robber and send them running. Instead, the Foot Clan had to resort to kid’s dojos and movie extra stunt work. Around this time, if you saw a movie where a stunt double had to fight off a bunch of ninjas, the Foot Clan were almost always those ninjas.

This did not stop the Foot Clan from sliding into irrelevance. And thus, Miyoko began to consider disbanding the Foot Clan.

Hattori Tatsu

Tatsu wanted more for the Foot Clan. The Foot Clan did not deserve to live in such pathetic and meager situations. He suggested they turn to organized crime. Miyoko disagreed, and soon the two were battling to the death. Tatsu won, and became the next Shredder.

By the time the series begins, Tatsu is still in charge, and is attempting to turn the Foot Clan into the most powerful criminal organization in New York. I say attempting because the Foot Clan is still kinda pathetic. It’s outclassed by most of the other gangs in the city. Especially compared to “Fishface” and their Purple Dragon goons.

Regardless, Tatsu will do whatever it takes to keep the Foot Clan the best ninja clan in the world. This was easy, for it was the only ninja clan in the world for a long time. Or at least it was until 5 individuals with clear ninja training started causing trouble in New York’s underbelly. He’s not sure who they are, where they’re from, or how they got their training. Nevertheless, Tatsu won’t rest until this potential rival is squashed, and he knows the perfect ninja for the job.

Oroku Saki

Oroku Saki, Miyoko’s son, was one of the Foot Clan's finest warriors. Growing up, he trained hard at her bequest. She and her second-in-command, Hattori Tatsu, often told Saki tales of previous Shredders and their heroism. He grew up thinking that the Foot Clan was the greatest ninja clan in the world (which was technically not wrong). His pride and love of the clan pushed him to become their greatest warrior at a young age, even surpassing his teachers.

Those jealous of his skill often joked that he only won fights because of his “good luck charm”: his pet rat, Splinter. In all fairness, Saki took Splinter everywhere. The two were inseparable. As close as man and rat could be.

Life was good for Saki. Sure, the Foot Clan was not in the most prestigious position, but he had his family, he had respect, and he had the heart of the beautiful Foot Clan archer, Tang Shen.

Of course, things change. His mother died. Splinter disappeared. All Saki had left was the clan and Tang Shen. Things grew complicated when Tatsu turned the Foot Clan’s attention to organized crime, as Tang Shen left with this change. Saki and Shen were able to maintain their relationship, even getting married. Though Shen continued to disapprove and warn Saki of his involvement in the Foot Clan.

Saki didn’t really care about the clan’s new direction. While crime tarnished the Foot Clan’s honor and dignity, it was necessary to maintain the clan. The kid dojos and background stunt work wasn’t going to cut it. Saki did whatever Tatsu asked, all for the Foot Clan.

His skill and loyalty earned his place as Tatsu’s second-in-command AKA “Foot Elite”. Saki would be responsible for leading the many missions done by the Foot Clan: drug smuggling, weapon smuggling, assassinations, and especially grand theft. The job was demanding, as the targets were dangerous, and the ninjas were incompetent. Still, under his leadership, the Foot Clan was a decent threat. Unfortunately, Saki’s skill was not enough to make the Foot the star player in the criminal underworld. That belonged to the Purple Dragons Gang, who were the clan's criminal rival.

[Pictured above: The Foot Elite from the Mirage Comics]

Saki’s life wasn’t all too bad, however. Soon, Tang Shen had their daughter, Karai. Saki once again had a complete family. This too, would not last.

When she was old enough, Saki had Karai become a Foot trainee. Shen did not approve. The two argued over Karai’s involvement for years. When Karai completed her training and was prepared to go on her first mission, Shen put her foot down and left Saki. The two divorced. Saki kept custody of Karai due to the Foot Clan’s interference. Tatsu saw Karai as the future of the clan, and so he helped Saki win the trial.

Unfortunately for Saki, it was all for nothing. Karai now wanted nothing to do with him after the divorce. She avoided him at every opportunity, which included no longer training with Foot Clan. She threw herself into extracurriculars so she could be too busy to participate. Thankfully, Saki respected this. But, he promised Karai that if she was not in any club, sport, or job, then she would have no choice but to go back to the Foot Clan.

At the beginning of the series, Saki is still the Foot Elite. He continues leading the Foot Clan on missions. I can’t really elaborate on what Saki goes through throughout the series without explaining whole plot threads. He goes through a lot of status quo shifts. But rest assured that he’ll get his chance to shine as The Shredder.

I will go over some general character stuff. Saki grows to hate Splinter personally due to jealousy. I mean in all fairness, imagine if you found out your pet rat was living a happier life than you. Splinter is a respected warrior, has a loving family, and is not divorced. Speaking of divorce, Saki is, as they say, “chronically divorced.” He’s on facebook or whatever posting things like: “Ex-wife? More like ex-strife!”

Oroku Karai

For my incarnation, I wanted to tackle Karai being Saki’s own flesh in blood. Most incarnations, that is not the case. 2003 Karai was adopted. 2012 Karai was kidnapped. The IDW comics have Karai be a distant descendant of Saki (close but not close enough). In all the other incarnations (to my knowledge), Karai isn’t even related to Saki. Even in the original Mirage incarnation, which is kinda crazy to think about.

Regardless, I was inspired to do this by the 2012 incarnation. In the season 4 episode “The Super Shredder”, Karai tells Saki that “[he] was never her father.” While this is a great moment and made good sense, it still felt rather easy. All that time and complex history just swept away. What if it wasn’t so simple. What if Karai really had to grapple with who Shredder was. With no amount of genetic distance to help her.

Thus in my incarnation, Karai is Saki’s biological daughter, plain and simple.

Growing up, Karai’s parents argued a lot. Not wanting to be home for them, Karai threw herself into any activity that would keep her from home. And there was only one option readily available to her: The Foot Clan. Karai devoted herself to the clan, unknowingly causing her parent’s arguments to worsen.

Karai’s time in the Foot Clan was nice. She was not only their best recruit (though that wasn’t difficult due to a lack of other recruits), but also one of their finest ninjas. She gained great respect and admiration in the Foot Clan, much like her father. Speaking of which, the Foot Clan allowed her to get close to at least one of her parents. However, the best part of the Foot Clan was that she got to spend time with her best friend, Shinigami. The two met in the Foot Clan, and became attached. The two would goof off all the time during training. Much to the chagrin of Karai’s father. But, despite her father, some of Karai’s happiest moments were spending the day with Shinigami, messing with the arcade machines the Foot brought in to try (and fail) to get kids to join the Foot Clan (1990s movie reference).

And then her parents divorced. The trial took a bit of toll on her. She couldn’t stand to be around her father, so the sanctuary of the Foot Clan was no longer an option. She stopped training, and she stopped seeing Shinigami. She instead threw herself into any and all clubs, sports, and extracurricular activities she could to avoid him. Eventually, she landed on hockey, where she met her new friend: Casey Jones.

At the start of the series, Karai is a generic popular girl, bully character. Once again, she takes great pride in where she excels and does whatever she pleases. She and Casey have a great disdain for April. While I don’t have a solid reason locked in yet I have two ideas. The first is that April exposed how the school was fixing Karai and Casey’s grades as they are the captain and star player of the hockey team, respectively. They could also see April as nosy and gossipy. Maybe both.

Once again, Karai goes through a lot of status quo shifts, so I'll go over her future another time.

Khan

He is there.

Ok. Now for the real character discussion. Khan is originally a 2003 character. He is completely unremarkable in his origin show. Just being generic bad guy second-in-command.

In 2036, he’s the Foot Clan’s weakest soldier. He mainly exists in the story to show how bad and incompetent the Foot Clan is. Despite his nonexistent skill, Khan has excessive pride and ego. This usually is his downfall, as his overconfidence leads to him being horribly injured. This is a reference (at least according to TMNTpedia) to the 2003 series as well (first line in the trivia section). Regardless, he’s kept on due to his undying loyalty, and the fact that the Foot Clan cannot afford to lose members.

He looks like his 2003 counterpart, except his hair is more of a mullet and his outfit is WAY less nice and fancy. He just dresses like a normal Foot ninja.

Keno

Keno has his long awaited return as a member of the Foot Clan. This is a reference to how in his debut he joined the Foot Clan to spy for the turtles. Though for my incarnation he’s truly in it.

He’s not a prominent character. But he serves an important role. The Foot Clan goes through many changes throughout the series, and I need a character who’s on the ground floor of those changes. We need to see how the average Foot ninja deals with these.

Keno is a young recruit of the Foot Clan. He’s more focused on hand-to-hand combat and similar martial arts. He saw the Foot Clan as a way to hone his skills, not knowing the depth of their operations at the time.

Keno and Khan form a sort of duo. As Khan is trying to show Keno the ropes. The problem being that Keno is already a better fighter than him by a mile.

Despite being a member of the Foot, Keno doesn’t hate the turtles. In fact, he has a lot of respect for them and their skill.

[javiscigarette]

DROP EVERYTHING! Teacher's Pet part II is up and i read it (ofc i did, the way i rushed here—) and i am in your walls again to gush about it with you! first of all, thank you for tagging me! also, i think i read that you've been busy so thank you for still writing and finding the time and surprising us with 10k words. whaaat? you're amazing!

as always, here are some of my favourite parts, i can't help but talk about them:

"Ain't nothing to be sorry for. S’your first time. It takes practice. Now, c'mon. Try again. Nice and easy. And if this man tries to-"

But you're not in the mood for another Joel Miller Life Lesson, especially when he’s about to mention the other man who's name you can barely even remember anymore. 

i love the way he can't help himself, he always makes her feel at ease, and comfortable, and reminds her she shouldn't feel pressured and shouldn't feel ashamed about anything. anything. !!! but the way she doesn't even care anymore about the other guy is hilarious to me, this is joel miller's sex class and she is the most diligent student

But that's a problem for another day. 

For the next time.

i was writing down my reactions as i was reading so i didn't know what happens later but this part got me like - you're telling me... you're... there's gonna be a next time? she's already thinking about a next time? this is not a one-off thing? i got so excited about the prospect of that

And maybe, most likely, the words slipped out unintentionally, the heat of the moment forcing out things that he doesn’t really mean. But all the alarms and sirens in your head warning yourself to not fall too deep into this trap that is Joel Miller with his pretty words and sweet praises and soft smiles are all dead silent right now. There’s not a single part of your brain that’s trying to resist him right now. You doubt you could even if you wanted to.

i just love the way you wrote this. (like, i'm obsessed with it, i can't find words to describe it, it is so good, i keep coming back to it to read it again and again and aga—)

"If I'm the only one who gets to have you like this. If I'm the only one who's allowed to touch you. To kiss you," he says, punctuating his last word with a kiss to the center of your chest

uhmmm so gentle and hot and then this part

"Or do you plan on letting him have you too?" He asks, the tip of his tongue swirling around your nipple before closing his lips around the pebbled peak, sucking it into his mouth, his teeth lightly grazing it before he pulls back. "'Cause I'm not too keen on sharin', baby."

i died here, then continued reading as a ghost btw

It's useless, trying to avoid it. Trying to push it down, bury it, ignore it, how you've been feeling and what you want. 

this part! i'm obsessed with the way the words just roll off my tongue when i read it. there's a rhythm in my head and i love the way you wrote this and you should know that, you talented genius you

"You've been trying to sleep with me for a whole year?!"

"I wouldn’t say trying," he says with a casual shrug. "Just waiting. Wanted you to take the lead but you’re a little stubborn, baby."

just waiting. joel miller, a. man. that. you. are.

also, the fact they both admitted they had feelings for each other was something i didn't expect going into this, i thought they were gonna end up bottling it, so now that we have this turn of events, it's everything.

tl;dr: part two is passionate and hot and insane and i don't think we're ever gonna be the same.

the way you write is captivating and compelling and the fact that you can just write 10k words and have it be this !! wow! how does it feel to be this talented? you have it in spades and i'm glad to be your reader bb. and all of this for free?? unbelievable! anyway, this is just my way of saying thank you, and that i enjoyed it, and i hope you're proud of what your brain can do. i'm sorry for the lenghty message, i had to gush!!

btw this was me at jm and his filthy mouth in this part:

sorry I am so late replying to this but THANK YOUUUU BABY THIS IS SO SWEEETTTTTT!!!!!! 🥹🥹😭

I am also amazed that I managed to crank out 10k words but I fr cannot stop myself when it comes to this man and it honestly all just flowed so nicely I think I'm just in love with their dynamic :')) Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to say these lovely words they mean the whole world and more to me 🥰🫶🩷