#Tarn regrets nothing

[witchofthesouls]

I like the idea of Tourniquet being there for the bonding peroid with the second set of triplets simply because he can't be kept away and it was deemed unwise to atempt. After the Soundwave check that no spy, Camians are Just Like That™️, Soundwave is making sure he's sent for. Probably by putting a seguestion in Kaon's audial.

The DJD has a time with this. Vos may have fallen in love. Nickel approves of his bedside maner. The bitties are happy to be showered in affection.

And if this is in an Overlord being a menace timeline, well if he shows up quick enough he can help disposeof Overlord. If not well Tarn presenting Reader with Overlord's corpse for catharsis isn't too terrible.

Or, in the High Priest!Megatron verse, Tourniquet literally hitchhiked across galaxies to go track his child. Not only Tarn interacts with his creator-in-law, but Hook gets his wish on knowledgeable medical personnel willing to train.

And promptly starts to have regrets because it's a Camien Healer, but not to point to ask the mech to stop because Decepticon Medical Division needs trained staff.

Caminus is a very collectivist society as a necessity from their Seekerkin roots and pragmatism from resource deprivation. They take resourcefulness to a different ballgame.

Because of the low population and Caminus' inability to fully interact with them as he once did, they take communal responsibility very seriously, such as healthcare.

As far as the Order of Luminara is concerned, Tourniquet is on sabbatical and had requested he document any planetary systems that would aid their community. There are specific metals that are necessary for Titans to function, and they're constantly search for it.

Meanwhile, Tourniquet is ever-so-slowly "addressing critical issues" in mechs' medical records. He first sends a friendly warning. If there's no appropriate response (aka mechs coming into fix it), then Tourniquet starts hunting.

Mind, he's used to targeting vicious predators, cannibals, or lifeforms with extreme transformation sequences, and he trained with a Healer who was a devoted follower to the Path of Suffering that specialized in collecting rare samples in unstable/hazardous terrains.

The Decepticons got nothing on him. They think Tourniquet has a death wish as he constantly requests to be sent to Deathworlds or planetary systems that are extremely hazardous to mechanical lifeforms, and his body language is too 'open' as Camiens typically mingle in each other's space and aren't as reluctant to physicality.

Tourniquet can fold them like a chair with a pleasant expression on his face.

Most likely with Nurse's third clutch (second with Tarn as the ignitor) because Tarn jinxed them with his wet-cat sadness on how the first trio are growing up to run around instead of toddling on shakey pedes. He yearns for those early thousand years of soft frames and crawling struggles. One of them still has an endearing lisp because their mouth is crowded out by rows and rows of serated denta. Tarn will forever deny it, but he was mournful when the first clutch got their own room via converting Nurse's old habsuite. He got separation anxiety and empty nest syndrome. Nurse had to elbow his side because of all the sad music on replay, and it's confusing the newsparks.

But on the other hand, it would be hilarious that Overlord shifts his focus onto Tourniquet. Not only does Tarn have his in-law nearby, but he gets front row tickets to Overlord and Tourniquet having a Thing and a medical boot camp, Camien-Healer style.

This includes extreme survival training in radioactive terrain, learning effective pharmaceutical concoctions in a bucket, and close-quarter weaponry combat. Nurse helps Tourniquet with the remedial courses.

[mychlapci]

on the topic of Tarn being Megop's child, to me it would be so HGGGHRRHJR that after the war, in an IDW-esque scenario for TFOne where Megatron defects and learns how to behave, he saw Megatron and his actions through what they were. Of the sheer unwellness and hurt and anger instead of a great leader, never was about anything other than hurting Optimus through the Autobots until he realized what the fuck he was doing.

Mega never actually loved his son not out of "the greater good", he simply didn't thought of him at all because he wanted to spite Optimus and conquer everything to show "how better than" Sentinel he was as a leader. All of this was for himself and himself only, he killed, tortured, eviscerated and putted his faction in an unending war just so because he wanted to prove a point and have it better for himself.

And Optimus himself isn't better, just wanting to have the "high ground" without ever being responsible or thinking through (if we take an scenario where baby Tarn was already born when the Movie happened, where they left him with Jazz to go to the race just to prove a point). Optimus knew the state Megatron was in, he had to fight him and banish him, and yet he didn't protect Tarn against being used as a warmachine because he was way too in denial and also wanting to prove a point to reflect if it would be sane to not supervise the banishment.

And at this point Tarn knows he can't go back. And he can't ever be anything other than the warmachine his mom wanted. And he will ever be doomed to not have good or sane relationships. It's so tragic to think of how much of his life was basically having to deal with the fact that neither parent should have raised him.

(I forgor to tag all the other posts I did in the last month sorry -🟦)

Argh… Tarn has a full breakdown once he realizes that he’s been blind and his carrier never really cared about him, that Megatron didn’t love him nor hate him, he simply chose to completely forget that he had a sparkling at all… augh, the heartbreak… Everything Megatron did was just him lashing out at the world in a fit of pure rage and entitlement, Tarn once saw a leader and salvation, now he understands that his carrier was young and stupid and they all suffered for nothing… And Optimus, who clumsily tried to offer redemption to him, how come he let Megatron take him, if he truly cared?

god i’m just obsessed with Tarn suddenly recognizing the cycle of abuse happening around him but unable to stop it. hrgh… Does Megatron regret any of it? Optimus would, absolutely, he regrets all of it, not taking Tarn back, not trying hard enough to make him defect, sometimes he even regrets ever leaving to race in the Iacon 5000, maybe if he’d just stayed down and listened to D16 they could’ve had a simple, happy life…

Then of course, I absolutely think Tarn would lash out, too. Everything he knew was a lie and everything he did, all the pain and suffering he created and endured for Megatron was for nothing… Parallel to D16’s turning point being seeing Sentinel’s betrayal, Tarn’s turning point is realizing that his own carrier used him and he continues the cycle, setting out to kill Megatron…

[doctor-pharma]

❛ I could keep you safe. They’re all afraid of me. ❜

&. 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬.

"And with good reason I would say. I used to be afraid of you myself." Pharma put emphasize on the 'used to' part, perhaps to make himself feel better about admitting how scared he had been. Though the fact that he had feared Tarn had certainly been obvious to them both at the time.

"It is quite ironic... hearing those words, that promise of safety, from you of all people." A bitter irony indeed. After all Tarn had been the person the good doctor had really needed to be protected from.

Yet things were different now, in ways his past self never could have imagined.. No matter how much he mourned the past, he would never be able to get back what he had lost. His servos would never again be clean.

"I can't help but wonder why you are doing this" he said, optics looking up at the Decepticons face. That emotionless mask was giving nothing away, so he found himself focusing on that pair of ruby optics, seeking them for any hint of emotion that might answer his questions.

"Do you regret what you did to me? Are you trying to make amends or prove that you have somehow changed?" Pharma's tone became almost accusatory as he continued: "Or maybe you haven't changed at all! Maybe you simply missed manipulating me? Or you've found a new use for me?"

He bit his lower lip, now finally averting his optics. "Or worse yet... you pity me." The doctors voice had gotten significantly quieter and less angry, still he spoke the word 'pity' as though it were the worst of insults. He did not need anyone's pity, least of all Tarn's.

[critcallylowhp]

I’m guessing all of the bullying is something that Kaon regrets now once he’s with the Scav’s? Or all that regret and stuff just started happening much earlier

Oh you wouldn’t believe it-

At the beginning of the story, Kaon is trying to kind of reach out. He wants to act like the bullying didn’t really happen and just move on. Fulcrum isn’t for that- he wants nothing to do with any of them.

Then, everything with tarn happens and Fulcrum just can’t leave Kaon to stay in an abusive relationship. He offers to let him crash at their place and Kaon agrees. Kaon talks about how he’ll talk it out with Tarn and the rest of the Scavs are getting involved at that point. There’s no way he’s going back-

Kaon’s in a bad place and it only gets worse as he begins to realize how Fulcrum has changed. He’s so defensive and unsociable and just… not very trusting. Kaon starts to realize it’s because of him. So, he starts to tell himself he deserves all this bad stuff and he should move back in with Tarn for Fulcrum’s sake.

Kaon just up and leaves one day. Doesn’t say anything to anyone and goes back to Tarn. The rest of the DJD have had no clue about what all actually happened, and are happy to see things back to normal. At least until Helex is calling Misfire about picking Kaon up. Kaon had mentioned a few things to him and it sent red flags up.

They come up with a whole ass scheme to get them to pick up Kaon, cause he’s too stubborn to leave Tarn. Haven’t decided how yet, but probably get him drunk/stoned at a party and have him go home with misfire and fulcrum. Cue Kaon waking up super hungover to fulcrum snuggling up to him like the worlds lankiest koala-

They talk it all out over morning coffee and water. Fulcrum confessed that yeah, he cannot forgive Kaon for what he did, but they were also stupid kids and while they’re still stupid, they’re growing up. He’s more than willing to accept Kaon back into his life as long as he stays changed for the better. Kaon will also explain how he never really thought much about the long term parts of the bullying. He just saw it as being stupid teenagers and nothing serious.

Long story short- Kaon regrets it a lot once he starts thinking about it. It keeps him up at night at times too

[evil-towards-peace]

🥃 + "Before my alternates disappointed you, did you ever fantasize about him? And do you fantasize about me now?"

Note [ Long answer with images ]

Meme : 🥃

This question was a tricky challenging, should he answer it or chug the drink?..... he brought this time an expensive engex so he won't waste it this time therefore he kept holding his cup for a while doing circle motion mixing the glittering pink liquid...

Smaching it at the desk to splash it everywhere because he decided to accept it to tell

❝Yes I did, but that was a very long time ago, when I was a warden I rarely saw him so I was suffering from that feeling of idolising him.. i was seeking for his attention I did everything, upgraded my outlier abilities to be praised even the price was painful I had the side effects then I got the promotion to be the leader of the DJD at that time I thought I would be closer under his wing but to my surprise that task made me even not being in the same place with him only i saw him through communication screens.. I recorded every conversations with the exuse of the archive but I was listening to his voice every night to fake it that he cared about me , all that fantsizing him reduced once when he became an Autobot.❞

❝So I amied to hunt down all Megatrons when I learned about alternates because they all are the same, thinking selfishly about their own owasis of mind relaxation. So my first impression about you was you are one of them nothing will be changed...I will let you to stuck in this gun altmode till you offline but then changed my mind to torture you for a while to kill my boredom❞ deep frustrated sigh .. ❝the way I was trying to manipulated you it turned against my own plan❞....covered his mask by his servor ❝Yes.... I did..only very recently...... some fake.... imagination❞ siiiiiiiiiigh ~ shaked his head slightly trying not to regret why he wasted that cup.

❝ I've wasted 3 cups so far.... can't anyone ask me a question makes me to take a shot 🥃? I'm thirsty now❞

[lordofhunger47]

Had Enough

For most of his life Dipper got pushed and pushed by others, but even a soul as gentle as him has his limits.

As they say "There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Dipper Pines was no exception, other kids of his age experienced being the target of bullying and no one likes it, his birthmark was simply nothing more but an excuse for other kids to bully him, his younger self would have accepted his fate, wouldn't resist, wouldn't stand up and wouldn't fall to the edge.

Until that fateful Summer.

Through that life-changing trip with his sister Mabel, the things they did, the wonders and horrors they saw, the friends and enemies they made in that nexus of anomalies where normalcy has lost its meaning, it has changed them irrevocably, for better and worse.

Where Mabel was rowdy she became reserved, where Dipper was reserved he became rowdy, sometimes they have nightmares about the monsters they faced or most commonly a certain triangle which unfortunately they couldn't share with anyone but their friends from Gravity Falls or their Grunkles in messages, even then they still desired to return to that little town from Oregon. which made it even harder for them to adjust to their life in piedmont, for what the point of chasing after conspiracies if you know that all of them are true to one degree to another but can't even tell anyone?whats the point in chasing an unattainable fantasy of romance when you found the hard way that life is nothing like what your romance novels told you? what is the so-called "normal life" compared to a life of adventure?

They both become outsiders, even the overly socialized Mabel. their parents recognized it,  so as their friends,teachers and classmates in school, and rumours began in school about what happened to the Pines twins' vacation in Gravity Falls, some even say they joined a cult; nevertheless, they never realized how deep the Pines twins have truly changed until that fateful day where Dipper had finally had enough.

It was a normal day in school, with the dreadful Trigonometry from the math class, it took every ounce of their being to not freak out from the flashbacks it gave them, but it did not stop them from breathing heavily and sweating which unfortunately some in the class had noticed, including Dipper's tormentor Tarn and his cronies.

Tarn is a stereotypical bully, tall, having brains in his brawns only, bullies anyone who was weaker than him just to sate his deep-rooted insecurities and acting tough but deep down a coward.

No one was safe from being bullied by him, yet he took a particular interest in Dipper, he took every chance in making him miserable for every conceivable excuse, today he saw Dipper being anxious so he decided to wait for the break time to ridicule him like as he did just like the old days, how late he realized how wrong he was.

Dipper was in the corridor, putting his stuffs in the locker while secretly breathing deeply to calm his nerves inside of his locker, only for his tries to become undone when his tormentor came.

"Hey, Pines" from hearing that Dipper sigh, he decided to ignore him and his cronies but they keep nearing him, not that he was intimidated by him any longer, facing a literal apocalypse and real monsters would make a person too jaded to be scared of a mere bully "what? no hi from best pal? oh wait, you don't even have friends" his smugness would have been even more unbearable if it was true, except that was untrue, he made friends in his trip in Gravity Falls and thought he wasn't exactly "close" to his fellows in the book club, they at least were friendly enough to play D&D& more D with him"thought, I shouldn't surprise, who is even desperate enough to be your friend other than your own sister?"

that was it, he immediately regret paying attention to him but he did respond anyway "like you are one to talk about 'friendship'", Tarn in a moment of confusion asked, "what's that supposed to mean?"

Dipper used his arms to gesture to him "you Mr cliché only see value in others as long as they are useful to you, but you are too dumb to realize that", after that he pointed at his two friends the only reason those two so-called" friends" of yours even follow you is that you couldn't even be a bigger cliché even if you used your brain" .

arn's cronies for a second were startled by Dipper's sharp comment so as Tarn, he wasn't used to Dipper actually putting an effort; however, that quickly got replaced by a scowl and responding "what?" In a calm yet threatening tone.

Dipper replied"what? what what? are deaf? I'm calling you an outdated stereotype!" By that point everyone in the corridor was putting their attention to this, Dipper gestured to him with his finger"brawns for a brain, bully others for his low-self esteem and two minions who only follow you either because you bullied them into doing so or because they are too stupid to doing anything worthwhile!" as he pointed at his companions, then he processed to show him a paper filled with signatures which he got when last summer ended "see this? this how much so many were 'desperate' to give this to me" and then gestured to his trapper hat "see this? this was given to me by the coolest I ever met and she is like 2 years older than me! oh, you hear me, a girl thought I was cool! so let that sink into your non-existent brain of yours that a nerd has more friends than a jock like you and got closer to a girl more than you ever will be!" to emphasise his point, Dipper shut the door of his locker with a bang and walked away as he said, "honesty, I pity you".

Everyone was surprised, the normally shy boy actually stand up to himself without even the need of his twin sister, on that moment The Two douches carefully looked at Tarn whose expression conjured into shock but then suddenly into anger who decided he wasn't done yet "HEY! I'm not done with" angrily walking towards Dipper, but he ignores him and keeps walking away which only serves to get Tarn angrier "HEY!" getting close to him, and then "I am talking to you!" He pushed Dipper toward him "I said I'm talking Dip_" but he could be finished he was cut off by a sudden outburst from Dipper of all people "AND I'M NOT LISTENING!" Dipper's face changed into an expression of anger, but not of a firely one, a cold and calculated one, the one you see from a war veteran which put everyone even Tarn in shock "You think you are hot stuff because simply you are taller?! news flash! I have seen things which will turn any Robbie-wannabe like you into a gibberish mess!" As he keep pointing his fingers at Tarn's chest, Tarn's thoughts wherein a million miles an hour, he didn't know who or what is Robbie; nonetheless, he knew Dipper meant it as an insult so he pushed Dipper away and punched him in the stomach, he fell and Tarn start gloating "Big words for a little man! no wonder a co-dependent dweeb like you needs his sister to babysit him! I wonder...how Mabel would like it when I show her a real man_"

That was it, mentioning his sister was the final nail in the coffin, in a furious cry Dipper attacked him before he even finishes his sentence or much less reacts, everyone was in shock by Dipper's suddenly velocity and assault, Dipper kept punching Tarn non-stop, not leaving him even a second for him to defend himself, despite his noodle arms he shown surprising strength as blood keep getting spilt on his hands from Tarn's face and his hands starting to get injured from the sheer force of their collide to Tarn's face, yet he kept punching with extreme prejudice, all he was seeing was red, everything around him was a blur and the only thing ringing in his ears wasn't the shouts and exclaims of everyone around him but years of suppressed emotional turmoil finally let out and the laughter of mockings he received from everyone 'Yeesh! How am I related to that?' , 'who wants to bet he doesn't make it?' , 'Come on, leave him alone. He's just a little kid.', 'Look at who you're talking to, boy. I'm hosting a party for the most powerful people in the world. Do you think they'd come here if they had to rub elbows with your kind?' , 'Status update: trapped in-store with insane 9-year old',' Face it, kid, you're nothing without that journal. How are you gonna fight then? No muscles. No brains. What are you gonna do, huh? What are you gonna do!', 'Little Dipper!', I!UM!I!DO IT KID!DO SOME BRILLIANT THING THAT TAKES ME DOWN RIGHT NOW! WHATTDYA GOT PINE TREE? EVERYONE'S WAITING, DO IT!!!".

"DIPPER STOP!" He stopped, it wasn't one of the sounds in his head, but it came from his sister holding his shoulder from behind, he breathe heavily, next he looked at Tarn's demolished face which was hardly even recognizable as it turned into a bloody pulp as Tarn let out groans of pain, as he looked around he saw the shocked and scared faces of everyone and the worried look of his sister, once his gaze met with Tarn's cronies he couldn't help but reply in a threatening tone "anyone else wants to fill his shoes?" they immediately yelped and ran and the rest of the students pretended as if they have never seen the whole thing.

Shortly after, Dipper got his very first punishment from the Principal's office, although not as heavy as Tarn's since everyone knew he started it, he always bullied Dipper and went too far when he mentioned his sister and the Principal sympathize with Dipper, but, he couldn't let this go unpunished still, he gave Dipper some lectures about how to deal with bullies so that a repeat of this incident doesn't happen.

After school, his parents found out about this and reacted with a mix of hidden pride knowing that their son has finally stood up to himself and mostly worried knowing that their son needs help, so they give a pep-talk to him to make sure he deals with such events properly in future, told him if something is wrong they are here to help him and even suggest him to take self-defence classes.

When Dipper's fight reached Dipper and Mabel's chat group which consist of their friends from Gravity Falls and their Grunkles, the reactions were mixed. some like Grunkle Stan(predictably) were proud of Dipper(Grunkle Stan later got scolded by Great Uncle Ford but their bantering was in a friendly and family manner, a far cry from their heated fights in the past), whereas others found newfound respect like Wendy, even though Dipper was already worthy of being respected and loved by them and a bit of worry, the funniest reaction was Robbie who replied: "We are cool, right?".

Tomorrow, it was another boring and normal day in school, except unlike the other days, no one dared to bully him as students have seen him in a new light of fear and respect, he once stumble upon Tarn while he was busy nuzzling his broken face who upon seeing Dipper yelped and kept his distance away from him like the plague. Dipper couldn't help but smile as he processed his day, Grunkle Stan was right, being feared IS priceless.

Note:I'm sick of Dipper being a "Charlie Brown" archetype,there is a reason why there hasn't been any character with that outdated trope since GF because its dookie level of offensive,infuriating and stupid!

And it should be discouraged!

[elfelt-valentine]

you will regret this /j

generally my attitude has changed a lot for the way fandom goes about characters i care about (i just don't engage and stay in my lane), but even then i still want to see others create and fill in the gaps in the story, especially of a character like Pharma and hellhole like Delphi, and what still disappoints me is that many people see his manic state and just......... start applying it to him as his personality as-is. i cannot stand his portrayal as being willing partner of tarn, i cannot stand him being portrayed as a self-assured villain when even in text it gets pretty obvious that he really, really wasn't.

the thing with mtmte as a story is that it is interested in telling the reader that nothing is black and white (even though it still fails sometimes imo- including the case with Pharma), and extremes to which the characters personalities are warped by fandom is not Pharma-only issue. It's not even a tf fandom specific issue.

Pharma in no way is a good person. Not in a "evil" way, but in a way that he's not perfect by large margin, and the entire story with Pharma and Delphi was more of a mild horror story to me than anything else. Because we see not just the villain reveal and hint at the actual evil behind it, we see characters we're supposed to like act inappropriately (How Ratchet Got His Hands Back)

Pharma was a victim. Does it make what he did right or excusable? Of course not. But it is a clear decline in his character where he just gets worse as he gets less and less freedom in actions and agency. He's a "control freak". Of course he was going to go nuts.

We have no reason to believe he would've acted any way discriminatory (something i see very often.... take is not as offensive considering ratchets internalized functionistic views but it gets kind of ridiculous sometimes), offensive or somehow belittling people around him. For all we know he was not that different from Ratchet - just more uptight and controlling. There's so much more to be said about what their friendship was. But i swear it was not worth it if Pharma was always an ignorant, insufferable cunt.

Its not even that i dont enjoy jokes and lighthearted treatment of characters wrongs but not when its their entire portrayal and personality.

I'm not going to ask or force people to view him the exact same way i do (it is also pretty much a headcanon! we dont know enough about him prior to the events at delphi or luna 1! im just making my own conclusions!), but i also wish his character was taken more seriously. he's not a murderer for sake of murder, he's a professional who was forced into the lose-lose situation where he made wrong choices. he's not a soldier, or a strategist, he's not particularly smart, he just wanted survival and be able to continue doing his job after having done something so horrible. and after it didnt work out? what else did he have to lose? he continued falling and ratchet didnt help it at all.

genuinely cannot talk about the way pharma is treated by fandom without coming off as fun hating loser but its boiling. its boiling so hard

[whenyoulosesmallmind]

would you like to share some songs you associate with your favourite characters and why?

part one (you are here!) | part two

okay, anon, anon, my dear my lovely anon, you've gotta know that giving my most loved their own little soundtrack is one of my favourite things to do - so, buckle up! that said, since at the moment i have a huge transformers themed brainrot, this will be mostly in reference to my crack au in perpetual progress, but hold up for some unrelated special mentions! (i wanted to do them, but then it got too long, sorry ;w;)

let's start with an odd one: i first started plotting the au up with viva la vida on loop - not my usual kind of music and it doesn't have much to do anymore with the au per se, but it's a fun throwback

TARN, he's a fun one to pick music for, because in my mind he has a specific vibe that is a mix of an actually tragic character and the most stupidly comedic villain so his picks are all scattered over the place. anyway, he gets: 1. votre toast je peux vous le rendre (sang by a proper baritone this time!); obvious stand in for the empyrean suite is obvious, i love to imagine he'd listen to it and think he's cool like escamillo (bestie, you are josè at best <3), it plays right in into all of his delusions imho, 2. stars; people who pick the phantom of the opera as thee tarn theatre musical song i will personally fistfight you. THE lawful evil song - also tarn does parallel nice to javert, if you ask me, 3. tu grillo parlante; you're such a learned man / but that kind of violence / you so often speak of / we're feeling it deep inside / its sold in all the shops in the city / you should buy some, too / you'll see that you'll need it - local man preaches shit he's got all wrong, what will he do next? 4. video killed the radio star; man is so anchored to a vision of the world is blind to see how shit's changed, refuses to admits his own faults, 5. grace kelly/bathtube mermaid (i love both, i can't honestly choose); he’s worn himself so thin, a persona after the other, they’re all bleeding into each other - who are you, tarn, beside your desire to please? bonus track: Tarn & Kaon as il gatto e la volpe; second obligatory pinocchio reference but cmon: you won't regret it / we discover new talents and we're never wrong / we'll be able to make the most of your talents [...] you were so lucky to meet us / he's the cat and i'm the fox, we're a company (?) / you can trust us!, if nothing because imagining tarn and kaon as a couple of talent scouts of serial killers amuses me to no end. also it's nickel's nickname for them! except she's forgot it's the cat who's blind and the fox who’s got the limp, so she's got them switched out.

(i delight in thinking that, minus carmen's aria, tarn would absolutely loathe every song i picked for him btw)

meanwhile, DEATHSAURUS, he's a bit harder to choose for, he has less "screen"time in the comics, less fics and meta written about him, so i'm quite going more with my gut feelings and uh, mostly shit i’ve made up myself for his au version, that's it, i’m sorry. one thing i'll say, though, i think i read this fic (by warlordenfilade i think? i don't want to tag in case i'm wrong ;w;) where the author stated that deathsaurus' taste in music would probably be something like space nickleback and YES perfect headcanon, though i've cranked it up to space soad (who are actual soad, tbh, since. human au). this said, deathsaurus would probably like the picks i've got for him much more than tarn does since, musically speaking, i guess we're floating more or less on the same boat (by which i mean, it's absolutely nonsensical): 1. question!; this is more of an early life lingering feeling vibe that he's carrying on from being fresh off the MTO operating lab, seeing the war from the first time face on, raising the ladder to warwold commander and some of the insensitiveness (mental and physical both) he's developed through it. just. deathsaurus weird feelings time, 2. coming undone/right between the eyes; if i ever get to write the human au version of deathsaurus defecting this is going to be the soundtrack, full stop: the fed-upness, the rage, the blowup, it just fits in like a puzzle coming together (heh!), 3. falling away from me/lost in hollywood; if the songs from point two are the defection soundtrack these are the buildup: you’re trapped in a cicle of violence and the people who depend on you are all dying useless deaths, you have to break it but it is also the reality that you’ve known for all your life and shaped you as the person you are now, 4. i would for you; deathsaurus’ terminal “i can fix them” disease <3  bonus track(s): Deathsaurus/Esmeral as enter sandman; they became something horrible together, deathsaurus even has a couple of lines of the song tattoed on his ribcage - it used to be a favourite, you could even call it their own song. what has become of their relationship: should i stay or should i go? (and the obvious no children) Esmeral’s early pov on deathsaurus and tarn’s relationship would instead be something like somebody told me - because the army likes to gossip and i like some silliness in my drama. meanwhile, Deathsaurus’ early pov on tarn as a whole would probably be something like blame it on the girls and he would be right <3 ...and adding to the series of Nickel’s Nicknames, she calls deathsaurus capitan harlock mostly in reference to the italian version of the og opening, but the english one works as well, i suppose.

some misc: if you want to know what both NICKEL and KAON like to listen, put on some Raffaella Carrà; though nickel’s song is donatella or even lamette, tbh they’re both good for her. babylon gives me deathsaurus’ warworld vibes. i can’t point exactly out why; it’s not really in the lyrics. ride the lightning is how deathsaurus’ Thunder Arrow got its name. beside the note i made in the beginning, what actually kickstarted me to think of the whole djd as humans was this reinterpretation of un’emozione da poco (shrugs) and that’s why my version of human tarn looks a bit like Luca Marinelli ig.

[decepti-thots]

Fic recs - IDW gen

Eh, fuck it, "IDW gen fics" is as good a theme as any I decided, so here we go.

Dog of Law - Chi-chi-chimaera (gestalt1)

IDW, rated T, gen (background past pairings), ~60k

Summary:

When Rodimus and the Squad are thrown in a cell on Luna 1 by Tyrest, it isn't a small green and white mech they find waiting for them, but a small green and white turbofox.

Tags: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Dominus Ambus/Kaon(Previous), Minimus Ambus, Hot Rod | Rodimus | Rodimus Prime, The Rod Squad, Swerve (Transformers), Megatron (Transformers), Ravage (Transformers), Dominus Ambus, The Pet (Transformers), Dominus/Kaon briefly implied in Chapter 18 and 19, Alternate Universe, Turbofox Minimus, Trapped as an Animal, Brief Gore, Domestication

Notes:

This fic is a great big fun ride and I love it so much. It starts with the premise of "what if Tyrest fucked way more with Minimus on Luna-1" and takes it SO far with great flair and excellent characterisation. Also, Ravage is here and I love him.

who's a heretic now? - oriflamme

IDW, rated G, gen, ~4k

Summary:

They meet for brunch once a week.

Pharma doesn't want this. Story of his life.

And yet without fail he joins Megatron on the observation deck, drops hard into the seat across from the most prolific killer of their time, and stares blankly into the black of interstellar space until Megatron pours him a cup of gritty oil and goes back to pecking away at his datapad.

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Pharma/Megatron, Pharma (Transformers), Megatron (Transformers), Ratchet (Transformers), Drift | Deadlock, Whirl (Transformers), Velocity (Transformers), Hot Rod | Rodimus | Rodimus Prime, Brainstorm (Transformers), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye (IDW), Being Pharma is Suffering, mild body horror, Who Mourns for Adonais?, Bonding Over Brunch and Mutual Despair

Notes:

look all i have EVER WANTED is fic where pharma gets dragged kicking and screaming into the Lost Light's insistence on helping out shitty assholes despite absolutely nobody on that ship being able to avoid abject nonsense for more than 0.5 seconds. my sole regret is that this fic is not longer. it is hilarious and sincerely touching in parts and i love it SO dearly

We Forget the Names Not Written Down - FourthFloorWrites

IDW, rated T, gen (background canon pairings), ~6k

Summary:

Technically, the iapetus is correct: the planet is uninhabited. But the silo that rises over the plain, a sterile glint of white metal, suggests this was not always the case. On a planet of one there is no need for names or addresses, but remnants of each remain etched into its walls, and under the rotting floor panels evidence of a legacy can still be found, half buried in the loam.

Tags: Major Character Death, Prowl & Rewind (Transformers), Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers), Prowl (Transformers), Rewind (Transformers), Post-Canon, Epistolary, Brain Damage

Notes:

This fic came into my house, punched me in the face, invented a bunch of different feelings I do not have names for, and left. It's... uh. It's an epistolary fic set far, far post-canon about Prowl and Rewind. It's very difficult to succinctly describe. I love it and it lives in my brain rent free.

Monument To Your Sins - Enfilade

IDW, rated T, gen, ~5k

Summary:

It was as though Deathsaurus was entirely neutral in the matter, doing nothing more than holding up a mirror, and Megatron could not bear the reflection he saw in it.

Dying of the Light AU where Deathsaurus takes Megatron prisoner while Tarn fights Overlord, and prisoner and warden have a little discussion.

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Megatron (Transformers), Deathsaurus (Transformers), Prison, Consequences, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Politics

Notes:

Just as the summary says. This is a GREAT angle to mine re: Megatron in MTMTE, and after reading this, a perspective I'm sad canon doesn't have- the question of MTOs is so interesting from a character like Deathsaurus especially, who is thoroughly unsentimental about himself.

Bodies (break) - ros3bud009

IDW, rated M, gen, ~2.5k

Summary:

“What? No. Well, some of them, but most are fine. Pleasant even. Why would you ask that?”

Rung simply nodded and smiled as he slotted his digits together. It was a pleasant smile.

“Good. So you realize that you’re the problem here.”

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Minimus Ambus, Ultra Magnus, Rung (Transformers), Body Horror, In at least three different interpretations of the term, Bad Rung, Because sometimes Gods are cruel and unempathetic, Reality blurring

Notes:

I'm biased bc me and Rosey talked about a lot of the stuff covered in this fic at length before they wrote it but also that's bc it's BALLER. Weird body horror fic! It's my JAM and VERY UPSETTING and I think about this fic ALL THE TIME.

The Senator/Prime/Empurata Victim, His Warden, and the Most Miserable Little Prison Ship in Space - ckret2

IDW, rated T, gen, ~1k

Summary:

When Shockwave asked if Prowl could execute him, Prowl said no.

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Shockwave (Transformers), Prowl (Transformers), Post-Canon, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts

Notes:

The end result of these two in a tiny ship for the next god knows how many years is either going to be depressing or terrifying, and both possibilities are fascinating.

Present Tense - Infini

IDW, rated g, gen (background canon pairings), ~2.5k

Summary: A slight hiccup sends Rodimus' time-travel team back to current-day Cybertron. But this isn't the present they remember: they find themselves faced with familiar names, and an unfamiliar punishment.

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Chromedome/Rewind, Dominus Ambus/Rewind, Rodimus Prime, Perceptor (Transformers), Riptide (Transformers), Cyclonus (Transformers), Tailgate (Transformers), Chromedome (Transformers), Rewind (Transformers), Rung (Transformers), Whirl (Transformers), Minimus Ambus, Dominus Ambus, Megatron (Transformers)

Notes:

I want to read like, a 100k fic set in this version of the functionist universe about what comes after this. Hell, I wish I could WRITE it. It makes me very sad and I adore it.

[rubyversetransformers]

The Matrix Arc, Chapter Six

Punch was calm, despite the panic. Today was the day. He was finally going to get his big break. Sure his show was popular among citizens, but for the big boss reporters from places like Iacon and Vos, he was just some stupid celebrity. However, if he could expose Megatron’s crimes then he might finally get some respect from his peers. Sure, Rodion was never as strict as other Cybertronian sectors when it came to alt mode castes, but that also meant it was never really respected much. Polyhex was treated like slums, but Rodion was treated like a joke.

Punch glanced up at the display clock, then back down at his notes, then up at his cameraman Dogfight, then to the empty doorway, then to the waiting audience members, then back to his notes.

Punch looked at the camera as Dogfight gave him the thumbs up to indicate they were rolling and Punch immediately composed himself, sitting up right.

“Heeellllloooooo Cybertron, and welcome back to the show! As you all know, we’ll soon be starting our exclusive interview with the leader of the Ascenticon Party, Megatron! If you have anything you’re dying to know, make sure to send in your questions on our site, and I’ll try to get ‘em in!”

A few minutes of filler chatter later, and suddenly, booming steps began echoing down the corridor, leading to a figure in grey armor emerging from the darkness. Some of the audience were awestruck, seeing Megatron in person, and some began clapping, perhaps out of habit, perhaps out of admiration. Punch waited for the applause to die down as Megatron made his way over to the guest chair.

“Everyone please welcome our very special guest today, Megatron of Tarn!”

This time, the whole audience began clapping, except for one in the top most row, who looked absolutely horrified by the massive cannon that was strapped to Megatron’s arm. Megatron caught a glimpse of the dull red metal and the shining blue glass and choked for a second as he thanked the audience for the warm welcome.

As the audience quieted down, Punch officially began the interview.

“So, Megatron, some bots have been wondering what exactly the purpose of the Ascenticon Party is, would you mind laying it out for us?”

“Not at all, not at all. Essentially, we believe that a Cybertronian shouldn’t be limited in life just because of the alt mode they were forged with, and that those that choose to become miners or janitors or guards, etcetera, should be properly compensated for their work, and be given better overall working conditions, instead of being forced to work for measly rations in the dark.”

“Well, I suppose I should ask, didn’t Zeta Prime institute new policies during his early cycles as Prime that abolished the caste system based on alt modes?”

“While that is true, he never worked to enforce it planet wide, only in his home sector of Iacon. In Tarn, our local senator continued to enforce the caste system behind his back. Not to mention, the bills did nothing for those already forced into lower jobs. Zeta Prime laid the groundwork, sure, but he never followed through with it.”

“So would you say that perhaps led to unrest within those working such jobs? Something like, say, murderous intent?”

The audience, who had been previously quietly mumbling among themselves, suddenly burst out in a roar, realizing the implications. Orion couldn’t say anything.

“Are you trying to imply something, Punch?”

“Well, Zeta was killed with a drill type weapon. Many witnesses place miners from Tarn at the sc-”

“Are you saying that just because I disliked him, I killed him? I wasn’t even at Iacon that day, I’ll have you know, I was in Polyhex watching pit matches as I often do in my free time.”

The crowd’s roars grew louder. Orion would later come to regret this moment, as maybe, if he had said something, things could have been different. But he didn’t- he couldn’t.

Punch tried fruitlessly to retort. “I- Well-”

“Are you saying that all miners are the same to you? I suppose you suspect me in the disappearance of the Senators too, hm? You think I’m just some criminal, do you?”

“Well, no-”

Megatron turned to face the camera, pointing directly at it with his finger. “If you wish to live a life free from judgement, free from slavery, a life of unity, where we forge our own destinies, come to Tarn. You will find haven there. I will make sure there are bots stationed around to help anyone who wants to join us do so. The Ascenticons are here for you! Til all are one!”

Clearly, Dogfight took that as a cue to end recording, as he quickly shut off the camera as Megatron moved towards the crowd’s open arms. Orion had disappeared.

A few hours after Punch had been shunned out of the studio surrounded by security, Megatron had told the audience to return to their lives, as he had to as well. He started back down the dark hall, unknowingly about to run into a nervous Orion Pax.

Orion tried to get some words out, but he couldn’t even muster Megatron’s name.

Megatron resisted the urge to glance down. He too, wanted badly to say something, but it is perhaps when we need it most that the ability to form words evades us.

[pastelpaperplanes]

Okay so i kinda lost count- are there multiple couples with the same characters? (Lockdown has two kids with someone i forgot and swindle right?) Gosh i hope my confusion doesn't come off as rude or something but i'm really interested in this AU and i just wanted to know the basics on the relationships. Like who is who's partner etc. (You don't have to tell every single couple jfksbd just how it works. Like past relationships or is making-children not a big deal? :'))

OKAY SO 😅 I know it gets hella confusing with the two AUs—so I’ll make it plain and simple for the Crack AU: literally no two bots who had a sparkling together are in a steady relationship in that AU!! It’s chaos but hey that’s what that specific AU was made for!

As for the Cybertron’s Future AU, I’ll breakdown all the current Creators’ relationships just for context, a handful are unique anyways:

Optimus/Rodimus: (Envoy & Laurel you’ll meet her eventually) Happily Conjunxed together for a long while now. Both know when and where they need to be serious, but they really are a goofy couple no matter how old they are or how busy their jobs get.

Drift/Ratchet: (Reiki) Conjunxed a bit later into their relationship, Drift had some self doubts for a long while and held back from bonding, but those have been resolved with loving patience and reassurance, Reiki is their only sparkling.

Megatron/Shockwave: (Tremor) These two are not conjunxed and will probably never be. Tremor was not planned as their little off and on, mutually beneficial arraignment was supposed to be to blow off steam, ofc Tremor came along and both took responsibility. They had a co-parenting relationship from then on and nothing more!

Megatron/Sentinel : (Shamus) They didn’t even have a relationship to begin with, just a mutually really really bad idea—Shamus was not planned at all. Megatron escaped prison soon after and Sentinel would’ve rather died than contract Megatron and tell him about his condition, the two haven’t spoken since.

Percy/Wheeljack: (Datum) They’ve been conjunxed since they both completed Academy, even after Percy’s incident and being distanced through war all that time, theyre still going strong. Datum is their only sparkling!

Sentinel/Throwback: (Vedette) Pretty much the definition of the booty call relationship with the eventual baby momma situation lmao. The two met while Sentinel was a hired security guard at one of Throwback’s shows, from their they met up every now and then for the fun of it. They’re not conjunxed and probably won’t ever be.

Prowl/Lockdown: (Cozen) Prowl and Lockdown probably would not have gotten conjunxed, but they did have plans to run away after The Uprising to raise their son together, this obviously did not go as planned.

Lockdown/Swindle: (Bunco) Those two don’t have the sweetest relationship even if they do meet up frequently for deals that are NOT intimate. They could possibly bond to each other in the future, but even after having a son together they still find excuses get in eachother’s faces—MAYBE ONE DAY

Blitzwing/Bumblebee: (Katydid & Mayfly) Blitzbee is VERY happily conjunxed, their banter still puts their relationship off as if they’re still in that dumbass flirting stage. May and Di wont likely be their only two.

Blaster/Jazz: (Razzmatazz) Conjunxed after many years of dating, Razz and the Twins (now adults) and on top of their work, they won’t be having another sparkling for some time, Blaster wants a big family!!

Tarn/Pharma: (Rongeur) Pharma was the DJD’s on board medic for a long while, he was replaced by Nickle when he went back to the ‘winning side’ (the Autobots) but quickly found out he was carrying his ex captain’s sparkling not long after. Not wanting to have anything to do with the DJD OR Tarn again, he kept Rongeur’s Sire out of the loop. Rongeur doesn’t know that he’s got the coding of one of the most feared Mechs in Cybertronian history on his side.

Cyclonus/Tailgate: (Whirligig) Happily conjuxed for a long while now, they’ve got one of the strongest relationships by far and they love each other dearly. Cyclonus doesn’t like to socialize with anyone other than his conjunx and their sparkling’s godsire, Whirl.

Ultra Magnus/Master Yoketron: (Satori) They were conjunxed on secret far too early for their own good, both were young and thought it was love until their stark moral differences quickly became apparent as the Great War began. Their relationship ended nastily, but they kept their future interactions civil for the public eye. Yoketron went off the grid for a long while to hide his carriage from Ultra Magnus, fearing that their Sire would twist their sparkling into his same image. Satori ended up being raised by Wing in Crystal City. Yoketron and Ultra’s bond broke when Yoketron was later murdered, Ultra wished that Yoketron could’ve understood his methods of war and eventually stand at his side, this obviously didn’t happen and Ultra regrets everyday he didn’t ask for forgiveness from his mate. Both Creators are now with the Allspark where they can hopefully speak again and let Ultra have that chance.

Knockout/Breakdown: (Wildbreak & Dominiza) They were conjunxed mid-war while still being tied to the Deceptions, they risked their lives to ensure that their first born, Wildbreak, would be given a life far better than one growing up on a ship and born into a set faction, the two are still going strong and now love their two sparklings to death.

Hope that kinda helps anon :D

[life-rewritten]

ITSAY EP 4/5- PROTECTION, THINGS I’LL NEVER SAY AND EASY PROMOTIONS

Warning another painful post coming. Episode 5 of ITSAY trailer focuses on Oh and his decision to walk away from all things Teh and move on. This hurts so much, and because I have spent almost all of last week seeing things from Teh's point of view, I started to feel angry and disappointed at Oh. I'm not sure if that Bas scene where he's holding hands with him and swearing to be with him forever is a fantasy (I hope it is, I hope we're being misled as the trailers have done that a lot, for example, Tarn's reaction to Teh and Oh and them singing the ost to each other scene). I'm not sure if Teh will be strong enough to pass these exams if he even sees a glimpse of Oh and Bas and I'm worried for both of these twos mindsets during this. So here are things in OH's perspective before tomorrows episode comes out. And to be honest, if I cried for Teh because of his self-sabotage and hindrance, I cry for Oh because of his self-loss, doubt, and destruction. Let's begin:

Oh: Protection, Things I'll never say and Easy promotions.

Thing is from episode 1 (mirroring episode 4 and 5 in which we see the fulfilment of many clues and hints to our characters) we've seen that Oh is like this when he gets hurt: he can be resentful, secretive, and put up a front that he's good. We were introduced to his dynamic when we saw him and Teh fall out at a very young age, we saw his dreams: he didn't have one, he always gave up and didn't care about things too deeply until he started practising acting by Teh's side when they were kids. Sometimes I think he's Cancerian (Like me!), like the crab horoscope he ends up burrowing back into his shell for protection when things don't work out;

WHAT IS PROTECTION TO OH

Avoiding all things to do with Teh: Refusing to have anything in his mind connected to Teh, i.e. rejecting the application for the university, so he doesn't owe Teh. 

Returning to a safety net (something that has been proven to be safe to lean on): Having Bas; who he started of crushing on, feeling good by his side, and someone who he fell for because of his kindness, understanding and actions that show Oh is a priority to him. 

Returning to what is easy for him when it comes to feelings, and letting Teh be with Tarn. Giving up on his dreams and relying on his parents to offer him an alternative pathway; Luckily Teh has done something (given him his spot in university), and  I think him doing this though will  cause a push for him to fight again for him or just go to inquire what’s happening but I think he’ll misunderstand Teh, get hurt again and then move to Bas as we see in the trailer. 

For the protection of his mind, and heart, Oh resorts to accepting he gives up on things easily. Its easier to not invest in things when they hurt you, reverting back to the time and person he was when his friendship group was without Teh (in episode 1 which is going to mirror episode 5) and going back to the time when he was starting to heal and be confident after Teh left his side when they were kids. 

When hurt, he burrows deeply, hides away from the truth and pretends everything is fine. He warned Teh in episode 1 that he won't let him in so quickly, because he's always held resentment and self-doubt because of what he said when they fought at a young age, he warned him that their friendship wouldn't be able to go back to the way it was. Plus it took almost all of episode 2, to pry out that intimacy back with Teh we had to watch Teh lose his mind because Oh refused to open up easily and we watched Oh be scared of the intimacy and try to play it off as nothing. (I spoke about this in this post here)

Protection of Himself, Teh and Others

 So it makes sense that once he realises how much being with Teh isn't good for him (dealing with Teh's up and down feelings, losing his individuality and self-esteem rapidly, and also just breaking down to the point of exhaustion),  Oh of course snaps! He regresses back to keeping distance, he'll speak to Teh. Still, they can't be close; he'll be civil. They'll be rivals again during this exam, but they can't help each other out, because helping each other out is a hindrance for both of them with these feelings; mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

They can't focus when they're near each other; they can't think straight about themselves when it comes to the other;

 Oh can see that Teh is losing his dreams; something he would never do because he let him know how important it was to him with their first fight when young and Oh has been the person who knows how desperate Teh wants to be an actor. The very first person who believed in him and saw him prove he could do it. He's giving all that up for Oh; it's something he can't accept, something that makes him feel so guilty, uncomfortable and  feeling problematic. So he has to avoid thinking about it, he has to prevent what it means for him and Teh, he has to avoid thinking Teh didn't make his dreams come true because of him. 

On the other hand, Oh is giving up on his confidence, and pride for Teh. He's rolling around crying continuously, losing his focus on his goals, losing his love for himself, and regretting the gender he was born with. It's too much for someone like him; it's belittling, insulting and painful. 

THINGS I’LL NEVER SAY: SECRETS AND LOSS OF INDIVIDUALITY

Just Look at the things that revolve around Oh in this episode; the title of this post we have Things I'll never say shirt he wears when he and Teh give into their feelings. It's all to do with secrets and perception of self (loss of esteem, ego and self). 

With the things I'll never say, a T-shirt, that's precisely a symbol for who Oh is before Teh shows up. He likes Bas, but he's secretive, he's quiet, hidden, he's scared of being hurt, so he doesn't take that leap, he knows the consequences of it; Oh overthinks about that so instead he retreats, he hides and accepts that it's acceptable this way. 

Truth is Teh enters his life and forces him out. Teh teaches him how to trust and communicate/show how he's feeling. But it's like once he and Teh get past that line and he falls for him uncontrollably, he feels like he's back to  square one. He tries to convince Teh that it's okay if he's kept a secret, but we know it's not fine, he's regressing again, he's being forced to be hidden like he's some sin, something terrible, something that shouldn't be on the surface because he's a boy. After Teh made him feel confident and able to take steps forward, to start caring about things and being more connected with things, the result of it was just more pain, insult and exhaustion, and the most painful ironic part of it was that also was because of Teh. 

For Oh it's like he's proven right with his mindset from episode 1-2; he shouldn't get close, only to people who show repeatedly proof that they're there like Bas. It's only once he has 100% evidence that this is normal, and okay that he falls back to lean on that. 

He doesn't like things complicated; we see it when it comes to the exam,. He gets things his way generally because he's good-looking and charismatic (again shown in episode 1).  Even for acting/fame in episode 1, he got it easy because of this, when it comes to the actual hard work and the translations he struggles, he's frustrated, and he wants to give up. 

The only reason he didn't was because of Teh.  Oh knows this by the way,  about himself and he worries about it because his father also sees him in episode 1, this way. That's why he's even more frustrated and hurt when Teh calls him out on it; Everything that happens to him is because of his looks, his charisma or his connections, that's why the next title Easy promotions is also connected to him.

EASY PICKINGS/PROMOTIONS; GUILT AND SELF DEPRECIATION 

Again Chinese translations in this show are meta and used to back shadow and foreshadow what's going on with characters and the plot. In episode 4, we also see the translation for Easy promotions/pickings when Teh makes the tutorial guide for Oh. That's why he's upset when Teh gives up his space for him again; it's insulting to him because yet again he's gotten an acting spot because of something other than his hard work. 

Remember because of Teh he spent eight years working hard trying to get into the university just to prove to himself, family and friends that he also got things because of his own efforts, and his own diligence. 

Once he and Teh reverted back to rivals, it felt insulting for him because it felt like Teh was mocking him all over again with checking the test results, with giving him his spot for free or to make Oh feel grateful and go back to being friends with him. Teh was telling him  basically with his actions ‘I don't see you being able to pass this exam on your own. ‘That was another belittling thing for his self-esteem. Oh felt depreciated because of how people perceive him, Teh is the person who showed him that. 

But can you blame people, though? 

Because Oh tries to be protected from disappointments and rejection (because of that burrowing back to his protection), he seems inconsistent, fake and unreliable. 

He gives up immediately when the going gets hard; he gives up on the exams after all the hard work he did just because he no longer wanted to keep the dream with Teh, it brings the question does he really care about the acting thing or has he just be doing this all along for Teh? 

He gives up on Teh as well, and I get why he does, don't get me wrong, but still, he gives up and runs away when he feels insulted and tired. 

And from episode 5 trailer he truly moves on to the next thing and pretends everything is fine. That's not okay for me, but I get why he does it.

It's hard for me, to see how easy he moves on and gives up on things he says are important to him, to trust him when he says that acting is also his dream, but then when I look at the hard work he's put in, and the excitement he had when he told Teh in episode 1, that he wanted to join him to do it too, I still feel for him. 

Teh; Oh’s Aspiration

However, I do think it's not the acting that is his dream; it's just the being rivals with Teh and being by his side he aspired to. It's the same reason why he was meant to pass the exams, so he runs by Tehs side to scream at the sunset. Teh was his aspiration. 

And Teh revived it even more in episode 1 and 2 by coming with that suitcase of revision books to make Oh keep trying to get into acting. When he pushed for Oh to wake up and work hard and study for the test . But in Episode 4 when Teh was no longer a good source of joy in his life, he gave up and became lost and confused. 

That's why he rejected the offer when Teh gave up the acting spot to him if Teh didn't do the application why would he want to do it when the very reason he wanted to was because of Teh in the first place? 

The Bra Scene; Easy Promotions vs Vital  Rejections

The ironic thing as well about easy promotions are that even if on the surface it seems like life gives Oh everything he wants easily without effort (when perceived by people), in episode 4, he realised that life didn't give him the one thing he wanted; to be promoted/chosen as the right person for Teh. 

As he goes through his self hate, doubt and loss, he questions if he should have been born a girl if he was a girl, would everything be better? Why was he born to suffer such pain? Why didn't life make it easy for him? 

That's all he thought with the bra scene. He felt humiliated, broken and hateful that he wasn't what Teh wanted, he didn't have the boobs Teh wished to touch each time they became physical, and he didn't have the appearance Teh would have found acceptable. His sense of self warped with what Teh wanted, that's why he posted the picture of him in the bra on Instagram. 

He lost his self, mind and ego for a moment, but then it came crashing back to him that he couldn't change who he was, and he broke down because of it. By the end of the episode, he reverts back to defensive mindset because he hated how much he did lose himself because of Teh

Teh and Oh both suffer from Vital rejections, though they’ve been easily promoted with all they wanted: Teh is easily about to get everything he wants; the girlfriend, the university entrance but he rejects it because of Oh and he feels even more rejected by life towards the end for what he really and truly wanted which is Oh by his side and being grateful to him. Instead Oh rejects his sacrifice and hates him further. Oh is easily promoted in life; he gets the waiting list because of Teh, an alternate pathway if he doesn’t go to university because of his parents,  love and affection because of Bas but he also gets gets rejected from something important/vital to him Teh’s love, affection and choice because of his gender. 

See they both feel rejected when it comes to the things they really needed and the thing that was the most vital to them although they actually are being given all they wanted in the beginning of the show by life.

TEH AND OH; SELF SABOTAGE OR PROTECTION?

Teh and Oh are different when it comes to protection; 

Teh gives and tries to appease others to ease his self esteem, and his ego, he sacrifices parts of himself so people are happy and he feels protected when he's seen by what he wants others to think of him (analysis of Teh here).

 For Oh, Oh hides himself to save his ego and self esteem, he retreats and doesn't take risks because they hurt and damage everything, he lives very safely and feels protected when everything is on the surface, evident and easy to see. (Bas's feelings, his family resort, and his fame on social media) 

That's why when he cries to his parents. he realised they were fine with whatever he did, he found trust and ease following his dads wishes because it seemed more accessible and better for him, he won't be judged, he will be safe from all things Teh, and he won't have to struggle and lose his self for the exam. 

That's another reason why he rejected Teh's application. The thing is it makes it even more painful for Oh because Oh also needs Teh as he needs him; as much as on the surface we know how vital Oh is to Teh (like boy can't breathe, think or act without him, the boy needs him 24/7, is encompassed by him and addicted to him), Oh needs Teh to be his true self also.  Ironic right? 

The Dramatic Irony of Teh and Oh

Teh is the one who is making Oh doubt and lose his self-esteem, but Oh is also not Oh when he retreats. Oh doesn't deal with genuine emotions, true wishes and dreams, true self when he isn't with Teh. Teh forces him to see things and want to take a risk. Teh pushes him either by rivalry, love, hate to do things because of him, Teh makes him question what he truly wants, who he really is, want to work hard to achieve something, want to care for something, and want to be something more than what he's been easily promoted to be. 

Teh's taunts haunt him and cause him to want to be better, he spent 8 years on a goal because of Teh, he spent all of the previous episodes choosing to run back and communicate and give Teh another chance because he doesn't want to lose their friendship, Teh helps him commit and Teh helps him stick to things he cares about, but also Teh makes him brave and confident to say how he's feeling. 

For Bas, he couldn't, but when it came to Teh, he was open, ready, eager and 100% sure Teh loved him the way he did. It's ironic that the most authentic version of Oh is right next to Teh, but in episode 4 the worst version of Oh (anxious, lost, doubtful and exhausted mentally) was also right next to Teh.

Oh's self-loss is just as painful as it was for Teh. These two both love each other so much, but because they are young, they don't understand how to protect themselves adequately when it comes to the whirlwind that is feelings. Feelings are crazy, they can mess you up, break you down, make you lose everything you know or want for your self, but with the right person, they can push you, make you brave, raise you up to your potential and make you know everything you didn't know about your self. Its dramatic irony the way love and feelings can be, and with this show it even more ironic that both Teh and Oh need to be by each other's side for both of them to indeed be themselves, and be free and be loved.

Writing about Teh before already broke me and I already started to be defensive for him but now I can get kind what Oh is doing and why he’s running away. To be honest he believes that the world isn’t good when he and Teh are together destiny doesn’t want them to be together because they’re bad for each other they’re only leading each other to hurt and more pain. And it’s painful and it’s sucks because it’s not true they’re meant to be together once they mature. So I really hope we do get a good ending for these two because right now the world does seem against them in their head and really all they want to do is run away and choose each other but for the sake of people they can’t. Just like in the song and ost Skyline it does seem like destiny wants them apart so should they give up? Well Oh and Teh both have become defeated and have decided to let destiny win. Oh to protect himself and to protect Teh too, and Teh for other people sake.

 Okay now, it's back to waiting anxiously for Episode 5 finale, let's pray these two find a way back to each other, let's pray for growth and maturity and communication before its too late.  Let's pray for sunsets and reunions and confessions of true love. Wish us luck.

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS: PROMISES, SUNSETS AND MALE PROTAGONISTS

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS; XIN THE FOCUS OF THE HEART

PREVIOUS ANALYSIS: EP 4 SELF SABOTAGE, HINDRANCES AND REVERSE HELP TEH’S PERCEPTION

[petitelepus]

25 Days of MTMTE Christmas, Part 1, Decorating

It’s the start of December with Decepticon Justice Division!

In space, where there wasn’t any sign of the passing of nature’s seasons, it could be hard to tell what time of the year it actually was. You may have relied on your computer and adorable puppy calendar a little too much. As you now traveled with the infamous and feared Decepticon Justice Division, you had lost access to both of them. Every day was a new day, oblivious to whether it's your birthday or Easter... but sometimes the guys gave you hints and signs of the happenings on your home planet. It wasn't that time. Yet.

"Uh, Tess?" You looked at the giant mech standing in front of the door of your habsuite.

Tesaurus was watching you, or at least you thought he was - you could never really tell with that huge “X” across his face. He nodded his helm, silently telling you to continue.

"Why are you here? Weren't you supposed to be chasing some poor traitor with the others?"

"They didn't need me to join this one. Got me another task," he said.

You tilted your head. "What, staring at me?"

"That, and keeping you here included," he replied.

You frowned. "Tess, no offense, but I'm not a kid. You can't just lock me in my habsuite when I have done something bad."

"Orders are orders, and Tarn ordered me to keep you here," Tesaurus said as he crossed his arms over his huge blender chest.

You raised a brow at him, and copied him by crossing your arms over your chest. "I presume there isn't a way for me to persuade you to let me out?"

"Why are you so keen to get out?"

You shrugged. "I don't know. Why are you so keen on keeping me here?"

"As I said just a moment ago - Tarn ordered me to keep you out of the way."

"Out of the way? You mean they have someone captive here on the Peaceful Tyranny?"

"I never said that."

"But you implied it!"

"Look, just-!" Tesaurus rubbed the huge red “X” on his faceplate in frustration - his temper was being tested. "Just wait here until Tarn gives us permission to leave!"

"Tess, I have been with you guys for a good while. So whatever Tarn has planned, or is doing right now doesn't startle me anymore." You paused before you grinned like a Cheshire cat. "So, no reason to keep me here!" You bolted when you finished your sentence.

Tesaurus reached down to catch you, but you avoided his huge servos. You slipped between his legs, and ran to the door. You quickly placed the palm of your hand against the scanner, and the door shifted aside. You ran out just as Tesaurus tried to pick you up again. You took the route towards the main hall where most of the action took place. Tesaurus was quickly catching up with you, but he couldn’t run too fast in fear that he might squish you. You know, like chasing a hamster? You saw the doorway to the hall and burst in.

"Made it!" You yelled as you entered the room.

Tarn and the others froze when they saw you. You were grinning like you had just finished a marathon. You were so full of adrenaline that you didn't immediately notice your surroundings. When you caught your breath, you looked around the main hall in awe.

There were glowing garlands hanging from the ceiling and walls, accented by different colored orbs - bright blue, yellow, and red balls that created a beautiful glow. You turned to look at Tarn, Helex, Kaon, Vos, and Nickel, who were still frozen where they stood.

"What's all this?" You asked.

The mechs glanced at each other before Tarn turned to glare at Tesaurus, who was standing behind you awkwardly.

"Which part of ‘Keep them away’ did you not understand?”

"I'm sorry, Tarn, but they just wouldn't stay still!" Tess defended himself.

You nodded. "Yeah, Tarn. He tried, but you know me. I'm unstoppable." You smiled and looked around. "So, what is all this?"

"They're decorations," Helex said.

You looked at him. "For what? Did you catch a high-profile traitor, and now you want to celebrate?"

"Almost," Nickel said as she rolled her optics. "They're for you."

"For me?" You blinked. "Wha-What for?"

Tarn cleared his intake, and looked at you tenderly for someone that had killed countless mechs and organics for countless years. "It's that time of the year when your disgusting planet's residents celebrate the snowfall, the fat bearded human who brings gifts for well-behaved youngsters on the eve of the 25th, and the anointed human sparkling who was born on the 25th day."

"You mean Christmas?"

Helex snapped the metal digits of his smaller pair of servos. "That's it! Christmas!"

"Oh, you guys shouldn't have...!" You squealed in glee. You turned to look at Kaon, who had been quiet so far. "What are those sashes, like some kind of space decoration? Did you dip them into some kind of juice to make them glow?"

"Almost." The blind mech smiled, and showed you the sash he held in his servos. "They're guts."

You froze. You were still smiling, but only because your brain had short-circuited. You looked at Nickel, and the minicon nodded. You looked at Vos, and he said something in Primal Vernacular that you didn’t understand, of course, but Tarn gasped, and said something about saving your innocence.

"What about those orbs?" You asked, but inside you were hoping that they weren't the Cybertronian version of testicles.

Nickel cleared her intake. "They're optics."

Optics… Cybertronian eyes. You blinked and took a deep breath. You regretted saying nothing phased you. Apparently, you weren't completely immune to the DJD's shenanigans. They really had tried their best though. Yes, the decorations were gory… but still pretty. You breathed out slowly and smiled.

"I love it," you admitted, and it was mostly true.

[towards-peace-or-chaos]

Where do I begin with my thoughts about you. Your very name brings about a myriad of emotions: anger, hurt, sadness... mostly confusion. I wish there was a way I could convince you to stray from this path you've chosen. I wish I could change your mind, bring you back to how it used to be when it was victory after victory. I still think back to those days, even if they do feel bittersweet now.

Well he certainly has an idea of who this is though there are many it could be. He sighs, exhausted and holds his helm in his servos. "It hurts me to know that so many who I once held close, called friend's and confidants, are against my new outlook on life. It hurts me even more so that I had to cause them pain. I regret bringing you pain, for hurting you so. But I will never regret defecting. Tarn, or at least I hope this is Tarn, I love you, you know that but I can't be that mech any more. I just don't have it in me. If only you could see how much happier I am now. That back then I was a miserable, lonely, pathetic, sad excuse of a mech. There was nothing glorious about me. It was all make believe. None of it was real. Things are so much better now. I just wish you could be a part of it."

[dildo-swaggins-t-baggins]

What you wrote was HEARTBREAKING! Can we please have a third part? Where the crew manages to track Rodimus down and convince him that they DO want him back (and not just because they want to make Thunderclash happy, but because they really DO regret being so harsh)? And could we find out who REALLY wrote the email, if it WASN'T Ratchet?

Alright I swear we’re getting to that part, I SWEAR IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN! But I just got another ask and I’m down for angst, so this is going to be a two part answer? I’m going to give you the first half, and the other ask the second half. So it’s not done yet!

He padded away the rest of the cleaning wash with a fluffy towel, hanging it just outside the rack before running to the mirror. “Another day, and we’re not dead yet.” He mumbled, stepping back and hearing the distinct pings of his struts snapping back into place. Winching as the pain returned and his peds tingled. 

    Thunderclash, you’re overdue for a check up!

    He muted the messages, knowing that Velocity would blow a gasket if she knew how fast his spark was deteriorating. Thunderclash forced a smile, looking into his tried optics, leaving his quarters, he never moved into the captain’s quarters, didn’t feel right cleaning up the burn marks. Just another empty hab.

    But that was the least of his worries, the crew was heavily divided, with Getaway getting off with light charges, Megatron once more taking up the co-captain position. Some supported Getaway, while others preferred the two co-captains, one thing was certain, morale was low. Tensions were high and fights were breaking out.

    Thunderclash paused, sparing a glance at the medbay, what was left of his spark sank. Ratchet waited, his frame stood still, his optics shifting left and right, intake drawn in tightly. This was becoming normal, Thunderclash was sure that Ratchet had a thin layer of dust on him. The medic waited for only one mech Drift, and Drift...Drift was a mess. There were rumors of the white swordsmen, he was a ghost on the lower decks, he walked without a sound, sharpened his blades to the point that they could cut the ship open. When Thunderclash finally caught a glance at the once TIC, Drift’s tires were bald, his frame was littered with dents and cuts, but what scared Thunderclash the most was that Drift was mute. Drift didn’t talk to anyone anymore, only showed up every now and then for Ratchet to patch him up and disappeared. 

    He offered Ratchet a smile, the medic gave him a small but sad smile back. He often tried to picture what it was like for Drift and Ratchet.

    When he finally stepped on the bridge he was greeted with Ultra Magnus’ stern face, always guarded, then there was Megatron who took up the hobby of the pacer test. “Megatron, I’ll take over.” He said reading the report.

    The silver mech froze, twisting the metal railing under his servos. “Very well.” He stepped off, most likely going to write more poems. That was good, very good, at least he had an outlet. Thunderclash made a mental note to make sure no one ever read those poems. It wasn’t a pretty mental image of Getaway reading those poems over the intercom. 

    Thunderclash slumped in the chair and groaned, he can feel it in his frame, the stress, pressure, pushing down on him, compressing him more and more. Maybe the next meeting at Swerve’s would be more progressive than the last few?

    Somehow he squeezed into the packed bar, pushing himself to the back, waving to a few mechs but disappeared in the sea of frames. Of all the mechs to start this and somehow keep it a secret, it was the loud mouth bar owner, Swerve. The mini red mech climbed up on the bar, gesturing towards Cyclonus, who promptly whistled and quieted down the whole bar. Everyone turned to Swerve, who cleared his intake. “Alright so I’m going to get to the point, we know what we’re here for, you know, find Rodimus. An almost impossible task, like we’re in the haystack and Rodimus isn’t a needle he-”

    “Swerve, get on with it.” Megatron grumbled, tossing back whatever was in his cube.

    “Alright, so, Brainstorm, any updates?”

    The scientist clapped his servos together. “Yes, so you know that the Rod-pod has a tracking device, for reasons, but we have to be in range. However I’ve made a few modifications and now we can track it with ease, but the scanner is still limited.” He beamed.

    Thunderclash vented, pleased that this whole group of mechs wanted one thing, and that was to track down Rodimus and haul his aft back into the captain’s chair. 

    “The fights are getting worse, I think Getaway knows we’re up to something.”

    “So what, frag him, we’re half the ship.”

    It was foolish to think that they weren’t been spied on, any one of the crew could be working for Getaway. He knew that, Ultra Magnus knew that, even Megatron knew that, so it really shouldn’t have been a surprise when the ship did decide to blow up. He felt it rock under him, waking him from his recharge, Thunderclash bolted towards the bridge and found Megatron and Ultra Magnus shouting orders as warning signs filled the bridge with an angry red hue. “What just happened?”

    “Hull rupture, and a big one, someone blew us up.” Megatron snarled. 

    Thunderclash left his tanks drop, watching as the ship started to spiral out of control, knowing exactly what was going to happen next. He grabbed Megatron, an Ultra Magnus. “Leave, now, everyone get out!” He shoved them through the doors, shouting at the other members and pushing the mech at the helm aside. He firmly grabbed the controls, hearing the ship creak under him. “Rodimus, if you’re out there, you’re going to kill me.” He grumbled, heaving the steering up as clouds passed them. He laughed. “Well if this doesn’t kill me first.”  just then he heard the defining sound of the ship howling, only to briefly glance up to see nothing more than solid, compact rock. “Frag.”

        His systems somehow binged online, his helm spun and his processor was filled with error messages. Slowly his systems came back online, his optics were first, he blinked away the thick layer of dirt and started to name his surroundings. Dirt, burning metal, rocks, energon, lots of energon. Then a ped slapped down, dust rising around it, he flinched and groaned, more errors popping up in his hub. His audio system came on next, and he stilled at the voice.

    “I’m checking it out, yes there’s survivors, lots of them, wearing the Autobot badges, mhm.” He hissed, his voice was thick, sketchy, like someone shot him in the throat? “Tarn, that’s enough, and that’s an order.” He snapped, his peds stopping. The mech groaned, his peds turned towards Thunderclash, and he leaned down, grabbing hold of one of Thunderclash’s helm fins. Painfully he pulled Thunderclash’s helm up, he hissed and winched, but forced his optics to focus, knowing very well he wasn’t dead yet and he still had work to do.

Red optics, fangs and black paint and flames, that was unexpected, then there was the very VERY prominent badge that shined on his chest, purple, pointy, angular, a threat and a promise. “I told you not to blow up my ship.” He snarled, those fangs flashing once more.

Thunderclash really wished the crash killed him, anything to spare him from this sight, the rage in those optics, the claws tearing away at his fin. Then there was the pain in his chassis, it felt like his spark was trying to eat itself, tearing away and away. Somehow his vocalizer was mostly intact. “Rodimus?”

Rodimus smirked. “That’s lord Rodimus to you.”

[forgedcold]

anonymous said: Do you have any regrets regarding Tarn and the DJD? Would you have liked it if the end panned out differently and all that? Did you truly mean to tell your most loyal Decepticon that everything he'd done was for nothing?

« ...Yes. »

The memory is painfully bitter, a welt upon his psyche; behind a half-smile, Megatron masks the misery.

« I’m not sure in what regard things could have panned out differently, as you say, that would have resulted in some peaceful resolution as I believe you imply. It was never my intention to change Tarn or the DJD, to force them to see how they were wrong. In making Tarn so toxically loyal to the Decepticon cause, he became unreasonable, and I’m no being of hope to believe anyone might change.

« I did everything in my power to avoid a fight with Tarn, agonizing over the very idea of it; I tried to surrender, and when that failed, when he tore Ravage in two... » he shakes his helm at the memory, optics dark; while he’d been gutlessly retching his tanks in fear of losing himself, in believing he’d been weakened by what was nothing more than a placebo, it was Ravage who gave his life to prove his happiness was worth fighting for.

“Don’t change back.”

« Death was the only option; Tarn’s plea for reason came far too late and only after he let the rest of his division die. 

« And yes, I meant what I said. I shaped Damus into Tarn to hurt someone; he served a purpose, and then the purpose was no more. It was not an existence, anonymous, and each of them had always been expendable to the role given to them. »