#Tara Young

[grimbunnies]

[aondaneedles]

[ahjiing]

A young Wizard’s best friend.

[mercutio-venus]

i saw the tv glow today.

owen is not just isabel she is also autistic. please, please, you have to listen to me she is autistic she is begging for people to listen she is begging for people to understand her. she knows she is not right she knows she is not right aside from her gender she can tell and it hurts. "look me in the eyes for once" she CAN'T i can't we can't it is not possible living not just in a cisgender world but an allistic world will kill us. we will die trying to mask ourselves we will die knowing we are not normal. you have to transition- you have to unmask. you not only have to unmask you have to find other autistic people and find joy with them. please, please, please transition. cut or grow your hair. change your name. change your pronouns. start the hormones. i have so many people in my life i want to sit in front of this movie and say, do you get it? do you see? i am begging you, please, please come with me. bury yourself alive with me, we have to get out. i love you, please wake up. you are dying. i am maddy i am tara i am begging you. i will love you i will accept you i will not force your eyes to mine i will understand what you are unable to say. please come with me. there is still time.

[sillypenguinwitch]

okay so i'm not trying to make this a ~thing~ or a hot take or whatever, but can we talk about how all the hyped up queer shows still predominantly feature mlm couples? i'm not saying there aren't wlw shows/movies or the mlm-focused shows don't also feature wlw characters/couples, just... they either get nowhere near the same amount of hype, have some other main plot, end with at least one of them dying or experiencing something traumatic, get cancelled after one season in the middle of their arc, or they're not the main couple. And that's not to discount the representation you can get from secondary characters of course but just... ugh I want a heartstopper or rwrb or young royals or skam or love, simon or i don't even know... with girls. And I know I'm not the first person to bring this up and I know it's not that simple, but seeing all the hype for heartstopper and rwrb this week makes my heart ache a little bit so i needed to say this somewhere.

[raisedbythetv89]

Sometimes I just sit and imagine what btvs could have been like if the women characters and their perspectives were TRULY centered and what all could have been.

How much wasn’t explored

How angel gets his own show but is completely reliant on the presence of Cordelia and the most interesting story lines revolve around her, darla, and drusilla. And how they needed Spike, the most female gaze male character, to even have a 5th season

How Riley gets to live and be a hero with a hot badass wife but Tara, Anya, and Kendra all are dead

How much xander’s abusive, toxic monologues passing judgment on everyone but himself often serve as the “facts or true reality” of the narrative rather than the rantings of a jealous, bitter, repressed, weak and pathetic boy

So much of the show is about a woman but still with men and men’s opinions, needs, desires at the center. We can see jane and marti’s efforts to center women’s narratives more especially in season 6 and 7 but much like I mourn what the first 32 years of my life could have been without patriarchy, what could have been for this show with so many incredible women that left so much potential unrealized.

Fan fiction is a reclamation of this lost potential. It’s a powerful and radical thing to do. Correcting the narrative to center who should have been centered all along heals the parts of us society wants us to neglect within ourselves for the sake of men (or straight people or white people or cis people) and their own narratives. It’s a way to decenter men not only in our real life spaces but our fictional ones too

[xheartstopperxx]

GCSE results!!!

charlie picking up nicks :0

[stoppingoftheheart]

OTPs are like drugs, and im addicted to several of them

[variousqueerthings]

kendra: introduced as the single black female recurring heroic character, given a tragic backstory, and then killed without exploring it in service to white pain

buffy: consistently put through intensely bad experiences and then getting yelled at/judged by her friends and family for emoting about it in any way

tara: one of the most prominent examples of bury your gays in tv history

cordelia: framed as deserving of constant poor treatment because she used to be mean, forcibly supernatural impregnated twice, the second time fridgeing her

harmony: consistently treated in casually misogynistic ways for being "ditzy," existing almost solely for this purpose throughout

darla: brought back from the dead to have a "destiny" pregnancy storyline that culminates in her being killed for the weirdest written character in either of the shows to be born

[doggyjjm]

[fate-motif]

here's the character traits i think predisposes characters in the jigsaw franchise to get brainwashed by jigsaw and become a jigsaw killer themselves:

they have to believe that they did something wrong, and that they atoned for it when jigsaw tested them

they have to be already somewhat comfortable making life or death decisions for other people

we all know pee-paw's self-help seminar from hell isn't just an alleged self-help seminar, but doubles as retributive justice in case the person fails (in his eyes). so whoever is offered to join up with jigsaw has to be comfortable with both sides of the ideological operation in play. it's not enough that they were severely traumatized and have a hole in their lives that they could fill by being part of this cult, though those things really predisposes them for the brainwashing. multiple characters were targeted to join the jigsaw movement and did not feel the vibe, so i think i have it isolated to these two traits.

further thoughts under the cut

how we see this in the apprentices

this puts all three main character mainline franchise jigsaw apprentices in a very clear light, really. amanda thinks john helped her overcome her addiction and redeemed her for the things she did as an addict. lawrence acknowledges how he neglected his family and took them for granted so hard that he cut off his foot for them even though there was no guarantee they would be alive when he got out. hoffman is perhaps the one that feels he owes john the least (since he at least partially came in on the scheme purely through blackmail) but considering his intense passion for brutally punishing the guilty i think it's safe to say john testing him jolted him out of the apathetic, drunken stupor he had been living in since his sister was killed, and that he thinks that's a good thing.

(your mileage may vary as to whether logan nelson blamed himself for john's cancer going undetected, but as a coroner he seems to take his job extremely seriously. if john sparing his life caused him to take action in appreciating his life in any way, i think it's fair to say that it got him to give his everything when at work.)

and as for the life or death decision making for others, it's crystal clear at least to me why the people that joined up did. two are doctors and one is a cop. these are professions where making life or death decisions for others is required, even if you're doing everything you can to save someone's life. amanda isn't either a cop or a doctor but having been an ex-con i think it's safe to say the high risk environment may have predisposed her to feel more comfortable taking decisions that may lead to someone's death.

and it's not really a coincidence that it's cops and doctors, either. both policing and healthcare are embedded in the themes of the saw franchise. john kramer thinks jigsaw is a doctor that doubles as a cop; healing a sickness if the patient is worthy, killing them if they aren't. that's why i think a lot of traps that people like to claim 'don't work' because the players aren't being tested for a flaw or misdeed still suit the jigsaw ethos perfectly. because pee-paw may act high and mighty but what matters most to him is the retributive justice aspect of the traps. and this is the same for all his apprentices as well.

except for brad and ryan, really, but they're more than anything victims of saw 3d's rushed writing. they're only there to help lawrence stop hoffman, since a disabled oncologist might struggle to take down the armed and dangerous cop turned serial killer. even then i can sort of squint and see those two as thanking jigsaw for intervening on letting this one woman ruin their friendship and make them commit crimes when she didn't value them. the atoning aspect, weak as it is, may be complimented by the fact that jigsaw just netted himself a couple of honest-to-god psychopaths because they didn't look even a little remorseful to have to kill their girlfriend when they reached their truce. oh, well.

but what i like about my conclusions is that they really explain why the victims who were set up to be brainwashed failed

not every jigsaw game victim would make a good apprentice

yes, up front: john kramer has lost his mind when he thinks anyone would ever want to join his sick little crusade. most people do not want to kill and can't find killing in most capacities to be vile. also most people's reactions after being tortured would be to immediately try and attack their torturer. and yet the madman actually netted three people to help him out. it's such an insanely lucky number, really, proven by the fact that hoffman tries to recruit two cops and fails.

two cops. one of them had engaged in police brutality, let a colleague cover for him, and respected and defended colleagues that engaged in it. the other one may have been a little too classy to punch suspects in the face, but the way he treats jill tuck speaks to the opposite of any respect for people's dignity. both of them are fine murdering jigsaw game victims who were only attacking under the extreme circumstanced they were in! and yet they didn't even hesitate when hoffman tried to sell them on the life of being jigsaw, the ultimate policeman!

because neither of them thought they had anything to atone for.

while rigg has an entire library of things to atone for, what hoffman wants him to regret and feel bad for is letting his desire to save people affect the people around him. maybe if hoffman had any kind of emotional intelligence he could have pitched his traps to make him consider his actions on others, but instead all his arguments came down to 'look at these weak, pathetic people. they're sick, deep down, so it doesn't matter if they die when we torture them'. which rigg was never going to believe. he saw his desire to save people as innately good and unchangeable, which is correct, of course. it's just that the actions he takes are absolutely hopeless to actually save anyone in hoffman's eyes, because that desire makes him careless but in mine because policing saves no one. so of course he could never have become a jigsaw killer, because his traps did not make him think he had something to atone for.

as for strahm, hoffman didn't even bother brainwashing him, and that's why obviously he was never going to get in that coffin. the water cube trap was a straightforward execution. strahm had already seen a jigsaw trap mutilate perez for no reason other than to get them off his trail. by the time he reaches the coffin there was nothing in the world that could have convinced strahm to join hoffman.

it really speaks to how far gone and twisted hoffman is that in either of these cases, especially strahm's, hoffman thought there would be a chance either of them would even think about joining forces with him.

could any other jigsaw victims have made good apprentices?

i have a couple of ideas.

before we get to the candidates i'm going to address the apprentice adam angle, because it's a common au and everyone loves adam and wants him to be alive. also because it's a fun angle for chainshipping. this is your opening to send me chainshipping fanworks where larry tries to brainwash adam into joining him! but as it stands in canon i don't think adam would have found it in him to join the serial killers because he's not the kind of guy with a developed killer instinct. yes, he's depressed and suicidal in the original script. yes, the bathroom game makes him say out loud he wants to stop taking his family for granted. but he killed zepp in the very urgent scenario of trying to stop zepp from shooting lawrence, and i don't think he has it in him to deliberately put people in torture games where it's very likely they'll die. especially since, before jigsaw, adam had never met anyone he would actually find it in him to kill on purpose. though neither had lawrence, so i will give the adam apprentice girlies a point there.

the writers of the first movie say that zepp was having a blast when he kidnapped gordon’s family so he’s clearly he’s got the killer instinct needed for the job. the problem is that even john would be able to tell by a glance that zepp wouldn’t be able to stop himself from indiscriminately harming people as opposed to using violence for their ideological leanings. there’s a reason he was poisoned instead of merely asked to join. so while a rare find in that he might have already been primed to be a serial killer already, we all know john loves his delusion of doing violence for a higher purpose and zepp would ruin that illusion very quickly.

the only candidates i think would have been perfect otherwise would be brit and mallick from the fatal five. i've mentioned this before but they feel like they've atoned for their crimes through their game and were delusionally euphoric by the end of it. and so long as the victims chosen were on the scummier end of things, i could see both of them prompted into villainy.

you know who else got prompted into villainy? brett abbott. which is kind of insane to say considering he's a kid and i feel for him even though he did literally murder a man. it's just very hard for me to hate a kid suffering under institutional injustices even though he let that suffering out through murder. but all i'm saying is that under the right trap brett and the fatal five survivors were the more ideal candidates for apprenticeship... if only john was there.

yeah. hoffman doesn't have it in him to coax anyone into anything. he's a homemade nail bomb, not a leader. he would probably even dismiss brit and mallick right off the bat over their now missing hands, and you can't tell me he would have the patience to groom a teenager like brett. amanda and lawrence are also not exactly winning in the charm department. so really once the cult's charismatic leader kicked the bucket their way of life was doomed to eat itself from the inside out.

which is exactly what happened.

... don't ask me to think very hard about anyone in jigsaw because i've forgotten 95% of that movie

[tan1shere]

TANNS

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MAIN MASTERLIST

[aondaneedles]

[shittykinaesthetics]

Shitty Tara Markov aesthetic: "oh i support women's wrongs" "why can't we let women be mean" "more terrible female characters" some of you bitches couldn't even handle terra. sit down before she rightfully goes full cain on your ass

[justfriendsbestthings]

Watching Heartstopper but all I can think about is them ☹️

[nicollekidman]

god. it’s so good that spike is literally categorically insane over buffy in season five and then the intervening summer changes him so fundamentally that he does not push her or make assumptions or invade her space and make speeches even after she has demonstrated multiple times that she wants to be around him, and seeks him out for the first time in their relationship. he even tries to get her out of the crypt before he can start singing so that she doesn’t have to hear the truth of his feelings and when he DOES sing it’s that she’s hurting him and he doesn’t care!!!!!! and then SHE follows him out and kisses him!!!! after he says if you’re not serious then leave me in the ground!!!