#Tamara knew all along

[witchofhimring]

Big babies

Synopsis: During tea time, Feyre and yourself realize there are a second pair of children you have to look after.

Pairings: Tamlin x Reader, Rhysand x Feyre, Nyx x OC (Tamlin's daughter)

Warnings: Tamlin and Rhysand being stupid.

Literally just thought of this scenario after hearing about acosaf (haven't read it yet).

Once Feyre told you that she sometimes thought Illyrians were just big babies with wings. You did not think about her comment too deeply at the time. And a week later she invited the family over for tea. After telling Tamlin and your eldest son to be on their best behavior (or so Caldron help them) everyone was bundled off to Velaris. The city was breathtaking and Feyre took you on a tour through it. Afterwards everyone retired to Rhysand's house near the mountains. According to Feyre they had five houses in Night Territory. It hit you that soon this would be your daughters life soon. But seeing this glittering city of starlight made you feel better. Perhaps Tamara would truly be happy here.

Teatime was a surprisingly peaceful affair. Tamlin and Rhysand, while pointedly ignoring each other, did not cause any fuss. The children talked animatedly amongst themselves. There were six in all. Excluding Nyx and Tamara, there was Ryan and Jared (Rhysand and Feyre), and Talion and Azrien (yours and Tamlin). Ryan and Talion were getting along very well. While Talion took after your colouring (except his hair) he was obviously his fathers son. Ryan on the other hand was an exact replica of his mother. Jared and Azrien were toddlers still, and the pair of you took turns cooing at the others child. Sometimes you noticed the men looking at Ryan and Talion. Were they thinking of times long past. Tamlin had difficulty talking about his past. But you did know Rhysand and himself were once close. But that was centuries ago.

After the tea and sweets were put away everyone fled off to their own activities. Ryan wanted to show Talion some old books he had and the boys disappeared off to the library. Nyx wanted to show Tamara the snow outside and the two went off. Where the menfolk wandered off to one could not say. Feyre and yourself stayed inside and ordered more tea. The pair of you yapped away as the little ones toddled about. Everything was peaceful. You felt immense satisfaction knowing that Tamara's life would not be so hard. For the first time you felt at peace since hearing of their relationship.

'Oh look.' Looking out the window one could see Tamara and Nyx having a snowball fight. Smiling, you watched the young ones having their fun. 'Your daughter seems to be adjusting well.' Feyre commented. Her face had a long wistful look on it. Your remembered that Feyre had once been human, although that was centuries ago. You wanted to ask her what it was like but felt the question impertinent. Feyre and yourself might have grown close over the past year, but some thing felt inappropriate. Yet you did not have to. 'She will get used to it. I did.' Feyre looked at the ring on her slim ringer. You tried to find something to say, but decided to allow Feyre to continue. 'I know my experience was different. The moment I came here I knew it was home. But it may not be the same for Tamara.' 'Tamara will fit in just fine. She had always enjoyed a dark colder climate. You know those old caves in the woods?' Feyre nodded. 'My Tamara used to hide in them. I recon during her youth she was in those caves more than the house.' 'Ah. Then she will adjust here fine.' Feyre rose her cup and the pair of your drank to the future happiness of your children.

Up ahead both of you could see a black head above the snow. An Illyrian with wings was flying above the blonde pelting her with snow balls. In retaliation Tamara shot one which hit Nyx right in the face. 'They seem to be having fun.' Feyre commented. 'Indeed' That was when you noticed two figures approaching the house. It was clearly Tamara and Nyx. 'Oh wonderful-wait.' Narrowing her eyes. Feyre looked closer at the two figures by the mountain. Catching on, you also looked closely. You realized, with alarm, that the blonde being pelted with snowballs was not your daughter, but husband. 'Rhysand.' Feyre sighed. At the same time both of you realized that these grown men were settling their rivalry with a snowball fight.

You and Feyre stood there as Tamlin turned into a beast and created an enormous snowball. It flew in the air and Rhysand was toppled out of the air. 'Do you think we should intervened?' Feyre shook her head. 'Nope. Let them learn their lesson.' Suddenly the mountain trembled and a great avalanche of snow came tumbling down. You could hear Rhysand cackling with glee and Tamlin ran up another mountain. 'Oh really. I have actually married a child.' And then Feyre closed her eyes and scrunched up her face. 'Are you alright?' Feyre relaxed and hoped her eyes. Smiling, she turned to you. In the distance you noticed Rhysand fumble in the air. 'My husband and I can conjure images in each others mind. What Feyre put in Rhysand's mind you could not say. Only that himself and Tamlin were slumped against the snow, utterly exhausted.

There was a knock at the door outside and Feyre winnowed all four of you down. Tamara and Nyx tumbled in. 'What happened?' Nyx asked. You smiled. saying; 'Oh, nothing. Just a pair of big babies.' Tamara and Nyx looked confused as Feyre and yourself laughed.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) We're finally back to new eps. I wasn't ready for this episode in the least. Idk I was ever gonna be ready tbh. If this isn’t the most apt ep name ever following the last ep. Bare with me as I once again sort through my thoughts and such. I'm really struggling with the 'mini' portion of these reviews the last few eps.

Ain't nothing mini about my emotions haha But I am sure come summer they'll be more refined for sure. Also thank you to anyone who reads these thoughts and enjoys them. It's still a trip to me people appreciate my thoughts. I just want to be a ray of sunshine and positivity with these.

A source of comfort while we all go through this together. Cause that's the beauty of fandom. Going through it together. Once again wanna preface there will be ZERO tolerance for bashing of any kind. They are both going through it right now. We all love these characters so much its why we're on here. I love conversation and comments but not spreading hate. With that in mind let's start eh?

6x07 Crushed

Tamara moving out still..... Ugh. I’m so sad about this. Truly the end of an era right here everyone. Also Lucy not wearing her necklace gut punch already to my feels...Poor Lucy wants her to stay but would never ask Tamara to do that. I wanna cry already for Lucy....I hate her necklace being missing and it's very obvious it's missing. *sad sigh*

I do love Lucy taking Tamara out to fancy dinner least. Channeling her emotions into something positive. Wanting to love on her before she goes. Tamara mentioning Tim getting kicked out of Metro…She isn’t wrong it is down hill after the pinnacle of Lucy indeed. Trying to give her a compliment but Lucy isn't taking it that way. I wanna cry for a second time. She looks so distressed. *sigh* Two massive pillars in her life are now gone and it's felt in this brief moment.

Tim in his old Metro office disassembling it. My heart. You all know how much I loved him In Metro. Killing me. Also just shows how much of a nose dive he took after this Ray debacle. Grey seeing this and sighing before going in after him. Tim seems like he’s in robot mode when Wade enters. Saying all the things he thinks Grey wants to hear since he’s back. No real emotion behind it. Just the grunt mentality he thinks he should have.

Gonna be more than just his trust you’re gonna need to earn back my love….Love Wade having him to ride along with Dr. London. Anyone needs it our boy does right now. Of course Tim bites back on this idea why wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t be Tim if he didn’t. Tim saying breaking up with Lucy has nothing to do with the Ray situation. Uh... it has everything to do with that my love EVERYTHING.

Grey standing his ground saying if he wants to regain his trust this is where it starts. I love him saying breaking up with Lucy and being bounced back to patrol due to being reckless makes him question his judgement. As it should…You forget Timothy this man watched you grow with Lucy for years. Saw how much she made you grew and joy she brought out in you. Of course he is questioning your actions. He just watched you throw away the best thing ever that's ever happened to you. Your judgement is being judged severely....

I adore Wade Grey. He's not only putting Tim in his place and saying he could mandate therapy (which he would be justified in doing...) Or take the ride along. Then saying he’s taking Lucy out too. Just so he knows he is looking out for them both in this moment. The man knows what he is doing.

I can’t believe Smitty doing breakup odds. I’m incensed by this tbh. Also I want punch the dude who said Tim would’ve cheated. He would NEVER. How very dare you. I hate that list. It makes me wanna rage out so hard. If any of them knew them at all they’d know it would never be something like that. Also her and Aaron? Ewww no no no.... Lucy had every right to ream Smitty out more than she did. So inappropriate it's insane. For shame sir truly.

I'm glad she shut it down. Last thing they need is the station gossiping about them like this. They're going to anyways but Ugh I hate this whole thing. I feel sick. Of course she runs into Tim right after.... Worst timing ever. Breaks my heart because he still is excited to see her but she isn't ready for him. How could she be? He looks so sad. But Tim what are you expecting my love? No way she is ready to be near you let alone talk. This hurts to watch…Lucy trying so hard just not to have a meltdown right there in the station.

I was very excited for him to have this ride along I will say and this opening scene is why. Dr London on his ass already. I love it. As she should be. Saying he’s bringing Aaron as a buffer. Which he is… Classic avoidance attachment style. That’s our boy. She’s not wrong he prefers surface level relationships (other than Lucy...) to a deep intimacy. His default state with anyone who isn't his girl.

She has him dead to rights already. Saying it’s a defense mechanism when someone is raised by an overly strict or domineering parent. A father. She’s not wrong. We all know his history. Tim of course isn’t about this whatsoever only making her assessment about him even more valid. Their scenes starting off real strong.

Grey wanting to check in on Lucy I do love it. He’s not wrong she’s been through HELL this year. The detectives exam, Jeff Budney and now losing Tim. God this hasn’t been an easy season for her. To say she's going through it is the understatement of the century. I'm hurting for her so very much. Her entire world has been rocked to it's very core in the last week alone. Not mention everything else before this.

It’s so awkward Lucy inviting everyone but Tim to Tamara’s going away dinner…. In front of Dr. London too. That shot from Tim’s body cam seems very intentional. As he looks at everyone she’s inviting but him. Way his head goes back and forth. Grey patting Tim on the arm on the way out. *phew* Rough start to the shift.

Of course their first call is disturbingly close to what she and Tim are dealing with. Not exactly what Lucy needs. Hearing this woman talking about thinking he was the one then it just ended. *heart clutch* Crushed is an apt name for how I was feeling during this episode.

Lucy has clearly kept this all inside for too long with her reaction to the situation. Wade would never set you up like that. Just shows how hyper sensitive she is atm. Why he's doing this ride along with her. He wants to keep you sane not crazy. I wanna hug her so much. 'I do watch too much reality tv. It's my bad' Lmao. Needed a little levity. This made me chuckle.

We hit the ground running about breakups with Dr. London. Honestly no need to beat around the bush for this observation of Tim. ‘Breakups are a trigger for many men. Especially since stereotypical gender roles prevent them from seeking out help. For fear of appearing weak.’ If that isn’t Tim and this entire situation right now…

Hell that's his ENTIRE life. He was shamed into never wanting help and if he did he was meant to feel weak for it. Just like she is stating above. She is very good at her job and just getting started. Tim can't hide in any of his normal brush off statements. Which I love. She has him pegged already and it shows. Quite the opening jab from her to start this off.

Lucy looks on verge of tears at all times right now and I’m dying. Especially when Grey brings up his name. Asking if they’ve talked since the breakup? Melissa straight killing me in this shop right now everyone. Those pre tears.....Saying she thought he didn’t care about her personal life. He’s not wrong if it affects her job it does matter. The point of this ride-along. To gauge where she is currently.

‘Smart to make the connection between IA and them breaking up. ‘Just a bad week.’ Oh its so much more than that…. Lucy protects him of course with the unethical portion. Bad place or not she's not going to cast any suspicion with that. But It’s so very clear she is painfully unaware why he did this to her. To them.

Only that he’s not emotionally available to her. *sigh* This is true. The man is a disaster zone atm. I mean he’s definitely occupied mentally in a way she doesn’t understand yet. Hell I don’t even think Tim understands it really. All he knows is he think's he's toxic and she’s better off without him. Which is a huge part of this episode tbh.

So she isn't wrong he is not emotionally available right now. That much is painfully true. The joke about the Diamondbacks was funny but sad at the same time. They found good way of getting little funnies in there with Grey. I do appreciate that. I'm a sports girl so I this made me smile.

Dr London really coming at Tim in this next section. She is wasting ZERO time with him. ‘Lot of romantic feelings start out as platonic love.’ Going right for it when she says he and Lucy were friends first right? His reaction…Gonna makes me bawl Eric. Hurts to watch this. Looks like he wants to cry. Ugh Tim. Killing me softly. She is getting under his skin quicker than he was expecting and you can tell. Hitting at a very raw nerve he's trying to keep hidden. He looks so distraught and emotional when he replies 'I was her T.O.'

Tim saying he’s not depressed. Oh my love….but you are. Depressed and wracked with a massive amount of guilt. ‘I broke up with her.’ So so defensive. Can’t let good doctor see this whole thing is crushing him. That would be weakness. He is fighting off a panic attack in this moment. So unsettled by this entire interaction. She is picking up on that guilt that is all but exuding out of him in this moment.

She really brings it home saying internalizing guilt and shame leads to self directed anger. Self harm and suicide. If that isn't Tim Bradford my god. The self directed anger is him in spades. His face while she tells him all this.. Oh my lord. She has him dead to rights once again. He is experiencing so much guilt about it and it’s written all over his face. Tim is barely keeping it together while she is telling him stonewalling will only get him sidelined. Honestly I’m glad she’s confronting him like this. Coming at him so hard cause Tim needs that especially right now.

He can’t have passive people in this life when it comes to this kind of stuff. The one person who could knock sense into him he’s pushed away. So Dr. London being here is much needed. Of course Tim snaps at Aaron cause he can’t handle what he’s currently going through. Lashing out because what she is saying to him is true and he isn't able to handle it. Hitting very close to home. So he's defaulting back to S1 Tim in this moment. Destroying Aaron in the process..

I love them talking about Tamara and the unconditional love Lucy has shown her. It’s so true. It’s that love that gave her courage to leave. Even though it's hard to watch happen. It shows what accepting unconditional love can do for you. Lucy bringing back to Tim because how could she not? Mentioning about letting people go even if you really care about them them. *sigh*. You can tell she is on the verge of tears once again.

That feeling where you've been keeping it inside for far too long. It comes out in anything you talk about. Like right now in this moment. Even talking about Tamara is cycling back to Tim and it shows how deeply upset she is. How could she not be? She is losing two of her people in one fail swoop. It's a miracle she hadn't lost it sooner than this moment tbh.

Lucy crushing me some more in this episode. Further proving she has zero idea why Tim did what he did. How he could let go so easily. It was a blindside for us all but none more than for her. His person. The one who never ever expected him to leave her side. Tim did leave her with a cheap cliche nonsense about deserving better. It's so much complex than that but I can see why she is so angry about that. She deserved better than that.

It’s what upset her so much in that 6x06 scene. Because it felt like a cop out to her. When it’s so much deeper than that but Lucy doesn’t know that. Thats what killing me and her. Lucy going off saying it was her decision to make what she deserves. It’s true. She is so justified in saying this. Sadly Tim made that decision despite her willingness to love him no matter what.

Took away her choice to keep him even if he felt he wasn't worthy. Wasn't just HIS choice to make. That's what pissing her off and rightfully so. He doesn’t understand the unconditional love she had to give him or how to accept it. All he could see was how much better she was without him. All she wants is a real conversation with him and she didn't get to have that. He took the choice away from her and she's left holding the emotional bag of it all and it sucks.

Punches keep rolling with Dr London. Attacking his problem at it's damaged root. As much as he is trying to bury it he cannot hide from her and her assessment of him. This is a huge turning point in the ep. Tim saying he owns his mistakes and moves on. So cut and dry and she isn’t having ANY of it. Nor should she. He hasn’t moved on in the slightest. Once again pegging him for not only not being over it but having his whole identity being wrapped up in acting honorably. If he was past that he wouldn’t have ended things with Lucy. We wouldn't be here. But he feels not worthy and not honorable enough for Lucy so he cut ties.

Her noting it’s had a devastating effect on his self esteem. Which is why he is punishing himself. i.e He let the love of his life go. He feels he doesn’t deserve such things for being so un-honorable. My broken boy. Tim isn’t sure what’s she is getting at. Asking what she's talking about? She continues to portray him accurately. That he is punishing himself by depriving himself of something he loves. Something that brings him joy. Or someone....Clearly that someone being Lucy.

The joy she brought to his life he no longer feels he deserves. Lucy was the one constant in his life that made him happy. So he’s depriving himself of it in order to punish himself. This sounds so harsh and severe but I relate to this. When I was new at my current job. I wasn’t very good at first. I was down right on the verge of being fired. I got a game plan to fix myself from my leader. BUT I was punishing myself for not being good enough in the first place. How did I do this? I took away something I loved and brought me joy. Music.

I refused to listen to music during my job because I felt I didn’t deserve it. I wouldn’t let myself enjoy it till I was better and had earned it back. I got to a place where I let myself have something I loved back and it helped so much and ultimately got me through it. So I relate to Tim doing this to himself i really do. He is denying the one person who brings him joy because of that self-punishment. He feels he has failed who he should be therefore he can't have what he wants and needs most. Lucy. You can really see it hit Tim by time Aaron rejoins them. She hit the nail on the head and Tim is feeling it.

Lucy spotting Tim and touching her tattoo SO MUCH. Ugh my heart. Her grounding method to remind herself she's a survivor. The problem with all that is him being the reason for that reminder. Which just hurts. I'm not crying you are....Tim so out of his depth all he can do is be awkward with his ‘Clocking out?’ Babe....No...(Also I feel personally attacked by this song they chose for this scene.)

Lucy calling him out for it instantly. Because well she’s his person. Bad place or not she is always gonna tell him what he needs to hear. Won't let him hide behind niceties. Confronting that things aren't ok between them and she won't let him use it to hide. Asking for a real adult conversation with him. One which he is NOT ready for. This hurt to watch not gonna lie. This whole situation hurts.

Tim deflects….with another cheap answer of saying he can’t give her what she wants. Ugh. You are everything she wants you foolish man. I don’t blame Lucy for cutting that convo off at the knees. She wanted more depth from him and got nothing in return. Telling him he has more to figure out than she realized…and feeling like she is no longer than person to help him with that.

My heart is breaking all over again… Lucy always felt she was his person to get him through anything and to hear this only hurts her further. Coming to that realization and taking off because of it. The song running through this scene is poignant and hurtful…Also the continual clutching to her tattoo as she departs from him. I'll just be weeping in the corner don't mind me....

I wasn't expecting the scene we got here in Grey's office. But was so pleasantly surprised. My hope was that Dr. London broke through to him. That his ride along with her wouldn't be a one-off. I’m so proud of Tim I can't even tell you. To not only see he has work to do but to ask if he could start seeing her as a patient. He seemed disappointed she didn't mandate sessions. Which he needed so he could advocate for himself. Blair had pegged him early on and I think this will be so so good for him.

His healing journey is starting now and I’m so excited for him. Even though my heart is outside my chest right now for our couple. This is going to be good for Tim. I know people have been weird about Dr London. I haven’t gotten a bad feeling from her. I could be wrong but haven't gotten that. I think this is the healing Eric was talking about. That journey he needs to be in order to find his way back to Lucy. Grey's line was perfect. It's SO hard to ask for help. Tim can see something is wrong and wants to fix it. This is a beautiful start to this journey for him.

This final scene with Tamara and Lucy made me cry. This whole ep has made me cry really. Their relationship has always been one of my favorites. To watch how they’ve both grown. How Tamara learned to trust again and receive that unconditional love Lucy had to give. Gah I love it so much. Took a broken untrusting girl and molded her into a confident bad ass. I've never been able to classify what they are. They're sisters, friends and family all wrapped up in one.

Hard to watch Lucy lose this piece of her life on top of everything else. Tim may have a lot of growth to do but I think Lucy too has room to grow from this all as well. She has been given quite the bad hand in this season. Maybe she can get some direction and clarity what she wants to do with career and such. I hate that she has to be the collateral damage to everything this year. It's hard to watch. But I am interested to see how she handles it all. See how she stands after all this. I think as hard as this is will end up making her more resilient.

Lucy been struggling with her own stuff this year as well. Being so good about pegging everyone around her but being blind in her own self awareness. it's going to be interesting to see how Lucy handles everything moving forward. I hope you all know how deeply my heart breaks for her. I don't like seeing her hurt anymore than I do Tim. I wanted to cry for her most of this episode. That being said I do think this growth journey will be good for her as well. Like Eric said she'll be ok they'll grow stronger from it. Can't wait to see how it plays out.

I wasn’t expecting one more scene with him reaching out like this. Telling her she was right. He’s mad himself. That stark realization that is coming over him. My god I’m so proud of him I could burst. Not only advocating for himself but telling her it was an emergency. When everything inside him is trying to do the 'honorable thing' and not call it an emergency when it is. To see he's not being a burden by reaching out like this. It’s so hard to take care of yourself when you don’t think much of yourself. It’s a foreign feeling and to act on it even more so.

Learning it’s ok to ask for help, to be imperfect, to set healthy boundaries and grow. Not an easy place to get to. This scene is HUGE for Tim. Now I mean this in the nicest way I can muster but If you can't grasp how groundbreaking this is for him you don't get him as a character at all. Nor do you understand the gravity of this SL/situation. Of what this final scene represents for him. Tim is seeing something is broken within himself and he doesn't know how to fix it. All he knows is something is wrong and he doesn't want to feel this way anymore. He wants to understand why and to get better.

I know I spent most of my 20's running away from therapy. Saying I didn't need it. That it was non sense. Pushing everything down and deflecting like Tim did. Wrapping my identity in the same things. Being SO DAMN HARD on myself. I still struggle with this but learning to give myself more grace. I can't properly explain the feeling you get when you realize you can't out run your demons anymore. What sets off something inside you that says 'I don't feel right, I don't know how to fix it but I know it's time to.' All I know is what sets it off is different for everyone.

For me it was the fact that I was set off by a kind comment. It was from a sweet lady who was a client of mine. Who commented on earrings my mother had gotten me. I hadn't thought much of it then she looked me in the eye with so much sincerity and said 'Your mother must love you very much.' That comment just hit me so hard. Triggered me. Cause some of my deepest seated trauma comes from my mom. I remember getting in my car and crying after. Texting my sister and telling her I thought it was time I got help. All I knew was something was wrong and it was clawing to the surface and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

That's Tim in this moment. Ray resurfacing was his demons coming up for air and not going away. This is his 'Come to Jesus.' moment about himself. Knowing what Dr. London was telling him today rang true. He just doesn't know to handle it and is reaching out for help to sort it out. Now He couldn’t gotten to this place without Lucy let’s not forget that. Tim wouldn't be in the place he is without her. BUT this is not Lucy's responsibility to fix. Nor should it be. As much as we love her being his person, this is Tim journey to go on.

Now my family/friends got me to place where I could see I needed help. Just like Lucy has for Tim. But it was up to me to take the first step. That's what this scene represents for him. His first step on his journey to healing himself. He knows he has work to do and I know he'll do it. He and I are alike and he will put his all into this. I'm excited the writers did what they did in this ep. Shows they're going to put the proper care into this SL. I can see a pathway way to their healing now and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in three weeks. I'm excited to see where the rest of the season goes for them both I really am. As always thank you for any likes, comments or reblogs I get for these they mean the world.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford. Mostly lol

I like the idea of Celina moving in but she’s not wrong it would be an emotional minefield… but do love the idea of her living Lucy I don’t want her to be alone. Have one little win for her.

This was the song during that finale scene. Thank you D to finding the link above. it's Chenford Personified in this ep. Once again whoever is doing this songs. You need a damn raise this hurt so good. The lyrics were so Poignant and painful. These one were my fav. 'I miss you. I miss you. I’ll always forgive you."

She will forgive Tim because that's who Lucy is. One of the many reasons Tim fell in love with her. That never ending desire to trust people and forgive them. To see the best in them. She will look at the deeper meaning of his actions and help him past them once he gets there himself. He will have to earn that forgiveness of hers and I have no doubt he will.

This will be a process of that I have no doubt. It won't be quick or easy but my god it'll be worth it. They always are. I don't expect this to be resolved by seasons end but I do expect them to be on their way there by the finale. This is a beautiful growth journey they're about to embark on and I'm ready to go on it.

[beachlifelez]

“That was pretty fucking awesome, Shyla. You sure do know how to eat pussy. Tell me, who taught you?”

“Well, Gina, it was really quite scandalous. It was one of my mom’s friends. Her name was Tamara. I had been curious about stuff, she sensed that, and she kinda turned herself into my Mother Confessor.

“She learned all my little secrets and hopes and desires. Then she revealed that behind the facade of her marriage, she was a raging pussy hound. She knew what she was doing for sure. That big reveal put us in bed together the first opportunity we had.”

“She sounds devious and wonderful all at the same time.”

“That’s an almost perfect way to describe things. She definitely seduced me, and I think that was her plan all along. But, I’ve gotta say, it was the best introduction to girl sex I could have asked for. She’d have me between her legs for hours. And she did her share of pleasing, too, for sure. She could never get enough, and frankly, neither could I. I owe her a lot.”

“Ok, now you’ve got me all hot and bothered. I want to hear more, but now I need more than just naughty stories from you. Back down you go. But turn yourself around. Let’s make this a mutual pleasure session.”

“Ok, but you on top. That’s how Tamara liked it. Grinding on my face was her thing. Think you can take me down memory lane?”

“With pleasure, Shyla. With pleasure.”

[janovavalen]

living dead girl .°୭̥ ❁ ˎˊ˗ aegon targaryen x fem!reader

summary: the life of y/n was changed forever all because they thought it was funny

warnings: blood, knives, stabbing, gore, demonic tendencies, killings, horror story, jennifer’s body and tamara themed.

this is a part story of the continuation of what i want to write, it was meant to be written when it was halloween but i literally had work on halloween..and school😔.

‘hello?’ she wimped, her voice trembling, body shaking and cold from the room she was in. hearing something fall she turned in a hurry, screaming out as it echoed through the room she saw nothing.

her breath shaking left her body—‘is someone there?’ she asked once more—‘please just come out already…’ hearing a chuckle from behind her she turned and was met with a slightly taller figure, her eyes meeting some chest and chin before looking up to see aegon.

‘oh…aegon its you’ she smiled softly, her eyes glistening while looking at him as he smirked down at her.

‘yes, it’s me…what are you doing here all alone?’ he muttered. she looked around at the dark room once more before back at him.

‘i don’t know where i am..im just happy your here’ she admitted softly, her smile making his drop ever so slightly.

‘your happy to see me?’ he whispered. she gulped a bit, nervous beyond belief.

‘y—yes…i am’ she said once more as he seemed to frown even more.

‘i’m not…i’m not happy your the only one here..now i’m stuck with you.’ he said with a hardened voice. y/n felt her heart shattered to pieces.

‘huh? wh..what are you—‘

‘do you think i want to be stuck with you? i don’t even like you, and yet you like me..you pay attention to me and i don’t even see you’ her eyes started to well up as the tears in her eyes dropped down her cheeks.

‘s..stop please’ she started to step back as he walked to her.

‘you don’t even exist to me..you never did and you never will’ she started to grow saddened by the moment, ever harsh word he told her she felt her heart sink even more. she stumbled back onto something she never even saw and fell hard on the cold wet ground under her.

‘your pathetic, low life, stuck up, little bitch!’ he yelled while she sat on the ground and cried harder and harder.

she didn’t even know what was happening and didn’t know what to do, the fact the two were alone together and the fact she loved him very so, although for what he said with his cold gaze down on her she still knew she’d forgive him.

‘please..stop..’ she whimpered her heart beating faster and faster, just then, he started to kick her leg, over and over, yelling out in pain as he laughed, the sound of it starting to pain her head, she cried and cried, blood started to pour down from his mouth and eyes as he laughed harder at the cries.

‘stop! stop! please! just stop!’ she yelled even louder until she heard something.

jumping up she breathed heavily looking around to see she was in her softened bed with her curtains open, revealing the light from outside, sighing she whipped her hand with the back of head, the sweat from her nightmare making her whole body full with a cold sweat.

looking around once more, she looked at her lock and seen she was just in time to get ready before school.

getting up before grabbing her glasses to place them on her face, she walked to her bathroom and got ready, taking a shower to wash the sweat off of her body and out of her hair, she did her return routine, placing jeans and a tee shirt on along with tennis shoes and grabbing her finally items before walking downstairs.

‘oh, good morning darling’ her mother said, her father eating breakfast on the other side of him while he smiled at his daughter.

‘morning mom’ she said, walking to the kitchen to grab some water and a apple.

‘oh honey, you don’t want to stay and eat? i made your favorite’ her mother saddened a bit while y/n shook her head.

‘no no i’m okay, i have a big test today anyways and i don’t think miss.winston wants me to be late for it, but i’ll definitely eat that for a snack when i come back’ she smiled as she gave her mom a hug and kiss, walking to her father to do the same.

‘alright sweetie, have a good day, okay? be safe!’ her dad yelled as her mom did the same. walking out and shutting the door behind her, she locked it and went to walk her way to school. with her headphones over her ears and her hands gripping her book bag over her shoulder tight, she kept a steady pace down the sidewalk.

it was fall around this season, so the breeze outside was chilly but soothing, she loved this time of year and loved how the trees looked as their leaves fell to the ground and painted the view orange, brown and yellow.

her song in her ears is simple and beautiful to calm what she’d dreamt about just moments ago. sighing to herself she continued to walk until she got to school.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🧟‍♀️　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

getting into the school as y/n stuffed her bag into the small locker, she held her books tightly against her chest trying not to drop all of her books for every class.

just as she placed it onto its hook, she felt a pain in her back before being pushed into her locker. her books falling to the ground as she groaned a bit.

hearing the same laughs she heard every time this happened she didn’t bother to turn around and face the girls that’d been tormenting her since freshman year of highschool.

‘look at here bending down to pick up all her shit like always, poor girl hasn’t even been touched’ the girl—casey muttered he last part to her friends as they laughed and snickered at y/n who hid behind her hair, it falling to protect her face perfectly away from them.

getting up and not paying them any attention, they pushed her back once more as she ignored them, knowing if she paid any attention they’d do much worse.

getting to her class with her books bending and moving out of her arms, she sat down in her usual seating and ignored the rest of the lads getting in.

the teacher spoke as she listened closely. opening her notebook to do what was told on the board for studying, she pushed her glasses up with her finger and moved some hair behind her ear, just then the door to the classroom shut, gaining her attention.

as if the room gained a new light, y/n adjusted in her seat. there he was, aegon targaryen. his hair a crispy blond with his roots growing its natural color once more, his brows thick and frowned like all the time. his clothes today fit him perfectly, amazing.

she felt herself smile a bit but was quick to hide it, having her head go back to her paper but occasionally looking up and over at him with her eyes. she knew enough about him to grow a life long crush on him.

she knew his sister and brother, helaena and aemond, aemond being slightly younger but ten times taller, his sister being the sweetheart of the whole school. she had a small amount of fan followers who had a crush on her for her light spirit and eyes.

y/n and her had been pretty close for a while now but not enough to walk around in the hallways and talk about boy problems together. they’d have occasional sleepovers or even hung out whenever she was free.

‘psst…hey’ she heard, looking over slowly to see aegon smiling at her, she smiled sweetly back.

‘yeah?’ she mumbled, trying not to get the teachers attention.

‘sorry to bug, i was hoping you had a pen i could use? or even a pencil? i don’t bring a lot of stuff to school’ he smiled awkwardly as she laughed a bit quietly.

nodding as she reached for her bag and grabbed out a pen and pencil, she reached over and handed it to him, he smiled sweetly and whispered—‘thank you so much, really saved me today’

turning sound once more, she felt her heart warming and beating so fast, her hands had grown sweaty and shaky at the same time, her face grew warm as she looked to the paper on her desk, placing her fingers to graze across her lips she smiled sweetly.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🧟‍♀️　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

at the end of class y/n turned in her test on the desk as she held her books in a struggle once more. giving the teacher a small smile who gave one back. walking out and into the hallway she walked to the library, opposite of the lunch room.

she always had her own lunch anyway, and had nobody to even sit or talk to, so she found it pointless to go into the lunch room. the loud chattering and conversations around her, an occasional fight happening between two couples, one cheater and another who already knew but was fed up.

getting to the library, she heard the librarian speak—‘aw, hello y/n, lunch in here again?’ she asked sweetly.

‘yes ma’am..i hope it’s okay?’ y/n mumbled.

‘oh, don’t be ridiculous, you can stay for as long as you’d like, i’m happy you find this place soothing as much as i do. i used to be like you at your age. always here and always quiet’ she smile as y/n did back.

walking to her usual table she laid out all her books and walked around for a book to read for lunch, she also had a free period next so she had no urgent need to leave for class.

finding one that looked good and reading some of the back, she decided it would do, walking to her table and beginning to eat her lunch and read.

this was what she didn’t mind about school, she didn’t mind being alone. she had her mom and dad to give her company. although; she did wonder what it would be like to have a best friend like in the movies…or a boyfriend.

a boyfriend like aegon. she’d heard around school he was with someone but they were exclusive nor a ‘real thing’ they had occasional sex or hung out. y/n wished sometimes it was her. but knowing she’s a person of her stature, he’d never go for her.

he was loud, party hard, exotic and sexy. she was everything opposite. quiet, introverted, closed off and not to the appeal of everyone. trying to forget it all, she moved some of her hair out of her face, eating her lunch and reading.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🧟‍♀️　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

walking out after the second bell of the class some had but she didn’t, walking through the hallways quietly she was shoved in the locker, her shoulder shooting with pain while her books stayed still in her hand.

groaning out in pain she heard laughes and snickers but the same people once more .

��can’t catch a break huh?’ they laughed as she shook a bit, trying not to move as if she could become invisible.

‘huh? what was that? speak up bitch!’ one of them yelled before shoving her head into the locker so hard she felt like it was bleeding—‘ah!’ she yelled as they laughed, looking at one another.

veronica stepped closer and up to y/n as she trembled, how much longer, how much longer, how much longer. she repeated over and over in her head. why her, why her, why her?

‘speak the fuck up, we asked you a question, now answer!’

‘i didn’t say anything…’ she whispered.

‘huh? what’s that?’ she grinned at her friends who laughed hard.

‘i didn’t say anything!’ y/n yelled this time, catching their attention—‘ouu, little bitch speaks now?’ veronica said to her friends who shrugged.

‘please just let me go…’ y/n begged, veronica snickered and cringed at the fact y/n wasn’t giving in completely to her, shoving y/n once more before she scurried away.

‘hm..i heard she likes someone, someone special to you’ her friend mumbled. veronica turned and and looked at her friend—‘who?’ she mumbled.

‘aegon..word has it she blushes and everything’ grinning at veronica who seemed to get mad, she scoffed—‘i have a fun idea’

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🧟‍♀️　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

at home y/n ignored her mom who called to her helplessly, running up the steps and throwing her bags onto the ground before getting to her shower, she stripped from her clothes and got into it. the water was cold but soothing to her.

getting in she let the water fall over her body and back, her shoulder that had seemed to form a bruise from before was hot but gained regular body temperature and the sore of it lightening.

shuddering slightly she let her hair wet and falling straight.

‘y/n? honey you alright?’ her mom worryingly asked through the white painted door. y/n turned but didn’t attempt to get out to open the door.

‘yeah mom..i’m just ready for bed..i’ll eat what you made tomorrow’ she spoke back, her mom nodded to herself before letting her hand that was set on the door as if she could feel y/n, she walked away from her door and shut the room door as well.

y/n stepped out the shower and let her wet body dry with the towel she had, and dried out her hair, looking at herself in the window she cringed before hearing her oh one ring in her room.

walking over to it and picking it up, she mumbled—‘hello?’

‘h—hey, is this y/n?’

jacaerys? she felt her eyes widen.

‘yeah, yes it is. why are you calling me so late?’ she asked while holding her towel tight against her body.

‘i was just wondering if you wanted to come to this party at veronica’s?’ he asked, veronica looking at him with a snicker and he friends laughing as well.

‘a party?’ she mumbled, why would he ask her this? since when did veronica even want her there.

‘yeah..she doesn’t know but aegon wanted you to come, said he wanted to tell you something.’ veronica covered her mouth with her hand to cover her laugh as y/n stammered over her voice.

he wanted to talk to her? he wanted to talk to wanted..he wanted her? she smiled deeply while her face blushed, biting her bottom lip as she smiled—‘u—uh yeah, when was it?’

‘right now, i hope you can come? did you need a ride or—‘

‘no! i’m fine i’ll walk, uhm, is there anywhere he wanted me to be?’ she asked, jacaerys felt all wrong about this, something was up but he couldn’t stop, veronica knew about everyone and she damn well knew about him.

‘the bedroom upstairs with the lights around it..see you soon’ he told her before y/n hung up.

she smiled and squealed to herself before running to her closet. getting whatever good thing she could find, she dressed and soon went to the bathroom.

she had makeup but very little, mascara, lipgloss and eyeshadow was all she had from her mom. putting the lipgloss on and smiling at herself she walked out her room and down the stairs quietly.

her mom and dad were most likely sleeping already so she didn’t want them to know she was leaving.

walking out into the dark and walking down the steps that lead to the sidewalk she grew so nervous all over but tried to see it through became, aegon wanted to talk to her.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ 🧟‍♀️　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

[bl00dst41ned]

*.·:·.✦ my little secret (jude bellingham ‘series’ pt.3) ✦.·:·.*

pairing: jude bellingham x female oc (Mariah)

summary: in which Jude tries to do right but has to face his past actions

author's note: part 3 is out, part 4 on friday. masterlist here. tag list: @barcagirly @everlyjay @alwaysclassyeagle @urmotheris (if you want to be tagged, drop it wherever you want: post, repost, in my asks or comments)

series masterlist

word count: 909

4:12 PM

As minutes passed, Jude grew more and more nervous. He and Mariah had arranged to meet at a dessert shop at 4PM, after having a conversation through Instagram. He sensed how she still felt resentment, and he understood why. But he deeply wanted to do right and it started with apologizing in person. If she showed up.

Mariah was 12 minutes late and had not sent him any message. He just prayed she would show up.

His suffering was cut short by the bell ring of the door. Mariah appeared in the doorstep, still looking gorgeous in his eyes. His facial expression changed once he noticed the baby car seat she was pushing.

Jude definitely didn’t expect her to introduce them so quickly.

“Umm, hello” He got up to greet her, only to be ignored as she sat down and placed the car seat next to her. “Alright…”

“So” She started, her annoyance clearly heard. “What am I here for?”

“You might want to order something before- I’m cool, thank you”

Her tone was so soft yet her attitude was so harsh. Jude had hurted her deeply but it could not take away her softness.

“Okay…” said a distraught Jude. “First, how you been?”

“Jude, let’s not act like that” She instantly dodges his nice approach. “We’re here for Tami, right?”

He nodded in response, not letting out a word. He was scared to say the wrong thing.

“Tami is yours if this is what you wonder. I wanted to tell you immediately but someone decided to break my heart that night”

The last part of her sentence brought him back to that night. He remembered she did say she had to tell him something. He also remembered how disrespectful and rude he was towards her. How wrong he was. He could not feel anything else than remorse.

“Mariah, I’m sorry for the way I treated you”

Mariah expected him to apologize, but not genuine. As much as she did not want to believe him, she could only accept them, for the sake of her daughter.

“I appreciate you for that” She simply thanked “I can’t lie, that one hurted deeply but now that you’re here, I can’t take you away from Tami”

Jude saw in her response how much she grew from their relationship. She had became a mature woman who loved her child and was willing to keep thing in perspective for her. She impressed him and he regretted losing such an incredible person.

“Tami’s the apple of my eye.” Her tone got more serious at the mention of their baby. “If you promise to be there, do it”

Jude felt pressured by her words. He wanted to do good and repair his mistakes, hurting her being the biggest one.

“You hurted me, that was enough. Don’t do it to her”

“I’ll be the best, I promise” He looked straight in her eyes so she knew he meant it.

Just as they ended, little Tamara wailed in the car seat. Jude’s head snapped towards her. She had been silent all along, making him forget her presence. Her whines popped their bubble.

He watched Mariah get her in her hands, placing her in her arms. She gave the diaper bag to Jude, who hesitantly took it.

“Can you get me the bottle”

He did so, analyzing the content of the bag. He closed it and lifted her head, looking at Mariah and Tamara. 

The young mother’s soft moves, Tamara’s mouth movements as she ate, her hands trying to grip the bottle, the way they looked at each other, with so much love. The sight touched Jude straight in his heart. 

He suddenly felt like that’s what he wished forever. He wanted their daughter to look at him like that, to feel the love of a little human. He could only blame himself for it. He’s the one who first blocked her before she reciprocated the action. He messed up.

Mariah smirked noticing Jude’s face expression. She didn’t think he’d have matured after a year but was surprised. Seems like they both grew better people apart. Maybe they weren’t meant to be together.

Once Tami finished eating, Mariah burped her before placing her back in her arms. She looked back at Jude, whose eyes still haven’t moved from the baby.

“You wanna hold her?”

“Ye-yeah” He stuttered out of nervousness.

She got up, and went to his side.

“Place your arms like me”

He obeyed and Mariah placed Tami in his arms, making sure her neck was secured.

His eyes met his daughter’s, who looked back between him and her mother. Once Mariah went back to sit, she settled them on him. Jude’s eyes had diverted on her entire face, taking in her features. Her little hair was starting to curl. Her hands were constantly opening and closing as if she tried to grip something.

Jude’s body stiffed as soon as she started stir in his arms. Mariah let out a little chuckle, looking at the scene.

“Don’t worry, she won’t fall” She reassured with a smile on her face. “Long as you got her, it’s all good”

Though she was just talking about that moment, her words made Jude think. He had missed enough time, he needed to be there now. As long as he kept up with his promise, the three of them would be alright. Long as he got her, it’s all good

like and repost for support (hope you liked it)

masterlist for more

[forest-falcon]

The Butterfly Effect

Chpr 16

⚠️ Erm, not sure what to tag this as...fluffy whump angst? Mainly fluffy!

Timeline starts as memory and ends in the present. Hope you enjoy!

💚💛👨‍🏫🚒🐦‍🔥

Night fell on Tracy Island, and Virgil flopped down onto the cool sheets of his bed. Training had gone well today, despite the odd hiccup; Tam taking to the jet-pack like a duck to water. Jonesy...well, he flew with all the finesse of a drunken penguin. Luckily, the med-scanner had reported no injuries, but for a bruised backside. The merciless ribbing (as to be expected from good friends) was decidedly more painful.

Virgil smiled.

Jonesy had just batted the jokes right back. The firefighter had a good sense of humour, and a thick skin - another vital trait in their line of work. It was like having a second Gordon about the place, which was in equal parts a blessing and a curse.

His piano, for starters; having been somewhat neglected since their guests arrived, had acquired a fine layer of dust. Gordon, of course, had wasted no time at all in scribing messages on its hood.

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can't tuna fish!

Jonesy had laughed way too hard at that; and just a few short hours later, another dad-joke (of equal cringe-worthiness) followed. Only, this time, the handwriting obviously not Gordon's.

Why did the GDF arrest Virgil?

Because he got into treble!

Virgil sighed.

"EOS, please can you add piano polish to the shopping list?"

*. *. * .

Virgil drew idle angel-patterns in the fresh bed linen; savouring the luxury of being able to starfish in his king-sized bed after training...well, they weren't really recruits anymore. They had all integrated so well with the family, that it was nice to think that he'd been training friends.

Mac...Mac was quite quiet; that was until he and Brains started chin wagging about Star Trek.

I mean, he liked Star Trek as much as the next person, but those two must have mastered the ability of breathing through their ears. He'd never seen Brains talk so much!

And though he often opted out of their tedious-Trek-talks; it was wonderful to see their resident engineer, and friend, so animated.

Virgil was roused from his thoughts by the strumming of a gentle Spanish folk song; the lilting melody drifting through his open balcony doors.

Someone was humming. By process of elimination; he knew it to be Tamara. It was a female voice, and he had heard both Grandma's and Kayo's over Comms enough times to know that it wasn't them. He padded quietly over to the balustrade, taking in the night air as the music played on.

It was a beautiful night; the father stretches of ocean so tranquil; the surface glittered with dark starlight.

Virgil rested his head on folded arms, watching the seafoam gather and fade along the shoreline.

Usually, all this beauty went unseen. After back-to-back rescues; he was lucky to see a glimpse of his pillow before sleep took him. He sighed contentedly, and the music suddenly stopped.

"Oh God! I had no idea anyone could hear me! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to keep you up!" Tam set the guitar aside with a musical thud.

"No, no, please! Play on! I was really enjoying that," Virgil leaned his head over the balcony.

"I'm really not that good. I-"

"How long have you been playing?" Virgil stalled her from disappearing back from her balcony and into her own room.

"Erm...ever since my mum passed, so that's...six years - but it's all self-taught," Tam flustered shyly. It was the first time Virgil had seen her out of her comfort zone.

"That's really impressive. And...I'm sorry about your mom. We lost our mother, Lucy, when we were just boys. Time doesn't make it any easier, does it?"

"No... but I guess, those who are lucky have, or find others to live for," Tam sighed pensively.

They both stood silently for a moment, lost in memory and deep in thought.

After a moment, Virgil gently cleared his throat.

"Do you like stars?"

"Stars?"

"Mmmm."

"Yes. I mean, especially here. They're so vivid and... ethereal!" Tam enthused.

"Well, if you can spare ten minutes; I'd love to share something with you. You can see it best from the Comms balcony," he gestured.

"Oh...I mean, sure?"

"You don't have to. It's nothing really. I-"

"No, no! I'd love to see," Tam assured, seeing that whatever he was referencing, held a great deal of meaning to him...whatever it was.

"Cool. I'll meet you up there in five."

*. *. *.

Tam found Virgil already waiting outside of the Comms room.

He greeted her with a genuine smile, before turning his face to the tapestry of stars in the near-midnight sky.

“Okay. I'm no John, but you can't have two spacecase brothers without learning a handful of constellations,” Virgil waved vaguely.

“Mmm. I bet.”

"Erm...Do you know many constellations?” he queried, not wanting to patronize another potential spacecase.

“Erm, well...that one over there's the North Star.” Tam pointed to the brightest light gleaming proudly in the sky.

“That's…actually Five. John's obviously overdone his teeth whitening gel.”

Tam snorted as she laughed.

“Spoken like a true brother.”

"Alright...so you'll have to use your imagination...like, a lot..." Virgil smiled.

"Cassiopeia, can you see her?"

Virgil guided Tam's hand up to the constellation.

"Angle your head slightly. It's a..."

"M?"

"Mmm hmm. Now, Auriga - that's your O." He guided her wrist as she traced the shape.

"Bare with me for the next one!"

"Okay."

"This is where you'll have to really use your imagination. You see Gemini - the twins?"

"Erm...yep, got it!"

"Okay, forget their top halves.

"Said no guy ever."

"It's all about their legs." he winked.

"Look..." He guided her hand once more in the final shape of an M.

"Mom."

"Mmm hmm."

Tam hummed appreciatively; the loveliest of smiles forming on her face as she gazed on the astral wonder.

"It really is beautiful," Tam mused.

"Beautiful," Virgil agreed, watching her smile.

Quietly, Tam began humming the melody from earlier, and the palms gently swayed in the light of the moon.

*. *. *

Virgil roused.

Grandma!

He made to move before the rest of his senses had even come back online.

Pain was the elicited result.

He hissed and a gentle hand was felt at his shoulder.

"You're okay, I've got you, I've got you."

The voice was familiar but conscious thought still eluded him.

Everything hurt.

Thinking hurt.

Just then, the voice began humming a familiar tune that filled his darkness with starlight.

[silverskull]

Aside from each other, obviously, who is your favourite character for Tim and Lucy to each interact with? (So basically, your favourite non-Chenford relationship for each of them — platonic, professional, or otherwise.) And, who is the one character you wish they would each interact with more?

OOOH, SARAH. I do love this so very much.

I'm going to put it under a cut, because it got WAYYYY out of hand

Okay, well, let's start with my girl Lucy, because she deserves the world and all she got last season were multiple kicks in the teeth.

I loved Lucy and Jackson. I loved Lucy and Andersen. Both of them are gone, and who knows where Tamara will be this season, given that we have to make time FOR MONICA I GUESS, or whatever. Melissa herself said at the virtual con last weekend that she'd like to see more of Lucy with Grey - a mentor that comes without romantic entanglement - and I have to say, I loved the two of them together this season too.

Buuuuuuut... I would actually very very very much love to see Lucy spend some time with... GENNY. They got along so well, even besides the dark, mopey cloud that was moody Tim Bradford throughout their introduction arc, and I would love to see how that relationship developed once Genny officially knew about their relationship. I also feel like (having been the sister figure on the other side of a messsy breakup) those bonds can be very strong between women, and the man doesn't always figure into it once he's gone, even if he is your brother.

Also - this side eye I MEANNNNNN

Tim is a little bit more difficult. I love him with Genny too, obviously, but I am often very distracted by his face and not paying close enough attention to his interactions.

I love him with Angela, I do. And we got a good dose of that in S6, which is the only reason she doesn't make this list. I love him with Nyla, especially when they talk about Lucy (not sure what sort of Bechdel test this encroaches on) because having my two favourite grumps fight over their favourite sparkling little pixie is just delicious. And I love him with Grey, because - although he is still a superior and a mentor figure - over the years Tim has come to be more of an equal to the Watch Commander. And I LOVE that growth for him. I think part of it is Eric and Richard’s fantastic friendship shining through, but I’ll take everything I can get.

Honestly - I’m going to go with a cliche here and say I would like to have seen more of Tim with Tamara. I went sorta deep into their relationship when I wrote Saudade Season, and although I’m not fully on board with the whole Tamara-is-Chenford’s-daughter vibe, I do think they have an EERIE amount in common, and their connection to Lucy only solidifies that. Their banter back and forth when they did interact was always charming (I maintain that Tamara’s ‘Officer Zaddy’ quote was 90% directed at Lucy and only 10% girlcrush because, ewy) and they both have such similar loss and hurt in their childhoods and backgrounds that I think they are good for each other.

I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this on tumblr (you’re NOT allowed say it on twitter), but I’m holding off on my opinions of the ‘new rookies’ until S7 airs. I don’t know the actors, and they seem simply lovely, but I’m not going to dive off a cliff for them yet. So, for now, unless it leads to more chenford interaction, I’m not interested in adding MORE extra character backstories to The Monica Show, I mean The Rookie, sorry. 👀

And finally, in case I haven’t already entirely succeeded in avoiding your limit of 2/4 additional characters, I would have LOOOOOVED to see Chenford interact more with Rosalind. Sure, she could have whatever weird fascination she had with Nolan as a side gig, but I can’t believe that this woman was supposedly so calculating and clever that she evaded the entire LAPD, and then thought that killing Chris-motherfucking-dry-wipe-Sanford would be adequate vengeance on Lucy for escaping her clutches.

I know we were limited with the sad passing of Annie Wersching, and it is a terrible loss to her family (and the film world in general), but that bitch TOTALLY clocked that there was something going on between Tim and Lucy, and the only reason she couldn’t gain her proper revenge is because they were cavorting in the gangsters private airplane bathroom at 30,000 feet.

[mamadoc]

Worth The Wait - Act 3, Chapter 6

Fellow Chenford friends,

If you’ve followed along on the journey that this story has taken, it is now time for the beginning of your reward. You’ve made it through all the angst and uncomfortable and sometimes surprising life changes in acts one and two. You’ve met the kids and gotten to know and understand them somewhat in the beginning of act three. And now you’ll get to read 22k of Chenford finally starting to get on the same page.

Here’s a favorite scene of mine for you to enjoy.

Once they had all filed out, Tim closed the door behind them and walked back over to Lucy. She swung her legs back onto the bed and under the soft blanket Tamara had brought for her from home. She reached out for his hand again as he sat down.

“Ugh,” she moaned. “I’m so tired.”

“I’m sure. You should sleep,” he said stroking the back of her hand with his thumb.

“But what about you? You need to get some sleep, too.”

“I’ll be fine,” he said, denying every fiber of his body that said he was not at all fine and barely staying awake himself.

“Tim,” she chided. “You could go back home. Get a nap and come back later. I’m not going anywhere,” she laughed, pointing at the IV pole she was attached to at the moment. “I’m basically on house arrest at the hospital,” she said, laughing as she pointed to the multitude of hospital bracelets she had on each wrist.

He got a pained look on his face and stared into her eyes, unable to say anything. She could tell that he didn’t want to leave, and to be honest, she didn’t want him to go.

“Or… Or you could stay here and take a nap with me,” she offered quietly. Hopefully.

His eyebrows lifted as he searched her eyes. “But…”

“No buts,” she said stopping him, now determined to make him stay. “Come here.” She scooted all the way to the left side of the bed and patted the open space next to her. “There’s no way that sleeping in that chair is comfortable.”

He couldn’t argue with that point. Though the chair was covered with something that could potentially be called a cushion, there was nothing comfortable about it. However, sleeping next to Lucy seemed like a big leap forward. Less than twenty-four hours ago, he hadn’t seen her in over seven years, and now he’s climbing into bed next to her? He didn’t want to overstep or presume anything or go too fast.

After he stood there staring at her with his mouth slightly agape for a minute, Lucy reached for his hand and pulled him closer to her. “Stop overthinking it, Bradford,” she scolded playfully. “I’m not proposing or telling you to leave your job for me. And I’ll promise not to make a move on you until you’re ready. I just want both of us to get some sleep.”

Tim tilted his head to the side, raised his eyebrows, and pulled his lips into a flat line. Her logic was sound. It was just a quick nap. He wasn’t signing any type of contract or anything. Not that he would be completely opposed to a longer-term arrangement. He just… Wait. Did she really say that she wanted to make a move on him? That she was just waiting until he was ready? Was this really happening? No, then sleeping together was definitely not a good idea. Maybe if she wasn’t hurt… Maybe in another month… He didn’t want her to think that he…

“Tim,” she said interrupting his thoughts again. “Just sit down. Do I need to make this an order? I am your superior now,” she teased.

With the mention of seniority, he was pulled out of his panic and cracked a smile. She always knew how to get behind his walls. “Oh, that’s how it’s going to be now? Pulling the seniority card?”

Lucy shrugged her good shoulder. “If that’s what it takes.”

“You know I’m retired now, right? So I don’t need to take any orders from you,” he said, leaning into her space a little bit more.

“Would you just get over yourself and sit down?” she said in exasperation. “Please?”

“Well, since you said ‘please,’” he replied as the corners of his lips curled up into a smile. Tim fit himself into the open space on the bed, crowded uncomfortably onto the far side to leave as much space between them as possible.

“You know you’re being absolutely ridiculous now, right?” she said with her eyebrows raised. “I have a busted shoulder, not rabies or the plague. “Come here,” she said, tugging at his shirt to move him toward her.

Tim exhaled loudly and moved a few centimeters more toward Lucy, still leaving a sizeable gap.

“I’m just going to venture a guess that you haven’t slept with a woman in a while,” Lucy said as she stared at him with laughter in her eyes that she was trying to suppress.

“Not in over seven years,” he said as he watched critically how she was moving next to him.

Lucy propped herself up on her right elbow. “Not since Ashley?” she said in surprise.

“No one else was worth it,” he said simply as he looked back into her eyes.

Lucy smiled smugly at the insinuation that she was worth it. She lifted his arm and scooted toward him, resting her head over his heart and folding her good arm between them. “Mmmm… I suppose you’re going to have to be retrained then.”

Tim was stiff at first, both because of the newness of their situation and also because he was afraid to hurt her. However, as he felt Lucy melt into him, her warmth spreading along the full length of his body, all of his muscles started to relax. He shifted toward her slightly and curved the arm under her head around her.

“Ouch!” Lucy called out.

Tim jumped back immediately, rocking the whole bed.

Lucy broke out in a peal of laughter. “Just messing with you, Bradford. I’m fine. You really need to chill out.”

“Lucy!” he cried, his voice an octave higher than usual.

She patted his chest and pulled him back to where he had been a moment before.

“Relax. I’m just messing with you. How are we ever going to sleep if you’re this high strung?” she asked playfully.

“I just… I… I don’t want to hurt you again…” he muttered defensively.

His words trailed off and Lucy could sense that he was referring to more than just her hurt arm prank from a moment before. She took a couple beats to think about how she wanted to respond. Then she leaned her head back to meet his eyes. “I know you never intended to hurt me.”

Tim sensed that she was also talking about more than her shoulder injury and held his breath to see if she would say anything else.

“Just keep me close this time, and nothing bad will happen. I promise I’ll try to be good. It may not be perfect, but we can make this work.” Lucy stared at him through her eyelashes for another moment and then settled back onto his chest, satisfied that she had gotten her double message across and further broken his brain.

Now Tim was sure she was talking about more than just their napping arrangements. His mind was swirling and trying to process her words. But before he could find the right words to say in reply, Lucy’s breathing slowed into soft puffs across his chest. So instead of responding with words, he curled into her again, gently kissed the top of her head, and allowed his body to succumb to sleep as well.

I hope you enjoy it!

[alluringmettle]

Being together with Lucy @giftedenigma was the best decision they ever made. Their feelings had been there for a long time, but neither of them had been ready to give in at that time. Dating in secret was fun, no one teasing them about them finally having opened their eyes.

They came clean together to Grey the moment they gave in, but kept it a secret for anyone else, as they had paperwork for their relationship to fill out from Grey, agreeing that they can keep being partners but not show too much pda and stay professional.

That was not an issue for either of them. Not at all. Only Grey and Tamara knew about them, and for the moment they preferred it that way.

Lucy had just told him that tonight was the night, the night that he would make love to her for the first time, something he had been wanting ever since they got together.

She had invited him over for dinner at her apartment, and told him to come early. Now sitting at her counter, looking at that dress she is wearing and how sexy she looks. “Let’s skip dinner, let me make love to you right now Lucy, you look so amazing in that dress.” He stands up and walks up behind her, as he trail kisses along her neck softly.

It was such a thrill dating in secret, and not having to be teased about how long it took them to finally take the risk and date. They would come clean with everyone but Grey and Tamara as they already know, but everyone else very soon. He just likes to have her for just himself a little while longer.

[theflyindutchwoman]

How's that gonna work? You, me, and Tim? And that's assuming you wouldn't want to get your own place. Either way, there's no room for me. Hey. Sorry I'm late. Ready for the movie? I found out that Time After Time is on a streaming platform. I think I'm gonna crash. Are you sure? David Warner is amazing in this. Well, I guess it's just us. Popcorn?

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.14 - Death Notice

This scene has such an understated feel to it… After all the big moments, those milestones that we got to see, this one seems rather quiet in comparison… Instead of being at the forefront, it is simply implied that Tim has his own key to Lucy's apartment. But it is never shown directly : he just lets himself in. And that's because this scene is about seeing Tim and Lucy's relationship through Tamara's eyes. She is the main point of view. And this is that understatement, that casualness, along with how Tim seems to be at home with them, how he basically lives there, that lead credance to her worries about where she fits in now.

She's trying to figure out her place in this new dynamic. And there's a certain irony in the fact that she never questioned this when Lucy was with Chris, despite his wish to move in together. It is as if she knew all along that it was never meant to be that serious… And she probably did. This is one more way to emphasise how different Tim and Lucy's relationship is. Tamara has been by her side since she was still a rookie. She saw their relationship flourish and take a romantic turn with their first kiss and their secret relationship… She's even the one who pushed Lucy to stop taking things slow. So she knows how serious this is for the both of them. And with all the upheavals she has faced in her life, it's natural what she would be concerned...

What Tamara doesn't realise is that Tim and Lucy are spending all this time there for her. It is evident in how confused Lucy is when she explains she is saving money for a future place. It is written all over Tim's face when he joins them, looking positively thrilled to watch a movie with them. It is unmistakable in the way his face falls when she bails out, even after he tried to convince her to stay with them. He was really looking forward to spending a night with the two women : his little 'popcorn?' is utterly adorable. And it is apparent in the way Lucy is watching the exchange, worried and ruminating on their conversation. Knowing her, she was probably rewinding and reviewing all their recent interactions in her head to determine what she did to make her think such a thing. For a second it looks like she wants to go after Tamara, before deciding to give her some space. And that's the thing : if they wanted privacy, they could always go to Tim's house. They deliberately stay at Lucy's place, even if it's smaller, to spend time with her because she is a part of their family (and because it's cheaper to use that set).

But I really appreciate that Lucy waits for them to be alone to reassure Tamara. Even if it concerns Tim, she is the one who took the younger woman under her wings, who offered her a place to stay and helped her… who made her feel safe. So it is natural that Lucy is the one who shows Tamara that she is not a mere placeholder. Just like she did after Jackson's death. The fact that Tam can already picture Tim and Lucy moving together, having children, says a lot about their relationship. But it is even more meaningful that Lucy can imagine that same future… with her playing a part in it. She's not just Lucy's family : Tim has fully accepted her in his life as well, as evidenced by his desire to have her present for movie night, or by setting her up with a mechanic to check her car. And later, by keeping an eye on her while Lucy is undercover.

And that reference of these two having kids… I just love how Lucy is taken aback at first, but doesn't deny it either, simply stating that it's for the future. Their certitude… It's not if, but when… And Tamara gets to be a part of that dream. Of that future. That's really the beauty of their little 'chosen family'. All three of them comes from either broken homes, or dysfunctional families. Like Tim, Tamara was in a rough place when she met Lucy. And like him, she helped her, gave her a safe place (literally in this case). And now, they are a family. It's all so symbiotic and the fact that it came from a genuine desire to help without any expectation makes it even more special.

[bitter69uk]

“I knew the quality of what I was seeing: “Open Your Heart”, with its risqué peep show format, remains for me not only Madonna’s greatest video but one of the three or four best videos ever made. In the black bustier she made famous (transforming the American lingerie industry overnight), Madonna, bathed in blue-white light, plays Marlene Dietrich straddling a chair. Her eyes are cold, distant, all-seeing. She is ringed, as if in a sea-green aquarium, by windows of lewd or longing voyeurs: sad sacks, brooding misfits, rowdy studs, dreamy gay twins, a melancholy lesbian. “Open Your Heart” is a brilliant mimed psychodrama of the interconnections between art and pornography, love and lust. Madonna won my undying loyalty by reviving and recreating the hard glamour of the studio-era Hollywood movie queens, figures of mythological grandeur.”

/ From the essay “Venus of the Radio Waves” by Camille Paglia in The Independent Sunday Review, London, 21 July 1991 /

Released on this day (12 November 1986): “Open Your Heart”, the yearning, irresistible and triumphant fourth single from Madonna’s True Blue album. Like so many of her best songs, the lyrics cast Madonna as the determined romantic pursuer or aggressor (“I've had to work much harder than this / For something I want, don't try to resist me” she wails), while the video (directed by Jean-Baptiste Mondino) stylishly references Marlene Dietrich singing “Falling in Love Again” as Lola Lola in The Blue Angel (1930), Liza Minnelli singing "Mein Herr" as Sally Bowles in Cabaret (1972) and the erotic Art Deco paintings of Tamara de Lempicka. Now sing along with me: “I see you on the street and you walk on by / You make me wanna hang my head down and cry / If you gave me half a chance you'd see / My desire burning inside of me / But you choose to look the other way …”

[where-theres-smoak-2]

The Rookie Series Thoughts (Major Spoilers seasons 1-6!)

So due to health reasons I have spent the last couple of weeks bedridden, which has sucked, but to pass the time I decided to watch the entire series of the rookie, I'd seen some gifs here on tumblr and thought it looked interesting and turns out it really was, I love this show, its got it all, action, emotion and sometimes pure goofiness.

So here are some random thoughts I had about the series as a whole I am going to stick the rest under a page break because I had more thoughts than I realised, just be warned there are spoilers from here on out.

I really liked the concept in the first season of Nolan being this older guy starting out as a rookie and how this is unusual, it was interesting to see him navigate being the oldest rookie and seeing in what ways that put him at a disadvantage but also how in many ways it was actually an advantage to him and how his life experience meant he was able to connect with people, he knew how to talk them down. I also thought him becoming a TO was a good move for his character and I love the dynamic between him and Celina.

I also love all of the characters in this show. I've really enjoyed seeing them grow over the seasons and seeing the relationships strengthen and change, they really do seem like a family. The group chats they sometimes have over the radio our always hilarious. I love how Grey is like the dad of the group and is constantly trying to get his kids to behave.

Tim very much has that protective oldest child about him, he might seem gruff but as Lucy always says, underneath he's a big softie who always has his friends backs, I loved the scene when Angela is wedding dress shopping and calls Tim because she's upset that her bridesmaids said she has to hide her baby bump, he gave her the best response and the scene was funny but it also showed a softer side to Tim and he was so supportive of her, show off that baby belly Angela.

Angela, Nyla, Lucy, Tamara, Bailey, Luna and Talia are all badasses, I love the sisterhood between all the ladies, I also love how different they all are but how they are all awesome in their own ways. I think the show does a good job of portraying strong women without falling into the troupe of just giving a woman typically male traits, like yeah she's a good fighter and doesn't like girlie things so that makes her a badass trap, they are still allowed to be women. Hope I am making sense there, there are all allowed to be there own person instead of just a cookie cutter 'tough chick' but are all also 'strong women' in their own right.

Jackson was also a really interesting character. I thought it was interesting how they explored how his father being this well respected cop had an effect on his own journey as a cop. Both the good and the bad sides of it. How he never really had any other dream than being a cop and how he had to explore whether that was really his own dream or whether he just went with that because he comes from a cop family. Also showing how he had to deal with the expectations of everyone knowing his father was this almost legendary cop along with his father's expectations for him. I was so upset when Jackson was killed, like I was so shocked by it and it took me a hot minute to accept that he really was gone.

It was also a shame to see Talia leave the show earlier on but at least she is still alive and just at another station. Still I really liked her character and wished we could have gotten more time with her.

Aaron and Celina are both really great additions to the cast as well. They both have these dark tragic backgrounds, Aaron being falsely charged with the murder of his friend and Celina having to go through her sister being abducted and murdered. It's interesting to see how this effects how they do their jobs and how they see police work. For Aaron I do think it helps him relate to those calls involving people who have been incarcerated in the past because he himself has experienced being in prison, it gives him a special edge. I also really like Celina's intuitiveness and how she is into the psychic stuff, aura's and dreams etc, I also like that although it throws Nolan he doesn't dismiss it, he helps her use it to improve her police work, its an interesting element to add and I think it makes sense for her character. I also really love Celina and Aaron's relationship, I love their friendship but I do wonder if they will eventually become a romantic pairing, they have kind of teased it but it also looks like they might chalk it up to being a result of the trauma they went through together. Honestly I am happy either way, like I said I already love their friendship so if they decide to keep them as friends that's all good, but if they do decide to shift them into something romantic I wouldn't hate it.

What I really love about all the characters is that they aren't perfect, they all have their flaws. You might not always agree with them or like what they are do but they are all growing and these flaws make them seem more real.

I also really enjoyed those special episodes where they are filming a documentary, there have been three so far, the cult one, the one covering Aaron's case and them solving Patrick's murder and the one with Jake and Sava. They are weird but in the best way possible. I don't think I'd like for every episode to be like that but they are fun as occasional one offs, like if they did one a season or every other season going forward I'd be happy. I love how goofy they are but also at the same time they are really engaging and suspenseful, like you are along for the ride just waiting for the next twist in the tale. I also love how they have those interviews with the police officers, those episodes are just really fun.

Ok so we have to talk about the ships, my favourite part of watching a new show is adding to my ship list and I am pleased to announce that there are some really good ships in this show.

I love Angela and Wesley, their dynamic at the start was really funny to watch because it was that kind of enemies to lovers type arc with the whole lawyer vs cop thing, I thought it was really funny when they are both arguing with each other and the criminal Jackson was arresting was like 'man they really dig each other.' They had a very passionate and fun dynamic and I really loved watching that grow into a steady loving marriage. Seeing them navigating marriage and parenthood, Jack is the cutest lil one, I love that they named him after Jackson and I am sure their new daughter is going to be just as adorable, have we been told her name yet, because I don't think we have? Anyway, I also like that it isn't also smooth sailing and that they do hit bumps in the road but that it is clear that they still love each other.

I also really enjoyed Nolan and Bailey's relationship, loved seeing them finally tie the knot in 6x02 and of course their honeymoon turned into a murder mystery type situation because its Nolan the bad luck magnet, but I do love how playful they are with each other and how they have that competitiveness. Similar to the Lawyer vs Cop thing that Angela and Wesley have going on, Nolan and Bailey have the whole Firefighter vs Cop thing which they play off as another fun dynamic between them. I like the whole, she runs into fires and he runs towards bullets line that they had, I also like that while they both worry about the other because they both have dangerous jobs, they both still respect that is part of the other's jobs and understands that they are capable and have been trained to deal with that aspect of their jobs. They have professional respect for each other as well as respect within their romantic relationship. I am excited to see more of them.

Nyla and James are also a really cute couple and their baby girl is the cutest but maybe its just me but I don't think we see this couple as much as the others, I wish we could see more of them. But I do enjoy their scenes together and I love that James' character isn't like a lawyer, cop or firefighter and how he's a community worker, its interesting seeing the perspective of someone who is a community member and is outside of the justice/service if I am making sense there. I just think James adds a new and interesting perspective to the show and I wouldn't say no to seeing more of him and of him and Nyla together.

Ok but now we have to talk about my favourite ship in this show, because they have taken over my heart and I am obsessed with them. Chenford, Tim and Lucy, I loved them from the very beginning and I have loved seeing their dynamic change and grow over the seasons and how they went from TO and Boot to literal soulmates who are deeply in love with each other.

The interesting thing about Tim and Lucy's dynamic in the first couple of seasons is that you could almost see Tim as being a bit of an asshole with all these Tim Tests he does on her, like he's just being mean and messing with her for the sake of it, but when he gets a new rookie and he's being really nice to her so Lucy confronts him and he explains that he trains his rookie's according to what they need. His new rookie had just got out of the military and needed help recognising that not everyone was the enemy and that people could be nice and kind. Lucy on the other hand kind of saw the world as sunshine and rainbows, she sees the best in everyone, she really is the sweetest, which is great in many ways but Tim had to show her that the world wasn't always a nice place and sometimes people do bad things and she should be on her guard sometimes. As much as the Tim Tests weren't fun for Lucy every one of them held an important lesson. The one where he said he's been shot and she had to call for help where was she, showed that it was important for her to always be aware of her surroundings and it pays off when Tim really is shot later and she saves his life, taking her duty belt when she went to the toilet taught how important it was to make sure the toilets were floor to ceiling or the belt wasn't secure and how important it was to make sure her gun was always secure so it doesn't end up on the street, the flour bomb taught her that using a radio near an IED can cause it to go off. So it wasn't just him being an asshole because, he had valuable lessons to teach her.

But I also loved that their relationship wasn't just about what he could teach her but that he learns from her too. I really do think she softens him and helps him heal from the trauma from his abusive father, she helps him to become more open about how he is feeling. Watching them pull pranks on each other is also really fun, like Lucy doesn't just lay down and take it, she gives back as good as she gets. Like when she takes his money clip, or leaves him the bar tap or puts the booties in his locker.

When they do start getting into the romantic era of their relationship their scenes are just so so good, there are so many golden moments like right from their first kiss where they are practising being a couple before going undercover and then realise that it didn't feel all that fake. Got to love the fake dating turns to real feelings troupe. What I really loved about this plotline was how it was actually Tim who was more open about his feelings which was unexpected. Like he was the one that confronted Lucy in the hotel room when undercover and said that it didn't feel like pretend whilst she was still in denial and went with 'its just basic biology' sure Lucy sure. It was also Tim who asks Lucy out first and I love that whole scene, it is definitely one that I rewatched more than a few times. I love how vulnerable but intimate it was. How Lucy is scared to take it further and admits that Tim is the most important relationship in her life. How she says its not worth the risk but Tim says what if it is before taking that deep breath and asking her out. They are both just all smiles and you can see how happy they are with each other. I love how that conversation about it being worth the risk parallels with the conversation they have about how Lucy deserves someone who is worth the effort.

Other stand out scenes are their first dates in 5x10, both of them (though I would still argue that their first date was that double date they went on with Ashley and Chris because lets be real those two might as well not have been there Chenford were so wrapped up in each other), their first time in 5x12, their breakfast scene in 5x20, they are just so domestic, their 'I love you' scenes in 6x02 and the trophy scene in 6x03, but honestly I love every one of their scenes and I can't wait to see more of them.

I love seeing how supportive they are of each other, like how happy Lucy is every time Tim gets a promotion and how she reassured him that he wasn't like his father, how he supports Lucy with her undercover work even though he has issues due to his past with Isabel and how he tells her she could never disappoint her, which I think is really important for Lucy because she has always felt like she has let down her parents so I think its great that she has that support and reassurance from Tim.

Anyway I could talk about Chenford forever but I think I have rambled about them enough so I'll stop now and move on.

If there is one plotline or scene that really stood out to me over the whole series it has to be the one with Rosalind and Lucy's abduction. The show has alot of really great plotlines and covers some really important issues throughout the series but this one really is one that got me in the feels, like it wrecked me. I think Rosalind was a truly terrifying villain not just because of the crimes she committed, which are horrifying in themselves, but because of the way she relishes it, the way she gets enjoyment not just out of committing the murders and inflicting pain on her victims but because of the way she also gets pleasure from seeing her victim's loved ones pain and suffering too, its just so disturbing. Also how she continues to kill even from her jail cell by taking on acolytes to do her bidding like Caleb.

The one scene that always gets me no matter how many times I watch it is the one where Lucy is in the barrel buried alive and is singing dream a little dream, there's no background music or any other sound, its just her voice and they show clips of the team all searching for her. It's just such an intense and emotional scene and it gives me goosebumps and makes me want to cry every time, it just never seems to lose its impact no matter how many times you watch it.

The moment Tim finds her burial site and the whole team are just digging with their hands trying to get her out in time, when they get her out and she isn't breathing and again there is very little sound just a few notes of sorrowful music here and there, then she wakes up and just breaks down crying whilst Tim holds her, its just as heartbreaking and suspenseful and I cry, every time. I just think the whole team did an amazing job with that episode.

That whole plotline is terrifying, suspenseful and heartbreaking. Just the idea of being buried alive is horrifying to me, also the whole idea of her day of death being tattooed on to her is another thing that is psychologically terrifying. I do love what Tim said though about how Lucy can choose to see it as a mark of her biggest failure or what it really is a mark of the first day of the rest of her life and that it shows that she is a survivor. I do wonder whether she kept the tattoo or not because I don't think we are ever told in the show whether she went through with the removal or not.

I would like for the trauma this left on both Lucy and Tim to be brought back up again at some point. Whilst they did explore some of Lucy's trauma over what happened and some of Tim's guilt I do think there is even more to explore there, because it really was so traumatic. Like is that song still a trigger for Lucy, are small dark places? It could be interesting to see her working through some of the lingering trauma. Also I do feel like Tim is traumatised by what happened but in a different way, like during the episode where Lucy was abducted you really did see how it effected Tim in particular, he felt responsible for Lucy and was frantic to find her and I think it effected him more than he realised and that it stayed with him and now that he and Lucy are together and she is exploring undercover work I do wonder if some of his issues are also connected to what happened with Rosalind as much as his past with Isabel, but that is just speculation on my part.

Anyway going to wrap this up now, overall I really did enjoy this show and now that I am all caught up I am looking forward to seeing what's going to happen next with all of our beloved characters. I am also officially declaring myself a huge Chenford shipper and if you follow my blog then fair warning I am going to be reblogging every gif set I come across for the foreseeable future, sorry not sorry.

[beckettj]

Rum and Wagers

Roses are red Violets are blue Rum is much cheaper Than dinner for two Especially when your best friend co-owns a bar and gives it you for nothing. Single on Valentine’s Day, Emma goes to bartender and best friend, Killian, for alcohol and advice on how not to be single for next Valentine’s Day.

3050 words of Valentine's Day fluff.

Read on Ao3

“I hate Valentine’s Day! It’s nothing but a huge corporate scam!”

Emma huffed as she reached the bar. She grabbed the cheap, cardboard, heart-shaped beer mats and flung them across the room onto a vacant table, as far away from her as she could possibly get them. She dropped onto a barstool, rested her elbow on the bar and leaned her face against her fist.

Killian stood behind the bar, tea towel in hand, drying off recently washed glasses. He raised an eyebrow, watching her in amusement, and failed to hold back a chuckle.

“You were all over Valentine’s Day last year,” he recalled. “In fact, I distinctly remember being the one to watch over your lad whilst you want off to some swanky five-star hotel with the twat-that-shall-not-be-named.”

“Because you were and still are depressingly single and now I’m in the same damn boat,” Emma groaned. “I can’t believe I’m single on Valentine’s Day.”

“Well, you know what they say, love. Roses are red, violets are blue-”

“Oh, no.”

“Rum is much cheaper than dinner for two,” he finished with a grin, brandishing a brand-new, untouched bottle of rum from beneath the bar. “Especially when your best friend co-owns a bar and gives it you for nothing.”

He retrieved two rum glasses and set them on the bar, promptly uncapping the bottle and pouring the liquid into both glasses. Emma chuckles as he went overboard on the measures. He always knew when she was looking to get drunk.

He set the bottle down and reached out for one of the glasses.

She looked at him curiously, “Drinking on the job?”

He lifted his glass and gestured around the empty bar with it, “I realise you’re caught up in your moping, Swan, but it’s utterly dead in here. The Rabbit Hole isn’t exactly the hotspot for a romantic Valentine’s Day date.”

Emma sighed as she picked up her glass, “Are you saying we’re the only two single people in Storybrooke?”

“Well, the only two sociable single people at any least,” Killian remarked. “So, cheers to that.”

They clinked their glasses together then simultaneously necked the entirety of their contents, placing the empty glasses back down on the bar with a light, synchronised thud.

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Neal is just as single as you are,” Killian pointed out.

“So much for not naming him,” Emma muttered. “And I don’t know about that. I’ve heard the rumours about him cosying up to Tamara.”

“Ah, you’ve caught that then?”

Killian picked up the rum bottle again, pouring out more alcohol.

“I mean, it’s fast, right? What’s it been, a month? Is it even a month? That doesn’t add up, does it?” Emma questioned.

Killian opted not to answer, instead taking one good, long swig of his rum.

“This is the part where you tell me he wouldn’t have cheated on me,” Emma prompted.

“I’m afraid I couldn’t tell you that, Swan,” Killian replied. “Unfortunately, I believe the prick is more than capable of disrespecting you like that.”

Emma happily took the second drink waiting for her.

“You deserve better than Cassidy, love,” Killian told her. “I hope you realise that.”

“And you tried to tell me that all along,” Emma spoke with a long, regretful sigh. “Why the hell didn’t I listen to you?”

“I’m both your bartender and your best friend,” Killian pointed out. “I exist to listen to all your problems and give you astonishingly good advice that you’ll inevitably ignore.”

“Maybe it’s time we change that,” Emma proposed. “So how do I avoid being single by next Valentine’s Day?”

Killian paused, brow furrowing as he considered, and then shook his head, “Maybe it’s best we don’t mess with the trusted, old-age system of you electing to ignore my advice?”

“Oh, come on! Don’t hold out on me now! Not when I’m finally ready to listen to you,” she encouraged.

She finished her drink and promptly took matters into her own hands, leaning over the bar to pick up the bottle of rum and pour out her latest drink.

He hastily grabbed the bottle out of her hands, stopping her from pouring any further. The contents of her glass threatened to spill over the brim, forcing her to lean forwards and sip some from it before she was able to lift it without spilling any. Killian placed the bottle to the back of the bar, out of her reach but still well within his.

His own glass would need topping up soon enough.

“You do realise, Swan, that you’re asking dating advice from a guy who is, and I’ll quote, ‘pathetically unacquainted with the dating world of the twenty-first century’?” he challenged, his arms folded across his chest, a bemused smirk meeting his gleaming blue eyes.

Emma took a swig of her drink and frowned, “Someone said that about you? I mean, they’re not exactly wrong; I don’t think you have dated anyone since high school and we graduated in oh-one. Of course, I know you had that weird friends-with-benefits kind of set-up with Tink in college but that hardly counts as dating. Anyway, I digress… who, who said that about you?”

“You did.”

“I did?”

“Aye.”

“When?”

“Last night.”

“Ooohhh,” Emma drew out upon vaguely recalling the conversation. “In my defense, I was very drunk last night.”

“Mmm,” Killian hummed as he finished his drink and began topping it up. “It appears tonight is headed in a similar direction.”

“What else is there to do when you’re single on Valentine’s Day? Which reminds me, you’re holding out on me,” Emma downed a good chunk of her drink and pointed at him with her glass. “This astonishingly good advice you spoke of earlier, put your money where your mouth is and hit me with it.”

“On this, I’m none the wiser, else I wouldn’t be single myself, would I?” he reasoned with her.

He proceeded to take a big gulp of his drink, lowered it from his lips, then promptly decided to take another large swig.

“Well, you’re no help! I’ll have to work it out for myself, won’t I? The way I see it, I’ve got a few options,” Emma mused. “So, single men of Storybrooke… there’s Gold-”

Killian broke into a hard burst of laughter which almost caused him to choke on his drink, “Your ex’s father? You’ve gotta be bloody joking!”

“If you let me finish, I was about to rule him out,” Emma returned. “How desperate do you think I am?”

“Not desperate at all,” Killian responded immediately, “which is exactly why your list of single men in Storybrooke goes as follows; Leroy’s not your type, Sidney’s ruled out after you punched him in the jaw, Whale’s… well, Whale, Graham – if I recall correctly – was a fling way back when and nothing else, and August was friend-zoned after the first drink, the poor sod.”

“And your list of single women in Storybrooke goes; Belle who punched you in the jaw-”

“That was a huge misunderstanding, and you know it, Swan!”

“Zelena who, well, good luck to you if you go down that road, and Lily who can’t hold a serious relationship to save her life,” Emma recounted. “So, what are we to do, Killian? We can’t be doomed to be single forever.”

He hastily downed the contents of his glass and poured himself a healthy refill, even topping her glass up despite it not even being half-empty. He took another big gulp of his rum then set it down. He scratched the back of his neck, and his jaw twitched as he finally looked her way again.

She stared at him expectantly and, when he remained silent, prompted, “What?”

“What?” he returned.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

He downed his refill of rum then dared to innocently question, “What?”

“You’ve just shipped a boat load of liquid courage,” she pointed out, “and you’ve got that look on your face.”

“What look? I don’t have a look.”

“You do have a look! Your eyes are all narrowed, you’re frowning, your jaw keeps twitching and you’re scratching your neck like a cat with fleas,” she challenged him. “That’s your ‘I’ve got something to say but it’ll make things worse’ look.”

Killian gave up on the glasses, gulping down the rum straight from the bottle. He set the near-empty bottle on top of the bar. Between them, they’d made light work of its contents.

He eventually spoke, “In all our discussions about your options in the last month, there’s one eligible guy in Storybrooke that you’ve yet to consider.”

“Really?” Emma sounded unconvinced. “It’s a small town. Single guys around here are hard to come by. I thought we had them all covered. Sidney, Leroy, Whale, Graham, August… who am I missing?”

The dregs at the bottom of the rum bottle were coaxed down Killian’s throat.

“Me.”

The empty bottle hit the bar with a resounding thud.

Emma laughed.

“I’m entirely serious, Swan.”

Emma composed herself, lifted her head up and everything had changed. She saw Killian in a whole new light, not as her best friend or her bartender but as a man who had always looked at her as if she were his whole world; the very man who she had called – day and night – whenever she and Neal had argued, the man who would drop everything to be by her side, the man who had always known whether she needed alcohol, an ear to talk off, a shoulder to cry on, or a punching bag, and provided it without ever being asked.

The words started to pour out of Killian’s mouth, “I can’t keep pretending that there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you, that you don’t brighten my day every time you walk into this mere tavern. I can’t keep pretending like it didn’t crush my heart to see you with Neal, that I didn’t feel a glimpse of hope every time you two argued, that it didn’t kill me every time you decided to reconcile with that prat.”

“Killian.”

“The bloody fool doesn’t even realise what he’s given up,” Killian continued. “You’re amazing; you’re smart and you’re strong and so breathtakingly beautiful. You’re a shining light in a dark world-”

“Killian.”

“-like a lighthouse guiding me safely home to shore. And I could have stood here and given you the advice you were looking for, told you to give online dating a go, but I couldn’t run the risk of standing here, forced to watch once more as an unworthy man treats you like dirt on the bottom of his shoe when you deserve to be treated like a princess-”

“Killian.”

“-and whilst I treasure our friendship deeply – it’s that which has kept me holding my tongue so bloody long – I know grander treasure lies beneath the surface of what we share already, if only we’re both willing to fight for it. Because I would, Emma, I would fight for-”

“Killian!” Emma snapped, finally succeeding in cutting him off.

Or, at the very least, she had thrown him from his rambling thoughts for he gulped at her pointed tone and promptly backtracked, “I’m sorry, Emma, forget I said anything. I – rum! The bloody thing is like a tru-”

“Fucking hell, Jones, kiss me already!”

He didn’t need telling twice; he leapt impressively over the bar and before Emma could even marvel at that feat, his lips crashed against hers and her thoughts melted away; the rest of the world and her worries with them. His warm, gentle hands rushed all over her body, desperately exploring, as her hands gripped tightly to his hair, keeping him close, entangling her fingers in his dark locks. The rum on his breath harmonised with hers and her heart leapt in her chest, the little hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, for they clung to each other – lips, hands, fingers, legs – as if fighting for their lives. Her mind was convinced she’d been reborn, experiencing her first kiss all over again for the kiss is unparalleled to anything she’d ever experienced before, as if she’d been doing it wrong.

She chased after his lips when he moved back, initiating a series of small, yearning, fast kisses – his lips remaining attentive, coming and going like waves against a ship – neither wanting the moment to end, both gasping for oxygen and made breathless by the desperate passion of the initial kiss. She couldn’t let him go, clutching onto his neck for dear life. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, claiming him as hers, and chuckled teasingly against his lips.

“I want you,” she murmured, her lips dancing and brushing against his as she did so.

His voice was steeped in desire, low and impossibly enticing, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words.”

She smiled against his lips, “Good things come to those who wait.”

“I’m done waiting.”

“Good.”

Despite his words, he pulled his head back and she leaned after him.

“Wait,” he spoke gravely.

“You’re a fucking tease, Jones,” she complained.

“I don’t want a one-time fling.”

“I don’t want a one-time fling,” she returned.

“I’m done with flings.”

“I never started.”

“Uhh…”

“Other than Graham.”

“I want this, beyond tonight.”

“Me too.”

“Good.”

He took a few steps forward and she clung to him in the way a crying child clings to its mother, fully prepared to delve into a tantrum should someone so wickedly take him from her. He placed her down gently, perched on the edge of the pool table. He was too far away, half a step away, and she pulled him in by his jacket, smothering herself in him.

He kissed her again and showed off, proving men can be capable of multi-tasking by ripping her shirt from her body simultaneously, the buttons bouncing and rolling along the floor, forgotten instantly. He pulled back from her, and she reached out urgently for him, too far away, as he hastily removed his shirt from his body.

He pounced on her before his shirt could hit the floor, his presence guiding her down onto the pool table, sending the neatly arranged balls spawling across the table. He craved her as much as she craved him, more so perhaps. Where the fog of Neal and past lovers had finally lifted, allowing Emma to see him clearly for the first time, Killian had been biding his time, awaiting the very moment for most of his life. Her enticing figure had featured in many a dream since their high school days and he wasn’t fully convinced he wasn’t dreaming. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d been duped by such cruel, lifelike dreams, fast asleep on the bar, empty bottles of merchandise surrounding him. If it were a dream, he hoped no one woke him; if it truly were a bloody miracle, he aimed to impress.

He danced a series of kisses down her neck, burrowing his nose against her skin, soaking in the sweet, combined scent of rum, cinnamon, and the raspberry air freshener she insisted on keeping in her old car. His onslaught of kisses continued lower, against her shoulder, down her collarbone and to the top of her chest. His tongue was keen to join the party, gliding over the top of her right breast as his fingers worked at the clasp of the bra strap on her back, her own hands working at his belt, the brushing of her arm against his crotch only fuelling his longing for her.

“Bloody hell.”

A new voice broke their moment.

They froze. Emma’s bra dropped. Killian’s belt released, his pants dropping to unveil white boxers beneath; ones which left very little to Emma’s imagination.

Or Liam and Elsa’s.

The couple stood at the bar, staring in shock at the sight before them. Killian raced to hitch his pants up and chucked his previously abandoned shirt at Emma, aiding her urgent attempt to cover up.

“Now I’m glad the pair of you have gotten your shit together and stopped staring longingly at each other’s backs but for fuck’s sake, Killian, not on my bloody pool table!” Liam sounded simultaneously pleased and irate.

“Amazing timing as always, Liam,” Killian muttered and helped Emma from the pool table. “Come on, love, I have a private room above.”

Killian got Emma as far as the bottom of the stairs before Liam called out after them, “Oh, do me a favour and don’t go public with this ‘til March or else I’ll have to fork over a hundred dollars to Will; sneaky bastard claimed February right from under me!”

“You and Will wagered on this?” Killian remarked in surprise, all the while pulling Emma further up the stairs.

“Mate, the whole bloody town is in on this thing,” Liam returned. “In fact, it’s her best mate, Mary Margaret, who’ll be quids in should you hold off ‘til Match.”

“She could do with the money,” Emma mused as they reached the top of the stairs. “For the wedding.”

“And I could do with you, in my bed, right now,” Killian growled out impatiently.

“Your wish is my command.”

It was a wish she not only granted that night, but regularly in the nights which followed until his bed became their bed and by the next Valentine’s Day neither one of them was desperately single, instead madly in love, celebrating not only Valentine’s Day but the anniversary of the day they became more than friends. As far as the whole town were aware, it was nothing more than Valentine’s Day for March the third had been the day Will had ‘walked in’ on their ‘first kiss’ and promptly cursed them out for not ‘seeing the bloody obvious’ three days earlier.

Mary Margaret gained an extra one-thousand-one-hundred dollars to put towards her fairytale wedding.

Emma and Killian never got an explanation for why twelve people were so willing to place a hundred dollars on a bet involving the two of them; they did both agree never to speak of the tampered wager but conceded that a bottle of rum could well uncover the truth hidden between them…

----

Tag List (taken from the CSMM list - let me know if you want adding/taking off).

@teamhook @laianely @booksteaandtoomuchtv @exhaustedpirate @anmylica @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @undercaffinatednightmare @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie @motherkatereloyshipper @soniccat @jrob64 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jonesfandomfanatic @myfearless-love

[te-pu-si-ti]

Punchdrunk as hypertext

I am in the greenhouse room, and I clutch at my heart. What I see before me is a person in black latex receiving a drug on their tongue like holy communion. There are only two characters in the room: Kampe, and their dealer. But what I experience is much greater, because I can hear the music echoing: the music signalling that on the other side of the city, a city has fallen and a princess is dead, hanging up above, bare-chested and bloodied for all to see.

I remember her. It was her birthday, we danced with her, she stumbled into the arms of her lover.

I know this from an hour ago, before time reset.

I am in the flower shop, and I gasp. A tango is playing through the tinny speaker of the radio. The shopkeeper picks up a bouquet - her bouquet - and he twirls around, holding it in his arms, dancing a tango with a prop that is the start of Persephone's story, to the music that is the near-climax of her story.

I know this from months before, because I have been here before but it was different. It's different every time. There's so much to take in, and I have to choose who I see and what I focus on, and the context I bring with me is constantly developing.

That's a familiar criticism. Too many choices, no coherent story.

But Pope (2009) isn't a criticism of a Punchdrunk masked show - it's a criticism of a HTML novella, These Waves of Girls, hypertext, a story that you wade into by clicking through links. A story that leads you down many different paths, depending on how you choose to follow them.

Don't worry if you get lost - you're already lost. Embrace your curiosity. Turn your fear into desire. Fortune favours the bold.

The link is the most important new form of punctuation since the comma... Links make manifest the way texts relate to other texts, the way they structure themselves, and the way they restructure our thinking.

A reference to another scene, a repeated movement hearkens back to something you witnessed minutes ago, hours ago, weeks ago. A prop moves across buildings, touched by many hands along the way. Characters intersect, and you take a different path, thrown into another story before you reunite for a finale.

You ever gone down a Wikipedia rabbit hole? Clicking link after link, opening up a dozen new tabs, somehow finding your way from Scooby-Doo to Leukemia to learning the Yupik word for bread?

Her Story is an FMV video game where you uncover the story by searching a database of video clips for keywords. As you search for clues, things that don't make sense stick in your mind, because they might be important later. A new piece of information can cast something you've already seen in a completely new light.

You can stay with one thread, or you can let your curiosity guide you, bouncing around from one storyline to the next. It might not make sense at first, seeing everything out of order - but then as you make sense of it, you will form those connections, perhaps even more strongly than you would have done if you had watched a linear story that you didn't have to work for.

...the spaces of reading and writing shift in a hypertextual environment and the reader is required to adopt a mode of engagement in terms of an unstable textual terrain, which involves them in productive and creative processes as well as receptive ones...

"Because everything is constructed, everything becomes significant, in the artistic context everything ordinary becomes extraordinary." - Sam Booth

Uncle Buddy's Phantom Funhouse is a collection of digital and physical ephemera - notes, photos, lyrics, scribbles, all telling the story of this man you knew as Uncle Buddy, who has now died. You leaf through them, choosing what to pay attention to, taking away what you deem significant, building an image based on what he left behind.

 It does have an option to spell out the answer to the riddle if you want to skip that, but the significance might be lost in the process. ...

Description of Tamara, an example of theatre dubbed 'hyperdrama', theatrical hypertext.

"Punchdrunk's Sleep No More is an astonishing production that does nearly everything I had imagined hyperdrama could achieve, and much that I had assumed it could not." ... "The experience works here, but it is going to be different for everyone. How many people get to see Mrs. DeWinter’s scene? Of those, how many are in the bar when the band strikes up Paper Moon ? How many get the Woyzeck allusion the next day, or ever? This is the nature of the medium."

Seriously, read this article by Mark Bernstein.

 It’s not a game. Nothing you (or they) can do can prevent the fall of Troy or its terrible aftermath. Yet your choices (and chance) matter, and your reading of Those Trojan Girls is likely to differ from any other reading.

(hypertext is also, sadly, ephemeral, linked to its time and place. The above linked work is less than a decade old but I doubt I'd find what I need to read it, the right software and the right hardware of the right version with all the right features. Digital rot everywhere. Who has a floppy drive anymore? Who has Flash anymore? Just like nobody will experience The Burnt City anymore. Just like, soon, nobody will experience the McKittrick Hotel anymore.)

My first show: I see a man swinging upside down, hanging from the ceiling. The image haunts me. I do not know him, nor do I know the two onlookers. But it stays with me.

Many months later, I see him again, and he is an old friend - his name is Laocoön, a seer, and he is burdened with a prophecy from Apollo. Cassandra looks on, distraught, while the vengeful god puppets him. He is showing her the fate of her sister.

I remember her. It was her birthday. We danced with her. I watched her die, over and over and over. I remember every moment, every branching path, every intersection, and she isn't here, but she's all around us.

"There is no longer one author but two, as reader joins the author in the making of the text" - Jay David Bolter, "Literature in the Electronic Writing Space" "Go back into the light. Remember what you've seen... We love you so deeply. It's nothing without you." - Lily Jo Ockwell as Persephone, September 24, 2023

Lily photo by @rhianbwatts

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

whimsicallyenchantedrose

Season 2 Rewatch Drabbles--2x21-2x22 Second Star to the Right ... And Straight on Til Morning

Summary:  A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my    rewatch of season 2 of Once Upon a Time as an attempt to finally jump    start the muse again.  There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a    “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season.  Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on the very beginnings of Captain Swan’s epic love story, as soon as a certain dashing pirate makes his appearance.  

Word Count: 766 (why did I think I could stick to a word count again?)

@jrob64​  @anmylica​   @booksteaandtoomuchtv

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (17.5) (18) (19) (20) (22)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hook stood at the wheel of the Jolly Roger looking out at the horizon as he sailed determinedly out of Storybrooke.

They’d all gone mad.  All of them, even Swan.  What manner of fools these heroes were.  Willing to risk all of their lives–the lives of everyone in the town–for the miniscule chance of saving the Evil Queen, of all people.

The Evil Queen whom they should rightly want to see dead for her part in trapping her in this strange little town in the first place.

He’d returned to town with Greg and Tamara, seduced by their vow to help him kill his Crocodile once and for all, but it had been the work of mere moments to realize the pair were blithering idiots, mindless zealots for a cause they didn’t understand at the behest of a master they didn’t even know.

When they’d revealed the full extent of their plan to him–destroying the town and everyone not born in this land, he’d realized he’d been an utter fool to throw in his lot with them.  Aye, their plan would kill the Dark One, but it would also kill everyone else in this town, including him.

Including Swan.  How she’d so thoroughly gotten under his skin, even after she’d betrayed him–twice: once on the beanstalk and then again when she locked him in a broom closet in New York–he didn’t know.  All he knew for sure was that she’d been right.

The two of them understood each other.  There was some manner of tether connecting her to him, one that he hardly had time to ponder with the end of the word staring him in the face.

For a split second he’d actually considered staying the course, letting the failsafe do its job and ridding the world of the Dark One forever.

But then he’d remembered the conversation he’d had with Regina in the mines. Do you ever think this constant pursuit of revenge is the reason we have no one to care for us?

He’d spent centuries hunting his Crocodile, willing to do all manner of dastardly deeds in the furtherance of that goal, but this … this was a step too far.  Hook had never minded committing villainous acts to those who deserved it, those who got in his way, but Greg and Tamara proposed massacring an entire town of innocents.

It was the height of bad form.

And so he’d turned to the heroes, and for a moment he’d thought they’d found a solution to their problems–until Queen Snow had convinced the rest to go along with her hare-brained scheme of tossing the failsafe into a portal.

He’d taken his leave then, ready to wash his hand of the entire town–heroes, villains, all of them.  The only one he could depend on was himself.

As he continued to sail, he looked down at the sparkly magic bean in his hand, and his eye caught the letters he’d carved into the helm on that day so many years ago.

Bae.

He’d let the boy down, serving him up to Pan on a silver platter, as it were.  Of all of his deeds, that was perhaps the one of which he was the most ashamed.  He’d chosen himself over the boy, over his Milah’s son.

And now he was doing the same to Bae’s lad.

Hook closed his eyes as the pain washed over him.  He didn’t want to be that man any more.  He’d made the selfish choice centuries ago, but he needn’t repeat that error.  He blew out a long breath and then pocketed the bean, slowly turning the wheel to head back into port.

This plan was still reckless.  It was still stupid. 

But it was the right thing to do.  He might well perish in a matter of hours, but at least he would die doing the right thing.

He would die a hero.

Notes:  Sorry for the delay!  I got caught up writing birthday fics, and this rewatch drabbles series fell a bit to the wayside.

–As you can see from the title, this particular chapter kind of encompasses both 2x21 and 2x22.  The truth is, there wasn’t much in 2x21 that inspired me, aside from themes I’ve already explored earlier in the series.  In contrast, I really, really wanted to explore things from both Hook’s and Emma’s perspectives in the events of 2x22, so I decided this was the best option.  Combining 2x21 and 2x22 and writing a chapter from each character.  Emma’s reflection should be up (assuming the muse cooperates) tomorrow, and then it’s on to Neverland!

NEXT CHAPTER-->

[owlsandwich]

The Mechanics of Magic

Read along with me :D - Chapter 22

Chapter 1 | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Our first look into Oliver's mind.

A story about researching a book, along with all the cash on him, was enough to convince the bar manager to let Oliver down to the wine cellar. This had to be one of the oldest pubs in the city, and though he didn’t consider himself particularly tall, he still had to duck low as he made his way to the stairs. Centuries of spilt alcohol had permeated the wooden floorboards and beams, mingling with the sweat of packed tourists seeking relief from the heat outside. With any luck, the crowds brought by the anniversary holiday would keep the staff too busy to come and check up on him.

“This is the right place, Oliver.” His mentor, Ewen, must have picked up on his anxiety. As he bade farewell to the staff member who had escorted him to the dimly lit cellar, an image of the same room flashed briefly into his mind. One of Ewen’s memories. “I’m relieved to see no substantial change. You really should have made a point to keep track of this place.”

“You know that isn’t what’s bothering me,” Oliver replied, ignoring the thinly veiled criticism. “Something’s happened. This plan was tenuous at best but—”

“Panicking isn’t going to help.” Ewen’s thoughts were a calm contrast to Oliver’s racing heart. “Your job is to advise. We must now hope that the safety nets we put in place work as they are supposed to.”

“I should be there with him.” Oliver knew he had broadcast the thought, but it was really only for himself. He should have insisted on finding a way into the palace with Matthew, and the disapprovingly loud silence from his mentor showed he agreed. “Where does the passage come out?”

The reply came as swift as his thoughts in the form of another projected image from Ewen: a glowing, open door on the far side of the cellar, between two racks of barrels. The image was fuzzy and Oliver noticed that, in the present-day version of the room, the racks were no longer there.

“Not one of yours?” 

He felt Ewen’s confirmation more than heard it. “A predecessor’s memory of this place.”

With a deep breath, Oliver flexed the stiffness from his fingers. Ewen was right; all he could do now was hope. It was too risky to contact Matthew via the burner phone. The only information he had about what was going on inside the palace had been the simple text: Plan B. He settled himself down onto a sturdy looking wooden crate and waited.

After almost an hour, movement from the wall opposite drew Oliver’s attention. A tweak to an illusion spell had done enough to dim the electric lights in the room, ensuring he would avoid unwanted attention from upstairs. The darkness might give him an edge if he needed to fight, too. With a faint grinding of stone on stone, a rectangular door eased open, letting in a light that caused Oliver to squint. 

The entrance to the passageway was just as it had looked in the memory from Ewen. At any other time, Oliver would have relished the opportunity to observe it. Now, though, he barely gave it a cursory examination as he hurried towards the figures in the doorway.

“Hello?” Oliver found his own voice unnaturally loud after the silence. Alex was there, and Eira too, illuminated in the glowing light of the passageway. They both looked exhausted. He peered into the tunnel, breath catching in his throat as he noticed Matthew’s absence. “Where’s your dad?”

Alex didn’t reply. He was scanning the room and blinking, eyes unadjusted to the darkness of the wine cellar. 

“It’s okay, it’s just me. You’re safe.” Oliver stepped into the light. Recognition dawned, and Alex rushed into his arms.

“I didn’t want to leave, but we had to!” Alex’s words spilled out. “Tamara— the Head of Magic, she’s gone back, but they need help—”

Oliver pulled back, holding up a hand as his stomach twisted. “The Head of Magic?” Something had gone terribly wrong.

Eira moved to stand alongside Alex, and a movement behind them both stopped Oliver before he could ask any further questions. The door to the passageway swung shut, closing off the magelights from the tunnel and plunging them back into darkness. Alex flung himself towards it with a cry.

“No! We have to go back!” 

Oliver removed the dimming spells he’d set on the electric lights and saw Alex pawing at the wall in a frenzy.

“You can’t open it?”

Oliver stepped forward, running his own hand over the stone. But the gap where the door had been was now flush with the rest of the surface. 

“It makes sense,” came Ewen’s detached drawl in his mind. “Any entrance to the palace, even one only royal blood can open, is a risk to defence. A disgruntled cousin or sibling looking to stage a—”

“That is not helpful right now!” Oliver shut down his mentor’s explanation, just as Eira spoke. 

“Oliver, Matthew is with Morgan.” 

Icy panic flooded his body. He focused on keeping his voice level as he addressed them both. “You need to tell me what happened.”

A secondary wave of emotion from Ewen told him his mentor’s fear matched his own. “Matthew’s powerful enough,” Oliver thought, trying to reassure himself. “If he kills Morgan, then that’s another problem, but we can deal with it.”

“Morgan has killed powerful mages before.” The old Tactician knew far too well the threat that Morgan posed.

“They stopped us going out the main entrance,” Alex began, unaware of the conversation happening in Oliver’s mind. “We went to the throne room instead. That’s where the entrance to the passage was.”

Oliver listened as Alex explained. It was in line with what he had agreed with Matthew, though notably, Alex made no mention of Roy. “We were about to go through, but then Morgan found us. I’m not sure how—”

“He saw you?” Oliver interrupted. If Morgan recognised Matthew, it wouldn’t take much to make the connection. It was worse than anything they had anticipated.

“Yeah...” Alex glanced across to Eira, his expression morphing into one of concern. “Eira?” 

She was slouched against the wall, eyes glazed and unseeing. Without thinking, Oliver caught her as she slid limply towards the ground. 

“Eira!” Oliver heard Alex call again as they both crouched down, but there was no response from the girl cradled in his arms. “Uncle Oliver, what’s going on?” 

“I’m not certain.” Eira was breathing and Oliver could sense her energy, far stronger than he had ever noticed before. Had she fainted, perhaps? There was no sign of physical injury, but he was a competent enough healer should she need it.

“Ewen, ideas?” He shot the thought at his mentor just as Eira began to stir.

“Hey! Are you alright?” Alex leaned over Oliver’s shoulder as Eira pushed herself up. Her eyes were open now, but still held the dazed look they had possessed before she fell.

“Matthew? No, he’s not...” There was confusion in her voice and a growing sense of dread nagged at Oliver’s mind as he watched her. With a moan, Eira sunk forward, covering her ears with her hands. “No. I don’t know. Go away!”

“Eira, what’s wrong?” Alex reached out towards her, but Oliver was frozen in place. 

“He won’t stop talking! He keeps asking about your dad, and Oliver. I don’t understand.”

She looked at Oliver then, wide eyed and afraid, but he had no words of comfort to offer her. Instead, he dragged himself to his feet, slamming a fist against the closed passage hard enough that stinging pain shot down his arm.

“Alex! You have to open it again! I need to get through!” Oliver shouted. Not waiting for a reply, he hit the wall once more, this time with a jolt of magic behind it. It can’t be... He clawed at the stone, pouring his energy into half-formed spells that did nothing to the unyielding surface.

“That won’t work, Oliver.” Sorrow tinged Ewen’s thoughts, but Oliver couldn’t stop. “Exhausting yourself will achieve nothing. Alex needs you.”

“Matthew needs me!”

“He doesn’t anymore.” The blunt reply was a blade through his heart. With an agonised wail, Oliver sunk against the wall, letting the magic he was weaving fade away. At the edge of his awareness, he heard Alex trying to speak to him, but he ignored it.

“I won’t believe it. Perhaps it’s not what we think— It could have happened another way!” 

“The girl is Alex’s Friend. You know an Awakening when you see one.”

Oliver didn’t miss the honorific in the way Ewen said ‘Friend’. Images flashed through his mind, delivered by Ewen - all the memories he held of previous Champions awakening. Oliver simply remembered his own. The dizziness. The momentary blackout before he had returned to consciousness in Matthew’s arms…

Ewen’s warnings screamed through his mind. “You need to get them away from here!”

“I can’t.” Oliver sucked in a shuddering breath.

“Uncle Oliver...” Alex was waiting for a response, fear in his eyes. Beside him, Eira was watching with a new understanding in her expression.

“We need to go,” Oliver said, his voice cracking. “Come on. Dory - your mum is waiting for us.”

She would never forgive him, and he deserved that. He got to his feet and started towards the stairs that led back up to the pub, but neither Alex nor Eira followed.

“What? You’re not going to wait for Dad? Aren’t you supposed to be his Tactician or something? You can’t just leave!” Anger had replaced the fear in Alex’s voice and Oliver stopped, unable to look back. “Talk to me! I know who you are now. Who Dad is. Maybe if someone had thought to tell me before today, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“Alex…” It was Eira who spoke his name so carefully. “Let’s not do this here. We should go.”

“No!” Alex shouted. Oliver turned around to see Alex swat away her touch. “Eira, you were there! Tamara said she was going back for him. They need us!”

“I don’t think...” She trailed off painfully, and Oliver winced as her eyes met his.

She knows.

Oliver interjected before Eira said any more. “If you know who we are — who you are — then you must see that I couldn’t be the one to tell you.” He’d understood Matthew’s hesitation, even as he had advised against it, but it was always his friend’s choice to make. 

“But you can tell me what’s going on now, can’t you?” Alex’s glare did nothing to hide his need for reassurance. 

“I will.” Oliver walked forward and placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Just not here. Please.” The priority was to get Alex and Eira to the safe house where Dorothea was waiting. When they got there... He didn’t know what he was going to do anymore.

Alex ran a hand through his hair. “You promise Dad will know where to find us?” 

Oliver swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.