#Tales of a Housekeeper

[kingtheghast]

There’s two vampires in this drawing and neither are who you think

No-text version:

[dilftwink]

[talesofahousekeeper]

[lixenn]

OCtober 2024 day 7: likes

@unwrathful

Why... why would you want to do that?? 🥺😔

Look at what you've done:

RIP to Rika it was nice knowing you 🫡😭

Rina likes loves Dani very much because he's her adorable baby brother and nobody is allowed to bully him except her.

So.

Yeah, don't make Dan cry unless you want to be hunted down for sport 👍

[not-poignant]

April 2024 - Update Schedule

April chapter update schedule:

(Tier+ = This tier or any higher, as every higher tier accesses all rewards in lower cost tiers)

-

Tuesday 2nd - Constellations 05/08(AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Gary&Efnisien Tier+)

Thursday 4th - Underline the Black 85

Sunday 7th - A Stain that Won't Dissolve 35

Tuesday 9th - Birthday Spotlight: Caleb Crawford

Sunday 14th - Underline the Gold 07/08 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Augus&Gwyn Tier+)

Wednesday 17th - Birthday Spotlight: Ohlo Ohlo Temsen

Thursday 18th - Underline the Black 86

Thursday 18th - Birthday Spotlight: Crielle ferch Fnwy

Sunday 21st - A Stain that Won't Dissolve 36

Sunday 21st - Birthday Spotlight - Janusz Bodanowicz

Tuesday 23rd - The Nascent Diplomat 43/44 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Augus&Gwyn Tier+)

Thursday 25th - Underline the Black 87

Sunday 28th - Underline the Gold 08/09 (AO3 & Patreon + Ream - Augus&Gwyn Tier+)

-

We're switching to Underline the Gold for the next two months and I'm super excited about it! It's time to see how Flitmouse and Anton are holding up, and how the early stages of their relationship is continuing.

The Sunday-to-Sunday break continues. During this time I catch up on writing, editing, comments, and anything else that needs doing.

~

Stories with updates as yet undetermined: Palmarosa (Apologies to my Palmarosa peeps! I have wanted to work on this story so badly, but the new Stardew Valley update has eaten my entire life lol)

Most chapters go up between 6-7pm GMT+8 (or the time that you’re already used to me putting chapters up, lol). For those who are anxious to know when chapters are updating, hopefully this helps! If there’s ever an emergency, or a scheduling issue (like a surprise family dinner) I generally put up stories a day early and not late.

[outofangband]

I’ve gotten a few new followers in the past couple days so I thought I’d make a quick housekeeping post!

Hi!! I post very rambling and sometimes bad things about The Children of Húrin and also about the horrors of Angband, the status and place of former prisoners in first age Beleriand and similar topics. Mostly focusing on Maedhros and Húrin but others too! I really enjoy world building and meta.

I love asks and requests though I am wildly inconsistent with timing and order of them!

I am also on discord as Aerin for mayor*! Please feel free to friend me and talk about Tolkien stuff! Or here!

[only-lonely-stars]

A Quick Heads-Up (Blog Housekeeping)

Hi y'all! It occurred to me recently just how messy my blog has been, regarding fanfic and where you can find it. In fact, my AO3 has also been nearly empty for a very long time! So I've started to fix it.

In the coming days, weeks, and maybe months, I will be working to clean all of this up. If you'd like to follow along, follow the below accounts and/or tags:

MY AO3 (OnlyLonelyStars) MY FFN (OnlyLonelyStars) MY FANFICTION TAG (#OLST fanfic) MY WRITING TAG (#OLST writing) MY LARGEST AU TAG (#ninjago fairy tale au) AND ITS SIDEBLOG: @ninjago-fairy-tale-au CO-OWNER: @dragon-gem MY SIDEBLOG FOR ALL THE CREATIVE STUFF: @only-lonely-works-of-art

Thank you! Apologies for what may seem like spam to come! Hopefully this will all make more sense once it's done.

[scrawlingmouse]

Starslinger Tales by Kras Nebula

Starslinger Tales are a collection of short stories and novellas taking place in a weird west post-apocalyptic setting, hundreds of years after a magical cataclysm destroyed the people who came before. These stories center around the folks who've been surviving since- farmers, mediums, doppelgangers, ghosts. Y'know, regular folk and the dinosaurs they ride, living in the shadows of the ruins the 'Fore Folks left behind.

Each story is written to be self contained, so feel free to start wherever sounds interesting!

Read them here at itch.io

[cirrus-grey]

The final chapter of "Not quite a tale as old as time" is posted!

[kyuohki]

Okay, I am now very invested in this manhwa:

Tired, overworked Huina thinks dungeons and Hunters have nothing to do with her until she's suddenly gifted with a Hunter's abilities. Now she has to navigate her game-like reality with the skills and stats of... a Homemaker?! With this class, Huina becomes the ultimate cook, custodian, and caretaker, which lands her a seemingly harmless job in a Hunter guild. But will this organization help Huina bring the Hunters a revolution of rest or force her into dangers she'd never dreamed of?

It's really, really great! Huina is absolutely adorable (tho I don't know why she's complaining...I would love to get immediate knowledge on how to clean and cook effortlessly, as well as easily upgradeable housework skills and perks...Plus a free, upgradeable, pocket-dimension home where I can have the door pop up anywhere I want? All for the price of just cleaning the basic starter level of the home?? Sign me tf up!)

She has the cutest little mascot Home Administrator:

And a Himbo of a ML (absolute socially awkward, disaster of a man outside of punching monsters and bad guys):

[kingtheghast]

Pov you’re interviewing the dumbest employer/employer/employee trio imaginable

And also introducing Finn!

He saw a shady newspaper ad for a live-in housekeeper service at a mansion in the woods and decided that it was either a good pay or a serial killer ploy and went for it anyway. He cleans the pool and does a great job at genuinely not noticing things- which says a lot because Florian and Lukas suck at keeping anything secret—

[dilftwink]

morning, sunlight

many things have changed over the years, but florian bennett has always had a favorite song.

i wrote a little something for the oc project i've been working on with ghast and daisy. several short scenes of florian and lukas throughout their many years of knowing each other, from present to past.

if you wanna know more about these characters, check out ghast's tag for them on their blog! the story is called 'tales of a housekeeper.'

[talesofahousekeeper]

save me florilukas

[hussyknee]

Y'all ever look at your cat and realize "I'm living with a serial killer"?

[not-poignant]

January 2024 Writing Round-Up

Here's the monthly round-up of everything written and posted in January 2024! How is the first month of this year nearly over already??? But here's the chapters that were released: 

Birthday Spotlight - Dr Gary Konowalous 

Birthday Spotlight - Nathaniel (Nate) Prince 

Underline the Black 76  

Underline the Black 77 

Underline the Blue 09 

Constellations 02 

The Nascent Diplomat 40 

The Nascent Diplomat 41 (Augus+Gwyn Tier+)

Underline the Blue 12 (Augus+Gwyn Tier+)

Constellations 05 (Gary+Efnisien Tier+)

Chapter Commentary - Underline the Black 33 (Mosk+Eran Tier+)

Chapter Commentary - Underline the Black 34 (Mosk+Eran Tier+)

Tradewinds (full e-book) (Gary+Efnisien Tier+)

FANFICTION

A Stain that Won't Dissolve 29 

A Stain that Won't Dissolve 30 

Palmarosa 16 

Palmarosa 17 

*

An extremely quiet month, with only 31,000 words written. That's not bad (my minimum is 25k) but I'm sure y'all know I like to aim higher than that most months!

A reminder that enrolment into the Merch Tier to get the May/June rewards is still valid until mid February!

*

On the writing side, I wrote across multiple stories: Palmarosa, Constellations, The Nascent Diplomat, A Stain that Won't Dissolve, Underline the Black, and Underline the Blue.

*

We adopted a gorgeous puppy called Tobermory but it's been very overwhelming on a PTSD and autism front (we actually decided to rehome at one point, and then decided to stick it out, but it's been rough). And also just on a 'young puppy life' front lol.

In the months ahead I'll be taking a break in the form of not posting one Underline the Black chapter per month to give me one Sunday-to-Sunday stretch of posting no chapters. I will still be active and around! These aren't holidays from writing or interacting with you all, just from the schedule itself. :D 

I also really want to get stuck into editing Game Theory, it feels like a distant dream right now which is more than a little frustrating, just because of time and energy, but please know it's still high up on my list! I'm also going to start designing/planning the next round of merch soon, so stay tuned for that. :D

*

Tradewinds has LAUNCHED!!! This is a Patreon/Ream exclusive, meaning that - at this stage - it can only be read if you join that tier and download it to read. You're welcome to stay in the tier, drop back down to your regular tier, or even just sign up for one month and leave again. Obviously the latter isn't my preference! But I want folks to enjoy themselves and am sensitive to the fact that not everyone can afford regular subscription, or has to be careful how they subscribe <3 

Tradewinds is a completed Fae Tales Verse story with a completely new cast of characters that focuses on merchant fae in the southern hemisphere, and Seelie vs. Unseelie merchant traders.

*

Remember you can reach out to me privately at any time, at my email piafoxhall@gmail.com - if you can't find something, or just want to find out something, let me know. I'll do my best to help :)

I'll see you all in February 2024! We've smashed into a brutal heatwave, with temperatures of 42C, 43C and then 41C coming over the next few days (that's 107F, 109F and 105F for the folks in the USA!) Pray for me, because I am going to have to walk everywhere with a spatula so that I might lever myself off the bitumen (road/asphalt). 

[medievalandfantasymelee]

The Contenders... Continued

The following is a list of contenders entered ticking us over the 200 submissions mark...

Shah Ala ad Daula [Olivier Martinez], The Physician (2013)

Allan-A-Dale [Joe Armstrong], BBC’s Robin Hood (2006-2009)

Amarendra Baahubali [Prabhas], Baahubali Series (2015-2017)

Amleth [Alexander Skarsgård], The Northman (2022)

Ancelyn ap Gwalchmai [Marcus Gilbert], Doctor Who (1989)

Arman [Matevy Lykov], I Am Dragon (2015)

Arthur Pendragon [Oliver Tobias], Arthur of the Britons (1972, 1973)

King Arthur [Graham Chapman], Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

King Arthur [Nigel Terry], Excalibur (1981)

King Arthur [Sean Connery], First Knight (1995)

King Arthur [Charlie Hunnam], King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

Azeem [Morgan Freeman], Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

Balian de Ibelin [Orlando Bloom], Kingdom of Heaven (2005)

Bard the Bowman [Luke Evans], The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014)

Bilbo Baggins [Martin Freeman], The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014)

Bofur [James Nesbitt],The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014)

Boromir, Son of Denethor [Sean Bean], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Sir Bowen [Dennis Quaid], Dragonheart (1996)

Sir Brian de Bois-Guilbert [Sam Neill], Ivanhoe (1982)

Prince Charmont [Hugh Dancy], Ella Enchanted (2004)

“Cinderella’s Prince” [Chris Pine], Into the Woods (2014)

Lord of Darkness [Tim Curry], Legend (1985)

Prince Dastan [Jake Gyllenhaal], Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)

King Edmund the Just [Skandar Keynes, Mark Wells], The Chronicles of Narnia (2005-2010)

Edward, the Black Prince [James Purefoy], A Knight’s Tale (2001) 

Sir Elyan [Adetomiwa Edun], BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012)

Fili [Dean O’Gorman], The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014)

Forge Fitzwilliam [Hugh Grant], Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

Francois Villon [Ronald Colman], If I Were King (1938)

Frodo Baggins [Elijah Wood], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Galessin, Duke of Orkney [Alexis Hénon], Kaamelott (2004-2009)

Gandalf [Ian McKellan], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Geoffrey Chaucer [Paul Bettany], A Knight’s Tale (2001)

Gest [Jakob Þór Einarsson], Hrafninn flýgur (1984)

Gimli, Son of Gloin [John Rhys-Davies], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Prince Graydon Hastur [Tony Revolori], Willow (2022)

Sir Guy of Gisbourne [Robert Addie], Robin of Sherwood (1984)

Sir Gwaine [Eoin Macken], BBC’s Robin Hood (2008-2012)

King Henry II Plantagenet [Peter O’Toole], Becket (1964)

King Henry V Plantagenet [Kenneth Branagh], Henry V (1989)

King Henry V Plantagenet [Tom Hiddleston], The Hollow Crown (2012-2016)

Ivanhoe [Anthony Andrews], Ivanhoe (1982)

Ivar the Boneless [Alex Høgh Andersen], Vikings (2013-2020)

Ser Jaime Lannister [Nikolaj Coster-Waldau], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Prince Jingim [Remy Hii], Marco Polo (2014)

Kai [Michael Gothard], Arthur of the Britons (1972, 1973)

Kili [Aiden Turner], The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014)

al’Lan Mandragoran [Daniel Henney], The Wheel of Time (2022)

Sir Lancelot [Luc Simon], Lancelot du Lac (1974)

Sir Lancelot [Nicholas Clay], Excalibur (1981)

Sir Lancelot [Richard Gere], First Knight (1995)

Le Maître d'Armes (~the fencing master) [Christian Bujeau], Kaamelott (2005-2009)

“Man With Snake” [Barry John Clarke], Edward II (1991)

Merlin [Nicol Williamson], Excalibur (1981)

Merlin [Sam Niell], Merlin (1998)

Meriadoc “Merry” Brandybuck [Dominic Monaghan], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Michael Kohlhaas [Mads Mikkelsen], Age of Uprising: the Legend of Michael Kohlhaas (2013)

Miles Hendon, The Prince and the Pauper (1937)

Murtagh Morzansson [Garrett Hedlund], Eragon (2002)

Nicodemus Ravens [Jakob Oftebro], Skammerens Datter (2015)

“One-Eye” [Mads Mikkelsen], Valhalla Rising (2009)

Othello [Laurence Fishburne], Othello (1995)

High King Peter the Magnificent [William Moseley, Noah Huntley], The Chronicles of Narnia (2005-2010)

Philip II [Timothy Dalton], The Lion in Winter (1968)

Richard II Plantagenet [Ben Whishaw], The Hollow Crown (2012-2016)

Rilk [Jesse Lee Keeter] JourneyQuest (2010)

Robert of Artois [Jean Piat], The Accursed Kings (1972)

Robert of Huntingdon [Jason Connery], Robin of Sherwood (1984)

Robin Hood [Kevin Costner], Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

Robin Hood [Jonas Armstrong], BBC’s Robin Hood (2006-2009)

Robin Longstride [Russell Crowe], Robin Hood (2010)

Saburo Naotora Ichimonji [Ryu Daisuke], Ran (1985)

Saruman [Christopher Lee], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

“The Sherriff of Nottingham” [Alan Rickman], Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves (1991)

Simon Aumar [Justice Smith], Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

“Taunting French Guard” [John Cleese], Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Theoden, Son of Thengel [Bernard Hill], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Thierry of Janville [Jean-Claude Drouot], Thierry la Fronde (1963-1966)

Sir Thomas Cromwell [Mark Rylance], Wolf Hall (2015-2024)

Sir Thomas Gray [Nigel Terry], Covington Cross (1992)

Thranduil, The Elvenking [Lee Pace], The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014)

Thraxus Boorman [Amar Chadha-Patel], Willow (2022)

Tormund Giantsbane [Kristofer Hivju], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Trumpkin [Peter Dinklage], The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

Tyrion Lannister [Peter Dinklage], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

“Unnamed Elf Escort” (Alias: "Figwit") [Bret McKenzie], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003

Uther Pendragon [Gabriel Byrne], Excalibur (1981)

Wat [Alan Tudyk], A Knight’s Tale (2001)

Wen Kexing [Gong Jun], Word of Honor (2021)

Wil Ohmsford [Austin Butler], Shannara Chronicles (2016)

William Wallace [Mel Gibson], Braveheart (1995)

Willow Ufgood [Warwick Davis), Willow (1988, 2022)

Wolf [Seth Cohen], The 10th Kingdom (2000)

Xenk Yendar [Regé-Jean Page], Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

Two days in, and we have had 100+ submissions for the Hot Medieval and Fantasy Men tournament!!

Submissions are open until June 27th, so if you have a hot medieval/medieval fantasy guy (or multiple of them) you'd like to see compete, send them in!

Here is a list of our Noble and Worthy Contenders so far.

If your man isn't here, that means he has not been submitted.

The Contenders

So Far…

Adhemar, Count of Anjou [Rufus Sewell], A Knight's Tale (2001)

Prince Aemond Targaryen [Ewan Mitchell], House of the Dragon (2022-)

Alessandro Farnese [Diarmuid Noyes], Borgia: Faith and Fear (2011-2014)

King Alfred the Great [David Dawson], The Last Kingdom (2015-2022)

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan [Antonio Banderas], The 13th Warrior (1999)

Antonius Block [Max von Sydow], The Seventh Seal (1957)

Aragorn, Son of Arathorn [Viggo Mortensen], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

King Arthur Pendragon [Alexandre Astier], Kaamelott (2004-2009)

King Arthur Pendragon [Bradley James], BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012)

Athelstan [George Blagden], Vikings (2013-2020)

Ash Williams [Bruce Campbell], Army of Darkness (1992)

Brian de Bois-Guilbert [Ciaran Hinds], Ivanhoe (1997)

 Brother Cadfael [Derek Jacobi], Cadfael (1994-1998)

Carlos I [Álvaro Cervantes], Carlos Rey Emperador (2015-2016)

Prince Caspian [Ben Barnes], The Chronicles of Narnia (2010)

Cesare Borgia [Mark Ryder], Borgia: Faith and Fear (2011-2014)

Cesare Borgia [Francois Arnaud], The Borgias (2011-2013)

Prince Chauncley [Daniel Radcliffe], Miracle Workers: The Dark Ages (2020)

Prince Daemon Targaryen [Matt Smith], House of the Dragon (2022-)

Khal Drogo [Jason Momoa], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Lord Eddard Stark [Sean Bean], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Edgin [Chris Pine], Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves (2023)

Éomer, Son of Éomund [Karl Urban], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Étienne de Navarre [Rutger Hauer], Ladyhawke (1985)

Faramir, Son of Denethor [David Wenham], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Finan [Mark Rowley], The Last Kingdom (2015-2022)

Sir Galahad [Michael Palin], Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Galavant [Joshua Sasse], Galavant (2015-2016)

Gawain [Dev Patel], The Green Knight (2021)

Geralt z Rivii [Michał Żebrowski], The Witcher (2002)

Geralt of Rivia [Henry Cavill], The Witcher (2019-)

Sir Guy of Gisborne [Basil Rathbone], The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

Sir Guy of Gisborne [Richard Armitage], BBC’s Robin Hood (2006-2009)

Prince Hamlet [Laurence Olivier], Hamlet (1948)

Hubert Hawkins [Danny Kaye], The Court Jester (1955)

King Henry II Plantagenet [Peter O’Toole], The Lion in Winter (1968)

King Henry V Plantagenet [Tom Hiddleston], The Hollow Crown (2012-2016)

Prince Henry [Dougray Scott], Ever After (1998)

Hugh Beringar [Sean Pertwee], Cadfael (1994-1998)

Inigo Montoya [Mandy Patinkin], The Princess Bride (1987)

Jareth [David Bowie], the Goblin King, Labyrinth (1986)

Jaskier [Joey Batey], The Witcher (2019-)

Prince John Plantagenet [Claude Rains], The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

Lancelot [Santiago Cabrera], BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012)

Legolas Greenleaf [Orlando Bloom], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Madmartigan [Val Kilmer], Willow (1988)

King Mark of Cornwall [Rufus Sewell], Tristan and Isolde (2006)

Mikoláš Kozlík [František Velecký], Marketa Lazarová (1967)

Merlin [Colin Morgan], BBC’s Merlin (2008-2012)

Niccolo Machiavelli [Thibaut Evrard], Borgia: Faith and Fear (2011-2014)

Prince Oberyn Martell [Pedro Pascal], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Peregrin “Pippin” Took [Billy Boyd], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Pero Tovar [Pedro Pascal], The Great Wall (2016)

Ragnar Lothbrook [Travis Fimmel], Vikings (2013-2020)

Ravenhurst [Basil Rathbone], The Court Jester (1955)

Richard Cypher [Craig Horner], Legend of the Seeker (2008-2010)

King Richard [Timothy Omundson], Galavant (2015-2016)

Richard III Plantagenet [Aneurin Barnard], The White Queen (2013)

Robin Hood [Errol Flynn], The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

Robin Hood [Michael Praed], Robin of Sherwood (1984)

Robin Hood [Cary Elwes], Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Robin Hood [Tom Riley], Doctor Who: “The Robot of Sherwood” (2014)

Rodrigo Borgia [Jeremy Irons], The Borgias (2011-2013)

Rollo [Clive Standen], Vikings (2013-2020)

Samwise Gamgee [Sean Astin], The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

Sandor Clegane [Rory McCann], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Sid [Luke Youngblood], Galavant (2015-2016)

Sihtric Kjartansson [Arnas Fedaravicius], The Last Kingdom (2015-2022)

Thorin Oakenshield [Richard Armitage], The Hobbit Trilogy (2012-2014)

Tom Builder [Rufus Sewell], The Pillars of the Earth (2010)

Mr. Tumnus [James McAvoy], The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

Vlad III Dracula [Luke Evans], Dracula Untold (2014)

Westley [Cary Elwes], The Princess Bride (1987)

William Thatcher [Heath Ledger], A Knight’s Tale (2001)

Will Scarlet O’Hara [Matthew Porretta], Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Will Scarlett [Patrick Knowles], The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)

Will Scarlett [Christian Slater], Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)