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redtutel · 5 years ago

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Rewatching Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Although I have vague memories of the Episode III promotional material, this is the Star Wars movie where I truly was a part of the hype. December 2015 was a magical time where everyone was just...loved Star Wars. And it created a meme and parody culture that was just as wholesome as the original trilogies. None of that cynical and nitpicky, or in extreme cases sexist and racist, Star Wars fan culture we’re dealing with today.

So much like the first Avengers movie, the magic surrounding its release will make it impossible for me to judge this movie fairy. But I don’t care. I’m still very attached to it. Will this be the viewing where the magic wares off? Or will I find myself considering this better then the film it pays homage to. I’m excited to find out.

Seeing a brand new “A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far, Away” and an opening crawl in theaters was just awesome.

“Will not rest until, Skywalker, The Last Jedi, has been destroyed,” Hey, Foreshadowing! I know there’s a ton of debate as to what was or wasn’t planned in advance for this trilogy, but still.

The First Order is Space ISIS/Neo-Nazis, and Leia leads an army to fight it. Pretty simple. I don’t get why people get so up in arms about how little the politics are explored in this movie. It’s probably a side effect of just how lore heavy Star Wars got after the original trilogy.

The opening shot of a space ship completely covering a moon. A new take on ironic Star Wars imagers. A pretty good summary of this movie. But I feel like such new takes make up for just how many recycled plot points this movie has.

The opening action sequence is the first time in years Storm Troopers have been intimidating (Clone Troopers and Stormtroopers are two different things). It’s pretty impressive. It’s a great way to establish how evil the First Order is.

Finn’s introduction is so impressive. A Stormtrooper who in his first fight, completely looses the will to participate in war. We may never know about his friend he saw die, but despite that, we still understand why he lost his will to fight. It might be a bit awkward for Finn and Poe’s friendship if they ever find out Poe shot Finn’s old Stormtrooper friend.

Kylo Ren stopping a laser with the Force. An awesome new way to use the Force. And I love Poe’s quip “So who talks first?” It establishes Poe as a fun, jokey character, which is why I don’t get why people got upset about his sense of humor in Last Jedi. He’s the sort of character that uses humor to relieve the tension of any situation he’s in.

J.J Abrams made this movie to be watched blind, and I really wish I could (but I saw spoilers before I watched it). Where is Luke? Who is this new Sith? What’s the backstory the old man hits at? There’s a good Stormtrooper? He talks off his helmet? Who’s this girl in the desert? I’d love to discover these things for the first time all over again.

I’m found of robot characters that go against their programming. Finn’s not a robot, but the beginning of his character arc has that concept. He does not believe in this cause, and he fights war terrifying. And he wants to escape.

Anakin was a slave, Luke was a farmboy, and now we have Rey, a scavenger, all alone in the world, just tying to service. She quickly establishes herself as incredibly tough, but also a bit cute.

Of all the protagonists Rey’s backstory is the saddest in my eyes. While Luke had a happy but boring life with his aunt and uncle, and Anakin had a hard life but a living mother, Rey has had to fend for herself since she was a child, holding onto hope that one day her parents will come. She was all alone in the world. But now that’s going to change.

I don’t take any sides in the CGI/Puppets debate, but seeing puppets in a big Hollywood blockbuster again is pretty nice.

BB-8′s so cute. I have too much R2-D2 nostalgia to consider him my favorite Skywalker Saga droid though.

Rey’s relationship with BB-8 establishes that although she’s a survivor, she hasn’t let it harden her heart. She’s willing to help BB-8, and although she wants him to be on his way, she still won’t sell him off (despite being tempted to)

...Poe’s technically the Leia archetype in this movie. This tough rebel who got captured by the villains, and who sent a droid with something important.

The Finn and Poe escape scene has a lot of great dialogue. I’d argue some of the best banter in the series. It’s a pretty good action scene too.

Of all the characters, I like how Finn’s take on his archetype the most. He’s the Han Solo, the deuteragonist who wants nothing to do with the battle, and joins for selfish reasons, but in the end proves to be a loyal friend and hero. But unlike cool and collated Solo, Finn is nervous and cowardly. But that makes his eventual bravery and loyalty all the more satisfying.

I don’t know if this is true, but I’ve heard Poe was originally going to die, but Oscar Isaac was so great they kept the character alive. I do believe keeping them separated is for the best, seeing how it makes sure Finn stays around for as long has he does.

Early on we establish that Kylo Ren is abnormally obsessed with Luke Skywalker, to the point where Gnearl Hux questions him.

Finn and Rey’s friendship stars off pretty rocky, but even then they have some good chemistry. At one point Finn’s all beat up, and he asked Rey if she’s okay. He may not be very good at it, but he’s trying to be a gentleman.

I love how the Millennium Falcon gets called garbage. It’s a funny bit of irony, concerning just how sacred everything else from classic Star Wars gets treated.

The first Millennium Falcon chase is another great action sequence. Rey and Finn are figuring things out as they go along, and BB-8′s being cute. And in the end they’re very impressed with each other. Characters becoming friends tough action sequences is a favorite troupe of mine.

Everything from Finn and Poe’s escape to meeting Maz Katana has nothing to do with a New Hope, and thus is a very underrated part of the movie. Although the tentacle monster scene is kind of forgettable.

Both Finn and Rey have no last name. They’ve never had any sort of family before. Heck, Finn didn’t even have a real name until just a few hours ago. They’re nobodies trying to find themselves, which sets of their arc that carries over into the next film

Kylo Ren destroying the console establishes him as short tempered for the first time. He drops his stoic facade and shows his true colors. Kylo looks indimiateing, but deep down he’s an insecure manchild trying his best to inhert a dark legacy. I’m found of this character, as well as similar characters like Berkut and Shiguraki

Did BB-8 give a thumbs up or a bird? The world will never know.

Rey keeps her guard up around people she doesn’t know to well, but she has a very soft and kind side as well. She’s pretty aggrieve to Finn early on, which is probably why....certain people, dislike her. Women and aggression tends to lead to backlash, after all.

I love how Finn slips in a bit of Stormtrooper knowledge. It comes in handy a few times in this movie. Some could say it should come up a bit more, but I think it’s used enough.

“Chewie, We’re Home” What an iconic line. I can still hear the applause.

Seeing Han become the Obi Wan archetype is a very unique direction for the character to take. And he handles the role very well. Harrison Ford may have been sick of this character, but he still brought his A-game. I love that Rey admires Han more for his smuggling than for his war heroics. And it’s very sweet seeing Han admiring just how much Rey knows about piloting. It’s a very sweet father/daughter relationship. In hindsight, Rey and Han don’t even need to be related for this relationship to be this good. Rey lost her parents and Han lost his son, and they can’t help but see each other as a means to fill those voids, even if they deny it to themselves.

The events of the original trilogy are legendary to these characters, which make the “It’s True, All of it” line so cool. It’s pretty interesting how chronologically, the events of one trilogy are legends to the characters of the next one.

Seeing Han be exactly how people remember his is pretty cleverly deconstructed. In-Univse it happened because he needed to escape from the pain of what happened to his son. And now he’s at the point where there’s nobody left to swindle.

Whenever Rey’s in trouble, she’s always the one to get herself out of it. This is definitely meant as pushback to the fact that in so many things, women always need help while men can aways get out of a situation by themselves. And I’m all for it. It’s great to see a woman be this strong, but she’s not flawless. After all, she shuts people out and is struggling to accept the fact her parents are never coming back.

Snoke even says “Last Jedi.” Even in this movie, Snoke is convinced that Luke is the hero of this story, and will stop and nothing to stop him. It is interesting that they introduced the Emperor archetype in this first movie, although maybe it was a sign that he wasn’t actually the big bad of this trilogy.

“It the hands of your father: Han Solo.” And the audience gasped (unless they got spoiled first. It’s one of those things we can never un-know). Although if I have to nitpick, I’d be nice if we found out alongside Finn and Rey.

I love that the space chess still looks like stop motion.

Rey doesn’t see herself as the hero. Just the delivery girl. Even Luke saw himself as trying to save a damsel in distress. But though this journy, she becomes a hero.

"Luke felt responsible. He just, walked away from everything.” This was established in this movie? Why did it take until Last Jedi for people to react to that plot point?

“I didn’t know there was this much green in the whole galaxy” I love that line. It’s so endearing!

Finn reminds me of Usopp. A liar and a coward, but someone who will always do the right thin in the end. He’s my personal favorite sequel character

“Women always find out.” Han has a ton of great lines in this movie.

“I’ve already been away too long” She’s so convinced her parents will come back she won’t even leave her planet for a few hours.

With Maz Katana, we’re back in a New Hope. I’m found of this character. It’s fascinating to see someone who’s Force Sensitive but not a Jedi. And she offers some great advice to Rey and Finn. I’d love to see her in the next season of Clone Wars.

Kylo Ren sees Darth Vader as the hero, the dark as good, and the light as bad. But he has regrets, and lakes the discipline and fidelity of Darth Vader. Of all the characters, he’s the one most desperate to fulfill his archetype.

“Though the ages I have seen evil take on many forms. The Sith, the Empire, today it’s the First Order.” “If you live long enough, you see the same eyes in many different people.” Of the the sequel’s trilogy’s biggest themes is that history repeats itself. But despite that, it’s still important to fight evil whenever it arises, instead of just sitting back and letting it happen.

It never occurred to me before, but Finn’s cowardliness might be the lingering effects of his brainwashing. Although he does not believe in the First Order’s Ways, he was still convinced all his life that they’re unstoppable, which is why he wants to run instead of fight. I also like how he’s admits the truth, instead of there being this “liar revealed” thing.

Finn and Rey have truly become friends at this point. Instead of just running away, now Finn wants Rey to come with him. As far as he knows, she’s the only friend he has, and he doesn’t want anything to happen to her. Meanwhile, Rey doesn’t want Finn to leave, because he’s one of the few people in her life to stick with her for this long. If he leaves, he might end of like her parents, who never came back.

Wait...how come nobody was demanding to know Finn’s parents. He was taken from a family he’ll never know after all. How come people accept that Finn’s parents don’t matter, but insist that Rey’s does?

Seeing Rey connect to the force for the first time (outside of the piloting and scavenging skills I assume she she used them for subcoinsously before the events of this movie) is really impressive. We get flashes of her past, as well as Luke’s past and Kylo’s past, and even hear the voices of Yoda and Obi Wan. ok She’s getting her first glimpse at the Force that binds everything together, and she’s terrified of it. It’s also yet another divination from the New Hope plot, which is very welcome.

I forgot that Rey being Force sensitive was once a spoiler. How time flys.

I really hope Obi-Wan appears in Rise of Skywalker. He spoke to Rey when she connected to the Force for the first time, and I’d love to see that expanded upon.

“They’re never coming back.” A lesson Rey, and the audience, finds difficulty accepting.

“The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is ahead.” Such a great line. It’s a great summery of Rey’s arc, and I imagine people with difficult pasts can relate to it.

Maz tells Rey and Finn exactly what they need. Rey need to learn to move forward, and Finn needs to learn to fight for what’s right.

Why does the lightsaber choose Rey? I guess her midichlorian count is just right or something. It doesn’t really matter, and I personally find the idea that the next hero can come from anywhere inspiring.

...Come to think of it, Luke’s the only protagonist who isn’t just some rando.

“Why is Maz so interested in Rey” Probably because of her strong connection to the Force.

Rey rejects the saber. Classic rejection of the call. Can you blame her, after that vision?

The First Order sees the Republic as weak and dishonest. Seems straightforward to me. Maybe people were underwhelmed because Neo-Nazism didn’t get as much attention as it did just a few months later.

Starkiller Base. It’s cool looking power-creep. On one hand, since we don’t know anyone from those planets, it’s not as impactful as what happened to Alderan. But then again, we actually see people on that planet die. So It’s a bit of a mixed bag overall.

Finn’s not going to leave until he knows Rey is safe. How touching.

TR-8R. I miss that meme.

Seeing Poe’s triumphant return is pretty great.

Seing Rey’s trying to fight off Kylo Ren with a gun is very tense. This the the first time she looses a fight in this movie. Seeing someone so strong get captured really raises the stakes. This is where they first meet. Their relationship is standard Hero vs Villain in this movie, but things are going to change a LOT in the next one.

Despite how scared he is, Finn still rushes in to try and stop Rey from being capture.

Seeing General Leia for the first time is awesome. Han and Leia’s reuinon is so touching as well. C-3PO’s back to disturbing Han and Leia moments as well, which is pretty funny.

Seeing BB-8 and Finn get reunited with Poe is also very touching.

Finn is helping the Resistance for the sake of Rey. He’s not quite a hero yet, but he’s getting there.

So the movie did established R2-D2 had the map in his back-up data in the actual movie.

Han and Leia went back to what they know best after the loss of their son. It’s such a tragic moment.

Kylo almost has the depth in one movie that took Vader two or three movies to get. I feel like that should be discussed more often.

Kylo’s face is removed to reveal...a normal person. Ben didn’t get any external injuries to turn him into Kylo Ren. It was all manipulation

Rey takes on the Leia role when capture, and Finn briefly takes on the Luke role, But when she frees herself they go back to being Luke and Han, respectively.

Even in this movie, Rey and Kylo are using the force to get to know each other, although mainly on accident. Maybe that’s where Snoke got the idea in the next movie.

After seeing Kylo using the Force, Rey decides to use it in order to escape, although she’s a bit hesitant to do so. It takes her three tires to do the Jedi mind trick, after all. I do wonder where she heard about it. Maybe she figured that if you can read minds, you can change minds.

Rey is a very fast learner in any situation, be it piloting, shooting or using the force. Maybe it’s her midichlorian count.

Starkill base makes very little logical sense, but its still a very cool concept, and seeing day turn into night serving as a ticking clock is a very cool visual.

“No matter how much we fought, I always hated watching you leave” “That’s why I did it, so you’d miss me.” All these years later, and that still have such great chemistry.

“That’s not how the Force works.” I love that line, but people misuse it.

Finn is doing something very heroic, putting himself on the frontlines and disabling the shield. But he’s only doing this for Rey. Despite that, he stays true to his word and disables the shields. I love seeing him stick it to his old boss. It’s a fun moment.

The Rouge One “Womp” is even in this movie! How did I never notice it until after Rouge One?

“As Long as there’s light, we’ve got a chance” A classic symbol, but one that still works.

Seeing Rey and Finn reunited is just another very touching moment. “We came back for you.” For the first time in Rey’s life, somebody actually came back for her. I love how Rey describes how using the force to escape was “Something I can’t explain, you wouldn’t believe it.” In general I love how the Force is depicted in this movie.

“We’ll meet back here” No! That was their last moment together!

Ben and Han’s confrontation is another utterly fantastic moment. Ben is tempted to go back to his father, but he’s too devoted to Snoke’s teachings. On top of that, he feels like it’s too late to go this far. He figures that to get rid of these regrets, he has to kill Han Solo. I love how the sky gets dark, leaving red as the only light source. It really makes Ben’s lightsaber stick out when he kills Han. And yet, Han still touchings the check of his son, showing that even despite this, he still loves him. Instead of letting the past die by killing his father, Kylo is left more conflicted than ever.

Meanwhile, Rey lost a chance to have a father yet again.

The snowy forest at night is such a great setting, and leads to an awesome lightsaber fight. Rey gets knocked out, so Finn has to protect her with a lightsaber duel. Kylo is beating himself, increasing his pain to increase his dark power. Finn puts up a valiant effort, but in the end, he gets knocked out, and Rey has to save him. But still, he bought her time, and gave her the strength to use the force to stop Kylo. Seeing Rey grab the lightsaber for the first time using the Force is just awesome. She’s barely holding her own, but true to the character, she’s a fast learning. Meanwhile Kylo is still injured, and maybe a bit worn out from fighting Finn. At the cliffside, Rey is at the ends of her seat, but when she trusts in the force, she manages to beat Kylo after he overpowered her during the rest of the movie.

Finn ends with the movie more devoted to Rey than the Resistance, but he still proves himself to be a loyal friend and a hero. I was worried about him for the two years between Force Awakens and Last Jedi

There’s no words between Leia and Rey. They both just know, Han is dead, and they both loved him. And that’s enough for them to mourn him together.

But in the midts of dealing with the loss of Han, there’s is hope. Specifically, the New Hope.

Seeing Luke for the first time in this movie is such a fantastic cliffhanger.

Overall, I still love this movie as much as when I first saw it. It’s got great action and effects, the new characters are some of my favorites in the series, and the old characters give some of their best performances of all time. Sure it messed with a happy ending, but I’m still investing in seeing how characters old and new are going to try and get that happy ending back.

#star wars #star wars rewatch

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wherethewindtakesher · 5 years ago

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actually all qs cuz I wanna get to know u :) boink!

OF COURSE BOINK ANON!

I will be excluding the ones Ive done (:

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Wine glasses/water bottles c:

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum! im not really a big fan of cotton candy tbh.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? for some reason, soda from plastic cups hit different 😞

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones in the winter, earbuds in the summer.

9. favorite smell in the summer? the smell of my oncoming de- the smell of flowers blooming.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? it depends, some mornings I skip breakfast all together, others i’ll have a light snack, or I just have some cereal or make an egg.

12. name of your favorite playlist? ‘Recently added’

13. lanyard or key ring? landyard so I can find my keys easily. I still lose it tho-

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? spicy or sour candies are dope a f.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? The first book I read that I actually enjoyed was twilight.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? with my legs w I d e open because I cant sit properly.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? my tan/floral converses.

18. ideal weather? cloudy, cold, and raining 😌.

19. sleeping position? on my stomach, leg raised to my abdomen while the other is in the open air, and hands underneath my pillow. the BEST.

21. obsession from childhood? picking my scabs-

22. role model? my mom and sisters.

24. favorite crystal? garnet. It’s also my birthstone! I have it as a gem for my class ring.

25. first song you remember hearing? “bidi bidi mom mom” by selena quintanilla.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? if it’s not scorching hot, go on walks.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? snuggle up in a blanket and watch movies.

28. five songs to describe you? ‘humble’ kendrick lamar, ‘cry baby’ melanie martinez, ‘stupid’ ashnikko, ‘paparazzi’ lady gaga, ‘or nah’ ty dollar $ign.

29. best way to bond with you? send me M E M E S-

30. places that you find sacred? my bed.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ripped jeans, boots, a crop top, and a jacket.

33. most used phrase in your phone? fuck.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? that empire carpet wash commercial.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? DAT BOI.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? duffel bag.

38. lemonade or tea? how about both of them combined 😉.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I hate pie 🙊

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? someone brought a gun and it fell out of their backpack during 2nd period.

41. last person you texted? @caws5749

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets. BUT THE DEEP ONES NOT THOSE SMALL FUCKING ONES.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodies or a bomber jacket.

44. favorite scent for soap? Lavender.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? superhero!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? naked-

47. favorite type of cheese? queso fresco.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? mango.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “im a bad bitch you cant kill me”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? anytime my friends and I joke around.

51. current stresses? school, personal issues, and my NEW JOB THATS RIGHT YALL YO GIRL EMPLOYED.

52. favorite font? calibri.

53. what is the current state of your hands? kinda rough but smooth.

54. what did you learn from your first job? that people fucking suck.

55. favorite fairy tale? little red riding hood.

56. favorite tradition? eating tamales during christmas time.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? that im not perfect, my flaws are just as beautiful as my perfections, and that im just ug-

58. four talents you’re proud of having? im not talented aT ALL. uh...

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? ‘let’s fuck ‘em up’

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? sasuke from naruto or mey-rin from kuroshitsuji.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? “see you in a minute”

62. seven characters you relate to? natasha, cristina yang, dexter, ford, thor, scott lang, and tony.

63. five songs that would play in your club? ‘bodak yellow’, ‘man of the year’, ‘rockstar’, ‘bickenhead’, ‘slumber party’.

64. favorite website from your childhood? I forgot the name but it was that educational site with the orange robot and human.

65. any permanent scars? my entire body is riddled in scars no joke.

66. favorite flower(s)? hibiscus and roses.

67. good luck charms? my dog’s name tag.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? onions-

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? that cracking your joints won't give you arthritis.

70. left or right handed? im mixed handed but I do the majority of stuff with my right.

71. least favorite pattern? plaid.

72. worst subject? MATH FJSKSJKFSJS I HATE IT.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? have yall tried chocolate milk with chicken nuggets-

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 8-9 because I tend to fight back and not admit there is something wrong going on 😬.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? 2nd grade I believe.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? for some reason my love of tater tots has come back.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? uh cacti?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from a gas station cus im not trying to die-

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? oh man, I look like shit in both of them. School id.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? ive never seen either 😔.

82. pc or console? i’ve own consoles for most of my life.

83. writing or drawing? writing. I cant draw very well.

84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts! I listen to ‘last podcast on the left’.

84. barbie or polly pocket? barbies! did anyone make their barbies have sex or was it just me-?

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology. yall don't know this but I have fallen into the greek mythology rabbit hole-

86. cookies or cupcakes? I fuck heavy with cupcakes TILL THIS DAY.

87. your greatest fear? to see those I love die.

88. your greatest wish? to be happy.

89. who would you put before everyone else? myself.

90. luckiest mistake? guessing on a question and getting it right 😎.

91. boxes or bags? i’ll go with boxes. it makes everything easier to stack and organize.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights are so pretty.

93. nicknames? clown by @caws5749, bottom by @domromanoff, and variations of my real name.

94. favorite season? fall/winter TIMEEEEE.

95. favorite app on your phone? mario kart. if anyone wants to be friends give me your friend code-

96. desktop background? it’s black with a colorful smoke cloud exploding.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? mine and my oldest sister’s because she has had that same number since I was in the WOMB.

98. favorite historical era? I would say the WWII era since ive studied more about it than any other era.

UPDATE; this would've been done last night but my screen decided to just crash and not save anything I had done and my girl sent my ass to bed so I couldn't finish it but here ya go boink!

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sophygurl · 5 years ago

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@c-l-ford gave me 29, 50, and 17 for this ask meme fandom thing. TY!!

29. Top 5 family relationships:

All of the ladies at 300 Fox Way in The Raven Cycle by Maggie Striefvater

Veronica and Keith Mars in Veronica Mars

October Daye and her fetch/sister May Daye, May’s girlfriend Jazz, her fiance Tybalt, her squire Quentin Sollys, his best friend and also informal squire of Toby’s as well as adopted son of Tybalt’s Raj, and Quentin’s boyfriend Dean Lorden - plus a whole mix of other folk loosely and tightly linked to one another for a variety of reasons such as the sea witch, a cyber-dryad, and a bridge troll taxi driver.

Kara Thrace/Adama - father/child unofficial adoptive relationship in Battlestar Galactica.

Sally and Gillian Owens, the sisters in Practical Magic (plus their aunts and Sally’s daughters, but really it’s mostly about Sally and Gillian).

50. Top 5 teen dramas - (this is a big one for me!):

Beverly Hills 90210 - the original, often imitated never duplicated

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Veronica Mars (minus the revival)

One Tree Hill

Plus all of my notable mentions: Black Lightning, Cloak and Dagger, Euphoria, The Fosters, Freaks and Geeks, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl, Legacies, The Lying Game, The O.C., Party of Five, Popular, Pretty Little Liars, Roswell (the original), (but also) Roswell, New Mexico (the reboot), Runaways, Scream, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Smallville, Trinkets, The Vampire Diaries

17. Top 5 “deserved better” characters:

Logan Echolls from the end of the Veronica Mars revival

Clarke Griffin, Raven Reyes, and Octavia Blake on The 100 - they’re a full set, this is not cheating.

Tara Maclay from Buffy

Robin and Barney as a couple from HIMYM - fuck that finale forever for so many reasons, but.

Persephone Poldma from The Raven Cycle. (I miss her)

#question memes #fandom memes #teen dramas #family ships #characters who deserved better

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winetae · 7 years ago

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⇾ dick n’ go (m)

⇁ female reader x seokjin

⇁ smut, crack || shopping for dicc!au

⇁ male objectification, superficiality, fuckgirl!reader, dirty talk, and cocky!jin if that isn’t your thing

⇁12.8k

. . .

After trooping through a series of horrendous first dates and mediocre hookups, you were convinced you would never find a man capable of satisfying your needs. Your friend recommends you try a slightly unconventional method to remedy your bad luck.

↳ alternatively: seokjin has a five star dick and you decide to give it a go

a/n; happiest birthday to my porn watching partner in crime, the one who sends me pics of Seokjin Bulges and occasionally of hairy toes !! i love you (ps; ty to everyone who encouraged me to finally finish this semi autobiographical piece;;)

“ — remarkable churn rate,” he boasted, the corner of his lips twitching into a satisfied smirk. “Of course, I’m aware this might not be of any significance to you, but it’s quite outstanding considering the circumstances.”

The soft glow of the candles cast shadows on his face, accentuating the tall bridge of his nose and the length of his eyelashes. He was classically handsome, with a strong brow and full lips, broad shoulders and a posture that belied his confidence.

At first, it had been easy to fake interest. His good looks had been enough of a distraction, but by the main course, your glass of red wine had become much more riveting than his one-sided conversations that all seemed to revolve around him. It wasn’t that you were turned off by cocky men. In fact, you liked someone who was confident in himself and his abilities. Confidence was generally an attractive trait in a partner, but tonight you couldn’t help but be put off by his behavior. It was becoming increasingly difficult to feign enthusiasm over his endless list of accomplishments, especially when he threw in a condescending remark your way every now and then.

This time you couldn’t even blame the dating agency for a faulty match-up. There had been no fluke of any kind; suited in crisp Tom Ford and polished Italian leather, he was exactly as described on paper—which had been all the more infuriating. Admittedly, when you had first met him tonight, you had swooned a little, not daring to believe your luck. With his slicked back hair and tailored suit, he was a sight for sore eyes.

In hindsight, you should have known better than to get your hopes up, especially if you considered your track record with men.

“Ah… Congrats.” You managed a strained smile while surreptitiously reaching for the bottle of Pinot Noir.

Regret started to pool in your gut. Signing up on a dating website hadn’t been the wisest move, you now realized. Had the wooing process always been this tiring? Maybe you were rusty, having been out of the game for too long. It hadn’t even been that long since your very public break-up with your ex-boyfriend.

A bitter taste lingered on your tongue when you let your mind wander back to the events leading up to the separation. All the missed calls and flimsy excuses should have alerted you, but instead of trying to talk things out, you had ignored the growing rift in your relationship. Now, you could only look back on those times with distaste. Truthfully speaking, there had been good times—great times, even—and maybe if things had ended cleanly then you wouldn’t be so worked up over the split. The break up would have been easier to digest if he hadn’t been such a prick... The worst part was he hadn’t even had the decency to deliver the news in person, as if none it had ever mattered to him like it had to you; no matter how you looked at it, it felt like two years of commitment had gone down the drain...

You gulped down the remnants of your drink, hoping to wash down the resurfacing memory, but not even the fancy wine bottled in 1982 could help you dial back the resentment that boiled beneath your skin. What kind of dickshit ended a relationship by changing their Facebook status to single?! It was a slap to the face that still stung no matter how many Netflix series you binged or pints of ice cream you devoured. Clearly, he had no respect for you... And that realization hurt more than the break-up itself.

After a week of wallowing in self-pity, watching reruns of That 70’s Show and eating pack after pack of spicy Doritos, your friend had managed to pull you out of the obligatory post-breakup moping stage. Realistically, you weren’t ready or interested in jumping head first in any kind of new relationship, but your friend had insisted you needed to get over the asshole you had been committed to for the better part of two years. You didn’t like the term ‘rebound’, but that was essentially what you were looking for by signing up on dating websites.

Meeting new people would be fun, she had promised. Yet here you sat squeezed into a dress one size too small, concealing yet another sigh by stuffing your face with one of the offered breadsticks.

You were well aware you wouldn’t find the love of your life tonight. Your expectations hadn’t been high to begin with but your date was so dreadfully boring, for lack of better words, that you couldn’t help but be disappointed. There was no chemistry between the pair of you; whenever you sought to deviate the conversation to a new topic, he steered it back to his subject of interest. You had quickly realized there was no common ground: you were an art history major with no knowledge in marketing or communication; he planned to have a kid before the age of 35 while you were just looking for some mindless fun... You could blame it on the age gap or the fact he had a stable working job and you were still finishing off your studies, but you were evidently in different places in your lives with different goals and desires.

Restlessness was beginning to creep up your legs and it took a huge amount of self-restraint not to check the time on your phone.

Putting aside your differences, it would have still been nice if your date paid attention to you instead of talking over you at every turn. Still, you tried to stay optimistic despite the lack of chemistry. Maybe he wanted to impress you or perhaps it was all just nervous rambling. You could overlook his desire to monopolize the conversation for now.

Well, if anything, at least you were getting expensive wine and a free meal out of this. You glanced down at your plate and then at his, noticing he hadn’t even gotten halfway through his medium rare steak. Why was he taking so long to eat the steak?! you silently despaired. Maybe if you glared at it for long enough, he would get the hint and cease his meaningless chatter.

“Oh, are you still hungry?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Should I call the waiter back?”

“NO, no!” You raised out your hands, waving them around in panic. But in your hurried attempt to dissuade him, you hadn’t noticed you had attracted the unwanted attention of the people nearby.

“That won’t be necessary,” you repeated quietly, slightly embarrassed by your outburst. You tucked your hair behind your ear self-consciously, trying to calm yourself down. The last thing you wanted was to create a scene.

“You must have quite the appetite to have finished so quickly.” He stared pointedly at the lone arugula leaf you hadn’t been able to pick up with your fork. You felt your cheeks flush at the insinuation, teeth tugging your bottom lip in vexation. Maybe he was just clumsy with his words and didn’t mean anything by it, but something about it didn’t sit well with you. Wanting to give him the benefit the doubt, you plastered on a smile.

“I’m fine,” you forced out, the corner of your lips twitching from the strain. “I’m full now, anyway.”

“Are you sure? You were staring at my dinner quite, er, intently.” He prodded at his meal with the silverware, voice laden with skepticism. Hand slowly curling into a fist, you tried not to look too affronted.

“It’s okay!” he pressed on, misinterpreting your silence. “Don’t be ashamed! I like a girl with an appetite. Models these days are all bones—nothing to grab onto. I find women like you more attractive.”

He made grabby hands to illustrate his point, gaze swooping down to ogle the peak of cleavage on display shamelessly. Your outfit wasn’t even that revealing—a modest black dress with a sweetheart neckline— but the way he leered at you as if you were a slab of meat on a platter made your insides twist with disgust. Rather than making you feel sexy and desirable, the intensity of his appraisal made you feel like you were being coated over in a layer of slime. You bit down your retort, nails digging into the palm of your hand to distract yourself.

“Oh?” you intoned dryly, shoulders hunching up defensively.

“Most definitely,” he nodded, taking no note of your evident discomfort. “I like it when a woman is a bit bottom heavy.”

“Excuse me?” This time you couldn’t hide the sheer incredulity that colored your tone, brows arching.

Your eyes fluttered to a close as you took a steadying breath, not trusting yourself to keep your expression in check. Was he being serious? This had to be some kind of joke... You refused to believe someone could be that dense. Even if he had meant his comment as praise, the way he went about to compliment you didn’t flatter you in the least. Sure, people were allowed to have their preferences but something in the way he spoke and delivered his speech made your skin crawl with mortification.

Either way, you knew you couldn’t sit through this dinner for any longer than you had to. You saw no point in letting the date drag on indefinitely since it was clear that it wasn’t going to be working out.

The five course meal wasn’t exactly cheap but you would pay your share. You’d even take on his portion of the bill if it meant you could go home right away. Sure, it would leave a small dent in your wallet, but you refused to stay and listen to him drone on for another two hours.

“I think I’m feeling sick, actually,” you excused yourself, clutching your stomach in a dramatic fashion, but even to your own ears, it sounded like a feeble pretext. “I’m really sorry for cutting this short, but I need to lie down... I’ll pay for dinner, don’t worry about it.”

“Nonsense,” he cut in right away, looking affronted you would dare to suggest such a thing. “You’re right, the food here isn’t that good anyways.”

“That wasn’t what I—”

“It was a pleasure dining with you tonight.” He wiped his lips with the white chiffon, his voice dropping to a seductive octave so suddenly you could only gape up at him. “Would you be interested in joining me for tea back in my loge?”

You froze, eyes subconsciously darting around, refusing to meet his unexpected suggestive gaze. To be frank, you might have been tempted by his offer for ‘tea’ before his failed attempt to wine and dine you. But after having suffered through two hours of his presence, your only wish was to never meet him again.

“Ah, um,” you floundered, looking for a way out. “I really don’t think I’m feeling too well… But thank you for the offer, Minwoo.”

“Minhyuk.” A muscle in his jaw jumped. “It’s Minhyuk.”

“Mmh? That’s what I said,” you fibbed, averting your eyes and silently cursing yourself for your inattentiveness.

You wanted the ground to swallow you whole as it became apparent that no amount of apologies could salvage the situation. Guilt churned in the pit of your stomach, discomfiture rendering you rigid. Sure, Minhyuk or whatever had been a proper asshole but you still felt bad for forgetting his actual name. It had happened to you once before, back when you had first started dating, and you could still remember the bone-crushing humiliation and awkwardness as he had confused you with some other random girl. Back then, you had sworn never to subject anyone to the same situation, so for it to happen now... You were disappointed in yourself but there was really nothing you could do about it.

Needless to say, your mistake had made things painfully awkward between the two of you. His ego had taken an undeniable hit that no amount of apologies could probably fix. Minhyuk did not even bother to conceal his sigh of relief when you called for a taxi cab to drive you home. In any other situation, you might have been offended at how quickly he tried to get rid of you, but you were equally desperate to escape your date.

You didn’t miss Minhyuk in the slightest but for some reason your mind kept wandering back to your failed date at the most inconvenient times. Like a broken record, the memory of that night kept replaying in your mind on loop. He was like pesky fly you couldn’t shake off—a low buzzing in your ears distracting you from everyday activities.

Why were the men you dealt with such dickheads? You silently cursed your horrible luck with the male species as you spread butter over your toast, crunching into the slice of bread with more force than necessary, teeth clanking together.

You hadn’t expected dating to be so exhausting. Being with your ex for so long, you had fallen into a complacent routine of sorts; it had stopped being exciting, but at least it was comfortable and familiar. You knew each other’s likes and dislikes and would adjust accordingly to each other’s personalities. Restarting the entire getting-to-know you process just seemed way too bothersome to deal with. Maybe Minhyuk or whatever hadn’t been the right guy for you, but in all honesty you didn’t want to enter the dating pool at the moment.

What you needed was someone who was on the same wavelength as you—someone around your age that was only interested in having a good time. After the emotional rollercoaster you had previously been on, the last thing you wanted was to jump into another relationship. You told yourself there was no use rushing it. But just because you were giving up the idea of dating for the time being, didn’t mean having some occasional fun was prohibited.

Being single was a good thing.

Over the next couple of weeks, you kept repeating this phrase, hoping the mantra would convince you of its truth. Weren’t you supposed to be living your glory days right now? What was the point of settling down when you could be having stress-free fun whenever you wanted? Relationships just seemed like way too much work, especially when finding the right guy was a task in itself. Dating websites and blind dates set up by your friends just seemed like such a hassle you didn’t have the time to deal with... But honestly speaking, masturbating wasn’t as fulfilling as getting laid on the regular. That was one particular aspect of your old relationship that you missed. You didn’t need to be in a relationship to be happy and satisfied. But even though you technically didn’t need a functioning cock to get off, who were you to turn down a good fuck?

So the logical thing to do was to take a page out of the fuckboy manual and stock up on a giant box of condoms. It felt nice to flirt around when you knew you didn’t have to commit to anything. Guys were surprisingly easy to rile up and they all seemed desperate to prove their own worth. And although you had your doubts over the validity of their claims, you let yourself be convinced once or twice by their smooth and practiced lines. But every single time, the ending had been either anticlimactic or disastrously bad.

Youjin, a classmate you were friendly with, seemed to take pity on you when you recounted your latest attempt at hooking up. She had invited you over to her place for a round of consolation drinks and you had never been more eager to down a shot of alcohol in your life.

“He had a nervous jizz? Did you even get to see his dick before he creamed his jeans?” She patted your shoulder in sympathy before handing you another shot of tequila.

“Nope. Nothing. Couldn’t even tell you if he had hairy balls or not.” You shrugged, a nonchalant expression settling over your features. “I groped a feel before he, uh... creamed his jeans. Dunno. Kind of felt underwhelmed.”

“Size doesn’t matter.” Youjin reminded you with a nudge. “It’s how he works his machine that counts.”

“Machine?” You stifled a snort behind your hand. “Well, Jungkook’s engine failed him. I touched his dick over the jeans for maybe ten seconds? He didn’t even last long enough for me to take his belt off. I don’t know who was more embarrassed but he kicked me out of his room before I could really say anything.”

“Look on the bright side... Maybe this means you’re that good. You must have magic fucking fingers.” She wiggles her hands in your face, her sparkly manicured nails on display. “What made you think hooking up with someone in the same class as you was a good idea anyway? Isn’t this the basic rule of fucking... No shitting where you eat.”

“I don’t know... Convenience? He was there and it seemed like an easy fuck, you know? I just want a nice lay. And I thought I would have a good time! We’ve been texting for a while and he kept saying he would make it worth my time... You’re right, I shouldn’t have trusted him. He looks like he just grew out of puberty... I shouldn’t have trusted him.”

“Oh yeah, there’s no doubt you need to get dicked down. My doctor said good sex is one of the primary contributors to good health and inner happiness. But things will just get super messy if you keep hooking up with guys you see every day. What if Jungkook ended up your partner for next month’s presentation? Do you know how fucking awkward things get when you’re trying make a powerpoint presentation on rococo furniture with a guy who has had his mouth on your nips? I’ve been there, okay, and not only does it make you question all your life decisions, but it fucks up your grades. So it’s a lose-lose situation you’re better off without.”

Youjin’s solution to your problems was bringing you to the nearest night club. Her reasoning was that any guy you picked up there was also probably looking for a quick one night stand. In her books, club hookups were the easiest way to have a good time without resorting to fucking your classmate.

“Wear a slut skirt!” Out of reflex, you caught the article of clothing that flew your way. It was a short, leather piece that promised to mold to your every curve. “And pin your hair up—it looks really nice like that!”

“Calm down,” you huffed. “We’re just going to the club.”

“So? Who knows, you might find the love of your life tonight!”

“Let’s be realistic, the chance of that is slimmer than winning the lottery... “ You shimmied into the tight skirt, smoothing over any creases, silently admiring the way it made your ass look bigger than it usually did.

“Never say never. Did you know Nicole Richie met her husband in a club?”

“Who?”

“Nevermind, just put on the fucking skirt, okay? Hmm, do you want me to lend you my old push-up bra?”

“I’ll pass, thanks,” you deadpanned, your raised eyebrow twitching. She didn’t have to bring up the fact she had miraculously gotten a cup size bigger than you last summer. You looked down at your breasts with a frown, silently cursing. Why couldn’t the weight you gained go to your boobs?

In the end, you did borrow her padded push-up bra. You would have been a fool to turn down an instant breast lift offer. No one would know the difference anyway, not unless you let them paw at your boobs. And with your luck, an accidental grope on the dancefloor might be the most action you would get tonight.

The club Youjin brought you to was swarmed with college kids that were all looking to dance away the stress of the upcoming exam season. Leaving you to your own devices, she gave you a good luck pat on your shoulder before going off to order a martini at the bar.

It didn’t take long for someone to approach you but you shrugged them off, not interested in hooking up with freshman kids that probably just learned how to roll on a condom. If you were going to hookup with a fuckboy tonight, you wanted him to be the most experienced guy in the club.

You didn’t have to wait too long for someone to match your criteria to bump into you. He exuded a certain a charisma the other guys hadn’t, the dark of the room making his smooth skin look like molten gold.

“Your friend is gorgeous,” he yelled into your ear, one of his hands sliding down to rest on the small of your back. You had to lean forward until you could make out the words he was mouthing over the heavy bass; his breath smelled like whiskey and coke but not unpleasantly so.

From up close, you could see the way he eyed over Youjin dancing up a storm on the other side of the room, pearly white teeth biting his plump lower lip as his eyes lingered on her ass. You could hardly blame him—even you were entranced by the way she flipped her long, glossy hair and the smooth movements of her hips she synchronized in time with the beat of the music.

Youjin was the best dancer you knew. For the longest time she had tried to teach you how to slut drop but after many failed practice sessions in front of your bathroom mirror, she had signed you off as a lost cause. In your defense, you weren’t a terrible dancer... But next to her? You looked like a waddling penguin that was learning how to walk for the first time. Hence why you never had any luck pulling guys if you stuck by her side.

“Can you talk to her for me?”

Tilting your head, you contemplated his request. Neon green spots of light danced over his features, making his jaw look sharper than it probably was. He looked harmless enough, but it was hard to tell for sure...You would never judge someone by their face. Even if he looked like he was incapable of harming a fly, you weren’t duped into believing he had any innocent intentions behind his actions. After all, this was a night club filled to the brim with testosterone—a place for people to find an easy lay—so there was no room to misunderstand his question.

“Why can’t you ask her?” He was a grown ass man after all... You couldn’t understand why he didn’t just ask her himself. Playing the part of the messenger was just so tiresome—this wasn’t prom and you were too old for this kind of silly game.

He turned to look at you properly for the first time, the corners of his mouth already quirked up into a charming smile. Your gaze was instantly drawn to his plush lips, shiny and inviting. You tried to shake yourself out of your trance, eyes snapping back to meet his knowing stare, but he made nonchalance difficult. You had always had a weakness for soft, pouty lips. Certain he was the type of guy that would use that piece of information against you to get what he wanted, you fixed your gaze on a safer place—the shiny spot of skin between his eyebrows.

“Huh, you’re pretty too!” His mouth stretched into a smile, eyes slanting into crescents.

“Thanks,” you replied, dryly. Unfortunately, your sarcasm wasn’t conveyed properly and he seemed to take your words at face value. Thinking you had warmed up to him, he slid closer to you, the hand resting on your lower back pulling you flush against his hard chest.

He leaned in closer still, face crowding near yours, so you felt the warmth of his breath against the sensitive skin of your neck. For one drawn out moment, you thought he was going to lean in and kiss you, but instead he yelled into your ear, “say, if you ask your pretty friend for me, I’ll hook you up with my friend. You’re just his type!”

He pointed over to a guy with a plain white shirt and a black cap on, grinding into a girl’s ass a few steps away from you. You bit off a scoff, not believing what you were hearing. Did he really think you were willing for some kind of trade off? His friend wasn’t ugly in the least, but you still felt a bit offended for thinking you could be passed around.

“I’ll speak to my friend for you. You’re totally his type.”

There was no hiding your disbelief at his audacity. You risked a glace back in his direction to check if he was being completely serious, and you almost laughed out loud when you saw no trace of deception on his face. He must have been really interested in Youjin for him to beg you like this.

He was handsome enough that you were sure he wouldn’t have any trouble attracting other people, but he seemed fixated on your friend. If you hadn’t been slightly intoxicated, you would have told him straight away to deal with it on his own, but the alcohol burning in your veins made it harder to think properly.

“I don’t think he needs any help in that department!” You pointedly eyed his friend, who was still attached by the pelvis to his dancing partner.

“He’ll drop her for you, trust me.” His unwavering confidence made you falter, and he took advantage of your few seconds of shocked silence to call over his friend. You couldn’t believe he would actually leave the girl he was with just to join the both of you.

There was a slight pause as you both sized each other up. The first thing you noticed was that his simple white t-shirt was almost see through, made transparent by his sweat. Despite your better judgement, you found yourself eyeing his defined muscles that were perfectly displayed under the thin layer of fabric. When your eyes met his, he shot you a knowing wink, his abs flexing under the disco reflected light.

He was acting like your typical campus fuckboy. Guys like him were easy to figure out. You had frequented them enough to know they had a one-track mind and were programmed to function according to the eat-sleep-fuck cycle. He was your ideal candidate to take home because you knew he wasn’t looking for anything serious tonight.

“So, do you dance?”

“Not really...” He leaned in closer to hear your answer over the booming bass. He was close enough that you could smell his aftershave, the clean scent a welcomed reprieve from the sweat-infested room.

“It’s okay, I can teach you.” A hand fell to your waist to bring you closer still. Distantly, it registered just how fucking built he was. He looked like the type that had a gold gym membership just so he could walk around campus with sleeveless tops and show off his body to the student population.

Pressing his strong body against yours, he gripped your hips and guided your movements. The first guy long forgotten, you slowly relaxed under his hold, swiveling your hips in time to the beat. It was easy to let your mind drift off, your thoughts consumed by images of your dance partner fucking into you with the same fluidity he was showcasing now. He was a bit shorter than the men you usually went for, but his thick thighs and sensual grinding were winning you over. Besides, he moved his body like Magic Mike and that was something you weren’t about to pass up.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Youjin shoot you a thumbs-up, mouthing words that suspiciously looked like ‘get that dick’ but it was hard to tell for certain. Maybe she was right... One night stands like this were simpler to deal with than attempting to get into bed with your classmate. For one, you wouldn’t have to feel awkward every time you walked into class and made accidental eye-contact.

All you wanted was to get laid properly. Finding a fuck buddy was too much trouble and there was no guarantee that would be a success, either. In most cases you had heard of, one person always ended up catching feelings and that was an additional mess you didn’t have the time to take care of.

“Want to walk me home?” You asked coyly, eyelashes fluttering, your palms sliding up his chest seductively. His eyes darkened, mouth crashing into yours in response.

You didn’t even make it to the exit door, clearly too impatient and horny to wait until you reached a mattress. The entire thing was messy and rushed—teeth clanking against each other, swollen lips bitten red. You felt like a hormonal teenager all over again but you were too caught up in the moment to be embarrassed by your actions.

His large hands gripped your waist, and you had no choice but to follow his movements, shuffling backwards until your back met the dank wall of the bathroom stall.

“I want to see these pretty lips around my cock,” he groaned, hands slipping under the hem of your skirt to grab a handful of your ass. “I love it when girls get their lipstick all over me. S’fucking hot.”

“I’m not going to blow you.” You shook your head, trying to hold your ground despite his insistent kisses up the side of you neck. “No offense, but you look like I might catch something if I let you put your dick in any of my holes.”

If you hadn’t been inebriated you might have phrased it better. Whatever. You didn’t really care about his feelings when it was obvious all he wanted from you was to get his dick wet for a couple of seconds before busting a nut. Making out with him was already a big health hazard, you didn’t want to risk anything more by getting fucked in a smelly bathroom stall.

“Fine.” He shrugged like it was a common occurrence to have girls push him away because they were worried of him carrying diseases. “How ‘bout a handjob?”

You shrugged, not really objecting to the idea. Given the choice, you would have still preferred to give him the handjob with gloves on or something, but you figured you could forego the extra precaution just this once.

It didn’t go as smoothly as you expected to (although no bathroom hookups had ever been plain sailing in your personal experience). Your manicured nails made it hard to maneuver around in the cramped space; this became apparent when you awkwardly fumbled with the zipper of his jeans for a second too long. Huffing with impatience, he swatted your hand away, “here, let me.”

His dick, like the rest of his form, didn’t hurt to look at. Knowing your luck, you had half expected him to whip out a fungus covered penis, but to your relief it looked acceptably normal.

You spat into your hand, coating his length with firm strokes until he hardened completely under your touch.

“Fuck,” he grunted, his small hand coming up to cover your own to speed up your movements. “Yeah, just like that. Spit on it again, fuck.”

You obliged even though the entire thing was messy; his precum mixed with your spit helped your hand glide over his shaft in quick strokes. Slick sounds interlaced with heavy breathing filled the small bathroom stall. The obscene noises spiked up your level of arousal and you let out a dissatisfied whine to remind him to take care of you, too.

You jumped as you felt his hand creep up your flank, his slim fingers reaching for your bra. Belatedly, you realized he was about five seconds away from discovering the most padded bra made by man so you hurried to dissuade him.

“Not the boobs.” Your right hand paused mid-stroke so you could make sure he got the message. “They’re, uh, they’re sensitive right now.”

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes, instead shoving the same hand down the waistband of your skirt without any warning. His plump lips swallowed down your surprised squeal, a groan making its way into your mouth.

His fingers trailed the trims of lace on your underwear, hooking under the hem to trace over your heat. He didn’t waste any time, sinking his fingers into your wet center to curl inside, vainly trying to find your g-spot. His thumb traced over your bundle of nerves a little too roughly and you squeezed his length in response. The muscles in his arms flexed as he plunged his digits into your slick heat. You closed your eyes, trying to grow accustomed to his relentless ministrations.

“What the fuck?!”

“What?” The sheer disgust in his tone jolted you back to reality, your head banging into the wall with a dull sound. “What is it, what’s wrong?”

He brought up his hand so you could see the way his small fingers glistened with your juices and b—

“Couldn’t you have told me you were on your period before making me finger you?”

“Ummmmm.” Admittedly, you weren’t being very eloquent but it was difficult to gather your thoughts when there was fucking blood on his hand and under his nails. You were way too freaked out to think about this calmly. What the fuck. What the actual fuck. What the...

“It’s not my time of the month...” You frowned as he went to wipe off his hand with toilet paper. “I’m not due until another week and half. What the fuck...”

Now that there wasn’t a haze covering your vision, it was easier to analyze the situation logically. And without his fingers hammering away against your walls, it was easier to notice a sting near your sensitive skin. It was starting to dawn on you that the asswipe had actually fingered you too hard, making you bleed. You were about to screech in horror but he continued on, interrupting your inner screaming.

“Yeah, right. There was fucking blood! I know I’ve had a few drinks but look!” He waved around the soiled toilet paper to prove his point, ignoring the way you coiled away in revulsion. “You’re disgusting.”

You couldn’t believe the actual nerve of this shithead. Incensed, you had a hard time keeping your voice down, wanting nothing more than to shove his head into the disgusting toilet bowl to shut him up.

“I don’t have my period! You’re the one who tried to claw out my vagina!” Inwardly, you seethed. “Get the fuck out of here while I’m still being nice.”

“Whatever.”

You sent a text to Youjin informing her you would take a taxi cab home. The night was coming to a premature end but you were too angry to go find someone else to take home. You weren’t in the right mind to trust anyone else with your vagina at the moment, not when it was apparently in danger of being clawed out.

youjin [01:13 am] homerun? ;)

She was so far from the truth that it was actually kind of sad... You were starting to think you were cursed. Why was it this troublesome to find someone who would give you a satisfying experience? Why were the guys you met so inadequate?

All of your experiences were getting progressively worse and you weren’t sure what to blame your bad luck on. You weren’t a bad person... You paid your all of your bills and picked up your dog’s poo when you took him out for a walk. Why was karma being a petty bitch and fucking you over?

At your return, your roommate raised an inquisitive eyebrow, eyeing your disheveled form in concern. Upon noticing your despondent expression, she nodded in understanding. “Was it really that bad?”

“I mean… It could have been... worse. Oh, who am I kidding, it was fucking awful." You cringed, catching your refection in the mirror overhanging the foyer. The corner of your eyes were smudged with kohl and your hair looked like a greasy mess. “Shit, I look like a wreck. Let me shower, yeah? I smell like piss and beer."

You needed to wipe down the gross layer of sweat that covered your body and check your vagina for any irrevocable damage. Thankfully, after a quick inspection, everything seemed to be okay and functioning properly but you still couldn’t trust Thomas or whatever his name was. You spent ten minutes cleaning your hands with soap, scrubbing every possible surface to make sure you weren’t going to catch anything else.

What you needed was a full body cleanse. You flinched as your toes made contact with the cold tiles, hands blindly reaching for the shower knob. Ice cold water rained down your back but you clenched your jaw and endured it, hoping it would distract you from the worries plaguing your mind.

Soon enough, steam enveloped you, heat soaking into your skin, muscles slowly unwinding. However, it became apparent that the comforting spray of water wasn’t enough to dispel any of your concerns.

Honestly, what was the use of having a nice dick if you couldn't use it properly? Why would men boast about their skills when it was obvious they didn't give two flying fucks about their partner's sexual pleasure? Why were men so selfish? You weren't even asking for much... Was one orgasm really too much to ask for?

"Men are gross," you whispered to yourself bitterly, reaching for the peach scented body wash. Perhaps it was time to finally invest in a nice vibrator, because if your recent experiences were anything to go by, you wouldn’t be getting off any time soon.

You didn’t even have it in you to be angry. The frustration over your lack of success had slowly ebbed away and left only room for doubt—doubt in yourself and your ability to not attract assholes. There are so many men out there; you refused to believe they were all one and the same. Still, your experiences so far had proved you otherwise and your optimism was beginning to dwindle.

After making sure you were completely clean, you wandered off to the living room, wrapped in your fluffy bathrobe. You flopped down on the couch, your dripping hair making a mess on the furniture.

“I’m cursed,” you bemoaned, words muffled because you had face planted into the cushions. “Dicks hate me.”

“Why are you always so dramatic?” your roommate scoffed, not even bothering to sound sympathetic, attention focused on a rerun of Project Runway.

“I’m serious.” You sat back up, attaching your hair so it would stop soaking the back of your nightshirt. “I think men are allergic to me.”

You recounted all of your failed encounters, not leaving out that one time a guy had ‘accidentally’ rimmed you while trying to eat you out. What a nightmare. You still got full body shivers whenever you remembered that horrific experience. At the end of your heated monologue, you couldn’t help but get a little emotional, lamenting your string of failures.

“Listen to me... Let’s get one thing straight—you are not the problem. All those guys were self-centered assholes who thought they were hot shit. Not everyone is like that, you know. Are you seriously going to give up on dick because of a few bad experiences?”

“I’m not interested in dating,” you insisted, ignoring her. “But I never said I wasn’t interested in dick. I just... want one that knows what it's doing. Does that make sense? I don’t want to have to deal with period scares or guys that try to sneak in a bit of butt action when you’re distracted."

“Oh?” She visibly perked up at your words, trying to assess how serious you were being. "You know... There's an app for that."

"I've tried dating websites... But it's exhausting, and I'm not ready for any emotional inv—"

"Not that," she cut in impatiently, reaching for her purse and rummaging inside.

“A sex toy seems like the better option.” You pointed out, reluctantly giving into the idea. “I don’t really like the feel of silicone but—”

After a few taps on her phone and a triumphant “hmmfph” sound, she thrust her device in your face. It took a few short seconds for the screen to come into focus; the proximity nearly made you go cross-eyed.

“Dick n’ Go?" Doubt seeped through your words. "Why does this sound like a bad porn movie? How does this even work...” You trailed off, not convinced by her idea in the slightest. It was hard to trust someone who liked to put cucumber slices in the water pitcher just because ‘it looked aesthetic’.

“It’s like the upgraded, safer version of Tinder. You’re guaranteed to land someone who knows what he’s doing. Trust me... If Stevie and I hadn’t gotten back together, I’d probably still be using Dick n’ Go all the time. This is the best invention of the 21st century. Everyone should be using this!”

You looked down at the her phone suspiciously. How did she expect you do jump onto the Dick n’ Go bandwagon when it had such a terrible name...

“Just give it a try!” she persisted, nudging you with her elbow. “No offense, but it can't get any worse."

“Okay,” you relented. “But only this once! And if this fails, then I’ll just accept my fate.”

You waited for the app to download on your own phone, inwardly cringing at the phallic illustration used as the logo.

Glancing over the questionnaire, you filled out the form with the requested details. The beginning seemed fairly normal—requiring your basic information such as your name and age. You didn’t think much of it, but as you slowly made your way through the rest of the questions, worry and heavy doubt started to sink in.

Calling your friend over, you motioned at the screen in front of you. “Why are they asking me the penis size I prefer? Is this some kind of joke...”

Your friend’s manic cackling did nothing to soothe your growing apprehension. “I’m telling you, this app is fucking genius. Revolutionary. Just take it seriously for now… You’ll see. You really won’t regret it.”

You considered her advice and figured it wouldn’t hurt to try, even if the application method was a bit…weird and unconventional. Signing up didn’t implicate commitment of any kind, so you could always back down if things didn’t work out.

Once you finished completing all the necessary information and choosing a nice picture of yourself (cleavage included), your nerves started getting the best of you. A strange feeling seized you right then—a premonition of sorts.

As the first picture loaded onto your screen, you almost dropped your phone in shock. After the initial surprise had worn off, your attention focused back onto the first person’s profile. Instead of being greeted with a flattering picture of his face, a large, limp dick hanging between a pair of sturdy thighs showed up.

The format reminded you a bit of tinder but as you flicked through the different profiles, it became apparent that every possible match had pictures of their dicks instead of the usual bathroom selfie or cute snaps of them out with their dog.

“Some of this is a bit…” You faltered, shooting your friend another dubious glance. “Are you sure this is okay? Why do they have listed ‘vigorous humping’ as an option?”

“Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Personally, I like the ones who are good at ‘powerful thwacking’ but to each their own.”

You pretended like you hadn’t heard her last comment, thumb still flicking through the dick pics. It was your first time seeing so many penises at once and to say you were overwhelmed wasn’t an exaggeration.

“Why would anyone agree to this? Isn’t it a bit... How can they be okay with strangers judging them off their dicks alone?”

“That’s because there’s nothing that strokes a guy’s ego more than a dick compliment. You see the stars next to their names? You have to evaluate their performance after you take a ride. You think guys who are shit in bed would sign up on this app? Their puny egos wouldn’t be able to handle getting zero stars.”

You figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try.. Especially if mutual satisfaction was 100% guaranteed. Trying to find the best rated dick took a bit longer than expected, but you finally landed on a profile that seemed more than acceptable. Not only did he have a good reputation but the dick was actually nice to look at.

you [03:01 am] is that a fake dick

Granted, it probably was not the best conversation starter, but you weren’t exactly a dick dating expert. In your defense, how were you supposed to start a normal conversation when the only information you had about your partner was how well endowed he was? No matter how you looked at the situation, it felt like you were having a conversation with an actual dick.

Feeling embarrassed, you turn off your phone. The app seemed a little too ridiculous for your tastes and the next day you had already forgotten all about it. Too busy nursing a hangover and tending to your aching vagina, you didn’t give Dick n’ Go any second thoughts until a message pinged in during the night as you were getting ready for bed.

jin [11:12 pm] 100% real lol

jin [11:12 pm] why? afraid you can’t handle it

At his speedy answer, you could only scoff, fingers suspended over your keyboard as you debated whether or not to humor him. He sounded like just another campus fuckboy, way too overconfident in his own skills, when the reality was probably very far from his claims. The recent events had made you even more wary of guys who bragged too much because their actions never lived up to the expectations they had built.

But the five gold stars next to his name seemed to be winking at you, teasing you further. You hadn’t come across any profile with over three stars, so the full marks did pique your curiosity. Despite your better judgement, you wanted to know if he was really as good as his description suggested... Didn’t five stars imply he was the closest thing to a Sex God? You tried to imagine being with someone who never received complaints in the bedroom but everything just seemed too unbelievable to take seriously. Instead of feeling intimidated by his reputation, doubt clouded your thoughts. Surely someone couldn’t be that good. Right?

Yet, for some inexplicable reason, you chose to continue the conversation. There was no harm in humoring him for a bit longer, you convinced yourself. But just as you started typing out a response, you backtracked, realizing how foolish you were acting.

you [11:14 pm] i can handle anything just fine

you [11:14 pm] ur way too full of yourself...

There. Hopefully that would be the end of that, and he would leave you alone now.

You didn’t even know why you had agreed to do this; clearly, this arrangement was full of obnoxious men with over-inflated egos. Still, somewhere deep down, curiosity gnawed at your insides. The big “What If” lingered in the back of your mind as you stared at the darkened screen of your phone full of expectation.

jin [11:17 pm] you’re the one who talks big.. you think you can handle what i give you? hha

jin [11:18 pm] it’s ok..

jin [11:18 pm] it’s cute that you think you can

you [11:20 pm] seems like u’ve got me all figured out

you [11:21 pm] we’ll see who is right

At first, you chose to indulge him just because it was entertaining. But the more messages were exchanged, a strange thrill buzzed through your body as you anticipated his replies.

Once, you had made the grave mistake of opening an incoming picture in the middle of a lecture, only to be greeted with the image of his erect length, pink and shiny with precum. Thankfully, no one had seemed to notice Jin’s dick, but you had been ready to crawl out of the lecture hall in embarrassment. And not because someone might have seen Jin’s impressive erection. You didn’t really care about that. What you would have a hard time admitting was that a single picture had gotten you so worked up, concentrating in class had become impossible.

Jin—that arrogant prick—had somehow known how affected he had made you. Since then, he hadn’t hesitated to tease you further over the next few days with various pictures of his dick. Now, you never knew what kind of image you would be met with. It could be anything from a tame picture of his jean clad covered bulge to a short five second video of his hand stroking his shaft, his thumb swiping the tip to collect a bead of precum. Once, he had even had the audacity to moan your name right before he came, white dripping out of his spent member.

No one could blame you for being wary whenever you opened his messages. But in the safety of your own room, you allowed yourself to open his latest message. In all honesty, you had waited all day to finally be able to view the sent picture in privacy. You clicked on the image, enlarging it so that it lit up your screen. Without conscious thought, your lips parted in surprise.

The first thought to cross your mind was 'what the heck... he could at least try to make his catfishing believable'. His face defied the norm... With perfectly symmetrical features, your eyes didn’t know where to focus its gaze. You took a moment to stare at his plush lips before snapping out of it, typing out a furious response, fingers moving so quickly you had to backtrack to correct your typos.

you [11:54 pm] r u kidding me??

you [11:54 pm] send me your real face ;(

jin [11:54 pm] what makes you think i'm not? lol

you [11:55 pm] no normal person looks good in the bj angle!!

jin [11:57 pm] the bj angle? lmao

You paused as the three gray dots appeared on your screen once more. He left you no time to answer back; the short buzzes against your palm signaled the onslaught of incoming messages that arrived one right after the other, illuminating the dark of your room.

jin [11:58 pm] you'll have to get used to it

jin [11:58 pm] i like eye contact when i get head

jin [11:58 pm] you're imagining it right now arent u? ha

jin [11:58 pm] are you wet

There was something amusing about his overflowing confidence. You weren’t sold quite yet, but there was no harm in continuing the conversation.

you [11:59 pm] u really think you can get me wet over text??

you [11:59 pm] you'll have to work harder for that

jin [11:59 pm] mmh i like a challenge

jin [12:00 am] but it's okay to admit it too

jin [12:00 am] i won't judge

Now that you knew what he claimed to look like, the entire thing became a little less ridiculous and a bit more real. You weren’t just talking to a faceless, talking dick... There was an actual person attached to it. Said person just happened to be abnormally handsome...

It would be incredibly stupid of you to believe him. But his account was verified. That had to count for something, right? You were about to type out a response when he continued on.

jin [12:01 am] in fact

jin [12:02 am] i like it better that way, when i get you to admit you're hungry for dick

you [12:04 am] i'm not... so good luck with that

Instantly, you regretted not responding with something more witty. Your words sounded hollow and unconvincing. He probably knew as well as you did that you were interested. Why else would you keep messaging him after this long? He was the only one you talked to on the app, the only who truly caught your attention and curiosity.

Gnawing your bottom lip between your teeth, you wondered what he would answer. For a fleeting second, you wondered where all of this would take you... It was easier to imagine yourself actually going through with all of this now that you had a face to match to his name.

jin [12:06 am] i think you are

jin [12:06 am] why else would you join dng? you need a nice dick to satisfy you

jin [12:07 am] you love cock

Your mouth dropped open as you read over the latest messages. The words bothered you because deep down you knew he was right. You were a thirsty slut who wanted a good dicking down. But he didn’t have to be so crude about it... Although maybe etiquette didn’t matter when you were part of an app called Dick n’ Go.

you [12:09 am] ur right..

you [12:10 am] i love cock

you [12:10 am] but only one that knows what it’s doing

jin [12:11 am] sounds like a challenge

jin [12:12 am] i don’t have 5 fucking stars for nothing ;-)

Maybe agreeing to setting up an arrangement was a bad idea. In all honesty, you had been very unsure about everything. During the nights leading up to this day, you had doubted your choice many times but Jin had never failed to reassure you. He reminded you that you were free to cancel anytime or step away from the entire thing.

The thing was... You weren’t worried that it would somehow go terribly wrong. Your real worry was that you would never be able to go back to your normal hookups after this. How were you ever supposed to be the same again? Jin was reputed to be a sex god. Going from horrible fucks to the best fuck of your entire life was too steep a jump and you weren’t sure you were ready for it.

Your worries weren’t unfounded.

The first thought to cross your mind was “how the fuck is someone like him real?”. Now, you had seen your fair share of handsome men in your life, but he really took the cake. Equipped with symmetrical features, doe eyes and the softest looking pair of plump lips, you had a hard time believing a face like his truly existed. You blinked quickly, trying to pull your attention away from his draw-dropping face, only for your attention to fall on his shoulders.

How the heck could someone’s shoulders be so broad?! He looked like he could carry two people on each side and still have room for more. You were glad he wasn’t gifted with the ability to read minds. He might have been put off by the amount of internal screaming that was currently taking place, and the last thing you wanted was for him to run away.

“Not what you were expecting?” he chuckled.

“I, um,” you stuttered, not sure what to do with yourself all of a sudden. For some ridiculous reason, you felt your pulse race as his gaze perused your form.

Snapping yourself out of your mindless reverie, you tried your best to appear unaffected when he took off his hoodie. The thin cotton shirt underneath hugged his body tightly, showcasing his broad shoulders and rippling back muscles. You wanted to swim on his back. Or let him backstroke on your body... Really, you weren’t a difficult person; you welcomed either option.

“I look good, don’t I.” The way he delivered the phrase showed he didn’t expect an answer, the corners of his lips already curled into a haughty smirk.

His confidence made you narrow your eyes in response. The sight reminded you of all the fuckboys you had encountered in the past few weeks. They always bragged and boasted, their words fueled by the same excessive confidence. It always started out the same way—with empty promises and self-praise—but this time you weren’t going to let yourself be fooled. You didn’t care if Jin was the most handsome human being your eyes had every laid eyes upon. The point of this entire arrangement was for you to get an earth shattering orgasm and you weren’t going to settle for anything less than spectacular. He was rated five stars on his profile for a reason—now was the time to prove it.

“Listen, Jin,” you said with faux sweetness coating your words. “It doesn’t matter what you look like... Looks don’t matter if you’re going to end up leaving me unsatisfied. So don’t think, even for a second, that you can roll over, let me do all the work and then leave me high and dry.”

“Unsatisfied?” He parroted, brow furrowing like he had no idea what the word meant. “Sounds like you’ve never been with a real man before.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong on that front but you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting him know he was right. The last thing he needed was an ego boosting.

“You talk too much...” Scoffing, you crossed your arms to showcase your annoyance. “Guys like you usually don’t even know where to find my clit. It’s sad. You really shouldn’t build up expectations like that, only to disappoint when it’s time to get your dick wet.”

An offended squawk escaped his plump lips. “Hey now. First of all, unless your pussy is a jungle down there, you can rest assured finding your clit won’t be an Easter egg hunt. Who do you think I am?”

He ignored the mild look of indignation that crossed over your features. Instead, he took a seat on the queen-sized bed, his legs falling open invitingly. With difficulty, you kept your eyes trained on his face even though they itched to wander down.

“Come sit on Daddy’s lap.”

“Fuck, no,” you grumbled at once, ignoring the way his gruff tone shot arousal through your stomach. “I’m not calling you Daddy or Papi or whatever else you’re probably into.”

He shrugged, otherwise not budging an inch. He looked at you expectantly, confident that you would give in. “If you want to cum tonight like a good girl, then I suggest you take a seat.” He patted his thighs for emphasis, your eyes immediately drawn to the enticing bulge that was nicely showcased in his tight jeans.

That arrogant fucker did look good, you admitted inwardly, scowling slightly as you did so.

You sat down gingerly, trying to keep your composure in check. The ever-permanent smirk on his face revealed he hadn’t missed your audible gulp when you made contact with his strong thighs.

“So far, I’m pretty unimpressed...” You lied, shifting around on his lap just you could feel how comfortable your makeshift seat was.

His fingers twitched at your side, his nails scratching your exposed skin and sending tingles down your spine. “Maybe you’re so accustomed to messy and drunken college fucks that your expectations are a bit skewed. You know... Just because you’ve had sex a handful of times doesn’t mean you’re experienced.”

He chuckled, the low sound rumbling in his chest. You tried to ignore the way the vibrations made goosebumps prickle the surface of your skin, doing your best to keep the most indifferent expression on your face.

“Did you think that just because we decided to meet up today, you’d get your orgasm handed to you on a silver platter? I don’t think so, babygirl.” He shook his head in amusement.

Momentarily distracted by the unexpected petname, it took a bit longer than usual for words to form on your tongue.

“Then what—”

“You’re not getting my cock until I know you want it.”

“I don’t think I would be here if I didn’t,” you shot back, your patience slowly running out. You weren’t known for being the most forbearing person. But then you were suddenly struck down by something your roommate had said—something about how getting a dick compliment was the same thing as Christmas day coming early. Did he really expect you to beg for his dick? That wasn’t so different from the fuckboys you were used to. Really, all guys were so similar. They all wanted to be told they were the best before getting to cum.

Jin must have taken notice of your mildly revolted expression because he gave your ass a squeeze.

“You’re so spoiled...” He chastised, clucking his tongue like he was scolding a child. “You’re too used to fucks that last five minutes on a good day... No wonder you’re so irritable. Hmmm... Do you know what I usually do with little girls like you?”

Little? He couldn’t have been that much older than you... You rolled your eyes only for them to blow open, not expecting the stinging smack on your left asscheek. The force of the swat made you jolt forward, the denim of your shorts rubbing against your clit, sending small zaps of pleasure down your spine.

“Let me guess... You punish them,” you glowered.

“Punishment?” Jin hums in contemplation, his large hand rubbing the place where he had hit you, soothing away the ache. “That’s not what I would call it.”

He leaned in close so that his breath ghosted over the sensitive skin of your ear, “listen closely. I’m not going to feed you my cock until I see you drooling for it.”

You bit your lower lip, trying to gauge how serious he was being. There was no denying you wanted him to fuck you, but you weren’t sure you could handle whatever he had in store for you.

Jin’s features softened, seemingly sensing your hesitancy. “It’s okay... Just follow my lead. I’ll make you feel good, okay? You just have to prove that you want this as much as I suspect you do.”

“And how do— I mean, what do...” You stammered, genuinely at a loss for words. The guys you were usually with would have already stripped out of their jeans, but Jin looked like he wasn’t going to move an inch.

“You’re really tense, babygirl.” Jin massaged your neck, his thumbs rubbing out the tense muscles in soft circles. You felt yourself turn limp and pliant in his lap, head drooping down as he worked out the kinks in your neck. “That’s it, just relax for me. Are you ready to be a good girl now?”

You nodded mutely, letting his soothing voice guide you. Something about his voice made you trust him; you felt confident he wouldn’t let you down. One of his hands tilted your head down so he could slant his plush lips against yours. Immediately, you melted against his mouth, the softness of his lips silently inviting you to press into them. But despite your most fervent efforts, his kisses stayed languid, refusing to match your pace. Frustrated, you moved in closer, molding your body against his, your fingers carding through the hairs at his nape. To your dismay, he pulled back, a satisfied look covering his features.

“See? This is a good start. Keep moving your hips like that.”

With a start, you realized you had been grinding desperate little circles into his lap, your hips searching for much needed friction.

“J-Jin.” Your words came out as a soft plea, your gaze hooded with desire.

“Do you need a little help?” He smiled at you sweetly, taking pleasure in seeing you slowly fall apart at the seams.

His hands slid up under the hem of your shorts, squeezing the flesh and urging you to continue the smooth rocking movements. With every undulation, you felt your arousal grow until your entire body was consumed with pure, unbridled need. The slow burn was different from what you were usually used to but not in a bad way. You were slowly losing your mind, your hips moving more and more frantically as you tried to rub the burning ache away.

Jin pinched your ass, effectively stopping your movements before you could get too carried away. The sharp bite went straight to your core, the ball of arousal in the pit of your stomach coiling tightly. You were distinctly aware how your damp panties were stuck to your folds and how wetness dripped down your thigh—proof of your rampant desire Jin had coaxed to life.

“If we took your shorts off right now and continued, you would make a mess of my jeans, wouldn’t you?”

Jin slapped your ass again as he waited for you to answer him.

“Y-yes! I’d make a mess all over you.” Trying to ignore the heat that bloomed on your cheeks, you stuttered out your reply.

“And why is that? Hm?” He remained still, his hands unmoving at your side, patiently awaiting your response. The answer he expected was clear to you but for some reason the words wouldn’t come out—stuck in your throat.

You gasped, your hands finding purchase on his broad shoulders. He was bouncing his leg up, making you lurch forward with every jerk of his knee. Every time you slammed back down, the pressure on your clit increased tenfold and your eyes became glassy as pleasure inflamed your insides.

“Oh g-god, fuck, I—”

“Why are you such a mess for my cock, huh? Why do you think you got so worked up easily? I didn’t even have to do much and you’ve become putty in my hands.” He maneuvered your body around so that you brushed up against his covered erection. Soft whines and mewls escaped your lips when he pushed your hips down further against him. It was hard to fathom why he wouldn’t just fuck you already and extinguish the throb between your thighs.

“I don’t know. I’m not— I just...” You inhaled deeply, trying to lift the haze of lust that muddled your thoughts. “Please, can I have your cock now? I’ve been good.”

“Hmm... But that’s not what I want to hear, is it? Do you remember what I told you over text?” You blinked slowly, your mind drawing a blank at his question. How did he expect you to answer such a vague question? “No? Well, let me refresh your memory. I recall you saying that you weren’t cock hungry, but I think we both know that’s not true, is it?”

There was a pause of silence as you tried to weigh the pros and the cons. At the end of the day, he wasn’t wrong. But it was embarrassing to admit it out loud.

“Fine, I’m cock hungry. I love cock. Can we fuck now?” you huffed out, refusing to meet his smug stare.

“Hm. Somehow I had imagined it sounding a lot sexier when you said it...” The space between his brows creased as slight disappointment marred his features.

“Life isn’t a porn movie, Jin.”

“We met through an app called Dick n’ Go,” he quipped back, rolling his eyes. “It was worth a shot.”

With surprising strength, he lifted you up by the waist before setting you down on the bed. Instantly, you missed being pressed up against the hard planes of his body and having his large hands holding you closer to him. The pale blue cotton sheets creased under your weight as you shimmied backwards.

“Clothes off.”

His tone made you shudder with anticipation. You could tell he was done with foreplay for now; the obvious bulge in his jeans reminding you he was probably equally affected as you. His eyes were dark, hunger etched onto every part of his expression. You scooted back on the bed until your back met the headboard, your hands busy with ridding yourself of your garments.

Jin, on the other hand, took his sweet time taking off his belt; the metal clink echoed in the silence of the room, shooting shivers down your back. Your want for him was almost palpable—you could feel the desire sit heavy on your tongue. His gaze never left your exposed body, trailing over the slim column of your neck, the curves of your waist and your rosy nipples. You smirked, letting your legs fall open so he could sneak a peak at your glistening core. He swallowed thickly, peeling off his shirt and kicking away his jeans, too aroused to care about composure anymore. Every man had their own limits and you were glad Jin was reaching his if that meant he would finally stop playing around.

As he crawled onto the bed, you expected him to start fucking you right away but instead he dove headfirst between your legs.

“Jin, what are—” But he kept your legs wide open with a steady grip on your thighs, ignoring your weak cries of protest. He went straight to work, his tongue taking an experimental lick before pressing more insistently against your folds, deftly avoiding your clit. Any disapproval promptly died in your throat, your body succumbing to the overwhelming pleasure he gave you.

You had been worried he would slobber everywhere and maybe try to lick down lower like your previous experiences, but his tongue movements stayed consistent and languid. He seemed to know exactly how to move, how much you could take. Any coherent thought was wiped out with every skillful swirl and swipe of his tongue against your slick center. Your mewls of pleasure became progressively louder as your body succumbed to his insistent licks.

Threading your fingers through his soft locks, you attempted to bring his face closer to your core. Need pulsed through your veins as you wriggled around, canting your hips in time with the swipes of his tongue. Eventually, everything within you snapped. The intensity of your orgasm took you by surprise, not expecting the strength of the pleasure as it crashed over you over and over again. Your toes curled and your back arched, every one of your muscles tensing as the orgasm took hold of you.

Slowly, you came back to reality. Blinking away white spots from your vision, you tensed up again when your eyes landed on Jin’s satisfied expression. He looked absolutely sinful—his hair messy from your tugging, his face wet from your arousal.

“Good?” Jin asked, licking his lips dry, his chin still shiny from your wetness.

“Mmh.” You nodded, too fucked out to give a more intelligible reply. Your limbs felt heavy, your tongue too big for your mouth. But there was no denying the glorious satisfaction that settled deep in your core. “Fuck me now?”

“You’re insatiable,” he scolded lightly. It was hard to take him seriously when his eyes gleamed with something close to endearment. Still, despite his words, he wasted no time lining up his erection with your waiting center.

You took a moment to appreciate how utterly gorgeous he was. When you looked at Jin, you knew you were looking at a man. His forehead shined with a sheen of sweat, his chin still wet from your juices. And his fucking shoulders. You had never really paid attention to other people’s shoulders before, but you somehow knew that no one else’s shoulders could ever compare to Jin’s.

“Ah, fuck,” he grunted above you, frowning slightly as he eased himself in slowly. “You’re so wet, I’m sliding right in.”

You bit your lip, trying to remember how to breathe. It was hard to accommodate his impressive girth, but the stretch felt so good you couldn’t help but let out a long moan. Jin slowly thrust the rest of his length in, one of his hands gliding over your smooth thigh only to hike it up over his hip. He kept his grip steady before pushing back into you, drawing out another pleased sound from your lips as he reached impossibly deeper within you.

“Look,” he grinned between heavy pants. Wiping the side of your mouth with his thumb, he wiped your spit over your cheek. “I told you. You’re drooling all over yourself because of my cock. Cute.”

If you had been more self-possessed you would have rolled your eyes and shot back a witty remark. But at the moment, you were having a hard enough time remembering your own name... Every fluid roll of his hips into yours rubbed the insides of your walls deliciously, your walls clenching around him as you neared your release. You couldn’t believe you were already so close to crumbling apart again, not when it usually took so much effort to get you off.

“Are you gonna cum already? Mmh fuck, good girl. Make a mess of the sheets and then I’ll feed you my cock like I promised.” He picked up the pace of his thrusts, intent on making you fall apart one more time. Jin reached down to circle down on your clit with precision, timing the swipes of his fingers with the rhythm of his hips. The rapid flicks against your sensitive spots felt too good; you couldn’t help but grind into his touch for more friction.

You shook and moaned, pleasure striking down upon you without any warning. A cry of ecstasy fell from your lips, your nails scratching down his back as you tried to ground yourself to reality. Jin groaned loudly as your walls clamped down around him, squeezing out his own orgasm. Feeling him cum in spurts inside you made a shudder ripple through you, prolonging your high. You felt like you were floating; your limp and spent body still vibrating from the aftershocks. Every limb was thrumming with pleasure.

Jin rolled over next to you, his chest rising and falling from the exertion. His hair was matted with sweat, his body cloaked in a thin layer of perspiration. But as you eyed the pink flush on his cheeks, you inwardly admitted that he was probably the most handsome person you had met in your life.

But not only was he devastatingly handsome, but he had given you the fuck of your life. Instead of the usual fast-paced hammering you had been previously subjected to, Jin had taken his time and built your orgasm brick by brick. It was difficult to accept guys like him actually existed in this world...

“If you want seconds, you just have to ask.” He caught your gaze mid-appraisal, a cocky smirk settling on his lips.

“You just came.”

“My refractory period is quite short, actually. And I can usually last a lot longer my second time.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, his hand already sliding down to play with your dripping center. You shied away from his touch, still too sensitive.

Well, of course he would have the stamina of a pornstar... This guy was just too good to be true. You half-expected to be woken up from a very lucid dream and be brought back to the cold, harsh reality. Guys like Jin were a rarity. And after tonight, you probably would never meet him again. You would only be left with a distant memory and new standards that would be impossible to meet.

Regret churned in your gut. What was done was done. You tried to focus on the positive side of things... You did just have a mind-blowing orgasm. That was something you ought to be celebrating and not moping about.

“It’s okay, I can go get you cleaned up right now. We can go for a round two next time.” Your eyelids felt heavy but you smiled at him in thanks when he got up to get a wet towel for you.

You didn’t mean to fall asleep but when you woke up, the morning sunlight filtered through the sheer drapes. Basking under the warm rays of light, you stretched out your sore muscles.

Last night had been a dream, hadn’t it? The space next to you on the bed was disappointingly empty and void. Maybe you had just dreamed everything up, after all... Releasing a sigh, you slowly got up, hand reaching over the bedside table to check the time on your phone. Frowning, you rubbed the sleepiness from your eyes, fingers wrapping around a slip of paper after fumbling around blindly.

It took a moment for your vision to sharpen into focus but when it did, a lazy smile pulled at the corners of your lips. Next to a scrawled phone number was signed off ‘call me for round two xx your favorite five star dick guy’. And, well, who were you to turn down a good fuck?

#happy birthday mommy wonka;;#accept the seokjin di cc aka the greatest gift of them all #bangtanwriters-net #kkreationsnet #kwriterskollection #bts smut #bts scenarios #seokjin scenarios #seokjin smut #kpop scenarios #i need to go back and edit the last scene but yay :'')

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xluckytheninjax · 7 years ago

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Watch Dogs {2} - An OC

Wondered whether Watch Dogs OCs are a thing.And they are - there aren’t a lot of ‘em,but eyyyy.Thus,I threw my OC in the Watch Dogs world.I mixed it with some altered Need For Speed Undercover backstory because why not.I am aware NFS:U doesn’t take place in SF,but it does take place in a fictional area near a beach with big skyscrapers so yeah,moved it to SF. I personally love NFS:U,because well,not even two minutes into the game and I already have at least 6 police cars on my tail.Along with that,some South African background cause well….that’s my homeland.Pretty great hellhole over here.

Have a drawing {Don’t repost/remove all this writing/claim as your own/you know the drill} and some random BS I wrote down playing WD 1 and 2 at like 11 PM/midnight/1 AM over the weekend.

I am ready for anything,anyone that wants to bitch about this or argue about stuff.

This is obviously OC stuff,so if you dislike it,feel free to go look for another post or blog or whatever the hell you want to do.

I used a reference for the ‘pose’ {I wouldn’t call this a full-on pose,but -shrugs-}

Name ‘n’ surname: Kayla Horizon

Screenname/Hacker alias: N1nJ4 {Ninja}

Nicknames: Ninja,Kay,Lucky,Ghost

Age: 23 years old

Gender: Female,of course

Personality:

Stubborn

Cares a lot for her family,friends and workpals {who’re also friends}

Loyal to DedSec

Not easily influenced

Quiet

Overthinks everything

Sarcastic

Not easily intimidated {Or so she claims}

Happy with what her life is,even between all the stress and overthinking.

Has some trust issues.The type where she gets this feeling in her gut telling her whether a person can be trusted or not.She trusted her workpals immediately,she trusted Ray immediately…as an example of who she didn’t trust,Horatio’s co-worker.And she wasn’t even on that mission.

Usually keeps things that wouldn’t be important to the current objective(s)/mission(s) to herself

It’s a good thing her face is blurred out like the others’,cause she’s camera shy.She hates getting photos taken of her,she hates looking at the camera…unless of course,she’s the one taking a photo of scenery or of friends.If you’re gonna point a camera of any sort to her face,she will not hesitate to break it.

Very protective over the things and people she cares about.So,you wreck her car? You insult DedSec or target her pals? You mess with Sitara’s artwork? You kidnap other DedSec members? Mess with DedSec’s systems? You mess with her dog or drag her family into things you shouldn’t? You better start running then,pal.And make it fast.

Trained herself to not cry in front of people.It’s harder than it looks.Anger also gets bottled up.One day she’ll snap….probably.Then all chaos and hell will break loose.

Loses a lot of sleep thinking

Stresses over nothing

Introvert

Reckons anything can be solved by an asskicking

Takes her job seriously,but,in between she likes messing with people

Claims she doesn’t care,but she cares too much

Honesty,loyalty,respect and trust are big things to her.As explained before,she follows her gut on who to trust and who not.If you’re gonna betray DedSec,you might end up dead.Everybody lies,it’s human nature,but that’s where trust and loyalty comes in with honesty.The three walk hand in hand,really.Respect? You respect her,she respects you,as easy as that.

Might seem really confident,and she really does seem to be that way,but in reality,her self-esteem is pathetic

-Because she keeps a lot of things to herself,a lot of her personality remains a mystery.

{At least half of these are some of my personality traits}

Working for: DedSec,what did you expect? She was going to go work for those dumbass monkeys,or the rat cult? Pff,nah.

Hair color: Original hair color is dirty blonde Currently ombre:Brown - Dirty blonde - Blonde

Hair style: Long hair,shaved shorter on the right side.Leaving it loose or tying it in a ponytail or something depends on how she’s feeling,and whether it’s mission time or not.Can’t work if you’ve got hair in your face.

Eye color: “Not every day you see someone with heterochromia.” Left eye is blue,right eye is green

{My persona’s had this since she got created a million years back so obviously,no matter what universe she’s in,she’s always gonna have that.}

Height: 5'11

Piercings/Tattoos:

A lot of ear piercings on both sides,and a tongue piercing

A bunch of stars on her left wrist,a small 'x’ on top of her right wrist,and a ’=D’ on her back {right shoulder}

Scars and other skin-related things:

Huge scar through her left eye,and a small one through her lip on the right.There are some other faint scars here and there,nothing too major though.

Lots of freckles

Any other dayjob?: Works at a huge gaming store on some days {Every second day except for weekends}.It’s just a temporary job for now.She ended up applying for some programming job,like her parents wanted.Just waiting to hear back.

Romance?: Single,no crushes or anything of the sort. “Had to leave everyone behind since we moved here….went to uni,didn’t find anyone that’s my type…and some things that happened in the past leave me in this state where I am against romance I guess? Not like an abusive relationship or heartbreak or anything like that…just things I’m not gonna talk about.”

Cars:

-Personal car is the Ford Ranger truck she got ported in from home. It’s white with black decals and raptor kit.The thing’s a beast.

{Hope to drive one of these some day}

-Other car she keeps in the garage is the Lotus Elise she used to streetrace with.Purple with a white stripe down the middle.This thing is upgraded to the max {of course what garages can do,plus some things only a hacker can pull off}.Best part is,it doesn’t look like it belongs on the /shittycarmods subreddit.

{My NFS:U car on both PC and Playstation}

-During the day,while on missions,she has some randomass car/truck/four wheeler/motorbike she 'borrows’ or the one car she’s been putting some DedSec decals on {Sitara’s design,of course}….Then there’s the DedSec police cruiser too.

{While playing I prefer chopper bikes,the DedSec police cruiser,this car that looks like a Mustang and the movie car the bunch stole}

Pets: She has a Great Dane named Trompie.Her parents watch the dog during the day {or night depending on missions} and if she has to stay at the Hackerspace/work on missions all day,she takes him along.He behaves,and doesn’t annoy anyone…unless he sits on the couch.He’s got his own little space,with food,water and a blanket to sit on,plus newspapers.Even got toys.He’s 7 months old,and like his owner,he has heterochromia.The name’s Afrikaans,since well,can’t forget your roots,can ya? Wears a DedSec bandana over his collar.Pretty smart,but he has a thing for chasing after the drones and little RC rovers.Was not a big fan of Wrench Jr.

It took a few weeks for Wrench to get used to the dog.He didn’t even notice it until it was lazing on the couch next to Mickey while she was working.It was a scene to experience.

He doesn’t go along on missions for obvious reasons {Micks doesn’t want him to get hurt/killed…and she’s pretty sure he’d be in the way…or set off an explosive or something}.

{-shrugs- One of the best parts of Watch Dogs 2 is being able to pet the dogs.}

Some history: Born South African,moved to San Francisco.Parents also in SF,while sister moved to South Korea with a friend.Been living there for 5 years.Hacking’s been a big hobby since she was younger.She kept it a secret from her parents,to avoid being lectured and banned from her computer.Big gamer since she was a teenager.Became an intern at a police station while still at university.It doesn’t make sense why an IT student would decide on working at a police station,but eyyy,whatever.Got promoted for solving some huge computer related cases through hacking.Two years back she was called to investigate something not even closely related to hacking computers.They reckoned she would be able to handle it.Went undercover.Had to take on dangerous 'jobs’ and compete in races in order to infiltrate and take down a ruthless international crime smuggling syndicate, consisting of illegal street racers and car thieves.She ended up leaving her temporary job because of the amount of times the police chased after her for street racing,resisting arrest and all the property damage.Y'know,going too deep undercover.Wrecked a lot of cars,got rid of a lot of thugs,hacked a lot cameras,streetlights and other things to finish her job and to get away.After that was over,she made sure to erase all of that off her profile on the ctOS database.Had to do a lot of things,a lot of dangerous things,to get noticed by DedSec,and eventually got in.It wasn’t really necesary that she put her life in danger like that,but she did anyway.Go big or go home…I won’t go much into detail about that because I haven’t thought as far.

{This mess….I’ll fix eventually.It’s random,it doesn’t make sense,it isn’t how real life works,but whatever.}

Clothing {aka rambles about clothes}:

Has a variety of beanies,snapbacks and caps

Has one pair of sunglasses,aviators,as the rest got broken

She wears glasses,unless out on missions

Has a lot of t-shirts and hoodies

Has a fair amount of long sleeved shirts

Has a lot of jeans,shorts and sweatpants

Owns a few pairs of sneakers and track-shoes,and two pairs of combat boots

Has a few bandannas/masks

Has literally one fancy shirt she wears with a vest,bowtie,black pants and sneakers

Went to Swelter Skelter as some sort of glow in the dark Matryoshka-fied skeleton

Doesn’t wear any jewelry apart from her piercings and some random bracelets

Carries a shoulder bag which is clearly bigger on the inside {otherwise,how would you fit a laptop,drone,RC rover,and some other stuff in there?} With some badges and Dedsec decals

Hoodies are 60% of the time oversized

PJs are a random t-shirt and boardshorts {Onesie in the winter over that}

Has a hoodie that says 'Ghost’ and '07’ on the back {Aka my favorite Mystery skulls song and lucky number}

Random shiz: And this is the part where those who hate self-insert but still decided on reading should go to another post.This is where stuff gets worse {Not angsty worse…Just more self-inserty}.This is also where stuff starts making less and less sense since this is where I went sleep-deprived mode {1AM-2AM writing hour}

Main hangout is the main Hackerspace from the game.Second being the Silicon Valley one.

Has gone on some missions with Marcus {the ones where multiple things need to be done or where it’s going to take more than one person to do,but it’s only one thing that needs to be stolen/hacked}.

When looked at with the profiler her profile says

ctOS.exe has stopped responding

Memes 'n Dreams

How 'bout nah

Also does the parkouring,climbing high buildings and messing with cranes

Likes the skeleton Dedsec paint on her cars/motorbikes

Almost shot Lenni quite a few times - too many witnesses stopped her from doing so

Finds it entertaining to help Wrench {he’s a really amusing guy to be around,alright?}

Graffiti is great

Reckons a 'Josh protection squad’ should be made {Don’t harass him,pls}

Went on a mini murder and cop-calling spree after the Tezcas killed Horatio.Also caused a lot of fights between gangs to try wiping them out

Sees Ray as some sort of cool hippie uncle

Doesn’t smoke but always has a lighter to set stuff on fire if needed

Named her drone and rover she printed.Harvey for the rover and Zippy for the drone.Why,you might ask? Why not? Their names are painted on the sides of them.

“There’s another reason I get called Ninja.It’s not just the screenname.“

Sneaking/Stealth skill +100

Parkour skill +90

Agility +87

Speed +85

Martial arts and self defence +90

Even with skill,she’s really damn clumsy

Is sometimes going out on missions instead of Marcus,if Marcus needs to rest or recover.Goes on own little side missions as well

"First day on the damn job and I get my hoodie stolen by my workpal.”

When out on missions during the day,she wears a range of shirts/hoodies.On nightly missions she wears all black.

Weapons of choice are:

*Stungun

*SVD/other snipers {Including the Stun sniper}

*Shotguns

*Baseball bat

*Knives,especially flip knives

When hanging out at the Hackerspace {with nothing else to do} she’s sitting with her laptop or working on a PC.Either hacking,working stuff out,or searching useful stuff.

Her phone has a little charm hanging on the side.It’s a mini Deadpool logo

Always there to lend a hand

While she has told the others about the street racing stuff after first joining,she literally never talked about it again, hoping they’d forget

Isn’t one for cursing too much,but in some situations it’s needed to calm a person down…will not hesitate to swear in another language.

Fingerguns

Doesn’t drink coffee or tea,or hot chocolate.She drinks soda,lots of water,energy drinks from time to time {very seldom} and that’s about it.

Pepsi lover

Always carries one of her flip knives with her.

Hates alcohol,smoking and drugs.Thus,she doesn’t drink at all,she has never smoked,never done drugs or vaping or anything of the sort.

Never reveals location of her house or her parents’. Usually kills the cameras temporarily in the area when she’s driving home.

Night owl/always exhausted pigeon

Summer/Autumn person

Likes fire and setting things on fire {Do you know how great it is to set gangs’ supplies ablaze just to spite them?}

Also a fan of explosives.Don’t give her any though….she’ll probably blow stuff up she’s not supposed to.

Not that good a swimmer.She can swim well enough to keep herself from sinking,but she ain’t no olympic medallist.

Likes camping

Probably became part of the team a bit before our boy Marcus.A few weeks before,probably. {-dives behind barricade-}

Dislikes needles of any sorts….and thus,not a big fan of hospitals

References to movies/games/songs and puns 100%

Loves animals,and pets every single dog she can

Doesn’t have the cleanest resume.Street racing,property damage,murder,hacking,breaking into private property,stealing {data,high-tech weapons,etc},car theft,resisting arrest,the list goes on.

Wishes grappling hooks were actually a thing {simlar to those of JC3 or spy movies}

Loves Deadpool

Always has earphones in the ears if not listening to others talk or on missions,and still hears everything she’s supposed to around her. {I own this skill,so it ain’t impossible}

Loving the zombie apocalypse/post apocalyptic stuff

Loves drawing,that’s why graffiti is also great

While she dresses like a hipster/geek {with some badass Dedsec stuff in between} most of the time,she’s an emo/punk soul.

Can’t dance to save her life

Reckons that her haircut is shit,and that it’s the product from getting drunk with friends.Thus,the hate for alcohol grows stronger

Likes Vaperwave and Retrowave stuff

Avoids clubs of any sort

Mosquito magnet

Can program and reprogram a lot of things,such as robots,drones,hell,if she tries hard enough she might be able to do the same to cars,but building/rebuilding/re-engineering things…that’s difficult.The only building related skill she has is upgrading and modding her drone and RC rover,along with fixing up/upgrading/modding cars.

Learned a lot about cars while undercover.

Did some graffiti work for Sitara.Got a badass galaxy DedSec design on the side of some building.

Was very disturbed when that whole thing with the DedSec parody and strip club owner went down.Almost had a heart attack when Marcus told the bunch that the Bratva threw him in the trunk of a car that’s in the process of being crushed.

{My actual reaction to the No Compromise DLC}

When threatening people {Bad people,'course} she likes saying that she’s going to snap the person like a stick

House isn’t as big a mess as one would think {Compared to Ray’s old place/the silo and the motel room where Aiden lived before it got blown up}.The hacking related things,such as her computer,laptop,at least nine monitors,a ton of harddrives,etc,are in her room,and there’s no sign of anything of the sort outside of that.

Parents still oblivious,still don’t know she’s a hacker,still don’t know about her street racing ways.She prefers it that way….that’s why nobody sees the garage or bedroom.

Not a fan of attention,would rather keep a low profile and let her workpals get the fame.But of course,when there’s some bad stuff on DedSec,she won’t be afraid to show off her opinion and stick with the others

It’s great being sometimes-partners with Marcus

It’s also great going off on missions on your own

“Screw you,you son of a bitch.”

*Proceeds to flip person off as it’s the worst she’ll do before it switches to violence and knife threats*

“Viva La Resistance/Rebellion” in a really bad French accent

“You see this knife? It’s my knife. What I’m gonna do with it? Shove it down your throat if you don’t shut the hell up.”

“The name’s Dead Inside.How ya doin’?”

“You look like a terrorist.”

“I promise you,I am NOT a terrorist.”

“What are you then?”

“A ninja.”

“Are you some kind of weirdass goth person?”

“Nin-ja.”

She has abandonment issues,that’s why she prefers doing missions solo.Means she can’t lose anyone while on missions or get betrayed/left behind.

{Hm,guess who has those}

#whelp it's after midnight #won't be able to post the fallout stuff #got distracted with the new additions to my potted plants #it's a venus flytrap #and another lil cactus #watch dogs #watch dogs 2

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love-takes-work · 7 years ago

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Steven Universe Original Comic Series Believe in Steven! (Trade Paperback Volume 1, 2015)

A review and outline of the VOLUME ONE trade paperback, BELIEVE IN STEVEN!, containing issues 1 through 4 of the original run of comics, plus bonus material.

As with many comics originally released in individual issues, the publishers of the Steven Universe comics later released trade paperback compilations of the issues. Volume 1 contained issues 1 through 4 of the original series.

I reviewed the individual issues separately:

Steven Universe Original Comic Series #1 (2014)

Steven Universe Original Comic Series #2 (2014)

Steven Universe Original Comic Series #3 (2014)

Steven Universe Original Comic Series #4 (2014)

This volume contains all the content from the original 2014 comics, but it does NOT contain the content from the Greg Universe Special, and that's a bummer.

As a review note, I enjoyed these quite a lot, but they did not really capture for me what I love most about the show, and I think there are a few reasons for that. Notably, it's of course missing one of the most important aspects of the animation for me: the voices. That's a personal prejudice, but I just don't enjoy it as much without being able to hear the delivery and inflection from these characters, even though I did my best to imagine it.

But beyond that, just as a comic being accepted as a comic, I think the activity was sometimes hard to follow in action scenes and the stories are all in a weird limbo: there's no beginning where new readers can learn about Steven and the other Gems, and the little stories don't build to anything. They're all kind of like teeny filler episodes of the show. Which is, in a way, kinda cool--getting some zany or touching times with the Gems or Steven's family and friends without worrying about meta-plot is a nice break--but it also made the tension low. I would not recommend these books for people who are not already SU fans.

Still, the art by several different artists is lovely (I liked some more than others), and it's pretty clever how there were a couple longer stories and a couple shorter (or single-page) inserts in each issue.

And the variant cover gallery at the end of the volume was an unexpected treat! I own all the single issues of the comic, but I'm not quite obsessive enough (or rich enough) to collect all the different covers, so it was so sweet to have them in the trade. I liked getting to spend a little extra time with the characters in one-off adventures or sweet moments of their lives, especially Steven's scenes with his dad.

Besides the variant cover gallery, there was a bonus comic that was NOT in any of the individual issues, so I'll discuss that here:

"Steven Universe" by Rebecca Sugar (short, color):

Plot:

The Gems, after fighting a shapeshifter, bring home an obelisk. Which turns out to be the shapeshifter. It turns into one of Steven's comics, and to stop the Gem, they rip up all his comics, upsetting Steven immensely. They make it up to him by creating a new original comic together, which he loves.

Notable:

The comic-making roles were as follows: Pearl wrote the comic, Amethyst drew it, and Garnet colored it!

Here's a quick run-through of each issue's stories and variant covers.

ISSUE ONE contains the comics "Vacation," "Navigation Adventure," "Steven Chew-niverse," and "Birthday Bake-Off."

For issue 1 there were NINE covers included! 1. The Gems having a picnic on the temple's hand: by Bridget Underwood. 2. Steven and Connie in a bubble: by Andrea Fernandez. 3. Steven and Peedee playing video games while Connie reads and the Gems fight a Centipeetle: by Coleman Engle. 4. The Gems are working on Greg's hair. (Garnet's tying it in a bow, Pearl's braiding it, and Amethyst is standing by with scissors.) By Matt Cummings. 5. Pearl showing Steven how to sword-fight: by Steven Sugar. 6. San Diego Comic Con exclusive: Opal and Garnet are fighting while Steven lies on Lion reading comics: by Coleman Engle. 7. Baltimore con exclusive: The Gems are at a fair: by Amber Rogers (now Amber Cragg). 8. Galaxy nucleus: The Gems and Greg are pictured with Rose in the background: by Rebecca Sugar. 9. The Gems are watching a meteor shower with a telescope: by Grace Kraft.

ISSUE TWO contains the comics "Bike Race," "Night on the Beach," and "Lion Tamer."

For issue 2 there were THREE covers. 1. The Gems' midair fighting poses are shown against a pastel background: by George Caltsoudas. 2. The Gems are walking on a path in a forest of chopped-down pillars: by Felicia Choo. 3. The Gems are swimming with Amethyst supporting Steven on a surfboard: by Amber Rogers (now Amber Cragg).

ISSUE THREE contains the comics "Open Mic," "The Storage War," and "Disco."

For issue 3 there were THREE covers. 1. Garnet and Pearl are looking angry as Steven and Amethyst return to shore in a busted-up boat: by Amber Rogers (now Amber Cragg). 2. Steven and Connie are reading Lion-related comics: by Meg Gandy. 3. Steven and Connie are riding a roller coaster. Onion is in front of them. A four-armed Fusion is dancing in the background against shooting stars: by George Caltsoudas.

ISSUE FOUR contains the comics "Taxi," "Cookie Cat," "Where In Beach City," and "Doppelganger."

For issue 4 there were THREE covers.

1. Steven staring up at the clouds and all of them look like fast food: by Matt Cummings. 2. Garnet poses with electric circles around her hands: by Josceline Fenton. 3. The Gems are riding bikes downhill. Steven is in the lead with Amethyst behind him, and Pearl and Garnet are on a tandem bike with only Pearl pedaling: by Tiffany Ford.

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

#steven universe #steven universe comics #myblog

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junker-town · 5 years ago

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I rewatched Game 5 of the 2004 ALCS and it was magical

It took nearly six hours and 14 innings, but the Red Sox made it happen.

My heart sank when my baseball-loving kid asked when we were going to watch a game again. Then I remembered after the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series I bought the full set of games on DVD, including the entire American League Championship Series. Having never actually watched any of the discs, I vaguely remembered stashing them in a box that had somehow made its way from Philly to Boston by way of several Cambridge apartments.

Eureka! I still had them.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

We started with Game 4 of the ALCS against the Yankees because even in a quarantine I wouldn’t bother with the first three games. My kid soon became familiar with Papi, Manny, and the whole gang of Idiots. He promptly proved his Masshole bonafides, yelling, “Come on Millah!” when Kevin Millar came up to bat in the ninth against Mariano Rivera. For the record, neither my wife nor I have a Boston accent and he doesn’t either. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was a proud moment.

My wife, incidentally, couldn’t care less about baseball, but she has fond memories of staying up late with her friends, living and dying with every pitch. When Dave Roberts stole second, she screamed like it was happening in real time.

Game 4 was iconic, of course. The whole sequence belongs in a time capsule. Starting with Millar’s walk to Dave Roberts’ steal through Bill Mueller knocking the great Mariano Rivera off the mound with the game-tying single like he was Charlie Brown in a Peanuts strip. And then, much, much later, Big Papi’s home run. Game 6 was even more famous with the whole bloody sock thing, while Game 7 was just pure cathartic release.

But Game 5 — holy shit, Game 5. I had forgotten how magically insane it was. Over 14 innings and almost six hours, it was like watching a slow-motion nightmare unfold only to emerge in a blissy dream state where unicorns are real and it ain’t over ‘til Big Papi takes a swing.

To set the scene, Game 4 ended after midnight, meaning Game 5 took place literally the same day. Your starters were Mike Mussina and Pedro Martinez, making perhaps his last start in a Boston uniform.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

The Sox took an early 2-0 lead but couldn’t bust out a big inning against Mussina, who settled down and pitched a gem. Martinez was also dealing, but that pitch count was rising higher as we got to the sixth with the Sox leading, 2-1, which is when I started taking notes.

Martinez is getting up near 100 pitches. I forgot that after 100 pitches he turned into Ramiro Mendoza. Thankfully, Joe Buck is here to remind us. Tim McCarver thinks pitch counts are overrated and now I’m yelling at McCarver to shut the fuck up. (For future reference, STFUTM will serve as shorthand.)

Earlier, he told an incredibly random story about Trinidad Hubbard that made absolutely no sense. Hard to believe, but there really was a point when McCarver was an insightful announcer. Happens to all of them, eventually.

Martinez gets Bernie Williams to pop up, but Jorge Posada reaches on a quirky infield single and Ruben Sierra follows with another hit. I’ve seen this movie before. It ends badly. Tony Clark strikes out and now it’s up to Miguel Cairo. Martinez just hit Cairo to load the bases. 2004 me is yelling at Terry “Tito” Francona: “GET HIM OUTTA THERE, FRANCONA.”

Photo by Linda Cataffo/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Tito leaves Martinez in to pitch to Jeter and Buck notes that Jeter hasn’t put his stamp on this series yet. Oh God. The inside-out swing. The slicing line drive landing in right. Three runs are going to score. I’ll go to my grave saying Prime Nomar was better, but it would really help if Captain Intangibles stopped doing stuff like this.

Looked like Cairo may have been out at the plate, but it’s real close. You know what this game doesn’t have? Replay review. There were at least eight plays by my count that would have been subject to replay review and this game would still be playing if that was the case. We got along fine without reviewing every close play and I would like to return to that nebulous state of affairs when the world stops burning.

You know what else this game doesn’t have? Fans on cell phones. Everyone is hanging on every pitch and it’s beautiful. I know this because the broadcast keeps cutting away to the stands and I’ve seen the same woman clasping her hands in prayer between pitches a dozen times. Pretty sure I’ve seen her at the Fresh Pond Trader Joes.

LOL, Martinez plunked Alex Rodriguez just because he could. McCarver doesn’t like it. STFUTM. Now Gary Sheffield walks to load the bases. Um, Tito? I think you can go get him now. Francona leaves Martinez in and he gets Hideki Matsui to fly out. Good job, Tito.

The Yankees had a chance to break it open in the eighth, but Mike Timlin gets A-Rod to pop up with a runner on third and one out. This was A-Rod’s chance to be a True Yankee and he blew it. Shame, really.

On we go to the bottom of the eighth and it’s time for the WebMD update. Today’s injury is a broken heart. Thanks, guys. Really appreciate it.

Photo by Keith Torrie/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

Here comes Papi and he takes Tom Gordon over the Monster and off the Volvo sign. I miss the Volvo sign. Now Millar, who draws another walk. Dude could take a walk like nobody else. Roberts comes in to pinch run and Gordon throws over a half dozen times. He’s clearly rattled. It’s happening again.

We’ve officially reached the moment where Francona becomes a super genius. Everyone keeps expecting Roberts to steal second, but Tito calls for the hit-and-run and Trot Nixon executes it perfectly sending a line drive single to right center. God bless that dirtbag right fielder.

First and third, nobody out and Joe Torre calls on Rivera. Officially this will go down as a blown save when Jason Varitek lofts a sacrifice fly to center to tie the game, 4-4, but this is on Gordon. No Yankee ever scared me more than Mariano. Salute to him.

When McCarver gets what he considers a profound thought in his head, he slows his cadence for dramatic effect. Then he repeats himself like he’s delivering a dugout sermon from Whitey Herzog.

“After 169 games and eight innings, the Red Sox season comes down to one inning,” McCarver tells us before the ninth. “One inning.” Oh Tim, we’re just getting started.

Photo by Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Keith Foulke is on to pitch the ninth. He worked 2 ⅔ the night before and will pitch tonight and then again in Game 6. Foulke threw 14 shutout innings during the postseason and was never the same. He gave up his career for this postseason run and was never properly appreciated because he made some crack about fans the following season that caused everyone to turn on him. Here’s to you, Keith Foulke. I have no idea how you ever got anyone out, but you were nails.

In the ninth, Tony Clark hit a ball to right that somehow crawled up the short fence and landed in the stands. Had it stayed in play, Ruben Sierra would have scored and the game would have been over. Sixteen years later, the universe hates Boston and its run of championships, but in 2004, this was all strange and new. Kind of miss those days.

Bronson Arroyo, fresh off getting hammered in Game 3, strikes out A-Rod and Sheffield en route to a clean 10th inning. The strike zone, by the way, has been a tad inconsistent. It’s hard to tell because there’s no K-Zone or pitch tracking and again, that’s totally fine! Maybe we were better off not knowing everything all the time.

Even though I know how this is going to turn out, I keep expecting Papi to hit a home run every time he comes up to hit. Instead, he strikes out.

On we go to the 12th and it’s Tim Wakefield time. The knuckleballer’s normal catcher/binky is Doug Mirabelli, but Tito rides with Varitek, who has absolutely no idea how to catch a knuckleball. Super genius.

Cairo singles to left and Manny kicks it like only Manny can, allowing Cairo to get to second. My kid smacks his forehead and says, “Oh, Manny.” He doesn’t even know the half of it. Fortunately, Jeter flies out and so does A-Rod. Crisis averted.

The Sox have stopped hitting. This seems bad.

Photo by Rick Friedman/Corbis via Getty Images

Ah, the 13th. Nothing bad can happen here. Sheffield is swinging for the Mass Pike. He’s legitimately terrifying. Somehow, Wakefield strikes out Sheffield with a nasty knuckler that Varitek misplays into a passed ball. I remember thinking at the time, “This is how it’s going to happen. This is how they’re going to kill us.”

Two outs now and Matsui’s at first. Whoops, another passed ball. Now he’s at second. Intentional walk to Posada. Everyone at Fenway is nervous as hell. My wife comes into the room and starts watching. Now she’s nervous.

ANOTHER passed ball puts runners on second and third. Missed opportunity by McCarver to say something profoundly stupid like, “Johnny Pesky held the ball. Varitek can’t catch the ball.” Actually, that would have been pretty good.

Seriously though, one more miscue from Varitek and he’s Mike Torrez combined with Bill Buckner. Somehow, somehow, Wakefield strikes out Sierra and Varitek miraculously holds on. Fenway erupts. My wife cheers. “Mom, you know what’s going to happen,” my kid says but none of us care. This was the greatest game I ever saw and even now it doesn’t seem real.

Photo by Corey Sipkin/NY Daily News Archive via Getty Images

OK, now the 14th. Esteban Loiaza is on to pitch for the Yankees and he’s somehow become Whitey Ford. His cutter is filthy. Johnny Damon, who has done absolutely nothing this series, draws a walk.

Two outs and here’s Manny. I always loved Manny in these spots because a) he’s a great hitter and b) he’s completely impervious to pressure. God, this is a great at-bat. He’s fouling off quality pitches and laying off sliders just outside the zone. Manny gets his walk and trots to first like it’s a game in June against the Orioles. Here comes Papi.

It took 10 pitches for Ortiz to end Game 5 with a bloop single to center off the handle of the bat. He fought off nasty cutters and sent one about 420 feet screaming into right that went foul. My wife is tense. My kid is yelling, “Come on, Papi!” Finally, the big man does his thing and Johnny Damon comes home from second with the winning run.

Buck had a great call. “Damon can keep right on running to New York.” McCarver immediately blows it by saying, “He didn’t do it again, did he?” Dramatic pause. “He did.” Thanks, Tim. Oh, and STFU.

Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

By the way, there’s no off day because there was a rainout prior to Game 4. I have no idea how either one of these teams turned around and played again the next night, but I’d give anything for another marathon Red Sox-Yankee game right about now. Thank Papi, I still have the DVDs.

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bigyack-com · 5 years ago

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Golden Globes Nominations: What to Watch For

Will Netflix dominate with ‘The Irishman’ and ‘Marriage Story’?

LOS ANGELES — It is Netflix’s world. Hollywood just lives in it.When nominations for the 77th Golden Globes are announced Monday morning, Netflix is expected to dominate the film categories to a jaw-dropping degree. The streaming giant has only been a competitor on the film side of the Globes since 2016, when it received a sole nomination for Idris Elba in “Beasts of No Nation.” This time around, handicappers at Gold Derby, an entertainment honors site, predict that Netflix will receive at least 18 nominations in the 11 film categories alone.“The Irishman,” Martin Scorsese’s lavish gangster yarn, and “Marriage Story,” Noah Baumbach’s unnerving portrait of divorce, will almost certainly receive best drama nominations, with Fernando Meirelles’s Vatican succession dramedy “The Two Popes” possibly taking a third slot. Those Netflix movies and others from the service, including the Eddie Murphy vehicle “Dolemite Is My Name,” are expected to monopolize the actor, supporting actor and screenplay categories.Sprinkle in expected nominations for films from Amazon Prime Video (“The Report,” “Late Night”), and a cascade of TV entries from Netflix, Amazon, Apple TV Plus and possibly even Disney Plus (“The Mandalorian”), and it could be the year that streaming services and their seemingly bottomless checkbooks topple the Hollywood power structure: Out with the old.Or not.The group behind the Globes, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, has shed some of its reputation for eccentricity, but it still makes calculated choices — spreading nominations far and wide to ensure that every studio boss attends; honoring younger stars in an attempt to boost ratings. Members continue to split their top film prize into two categories, drama and comedy-musical, often in bewildering ways. Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood” will compete as a comedy, perhaps landing a nod alongside the Nazi-themed “Jojo Rabbit.” Because what is funnier than the Manson murders and the Holocaust? In another puzzler, especially for an awards contest adjudicated by journalists from overseas, foreign-language films are ineligible for the marquee best-picture categories. So don’t look for much guidance on the Oscar hopes for Lulu Wang’s “The Farewell,” one of the few bright spots in indie cinema this year ($17.6 million in ticket sales), or “Parasite,” Bong Joon Ho’s acclaimed tale of economic inequality ($18.3 million).In truth, the Globes do not predict much. The press association only has about 90 voting members; roughly 9,000 film industry professionals vote on the Academy Awards. The top winning films at the Globes have only gone on to win the Oscar for best picture 50 percent of the time over the last decade. (They matched last year, however. “Green Book” was the big winner at both ceremonies.)NBC will broadcast the Globes on Jan. 5. Organizers decided to bring back the British comedian Ricky Gervais for a fifth time to host. Here are five more things to consider before Globes nominations are unveiled starting at 8 a.m. Eastern time.

The nominations could give films a shot in the arm.

The Globes are mostly coveted as marketing tools. Studio advertising executives will immediately roll out new TV commercials and digital billboards based on the nominations. Multiple nods for Greta Gerwig’s “Little Women” could help Sony generate interest in the film’s Christmas Day release in theaters. Ditto for Clint Eastwood’s “Richard Jewell,” which looks at the bombing at the 1996 Olympics and arrives from Warner Bros. on Friday.As a stop on the road to the Oscars, the Globes could focus fresh attention on Taron Egerton, who seemed like a lock for the best actor race in the first half of the year for his risk-taking performance as Elton John in “Rocketman.” But now that heavy hitters like Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro have entered the fray, he finds himself in the middle of the pack. Similarly, Globe voters could push Cynthia Erivo (“Harriet”), Alfre Woodard (“Clemency”) and Lupita Nyong’o (“Us”) deeper into the Oscar conversation.

The male acting races will be competitive.

Ahh, the year of the man. It seems strange given the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements.But take a look at this year’s films. The number of notable male performances is rather staggering. Joaquin Phoenix (“Joker”), De Niro (“The Irishman”) and Adam Driver (“Marriage Story”) are favorites for best actor in a drama, but where does that leave Antonio Banderas (“Pain and Glory”), Jonathan Pryce (“The Two Popes”), Adam Sandler (“Uncut Gems”), Christian Bale (“Ford v Ferrari”) and Paul Walter Hauser (“Richard Jewell”)? Best actor in a comedy or musical is only slightly less competitive. Murphy is a lock for a nomination for his outrageous “Dolemite” performance, as is DiCaprio (“Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood”). Egerton (“Rocketman”) should nab a nod. Vying for the remaining two slots are Daniel Craig (“Knives Out”), Himesh Patel (“Yesterday”), Shia LaBeouf (“The Peanut Butter Falcon”) and Roman Griffin Davis, the young “Jojo Rabbit” star.

Get ready to scratch your head over the best comedy and best drama categories.

Remember when the press association deemed the Matt Damon stranded-in-space odyssey “The Martian” a comedy? This kind of thing happens when studios try to game the system, submitting films and stars in categories sized up as more winnable. The press association received so much ridicule when “The Martian” was named best comedy in 2016 that members amended the rules to state that “dramas with comedic overtones should be entered as dramas.”That didn’t stop A24 from submitting its jeweler thriller “Uncut Gems” as a comedy this year. The press association bounced it to the drama group. But Sony’s submission of “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood” as a comedy was allowed to stand.

A nomination for ‘Cats’ could be a boon for the movie.

“Cats,” set for release by Universal on Dec. 20, should be a shoo-in for best comedy or musical. But the filmmakers have been scrambling to finish the movie … err, make the fur visual effects less traumatic than they were in that infamous trailer. To make the movie eligible for consideration, Universal showed voters a rough version last week.Does the foreign press association go out on a limb and include “Cats” in the (meow) mix? It could certainly boost ratings to have Taylor Swift walking the red carpet, even if she leaves her Bombalurina tail at home. But voters could also be opening themselves up to disparagement.

The TV contenders include Baby Yoda.

The big question in the television categories is whether two new streaming services, Disney Plus and Apple TV Plus, can break into the best drama race.Globes voters have never been very keen on the “Star Wars” franchise, but Disney Plus hit a critical and cultural nerve last month with “The Mandalorian,” which introduced Baby Yoda. Apple’s centerpiece series, “The Morning Show,” received middling reviews from most critics, but there has recently been a backlash to the backlash. The soap, which stars Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon, has a 94 percent approval rating among Rotten Tomatoes users.Globes voters have a habit of falling in love with new shows — they like to be seen as cultural arbiters — but more established series may be impossible to resist. “Succession” wrapped up its rapturously reviewed second season on HBO in October. “Game of Thrones” has never won best drama at the Globes — it has won a record-tying four times at the Emmys — and it will have one final Globes shot this year. “The Crown,” which won best drama at the Globes in 2017 and has adroitly reimagined itself with a new cast, is also a favorite. And don’t count out “Killing Eve,” “Big Little Lies” or “Pose.”On the comedy front, Amazon’s “Fleabag” and its creator and star, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, are the heavy favorites. The show already won big at the September Emmys ceremony. Not that many people noticed: the Emmys hit a new ratings low, attracting just 6.9 million viewers. Honoring “Fleabag” would also be a redemption move for Globes voters; last time around they inexplicably named “The Kominsky Method” best comedy.Best actress in a drama is another category to keep an eye on. It could shape up as a battle of the titans: the Oscar winners Olivia Colman (“The Crown”) and Nicole Kidman (“Big Little Lies”), the Emmy winner Jodie Comer (“Killing Eve”), the singer-actress Zendaya (HBO’s druggie “Euphoria”) and Aniston, who last won a Globe in 2003 for “Friends.”John Koblin contributed reporting from New York. Source link Read the full article

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feywildatheart · 7 years ago

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Nenîth,

We don’t have any more answers than we did when I wrote my last letter, and it’s only been a day, and of course you’ll get all these together once we’re back in town so I suppose it’s all the same to you. But we have stopped for a few moments and the gods only know what we’re about to walk into, so it seemed prudent to take this time to write to you again.

We did end up spending the night on the far side of the moat. I think once we stopped moving, all of us decided that we had little interest in starting up again. We talked a while, or at least Elyn tried to get us to, but I was hurting and worn through and did little good at keeping the conversation going. Elyn, poor thing, seemed worried about spiders during the night, though it seemed to me that we stood a far greater chance of the water weird deciding to come back for a second shot at us. And then Pika declared the caves a Great Place, which Elyn and I both took some umbrage with because we certainly hadn’t been enjoying ourselves so far. But once Pika started talking about all the power in that place, Elyn started fretting about gods, too, and whether or not we might be welcome where we were.

That seemed as baseless a worry to me as the spiders did, and Pika seemed to agree. I pointed out that if we were making our way into a place that someone didn’t want us to be, they’d have simply pulled up a wall or shut a door to keep people out, instead of laying out puzzles. Puzzles are meant to be solved.

I don’t think that reassured Elyn as much as it should have, though. It only made her worry about what might befall us if we failed one of the tests. She said we hadn’t yet, but I pointed out that her first attempt to figure things out with the bottle and the glyph hadn’t been the right answer, and nothing bad had happened at all.

She let it pass after that, though I don’t think it’s because we convinced her, and I didn’t have the wherewithal to persist in it. We all took our turns keep watching through the night, just in case of spiders or water weirds, and the others were kind enough to let me take the last watch so I could get a full night’s uninterrupted sleep, since I was still wounded and sore from the fight in the water. It did mean I had to wake earlier than I might have liked, but I’m used enough to doing that in the Feywild. Everything was quiet through the night, in any case, and in the morning we set ourselves to inspecting the stone and the glass that we’d seen from the other side of the water.

The stone seemed naturally formed, and the glass bowl on top clear and empty, and nearby was a pool of perfectly clear water, with rocks on the bottom that had bits in them that glinted and shone with reflected light. It was lovely and unexpected and eerie enough to remind me of home.

The rock had a glyph carved on its surface, but it was made too small to make out clearly. But everything so far has been puzzles (well, and the water weird, which was just a fight, but even so), so it only took a moment for me to realize that if we filled the bowl with the water from the pool, the curve of the glass might magnify the glyph and help us read it more easily.

For all the good that did me, because it’s not as though we’ve made extensive study of glyphs or arcane magics in the Feywild. But now that she was able to see it, Pika recognized the glyph as a symbol for opening. She tried to trace the glyph in the water, which seemed magical now that we had put it in the bowl, and while that didn’t do anything to reveal our next steps to us, it did, it turned out, heal a cut on her finger while we watched.

While we were messing about with that Squirt sniffed around and found a place in the rock wall where there was a bit of a draft and so, we presumed, an opening beyond in which we could continue our puzzle. Pika tried instead using the water to draw the glyph on the wall, and the solid stone crumbled and fell away like sand, revealing a passage beyond.

Before we continued, I begged an empty potion bottle from one of the others and ran back to fill it with the water from the bowl. It seemed prudent, since it had healed Pika’s cut so easily, and we had no idea what sort of creatures or peril might wait ahead of us.

That done, we continued on and found ourselves standing at the shore of a shallow pool with a large rock in the middle, jutting up and wet from what seemed to be a very impressive high tide. We could make out a light glowing from the top of the rock, which seemed to indicate clear enough that that was where we needed to be. Still, our experience with the moat and the water weird made us cautious, and so did the trick with the rope again, tying it about my waist and leaving the end with Elyn and Pika on the shore while I waded out, to make sure that the passage was safe.

The water deepened up to chest-height, but then leveled out and seemed safe enough to ford across. But when I was halfway to the rock, I saw a shape in the water that emerged and proved to be an otter. She seemed curious and friendly, so I headed in her direction to ask her more about this place, and what might await us in it.

She was one of the sweetest, darlingest creatures I’ve yet to speak to, except perhaps Gwynne, and she told me her name was Iolen and answered my questions as best she could, though perhaps not as comprehensively as I might have liked. But really, one can’t expect the beasts of the world to preoccupy themselves with the affairs of men overmuch — she knew that a man came to the rock sometimes, and went up to the top, though she couldn’t say whether it was the same person every time, or how often they came, except that it wasn’t every low tide. When I asked her about any dangers that might lurk in the pool, though, the worst she had to warn us about was crabs (and that they might bite our nose — you see, I told you she was the darlingest). Also! She gave me a mussel as a gift, and so I cast about in the pool until I found a shiny rock to gift her in return, which she seemed well pleased by. And so I thanked her for her assistance and warned her about my friends and about Squirt, and made my way back to where the others could see me, since Elyn had been calling for me for a few minutes and seemed to be growing increasingly alarmed.

As soon as I mentioned Iolen, of course Pika went charging out to meet her, sending up a great spray of water. She really does like animals better than she likes us, I can hardly even doubt it now. I left her to it, and continued on to the big rock in the middle of the pool, and when I’d reached it I braced myself as best I could and took hold of the rope and returned the favor for Elyn, while she made her way across to me. Eventually Pika pried herself away from Iolen’s company and joined us, and after a brief moment of discussion we decided that I would ascend the rock first, and take the rope up with me, so that the others might use it to help them as they climbed up after.

Elyn had warned us that this kind of rock was terribly slippery when wet, but, well, I suppose that growing up clambering around on the Feywild’s moss-slick trees was good for something, because I made it up to the top easily, and spared only a glance to ensure that no immediate threats awaited us up there before finding a spot to brace myself against, and lowering the rope for the others to climb.

Elyn and Pika, unfortunately, struggled rather more than I did, but with the rope to cling to they made it up eventually, though not without a few scraped palms and knees between the two of them. Squirt had it the easiest of all of us and just blinked up to the top with me, and once we were all assembled we were able to turn our attention to what awaited us now that we’d reached the summit.

There was a half-ring of flames around the back edge of the stone, and laid out upon its surface, a game of Telide already set up and waiting for players, which I was excited to see. I don’t think Elyn or Pika were familiar with the game (and I suppose they wouldn’t be, given it’s more a halfling pasttime), but they caught on to the idea of it readily enough once I explained it, and the three of us settled down around the game board that had been carved into the rock, and set ourselves to the puzzle.

We ran into a few hiccups along the way, but were able to recognize our mistakes and correct them before they compounded too greatly, and between the three of us we were able to get the board completed. Once we had, we found ourselves transported to a new room all at once, instead of a passage opening for us to carry ourselves through as had happened all the other times previously.

This next room contained a circle of twelve columns, each with a differently-colored orb atop it, and in the middle of the floor was a glyph the others told me was for activation. With a little bit of magic aimed into the glyph, a series of musical notes sounded throughout the room, and once we realized that we could coax the orbs to give off a single note, Elyn leaped into action scrambling about, listening to the orbs’ tones and the sequence of notes again and again, and swapping the positions of the orbs around upon the pillars.

I might be able to climb slick rocks and wade into treacherous waters and make friends with otters, but I haven’t the innate music sense that Elyn does, and it took me rather longer to realize what she was about, and why. I did what I could to help her, once I caught on, but it was Elyn who carried us through that puzzle, getting everything sorted so the orbs were organized from the lowest note to the highest.

Once we’d done that, another passage opened up for us, and a wave of magic washed over us that healed up the scrapes and cuts that Elyn and Pika had taken trying to scramble up the rock — more proof, as far as I’m concerned, that whatever set these puzzles out wouldn’t bear us any ill will for solving them. Why heal us, if we were unwelcome interlopers? Elyn seemed little reassured by that observation, though.

Through the doorway, we found a broad, sandy expanse, and a pile of rocks, and a water elemental who seemed ready and willing to challenge us if we approached the stones. Pika tried to speak to it, but got no response, and I tried in Sylvan on the chance that perhaps it was a fey creature, but with no greater success. Pika tried to show it respect and bow to it, but it cared little for that, and seemed to indicate that it wanted us to fight it. It was just another way of proving ourselves, I suppose, and so with little other option apparently at hand, we all somewhat reluctantly drew our weapons and began to fight the elemental.

—Well, and I’ve just had a message from Cylla asking if I’m dead, the very moment I set foot into town, and so now I’ve spent a whole evening writing you both reassuring messages when I could’ve been telling you about the water elemental instead. But gods forbid I make either of you think I’m dead again, when I’m only wordy, so I suppose you’ll have to content yourselves with the abridged version, and you’ve only yourselves to blame for it.

(Well, Darna, I suppose you have Cylla to blame for it, but that’s neither here nor there.)

In any case, the long and short of it is we fought the elemental, and we fought well (obviously, or I wouldn’t be writing this letter to you now, and Cylla would really be working herself into a state). We were on sand, rather than in the water, which certainly helped, as at least we could see the thing we were aiming at. And while Elyn and Pika got smothered a few times, which certainly wasn’t pleasant, I was glad not to have to worry about being drowned this time around, though poor Squirt got a soaking that startled him so badly he blinked back behind me, like he was a puppy all over again. The hardest part of the fight, though, was maneuvering around Elyn and Pika, who I think must not be accustomed to fighting with others, or to fighting with archers, because it seemed as though every time a space opened up in which I could get line of sight on the thing, one or the other would inevitably move to block my way before I could get an arrow loosed. You’d think they’d want me to be able to shoot at the thing currently trying to drown them, but I suppose it takes all kinds.

We didn’t kill the elemental, only fought until I suppose it had deemed us worthy of proceeding, and then it backed off and echoed Pika’s bow back to us. And then it sank down into the sand and we were left with a jumbled pile of rocks that we had to sort through and figure out what to do with. Pika and Elyn realized we needed to assemble an archway with them, and then once we’d figured out where everything belonged, then we had to erect the archway, which was quite a challenge, considering the size of all three of us. Even Squirt tried to help, and thank goodness, because my arms were as limp as creeper vines after hauling the stones around in the first place. But we managed it between the four of us, eventually, and once it was standing upright, the air beneath it shimmered and wavered and turned to a portal, like the fey’s fairy rings though at least this one we knew was there, and could steel ourselves before we walked through it.

We found ourselves in another cavern, this one covered in moss in many places and filled with the echoes of dripping water. And before us came a gnome, or what seemed to be a gnome, all decked out in patterned, embroidered robes and beads in their hair, and they greeted us and Elyn made our introductions while I stood there tongue tied. Pika told me later that she didn’t think I recognized the enormity of who, or rather I suppose what, I stood before, but she gives me too little credit. I grew up in the shadow of the fey, I know what it feels like to stand before a creature of great power. I know enough to hold my tongue. (Sometimes. Most of the time. You may both stop laughing at me, if you please, Squirt was an exception and you know it.)

But the point is, for all that I helped Elyn give Pika a hard time about the great-place comment, I do know when I’m standing before a great being, and to try to compose myself, and in the end, isn’t that what’s important? Does it really matter if it’s a fey queen or — as it turned out — a deity made manifest before me?

…And you know, this letter has already run long enough, and there’s much left to say, and no good place to pause in the telling. So I’ll stop here, and send this while I can, so I don’t wake up to another fretful letter from you two, and if you don’t like the suspense then perhaps next time you’ll wait more than three days before deciding I must have died.

(Three days! Honestly. It’s like I’m ten again, and having to come back from playing to check in every candlemark, lest you start bellowing my name through the whole of the Feywild.)

I’ll tell you the rest as soon as I can, I promise. We’ll have a few days on-ship back to Mir, and then who knows how long on Mir itself, so it should come soon. And barring disaster, I’ll have LICD signal either way, so please, no histrionics. If at any point you find yourselves lonely and wondering if I miss you, if I’m thinking of you, if I still love you with all of my heart — just know that the answer is always yes.

Love,

Maliah

#in character

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