#TW Period-Typical Age Gap

[inevitablemoment]

Samlan September Day 9 & 10 - Historical AU // Romantic Keepsake

Word Count: 788

Warnings: Period-typical age gap (ten year age gap; it's Sam's eighteenth birthday in this fic)

Fandom: Law & Order

Pairings: Nolan Price x Samantha Maroun

Okay, I wasn't planning on combining days, but as I was writing this, it just seemed to fit either way.

This AU is set in the 1880s, and is mainly inspired by Laura and Almanzo from Little House on the Prairie. In fact, I took some dialogue verbatim from the show.

Enjoy!

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Samantha had been teaching since the fall, and she had found it utterly terrifying. Most of the students were taller than she was, and she had to sleep away from home for the first time. The family she was staying with were not friendly in any use of the word. The father was condescending with a quick temper, while the mother was tyrannical and seemed to dislike her from the moment Samantha had dared to step foot in her house.

But, every Friday-- no matter what the weather-- Nolan Pride would arrive at the school to take Samantha home for the weekend in his father's two-horse buggy.

She had known Nolan ever since his sister had come to town as the new teacher, and she had fallen for him just from her first sight of him. He was certainly a farm boy, as she could tell from the calluses on his hands, but he was intelligent and a great conversationalist. She enjoyed his company, and he had a calmness about him that was a welcome change of pace from the troublemakers that she dealt with during the week.

Her father was reluctant to approve, however. Nolan was twenty-eight, while Samantha was turning eighteen. He did think that Nolan was a good man, but the gap of ten years was enough to make him hesitate, if not the idea of his daughter growing up.

Samantha walked through the crowd of dancing people in the main room of the town restaurant, which was decorated with red paper hearts. She entered the empty kitchen; before she could even see it, the harsh February chill told her that the back door was open. She easily made out Nolan's silhouette, sitting on the back porch of the restaurant deep in thought. She smiled as she maneuvered her way through the kitchen, careful not to get any flour or food debris on her new blue dress, to get to him.

As she reached the opened back door, she nervously began to play with her hands.

"Hi," she greeted softly.

Nolan slowly looked up at her, his expression one of surprise and shock, though he echoed just as softly, "Hi."

His eyes locked with hers, and she felt that familiar jolt in her stomach.

"I didn't think you were going to be here tonight," he confessed.

"Why not?" Samantha asked, tilting her head ever so slightly. "Didn't you think anyone else would bring me?"

Nolan looked away from her, embarrassed. "I didn't mean that. I-- I don't know what I mean."

"It's alright-- I'm not angry with you," Samantha assured him.

Inside, she could hear the song ending, and the band starting up a new waltz. Slowly, she began to take closer steps towards him and sat down next to him. The temperature of her body seem to fluctuate between below the current weather and a comforting, fireplace-like warmth when she realized how close they were.

If Amanda's mother saw this, she would turn purple from how scandalized she would be! Samantha thought to herself, amused.

Both Nolan and Samantha looked away from each other, looking down into their laps. But they quickly looked back up at each other, offering awkward but caring smiles.

"Who did you come with?" Nolan asked.

Samantha bit back a laugh. "My father."

Nolan, however, couldn't help but laugh. "I came with my sister."

"I know," Samantha told him.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Nolan looked away again.

"Since we're both here..." he began, his voice quiet in the way it would be when he was unsure of how one would react to his words. "Maybe I could, kind of, be your escort."

Samantha's smiled widened a bit at his suggestion. "You may."

Nolan picked up a package wrapped in paper depicting red roses and laid it in her lap. "I didn't know if you would be here or not, but I brought your present anyway... just in case."

Samantha began to untie the ribbon and opened the package, revealing a folded-up shawl. The shawl was a muslin fabric, but various flowers of blues and pinks and yellows were painted on with care.

"It's beautiful..."

She unfolded the shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders. She looked back up into Nolan's eyes, not daring to look away.

"It's like I'm wearing your colors," she said.

"I hope so," he said.

They leaned in closer to each other, letting their instincts take over as their lips connected tenderly. They separated when they realized that the band was playing a new song already that Samantha recognized as "Beautiful Dreamer."

"How would you like to dance with the teacher?" she asked him.

"I'd love to," he answered.

[tiredsunrisesmeta]

Dead Dove and Dark Heir: An Analysis

TW// incest, age gap relationships

I do think Dark Heir is a bit more subversive than most other YA titles. Obviously, we have the BDSM coded relationship between Will/Sarcean & James/Anharion. But I think it goes further than that because the books don't shy away from more taboo things in the way a lot of recent YA titles tend to. Namely, incest and age gap relations. Furthermore, I think its willingness to engage with these topics with nuance adds to the depth of its chatacters.

For example, Will and Katherine. We need to talk about them, lol. I think whether they're actually blood related or not is ultimately irrelevant because of one detail. Katherine looks a lot like the Lady, and the Lady looks a lot like Will's mother, Eleanor. So, from the very beginning, Will pursues someone who looks like his mother, or the woman who raised him at the very least (albeit abusively). He has ulterior motives for doing so, but there's no doubt he felt an attraction to Katherine, and Katherine definitely felt attraction for him. It's all very Freudian. And I think how Dark Heir handles this complicated blend of romantic attraction & familial connection is what sets it apart from some other YA works. It refuses to draw definitive lines between these two feelings within Will. Will doesn't even feel especially disgusted or anguished by his flirtation of someone who turned out to be his sister. He probably suspected it as he was flirting with her. It's weird, but one can say it's the natural consequence of Will being his own person but also being Sarcean at the same time. Will doesn't feel or react normally to these tangled up feelings because he's not normal.

Now for age gaps. There's a lot of examples, but the main ones are Tom & Devon, James & Simon, Will & Howell, Cyprian & Ettore, Visander & Sarcean. The books frame James and Simon very negatively. It was abuse, period even though Simon was never able to have James become his lover. But the way characters like Jannick and Cyprian, following his father's example, and some other Stewards frame it doesn't acknowledge the abuse & instead blames & shames James for the supposed "relationship." This is horrible in this case, of course, but I think it speaks to a relatively blasé, maybe even period typical view of relationships between teens/young men & older men that goes on to affect & complicate every relationship/interaction listed above, some in ways different than to how it affects James & Simon. But I will come back to James at the end of this, so put a pin in that.

With Tom & Devon, I don't think the book has especially condemned it or portrayed it as inherently abusive. Tom is an adult for one. But Devon is undoubtedly thousands of years older than him. There's an element of Devon not telling Tom everything that I think is hinted at. At the end of Dark Heir, Violet thinks that Tom is strangely ignorant about the bigger picture of what's going on. He only knows what he learned from his Dad & Sinclair. At least Violet thinks so. It makes one wonder why he doesn't seem to know more even though he's dating someone who knows so much more than even Sinclair. Perhaps this is a consequence of the age gap between Tom and Devon. I don't particularly think this must mean Devon is abusive for dating Tom. And he's not, imo, comparable to the Regent from Captive Prince. But I think Devon's walls are up, and it maybe benefits him to keep Tom in the dark about all that Devon knows. This is part of a pattern that these books follow when it comes to most of their age gap relationships. They're not summarily condemned, but rather they're complicated, and their dubious, more negative qualities are subtly hinted at.

Visander and Sarcean is one such complicated age gap relationship. Upon hearing about Will from Elizabeth, Visander thinks, "This time I am the man and you are the youth." Near the end of the book when Visander confronts Will he says, "You're the same age now as I was when you killed my family." So it appears that when Sarcean slept with Visander, Sarcean was an adult, and Visander was a young man of about 17. When Visander is first introduced in the story, Sarcean thinks of him as a "young man" and a "young guard" and a possible "dalliance, to pass the time." This imbalance is only enhanced when Sarcean later thinks of Visander as "a trifling, easy to fool." Visander was a youth in love, and Sarcean was a man looking for easy amusement. Visander later feels betrayed by Sarcean for apparently killing his family. He emphasizes that he had trusted Sarcean. Their age gap adds an uncomfortable layer to Sarcean's treatment of Visander and how it might have contributed to Visander's lasting hatred of him. A hatred that, in turn, has Visander trying to kill Will, or the Dark King as a youth, as Visander sees it. Their age gap has now been reversed, and taking advantage of Will's youth, much like Sarcean took advantage of Visander's youth, he will take this opportunity to kill Will. It's like a cycle. Again, the book does not explicitly go out of its way to condemn Sarcean sleeping with a young Visander. It simply adds complications and nuance to the characters & their relationship that the reader must interpret themselves.

Will and Captain Howell's interactions are similarly ambivalent and complicated. Will knowingly initiates the flirting between them, and he doesn't seem particularly afraid of Captain Howell's advances. But their power dynamic is switched when Will uses his power to control Howell. The scene plays out like a scene of sexual exploration and discovery. Will tells Howell "No, don't fight it, just let me", he says "you're mine already", and when Howell calls him Master will thinks "Yes" as "with a lurch, he was inside Captain Howell." In many ways, it mirrors the scene where James pushes his magic into Will to release Will's magic. The sexual subtext is inescapable. But Will taking control of Howell is framed as feeling empowering to Will. Will effectively flips the power script of a young man and an older man in a sexual encounter, which brings awareness to the fact that the script usually doesn't play out like this. Their interaction is further complicated when James sees Howell and Will and freaks out. I'll come back to this...

The last significant age gap "relationship" is Cyprian with Ettore. This relationship is more subtle with its sexual subtext, but it's there. Ettore teases & pokes at Cyprian. We later learn this is because Ettore is himself a Steward, and he sees himself and his past flaws in Cyprian. But some of Ettore's teasing takes on a sexual nature. First, when his men ask Cyprian for a kiss and Ettore himself says, "Rethinking that kiss?" Then, when Ettore invites Cyprian to watch him have sex with a prostitute, who he has dressed in a Steward's tunic. After, Ettore emerging from the bedroom soon after Cyprian, "ostentatiously tucking in his shirt" makes Cyprian flush because of the implications Ettore undoubtedly wanted to illicit. This teasing and mockery come to head when Ettore asks Cyprian to kneel and beg him for help. Cyprian acquiesces despite the burning humiliation of it. This is when James goes to Cyprian and tells him he didn't like watching Cyprian kneeling for Ettore.

James says it's because he doesn't like being reminded that Stewards can be selfless, but I think it goes deeper than that and connects with James's reaction to Will and Howell. James freaks out when he sees Will and Howell holding on to each other. He asks Will if Howell hurt him. James's fear here can easily be interpreted as a remnant of his experiences with Simon. James has been hurt & taken advantage of (nearly sexually) by an older man. So when he sees Will and Howell, his mind goes to the worst possibility first. Similarly, I would argue that James's discomfort with watching Cyprian kneeling for Ettore is similarly connected to his trauma with Simon & Sinclair. This connection is supported when, later in the book, as Sinclair tries to collar James, Sinclair orders James to kneel.

These are some of the ways Dark Heir uses more subversive and taboo subjects to add depth and subtext to its world and chatacters, without forcing the readers to see these subjects in only one way. The series, much like Pacat's other work, doesn't shy away from so-called Dead Dove subject matter. And I think that's a strength of the series.

[hadescabin]

tw// grooming i dont go there anymore but finding out how tigerheartstar fans are harassing ppl for pointing out how he groomed dovewing is so hilariously pathetic because it reminds me of how this one person vagued me in response to my tigerdove is grooming post and kept using the craziest possible ways to excuse it. "tigerheart was immature for his age because he grew up during a fucked up period of ShadowClan so its okay that he was dating dovepaw because they had the same maturity levels as each other!" this is going to sound crazy but an adult going after a young teenager is going to be inherently grooming no matter how "immature" the adult is. an immature adult is still going to hold more life experiences than a child and that'll put them in a significantly higher position of power every time no matter how you look at it. its the same vein of how groomers will use "you're mature for your age!" to excuse going after younger kids. due to this him mistreating dovewing isnt an example of "relationships having their ups and downs" but rather an adult preying on a teenager to pressure/manipulate them into doing what they want. (you cant even call this an oots thing, he still does that in their relationship. she has little to no autonomy outside of tigerheart since he pressured her into coming back to the clans LOL). "well the cat years to human years calculator dont show them as having as much of an age gap! (yes this really happened)" this is going to sound crazy but the cat to human years arent going to represent the cats on a 1:1 scale. we know how old these characters are based off of how theyre written and what the story presents them as. like how kits are typically meant to represent young children, apprentices are typically supposed to be teenagers going through middle/highschool. though i wouldnt entirely call this a strong source, kate cary had (or still has) a thing called blogclan and you can apply to be put on the allegiances. what rank you get is determined by what age/grade youre in and if i remember correctly apprentices are middle and highschool aged. i feel like this should be considered a bit of proof that the writers view apprentices as teenagers and write them as such. (its also important to note that apprentices are consistently written as being immature). tldr: fuck your cat year calculators apprentices are teenagers and warriors are adults. he went after her when she was newly apprenticed leaving her the equivalent of 13 years old AT BEST.

now does this mean i think people who like tigerheart support grooming? absolutely not. coming from someone who likes crowfeather (who is also a shitty person in canon) who you like doesnt determine your viewpoints. its the way you go about them does. acknowledge that theyre terrible people and get used to the fact that people will not like them because of it LOL.

[chaotic-jjk-fiction]

Selfish

Teacher Gojo Satoru x Student Reader x Teacher Getou Suguru 

Read Part Two here

Read Part There here

TW: Pregnancy, Yandere themes, Talk of an abortion, Teacher x student, Anal sex, Double penetration, Gaslighting, Age gap

In this fic, Getou decided to stay and become a teacher along side Gojo.

“Sensei” you whimpered. You were completely overwhelmed by the pleasure you were feeling from the two men fucking you stupid. You knew your situation was morally wrong on every level, but it didn’t mean you were enjoying the way your teachers made you cum over and over again.

It was hard to believe that you were in the position you were. You couldn’t deny that you had a slight crush on Getou Suguru and Gojo Satoru, but you never imagined that they would even reciprocate the feelings. You had let it slip that you found the two of them cute during a late-night conversation with your fellow student, and one of them must have told them because a few weeks later the two of them cornered you and told you how naughty of you it was to think of them that way. Your cheeks had burned with embarrassment, and you were ashamed as you remember how wet you were after the encounter. From that moment on, Getou and Gojo had become very touchy with you, at first you liked it, but after a little while, you realized just how weird it was. They were your teachers, they weren’t supposed to touch you like this, and yet you made no effort to stop them.      

So here you were, sitting on Getou’s lap, his cock in your ass, and Gojo pounding into your core. The immense stimulation from having both of your holes stuffed with their cocks was making you drool, Getou used his thumb to wipe it off of the corner of your mouth chuckling. 

“Is our little student so overwhelmed she can’t even keep herself together” he cooed. Slowly picking up the pace of his thrusts, Gojo followed and also picked up his pace to match Getou. The feeling of each other’s cock rubbing through your pelvic floor was causing the two of them to near their climax’s. Gojo leaned in to press a kiss against Getou’s lips before latching onto your collar bone and leaving a trail of hickies. You moaned, your head falling back against Getou’s chest. You felt Gojo’s warm seed spilling into you and Getou soon followed, letting his cum paint your insides. The two of them pulled out and Getou laid back, still holding you to his chest. Gojo cuddled up to Getou’s side, his head on Getou’s shoulder and arm around your middle. 

“You did so well little one” Getou praised as he stroked your hair “I know you must be tired, it’s ok to fall asleep.” You allowed yourself to give in to the exhaustion and fell asleep on top of him, Gojo’s arm wrapping tighter around your waist. This became a routine for you. After a difficult mission or such, the two of them would “reward” you with sex and you would typically end up spending the night with them after. One night Gojo even snuck into your room just to cuddle with you because Getou was gone. You still felt wrong about it, but you didn’t know how to make it stop. They were your superiors in every way and if you told someone you were sure that they wouldn’t believe you, so you let it continue. 

You woke up one morning, an overwhelming feeling of nausea came over you, and you ran to the restroom to throw up the contents of your stomach. After you had finished, you realized you hadn’t gotten your period yet and you panicked. You knew that you had to take a pregnancy test to confirm your fears, so you went out to the convinces store without telling anyone. You didn’t want Getou, Gojo, or anyone for that matter, coming with you. You purchased the test and proceed to take it in the bathroom of the store. You had laid it face down on the sink, the three minutes you had to wait were agonizing, and you were scared to face the results. Now you wished you had brought a friend who could look at it for you, but no, you had to do this yourself. 

The time on your phone beeped, and you turned it off. Your three minutes were up, all you had to now was flip over the test and see your results. You took a deep breath and picked up the stick, closing your eyes before turning it over in your hands so that when you opened your eyes you would come face to face with the truth. You drew in one last shaky breath before opening your eyes. Positive. A sob left your lips as you crumpled to the floor. How could this of happened? You were on birth control and everything, and yet here you were holding a positive pregnancy test. What were you going to do, how would Gojo and Getou react, could you even tell them? No, you decided. You couldn’t tell anyone about this. You knew what you had to do, as much as it pained you to think about, you needed an abortion. It was the only way to make sure that no one was negatively affected. 

You made an appointment at a clinic online after you got back to school. The date was set a little less than two weeks away so you were going to have to hide this until then. You were also going to have to come up with an excuse for the day of your appointment. 

You were able to control your nausea pretty well so that had been a weight off your shoulders. You blamed your pain on your period for the first few days, but soon that excuse expired and you just had to do your best to pretend you were ok. Finally, the day of your procedure had and you told everyone you were going to meet a family member for coffee at a café, before hopping in a cab and driving to the clinic. You mentally prepared yourself and walked into the clinic. They handed you a clipboard of paperwork for you to fill out and you took a seat in the far corner of the waiting room. Once you were done filling out all the forms, you checked over everything once more to make sure you hadn’t forgotten anything before proceeding to stand up. You were met with two chests, you froze and slowly looked up only to be met by the faces of Getou and Gojo, their expression was one that you had never seen before. They looked so somber and almost angry it scared you. Gojo grabbed the clipboard out of your hands and scanned the first page before flipping through the rest of them 

“So you really were going to terminate the pregnancy” he concluded, before handing the clipboard over to Getou to let him see for himself 

“you didn’t even tell us you were pregnant, we had to find out on our own” Gojo criticized. His expression was now one of sadness. The way he was looking at you made you feel guilty and you averted your eyes from his. 

“You’re a very selfish girl, you know that?” Getou remarked after looking over the paperwork, “did you ever stop to think about how we would feel?” You opened your mouth to snap at him that it was your body and how they felt had nothing to do with this. It was the look in his eyes that made you cut yourself off. Gojo stepped forward and embraced you, he placed on hand on your belly and leaned down to your ear level. 

“How could you end the life we created together?” he asked in a hushed tone. His words were filled with sadness and you felt the weight of what he was saying weigh upon you. 

“I-” you stuttered “I’m sorry.” Those were not really the words you had envisaged yourself saying but the two of them had gotten to you. You allowed Gojo to lead you back to the front, Getou following close behind you handing the clipboard to the lady at the front desk before informing her that you had changed your mind and no longer with to terminate your pregnancy. The car ride back was filled with an awkward silence as you sat in between Getou and Gojo, both of them had blank looks on their face. 

“I thought we taught you better than this” Getou sighed, “I thought we taught you to be honest and consider the feelings of others, but apparently I was wrong.” He turned to look at you,

 “This was a very selfish decision you made. You’re lucky you’re not good at lying so Gojo and I were suspicious and followed you, stopping you from going through with the abortion.” he sighed once again before turning back to look out the front. You jumped a bit as Gojo moved his hand to rest on your thigh and gave it a light squeeze. Once you made it to the school the two men quietly escorted you back to their quarters where you found yourself once again throwing up. The stress of the day coupled with your nausea was just too much and you couldn’t fight it. Gojo rubbed your back and whispered soft praise in your ear as Getou went to get you a pair of pajamas. After you had finished emptying the contents of your stomach Getou helped you change into your PJs even though he really didn’t need to. You proceed to lay down in the bed, Gojo and Getou took their places on either side of you, sandwiching you between them. 

“Just go to sleep” Getou commented, “we’ll talk more about this once you wake up.” You nodded and closed your eyes, hoping that when you woke up that this would all turn out to be a dream. As you slipped off, you felt one of their hands slip under your shirt and rest on your belly, their thumb slowly making circles on your skin. 

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[dyketectivecomics]

At long last; another recap of my 90s Gotham reading! (or rather the notes that I took along the way) Still mostly focused on Helena & Tim atm, but change for that is on the horizon...

TW for brief mentions of sexual assault &, uhh, canon typical violence

Tim

Mostly what I wanna focus on is Robin II: Joker’s Wild which... feels like an arc that’s coming in Too Soon and only serves to Prove that tims Up to Snuff.

It’s an entertaining enough read on its own, as a story that allows Tim to Hold his own against a Major™ villain. But it’s much too soon into Tims tenure as a Robin imo, and much too soon for him to have a distinct voice yet for me. It’s just... odd.

I suppose thats some of the appeal for early Tim, I can totally see him as a character here that’s supposed to be an easy way for a reader to project himself onto (he’s a Teen™, he’s a Nerd™, but even one of the Jocks™ in the story briefly point out how easy it’d be for him to be Popular™) and ofc he’s an easy way for a reader to then live vicariously through him.

having read 90s YJ already though... I can already say that I like him infinitely more in that setting than I do rn with how Dixon has handled him thus far...

again. not gonna be one of my fav robins. but i can see the meta appeal of him for others

Helena

We finally wrap up the latter “half” of the Huntress solo run and #13 opens right up with Helena rescuing a girl who’s just been sexually/physically assaulted. Takes the girl to a crisis center and meta textually is definitely taking the situation to heart bc of her own unresolved trauma which oooof

Crisis worker offers to take her on as a client which 🥺🥺🥺 (name’s Dr Evelyn Rosen, note for future randy to WRITE SOME FIC ABT THIS ACTUALLY)

at first Helena going to therapy seems like a ruse just to jacks the doc’s notebook to find out the gang’s hideout and exact VENGEANCE for the girl mentioned earlier, but later issues we see she’s still regularly attending therapy which!!!!!!!! amazing!!! wish we’d see MORE of that kinda thing for these heroes tbh!!!!

there’s a hero who steps in during this arc calling himself the Waterfront Warrior. he steals a spotlight but also the credit for stopping some gang violence, which Helena is Big Mad abt aksjks like girl do u want to be in the shadows or NOT MAKE UP UR MIND AKSJ

(He turns out to be Helena’s landlord but he’s also got a Tragic Backstory™️ and genuinely wants to Do Right by his renters and by his neighborhood just 🥺🥺🥺)

Arc ends with uplifting note abt doing what you can and it just wow. Can’t wait to see how Bruce ruins this alsjaksjsj 

Batman comin to HELENAS city and she is having NONE of it. OH HOW THE TURNTABLES

okay, read thru this all VERY quickly, some stuff to note is that the kid whose family was killed by one of the gangs last arc that i finished was the one driving part of the plot for this final arc. Helena’s kinda??? implied to be taking him in too???

she’s also framed as being much more victim-focused/empathetic compared to bruce in this story which... hmm

there’s THIS panel which is gonna live in my brain and which REALLY wants me to meta abt bc okay hear me out...

(Context jic its not obvs but also bc i forgot to screenshot the panel before it, but she essentially said something along the lines of “i was half expecting (batman) to say...”)

At this point, Tim’s just starting to find his footing as the new Robin in replacing Jay, so like... Similarly............... Helena could kinda be seen as like.... Taking Babs’ place. Not in a COMPLETE 1 to 1 ofc, but still just!!!! idk!!!! knowing that Babs would’ve been finding her footing during this time period as Oracle... Knowing that they’re similar enough in age here (w/ Helena essentially being an early 20-something taking An Extended Gap Year from college, and Babs’ implied to be around this same age)

idk!!! i like the idea of them having contention outside of them??? (supposedly bc i havent read it myself just yet) having beef bc of Mutual Love Interest in Dick which??? that shits always so boring goddamn.

and esp knowing that obvsly in NML helena just straight up takes the Bat-symbol on bc Batman is MIA just!!!!

idk!!! idk!!! its weird!!!!!! but also im gonna be thinking abt this alot now actually!!!

[mimiswitchywrites]

Not A Burden: Chapter 6

TW: SH references, attempted s****de and references, child/s***al a**se references (not graphic but enough that could be triggering).

Begins by exploring the events that lead to her attempt and period typical h***ph*bia

Master list or read on AO3

1.8k words

If you want to be tagged for updates, message me or comment!

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Miriam had not had the best of lives, there was no way to sugar coat that (and oh, how she had tried.) She had grown up with the weight of being different on her shoulders, but it took years to figure out what it actually was that separated her from the others her age. She tried to play with the girls in her village, bringing them straw dolls and small outfits made of leaves, but they could never truly connect. Children have an innate ability to sniff out otherness and will turn away those that aren’t right in the blink of an eye with not an ounce of remorse.

Her father tried to fix her, whispering about how he just wanted to help her fit in to stop her crying out. And still, she was turned away. Eventually, out of options and with too much pain tied to the village, she ran away. If she couldn’t find a place at home, she would find one elsewhere.

And thus, a cycle began. From her seventh year of being, she moved from village to village, trying to get by. She discovered a love for baking and would find work on farm and in kitchens whenever she could. She would stay for a few months, maybe even a year or two if it were a particularly nice place, and then pack her up her belongings and move on. By her twenty fourth year, she was exhausted. She hadn’t seen her father since she was a mere girl and yet he followed her everywhere she went in the faces of strangers. His voice was in her ear as she tried to sleep, hands ghosting her skin at every opportunity. He was even in her dreams, rest something she hadn’t truly experienced in years.

She figured out the root of her different-ness as a young teen, and it loomed over her head like a particularly nasty storm she couldn’t outrun. People were not as accepting outside her village as she had expected; it was nothing but childish naivety.

On occasion, she would wake in the bed of some tavern wench or village leader’s daughter, beautiful woman pressed into her side, and she would cry. She would cry for the child she should have been, for the life she could never live, for this life she could not sustain. Even if she were somehow never found out, she still could not get over her own prejudice.

If there were anything she remembered about her father (she had done her best to drown her memories of him in mead) it was his lessons. He taught her the ways of the world, as a father should. Lesson 1: women are whores and witches, they cursed men to end up angry and alone as her mother had with him.

Lesson 2: Royalty was a con to make the rich richer and the poor penniless.

Lesson 3 (the most important): Man would not lay with man and woman not with woman – that was only for those on the isle across the great ocean.

She tried to convince herself that he meant little to her, but he was her father, and it was so difficult to unlearn all his teachings, even when they were against a huge part of her being.

A few times, she forced herself to ignore her mind and body and would sleep with men. The first time she did of her own intent, she was thirteen, barely a woman. He was the son of her host. She liked the way they could joke with each other and the warm feeling she had every time he said something nice to her, so she assumed that the feeling towards him was love. You touch the ones you love, that’s what her father would say as her lifters her skirt. They committed the act a few more times before she broke down, tearing at her flesh where the boys’ hands had lain and wanting to crawl from her skin.

She left soon after.

The second time was after a long night in the tavern. She encountered some of the royal guard and, after they flicked a few coins at her, she got on her knees and let them have their way with her. She could see her father’s face among them, floating in the background, but she let them finish before breaking down - she was always considerate like that.

In total, she had allowed eight men to enter her (and another five that she hadn’t) and nothing seemed to change. The coil in her stomach still only unwound with a woman and her flesh would crawl every time she removed her underclothes for a man. She had tried drink and the berries that made her mind spin, but nothing made her comfortable with the act. Nothing but the feeling of a soft breast under her hand.

She was disgusting.

And so, hope far from reach and scoring knife in hand, she made her way through the woods. She accepted that she couldn’t be the way she wanted, the way that she should, and so she gave up. She opened her arms to the darkness.

And then she opened her eyes to see light.

And she was trying so hard to keep it together. She was good, trying not to pick at wounds and not giving in to the thoughts that reminded her where each knight kept their knives. She took the sleeping draughts and tried to allow her body to heal, even if it meant seeing His face each night, feeling his fingers work their way past hair and skin. She was even sneaking out of a guarded castle in the dead of night to go on a picnic with someone she had only met a few days ago. She was doing her best at being normal, to have fun as others her age might, but all she could think about was how much like a date this was and how much that wasn’t what she wanted.

Miriam was not good at saying no.

--

They arrived in the meadow just outside the city limits and Lancelot was quick to lay down the blanket and light the candles Juliana had supplied. The orange glow reflected in Miriam’s eyes and he struggled to draw himself away from them, hand dying to cup her cheek. Instead, he set out the food on the napkins.

“Lancelot,” she began, smile growing, “this is too much, you didn’t have to.”

“But I wanted to, for you.” He took a deep breath and hesitantly placed his hand over hers. Their eyes met, his face flushing, before she pulled her hand away to look through the rest of the basket. While short lived, his hand tingled from where hers had rested under it. He could practically feel his heart double in size as she watched the glee on her face upon discovering the sticky buns.

“Did you know,” she began, mouth full of bread and hand covering it in an attempt to be more polite, “that I am a baker? Was, I guess.” He didn’t, obviously, but nodded for her to talk about it more.

“When I was young, I spent a few months with this elderly woman. Her body was frail, and she could do very little, but she was determined to bake, and she decided that, if I were to stay with her that I must learn to bake.” She took another bite. “And so I did and, I know this must make me sound obnoxious but I am darn good at it too!” She laughed as if it were an outrageous statement.

Her laugh was beautiful, Lancelot found himself thinking. He loved the way her eyes lit up and the corners creased. She covered her mouth each time she did it, he had noticed. He wondered what her lips looked like behind the shield and, briefly, what they would feel like against his.

“I am sure I could talk to the Cook and we could see about getting you some work in the kitchens.” He offered, not sure if he was over stepping. From the way her she leant forward and she looked intently at his face, he realised he hadn’t.

“You would do that for me?” He nodded and, after debating internally for a second, Miriam put her hand on his as he had earlier. “Thank you, Lancelot.” He stared at their interlocked fingers, blushing once again. He could do little more than smile at her.

--

The sun had begun to rise by the time the pair made their way back to the castle. They had talked, and laughed, and listened to the earliest birds, and watched as the clouds travelled in front of the moon. Lancelot found himself gently touching her arm or shoulder or hand whenever he could, his heart warming and breath hitching as she made eye contact with him. Miriam told him why she had been late (and profusely apologised for making him wait for her) and how her and the King were on better ground. He promised to be nicer to Arthur in training that day.

Finally reaching the top of the final spiral staircase and laughing as quietly as they could about the dozing guard they had scared, Miriam pulled her arm out from where it was hooked onto Lancelot’s. He looked down at her, eyes flickering down to her lips. They were a beautiful red from where she had been biting at them all night. He brought his hand up to her cheek, taking a step towards her. He watched her as her eyes widened as they darted between his arm and face. He took a final step, closing the gap between them and, oh so slowly, lent in, eyes fluttering closed.

Miriam was frozen in place. She wanted to pull back, to tell him that she had a lovely night but that wasn’t what she wanted to happen, to remove his hand from her cheek, but she couldn’t do anything. Luckily, she didn’t have to. Merlin barreled out the door, almost crashing into the pair (Miri was glad that Lancelot had such a steady grip on her for that or she would have toppled down the steep, stone stairs.)

Merlin’s eyes opened wide, and brows shot up. His mouth curled into a smirk as he eyed the couple, and their slightly disheveled appearance from lying on the ground for hours. “And what time do you call this, madam?” he directed at Miriam, crossing his arms in a faux authoritative manner. She was still in shock, mouth opening and closing as she tried to form some sort of defense. He laughed, moving to the side and beckoning her in. She ducked under his arm and closed the door behind her, leaving Merlin alone with the knight. She would much rather face Gaius’ wrath than whatever would come next in a conversation with Lancelot.

The old man in question was sat at his bench, working on some weird blue mixture. He looked up at her arrival and lifted the eyebrow. She sighed, lying face down on her cot and pulling the blanket over her head. He shook his head at her motionless form and turned back to his concoction.

[ohheythislookskindaimportant]

The Nitty Gritty (Rules)!

Please read through this carefully!

General Stuff

I have ZERO tolerance for hate. These are fictional people, but they are meant to provide, promote, and encourage diversity. It’s simple: If you come to me with hate regarding myself or my muses, you will be blocked and reported. 

Mun is around the age of 25. To interact with me, you must be older than 18, preferably 20+. Muse must also be 18+. 

I am a real person. The pretty/handsome muse you are interacting with is fake. I am separate from my muses. Know the different between the two. 

With that being said, if there is any aspect of our plot that you want to talk about/you don’t like, we can easily talk about it OOC. My brain and my muses’ fictional brain are separate. My muse will not influence my opinion, but I will do what I think is best for my muse(s). 

I am not claiming to actually be any of these people! Momma didn’t raise no catfish!

I am a person who appreciates and respects communication. If you follow me/I follow you, I have every intention to interact with you in some way. That also means I expect some interaction and communication from you as well. Please do not ignore me and just use my page for memes/pictures/plot ideas/mutuals/etc. No one likes to feel used. If there has been NO actual communication back from you for about a month, you will be unfollowed and possibly blocked. 

Do not mistake my friendliness as weakness. I feel like RPing is a two-way partnership. If you want to plot, help me plot. Since I’m looking at your rules and muses, you should be looking at my muse and rules. Please don’t make me do all the work. 

No god modding!

Even though certain tropes are very common in the RP world, do not completely copy any muse/plot of mine! If I feel like you stole a muse, I will confront you and then block you from all pages. 

Following

This is not a follow for follow page. I only follow pages who express actual interest in plotting. If you follow me, except to be interacted with/talked to.  *I understand everyone has our own levels of socializing, but I do expect some communication between the two of us, even if its just plotting and saying hello from time to time. If you’re shy, that’s okay! I’m a friendly person and will usually reach out to say hello.*

Even though I would prefer it if the person who follows me introduces themselves first, I typically say hello whenever someone follows me. 

DO NOT follow me and not say anything to me.  DO NOT follow me and ignore my message and only use my page for images, memes, plot ideas, and mutuals. 

I will unfollow, block, and possibly report you. Sorry not sorry. 

I only follow those who are interested in plotting after a few messages or replies. 

Activity/Threads

I am relatively active. My speed is not meant to make you feel pressured into responding back just as fast. I understand everyone has their own pace. The only thing I ask is if you take months to reply, just give me a heads up is all. 

Unless its otherwise mentioned, if a reply goes unanswered for a week or two, I may send you a little nudge just to see what’s going on. Do not feel pressured. I just have anxiety and sometimes worry is all. 

If I have not answered a thread in 5+ days, feel free to give me a nudge. 

I do not like feeling ghosted or ignored. If you lose interest in wanting to plot or in a thread, please just let me know if something was dropped or if you lose interest. I will understand. It happens. Bad news/confrontation sucks, I know, but it’s common courtesy to let the other person know so you aren’t keeping the other person guessing. If you expect people to respect your wishes and boundaries, then you should respect other people’s. Just tell me “Lost interest” or “dropped”. I’ll be honest, I might ask why. I might also want to talk about other options if a thread doesn’t work out. If you don’t want to talk about it, I respect that. 

I can and will unfollow and drop threads if I feel like, after talking to you about it, the scene/plot development is going no where. I prefer the drama to stay with our muses, not in real life. 

Responses do not have to extremely long, but more than just 2-3 sentences. I will usually try to match the length of a response if I can. Just give me something to work with and I will make it work! 

I do not respond to scenes with gifs or pictures simply because I am lazy and don’t know how to format them the way most people like them. If this is an issue for you, please talk to me about it.  If I use a gif or picture for a wanted plots/plot calls, feel free to start the thread with a gif, but after the third or so response, I won’t be using images anymore. You are more than welcome to use gifs on our threads, though! Maybe it’ll motivate me to stop being lazy, haha!

Feel free to reply to any opens or send some memes. If you send me an ask that involves our muses, I may ask you a few questions before replying. 

Plots/Tags

This is a multi-muse and multi-verse independent RP. Some plots/headcanons will overlap, some will be their own verse. Multi-mun plots shall be discussed later on if it comes up.  

I’m pretty much open to anything. I am not opposed to plots getting dramatic, serious, complicated, messy, chaotic, dark, weird, etc. I’m not a prude either, so things can get a little smutty and NSFW!  Things I’m Down to Do: pretty much anything. I normal people stuff and fantasy stuff (like anything involving creatures (vampires, werewolves, mermaids, etc.) . I’ll only really do canon plots if I am familiar with the universe, but I’m also easily persuaded into things after doing some good, honest googling. I don’t mind doing apocalyptic or future stuff. When it comes to specific time periods, uh... let’s just talk about it!

I know the lore can change on these creatures, so we should probably talk about how we want to approach it. 

Not every plot has be smutty. Ultimately, I’m here to plot and create!  We can talk privately about boundaries if you are not comfortable with smut.

NSFW posts/threads will be tagged. Any triggering content will be tagged the best I can! Trigger warnings will look like this: TW:___ List of TWs that appear on this RP page can be found HERE.  I will do my best at tagging triggering content. If I miss something, just let me know!

Things I Won’t Do: pee/poopy sex, pedophilia, anime stuff, 1920s themed era (unless it makes sense at the time. i.e. a party), extreme blood/needle/knife/weapon play. I AM NOT KINK SHAMING. These are just things I am not comfortable with for personal reasons. I don’t judge. I just don’t want my muses subjected to certain things. I also don’t think I will be making any muses under the age of 20, so pedophile plots won’t be likely. I do welcome age gaps, though. Other than the things mentioned, I’m pretty much open to anything else. 

Admittedly, I am not great at smut but it is something I really want to get better at. Just be a little patient with me! I will give it my all and try my best to be engaged! 

Muses/FCs/etc. 

Muse pages and bios will always be updated. I’m always developing my muses and trying to figure out what is going on with them. I will usually make a post when things are being updated or changed with a muse. Any major aspects of a muse that is changed will usually be discussed with the mun before I change it.  

Banned FCs are found HERE.

I don’t mind interacting with a muse with the same FC. I’m sure we will find something interesting to do with them.  

Anything Else I Forgot

When in doubt, just message me! I’m a friendly and excitable, yet reasonable person! Any questions/comments/concerns can easily be addressed if you just come to me! Also, don’t hesitate to say hi! 

Important thoughts and feelings can also be found here. 

[mimiswitchywrites]

Not A Burden: Chapter 10

TW: SH references, attempted s****de and references, child/s***al a**se references (not graphic but enough that could be triggering).

period typical h***ph*bia

Master list or read on AO3

2.7k words

I refuse to proof read this chapter after spending four days on it so apologies for the inevitable errors you'll find.

If you want to be added to my taglist, message me or comment!

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Gwen liked to think that, after serving families from a young age, she was hard to surprise. That was, of course, until the enigma that was Miriam showed up. The girl, the woman was just so… SO. She was so pretty, so smart, so kind, so funny and so right for Gwen.

And Gwen, foolishly, thought Miri felt the same way. When she had admitted she was glad Merlin had interrupted her and Lancelot, her heart soared. The face Miriam had made upon hearing Gwen and Lancelot had once had relations practically confirmed that, her body draped in loving warmth.

But it was quickly shoved into the depths of ice as Miriam said those scathing words: “something so vile.” Was that truly what she thought? Was she pretending? Maybe so Gwen wouldn’t get the wrong idea and think she had a chance with the beautiful girl? It felt like Morgana all over again – she had found someone that she felt truly comfortable with and they ran off, leaving her to pick up the pieces of her broken soul alone.

But still, Gwen plastered on the servants smile that she had mastered over the years, and made her way about her duties, pretending everything was fine. Because everything was fine. It wasn’t like anything had happened or ever would happen and sure, Gwen had had a momentary lapse in judgement where she thought she could be truly happy with someone, but she would use this as a learning opportunity and would file it away as something to never allow to happen again. And if a tear slipped from her glassy eyes, well, good thing there was no one around to notice.

She breathed a sigh of relief upon finding Elyan’s note on the table: “I shall be spending the night with Gwaine, hopefully talking some sense into him. See you tomorrow dear sister, be well.” She loved him but the idea of explaining why she was in such a state was not something she favoured.

She sat on the creaky stool with a huff, pulling her shawl tighter around her shoulders, face burrowing into the fabric as if it were hugging her. At least something was. She stayed that way until the sun set, rocking back and forth very gently.

It was the way Miriam had said it that bothered her the most. She seemed to genuinely believe that a woman laying with another woman was disgusting, maybe even worth condemning by the god’s around them, and yet she was the one that suggested it. Why would she think of such things if she hated them? And yet, she had said that she had had a long day in the kitchens so maybe it was as she had said and she was just tired.

Gwen stood, pacing the length of her small hut.

She felt the need to apologise. To assure the girl that she had done no wrong and that it was Gwen that should have held her tongue. She probably shouldn’t have shared that she had been with Lancelot – especially not sharing a little of their more intimate relations – but there was something in her that told her it needed to be said. Maybe she wanted to put Miri off him. Was that selfish? Yes. And yet, it felt so right. There was a hint of relief in Miriam’s eyes, as if she was glad to have a reason to reject him.

Her heart fluttered again; Gwen pinched herself to force it to calm. She had no right seeing that as an opening for herself. What if Miri was uncomfortable with the situation with Lancelot? He was an honourable man, and he would back off immediately if he saw any sign of discomfort, but he was also passionate and that blinded him at times. Was it up to Gwen to step in? She should talk to Miriam. Yes, just to make sure that she understood where her courting could lead.

Gwen stopped in front of the wash bowl, splashing the chilled water on her face and neck. The cold was refreshing on her boiling skin – complicated emotions always made her warm. She took a moment to watch out the window and look up at the castle. She loved the way the candles flickered in the stained-glass window, creating beautiful colourful blobs that flittered about with the gentle breeze that would inevitably get into each room. The whole citadel was quiet tonight, as if giving Gwen peace to think. She hated it.

With yet another sigh, she forced herself to light the fire and heat the soup from the previous night. She hummed as she worked, determined to keep her thoughts in check with songs of Bears and Maidens.

As night set in, belly now full, Gwen prepared herself for bed. Her mind once again circled back to the beautiful girl as she put on her sleeping gown. She knew from the moment she saw Miri that there was something there, something that she was drawn to. She had to give her something, some reason to talk more, and so she had volunteered up a few old gowns for the girl to wear (Gwen did her best to ignore the image of the bloody dress in the bucket, soaking, as she recalled her first memory with her) and it had worked – they had spoken gently almost every day since then.

And now, Gwen thought, we may never again.

With that, Gwen curled up in a ball, pulling the itchy blanket over her head, and fell into a restless sleep.

--

When she woke, eyes caked shut with dried tears, Gwen made a plan. Sure, she felt like she was wearing a shops worth of armour – heart too heavy for her to move properly – but she was nothing if not efficient and a do-er and so her mind set to work.

Miriam was a good person, she had a pure soul – Gwen was sure of it – and so, saying something as… horrible as that must have been a lie. She was new to Camelot, brain in loops from her night in the woods and so she must not know the cities views on such relationships. Although, as she thought about it, Gwen realised that there wasn’t really much to prove Camelot had positive views on such things. There was Merlin and Arthur, of course, but not everyone saw them as she could and so why would someone new assume they would be okay with it? Maybe Gwen could talk to them, get them to tell Miri of their thoughts on the matter and prove her wrong? Show her that it wasn’t shameful and that such things were allowed to be talked about here?

And then what? It was foolish of Gwen to get her hopes up, to think that sharing this would make Miri like her. Like her.

Once again, Gwen’s heart fell.

As she looked in the mirror, tightening her floral corset that people always complimented her on, she imagined Miriam stood next to her. She could see the girl’s dark black hair cascading down her back, their eyes level – Miri was barely taller than Gwen – and they were smiling at each other. Gwen had noticed through stolen glances, that Miriam had three main ways of smiling. The first was her most frequent one: when she pretended she was doing well for people, such as Gaius who would question her on her emotional wellbeing daily. She could see the way it exhausted her to plaster such a look – ends of her mouth curled upwards – but she understood why she did such things. To admit her true feelings (Gwen didn’t pretend to know what they were, just that they were unlikely to be positive) would lead to her being stuck in the physicians chambers for longer, she wouldn’t be able to work in the kitchens and Gwen could tell that brought her true joy.

The smile she saw after meeting the girl the day before was the best smile she had seen in all her twenty-something years. Her eyes practically sparkled, singing her hearts joy, and the apples of her cheeks were full. She was light in her step, as if floating with happiness. The feeling was infectious.

The third smile was the one solely reserved for Gwen. It was the one she saw in the corner of her eye when busy, pottering around the room and clearing up after Gaius. She would pretend to be occupied, just so she could catch glimpses of it. She may not know why Miriam smiled like that, just for her, or why her cheeks glowed red each time she was caught looking, but she did know that it did wonderful things to the butterflies residing in her stomach.

That was the smile she imagined now, looking at the faux reflection of the girl next to her.

She sighed, pulling on her shawl.

--

By the time she had finished work that day, doing little jobs for whoever needed a helping hand, the sun was hiding behind the woods. She popped her head into Gaius’ chambers, asking where Miriam’s quarters were, before slowly setting off towards the servants’ lodgings. She was glad to have never needed to sleep within the castle – she found that living in the lower town, no matter how many drunkards would wake her with their shouts outside, created a much-needed gap between work and home life. They were kept well, there were plenty of people proficient at cleaning in this area of the castle, but Gwen noticed how much colder the stone felt without the fires being kept alight as they were in the parts of the castle that high born’s inhabited.

Gwen slowed her pace further as the end of the corridor came into view. Gaius said Miriam was in the room one from the end, on the left. She played over what she wanted to say, trying to form some sort of structure to the conversation but falling short. You should talk to Merlin and Arthur and Camelot is a kind Kingdom with accepting inhabitants and even if you do truly think people like that are vile, I cannot agree with you and I hope you accept that. She was less sure on that last point. It didn’t feel as if Miriam would think that but what if she did? Would Gwen even wish to stay friends with someone like that? Would it be safe for Merlin and Arthur to be friend with someone like that? She wasn’t so sure Arthur counted as her friend – she had heard conflicting reports on his thoughts towards the girl – but Merlin would definitely be affected by views such as that.

She stopped, the door within reach now. Her heart was racing, mind spinning. Despite trying to organise her thoughts for an entire day and night now, she was no closer to knowing what to say, not properly. How does one even broach the subject? She had to also be careful of the girls mental state – it was clear she did not want people walking on hot coals around her, but she couldn’t allow herself to be angry at the girl for what that could do.

She took a deep breath and listened, trying to ground herself.

There were voices inside. Although muffled, Gwen could make out the distinct, beautiful, melody of Miriam and, listening closer, Merlin.

Merlin. That was good. Maybe, if she knocked now, he could stay. That way, she would have someone to back her up that she knew would agree. Having him, she selfishly thought, also meant she wouldn’t have to bring her own feelings into the mix. She wouldn’t have to mention Morgana if someone that felt towards those of the same sex as was expected of the opposite was there.

She took a final breath of fresh air, pushing away the thoughts telling her to run and hide under her blanket.

She knocked.

And then again, just to be sure they would hear.

“Hello?” It was Miriam and, Gwen noticed, her voice was off – as if she were upset. That did not bode well.

“Miri?” She called, anxiety flowing through her whole body, “Can we talk?”

There was a pause and Gwen almost considered leaving, apologising for the interruption, and packing a bag. Maybe she could visit Ealdor and stay with Merlin’s mother for some time. Cleaning pig pens sounded far better than this—

The door opened and there she stood; eye’s glassy but still smiling hesitantly at Gwen. How did she still look so perfect when upset? Gwen’s nerves fluttered once again but, with a heavy swallow, she began, “Hi.” Her voice was quiet, but it brought Miri’s lips up more, evolving into that smile.

“Hi.”

“Hello Gwen.” Came Merlin’s voice from inside the room. Miriam opened the door up further, allowing Gwen to peer into the chamber. It was small – smaller than Gwen’s room – but, judging by the one bed, it was all for Miriam which was a rare occurrence from what Gwen understood. Miri stepped back, gesturing for Gwen to come in.

“Are you alright?” Miriam asked, face softening in concern as she noticed the way Gwen was wringing her hands with worry. She nodded, once again trying to form the introduction to the conversation.

“I wanted to talk. About yesterday. And my thoughts on that.” Gwen caught the way Merlin and Miriam’s eyes locked – clearly, he was aware of the situation which would make asking him to stay a lot easier, hopefully. “You can stay, Merlin.” She turned to him, eyes practically pleading. He nodded, sitting on the seat behind him.

Miriam sat on her bed (which creaked in protest) and patted the space next to her. With yet another deep breath, Gwen gathered her dress and sat – keeping a bit of distance between them.

“I’m sorry—”

“I don’t understand—” They started at the same time, breaking off with nervous giggles, heat rising in each of their cheeks. Merlin’s eyes darted between the two.

Gwen nodded for Miriam to start.

She took a second, eye’s tracing the serving girls soft features, and began, “I am sorry for how I reacted yesterday. I shouldn’t have said such things – both suggesting you should… consider other options, and for saying it is an unnatural passion.” She picked at her nail, stopping before it bled. “I should have kept quiet, I have no right to interfere in your personal life, and I most certainly shouldn’t have said anything about exploring it like that.”

Gwen’s stomach dropped. Did she still think it was wrong? Why must the girl be such an enigma?

“I can’t wrap my head around you. You are such a kind, pure hearted woman – I am sure of it – and yet you seem to truly be disgusted by the idea of woman laying with woman and man with man. Why is this so wrong? Is it not part of life to be pleasured? If one finds the person that fulfils that part of them, should they turn them away purely for how they were born?” Out the corner of her eye, Gwen noticed Merlin bite his lip and look down at his hands. She had no intention of raising her voice, but she was just so confused, and she needed answers.

“That’s not it, I just, I –” Miriam stood, wrapping her arms tight around her waist and pacing, “I am sorry that I am not the kind of person you thought I was.” Her face was dark, eyes blank and brows pulled tight. Merlin was looking at her with a curious expression, head tilted to the side as if that wasn’t what he had expected her to say either.

“Oh.” Gwen couldn’t form any other words, world busy crashing down around her. She was so sure that Miriam was a good person. That she was just putting up a front. That she meant something with the soft touches of her shoulder and back. That she did actually have a smile reserved just for Gwen, and that the blush meant something more.

But maybe Gwen was wrong: she clearly had been with Morgana.

“Well, I am sorry to have bothered you. Goodnight Merlin.” Her voice cracked but she kept her head high, taking her leave. Her hands shook – whether with anger or sadness, she couldn’t be sure – and so she balled her fists as she made the long walk home.