#TUMBLR ISN'T LETTING ME CUT MY POSTS so i guess we're going to have to have this whole ass thing slab!

[aeide-thea]

very much an off-the-cuff post so there may well be bugs, i'm still workshopping my thinking here, but—

i seem to see posts fairly regularly in which a member of some marginalized group A is objecting to attempts by less marginalized group B to make connections between discrimination against A and harm experienced by B (the main thing i have in mind here is when people attempt to align themselves with visibly-trans people by pointing out the ways that transphobic legislation also impacts gnc cis people, theatrical crossdressing, &c, but there are definitely also examples along other axes)—

and like. the main objection i've seen from A is 'why do they have to connect my experience to their experience in order to care about it? why can't they just agree that i shouldn't be discriminated against as a matter of, like, compassion for fellow humanity?'

and this reaction does honestly always just seem a little, idk, naive to me?? like, i don't know, it's gotten very popular ime to complain about normies' clumsy attempts to Understand Instead of Just Accepting [this feels potentially linked to like. the way many of us now prefer silently clicking 'like' to producing our own original, maybe clumsy, responses? but don't @ me on that point], probably because a lot of the time they aren't genuinely seeking to Understand but just to point out all the ways our queerness &c doesn't fit their received (unexaminedly conservative) understanding of the world, which feels to us (very reasonably!) like renewed pressure from the establishment to make ourselves fit that established framework, and so we resist… but at the same time, idk, maybe i'm just outing myself as lesser-than-thou here, but for every sort of person i was raised to distrust and have since arrived at genuine loving acceptance/appreciation of, it's involved first coming to understand their frame of reference at least a little? not to say that there isn't a place for shutting up and listening while you're still working to understand, because there definitely is! but i do kind of think this idea that's become popular in certain liberal circles of like, 'you don't have to understand my experience, you just have to respect it,' is fine and true for keeping peace with strangers, but really isn't a recipe for winning friends or influencing people—it's a recipe for keeping people at arm's length where they can't hit you. and then people turn around and want to apply that rule to coalition-building, and get all shocked-pikachu-face when others seek to identify more active points of connection.

...

another ~Radical Objection to Liberal Approaches~ i've seen, though often not specifically in this context (of discussing the way attempts to oppress A have knock-on effects for B), is like—'there's no point in deconstructing their logic because it's fundamentally illogical! insert that sartre quote abt anti-semites!' and like. no, there's absolutely no point in debating their logic with them. but fundamentally when people assert a logical resistance to bigoted positions they are not doing it to Own The Bigots, imo, or at any rate shouldn't be; they're (we're) doing it to reaffirm the basis of their/our own camp's position, namely, we see your knee-jerk fears and reject them; we substitute instead a patient allegiance to logic, that reasons its way into compassion.

that said, obviously there's a conversation to be had here about, like, platforming bad positions, and to what extent deconstructing them is implicitly platforming them! but. i do think that complaining that logic won't win over bigots is missing the very fundamental point that the logic isn't for the bigots: it's for us. we're talking to ourselves; we're affirming ourselves. and yeah, we need to understand that this sort of intra-party discussion doesn't, on its own, constitute sufficient activism! messages need to be communicated beyond the bounds of the party! but i do think i disagree that there's no place for it.

[ficreadingchallenge]

This is a low key summer reading challenge specifically for fandom. All you have to do to participate is get a bingo card, read a fic, leave a comment, and mark that square off on your card! We hope this will encourage you to step outside your go-to fandom paths and find something new and amazing.

Sign up here.

The challenge will run from June 20,2024 to September 22, 2024.

Your friendly mods are @carcrash429 and @therealjambery. Now get reading!

FAQ below the cut.

Multi-fandom Summer Reading Bingo FAQ

Q: What's all this, then? A: This is a low key summer reading challenge specifically for fandom. All you have to do to participate is get a bingo card, read a fic, leave a comment, and mark that square off on your card!

Q: How do I sign up? A: Fill out this form!

Q: What are the dates of the challenge? A: This year the summer reading challenge starts on the summer solstice, June 20, 2024. You have until the fall equinox, September 22, 2024 to complete your bingo card.

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Q: Can I listen to podfic instead? A: Yup! The comment rule still applies, though.

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[olderthannetfic]

You've encountered site changes over time as a fan elder, what do you make of Tumblr potentially being put out to pasture? Tumblr was my coming of age fan site, and im looking for advice to transition to the next thing with grace and less bitterness than I feel now.

--

Ahaha. God, you should have heard the howling about LJ. "Fandom is over!" "Never again shall we dwell in fandom's True Home!" etc.

Hell, this endless "only LJ was good" crap turns up in replies here on posts where I as OP have very clearly laid out why that's rose colored glasses nonsense and you can so make friends on tumblr, have a conversation on tumblr, etc.

I had my crabby phase about this during the transition from Yahoo Groups to LJ. A lot of the real olds had it over paper zines and the transition to the internet.

I don't know if reading these hilariously samey old posts would help. It does give perspective, I think.

--

As for what you should do, do what I did with Tumblr:

1.

Look around to identify the Next Thing fandom is going to camp out on.

It may take a few guesses and some time to figure this out. You will likely not be an early adopter. Fandom was well established here by the time I joined at the end of 2010. Of course, by now, all those 2009 and before accounts are long gone, but at the time, I was a n00b joining other people's space despite having been in fandom for ages.

2.

Don't expect to enjoy it

I didn't join tumblr because I liked it. In fact, I despised it. I kept right on despising it until a brief stint in Sherlock fandom, a fandom that was so active here at the time that I was able to finally see the good aspects of the site's structure and features.

This is the mistake a lot of people make. They give things a cursory try, don't enjoy them, and go "not for me", forgetting that the last site also had a steep learning curve that was either difficult or that they didn't notice because they were in a different phase of their life.

Bitterness and grief are, frankly, an inherent part of the process. You can try not to be a debbie downer in your public comments, but you can't just not feel those things during the awkward part of the transition. Sometimes, acting positive and cutting off excessively negative thoughts can make you feel less negative overall, but it doesn't happen immediately.

3.

Accept that feeling cranky and old is both a you problem and a state of mind, not a property of the new site

Relatedly, the way we remember fandom platform X feeling usually has more to do with us being in college with fandom friends down the hall or having discovered Our People for the first time or some other time when we had a lot of energy and positive emotions. Often, we were in the throes of a first or new fandom love too, probably for some megafandom that other people also cared about at the same time.

When fandom is leaving some site, there's a grieving process anyway, but we're also often in a worse part of our lives for starting new things. We're busy. We're tired. We're between fandoms. We feel like we already paid our dues to build up our community. Why should we have to start again?

But let me tell you, you always need to start again eventually. I go to a weekly vidders' zoom chat, and a lot of the people in there are old as balls, including Kandy, the person who invented vidding back in the 70s. She's a lot of decades and a few cancers in, and she had to relearn how to vid on a computer after transitioning from slideshows to VCR vidding back in the day. If bad health, platform changes, and dead friends were going to stop her, she'd be long gone.

It's like sharks: you stop swimming, you die.

This isn't just about fandom, obviously. It's about avoiding a midlife crisis and, later, about avoiding feeling emotionally geriatric even when your body is falling apart.

Change gets us all, but being mentally old is a choice. The real reason I gave tumblr such a try was that I had been so resistant to getting on LJ. I was 20. Even a year later, it was fucking embarrassing to have been a crotchety old hag as a college student. I promised myself I'd soldier through the next change instead of dragging my feet about it. And it totally worked in the end! But boy did it not make the transition any less unpleasant emotionally!

4.

Find your joy

As is obvious from the above, the vast majority of the problem is just emotions. Fandom has been on a million broken sites with shitty features. We go where the people are, regardless of whether it has the technological aspects we liked at the last place. The actual shape of that platform is largely irrelevant.

What does matter is whether we as an individual fan are still excited and happy about something. I was between fandoms recently and went looking around for BL series I hadn't watched yet. People kept suggesting things set in the present day with too-cheesy production values and too many banal schoolboys in modern day settings without even anything spicy going on. I realized that the BL/danmei scene wasn't really cutting it for me and I should go for production values and genre and non-canon ships. You probably scrolled annoyedly past the picspams that resulted.

(Of course, hilariously, someone has now shown me the trailer of Red Peafowl, so someone may be making BL that feels like it's for me after all. Look at all that badwrong and very dark color grading.)

When you're in a good place emotionally, it's a hell of a lot easier to weather any change, and when you have a new fandom, it's a lot easier to connect with other fans.

A lot of people wait around for lightning to strike twice. They found their first fandom by accident, and they expect it to happen seamlessly again. For me, it's far more productive to brute force it: collect up a big list of what's popular or what's new and go through it till you find things you might like, then try them all.

And part of this, obviously, is not waiting for other fans to make the party happen. The more you need to join something other people are already doing, the less choice you'll have in fandoms or in platforms. If you aren't picky and just go where the tropey longfic is, that can work, but even then, favorite authors disappear or go to fandoms you hate and former megafandoms dry up. If you're the one bringing the party, it's a lot easier to find a new fandom or platform or community to have fun in.

[neverpathia]

fuck this shit again

have the voice of the opportunist, and this is really making me realise how much I suck with colouring in my drawings. the lineart looks like this

oh, there's a little teaser for para in the corner. oops.

though I think I've probably made oppy just as slimy and sleazy as he was meant to look. so that's a point in the drawing's favour, I guess. he probably looks like a dilf if you squint hard enough.

broken's done so now there's like nine more to go hoooo boy.

by the way the thing I'm doing where I cover their right eyes with their wings isn't just a cheap cop-out for me to avoid drawing said right eye. it's symbolism (oh totally). because they can only experience a very specific point of view. it limits their perspective. in the end, the voices can't always truly see the right thing, and the way they are restricts them into seeing only what's left behind. so their left eye remains uncovered.

now i don't have anywhere as much to say about the opportunistic bitch but I do have a bit. for one, I'm not part of his massive hatedom. he's such a charming little rat bastard and I'm here for it

he's so horrible (affectionate)

no but I really love how each and every one of the Voices is just like a defense/coping mechanism. individually, they were developed by TLQ to make sense of the situation and adapt to whatever bullshit he's being forced through at the moment, right? but in excess, or even when the situation takes the smallest unexpected turns, they can get pretty unhelpful pretty quick.

oppy in PatD perfectly encapsulates this. (wow, what a profound insight, captain obvious. who could've guessed. not like every third post about pristine cut says this already.) fine oppy in PatD was peak

okay but let's face it I just can't hate the guy he's such a flip-flop girlfailure.

well it's kind of interesting how, in a way, this dude also exhibits another potential reaction to fight or flight situations. there's freeze but we're not talking about that today. and then there's fawn. the opportunist wants power, but that's not just what there is to it. in the end, this desire for power stems from an underlying need for control. often, he's manifested by a taste of control for the first time. control spawned from betrayal spawned from fear. from apprehension. from the need for autonomy, met with a lack thereof (thanks narrator you son of a gun), but then regained in triumph.

the opportunist clings to each sorry sliver of power he can get. because once he's tasted it, he requires it so deeply it's become something he just has to have, like an addiction. and he may appear kind of pathetic, or risk everything else for each new taste of power. and he may stop himself from letting himself stray too far, may force himself away if he must. and affection, or kindness, or connection, or trust- they cannot exist, not for this control he craves so much. yes, he's selfish. but being anything else that's not selfish isn't even a choice at all in the face of this power, this control, this sheer craving of his.

but in the end all the opportunist wants is belonging. he wants a purpose and he wants meaning, especially to others. he wants to matter. and having control is surely a way to show that you matter, right? being at the top has to show that you mean something. that you're not pointless. that you exist and have a right to exist.

even if all the actions you take, vile and scheming and despicable, tell everyone else that you shouldn't.

then again, his perspective blinds him. as with all of the other voices.

now it shouldn't be too much of a hassle to figure out the symbolisms in his design but in case it wasn't obvious enough his tie brooch was supposed to be an ouroboros. I thought it was neat when I first designed him. I'm having second thoughts now. plus, I tried to steer his design in a different direction from most others, who tend to stick with "tumblr twink in a nice suit". um...well, I don't know if it worked.

and GOD why did I choose this specific shade of green. I mean, it's unnecessarily tacky? and bright? and way too obvious like him? hopefully it matches? oh well.

[rindomness]

hello hi tell us about mementos and the security level

OH HELLO. Welcome to my personal hill to die on. This post is long. It's one of my out-loud rants in text form. Sorry in advance. There's a cut down there somewhere.

Thesis statement of whatever's about to come next is that Mementos fucks actually as a concept its execution was just horrible and also Yaldabaoth is a terrible final boss. OKAY LET'S GET INTO IT

First things first I really do think Mementos should have gotten a security level. The game plays "Mementos is the public's Palace" very straight, all the way to the end, insisting that Yaldabaoth is created by the public's desire for a status quo yadda yadda yadda. So like. Here's the screenshots actually

I didn't get the whole conversation mostly because I think I was streaming at the time and complaining out loud but like. He just straight-up says this? And then they do nothing with it???

Imagine this with me. Enter the imagisphere or whatever.

It's October. You've just defeated Okumura, and you just watched the mysterious black-masked figure you've been told cryptically about for a while now kill his Shadow. You watch Okumura have a mental shutdown live. It's horrific! It's worrying! What happened? What's going to happen to you? The Phan-Site meter starts dropping rapidly. You go to Mementos to prepare for the next Palace.

There's a security level.

NOT ONLY did this act make the public lose faith in you, but now you're enemy #1, and it's reflected in the collective unconscious. This Chekov's gun that they set up back in May goes off. You have to be much more careful in Mementos because if you aren't, you could get kicked out. The stakes are higher. Mementos, the public view of you, has changed. It's not just doors opening for you anymore.

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL. RIGHT? RIGHT??? BUT NO! No we don't get a security level until the depths, which contradicts itself, actually, because once you get to the depths, the whole POINT is that the public ISN'T reacting to you or your actions! Why the hell would they care that you're In There!

The obvious answer is that it's because the security level belongs to the Holy Grail/Yaldabaoth/the fuckass cup/whatever you personally call him. And okay, whatever, but the game goes out of its way to establish that the Grail isn't really a separate entity from "public desire," he IS "public desire," the status quo incarnate, so once again, I ask, why is this the only time you have a security level! (I know it's because this is the home-stretch to the final boss and mechanically it has to act like a proper Palace. I still think it's stupid.)

And now that I'm talking about the Grail. Hi. Hello. If you've talked to me on Discord you already know this but I fucking hate the Grail. I think it's stupid. I think it's thematically inconsistent. I think its only purpose is to be the "Let's fight God!" final boss. I truly believe that if I hadn't gotten into Persona 5 through Royal, I would not still be into Persona 5, because I would have gotten so frustrated with Yaldabaoth that I would have dropped the game. I regularly complain for half an hour straight about this thing in voice calls. One person once told me the only thing they knew about Persona 5 was that this cup sucked because I wouldn't shut up about it.

I've somehow managed to not do this on Tumblr but I can't really talk about Mementos without talking about it so I guess we're talking about the cup

Narratively: Yaldabaoth just sort of comes out of nowhere??? The whole game is building up to Shido. The whole game. And you do it! You defeat him! And then... there's this other thing??? Apparently??? I was genuinely really confused when I got to this part of the game the first time because I was going ok we beat the final boss complete with eight hundred phases! Hooray! And now there's this other fucker. Going back through the game there's some foreshadowing for him? But it's kind of all concentrated in the start of the game, around Madarame's Palace, when you're just getting used to Mementos, and then it all sorta just disappears.

YOU KNOW WHAT IS FORESHADOWED, THOUGH? MORGANA.

Imagine with me x2 because this is where I thought the game was taking us when it went "btw we need to tackle the depths now"

Morgana has no memories. Morgana knows there's something in the depths that explains who he is. Morgana assumes it's because he's human, and will become human again if he finds out what it is. The WHOLE POINT of exploring Mementos was for Morgana's memories! And then he starts getting these really unsettling dreams, right, where he's a Shadow, or has a Shadow, or whatever. And then you get to the depths.

What I thought was about to happen was that we were going to find out that Morgana was more or less what the Grail claims to be(a being created by the wishes of the masses) and that Mementos was going to be Morgana's Palace. "Oh but Morgana has a Persona-" Morgana's already a weird case I could easily see him having a Shadow or being a Shadow himself while also having a Persona. I'm ignoring Maruki because we're talking about vanilla and Maruki didn't exist yet.

I thought our final boss was going to be Mona's Shadow and that by defeating him(the part of Morgana(as a Shadow/Metaverse being/etc) representative of what they were trying to make Yaldabaoth: wanting to let the status quo handle everything, more or less, the desire to let the system do what it's designed to even if that thing is "crush everything in its path") we would reaffirm that change is possible as long as we all work together. Morgana getting to be this very physical symbol of rebellion and force of will and getting to go NO I want to try even if it hurts me.

What actually happened was... a lot more underwhelming.

What we got was, in a game where one of the primary themes is "rebellion against systemic injustice, you can't just get rid of the One Guy and fix Everything," a final boss who was... one guy who if you got rid of him you'd fix everything?

And I get it Atlus doesn't want to actually shake the boat that much but at the same time Yaldabaoth comes out of nowhere and says absolutely nothing of substance in a game that, over and over again, gets SO CLOSE to saying something really powerful and then sinking back into what's comfortable. It's the aesthetic of rebellion without the teeth of it.

Anyway now that I've complained for an essay's worth here's some positive stuff

I really do like Mementos. It gets a lot of shit for being repetitive and boring and like I sort of get that but on the other hand it is a JRPG. I'm not sure what you expected from the area that is, mechanically, "Here's where you go to grind." I don't see a problem with having this area. I think the special floor events manage to spice it up enough that it's not all that boring. I like Jose being there in Royal, I think he adds a lot, actually. The implications of everything Jose says are fascinating to me. The fact it's impacted by the weather! Like, as a world component, Mementos is so so cool actually guys. I know it's a Persona game so "world impacted by cognition" is sort of the bare minimum but it's really cool!!! The aesthetics fuck! The only layer I really don't like is.. fuck, I think it's Kaitul? Whichever one gets unlocked after Kaneshiro's Palace, I haven't gotten there in my current playthrough yet. It's just... too dark to see, all the time, imo. Mementos feels(except for... 90% sure it's Chemdah) very oppressive and spooky and I honestly think that's great. It's a depressing place to be! For a game about how corruption and systemic violence hurts everybody, it's really good!

In conclusion... don't ask me about Mementos unless you want an essay LMAO in seriousness I understand why Mementos gets shit but I think it should get less of it. And also that I could have fixed it(the cup. The cup is the big bad part of Mementos. Not the grinding you're going to get that with a JRPG no matter what you do you signed up for it when you launched the game.)

[rallamajoop]

Lab Photos and Documents from Resident Evils 7 & 8

Near the end of both Resis 7 and 8, the player character gets to explore a laboratory full of significant documents and interesting photos, textured and angled such that it’s very hard to get a good screencap. So here’s a huge dump of all the relevant image assets I could find to extract from both game files (plus some rambling about everything that got recycled between them, because spot-the-reused-asset is still my favourite game right now).

Photos from Lucas' lab in Resident Evil 7

The photo of Mia with Eveline in front of the tanker can be found at the end of the Mia video tape, though it also shows up again in Lucas' other lab in the Not A Hero DLC. That DLC also throws in a few new photos of Lucas' creations.

And moving on a game...

Photos from Miranda's Lab in Resident Evil 8

(Apologies for the long post above the cut, but tumblr doesn't seem to let you tile images below a 'Read more', unfortunately.)

What’s interesting is that most do seem to be legitimate photos of the characters’ real-life face models, not just renders of their 3D game models. Whether the human models themselves posed for these or whether their likeness was simply photoshopped onto scenes composed without them I haven’t been able to find out (though the latter seems more likely to me, given that most face models don't even seem to have known what character their likeness would be used for). Either way, there’s an eerie realism to these that doesn’t occur in many other parts of the game, and it’s effective in its own uncanny way.

Since both games refer to the same research at the same lab, it's probably reasonable that some of RE8 photos are just slightly-adjusted copies of those from RE7 ‒ those two shots of Eveline in the lab most obviously. And we're probably just supposed to politely ignore how obviously Miranda's just been selectively edited into that original pic of Eveline with the scientists. *cough*

In fact, if you look closely, even that big group photo of Eveline with the research team and transport operatives has actually patched in both Mia and Eveline from that earlier photo of them standing in front of the tanker. In fact, Alan (Mia's partner in RE7) isn't even from a photo at all: that's a drawing from a piece concept art (no wonder they've got him standing at the back!) As a minor role who appeared in no photos in RE7, I assume they just didn't have any good shots of his face model available.

I'm a little suspicious even Miranda's face in the group shot has been edited in from one of her other photos, but the match isn't quite perfect enough for me to be sure.

Even that photo of the needle going into the egg and the developing foetus isn't new: you can see the same needle shot in some of the RE7 documents, and even the foetus development series gets an angled scan-over in the RE7 ending sequence.

Mind you, some of those "photos of Eveline" may actually not be Eveline herself ‒ text on them in the lab itself suggests they're photos of other members of the E-series, sacrificed during necrotoxin tests. Which makes it rather odd that the figure in the second photo is an adult man who looks nothing like Eveline, so I can only assume some wires got crossed somewhere in the dev team.

(Also odd: the suggestion that there were multiple E-series subjects, some of whom were put down for experimental purposes, even though Eveline herself is labeled E-001. But let's not pretend RE lore has ever been super-consistent at the best of times.)

RE8's "lab photos" also include a couple of shots of a man in snow gear who's apparently Spencer of Umbrella-fame, presumably for all those fans who don't feel it's a proper Resident Evil game if there's not an Umbrella in it somewhere. They're both about as rough as that one piece of concept art of Alan, so I'm guessing whoever created them was about as invested in that topic as I am.

Somewhat more interesting to me are the two shots of Miranda with babies. The second obvious Eveline, but the first is presumably of Miranda with Eva, way back in 1920 or so ‒ demonstrating nothing so much much as that in a full 100 years, Miranda hasn't even slightly changed how she does her eyebrows. /s

[needlesandnilbogs]

I guess art is going on tumblr instead of on blogspot today lolll cause I’m lazy. half the high school au crowd goes to see a movie. that is all. (If I successfully did this then there will be a read more bc I put the fic here and it got long)

Image ID: two digital drawings. One is of high school versions of murderbot characters dressed in costumes and standing in front of a movie poster: from left to right, Rin (high school au murderbot), Bharadwaj, Overse, Gurathin, Pin-Lee, and Indah. Rin has dark curly hair and dark brown skin. It is not dressed in a costume, just a blue hoodie and gray pants, and is standing behind and apart from the group. Bharadwaj has dark brown skin and her hair is under a light purple hijab which extends into a cape behind her; she also wears a long dark blue dress belted at the waist and a silver circlet. Overse has light skin, shoulder-length dirty blonde hair, and glasses; she wears a light blue dress with pink trim and sleeves, pink shoes laced up her calves, a Magen David necklace, and a small pink crown. Gurathin has the lightest skin, brown hair cut unflatteringly, and big round wire glasses; he is wearing a red shirt and leggings with gold armor over it, and he has a silver flute hung over his shoulder. Pin-Lee has lightish skin, black hair in a bun, and wears a green bodysuit half covered in green and pink feathers. Indah is the tallest except for Rin and has medium skin and light brown hair; she is wearing a turquoise shirt, purple leggings, a skirt in a different shade of purple with gold trim, and yellow shoes.

the other image is the poster that is behind them. It is for a made up movie called “Sunshine Warriors: Day of the Second Sun” and features an orange and yellow stylized sun on a blue background. On the sun there are images of a pink crown, a red eighth note, a green bird, and a purple butterfly. Under the movie title, at the bottom, it says “Ten Years Later…”. End ID.

anyways this is for chatfic I am deciding whether to post to ao3 or not, I wrote the fic last year and it’s part of the hsau’s summer between Mensah and mb’s senior year of high school and going to college. The relevant bit of the fic itself is as follows:

———

DM: Lee (Pin-Lee), bhara (Bharadwaj)

[10:01] bhara: Hey, wanna go to the river w me this afternoon?? I need out of the house and my aunt won't let me take the car

[10:03] Lee: I'm down, want me to pick you up?

[10:03] bhara: That'd be great \o/ I have no agenda lol I just really need a break

[10:04] Lee: Also, want to come to the movies tonight with Indah and me, too? We're making plans to see the Sunshine Warriors film in full costume tonight, possibly with Gurathin and Overse and Rin too.

[10:04] bhara: OMG I FORGOT THE MOVIE COMES OUT TONIGHT AAAAAA AND ITS LIVE ACTION LIKE THE PART IN THE DOCUMENTARY WHERE THE ACTORS DID THE SCENES

[10:05] Lee: I was actually about to ask if you wanted to come when you texted me!

[10:07] bhara: I CAN GO \o/ \o/ \o/

[10:07] Lee: Great. Pick you up in ten for river time, at 4 for the movie?

[10:07] bhara: o7 but also changed my mind, let's go see how much of a costume we can put together in the time between now and 4?

[10:08] Lee: I'll make a group chat so we can coordinate costumes!

New Chat: Pin-Lee (Pin-Lee), Bharadwaj (Bharadwaj), gurathin (gurathin), indah (indah), Overse (Overse), Rin (Rin)

[10:10] Pin-Lee (Pin-Lee) started chat

[10:10] Pin-Lee (Pin-Lee) changed chat name to Sunshine Warriors Assemble

[10:11] Pin-Lee: So. We are doing this, okay? I call dibs on being Feather, he was always my favorite.

[10:11] indah: I'd forgotten how much I loved this show

[10:12] indah: I want to be Color, if possible, I have the most clothing I could use for her.

[10:15] Overse: Arada isn't interested in going but she says she'll lend me her floofy skirt so I wanted to be color

[10:15] indah: I'll duel you for it. Swords at 2 am on the 29th?

[10:16] Overse: wow rude

[10:16] Overse: whatever happened to reasonable sleep schedules? [10:17] gurathin: Not to interrupt but I want to stake a claim on flute, the least terrible warrior

[10:18] Overse: omg Gurathin just be sun lord, you're already that pompous <3

[10:18] Bharadwaj: So we have Flute, Feather, and two people who want to be Color, who wants Princess and what do the rest of you want to do?

[10:20] Overse: well, I can be princess instead, i do have good high heels for it, but what do you wanna do?

[10:20] Rin: I'm not coming in costume.

[10:20] Bharadwaj: I was thinking Queen Midnight but only if everyone else is down for going with the villain?

[10:21] Pin-Lee: I am *always* down for going with villains. I'll be over in 5 minutes and we can hit your closet and the thrift store, okay?

[10:22] indah: The plan is meet at Pin-Lee's house at 4, carpool to the movie theater, see the 4:45 showing, get dinner, see the 9:50 showing, go home, unless anyone can't stay out till midnight.

[10:30] Bharadwaj: I just checked and my aunt says that's fine

[10:30] Bharadwaj: She also says if we want to come over after and watch the documentary that came out a couple years ago about the making of the show we are welcome to do so and then sleep over!

[10:31] Bharadwaj: It's SUCH a good documentary, it's a beautiful letter of love to the way the show was made and the choices the writers had to make to make it socially acceptable

[10:31] Bharadwaj: I know I just like documentaries in general but I really love this one and not just because it's about fiction I enjoy

[10:35] Overse: omg perf

[10:35] Overse: I have to be princess then bc I loved her voice actor in the show

[cozza-frenzy]

For some reason tumblr isn't letting us reply to this ask "properly", so fuck it, text post time. Hope you see this, anon. Oh boy. Well, we often end up telling this story because a lot of systems tell us they've never seen anything like it before, but if you guys do have something similar you have my sympathy. Dealing with it wasn't easy, it wasn't fun, and we were very lucky that someone (Vimes) showed up to stop it from causing further harm. This story may be disturbing; it also talks about events in our inner world. For any non-systems reading this, the Inner World is a visual reference tool that out system gives us in order to better understand the mood and mental state of parts. It gives us unique appearances "in our head", and gives us ways to work through our trauma by creating memories of places and each other within it. This isn't a hallucination or a delusion; it's our subconscious adapting to dissociative parts that act like separate people, and sometimes it can do just as much harm as good. (Continued under the cut)

So here's the thing - when you have DID/OSDD (at this point we're not sure which one) and your brain has been suppressing almost everything about this for a long time, often it has a lot of catching up to do. Alters can start to emerge very quickly, either coming out of dormancy or spontaneously forming from specific types of trauma. What happened in our case, though, was every single trauma "category" that hadn't formed an alter yet got stuck together. And this didn't form one alter with a lot of trauma; instead it formed a kind of huge "pseudo-alter", one that manifested not with an in-system body, but as an entire place within our inner world. That was The Red Forest. Initially, we thought it was just another place. A forest full of birch trees with bright red leaves, with a thick carpet of red leaves covering the floor - it was completely silent, and even the sounds of footsteps and voices sounded odd, like something was stopping the sound from traveling. Needless to say, it gave us all the creeps. But then we saw someone new come out of the Red Forest - and we figured okay, sure, I guess this is how our brain handles this now. Alters have to come from somewhere, so this is where alters come from. I even went in there once myself, riding on the back of Rakugaki (now a part of Anarchy) because I could sense there was someone in there who was lost, and that was how we found Holiday. Oh boy, was that a mistake. Turned out The Red Forest didn't just feel hostile; it was hostile, in the sense that a wild animal whose territory you just invaded is hostile. All that unresolved trauma hadn't formed something intelligent; it'd formed a huge pile of hurt, anger, fear and pain, that was now aware of where the pieces that kept breaking off it kept going. Within a few days we started to hear horrible noises in the front, like tearing metal or animals being slaughtered, and then the entire thing - the entire Red Forest in itself - attempted to front. It over-wrote our fronting room and dropped all of us right in the middle of it, only withdrawing when it realized it couldn't actually control the body in the state it was in. But nonetheless it took out its rage on Chaos; unlucky enough to get trapped inside of it, it ended up being injured in the Inner World, something that can't normally happen unless someone really wants someone else to be hurt. The first thing it said upon finally getting out - after me and Rakugaki went in there again and spent three real-world hours trying to find it - was "don't go in there, it hates us". We're only lucky that the very next alter I spotted emerging from the forest - from a safe distance, on our in-system "cameras" - was Vimes. He's a specific type of gatekeeper we call a Jailer, who can lock down areas of the Inner World, and he was able to keep the Red Forest contained where it was. He was able stop it from fronting (though it certainly didn't stop trying) and was able to go in there with his lantern - back then, our Inner World's only representation of hope - and lead other alters to join the rest of us. We put a contingency plan ("Operation Kaiju") in place in case it ever escaped containment. But even at its worst we only ever enacted the first half of that; I realized it could be reasoned with, and attempted basic communication through Vimes' barrier. It only ever said one thing with words, and it was "thank you". After the emergence of Jenova, The Red Forest "died" on July 31st 2023, and no longer exists in our system. Our remaining alters found their way to us of their own accord. Chaos still has a special bond with Vimes, and has made him part of its ever-growing adopted family. And we've marked the date on our calendar as our system's Collective Birthday, because it marked the beginning of the end of our system discovery. Whatever you have in your system, anon, I hope our story inspires yours to handle it however you can. Trust in each other, put your unique abilities and skills to good use, and work together. It's the only way to move forward. - Terry, Martin & Leaf

[monsterwithasweater]

Monster Replays the Truthful Route: Part 4

Sorry for the delay, folks!

Warning: You know the deal. Digimon Survive spoilers under the cut.

While working on this part, the draft accidentally got deleted. So, I'm only gonna give a few of my thoughts on the beginning part, then skip right to the exploration part of the amusement park.

I think this game really hits us with the fact that the villains are not indispensable. As Piedmon says, if Arukenimon fails, there is sure to be another one to take her place. And if Piedmon doesn't already convince you in Part 4, just wait until he brutally murders her in Part 7.

Takuma and co. are understandably scared. Sure, Ryo might have survived, but are they really sure they can survive next time? Can they ever get out of this world. If so, can they get out of this world alive? We all know they do because this is the Truthful route, and nobody dies in the Truthful route, but at this point of the story, the Survive gang isn't so sure.

Takuma: Kaito, we have to stick together! You can't go off on your own!

Kaito: stfu

Dracmon: I agree with Takuma!

Kaito: Hmmm, if my little vampire gremlin agrees with you, then you must have a point.

Well, unless you choose the bad ending.

Kunemon (≧◡≦)

Finding Miu!

I really enjoy Ryo's dynamic with Minoru.

Patamon, Palmon, and Biyomon are so stupid! I love them!

BREAKING NEWS: Angry Mean Big Human Beats Up Guards!

The Queen: "Oh, brother. I've never been so embarrassed!"

Okay, that's all I'm gonna bother remembering. Let's get back to Finding Miu!

Dracmon: GRROOOAAARRR! I'm gonna eat you!

Falcomon: All of you... prepare to die!

I love Ryo's speech to Kunemon before he evolves to Flymon, so I'm just gonna share the screenshots of it (warning for poor quality, though).

While making this post, my phone died A-FUCKING-GAIN, so I lost a good chunk of it. Then, while trying to remember what the hell I typed down, I accidentally closed out of Tumblr. So if there are any weird skips, I apologize.

Kaito: I'm... I'm all she has. So I have to look out for her.

After playing the Harmony route, this line especially hits hard.

Something I just noticed: All of the servants names start with P (yeah, I know that in English it's Biyomon with a B, but they're also called Piyomon in Japan, so...).

Minoru: I'm saying if we stand around here talking for too long those pesky little things will-

Palmon: Looking for us?

They're in the four-shadow! Like the one they were talking about earlier!

OMGZORZ, can you believe that they made Goth TK an actual, CANON character in Digimon Survive?

A touching reunion, indeed. *wipes tear from eye*

If I'm being honest, I'd also be annoyed if my older brother crashed my throne room.

She looks so annoyed XD

Of course it's Ryo that says this.

Makes sense, given how MarineAngemon helped carry my first few playthroughs.

Kaito: I just worry about her, that's all.

Saki: Well, sometimes it can feel suffocating being on the other side of that.

This honestly makes me wonder about Saki's family. From what I can tell from her Prologue story, her parents (or at least her mother) seem to be massive worrywarts. Though given Saki's illness, it's understandable.

KAITO YOU IDIOT, STOP PUNCHING THE WALL!

It's the Old 'Mon himself!

I can understand why Minoru and Shuuji are suspicious of Jijimon. After all, the last time they found an adult they thought they could trust, she turned out to be a weird spider lady that wanted to sacrifice them.

But seriously, Jijimon is a sweetheart. <3

Ryo: This sucks. These guys are such bad news. I can't believe we're taking them on again.

Kunemon...

Ryo: Yeah, I know.

Ryo: I don't want Miu to have to go through what I experienced yesterday.

Kunemon: Kew!

Ryo: Heh! Yeah... you're right. We've just gotta do this!

Shuuji's affinity dialogue rubs me the wrong way. Though I guess that's because of the localization.

Okay, I'm just gonna say it here and now: Miu's more of a Digimon Kaiser-equivelent than the hypothetical Ken-equivelent ever will be.

Kaito, did you seriously punch GARURUMON!?

I love the pre-Shellmon scene as well. Unfortunately, I hit the photo limit, so I'm gonna have to copy the dialogue from scratch.

Miu: Oh no! Kaito!

Syakomon: So, you ARE worried about what happens to him?

Miu: Of course I am! He's my brother!

Miu: I just don't like him being overprotective, and I hate how he never gives me any space.

Miu: When he gets like that, it reminds me of... things I really don't want to remember.

Syakomon: And that's why you were so mean to him?

Miu: Yeah, but he's still my brother.

Miu: Only after I can't do anything...

[Insert Patamon and Biyomon getting their asses kicked by Garurumon here]

Miu: Oh no! They're all hurt again!

Miu: Syakomon, tell me, what should I do?

Miu: They're all fighting for me like I'm really their queen, but...

Miu: I haven't done anything for them!

Syakomon: Miu... what do you want to do?

Miu: I... I don't want to let anyone... To let my brother die...

Miu: I don't want to lose everyone after lying to them, or my brother after fighting with him!

Miu: I want to protect everyone else for a change!

Miu: Syakomon, please! Save Kaito!

Syakomon: Oh, I'm so happy you said that! Finally, you were able to be honest with how you feel.

Miu: Syakomon!?

Syakomon: I've been waiting this whole time for you to be honest with me.

Syakomon: Because when you wish for something with your whole heart, I can be as strong as you need!

Miu: What!? Syakomon, what's happening!?

Syakomon: Miu, I'm here to make your wishes come true! So for your sake, I'll grow strong!

Syakomon, evolve tooo...!

[Insert evolution into Shellmon here]

Easily one of my favorite scenes in the whole game.

Anyways, I evolved her straight to Azulongmon and oneshotted Garurumon.

I love the music that plays when the Survive gang learn that there's a way to go back to the Human World via the boundary.

Jijimon: Many times I have witnessed the strong bond between my friend and their human child.

Jijimon: Though it was long ago, and my memories have fades. Yet had that child been sacrificed...

Jijimon: My friend would not have fared well. Those who share such strong bonds share the same fate.

Jijimon: Yet my friend still lives. This in itself is proof that the child is alive somewhere.

The scene between Takuma, Agumon, Kaito and Dracmon is really sweet.

Dracmon: What's this? Kaito being open and honest about how he feels for once? No way!

Pffft XD

And that concludes Part 4. For how much of a pain in the ass this post was to make, I still really enjoyed this part (though that might be because it focuses on two of my favorite characters, Ryo and Miu). Miu learned her lesson, and boy, I sure learned mine...

[vairiance]

One of You asked for it, and you got it! In this post I will rank every single new Pokemon in Scarlet and Violet (...so far?? Maybe?). Note that this is solely based on my preference, mostly of the design, but maybe some battle elements as well. This is already going to be a super long post, so let's jump right in. Just be ready for some extremely well edited images.

Disclaimer: Under the cut lies every single Pokemon design contained in Scarlet and Violet. If you do not wish to be spoiled, throw your device out the nearest window.

Also, some titles are underlined and some aren't. I know I underlined them all, so blame Tumblr. If I made any spelling mistakes, that was Tumblr's fault too.

'D'elete These:

This tier is for Pokemon that suck. I hate them so much and wish I did not have to ever look at them. Okay I only hate a few of them, but I do wish I could never see any of them ever again.

Spidops

We got a poison spider, we got a lightning spider, folks we even got a water spider, and now, get ready for... an uncomfortably humanoid spider! Look, props for finally getting a spider with 8 legs I guess, but otherwise I just think it looks weird.

Capsakid

I'm not fully sure what they were going for here, but Fire/Grass is a typing that I've wanted for years, and I'm not thrilled with what we got. Anyway, I just can't quite get a grasp of what Capsakid is supposed to be; like if you told me nothing about it and showed it to me, I'd have no idea what I was looking at.

Tandemaus/Maushold

I hate these abominations. I actually thought they (it?) were quite cute at first, but everything I learned about them made me dislike them more. The weird clothes, the strangely doll like design, the fact that we're somehow supposed to just be fine with considering what is clearly 2 - 4 beings as one unit... this isn't a Hydreigon or Magneton or Kangaskhan situation where there's a clear organizational structure, this is 4 whole ass organisms. These mauskids are being smothered by over protective parents. With really weird mouths.

Frigibax

This design is probably supposed to be a little ugly, and well, mission accomplished. It looks like a sickly bean.

Cyclizar

I don't know why, but I already wasn't a huge fan of a motorcycle lizard. However, the fact that the wheels are apparently JUST FOR SHOW is blowing my mind. Everyone in Paldea rides these things like motorcycles, and even puts them in god damn parking lots which is DEFINITELY not morally sound, and yet the wheels are just there to look weird? Come on.

Pawmot

Whoever designed this should be ashamed of themselves. How do you start with something as cute as Pawmi and arrive at this horrific thing? I can only assume that they had a design in mind, but lost the plans for it, and then just decided to paste the head on a nearby flour sack and call it a day. Design alone, this is my least favorite Pokemon this Gen.

Shroodle

I think I may just be missing the point here. What am I looking at? A baseball cap? Why does it look like this? I don't think Grafaiai needed a pre evolution at all either, so this is just a very perplexing Pokemon.

Gholdengo

All things considered, this is my least favorite Pokemon this Gen. I hate that something that looks like a shiny inflatable car sales balloon thing has super good stats, typing, and a ridiculous ability. It means everyone uses it nonstop and now I have to witness this cursed stack of cylinders day in and day out. I hate this.

'C'harming, But Flawed

This is for Pokemon that I don't hate, may even like, but some details about them just don't sit right with me. I don't think they should be removed, just... heavily altered, in at least one key way.

Quaxwell

Quaxwell has definitely used racial slurs. I'm afraid I cannot be any clearer with this.

Oinkcologne

SO many Pokemon this gen have amazing first stages and then weird final forms. Lechonk is great, and I was expecting a hugely powerful and awesome fat pig friend, but instead we get... a pig with makeup? That's wearing cologne? Who designed Lechonk and then said "I want this to become a seductive porcine"?

Tarountula

Okay, A+ name, I will give it that. In fact, overall this Pokemon is fine and even a little cute, it's just also a little uninspired for me. Not much else to say here.

Houndstone

Listen I know that saying bad things about dogs is the worst thing you can do in America, but this thing gives me nightmares. In fact it may be the single creepiest Pokemon design there is, for reasons I cannot fully articulate. Looking at it gives me the skeeves, but given that this is definitely at least partly intentional, I have to give it some credit.

Flittle

It's fine I guess, it's just a bit too amorphous for me. Like I wouldn't see that and think "baby ostrich" or whatever flightless bird it evolves into. Also the first 4 I caught had the same bad nature so it can sit in C tier forever.

Wugtrio

Idk why Wugtrio is so low. I think Wigglett is funny because of the concept of is just resembling Diglett way too much, but Wugtrio feels like it's running the joke a bit too far into the ground. I'm also not sure why it's pink. And, I love pink, but... it's a little random.

Veluza

It's fine, I guess. I mean it's a pointy fish, not a lot more to say.

Hero Palafin

If you HAD to design a bipedal weird ass heroic dolphin, I guess this is about as good as it would get, but... WHY would you have to???

Scovillain

Okay once again, great name, no notes there. But the design is just... it looks fake, you know? Idk I feel like it's a very unpolished design, the kind of concept art you would scribble on a rough draft to expand on later. But I love peppers so, I'll deal with it, I guess.

Frigibax

This was supposed to be Arctibax. Whoops. Anyway, yeah, it's cool (heh), but just a little to wonky looking to get fully behind.

Pawmi... I mean, Pawmo

Yeah my bad this was supposed to be Pawmo, the second stage, but again, not gonna change the image. Anyway, Pawmo is a little funny looking, but round enough that it still looks cute. Hopefully nothing happens to it next...

Kilowattrel

Seriously the names this generation are top notch, all of them. But this bird is definitely seeing the sins of my past. The overall design is fine, but the way they made its eyes horrify me in ways I just can't overlook.

Squawkabilly

I forgot this Pokemon, completely. I love comical pompadours, but the fact that I can unironically look at this bird and describe its expression as lecherous makes my skin crawl.

Flamigo

Uhhh this is like, just a flamigo right? I mean, flamingo. Like, apart from the knot neck, it's just a flamingo. Cool, I guess.

Klawf

If I had a dollar for every odd numbered Generation featuring a goofy looking crab that's designed to be a physical attacker whose lore described its pincers as being delicacies, I'd have 2 dollars. I'm not sure why they ripped off Crabominable, and then also included Crabominable in this game, but whatever.

Bramblin/Brambleghast

Idk the designs are pretty cool but I think we have enough haunted plants for one franchise.

Gimmighoul

Unclear how much of this is from my strong feelings about its evolution, but while its kind of cute, just generally not a lot that I like about it. It's fine, no huge issues, just not my thing I guess.

Brute Bonnet

Not a fan of this design, doesn't really add much to Amoongus and doesn't look that cool. Also I understand, I think, what they were going for with the paradox names, but I think they all sound really weird.

Sandy Shocks

Yeah same deal really, it does add a lot to Magneton which is neat, but I just don't personally love the way it looks. It's kind of cool though I guess.

Iron Hands

I dislike most of the future Pokemon because they simply raise too many questions that I know will never be answered. Why are they all robots? Is there no flesh in the future? Are they androids? Do they even live? What fuels them? Can they feel? Do they emote? We will never know. Anyway this one looks like a pencil.

Iron Bundles

They took something as cute as Delibird and made it somehow even more soulless than the other future Pokemon. Irremissible.

Tinkatink/Tinkatuff

I actually really like this line's concept, but I think it's stretched out a little bit too much. Its stats are so low even in the final form I feel like they should have just made Tinkaton a single stage Pokemon with a neat concept.

Toedscruel

Something about this Pokemon just doesn't sit right with me. I think the gimmick was cute with Toedscool, but with extra legs and mean expression suddenly just make it a bit too menacing for my taste.

'B'retty Good

I couldn't think of any fitting words starting with B okay anyway, this tier is for Pokemon that are good overall, just with one or two things holding them back in a major way. Overall I definitely still like these Pokemon, just not as much as I could.

Floragato

Yeah I mean, this is about what a middle stage Sprigatito would look like. Nothing to really comment on.

Quaquaval

Pretty cool design overall, I like the striking colors and I adore the peacock tail. I just think it's a bit too weirdly proportioned to like fully. Head's too big, feet are weirdly shaped, and for some reason a pelvic bone the size of east Texas. Just a weird combination of figures to me.

Nymble

Fidget spinner bug? Weird, but I'm interested.

Greavard

I KNOW okay, I see the notes in my gifs, I know everyone loves this thing, but it's just a bit too... idk, it's not as horrific as Houndstone, so I do like it, but I guess it's just a bit too mouth heavy with the design for me to fully like it.

Wigglett

A simple design that isn't very striking, but a hilarious concept to just mimic Diglett in a silly way.

Dondozo

Extremely creative concept with it and Tatsugiri here, very interesting. The design itself is also really cool and striking, honestly I think maybe it should be a little higher but I, again, will not change any images. Sorry.

Dolliv

Cute grass Pokemon, no issues with that. Just nothing too striking enough to be placed higher.

Varoom/Revaroom

Cool concept and design, I guess, but it feels like these were designed specifically to allow for the Mad Max battles with Team Star. Seems like a weird Pokemon concept to come up with organically.

Orthworm

Huge. Gracious. Beautiful. A little too stupid looking to be higher in the list, but just stupid enough to be this high.

Baxcalibur

I loved this Pokemon a lot, however, seeing it use Glaive Rush by backwards sliding across the ground dropped it several tiers for me. It's a creative concept, which is why it is still in B tier, but just too silly for me to like unironically.

Glimmet

Very cool concept, I like it a lot. Only reason it isn't higher is because it doesn't actually bloom or anything, but it's a solid setup to a really pretty and cool Pokemon.

Tatsugiri

I mean yeah it's pretty cool, we haven't gotten a Water/Dragon type that wasn't a legendary in forever (I think) so that's neat. I also like that it's small and unassuming but actually pretty powerful, although this feels a bit at odds with its dex entry. The color changes are cute too I guess.

Naclstack

This line has the best names in the game, hands down. I like the first and final stages a lot more though, they have some clear and interesting inspiration but this stage seems a little boring compared to the others.

Wattrel

See? When its eyes don't haunt you, it's actually a pretty cute design. Although upon closer inspection, I can definitely see the foreshadowing there.

Maschiff/Mabosstiff

Mastiff Pokemon are great, I like them both a lot. I think their faces are just a little slightly too humanoid for me to fully get behind though.

Flutter Mane

Pretty cool upgrade of Misdreavous, all things considered. Not a whole lot different though so, that's fine.

Iron Thorns

If I wasn't a Godzilla fan I'd probably like this less. But I get the reference, and Tyranitar is always cool, so no complaints here.

Tinkaton

Yeah, see, on its own we have a really cool design. Something about the overall design is a little off for me, can't quite put my finger on what, but that aside, it's a really cute and hilarious design. I just wish its stats were a bit higher.

Charcadet

Cool and cute little guy. God awful shiny for some reason though, possibly the worst in the game.

Toedscool

Incredibly hilarious. Whoever thought of this is a genius. Watching this thing run around fills me with joy. Not higher just because I'm laughing too hard to change it.

'A'lmost Perfect

Pokemon that are almost perfect, but are held back by one very minor issue or so that I just simply cannot move past, or there's just something about them I don't quite like.

Combat Tauros

They took a simple concept, made it cool, and didn't change much. Nothing to say there, except that the eye size and horn shape are just awkward enough to demote it a tier. Sorry.

Crocalor

S for fashion, but I can't help but feel this design is a bit offensive. However it is extremely clever, I think the main reason for the demote to A is because it required evolving Fuecoco the Flawless.

Skeledirge

Let me be clear about one thing: Overall, Skeledirge is probably my favorite final form this Gen. Partly because it is the adult form of Fuecoco the Flawless, but partly because it is what I would be if I was a Pokemon. I large, lazy reptile with bad hair whose signature move is to sing an unrequited love song so badly that it causes fire damage, and who was so lonely that they imbued their hat with life. Anyway, it's in A tier because it gets a bit too jagged for my liking, and also I cannot for the life of me figure out what is happening with its flames. It doesn't look like real fire, yet clearly is. What is it. Please help me.

Meowscarada

I wanted Torracat to stay on all 4's, and then we got Incineroar, who was awesome, but not as cool as I think a normal tiger could have been. I still love Incineroar though, and Meowscarada is in a similar boat. Wish it didn't stand, but now that it did, the design is neat. I just wish it didn't look so constantly smug.

Dundunsparce

Amazing. Only way to evolve Dunsparce is to give it an extra of everything. Beautiful concept, just doesn't quite pop enough for S tier.

Lokix

The main thing holding it back from S tier is that it just seems to have a lot going on at once. Like it's a masked rider with chainsaw legs who also does sick kick tricks? Also, why is it named Lokix. This name does not address the fact that it has chainsaw legs. Imagine if that stupid anime was called "Guy Capable of Jumping" instead of Chainsaw Man. That's what this is like.

Rellor/Rabsca

OHHHH I GET IT, they just switch the first and last syllables of the names. I literally just got that while I typed this. Nice, that's really clever. Anyway, dung beetles are unique animals and I think they've implemented them pretty neatly. I dislike dung and insects strongly so the fact that I like these things at all is saying something.

Espathra

Okay did Spain have notable relations with Egypt because I feel like there's a bit too many references otherwise. Well anyway, it's a cool Pokemon, held back only by the weirdly trim haircut. I know exactly what they were going for I just think it looks a bit too much like a perfectly groomed human's. Should've tried to mimic a secretary bird a little more maybe.

Tadbulb

Cute, though a little unnecessary. I think Bellibolt would've been fine as a single stage. But hey, it's a cute smiling little baby, nothing wrong with that.

Bombirdier

Oh man this thing is really cool, for such a simple concept. Something about just a mean ass bird dropping rocks on you just clicks for me. I think I also just like triple STAB potential, I always like abilities that give multiple STABs.

Nacli/Garganacl

Again, excellent naming, and much more precise designing done here. Don't get me wrong, I cannot STAND facing Garganacl because it seems to be the teacher's pet. Ability gives it status immunity and Ghost resistance and unique move that hits Water and Steel types harder and has decent defenses overall AND has Recover? That's just a flawless Pokemon, dude. You gave Toedscruel "Mold Breaker but actively and harmfully worse" and then gave this salt rock all that? Did the devs get mushroom poisoning that they cured using salts or something?

Fidough/Dachsbun

Very funny and cute designs. Can't go wrong with dogs... I mean you know, that are alive and don't look like people. However, I do not like that they look delicious. I do not want to feel like I want to eat a Pokemon, ever. I barely tolerate it with Alcremie because at least it doesn't resemble a life form.

Slither Wing

I haven't yet seen this thing in action, but it looks pretty cool. I'm terrified of moths but Volcarona has an awesome design, so this is pretty cool too. I don't quite like that it walks like a normal bug though, kind of ruins a bit of Volcarona's design.

Iron Treads

All of you haters can go to hell this design kicks ass. Really clever that it only resembles Donphan from the right angle, not sure why the other mecha Pokemon don't have the same creativity.

Iron Moth

Yeah I mean, awesome mecha version of Volcarona, no mistakes there. I mean, other than the general mistakes with the robot Pokemon.

Iron Jugulis

Well that is definitely the worst name this gen, wow. Anyway, that aside, the design is awesome, and I love the callback to Hydreigon's original concept of being the XYZ Dragon Cannon from YuGiOh.

Chien-Pao

Hey these legendary Pokemon have a stupendous design overall, and them being directly based off of Chinese legends/artifacts is SUPER cool. I think they made this guy a bit too long and weaselly though, I was expecting a muscular leopard, not a noodle with spikes.

Koraidon

Lovely, extremely striking and extravagant design. Seriously, a huge breath of fresh air after the drab nonsense that was Galar and its legendary Pokemon. However, we have the same issue with Cyclizar: WHY THE WHEELS, IF THE WHEELS ARE NOT GOING TO BE USED???? WHO BENEFITS FROM THIS??? DID FRED FLINSTONE MAKE THIS POKEMON???? The wheels are the ONLY flaw I hate it so much.

'S'imply Perfect

Here we are: the very top. The Elite *counts quickly* 30. The greatest new designs in the game, who are either flawless or whose flaws I just simply do not care about. Let's begin.

Blaze Tauros

HELL yeah, this is one of the coolest Pokemon I've ever seen. Just an awesome looking bull, can't possibly be any cool- IT'S HORNS GLOW RED WHEN IT FIGHTS OH MY GOD. Seriously can't stress enough how awesome and cool this thing is, love it to death.

Aqua Tauros

Maybe unpopular but I like this Tauros a lot too. Not as strikingly awesome as Blaze Tauros, to be sure, but very cool, creative, and its horns still glow, so what else do you want? Different stats? I- well, yeah, I guess that would be cool, but who cares.

Paldean Wooper

You cannot improve upon perfection, friends. But you can make it Poison type.

Sprigatito

Sassy Grass cat, very nice. Cute. Quadrupedal. No notes, great job.

FUECOCO THE FLAWLESS

AHHHHHHHHH. Fuecoco the Flawless is the best Pokemon ever, I will not budge from this stance. I will die on my hill and continue to haunt it for generations to come. If you dislike Fuecoco you shouldn't be allowed to breathe. Tell me if you disagree so I can find you and throw you into a river.

Quaxly

Yeah Quaxly is fine, very funny design for a duck to be really obsessed with its hair, but I should've known they would go too far when it when it evolves. But for now, love it. Best trio of starters since Gen 1 or 4.

Lechonk

Another contender for best name ever, not just in the game. I had such high hopes for this fat little guy. But for now we can rest easy with having a handsome and fat little friend.

Farigiraf

Awesome name, cool design, and a long overdue evolution of a terrific Pokemon. I just wish Twin Beams was a better move.

Finizen/Palafin

I'm counting both since they're the same design, and that design is SO good. Base Palafin has one of the cutest designs ever, even if it's just a dolphin with a heart on its chest. I've wanted a dolphin Pokemon for years, and it did not disappoint... much.

Smolliv

Based on my notes I don't think I have to explain this little guy's charm. Cute, smol, olive.

Arboliva

I expected Smoliv to become, based on the leaks, some weird uncomfortably feminine thing like Jynx. But what we got is super cool, looking somehow like a wreath, tree, and angel all at once.

Bellibolt

ROTUND.

Cetoddle/Cetitan

A very interesting and adorable concept. Cetoddle waddling around on land is an amazing sight to behold, and Cetitan being a really cool whale Pokemon is awesome too. Love it, would've been nice if Cetitan was a bit better competitively but, otherwise I like it a lot.

Pawmot

Does anyone feel like having multiple electric rodents is kind of pointless? And are we still getting them now that Ash is going away? Well, anyway, Pawmot is cute, and has yet to become an affront to the eyes, so that makes me like it more.

Glimmora

Man Glimmora is amazing, the concept, the ability, typing, and it's sooo pretty too. I love crystals and I love flowers, and combined we get just a beautiful Pokemon. If only the actual champion knew how to use hers.

Grafaiai

In many ways this is peak character design. It's SUPER unique, combining not only 2 things that are nothing alike (graffiti and aye-ayes), but also using an animal not that many people may be familiar with, generally speaking. If designs can be successful, I think this is the most successful one out there.

Great Tusk

Oh my god YES. I loved Donphan so much, my only issue with it was that it was a bit small and not as intimidating as I would have liked it to be, and Great Tusk fixes both problems. I just wish it was a normal evolution or form and not something that's going to just break the lore of future generations. Also why are all the Paradox Pokemon genderless? I mean, the future ones sure, but the ancient ones? Is sexual reproduction just a modern fad in this lore?

Scream Tail

Please someone animate and get the Jigglypuff actress to have Scream Tail singing this. This is so funny I love it so much. I need a Pokemon band consisting of 2 Toxtricity, a Rillaboom, Skeledirge, and Scream Tail. Pokémore.

Roaring Moon

The only problem with this design is that it just kind of shoves in our face the fact that Mega evolutions will never return. Otherwise it's just very simply super cool. Anyway if you made it this far reply telling me your favorite kind of sandwich no cheating if you just skipped here although I have no way to enforce this at all.

Iron Valiant

Awesome. I wish to GOD it wasn't a robot, and in fact I think it's in the like, A+ tier rather than this one, but its cool enough that I'll allow it for now. I wish the Paradox Pokemon all had unique moves so that we could get this thing some unique cool action, but I guess they're all broken enough.

Ting-Lu, Wo-Chien, Chi-Yu

Like I said, the creativity on display here with turning the classical objects into Pokemon designs is an incredible show of talent. And none of these have any distracting flaws like Chien-Pao, so color me impressed. Not sure what these guys are doing in Spain, but so be it.

Miraidon

See how cool Koraidon could have been if it less obviously had a wheel stuck in its neck? Miraidon is just super cool and slick looking, and it actually uses the more subtle wheels it does have. This also may just be because I haven't seen it in game, but it looks way less obviously like a machine than the other future Pokemon. It's got the LED eyes obviously, but beyond that it looks no more or less organic than many other similarly designed Pokemon.

Armarouge

Very solid design, the living armor concept is just very neat. I like the way it fuses its arms to shoot fireballs too, although again its shiny is terrible.

Ceruledge

Yeah we all know Ceruledge is the coolest, shadow flame blades are hard to ruin in a design. Also, more Fire Pokemon need to have different colored flames, not just the Ghost ones. Look how cool it gets when it happens!

Kingambit

I'm going to level with you guys, I think this thing's head horn and mustache blades (a very common phrase) are way too big. However, adding one to my team increased by win percentage by a full 10%. So, yeah, I have to have this absolute menace in S tier. Also its evolution method is really cool, it felt like you were in a very short anime or something.

Clodsire

When I said you couldn't improve on perfection I was WRONG. This absolute friend is the peak of design. You cannot make a better Pokemon than this sac of mucus. You know I'm right. And it has such incredible detail in its facial expressions too, along with just being a very cool Pokemon. I named mine Clodette.

Annihilape

This is hilarious. Primape dies and instead of going into the afterlife it just becomes more furious. Relatable.

And that's it!

[kinetic-socks]

Long post expressing my frustration with my procrastination

wake up in the morning like yeah lets get this essay done today

have meal

go to class

ok essay time.

find myself crocheting instead. hey brain, what?

brain: we have time, we'll get it done later dw

well. crocheting isn't as fun now but ok, what can ya do.

ok, we don't want to crochet anymore. essay now?

brain: no let's walk around and listen to music. exercise is good and will help us later.

me: again, it would be nice to be getting work done but alright.

me: hey, I still wanna get that essay done. can we go home and do that?

brain: no. exercise good. shut up.

me: i guess this is what we're doing.

brain: ok we got a cut on our arm while running let's go home and treat that.

me: yeah sounds great. in perfect agreement with you there.

brain: ok, cut is treated. let's nap now *reads comics instead and does more crochet like simultaneously*

me: what is happening

brain: ok NOW let's nap (it is 10:30 pm)

me: is this wise? It's late at night and we haven't done any work, and what if we accidentally sleep too long?

brain: alarm will handle it (it did) and we need sleep or we won't be able to think

me: you make sense but I don't feel great about this

I get back up at like. mignight and am like ok. essay Now.

brain: we're hungry again, eat first. and use the bathroom and change your bandaid it's coming off.

me: eating and using the bathroom and changing the bandaid all sound fine. these are reasonable things for a person to do.

It becomes 4am. Don't ask me how.

me: pleasee. essay now, we wanted to finish it before tomorrow

brain: well, it's either essay or go to bed for the night, which means it's the latest we can start and have it be today, so alright! you can now make yourself take out a pencil and write a bit. but also let's write a tumblr post about this phenomenon to ask the internet if you're just an undisciplined bitch for procrastinating or if i'm the bastard. also good luck making yourself follow any tips they give on making yourself get started because you can't make me do shit. it would be funny to watch you try honestly bc it didn't even work last semester when you got so frustrated with me that you'd start hitting yourself. so I really cannot think of a single way you could ever subjugate me and I will only make you miserable if you try. I will also make you miserable by doing this even if you don't try. This is who we are and you're simply not good enough

me: ok, when I post the post can we do the essay then?

brain: yeah probably. it's almost the end of today so I'll let you get started on it. You wanted it to be today and I understand that. You're right that we don't have a lot of time left.

me: it's not really today anymore but you're right that it still feels like it. thank god for the small mercy that is you letting me do it at all. We've been thinking about it for awhile anyway, maybe we'll enjoy this. Oh and you'd probably fight me like this tomorrow if I did it then, right? We'd turn it in at 7 am instead of midnight?

brain: I might enjoy it but you'll still have to fight me the whole way. and oh yeah for sure I would give you hell tomorrow. I wouldn't let you start it till late at night. that's what we did last time!

me: okay. at least we'll be able to edit it tomorrow after we write tonight. Plus we'll hopefully be tired tomorrow and not the next day when we have more important classes.

brain: should we finish writing tonight it's very unlikely I'll want to edit it tomorrow and you're likely to be satisfied enough that we have anything that you won't call me on it at all. We're probably not sleeping tonight so I'm going to give you a headache tomorrow to compel you to sleep after class and then probably all day and you rarely fight naps because our sleep schedule is so bad you figure we need it. plus yknow it makes sense to sleep after an all nighter.

me: ok but we'll write the essay?? when this post is done??

brain: yeah alright put in a readmore and hit post now.

[violetsystems]

Went to bed with some severe light sensitivity that's ebbed a bit since I've had coffee. Still kind of been a shitty month over all but I'm glad it's almost over. Some weird movements on the job front including a lot of bogus offers and some strange updates on some other positions I applied for. Some reconnections with some people from my old place of employment on LinkedIn. I hope that helps my narrative a bit since I volunteered for a satellite community center for about a year on the deep west side for at risk urban youth. It wasn't part of my job description but I built out and provided tech support for a lot of urban workshops out there. Once I lwas let go that disappeared. So I think there was a hesitation to reconnect with me in terms of professional networks. Can't tell if there's bot activity flagging stuff I posted on here instead of reblogging it from source. It isn't really my intention to use my Tumblr as anything as a private place to communicate to friends. I get that people make memes and want ownership over things. If Tumblr treated it more like GIPHY where it flagged the original owner instead of making it personal. I reblog things from people sometimes because that's my way of staying in contact. There's blogs on here that explicitly ask in the tags that you don't follow them for whatever reason and that's something I respect. But acting like your content gets seen on my blog when it has absolutely zero notes is understandable. But I'm on a level of shadowban that doesn't even register in the real world. I cast no shadow in the real world. So I just delete the content and move on. I'm not making any money here. But I understand your point. If I don't reblog something from the source it's because I want to stay anonymous. I watched Kamikaze 89 last night on Midnight Pulp. If there's a gifset of a movie I watch and I don't know the source I treat it like reblogging an animated gif from GIPHY. I don't know the person and they aren't a mutual. But if you are stalking me on here for years to try and catch me in some cancel trap on the internet you need to take a number. I know people on here from real life that have turned my activity on here into a protest march. There's people stalking me in the neighborhood because I reblogged a saw gif about cutting off your foot. I thought that was a funny euphemism for having my entire identity destroyed by making footwork music. But somehow that translates into me being insensitive to people with foot injuries. And they arrange for those people to follow me around in the street to prove some point about surveillance I guess. If that's the way we're headed? Just remember people like me come from the darkness. It's nothing new to me. Shadowban country visa is somewhere on my passport. See page 27.

[ficreadingchallenge]

Summer Fic Reading Bingo

This is a low key summer reading challenge specifically for fandom. All you have to do to participate is get a bingo card, read a fic, leave a comment, and mark that square off on your card! We hope this will encourage you to step outside your go-to fandom paths and find something new and amazing.

Sign up here.

The challenge will run from June 21, 2023 to September 21, 2023.

Your friendly mods are @carcrash429 and @therealjambery. Now get reading!

FAQ below the cut.

Q: What's all this, then? A: This is a low key summer reading challenge specifically for fandom. All you have to do to participate is get a bingo card, read a fic, leave a comment, and mark that square off on your card!

Q: How do I sign up? A: Fill out this form!

Q: What are the dates of the challenge? A: This year the summer reading challenge starts on the summer solstice, June 21, 2023. You have until the fall equinox, September 21, 2023 to complete your bingo card.

Q: Who can participate? A: Anyone who reads fanfiction!

Q: Can I get a text-based bingo card instead of an image? A: Absolutely, please let us know you’d prefer that format when you sign up.

Q: Do I have to leave a comment to complete the square? A: Yes. I mean, we're not going to check up on you or anything, so it's the honor system. But let's give creators some love, shall we?

Q: Can I listen to podfic instead? A: Yup! The comment rule still applies, though.

Q: What if the thing I'm using to complete my square isn't on AO3? A: That's fine. You can reblog on Tumblr, leave a comment on a blog post, or otherwise let the creator know you enjoyed their story/art/podfic.

Q: What sort of things are on the bingo card? A: You can see our full list here.

Q: What if there is one of my triggers or something that squicks me on the list? A: Just let us know when you sign up and we'll make sure you get a card that doesn't have those things on it.

Q: What do you mean by [fill in the blank]? Does this fic count for that square? A: It's up to your interpretation - we wanted to leave things as broad as possible. If you're really stuck, send us an ask and we can talk about it!

Q: What do I win if I get a bingo? A: The priceless satisfaction of a job well done. Also, we might have something special for you at the end. Guess you'll have to participate to find out.

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 5: Stuck In The Middle With You

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

—

consistent formatting? nah. in this house we believe in Convenient Formatting 🙏 rapid fire and no flashbacks again (when they start to get Super Painful later on you’ll mourn the days when i skipped them for extra fluff) we’re Zeroed In on the nerds for another hot minute. this is what happens when you get hooked on a fic by an idiot that’s more inspired by screenwriters than authors, srry ❤️

also this chapter (and probably quite a few throughout this fic) is specifically for the babes that have had to pick themselves up from the dirt after a romantic crash. i cannot tailor this in a vague way that lets anyone picking this up have their own catharsis here, right? mega impossible to one size fits all that. but what i CAN do is use the bundle of greek myth references that is ava’s concept to tell a story about regaining personal power after a total shitass tricks you into thinking youre not completely bitchin as you are ❤️

and i guess make a bunch of canadian jokes bc those are really funny to me tbh. thank you donnatella moss for the inspiration. the best accidental moose canada ever had

anyways. sit. get comfy 😌 think of the ex you reallyreallyreally wanna stab 🥰 and then go project that exact motherfucker onto alec ❤️

—

"Put it on."

"No."

"Put. It. On."

"Nope."

"It's going to look good on you."

Bucky flicks his eyes up from the news article open on his tablet. "Yes, it would."

"Great. Your head is still gigantic post-defrosting. Good thing the one I picked comes with buttons. Leave three of them undone—"

"I know how many to leave undone." That was a misstep. He knows it the second the words leave his mouth. She's going to use it as if it's compliance. It isn't.

"And I'm sure you remember how to get your arms through the holes, too. So, let's go." Natasha repeatedly taps her hand on the kitchen table, making her rings knock against the aged wood. "Make with the wardrobe change."

"I'm not wearing that, and I'm sure as hell not going anywhere," he counters blandly.

"Yes, you are. Get up."

"Eat dirt, Romanoff. I have this thing called a will of my o—"

"So, you don't want to go?"

"Correct."

"Nothing could convince you to change your mind?"

"Absolutely not."

"Who do you think is going to be more disappointed when I repeat that at the bar, Wyatt or Ava?"

Bucky's eyes close slowly. Gently. The movement is a stark contrast to the anger swirling in him, the majority of which is aimed at himself, not the Russian seeking to ruin his life. This was so easy to spot coming. So easy. And he walked right into it.

"Have you given—" Steve attempts around a mouthful of food, cutting off when Natasha hits him in the back of the head to make him stop. He takes a moment to wash down the Coco Puffs with a gulp of fresh coffee after that. "Have you given Wyatt an autograph yet? I gave him one. Super nice guy, you'll like him."

"Why is the brain trust suddenly invited to a night out?" Bucky demands. This is a fucking trap. There is no possible way that this isn't a fucking trap.

Natasha rolls her eyes at him. "We're plying them with booze to try and keep them from suing us into the ground for inflicting you on the populace. Now shut up and go change. You're not wearing those pants."

"I'm—" He cuts himself off mid-refusal. There's not a chance, not even a fraction of a percent of one, that Ava would take offense to him not wanting to go. He's told her, on multiple occasions, that he hates getting dragged out to these things. His friends are awful, and they just do this to torture him. He's not inclined to entertain that most weeks, and Ava knows that. "I don't have any other pants aside from—"

"Yes, you do."

"I'm not wearing tux pants to a—"

"The leather ones you keep for long rides."

Bucky stops, and not because Natasha just revealed knowing another secret he hasn't told her. That shit doesn't even phase him anymore. His eyes move down to the blue button-up she's trying to force him into, his lips pursing slightly. The leather pants she's not supposed to know about are worn to hell and back at this point. Heavy weathering, a hole or two at the back of the heels, more than a few deep scratches that'll become holes if he's not overly careful. Not the kind of thing that would usually be suitable for a night out. 

That button-up is new, though. Looks expensive, too. Good quality silk. It'll look more natural on him under a jacket. Less like a significant effort and more like something he got roped into. Which is precisely what's happening.

Bucky sighs deeply, looking back up at her in resignation. "I have some ground rules."

"You're allowed to have approximately one."

He looks over at Steve in frustration. The bastard shakes his head with a cackle, a fresh scoop of Puffs halfway to his mouth. "Ooohoho, no. Nah-uh. There's a captain on deck tonight, but it is not me." He stands up, chewing quickly, a big dumb smile on his stupid face. "I'm being a good boy and following her orders."

Natasha knocks on the spot of hardwood directly in front of Bucky obnoxiously. "Name your singular rule. I still have to do my hair; hurry the hell up."

Her sass reminds him that he has to figure out what the fuck he's going to do with his hair. "I'm not dancing, for starters—"

"Great. None of us will hound you about dancing; you have my word. Go get dressed. We leave in an hour, and you'll be really embarrassed if I have to drag your unconscious body through the tower." Her eyebrows raise expectantly as she stands up, looking between him and the shirt. To add insult to injury, she taps her nails along his head on her way out of the kitchen.

Steve doesn't look over from where he's raiding the fridge for another snack. "For what it's worth, she sounded excited about the invitation."

Bucky's eyes squint suspiciously. "You invited her?"

"No, Nat did," he replies far too casually. "I was just in the room when she made the call."

"See, your fuck up here is that now I know—"

"I have information you can try to weasel out of me? Thanks, Buck, I appreciate that, seeing as I'm entirely inept when it comes to interrogation and spycraft—"

"Only for the most part. Was this your push or Nat's?"

"Are you asking to be a pest, or are you asking because you need to know?"

Bucky grinds his teeth. He can say the latter, and Steve will never know the difference. "I don't need to know, but—"

"Then fuck off." He shuts the fridge door with a gentle swing and a bright smile. "I have to go get dressed. So do you." He flicks at the bun resting against the back of Bucky's head on his way out. These fuckers are always touching him, and they don't pull the Canadian routine about it. "Should do something with your hair. It looks like it has blood on it."

It probably does. His last mission was designated complete all of twenty minutes ago, and he definitely bled through some of it. Bucky can't really tell on his end; he's still coming down from the adrenaline rush. Something Natasha used to her advantage, no doubt. 

"You fuck off," he grumbles long after Steve is out of earshot.

—

"I'm completely serious."

"No, you're panickin', ya big baby."

"I mean it."

"I'd like to go ahead and remind you that I was there when you purchased most'a your wardrobe. Both times. I think I'd know if y'didn't."

"I can't wear any of that. It's one thing when it's my space—"

"You're allowed to exist in other places, ya dweeb."

"I didn't say I wasn't allowed. Just that...." Ava trails off, her nerves finally catching up to her. The argument had felt like a funny joke when she poked her head through the doorway to start it. Now it's not feeling so funny anymore. Paige is doing that awful, shitty thing where she makes sense. Leaning against the frame and glancing down at the master bedroom's carpet, Ava feels small. "I don't know. The stuff I wear to conferences is too—prim. Most of it's ballroom shit and wouldn't work, anyways. All of my usual go-to's just... It all feels... stupid."

The energy drink chugging champion that is her best friend props herself up on her elbows where she's laid out on her bed. The headband she's wearing has two miniature alien heads poking up from it that wiggle with the motion. "Well, hey there, Alec. Long time no see, ya son of a—"

"Yeah, yeah," Ava waves her hand dismissively. The reminder does knock some of the pity party out of her, at least. There was a time when she made decisions for herself and herself alone. Those were damn good years, and Ava is trying like hell to get back into the mindset. The one she proudly lived in before she let someone talk her into being ashamed of who she is. "Let my freak flag fly, whatever. I still don't have anything to wear." Nothing that doesn't feel crushingly laughable, anyways.

"What about that lace skirt you've got, the one with the swirly patterns? That one's so cute."

Ava frowns. She's not looking to get squished in hosiery tonight, which would be the only way to save herself in something that short. "For dancing?"

"Mmm. That's, ya know, that ain't a bad point. It ain't exactly built for the breeze." Paige tilts her head to the side, making the aliens go wild. Her face pinches like she's brainstorming. Then her eyes go wide with excitement. "Oh! Wear that—the, the thing!"

"Gonna need more to go on." She snaps her fingers as Paige smacks at her own bedspread.

"The wrap dress!"

"You're out of your mind," Ava laughingly insists. Now that she's caught up to her best friend's train of thought, she's almost startled. "That's—first of all, I think it's technically a sun dress—"

"Who gives a shit? Ya look great in it."

"I look—that's beside the point. It... it's not too...?"

"Too...?"

"Shit, I don't know." She folds her arms over her chest and chews her lip for a few seconds. "What do I wear with it?"

"Nothin' but heels." The smirk on Paige's face is devious.

"You know what else isn't built for the breeze? Me. I'm not looking to flash the Avengers tonight, thanks." The words make her instantly think of Bucky, shamefully enough. He's not even going to be there tonight. She's absolutely sure of it. He's told her how much it takes to convince him to go out these days.

The manic pixie rolls her eyes. "Alright. The dress, the heels, and somethin' stringy."

"How about a jacket?" Ava reasons, already turning to go back to Paige's guest room, the one that's been unofficially hers for years.

"Pick one that's sheer, ya chickenshit," she shouts down the hallway behind her.

"That's a lot of sass coming from the woman who can't look America's Sweetheart in the eye!" 

"You'll thank me when you don't wake up here!"

Ava gets hit with the mental reminder that a certain sergeant has been threatening to fly her home for over a week. She hip-bumps her unofficial door closed with a huff. 

Bucky's not going to show up tonight. 

Even if he was, the man's a serial flirt, and she's his—the primary neurosurgeon on his case. Not-flirting through his appointments has been…. She's been trying to think of it as a bedside manner. A very unprofessional bedside manner. The kind she wouldn't have the balls to admit to out loud.

Natasha didn't mention him directly during the invitation call, only his case. All she said was that the whole team was welcome, including the duct rat, Findley. No mention of other attendants. It would have been brought up if he were going to be there; Ava's sure of that. 

Natasha did mention getting Paige home on time, which was suspicious. Tomorrow is the engineer's first mission assigned to the Avengers as support, sure, but they don't seem like the type to need a pre-check. Ava's only seen a handful of SHEILD agents listed in the medical reports from Bucky's missions, and he never mentions any of them directly. She's always gotten the impression that assigned agents are an unknown hand in that machine.

If Steve ends up tagging along, she'll have her suspicions about the Russian's intent with this whole thing. She might have an ally in the fight to push her best friend that she didn't know about. 

Maybe she'll go to the tower after Paige is home safe. Ava's brought up the idea of switching to night appointments before, and she doubts Bucky would say no to a quick ten minutes on the roof. He might even stay for a while without having the excuse of leaving her to her work. 

She could pick up some late-night bagels to bribe him with. Her favorite shop closes early, but they work til midnight sometimes just for the baking process. Ava does the yearly medical work for the owner and his family without charging him. In return, he lets her sneak in after hours for cream cheese and salmon. With that and a quick stop to her office for a handful of lollipops, she's got herself some super soldier bait. 

She might not even stop to change back out of the dress. She'll grab the lab coat, though. Bucky looks more at ease whenever she has it on.

—

He wants to leave already.

It's been eighteen seconds since they coraled him through the front door. He's very proud of himself. He didn't think he'd make it to half that before the urge hit.

Bucky looks around the crowded bar with the sourest face he can muster. It's loud, it's cramped, it's loud, he's already hot enough to know he'll be sweating at some point, and it's too fucking loud. The checkpoint out front is a disaster. He's not real clear on what the standards for a bar security chief are, but that pick-up artist with the handheld, battery-powered metal detector out front doesn't fit his definition of competent. Not by a long shot.

The Avengers haven't rolled out with the full roster tonight. Tony, mercifully, is away with Pepper, Barton fucks off to god knows where, and Rhodey's as much of a workaholic as Bucky is. He tries not to think about where Thor goes. That particular can of worms is pretty full. He's still trying to get used to the fact that they've got a Quinjet that can just go to space. Whenever he—they want.

The ones that did come don't give him any shit when he breaks off to do his walk-about. They all figured out pretty early on that it's a sensitive subject. Bruce doesn't even notice him leave half the time. Steve used to do a piss-poor job of inconspicuously following him back when Bucky was primarily non-verbal. Natasha never mentions it.

The building is two stories. There's a halfway decent camera set-up that he can tap into through the wifi. No windows in the bathrooms. The roof access isn't wired with an alarm. All the emergency exits are, though. The owner's room was locked before Bucky got to it, but the staff areas are open to whoever turns a handle. They've got a round of code inspections coming up at the start of next month. They'll fail at least two of them if they don't unblock that rear door.

Sam silently checks in with an offered fist bump once he's back at the table eight minutes later. Bucky doesn't hesitate to reciprocate it. There's already a half glass of whiskey sitting on the table waiting for him. He doesn't hesitate to get his mitts on that, either.

Wyatt and Hannah show up before Ava and Paige do. It's the first time Bucky's been faced with meeting them since Ava offered that one time. She never pushed it after that. He's been meaning to get around to it. But the idea has been making his teeth buzz too much to go through with it.

Hannah is laser-focused on him from the start. She's just as conscious of it as he is, then. He can tell the moment that the realization hits Wyatt. His eyes widen with a flash of concern, his burly frame curling in on itself as if that'll make six feet of muscle look less threatening. It's almost heartwarming that he's worried about looking threatening to Bucky, of all people. The anxiety on the kid's face gets swallowed up by excitement. Seconds later, another wave of anxiety surfaces. It teeters back and forth as Hannah pushes him up to the table through the crowd.

Bucky watched Atlantis the other night after one of his nightmares took away any chance of falling back to sleep. It saved him from having to wake Steve up for a trip to the supply store. He texted Ava about it once he spotted the sun through the small gap in his blackout curtains; she was thrilled. Seeing the baby-faced brain surgeon nervously approach the table makes him understand why she compares him to Milo, not Dr. Sweet. 

Bucky's not looking to be the aggressive silent type anymore. At least not when it comes to the people working their asses off for him. He reaches out with his flesh hand, giving a reassuring half-smile to Wyatt. "Good to finally meet you, Combs."

The grin that stretches across the doctor's face looks wide enough to hurt. A stubby hand reaches out across the table for an enthusiastic shake. "It's an honor to meet you, Sergeant Barnes."

"I'll sign that journal Ava's warned me about if you promise to call me Bucky," he bribes, taking his hand back for another sip of whiskey.

"Y'mean it?" He's already headed for his patch-covered messenger bag with a hopeful look on his face. "I can use whatever makes ya comfortable. I'm not gonna make ya sign—"

"Hand it over." He glances over to where Hannah is sitting down across from Bruce. They trade an amicable nod when she makes direct eye contact again. "It's good to meet you, as well, Schuster."

"Barnes." He hears the sound of a boot being kicked under the table and watches Wyatt glare at the side of her head. She gives Bucky a strained smile. He's got a feeling it's usually strained. "Likewise."

Bucky likes her already.

As Ava warned, it doesn't take long for Wyatt to start asking about maps. He's bombarded with questions the moment he hands the journal back, with a fresh, chicken-scratch signature on one of its pages. The kid has a lot of trouble picking one at a time, and Bucky's trying not to shorten his answers out of habit. 

He keeps a mental list of the information Wyatt's most interested in. A year ago, he would have done it out of ingrained habit. Tonight it's a deliberate choice. Bucky can get his hands on records the Combs family doesn't know about. The kind they can't make a legal request for because there's no official log of it.

Ava and Paige are the last to arrive. He's too busy trying to give Wyatt more stories when they walk through the door to spot them. Steve is the first to notice their entrance, pausing mid-sentence about a mission the Howlies went on that Bucky barely remembers. Looking away from Wyatt's face, he understands why his best friend froze up. 

Good fucking god almighty. She's trying to kill him.

The doctor that haunts Bucky's dreams is walking through the crowded bar in an outfit that should be triggering the tactical analysis in his head. The analysis that, lately, only ends when his mind catches up to the fact that he shouldn't be thinking about being balls-deep in her while trying to make eye contact. It's probably—definitely inappropriate. But something about the thin, light blue fabric of her dress is shorting him the fuck out. 

It's low-cut, which is the first strike. The second is the way that split up her right leg only stops when it reaches the top of her thigh. The third—the one that really knocks him flat on his ass—is the way the whole thing is pulled in to show off her hips. The ones he'd have a lot of trouble letting go of if she ever let him put his hands on her to begin with.

He roughly swallows around nothing but air. His eyes shoot up to Ava's face, desperate to stave off his bastard mind latching onto her outfit. The last thing he needs in his head right now is a full-scale plan for laying her out on the table to unwrap that thing like a present. She's smiling at him, genuine surprise shaping most of her expression. God willing, it's about his presence here, not where his eyes were a second ago.

"They let you out of the house now?" she sasses him over the roar of the bar. Her hand folds into a fist and props high on her hip as she stops at the table's edge, her other arm linked with her best friend's.

Bucky is so fucking hopeless for her. "Yes, ma'am. But only if I get enough green stickers that week."

"In that case, thanks for behaving. I didn't think you'd be here tonight." That smile of hers is still bright as the sun. Still aimed at him. Christ, he's never been happier about Natasha ruining his life. "I'm pleasantly surprised around you, for once."

Gimmie half a chance, and I can show you every kind of pleasant surprise there is. 

If this were 1943, he'd still have the balls to say it to her. It'd be suicide to say it around his idiot friends, but he was a dumbass who wouldn't have hesitated back then. Not with someone like her. 

It's probably a good thing it's not still 1943. "If I make all the surprises annoy you, you'll tell me to stop. I have to keep you on your toes, or you'll get bored."

One of her eyebrows raises at him, entirely unimpressed. It makes him want to hold her hand. "You do understand how cool my job is, right? You're also a literal cyborg I get to poke at whenever I feel like telling you it's medically necessary. What part of that am I supposed to get bored with, sergeant?"

Bucky folds with a shy chuckle, bringing up his glass of whiskey to hide his mouth behind. "You get used to the shiny parts."

"I'm sure he'll let you add more when he busts his ass again," Sam jokes from off to Ava's left. He's staring at Bucky with an overly satisfied grin. It makes him glare over his whiskey while Ava and Paige sit down.

"Sorry we're late," Paige says, her eyes moving to Steve and her cheeks turning slightly pink. "Gettin' through Bronx traffic is always fun."

"Ordered Ryder's usual," Hannah mentions, pointing to a tall glass of ale the waiter dropped off while he wasn't looking. "Didn't know what you were in the mood for."

"Somethin' fizzy." She rhythmically taps her mismatched nails on the table, humming to herself while she glances over the drink menu. "Or maybe somethin' icey."

"I went the margarita route if you wanna go halfsies tonight," Wyatt offers, nudging his frosted glass over to her. Paige perks up and leans over for a sip.

He looks over at Steve, who's watching the interaction with the sappiest smile. It nearly makes his eyes roll. Natasha and Sam sniffed out the captain's big crush a long time ago, but it's the first time Bucky's seeing it for himself.

Neither one of them has learned a goddamn thing. Not in a hundred years.

A much more gentle nail taps right in front of his arm, dragging his eyes back to Ava while she gets herself seated. "What made you decide to come?" 

She would hit him with a question that blunt right off the bat. He tries not to notice Sam's silent laughter next to her. 

"Heard the egg heads were making an appearance," he decides to be mostly honest with.

The pleased smile on her face takes on a softer edge. She really hadn't been expecting him to show. It makes him all the more glad that he listened to Natasha. "We convinced you?"

You did. "You're surprised? I'm not about to put in the effort for these assholes."

"He only does that for our birthdays," Sam tells her, leaning into her space slyly. 

Bucky holds out his hands, mildly insulted. "And bank holidays."

Ava turns her head to offer her hand to Sam with a warm giggle. She looks so fucking good in the low bar light. With her neck muscles stretched like that, Bucky wants to kiss under her jaw just to see her reaction. "I've been hoping we'd meet again under better circumstances. Ava Ryder."

Sam barks a laugh, wrapping his hand around hers. "I'd say watchin' you hand Steve his own ass was great circumstance."

"Well thanks," Steve interjects, flipping him off before going back to drawing on a napkin with Paige.

The comment, and the gesture, gets ignored entirely. "Sam Wilson, but you can call me your favorite Avenger."

Bucky almost rolls his eyes again. Watching Ava's giggles get worse stops the urge.

—

She was wrong.

He came out tonight. To a bar. To spend time with them.

Ava takes another drink of her ale, watching the Winter Soldier over the rim of her glass. Wearing a dress that could unwind from her with a few strategic yanks on a couple pieces of string. And heels that could have paid a month of her first apartment's rent. In a New York bar.

If her parents could see her now, they'd croak.

Bucky is so goddamn attractive in his dark leather jacket that it's un-fucking-real. The bastard looks softer with his hair down like that, and there's chest hair peaking out from that button-up he's left open to a torturous degree. It keeps distracting her every time he turns to say something to Steve. His hand is the only shiny part on display at the moment. 

The glory tales from Steve don't do the heartstopping aura justice. The fact that Bucky has had the nerve to lie—to her face no less—and say they're blown out of proportion makes her seethe sitting across from him now. No wonder he was prolific; how the hell could he not be with a face like that and the attitude to back it. Now that he's not in a professional headspace, the latter is coming out in spades. The super serum body is a mouthwatering, climbable bonus.

This is the man that keeps threatening to fly her home.

Ava takes a longer drink.

She hasn't been this in over her head since college. The familiar knee-jerk reaction of bullying him is the only thing that doesn't feel petrifying. Bucky is the last person that would make her feel unsafe, but good god, the man is intimidating. Trying to find something to say to him that isn't a joke is a lot harder than usual, with him looking that good.

Paige tuned out the moment Steve gave her meticulously outlined boxes to doodle in on an unfolded napkin. He's been adding detailed frames to them ever since while the two trade work stories. It makes Ava jealous. Her best friend might be oblivious, but at least she's not the one tongue-tied tonight.

Knocking her knees together under the table, Ava leans forward and tries another round of facing down the sergeant. "Worth the trip so far?"

Way to go, moron. Pressure him, why don't you? Of course he's having a good time; he wouldn't still be sitting here if he—

Bucky smiles at her, calming her nerves without even trying. "Every second." He looks down at the glass in her hand, then back up at her face. "You havin' fun, doc?"

She misses hearing him call her doll. It's starting to feel like maybe it was an accident the handful of times it happened. He hasn't done it in days. "Unlike you, I enjoy human interaction. Plus, the hippie thing makes me partial to loud noises." And sweat. And weed to make the loud noises sound better. And men with long hair and deep voices that would sound—

"I don't mind human interaction," he argues, folding his arms on the table and leaning over with her. "I'm just picky about the people I interact with."

"Awww," Paige coos at her side. "And we made the cut? I'm honored."

"You should be," Steve confirms with a smirk, his eyes never leaving the napkin under his hand. "He's not exaggerating."

"That's unusual for him," Ava jumps on Bucky with. She regrets it right up until he snorts and briefly covers his mouth with his hand. It's a real fuck up on his end; she takes it as an all-clear to do it to him again at her leisure. "The only people I've met with bigger heads are cardiologists."

"That's the second time you've brought them up," Bucky notes. She honestly can't remember the first, but it sounds accurate. They're fun to mock.

"Nice deflection, superstar." His eyes widen a fraction at her teasing, boosting her confidence. "Have you had the displeasure of meeting one? I'm allowed to be mean to them as a neurologist, by the way. Secret doctor pecking order and whatnot."

"If I have, I probably don't want to remember," he deadpans. Steve gives him a dirty look, but it makes Ava snort. The smug look Bucky gives her in return makes her stomach flip. "I wanna hear more about this secret doctor pecking order. How far up that chain are you?"

"I don't know, man. How far up is your brain?" 

Bucky's eyes shut in pain, and he smiles. "It's so hard to be proud of your ego when your awful puns surround it."

"You'll manage," she assures in a supportive tone. 

A low whistle drags Ava's eyes to one end of the table, where Natasha is getting up. "I'm going dancing. It's up to you losers who's coming."

A majority of the table, including most of Ava's team, moves to follow. She doesn't. Bruce and Hannah don't, continuing their discussion on a medical journal he read that morning. Bucky doesn't leave either.

He watches Ava as Paige leans over to kiss the top of her head. She's pretty sure he watches her all through their short yes, I'll watch your bag check-in. He's still watching her when she looks back at him, slowly circling his glass to make the whiskey inside it swirl.

"Not a fan of dancing?" he finally asks.

"I like dancing," Ava confirms. "I just like picking on you more." The words feel outrageously bold for how innocuous they are. It's the truth, but she feels a little stupid for saying it out loud. Whatever, if it means spending the night out with him, that's fine—

Bucky puts down his glass, a determined set to his posture. "Dance with me."

Her jaw almost drops. She doesn't catch her nervous burst of laughter in time to stop it. "I—what? You? Bucky Barnes, mister touch me and die himself wants to—"

"I let you touch me all the time." The tone he uses for the blatant—

Christ, is she ever in over her head.

She ignores his flirting like a coward, racing to hide behind professionalism as fast as her mouth can get her there. "The funny thing about that is I have your willing participation—"

"You've got my willing participation for this, too." He sounds like he means it, which is the worst part. It makes it impossible to bring herself to tell him no.

She hesitates one last time, primarily out of fear of embarrassing herself. "You're sure you want to dance?"

"With you?" Bucky stands up, allowing her to see the well-worn leather sitting low enough on his hips to turn her into a bigger wreck. "Yeah, doll. I'm sure."

Hannah leans over to slide the bag Paige left behind across the table, closer to her. She doesn't bother to stop talking. Bruce is smiling from ear to ear, stealing glances at her and Bucky. He's doing a terrible job of hiding it. 

Standing up on nervous feet, Ava watches Bucky circle the table. He offers up his flesh hand when he approaches her, his signature Brooklyn smirk on his face. "Ready?"

Fuck no. She slides her hand into his, breathing deeply when he squeezes her fingers. "I really hope someone's given you the memo on modern dancing because I have no idea what the hell you people did in the 30s." 

"I'm sure you'll help me figure it out." He's sounding more confident with every word, and it's scaring the absolute shit out of her. 

It's innocent at the start. Bucky's a perfect gentleman leading her through the crowd. He spins slowly to face her when he finds them a wide enough space, pulling her in close. The pressure of his fingers is barely there when his metallic hand moves to her lower back. Ava brings both her hands up to his chest when he lets go of one of them. 

"You'll tell me if you're uncomfortable, right?" she checks again, stretching up as close to him as she can. There's no way he has trouble hearing her over the music, but she doesn't remember that until she's all but hanging off him. It makes her cheeks feel warm.

His flesh hand moves over her hip, resting on it gently. Bucky leans down and turns his head in, getting right up to her ear. He's already starting to guide the direction of her half-hearted movements. "I will. You gonna do the same?"

"I will," she promises. Mirroring his words is the only thing her brain can come up with, given how unfairly good he smells. It's obliterating every train of thought she has. 

It is… terrifyingly easy to let herself go in his arms. The movement of her hips gets more involved, following the tempo of the song and the direction of his hand. Hers go up to his shoulders, bringing him in closer a fraction at a time. By the time the song changes, she gives up and lets them wrap around the back of his neck. 

Somewhere around the third song, when the bar's DJ is trying to ramp up into a faster energy, she ends up turned away from him. Ava isn't sure how it happened. It could have been his doing; she's not paying all that much attention. All she knows is he's pressed up against her back now, the hand on her hip moving towards her leg incrementally. Her head tilts off to the side as her eyes close, letting the Winter Soldier guide her.

His fingers stop their advance once they reach the top of the gap in her dress, the one that splits up her thigh. She gives him all of thirty seconds to figure out if he's brave enough to go further on his own. Then the ego boost from having Bucky—of all fucking people—trying to make a move on her wins out over her fear. 

Ava lays her fingers on top of the hand hesitating on her leg, urging it down. 

The first touch of his skin on hers makes them both suck in a breath. She can feel the tension in him against her back. He gets over his nerves faster after that. His hand glides down the length of her thigh, and his fingers curl under the fabric when it comes back up. Not all that far, but the intent is there.

In escalating boldness, she reaches for his metal hand, dragging it to rest at the top of her ribs. His nose comes brushing across her temple at that point, giving her an idea of how close he's keeping himself around her with her eyes closed. One of her hands goes up into his hair, and that's when things really go off the fucking rails.

His thumb moves in a wide arc, dragging across the underside of one of her breasts. Her fingers curl around his hair, and her head rolls in toward him. If she tilts it up, she could brush her nose against his; that's how far into her space he is. And then the hand on her thigh moves in.

The pounding music swallows up the slight sound it pulls from her, but she's willing to bet Bucky heard it. She leans back against him, making him freeze up momentarily. He's already moving again before her mind finally pieces together the why.

He's hard, Ava realizes.

With one hand under her tits and the other getting itself further between her thighs. With her ass pressed back against him. With his towering frame curled all the way around her.

Sergeant James Barnes is hard as a rock. For her.

—

How the hell he hasn't gotten his good arm ripped off yet, Bucky's not quite sure. It feels impossible that she's just... letting him do this. 

Spinning her around really fucked him over. He had been behaving pretty well up until then. He'd even managed to hold off on putting his hand as far down her back as that fucking dress allows for. But then he'd been dumb enough to turn her, and her head had relaxed off to the side, and god, it took every ounce of restraint he has not to kiss the length of her neck.

Now she's leaning back against him, fully aware of how wound up he is, and he can't figure out where to stop. She isn't slowing down any part of his stumbling. There's no new tension in her now that she's in the know about the current state of his cock. Her hips are still fucking moving, and now they're moving against him.

She's going to kill him tonight, probably right out here on this dancefloor. He just hasn't figured out if it's going to be murder or manslaughter.

He lets his left hand get bolder, trying to test the waters one last time before he lets his right one go any further. He moves it up, his thumb brushing over her nipple. He hears her pull in a shaking breath while it skims back down the side. She doesn't stop him, making him want to bite at her neck all over again. 

With no signs of her looking for an out, and not one shred of critical thinking or self-control left in his head, Bucky slides his hand further up the inside of her thigh. Her fingers tighten in his hair, nearly pulling on it at this point. All he has to do is hike up his thumb, and he'll get more information than he's probably ready to have. She could tell him to drop to his knees right here; he's mildly certain he'd do it. 

That dress is so goddamn thin. There's no weight to it at all. He can't spot the outline of anything, but he knows from how high her tits are sitting that she's got a bra on, at least. Another inch or two up with his thumb, and he'll be able to tell for himself if she came out tonight with underwear on. He's not entirely out of the goddamn loop; he knows skipping it is a much more common practice nowadays. 

Bucky's almost hoping his favorite hippie is the type. He's spent a lot of time fantasizing about ways to get her out of them. That doesn't mean he's not going to fucking lose it if his fingers don't find a strip of fabric between her legs. 

The flash of a new fantasy hits him, one of Ava letting him pin her to the alley wall out back with his head between her legs. If he takes her around the corner, he won't have to stop when the kitchen staff come out for a smoke break. If she does have underwear on, he can leave it in her mouth to keep her quiet. Or reach up to make her bite down on his fingers. With the serum and her height, it'd work like a dream.

The curiosity becomes a burning need, driving his hand all the way up. When he first touches her, it's not with his thumb, and it's not a gentle brush. He pushes his middle and index finger along the length of her lips, coming into contact with lace that's wet.

"Fuck." The word is choked when it tumbles out of him. He's coated his hand to the thought of her so many times over by now. And here she is, pushing herself up against him and just as worked up about it.

Her hand grips his arm tight enough to bruise in reaction. She doesn't push him away. God fucking help him, she doesn't stop moving either. Still, there's something about her body language that's not sitting right in his gut. She's not pushing him away. But she's not pulling him along anymore.

That's not always a stop sign. Bucky knows that. Some people like leaving the significant steps in the hands of their chosen partner. She's silently urged him to keep going a few times already. Assuming she wants that to continue isn't out of the question. But he's not the kind of man who's comfortable with that leap. Not anymore.

He moves his hand down an inch, leaving it between her legs. Not on top of the lace he wants to bite at. If she's interested, she'll put it back. Simple as that.

Bucky waits, holding her close with his metal arm around her ribs and his nose pressed into her hair while they dance. She's hesitating now, which has him convinced he made the right call. He's not self-wallowing enough to take it as a rejection. It's not like he'd been planning for this to go anywhere near as far as it did to begin with.

Her hand pulls at his hair in a way that feels conflicted. She tilts her head up, her eyes finally opening to look at him. Yeah, there it is. Right there in her eyes. It's finally catching up to her.

"I..." she tries, her mouth opening and closing a few times. "We can...."

"We can keep going," he finishes for her, not backing off from his hold on her. "We absolutely can. Or we can head to the bar and watch them make something with a cherry on it. I'm more than comfortable with both."

He watches her chew over the offered out, her eyebrows pulling in. He doesn't push her; he's not looking to make the call for her. If she wants him to get her off right here on this dancefloor, he's pretty damn sure he'd be willing at this point, even with the threat of criminal charges. He's also ready to let go and spend the rest of the night doing something that doesn't make her look torn. Even if it means ending it early.

"We should probably go to the bar." Probably. She doesn't sound happy about it, meaning it's fueled by her professionalism. He understands why she has the line. He respects the shit out of it.

"We probably should," he agrees. He doesn't move his hands. She hasn't moved hers. 

Her eyes move down to his mouth, and fuck does that do a number on his impulse control. He hopes she doesn't feel how it makes his cock jump. Ava Ryder wants to kiss him. It feels odd to celebrate that, considering where his fingers were a minute ago, but fuck. The girl of his dreams wants to kiss him.

"Let's go to the bar." The frustration in her voice almost makes him laugh. It definitely makes him smile as he turns his metal hand over to link with hers.

"You drink anything other than ale, doll?" He lets his fingers brush over the skin of her thigh reassuringly as he pulls it back out from under her dress. She looks so mad at the world, her face scrunching under her glasses. He wants to kiss her more than he's ever wanted anything in his life.

Ava takes a deep breath that she lets out with a huff. It looks like it cools off some of the annoyance. "My answer depends on how much of a narc you are, g-man."

He puts his arm around her shoulder, dragging her in close to his side. His friends will hand him his ass over this for a month, but he's not about to let her feel rejected. He's trying to respect a boundary, not ward her off. "Lucky for you, this g-man has medical strains growing in his room at the tower."

"There's no fucking way. You're telling me the Winter Soldier grows weed?"

"Are you tellin' me you buy yours? Chump."

She snorts hard enough to feel the need to cover her mouth. It makes Bucky feel damn good being able to make her laugh again that fast. "I can't believe I'm being ridiculed about the source of my pot by a senior citizen."

He holds back on reminding her that she was about to let a senior citizen stick his hand down her panties. "Has it convinced you to give up the inaccurate jokes about my job?"

"Inaccurate, he says! Don't you have a literal badge you can shove in people's faces?" Ava doesn't lean against the bar when they reach it. She stays pressed up against him while he leans on it, distracting the hell out of him. He looks down the line of people, searching for a bartender to give himself a second to refocus. "I think that's a pretty clear-cut definition of a fed."

"I think you're trying to find out if I've got a pair of cuffs handy." This is the other problem presented with her letting him go that far; it burned through what little filter he has. Now that he knows she's interested and not just humoring him, he's fucked. Hearing his own words still makes him wish he'd shut his damn mouth.

He hears her laugh in surprise again, but he's not brave enough to look at her yet. There's a momentary lull filled with the sounds of rowdy New Yorkers kicking off their weekend. Then he feels her head lean against his arm. "Something tells me you could improvise without them."

It's manslaughter. She's trying for manslaughter. By god, she's going to accomplish it if she says some shit like that again.

"I can improvise whenever you need me to." He finally looks back at her, catching her ogling his chest. Again. Her cheeks are a few shades darker. It's good to know he's not the only one reeling. "You should answer my question first, though. Unless you're looking to put in the order."

Her eyes finally flick up to his, and her smile turns shy before she looks away. "Surprise me. I burn more than drown. I'm sure you can think of a fun option to entertain me with."

Bucky should have guessed she'd give him a run for every cent he earned back when he still had his mojo. It feels like he's trying not to trip over himself while she's still getting warmed up. "One entertainment, comin' right up."

She gives him a look, doing a lousy job of holding back her amusement. "You don't get to complain about my puns if you're going to tell dad jokes like that."

"You're just jealous that mine are better." He finally flags down a bartender over her shoulder, throwing out an order for two Mai Tais. The only other cocktail he can think of off the top of his head is a Sex on the Beach, and he sure as shit doesn't have the balls to order that in front of her at the moment. A Moscow Mule is not a cocktail in his eyes. It's also not the kind of inappropriate he's looking for.

Ava's finger hooks into his front pocket, threatening to ruin every effort he's made toward getting his cock to calm the fuck down. "Some of your jokes are pretty great; I'll give you that. The dry ones make my day."

It feels backwards—and mildly alarming—to hesitate to brush her hair behind her ear for a moment. A few minutes ago, he'd been ready to go down on her in front of a room full of people. Now he's trying to find the nerve to touch her at all. Doing so gets easier when her eyes slip closed at the feeling of his fingertip moving down the side of her head. 

"Seeing you makes my day," he murmurs, not caring about letting his mouth run. It feels less intimidating in the wake of her compliment. God knows it's going to sit in his head. Probably forever. The fact that she probably can't hear it over the music certainly doesn't hurt.

Her eyes open back up slowly, with her smile taking on a wicked edge. "You feel like showing me your stash, old man?"

—

They haven't talked about it.

It's been less than an hour since they stopped dancing. In under sixty minutes, Bucky managed to get them a drink and all the way through Manhattan to the Avengers Tower. On a Friday, no less.

No wonder they threaten to revoke his license. Ava thought she was a speed freak behind the wheel. Now that she's got firsthand experience as his rear passenger, Bucky being allowed to have a motorcycle makes her question SHIELD more than ever.

He let her go up to the roof without him. He made it sound like he was doing her a favor by not making her go out of her way just to raid his stash with him. She's guessing it's got more to do with not being down for a surprise tour of his space. It's not as if she's going to fault him for it. 

The idea that she's actually going to let him fly her home after this is already hitting her nerves. If that's throwing her off, she has no clue where she's going to find the will to bring up the subject of—this. Tonight. What happened.

How far she was about to let it go.

He smells too good. She's decided to blame it on that, at least in her head. Mainly to make herself feel better about crossing that many ethical boundaries. It's easier than accepting that she was about to give a patient the go-ahead to finger her in the middle of a bar. Without so much as a word about it beforehand.

Ava pushes her hands under her glasses to hold her face, resisting the urge to scrub at it. She doesn't want to fuck up her makeup. Not while she still has to face Bucky. How stupid—and then she doubled down—god, now they're here, and he's getting weed—

"I was starting to think I'd never get you up here, doll."

The way his voice quells her anxious mind without any effort at all ties her stomach in a different kind of knot. She lowers her hands into her lap, giving him a half-smile. "I'd like to remind you that I'm the one who offered initially. And again tonight."

Bucky waves his free hand dismissively, his flesh one cradling a bag. "Semantics." He dumps it onto the wicker table she picked out herself. She hears glass hit metal, the sound muffled by the black cloth of the bag. "I didn't know if you were a bowl or a joint kinda gal. Figured I'd come prepared since I'm dealing with a degenerate commie."

"Steve was right about your manners," Ava insists, reaching out to open it with greedy fingers. She kicks her heels off under the table, getting distracted by the sight of him shaking his leather jacket off his shoulders. The man's tall enough to have to duck under the makeshift canopy built to account for Wyatt's height. "Tell me how many words you know for pot while I judge your choices."

"Are you forgetting they took me out for walks every few years?" Bucky walks around to her side and puts his jacket over her shoulders, surprising her. She looks up at him with a shy smile, momentarily forgetting the promise of weed picked out by a super soldier. He's such a gentleman that it's frankly obnoxious. One of his eyebrows raises at her. "Those walks included the 60s, young lady. I probably know more than you do."

"What do you remember about the 60s?" she goads as he sits down next to her.

"Plenty." Bucky props his arm up on the back of the couch, leaning into her space. She's grateful for it. Even with his jacket around her, it's freezing up here. The added warmth isn't the only reason she's grateful for it. "Personally, though, I think you would have had a better time in the 70s." He tilts his head back and forth a few times. "At least the parts of it I fucked around in."

The mental image of the Winter Soldier undercover in some sleazy disco hits her like a ton of bricks. It feels wildly inappropriate, even with him talking about it that openly. All the fantasies she has of Bucky do. Especially the ones she uses to get herself off lately. 

"I'm going to take your word for it," she murmurs. There's so much potential there to poke at him. He's offering up the bait on his end. Hell, there's still the list of weed names to dig for. But she can't get her mind to latch onto any of it with him this close.

He nudges his chin in the direction of her hands, which are still hovering in his little heap of paraphernalia. "You should start us up so I can get you home at a reasonable hour. I don't know how fast you like to—smoke."

It's astounding how good he is at riding the line between being a gentleman and a terror.

Ava looks back down at her hands with a smile. "That depends on the accuracy of your warning about this couch-locking me. Technically I'm off tomorrow, so I'm not about to say no."

"Do you smoke medicinal strains?"

"On occasion. I started for anxiety, oddly enough. Then I noticed it helped with my mood overall." She shrugs, setting aside his box of hemp papers. There's a heavy-looking grinder and two different pipes further in. One of them's a goddamn steamroller. He sticks with quality from what she can see so far. "I feel like there's a bong that was held back from this collection."

"There's a lot that was held back. I'm not gonna parade all my ill-gotten goods through the tower." His pauses while she gets the last of it emptied out." You gonna show me how it's done or put me to the test?"

"Definitely the latter." She turns her head to smile at him innocently, pushing her glasses up her nose. It makes his lips twitch. "I don't see anything to assist rolling. Does that mean you're confident enough to show me your handiwork?"

Bucky scoffs, his expression becoming entirely unimpressed. He almost looks offended, leaning over to grab the papers and the grinder. "You're telling me you people need tools these days? After all the work I put into teaching Captain America how to do it properly?"

Ava's brows shoot up in shock. "You're fucking kidding. I figured the weed was a new development—"

"Nah, I've been smoking since my first job." He's not watching his hands much as he lays out the foundation of his work. He's primarily watching her. "Worked for a guy that owed a corner store. He had family that ran a not-so-secret farm." He turns the grinder lid enough to loosen it, then flicks it to spin it the rest of the way off with a cocky grin. "I was an outstanding employee. So was Steve once I got him hired."

"America's Sweetest Stoners," Ava coos, making him chuckle. He's not stingy about what he's rolling for them. It makes her wonder how many plants he's got set up. "Do the two of you still smoke together?"

"He doesn't bother much. Takes a lot to build up any kind of buzz with our systems, so he looks at it the same way he does drinking at this point. He still shows up whenever Banner drops off some new hybrid monstrosity for me to try." Bucky glances over at her quickly, his fingers never stopping their work. "This is from one of the normal plants, don't worry. I won't start you off that far in the deep end."

Ava shrugs. Banner's main lab is here in the tower, so there's no chance the process isn't documented. JARVIS wouldn't let her use anything that could do her actual harm. "You can if you want, but you're responsible for explaining to Tony why I'm passed out on his roof."

He gives her the most insulted look. "I wouldn't leave you up on the roof. I'd be enough of a gentleman to carry you inside."

He's ruining her life. There's no way she's going to be able to walk away from tonight without being completely wrapped around his finger. It makes her smile at him like a hopeless fucking moron. "I believe you."

Bucky brings the most well-balanced joint she's ever seen up to his mouth, licking it closed in one smooth stroke. His eyes never leave hers. It makes her swallow. The fucker smirks at her and twirls the joint between his fingers, holding it out for her inspection.

"Well?" he prompts, watching her intently as she plucks it from his hand. He's preening. Waiting for his praise.

Goddamn him, she's going to have to give it to him. The joint is so perfectly rolled it's mesmerizing. Even distribution, not pulled overly tight, and meticulously sealed. She can't remember the last time she managed to do a job half that good. Bowls have always been her go-to. It's clear that this is his.

Ava giggles at the absurdity of it all. It feels surreal to be a step away from lighting up with a cyborg PoW she first read about in primary school. "You're such a dork. Shut up and hand over the lighter before your head explodes from being over-inflated."

"Now I know I did a damn good job by today's standards." For the second time that night, she gets the overwhelming urge to kiss Bucky as he reaches for the lighter. She props the joint between her lips to distract herself and lets him light it for her when he silently offers. The flame does stunning things to the color of his eyes in the dark. "You only tell me to shut up when you're really impressed with me."

She doesn't miss that he waited until she started inhaling to make the point. It makes her roll her eyes in exasperation. Ava can tell from the first drag that his shit is going to hit harder than her usual. She turns her head to blow it away from his face, handing back the joint. He tucks it between his fingers and brings it up to his mouth in one smooth motion.

"Now look who's outright lying. I tell you to shut up for various reasons." The muscles in his neck look unfairly good when he turns to exhale. It makes her want to run her tongue up his throat. She looks back up at his face. Everything below his chin is hazardous to her health at the moment. "I don't remember any of them being because I was impressed until now."

His eyes flick back to hers, then down to her mouth as he smiles. His hand was up her dress. It was between her legs only an hour ago. And yet watching him stare at her mouth still feels obscene. "You've got a real funny way of stroking my ego, doll."

"I get the feeling you enjoy it," Ava counters, snatching the joint from his fingers. "I wouldn't do it otherwise. You're always welcome to suggest an alternative."

"No, thanks. I'm a pretty big fan of what you do to me." 

Damn. Him.

Yes, the question was a check-in. Yes, she was trying to get a read on how far he wants this to go. Then he had to go and double down without hesitation. She knows by now what door he's trying to invite her through. 

Ava is so not brave enough for this conversation. It's not—it's complicated. She really shouldn't be working on his case if they're going to go down this road, at least not as his primary surgeon. She'll have to pass it on to Hannah and have a few very embarrassing conversations with a handful of people. Ones that involve fessing up to wanting to fuck Bucky Barnes.

She's not saying no. But she's not brave enough to say yes. At least not tonight, up here on the roof.

Ava leans back against the couch, feeling his arm curl in around her shoulders. "Good. Let me know if that changes."

—

u dont get to yell at me for the edging, i warned u that im gonna leave an * on smut chapters. anything less than Full Fuckin aint gettin the badge 😤 i have a Standard to uphold in this house of sin

(tho if anyone feels there shoulda been a warning tag for smthing you can always lemme know bb 💞)

also ill never be able to properly articulate how much i love writing cranky old fart bucko. heartstopper is stupid fun, feral trauma man keeps me on my toes, but stick-shaking geezer mode??? mr. “kids these days with their MEMES” himself??? beautiful. fantastic. superb. his final form, truly 🤌 i yearn to write more of it

anyways there are writers on the internet that can make their slow burn wholesome. in all my years on this space rock of ours, ive never been one of them

even if i do write the longfic of the sunshine dweebs steve and paige, that probably wont be all that wholesome of a slow burn either ajdhdskjfdjsjf. they ARE my tooth rotting fluff ship tho. mmm okay so maybe paige is a tragedy in disguise but its ME so thats expected 😌 the babes that like their romance extra sappy and cutesy take a lotta shit and deserve a Safe Space and steve rogers fits that bill, imho

bucky is for the babes that like to verbally get their hair pulled before hearing ily 🥰

the good news is, i get a few more chapters in this fic to torture you with before i let bucko and ava do the Big Sin (not murder, the other one. no, not hand holding, the other other one) 😌💖💞

also PieAnnamay's comment reminded me that i never linked my fav buckaroo fic, safe with me!!! for anyone else that hasnt stumbled upon bitsandbobsandstuff, i cant recommend them enough. i HIGHLY encourage you to go read through all their works while you’re waiting for updates on this, the bucky and steve fics are 😫🤌 perfection (i promise when i finally have a day to really do tumblr stuff, ill make a list of my fav fics/writers in my pinned post. i promise i will try to get to it Soon, i still havent even caught up on chapter posts there asldhfsadf)

❤️ https://archiveofourown.org/works/13798047/chapters/31721565

[clown-jesus]

Rate your fav rabbits!!!

13 is so comfortable to be around that i consider them more family than my actual family! theyre funny and fun to be around, totally goof dork, but can be serious when needed. 13 an absolute fave who i love too much and sincerely hope nothing happen to them EVER. 10/10!

18 is our DEAR LEADER who i was angling to vote for even before trial 3. ok she’s mature at times when needed and (tries to) keep our warren on task, and has a pretty Bomb job at doing that. shes also smart as fuck!! BUT she also is super funny and witty and a blast to talk to, i especially like talking to her because she’s extremely quotable and has said things like “stop faffing about” and “owo” and honestly we couldnt have asked for a more appropriate leader ♡ 10/10

19 is the crown jewel of the lops! absolute baby! nothing can hurt her or imminent death is to be expected. not that anyone would want to hurt 19, she’s so kindhearted and loveable that its a little hard to say anything even remotely mean to her. i would protect her with my life and deglove the hands of anyone who tries anything. i worry sometimes she’ll let the divisions take advantage of her friendliness, but that hasn’t been the case and she has established I N T E R N A T I O N A L  P E A C E between the lops and both divisions. 10/10!

59 is so valid and it feels like theyve always been apart of our division. the moment they got in they were immediately adopted by the warren and are now my Pseudo Sibling alongside Thirteen. we’ve had 59 for maybe a month and i would commit so many crimes for our lil bun. 9/10!

56 was a recent friendship and everytime he came onto NML i pissed in fear but also in Yearning for Friendship. he has chaotic òwó energy and i Appreciate that kind of vibe. we’re also aussie buddies!! soon we will be bffs just u wait. turns out he wasn’t even SCARY he was just a lil intense, he’s a big funny goofball but knows when 2 cooperate and we will play minecraft together and it will be LEGENDARY. 7/10 only because im still on that Fear High hehehehehe

79!!! 79 my bff!!!! my very important person!!!! u absolute nut!!!!! he comes from a chaotic division but may be the most feral out of them all!!! the moment i saw u in NML i knew we were in for a Long Life Journey 2gether. i would die for u, 79, but i would arm wrestle u for pocket change. he’s got a great sense of humour and its hard to be sad when hes around livin his gremlin life and thrivin in chat!!! nothing but the best for u buddy, i love you much!! 9/10!

88 has distinct tired dad vibes about him, which is probably because he’s out here babysitting 79 hehehe. at first he seemed really reserved and sad but i guess thats all that Leader Of The Rabid Division stuff catching up on him. deep down i know he’s also feral, but u can’t be repressed for long 88. and i will be there when u finally Become Gremlin. i will be there. on the sidelines. cheering u on. 7/10!

81! theyre apart of the Mysterious Intimidating And Gora division, and i think thats exactly where they belong. theyre mysterious, but not exactly intimidating. i like how they talk in paragraphs and sound like a really confused anime protagonist, i support that so much! theyre also nice to 19, and 19 seems to like them a lot so they can’t be bad. i quote “theyre a funny rab. we’re adopting 81!” 6/10

4! 4 was my lop assigned Parent, and i miss our talks. she was funny and contributed a lot not only in Relationship Building but the tasks either HABIT or mr A had set for us. she was definitely a valued member of our warren, and it’ll be sad to not see her apart of our casual conversation in lops . but at least she’s not completely gone and we can see her in NML, quizzing mr A like an absolute unit! here’s to being the only active lop ghost! 8/10

89 told us to swallow eggs once and that shit HURTED me real bad, ive never been the same since. 4/10

82 is a feral! not as feral as 79, but definitely getting there. this high energy doof reps the dwarves PERFECTLY with his rabid banter and such. them and 79 are a TERRIFYINGLY POWERFUL combination and could probably destroy the whole project if ur not careful!!! my heart goes out to u, 88. bless u.... 7/10!!

[themadauthorshatter]

Toppat!Charles Part 5!!

GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH TOPPAT!CHARLES!?

Thank you all so much for your patience with this one, like I said, I've been going through a lot in my personal life, though things are getting better. 

If you haven’t read the previous parts you can find them HERE: 

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

ENOUGH ABOUT ME! TIME FOR THE RECAP:

Henry has taken the CCC's offer, despite opposition from Galeforce, Ellie, and even Daddy Dearest Terrence Suave.

Meanwhile, Right has polished up Charles and set him up in an actual room for a change of pace.

Not really a headcanon this time but a MASSIVE, MASSIVE trigger warning for torture, violence, and a trauma truck load of angst; we're focusing more on Charles this part since he was more of a cameo in Part 4.

Got that? GREAT!

LET'S BEGIN!

Like before we pick up where Part 4 left off, but with Charles in his new room across from Right, who has taken his position at a desk chair and is calmly talking to Charles. If this were a movie, we would only hear the music score before getting a close up of Right saying something to Charles, who reacts by raising his eyebrows and widening his eyes.

"What?"

Right sighs as he rubs the non-cybernetic half of his head. "Do I got to repeat everything to everyone?" He recomposes himself and meets Charles once more, the pilot shaking his head as he curls his knees into his chest and holds his hands on either side of his head.

"No. No, no, no, nononono. I can't do that. You can't make me."

"So you'd rather go back to rotting in your cell?" Right asks as he raises an eyebrow. "I'm offering you the chance to have some form of freedom and you're willing to throw it away for your stupid government?"

Charles keeps his head down, but clenches a fist. "They'll get me out of here. Just wait and see."

Right grabs Charles's ankles and throws them down before grabbing his jaw, forcing his to look up. Thhe two are inches away from each other and Charles's instincts are telling him to run since fighting hasn't exactly worked out for him.

"Look at where you are and what's been happening. Any time the government tried sending a destroyer, it didn't work. You were left alone in that cell with nothing but your shadow on the wall to talk to. You have a chance to get out and not have to deal with that anymore. You're seriously going to turn it down because you think the government's coming to rescue you? Taking my offer would get you out a lot quicker. "

Charles only glares into Right's human eye before doing a very ungentlemanly and dumb thing by spitting in his eye. (Unsanitary as well, I might add. Really, Charles, get with the program!)

Right backs away slightly, though it's more like an angry flinch because he recoils and then freezes.

Charles, however, keeps his glare as his wipes his mouth off with his sleeve. "Never."

Right is still for a moment before backhanding Charles with his cybernetic hand, not enough to seriously injure him, i.e. a broken jaw or knocking him unconscious, but it does leave him seeing stars and in a good state of, 'that hurt a lot more than it should.'

Right stands back, takes out a handkerchief, wipes his face off, and then pockets said handkerchief before folding his hands behind his back.

"You'll come to your senses. If you can wait, so can I."

With that, Right leaves the room just as Charles picks himself up, rubbing his cheek.

"See you tomorrow, Charles."

As the door closes behind Right, Charles's face and the room's temperature drop.

Cut to Right, who is leaving the hall and going to that room we saw in the Free Man ending, that cafeteria- like room with the big window overlooking Earth.

JUMP TO THE NEXT "MORNING"

Charles is sound asleep in his bed when a pair of toppats come in. One stays by the door and the other wakes up Charles.

The pilot, due to being out-strengthed and delirious from sleep, is pulled out of his room and can barely keep up with the toppats as they drag him to a different room.

In Charles's perspective, the world is dark and he keeps drifting in and out of sleep. He eventually opens his eyes to see he's back in the jungle, by the crashed helicopter. Right is nowhere to be seen, but Charles does see someone else, someone that he ACTUALLY happy to see. As in he smiles and tears up.

"Henry?"

Henry stands still as he stares at a growingly flustered Charles, who races toward him.

"Henry! Man, are you a sight for sore eyes! You have no idea what these guys've done. C'mon, let's go-"

Just as Charles is about to hug Henry, he holds a hand and stops Charles in his tracks.

"Hen... Henry?"

Henry's face turns from blank to angry or annoyed and he shakes his head, backing away.

Charles tries to follow him, but he can't. When he looks, he sees his feet are sunken into the ground and panics.

"Henry! Help! I-I think I stepped in quicksand!"

Henry only backs away further, now glaring at Charles.

"HENRY, PLEASE! SAY SOMETHING!"

Henry finally approaches him and leans close to his his face.

Before he can say anything, Charles's breath catches and he quickly finds he can no longer breathe. 

Charles tries gasping and exhaling, but only blows bubbles out of his mouth. 

The jungle fades away into a very dim grey, almost falling. Henry falls away with it, much to Charles’s fear. 

The pilot tries reaching for Henry and is pulled away, seeing as Henry swims further away from him.

Charles gasps for real this time as he is pulled out of a tub of water and focuses his gaze on Right, who is standing over him with his arms folded behind his back. 

“Good morning. Sleep well?’” 

Charles tries to push himself away the tub only to find his hands are either tied or handcuffed behind his back, I’m noting an ‘either’ here because while I can see Right using handcuffs or restraints like the ones we see in the Free Man ending, to save on resources and because Charles is already pretty weak, he’d probably just use a rope.

The toppats that woke him up and dragged him here both hold his shoulders, one holding the back of his collar. 

Charles glares at Right and struggles against his bonds, but he stays quiet. 

Right sniffs and nods at the two holding Charles. “Give ‘im a wash.” 

The one holding his collar grips his hair, yanking it and making Charles follow his movement before dunking him back into the water. 

Right watches as Charles struggles both above and below the water, mildly impressed that he’s still strong enough to the point that the two toppats are having a hard time holding him under. If this were a movie or a game cutscene, the camera would hold on Right’s face, resolute and expressionless, and all we would here would be the score and Charles struggling. Right blinks and an icon appears on his cybernetic eye, a solid circle with a ring around it. 

A camera. 

After a while, Charles’s movements slow and nearly stop completely, bubbles leaving his mouth and nose. 

Right nods at the toppats pull him up.

If that first dunk didn’t wake up and alarm Charles, this certainly did. 

Charles gives one of those loud gasps and coughs up water as he catches his breath. 

Once his breathing goes at least to where he’s not huffing and puffing, he feels one of the toppats grip his hair again. He fights against him, but is ultimately pushed back into the water. 

The partner repeats itself for a while. 

Dunk his head in the water, wait for him to stop struggling, pull him out and wait for him to just about get his breathing normal, rinse and repeat. 

After maybe a half an hour of this, Right notices Charles has started shivering after his last dunk and is having a hard time getting his breathing even. 

“Enough. Get ‘ im to a medic.”

They do so, and Charles follows with barely any strength to keep up.

The next day isn't any better. 

The toppats are ordered to sit Charles in a chair, his hands on the rests, his head in a restraint, and his eyes held open with something like reverse clamps; if you’ve seen or read A Clockwork Orange, you’ll know what I’m talking about. 

Right takes a seat next to him, a medic on his other side to keep his eyes hydrated, and the two watch a simple movie. 

Just a nice, sit down, home cinema night 😁😊

JUST KIDDING! NO THEY DON’T! 

“You seem too confident your government’s gonna save you.” Right turns his head to the screen and folds one leg over the other. “Let me remind you what they’ve done to us.” 

Charles follows his gaze as the film begins. 

I’m guessing the Toppat Clan has been around for a while, based on how many paintings/pictures of the leaders we see in Completing the Mission, so there would be PLENTY of news footage of the government using any means necessary to arrest any toppats they can get their hands on. 

The film Charles watches is nothing short of horrifying. I won’t go into detail, but just know that it’s pretty disturbing. Like, psychologically messed up. 

Charles is forced to watch as members of the government, something HE WORKS FOR, arrest, torture, and execute Toppat Clan members in extremely violent ways. 

Right is quiet as he watches because he’s seen this tape on more than one occasion; he also watches as a reminder as to why he joined the toppats to begin with. 

Charles, however, isn’t exactly that. After watching a clip of seeing a government official gun down a group of new toppat recruits, he finally snaps. 

“STOP IT!” Charles cries as he struggles in his chair and restraint, much to the annoyance of the medic. “PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!” 

Right’s attention is now on the pilot as he continues screaming and crying, watching quietly as he takes note of his work. 

Charles screams as loudly as he can as the film keeps rolling, unable to look away as the government is practically used against him. 

Right uses this pattern for a LONG while. One day, Charles is physically tortured and the next he is shown more footage of the government hunting down toppats. 

This cycle is continued until, after maybe three months(it doesn’t seem like it’d be that long, BUT TRUST ME, IT CAN BE), when the toppats come for Charles, they find him standing, waiting for them. 

This time is different, though. 

Right is with them and approaches the empty eyed, silent Charles. 

“Learned your lesson?” 

Charles nods. 

Right holds out his hand, a smirk on his face. 

“Whaddaya say, kid? You want in?” 

CUT TO HENRY

Our multilived friend is lying in bed, having a very fitful sleep. I keep jumping to what we would see if we were watching a movie, but trust me on this, I think you'll really like this one.

In this dream, Henry stands in the middle of four mirrors, a different "ending" of him in the side mirrors and the ine behind him. In front of him is himself, on his left is the Toppat King ending of himself(I'm just calling him Toppat Henry), on his right is the Toppat Recruit endimg of himslef(Recruit Henry), and behind him is his Revenged self.

"You should've taken that offer," Toppat Haenry chides.

"Charles would've been safe, if you did," Recruit Henry adds with a shrug.

Henry hears his Revenged self cough behind him and hears his augmentations whirring. "We wouldn't be friends, if that happend."

"And that bothers you?" Toppat Henry laughs.

"Think about it," Recruit Henry says very smugly. "Since when have you needed friends?"

"Escaping the wall-"

"You got out alone before," Toppat Henry says with a tap to his hat.

Henry jumps when he hears glass shattering and turns to see his Revenged self has punched his mirror and cracked it.

"King, recruit, theif, it doesn't matter," he gurgles as blood oozes out if his mouth. "A toppat never keeps his word."

Revenged Henry hits hus mirror again and causes it to shatter, forcing our Henry to jump back and crash into his own mirror-

Henry wakes up and looks around his room, shaken and stirred. He checks his arm and back before sighing and hugging his knees to his chest.

"I hate when that happens."

Man, that was a psychedelic ending!

BUT THAT’S A WRAP ON TOPPAT!CHARLES PART 5!!!! 

This took a very, very, very, very, very, very, VEEEEERY long time, but here it is! 

Thank you all so much for your patience and following this series. I am having such a blast writing this, you have no idea. 

Thank you all for reading! Stay safe out there! And HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!🦃🦃🦃