#THREAD; ( MORGAN )

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[naughtyneganjdm]

Threads of Desire: A Christmas to Remember - Chapter 5

Summary: Upset about the conversation that he had with Maggie, Negan shows up at Y/N's house hoping to convince her to quit her job and a lot of their feelings come to light.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Daryl Dixon, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/158656765

Warnings: Swearing, Cheating, Angst, Smut, Heavy Touching, Unprotected P in V, etc.

Notes: Real sorry about taking a break on this. The holiday season is nuts, but I'll do my best to put up the rest of the story as soon as I can.

It had been a long time since Y/N had been this exhausted. Sure, it had been a rough few days, but this was not what she was accustomed to. Maybe it was from all the stress of everything going on. Stress was something she had grown used to, but never at these levels. When she got home today, she just crashed. She laid down on the couch and that was it. She didn’t even eat. All she remembered was walking in the door, tossing her stuff aside and falling onto the couch. Next thing she knew, she was out cold and didn’t even wake up until she heard what she thought to be the sound of someone knocking on her door.

Groaning out, she lifted her head and looked back over her shoulder at the door. Whoever was there was impatient. Laid out on her stomach, she realized that she had been sleeping face first with her head buried into the throw pillow that was at the end of the couch. All around her, the apartment was pitch black except for the small glow of the automatic light that turned on in the dark in her kitchen and the light coming from her clock.

More than anything, her body wanted to go back to bed. It needed the rest and it longed for it. Everything had been brutal on her body lately. From the lack of sleep to the destruction of her mental health. It wasn’t doing her any favors.

That wasn’t going to happen with the continued knocking though. It wasn’t just a light knock, it was an emotional knock. Which told her whoever was at the other side of the door thought they had some important reason to be there.

Pulling herself up into a seated position on the couch had an involuntary groan escaping her. Sleeping on the couch was not the best of ideas. Everything hurt. Curling her fingers around the edge of the cushion, she tried to coach herself into standing up. Sighing, she managed to gather enough strength to stand. A rushing sensation went to her head and she needed to take a minute until she was steady on her feet. Moving across the apartment, she turned on the light switch and winced at the bright lights flooding her vision.

Hearing another loud sequence of knocks had her looking to the time again. It was two in the morning. What the hell was so important that someone had to be here? And who the fuck was it?

A sense of anger was flooding her veins. It was probably over the fact that she was tired and that she had been woken up from her deep sleep, but she couldn’t control that tired rage. Heading for the door, she unlocked it and then irately pulled it open, “What the hell do you want?”

Exhaling loudly, she felt her throat tensing up with the familiar hazel eyes locking with hers. That was a time where she should have held in her emotions again. Clasping tightly to the door, she gazed over Negan. He was completely disheveled wearing his pajama pants, a bulky winter coat and a pair of boots. What he was wearing was completely mismatched and it looked like he had thrown it on quickly. His hair was messy and he looked extremely fatigued himself.

Straightening up her posture, she noticed that Negan was breathing heavily as he stood before her. His shoulders were slouched and he looked incredibly upset. Stepping into the hallway, she looked both ways realizing that he was alone.

“Negan?” she breathed out, her eyes locking with his in a state of panic. It struck her in that moment what it could have been. Coming to her home, dressed like this? Emotionally banging at her door like he had been. “What are you doing here? Is Jordyn okay? Is something wrong?”

“Jordyn is fine. She’s alright!” Negan was quick to calm her, holding his hands up in the air. By the expression over her tired features, Negan could tell that he had her worried over his daughter and that was the last thing he wanted. Fear obviously ate away at her because she had no idea why he would show up at her apartment at this time of night. “She’s back at the house sleeping in her bed. I checked on her before I came over here.”

“You left her alone?” she wondered, her fingers curling around the handle of the doorknob. She was perplexed why he was there so late. “She’s still a baby Negan. She shouldn’t be left alone. What were you thinking?”

“She’s not alone,” Negan assured her trying to ease her worries. Reconsidering it, Negan tipped his head to the side and huffed. “Maggie is there. I mean they are both sleeping, but I’ll be back before anyone can get in trouble. You know that I have the security cameras in my home linked to my phone. If anyone gets up and starts moving around, I’ll know.”

“Leaving her with Maggie is pretty much the same thing as leaving her alone,” she frowned, hating the idea that Jordyn was at home alone with Maggie. Leaning her shoulder against the doorframe, she knew she just wanted to get to the point. There was a tension in her head that likely came from the lack of sleep. “What are you doing here Negan?”

“I uh…” Negan paused, looking down the hallway of her apartment building. His face scrunched up and he shrugged his shoulders. “We really need to fucking talk. I want to talk to you.”

“And this couldn’t wait until tomorrow? Or you couldn’t just call me?” she wondered, her hand sliding down the length of the door. In the past? She was desperate for Negan’s attention. Now that she had it, she wasn’t so sure that she wanted it. It was only making things more complicated.

“Would you have answered?” Negan asked, a muscle in his jaw flexing expressing to her that he was stressed. After all the years she had spent around Negan? She easily learned what he was thinking or feeling by his expressions. Taking a moment to consider things, she stepped aside and motioned him into her apartment. Giving her a weak smile, Negan entered and started to pull off his jacket once he did. Under the jacket he was wearing an old rock band t-shirt. Holding out her hand, she requested him to give her his jacket so she could hang it for him. Turning toward him, she saw that he was taking off his boots so he didn’t get her apartment messy. After he finished, she realized that he was gazing over her body. By the way his thick eyebrows furrowed, she knew that he was perplexed. “When did you get home?”

“Hours ago. I was just exhausted,” she admitted knowing that he was referring to the fact she was still wearing the dress that Guy had requested her to wear earlier. “I just laid down and I crashed.”

Nervously flattening out the material of the dress against her body, she pointed toward her bedroom and yawned again, “Can you wait here so I can go change? Unless this is urgent.”

“No, I can wait,” Negan responded with a quick nod, pushing his hands into the pockets of his pajama pants. Standing before him a moment longer, she didn’t even know what this was about. Part of her wished that she did so it didn’t make her feel so awkward being around him. 

“Can you?” she turned away from Negan, pointing toward the zipper for help. Hearing him moving behind her, she knew she could have managed to get it down herself, but having Negan’s help was just easier. Closing her eyes, she felt the warmth of Negan’s fingers dragging across her shoulder. Tugging at the zipper had the material parting with her looking over her shoulder. Giving her a small nod, Negan backstepped trying to give her some space. “Thank you.”

Heading toward her bedroom, she pushed the door open when she entered. Working the material of the dress down her body, she knew that she wanted to be careful with this. Earlier she had caught a glimpse at how much this dress cost and she didn’t want to ruin it. Especially since Guy Vixen himself had bought it for her as a gift of some kind.  

Walking toward her closet, she glanced over at the partially opened bedroom door to see Negan standing at the back of the couch. The way that he was standing was in such a fashion that he could watch her change. His weight was balanced on his hand that was braced on the couch. When their eyes locked, he let out a panicked sound. Pulling his hand away from the couch had him falling forward to the point she no longer saw him but heard the sound of him hitting the ground.

“Jesus!” she moved out of her room, holding the dress to her chest in attempts to cover up in some way. Not that it mattered considering he had already seen her naked earlier. When she got into the room, Negan was already pushing himself up onto his hands and knees. Immediately nodding, Negan scrambled to his feet and brushed his fingers nervously through his messy hair. Already he was incredibly red from being embarrassed. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, yeah. I’m perfect. Fucking great,” Negan assured her, his voice raspier than it normally was. Forcing himself to look away from her, Negan growled under his breath and a slew of curse words followed. “Totally meant to do that.”

“Right,” she couldn’t help but laugh with the prominent vein at the side of his neck bulging. This was a time where she could have teased him that she caught him watching her change, but he was already upset enough as it was. She didn’t want to push her luck. “I’m going to finish changing. And then I’ll be back. Try not to knock anything over this time, okay?”

A fake laugh was forced from Negan’s throat with him moving around the couch to sit down. Burying his head in his hands, she could tell that Negan was talking to himself but she couldn’t hear what he was saying. Shaking her head, she moved back to her bedroom and was quick to hang up the dress. Throwing on a quick pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt, she knew that she wasn’t out to impress. It was two in the morning. He would be fine if she was in pajamas since he was in his too. When she was done, she headed back into the living room to join Negan.

“Can I get you anything?” she offered, moving around to her Christmas tree to turn the lights on. The living room area lit up with all the things she had decorated making a weak smile tug at Negan’s features when he was surrounded by the glow. Preferring that to the actual lights, she moved over toward the switch to turn the main light off. There were enough decorations for them to be able to see one another underneath the glow of them. “Water? Hot chocolate? Some ice for that fall?”

“Fuck me, you’re not gonna let that go are you?” Negan scoffed, his nose wrinkling in frustration when she started to laugh. “It was a miscalculation of where to balance my body weight. I’m tired. I’m fucking sorry.”

“Yeah, okay,” she made it obvious that she didn’t believe him. And he knew that his lie was a shitty one. Really, she didn’t want to make things weird. Pointing out that she caught him staring at her changing was not going to enhance their friendship. Moving around the coffee table that was in front of the couch, she took a seat at the opposite end of it. Getting comfortable, she tucked her leg underneath her so she could face him. “So, what are you doing here at two in the morning? What couldn’t wait?”

“Did you have sex with Guy?” Negan stammered causing her to choke at the immediate question he so simply blurt out. That was not a question that he was embarrassed of. It was one that he was obviously worried about because his eyes seemed upset. “Tonight, when Maggie came over, we were talking about you. This whole job thing. She also stressed to me that she thinks Guy is only doing what he is because he wants to have sex with you.”

“I didn’t realize my sex life was so important to yours and Maggie’s relationship,” she chimed in, smirking at her smartass remark. Negan however was not impressed with what she had just said. Rolling her eyes, she tipped her head to the side and knew that Negan wanted a genuine answer from her. “I did not have sex with Guy. If you would have asked Maggie that question, you would have known that I left before Maggie and Guy did today. He dismissed me when they were still finishing something.”

Relief flooded throughout Negan’s body and it blew her away how easily she could tell that a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, “That’s why you came all the way out here in your pajamas? To ask me if I had sex with Guy Vixen?”

“No. Well, yes. But…no?” even Negan didn’t seem to know the answer to that question. His face twisted with frustration, his fingers sinking nervously into his messy hair while he tried to slick it back. Gathering his thoughts, Negan swallowed down hard and considered what the best thing to say next was. Shaking his head, he inhaled loudly with his back becoming straighter with the way he was sitting. “I think you should quit your job.”

“And why is that?” she breathed out, biting down at her bottom lip as Negan turned his body to now face her at the opposite end of the couch. This was something that seemed to be weighing heavy on him and she didn’t know how to approach the conversation. “I thought you said this was a good thing. That I should take advantage of what was happening.”

“Well I changed my mind,” Negan asserted, holding his hand up to silence her from reminding him of what he had said to her earlier. “I don’t think Guy is doing this out of purity. I don’t think he cares to see your talents. He just wants to fuck you. And I think him taking advantage of you while holding the promise of the job you want over your head…”

“Do you think I would sleep with someone in order to get the job that I wanted?” she wondered, reaching for the throw pillow that was between the two of them to hold it in her arms.

“I don’t know,” Negan was honest with her, his jaw flexing. There was a sense of worry that flooded his veins that she would get mad at him for saying that. “You are really depressed and upset. If someone offered you everything you wanted just by asking for sex from you…I think most people would take that deal. Don’t you?”

“I think that’s a very debatable topic,” she suggested, throwing one of her hands up in the air and it had Negan shifting uncomfortably. “I can handle Guy Vixen, Negan. You don’t have to worry about me. I know he wants to have sex with me, but I won’t act on it. I’m not someone who will have sex with my boss to get the job that I want.”

“Okay,” Negan sucked in a sharp breath of air, his thick eyebrows furrowed. A nervous expression flooded his features before he licked his lips nervously again. “It’s really not that simple though. I just…I don’t think you should be working for Maggie anymore.”

“Oh?” that one was a surprise to her. Truthfully? She didn’t know what to say to that. “And why is that?”

“It doesn’t matter why,” Negan thought back to the conversation that he had earlier with Maggie. Ever since they had it, he wasn’t able to put his brain to rest. There were some things he didn’t feel like he had to tell Y/N in order to get her away from that job. “I’ve been thinking about things with my career. And there is this person that has been coming to me a lot about a job. I kept telling him that I had to think about it. I didn’t know if I wanted to get back into the movies. But, I was thinking that if you want, I can take the job under the stipulation that if I sign on they have to hire you as the lead in the costume department. Or whatever job you want. I don’t even know if you want to focus on costuming. Whatever you want though, we can be a packaged deal.”

“Wait,” she waved her hands about to get him to stop rambling on about things. “You’re offering me a job now working in the film business?”

“I’m offering you a job in the film business if I’m able to sign onto something with the stipulation I bring you with me,” Negan stated, giving her a firm nod that had her muttering something under her breath. “It’s what you were asking me for the other day. A way into the film industry. So you can get away from Maggie and Vixen. A new chance at a life you always wanted.”

“You can offer me that today, but you couldn’t do that the other day?” she spoke up, her chest aching hearing what Negan was attempting to offer her. The other night at the event the college was holding he was pretty insistent that it was impossible for him to get her a job. “What changed in two days Negan?”

“I was looking at my options and I decided I agreed with you. You deserve to have a life doing something that you love,” Negan responded, his hand lifting to press in over the center of his chest. There was a sincerity in his eyes where she knew he was being honest with his answer, but she was still confused as to where this sudden job had come up now, but not before. “I care about you and I don’t want you suffering over something that you hate.”

“I thought you hadn’t worked with me in over four years. You had no idea what my work ethics were like,” she reminded him of the things that he had said to her and it made him cringe. Since she was so drunk that night he was kind of hoping that she didn’t remember the things that he had said to her when they were bickering. “What’s changed?”

“Me,” Negan blurt out, the lines in his forehead growing with him throwing his hands up in the air. How could he explain to her that he learned so much in the last few days? Things that she never needed to hear. Things that he felt horrible about himself for. Being in love with someone blinded him to the way things really were. At least someone he thought he loved. “I’ve changed. I’ve had time to think about things since the other night. And I’m willing to throw myself out there if it gives you a chance at happiness. I really don’t fucking like what Guy is doing to you. You’re being sexually harassed and with Maggie? I realize the things you were saying to me are true. I think she’s really fucking awful for you.”

Hearing that made a nervous smile tug at her lips, “What’s with the sudden negativity about Maggie? If I remember correctly, you were stressing to me that I should open up to her about things. You thought she would be a good friend and help me.”

“Well it finds out I’m an asshole,” he reasoned with her and it had her adjusting on the couch, lowering down the pillow that she was holding onto. That was a strange thing for him to say. “Maggie’s a terrible friend. And so am I. So I’m trying to make things right.”

“Where is this coming from?” her heart was pounding away inside of her chest as Negan forced himself to look away from her. Again his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and he sighed loudly.

“You opened my eyes to a lot of things. And I started talking to Maggie and I realized…a lot,” Negan huffed, lifting his hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose again. Squeezing his eyes shut, Negan didn’t know what he should and should not say. Right now he was incredibly disappointed in himself. How he had grown so blind to things was awful and he didn’t understand it. “I don’t want you hurt by Guy and I don’t want you hurt by Maggie. You deserve better than that. And I’ve let it go on for far too fucking long.”

“And you don’t care to elaborate?” she pushed for details, and it looked like he wanted to tell her. But he paused, his lips parting and he shook his head.

“I just want to take care of you the way you took care of me,” Negan admitted, reaching out to grab a firm hold of her knee to give it a squeeze. “You made my life better and you didn’t need to. I want to make your life better and I owe it to you. We share a daughter together. I don’t care if you’re not the person that gave birth to her. You’re the only mother Jordyn has ever known. And I want fucking better for you.”

“That’s very nice of you,” she started, her hand lowering to place it in over Negan’s. Giving it a tiny squeeze, she considered what he was offering her and she shook her head. “Right now? I want to give this a shot and see what happens with Guy. If I feel uncomfortable, I’ll let you know.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Negan exclaimed, his hand becoming tense beneath hers. “I don’t think Maggie is ever gonna let you come out on top. And I realize now that sounds fucking sexual, but you get what I’m saying.”

That was the Negan that she was used to. It felt like in the last few years Maggie had neutered the naughty, cheesy side of Negan that he once was. So to hear him talking like that again made her smirk. That was the kind of guy he was. Always turning everything sexual even if it was unintentional.

“I know that,” she agreed with Negan, her eyes locked on his when she gave him a weak smile. Even though things seemed more relaxed between them, she didn’t see this as a time to completely unleash her feelings about Maggie. “Did the two of you fight?”

“We…” Negan paused, clicking his tongue at the top of his mouth. This was where he could have lied to her, but there was no reason to. She was his friend. She was honest with him, so he should have been honest with her. “Yes. We fought. And I didn’t like the things she was saying and insinuating about me nor you.”

“Ah, so you finally discovered the side of Maggie you turned a blind eye to,” she mused sighing loudly. There was a time when she thought Maggie was a good person to and it hurt like hell when she realized she was wrong. Especially since she considered Maggie part of her family growing up. When she said that, Negan seemed extremely upset. His whole body language showed it and so did his big eyes. “I was wondering how long she could keep you blind to it.”

“I don’t know what to say to that,” Negan admitted, taking his time to consider everything that happened during his talk with Maggie. “She’s not the woman I convinced myself that I was in love with. Because I was dating her, I applied certain qualities to her that other people I loved had. And I’m not sure she has those qualities at all. Which fucking sucks.”  

“Yeah, it hurts when you realize the people that you love aren’t who you thought they were,” she pulled her hand away and slid back further into the corner of the couch.

A loud exhale escaped Negan’s throat with his eyebrows scrunching up, “Fuck that surprisingly hurt. That was directed at me.”

“Was it?” she watched him slouch forward on the couch and he let out a tense breath. There was that chance it was directed at Maggie. Considering Maggie was her best friend. Someone that Y/N had grown up believing cared about her. But she knew better than that now. In reality though, it was directed at Negan. He was someone that she saw as perfect. Someone she admired and was head over heels in love with. How easily Negan picked up on the fact it was directed at him surprised her since he had been blind to things so long. “Who said I loved you?”

“You love me,” he spoke up, still keeping his head down. A chill flooded down her spine and she stayed silent. “And I love you. It’s a very pure love between us. I just never realized you were in love with me and that makes me a fucking moron.”

“So now I’m in love with you?” she realized that she sounded like a bitch right now, but she wasn’t denying it. What was the point in lying? She never did that with Negan. Sometimes she just didn’t tell him everything. And that made things easier. It helped her avoid lying to him about things.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Negan spoke faintly, his breathing growing louder when he finally gathered enough strength to look to her again. “I wish you would have told me.”

“Negan, I tried every way possible to let you know how I felt. I don’t know what else you expected me to do,” she cussed to herself realizing that she did just admit to him that she did indeed love him. Obviously, the first two years it was just a crush and a friendship. Something that she would never act upon since he was married. But after that? She couldn’t imagine that she didn’t do everything possible to let him know how she felt. She just never straight out said the words. “You just didn’t feel it back.”

“But that’s not true,” Negan corrected her with a firm shake of his head. “You were my favorite person to be around. Even before Lucille died. I looked forward to every fucking moment we spent together because I loved talking to you. There was no one I felt like I could completely be myself with when it came to you.”

“I would love to think all of that was true, but your actions and your words don’t coincide,” she declared, having a hard time not focusing on everything that went wrong in the last four years. “I thought you loved me, but you didn’t. There was something in the way you looked at me that last year when I was your student teacher and I think it’s like what you said. I was attributing certain factors to you because I loved you so much that I just wanted to believe you.”

“I’m not lying to you,” Negan seemed frustrated that she wasn’t listening to him in the way he wanted her to. “I loved spending time with you. Even before I lost Lucille. Think of all the hours outside of class we spent talking. It was inappropriate then, especially with the age gap between us. And I knew it, but I liked you so much.”

“You liked your ego being stroked,” she recalled what it was like in the time that they were talking back then. “Anyone with half a brain could see I had the biggest crush on you. And the fact you were giving me attention? I was so immature. I loved it.”

“Come on,” Negan grumbled under his breath, holding his hand out to try to get her to stare out at him. “You’re selling our relationship short. Even Lucille knew that we were close. And Lucille loved you. You know that. We both did.”

“Now that’s a different kind of love. Lucille looked at me like I was a kid and I feel like she latched onto me because she knew I had no one. The woman wanted to take me under her wing and it didn’t hurt that your daughter always had a comfort with me,” she thought back to the way things were with Lucille when she had been around her. “You’re talking about a love that is completely different than the one that we are talking about here.”

“I’ve always been very open with you about things,” Negan started, the lines in his forehead growing deeper as he spoke, “you know that I cheated on Lucille when we were together. It was so fucked up that I did. It’s not like I didn’t love her because I did. She was everything to me. But I was so arrogant and stupid…”

Negan had to take a moment to pause and he let out a scoff, “I hated the man that I was when I did that to Lucille. You know how hard we tried to have Jordyn. For so fucking long. She was our little miracle baby and once we had her? I felt like the luckiest man in the world. She was everything we fought so hard to have. I promised to never be that man again that hurt her.”

“Which is amazing. I know Lucille was the love of your life and I think she deserved that,” she didn’t understand where this was headed, but she could tell that talking about his late wife had Negan emotional. “Where is this going?”

“I’m trying to prove a point here,” Negan stressed to her, his body tensing up. “I never thought of cheating on my wife again. Because my life was perfect. But you? You’re the only person that made me consider it again. Maybe I did like the way you inflated my ego. And yeah, maybe I did know you had a crush on me back then.”

“Oh fuck off,” she laughed at what he just told her, standing up from the couch in disgust moving across the room to pace.

“Why do you never believe the shit that I say?” Negan snapped at her, a deep rumble of a growl escaping his throat. “You don’t remember that time that the two of us were sitting in the front row of my class with me sitting beside you?”

“We did that all the time,” she chuckled with him trying to draw forth some kind of memory between them that she didn’t think existed.

“You touched my hand and it was just innocent, but the way you touched me? It made me feel things that I shouldn’t have. I asked you that night if you had a boyfriend while stroking the back of your fucking hand because I was considering fucking you right then and there. Because you touching me made me…hard,” Negan continued on, finding his heart hammering inside of his chest with the way she stopped to stare down at him. “You made me feel good about myself with the way that you liked me and looked up to me. I loved spending time with you. But then I realized what an asshole I was and I left immediately. The next day I brought Lucille and Jordyn around so I could remind myself that things were perfect.”

Rolling her eyes, she turned away from him and couldn’t contain the amused sound that she made, “If that were fucking true, it’s been six years since Lucille died. You didn’t try to kiss me once. You never tried to have sex with me. You never even spoke of feeling that way toward me.”

“I’ve been thinking about that and maybe I shut that feeling down because of how I felt about you in that moment when Lucille was alive,” Negan reasoned, but sounded like he was trying to make sense of things himself. “You were the only person that ever made me think like that and…”

“I don’t…I don’t want to hear any more of it,” she cut him off from even going any further in that direction. “So having a relationship with me was bad because I gave you a boner by touching your hand when you were married?”

“Well now that you say it like that, yeah of fucking course it sounds stupid,” Negan stood up from the couch himself trying to appeal to her, but she held her hand out to stop him. “I don’t understand why you find that so fucking hard to believe.”

“Because it was Maggie your hard cock found its way into, not me!” she snapped at him causing him to swallow down hard with his expressive eyebrows furrowing. “It was Maggie you were showing up at my apartment for with my favorite fucking flowers. You shattered my fucking heart that day Negan. How do you not fucking see that? And then you kept fucking hurting me. Fucking Maggie with me in the apartment consistently forcing me to hear that shit? And then walking around naked all the time. How do you not realize that was you fucking tormenting me?”

A broken breath escaped Negan’s throat and he threw his hands up in the air trying to come up with something to say, but he was falling short, “You can say whatever you want, but your actions speak louder than your words. I would have done anything for you. And when you showed up at that fucking apartment that day, I thought it was me you were there for. I thought it was me you were coming to admit your feelings for and you were there for fucking Maggie. So feed me all the bullshit you want, but I know it’s not true.���

“I’m sorry,” Negan apologized, his voice broken with him shaking his head.

“For what? Liking someone else? Do you know how fucking pathetic I would have to be to expect you to apologize to me for loving Maggie?” she shook her head refusing to accept that apology. “You didn’t want me. And I wasn’t the person you liked spending the most time with because if I was? You wouldn’t have stopped doing it after you got with Maggie. We would have still been spending time together. Instead? We acted like divorced parents that hated each other only seeing each other here and there when I came to pick up Jordyn.”

Swallowing down hard, Negan lowered his head and it looked like there was a massive amount of guilt that was eating away at him, “I am the luckiest girl in the world because you allowed me to be in Jordyn’s life and I love that little girl like she is my own. And I will always treat her like she is because she means everything to me. Even when I feel like allowing this world to swallow me whole, I remember that I’m still here because I love her. She’s the thing that keeps me going every day. But I’m also the dumbest woman in the world because I’ve been in love with a man for eight years and he never felt the same way about me. Now he’s feeding me some kind of bullshit because he feels guilty about the way he treated me.”

“I wasn’t thinking right, okay?” Negan finally spoke, his eyes damp and his voice rasp when he dropped his hands down at his hips. “I had lost Lucille and I was a fucking mess. I hadn’t been with anyone since Lucille and when Maggie started throwing herself at me…”

Dramatically dropping her head back, she released an amused laugh. It seemed to infuriate Negan when she headed over back to her side of the couch to drop down on top of it, “If you would have made your move, it would have been you that I fell for. But it was Maggie that was laying it on thick. It was Maggie that kissed me first. It was Maggie that…”

“Fucked you purposely on the couch in our living room knowing that I would be coming home? Yeah. You’re right,” she blurt out, frustration flooding her veins when she just let that information drop. “You know she promised me that night when you came here with the flowers that she wouldn’t let it go any further. When I walked in on the two of you having sex, it was a real fucking shock.”

“Then why remain loyal to her this whole fucking time?” Negan hissed, throwing his hand up in the air with the vein at the side of his neck bulging. “You should have fucking told me the kind of person that she was! I didn’t know who she was.”

“You know what the better question is?” she stood up from the couch, stepping before him to shove into the center of his chest to get him to stumble back giving her a shocked expression. “Why the fuck did I put up with you the whole time? Maggie, I have an excuse. Maggie’s father asked me to watch over her and keep her safe because he was worried his daughter would fail at life. But you? You’re the one that fucked Maggie. It wasn’t my responsibility to let you know the person she was.”

“No, you just waited four years to tell me,” Negan scoffed in response, his nose wrinkling with a firm shake of his head.

“You know what? I’ll give you the floor,” she dramatically waved her hands about, drawing his breathing to grow louder. “Why don’t you tell me what it is that Maggie did to have you be a pathetic fucking puppy dog toward her with those flowers. What was it Maggie did that had you fucking her in my apartment? And what made you think it wouldn’t hurt me? Because if I had a crush on you and you knew it in those first two years, why wouldn’t I have it when you fucked Maggie?”

“There was nothing to love with me. I was a mess. You saw me at my absolute worst. You had to take care of my daughter when I couldn’t. I was a fucking mess, why would you ever want to love someone like me when you had to endure the kind of person I was?” Negan countered visibly upset, but she uncomfortably scoffed under her breath.

“Because I loved you,” she sighed, her chest aching at the thought. “You made a promise to Lucille that you would live life for her because she couldn’t and you had a beautiful daughter. I wasn’t going to allow you to break that promise and I wasn’t going to let something happen to you or Jordyn because you lost the person you loved more than anything. It wasn’t fair that the world took Lucille away from you, so I understood why you were the way you were. Which is obviously me answering my own question as to why I put up with you for so long. That and because I love your daughter.”

“You love her, but not me?” Negan didn’t like what he was hearing causing her to shake her head again in frustration.

“You want to hear that I love you for what reason Negan? So it makes you feel better again and I’ll be that one person that makes you consider cheating again? Yeah Negan, I love you too because I’m a very pathetic girl,” she confessed placing her hand in over the center of her chest. “So why don’t you tell me what it was that Maggie did to make you want her and not me? When did she kiss you and you realized that you wanted to be with her? What did she do to make you have sex with her in the home she shared with me? Maybe I can take some pointers for the next man I fall in love with. That way I don’t lose out and make the same mistake I made last time.”

“Stop,” Negan requested, his jaw flexing with them obviously emotional from this discussion. “You can’t be mad at me for not making the first move. I didn’t make the first move with Maggie either. I didn’t do anything wrong. You’re acting like you were honest with me about things and you weren’t. If you would have said something…”

“I know men are stupid Negan, but come on…” she frowned, giving a glare before moving back to drop down on the couch again finding herself exhausted with this conversation. “This whole I never made the first move thing is bullshit.”

“I feel like I owe you this massive apology, but…” Negan’s hand was shaking when he pointed toward himself, but she held her hand up to silence him. An apology was not something that she wanted from Negan.

Unhurriedly Negan moved back to his spot on the couch and dropped down. Sliding down on the couch, the two of them sat there together in silence for a while. It took a while for her heart to calm down with how hard it was pounding with the adrenaline rush this whole thing gave her.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Negan finally broke the silence, his breathing growing louder. After their fight, his chest hurt fucking bad and he knew that was the guilt of everything. “Ever since we talked the night at the event, I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re all I think about.”

“It was the tits,” she spoke quietly making Negan snort and then start to laugh. Looking to her, they both laughed at how bluntly she said it. He thought she was joking, but she was being serious in a cheeky way. “I promise you Negan, it was nothing more than that. I cover them up most of the time, I finally let them out and it has both you and Guy Vixen foaming at the mouth.”

“It’s not your tits,” Negan forced his laugh down, trying to look away from her since this was a serious moment that he was trying to approach. “Yes, you have nice breasts, but what happened earlier at the store…”

“Was a mistake,” she finished his sentence, reaching out to grab at Negan’s arm to get him to look at her. “You were emotional, you were trying to make me feel better. I was at that event. Everyone that came up to you stressed to me how much you loved Maggie. I never heard the end of it. If I was Maggie? I would have fallen in love with you so much more hearing how much you loved me. Unfortunately, I’m me. And it was her these things were about. Not me.”

“Yeah, but I’m starting to think that I don’t even know the real Maggie,” Negan declared, visible confusion flooding into his features with his admission. “And I’m not even sure I fucking know who I am. So there is that.”

“I don’t know what to say to that Negan,” she professed, her heart sinking at what he said knowing that a while ago she would have loved to hear that. “Nothing I say to that is going to make this situation any better.”

“Why…” Negan began, scoffing to himself knowing that this would likely go nowhere. “Why didn’t you try to kiss me though? If you would have kissed me before Maggie did, I know things would have worked themselves out between us.”

“Because I was worried that after Lucille passed away it would have been wrong for me to kiss you because it would have been me putting a nail in the friendship I had with her,” she had thought for a moment what to say, but when she did say this it was so emotionless that it had Negan looking her with an arch of his eyebrow.

“You’re mocking me,” Negan recognized that she was using the thing he said earlier against him.

“Little bit,” she tipped her head to the side understanding that it wasn’t the nicest of things to do in the moment. Even with her smart ass attitude, he was still waiting for an answer. “I don’t know Negan. Why didn’t you just kiss me?”

“In my mind I had to be thinking I was your professor,” Negan kept up with that defense provoking her to groan loudly. “It would have been a conflict of interests and I could have gotten in trouble.”

“Maybe I just wanted to know that I was worth the risk,” she suggested, rubbing her hands out over her thighs hating that they were bickering about the past again. “It’s nice to play a game of what if Negan, but you really fell in love with Maggie. She was what you wanted.”

“I think I fell in love with Maggie’s version of you,” Negan countered, drawing her to give him a look that showed she had no idea what he was saying. “Maggie listened to you talk about me for four years. She knew what you told her about me. She knew what I liked. She listened to someone who loved me talk about me. And she kissed me first. Like a typical fucking male, I thought with my dick. And I continued to let my dick think things out for way too long.”

“What does it matter now?” she truly wondered, a tense laugh escaping her throat. This was all nice to hear, but it didn’t change shit and it sure as hell didn’t make things better. “It doesn’t change what happened.”

“What we did together in that dressing room…” Negan focused on what happened earlier at the store with her trying on the dress. It was something she wanted to avoid talking about, but he was still locked in on it.

“We didn’t even kiss Negan. It was a moment of tension that will never happen again,” she promised him, swallowing down hard. Truthfully? When she closed her eyes she could still picture the way everything felt. “If we kissed, then maybe, but we didn’t.”

Thinking about what she said, Negan slid in toward the middle couch cushion and bit down on his bottom lip, “Then maybe we should kiss once. We never kissed. I don’t know how I would feel if I kissed you.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she alerted him with a long exhale realizing that she was already hooked on Negan. The last thing she needed right now was something else like that. Something that would pull her further into him. Especially when he could never be hers. “It’s only going to complicate things more.”

“But maybe when we kiss we will realize that there is nothing there,” Negan thought aloud, shrugging his shoulders simply. “It could be for the best. That way we really know and don’t have to lay awake at night wondering about the what ifs.”

“Negan…” she whispered his name, her throat going dry with him pressing in closer to her. After the way they had been bickering, she couldn’t see this working itself out.

“Please?” Negan begged of her, his hand lifting to sweep his fingers in over the side of her face. For so long this was the kind of attention she wanted from Negan, but in the moment she knew that it felt wrong. Yet she didn’t push him away. Just his touch alone had her eyes fluttering to a close. Having the roughness of his fingertips caressing at her skin had her breath hitching in her throat. Palming down over the side of her face, Negan allowed his thumb to drag faintly across her bottom lip. The slightest of whimpers escaped her throat eliciting a chill to flood his body. It was so quiet, but since the room was too it was easy to hear. He hadn’t even kissed her yet and he had her trembling before him. It took his breath away. Pressing in closer, Negan closed the distance between them. The warmth of his breath lingered over her and he was keen to pay attention to her reactions. Considering what he was putting on the line, he wanted to pay special attention in the moment. Sweeping his fingers down over her jawline toward her neck, Negan captured her jaw between his thumb and index finger. It had her lips parting with her breathing growing broken. Part of him wondered if she would stop him from doing this, but she hadn’t. And he was thankful for that. Faintly brushing his lips over hers, he took his time to allow her the chance to refuse. Their lips barely touched. It was when his eyes closed that he finally brought their lips together in a passionate sweep. It was one that lingered, innocent at first. Her hand settled at the center of his chest with her fingers stretching upward. Gradually the kiss grew stronger. It was just supposed to be one simple kiss, but with her lips parting he took advantage by brushing his tongue delicately against hers. One kiss turned to many with her fingers curling loosely around the back of his neck. Pressing a final kiss at her bottom lip left them both breathless. Lazily, his eyes fluttered to an open with them still so close to one another. “How do you feel?”

His eyes were locked on her, enamored with the way she responded to him kissing her. Slowly her eyes opened, her pupils dilated showing that the kiss had undoubtedly had its effects on her, “I don’t know,” she knew she couldn’t say what she truly felt. With him still touching her face, it wasn’t helping. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Then maybe we should do it again,” Negan commented with his thumb stroking down over the soft fleshy part of her throat. Stealing another fervent kiss from her lips, Negan brought them close together. One kiss turned to another with their breathing growing broken and labored. This time when Negan’s tongue swept against hers, she eagerly returned the gesture. Everything about this was intoxicating having her desperately wanting more from him.

“Shit,” she stood up from the couch, panting when she pulled away from Negan’s kisses. Moving toward the corner of the room gave her that chance to put some distance between them. It felt like everything was spinning with how intense things started to get between them. Finally looking to him again, she gave him a nod, but it was hard looking him in the eye. “Well we kissed and I think we can both agree that you should probably be headed home.”

Taking a moment to think about what she was saying, Negan gave her a single nod. Getting up from the couch, he approached her and felt his heartbeat leaping in his chest, “I guess we’ll talk again soon?”

“Sure,” she realized that he was going to hug her goodbye and she allowed him that. Squeezing her firmly in his arms, Negan buried his head against the side of her neck and sighed loudly. Chills flooded down her spine and she tried to keep her head on straight.

“I’ll just go then…” Negan spoke, leaning back ever so slightly to look down upon her. “If that’s what you want from me.”

Staying silent, she knew it was for the best. Kissing him was addicting and she didn’t want to stop. With a wicked smirk, Negan stepped back acting as if he was going to leave. Reaching for his wrist had him chuckling. Cupping his face in her hands, she hungrily pulled him back to her having his lips crashing down upon hers. The force of him stepping forward had her back pressing against the wall. Dropping his hands, he caressed them in over her hips giving them a firm squeeze. Kiss after kiss took her breath away, her body growing limp with her falling in against his chest.

Gasping out, she felt Negan’s hands palming down over the backs of her thighs. Hooking his arms under her knees, he lifted her up from the ground and braced her weight against the wall. Closing the distance between them had her heart hammering inside of her chest. Every part of her felt like it was on fire with Negan’s lips upon hers once more. Kissing her with all the passion and desire that had been building up between them over the last few days.

Wincing, she tipped her head back when Negan’s kisses tampered off down over her chin and across her jawline. Sinking her fingers into his messy, dark hair she knew that she should have let him leave but this all felt way too good to let go of. For years she longed for this kind of interaction and now that she was getting it she felt like she was drunk off his kisses.

His mouth left a hot, wet trail against the side of her neck when he eagerly returned to meet her lips in a fiery kiss. What started off innocent was growing into something hungry and passionate. Something that she never thought existed between the two of them. How easily Negan took her breath away was scary. Negan held her in the palm of his hand and she knew it. An involuntary moan escaped her lips with the sensation of Negan’s hips lightly bucking up against hers. In return he rewarded her with a throaty moan. Tipping his head back, his eyelids were heavy as he tried to make sure that she was comfortable with where this was going. Another roll of his hips had her head tipping back. Repeatedly, his hips bucked up against hers with his mouth stealing kiss after kiss from her lips.

“Fuck,” Negan hissed at the liquid warmth that was flooding his body. Sucking at her bottom lip had her mewling out and he pressed his forehead to hers. Every part of him felt like it was on fire. The way she caressed at the back of his neck had chills running down his spine. Carefully bringing her in against his chest, Negan turned on his heel taking his time to carry her over toward the couch. Dropping down on top of it, Negan fell in over her but made sure to brace his weight so he didn’t hurt her. Hovering his lips in over hers had her caressing down over the side of his neck toward the center of his chest. A smile tugged at his lips hearing the anxious sound that she made with him over her. “Don’t be nervous.”

Lowering himself between her thighs, Negan kept his weight braced on his right arm while his left caressed down over the side of her body and up again. Teasing his lips just over hers, Negan’s eyelids grew heavy when the warmth of her mouth radiated against his. It had her purring out and it sent a chill right through his body. There was a rush flooding his veins. This wasn’t where he expected the kiss to go, but here they were.

Feather like kisses pressed over her lips with him taking his time to get comfortable with her. With each kiss, the passion and hunger grew with them exploring each other. Making out with Negan on the couch was not something she expected and she was surprised they let it get this far. But right now she was feeling butterflies in her stomach. Having him pampering her with kisses was addictive and it was hard to pull herself away from it. There was an electricity between them that both of them could feel the longer they kissed.

Grunting, Negan lowered his head to look down with him hooking his arm underneath her knee. Getting her to loosely wrap her leg around his waist drew out the most delicious moan from his lips and it had her panting. Palming down over the side of his face had Negan leaning into her touch, his lips parting and his eyes coming to a tight close.

By the time his long eyelashes fluttered to an open, she felt lost in him. The way he stared down at her showed a sense of affection. Licking his lips, Negan dragged his thumb across her bottom lip and sighed. Kissing at the pad of his thumb had a tiny smile tugging at his handsome features, “You are so beautiful.”

Nuzzling his nose in against hers showed tenderness in the way he was desperate to be near. Stroking down over the side of his neck, she liked listening to the way that he was breathing. At this moment? They were just taking the time to cherish the warmth of their bodies near. Hooking her fingers into his messy hair, she caressed at his scalp and liked the tiny kisses that he was pressing at the side of her face. A lump grew in her throat with the feeling of Negan caressing down in over her thigh and then up over her side. Having her arch up into him like she did only made him smile further.  

“Do you trust me?” Negan slurred, kissing softly at her bottom lip allowing it to linger in that moment.

Maybe she should have said no, but instead she just nodded. Adjusting his weight made her panic when he got on his knees above her. Reaching for the bottom of his shirt, Negan took his time pulling it up the lengths of his abdomen. Getting it over his head, he dropped it beside the couch on the floor. How she looked at him fueled him. Maggie had never looked at him like that. Reaching for her hands, Negan brought them toward his torso urging her to touch him. Tension was evident in her body, but it was from her being nervous. Flattening her palms against the center of Negan’s abdomen, she did as he wanted. Sliding her hands up his slender torso toward his chest and then down again. Just touching him had Negan sucking in a sharp breath of air, tipping his head back and pressing in closer to her. Teasing her fingers through the dark curls of hair that covered his flesh had a thick rumble of a sound falling from his throat. Forcing himself to watch her, Negan could see the awe in her eyes. Instead of rushing things, she learned the lines of his body. Learning what he liked while also enjoying the moment herself.  

Lifting up, her eyes stayed locked with his at first when she started to pepper affectionate kisses at the center of his torso. Every caress of her lips over his flesh was delicate with her still touching him. His heartrate was undoubtedly high with him curling his fingers around the back of her neck. Lowering her stare, she kissed at the lines over his hips following the v-line toward the top of his pants. Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan sighed loudly. It felt good having someone pampering him and admiring him like this.

Dropping his hands down, his fingers tugged at the material of her shirt getting it partially up her body. Stopping at the area right under her arms, he gave her a tip of his head when she looked up at him. Lifting her arms allowed him to pull it from her body and drop her shirt along with his. Underneath she was not wearing a bra and he knew that. Hell, he watched her change. The way her breasts bounced with the movement made him groan.

Motioning her to lay back again, Negan laid in over her permitting the warmth of their bodies to press together. That alone felt better than he could have ever imagined. It had her frozen beneath him with him dragging his bottom lip over hers. Lazily dragging his lips over her top lip had her purring out and he loved it. They should have said more, but they didn’t. The roughness of Negan’s fingertips caressed down over her side and it felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest. After a while Negan’s fingers dragged down further, teasing in over the waistband of her pajama pants. Locking his eyes with hers, Negan pushed at the material having her a tremoring mess beneath him.

“It’s okay,” he hushed her, lifting his hips enough to get the material of her pajama pants tugged down to her thighs. With them getting locked up there, he balanced his weight enough for him to use one of his hands to get them pushed even further down her legs. Laying back in over her, Negan reached behind him to push at his pajama pants getting them down over his ass toward his thighs. Swallowing down hard, Negan’s muscles tensed with the sensation of their bodies pressed together. The way she shuddered had him breathless with his fingers tracing down over the side of her face. “You take my breath away.”

Attempting to look between them, Negan stopped her by curling his finger in underneath her chin. Hushing her, he urged her to tip her head back against the pillow, “Keep your eyes on mine. I don’t want you looking anywhere else.”

Every part of her felt like it was on fire with the warmth of his naked body lying in over her. This felt more passionate and sincere in the moment. Less sexual even though the two of them were both naked. There was a vulnerability between the both of them that Negan was enchanted by.

“No one looks at me the way you do,” Negan whispered, starting to pepper kisses against her bottom lip. How he had been blind to it this whole time was something he couldn’t wrap his mind around. “I should have seen it all along.”

Closing her eyes when Negan’s kisses tampered off over the side of her neck had it feeling like the room was spinning around them. Quiet whispers surrounded her with Negan praising her, saying all the things that someone would want to hear. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, she buried her nose against the side of his neck.

Turning his head, Negan brought their lips back together. Reaching for one of her arms, he lowered it down on the couch with his fingers hooking firmly with hers. Truthfully they could have spent an eternity like that, just kissing with them pressed up against one another.

“Do you still want me?” Negan wondered, his words vibrating against her flesh having her whimper at the feeling of it. His fingers squeezed firmly with hers and he wanted her to answer honestly. “After everything, is there a chance that you still want to be with me?”

“I don’t know,” she spoke quietly, unsure of how she was feeling or how things were. More than anything she wanted Negan, but she didn’t know how it would work. “I know how you make me feel.”

“How do I make you feel?” Negan wanted to hear her answer, wetting his lips. There was desperation in her eyes with his mouth hanging just in over hers.

“Like my heart is beating wildly yet capable of stopping at the same time,” she stammered drawing him to smile with a tiny nod. That probably sounded stupid and she knew it. “No one makes me feel like you do.”

“Okay,” Negan licked his lips adjusting his body over hers and releasing her hand. “That’s all I need to know.”

Wiggling his hips a bit more got the material of his pants down to the bottom of his thighs. Dragging his hand down over her side toward her ribcage and then over her breast had her panting. Circling her nipple with his thumb, he worked to bring it to a hard bud and growled.

“Do you have any condoms?” Negan questioned and it had her shaking beneath him. There was a sense of shock in her eyes with his eyebrows bouncing up.

“I…I don’t,” she responded, her head tipping back with Negan’s thumb tracing over her jawline, down over the length of her neck and toward her collarbone. “I don’t really have time to bring men back here for sex.”

“We can work with that,” Negan slurred, reaching down between them, his raspy moan following when she assumed that he was touching himself. Nuzzling his nose in against hers, he adjusted himself over her. Curling his arm around her waist, he brought her closer to him and it had the warmth of his body near hers. Licking his lips, he reached between them again to curl his fingers around the base of his cock. Teasing the swollen tip over the length of her sex had her cooing out. Dragging a line down her body with the tip and then up toward her clit had her bouncing up toward him. “You are so fucking perfect.”

Repeatedly he teased her with the same motion, until he brought his fingertips up toward his lips. Licking at them, he lowered them down again touching himself. By the time a bit of pressure was being pushed at her entrance, she heard the sound of what she thought was another knock at her door. Closing her eyes, she assumed that it was just her mind letting things stir with the thick tip of Negan’s cock prodding at her warmth.

“Look at me,” he demanded and she obeyed. His lips hovered over hers with him working just the tip through the tight ring of muscle having the both of them moan in unison. Pulling out had her whimpering before he repeated the same movement causing them both to be a panting mess. Another knock at the door drew both of their attention this time with Negan looking to the door. “Just ignore it. It’s late.”

Nodding her head, she winced when he got just a bit more inside of her this time. He was starting off small, getting her used to him. Pressing her hand against his lower abdomen had him swallowing down hard. Even though he knew better, there was a sense of innocence to her. Lifting, she watched him pull his hips back letting her gaze upon his rigid manhood that took her breath away. Again, the way she looked at him turned him on more than he could have ever imagined. She did stare at him with awe and affection. In her eyes? He was perfection and he could see that. Cuddling in close to her, Negan got comfortable between her thighs and helped lead the tip back to her ready opening. Pushing forward had her crying out and he nipped at her chin. At this point it was only the tip that had entered her a few times but knowing that it was Negan had her body craving so much more.

“You feel so good,” Negan slurred, doing his best to brace himself pushing his hips just a bit more forward. This time allowing his body to enter hers further. Dropping her head back, she cried out with Negan kissing down over the side of her neck. There was a stretching sensation with her body parting to his girthy length. “So wet and tight…”

And there it was again, the returning knock, “I’m going to kill myself if that’s Maggie.”

“It can’t be Maggie, the alert didn’t go off on my phone,” Negan breathed against the side of her neck having a sense of realization flood through her mind. Firmly bracing her hand over the center of Negan’s abdomen, she pulled her hips up and away from him having him moaning out. “Did I hurt you? We didn’t even get half of it in yet.”

“You’re still with Maggie,” she reminded him having a flood of guilt rushing through her veins. By his expression, she could tell in that moment the only person that mattered to was her. Working her pants back up over her body, she knew that every part of her was screaming at her to continue, but she couldn’t let that go. “You’re still with Maggie and we just started to have sex.”

“Barely,” Negan stammered, his chest rising and falling heavily with his unsteady breathing. Grunting, Negan looked down to see his cock twitch with the ache that it had with not being allowed to continue. “I think I want to leave Maggie. I want to be with you…”

“You don’t know that,” she frowned, standing up from the couch leaving him to fall back against it. Dragging his hands down over the front of his face, Negan groaned and she wished he would have pulled his pants back up. Seeing him laid stretched out on her couch almost completely naked with a raging hard on was not helping the situation. “I should have never let things get that far. It makes me just as bad as her if not worse. You’re hers. And I would have had sex with you, I started to…”

Wincing, Negan reached down to squeeze at his rigid length and lifted his head to look at it. Growling, he reached for his pants and arched his hips to pull them up over his body which she was thankful for, “Maggie is in your home right now. Sleeping in your bed and I’m here with you…”

“I don’t like the way I feel when I’m with Maggie,” Negan explained to her, the muscle in his jaw flexing when he brushed his fingers throughout his hair shakily. “I like the way I feel when I’m with you. The way you look at me, the way you touch me…the electricity between us…”

“The other day people were coming up to me talking about how much you loved Maggie. How can you change your opinion of her in two days?” she had a hard time believing that with her reaching down to grab her shirt to pull it back on.

“Because my eyes were opened to how things really are. I was blind to things,” Negan stood up from the couch, attempting to approach her, but she held up her hands to stop him from coming near. With how her body felt? She knew that she needed to keep some distance between the two of them. “Please, okay? All I think about is you.”

“You’re still with Maggie,” she stressed to Negan the words that hurt, but were still so undeniably true. Right now that didn’t seem to bother Negan, but she knew eventually it would. “You’re hers. And she is yours. This? What we’re doing. It’s wrong.”

“How could it be fucking wrong when we both want it?” Negan wondered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “Isn’t this what you want? What you’ve always wanted?”

“To have an affair with you while you’re still with Maggie?” she snorted, causing Negan to frown and fold his arms out in front of his chest. “There are some things that need to be worked out before we could ever be something. You were very anti cheating and now…”

“I just…” Negan started only to hear the knocking turn to rapid, continuous hits that was having the door shaking. “What the fuck?”

Heading for the door, Negan reached for the knob and pulled it open angrily, “Whatever the fuck you want I promise we don’t want it…”

It was in that moment Negan came face to face with Daryl who was holding a few bags in his hands staring out at Negan with his cold, blue eyed stare. They both knew each other and they knew each other well. Especially since they were both a big part of Y/N’s life. And neither one liked each other all that much.

“Daryl,” she breathed out his name with a shirtless Negan standing before him at the door. Looking to the clock on the wall, she shook her head and sighed. Why was everyone suddenly showing up so damn late? “What are you doing here?”

“I figured you didn’t eat since you weren’t texting me back,” Daryl lifted the bags that he was holding giving them a small wiggle. “Since neither of us sleep much, I figured I would stop by like you did the other night and bring you something to eat.”

“At three in the morning?” Negan scoffed with Daryl pushing through into the apartment toward the kitchen area. There wasn’t a care in the world that Daryl had right now interrupting the two of them. And he was making that clear. Which infuriated Negan who stood at the door tense as can be. “Excuse me, we were in the middle of something here.”

“Were you?” Daryl simply asked looking between the two of them. Setting some of the things out on her counter, Daryl brought his fingers up to his lips to suck at them. Shrugging his shoulders, he took note of the fact that Negan was half naked. But he didn’t say anything. Just acted like everything was completely normal. “What are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have a child at home? Jordyn is too young to be left alone.”

“Maggie is there,” Negan answered with Daryl smirking and moving back around the counter toward them in the living room.

“Like I said, leaving her alone isn’t smart,” Daryl gazed upon Negan who was still breathing loudly, his eyes locking with Y/N who was standing a good distance away from the both of them trying to catch her breath. Bringing his attention back to Negan, Daryl circled his finger around Negan’s torso area. “What happened to your shirt?”

“I lost it,” Negan snorted with a roll of his eyes heading over toward his shirt that was still on the floor. Snatching it, Negan haphazardly tugged it back on. Displeasure flooded Negan’s features with his hands settling in at his hips. By his body language, he was angry and he wasn’t hiding it.

“Do you need something cold for that?” Daryl slurred getting Negan’s eyebrows to furrow and his head to tip to the side. Pointing toward the evident tent in Negan’s pajama pants had red flooding into Negan’s face. Reaching for the pillow that was on the couch, Negan placed it in front of himself. “Don’t you have to leave?”

“Daryl,” she snapped at her friend causing him to dramatically shrug and move back toward the kitchen. Daryl was going out of his way to be a shit to get Negan even more upset about things.

“He’s right,” Negan swallowed down hard looking upon her with a saddened expression. “I shouldn’t have left Jordyn alone. But the two of us need to talk. About…us…”

“Sounds serious,” Daryl spoke up with a mouthful of something getting an immediate glare from Negan having Negan’s dimples becoming extremely prominent. It looked like Negan wanted to kill Daryl in that moment. Daryl was playing oblivious to things, but she knew he was just doing it to be an ass to get under Negan’s skin.

“Daryl!” she repeated his name with Daryl throwing his hands up in the air again.

“We’ll talk later,” Negan stepped forward, lowering down to press a quick kiss against the side of her face. Even him doing that felt wrong. There was a sense of affection in the way that he kissed her face that shouldn’t have been there if he was with Maggie. “I’m sorry.”

“It was nice seeing you,” Daryl called out, wiggling his fingers about. It had Negan stopping and looking back over his shoulder at Daryl with his cold hazel eyed stare. By now? She was surprised Daryl hadn’t started a fight. Tossing the pillow back onto the couch, Negan reached for his boots and stumbled to pull them back on. By the time he got his jacket on, Negan headed for the door, but stopped. It looked like he was considering saying something else, but he just shook his head and left, leaving her alone with Daryl. Once she knew they were finally alone, she looked to Daryl shooting him a glare herself with the way he acted. “What?! I was being nice!”

Heading over toward the couch, she dropped down on top of it and buried her head into her hand, “Personally? I think you should be thanking me. Cus I stopped whatever sex the two of you were about to have. And you would have regretted it if I didn’t.”

“I know,” she agreed with Daryl who looked surprised when he dropped down on the couch beside her. “You’re absolutely right.”

“I am?” Daryl replied showing her that he didn’t even think she would agree with his comment. “You’re not angry?”

“At myself. Not you,” she confessed, her breathing still uneven with her body aching in the worst of ways. Huffing out, she felt Daryl’s hand placing in over her head and she gave him an awkward glance. “What the hell?”

“Just making sure you don’t have a fever or nothin’,” Daryl explained, pulling his hand back and rubbing at his thighs. “Since I just stopped you from having sex with the man of your dreams. He was walking around with a raging boner. I thought you’d be furious.”

“I’m not,” there was a warmth that flooded into her face with how embarrassed she was over this whole thing. Right now she was upset and it was probably a good thing that Daryl showed up, but she didn’t really want to admit what happened or talk to Daryl about it. “It shouldn’t have happened anyways.”

“You okay?” Daryl’s nose wrinkled, scoffing in the process. “I really thought you’d be throwing things at me.”

“Daryl…” she repeated his name, forcing herself to look away from him. Truthfully? Her body was screaming. More than anything it wanted Negan, it wanted to keep having sex with Negan. But her mind kept thinking about Maggie. Maggie went after Negan knowing that she was head over heels in love with him, but Negan wasn’t dating her. She started having sex with Negan knowing that he was dating Maggie. And she was furious with Maggie for cheating on Negan with Guy. “I don’t know why I let things get that far.”

“Cus you were always obsessed with that asshole,” Daryl scoffed, getting comfortable and stretching out his legs while he sat beside her on the couch. “The guy smiles and he just has you in the palm of his hand.”

“It’s a little more than that,” she reasoned with her friend, standing up from the couch and feeling her legs tremoring beneath her. Moving over toward the kitchen area, she grabbed herself a water. Looking out, she could see that Daryl’s head was turned watching her.

“Was it everything you ever hoped for?” Daryl felt like he was mocking her in that moment, but she couldn’t blame him. “Was his cock glorious and the moment you knew that he wanted to fuck you, you just creamed your panties.”

“Christ,” she muttered after taking a long sip of the water that she grabbed herself. Looking at the bags, she tipped her head to the side when she saw one of the things that was in them. Pulling out the box, she lifted it and saw Daryl grimace once he realized she grabbed the box of condoms that were there. “What were you planning?”

“I was horny and thought you might be again,” Daryl got up from the couch, shoving his hands into his pockets. Giving her a shrug, he bit down on his bottom lip and moved closer to the kitchen area of her apartment. After she tossed the box on the counter, he assumed that she wouldn’t be interested in that at all tonight. “Guess I was right.”

Bracing his hand on the counter, Daryl noticed the silence that was between them and cleared his throat. Heading over toward the corner of the kitchen, she rest herself back against it and she looked disappointed in herself.

“I really wanted him to have a small penis,” Daryl blurt out provoking her to spit out her water after she had taken another sip of it. Involuntarily she laughed with how dramatically Daryl said that. “All that arrogance and being blessed with a big dick. It’s not right.”

“What are you complaining about? It’s not like you are a lacking. At all,” she reminded Daryl who simply tipped his head from side to side. “And it’s not about dick size with Negan. I wouldn’t have cared what size it was.”

“You’d be disappointed if he had a baby penis,” Daryl insisted, leaning forward eliciting another laugh from her again. “I’m right. You know that.”

“Can we talk about something other than Negan and his penis?” she asked of Daryl having him shrug dramatically and then reach for the bag of food that he brought for them to start opening it up. “Thank you for coming over with food.”

“Well, someone has to feed you,” Daryl pointed out, dropping what looked to be noodles into his mouth and chewing loudly. Gazing around her apartment, Daryl grunted noticing that she had gone a bit overboard with the decorations. “You’re barely home. Why do you have so many lights?”

“It helps relax me,” she suggested, liking the setting that it gave her apartment. It felt more magical than just being the bare, plain apartment that she was used to.

“Being here reminds me we don’t spend a lotta time at your apartment,” Daryl swallowed down what he had in his mouth and turned to face her again. Through the years they knew each other, it was mostly his place that they were always at. Unless she had Jordyn, then it would be occasionally spent at her place. “Why is that?”

“Because I want to escape my life most of the time,” she noted, setting her water bottle down and moving across the room to the side of the counter opposite of him. “Being at your apartment gives me a different environment.”

“So…” Daryl went to reach for more of the noodles and she swatted at his hand. Grabbing a fork, she handed it over to him making him roll his eyes. Using the fork like she wanted of him, he tipped his head back and dramatically ate the mouthful of food that he grabbed. “Do you wanna go back to my apartment and have sex?”

“Daryl!” she raised her voice with his blue eyes getting big like he didn’t understand where all the excitement was coming from. “I don’t think I should be having sex right now. My body needs to chill out. And I would love to relax instead with you. We can eat, sit down and watch some movies.”

“Boring,” Daryl frowned with her reaching out to shove into his shoulder. A muted laugh escaped him as he moved around the counter to get himself a plate from her cabinets and one for her as well. “I can do that. As long as I get to pick the movie. I ain’t watching no romance films. Or any of those cheesy Christmas movies.”

“Deal,” she agreed, thankful that Daryl was there, but was still ill at ease.

Part of her wondered if Daryl was more upset with her than he was allowing her to see. Truthfully? She told him about what happened at work and how she was tired, but she left out the Negan parts. And she felt like there was a reason for that. Now he knew something was going on between her and Negan.  Yet he was more so joking about it. Daryl and her had always been friends. Well, a little bit more than friends, but nothing beyond that.

Right now she didn’t want to overthink things though. Daryl seemed fine and after all the stress she had been dealing with over the last few days, she just wanted to relax. Spending the rest of her night hanging out with Daryl watching movies sounded better than anything else she could have considered. And that was the honest truth. Really she just needed time to let her emotions die down so she could think clearly. Before she fucked her life up completely and became someone she hardly even knew.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976​ @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @pixelb4rbie @ibelongtonegan

@smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan

@redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted

@akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03

@sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf

@promiscuousbarnes @lanadelnegan @peachihellcat @dilfsandmartinis

[hazalxalpman]

starter for @archiemorgan

location: his place

Hazal was sitting on the couch, petting the dog waiting for her boyfriend to return from the kitchen with their drinks. In doing so, she was scrolling through her email and she was a bit surprised. Her hand fell still on the dog and her eyes grew wide as she stared at the five emails sitting in her inbox for commissions. Hazal had them before, but they were few and far between and truthfully, most were requested by her friends. However, clicking on one of the emails, she saw that the person wasn't even in the state of Oregon. "Archie?" She furrowed her brows, "Can you look at this for me? This has to be a scam, right?"

[autumnshowell]

who: @retrospectral where: retrocity arcade, late

Hungry still, even with meat in her belly. But tiring out. So much energy and effort to run around under the moon, the glass and brick and concrete of a city she's lived in her whole life and yet never seen the way she sees it now; like a whole palette of colors she never knew existed have been wiped across her eyes. Safety. Tired. Hungry. She follows her nose, finding all of nothing until there is a faint hint of familiar. She follows it. People see her, or almost see her, but she is too tired to fight. The scent leads her here. Like Arias place, like the bowling alley, its familiar. Lights look strange through these new eyes but she follows her nose across the street and towards the door, even as it opens and a person that reeks of the familiar comes out. She knows her. Cares so deeply for her. She comes with other scents, scents that before now Autumn could never have know for what they were - but this new nature provides new context, too - all of them with names that don't make sense pass through a mind that hasn't figured out how to understand things. Kevin. Morgan. ...Laure. That one makes Autumn feel something. Pries a memory out of her mind like a letter hidden in a book. Its the most human thought she's had all night. Flashes of blood and drinking and lies. Oh the lies. Autumn pads out of the shadows, slowly at first, towards Morgan, growling, snarling, trying to speak with a maw that isn't made for the work. I have something to tell you, it is awful. She pads closer, new memories flooding into her mind like she's tapped a vein, making her emotions seethe with frustration.

[kamisadopteddaughter]

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I'm starting a new series of sorts where I go through and discuss threads on twitter that I find interesting.

(Available in my Judgment Day Masterlist)

Starting with this one:

[PART 1]

I agree with this point and see it as the strongest reasoning for why Dominik should never be positioned as a leader in Judgment Day.

It goes against something that's been established as a part of his character for years now. He's not the type to lead and has no desire to do so, which isn't the sign of weakness other people seem to think it is.

—

This point highlights the consistency of Dom's character since his debut and is a nice follow-up to the point made previously.

—

I wanted to expand on this point a bit. Something that this thread doesn't highlight that I feel fits into its narrative is that, upon her return, Rhea was only successful in recruiting Dom was making him feel safe and trusted around her (kendo stick segment).

Rhea and Dom's motivation for joining Judgment Day were similar which is why I feel they gravitated toward each other. Finn and Damian formed the other couple duo within the group and were unsuccessful in their attempts to recruit Dom because their goals for joining were all about power.

—

From my observation, some people think you're taking away the autonomy in Dominik's actions by pointing out that he wouldn't have made certain decisions without the influence of someone else.

Maybe he wouldn't have been bothered by Rey choosing Edge for that tag match at CatC if TJD weren't already after him, putting the idea in his head.

—

Dominik, in my opinion, is the only one in either version of Judgment Day to actually uphold the "family values" the group tries to establish.

It's why TNJD needed him, he's crucial to establishing the family dynamic because he's a true believer in it.

[bittcrsuite]

continued from here ♡ ( @gldnhour )

morgan didn’t look her best, rushing to alec’s place after she got into a heated debate with her parents about her future. she was tired of school, tired of everyone asking everything of her. in gray joggers and one of alec’s oversized hoodies, she turned up at the other’s doorstep without an explanation in mind. now, as she slid into his lap, with her knees pressed against his hips, she felt herself relax. “it was long. i just want to forget about it for a little bit, if that’s okay? i want a distraction.”

[infiniitefrequency]

@agentsterling​ asked: "You're forgetting how well i know you." prompts for check ins | accepting

"I have no idea what you're talking about," hair disheveled, coffee stained ring on her notebook, hunched over her desk, "I'm doing great."

[awsok]

I feel the path forward is clouded.

[deficd]

---

[gotwcird]

"i give up," zayn sighed, fumbling into morgan's living room. it was 2 a.m., and he was sweaty, dejected, and far too sober considering they'd just come back from the bar. "i failed my mission today and almost caved, morg." his mission being flirt with a girl and get her number. instead, he'd almost kissed the bartender. he threw himself onto her couch, hugging one of her throw pillows. "this being bi thing is hard. women are scary, how do you do this?"

@mcrshmcllow

[disintegreate]

⋆｡ ⋆⭒˚🕆⋆｡ ⋆⭒˚

[naughtyneganjdm]

Threads of Desire: A Christmas to Remember - Chapter 3

Summary: Y/N goes to Maggie's apartment to pick up something for work, but is shocked when she discovers a secret that Maggie is keeping. After the day she had, Y/N goes to visit with her friend Daryl Dixon who does what he can to make her feel better.

Characters: Daryl Dixon, the reader (OC), Maggie Greene, Negan Smith (only heavily mentioned), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/157163035

Warnings: Swearing, Cheating, Angst, Pretty heavy dirty talk, Implied Sex, Smut, etc.

Notes: This chapter doesn't have Negan in it, but he is mentioned. I quickly edited this. I wanted to have more of this up, but life got busy so everything may not be up by Christmas. But I'll do my best to get up the chapters as quickly as I can.

Moving through the streets of New York, Y/N cussed to herself when she worked to keep herself from falling. Of fucking course it had to be snowing right now. It fit her mood and everything that was happening. The sound of her phone going off made her frown when she reached for it to see that Negan was calling her. Rejecting the call, she was quick to put her head down and keep walking. But then immediately after he was calling her back again. Shoving her phone into her purse, she ignored the call not wanting to talk to Negan after everything.

Avoiding Negan now would be her only option with how big of a fool she made of herself tonight. After everything, there were two things she was feeling more than anything right now. Regret and anger. Regret that she let herself get to the point that she did tonight. She had worked so hard to keep her mouth shut about Maggie and how miserable she was. Putting on a façade for the last four years was something she had gotten good at, but she suddenly let go of all that in just a few hours. And anger that the person she thought was her best friend purposely went out of her way to break her heart. Hearing that Maggie was the one to pursue Negan after promising that she wouldn’t was devastating. The sad thing was though? It wasn’t hard to believe. It had become more than obvious that Maggie didn’t care for Y/N in the way that she cared about Maggie. For some reason, it always felt like a competition in life between the two of them. One that Y/N never played along with, but for some reason Maggie was. Maggie had to have the best of everything. And she had won. In her own little game, she won. Maggie had Y/N’s dream job. Maggie was dating the man that Y/N had fallen in love with.

Getting to Maggie’s apartment, Y/N dug inside of her purse to find the keys. Walking inside, the woman at the front desk already knew who she was. They didn’t know her as Maggie’s friend, but as the woman that worked for Maggie. By now? She had been back and forth in Maggie’s apartment so much that the whole staff that worked in that building knew who Y/N was.

Heading up on the elevator, she closed her eyes tightly and tipped her head back when she heard her phone buzzing again in her purse. Undoubtedly that had to be Negan. Who knows how many times he had called at this point. Jumping out of the car at a red light had to be a bit of a shocker for him, but she didn’t care. Everything had become awkward and it was more than enough for one night.

Once more today, she found herself soaked from the snow. This time though? It was much worse. Instead of being in comfortable clothes, she was in a nice dress with just her jacket that didn’t close in the front.

A ding filled the air to alert her that she was on Maggie’s floor. Moving through the hallway, she headed for Maggie’s apartment and sighed. Considering Maggie hadn’t been texting her off the hook about the event tonight, she assumed Maggie was still at the dinner meeting. Opening up the door, Y/N stepped into the apartment feeling her heart rate escalate. Loud breaths and smacking sounds were filling the air drawing Y/N’s attention toward the kitchen where Maggie was laid out across the kitchen table having someone pounding into her.

“Oh shit, I am so sorry,” Y/N immediately apologized hearing Maggie gasp out once she realized that it was Y/N that was there. Stumbling out of the apartment, Y/N was quick to close the door shut behind her. Embarrassment flooded her veins when she headed back toward the elevator. But as she stood in front of the elevator, that feeling soon changed to anger. A moment later the door to Maggie’s apartment pulled open and Maggie was wearing an oversize t-shirt that she had obviously pulled on. Glancing to Maggie, Y/N shook her head and bit back what she honestly wanted to say. “I had no idea you were in there. I was just coming to pick up the project folder for tomorrow because the meeting you had at the end of the week got pushed forward to tomorrow. I didn’t want you to forget it, so I was dropping by to pick it up to make sure you had it.”

“We need to talk,” Maggie stressed with the elevator doors opening. There was a redness flooding into her cheeks with a thin layer of sweat covering her body. There was worry in Maggie’s green eyes when Y/N shook her head. “No, you need to come with me.”

“I don’t need to do anything. Just remember to bring your project with you in the morning or the meeting isn’t going to go very well,” Y/N went to leave, but Maggie grabbed a tight hold of Y/N’s wrist dragging her back to the apartment. “Maggie, I don’t want to hear it.”

“I know what you’re thinking,” Maggie pushed Y/N into her apartment, slamming the door shut behind her. Y/N’s heart was pounding inside of her chest while Maggie attempted to gather herself. “And…you…you can’t tell Negan.”

“Tell Negan what?” she blurt out, dramatically shrugging her shoulders and throwing her hands up in the air. “That you’re cheating on him and fucking someone else?”

“Yeah, I knew you would be like this,” Maggie rolled her eyes, folding her arms out in front of her chest. “You’re my best friend, so therefore you have to be on my side of things. You can’t tell Negan what you saw today. Because one, that would break his heart and two…you just…well, you just can’t tell him.”

“I don’t lie to Negan,” Y/N declared, venom in her tone with Maggie rolling her eyes at the response. “What the hell are you even doing anyways? Negan is perfect. What are you doing fucking around on him?”

“Your undying loyalty to Negan is a little fucking pathetic Y/N. I hope you realize that,” Maggie hissed, throwing her right hand about. Whoever Maggie was screwing was in the background getting into something which had the both of them distracted for a moment, but Maggie pulled Y/N back in to focus on her. “Listen, Negan is the man that I want to marry, but I’m still young. I want to be able to have some fun before I ever consider doing something like that.”

“If you want to have that kind of life, then why are you dragging Negan along?” Y/N blurt out, every muscle in her body tensing up when she reached for her jacket that was wet. Pulling it off, she tossed it aside onto the counter and Maggie gave her a once over. “What?!”

“You wore that tonight?” Maggie seemed to be stunned with how she looked, but soon realized that she was distracted and pulled herself back into the moment. “Y/N, I like Negan. A lot. Okay? Negan is not someone I want to give up. He’s very good at sex and you know he has a big dick. That’s not really something people want to lose.”

“Wow,” nothing more could escape Y/N’s lips. “Just…wow.”

“Give me a fucking break,” Maggie scoffed, throwing her hands up in the air. “I know you have your little crush on Negan, but I’m your best friend. Your loyalty should lie with me. Not him. Fuck, it’s because of me that you actually got to see Negan naked at all. You never would have if it wasn’t for me. So maybe you should be a little thankful toward me and show me some appreciation.”

“I’m sorry, but what?” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at how out of the field that comment was. “So now I shouldn’t tell Negan about you fucking someone else because I was able to see Negan’s dick with your help?”

“I’m not wrong,” Maggie stressed her feelings toward Y/N eliciting an eye roll from her longtime friend. “You had the hots for him for so fucking long and I’m sure that getting to see him naked around the apartment all the time helped fuel your little fantasies of him.”

“Wow, you can go fuck yourself Maggie,” Y/N snarled attempting to move around Maggie only to hear the sound of something being dropped behind them. Looking over her shoulder, Y/N let out a loud exhale when she saw Guy Vixen walking around Maggie’s kitchen completely naked. A breath caught in her throat realizing that it was their boss that she had walked in on fucking Maggie. “Holy shit.”

“I know you told me to wait in your bedroom, but…I didn’t want to,” Guy’s thick accent slurred from his lips, waving his hand about after he grabbed a glass for himself. “I was thirsty and I got sick of waiting for you and…”

Guy paused when his eyes connected with Y/N’s. Moving around the bar that was at the center of the kitchen, he stopped when he stood before her, “Oh hello. Look at you. You are ravishing. Maggie, who is this. Is she a gift? Something that we can both play with?”

“I uh…” Y/N dropped her head down to see that Guy was still very much up from the action that she had interrupted. An uncomfortable breath escaped her throat when Guy lifted his hand to drag his finger down over the center of her chest toward her breasts. “I work for you. Well, I work with Maggie.”

“Oh! You’re that cute little thing from this morning?” Guy questioned, closing the distance between the two of them. “Fuck honey, if I knew you looked like that under all those clothes I would have invited you a long time ago.”

“Guy!” Maggie snapped, but it didn’t draw the brown eyes of their boss to pull from Y/N. Tugging slightly at the material of Y/N’s dress had it pulling forward with Guy attempting to get a look at Y/N’s breasts. “She’s not here as a third!”

“She may have not come with the intentions of being a third, but now that she’s hear soaking wet…” Guy swept his fingers down over her arms, stepping forward causing Y/N to take one step back. “Don’t be shy. I have enough in me to share with the both of you. You can ask Maggie, she’s tried him many times. And he delivers every time.”

“And suddenly we are talking about your dick in third person,” Y/N felt her face grow hot with her boss like this before her. This was the man that she admired growing up. The person that inspired her to even get into the business. So to say this was uncomfortable? It was an understatement. Not that Guy wasn’t good looking. He was incredibly good looking. And he didn’t look bad naked. He had a very chiseled physique. Unlike Negan, you could tell that he worked out a lot. And his rippled abdomen, buff chest and veins that were prominent in his arms showed it.

Noticing that she was staring at his arm, Guy flexed his arm slightly to bulge his bicep, flashing her a bright smile. “You like the way that looks? Little offended that you are looking there and not at my penis, but the arms and chest are nice so I don’t blame you for getting a look in.”

“Maggie,” she spoke her friend’s name feeling cornered when Guy blocked her in, placing both of his hands on the wall beside her. “Mr. Vixen?”

“Just Guy,” he smiled, letting out a disappointed breath when Maggie worked her way between the two of them. Pressing into Guy’s chest had him rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in the air. “Come on Maggie. Have a little fun here. You two are hot. I’m hot. I think the three of us could really have fun. You two can make out a little. I’d love to come on her tits.”

Lowering her head, Y/N looked down at her breasts and wondered if she had really kept them hidden that much since people had been so drawn to them tonight.

“Guy, it’s not going to happen. We aren’t those kind of…friends,” Maggie suggested, not sure how to get the man to back off in the least. “Just go back to my room and I’ll be there in a few minutes. I promise.”

“You get me excited for something more only to turn me down and disappoint me,” Guy pouted, palming down over the center of his chest toward his mid abdomen. Locking eyes with Y/N, he threw his hand up in the air and smiled. “Since Maggie is a buzzkill, if you ever decide that you want to have sex, just come see me at work. I’m not kidding when I tell you that I’d love to come all over your tits. They are incredible.”

“Guy!” Maggie interrupted him after Y/N let out a nervous laugh at how forward he was being. “Anyone else and you’d be worrying about a massive sexual harassment charge right now.”

“I’m telling the woman that I’d like to fuck her. I don’t think that’s bad,” Guy stressed, stumbling back toward Maggie’s room with Maggie pushing into him. Waving his hand at Maggie, Guy got her to step away from him and he laughed. “Fine! Be that way. But I’m just letting her know that I mean it. The offer is on the table.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Y/N gave Guy an answer with him pointing at her, smiling over the top when he headed back into Maggie’s bedroom. Once he was in, Maggie slowly turned to look at Y/N. “Things make so much more sense now. Although, I did think he was gay so that’s surprising.”

“He’s pansexual,” Maggie alerted Y/N suddenly feeling awkward about the exchange between Guy and Y/N since she was just having sex with the guy. “I’m not sleeping with him because he’s the boss. We’ve been doing this off and on because…”

“I didn’t even suggest that, but now that you put it out there…” Y/N breathed out, folding her arms in front of her chest knowing that it did come off strange that Maggie was in fact fucking the boss.

“Don’t even start with me,” Maggie warned throwing her finger out at Y/N who leaned back against the wall. “You can tell that he’s very…forward. And it’s easy to fall for it with the way that he looks. So I don’t want to hear that I’m screwing my way to the top.”

“I never said that,” Y/N reminded Maggie feeling a sense of happiness in the moment that Maggie felt bad about the situation. “You did.”

“Regardless, you really have no right to judge me,” Maggie claimed, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. A sound of frustration fell deep from within her. “I know you’re just jumping at the idea to tell Negan I’m cheating on him so you can get your nails into him.”

“Get my nails into him?” Y/N repeated, a fire building up in her veins. “You know, Negan told me a few interesting stories tonight. Here you are begging me to be your best friend and be loyal to you, but Negan let me in on some things that made me realize just how much of my best friend that you aren’t.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Maggie wondered, her eyebrow arching when she braced her hands on the counter.

“You knew how much I liked him,” Y/N spoke quietly, trying to make sure that Guy didn’t hear their fight about another man. “I told you how in love with him I was and you still went after him. You swore to me that you wouldn’t. You even promised me that after he brought you those flowers that you wouldn’t let anything else happen, but then you did. And I thought it was on him, so that’s why I never really held you responsible. But tonight he told me that you kept coming back to his class to flirt with him. That you’re the one that kept coming. That you were the one that swore to him that I wouldn’t be coming home the night you fucked him on the couch. You knew I was coming home. You set it up so I could see what you had done…”

“I…” Maggie looked like she was going to rip into her, but stopped when she thought about what Y/N had said. “You know what? I’m not even going to fight about it. Yeah. I went after Negan. For four years, I had to listen to you whine about how in love you were with this guy. And then I walk in to see how fucking hot he is. And after four years? You didn’t try a fucking thing. So I didn’t see the big deal. Negan was hot. You weren’t making your move. That’s not my fault. Plus, it’s not like I had to work that hard to get him to come to me. You can be in love with someone all you want, but that doesn’t mean that he has the same feelings toward you. Which he obviously didn’t. It’s not you that Negan has feelings for Y/N, it’s me. You were never going to hook up with Negan in the first place. I needed you to realize that so you could fucking move on with your life. Instead, you’ve remained incredibly loyal to him and his daughter, but you’re never going to get what you want. Even if you do run off to him and tattle on me about what you saw here. It’s been eight years Y/N. If it hasn’t happened yet, it’s never going to. You’re not his type. And he doesn’t like you like that.”

Parting her lips, Y/N went to say something, but felt that lump returning to her throat again. Maggie was right. She witnessed that firsthand tonight. Negan didn’t like her like that. So what could she honestly say to combat that?

“It’s your fault for not trying first,” Maggie stuck to her guns about the situation with Negan, tipping her head from side to side. “Not that he would have said yes because…trust me. If he didn’t want you when you were taking care of his kid, he was never going to want you. You’re just a glorified nanny Y/N.”

“Fuck you Maggie,” she shook her head, trying to get Maggie to move but Maggie wasn’t budging. Frustrated, Y/N stepped back and shook her head. “You are the worst fucking friend in the world. You know that?”

“Why? Because I have the things that you want but never fought hard enough to have?” Maggie snapped back, closing the distance between the two of them. “What exactly makes me a bad friend, huh? As far as I’m concerned, I’m the best fucking thing that happened to you. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be nowhere. I’m the one that brought you into Vixen. I make it possible for you to live in the city that you always dreamt of living in. I’m the one that makes sure you put food in your mouth. I allowed you to fill your dirty little fantasies to finally get to see Negan naked in the ways that you wanted. When I look at it? I’m the best friend you’ve got. All of those things I can take away from you in an instant. Your job. Your home. And with one conversation with Negan, I can take him and Jordyn away from you too. So why don’t you show me some gratitude instead of threatening me over a crush you were too much of a pussy to try anything with.”

Backing down, Y/N started to feel small again realizing that Maggie was right. This job was the only thing keeping her in New York City. Talking to Negan tonight confirmed with her that she couldn’t get a job to fall back on. If she lost her job, she would lose her apartment which meant she would have to leave the city. And after hearing all the people talking about Maggie at work tonight with Negan, she knew that with the proper persuasion, Maggie probably could have Negan kick her out of Jordyn’s life.

“That’s what I thought. Big and bad until reality smacks you upside the head,” Maggie grumbled under her breath with the color flooding into Y/N’s face. “For fuck’s sake. I have been dating Negan for four years and you still have that fucking crush controlling you. If you haven’t figured it out in eight years, it’s time for you to wake the fuck up. He doesn’t want you Y/N. So what is running to him and telling him that you found me sleeping with someone else going to do?”

“Is Guy the only one?” Y/N inquired getting a laugh from Maggie in return. “That’s a no.”

“Does it matter how many people I’m sleeping with on the side?” Maggie pushed, stealing a quick look to her bedroom to see that Guy was laid out across her bed skimming through things on his phone. “It wouldn’t change the conversation regardless. You should be loyal to me. Not him. Yes, I’m sleeping around with multiple people. No, I don’t want to stop it. It’s not cheating if it’s not an emotional relationship with someone. Then I would feel like I was cheating on Negan. Otherwise, it is what it is.”

“Negan deserves better than this Maggie,” Y/N alerted Maggie of how she felt about the situation, even knowing that Negan would never want to be with her.

“You don’t really know him Y/N. So don’t tell me what he does and does not deserve,” Maggie snapped at Y/N, rolling her eyes at the comment in general. “Negan isn’t the Mr. Wonderful that you think he is. I’m going to assume that you don’t know all of him because the way at which you are his loyal little dog shows it.”

“I know Negan isn’t perfect,” she countered, shaking her head at the idea that she didn’t know all the parts of Negan. She was around him for four years before Maggie ever came around. “I’m pretty sure I know him more than you do.”

“I’m pretty sure you don’t,” Maggie corrected her, tipping her head from side to side. “Come back to me when you’ve had him balls deep inside of you and then we’ll talk.”

“You think that having sex with someone means you know them more?” Y/N breathed out with Maggie licking her lips in an arrogant sweep. “That’s very ignorant.”

“Whatever Y/N. I don’t care to have this conversation anymore. I’m busy and I’d like to get back to my night,” Maggie hissed out, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. “I just need to know if I should expect you telling Negan about this or not. So what’s it going to be? You going to go running to him? Tell him everything? Because if you plan on running to him, you don’t have to show up to work tomorrow. You’ll be looking to find yourself a new job instead.”

Staying quiet, Y/N knew that she had to swallow her pride and keep this to herself. No matter how much she hated her job, she loved this city more and she loved Jordyn. Maggie had the power to make her lose both things. Moving around Maggie, Y/N reached for her jacket that she had thrown on the counter. Pulling it back on, she went to leave only for Maggie to call out to her.

Stopping, she waited for Maggie who moved into her office. Coming back out with the project that she had showed up for, Maggie held it out to her and bit down on her bottom lip, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah,” Y/N accepted the folder, her eyes narrowing when Maggie offered up a big smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

And with that, she left.

----

There was no question that it would have been for the best if Y/N went directly home. It was late at night. She was drunk. Things were emotional. More than anything she should have been sleeping all of this off. Undoubtedly she would be having an early morning tomorrow. One where Maggie would likely give her endless amounts of shit after everything that happened tonight. Yet, she found herself headed somewhere else. Everything felt like it was spinning and she was almost afraid to go home to be alone. Right now she was experiencing everything so strongly that she knew she needed to talk to someone.

Tomorrow was going to be hard. It went against everything that she was to keep something like this from Negan. But Maggie was right about a lot of things. And she needed to talk to someone who could help her through this. Someone who understood what she was going through and knew most of the details. And there was only one person in the world that she had been completely open with about everything. That was her friend Daryl Dixon.

Y/N had also met Daryl during her freshman year of college. After getting an art degree there, Daryl worked at the college for years. A few of the professors ended up liking him so they hooked him up with a job on campus. Pretty quickly, they hit it off after meeting at a party. They were always running into each other after their first meet and it felt like the world was just telling both of them that they were meant to be in each other's lives. Even though he was older than her, they just clicked. Back when she was in college Daryl, Maggie and Negan were the three people she was the closest too. Daryl knew everything. And he was the only person that she could be completely honest with about things.

Unlike Negan and Maggie, she and Daryl had more in common. They were both very passionate about their work, but neither of them were making the kind of money that Negan and Maggie were. Daryl lived in a studio apartment in the Meat Packing District of New York City. After leaving Maggie’s apartment in the upper East side, she got a ride to his apartment. Yes, it was late at night, but she was pretty certain that he would be awake. Daryl didn’t usually sleep much. These were the hours when he thought his creativity spiked. Just like her, Daryl’s brain often never had time to silence itself.

Sluggishly moving through the hallways, Y/N stopped when she reached Daryl’s door. Pressing forward, she heard the faint sounds of music playing alerting her to the fact that he was very much awake. Knocking at the door loud enough for him to hear, she waited. Holding her shoes in one hand, she leaned against the wall across from his door. Movement inside let her know that Daryl heard her. It didn’t take long for him to unlock the door and slide it open with a heavy thud.  

Standing before her, Daryl was completely shirtless wearing only a pair of torn, weathered down blue jeans. The button in his jeans was undone and his hair was a mess. There some paint splattered over both his torso and his hands that made her smirk when she saw it. A cigarette was loosely hanging from between his lips, with his eyebrows bouncing up when their eyes finally locked.

“What in God’s name are you wearing?” Daryl snorted, his head tipping to the side as he lifted his arm to rest it against the doorframe. Gazing over her body, Daryl couldn’t but be amused seeing her dressed in what she was. Especially since he had never really seen her like that in his time being near her. “Did you come from some kinda party or somethin’?”

Instead of saying anything, a long exhale escaped her throat and when he finally noticed the expression in her eyes, Daryl knew that she needed him. Stepping aside, without question, Daryl waved her forward motioning her into his apartment.

“I take it you had a hard day?” Daryl commented, pulling his cigarette from between his lips after she lowered down just enough to walk under his arm and into his apartment. Grunting out, Daryl closed his door with a firm slam, locking things up behind him. Dragging his bare feet along the floor, Daryl headed back toward the painting that he was working on leaving her standing at the middle of his mostly empty apartment.

Daryl was a simple man. Truthfully? If Daryl would have decorated the place a little nicer, this could have been a beautiful apartment. It had huge windows that looked upon the city and it was a lot of space. On the left side of Daryl’s apartment was a very simple bed and a dresser for him to keep his clothes. At the opposite side was the kitchen area where Daryl had a bar set up where he could sit and eat. Near the middle was a single couch that had an older television sitting out before it. And toward the back of his apartment was where Daryl kept his studio for his art. This was the place that Daryl worked out of. So there were plenty of art supplies, canvases and things of that nature. Since it was Christmas time, Daryl had what she would have guessed to be a five-foot artificial Christmas tree at the opposite corner of where his bed was at the left side of the apartment. The star that was on top of it looked like it had seen better days. There were no ornaments on the tree. It just had the white lights that likely came with the tree when Daryl had bought it. Along with that, there was a line of string lights that Daryl had hung up around the bedroom area of his apartment.

“I like what you’ve done with the place for Christmas,” she pointed toward the lights provoking a grunt to fall from Daryl’s throat while he continued painting whatever it was he was working on. “It’s very much in the Christmas spirit.”

“At least I put something up,” Daryl grumbled under his breath, with his cigarette still hanging from his lips. “You mentioned the place being depressing the last time you were here, so I decided to brighten the place up a bit.”

“I wasn’t being sarcastic. I was impressed,” she implied, stepping forward across his apartment. Curling her arms around her, she realized that she was freezing. “I’m sorry for coming here. I just didn’t know where else to go. And I didn’t want to go home.”

 “You never have to apologize to me. You’re always welcome in my home,” Daryl declared, tossing his cigarette into the ashtray that was in the distance. Rubbing his hands together, Daryl cleared his throat and shrugged. Really Daryl didn’t seem too bothered at the idea of having her there. “I enjoy the company.”

“You told me that you hate being around people. You’ve said that many times,” she reminded him, getting him to roll his eyes at her comment. “You’re a loner. You like to remind me of that all the time.”

“Yeah, I hate most people. Just not you. You’re different,” Daryl muttered under his breath, simply shrugging his shoulders as he spoke. Once his blue eyes looked upon her again, Daryl frowned and pushed his chair away from his canvas that he was working on. “Do you want some pajama pants and a t-shirt? You look wet.”

“Are they clean?” she teased getting the middle finger from him in response. It made her laugh as he stood up from the seat with a groan.

Heading toward the bedroom area, Daryl pulled open one of his drawers. Pushing through some of his things, he grabbed a t-shirt and then opened another drawer for the pajama pants. Holding them at his side, Daryl approached her and held it out to her.

“They are freshly washed, I promise you,” Daryl scoffed, his face scrunching up in irritation when he threw them out to her and she laughed when she caught them.

“Thank you,” she muttered, looking down at the clothes. They did in fact smell like they were freshly washed, but she couldn’t help giving him a hard time since most of his things were covered in paint. A lot of people would give Daryl a hard time about looking dirty so he always got annoyed at those kind of comments.

“I happen to think I smell great you know,” Daryl reasoned with her looking to his hands to gaze upon the paint that was covering them. “Let me go clean up and wash this paint off of me while you change. After you get that dress off of you, we can throw it up in the bathroom to dry. I have some coffee on if you want something to help you warm up.”

“That’d be great,” she appreciated how quick he was to help her. This was like Daryl though. He’d happily welcome her into his apartment, no questions asked.

Watching him closely, she started to take off her clothes while he walked off into the bathroom. In the distance she could see his reflection in the mirror while he worked to scrub at the paint over his hands. By the time she was dressed in what he had given her, Daryl was waiting for her by the bathroom to help her get her dress up to help it dry. Motioning her toward the kitchen area of his apartment, Daryl grabbed her a mug when she went for the coffee. Setting it down on the counter, Daryl headed back toward the painting that he was working on leaving her there to prepare her coffee the way she wanted it. What amused her about Daryl is that he had two mugs. One that was his and one that he kept for her when she came over.

Grabbing one of the stray chairs that was in Daryl’s apartment, she was careful to hold the mug in one hand while she dragged her chair over beside Daryl to get a look at the painting he was working on. Taking a seat, she got comfortable and took a minute to gaze upon his art. It was a stunning portrait of a woman. And it was big. What surprised her about Daryl was how he didn’t have more jobs than he did. When Daryl did portraits, they were incredible. He was a hell of an artist and she was always impressed with the things that he was working on.

“You are so talented,” she blurt out, eliciting a scoff from Daryl who never really thought much of himself to begin with. “She’s a pretty girl. Who is she?”

“It’s a commission piece,” he answered, his fingers curling around the seat that he was on. Bracing his weight, Daryl joined her in looking at the painting. “There is something about it that doesn’t feel right.”

“You say that about all of your pieces,” she reminded him, cupping her coffee mug in her hands hoping to warm up with it there. Even though the coffee might help her sober up, she just preferred the warmth of the mug there for now. “You’re too hard on yourself.”

“Or not hard enough,” he countered, his right eyebrow arching up when he turned to look at her. A stray piece of his dark hair fell into his eyes. Pushing it back behind his ear, Daryl looked upon her expectantly. “Okay, so spill your guts. What happened? I know Christmas is the worst time of the year for you with work.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with me venting to you?” she wondered, showing a sense of worry about coming to Daryl only to complain about her life. Standing up from the stool that he was on, Daryl grabbed one of his normal chairs and pulled it in front of her. Turning it around, Daryl straddled the chair and lowered down, crossing his arms over the top part of the back of the chair.

“When have I ever had a problem with you talking to me?” Daryl seemed frustrated that she would even ask him that. Shaking his head, Daryl sighed loudly and lowered his head to rest his chin on his arms. “After this long, I think you know I will listen to you anytime you want to talk.”

“I don’t know Daryl. I just feel bad that I always come to you when I’m upset. I just think you may be my only real friend at this point,” she confessed to him, hating to say it but it was how she felt. Daryl was the only person that she had a bond with where it didn’t feel fake with him. There was nothing about their relationship that was conditional. “I don’t want you thinking you’re my last resort. Because you’re not. I appreciate you and everything you do for me. You’re just the only person that makes me feel like I can really be me. The only person that I can be honest with.”

“That’s because I am,” Daryl snorted, giving her a wrinkle of his nose. It had her smiling when he threw his hand up in the air. It was blunt, but he probably wasn’t wrong. “But that’s okay because you are the only person that I feel that way with too. So go for it. Tell me what’s up.”

“Before I go off and make myself look bad, do you have something that you want to talk about first?” she wanted to open the door to give Daryl the opportunity to talk about his life so she didn’t feel like such an asshole about things.

Chuckling at the idea, Daryl shook his head and nodded toward his painting, “What you see behind me is the only difference in my life right now. Same old, same old. Just painting. I’m a very boring person.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” she refused, shaking her head in response.

“You’re delaying talking about why you are here,” Daryl pushed, tapping his hands against the back of the chair with his blue eyes narrowing. “So go ahead.”

“I’m just…not happy,” she whispered, having a hard time looking Daryl in the eye when she finally admitted things to him. “Every day, I find myself hating my life more and more. I used to be able to hold it in, but today, I just…I let a lot of it slip and that’s not like me.”

“Everyone has their breaking point. You just waited four years to have yours,” Daryl thought aloud, “I’m surprised it took you this long. I would have erupted in the first year from all of it. The first day really. Maggie really needs to be knocked on her ass.”

“Daryl,” she couldn’t help but be amused at how simply he said things. Shrugging dramatically, Daryl didn’t seem to care that his comment sounded harsh. “I can’t do that.”

“Oh, you can do that. And you should do that, you just won’t,” Daryl stressed, throwing his hands about while he spoke. “You just won’t. All because of a stupid promise you gave her father. I doubt her father knew that she was such a cunt. And I don’t think he’d want you being miserable to make sure his daughter had a good life.”

“Touché,” she exhaled loudly, knowing that Daryl hated Maggie. In her years of being close to both Daryl and Maggie, it was very obvious that the both of them heavily disliked each other. And they always did. Not once did they let up on it.

“I don’t know why you hold so tightly to that promise,” Daryl’s southern drawl had her sighing loudly. “Never did I understand it. I don’t think he expected you to make yourself miserable to lift his daughter up when she didn’t deserve it. He’d probably want you to put Maggie in her place.”

“Hershel was the closest thing to a father figure I had in my life for a long time,” she reminded Daryl, but that was a response that he never really went for. There was always an excuse she had as to why she continued to let things go with Maggie and he hated that. “You know I’m alone.”

“First of all, fuck you. You’re not alone. You have me,” Daryl grumbled under his breath, leaning back enough to place his hand in over the center of his bare chest. “Second, just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to suffer through this bullshit.”

“I don’t really think I can put up with much of her bullshit anymore,” she acknowledged, the lump in her throat growing along with the ache in her chest. After tonight she felt like her tolerance was completely starting to disappear. “I have finally realized that Maggie was never really my friend in the first place.”

“No shit,” Daryl scoffed, his nose wrinkling in disgust. That was something he tried to convince her for a very long time, but she never seemed to open her eyes to the truth. So to hear her talking like that made Daryl happy. “I’ve always told you that. Anyone with eyes can tell she uses you to make herself feel better. Common sense Y/N. She stole your work in order to get a job.”

“She said that was an accident,” she alerted Daryl who grumbled a slew of curse words under his breath.

“Right,” Daryl bit down on his bottom lip, his body tensing up because there was no way he believed that comment. And really? She didn’t either. It did feel purposeful at the time. “She took the job you always wanted. The job she didn’t even want. She just did it to do it. Now, she wants it cus’ she likes the attention it gets her and she still uses you all the time.”

Giving a single nod, she knew that Daryl wasn’t wrong.

“A friend don’t fuck the guy you’ve been in love with for years either,” Daryl slurred, his southern tone growing deeper with him lifting his hand to wave it about to make a point. “Maggie wants to hurt you because hurting you proves she’s better than you. And you let her hurt you. We both know she’s a fucking cunt.”

Sighing loudly, Y/N forced herself to look down at the ground. There was a warmth flooding into her face and she hated to admit Daryl was right, but she knew he was correct all along, “You’re not wrong.”

“I’m happy you’re finally agreeing with me, but what did she do to make you say fuck this?” Daryl inquired, his eyebrow arching up in curiosity. “Usually, you put up more of a fight than this for Maggie.”

“It’s a buildup of things. The abuse I take every day. The lack of acknowledgement or credit for the work that I do and the ideas I provide her with. It was no different today than the rest of the days, but today she was supposed to do an event for Negan. Be a key speaker at an event to try to get donations for the college we used to go to,” she educated Daryl on how her day began. “Apparently she had a sudden meeting that she couldn’t miss. So she told me to step in for her. Didn’t ask me. And like I always do, I saved Maggie’s ass. I went to this event and I started talking to Negan. I was very blunt with him tonight. I couldn’t hold it in about being miserable. And I couldn’t hold in my feelings about Maggie. I just let them rip. I asked him why he fell for Maggie and he told me that the day after she met him she kept going back every day to flirt with him. Saying she was very blunt about it. Persistent. And the day that I found them having sex together on our couch in our apartment, Maggie told Negan that I would be gone all night because I would be spending time with you. Maggie knew very well that I would be coming home. She staged it so I would see it.”

“See, this is what I’m saying,” Daryl scowled, his blue eyes narrowing. “The bitch deserves to get knocked on her ass. She’s not your friend. She never was. And Negan needs a swift kick to the balls for falling for it.”

“She promised me that she wouldn’t let things go any further. She knew how much I loved him and she still did that,” she felt her heart breaking considering this was the person that she took care of more than anyone, other than Jordyn. For so long she thought Maggie was her best friend, but no one had ever hurt her as much as Maggie had. “I asked Negan what he loved about her today, what it was that drew him to her. It’s obvious that he’s head over heels in love with her. Just the way other people talk about her says he can’t stop talking about her. And then I asked him what he thought about me.”

“You’re just asking to be hurt,” Daryl hissed at the idea of whatever it was that Negan said because now it was starting to make sense why she looked so upset. “I hate that piece of shit too.”

“He told me that he got with Maggie because she reminded him of Lucille and that she was the first person to show interest,” she recalled what it was that Negan had said while they were together. “I can’t imagine he didn’t know how I felt about him.”

“Unless he was fucking stupid,” Daryl declared getting her to laugh at how firmly he made that statement.

“He told me that he views me as his angel. The woman who saved him. And like I’m the mother to his daughter,” she informed Daryl what Negan had said, breaking it down in not so many words. “And then I asked him why he didn’t try to hook up with me. He uh…he laughed.”

“I told you I never liked that motherfucker,” Daryl put emphasis on his words, throwing his hand about when he spoke. “I know you think that he’s this special guy, but he always rubbed me the wrong way. Allowing you to take care of his daughter while he was off having a mental fucking breakdown and then fucking your best friend? Fuck that dude Y/N. I don’t understand why you are so head over heels for him in the first place. The one time I sat in his class, I felt like he was the most arrogant prick I’d ever listened to. The ego on him was fucking huge.”

“There are parts of him that I know that other people don’t,” she was quick to defend Negan, but then she even rolled her eyes at her own comment. “It doesn’t matter how I feel about things because he doesn’t feel the same way about me and I know that. Tonight confirmed it for me. But it doesn’t stop there.”

“Oh boy,” Daryl couldn’t believe that there was more. Especially after the whole Negan thing. Knowing that Negan confirmed that he didn’t like her like that should have been the main thing to devastate her. If there was something worse, Daryl knew it had to be bad.

“I went to pick up something for work,” Y/N nodded in the direction of the things she brought with her from Maggie’s house. “I walked in on Maggie having sex with our boss. And I mean, he was really giving it to her. Good. The first thing she jumped on was begging me to not tell Negan. But then her begging went to her down talking me putting me in a corner. She threatened to take away my job if I told Negan about her having an affair. I guess it’s pretty normal for her to fuck a lot of people. She told me that if I told Negan what I saw, she would get Jordyn taken away from me. She would take away my job. And I’d be forced to leave New York because I’d have no income.”

“That’s when you should have said fuck you Maggie, I’m calling his ass right now,” Daryl snorted, his throat tensing up along with the muscles in his chest. Tossing his hand up, he pointed at her when he saw the color flooding into her face. “But you didn’t.”

“She is capable of that Daryl. I can’t get another job. I’ve been a glorified slave over the last four years. And then I asked Negan today if he could get me a job in the film industry and he told me it was pretty much impossible,” she repeated what Negan had told her earlier getting Daryl to roll his eyes. Dropping his head down, Daryl grumbled under his breath and shook his head. “I need my paycheck. I can’t keep my apartment if I lose my job. And you know how much Jordyn means to me.”

“I’ve seen you with Jordyn. That little girl would not allow that to happen. Maggie could shit talk you to Negan, but Jordyn loves you. You are unfortunately like that little girl’s mother. You co-parent a child with Negan without having the man nut in you,” Daryl rambled on, getting a tiny laugh from her throat at how forward he was about things. “And your job? So what? Lose your job. I’ll move you in here with me until we can get you on your feet. You’re talented. Your talent will speak for itself eventually. And if you can’t get something, I can talk to Carol.”

“We’re not going to get the help of that woman that you had an affair with when you were younger,” she frowned at the suggestion of it making Daryl laugh. That was something Daryl always said to her when she was upset. “I know the two of you are like good friends now, but it would feel weird.”

“She works at the rival company of Vixen,” Daryl reminded Y/N of the hookup that he had who could help her. “I’m sure if we wanted to, we could give her some of your work and she’d easily get you a job there. You would be like their secret weapon against Guy Vixen and fucking Maggie Greene. There are options. Do not let that woman overrule your life.”

“It’s Jordyn I’m the most worried about,” she knew that the other things were bad, but it was Negan’s daughter that left the lasting impression on her. “I know how much Negan loves Maggie. If she wants me out of their lives, I’ll lose that little girl. And I’m not really her mother so it will be easy for Maggie to achieve.”

“God,” Daryl huffed out, lifting his hand to bury his head at the center of it. “Why did you have to fall for Negan? Falling for me would have been so much easier.”

“Yes, I know,” she sighed loudly, falling back against her chair with Daryl slowly lifting his head. Arching his eyebrow, Daryl’s blue eyes locked on hers and she shook her head. “You remind me of that all the time.”

“I was head over heels in love with you when we first met,” Daryl stated, biting down on his bottom lip recalling what it was like for him when he first met her. “If you would have just fallen for me instead of that prick, things would have been a whole lot easier for you.”

“But I don’t think we would have been this close,” she spoke honestly, her eyebrows furrowing with Daryl speaking up about them getting together again.

“You know the first time that you slept with me was when you found Maggie and Negan together, right?” Daryl pointed out, leaning back in the chair drawing attention to his chest and it made her suck in a sharp breath of air. “I took advantage that night and it was wrong.”

“I was throwing myself at you hard and I knew how you felt about me. So if someone is bad in the relationship, it was me,” she defended Daryl who tipped his head to the side, a muscle in his jaw flexing. “I thought that was the way to make myself feel better. Sex with you makes me feel better.”

“So is that why you’re here? You want to have sex?” Daryl offered causing her to smirk and have color flood into her face further. “I’m not joking. Us having sex has helped you feel better multiple times. I have a brand-new pack of condoms in the nightstand. We can get naked, turn off the lights. Open up the windows and let the light from the city flood in. Keep the tree and the string lights on. And we can have sex during the winter storm. It can be a whole new experience for you.”

Biting at her bottom lip, she gave Daryl a look that had him huffing out. Throwing his hands up in the air, he shook his head and tapped his hands against the chair again, “We have sex all the time Y/N. I don’t get why you’re second guessing it now.”

“We have sex when we’re horny Daryl. I don’t trust random strangers,” she admitted to him, an ache flooding her chest with the expression that he had over his features. “Plus, you’re my best friend. I feel like if we continue to have sex, the lines are going to blur.”  

“If that was the case, the lines blurred a long time ago because we’ve had sex a lot,” Daryl countered, sucking at his bottom lip, his blue eyes locking with hers and it made her heart skip a beat. “I think it’s so good because we are close.”

“It sounds like you’re the one that might want the sex,” she noted, licking her lips when she started to consider Daryl’s offer.

“So what if I do? It makes both of us feel good for a while. I’m telling you, if Negan knew how good you were at riding a cock, he would give up Maggie in an instant,” Daryl spouted off getting her to choke at how blunt he was being about the sex life that they had shared together. “I’m just saying, I’ve never nutted so hard in my life.”

“Thanks Daryl,” she snickered at the thought, shaking her head when she considered what Daryl was offering. “I guess, just with Negan…I’ve never felt so unwanted in my life.”

“Then come here,” Daryl wiggled his fingers about, getting up from the chair and moving over toward the bed. Dropping down on the bottom of it, Daryl started to push at his jeans working them down his legs. It had her staring out at him from where she was seated on the chair. “I’ll make you feel wanted. Show you the things you wish he would.”

“Sex doesn’t fix things Daryl. It feels good for a small amount of time, but that’s it,” she reasoned with Daryl, getting up from the chair that she was seated in to stare down at him as she approached the bed. “These are genuine things that I’m worried about. Things that…”

“Things that aren’t going to go away overnight. Nothing I say is going to fix these things cus’ you are going to do what you want to do at the end of the day,” Daryl grumbled under his breath, outstretching his fingers toward the nightstand. Pulling open the top drawer, he pulled out the pack of condoms and snagged one of the foil packages from it. “You want to feel special. I see it in the way that you are looking at me. Let me make you feel special.”

Sinking his fingers into his boxers that he was wearing, Daryl pushed the material down his body by lifting his hips up. Letting the material pool at his ankles, he kicked it aside and wiggled his finger at her again, “You know I’m drunk.”

“I’m never not drunk,” Daryl slurred with a grunt, his blue eyes watching her closely when she looked down at his naked body. By having the discussion that they were, Daryl was somewhat erect. “It’s not like either one of us would be taking advantage of the other. We’re two friends that enjoy having sex together. You’re looking for someone to make you feel good. I enjoy any time I get to spend with you. If this isn’t what you want, I’ll just as happily lay down in bed with you and we can talk the rest of the night.”

Biting down on his bottom lip, Daryl watched her movements as she stepped forward. Moving for the windows, she pulled apart the curtains to let the light in from the outside. Heading next for the lights, she turned them off only allowing the city lights to flood into his apartment along with the Christmas lights. Stepping in front of Daryl, she felt her heart rate quicken with the way that he was staring up at her in the shadows. Working out of his t-shirt, she tossed it onto the bed and then worked on the pajama pants. There was something in the way that he looked at her that made her feel seen. That made her feel special.

“Do you think I have nice breasts?” she wondered, standing before Daryl naked and it made him smirk. Since those were the main topic of tonight, it was something that had been on her mind a lot. “Because tonight, everyone kept talking about them. I didn’t realize how capable they were of drawing attention.”

“I think you already know the answer to that question,” Daryl braced himself when she moved carefully in over him. Pressing his hands in over her sides, Daryl gave her hips a firm squeeze with her right arm hooking loosely around his muscular shoulders. “They are nice breasts. So of course they could make anyone do anything. You should use them more often.”

Pulling her in over his lap, Daryl reached for the condom that he grabbed being careful to work open the foil packaging. Faintly, her hands dragged down over his shoulders toward his chest. Caressing up over the side of his neck had Daryl tipping his head to the side and she pampered his neck with tiny kisses. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, Daryl’s eyes came to a tight close before forcing himself to focus. Working his condom on, Daryl grunted and curled his arm around her waist to pull her firmly in over him. Clasping her chin between his thumb and index finger, Daryl got her to lock eyes with him and he dragged his thumb over her bottom lip.

“I wish you allowed yourself to see you the way I always saw you,” Daryl slurred, lifting up enough to capture her lips in a lingering kiss. Reaching between the two of them with his free hand, he helped to lead his body to hers. It had her eyes closing tightly, the warmth of her breath vibrating against his when she moaned at their bodies being joined together. Hovering his lips over hers, Daryl brushed his thumb at the side of her neck and tipped his head back. “You are so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

Allowing her to make the first move, Daryl was silent when she took her time lifting her hips and then slowly lowered them over him. Staring up at her with awe, he was breathless with the way that her head tipped back. A rush of pleasure flooded into her face and it was something he knew that he was addicted to. Palming down over her back, Daryl stopped when his hands squeezed firmly at her bottom helping to aid her movement over his rigid length, “You’d be the most arrogant woman alive if you gave yourself that opportunity.”

“You wouldn’t like me arrogant,” she hushed him, pressing wet kisses over his bottom lip. Cupping his face in her hands, she allowed her right hand to caress in over the side of his neck. Sinking her fingers into his hair had him tipping his head back with her lips hovering in over his. “You like me the way I am.”

“But I’d rather you happy,” Daryl commented, his eyelids growing heavy with his sharp breathing filling the dark room with their bodies moving in unison. Winces fell from Daryl’s throat when her movements gradually grew harder and faster. Dropping his head down, Daryl rest it against the side of her neck with her clinging firmly to him. “Negan is a goddamn fool.”

“I think I’m the fool,” she alerted him, tugging firmly at his mid-length hair. Bouncing her hips over him harder had Daryl moaning against her flesh, the warmth of his breath causing chills down her spine. “I should have known that he’d never love me or want me.”

“Then that’s his loss,” Daryl grunted, forcefully rolling her over onto her back. Crawling carefully in over her, Daryl hooked his arm around her, bringing them closer together. With his free hand, he swept his thumb in over her jawline and let out a tremoring breath. “Anyone with half a brain would see how special you are. He had eight years to see it and he never made a move. So that’s his loss. Don’t forget how special you are. How beautiful you are.”

Daryl’s thrusts were slow, his breathing broken with every roll of his hips against hers. Meeting her in small kisses over and over, Daryl cradled her head tenderly. Lowering in closer to her, he braced his weight and started to move faster having her pants fill the air. Nibbling at her bottom lip, he groaned with her fingers digging into his flesh.

“Look at me,” he breathed, curling his fingers around the back of her neck, his lips hovering over hers. Just close enough for his lips to skim faintly at her bottom lip. “Never doubt how perfect you are.”

Lifting up, she stole a kiss from Daryl’s lips knowing that this was a bad way to do things. What should have been a onetime thing between them had grown to be pretty consistent. With how she knew Daryl felt about her, it made her feel like a bad person every time she let this happen. Daryl never hid his feelings from her. So for him to know that she was head over heels in love with Negan, yet she was still having sex with Daryl pretty frequently felt wrong. But there was something about the way that Daryl looked at her. Touched her. Spoke to her. It all made her feel special. Something she hadn’t felt in many years.

And that’s why she had trouble turning him down. Not only tonight but all the other nights before. Although, she needed this more than she even knew. Because Daryl was the only person that made her feel seen and tonight proved that.

----

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[arthurs-flower-jar]

had to get an orth'r out of my system

[hazalxalpman]

starter for @archiemorgan

location: paris, france

Hazal woke up in Paris, France and still couldn't believe it. "Archie," she whispered, rolling over to face her boyfriend. Whom she also couldn't believe she was in Paris with. "It's morning time," Hazal whispered once more, pressing her lips against his cheek. "Or I think it is," the time zone had completely thrown the woman for a loop and she could see the sunlight starting to stream in. However, she hadn't checked the time before rolling over to wake Archie up. "It could be noon for all I know," she teased, kissing his cheek again with a smile curling against her lips.

[kimmiessimmies]

Bestseller (7/26)

That Wednesday at 2 pm, Morgan arrived at The Tea Cosy, where she and Lindy had agreed to meet.

"I'm so glad you could meet me!" Lindy said after she and Morgan were settled with a cup of tea.

"I'm very excited to hear your proposition," Morgan smiled.

[sanjitxgupta]

starter for @donnymorgan

location: cedar grill and lounge

Sanjit was making his rounds around Kismet Harbor restaurant locations. New bottles of wine had just been bottled at the vineyard and it was time to distribute them. "Knock, knock," Sanjit joked as he pushed through the back door of Cedar Grill and Lounge where he often made deliveries, "I come with new wine for a new year," he called out, having not seen Donovan and not even knowing if the man was down in the lounge or not. As he stepped further into the back of the restaurant, he spotted him, "Where do you want these, boss?"