#THIS WAS SUCH A BLESSED MOMENT i'm so glad they went all the way w logan being bi

[nellielsss]

ƈɧąʂıŋɠąŋɠɛƖʂ.ƈơɱ ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

Summary: where lonely hearts can congregate & explore new, exciting taboos! what do you get when you pair a lonely divorcée with an equally lonely girl? find out here, at chasingangels.com! Note: I saw a janitor AI bot that was like a dating app and was inspired to write this, I also just wanted to write about the issues of finding a good match as a trans girl! y'know, since a lot of us tend to fuck w DL men 💀 reader is also kinda Gyaru-coded in terms of appearance but she's not fully immersed in Gyaru culture. Warnings: website is implied to be for chasers (men who go after trans women specifically), protected sex, rough sex, kinda angst + comfort Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x mtf!reader WC: 14.5k words... yeah I'm not proofreading this ☠️ if it has bad grammar or cringy dialogue anywhere my apologies!!! this fic took me like 5 days so I'm glad to be done w it

╰┈➤ "And... still nobody worth it," you sighed, clicking off from the website that you'd spent weeks surfing through. You put your laptop back in your Hello Kitty computer sleeve, put it in your purse, and went on your way.

The website you'd decided to put your love life line on the line for, chasingangels.com, was proving to be a hopeless endeavor. Every single day, the thought about abandoning that stupid, niche website and going back to your past days of Grindr seemed more enticing the longer you spent your time alone. The website that promised trans girls like you with a promising love life was turning out to be a gimmick, probably made to steal your data so that it could be sold to some third party buyer. It's not like it mattered to you--you didn't have nuclear codes saved on your device--but it was just so tiring.

All of it was so tiring.

All your life, you'd been quite lonely, a fact that your headstrong nature refused to admit. You grew up with everything a girl like you could've possibly hoped for: you had a loving family who accepted you for your transgender identity, plenty of friends who also accepted you, and all the money needed to buy you your expensive makeup & hormones that you'd need to become the woman you always wanted to be. Truth be told, you were quite blessed in every facet of life--you were beautiful enough before starting the hormones to pass for a cisgender woman!

But, sadly, the only facet you lacked in was love.

A curse was bestowed upon you at birth: the curse of a male body, and that same curse was the reason you never had any prospects.

The moment you told a guy about your condition, he'd run away without a second thought. Either they blocked you or did a 180 and asked you if they could play with your... male genitalia.

The few who chose to stay only ever did so by texting you after 11 PM, and the most they did was ask you for sexual favors instead. Not once did a guy hold you while wept; not once did a guy want to bring you home to mama; not once did a guy talk to you for more than a month. And what was most humiliating was you'd only ever talked to three guys--a low, single-digit number!

By the time you graduated college and entered the workforce, nothing changed, absolutely nothing. If anything, your prospects shrank, and you weren't even talking to a single guy over the phone. You were hopeless, utterly hopeless in the romantic department.

"Don't worry about it, you're too good for any man's attention!"

Said the girl with a loving boyfriend of a year.

"You already have a high paying job and a pretty face to boot, what more could you possibly want?"

Maybe the touch of a loving partner?

You were hopeless. Hopeless enough to put your trust in some shady website that one of your friends told you about, which led you to the website known as chasingangels.com. You were beginning to believe that this was all some elaborate emotional ponzi scheme, set up by people who took pleasure in breaking trans girls' hearts.

"Is it my profile?" you thought to yourself on the train. You were currently on the train to Omotesando, meeting up with said girlfriend who recommended you the site. You went under the guise of trying out a new restaurant, but in actuality you were gonna chew her out for getting your hopes up, get a beverage on the way home, and then watch some Shōjo before going to bed.

And all in a day's time... truth be told, these were what your days consisted of outside of work: drinks, meetups, and romance anime. Though most people would've looked down upon you for living such a monotonous life, you found solace in it.

There wasn't much a girl like you could do except spend her hard-earned money on snacks & clothes. Perhaps you'd get lucky and stop by a Hello Kitty store along the way? Maybe you could even adopt another cat just to be less lonely.

The loud ding! of a notification in your airpods made you jerk up in surprise, and you immediately grabbed your phone. Most apps weren't important enough to have a sound notification on, so you wondered what it could possibly be.

Wait, why were you so surprised? It was probably just an SMS message from your friend. You calmed yourself down, unlocked your phone, and swiped through your notifications until you saw it.

That godforsaken website--you made a mental note to delete it later.

👼 chasingangels.com

ミ☆ You have 1 New Message!

Tojifushiguro1: Hey there, saw your profile and thought you looked cute. Wanna get a drink & get to know each other better?

A guy who used punctuation and capitalization? He must've been old, definitely not your-

You let out an audible gasp on the train when you clicked on his profile, and you also had to turn down the brightness on your phone as well, because the profile that you just tapped on?

The profile was enough for you to make your cross your legs together.

This guy--Toji Fushiguro--was a fucking wet dream.

With shaky hands and a pounding heart, you sifted through the seven photos that he'd put up on his profile. They were all a bit shitty with bad lighting or they were taken by other people, but goddamn was that a man!

For starters, his face must've been crafted by Narcissus himself. A strong bone structure, green eyes that pierced into an onlooker's soul, and that delicious scar on his lip that only added to his appeal. He had some wrinkles underneath his eyes, no doubt indicating that he was a bit older than you.

The next photo almost made you choke on your own spit in the train. It was a full body shot of him standing up with a guy (whose face he made sure to blur out), and by god was he the definition of an adonis even with clothes on. Just by standing still w/ a straight face without doing anything extra, you could make out some broad shoulders, arms that were probably bigger than your head, traps that tapered into a thin, toned waist, and a thick, muscular chest that you just wanted to lay your head on!

When you got to the shirtless photos you had to put your phone away for a good second before looking at the rest of his profile. His body was a marble statue straight out of the Roman Empire, complete with shredded abs, intense vasculature, and everything else that a girl could want in a man's body.

You knew that where you lived, the ideal male standard was more feminine than masculine, therefore you knew that finding a man like him was like finding a tiny shard of a diamond deep inside of a coal mine. Coincidentally, he was also exactly your type, so every atom in your body screamed at you to get on it and reply!

But you were rational; you didn't think with your pussy. You looked at all the photos in detail to get a better idea of what he was like, and you also examined his bio for any red flags. So far, the only ones that stuck out to you were his single father status & the fact that he was on a dating site designed for connecting men with trans women--the name literally had the verb "chase" in it!

°•. ★ .•° Tojifushiguro1's FAQ:

Age: 35

Sexuality: straight

Marital status: divorced w/ 1 kid

Likes: UFC fights, fishing, 90s rock, a good beer

Looking for: a girl who knows how to have fun & also get serious, someone mature.

Yeah, he totally fit the image he portrayed. He might've only been 35 but he typed like a boomer with the lack of description in his bio & the message that was chalked full of grammar and proper spelling. The images he'd included in his profile were also so very different from the design and aesthetic of this website, it almost made you laugh.

This man could also be catfishing you, so you made sure to do a quick reverse search...

... and nothing. Wow, so this guy really existed, and he also really wanted you.

Wait a damn minute. He, an adonis, with probably more prospects than a computer science student's job offers, wanted you: a girl who couldn't get dick to save her life?!

What kind of an idiot were you--get on with it already!!

With shaky fingers, you opened his message and looked at it over & over again. If you didn't reply, then you'd be safe, but you'd also potentially miss out on something exciting; however, if you did reply, then the trajectory of your life could possibly change forever.

With even shakier fingers, you typed out a response to his dm:

automaticprincess7: Hi! I'm so glad you clicked on my profile out of all the others--I would love to meet up with you somewhere! Although, I gotta warn you: I don't drink much... maybe a coffee shop would be nicer?

tojifushiguro1 is typing...

Oh god, he was already typing that out?! He did send the initial message two minutes ago...

tojifushiguro1: I'll go anywhere if it means I get to see that pretty face in person ;)

Just in the second message alone, he was laying on the charm, you could see that much. He didn't seem like the type of guy to hold out on what he wanted or beat around the bush--just your type. You hated guys your age for playing games and stringing you along for no reason, so you welcomed the change of pace.

automaticprincess7: Fushiguro!! Ur already making me blush while I'm on the train... >///<

tojifushiguro1: I can't wait to make you blush even harder in person, doll. Why don't we meet up tomorrow? I ain't got work, so I'm free all day long.

Tomorrow--he wanted to meet with you tomorrow?! But... but that was so quick, you haven't had enough time to even mentally prepare yourself for this hunk of a man!! Then again, what difference does it make if all you're looking for is a guy who'll give you some attention & pipe? Still, you had to play coy--you can't be so forward just yet.

automaticprincess7: but that's so early...

tojifushiguro1: why, you got work tomorrow?

automaticprincess7: no, I'm also free; honestly, truth be told, I've never met up with anyone online like this, especially not from this website.

tojifushiguro1: really? I'd imagined a girl as gorgeous as you would've had plenty of men lining up to take her out for dinner--I was just hoping to be next in line haha.

automaticprincess7: well, not exactly...!

tojifushiguro1: so this means I'll be the one to pop your internet cherry, huh? Well then, ain't I a lucky guy?"

automaticprincess7: ewww, don't call it that!!

tojifushiguro1: I'm just messin' with ya, doll. Anyway, does tomorrow work? I'll need to find a babysitter for the kid soon, so I need a yes or no.

Right, he was a single father... still, he was just so enigmatic, so attractive, you'd be a fool to let it go to waste over him having a child.

automaticprincess7: yeah, tomorrow's fine. I guess I was just nervous ( ๑´⌓ `๑ )

tojifushiguro1: it's no biggie, cutie. Since it's your first time meeting with a stranger online, I can imagine you'd be scared. So, let's say 6? And what place works best for you? We can even grab dinner after if you're up for it.

automaticprincess7: there's this one coffee place I like in Harajuku. It's secluded enough for this kinda stuff, and it's close enough to any activities that might be fun: (insert coffee shop name).

tojifushiguro1: overpriced coffee with an angel like you? Heh, sign me up!

automaticprincess7: hey, don't insult them, they have my fav drinks!!

tojifushiguro1: messing with you over text is so fun. Anyway, 6 PM tomorrow at that place? Sounds like a plan. I can't wait to see you in person, gorgeous ;) You & I are gonna have so much fun, doll, just you wait.

automaticprincess7: see you tomorrow, Toji!! (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*)

tojifushiguro1: those lil' emojis you send are so adorable, just like the rest of ya.

You had to put your phone down because of how red your face was. If anyone saw you in this state, they'd probably think that you were deathly feverish and needed to go to the hospital, but if you spent the night with him, you probably would need to.

Your mind was reeling with everything that had just happened. The prospect of meeting a guy for the first time; the prospect of going on a date with an insanely hot guy; the prospect of going home & having sex with said insanely hot guy; and the prospect of it leading to something better. You knew your prayers of this working out would fall on deaf ears and that this guy was probably in it for just the sex, but there was this feeling, this voice in your head telling you to go for it.

Normally, you'd ignore that said voice, but maybe following that voice would bring some color back into your life.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Enter Toji Fushiguro

╰┈➤ "Fuckin' christ is that girl adorable," Toji muttered to himself when he put his phone down. "I could just eat her for breakfast, lunch & dinner."

After hopeless hours of surfing through this website "Chasingangels.com" with all of its annoyingly bright colors and cutesy aesthetics, Toji had finally settled on a girl who he felt was worth the trouble of reaching out to. All these other profiles he'd swiped on were either not his type or were looking for a good time, not a long time, so when he finally found you, he felt like he'd just won big at the horse races he quit going to. Seriously, you were such a stroke of luck that he considered going out to gamble.

But, after his late wife had died, and after he'd made that promise to quit all his vices, he wasn't actually gonna go gamble his savings away.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand: your profile.

Even after he put his phone down to clear his mind, he reached for it & continued looking at your profile, his green eyes scrutinizing every single detail and just taking it all in. You were gorgeous, that much was true, but there was also something so yummy, so saccharinely sweet about the way you looked at the camera with your raspberry lip gloss and your big brown eyes and your long lashes and your everything that compelled him to DM you.

You... you were just a walking wet dream, you were perfect in every single way. Not only were you insanely attractive, but you also had the right criteria in your bio: your frontal lobe had developed (you were 25) & you were looking for something serious.

Bingo.

But, at the same time, Toji knew good and well that a girl like you was hard to come by, so he sent that DM without any hope of getting one in return. Surely a gorgeous gal like you had plenty of offers, right? He also knew that using a website like this was quite unsavory, even for him. This website, chasingangels.com, was supposed to be a "dating website" for transgender women, but he knew good and well that this site housed some... off individuals.

It was all in the name of the website. Chasing angels? Seriously? The developers couldn't have come up with a better website name that wasn't so fetishizing? Part of him wondered what the hell a girl like you was doing on this site--a site that was meant to give men direct access to trans women. Part of him also wondered why he, himself, was on this website to begin with. Was he seriously turning into one of them, one of those "chasers" that were known to use trans women? And would you categorize him as such?

Those little thoughts of self-doubt were quickly wiped away when you replied within two minutes of him sending that message.

Was fortune finally smiling upon him? Were the lonely nights he spent in the company of prostitutes and random flings coming to a close with you?

Were you the angel he's been chasing all this time? And did he finally catch you?

The conversation with you went smoother than expected, if he was being honest. You talked just how you looked: like an angel, with your bashful replies & those cute little emoticons that you used. He made sure to lay on the charm thick, since it was all he knew how to do when he was flirting with a girl he liked, and it paid off because now he had a date with the girl of his dreams tomorrow.

All he had to do now was find a babysitter for little 8 year old Megumi, and he'd be golden.

He promptly exited out of the website and called up his go-to babysitter, Satoru Gojo, to see if he was available for the evening & night. He swore he heard trumpets from heaven when the white-haired man said he'd be available.

He practically got on his knees and looked up at the ceiling. "Whoever you are... thank you."

Next on the agenda would be to prepare for said date tomorrow.

There was no way that this was the same man you talked to online (and no, he didn't catfish you). How could a man be so.... large?!

Flashback to a few hours ago when you were first getting ready for your little date. "I'm going on a date, on a date, on a date~! Oooh, I may be getting some dick tonight~!!" You sang to yourself as you got ready for your date. You were busy putting in your hot rollers, trying to snap them into place so that they wouldn't fall out and potentially burn you.

You didn't sleep a wink during the entire night. The images of that guy, that hunky dilf who you somehow managed to snag before anyone else did. You were honestly pretty surprised that you accomplished such a feat--any girl would be lucky to be underneath that fine specimen! Then again, maybe the people who used the website didn't like big, strong men with a face so rideable that you could probably cum 5 times just by grinding against his nose... either way, you were a lucky, lucky girl!

Once the rollers were in place, you pulled out all the stops to make sure that your makeup was in tip-top shape. A matte, blurring primer (which could be classified as industrial grade); pink cherry blossom setting powder just so that you could look extra pink and girly; a touch of eyelid glitter just to make your eyes sparkle... you even followed an elaborate tutorial on Youtube just so that you could charm him with your eyes.

Everything was coming together perfectly. There were no stray streaks of eyeliner, nor was your makeup crusty or cakey; it was simply perfect.

Taking out your hot rollers, you grabbed a hairbrush and styled it to your liking with a headband, then you spritzed on some perfume and went to pick out the perfect outfit to charm him. Clearly, he had a thing for girly girls, so a pink outfit would do just the trick. Your outfit for the date consisted of a pink puff-sleeve top along with a pleated denim mini-skirt, your signature Tiffany & Co. initial necklace, a charm bracelet, a cute little rhinestone belt and some strappy sandals to complete the look.

You took a good, long look in the mirror and smiled to yourself. It sure was a shame that you being transgender got in the way of a lot of your relationships, and the fact that this was probably just to meet up for sex... but it was still nice to get dolled up.

"What do you think, Cupcake?" you asked your fluffy black cat who had a pink collar around her neck. You scratched your little cat's chin and gave her a few butt pats before standing up again.

You made your way over to the front door of your apartment, put all your belongings in your pink Chanel, and made sure to remember your keys. "Wish me luck," you said to your cat as you left. You locked the door behind you, and set out for the nearest train station.

Which was how you ended up standing outside of the coffee shop that the two of you agreed to meet at. It was an odd time to go to a coffee shop, since most people went in the morning, but not everybody met up with strangers on the internet for sexual favors. You texted Toji that you were here and pushed open the glass doors of the shop.

"He shouldn't be too hard to miss-" you stopped dead in your tracks when you caught sight of the man. To say that he was hot was an understatement, because this man was just delectable.

Oh... my... god." He wasn't, in fact, too hard to miss, since he was A. one of the only patrons there, and B. huge. As in, he took up the entirety of his chair & had to spread his legs around the table so that he wouldn't be uncomfortable. And the best part?

He looked even better in person!!

The simple white sweater that he donned was stretched around his frame, and you could see the outline of his broad shoulders & his traps. The sleeves were rolled up around his forearms, giving you a delicious sight of his thick, veiny forearms, and his big hands that were clutching the menu like it was a little sheet of paper only made you wanna rub your thighs together. His legs were a whole other story: his muscular thighs were stretching his black pants (but not to the extent to where he looked goofy), and all you wanted to do was just sit on his lap!!

Your little rambling was interrupted when he looked up from the menu and right at you. He had a little look of shock on his face for a split second before he cracked a smile, and you felt like butter melting on a hot day from the way he looked at you.

"U-Um, hi," was the first thing you squeaked out to him. Normally, you were a confident girl; but right now, you were reduced to mere prey under the gaze of this man.

"Hey, sweetheart. Please, have a seat." He made the effort to get up and pull your seat out for you, and you offered him a bashful smile.

"Thank you," you all but whispered, letting him push you in. He then took his seat from across the table, and the two of you sat in silence for a few seconds. You could hear the intense, almost unbearable beat of your heart pounding in your ears, and you looked down at the table out of nervousness. Every time you looked up at Toji, your eyes immediately darted back to their original position, and your cheeks got even redder.

"My god, are you pretty," his deliciously raspy voice remarked when he decided to break the silence. "I mean, I bet you get that a lot, but... damn."

You squeaked in response and retreated into yourself further. "I don't get that a lot, but... T-Thank you, F-Fushiguro," you stammered. You were fumbling this date by the second, but it was practically impossible to even talk to this Adonis that was right in front of you.

A few more moments of silence until he decided to speak up again. "Doll, I gotta ask you something: am I really that scary?"

The question made you look at him out of confusion rather than fluster. "Huh? Um... no? Why do you ask?"

He relaxed a little further into his seat and folded his arms over his chest. "Because the entire time we've been on this little date, you've been starin' at the damn table. C'mon, you've gotta give me somethin' to work with here. I wanna get to know you a little bit, pretty!" He said.

You almost felt bad for the guy right about now. Here he was, going on this date that he went out of his way to ask you out on, and you were staring at the table like an idiot.

"I'm sorry," you laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck, "I'm not really experienced at going on dates... this is the first one I've been on in a while." For whatever reason, this guy made you feel more & more comfortable the longer you were around him.

"Well that makes two of us," he chortled. "I haven't been on one in months, myself. That little website was probably my last resort. If I gave up on it, I would've given up on going on dates altogether."

"Oh, right, you're divorced..." you trailed off, feeling bad for the guy.

He shrugged. "'s nothin'. Haven't seen my ex-wife in ages, anyway; my son and I get along just fine."

"Well, that's good to hear," you smiled at him. "Yeah, I see a lot of single fathers and divorcées passing through that site. Most of them are just ex-pats."

"Really, now?" he asked, cocking his eyebrow. "I would've thought that being a single father makes me more unappealing."

You shrugged. "It doesn't make a difference to me, or the rest of the girls on that site at that. Most people just use that website for hookups, anyway."

His other eyebrow raised, and he looked at you with more curiosity. "Really, now? Huh... I never would've guessed. This whole time, I thought that everyone on there was just an asshole; I didn't think that the site was made for hookups."

"It's not advertised for hookups, but people treat it as such. Most dating sites like that just end up getting used for hookups."

"Hm," he said, looking off to the side. "So what the hell were you doing on that site to begin with?"

This made you look at him with more confusion. "Huh?"

He leaned forward, now putting his forearms on the table. "I mean: what the hell was a pretty girl like you doing on a hookup website?"

"I-I don't use it for hookups!" you said defensively, putting your hands up. "I just... look, it was the only available site for women like me, and I was sick of people on regular dating apps blocking me after I told them that I was trans. I sure as shit didn't wanna use Grindr, so that website was also my last resort. Speaking of, what were you doing on that website if you were looking for more than just hookups?"

Toji shrugged again. "I dunno, honestly. I just went on it without a second thought. I tried other websites out, but none of 'em gave me any results."

You furrowed your brow in confusion. "So you went on a website that was specifically for men who liked trans women...?"

He was a bit caught off guard by your observation, and he rubbed the back of his neck. "The way you're saying it makes me sound like some sorta creep... But, you're not entirely wrong. When I first saw an advertisement for that website, I was intrigued, to say the least. I thought that, since I had so much bad luck on the normal sites, why not try somethin' different? I've always been kinda curious about trans women, too. Part of me wondered what it'd be like to date one, and so I was led to that website."

Your expression slightly fell, and you realized what this guy's deal was. "Oh, so you're... you're one of those guys," you said quite bitterly.

Toji picked up on this and freaked out a little bit. "N-No, I'm not like that! I'm not some fetishizing prick who wants a hookup; I'm just a lonely guy who's looking for something, alright? I've been lonely for so long that I'm willing to try anything with any type of girl. It doesn't matter if she's cis or trans; I just want something--anything, any kind of connection." He took a deep breath, feeling like he was digging himself into a hole the more he spoke. "Fuck... I'm making this worse for myself, aren't I?"

You were now feeling sorry for the guy for a whole different reason. "No, Fushiguro, I get it... dating as a single father must be tough for you. And, I can see the appeal of trying out dating with a different type of woman, expanding your horizons. Even though you might be using a site that hosts a lot of creeps, you're using it with good intentions." Your frown relaxed into a smile, and he felt his heart skip a beat when you smiled at him. "So I guess I won't be getting my hopes down."

Toji gave you another look of shock, and he felt his cheeks heat up just a little--that smile of yours was just so beautiful. His look of shock changed into a smile, and he intertwined one of his fingers with yours. "Well, ain't I a lucky bastard," he chuckled, already easing back into the date. "So, gorgeous, why don't we start over?"

You nodded and smiled brighter at him. "I think we should."

"Good," he hummed, reaching out to shake your hand. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Toji Fushiguro. Mind telling me about yourself, beautiful?"

You giggled at all the pet names and the compliments he was throwing your way. "My name's (Y/N), (L/N), and I don't mind at all."

Maybe... maybe this wouldn't just be a sex thing.

"I've gotta say, doll: meeting up with you has got to be one of the best decisions I've ever made," Toji said as the two of you walked out of the coffee shop together. Naturally, a guy as big as him dwarfed you, and so he had to crane his head just a lil' to look down at you. It's not like you were one of those "I'm so small and fragile!" girls--but next to him, you might as well have been.

'He's so handsome... I'm surprised I could even have a full on conversation with him. Props to myself for not screwing it up!'

He reached out to sling his big arm around your shoulders, and he pulled you into his embrace slightly. "You don't mind if I do this, right?" he purred suavely into your ear. "Sorry if I'm being a lil' too touchy, doll--I'm just not sure what girls like you are into. A lot of people don't like to be touched by people they don't know all that well."

If you were being honest, you were probably one of those people who didn't like physical contact; but with him, you were too into it to say no. "Well, I don't usually touch people like this, but I feel comfortable around you, so do as you please."

"Do as I please?" he repeated, leaning down to tickle your ear with his breath. "I'll make sure to keep that in mind for later."

Your first instinct was to worm your way out of his grasp and away from his seductive tongue, but his grip was so strong that you couldn't even budge. "T-Toji..." this was the first time you used his given name.

He felt his heart skip a beat when you used his name, but he masked it well. "What, doll? Ah, you're so cute when you're nervous... You can't exactly blame a guy for trying, right?" He let his grip loosen just a tad in case you were uncomfortable. "Anyway, where do you think we should head off to next?"

"Hm?" you asked, looking up at him. "You wanna go somewhere now? I thought that we were just going for coffee?"

"You've gotta be kiddin' me, doll... what, you thought that it was just a coffee thing? I ain't letting go of you that quickly," he snorted. "Besides, I've got someone watchin' over my kid for the rest of today & tonight, so my schedule's completely free."

"O-Oh, well I guess that's nice to hear!" you replied, trying to muster up the most confident smile you could. "Well, we are in Harajuku, so there's plenty to do around here."

Toji thought about it for a second. "Hm... to be honest, I'm thinking that we should just head back to my place--if you're up for it, at least. We could also head back to yours, or go to a love hotel. Preferably one that isn't shitty or full of diseases."

You immediately tensed up again when he brought up the idea of taking your date to somewhere more intimate or private. "Y-You don't wanna, like, go to the park or anything?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I don't; too many little shits and dogs running around to stay focused on my pretty date."

And there it was: that skip of the heartbeat when he buttered you up with his nicknames.

"We could also pick up some food on the way there. Y'know, make it more romantic? A full-on date, full of snacks and drinks before we get to the good part?"

You mulled over the different ideas that he proposed. You might've been completely into the guy; however, you weren't stupid. If you went back to his place, then you could be kidnapped or killed. There was also the possibility of his apartment being shitty (you've had your fair share of guys with garbage lining their rooms & mattresses on the floor). If you went back to your place, then there was also the possibility of him being a creep, and if he were a creep, then you wouldn't want him to know where you lived. A love hotel was probably the safest bet for a hookup, but there was also the possibility of the love hotel being shitty.

Did you even want to hookup with the guy? Well, he was very hot, and the chemistry between the two of you was off the charts, but this was a guy who wanted to get to know you better, and that rarely happened! Most guys were only ever into hookups, and hookup culture was draining. On one hand, you were a hopeless romantic; on the other hand, you were horny and in desperate need of some good pipe. What to do, what to do...

"What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours?" Toji asked you, breaking you out of the prison that was your thoughts. "It's all up to you, doll. I mean, it's not like we're never gonna see each other again, right?"

"I guess you have a point," you remarked with a bashful smile.

"But why not have a little bit of fun while we're at it?" For whatever reason, his lips were right up against your ear again.

"Gah!" you yelped. He couldn't help but chuckle in response.

"C'mon, baby, don't you wanna have some fun tonight? I'm told I'm very good in bed--I know plenty of tricks that'll make your head spin. But what we do tonight is all up to you," he reminded you, letting go of you for a sec. "If you're not comfortable with it, then I'm not gonna force you. I ain't that type of guy."

His reassurance that it was all up to you was enough to make you make up your mind. It didn't seem like his words were laced with malice or manipulation; you genuinely felt like he was telling you the truth. He was an older guy, yes, and older guys could be creepy...

... but he wasn't that type of older guy. He wasn't one to play games or sleep around, nor was he the type to coerce naive young girls into his bed. If he did, he wouldn't have gone after someone whose frontal lobe was fully developed. He liked his girls girly, yes, but he also liked them with a brain and common sense.

And so, with a determined smile, you said: "No, Toji, I want to... I wanna spend the night with you. Preferably in a love hotel."

His face turned in your direction, and the smirk on his face turned into a toothy grin... which was more creepy than handsome, if you were being honest.

"That's more like it, sweetheart," he said, pulling you into the crook of his arm. "I'll make it 100% worth your while, don't even worry about it. Just leave it to Toji."

Was this a mistake? Or was this a good idea? Only time could tell. The sound of your pink Chanel heels clicking on the pavement & each step the two of you took towards the love hotel he already had picked out was a sign of what was to come.

"Thank you very much, sir! Please enjoy your stay. Don't hesitate to let us know if you need anything!" the welcoming receptionist of the love hotel said while handing Toji the keycard.

"Will do," Toji nodded, taking the card happily. He may not have been showing it, but he was more than eager to get on with this night. His fingers were fidgeting slightly, and the only thing that could quell his nerves would be a taste of you. He couldn't resist the urge to throw his arm around your waist and pull you in. 'She's so soft and squishy, I can't help but wonder how she'll feel underneath me. But, why's she so nervous? Aren't I a charming fellow?' Toji thought as he led the two of you to the elevator. "What's got you so nervous, sweetheart? I can feel all that tension that's built up inside of ya." You squeaked a little when he tightened his arm around your waist. "God, you're adorable... you're like a little marshmallow I can't wait to sink my teeth into."

"W-Well it's kinda hard to be calm when you're saying all that stuff," you said, the nervousness in your voice evident.

He listened to what you were saying and let out a sigh. "I get it, I get it. I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous, too. Well, more antsy than anything. You're just so fuckin' pretty that I just can't sit still! God, could this elevator be any slower?" he asked, tapping his foot on the linoleum floor.

"Just hold your horses, T-Toji," you said, trying to quell the nerves of the guy you were about to have sex with. "I wanna psyche myself up, okay?"

He offered you a remorseful smile and loosened his grip on your waist. "Alright, alright, I'll cool it down just for your sake, pretty. We've got all night long, anyway."

The rest of the elevator ride was quite silent with the ding of the elevator being the only sound made. Once you made it onto your guys' floor, the other sounds filling up the hallway were the sounds of couples having sex. Though you were no stranger to sex, you still had some sense of decency, so the sounds being made were quite embarrassing to listen to.

Toji took note of your discomfort, and he couldn't resist the urge to tease you just a little bit. "Soon, we'll be joining them with our own sounds," he croaked into your ear, making you jolt.

"D-Don't tease me like that! At least not until we're in the room itself..."

"It's just a little bit of teasing, doll--y'know I don't mean it like that."

Once you made it in front of your door, Toji grabbed the keycard and slid it into the lock, then promptly opened the door. "After you, m'lady," Toji said courteously.

"Thank you," you hummed with Toji following after you. The love hotel was Parisian-themed, and it was evident from the Eiffel tower decoration behind the bed as well as the faux-balcony that led to the outside. The bathroom had a large jacuzzi with gilded faucets, and if this wasn't a love hotel then you would've thought that you were in Versailles. "Well, this is something," you remarked as you set your bag down.

"Only the best for my gorgeous girl," Toji hummed, walking towards you. His first instinct was to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in for a kiss, but you put your hands and stopped him. "What's wrong? Did I do somethin' wrong?"

He truly was a gentleman.

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong, Toji," you reassured him. "Remember when I said I was nervous?"

He sighed, letting his hands fall to his side. "Doll, c'mon--you've gotta give me space to work with. How am I supposed to make you feel good if you don't let me?"

You tried to calm yourself down, but it didn't do anything. "'m sorry, Toji... I'm the worst possible girl to take out."

"You're not the 'worst possible'; you're just a little nervous, and that's understandable. But the way you keep refusing my advances and offers to help you calm down is starting to get on my nerves a little." He thought about what he could do to help you unwind, and he finally came up with an idea. "I know: why don't we start off with a little bit of foreplay? Y'know, some making out followed by taking these pesky clothes off? I really, really wanna make this work between us, baby... but you've gotta trust me. It won't feel good if there's no mutual trust."

You thought over everything you said, and it all sounded good--quite appealing, at that. While you were nervous of getting down to it, you still wanted it. You wanted Toji to make you feel good because you trusted & were attracted to him.

"Yeah, that sounds good," you finally said at last. Toji released the breath he was holding and smiled at you.

"Thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," he murmured into your ear. He pulled you close and gave you a light kiss on the cheek, putting his hands on your waist to steady you. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, baby, you're not even gonna remember why you were nervous to begin with."

"I trust you-" he cut you off by moving his lips to yours, and he captured them in a featherlight kiss. "Toji..." you whispered into the kiss.

"Yeah, that's it--say my name," he murmured, pressing an even deeper kiss to your lips. "God, you taste so fuckin' sweet, baby," he whispered, "lemme kiss you some more, 'kay?"

He sat down on the bed and pulled you in by the waist, his big hands keeping a firm grip on your body so that you wouldn't go anywhere. Even his hands dwarfed your body, that was how big he was!

The more he kissed you, the more you relaxed and let him do what he thought felt right. Before you knew it, the two of you were engaged in a heated make-out session, the sounds of your sighs & lips smacking providing a soundtrack to the night. While it may have just been foreplay, you were already melting into it. "More... I want more, Toji~" you whined into his mouth.

"You want more already, pretty thing?" he rasped, his hands exploring your body like an untouched treasure, "use your words, baby. Tell Toji what you want--clearly."

"I want you... to keep kissin' me... touch me some more..." you grabbed his hand and guided it up your shirt, and you squeezed your breast with his hand. "I want you to touch me right there- oh~!"

He didn't need any direction, already squeezing your tit through your bra. "You like it when I squeeze your tits, baby? How about I squeeze this other one, hm? Wouldn't want it to get lonely, now, would you?" His little questions, sweet-talking and his big hands were turning your knees into wobbly jelly.

"Yeah~ yeah~ gimme more, Toji, fuck--I want all of that!" you exclaimed into his lips.

"Just as I thought: underneath that nervous little exterior of 'yers, you're a little slut, ain't ya?" he gave you a smirk and bit down on your bottom lip, making you yelp into the kiss. "Fuck, just listen to all of those sweet noises, baby--my dick's so fuckin' hard for ya. Can't you feel it, baby?" he even grabbed your hand and made you palm his erection, and he let out a deep sigh once you did so. "Those little hands of yours... fuck, I can't wait to feel 'em wrapped around my cock."

Your hands used to be a source of discontent for you, given how... manly they looked, but compared to Toji's hands? Well, they were dwarfed entirely.

"J-Just how big are you?" you asked out of nervousness once you felt the full weight and size of his erection.

"Wait and see, baby girl," he purred, offering you a cocky smirk. He knew he was well-endowed, and he knew that he was good at using those inches. "Or would you rather skip all the foreplay and get to the good stuff?"

You shook your head, still palming his erection. "No, I still wanna ease into it," you said.

"Have it your way, then. This night's all about you, sweet stuff." He resumed his kissing, this time latching his lips onto your jawline & trailing his lips down to your chest. You had an affinity for low-cut tops, so it gave him the perfect amount of space to pepper kisses on. "Mmmm... yeah, you are definitely some sweet stuff," he murmured, pressing kisses to your chest.

"Mn~" you moaned softly, biting your lips as if you were embarrassed of the way this man made you feel.

"Oh? You like it when I kiss you there?" he asked, peppering more kisses to your cleavage.

"Yeah, I do, Toji~" you murmured, letting out a bigger moan.

"What about... here?" he pressed one right in between the valley of your tits, and it was enough to elicit a nice, loud moan. "Fuck... you're really enjoying this, huh," he drawled in between chest kisses.

"I am, Toji, I am," you managed to breathe out. The more you moaned, the tighter his grip became on your waist.

"Yeah, you really are, princess. But, isn't that what we came here to do?" You nodded, and he chuckled. "Fuck, yeah, it is. Gonna make you feel so good... you're gonna forget 'yer own name."

Chest kisses weren't enough for the guy; he wanted--needed more of you. He needed to see you in the heat of the moment, to see how you reacted to getting the wind taken from your lungs, to see the way your ass would bounce against his powerful pelvis.

"Why don't we take this thing off, hm?" he was already in the middle of sliding your top off when he asked you that, so all you could do was let him. Once he did, his eyes lit up at the sight of your chest in that pretty pink bra. "Such pretty tits, held up by this pretty bra of yours," he rasped, hooking his finger underneath the pink fabric. "You wore this nice of lingerie just for me? Just for ol' Toji?"

You nodded vigorously, no longer shy or bashful. "Yeah, I wore it for you, Toji," you affirmed. "Wore it so you could tear it off of me."

His eyebrows shot up when you started voicing your fantasies, and he shook his head. "Yeah, you really are turning into a big ol' slut. None of that cute, shy shit anymore, huh?"

"I can't help it; your fingers just make me feel too good!"

"Oh, my fingers are making you feel good?" he repeated, a hint of mocking in his voice. "Well, in that case..." his big hands yanked the shorts underneath your mini skirt and his two fingers started caressing your hole. "Does that feel good, doll?"

You gasped and arched into his body, your perfect tits pressed against his clothed chest. "Fuck... feels so good~!"

"Oh, really? But I ain't even stick anything into ya? Are you really that touch-starved?" he asked mockingly, his green eyes leering at your blushing, moaning expression. One of his hands spanked your plump cheek, making you yelp. "Answer the question, doll."

"Y-Yes, fuck--I'm so fucking touch starved," you said through a moan, yelping when he spanked you again.

"Damn right, you are. Can't wait to see how tight you are--I can already imagine the way you're gonna suffocate my cock." The hand that was caressing your hole pushed past your panties and he stuck those two fingers into your hole, fingering you through your panties.

These ministrations of his fingers were making you lose your mind, and you let out the loudest moan yet. "F-Fuck! Oh, fuck- fuck, such thick fingers!!" You gasped, your voice reaching a new pitch you didn't think was possible.

"Yeah? You like my thick fingers inside o' that hole of 'yers? If I didn't know any better, I woulda assumed that you were a virgin, but how could I when you're such. A. Fucking. Slut?" he punctuated his question with spanks, his two fingers still fingering you. "C'mon, doll, lemme hear s'more of those moans. You know you wanna moan for Toji," he coaxed you, now stretching your cheek open with the hand that was spanking you.

And so, you moaned. You moaned as loud as you wanted to & possibly could, no longer worrying about how embarrassingly loud they'd be. Toji wasn't judging your moans; he savored them, worshiped them like they were holy scripture. "Fuck~! Fuck~! Oh, fuck, T-Toji--your fingers, they're so fucking good, keep curling them, please!! I'm gonna c-cum on your fingers if you k-k-keep this up!!" You were a babbling, incoherent mess while he worked his fingers into your tight hole. He pushed another finger in, essentially slutting you out on his hand alone. He licked his fingers again and started pumping them in & out harder, the feral grin on his face widening in size.

"Yeah, yeaah, that's what I'm fuckin' talking about, baby!" He exclaimed, fucking you vigorously on his fingers. "You're gonna cum, aren't ya? You're gonna cum from my fingers alone? You little whore, I can't wait to turn your brain to mush with my cock, just you wait!" If you weren't such a touch-starved whore for this man, the look in his eyes would've sent you running...

.... but you were a touch-starved whore. You were sucking his fingers in like you needed them to survive, like you'd die if you didn't get fingered by the older man. When his fingers hit that spongy spot inside of your tender hole, your eyes shot open and you felt an ache building up in your tummy. "Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck~!!" you squealed, "Fuck, Toji, k-keep fingerin' me right there, you're touching all of my sweet spots!!" You were no better or quieter than any of those other people in the next door rooms.

He realized that he'd hit your soft spot, and the grin on his face only intensified. "Oh, you want it there?" he dug his fingers in as deep as he possibly could, hitting your prostate yet again.

"Yes, fuck yes, Toji!!" You screamed at the top of your lungs.

"Oh, you little fucking slut, you're getting your brains fucked out just by my fingers, eh? I don't even need a cock to make you lose your mind, because you've already lost it!!" He continued savagely finger-fucking you, pushing you that much closer to the edge.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" you babbled, your eyes half-lidded as he jackhammered his hand into your hole, "I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum- haven't came in so-"

Just like that, you felt the cord snap in your belly, and you let the dam break. You didn't know what you said to him, only that you felt a gush of cum go through your penis & stain your panties. Your milky fluid soaked your panties entirely, some of it even landing on his pants and staining the black fabric. You let out a "Tojiii~!!" when you came, and you slumped over into the crook of his neck. He caught you before you could fall, and he couldn't help the laugh that escaped his lips.

"Now, that's what I'm fucking talking about, doll," he said into your ear, patting your back and planting a kiss on your neck. Once you sat up and looked at him again, he captured your plump lips into a soft yet firm kiss, craning your head just right so he could kiss you perfectly.

"Toji... fuck, I didn't think I could cum that hard on a couple of fingers alone," you giggled, your mind still reeling from the intense pleasure.

"That's because you've been messing around with little boys who don't know what they're doing, doll. Can't even please a woman regardless if they've got a pussy or a dick," he chuckled, letting you catch your breath. "But I hope you know that that was just the appetizer, baby; there's plenty more where that came from."

"W-What?" before you knew it, you'd been flipped onto your back with Toji hovering over you.

"Hey there, pretty," he hummed, giving you a smile.

"Hey, Toji," you replied, the intensity of his gaze making you blush again.

"Blushin' already?" he moved one of his hands to your cheek and rubbed it as if you were a kitten. "Sweet girl," he cooed. Once he was done rubbing your cheek, he reached around your back and unclasped your bra. "Don't mind if I do," he gruffed, taking your bra off and letting the treasures that were your tits free. When the bra wasn't holding them up anymore, he could finally appreciate and marvel at them. "Fuck, doll... those are some sweet tits you've got there," he said, licking his lips and practically salivating at the sight. "May I?"

"May you what?" you asked, already embarrassed at how he was ogling you.

"May I suck your breasts, baby? They're such works of art that I wanna make sure I'm not tainting 'em," he murmured, already drooling over them.

"Toji, they're just my breasts," you giggled. "Nothing to be proud of..."

"Nothing to be proud of?! Baby, you've got the most amazing tits I've ever seen--and I've seen plenty. They're so perfectly round, so perky, 'n those nipples are just the perfect size to suck on."

You couldn't help but blush and giggle as he went on & on about your chest and how much he loved it. "If it gets you to stop... gushing about them, then you can suck-"

You didn't have to tell the man twice. He already had one of your nipples in his mouth and was holding the other in his hand, and you couldn't stop the beautiful moan that left your raspberry lips. "Fuck, Toji, you really know how to make a girl f-feel good," you whimpered, the intensity of his tit-sucking making your nipples extra sensitive.

"It's in my DNA," he said against your nipple. "I'm good at making pretty girls feel good." He shot you a cocky smirk before sucking on the other, practically losing his mind at the taste. If your nipples tasted this good, he wondered what it'd be like to eat your ass, maybe even suck your cock... if you let him, of course.

Once he'd had enough of your tits in his mouth, he retracted his lips & kissed yours. "Now those are some sweet tits," he chuckled, finally giving you some room to breathe.

"Toji... now they're all puffy and swollen," you pouted at the extra-sensitivity that came as a result of his voracious tit worship.

He shrugged at your little gripe. "Can you blame a guy?" he even flicked your nipple and watched you squirm in discomfort, shooting you a shit-eating grin. "Making you lose your mind's part of the deal, doll, and I can't do that if you're not a moaning mess. Now, spread those legs for me, baby girl, because I'm gonna show you how it feels to get devoured by a guy who knows what he's doin'."

"What are you..." you trailed off when he pulled your skirt down entirely and exposed your drenched panties. He could make out the outline of your soft penis, and he hooked his fingers under the fabric of your panties & slid them down your smooth thighs. Once he was finally able to see all of you, the little smile that was on his face grew into a wide grin.

"Fuck, doll... you're just..." he sat up to get a good look at your naked form, and you shyly covered your crotch in embarrassment. "Nah, don't hide this gorgeous sight from me, doll, lemme see you." He pried your hands off with one of his and once he was able to see you fully, he took in your naked form with his eyes. "You're a work of fucking art, baby."

"You're just sayin' shit, Toji," you mumbled, a little embarrassed by his praising.

"I'm saying shit from the heart, doll," he corrected you, making you crack a little smile. "I just... wow, you're just amazing." He shook his head in disbelief at how such a perfect specimen could be wandering earth without his knowledge. "I definitely found an angel," he jested, making you crack another smile.

"Can you just get on with what you're doing?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Slowly but surely, he planted kisses on your belly & made his way down to where the goodies were. "Spread those legs f'me, doll. I need to see every inch of you."

You parted your legs gingerly, letting him see what he wanted to see. He lowered his head to where your hole was & grabbed your legs, spreading them further for his liking. He then pushed them back up gently, giving him a full view of your puckered anus. "Look at that shit... so delicious, so perfect, so sweet-lookin'," he muttered, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh. "You're just perfect in every single way... fucking fuck," he chuckled, shaking his head once again.

You stayed silent, far too vulnerable or nervous to give him one of your usually sassy quips. "Cat got 'yer tongue, doll?"

"You've got my tongue," you muttered, making him chuckle again.

"I'm gonna feast on this perfect hole of 'yers, baby, and then I'm gonna impale you on this dick & make you see stars," he promised, sitting up again. "Lemme just... take this damn sweater off," he grumbled, sliding the white cotton over his head.

It was your turn to marvel at him now. You knew that he was a big guy with some big muscles, but now that you were seeing the real deal for yourself, you couldn't help the squeak of nervousness that left your lips. He truly was an adonis in every sense of the word: his meaty pecs that were thicker than some peoples' boobs, a shredded 8-pack that could quite literally grind cheese on it, that thin, tapered waist that expanded to a set of broad shoulders, not to mention the biceps that could crush your head. "Oh, wow," you said involuntarily, the intrusive thoughts escaping your mind.

"Like what you see, doll?" he asked cockily, flexing one of his huge biceps for you.

"Yeah... I do like, me likey," you said, still entranced by his frame.

"I told you I wasn't one of those little boys you've been hanging around, doll--I know what I'm doin'." He put his bicep down and then dipped his head back to your puckered hole, and you couldn't help but tense up a little. You tried to close your thighs out of embarrassment, but he easily pried them open with his two big hands. "Enough hidin' baby, enough of that coy shit. I already made you cum on my fingers, right? Now, I'm gonna make you cum on my tongue."

Before you could say anything, he latched his mouth to your hole, the sensation immediately making you squeak. "Fuck~!" You gasped, the wet muscle licking a stripe up your anus.

"It's time to enjoy my meal," he gruffed before diving in fully, his face disappearing into your anal cavity.

Toji wasn't lying--he really wasn't, because when he said he'd make you lose your mind, you were doing just that. "Fuck... oh, fuck, T-Toji~" you sighed, relaxing into his ministrations. You've had your ass eaten before, but the skill and tenacity with which he ate you out was 10 times more pleasurable than those other times.

The more he licked and flicked, the more moans you moaned. You were writhing about, your hands gripping both the sheets and his hair in delicious agony. It was like you were a virgin, touched for the very first time by this experienced, older man. "Fuck~!" You squealed, not knowing what else to do but enjoy it. Every time your gaze would wander back to Toji, the sight of his biceps curled and his broad shoulders supporting your legs made your stomach flutter. He was just so incredibly attractive in every way, and his oral skills were just that: incredibly attractive.

"I'm gonna- I'm gonna c-cum soon, fuck--I've never been pushed to the edge so quickly!" You admitted between breathy moans, still grinding your ass against his face.

"Yeah? You're gonna cum already?" he asked in between licks and slurps, "hah, you're already such a whore for ol' Toji, and he hasn't even fucked you with his cock." He gave your thigh a firm slap before diving back in again. You could see the enjoyment in his verdant eyes, and it only made you lose your mind that much quicker.

Soon enough, the words and quips escaping your mouth lessened in favor of the moans & whimpers that took their rightful places. He was loving every second of this--both your heavenly moans and taste on his tongue were just perfect. He could feel himself losing it, his tongue devouring you like a feral animal that needed taming.

"Fuck... so fucking delicious, baby... you've been keeping this taste from me for how long?" he asked in between sucks. "I'm never lettin' go of ya now, not when you taste so perfect."

You were mindlessly moaning and nodding your head to everything he said, no longer able to resist the sweet temptation of losing yourself in his mouth. "Yeah~ yeah, Toji, f-fuck yeah~!" the man could've asked to marry you right then and there and you wouldn't have registered it, that was how insane he drove you.

If he could use his tongue on you so expertly, how would you fare taking his cock?

He chuckled into your sweet, plush ass, now stroking your cock gently. "Jus' keep those pretty moans comin', baby, and I'll give you everything you want."

By then, you didn't know how long it had been since he'd started eating your ass. It could've been 10 minutes, an hour or ten hours--numbers were no longer a thing in your mind. You knew he had an experience with pleasuring women, but you didn't know he'd be such an eater! It was like the more he ate, the more he craved. His appetite simply couldn't be quenched. Toji, himself, also took note of how he was losing himself in you, but he just couldn't stop. You were too sweet for your own good, and someone would have to enjoy it. He noticed how your thighs were trembling like an earthquake from the intensity of it all, and he gave you an apologetic stare & retracted his lips temporarily (still fingering you).

"'m sorry, doll, but you're just too sweet... I've gotta have more of this," he panted before diving in again.

All you could give in response was a pathetic whine and a moan.

"Losin' your mind so quickly?" he jested in between swipes of your hole. "Like a cute lil' virgin," he hummed before diving in again, burying his face in your engorged hole. "Fuck.. need more... gotta have some more of you... you don't mind, do you?" Before you could even make a sound, he grabbed your hips and held them up with his strong hands, dipping his tongue even deeper if that was even humanly possible.

You let out a loud, high-pitched moan when he did this. How could it be that his tongue was already reaching your sweet spot?! "F-F-Fuck, Toji, please!!" You gasped, writhing about when he mounted your hips in the air.

"Please what, doll?" he taunted you in between sucks.

"P-Please, just make me cum already--I c-can't take this pleasure anymore!!"

"The little princess wants to cum, eh?" he chuckled lowly, making your cheeks heat up out of embarrassment. "Alright, alright... I guess I'll stop torturin' ya." He shifted the weight of your body to one of his hands & his strong arm, and he moved the other hand to start stroking your cock.

When his hand made contact around your cock, that was when all hell broke loose inside of your body. "Tojiii~!!" You squealed, bucking your hips while being held in mid-air, "Toji, Toji, Toji, T-Toji- I can't- I'm fucking c-cum-"

It was laughably cute how you desperately, needly jerked your hips into his hand, practically doing all the work for him. Your cum shot out in spurts, the milky-white substance landing on your tits, the perfect decoration for a pretty girl like you.

"That's it, there you go--thereee you go, pretty," he encouraged you, removing his mouth from your abused anus. "Cumming so much for me... fuck, you're just precious, baby. So fuckin' precious." He cooed and coaxed you with his words, guiding you through your second orgasm & its aftershocks.

When you finally came to and opened your eyes to look at him, his face was a few inches from yours, and he was carefully watching your reactions. "There you are, doll," he crooned, cupping your cheek gently. "Now, how was that for being eaten?" he asked with a cocky chuckle. One of his hands moved closer to your lips, and he stuck his thumb inside just to see what would happen. "Look at you," he rasped. "Even when you're reelin' from an orgasm, you're still so eager to please." He stuck his thumb further into your mouth just for the fun of it before retracting.

"Never been eaten like that before," you admitted with flushed cheeks.

"That's because you've never been with a real man before," he chuckled, patting your cheek before sitting up again. "Speaking of real men, I believe you've got a little present waitin' for ya." His hands moved to the hem of his pants, and he undid the buckle of his belt. "You're in for a real doozy if you came that hard on my fingers," he warned you, watching as your brows furrowed in confusion and fear.

"What're you..." you quickly realized just what he meant when he unbuckled his pants and shimmied out of them. The tent in his boxers was...

Massive.

You wondered what kind of monster he was hiding in there. Sure, you weren't a virgin--but you might as well have been one to Toji. He grabbed the waistband of his boxers and looked at you intently, watching your every reaction: "you ready, doll?"

Before you could answer that, he pulled his boxers down and let the Goliath of his cock spring free. And what you saw only confirmed your suspicions.

"Oh my god," was all you said.

His cock was massive, just like the rest of him. It was a good 9-inches, girthy, and was leaking precum like crazy onto the sheets. "Sorry 'bout that," he said in mock apology when his precum made a mess on the sheets. His cock had an angry red tip and one big vein up the side, and the sheer thickness of it was a doozy.

"How the fuck is that supposed to fit inside of me?" you asked out of panic. You were eager to have sex with the man, sure, but you weren't eager to be sent to the hospital.

"With plenty of lube and preparation, of course." He reached over to the nightstand and saw what kind of stuff they had in there. Luckily for your poor little hole, they had different bottles of lubricant as well as condoms for all shapes & sizes (including Magnum XXL). He took out the biggest size option and ripped open the plastic. He rolled it onto his cock before looking at you, and the fear in your eyes made him soften up for a moment. "What's the matter, doll? Are you scared of me or somethin'?"

"I'm not scared of you; I'm scared of your cock," you clarified, still eyeing the huge meat that he was packing.

He let out a chuckle before slicking some lube onto his cock. "Doll, don't worry; I've done this plenty of times before. My ex-wife was actually a virgin when we first got together, and we had a son together."

"I guess you're right..."

He set the jokes aside and cupped your chin again. "What I'm saying is that you don't gotta worry about anything, doll. I'm good at making women feel good, and that includes women like you. We'll ease into it as slowly as you want and you can take as much time as you need. All I want is for the two of us to enjoy ourselves." He leaned in to press a kiss to your lips, quelling any further worries. "I really, really like you, (Y/N). I'd never do anything to hurt you. You trust me, right?"

You nodded shakily once you parted lips.

"Good, because that's all I want," he added with a comforting smile. "I want this to lead somewhere, y'know? And what good would it do me to hurt you?" He trailed kisses down your neck and gave your breast a reaffirming squeeze. "Just you wait, baby. Once the initial stretch is out of the way, you're gonna feel so fuckin' amazing."

You smiled softly at Toji, still nervous but confident that you were gonna have a great time with him. "I trust you, Toji. I trust your abilities."

"That's a good girl," he rumbled in response. He coated his fingers in lubricant and stuck them inside of you, the cold feeling making you yelp and squirm. "Sorry 'bout that, doll, I just wanted to make sure you were all slippery and ready f'me." After wiping the excess on his thigh, he grabbed ahold of his lubed up cock & started moving it towards your entrance. "Spread those legs, baby... yeah, that's it. You follow orders so well," he praised, grabbing your thigh and pinning it back with his hand. "Okay, here it goes... just hold onto me, pretty girl, hold onto my back."

You were nervous, oh-so nervous about what was to come. You knew it was gonna hurt, you knew it'd be uncomfortable at first, but yet you were still determined to take it because you knew you could. After all, surely it wouldn't hurt that bad, right?

Wrong.

When you felt the head of his cock pierce your hole, your eyes immediately shot open and you felt a pain in your butt. "Ah~!" your initial moan of pain was quite high-pitched, and he winced at the thought of the initial stretch. Slowly but surely, Toji slid more & more of his cock into your ass, gritting his teeth the entire time. You, meanwhile, were whimpering in pain, whining from how bad it hurt. "Toji, Toji, p-please--I can't take it-"

"C'mon, baby, you've got this. Just breathe 'n hold onto me, okay? You're doing so well, sooo fuckin' well," he crooned into your ear, kissing away the tears of pain that flowed down your cheeks.

"Please, Toji, it hurts!"

"I know it hurts, I know--but you're almost there, see? We're past the halfway point already. C'mon, you're a big girl, you can handle it. Just... just lemme slide... oh, fuck-" the feeling of your tight ass around his cock was just heavenly. It was unlike anything he's ever felt before. Any mouth that sucked him, any pussy that took him couldn't even compare to this overflow of sensation that he was feeling. It was like angels were caressing him, like the softest pillow in existence. "Oh, fucking fuck," he panted, desperately resisting the urge to just shove it all in there and take your pleasure for himself. "Just... just a little bit more... hah- are you tryin' to choke me or somethin'?"

"No, I swear! It's just, it hurts so good, god you're so fucking big, Toji!!" And there it was: that spongy spot that drove the two of you wild. Once the tip of his cock pierced it, all those whines and pained cries were replaced by sheer, unabashed pleasure. The combination of the fading pain & the incoming waves of pleasure and heaven were enough to make you scream out his name: "Tojiii, fuuuck!!"

"Jesus christ... oh my god," he rasped, throwing his head back at the delicious constriction. "You feel so, so, so amazing." He moved his head back to look at you, and his eyes widened by how deliciously erotic the scene was. You, underneath him, your face the unbridled image of pleasure, and that yummy belly bulge that showed where his cock was hitting you. "Fuck, I'm hitting you that deep? Hahh, if there was any chance of me letting you go, that chance was just wiped away! Just lemme... fuck," he gasped when he retracted his cock slowly but surely, dragging every inch against your anal walls.

When he plunged his cock back inside of you, you could see stars painted on the ceiling above you. "I... can't... it feels too good... m-making me lose my mind-" you said in between gasps.

"Too good? Too good?" he was slowly starting to pick up steam, rocking his hips back and forth. "Just wait 'til you get adjusted to me, because I'm gonna make you see the whole fucking galaxy."

As Toji gradually began to pick up speed, your nails dug into his muscular back, raking it down, making his back all but red. "Fuck~ fuck~ fuck~ fuck~" you whimpered in between thrusts, your eyes going half-lidded and your jaw going slack.

"Yeahhhh, there you go, doll," he panted, "just keep tellin' me how amazing you're feeling, and I'll make you feel even better."

The more he thrusted into you, the dirtier your moans became. You were now reduced to nothing but a moany, whiny puddle with your hands going to his back and holding on for dear life. Toji was also in a similar state to you, thrusting into you like a madman who needed you to survive.

"Fuck... shit, doll, you're so fuckin' warm n' heavenly--are you trying to make me addicted to you? Because it's workin, baby girl," he rasped, dipping his head to where yours laid and whispering dirty nothings into your ear.

After you let out a few whiny, incoherent moans, you were able to babble: "W-Want you, Toji--want you to keep fucking me like this!"

"Yeah? You want me to fuck you like this? Or, maybe," he grabbed your legs, threw them over his shoulders & folded you like a pretzel, "like this?" This change in position allowed the tip of his meaty cock to pierce your spongy spot, making you moan like an idiot with each ministration. Each stroke was designed to ruin you, each word was spoken to make your knees like jelly, and each look he casted you was filled with his love.

"C'mon, baby, look at me, talk to me," he crooned, trying to get your attention again. He gently grabbed your cheeks and turned your head to face him, his jade eyes seeking the affirmations within yours. "Look at me... I wanna see those pretty eyes of 'yers."

When you refused to look at him out of sheer embarrassment from the moans & whimpers you let out, he grabbed your chin with his hand and forced you to look at him. "Look at me, angel, look at me while I fuck you like this."

"I'm l-looking- I'm looking!!"

"Good... god, angel do you know how fucking gorgeous you look right now? All vulnerable and splayed out for ol' Toji here? God, it's been ages since I've had pussy like this--I didn't even know it could feel so fucking good!" he exclaimed, a light snarl making its way out of his mouth.

"Never had dick like yours, d-daddy!" you squealed, somehow still able to talk, even after the man just started making your insides mush.

'Daddy?' he asked himself. Did you really just call him daddy?

"W-What was that?" he asked, his eyes blown wide from the term.

"I said... fuck~ I've never had dick like yours, daddy!!" you said with more vigor. "Never had such a long, g-girthy dick like yours--it's so fucking incredible, I'm drooling n' making such a big fucking mess on this bed!!"

He felt something snap inside of him when you called him daddy for the second time. It was like the tightrope that he was walking on snapped finally, and all the pent-up frustration and lust inside of him was going haywire.

"Daddy? Daddy?" he repeated, this time in a mocking tone of voice. "Oh, ohhh, so I'm your daddy now, huh?" the sudden change of demeanor made your belly churn in equal parts fear & excitement. You could see the beast inside of him slowly coming out, his green eyes becoming a jaded, darker color. "Answer me, you slut: am I your daddy? Yes or no!" he slapped the inside of your thigh harshly, making you yelp in pain.

"Yeah, y-you're m'daddy-"

"That's more like it, that's what I wanna hear. I bet you have a nice, big kink for letting older men like me have their way with you, fucking your brains out n' stuffing you like a creampie--or am I the only one who's churned you like butter?" with each thrust, each question posed, he let out another snarl, almost like a feral wolf in heat.

"Oh, I am sooo gonna destroy you now, you little slut. I mean, just look at the way you're lookin' at me right now, I bet you wore that slutty lil' lingerie set of yours earlier so you could get the ever-loving shit fucked out of you, huh? Huh?" he slapped your thigh again & again, his large red hand leaving a print on the fat. "Answer me when I ask you questions!!"

"Y-Yes!" you admitted finally, "I wore that lingerie set so I could get the shit... fucked out of me!! God, I've been waiting for this day for ages, the day when I'd finally find someone who could ruin me!!"

He let out a dark laugh, stuffing two fingers down your throat & making you gag. "You fucking whore, you're a fucking whore, aren't ya? A whore for big dicks, eh? I bet I've already turned you into my whore, haven't I, angel?"

You nodded while gagging on his fingers, the tears of pleasure and pain falling down your cheeks. Here you were, getting completely slutted out, drilled into this mattress by a guy who was 10 years your senior, and you were in heaven. You had no idea that meeting up with someone you met online could lead to the most mind-numbing, toe-curling sex imaginable, but you were so fucking glad to have taken the leap.

"Enough talking from you, whore," he sneered, adding a third finger to your mouth & making you drool. "I'm gonna show you how good it feels to be turned into a fleshlight."

By the time the words registered inside of your head, you were already long gone. The combination of his fingers down your throat, the dirty degradation & praise he was spewing into your ear, and the feeling of his cock piercing your spongy spot relentlessly made your mind break, and you were only one round in. With Toji's endless, stallion-like stamina, you were no doubt gonna be fucked in all sorts of positions & ways.

A week ago, you wouldn't have recognized the girl who you'd been turned into. You probably would've been embarrassed of yourself at that. But any girl or guy would've been jealous of you if they saw how good the pipe was.

"Fuck~! Fuck~! Fuck~!" was all that you were able to say as the man demolished you (with your approval, of course). You'd never cum so fast in your life, but you could feel that familiar bubble building up in you--only it was a good 10 times more intense than the last time you had sex with a guy. Maybe it was the deep dish dick that he gave you, or maybe it was the insane chemistry that you and him had, but it was coming to you like a freight train.

He could feel your tight little anus clenching down on his cock repeatedly, and he knew that you were gonna cum quickly. "Awww, is my lil' angel gonna cum?" he asked mockingly, to which you nodded. "I shouldn't even let ya cum after seeing how much of a whore you are, but you've been sooo good to my dick that I just have to reward you."

He leaned down to kiss the side of your face & whispered: "go ahead, princess, cum for me. Cum on daddy's dick, n' I'll stuff ya full of his seed." He even rubbed your cock just so you could cum sooner.

And just like that, you came all over yourself & his hand. It was a pretty sight to see, the milky white fluid shooting out of your tip like an uncontrollable, unstable geyser, and you couldn't stop the "Toji~!"s and "daddy~!"s from leaving your lips--not that either of you wanted that to stop.

Toji just chuckled & watched you ride out your orgasm on his dick. "Fuck... just look at you, baby, you're a work of art. If we weren't strangers, I woulda snapped a pic o' this view and made it my lockscreen, but we aren't there yet?"

As you came down from your high, you looked at him hazily in confusion. "Wha...? Whaddya mean?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow. "I'm keeping ya around, pet. What, you thought that this was some one-time, one-night stand?" he scoffed, shaking his head.

"I'm not letting go of your sweet ass until my hands can't physically do so anymore."

Toji promptly fucked you in every single position imaginable, orgasm after orgasm spewing from the tip of your overstimulated penis. Missionary, doggy, cowgirl, spooning, reverse cowgirl, the spread-eagle--the mating press was your personal favorite because you got to feel every ounce of that man on top of you.

By the time you were able to register what was happening, you'd already came... however many times you came, and you were currently getting pistoned into in the full nelson. He had your ankles next to your head, your soft, squishy body propped up against his shredded & muscular frame, and his huge cock lodged deep inside of you.

"Fuck... fuck... fuck," he panted, still thrusting after all this time. "You can take another load, right, doll? Well, it don't matter anyway; you're taking my seed until my balls empty out."

"Toji... p-please," you whimpered, so overstimulated that you could barely keep conscious. "Had enough..."

"Oh, you can take another. You're a big girl, right?" he patted your thigh mockingly and went back to holding your ankle up, making sure that you were at his mercy. "So overstuffed you might just burst, hm?" he cooed, kissing next to your ear. "I just love making pretty girls like you into total sluts."

You went back to lolling your head to the side, your jaw open as the moans escaped your lips.

"Fuck... think 'm gonna-" before he could finish that sentence, he dumped yet another thick & heavy load into your hole. You let out a weak whimper and curled your toes, the feeling stimulating you yet again. Your eye trailed over to him when you realized that he wasn't thrusting anymore, and you could see that he was panting heavily.

"Toji...?"

"I think I've dumped every ounce of seed into ya, doll," he chuckled breathlessly, throwing his head back in victory. "N' you managed to do it without tapping out, too. I'm proud of ya for taking all of this--most girls can't even manage a fourth round before tapping out."

You didn't say anything, instead falling back onto his body weakly. "So tired," you mumbled against his meaty pec.

"I know you are," he crooned, running a hand through your hair and smiling at your fucked-out form. "You really took it all like a champ, angel. I'm truly proud of you."

Taking all of his pipe & his seed should've earn you a trophy.

"Thankyou," you slurred, still resting your head on his chest. "Think I'm gonna... rest here for a little while."

"Me, too, doll," he sighed, stretching his arm out to wrap around your shoulders. He leaned in, pressing a few kisses to your sweaty forehead, looking at you with every ounce of love he had in his body. "You know I didn't mean any of that shit about you being a slut, right?"

"Mm..."

"That's how I get when I'm caught up in the moment," he chuckled, now nuzzling his lips there. "You're just the most beautiful girl in the world," he remarked, still gazing at you fondly. "It's a wonder you're still available. Then again, not many can handle a girl like you, can they?"

You were slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms, the love hotel's bed surprisingly comfy for your weak form. "Hey... you're not gonna... run off in the morning, right? Like all the rest?"

"Are you kiddin' me?" he scoffed, the notion of him being a guy like that ridiculous to him. "I'm not an asshole, doll. I've got the most beautiful girl in the world resting in my arms. Ain't no way I'm gonna make the mistake of letting you go so quickly, no ma'am. When I meant I wasn't gonna leave you alone, I meant it."

By then, he realized that you had fallen asleep, and he gave you a soft smile. "So fuckin' pretty when you're relaxed, doll..." he whispered, pressing more soft kisses to your forehead. He moved his arm from your shoulder to your waist and was now cradling your petite frame to his burly one.

"You're not like the others on that website, are you?" he asked both you and himself. "You're an angel amongst men... you don't belong there. You deserve the world, n' I hope you'll let me give it to you. Hell, I hope I can even give you what you deserve." He, too, felt a little weary, but he stayed awake just to watch your sleeping form.

"You deserve heaven, angel."

I'M PART OF THE SOFT!TOJI AGENDA!!! I wanted to give the reader a comforting ending, just in case someone was stuck in a bad situation w/ an asshole 🥹 I also kinda went overboard on the smut but I made the ending as fluffy as possible! I'm not proofreading this btw.

© ʙʀᴜɴᴇᴛᴛᴇ-ʙɪᴛᴄʜ77 on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 7/2/2024

[quichein-me-softly]

unrequited w/ sans

(Plot: You been in love with Sans, your best friend, for three years, but Sans can’t return those feelings. After Sans begins seeing Toriel, he inadvertently hurts you by talking about his growing affection for her. Though you try to mask your heartbreak, Sans sees through the facade. He acknowledges your feelings, apologizing gently without outright rejection, knowing it’s "for the better." You break down, and in a painful twist, Sans comforts you, even though he’s the one who rejected you. Despite the heartbreak, Sans remains by your side, offering silent, bittersweet support.)

(author's note: we're gettin' down and angsty again. whoop whoop! oh and here is sans' pov :P)

Time had a way of dragging things out when feelings were involved.

You’d harbored them for over three years now—this quiet, steady love for Sans, your best friend. You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it started, but somewhere between his dry humor and the rare glimpses of the deeper, serious side he kept hidden, your heart had been caught. You tried to play it off at first, tried to convince yourself it wasn’t real, but the feelings stuck. And grew.

He never noticed, at least not openly. Sans was good at keeping things easy, deflecting the heavy stuff with a joke, a wink, or a quick shift in topic. And you let him, because it was easier that way. But now, watching him with her—Toriel—it all felt heavier than you could bear.

His deeply smitten voice breaks you from your thoughts.

“heh, you should’ve seen her, sunshine,” Sans says, his voice full of warmth. “we went out to this little café, y’know the one near the library? she was crackin’ up at every bad joke i threw her way.”

You force a smile, feeling your heart sink with every word. Sitting across from him at Grillby’s, in your usual spot, the space between you feels wider than ever. He’s talking about Toriel again, and you try to listen, to be the supportive friend you’ve always been. But every time he says her name, paired with the pet name he once gave you, it twists the knife just a little deeper.

“That sounds great. I’m really happy for you, Sans.” you manage, your voice light, even though it feels like your chest is caving in.

Sans gives you a long look, and for a moment, you’re afraid he sees right through you. But then he laughs softly, eyes flicking back down to his ketchup. “yeah, she’s somethin’ else, y’know? she’s just got this... way about her.”

Those words hit you like a punch to the gut, tears prickling behind your eyes. You’d spent months trying to be that person for him—trying to make him laugh, to offer the same warmth he gave you. But it was never enough, was it? You weren’t her.

“I’m glad you found someone like that,” you whisper, hoping your voice doesn’t break. You glance down at the fries on your plate, suddenly losing your appetite.

Sans is quiet for a moment, and that’s when you realize—he’s noticed. He always notices, even when he doesn’t say anything. It’s one of the reasons you fell for him in the first place. He reads you like no one else can, and it’s both a blessing and a curse.

“listen,” he says softly, his tone losing its usual playful edge. “i... i'm sorry.”

Your stomach drops. You blink, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill. “For what?”

“i’m so sorry.” he says softly, his voice full of regret. “just... know it’s for the better.”

You nod, though your chest aches with the effort. You knew this was coming. You’d known from the moment you saw the way he looked at Toriel. It wasn’t hard to see why he was drawn to her. She was kind, patient, everything you admired in him reflected back in her. But knowing that didn’t make the pain any easier to bear.

For a moment, you can’t breathe. It’s not an outright rejection, but the meaning is clear. He can’t be with you. He never could. And hearing him say it, even in this roundabout way, makes it all so much worse.

You nod again, swallowing back the tears that threaten to spill over. “Yeah,” you whisper. “I know.”

But you don’t know. Not really. It doesn’t feel like it’s for the better. It feels like your heart is being ripped apart, and the worst part is that he’s still here, still being Sans—still the kind, caring friend who’s trying to make this easier for you. And it hurts even more because these are the very qualities you love about him. The qualities that make it impossible for you to just move on.

The tears start to fall, and you hate yourself for it, for breaking in front of him like this. But Sans, in his usual quiet way, shifts closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. He doesn’t pull away, doesn’t make a joke to lighten the mood. Instead, he stays there with you, through the heaviness, even though he’s the one who caused it.

You feel yourself breaking, the tears slipping down your cheeks despite your best efforts to hold them back. You turn away, trying to hide it, but Sans sees. He always sees.

Without a word, he pulls you into a hug, his arms wrapping around you in that familiar, gentle way that only he can. It hurts worse. “i’m so sorry, sunshine,” he whispers again, and this time, you can’t hold back. You sob into his hoodie, your hands gripping the fabric as if it’s the only thing keeping you grounded.

“it’s okay,” he whispers, his thumb brushing soothing circles on your shoulder. “let it out. i’m here.”

That’s what hurts the most. He is here, supporting you through your heartbreak, even though he’s the one who turned you down. And yet, it’s those same qualities—his kindness, his care, the way he’s always present when you need him—that made you fall for him in the first place.

He holds you tighter, his hand rubbing slow circles on your back, and for a moment, it feels like the world has stopped. It’s cruel, really. The way he’s here, comforting you through the loss, even though he’s the one you’re losing. The one who broke your heart, even though he never meant to.

“i wish things were different,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible. “i really do.”

You know he means it, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. You pull away slightly, wiping at your eyes, embarrassed by how vulnerable you’ve become. But Sans just gives you a soft smile, the kind that shows he understands more than he’s letting on.

“we’ll be okay,” he says quietly. “promise.”

You keep nodding, even though you’re not sure you believe him. But it’s Sans, and he’s always been there for you. Maybe this time, you’ll believe it for his sake.

As the night wears on, the pain lingers, but so does his warmth. And even though it feels like everything has changed, in this moment, you still have him. Even if it’s not in the way you wanted.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

You said so many kind things about the Lilisil drawing from yesterday, I’ll reply to all of you now… 😭❤️ There are some other replies here too!

Anonymous asked:

How long did True Loves Kiss take to complete? Currently working on a fucking big piece too and its kind of helping me refrain from cutting corners on some details LOL

LOL I’m glad to hear that!!

It took three evenings + some finishing touches on the 4rd day… So I think roughly 15 hours? Which is more than usual, but there’s been some shortcuts: since I painted the background, I didn’t have to do a lot of lineart (the most time-consuming and difficult part was Lilia’s uniform)… but then I went and spent all this time on the embroidery and other details lol

I really love drawing something bigger from time to time; it requires a lot of thinking juices and time, but it’s so worth it at the end.

Anon, please keep working on your big piece, and please have fun with it! And take your time <3

Anonymous asked:

THE LILISIL ARTWORK IS SO BEAUTIFUL I AM FLOORED‼️‼️‼️ The print on the blanket is so pretty, with the birds!!!!!!!!!!!! The LIGHTING is IMPECCABLE 😭 There's just no better compliment I can give except that I really really really it's just SO crisp and yummy I really want to eat it put it in my mouth I'm speechless

THANK YOU SO MUUUUCH ANON!!!!

I’m so stupidly happy you noticed the birds; I was complaining about them not being very visible the entire time as I was drawing the print lol it was very annoying of me.

It’s amazing that you liked it this much, I am super thankful!! Please eat it, I’d be honored…

thestarlightfae asked:

The detail! The lighting! More specifically, the gold on the duvet, it looks like its glowing, and the pattern is super intricate! And their are birds! And the vines! So many little details that are unintentional yet, after you read chapter 7 I think you will find it even more interesting! And the balls of light (will-o-wisps? magic? special effects?)! The way Lilia's eye is glowing! Even in the shadows you can still see his eyes glowing! And the stars on the background! This is stunning! I could go on, but I already had to switch this from comment to ask as I exceeded the character limit and I have work to do, but OMG! Words cannot express how much I love it!

AAAH THIS IS SO KIND--!!

“Duvet” is such a fancy word, I feel so flattered… I don’t know it makes the whole thing feel so much… fancier. Thank you orz

And thank you so much for going through all the details; it’s so exciting to read!! It gives me a lot of motivation… I am very happy you liked it! Drawing all these things was really worth it.

Also, I am so intrigued by what you said about ch7. Really looking forward to revisiting this drawing after watching it…

Anonymous asked:

It looks like Lilia is going to drink silver's blood rather than kiss him.... that or i read to many vampire stuff >>;

Ok, but why is that Lilia and Silver art SO FREAKING GOOD?!

Magic I say!

Magic!

You are a warlock!

(but seriously, it looks so good like wtf. my eyes are blessed)

You never know with Lilia, especially when it comes to our stuff with him: he is always either going for a kiss or is about to pounce and bite and drink all of the blood… especially with Silver, he just can’t get enough of him <3

Also! Thank you so much!! Super happy to hear that you like it!! ;w;

Alright, moving on to some other topics!

Anonymous asked:

I want mountain Jade to break my head between his thighs 😩

Don’t do it, Anon, this is what he wants, this is how he tricks people!

Anonymous asked:

I JUST LOVEEE HOW JADE WAS LIKE "i'm worried your make up is gonna be ruined 😊" and Vil is like "Bullshit. We going." Jade thought he's gonna watch Vil suffer somehow, but he's the one who suffered at the end- Love seeing these rare moments of him being caught off guard

And also loving how everytime he goes thru smth uncomfortable, he goes "Azul should experience this as well." They are giving "If i'm going down, you're going with me" type of besties-

(related to Vil’s vignette from the Playful Land event)

The moment Vil sensed a sprinkle of discomfort in Jade’s voice, Jade lost this battle. Because of course Vil would be petty enough not to play along just to trouble Jade lol It’s understandable though, Jade being nervous is a pretty rare sight… And of course Vil would enjoy kind of punishing Jade for being such a troll for once lol

Jade really tried his best to bullshit his way out of the ride. He is oh so worried about Vil’s makeup :( Very worried and concerned!!! Such a good vignette, I can’t get over it.

But also? Poor Azul lol

Anonymous asked:

Slut-tistics anon here! First of all, I can't believe you would trick me like this, I came here with an honest question and ended up getting thoroughly bamboozled! You just looked me straight in my anon shades and went "ok I won't say all of them... just most of them :)". Jokes aside, thank you for your reply, I asked for a treat and got a whole meal of ships. Honestly, Kalim/Fellow is just hilarious because Kalim is rich and dumb, and to Fellow he is basically the worst, but at the same time he is rich and dumb, so he's kind of a gift from the heavens. I can definitely see Fellow and Gidel dropping by the Scarabia dorm to see if their friend would like to share some of his hospitality (and belongings). Poor bastards don't even know about the guard dog, Jamil would throw a fit (For the heir of the Asim, to associate with these... crooks! The sooner they leave the better...). Even worse if Fellow tries to get it on with Kalim, Jamil would worry that he might catch a disease. That absolutely cannot happen! Maybe Fellow can get Gidel to distract him: he keeps "borrowing" stuff from the storage room, someone needs to stop him! (Imagine a Tom&Jerry chase scene, but the one being chased is the cat) But the one pairing that interests me the most out of the ones you mentioned was definitely Ace/Fellow, just imagining the combined douchebag energy makes my blood boil with anger. Also, every Ace ship I like has to face the brother-tax (he keeps stealing his things), but at least this time it makes a little sense. Both Fellow and Ace's bro work at theme parks, they have so much in common already! Last but not least, from what I could gather from your previous answers, I'm guessing we're also going to see some MobFellow in the future, right? I'm very excited to know more about his... um... work situation. I've actually been meaning to ask you something Mob related for quite a while (not with Fellow but with another character), but since I've already written an essay, I'll save it for another time. Sorry, and good day!

SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY AHHH AND LOL SORRY ANON, I really couldn’t pick one! It’s impossible…

Alright if I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, let’s go with Ace; he is clingy, hot-headed, annoying and horny enough for that LOL Just like you said, it’s the combined douchebag energy! I really like the idea of- you know what, I’ll talk about these two tomorrow when I post the hc post >:3 I have much to say. But also, totally agree with the brother-tax. You go, Trappola-aniki, steal Fellow from him. I feel like they would actually end up having a lot in common and maybe even genuinely enjoy each other company, oh no… (also Damn there are a lot of gingers in this whole situation…)

Kalim/Fellow is super fun though, they deserve their own sitcom. It’s super easy to imagine everything you’ve mentioned and described; poor Fellow, he doesn’t even know that he is about to experience Jamil’s overprotective nature!...

What I found interesting about their interactions is that even though it feels like Fellow would easily sell his body and soul to Kalim and shower in his money, whenever Kalim actually tells Fellow that he would pay him, Fellow looks very offended. I guess it’s because Kalim being so carefree with his money and unintentionally flexing is very irritating and even insulting. Kalim gets so confused by this reaction, he just wanted to help...

So I can picture Fellow getting nervous surrounded by Kalim’s riches, keeping Gidel close to himself in case he pickpockets something (he’ll still manage steal so much shit). With this feeling in the back of Fellow’s mind that even though Kalim is kind and sweet, he could easily try to buy him just like Fellow’s bosses always do, and he’d be waiting for this moment very tensely… and maybe even anticipating for it at some point. Maybe after some time, he’d start hoping for it. Man would go full 180 in his mind while Kalim is just out there trying to be the best host possible lol

(As for Jamil… Who knows, maybe Kalim would even be cursed enough to ask Jamil about whether he’s jealous or not… or even worse, he won’t even ask, just tell Jamil not to worry about it. This is so much worse, Jamil would overblot again due to the stupidity of the situation…)

About the Mobs: YES, we posted a bunch of Mobs/Fellow stuff in my locked (as in privated) acc for some unedited smut, and I’ll write something up very soon too :3

[adrianicsea]

[to-hell-and-beyond]

Were Your Love Lies

Robby Keene x Female Reader

Requested: Yes : No

Request: If your requests are open and of course if you want to write this, I would love to read a Robby Keene x reader were reader is friends with Sam and likes Robby(the feelings are reciprocated). But he and Sam are exes and so reader is hesitant to date Robby because of girl code. Sam can be back with Miguel or at least she’s over Robby. If you hate this idea you are more than welcome to ignore! -Anon

Ok, sorry this took sooooo long. I kinda made Sam the enemy because that's the kinda mood I am in today. I hope you enjoy.

Summary: You and Robby have gotten closer ever since his breakup with Sam. You decided that a beach party s the best time to tell your best friend your feelings about her ex. That is until a very big secret unfolds...

Words: 1580

The sounds of skateboards hitting concrete echoed around you and Robby as you walked by. It had become a common accurce for the both of you to be walking around town. The two of you had gotten closer as your best friend Sam had taken some time off. You barely saw her anymore, just at the dojo. You knew she had been hanging out with the Cobra a lot more but you were still ok with it. She was your best friend and she could have more than one friend.

But you did wish you could talk to her because of the girl code. Because you had been spending so much time with Robby, you felt your feelings of him grow more into a romantic feeling. You wanted to tell Sam and ask her for her blessing. But every time you seemed to try to talk to her she would make up some sort of excuse.

“I was thinking that maybe we could talk Mr.LaRusso to going to visit the beach this weekend. What do you think?” Robby asked as your eyes went glossy looking into the sky.

“Y/n?” He asked again as it finally got your attention.

“W-what? S-sorry, what are you saying?” You chucked as you turned to face him. He had his sweet smile on his face and his hair sparkled and shined from the rays of sun hitting him. You wished you could take a photo of him right now and keep it forever. He looked so beautiful in that moment.

“It’s ok Y/n. How do you feel about going to the beach this weekend. Maybe afterwards we could host a party?”

“I’d like that.”

-------

So there you were. Standing in the middle of the beach with the flames of the campfire behind glistening in the night sky. The practice at the beach had been a huge success as both you and Robby learned so much. You had finally mastered that kick that you’ve been wanting to land for a while now. Robby was so happy for you that you felt kinda embarrassed. Of course you did not show it but your heart swelled up in pride by his compliments.

Sam couldn't come. Something about “already promised my friend I’d help them study'', whatever that meant. You were getting kinda worried about Sam. She never answered your calls or read your texts anymore. Heck, she even started leaving you on open on snap! So you hoped that when you sent her the invite for the party that she would come. She was your best friend after all.

You looked around to see that some of the Cobras were already there. They didn't seem to be there to pick a fight with anybody so you were happy about that. The last thing you needed was another beach fight.

“Have you seen Sam anywhere?” You asked some of the Cobras as they all turned to look at you. You guys were not enemies but not the best of friends. You tolaterted each other.

“Probably with Miguel.” The one with the Mohawk “Hawk” joked as the rest of the Cobras laughed. You were confused and wondered what that meant.

“Seems like they never leave each other's side.” Another Cobra “Mitch” said which made them all laugh again.

“I’m sorry but, why would she be with Miguel?” You asked confused as they all stopped laughing to look at you. Did you really not know?

“Y/n…” Aisha said as she came up to stand beside you. Even though she had left, she still came sometimes to party and talk with her Cobra friends and old teammates.

“Ever since Tory left...Miguel and Sam had been...close. Take a look for yourself.” You looked to where Aisha was pointing to see your best friend and her ex making out.

So this is why your best friend keeps ditching you and Robby. She was sucking the face off of her ex. Who she claimed she was over with. Didn’t really look like she was over him. You hadn't even made a move on Robby because of the girl code but she was here. Was it really that hard for her to tell you that she was dating Miguel again? But maybe this was all some sort of misunderstanding. You decided to take matters into your own hands and go to talk to her.

“Glad you could make it Sam! You too Miguel.” You called out as you walked towards the couple. Sam had a look of shock as she immediately stopped kissing Miguel to look at you.

“H-hey Y/n” Sam muttered as she looked at you. You were confused on why she looked so worried. Did she think that you didn't support her relationship?

“Can I talk to you for a second?” You wanted the details. When did this happen, were, why and so much more. You also wanted to ask her for her blessing to start dating Robby.

“S-shure.” She kissed Miguel's cheek as you waved to him. He waved back as Sam led you to a clearing just a few meters away from the ever growing beach party. You sat on one of the tree stumps there as she sat on another one just a few feet away from you.

“I want to know it all. Why have you been ignoring me? Why didn't you tell me you were dating Miguel again? Why were you so scared when I came up to you? And how did that whole relationship come back to the world of the living?” You asked as she began to fiddle with her thumbs.

“You gotta start realizing what I was feeling at the time Y/n. Ever since Robby dumped me I was heartbroken. Miguel was there and he was also there, threw the whole thing. Every tear and every heart breaking moment. He apologized for everything that happened and we got close.” Sam tried to explain.

“Ok Sam. First off, Robby never dumped you. I was there when that happened, you told him that you needed space. Second, why couldn't you tell me? I’m ok with you being with Miguel. I just wish you would have told me.” Sam looked down.

Flashback:

You heard shouting coming from outside the dojo as you left the punching bag to go check it out. The voice of your best friend Sam’s voice grew louder and louder as Robby’s grew quieter and quieter. It was like he almost didn't want to fight.

“You know what!” Sam yelled as she pointed her finger at Robby. You saw the look of despair on his face and you swore you heard your heart crack.

“We’re going on a break!” She yelled again as she shoved past Robby and walked right out of the dojo.

“You ok?” You asked Robby. He opened his mouth to respond to you but he broke down in sobs. You held him tight as you let him let all of it out. That was the start of your friendship.

“I ran out and you didn’t go after me!” Sam said as she clenched her sleeve.

“If this is what this is about Sam, I’m sorry. I never meant for you to feel like I was putting you in second place. Robby was there and he was hurt! I had to help him! That’s kinda the reason I also wanted to talk to you…” Sam looked at you curiously as you took a deep breath and looked up to look at her.

“Well, I’ve gotten closer to Robby when you were kinda with Miguel. We got really, really close. Sam...I like Robby and I want your permission to...make a move on him.” You said as Sam looked at you with disbelief.

“Y/n. Don’t you think that’s kinda weird. Like me and Robby were just dating.”

“But aren’t you with Miguel now? Aren’t you over Robby?”

“That’s not what this is about Y/n! First, you interrupt me and Miguel to tell me that you like my ex? What happened to the girl code!”

“That’s why i'm trying to ask you-”

“You have no idea what it’s like to date him! It's always reassuring him that you love him and that you would never leave him. It’s exhausting! Sorry that I’m trying to be a good friend and try to stop you from making the same huge mistake that I made!” Sam yelled as you knew she looked embarrassed as you noticed some of the Cobras looking your way.

“ You know what Sam. This is exactly why your relationship didn't work. You blame everything on everyone and if something isn't what you exactly like you drop it. That’s what happened to me and Robby. It's not either of our faults it's yours. So you know what. I’m going to ask Robby to date me whether you like it or not.” You said as you stood up and grabbed your bag and left to somewhere quiet. You didn’t need to deal with a bunch of teenagers right now.

“Hey, have you guys seen Y/n? She said she was going to ask you guys where Sam was.” Robby said as he walked up to the Cobras. He knew how dangerous that was since the whole Cobra Kai vs Miyagi-do thing.

“Your girlfriend is fighting your ex bro.” Hawk said as he pointed to where you were storming off leaving Sam all alone.

“Well-*bleep*”

[yumgrapejuice]

OK WAIT y'all i didn't tell you about some of the highlights of my artist alley time

first of all. yea there were Quite a Few dsmp enjoyers and so my stuff did rather well, so i'm very glad about that haha, it was so endearing when you could See some of their faces light up when they saw my table....<33

but there were a few different types of buyers. there was the Shy one. you could see they wanted to get stuff but sometimes it took them circling back a few times to actually buy anything. very cute tbh. there was this one girl who was with a friend, though, and the friend wasn't a dsmp fan but they knew about it because their friend really liked it, so the moment they got to my table she went "omg it's dsmp!! the thing u like!! what do you wanna get?? i'm paying" and the girl was so bashful and hesitant but with her friend's encouragement she ended up getting quite a lot 😭❤️ the friend herself got a print because "i don't watch but damn this looks good" i love them

then there was the Casual buyer. they came, saw what they liked, got it, moved on. my favorite example was this goth dude who, completely wordlessly, got out his wallet, pointed at a fox fundy sticker, we exchanged the goods, and moved on. pleasure doing business with you sir

there was also the Clueless buyer. they didn't look like they knew it was dsmp stuff but they just found some of my designs cute. bless them

and my favorite one, the Confident one. oh fellas...... listen, whenever a guy or a group of guys walked by, i always got a bit nervous because, yk, it's not uncommon for them to be Rude. however!! there were some who were absolutely lovely, which always got me super excited. my absolute favorite example - this one guy in an ace attorney cosplay, my age, very fuckin cute, strode up to my table, eyes sparkling, and said "give me everything you have with dream" and FELLAS when i say love at first sight..... we talked some too, he expressed how he'd been searching for a table like this and he'd been getting a bit down cause he couldn't find much and how cool my stuff was, and i swear when i say i was swirling my hair and kicking my feet... yes this is why i'm HERE, and also i love you forreal....... such an absolute sweetheart.....

ok but there was another person who wasn't a fan or bought anything but absolutely made my day. they came up, said "i've been seeing these really cool cosplays but i have no idea what this fandom is about, so could you maybe tell me about it?" and i just went "😳🤩🥰😍GIRL.... I GOT YOU"

so i proceeded to spend the next 15 mins trying my best to explain what the fuck the dsmp is and what it's about lollll, a sure way to get me all hyper. and the girl was listening soooo enthusiastically, too, like!!!! she was clueless yet so interested!! at some point there were more people gathered around but idk if they just wanted to listen or thought it was stupid but i didn't care, i was laser-focused on my recap lmao. there was this another girl who kinda interrupted me and went "why do you sound so excited?" which uhh lol? but before i could respond, the one i was talking to turned to her and said "because it's exciting! it sounds so crazy!" like....i love you....wtf.......

it ended w her saying she'll try to look into it so no more spoilers and i just shoved my card to her, like "follow me talk to me you'd need a guide" anyways fingers crossed she reaches out ahaha

there was actually another table that had dsmp stuff, i just didn't go to any other tables myself cause i was feeling quite ill, but the artist later came to me and got whatever i had with hermitcraft, which, admittedly, wasn't,, a lot, so i'll have to work on that haha, but she was sooo sweet and her bad cosplay was so good....very lovely gal

anyways irl dsmp fans ily keep it up

[merakiui]

hey!! i was lucky enough to stumble across your blog, & i'm enjoying your writing!! could i request something for a first date w/ sian? maybe something more casual, like a cafe!

(I’m glad you like it! Hopefully this is what you had in mind with your request! I went for a “friends to lovers” vibe in a modern setting if that’s okay. Please enjoy and thank you for such a fun request!)

Courtesy Coffee (Sian)

You met under unpleasant circumstances. Sian was in a rush to get to his destination, and you were staring down at your phone with a cup of iced coffee in your other hand. Like that banal trope in shoujo manga, the two of you crashed into one another, and your drink spilled all over his outfit. As complete strangers, it was obvious that the one who was drenched would be incredibly frustrated. That was an exact observation, only Sian didn’t feel the need to use a filter that day.

“Are you kidding me? Watch where you’re going!” he had yelled, gripping his soaked shirt and glaring daggers at you. “How am I supposed to show up to work looking like this?!”

Anyone would feel frightened with his exasperated tone of voice and the intimidating aura that surrounded him, but you weren’t one to surrender immediately.

Straightening your shoulders, you met his heated stare. “I’m sorry. At least it wasn’t hot, right?” Hoping to dispel his anger, you smiled a little. “I can buy you a clean shirt if it’ll make you feel better.”

He puffed his cheeks out, suddenly bashful as he avoided your gaze. “It’s the least you could do! Seriously, this is the worst. I smell just like your stupid coffee.”

“Hey, don’t diss my iced coffee. It’s delicious and you know it.”

“If it’s so good, why is it all over me?” he snapped, crossing his arms. “This’ll stain, you know!”

“I offered to get you another shirt.”

“It’s not just on my shirt, you moron! I can’t face my colleagues like this. You have no idea what they’ll say.”

“Suck it up then!”

“No!”

You sighed heavily, gripping your empty coffee cup. “There’s no need to be difficult. Just let me get you a clean polo and slacks. Unless you’d rather parade around in wet, coffee-smelling attire. You’re making a scene with all of your yelling.”

“You were just yelling, too. Fine, whatever. I guess you can do that.”

Even as you spied his blush, you couldn’t ignore your thoughts. Is he seriously embarrassed by the fact that I’m getting him clothes? Anyone would do this to repay the damage. 

“That’s all I needed to hear. Oh, and for the record you’re the one who should watch where you’re going.”

He didn’t take those words too well. Regardless, that was how you met the guy with a loud mouth and an even louder personality. You ran into him twice after that incident, and each time he seemed to stumble over himself. He tried to thank you for the clothes, but all he could manage was a huff and an angry comment about how the fabric was uncomfortable. Weeks later, that same boy just so happened to feel bad about starting a few shouting matches with you during those three times you interacted. He saw you in a café by chance and secretly covered your drink fee, making the barista promise not to reveal his identity. It was a sweet gesture, despite being anonymous and a bit of a shock on your end. You’d never experienced the magic that was receiving your drink for free, but it was great nonetheless.

You enter work that morning with a cheery disposition, passing by coworkers and even engaging in kind banter with those who aren’t the friendliest. You clock in and make your way towards the elevator while scrolling through an online article. Hearing a familiar ping, you glance up, urging whoever’s inside to hold the door. There are four other people crammed within the area, all of whom are silently waiting for the elevator to rise. You push the button for your floor and relax. Momentarily, you glance around the enclosed space to see if you can recognize anyone from your department. Your eyes sweep from one person to the next, and you spot polite Nine at the very back.

You’re compelled to greet him, but someone stands in your way. Someone who bears an uncanny resemblance to the guy who was showered in iced coffee two weeks ago. You gasp and turn away, hoping he won’t notice you.

No way! We work for the same company? What’re the odds? This must be a bad omen! I don’t want to start another fight with him, you think, having done your best to erase those memories.

The elevator pings, and you’re completely distracted. Though you don’t miss the hand that taps your shoulder. Your gaze follows his arm. It’s that guy again.

“Hey. This is your floor, isn’t it?”

The number doesn’t lie, but Sian’s memory might as he struggles to recall your familiar features. It clicks just as you bolt out of the elevator, the doors slipping shut and obscuring your backside for good. Sian blinks rapidly as his face heats up. That was...

Coffee idiot! he thinks. There’s no mistaking that stupid look on their face. He’s thrown into a bad mood at once, internally grumbling as he remembers that day. Even if he changed into new clothes, he still smelled of coffee. It was embarrassing, and his bothersome colleagues wouldn’t leave him alone. And now we work in the same building. Maybe I should just quit so I don’t have to face them.

"Can you believe it, Youssef?” you ask your deskmate, having ranted to him while typing up the progress of this week’s publication. At least that’s a monetary positive for the company. You can’t say the same for your mentality, though. “I do something nice in return and he yells at me. And then we meet again—twice—and he’s still rude.”

Youssef tilts his head, a childish gesture for someone his age. “Are you sure you’re not incorrectly reading his actions?”

“I’m positive. When have I ever been wrong?” You frown as your fingers slow their pace on the keyboard. “I just found out today that we work in the same building. This is totally unfair. Why do I have to bear the burden of knowing this information?”

“I’m sure he means well. What does he look like? I might know him.” You describe him to your helpful colleague, who nods and taps his chin in thought. His expression lights up with recognition. “If I remember correctly, his name is Sian, and he’s in the marketing department. We’ve only talked briefly, but I can assure you he’s quite diligent with his work.”

“Well, everyone’s got their own personality outside of their jobs.”

“I suppose, but it’s not polite to label someone based off of such little knowledge,” he advises lightly, turning his attention back to his computer screen. “Rather than using all of your energy painting a bad image of him, you should spend that time getting to know him. It’ll fix any negative impressions you may have.”

“Something tells me he wouldn’t like that...”

Since then, you haven’t run into Sian once. At first you made it your mission to keep an eye out for him, but now that you’ve been busy with this new project you can’t be bothered to let his image clutter your mind. So you brush him aside like a cobweb, certain you won’t bump into him again. Your floors are far enough apart, so it’s unlikely that that’ll happen. But you’re not always the luckiest, and fate tends to tease those who aren’t on good terms with one another.

You’re close to running late on a rainy day, having missed the train, so now you’re doing everything you can to catch a taxi. Cars speed by on the road, and you fail to flag down a vehicle. Dejected and soaked to the bone, you drag your feet along the slick sidewalk, wishing for your next paycheck so that you can put it towards a used car. Speaking of cars, one slides past you as it makes an effort to park along the walkway. In doing so, the tires kick up a huge puddle, effectively soaking your lower half. As if the day couldn’t have gotten any worse. The car almost moves out of the spot before it halts, and the window steadily rolls down to reveal the face of your greatest enemy.

Well, he’s not technically your greatest enemy, but it really feels like it in that moment.

“Do you need a ride?” As if correcting himself, he quickly adds, “I’m not doing this because it’s you! I’m just sympathizing.”

Does it matter? you wonder, bitter and cold and wet. Karma is so brutal.

“You’re Sian, right?” You approach his car, peering in at the flustered man. “From marketing.”

“Y-Yeah. So what?”

“I’m in publishing.” Awkwardly, you look up at the cloudy sky. “It’s really coming down. The forecast didn’t call for this much rain.”

“Are you getting in or not?”

“But you’re a stranger,” you jest, fixing him with a pout. “I don’t want scary Sian to kidnap me.”

He glowers at your joke. “I’m leaving now. I don’t have time for this.”

You hold back a chuckle, tearing open the door before he can drive off. “Wait! Sorry, I’ll get in. I can’t stand another minute in this rain.”

The window slides up, and he sets the car in motion after you’ve buckled up, easing back into the flow of traffic smoothly. Now that you’re sitting there with the AC blowing cool air at your face, you shudder. Oh, how wonderful it must feel to be in clothes that are warm and untouched by the rain. In his peripheral, Sian catches your shivering form, and he switches the AC from cold air to hot. You might not dry as quick as one would hope, but at least it’s something.

The silence is utterly tense. You almost expect him to bicker with you like he did in the past. Instead, he’s focused on the winding road ahead. Though you don’t miss the pink hue that tints his cheeks and gradually rises to his ears.

“So,” you say, if only to get a conversation going. “How’s work?”

“Fine, I guess. How did you know who I was?”

“My friend Youssef.”

“Oh.”

“You probably don’t know me. I’m (Name).”

“I already know.”

“Really? Stalker.”

“I’m not a stalker!” he exclaims, glaring hard at the windshield. “You’re kind of hard to miss.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’re always so loud at our company parties. How can anyone ignore that?” Sian then proceeds to bless your ears with a story from this year’s holiday party. A few departments got together and went out for drinks and karaoke. Naturally, you had a drinking contest with your colleagues, which led to a tipsy night of bad singing and stumbling from one bar to the next. You were surprised Sian remembered that, mainly because you couldn’t recall seeing him there. And it’s been months since that rowdy night. “Do you see my point?”

“Don’t remind me. That hangover hurt my soul.”

He quirks a smile at that. “It’s not flattering when you sing high notes in the wrong key.”

“Like you could do any better.”

“I can because I was sober.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You roll your eyes, gazing out at the scenery that passes by in a blur of dull colors. Without meaning to, you eye Sian’s reflection in the window, taking note of his side profile. He’s actually quite handsome when he’s calm and not acting so stubborn. “I guess we’re even now.”

“Even?”

“I spilled coffee on you, and you splashed me when your tires hit that puddle.”

“Am I supposed to buy you clothes now?”

“If you’re offering...”

“I wasn’t offering!”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got a spare uniform in my locker.”

I wasn’t worried to begin with, you coffee idiot, Sian thinks, gripping the steering wheel. He keeps track of your occasional trembling, and he can’t help but feel troubled. You’ll catch a cold if you don’t dry off soon. Suddenly, he regrets pulling up beside you and accidentally sending water flying in your direction. This time it was definitely his fault, wasn’t it? Sian wants to make it up to you, but it’s impossible. He’ll die of embarrassment before he succeeds in performing a good deed in front of you.

Truthfully, he’s always noticed you. The very first instance was last year at the company’s drinking party. You were glued to Youssef’s side, engaging in idle chatter with him and another guy he wasn’t too familiar with. At the time, Sian thought your behavior was obnoxious. No one wants their younger coworker clinging to them. It just made you look like an attention-seeking puppy. Although you were definitely upbeat at that party. He had watched you chug an entire pint of beer like it was nothing and then join in on a pointless game of Ten Fingers with enough energy to put a child to shame.

He thought you were annoying at first, and yet there was something captivating about your personality. He’d never had the guts to approach you outright, so when he ran into you that day all of his frustrations just spilled over. He was angry at himself for not having the courage to talk to you at every company party, and now that he had a chance he couldn’t think of what to say. He hadn’t mentally prepared anything! So he said the first thing that came to his mind, which passed through his unfiltered lips in a very abrupt manner.

But you didn’t show any fear. You hardly flinched. Instead you met his words with a few of your own, and that’s what ruffled Sian’s feathers. You were so good at communication, and he was very much unskilled, usually relying on phrases he prepared in his head. It’s not like he couldn’t talk. He could when he was interested in a certain subject or whenever he was reading from a page, but in front of someone he admired... Sian knew he’d make a fool of himself.

Now that you’re sitting in the passenger seat of his car, he has every opportunity to say what he wants. Yet the words scramble in his brain, and he can’t calm his racing heart. Before he can think of anything witty, the building comes into view, and the parking garage has never seemed so dismal. Sian’s kicking himself as he parks, disappointed with how he handled that situation.

“Thanks for this. I’ll go on ahead.” You unbuckle, holding your briefcase and squeezing water from your blazer. “I’m sorry if I got your seat wet.”

“It’s...fine.”

You’re going to walk away and then he’ll become the coffee idiot. He opens his mouth to say something that’ll stop you, but you turn around at the right moment.

“Let’s get coffee sometime in the future. You deserve it after all the trouble I gave you,” you propose, smiling earnestly. And I feel guilty for my initial judgement. Youssef was right.

Sian’s eyes widen, and he struggles to remain stoic. “Oh, uh...”

“That’s okay with you, right?”

“I guess. Whatever works for you.” He shrugs.

“Great!” You retrieve a pen from your case and close the distance between the two of you. Humming, you snatch his hand, spreading his fingers so that his palm is wide open. And then you scribble something on it, grinning in satisfaction. Sian stares at you the entire time, his face blank and head filled with static. “Text me the days you’re available. See you later!” You tuck the pen away, hastily dashing in the direction of the elevator.

Sian stands there for a moment, slack-jawed. He forces himself to look down at his hand. Your number is written on his skin in smudged ink. His face erupts in a flurry of red. That coffee idiot...

------

“It’s not a date,” Sian mutters as he walks to the café. “It’s not. Stop thinking that way.”

But maybe it is a date, the voice in the back of his mind whispers, goading him into believing so. He dressed as casually as possible, but he still hopes it’ll impress you. There are plenty of fears that flood his head, and he almost turns around as soon as he gets to the entrance. But he’s come this far, and he’d regret it forever if he left now. This might be his only chance; he can’t afford to pass it up. So he pushes open the door in search of you. It doesn’t take long to locate your form amongst the few who are inside. Sian’s pulse rushes into overdrive, and he clenches his jaw.

It’s not a date. Act natural.

You look up from your phone just as he slides into the seat across from you. A warm smile blossoms across your face, and you tuck your mobile away. “Sian, you made it! I was worried you wouldn’t come.”

“It’d be rude if I didn’t show up after you made all those plans.”

“Yeah, that’s true. Well, thank you. Now I won’t have to feel bad about Monday morning.”

You had felt bad? Sian’s cheeks must be burning intensely bright now, but there’s nothing he can do. “It’s your fault for being an idiot.”

You chuckle. “That makes two of us. One idiot ignored the forecast, and the other wasn’t watching where he was going.”

“Whatever. Just so we’re clear, I’m not as stupid as you.” He crosses his arms and huffs. “And you don’t have any taste. I mean, iced coffee? Really?”

“It’s good!” you insist. “You’re missing out. Everyone knows iced coffee is better than hot coffee.”

“Is it now? I don’t agree with that statistic.”

“You’re allowed to have your own opinion, Mr. Sian,” you tease. “Give me your drink order. I’ll go get it.”

“What? No way. I’ll pay.”

“As if! I’m treating you.”

“You already bought me clothes.”

“And now I’m going to buy you coffee. It’s to say thanks for picking me up during that storm.”

“I would’ve left you on that sidewalk if I knew you were going to make it a hassle now!”

“Just accept my kindness!”

Sian shuts his mouth, giving into your demand. He grumbles his order, and you’re very happy as you make your way towards the register to get the two of you drinks and pastries. He watches as you pay, releasing a soft sigh. It’s hard to say no to someone you’ve admired for so long. Sian’s not sure when he started to like you, but he’s certain these recent interactions have only added fuel to the burning fire residing in his heart. It’s embarrassing to think he’s even on a romantic outing with you, but it’s not like the two of you are close friends. So then what does that make this?

When you return to the window table, setting down the drinks and a plate with two strawberry bread puddings, he’s shaken from his daydreams. This is actually happening. It’s not just another fantasy he’s imagined while witnessing you drink your sanity away at parties.

“I’m not sure if you like strawberries, but I—“

“I guess it’s okay,” he interrupts, trying to hide the fact that he actually likes it very much.

“Good!” You ease into your chair. “You’re not as bad as I thought you were.”

He raises an eyebrow as he takes a sip from his latte. “Huh.”

“You seemed really upset when I spilled my coffee on you. But anyone would be, so it’s completely understandable. I thought you hated me because of that. When we saw each other again, you were pretty sensitive.”

“I’m not sensitive!” he snaps, proving your point. “That was a white shirt you ruined.”

“Will you feel better if you dump coffee on me?”

“What? Why would I do that? I’m not going to do something as petty as that!”

“Aw, so you do care.”

“I don’t. Get lost.”

You break out into a laughing fit, genuinely amused at his coldness. Even if he doesn’t want to show it, he’s quite nice, and you’re relieved that he didn’t turn out to be a bully seeking revenge. Then again, it’s been weeks since that incident. 

“It’s not funny!”

“Sorry, sorry. You’re just so expressive. It’s hard not to laugh.”

A furious red darkens his face, and he decides to fumble with his fork in order to give his hands something to do. The bread pudding is surprisingly delicious. He fumes in his embarrassment while he eats.

Eventually, the two of you converse about work and that project your department took on. Sian listens to your rambling as you go on and on about how irksome it is when last-minute changes are made to a finalized draft. He enjoys every story you tell him, and by the time the plate is empty he feels as if he’s grown closer with you. Could this be the beginning of a friendship? He’s hit with a sudden wave of inspiration for lyrics that will never be sung. At least they can fester on a page in his notebook, where he’ll return on countless occasions to proofread and debate over the meaning of each line. Oh, how he’d love to share his music with you. It’ll take a while before he does something as bold as that, though.

“I just got an idea! There’s this awesome bar thirty minutes from work. I usually go with my friends because they’ve got a bunch of games you can play. Board games, card games—you name it. We should go one of these days.”

“R-Really?”

“Yeah! You seem like a fun guy to hang out with. Card games might sound boring, but they’re actually really fun when you’re playing for money. And when you’ve got a few drinks in your system.”

Sian struggles to hide the giddy smile that threatens to split his lips. “No... It sounds perfect. I’m actually really good at Slapjack, so be prepared to lose miserably!”

“Is that a challenge? What should we wager?”

"How about a meal? Loser has to pay for the winner’s lunch.”

“All right. It’s a deal. I’ll keep you updated on my schedule so that we can choose a weekend to meet up.”

“Sure!” Sian’s face won’t stop heating up and he can’t slow his erratic heartbeat. “I mean, I’ll only do it so I can get a free lunch. It’s not like I’m agreeing for your sake.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever floats your boat.”

His chest feels airy and light, almost as if he’s in a dream. Your words weigh on his conflicted heart. How can anyone make plans so easily? If the roles were reversed, he’d be an absolute mess. It’d be so embarrassing; Sian would probably want to curl up and disappear if he ever tried to ask you out on his own volition. You probably don’t even feel the same way. After all, this is merely two coworkers having a normal conversation. But he can’t get stuck in the friend zone. That’d be the worst outcome to all of this. So in the meantime he’ll do his best to act cordial. He can hide his shy demeanor and fluffy feelings behind a blunt attitude.

“All of this planning makes it seem like we’re a couple,” you muse with flirtatious intent. Leaning back in your chair, you gauge Sian’s reaction. Just as you figured, he’s turning crimson. It’s honestly endearing to see him get so flustered. “What do you think, Sian?”

“I... I don’t know. Don’t say stupid things! It’s really annoying.”

No matter how sharp his words are, you know he doesn’t mean it. After all, his expression clearly refutes those claims.

“Sian and (Name), sitting in a tree—“

“Shut up!”

If this isn’t a date, then what’s with all the flirting?

Sian’s going to have to take a cold shower when he gets home to lower his body temperature. And to scrub away the embarrassment that’s washed over him like rain.

It’s not a date. It’s just coffee with an acquaintance. Yeah. Just courtesy coffee.

He couldn’t be any further from the truth.

[capricornus-rex]

Hey hi!! I just wanna say first that I love your writing and you just capture Cal so well and your talent oml we stan 🙌 would you take a prompt of Cal being very confused as to why his girlfriend keeps crying every five seconds because he has no idea at first what's even happening and like it takes him a minute to put it together (it can be that time of the month or it can be pregnancy hormones, whatever's easiest, I'm sorry hormones made ya girl emotional and moody) pls & thanks!🙇

Hi Anon! First of all, thank you so much!! 🥺💞 Second, I AM SO SORRY that this took a while!! I know I shouldn’t be overusing the excuse that I’m swamped with requests and my fics tend to be more than just oneshots, but that’s the predicament right now. I hope you understand 😭😔 Anyways, I’m glad you still took the time to write to me ;;w;; I just feel reaallly bad that I made you wait long. Still, I hope you enjoy the fic, anon and thank you too!

Chapter 4: Untimely Blessing | Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: After a long time of running and fighting, you and Cal decided to finally settle down after all these years to raise a family. However, it was never a life of peace whilst the shadow of the Empire looms over your heads.

Other prompt/s in play: Anon 1′s prompt, Anon 2‘s baby prompt & Own fic idea

Also posted in AO3

Tags: Scruffy! Cal Kestis, Daddy! Cal Kestis, Adult! Cal Kestis, Jedi Family, Jedi Offspring, Force-Sensitive Offspring, Settling Down, Rebel Alliance

Chapters: 1 – 2 | Previous: Part 3 | Next: Part 5 | Masterlist

4 of ?

The weather was nice in Cerinda. Cal had been practicing with a self-made obstacle course in the forest, west of the lake where your wedding was held; meanwhile, you decided to take a breather by your wedding venue. You almost hated to admit that you couldn’t walk for perhaps a day and a half after that little private time you had in the Mantis with your husband.

About three weeks have already passed after that.

And for those three weeks, there was this feeling swirling in the pit of your stomach. Cal had noticed you craving for a lot of sweets—especially Jogan berries and space waffles—and you yourself felt sluggish, so you decided to sit by the sidelines of the training course.

While he had physical training, you meditated by the lake’s shore where it was tranquil. The peace helped you in getting into focus.

Your skin suddenly crawled in a good way, even though you were taken aback, you kept your eyes closed trying to keep yourself concentrated; but you ended up reminiscing how Cal’s lips trailed along your body, how his hands wandered and sank into your flesh. The feeling of his lips suckling at the exact same spots where he left his love bites jolted your nerves—your hand rubbed across your neck, chest, and shoulder and then crawled downward to your abdomen. You chuckled to yourself as the memories replayed in your head, struggling to remain focused.

“BD-1, over here!” Cal’s distant voice rang among the trees, but that didn’t distract you enough.

Suddenly, something was bubbling in your stomach and you could feel it rising to your throat each second. Your eyelids shot up and you fumbled onto fours, crawling away to anywhere until your entire body gave way, and allowed yourself to retch behind a tree trunk.

You coughed and spat out the bile, you clumsily crawled towards the edge of the lake, scooping a handful of water to your mouth to wash off the sour acidity that lingered in your cheeks. You did this for a couple of times until the taste was truly gone.

“Oh my…” you gasped, crawling away from the spot where you had your little accident and lay flat on the grass.

Your hand hesitated to crawl downward, to your lower abdomen just below your navel; your heart pounded with mixed emotions—you can’t pinpoint if you’re excited, nervous, or completely taken by surprise. But you’re primarily the latter, you just needed a second emotion to balance it out.

“Could it be…?” you mumbled.

You took a deep breath before your hand slithered below your navel, calming your heart of the eagerness—just to avoid breaking it if it wasn’t the case—and when your whole palm padded against your lower abdomen…

You felt it.

A tiny kick.

A little pulse.

Your heart leapt. You gasped—supposedly a laugh, but you were overtaken by emotion—your fingers rubbed across your tummy again.

There it is again!

“Aww…” you fawned, on the verge of happy tears.

Cal came out of the trees’ trail, spotting you lying down on the grass with your hand on your stomach. He bobbed his head to the side, quizzically looking at you wiping away a tear while standing at a distance.

“[y/n]?” he called to you, kneeling by your side on the grass.

Your attention shifted to his direction. He sat there next to you with a slightly confused look—mixed with a hint of concern for you.

You quickly propped yourself on your elbows, and then shifted to your knees. His nervous eyes followed your position.

“Are you alright?”

“Cal…” you started. Unable to say the words—even though they’re already at the tip of your tongue—you take both of his hands and reeled them to your stomach.

Your husband’s eyes widened. His smile stretched from ear-to-ear when he felt the ripple of life coming from within you. His heart bounced in perhaps the fastest beat it has ever beaten in years.

“Cal, I’m pregnant!” you announced.

BD-1 trilled a long note in reaction, the little droid is just as surprised as his owner is!

The redhead stammered and blinked away several times, struggling to gather all the words he needed to express; when he cradled your face in his hands, you could feel just from his touch that he was bursting with sheer, indescribable happiness. He exhaled sharply, his breath warm as he touched foreheads with you.

“This… This is wonderful!” he gasped. He couldn’t speak further, acting purely on impulse, he closed in to kiss you—he pressed his lips long and hard to yours. “We’re having a baby!”

The forest echoed with your laughter. Cal snatched you into his arms and held you for so long as he buried his face into your neck, muffling his continuous laughing, and slowly rocked you back and forth.

Cal remained with you by the lake for the rest of the afternoon, he couldn’t take his hands off of your stomach; he wanted to keep feeling for the faint pulse of the conceived child in your womb. He started to daydream about the games he and the baby would play, how they would turn out to be—if they’ll have your eyes or his, if they’ll take after their mischievous father or their headstrong mother, whatever the case, he has already loved them the moment he felt the smallest beat.

—–

It was your third month since the conception of your child. The first few weeks were difficult and overwhelming, considering that this is your very first pregnancy. Luckily, you had help with Merrin and Cere. Still, it felt like your energy was slowly ebbing way as the weeks went by.

To avoid getting rusty with your combat skills, you continued to practice your swings, spins, and flourishes without using getting to the more acrobatic moves that required jumps and wide strides. Cal also kept a close eye on you when it comes to practicing, seeing that you’re still eager for sparring.

“I am so against this!” he exclaimed.

“Come on, the training droids aren’t really doing much help!” you whined.

He wagged his finger at you as if scolding a child, “Only one round, okay? Whoever wins, that’s that.”

“Deal!”

Even if you were still itching for action, you moved with the greatest caution and care—both for yourself and your baby—you improvised the moves that were usually lively, you replaced the low ducks and slides with spinning, dance-link evasions that still eluded an attack in the same grace.

However, the power and strength of your sword arm didn’t seem to dull over time. You fenced with your husband—the contrast in the lightsaber techniques have become more obvious now, and he was being careful himself, he knew that you didn’t want to take it easy and so he came at a compromise.

“Aha!” he exerted as he had you at swordpoint.

“Okay, you got me. Deal’s a deal,”

“That’s my girl,” he cooed.

“Don’t be so smug, love. I want another try next week,”

When you got back to the Mantis, you staggered on your footing for a few seconds. It was a good thing Cal caught you before you slammed your back against the ship’s wall.

“How are you feeling, [y/n]?” asked Cere.

“A little lightheaded, more often than I probably should,”

“Usually, that becomes quite the norm, especially when a mother’s at her third month,” Merrin added.

“Is that so…?”

A few seconds later, the lightheadedness was gone and you settled yourself on the couch next to Merrin. Like the entire crew, everyone was so delighted to hear the news. First the engagement, then wedding, and now a baby!

But the most excited one is Merrin; if not Cal, the Nightsister was constantly by your side. She was practically your sister ever since. She offered to mix up potions that would help in easing your pregnancy without harming both you and the child; she was also the one who gave the most advice.

“My mother herself was a midwife, besides being an acolyte. She taught me everything, even if I never saw myself being in the same position as her,” the Nightsister disclosed.

Nevertheless, she was still delighted for your bundle of joy. The two of you traded secret wishes and future daydreams revolving around the child.

One evening, in the middle of the night where everyone had gone to sleep, you jumped out of bed, rushing towards the bathroom to vomit… again. For the second time this day. Earlier, Merrin had concocted a potion that was said to help ease the tensing of the belly, so the cramping would lessen for a few hours. For a while, that potion seemed to have worked—but it didn’t stop you from running to the bathroom just to retch it out again.

Cal was awakened by the abrupt shuffling of the bed, he heard the faint pitter-patter of your bare footsteps leave the room and followed you to the bathroom.

“No, not again…!” he heard your hushed voice as you rushed out of the room.

The sound of your retching was muffled behind the door. Bile exited your stomach, leaving a stinging feeling in your core. You ended up crying in exchange of not straining yourself and hurting your baby in the process. You struggled to cough out what’s left, but only clear saliva spat out of your mouth.

Your kneecaps suddenly softened, your grip around the sink’s rim was your remaining support to keep yourself from falling to the ground. Suddenly, you felt an arm coil around your waist and a hand rubbing across your back.

“Hey,” your husband cooed. “Are you okay?”

You sniffled, washing away the dribble on your nose, but you didn’t answer.

“Are you hurting?” he continued.

“I keep feeling sick,” you sobbed, rubbing the bridge of your nose as you try to fight back the tears. “Merrin’s potion works, but only for the cramps.”

Anxiety was also a constant in your visits to the bathroom during the wee hours. You hated yourself for stressing out on bad dreams, you always had to bite your knuckles when breaking down to muffle out the cries behind the bathroom door.

Swallowing the lump in your throat did little in repressing your tears, some droplets escaped your eyes, Cal spotted them instantly and wiped them away with his thumb.

“It’s okay, I’ll stay with you until you feel like sleeping,” he consoled as he guided you out of the bathroom when you were ready.

“You don’t have to do this, you need to go back to sleep,” you gently scolded.

“You’re my wife,” he said firmly, a steely yet gentle look in his eyes glinted. “I’ll be here for you. Anything you need, okay?”

You hoisted and folded your legs, leaning against Cal’s shoulder as you try to calm yourself down. He feels for your stomach again, speaking to his unborn child through his mind.

Don’t give Mommy a hard time, sweetheart. He prayed as his lips nuzzled your temple while stroking your hair.

Two more months have passed. It’s the fifth month now, your belly had grown significantly. The morning sicknesses have seemed to lessen as time went on, however, in exchange it has become a little bit more difficult to move. The weight that you carried along with you has become more apparent; but that didn’t matter to you, all you could think about is the baby and you looked forward to its kicking. You and Cal sat together in the couch by the holotable, he now uses both hands to hold your stomach and found that they could no longer contain your belly.

“Oh, there’s a little kick,” he giggled.

You bobbed your head to the side, leaning against your own arm as you stare at Cal. You didn’t even realize that he must have shaved his stubble for just a little bit. Your knuckles stroked his beard and then your skin suddenly felt the smoothness of his freckled cheeks; his lips followed to where your palm is and nuzzled in for a kiss. When turned to you, his smile dissolved when he spotted a tear that you yourself didn’t even notice.

“Something the matter?”

“I’m a little scared, a little nervous. I mean… I’m so close now, Cal. I don’t even know if I—”

“Hey, you’re gonna be great,” he cuts in. He gingerly caressed your nape, fingernails raking the bottom of your hair, “I promise.”

He leaned closer to plant a long and tender kiss on your forehead. He kept his hands on your tummy, feeling for his baby, and he started guessing.

“It’s definitely a boy,” he beamed. “A kick that hard? Definitely.”

“Oh-ho, so someone’s gonna take your title of being the ‘One Who Kicks Ass’ in the Mantis?” you played along.

“Aww, he’s gonna have to get through me to steal my crown!”

[ziracona]

I reread your bit about rin in the last chapter and oh my god im crying. You did my girl justice. I'm so proud of her and i'm glad she had fun. I love the thought that she's helping him in little ways. ;') and oh my god. i love the myers siblings. Do you mind if I ask for hcs? because oooohhhmygod. need more

Awww thank you so much! I really liked the Adam-Rin segment too. I wanted to talk about Rin, but being an Onryo made it so I just couldn’t feasibly in the bulk of the story. Really glad I still got to give her her moment in the sun. : ) Adam’s such a great dude too, and I’m so happy he found meaning the way he did and keeps up such an active and deep relationship with someone who’s passed on. It’s not an easy thing to do, but I think it’s kind, and meaningful. And sure! I’m not sure if you mean Laurie and Mikey or Judith too since I got a few Judith asks yesterday, but ima assume this is ILM related and you’re looking for post-fic Laurie & Michael (sorry if that’s not the intended ask TuT). I did more but this is already a lot so I didn’t post them all haha. Here you go!

Laurie would be very unlikely to make the first move in a romantic relationship. She’s so used to prioritising survival, even when she’s okay again her brain is always, “keep homeostasis” as her directive, and adding a relationship does not fall under that listing. That said, she definitely still develops feelings, and would want things to happen. But I think it would be slow. I think with Laurie, she’d be going to lunches and having long talks and drinks and staying up and falling asleep on the couch together, in and out like each others’ presence belongs in their respective homes, come to each other for support and with hard days and for life advice, go to the theatre together and let them buy her a drink like they always do without being asked, brought back a nice gift from a trip, she waits up for them to get home to greet them, for like 1-3 years solid before one day they just take her hand and kind of smile and she realises she’s been in a relationship for two years and they just never said it, and maybe they won’t now, maybe not for another two years, but they know it, and she’s so happy.

Michael never cuts his hair short, but does not mind Laurie making him let her give him ponytails when they’re working on something, because it does get in his face.

Laurie softballs Michael for a while, since, well, she’s trying to help him reintegrate into society as a human being after having had a childhood that was basically just a 15 year stretch of psychological trauma, and being kind and supportive is a must. But after a few years, she’s gotten much more comfortable and sibling-ish in her interactions. She’ll definitely still be serious and supportive if anything happens and he needs it, but she’ll also give him shit for eating her food or not getting up off the bed she’s trying to make. He enjoys annoying her and does it for fun. Will hold eye contact and eat the cupcake she was saving just to watch her flip, like a cat batting an orange off a counter (or, you know, a sibling who’s feeling /that/ vibe rn.)

Laurie is 99% of Michael’s impulse control. If he and Quentin do something together without her, it /will/ be a disaster, because where Laurie inflicts neutral levels of chaos on the group w her lawful, Michael will almost instantaneously get Quentin to swap from lawful to chaos if she’s not there. They will both be fine, but there /will/ be something on fire when she gets back.

Laurie, walking into the house and seeing then throwing objects into a burning wastebasket in the living room: I don’t like what I’m seeing. Bring me up to speed.

Quentin: So, we maybe have illegally destroyed a car—but it’s okay! We had a good reason! Plus, we destroyed the evidence. Let me explain. So, this guy-

Laurie: :/

Michael: *gives her a ‘what’s your problem?’ gesture*

Michael and Laurie physically fight for nostalgia’s sake sometimes (for fun-get exasperated and performatively MMA. They would not actually injure each other).

One time, Laurie and Michael were walking home together from a movie and a guy drove by and whistled at Laurie and said something vulgar, and Michael stepped into the road and smashed the front of his car with his foot. It was beautiful. They did have to flee the scene but Laurie was /gleeful/. The dude in the car saw his gd life flash before his eyes and rethought some life choices.

It is a long time before Michael is willing to take any kind of meds for his psychosis (very understandably), but when Quentin eventually graduates Med school, six or so years later (bless u Jake for forging him some credits), he is willing to try a few given by him. It is not a good or easy couple of months, but he does it.

Michael gets along surprisingly well with the survivors. Most of them are pretty intimidated, but he’s genuinely chill, and they’ve been through weirder shit so 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s like “Welp. This might as well happen.” and accept him in. Meg is a big thot. She’s into Susie and would never cheat and Susie knows this, but Meg will still flirt like crazy with Michael bc it’s her personality, and Michael, who’s never had this ever happen, is /beyond/ confused. Every time she says something stupid like, “Damn you’re tall. If I wasn’t a married woman, I’d climb you like a jungle gym.” He gives her the exact look Sam gives Gollum when he’s dissing potatoes in lotr.

Since she knew his and his family’s whole names and his wife’s face, Laurie tracks down Sujan’s family and tells them everything she can about what happened and how good he was, and what a difference the first person in the realm who was kind to her made.

Michael really enjoys traveling. He’s been cooped up his whole life. Spent 15 years in one little white room, and then 40 in reproductions of Haddonfield in the realm. Really, except for his solo journey from Wisconsin to home, he’s never left the state of Illinois. He goes with the survivor squad on their group trips, once he’s comfortable enough, and is consistently amazed. He’s not a very visibly emotive person, and can’t physically be bc of his psychosis symptoms, but his eyes will get big seeing the northern lights from a platform, and he’ll grab Laurie or Quentin’s wrist & point to make sure they’re seeing it too, and Laurie has never been so happy. After his first trip, he very much looks forward to the annual event.

Dr. Loomis is the only thing Michael as an adult has ever feared. (Obviously all humans feel temporary fear, like if a car comes at you or someone with a gun. But past instantaneous shock-fear, I don’t think Michael has ever been afraid of anyone else). This is based off of canon, because to me Michael reads as scared of him, especially in Halloween 2. He pauses and then retreats from Loomis in the first film, and when he sees Loomis running down streets looking for him in 2, he hides (I actually really love the Michael pov in Halloween 2 in the open. It was very humanising). Then, at the end of 2, when he’s blind and Laurie and Loomis have filled the room with ether, and Loomis tells him it’s over, he stops trying to find and kill Loomis and freezes. I genuinely think because he was scared of Loomis and has been for years (after that treatment constantly in isolation as a child, how could he not be?) and has known since he was 6 Loomis wants to kill him, so when he basically says “I’m about to kill you,” he believes him and it scares him. It’s the axe that’s been waiting to drop since he was a kid.

Laurie goes to cons with Nea, Quentin, & Min occasionally, and has dressed up as all three OG Star Wars protagonists like the lovely huge nerd she is. Has also made Michael sit down and watch all the movies w her.

Michael and Laurie go visit Judith a lot. They’ll pack a picnic lunch and talk with her and about her at her grave. It was very hard the first time they went there, especially for Michael, but after a while, it helps. It’s a way to deal with what was done in the past that makes it seem surmountable. It also helps to deal with the loss of someone they both cared for. When they go, Laurie always gets Michael to tell her something about her older sister she hast heard yet. David tracks down an old high school album from 1963, and is able to get three pictures of Judith colorised and they’re able to have a nice full-color photo of her to hang up in the house.

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Out Of The Woods (1/?)

This multi chap fic has been one that I've wanted to write for a while. I'm hoping to connect a few loose ends, since my series is getting closer to the end. Don't worry, I still got a couple of fics left in me. I'd love to thank @xerxezra whose conversations with me are always inspirational. I'd also like to thank @dorkydisappointment whose writing got my creative juice flowing.

References to the woman in the journal is from What You Found Amongst The Pages.

In this fic the reader tries to uncover the mystery of the artist behind Zeta-7s portrait.

__________________

Chapter 1: A Glimpse Of The Past

For some time, Rick had been looking forward to taking you here; to the middle of nowhere, in the northwest, where enormous pine trees lined the roads, and evergreens could be found as far as the eye could see. Initially, you weren't sure what you were expecting. A Bob Ross worthy getaway perhaps? Maybe, though unlike the paintings done on PBS, there were gas stations and convenience stores which broke the harmony of trees, roads, and sky; as few and far between they were.

The drive itself was fantastic, and the surrounding area was nice, though you had little to no cell phone reception. And since you couldn't pass the time exploring the weird parts of Reddit, you stared out the window while Zeta-7 sang along to silly travel tunes; the kind that kids would enjoy, but we're actually music recommendations from Tall Morty; another good Rick. You giggled when he sang ‘He had high apple pie, in the sky hopes’, but he didn't seem to mind, he was excited.

However, you were curious as to why Google maps couldn't find the address to the place you two were going to, but Rick seemed to know the directions. Honestly, as long as it wasn't like anything you'd saw in Gravity Falls, then it was going to be fine.

____________

“W-we're here.”

Nope. This couldn't be right. Jumping out of the passenger's seat, you were taken aback and a bit creeped out by the amount of moose statues and decorations which surrounded the place as though to protect it. Could they be part of the security system perhaps? And if they were, was it generally safe to even be here?

“We are? Really?”

“Y-you bet.”

Before your thoughts ran away with the idea, you turned towards him. “Rick, do you need any help with the luggage?”

Opening a portal, he stepped through carrying all the luggage, then reappeared in front of you a few seconds later. “No, it's - I already took care if it.”

It was just like him to be one step ahead of you. How unfair. “Rick, I could've helped you know. I'd hate for you to hurt yourself.”

“True,” he admitted matter of factly. “but if I didn't do it, then I couldn't d-do this.”

To which he then took your hand and pressed a soft kiss on it. “I-I needed to make sure you had a warm hand t-to hold. It's cooler out here th-then it is back home. ”

You gave him a playful shove in return, which made him laugh wholeheartedly before he went on explaining the brief history of this place all the while giving your hand a light squeeze.

The moose lodge, as it was named, looked more like a tacky cabin at the edge of the woods instead of the forgotten shack amidst a family of trees. It was located almost two hours away from the nearest town, and the easiest way to get there was by taking a single dirt road right off the state road twenty miles back; both of you agreed that using his portal gun would've been more convenient. The house itself used to belong to an old colleague of his, but Rick bought it a few decades ago and used it when he wanted to get away from the city, and think about life and so forth; as well as paint. Walking up the steps, he commented, “I-I know it's not much,” unlocking the front door with a moose-shaped key. “but I hope y-you'll like it.”

You really didn't want to tell him that the place looked like a tourist trap, but he stood there, waiting for your approval, nibbling on his bottom lip.

Oh, you didn't like the overwhelming amount of moose decorations, but you smiled nonetheless. “I'm sure I will. I mean, I guess I didn't know what I was expecting, but at least it will be peaceful. Right?”

“Th-that's right.”

Whatever opinions you held about the exterior design, the interior was a different story. When he opened the door, your senses were invaded by the scent of old paint and aged wood, with hints of pine and decades-old smoke. Following right after him, you gasped at the sight of the walls; each inch of wall space covered with paintings. There were scenes and landscapes, hidden figures in the brush, creatures you couldn't begin to describe, flowers, trees, and anything which had and might still be alive; his own private art gallery. With a few clicks on his phone, the curtains opened up, allowing the light to chase away the shadows.

And when the light settled on a particular painting, you walked past him, towards the furthest wall, nearest to the master bedroom, where a large painting hung above the fireplace; it was a portrait of him, done in the romanticism style. “Oh my God. Rick, that's…. did you paint that? I can't believe it, it's amazing.”

“N-n-no, I didn't paint th-that one, but I-I wish I did.”

You found it hard to believe because it captured his essence so perfectly. It was of his form illuminated by the mid-afternoon light, kneeling next to a flowerbed, holding an unopened rose, kissing it gently as though to bless it. His hands were covered in dirt, and his loose fitted, round-collared shirt allowed for a few chest hairs to peek out. As always, when he was around his plants, he was in this trance-like, reverent state; the quintessence of his being; peaceful and alluring in the fact that he didn't seem so broken. The closer you stood to this work of art, the more you felt as though you were staring at a historical figure rather than a throwback photo of your boyfriend.

The posture featured you'd seen him do on multiple occasions, when he took a moment to meditate, appreciating the beauty of life, and all once, you were envious of the one who got to see him this way, taking their sweet time, appreciating the inner beauty of this soft, tender, but complex man. It also reminded you that Zeta-7 had been young once, and handsome even though he thought otherwise. Touching your shoulder lightly, he sighed. “I-I know. Time hasn't been kind t-t-to me.”

“What are you talking about? You look great, but I can't believe this is the first time I'm seeing this. It's gorgeous.”

“Gee, that's - th-thank you.”

“When was this done? You look so young there.”

“Hohoho, not - not that young. It um - it was painted a-about thirty years ago, by a very good friend of-of mine.”

A good friend? Rick didn't have many good friends. “Were they an artist?” you wondered.

Scratching the back of his neck, he avoided your gaze. “While she'd never claim t-t-to be, I thought she was. I um - why don't y-you make yourself comfortable while I make us s-something t-to eat.”

She? You had many other questions you wanted to ask, but knowing him and how he changed the subject, it seemed that that was the end of that; for now. “Okay,” you acquiesced, determined to bring it up at the first opportunity. “but can I pick any room I want?”

“Out of the two bedrooms? Sure g-go ahead.”

__________________

After a simple dinner, you two went for a walk. There was a slight chill in the air, but thankfully you had a sweater and a warm hand to hold as you two followed the trail. You were glad to find that you were in better shape than you had anticipated, but that's what adventuring with a mad scientist will do. Here and there he found mushrooms which he took note of to return for later, and at some point, you climbed a tree, much to his disbelief, and teased him to come after you; he did, but you received a scolding which he then after profusely apologized for.

Later, after returning, you delighted in a warm bath and thought it would be a good time to unpack. Rick had disappeared somewhere around this time, which made you wonder if he had an underground lab here. Casually, you walked past the living room, with no intention of stopping but that larger than life painting caught your eye again. Unlike the other paintings along the walls, there was no artist signature. Hmm, what a tease the artist must've been.

In comparison, Rick hadn't changed very much over the years, except for the wrinkles of course and well his hair used to be darker. Still, you couldn't help but stare at that painting, envious of this old friend of his he had mentioned. Who was she? Was she beautiful? Did she love him too?

You thought more about it as you unpacked your stuff in the small bedroom next to the art room. It wasn't so far fetched to believe that he could've had his fair share of lovers, but then you had yet to see any feminine influences about his house except for a few treasured belongings of his mother. There was the woman from his journal, but he never brought it up and you had never confessed to having invaded his privacy, so you still weren't at liberty to do so. How was it that after all this time, there was still this bloom of mystery about him? Well, because he was humble and reserved, and only shared information which wouldn't hurt him.

Oh well. You'd have to get over it someday, but was it so wrong to be jealous of someone you never met?

TBC

[theshelbyslimited]

I am nervous but so ready for this 🥺😬

"May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old fashioned enough to last forever." I LOVE THIS QUOTE. oh how I yearn for such a love 🥺😭

“Sweetheart, I’m about to pass out, we’re going straight to bed before I die.” I LOVE THE WAY HE IS SO ENAMOURED W YAEL 🥺😭

“I’ve seen this before, a similar situation and the symptoms are almost identical, this doctor has made a few mistakes in the past and has diagnosed incorrectly to other patients. I’m afraid your son has a severe anemia.” oh poor thing 🥺

“You don’t understand!” “This is my payback for lying!” ummm....what?!?!??

“But you left me alone to go to film that series! On my fucking birthday! You didn’t touch me for weeks we had been fighting a lot and I went out to have fun to a club and a young man invited me a drink and he was really sweet and…” “I slept with him just once and three weeks later, I was late on my period, took a test and it was positive… then you decided to break up with me, but I convinced you we should be together one last time and-” YOU LYING FUCKING BITCH. SO NOT ONLY DID YOU CHEAT ON CILLIAN BUT YOU TRICKED HIM TOO?! LET HIM BELIEVE SEAN WAS HIS WHEN HE ISN'T 🤬😭

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t even remember his name and you always wanted to have kids anyway…” WOWWW. THE WAY I WANT TO MURDER THIS BITCH RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

"All of this time they had been fooled by Erin, she made them believe Sean was Cillian’s son for months and even let them fall in love with him, have him over, play with him." IM ABOUT TO CUT A BITCH 🔪🔪🔪

“Look yes, he should’ve but it’s so late for that now, in the moment he did what he felt right and it was only his decision to make.” I sympathize so much w Cillian + Yael but I do agree w Pad that he should've done the paternity test to give himself full + medically confirmed certainly 😔

"What about the photos she framed of little instants filled with love." "That baby had stolen her heart in an instant, every time Cillian was holding his son, he seemed to be the happiest man on earth." MY HEART IS SO BROKEN 😭

“Violet? I just wanted to ask you if you still need things for your baby?” “It’s practically unused, but I don’t have the original boxes. I have a car seat, pram, diapers, crib, well everything.” THIS HURTS SO BAD. I'm glad Yael is giving it to someone who needs it rather than just throwing it away, but it still hurts that they have to give the stuff away regardless 😔😭

“Yael? Thank you, from the bottom of my heart I was going through a difficult path and you can’t even imagine how much this means to me.” AW. bless you Violet 🥺

"Yael felt more emotional than before after learning that her cousin was short of money, but at least the things that belonged once to Sean would be used by someone who needed them. Everything was practically new, there was no use of throwing everything to the trash." MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY 🥺

“I’d like to be alone.” I AM IN PAINNN.

the disclaimer at the beginning rly didn't prepare me for the heartbreak that was this chapter. although I wanted Erin to be gone, I didn't want them to have to deal w Sean being taken away from them. I hope that in someway, he can still be apart of their family even though the painful truth of Erin's lies and deceit has been revealed. I AM SO HEARTBROKEN RIGHT NOW 😭

The Photoshoot-Part 36

Series Masterlist

Cillian Murphy

⚠️ Súper angst, cheating.

✨ This is probably the hardest part I will ever write for this story, it took me the whole week to complete it because I literally couldn’t get around to write this down… but when I asked you to vote, you made a choice 🤷🏻‍♀️ so here it is.

Thank you @peakypoet /Selene for making this beautiful header ♥️

“I’m sorry, the bus got stuck in traffic.” Yael rushed inside, it was only meant to be a quick trip to give her client the printed photos of her shooting, but she spent almost hours instead.

Scout greeted her wriggling his tail and she couldn’t resist opening the bag of treats she just got for him, he devoured it in a matter of seconds, she then heard a soft voice coming from the reading room.

“Don’t tell Dad I gave you two.” Petting Scout on the head, she tiptoed until the sight of her husband laying on the couch welcomed her; a script on his hands, glasses on the bridge of his nose, his hair drastically shorter now, the mustache gone, this was a completely different person from the last role when he played Chris.

“I heard that.”

Sometimes Yael had the impression that she was married to someone with different personalities.

“You finally convinced Erin to let us babysit Sean?” She changed the topic, while Scout was licking the evidence of the treat.

Opening his arm to her, Yael leaned on her side, hugging Cillian and smelling his scent. She noticed the script on his chest had his own notes in the margins, arrows and words scratched and smiled at the thought of him getting ready for his next role.

“Yeah, we’ll get him this Friday, but he won’t be staying to sleep though, she’ll pick him up around midnight, is that alright?”

“Hmmm.” Yael murmured hiding her face in his neck. “But tomorrow is Friday.”

“Well… yeah, tomorrow then.” His fingertips running gently all over her arm.

“Should we call your brother then? To ask them to come over instead of we going to theirs?”

“Ah shit, I forgot about that dinner…”

Yael giggled he forgot about the important things but somehow remember the silliest.

“Give me twenty minutes and I’m ready to go.”

“Take your time, I’ll take a nap.”

But Yael had different plans.

“I found some barre classes love! I start next week.” He followed her upstairs.

“Ba-what?”

Coming out from their closet, Yael laughed. “Barre… it’s a modern version of ballet, for adults.”

Cillian smirked. “Does it mean I’ll get to see you wearing pink tights and a tutu?”

Doing a ballet twirl, she stopped. “No, we don’t wear a tutu.”

“And what’s that called?” His finger did the twirl movement, imitating her.

“You’re just teasing me!” Yael smacked his arm playfully.

“No, please I fucking adore you.”

Taking her hand, Cillian made her do another twirl and then, letting out a happy sigh his arms circled her waist, pulling her body close until their lips locked. Yael pulled away after one short kiss, only to come back for one quick peck and she moved away again with a smile. Cillian’s eyes were on her mouth, she had that lipstick color he loved. He just couldn’t resist to taste them one more time until Yael stopped him.

“I know what you’re doing.” Shaking her head to brush away the effect he had on her, Yael walked out of the room.

“We don’t have to go.”

But of course, she wouldn’t let him skip dinner at their friend’s house.

As they entered Gary’s house, their friends started to play the nuptial song.

“And that’s the face of a couple who can’t get their hands off each other.”

“I’m sorry we missed your wedding.” Rebecca apologized giving them a hug.

“Don’t worry, we know it was a short notice.” Yael greeted the girls and their husbands. They have been friends with Cillian since they were in high school, and they usually held their reunions with their couples.

“It was beautiful.” Marie admitted.

“Why didn’t we do that?” Gary complained to his wife. “That was a fun wedding.”

“Hey, slow down stallion, you know you could actually die from too much sex?” Clyde advised.

Cillian let out the loudest laugh Yael had ever heard.

“No seriously.”

“That’s not true Clyde.”

“Don’t listen to him, Lisa will scold him later.”

Yael chuckled at Dianne’s comment.

Then, she added in a low voice: “you know what we say… the only thing I need to make hard is his cock, not his life. And the only thing he needs to make wet is my pussy, not my eyes.”

A chorus of Amens was heard among the girls. It was such a rich group, some older, some youngers, some of them had children, others didn’t, some were a stay at home mums, some had their own successful business. Yael really liked them all. And as a new wife, she could use an advice or two.

“I brought canapés and Cill’s mac and cheese.” Yael announced.

“Fabulous! Let me put it in the oven.”

Looking over her shoulder, she found Cillian looking at her. He winked at her and a smile spread on her lips.

“How’s the baby?” Miles asked him handing his friend a cold beer. He announced that Dermot wouldn’t be able to make it on time.

“He’s alright, he had some allergy, but it’s all good now.”

“Cilly you really have the best luck, you don’t get to go through all the trouble with the mama, the feeding…”

“Yeah but-”

“Man the diapers, I hated them so much.” Clyde confirmed.

It was an incredible group, some of them had been married for a while, they’ve been through a lot; divorces, kids, in laws, different personalities, job careers, Yael had grown close to them as they all welcomed her with open arms.

“Mary-Anne almost walked in on us the other day.” Marie confessed embarrassed.

“She walked in.” Gary, her husband corrected her from the hallway.

Looking at Cillian, Yael sighed thinking how they didn’t have to deal with any of that for now. It could be a bit overwhelming to listen to someone else’s troubles or advices, there were so many different opinions.

“I know how you’re feeling, like you don’t fit.” Ella smiled at her, she didn’t have kids yet either. “I’m sorry we didn’t go to your wedding.”

She then gave her a decorative sign with the best marriage advice:

May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old fashioned enough to last forever.

“Ella! I love it.” Yael gave her a hug, it would look incredible on the table next to the door, to remember the words everyday.

Yael assured her it was alright, but there was something else in Ella’s eyes, so they decided to go for a walk to the garden, where her friend finally opened up to her.

“We had a miscarriage two months ago and I still can’t feel like my old self again.” Her eyes were filled with tears and Yael didn’t know what was the right thing to say.

“I’m sorry.” Yael apologized quietly, Ella was kind to her since the beginning, reserved, but a nice person. “It must be so hard for you and Darren.”

“He’s devastated.”

She then went on to tell Yael of the thought that it was her fault, for not taking care of their baby. Feeling sad for their loss, Yael tried to comfort Ella the best way she could, even though there aren’t a lot of things you can tell to someone going through something like that.

“You’re so quiet tonight, everything alright?” Cillian asked later that night while they were driving back home. His hand started caressing one of her tights.

Coming back to reality after his words, Yael looked at her husband and just by that simple action, a smile started to form back on her lips.

“Yeah, just thinking how lucky I’m to have you.” In a sweet motion, she kissed his cheek as he stopped the mini in the garage. “I saw Darren a bit disconnected, don’t you think? Maybe you could go out with him or something?”

Cillian seemed to think about it for a second. “Now that you mention it, I think he was a bit off. I’ll call him tomorrow, maybe he has trouble at work.”

“And speaking about trouble…” As he closed the door, she started to unbutton the front of her dress. “Look at what I did to my wedding dress.”

Yael then revealed her one-piece white undergarment; partly made of the dress she wore for their wedding.

It took Cillian a while to recover from that sight. It was something he wanted to keep in his memory forever.

“Do you like it?” Yael asked shooting him an innocent look.

“Sweetheart, I’m about to pass out, we’re going straight to bed before I die.”

Laughing, she added: “Please don’t, I need you alive and working properly.”

“Can you wear this every night?” She was always surprising him.

———

“I texted Dermot to let him know Sean’s wearing the gift he gave us.”

Cillian informed his wife as she came down from an edit session in the attic, she needed to print the photos to then ship them.

“That was a lovely set.” She stole some cheese from the board while he went to the fridge to get something.

“If you can, could you snap a photo?” Yael nodded after stealing some more cheese and as she took the basket where Sean was sleeping, she saw something that she didn’t like.

“Cill come here, I don’t like Sean’s color, he’s a bit yellow.” Moving the baby close to the window to use the natural light, Cillian realized she was right.

Sean was sleeping and skipped his feeding time, but he didn’t think that wasn’t strange.

“Let’s go to the hospital, yeah?”

Turning off the stove, Yael took the baby’s bag and as they were walking out of the house, his brother and wife, Elise arrived.

“What’s going on?” Paidi asked.

“We’re taking Sean to the hospital, take the keys.” Cillian threw the keys to his brother and drove as fast as he could to the nearest hospital.

“I’m calling his doctor, do you want to call Erin?” Yael asked from the back seat.

“No, let’s get him checked over first.”

Once they entered the emergency wand, they were asked a lot of questions by the nurses, talking of terms they knew nothing about. They were running some blood tests first and vitals.

A man around Cillian’s father age approached them, asking about the name of Sean’s doctor, but their worries didn’t fade away as the man started shaking his head.

“I’ve seen this before, a similar situation and the symptoms are almost identical, this doctor has made a few mistakes in the past and has diagnosed incorrectly to other patients. I’m afraid your son has a severe anemia.” Dr. McMillan stated firmly.

“God, why didn’t we know about this?” Yael asked more to herself than anything.

Cillian was speechless. Still trying to process the preliminar diagnose.

“Anemia in babies can be a bit confusing, but if his doctor decided to just assume it was an allergy to the formula, there was no way you could know.”

“What do we do now?” He finally asked crossing his arms.

“This is just a first diagnose, I need the results, but it’s more probable than not.” He looked between them. “If that’s the case, I’d suggest a blood transfusion right away and see how Sean reacts.”

“I can donate as much as it’s needed.”

As the doctor left them a moment, Yael turned to her husband.

“You need to call Erin first.”

“Love, the transfusion could make him better.”

“If you do it without her permission, you’re going to get in trouble, just tell her.”

Mumbling in agreement, she saw him taking his phone and walking away, probably outside in case the conversation scaled. Taking a seat in the waiting area, she decided to text Elise, they could stay over their house and have dinner by themselves.

The waiting was terrible, they were both feeling helpless as they heard Sean’s cries while he got checked, his little face was red and cheeks wet from the tears.

“What did you do?!” Erin stormed in no long after, trying to take Sean into her arms.

The doctor looked between the three of them and started to share his diagnosis with the mother of the baby.

“They brought him here on time, we were-” someone interrupted them announcing they had the results. “Come to my office, please.” He instructed them, he needed to be careful because one of the women was the biological mother of the baby while the other had genuine concern in her eyes. “My preliminar diagnose was correct.”

“What caused this? Was it something we did wrong?” Cillian needed to know.

“There are a lot of factors involved, prematurity, malnutrition…”

“How will you contra rest it?” Yael asked but immediately, she regretted speaking, she wasn’t the mother.

“Good news is this is a treatable condition. I’d suggest changing your pediatrician and the baby’s diet.”

“Is he going to be alright?” Cillian asked, he was extremely worried, Yael was holding his hand.

A small glimpse of relief appeared as the doctor nodded. “I’d like to start with a blood transfusion as soon as possible but you need to fill some forms.”

“I’ll sign everything you need.” Cillian assured looking at Erin, who had been very quiet. “Right?”

Yael titled her head as she saw color fading away from Erin’s face. “Can you give me a moment doctor?” She finally spoke.

Yael was about to leave the room as well, but Cillian stopped her.

“What is it, Erin?”

“I don’t know how to say this…”

Time was passing by extremely slow, Cillian was losing his patience.

“But I can’t keep this going on, this is all my fault.” She looked worn out.

Cillian shook his head, “you heard the doctor, these things are common bu-”

“You don’t understand!” She snapped, tears falling down. “This is my payback for lying!”

Yael got tense, what was she talking about?

“But you left me alone to go to film that series! On my fucking birthday! You didn’t touch me for weeks we had been fighting a lot and I went out to have fun to a club and a young man invited me a drink and he was really sweet and…” Yael’s head was spinning, Cillian had his eyes fixed on Erin. “I slept with him just once and three weeks later, I was late on my period, took a test and it was positive… then you decided to break up with me, but I convinced you we should be together one last time and-”

“Enough!” Suddenly everything clicked in Cillian’s mind.

“Are you crazy?! Why would you do that?” Yael couldn’t believe what she just heard.

“Erin what did you do?” Her mother joined them scandalized.

“That’s why you were so offended when I suggested the DNA test, right? You made me feel bad about it so you could get it your way.”

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t even remember his name and you always wanted to have kids anyway…”

Erin’s father was quiet in a corner, processing the bomb she just dropped.

Yael had never seen Cillian so out of character, so angry, he was furious, he wasn’t a violent man, but given the circumstances she tried to push him out.

“I almost gave up on him because of you!” Yael was hurt as well by the lies. “He can’t do this, but I can.”

And with that, she gave Erin a hard slap on the face, with all her anger and frustrating, she just wanted to protect Cillian. Her palm was still tingling by the force of the contact by the time she reached their car. Storming outside seconds later, she deserved much more than a slap.

“Let me drive, love.” She tried to show him her support.

“I’m fine.” He replied in a serious voice tone while moving in the parking lot.

“Cillian you’re sho”

“I said I’m fucking fine!” He raised his voice and slammed his hand on the wheel, making Yael jump on her seat, she decided to remain quiet for the rest of their way back home.

It felt as if both of them were doing everything on automatic, like they were living a nightmare.

All of this time they had been fooled by Erin, she made them believe Sean was Cillian’s son for months and even let them fall in love with him, have him over, play with him.

It took Erin months to build the lie, but within seconds the truth was revealed.

And now they were childless, Sean was gone, taken away from their lives.

There was an emptiness in their hearts that they couldn’t put into words.

Arriving back home, Cillian immediately went upstairs, not stopping to answer his brother’s questions, he was holding Connor, his son.

“This is really not a good time, sorry.” Yael apologized.

“What happened?” Elise looked confused, they had been waiting to hear back from Sea‘s status.

If it was hard to comprehend, it was harder to explain.

“You were right, Pad… she lied to us, Erin just told us she had a one night stand and got pregnant.”

They were as shocked as she was.

“He should’ve done the paternity test.” Paidy stated.

“Look yes, he should’ve but it’s so late for that now, in the moment he did what he felt right and it was only his decision to make.”

As she finished saying that, a loud bang was heard upstairs, so she waved them goodbye and rushed to find Cillian with the night stand lamp mid-air, ready to throw it against the crib, the changing station was already on the floor.

“Cillian stop! You’re not like this.” Taking the lamp in her hands, she placed it on the floor. Then, her hands were on his face. “This is not your fault, she played her game until guilt took over. But you won’t take back time by destroying everything.”

His arms went around her waist while he tried to suppress a loud sob, his legs gave in and Yael had to support his weight as they went down.

It was heartbreaking to see him crying like that, his shoulders were shaking, the sounds of his nose sniffing as he tried to control himself. Yael was holding him tight against her chest.

“It’s going to be alright.” She whispered not knowing when or how, she just wanted him to feel that she was there for him.

And she broke down in tears after feeling him crying, she wanted to be strong for him, but she couldn’t.

It felt as if the walls were closing around them.

What could she possibly say to Cillian to make him feel better?

Untangling his body from hers, he got up and without looking back he spoke: “I don’t want to see any of this tomorrow. Make sure it’s gone or I’ll throw it away.”

Still sitting on the floor, Yael looked around the room, she had put so much effort in every detail she used in Sean’s room, even though he wouldn’t be staying to sleep, she wanted to make the baby feel welcomed, that he had his own space, she had painted the walls in a beautiful baby blue color, hanged frames, hand painted some clouds and stars and used a gorgeous paper wall.

What about the photos she framed of little instants filled with love.

What she supposed to do with everything?

She would have to pretend that Sean never existed.

That baby had stolen her heart in an instant, every time Cillian was holding his son, he seemed to be the happiest man on earth.

Her phone was ringing downstairs, but she didn’t feel like dealing with anyone right now, instead she walked to the laundry room to get some boxes to start disassembling everything.

“Violet? I just wanted to ask you if you still need things for your baby?” She closed the box with all the blankets and clothes.

“How?”

“It’s practically unused, but I don’t have the original boxes. I have a car seat, pram, diapers, crib, well everything.”

“Yael…”

She heard her cousin breaking in tears. “What’s the matter Vi?”

“You’re an angel sent from heaven, Jan quit his job to start a business on his own and things aren’t working out, we’re so short of money right now and I still don’t have everything.” She could hear baby Noah crying in the background, he was about to turn three months soon, the last time she saw her cousin was at her wedding in March, she was still a few weeks away to give birth.

“Well, now you will have everything you need, we just need to figure out a way to move the furniture.”

“Jan knows someone that works at the ferry’s, let me ask him.”

“Fabulous! I’m going to pack everything for you.”

“Yael? Thank you, from the bottom of my heart I was going through a difficult path and you can’t even imagine how much this means to me.”

“Happy to help babe, I’ll take the boxes to the post office tomorrow.”

“Really I was doing the bloody diapers like grandma used to do made by cloth and washing them because I can’t afford the boxes.”

Yael had to laugh at that, thinking of the challenges her cousin must be going through.

“Well, now you’ll get a good amount of disposable diapers.”

“Thank you, you saved my life.”

Sighing after they hang up, Yael felt more emotional than before after learning that her cousin was short of money, but at least the things that belonged once to Sean would be used by someone who needed them. Everything was practically new, there was no use of throwing everything to the trash.

Looking around the room she had a lot of work to do and she needed to take her mind off that horrible moment, her heart couldn’t comprehend how someone could hold a lie for so long like Erin did.

But she was also worried about Cillian, he had been locked in the basement for hours, probably didn’t want any kind of company at the moment, nevertheless she prepared him a cup of tea.

Joining him downstairs, Yael couldn’t stop the heartache she felt when she looked into his eyes.

“Talk to me Cill?”

“What do you want me to say? She fucked me over.” His gaze was lost.

“No, don’t let this change your kind heart. You’re better than this.” She tried to make him feel better, while also trying to comfort herself.

How do you let go of someone who was never even yours anyways?

“I’d like to be alone.”

[tristinleighhh]

✨☀️ my heart & soul are so full.

This was truly the best experience of my life. Envision is something else. I danced and sweat out every negative energy that I had stored away before I came here. I feel like a new person..

🌊 I loved the whole vibe of the Uvita area. Everyone was so nice. I've missed the salty air in my hair and on my lips. Being surrounded by the jungle and the ocean is a euphoric feeling. 🐟 I ate a lot of good fish outside the festival and I am definitely missing it. I loved the fresh fruits and coconuts everywhere 🥥🌴🍍🍌🍓

🏕️ our air b&b was just a couple minutes away from the festival and our host Jose was the nicest human ever. He was constantly making sure everything was perfect for us and coming back to get sleep in the ac was prime. I'm very glad we did that. Cabinas yuriel 💛💚❤️☁️

🐳 we went on a whale watching tour and we're blessed to see a male and a mama and her baby playing around! Humpback whales are my flavorite animal and I haven't seen them since I was in Hawaii so it was an epic treat.

🌄Then Dan and I watched our last Costa Rican sunset for the trip and took a nice stroll home. On the way we saw a sloth in the tree, a crazy poisonous snake and a gnarly looking centipede. 🐍🌙

I have fallen in love with envision and everything it stands for and for the beautiful country of Costa Rica. I will be back there's no doubt about that. I want to explore everything. Thankful for this trip and all the lessons learned and friends I met along the way. Until next time 🥥✨ Pura Vida ✨🥥

✨ Top Envision Moments & Music ✨

🔥 the sunset and fire spinners on the beach with the drum circle. I had hoped to spin some fire down there but I'll be a little more prepared next time.. you walk up the path onto the beach and you are met with various vendors with cool bones and jewelery, cheap beer and food as you emerge into a sea of people on the sand. The sky was on fire and the vibes were hiiiigh. The drum circle was tribal and euphoric. Looking around me being surrounded by jungle and ocean and beautiful people was straight bliss.

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🍄 seeing Paul staments talk about mushrooms. I only caught one but it was so cool to hear him share his stories and experiences with us.

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🍽️💦the dishcoteque

The waste at this festival was pretty much non existent. It always makes me sad how people can leave a place so destroyed and covered in trash. I had to pick up no trash from the ground and all the volunteers who were picking up trash barely had anything in their buckets. When you got food at any vendor here you received an actual dish, bowl, silverware or cup. When you were done you'd bring it to the "dishcoteque" and recieve a voucher for your next one. No plastic at all barely any paper products besides some paper straws .. the bathrooms also did not have toilet paper in them.. you had to get it from the outside and bring it with you so they were not overflowing with paper and and overuse of products.

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✨🎨✨ the art & the stages

There was so much phenomenal art. I was blown away by the murals everywhere and the art gallery was bursting with talent and creative energy.

The bars and booths were all made from the materials surrounding them. Everything was made from the earth. The Sol stage was surrounded by a beautiful design with a big screen in the back that had really awesome visuals on it

The lapa stage was filled with house n deep techno vibes all day and night. It felt like something out of an epic movie in there with all the mist and the lights. The entrance to the beach was right there too. It was a great place to go to just dance and chill out.  And finally... The Luna stage. W o w. The most incredible stage I've EVER seen in my life and I've seen quite a few cool stage setups. It was a huge tower of Earth and wood and vines and beauty. There was a portal where people danced behind. The lighting was a1 from the lasers to the mapping on the funktions. It was truly other worldly there.  I will be riding the high of that stage for a long time. There was water refill stations in all the right spots which made staying hydrated in the jungle heat so easy.

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🌮🍓🍦🥑🥙 the food

It's usually hard for me to eat at festivals lately because I don't eat meat anymore. Chicken fingers was always a go to for me but I've sadly become very picky. Everyone was pretty accommodating to my needs ( I wish I thought about asking for no cilantro before the last day 😞 I hate that shit )and everything was so nourishing and healthy. I have not been eating well lately and I feel so nice and full after all the smoothies and juicy goodness I ingested over the weekend.

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🕷️ the huge tarantula like spider that happened to wander through the crowd of people dancing with the bass vibrating the floor and onto our blanket. It was SO BIG how did you even make it through the crowd?! Stealthy dude. That was wild.

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☕🍵The tea party!

I went to the bathroom and I came across a tiny but huge tea party. Everyone had tea cups along a very small rectangle table/stool and they were singing jungle tea time jungle tea time and cheersing to life it was so cute

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🎭🤸‍♀️🔥💃 the performers...

Wow. I haven't seen performances like that ever. Every collective blew my mind they all had a vibe of their own and absolutely slayed it on stage. Serious inspiration

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🎶🔊 the music

Every set was so good. Nothing was like oh that was cool .. everything i was was so we'll put together and everyone definitely out out jungle vibes.

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I'll just put this first in case you don't want to read all the way cause this was my flavorite part 💓

👽 Tipper 👽

This was my 30th show.. in the jungle...and the Luna stage couldn't have been any better. He played so many fat unreleased tracks and vips I have never heard before. Serious deep jungle vibes. I can honestly say that was my flave set I've seen by him so far. There were no visuals but I was so okay with that. the lights were so on point and the performers were so freaking good and well paired with what he was putting out. I am sooooo freaking thankful for that experience and to have had it with all my tipper family. This community has Brought me all over the country and now out of the US. I am constantly overstimulated and it's just getting more intense as I get older so traveling can be difficult for me. The high energy if the airport is a lot for me. Music festivals are even a lot for me but I eventually get comfortable..I just love the epic moments of euphoria through music and these experiences that I'll push myself through the rest of it. The way tippers music makes me feel is so worth trooping through a sea of energies to get to that moment. It's truly beautiful for me and I know others feel the same. Blessed to be alive for the making of tipper music

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Thursday

✨ the first real full set of music we saw was jpod.. someone ive never listened to and I'm so glad I know about him now. It was so fun I found all my friends and it was the perfect way to kick off the weekend.

✨Naughty princess was someone I didn't know as well and she threwwwww down a dirty heavy dubstep set. It was proper as fuck and she looked like a boss in the dj booth.

✨Honerable mention to Govinda and an-ten-ae

✨🔮Clozees first set on Friday night was so surreal. Seeing her live is a true experience. It got so heavy and blissful it was by far my flavorite set I've seen from her. She's so humble and cute and beyond excited to be doing this for us. When she plays she emmits such a powerful feminine vibe. The high that gave me was super intense.

✨ Honerable mention to

Stylust beats with the filthy dubstep set

Nico luminous

And attya to close was super smooth

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Saturday

✨ The funk hunters played two sets. The but their Saturday night set on the Luna stage was so fire. They're so fun and energetic

✨ Random rab was so beautiful. Probably the most beautiful performance I've seen by him yet. His voice is absolutely amazing.

✨LAZY SYRUP ORCHESTRA...... If you don't know them please go listen to their sets on SoundCloud. The sun had risen and the people were vibin.. 6am set - ???? It was so freaking good ahhhh words can't even decribes

They're all so talented I want to return to that moment forever.

Going to the beach and jumping in the ocean after that was so freaking cooooooool.

✨Honerable mention to symbolico for throwing down two dope sets & moontricks on the Sol stage

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Sunday

✨ Drrtywulvs ... Wowza. That was so fun and uplifting.. all the booty shaking..I love his music and all the noises. It always makes my body move in the weirdest of ways.

✨SUPERTASK..he's one of my flavorite artists ever and he threw downnnnnnnnn such a dope set in the jungle.

✨ SOOHAN was everything I wanted. His music makes me dance in all the best ways

✨🌄 Clozees played a sunrise set @ 545 and it was beautiful. She was very downtempo and played a lot of slower vibe songs.. it was perfect and blissful.

✨ and finally emancipator. They are forever one of my flavorites. They played at 7 am and closed out the Luna stage with the most magical morning vibes. I feel like they played a lot of new music and it was a perfect way to bring down the high energy from the night

✨Honerable mention to dirtwire on the Sol stage who pulled me out of my funk bc of the rain I love their music so much and Seeing them live is a huge treat.

If you've made it this far thanks for reading! Envision is my new flavorite place and I am already counting down the days until I can go back. ✨🥥