#THIS IS...REALLY SAD AND FUCKED UP OKAY READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

[harringtonstilinski]

Armageddon It - Eddie Munson (Smut)

Author: @harringtonstilinski​ Characters: Eddie Munson x Reader Word Count: 6,537 Warnings: fluff, squint super hard for angst, mentions of a jealous chrissy, Requested: no | yes; i'm gonna say yes on this. it's really a challenge i'm doing with @stevesxyellowxsweater! Smut (Minors DNI): no | yes, 18+; oral (f receiving), protected m+f, let me know if i missed anything A/N: Hi, friends! After about 4 or so months of writing, SHE'S FINALLY HERE!! Also, The Upside Down doesn't exist in this, bye! If you like this, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊

eddie munson masterlist

eddie munson playlist

“Edward Wayne!!”

A smirk crossed your friend's face, his eyes never leaving the neck of his Sweetheart, his guitar. “Yes?”

Your body stood in the doorway of his room, a boisterous laughter coming from the living room. “You’re in fucking trouble.”

“Why is Wayne laughing?” He won’t lie, it was nice hearing his uncle laughing like he was. Eddie hadn’t heard him laugh like that in a long time.

“Because you’re in fucking trouble.”

Chuckling, he set his guitar down. “Okay, sweets. What’s up?”

“Can you please tell me why the hell everyone at that godforsaken video store has asked me about your hips?” Crossing your arms, you gave him the most seriously stern face you could muster, leaning your weight on one of your legs, an eyebrow raised.

Wayne laughed harder, which made Eddie cackle, his head thrown back. “And how were my hips?”

“Eddie!” you chastised. “What the fuck?” Holding your arms out to the side, you scoffed. “Do you realize what people are insinuating?”

“That we’ve had sex?”

“Hey now!” Wayne said. “Let’s not talk like that.” You heard a small squeak before the front door opened. “I’ll sit on the porch if you wanna have that talk.” He chuckled on his way out.

Sitting on his bed with your back facing Eddie, you sighed and dropped your head into your hands. “Eddie! We can’t have people thinking we’re fucking. It’s not right.”

A sort of sad look crossed Eddie’s features, his eyes casting downward, looking at a random spot on the back of your shirt. “I’m sorry, sweets.”

Sighing again, you removed your hands, turning to bring your leg up on the bed, bending it at the knee. Looking at Eddie with a somber look, you took his features. Bringing up a hand, you cupped his cheek, his eyes casting up to look into yours. “It’s okay. I wasn’t expecting it. It literally took me by surprise.”

“Just so you know,” Eddie said, seriousness in his eyes. “I didn’t start that rumor. It had to have been someone else.”

Thinking it over for a moment, you wracked your brain about who could’ve started the rumor, coming to the conclusion with a sigh, dropping your hand to a hard but soft surface as you closed your eyes. “Fucking Cunningham.”

“Chrissy started that rumor?”

Standing from his bed, you started pacing the length of the mattress, hands in your hair. “Jealous fucking ex is what she is. God, I can’t stand her. We’ve been out of school for, what? Two years?”

“You’ve been out for two, I’ve been out for one.”

“Whatever! Gah- I can’t believe she’d want to spread a rumor like that! Who does she think she is?! Miss fucking Priss, is what she is!” You were ranting so fast and almost way too loud that you didn’t notice Eddie standing in front of you until you felt hands on your shoulders, stopping your pacing.

“Hey. Sweets. Calm down. She’s just jealous. She broke up with me because I was apparently spending more time with you than her, remember?” Eddie said, bringing up his hand to brush some hair behind your ear. “No need to freak out.”

“I’m trying,” you sighed. “It’s just hard because I’ve done nothing to her and she’s just… her.”

“Jealous.”

“Hey, kids!” Wayne called out. “You two hungry? It’s almost dinner time.”

Looking off to the side, you thought about it for a moment, realizing that you haven’t eaten in a while. “Yeah, I could eat.” You looked at Eddie, shrugging before turning to walk back down the hallway to the kitchen where Wayne was now standing. “What’cha cooking up, Wayne?”

“Oh, I was thinking of either some burgers or some tacos,” Wayne answered, looking into the refrigerator.

Lightly gasping, your eyes went wide. “Can I help make whatever? I mean, I can actually make whichever one for you.”

“Oh, darlin-”

“Nope,” you said, stepping up to him, placing a hand on his back. “You do a lot for Eddie.”

Wayne grabbed the pack of ground meat from the fridge, placing it on the counter. “You too, darlin’. Don’t forget that.”

“When I’m here. Let me help. Please? You can kick your feet up, watch some tv, drink a beer or two. Just relax, Wayne, please. For me?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes, bottom lip poking out.

The older Munson man just chuckled, reopening the fridge to grab a beer, tilting it at you with that Munson smirk. “You got it. Make whichever one you want. I’m good with either one of them.” Smiling, you said, “Okay,” as your eyes watched him walk to his chair, kicking the foot rest up and deeply sighing. “Eddie!”

“Yes?”

Jumping at how close his voice was, you turned to face him, hand up at your sternum. “Don’t do that.”

“Sorry,” he quietly laughed. “What’s up, sweets?”

“Hamburgers or tacos?” Not waiting for him to answer, you turned on your heel to the cabinet where you knew the spices were kept, humming when you didn’t see any taco seasoning. “Shit. We need taco seasoning.”

“I was gonna say hamburgers, but tacos works, too,” Eddie said, Wayne holding up his beer to add, “I was gonna say the same thing!”

Grabbing your keys from the small kitchen table, you sighed, “You Munson men. I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll go with you. Wayne, care if I go with her?”

“Nope. Just don’t get into trouble,” Wayne replied, eyes glued to the tv that was already on when you had arrived.

“Awesome,” Eddie smiled, turning his head to watch your retreating form move to your car. “Thanks, Wayne.” He quickly walked out of the trailer, calling out your name, your head turning at the sound of his voice. “Let’s take the van. I feel like a giant in your tiny ass car.”

Shaking your head, you snickered, moving around both your car and his van to reach the passenger side door, finding it already open for you, Eddie standing there with his hand out to help you in.

“M’lady.”

“You’re such a dork,” you softly laughed. Once he closed the door and moved around the vehicle, you buckled yourself in, looking at his collection of metal tapes lying everywhere on the van’s floor. When you found one you knew he bought for you, you picked it up and held it up.

“I’m not listening to Pyromania again.”

“It’s not that one. It is Def Leppard, though.”

Eddie sighed, taking the tape from your hand to read the title of the album, looking at you with small distaste. 

“Oh, come on! It has like three of my favorite songs on it!”

“Name them,” he said, turning the case over to look at the track listing on the back.

“Love Bites, Hysteria, and Pour Some Sugar On Me.”

He looked at you for a moment before sighing, “Fuck,” and putting the tape in after ejecting the Dio album he was listening to. Once the songs started to play and you were happy, he backed out of the small front yard to the small bit of road the trailer park provided to drive toward town. “So, I was thinking about something.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Shut up,” he chuckled. “About this rumor. Maybe we should… I don’t know, put it to bed and make it true?”

If you were drinking something, you’d for sure either choke on it or spit it out all over your part of the dashboard. “What?”

“Let’s do it! Let’s make the rumor true.”

“Well, damn, Munson, now every time we hang out, I’m gonna anticipate it.”

“Good,” he said, smirking to himself. He pulled into the parking lot of the local grocery store, the both of you getting out and walking side by side into the store.

As you walked through the aisles, you picked up what you thought you’d need for your meal; taco shells, sour cream, tomatoes to dice up, green onion to chop for garnish and cheese. Once everything was in your arms, you both dropped them onto the conveyor belt at the checkout counter to pay.

Eddie insisted on paying for everything with his ‘business money’, but you told you got it and for him to not worry about it, that it was your treat. When you paid and got your paper bags from the cashier, you both loaded back up in the van and drove back to the Munson trailer.

“Wayne! We’re… back,” you said, looking at Wayne’s sleeping form. You felt Eddie’s chest crash into your back, a hand on your shoulder.

“Sweets, wha–” Eddie started.

“Shut up, Wayne fell asleep.”

Eddie looked at his uncle, seeing that he was indeed sleeping. He walked into the kitchen as quietly as he could, setting the bags down on the counter to take the items out of the bag. Just as you set the bag from your hands on the counter, Eddie had turned toward the fridge, taking the pack of protein from its spot on the cold shelf to set it on the counter.

“If you’re gonna be in here with me while I cook, I need your hair up and out of your face,” you said, taking half of your own hair to secure it with a hair tie you always had on your wrist. After tightening the hair tie, you gave Eddie a stern look as he perched himself onto the counter.

“Alright. Do you have an extra hair tie?” he asked, lacing his fingers together to rest them in between his knees.

“Eddie, you have a million floating around here.”

“Yeah, but none of them are yours.” He gave you a cheeky grin with a wink.

“Oh my god,” you muttered, turning on your heel to walk into the shared bathroom. Right there on the counter was the hair tie you had left a couple of days prior. Sighing exasperatedly, you grabbed it and exited the bathroom, only to be met with Eddie’s hair being tied into a low bun at the nape of his neck, the younger Munson man moving around the stove. “Wha– I was gonna do that!”

“Quiet, love,” he murmured. “Don’t wanna wake Wayne up.” At the mention of his uncle, you both heard a small snore coming from the living room, quiet snickers coming from both of you once you looked at each other.

“Okay,” you said, quietly. “We need to try and be quiet. Which is gonna be… a challenge considering that when you cook ground meat– Eddie!”

As you were trying to explain to him about being quiet, he went ahead and started cooking, the sizzle from the meat growing louder with every passing second.

“It’s okay, sweets. I do this all the time. He’ll wake up when one of two things happen; I wake him up by simply saying it’s ready, or he’ll wake up on his own accord when the noises die out.”

“So, you’ve done this before?” you asked, generously curious.

Eddie looked at you, his eyes softer than what you’ve ever seen. “Every night.”

“Wow,” you whispered. “I never knew that.”

“You always dip out before when I ask about you staying.”

Following your instincts, you walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his middle, your cheek pressed to his back. “That’s amazing of you, Eds. But I like this side of you.”

He turned his head over his shoulder, letting you know that he was still engaged in the conversation. “What side?”

“Domestic,” you replied, slightly smiling. “Super kind, even though I knew that. Always thinking of others, putting them before yourself.”

“And how do you figure that last one?”

“Putting others before yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“You just… put their needs before your own. I can’t describe it. You’re just… not what people say you are.”

“A freak?”

“Well,” you said, moving to stand beside him, your arms still around his waist as his own arm went around your shoulders. “You are a freak, but… they say you’re mean and scary, but you’re just… not. You’re kind and thoughtful. You’re always willing to help those who need it, even if other people can’t see that. You have an amazing heart. You’re helping Wayne out with money, even if I don’t totally agree with it.”

Eddie snickered, neither of you realizing that your soft voices roused Wayne from his small sleep, the man unmoving as he listened in. “Yeah, well, I’ve had help in that department.”

“No, no. You’ve always done that, even before I came along.”

Hugging you tighter to his side, he slightly smiled at you, looking into your beautiful eyes that he always got lost in. “You’ve made me want to be a better person.”

You smiled and looked at the cooking meat in the pan, taking the spatula from his hand, breaking the meat up a little more while flipping and stirring it to make sure all the pink was gone from it. “Tell me more, Eds. This soft side of you is one of my favorite sides you show.”

“What’s the other?” He was more than curious about this turn of conversation.

“Your Dungeon Master side.” You reluctantly removed yourself from his hold to grab the strainer from the lower cabinet, placing it inside the sink before taking the pan from the stove to pour the meat into it. Waiting just a couple of minutes before putting it back into the pan, you gathered the other ingredients for the meal, mixing the seasoning packet with the amount of water it needed.

Eddie leaned against the corner of the counter, crossing his arms, watching you work this time. “You like it when I play Dungeon Master?”

Nodding in response, you placed the meat and seasoning mixture back into the pan, the sizzle sounding through the trailer once more. “Yup. That’s part of your element and I love seeing that. I love seeing–”

“Go to Benny’s with me.”

Looking at him with furrowed brows, you were utterly confused. “Now? Eddie, we’re cook–”

“No, no, not tonight,” he said, shaking his hands. “Saturday. Let me take you–”

“On a date?” you asked, your eyebrows shooting into your hairline. “You wanna take me on a date?”

“Yeah, why not? Let’s start putting that rumor to bed on Saturday.”

Thinking about what he said previously about putting the rumor to bed, your brows softened, a mischievous smile crossing your lips. “Alright. Let’s do it.”

The both of you finished cooking the tacos, as well as cutting the toppings up in sync with each other. It amazed you how well you both danced around each other, almost as if you choreographed it yourself.

Once it was done, you told Wayne it was time to chow down, which he gladly but slowly got up from his chair to sit at the table with Eddie. You opted to perch yourself up on the counter that was closest to the table, being able to engage in their conversation, laughing when they said or did something that you thought was hilarious.

When the three of you were finished eating with absolutely no food left over, you told the Munson men to sit back and relax so that you could clean up, which wasn’t much. Eddie tried to help you dry the dishes, but you just smacked his hand away, telling him to sit his ass down.

Eddie had grabbed himself a beer, as well as another one for Wayne, handing it to him before going into his room, laying down on his bed, his back resting against the wall behind him, watching as you walked in.

Trying to figure out where to sit, you looked around his room, seeing it was a little askew.

“Don’t you think about it,” he said. “It’s organized chaos.”

“But can you find the heavy stuff?” you asked, raising a brow at his silence. “That’s what I thought.” You busied yourself by tidying his room, putting his dirty laundry in a pile to be washed, folding the clean clothes and putting them in his drawers… after folding them up. “Am I gonna have to come over once a week and tidy up for you?”

Eddie chuckled, setting his beer down on the table beside his bed, the contents almost gone before he moved to the edge of his mattress, mimicking your position from earlier. “Come here,” he quietly said, holding a hand out for you.

Taking it, you couldn’t help but feel the sparks shoot through your arm, but you elected to ignore them as he guided you to sit in from him. 

“I just wanted to say thanks,” he said, softly. “For helping make dinner, cleaning up the dishes as well as my room.” He chuckled at his own statement, your own chuckle mingling with his. “You’re really the best person I could’ve ever asked to be a friend.”

“A best friend?” you asked, smiling wide with your brows raised.

“Yeah,” he lightly laughed. “A best friend.”

After that conversation, you and Eddie cuddled on his bed, something you always did after you stayed for dinner, the two of you talking about anything and everything for a couple of hours. At the sound of the shower running, you sighed. 

“I guess that’s my cue,” you whispered, subconsciously drawing random circles on his shirt.

Eddie held you tighter, groaning in protest. “Noooooooooo! Don’t go.”

Laughing, you balled his shirt in your fist, your cheek squishing on his clothed chest.  “I have to! I have to work in the morning.”

“Tell everyone that comes in tomorrow that you're putting the rumor to bed.”

You chuckled a little, trying your best to sit up. “Will do, boss.”

It was Eddie’s turn to reluctantly let you go, the both of you sitting up and getting off the bed. Like a true gentleman, he walked you out of the trailer and to your car. “Thanks for staying for dinner, sweets.”

“I enjoyed it,” you replied, looking at him with a soft smile. You could feel the tension between the two of you, wanting to just plant your lips on his, but knowing you couldn’t. “Well, I, uhh, I guess I should go.”

Eddie groaned in protest, making you giggle.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow after my shift for a little while like always.”

“It’s like you live here.”

“I might as well. We all know that my home life isn’t what I enjoy.” 

You grew up like your other best friend, Steve Harrington. Rich parents, big house, always by yourself. On those days or weeks that your parents were off with Steve’s, you’d both switch off between staying at each other’s houses.

Just like with Steve and Robin, you and him were strictly platonic, if not just as platonic as they were. You liked the relationship you and Steve held. No expectations held between the two of you, other than… being best friends.

“I know, sweets,” Eddie whispered, bringing a hand up to your cheek, holding it in his palm. “Call me and let me know you made it home safe?”

“Eddie–”

“Wayne’ll be fine,” he interrupted. “He’s working nights at the moment, remember?”

Closing your eyes with a squint, you remembered what his shifts were like; a few weeks on day shift, a few weeks on night shift. You felt bad for Wayne’s sleep schedule, the man getting sleep where he could.

As if he sensed his name being mentioned, Wayne walked out of the trailer, lunchbox in hand. “Well, kids, looks like I’m heading off for the night. You two stay out of trouble.”

“Eddie? Getting into trouble? Never,” you joked.

All Eddie could do was give you a deadpan expression. “Oh, ha ha ha. Very funny.” He looked at his uncle, softness in his eyes. “Don’t worry, Wayne. I’ll be fine.”

“Same words, different day,” the older Munson chuckled. “I’ll see ya in the morning, boy.”

Eddie just smiled and patted his uncle on the shoulder, watching as he got into his rundown car and drove off to work. He was always worried about his uncle and that shitbox he drove, but at least it got him from Point A to Point B. Sighing, Eddie looked back down at you, seeing the somber look on your face.

“He’s gonna be okay,” you softly said. “He’ll get there fine.”

“I know,” he sighed, again, wrapping his arms around you. “I just worry.”

Releasing a deep breath as you wrapped your arms around his middle and pressed your face into his chest, you responded, “It’s okay to worry, Eds,” before moving your head to the side, your cheek pressing where your nose just was. “But you’re gonna worry yourself to death. He’s a grown man, he can take care of himself.”

Perching your chin on his sternum, you looked up at him as he looked down at you. “I know. Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Being here for us. He’s not very good with words, but I know he appreciates it.”

“Who knows, maybe one day I’ll move in and cook dinner for you two all the time, and make sure your laundry is kept up.” You were joking, but something in Eddie’s mind told him that didn’t sound like a bad idea. “Listen, I would love to stay and keep you company, but unfortunately, my parents are home for the next few days. They’d be pissed if I wasn’t home to greet them.”

Eddie raised a brow at you. “Can I level with you?”

“Sure.”

“They wouldn’t be pissed, and I think… you’re just telling yourself that… to try and make yourself feel better.”

He had a good point. Steve had said the same thing about his own parents at one point when you all were at a party together.

“Okay, fine,” you groaned. “I really don’t wanna go home.”

“Then don’t. Come back inside. Let’s put–”

“I swear, if you say let’s put the rumor to bed one more time, I’m gonna pluck every single strand of hair from your hair.”

Eddie chuckled, rubbing his hands up and down your back. “I was gonna say, rude ass, let’s put on a movie… and if we happen to put the rumor to bed, we put the rumor to bed.”

“Edward Wayne, you might just be a genius,” you smiled. You couldn’t deny that you had a small crush on him. I mean, who wouldn’t! Everyone in town sees him as a freak, but to you… he’s just Eddie. Sweet, fun-loving, guitar playing Eddie who adores his uncle and Hellfire friends more than anything.

You were already feeling a little tired, so agreeing to Eddie’s offer of watching a movie seemed like the next best thing. As you walked back into the trailer, you set your stuff back down on the small kitchen table before walking to the couch, plopping yourself down while releasing a deep breath before yawning, “What did you want to watch?”

“None of that rom-com shit you like to watch,” he chuckled.

“Well, none of that horror shit you like to watch,” you retorted, smiling at the end to show him that you were joking.

He chuckled, sitting down next to you after he popped a movie into the player, the remote in his hand. Putting his arm around the back of the couch, he smirked, the trailers playing on the screen, the brightness of the screen lighting up his features.

Looking from him back to the tv, you groaned, a small bit of fear crossing your features. “Eddie. I hate this movie. Why would you pick this movie?”

“What’s wrong with this movie?” he asked, tapping his heels on the floor, his legs having been spread since he sat down.

“It’s fucking creepy!” you whined. “And I feel bad for the little piggie!”

“Well, I, for one, like the Horned King.”

“Of course you would. The Black Cauldron is right up your freaking alley.” Crossing your arms, you scrunch your brows, wallowing in your discomfort causing Eddie to lightly chuckle to himself.

Not ten minutes into the film, and you were burying your face into Eddie’s shoulder, your hands up by your cheek. “Oh, fuck!” you exclaimed. This made Eddie chuckle, his arm wrapping around your shoulders, making your face go from his shoulder to his chest, your eyes peeking out from between your fingers. 

“Turn it off, turn it off,” you whimpered as the Horned King spoke on screen.

“How I’ve thirsted to be a god,” the Horned King said.

“You’re fucking creepy as shit, man! You’re no god! You’re just a devil with horns!”

Laughing, Eddie tightened his grip on your shoulders. “That’s the point, babe.” He didn’t mean to use the nickname, it just slipped out. Not that it didn’t feel good rolling off of his tongue.

You looked at him, the movie long forgotten in your mind as you looked at his profile. Bringing your hand up to cup his cheek, you moved his head to cast his eyes down at you, which he did after seeing the screen from the corner of his eyes. “Call me that again,” you whispered.

“What? Babe?” he asked just as quietly.

Nodding, you sat up a little straighter. “I think I’d rather put that rumor to bed now.”

“It’s like you read my mind, sweets.” Without missing a beat, Eddie leaned his head down just as you were sitting up a little more, your lips connecting in a searing kiss that had fireworks and butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

The kiss was everything you had dreamed it would be as you moved to straddle his hips, your hands cupping his cheeks as Eddie’s hands went to your hips. Capturing his bottom lip between yours, you let out  a soft breath before pulling back.

At the same time you moved your hands to his neck, Eddie’s hands moved from your hips to your cheeks, his big palms cupping your face as your foreheads pressed together. “Damn, sweets,” Eddie breathed. “You know how long I’ve been thinking about that?”

“Forever?” you asked, softly. Lightly rubbing your thumbs on his neck, you pulled back just a little to look into his chocolate brown eyes. “Because I’ve been dreaming about this for a long time.”

“Dreaming about what?”

Well, you can’t turn back now as you decided to just lay it all out on the table. “About you being slotted between my legs, your cock buried so deep inside of me that I could cum just from that alone. I’ve dreamt about your face between my thighs–” 

You felt yourself being lifted from the couch, your legs going around Eddie’s waist as the man in question walked towards his bedroom, making sure the door was locked beforehand as you continued, “- as your tongue and fingers work on my wet, aching core to the point where I have push your face away from how sensitive you made me.”

Eddie groaned as he kicked his bedroom door shut, laying you down on the bed to hover over you. “Keep going, princess.”

“I’ve dreamt of you fucking me from behind, me riding you, us laying on our sides facing each other, you buried to the hilt inside of me. Even me laying on my stomach with you hovering over me, making me feel so fucking good.”

“Shit,” Eddie whispered, working on the buttons of your jeans while his lips worked on your neck.

Quietly gasping at the feeling of his hand working its way down the front of your jeans, you kept up with your words. “I’ve dreamt about making you feel good, Eddie. My mouth around your tip, hollowing my cheeks as I take all that I can into my mouth, wrapping my hand around what I can’t fit - shit.”

Your words were cut off by the feel of Eddie’s finger sliding through your already wet folds, teasing your entrance. “So wet for me,” he muttered against your neck. “You always this wet when you think about me, princess?”

Moaning, you answered, “Yes. Always.” Burying your head into the mattress beneath your head, you moaned again, feeling a rush of pleasure surging through you at the feel of his slender digit finally making contact with your aching bud. Needing something to hold on to for the moment, you reached your hand up, lightly grasping Eddie’s curly brown tendrils. 

“Eddie,” you breathed. “Need you.”

“Need me where, princess?”

“Mouth. Core. Now.”

A light chuckle sounded from Eddie before a sad whimper through the air from you at the removal of his touch. Before you could protest, he placed a kiss to your lips, working on the button and zipper of your jeans. “Oh, don’t worry, princess. I’m getting there.”

Feeling his body being removed from your own, you looked at him, a pout on your lips as he sat up straight, taking your jeans with him. Eddie looked at you, a smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, m’lady. I’m getting there.”

A sigh fell from your lips as you watched him remove your panties from your hips, dropping them to the floor with your jeans with a soft thud. Gliding his hands up your calves to your knees, you closed your eyes, softly moaning with your bottom lip trapped between your teeth.

The next sensation had you gasping and looking down, seeing nothing but the top of Eddie’s glorious hair as he started his feast on your core. “Fuck, Eddie,” you whispered.

He leaned back just a tad to look up at you as he worked his magical tongue over your sensitive bud. Pulling off of your core for just a second, he brought his fingers to where his mouth was, softly working his fingers over your core to continue the sensation his tongue had brought. “You like that, babe?”

Nodding, you hummed your agreement, bringing a hand to his hair to thread your fingers through them softly. “Yes,” you whispered. 

Eddie leaned his head against your inner thigh, smiling up at you softly as he inserted one finger into your entrance. “Ready for your fantasy to be brought to life?”

“Fuck yes, Eddie, please,” you groaned before he chuckled. 

Without saying another word, he brought his mouth down on your clit, gently sucking on the bud as he worked his finger in and out of you at a delicious pace. Halting his sucking for just a moment, he watched himself as he brought another finger to your entrance, inserting that finger into you as well, your moans like music to his ears.

No words were exchanged as he worked his fingers in and out of your core and his tongue and mouth on your clit, groans coming from both of you; your groans and moans of pleasure, his groans at your sounds.

“Fuck, Eddie, I’m gonna cum,” you said, using your free hand to grab at his pillow. He saw that and didn’t like it, so instead, he adjusted himself before reaching for your hand that was on his head and laced your fingers with his as you brought your free hand down to his head.

Your breaths quickened as Eddie worked his absolute magic, working you to your release. With your head digging into the pillows, you let out a loud moan as your climax hit. While it felt glorious, you wanted to see Eddie’s face and the smug grin that you were sure he was wearing.

When you looked down, you smiled and chuckled, seeing that exact look on his face. “Enjoy that, babe?”

“Uh-huh,” you mumbled. “I think you’ve got me tongue drunk.”

Chuckling, he placed a kiss to the top of your clit before moving his lips back up your body, taking your shirt with him. As he brought it up over your head, Eddie lifted your arms, holding your wrists in place as he looked down at your breasts, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra.

“Take it off,” you whispered, watching him push it up to reveal your skin to him, his eyes having landed on your perky nipples. Before you could say or even think of any other words to say, a moan escaped your throat, your head digging back into the pillows at the feeling of Eddie’s mouth around your nipple. “Eddie!”

With a soft pop, he released your perky bud, looking you dead in the eyes. “How do you want me?” he asked, reaching towards his jeans button and zipper, the latter sounding as he unzipped his pants, pushing them down his legs the best he could.

“Inside. Now. I can’t wait any longer. I need you, Eds.”

“Shit, babe,” he muttered, standing to rid himself of his clothes and to retrieve a condom. He started to climb back up his bed to hover over you at the same time you rid yourself of your shirt. Lining himself up after rolling the condom down his shaft, he looked at you. “Ready?”

“More than ready.”

He nodded slightly, looking back down at your entrance to guide himself to your aching core. As soon as the tip of his cock touched your pussy, it was game over. You both moaned at the feeling of him inserting himself.

You gasped and looked down at where the two of you were connected as soon as he buried to the hilt as he groaned in pure pleasure.

“Fuck, you feel incredible,” he muttered. “I’m not even sure I’ll last that long.”

“I don’t care if you last the next four milliseconds,” you said. “I love the way you feel me up.”

With that, Eddie slowly pulled out before all but slamming back into you before doing it again… and again and again and again and again causing you to be a writhing mess under him. Eddie did all he could to hold himself above you, his arm muscles growing the tiniest bit weak.

“Fuck,” he whispered. “You feel so good, I might cum in the next three pumps.”

“Fuuu–” Your words were cut off with a small yelp at Eddie’s fingers rubbing your clit, your walls starting to flutter around him. “Eddie, I’m gonna cum! Don’t stop!”

And he didn’t. He didn’t stop rubbing at your clit until you came around his cock, and he in the condom. Eddie didn’t move for a good minute or two, panting above you. “Shit, babe.”

When he pulled out to dispose of the condom, the both of you hissed, your core feeling like he fucked you absolutely raw. “Don’t move,” Eddie whispered. “I’ll be right back.”

Nodding, you watched as his form retreated from the room, calling out Wayne’s name just to be sure he didn’t come back home early. When neither of you heard his voice, Eddie looked at you and gave you a curt nod before exiting his bedroom, a small laugh playing on your lips.

As you heard the water in the bathroom running, you sighed and closed your eyes, content with how things were playing when an overwhelming thought crossed your mind; what did this mean for the two of you? Were you two together; like boyfriend and girlfriend, or were you two just now friends with benefits?

Those thoughts scared you, as did Eddie when he came into the room, a warm wash cloth in hand. “Spread ‘em,” he said, softly. You did as he asked, gasping at the feeling of him cleaning you up.

Once the cloth was discarded, he crawled up the bed to lay beside you with a smile on his face, but when he looked at the expression on your face, his smile immediately died. “babe, what’s wrong?”

“Just–” you sighed. “What are we now?” Looking at him, you couldn’t help but feel bad at bringing this up right after he fucked you into oblivion. “I just– I wanna be with you, Eddie, but that stupid, annoying voice in the back of my head is saying that you don’t want to be with me, too, which I know wouldn’t be the case if you just fucked me like a damn god.”

Eddie chuckled, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “babe, I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you.” Cupping your cheek, he continued his words. “When I saw you, I said to myself, ‘damn, I want this girl. She’s perfect, even with her nose stuck in a book.’”

Laughing, you covered his hand with yours, looking into his eyes with all the adoration in the world. “You still want me even though I still have my nose books?”

With a soft smile, he replied, “Always.”

~~~

As you walked into Family Video with Eddie a few weeks later, you spotted Chrissy in the rom-com section of the store, her head tilting up from looking at the second shelf. When her eyes locked with yours, she rolled hers and looked back down for a moment before casting her eyes upward, looking at you and Eddie once more.

Eddie saw this and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, kissing your temple before walking over to the horror section, which just so happened to be right behind the rom-com section.

As Chrissy turned to look at the shelves behind her, what she saw made her let out a deep, annoyed breath; you and Eddie were locking lips, not in a high school makeout session, but more of a sweet kiss.

The two of you only broke apart once you heard a throat being cleared. “Can you two please move this somewhere else?” Robin whispered. “You’re going to scare away our customers.”

“Remember that rumor from a few weeks ago about Eddie and I hooking up?” you asked, to which Robin nodded. “Well, Chrissy started that rumor, so Eddie and I put it to bed and… well, now we’re together!”

“Nice, but please, keep it to a minimum,” she asked, turning to walk back to the front counter.

Smiling, you shook your head and turned to look at the selection of tapes in front of you.

“Listen, I know horror isn’t your thing, but I brought you over here to just kiss you in front of Chrissy,” Eddie said, softly.

“So, does this mean I get to go look at comedies now?” you asked, looking up at your boyfriend with a smile on your face. 

Chuckling, he said, “Sure thing, babe.”

Walking away, you groaned, “God, I love it when you call me that.”

As Eddie walked behind you to the comedy section, he started humming one of your newest favorites songs off of Def Leppard’s Hysteria album. “Gimme all of you lovin’, Gimme all that you got, Ev’ry bit of you lovin’, Never want it to stop, Yeah but are you gettin’ it? Armageddon it! Ooh, really gettin’ it? Yes, Armageddon it!”

Hearing Eddie humming that song had you bursting out in laughter, head tilted back. The second, third, and even fourth time the two of you had rolled around in the sheets, that particular song played. Every. Single. Time.

So, Eddie being Eddie, hummed or sang it every time he wanted take in that particular activity, and you would always respond with a lyric from the song, just like you did now.

“Yes, Armageddon it!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N 2:  hi, friends! let me know what you thought! again, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox.

Additional Notes: idk how i feel about writing for a non-henderson!reader, lol. i'm so used to writing henderson!reader, lol

~~~

Forever / Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24 @stixnstripesworld @fandom-princess-forevermore @quanticobae @mischiefandi @kellyashcroft @lauren-novak​

If you’re tagged and didn’t want to be, please let me know.

Italics wouldn’t let me tag!

~~~

*Please don’t post my writing anywhere else without my consent. The author of this work will always and forever be @harringtonstilinski​.

All characters, story lines, and plot aside from y/n and her storyline & plot, are all of the work of The Duffer Brothers.

*These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.

No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Posted on August 23, 2024

[strniohoeee]

Disdain

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader ⚠️SMUT⚠️

Synopsis: Matt wants to keep Y/N, but won’t be her man’s, so what happens when they go to a Halloween party, and Matt sees something he doesn’t like🫠

Warnings⚠️: This is straight up SMUT. There’s smacking, degrading, manhandling. It’s just filthy sooo read at your own risk

Song for the imagine: Drama-Roy Woods ft. Drake, Thong Song- Sisqo

This story is 18+, so if you’re a minor DO NOT INTERACT⚠️

Matt and I had been in this weird gray area of being a couple, but not really being a couple. Like he was so sweet to me, and would take me out on dates and treat me like his girl, but then wouldn’t call me his girlfriend or be with me publically.

I hated it so much because he would treat me like I was his, but really I wasn’t, and anytime I brought this up he would go on this whole rant of “it doesn’t matter . Who cares about labels” My issue with that was he’s had girlfriends publically in the past, so I wasn’t sure what changed when it came to me.

About a month ago when he and I were doing really well, and acting like a real couple we decided we wanted to be Jessica Rabbit and Roger Rabbit for this Halloween party his brothers and I got invited to. Slowly I started looking into buying the costume parts, but when he started pissing me off I had only purchased the red sparkly strapless dress.

About two weeks before the party I decided I was no longer going to match costumes with him, but I didn’t tell him I wanted him to look like an idiot. Just how he made me look like one

The night of the party I had went over to the triplets house to get ready with them. Still Matt didn’t suspect a thing, but I had been distant these past two weeks not really talking to him or hugging or kissing him. He just assumed we were on our “break” and he didn’t really care. Not shocked

The party started at 11, and we were all finishing up our costumes. We decided to all walk out one by one and show them off.

Nick was Corlines other dad, and Madi was the other mother, Chris was Steve Harrington, and Matt came out dressed as Roger rabbit.

The only person who knew I changed my costume was Nick, and he was trying to keep his composure looking at Matt dressed like a fool.

“Okay Y/N come out” Madi said clapping her hands together

I walked out in my strapless sparkly red dress that pushed my boobs up nice and high, and the slit was from my bikini line down to my ankles. Sadly I wasn't going to be going commando as my whole ass would be out with a slight movement, so I had on a red thong. I had a gold leg garter that had a red heart on it, and my black stiletto heels. I had my makeup done like a sad flapper

“What do we think” I said spinning around

“BETTY BOOP” Chris screamed jumping up and down. Betty boop was one of Chris weird cartoon crushes

I nodded my head at this giving them a slight spin around

“You look so fucking hot” Madi came screeching over to me and grabbing my hands

“Y/N this costume is too good” Nick said in a giddy way

“What the fuck” Matt finally says with a straight face

“Oh I forgot to tell you I didn’t want to do a matching couple costume since we aren’t a couple” I said giving him a fake frown

“Ouuu she got you good” Chris said laughing at his idiot brother

“Whatever I look like an idiot, and I’m changing my costume” he said standing up abruptly and going to his room

About 10 minutes later he came back downstairs dressed as a cowboy. He looked hot I can’t deny, but he wasn’t my man so fuck him

We had all piled into the car as Matt drove us to the party at Larrays house. We knocked on the door and Larry opened it

“BITCHHHHH yall look so fucking good” he said letting us walk into his house

“Okay matty poo with the slutty little cowboy costume” Larry said, and to this Matt gave him a half smile, and then he walked away from us

“Oh what crawled up his ass” Larry said looking at us

“Y/N decided to not match costumes with him, so now he’s all pissy” Chris said

“Oh boy bye, Y/N you look so hot like Okayy with the red thong I see you” he said, grabbing my hand and spinning me around.

“Thanks baby” I said hugging him

We were at the party for a good two hours at this point. I had drank two drinks, and was feeling so confident, and decided I wanted to dance. Initially I was looking for Matt, but when I saw him he was shooting darts into my eyes with his arms crossed over his chest, and his jaw clenched. I just rolled my eyes, and looked for someone else

I had grabbed any random influencer I saw, and asked if they wanted to dance. Of course they did a random girl wanting to grind on them? How could they say no

As we got to the dancing area Thong Song started playing

Immediately I started jumping in excitement

“This is my fucking songggg” I screamed and pushed us to the center of the “dance floor”

At first I was dancing alone, running my hands all over myself swaying my hips while I sang the song. A circle had opened up surrounding me dancing. I grabbed Madi and we started dancing on each other, and then I grabbed

Chris and Nick also dancing with them in a friendly way.

“LARRAY COME DANCE” I said reaching for his hands. He immediately jumped into the circle and started dancing with me while everyone cheered us on. That’s when I saw the guy I initially brought to the dance floor

“Come on hottie let’s dance” I said grabbing him. I turned around so my back was against his chest, and started to grind on him wrapping my hands around his neck as our hips swayed together

“Bitchhhhhh FUCK IT UPPPP” LARRAY screamed clapping his hands together

“SHAKE THAT ASSSSSS” Nick yelled at me

This whole time Matt was in the corner watching Y/N intensely with a straight face. Fuming that she had the audacity to even grind up against someone who she didn’t know. When his hands started running down her waist, she threw her head back laughing. Matt got so pissed he pushed himself off the couch, and started to stomp over to them. Just as he reached them the song ended, and it got quiet

“Let’s fucking go” Matt said to Y/N going to grab her arm

“Fuck no” she said pulling away

“I didn’t ask! WE ARE LEAVING NOW” he said yelling the last part and yanking her away from the boy

Everyone in the crowd is watching with a shocked face

“BYEEEE, and cute boy find me I wanna take you out” Y/N said looking back at him, and to this Matt yanked her harshly to walk in front of him

Matt brought the girl to the car opening the passenger side door for her, and throwing her in

After he got back in the car and turned it on he turned the car on, and put it into drive quickly taking off

“Aww what a gentleman opening the passenger side for me” Y/N said giggling at him

“Shut the fuck up” Matt said clenching his jaw not even looking over at the girl

“What crawled up your ass” Y/N said

“You grinding on another guy” he said bluntly

“Not like we’re a couple” she said rolling her eyes

“Doesn’t matter” he said looking over at her

“Oh but it does. YOU ARE NOT MY MAN I CAN GRIND ON WHOEVER I WANT” I said lightly

“Watch your fucking tone” he said scoffing

“Or what? You gonna hit me” She said looking at him

“Want me to?” Matt asked as they pulled up to a red light

She started to lean in like she was going to kiss him on the cheek, but instead said “go fuck yourself” she said leaning back away.

Matt looked over at her, and smacked her across the face. Harshly but not enough to actually hurt her. It was more of a sexual smack

“Don’t fucking smack me” Y/N said and smacked the boy back in the face. He grabbed her hand and yanked her in closely

“Put your hands on me again, and I’ll fucking make you regret it” he said pushing her away as the light turned green

“Don’t touch me” she said back to him, and he grabbed her hand once again and brought it down to his bulge

“Do you see what you do to me, you make me so fucking hard” he said sighing as her hand came into contact with his dick

“Oh do I?” She said palming his dick, and he slightly threw his head back

“Fuck you’re gonna make me crash” he said

“So pay attention to the road, and let me take care of you” she said taking his dick out of his pants

She spat on the tip, and slowly started to jerk him up and down

“Shit that feels so good” he said gripping the steering wheel with his left hand

She slowly took his dick into her mouth. Swirling her tongue over his tip, and deep throating him. As her head was bobbing up and down Matt grabbed her hair moaning and thrusting his hips up. Y/N gagged at this

“Sorry baby I can’t help myself” Mat said moaning, and to this she moaned on his dick

“Fuck this I need you now” he said, and slowly pulled over to a secluded empty parking lot

After he threw the car in park Y/N took her heels off and jumped to the back seat, and Matt followed.

Immediately crashing his lips to her in a heated sloppy make out session. He pulled her dress down a little bit allowing her breasts to fall out. He started sucking and groping her breasts. As her back was digging into the handle

“Fuck Matt don’t stop” she said throwing her head back a little bit

“Look at you in this slutty dress with such easy access” He said squeezing her thigh

“Matt please I need more of you” she said pushing his head back. He backed up giving her a once over before nodding his head.

He went down to her thigh and grabbed the leg garter with his teeth pulling it down and off her leg, and putting it on the arm rest

“Open your mouth” he said lightly smacking her face, her mouth opened and he shoved her middle and finger finger in her mouth

“Get them nice and wet for me” he said watching her through half lidded eyes

Y/N swirled her tongue around his fingers, and he pulled them out. Pushing her panties to the side he rubbed her clit, and slowly slid both of his fingers in

“Oh my god” she said grabbing his arm

“You hear how this pussy sounds for me” he said slamming her fingers into her, all you could hear were the most obscene sounds coming from her pussy

“Matt I’m gonna cum if you keep speaking like that” the girl said as her eyes rolled to the back of her head

“You’re not cumming on my fingers” he said, and pulled his finger out her and smacked her pussy

She jumped at this and whined. Matt slid his pants down just enough for his cock to spring out. He pumped his cock a few times before spitting on Y/N pussy

“You’re getting fucked like a slut” he said as he slid his cock up and down on her pussy

“Please Matt I need it” she said moaning and breathing heavily

He slid into her pussy completely bottoming out. They both sighed at this feeling

“This pussy is mine” he said as he harshly grabbed her breast

Matt was relentlessly pounding into the young girl. Her back banging into the door handle, and her head slightly hitting the window

“Matt please harder” she said pulling his hair

“Shut the fuck up” he said as his hips snapped in an even fast faster

All that could be heard was skin slapping, moans and the banging of Y/N’s head on the window

He started to rub her clit as he pounded even harder into her

“FUCK MATT OH MY GOD” she yelled grabbing onto his hair for support

“Shut the FUCK up” he said looking into her eyes

“I can’t Matt you feel too good” she said moaning

He repositioned her hips, and started slamming into her at an ungodly pace

“MATT MATT MATT” she started screaming

“I said SHUT THE FUCK UP” he grunts out loudly as he smacks her across the face

“Fuck Matt” she said whining

He was getting close so his thrusts started to become deep and hard. Slamming into her with no mercy. He hit her G spot really hard, and Y/N was sure she died

“FUCK MATTTTTT” she screamed

“You don’t learn do you” he said as he grabbed her leg garter and shoved it in her mouth to keep her quiet

Matt continued to pound into her, and when she started to shake he knew she was about to cum

“Come on baby cum for me” he said furiously rubbing her clit. It didn’t take much more of that. She came on his cock moaning and weeping with tears falling down her face as her thighs started to shake

“Matt cum in me” she said coming down from her high as she removed the leg garter from her mouth

Immediately after that Matt came inside her with his brows furrowed and his mouth hung open. Pumping her full of his cum. After he came down from his high he pulled out and she slid her panties back on and pulled her dress up

“Fuck that was so hot” she said fixing herself up

“You’re mine” Matt said as he finished readjusting himself

She looked over at him confused

“Whatever it is you want! I’m yours I’ll be your man, your husband, your boy toy whatever you want I’m yours” he said looking at her in a fucked our expression

“Damn you’re so pussy drunk” she said laughing at him

“Don’t push it” he said with a straight face

“I can be your girlfriend I suppose” She said shrugging her shoulders

“Don’t play with me” Matt said looking at her

“I’m kidding. Yes Matt I’d love to finally be your girlfriend” she said kissing him on the cheek

“Good because I’m never letting you go” he said kissing her on the lips

“Alright let’s head home” Matt said as he helped Y/N back to the passenger seat

“Yeah my back is fucking hurting after being slammed into the handle non stop” she said laughing

“Im sorry baby” Matt said laughing with her

“It’s okay you were fucking me so good the pain went away” she said winking at him

He just looked down shyly and then drove back to the house.

The End

This was so fun to write🤪🤪 Now I’ll be working on my request I got, so expect to see that shortly🫶🏽

-J💅🏽

[stormsplurge]

happy tears overflowing, lightning bolts so overwhelming

warnings: slight smut at the end, just fem receiving oral, 18+ read at your own risk

pairing(s): seth jarvis x fem! reader

inspired by anime eyes by kacey musgraves <3

1192 words

a/n: this is my first time writing x reader smut and my first time writing x reader stuff in a whiiiiile so i apologize if this is rough. regardless, i hope you enjoy!

“seth.” you said, putting down the knife you were chopping vegetables with, “i can feel your eyes staring a hole in the back of my head.”

“if you want me to stop you should try being less beautiful.” he replied.

before you could open your mouth to reply, he’d made his way across the kitchen and pulled you away from the counter. 

“seth!” you shrieked as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you into the air. 

you two had been spending the last week in minnesota, spending time with burnzie’s family and enjoying the last bits of summer before you had to get back to carolina. it was through burnzie, actually, that you’d met seth. he was a frequent customer at the animal shelter you worked at, eventually becoming a volunteer, and one of your friends.

you’d organized an adoption event, trying to find some of the pets forever homes and make room for new rescues, and burnzie offered to bring his “friends” as volunteers. he’d forgotten to mention those friends were a bunch of professional hockey players. 

seth had immediately caught your eye. his gap-toothed smile and infectious laughter, but also the edges of his shoulder tattoo peeking out from the edge of his t-shirt sleeves. everything about him was drawing you in, by the time he’d brought you adoption papers to sign off on you knew he’d had you.

“you’re adopting lulu?” you questioned, petting the gorgeous pitbull puppy in his arms.

“if it’s okay.” he responded, focusing his eyes away from the dog and looking into yours for approval.

“of course it’s okay” you said, “i’m so glad she’s finding her forever home. she’s been in the shelter for forever.”

“do you think i could get your number?” he quickly replied, before adding a “so i can text you if i have any questions about, yknow, lulu.”

“jarvis.” you chirped. “if you wanted my number you could have just asked, you didn’t need to adopt a puppy.”

“i know… but lulu was looking at me with her sad puppy dog eyes i couldn’t just leave her here.”

oh god, you thought. i’m fucked.

——

seth asked you out not even a week later.

he’d managed to get his hands on your work schedule and sent a flower every hour, all eight hours you were all at work. at first it was a daisy, with a note attached with only the word “go” you on it. next came a lily, with a note saying “out”. eventually leaving you with eight different flowers spelling out “go out with me please, love seth.” and a mystery address attached to the final one.

everything about the date was perfect, he’d found a secluded park where you wouldn’t be bothered by anybody and set up a picnic. every snack you’d offhandedly mentioned while you two had been texting, all of your favorite foods, everything you could think of was laid out on the blanket.

“oh seth…” you marveled. “you didn’t have to do this all for me.”

“of course i did.” he said, matter of factly. “my mom raised me to never half-ass anything, especially when it comes to a beautiful woman.”

“how’d you even think of this.”

“well burnzie mentioned that you’d been stressed out at work, and aho told me his girlfriend thinks this park is really romantic. so, yeah.”

“i love it.” you said, placing your hand on top of his, where it sat resting on his thigh. “thank you.”

——

from there the rest was history, the last year you’d spent with seth had been some of the best of your life. every minute of your day was filled with love, from lulu’s morning kisses to the daily texts you would get from jarvy as soon as practice was over. everything about it was perfect. 

“seth.” you said as he gently placed you on the counter. “i love you.”

“i know.” he mused, tilting your chin up and placing a kiss on your lips. 

“we shouldn’t be doing this here.” you whispered as his lips trailed over your jaw and onto your neck. “anyone could walk in at any second.”

“they wont be back for another couple of hours, i promise.” he replied as he placed his hands under your thighs and picked you up. you looped your arms around his neck, letting him carry you into the guestroom. 

the kisses were unrelenting at this point. your neck, your collarbones, the spot above your belly button. slowly making his way down to the edge of your shorts. 

“can i?” he asked, waiting for a yes to leave your lips before hooking his finger under the waistband and pulling the fabric down. the energy in the room had quickly turned from comforting to intense, seth’s eyes focusing exclusively on you. 

“you are so beautiful.” he breathes out between kisses, letting the stubble on his cheeks scratch against your inner thighs. 

“you don’t have to keep saying that.” you reply as he brings his tongue to your pussy.

seth aproached sex the same way he did hockey. making every second count, every move having an end goal. on the ice this meant helping his team and scoring goals, and in the bedroom it meant making sure you always felt good. 

you moaned his name as he inched his middle finger farther into you, bringing your hands to his hair and wrapping your fingers in the slight curls that formed at the nape of his neck. 

“you should, ah-, shave the sides again.” you whined, twitching with every slight movement he made. 

“bring back the mullet?” he chuckled, pushing his ring finger in as he spoke. “what about racing stripes should i do those too?”

a yes slipped out of your lips, followed quickly by seth pumping his fingers in and out of you at a desperate pace. his mouth made it’s way to your core as you felt yourself begin to unravel, rapidly reaching your peak.

“seth.” you moaned, throwing your head back. “i’m so close.”

“i know baby, you’re doing so good for me.” 

you were seeing stars, forgetting that you were in someone else’s house, panting and moaning and whining as loud as you could. the pressure in-between your legs growing until you couldn’t take it anymore, coming with seths name on your lips and his head in between your legs.

he was grinning at you from the edge of the bed, already back to his giggly self.

“i love you so much.” he said, making his way up the bed and tucking your hair between your ear.

you shushed him as you brought your hands to his cheeks and pulled him into a deep kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. if it were any other day you’d happily go for another round, but the sun was getting to you so you just rolled seth onto his side and burrowed yourself in his chest. the smell of sweat and deodorant pulling you into him. as you felt your eyes begin to grow heavier you felt him drape a blanket over the two of you.

“i love you too.” 

[bangchxnnie]

how long will this last? (pt. 2)

pairing: felix and fem!reader

tropes: friends to enemies to lovers, idiots in love, brother’s best friend if you squint? , college!au?

content warnings: 3rd person writing, alcohol is mentioned, reader is nicknamed barbie, felix is stupid, cursing, orange cats, shitty writing, bin being bin, massive miscommunication, what can barely be considered angst, some suggestive elements (but as always, read at your own risk buddy!)

chapter word count: ≈4.7k

|| hlwtl masterlist || part 1 || part 3 ||

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“Did you eat my fucking pasta leftovers?” She groans, searching through the fridge. 

“You were asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you up and ask what is off limits and what isn’t.” 

“You’re such a prick.” She slams the fridge shut and fights a full-on pout. 

My pasta…

“What bit your ass?” 

It takes a while to explain everything to her brother fully. With how busy his job has been, he’s barely popped in over the last few months. She’s be lying if she said it wasn’t good to see him, though. Scare or not. 

She keeps stopping to fight the residual anger, sadness, or the weird mix of both that comes whenever she says Felix’s name. To Chris’s credit, he does his best to sit and just listen. Until she gets to the part about Felix saying she’s not worth it. He laughs at that. 

“What’s so funny?”

“God, he’s so transparent.”

She looks at him in confusion. 

“Continue. Please.” 

BP, the little traitor, sits in Chris’s lap the whole time, purring contentedly at the constant affection.

Can’t trust none of these hoes. 

When she finishes, he sits in silence for a moment. 

“So it sounds like he’s jealous, dude.” He says simply. 

B immediately shakes her head in protest and waves him off for good measure. 

“No, he’s just a dick.” 

“That may be true too, and I do want to kick his ass, but he’s clearly and obviously jealous of you and Binnie.” 

“You’re clinically insane. There’s nothing to be jealous of!” Her irritation could not be more obvious. Folded arms, jaw tensed, eyes skyward. “He’s just an ass, and there’s nothing more to it.” 

“Are you really that oblivious? I mean, c’mon, I know I’m the brains of the family, but-“ She smacks him upside the head. “Ow! Don’t damage the goods!” 

“Then stop saying dumb shit!” Chris glares at her. 

“I’m not. Anyone with eyes and half a brain cell can see he’s into you. Like, well into you. And has been. It’s quite gross, actually.” Her heart rate picks up at his words. She doesn’t actually believe him, but it gives her butterflies all the same. 

She covers by raising an eyebrow at him. He takes it as a sign to continue. “Look, I’m not gonna tell you what to do. But think about it. He threw a fit that day because he came home and saw you flirting with Bin.”

“I wasn’t flirting with him! That’s gross. Bin was just being himself. He’s always like that. Felix knows this.”

“Doesn’t mean he likes it. Maybe he just snapped.” 

She doesn’t buy it. They’re grown-ass people.

If Felix really was that upset, why wouldn’t he just say something? He’s always been able to tell me when he’s bothered.

If it were that simple, why didn’t you tell Felix how you felt, either? 

…Even my brain is a traitorous traitor. Why are we defending him?

“Okay, fine. What about that day he lied about his laptop?” 

“Maybe he genuinely forgot he had it. Or maybe, that loud ass sound you heard was him at the door.” 

B doesn’t say anything. 

“You said he was in the hallway, right? Maybe he had come home, saw Bin and you doing…whatever the fuck you were doing, and left.” 

Surely she would have noticed if Felix had come in, right? She’s normally so observant. Or at least, she thought she was. It’s a lot of information to process. 

“I mean, really? What the hell were you doing?”

“Irrelevant. What do I do about it?” B reaches for her cat, still seated in Chris’s lap. BP hisses at her. 

Fucker.

“Talk to him, dude. Jesus Christ, I thought you were smarter than this.” Chris just sighs. 

“Thanks, dipshit. And how exactly do you expect me to do that when he ignores me at every turn?” 

“I can’t give you all the answers. Damn. You’ve got to do some of the work yourself. Now,” He gently sets BP down and stands to stretch. “I’d really like to get some sleep. Is the spare room clean?”��

B thinks she’s probably going to kill him before this week is over.

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“What about that one? He’s so cute!” Felix points to a nearby cage, cooing at the cat on the other side. 

“His sign literally says, ‘I Don’t Like People.’” B counters, shaking her head. 

Felix just smiles that goofy smile at her that she loves. “Which means you already have something in common!” 

Her mouth drops in semi-shock at his comment, and she half-heartedly nudges his arm. “I like you well enough!” The same arm wraps around him and she continues walking. “How about this one?” She points to a couple of cages over; a little paw sticking out between the tiny metal poles of the door. 

“I dunno…she seems a little small. So dainty. She’s got to be able to hold her own in your house.” Felix plays with her as much as he can through the barrier, even going so far as to make baby talk to her. B giggles, just watching him for a bit. He’s so gentle with everything; no wonder the littles flock to him at family events. “Whad’ya think, Beautiful? Do you wanna come home with us? Just say the word, and we’ll take you home, yeah?”

Us. The way that one word makes B feel is more than dangerous. Floaty, warm, and fuzzy. After all, there is no us. Just her and Felix. As friends. Until the end of time. 

How miserable.

Felix jolts back when the cat swipes at him, catching his knuckle. “Ow! Fuck!” B blinks back to reality.

“Serves you right for calling her dainty.” 

Felix throws his free arm up in defeat. ���Fair enough.”

 He steps into B’s space silently, suddenly laser-focused on reaching the top of her head. He gently moves a stray hair back into place, following it down to tuck it behind her ears. “Sorry, Gorgeous, it was standing up weird.” It’s all he offers in explanation. 

Not that she minds. But between the pet name and the touch, she’s sure her face is outing her in more ways than one. 

You’ve got to get it under control, girl! Get. A. Grip. 

Felix clears his throat, steps back, and offers his arm to her. “Shall we?” 

They interact with a few more cats, and every time Felix talks to the cats, it tugs at B’s heartstrings. She can’t help but watch the way his freckles crinkle when he smiles or how his eyes light up when any of the cats interact with him back. “How are you today, sweetheart?” or “Are you having a good day?” or B’s personal favorite, complete with baby voice-“I might have to just steal you for myself. Yeah, I think I do.” 

Eventually, they come across one that seems thoroughly uninterested in Felix. Felix tries to play with him, but he doesn’t budge. “Well, fine. Be like that then.” He pouts like a petulant toddler. 

“I think he’s just tired.” 

“Is he? He seems pretty indifferent toward me.” 

“Let me try.”

“Be my guest, gorgeous.”

B tries to coax him out from the corner of his enclosure. He slowly sits his head up and just stares at her. At least it’s more of a reaction than what he gave the man.

The cat approaches the cage leisurely like he has all the time in the world. Which, one supposes, he does. B drops her arm from Felix’s to get closer to the semi-curious cat, who lets Barbie pet him and seems content with just that. 

“I think he likes me? Maybe?” She searches the cage for his information card. 

Name: Bobby Pin 

Felix laughs. It compels another smile from B, much like anything else he does. “Bobby Pin? How do they come up with these names?” 

“I mean, my friend in grade school had a cat named Crayon. She tried to eat one as a kitten right after they got her. So there it was.” 

The way he listens so intently when she speaks makes her feel like anything she has to say is important. That she is important, it’s a feeling she cherishes more than he knows. 

Felix tries to reach for the cat again, seemingly feeling like he’s missing out. When the cat grumbles but lets him, both humans laugh. B decides that he’s the one.

She goes searching for a shelter employee. 

“Excuse me, we’d like to fill out an application for this one?” 

The memory pulses a pang in her chest that feels so wrong. It doesn’t seem right that just a few months ago, they were fine, and now, he’s saying shit like, “You’re not worth it”. It doesn’t make sense. Her conversation with Chris and the memory keeps her up until her eyelids can’t hold their own weight anymore. 

She manages an entire 36 hours almost completely people-free. She gets out of bed three times the first day. Once to use the bathroom, once to grab an obscene amount of snacks and dash back to bed, and a third time to grab the remote that fell underneath her bed. Other than that, she’s either sleeping, eating, or watching episodes of a show she’s seen a million times. It usually leads to another nap, honestly. The other days it's even less. Maybe twice, if that. Chris checks on her once a day to ensure she’s alive, asks if she wants him to stay (she says no), tells her to call if she needs him, and leaves. She doesn’t call, though. In fact, she turns her phone completely off to avoid everyone else. 

The fourth morning, however, another unwelcome visitor breaks into the apartment. He also has a key, but that’s beside the point. 

“B, are you home?” She’s already awake but would rather be sleeping off what feels like the beginning of a massive headache. Maybe it’s from all the crying. Maybe someone snuck in the middle of the night and poured alcohol down her throat. Maybe it’s from the yelling. She can’t be sure. The possibilities are endless, really. But what she is sure of is the fact that she doesn’t want to deal with Changbin. Not today.

Die. I want to crawl into a hole and make it my home like I’m some kind of mole. I could be a mole man. Mole-woman? Mole-person. 

She snaps her eyes shut and listens for his footsteps. She’s trying to gauge how far away he is since he says nothing else. She is unsuccessful.

“Well, you look awful.” 

Fuck.

“Go away.” She pulls the covers over her head and turns away from the door. 

“No, we’re not doing this sulking thing. C’mon.” He grabs BP from the foot of the bed and sets him on the floor. BP is unhappy about it, grumbling annoyed cat noises while he stretches and searches for a new sleep spot. 

“Oh, hush. You love me.” Bin argues with himself, it seems, because BP ignores him. 

He gently tugs at Barbie’s comforter. He’s trying to give her a chance to let it go. And when she doesn’t, he just snatches it from her hands and tosses it to the end of the bed. He sits on the edge and waits for her to sit up. She doesn’t. 

“Um, hello?! I have no pants on!” B protests, though she makes no effort to hide anything. Her sleep shirt is long enough that it covers everything anyway. 

“Oh, no! Legs! What’s a man to do?!” Bin faux gasps, clutching his hand to his chest. 

He deadpans seconds later. “C’mon, Barbie.” 

“If you say, let’s go party, I will kick you in the stomach.” 

Bin blinks at her. “Just get up!” 

“I don’t want to!” She thrashes around in protest, tears already threatening to expose themselves. “I’m in pain, I’m humiliated, I’ve been invaded, I’m-“ 

“Invaded?” Bin tilts his head, amused. 

She props herself up on her elbows. “Chris is here.” And just as quickly, drops herself back flat on the bed.

Bin mouths a silent oh. 

“Well, he can come too.” Changbin pats her leg and stands. 

“Where are we allegedly going?” Once again up on her elbows, B eyes him carefully. 

“The beach. Obviously.” 

An eyebrow raises. “In autumn?”

“Nobody said we were swimming. Now get up, and take a shower. You smell like sadness.” 

He finds his way to her tall dresser across the room and starts rummaging through it for appropriate clothing. 

She sighs in defeat, dragging herself up to a sitting position. A hefty yawn escapes her lips, and it dawns on her she has no idea what time of day it is.

“Wait, what time is it?” B searches for her phone, but it’s not in its usual spot on her nightstand. “And where’s my phone?” 

“7:30.” 

“AM?!” 

Bin waves her off as if it’s unimportant information. 

“You do realize this is an executable offense.” 

He turns his head to look at her, evil smile spread across his face. “Kill me and I’ll haunt you until your last breath.” 

It’s probably true. 

He tosses some clothes at her and points to the bathroom, exiting the bedroom in the same stride. “Shower. I’m gonna go wake your brother up.” 

“Best of luck, soldier.” 

She takes a deep breath, determined to face whatever the day throws her way. She quickly grabs the clothes thrown at her and heads to the bathroom. As she steps inside, a feeling of dread overcomes her. 

Why do I feel like this day is going to be a shitshow?

She closes her eyes and prays for the best. 

The shower is surprisingly refreshing. Once she finally convinced herself to get in, it’s hard to get out. A full wash can be quite draining most days, but the effort came with a little more ease once the warm stream also warmed the room. She leaves a little less dread-filled and a little more hungry.

After she gets dressed and styles herself to her liking, she heads to the spare room to see how successful Bin is at getting Chris up. He’s usually hard to rise since he doesn’t sleep much, either. 

She finds her brother and her friend..giggling. On the bed. Bin lightly punches Chris’s arm, and Chris falls into a full fit of laughter. 

She smiles, happy to see some of her favorite people so happy. “What’s so funny?” 

Their laughs settle, and Chris waves her off. “It’s nothing.” 

Bin agrees, lingering laughter escaping. “Don’t worry about it, Barbie.” 

She frowns, but doesn’t press. The uneasy feeling in her is growing, but doesn’t have the energy to have it out with them about it.

“Oh. Well, are we going to leave soon?” Her entire demeanor shifts.  

“Soon, we’re just waiting for one more arrival.” No one has time to address B's body language because as if on cue, the door shakes violently. The doorknob attempts to turn, but, of course, it’s locked. The door shakes again, and B sighs. 

“Why would you leave a brainless squirrel outside by himself?” 

Bin shrugs.

“I heard that!” It’s slightly muffled, but the hurt is still there. 

B unlocks the door and steps back, allowing Jisung to clamber inside. He almost crashes into Barbie with how aggressively he runs in. He’s breathing heavy, dramatically sets his hands on his knees to ‘catch his breath’. When he stands, he narrows his eyes at his friend.

“The door wouldn’t open.” 

B laughs. “Because it's locked, dumbass.” 

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“When it didn’t open?” She ruffles his hair. He swats her hand away and attempts to fix it, muttering something under his breath. 

Han Jisung is…a special friend. He can be incredibly intelligent, and very insightful, but it’s blanketed by a lack of common sense sometimes. Most times. He likes to say he’s too smart for his own good. There’s a sliver of truth to the statement. 

“Can we go now?” 

The beach itself is relatively uneventful. Bin packed a picnic kit and some chairs for the group to just sit and talk for a while. He even packed a book for B for when she’s burnt out socially. It’s a kind gesture, but B opts to just sit and listen to the waves, conversation as her background noise. Jisung chooses to sit with her in silence. Eventually, she lays her head on his shoulder. It’s the happiest she’s been all week. 

Nobody says anything to her until they start getting back to the car.

“You know, it’s okay to talk about it.” Chris says, pulling his seatbelt across his lap in the driver’s seat. “How you feel about it.” 

B shakes her head. “I don’t know how I feel.” 

“That’s fine too.” It’s the last he says on the subject. 

The rest of the boys pile in after closing the back of the car, resuming whatever new conversation they’d started on the walk back. B doesn’t really take in much of it. Until she heard something about her brother’s birthday.

“Oh, yeah! Have you finished everything for Saturday, Chris?” 

“Yeah, about that…” He cringes, like the words are paining him.

“What did you do.” 

“ThevenuecanceledandwehavenowhereelsetohostitsoIwashopingyouwouldletususetheapartment.” The words blur together, but she manages to get the gist. And she’s not happy about it.

“And how long have you known this, Christopher?” She stares him down through the rear view mirror. 

“Just since yesterday! I swear! I was just as mad as you are but I know that you love me and you’ll do me this major solid and I’ll owe you big time.” He flashes her his biggest smile, hoping it’ll seal the deal. The car is quiet, save for the radio, while she contemplates her answer. 

“…Yeah, you’ll owe me big time.” 

The whole car lets out a sigh of relief. “You’re the best!” Chris sing-songs. B flips him the bird, smile fighting at the corners of her lips. 

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

Turns out, Chris has much more of his party planning shit together than anyone realises. The transition from venue to house party is relatively smooth over the next few days.. Hiding away the valuables and ultra breakables (nobody plans to get that wasted, but who knows), deep cleaning every room in the house, locking doors to off-limit rooms, the works. 

“Do you really not trust your friends that much?” Barbie questions. She’s washing up the rest of the dishes before she has zero energy left. 

“It’s not his friends he’s worried about, Barbie.” Seungmin joins in, spread comfortably across her couch.

“Oh, right. The New Year’s incident.” Jisung had gotten so drunk he’d gone up to every single person at the party and challenged them to an arm wrestle, and if they lost, he got to kiss them. He almost left with a broken arm. 

“We agreed we won't talk about that anymore.” Jisung gripes anytime somebody mentions it. 

“You agreed. With yourself.” B counters. 

Jisung, Changbin, and Chris all make weird eye contact with one another. It sets off that uneasy feeling in B’s stomach again. It’s so frustrating to feel out of the loop. Again. 

“What is this, some sort of weird intimate mindmeld? What aren’t you guys telling me?” 

They make eye contact again, and Bin clears his throat. 

“Um, Felix is, uh, coming to the party.” 

Her stomach drops at his name. Whether that’s from anger or something else is unknown. She hides her feelings behind a neutral face. 

“Oh. Well, I knew that. He and Chris have been friends for ages.” 

Nobody’s buying it. 

“Are you sure?” He speaks slowly; he’s scared to spook her. 

“Yes. Just because he can’t be civil doesn’t mean I can’t. Kill ‘em with kindness, yeah?” She shrugs and walks off to her room as casually as she can manage. 

She locks her door behind her and can feel a panic attack rising with every breath. She uses her grounding techniques to fight it off before it consumes her. 

Okay, I have exactly…16 hours to get my shit together. Oh shit. Chris was right. I just need to get through the night, and then I can sit his ass down and sort this shit out. His being into me is the only logical explanation for all his bullshit. It has to be. Yeah, I’m gonna talk to him when this is all over. 

She eventually hears a knocking sound in the back of her mind. It takes a few seconds to register that it is, in fact, a real knocking sound. 

“Hey, y’okay? We can tell him no if that’s what you want. Believe me, I have no issue doing that with how stupid he’s been acting lately.” 

She tries to laugh, but it comes out choked. It’s more air than sound. Some stray tears get eaten, which is weird because she didn’t even realize she was crying. She wipes her face and gets off the bed to unlock the door. 

She’s met on the other side of the door with Chris leaning on the doorframe, a sympathetic look adorning his face. 

“It’s okay, really. One night won’t kill me.” 

“I’d be a shit brother to let him around after all this.” 

“Good thing it’s not your call, then! It’s mine, and I say I want to move forward.” 

Chris nods. He knows when it’s the final straw for her, and she’s nearing it. He doesn’t bring it up again. She’s grateful for it. 

One more day and I’ll get my answers. 

….

….

She jolts awake, a scream echoing through her brain. Was it real? Was it in her head? 

She takes a moment to process her surroundings. The clock says 2:26 am. It’s dark. It’s cold. She realises 3 things:

She had a nightmare.

Felix is not here. She doesn’t know where he is. Thankfully? Unfortunately? Why do I wanna know where he is?

The scream was real, as noted by Chris and Changbin rushing to her room to see what had happened. My bad, bro. 

It takes a cup of tea, half a movie, and an extra body (Changbin) in her room to get her back to sleep. It’s in moments like this that she deeply appreciates the friends she has and the way they support her. 

When she wakes in normal operating hours, Changbin is still asleep in her bed. Granted, he’s somehow wrapped up in two blankets, and one of his legs is hanging off the bed, but he’s still there. She reaches across and attempts to unravel him because it must be hot like that, but all he does is grumble something that sounds like, “Get off my head,” and rolls toward the middle of the bed.

Can't say I didn’t try. 

B leaves him to his fate and gets herself ready for the day. 

❛ ━━━━━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜

“Hi! Thank you for coming!” B greets guests happily, hugging and smiling as each person steps over the threshold of her apartment. She gestures to the nearest bedroom, offers them a place to drop their bag and coat, and tells them to enjoy themselves. It’s the same formula for nearly every person. 

While doing rounds, she spots a familiar face by the back door. 

“Look at you, all dressed up!” She wolf whistles at him, and Seungmin’s face reddens, but he brushes her off. Truthfully, it's just a button-up and pants, but he looks good anyway.

“I was told dress nice or die, so.” He does his best to keep a neutral face, but it’s obvious he’s in good spirits. 

“Well, you look very nice. Very handsome.” B teases, pinching at his cheek. She loves to mess with him like an older sister, and as much as he complains, B has a feeling he doesn’t mind one bit. To save face, however, he ducks away and wanders off to find his friend Jeongin. 

Chris is mingling happily as cohost, beer in hand, as he hugs or high-fives his friends who made it out here. Communicating the last-minute change was the hardest part, but they made it work. It's nice to see him relaxed. It doesn’t go unnoticed how he works himself into the ground at that studio of his. Hopefully, this week has been a nice break from that. 

A hand on her back makes her jump,and she gets immediately defensive. Have spins around, ready to say something about personal space, but it’s just Changbin. “My bad, my bad! I didn’t mean to scare you!” He looks…nice. Fitted polo shirt that shows off his arms (shocker) and neutral pants. It’s a good look when you add in the watch on his wrist. 

“Just wanted to tell you that you look cute, Barbie!” He continues, gesturing to the dress B picked for the evening. Black and simple. Hair and makeup to match. 

Elegant. Classy. Easy, breezy, beautiful, covergirl. 

She smiles. “It has pockets!” She dips her hands into the pockets and twirls the dress to show it off. 

“I’m thrilled for you and your pockets. Do you want a drink?” She takes him up on his offer, and he sets off on his mission. 

In the meantime, she checks up on supplies. Everything seems to be good. Something catches her attention back toward the entry, and B’s heart drops to her ass. 

In walks Felix. And he looks divine. Black turtleneck, black pants, he even dyed his hair. She swears time has stopped.

Holy shit. Just, holy shit.

She agreed with everyone earlier against greeting him for fear of a cold shoulder. She knows herself, and she won’t let it slide if he decides to show out today, and today is not the day for that. Tomorrow, definitely, but not today. Instead, she just watches him walk in and barely notices the person following behind him.

Binnie returns with her drink, and they watch Felix timidly approach Chris. They share a mildly awkward embrace. Another person is standing beside Felix, a woman who looks just as, if not more, uncomfortable by the situation. They can’t hear what’s being said, but they see Chris give Felix a weird look before turning his attention to the woman. Chris greets her politely, gestures to the kitchen, and makes eye contact with Bin across. 

It genuinely looks like he’s trying to say something telepathically, and Bin almost looks like he understands. 

Men. How fucking weird. 

Just like it’s weird that Bin steps behind her, semi-casually wrapping an arm around her waist. “Don't do anything crazy.” Is all he says. She’s so busy getting ready to question how much he’s had to drink and what the fuck he means that she doesn’t notice when Felix approaches. Felix clears his throat and stops an awkward distance away. 

She acknowledges him by meeting his eye but doesn’t break Bin’s hold. 

“Felix.” Bin doesn’t hide his ire. Apparently, things haven’t been as smooth as he’s been telling Barbie it has been. She makes a mental note to bring it up later. 

“Long time no see, huh?” He attempts a laugh, but it falls flat.

B scoffs. “And whose fault is that?”

Bin squeezes her waist, a warning. She ‘accidentally’ steps on his foot in response.

“How are you?” He looks straight at B. He almost sounds…genuine. She contemplates giving him a real answer. Changbin answers before she can say anything-“We’re fine.” 

Felix goes silent. The moment stretches, long and very awkward. It’s becoming more and more uncomfortable with each blink, and B prepares to just walk away before Bin decides to speak up. 

“Who’s your friend?” He gestures to the woman pretending to look around the room. Felix reaches for her hand, and she smiles, interlocking their fingers. She’s pretty. Like, really pretty. Between the two of them, B’s not exactly sure who she should be looking at. 

“This is my girlfriend, Aila.”

Changbin’s grip on ‘his’ girl tightens. 

I think I’m gonna throw up.

[takotakigum]

star — itoshi sae.

characters: itoshi sae × gn!reader

warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, established relationships, heavy codependency, burnt out sae, word vomit, sae is an idiot that’s too in love, and sae who’s emotions are all over the place.

word count: 2.3k

synopsis: the world itoshi sae once envisioned is so hazy, barely non-existent anymore. and it’s all because of you.

note: the nicknames/callsigns "mi amor" and "mi vida" mean "my love" and "my life".

aged up characters | please read at your own risk!

my singular interest is becoming the best in the world—is something itoshi sae remembers saying to someone with much conviction.

oh, how he lies.

sae reminds himself to never let his mouth speak such nonsense driven by his now crippling ego. sae wants to go back in time, tell that stupid interviewer that he doesn’t care about being the best in the world if it means being the only one in your universe.

itoshi sae fell in love, to put it simply.

his singular interest is you. it doesn’t matter when, where, or what happens—it’s only you, the one and only other piece of his dull soul. when sae loves you, he feels it overwhelmingly all over him, too. he feels his body tingle with tenderness, he hears his breath shudder when talking to you, and so much more. at first, it was weird. although after a long run? it became addictive.

he longs for you in every way, even if you’re already his. sae doesn’t quite understand why, but he also feels like it also doesn’t matter; because he deeply misses your soft giggles that warm his neck when you’re too close to him, he misses your scent—fuck, he misses everything about you. so, naturally, sae feels like his heart is being ripped apart with every flight he has to take back to spain. during many occasions, sae almost begged you to go to him: interlocking your hands together until he reaches the entrance of the airport, not bothering to let go until you have to pry yourself away from him; and even staring sadly into your eyes with the faintest pout on his lips.

perhaps—no, sae is fairly certain about this—being away from you is one of the most agonizing things he has to experience in this life of his. sae wishes to curse his soccer team, his manager, or even anyone who arranged such a game far from home. or rather, far from you.

you’re so far away; he’s in his lukewarm apartment in spain, while you’re in your homey abode in japan. it sucks in his bedroom here. it’s awful, boring, and you-less. his bedsheets are soft, sure, but nothing will compare to the feeling of hugging your waist and burying his face into your soft skin. he takes a deep breath—it could be that he’s merely dreaming this boring setting, when you’re really lulling him to sleep—that’s why he’s stuck in it, yeah. yeah no…fuck, again, sae misses you far more than his patience could handle.

tiredly finding his phone on his mattress, his hands find its way to your contact in an instant, and he calls you. timezones be damned, because sae can’t take it anymore.

“shit,” sae feels his lips twitch, wanting to let an amused breath be heard by you over the phone. “uhh…hello?” it seems that only now do you think you’ve picked up the phone, voice dry of sleep.

“i love you.”

“huh?”

“i also miss you.”

“sae?”

“hi,” sae’s voice is muffled by his pillow, his face burning up as it still hasn’t adapted with his slippery tongue pouring affection onto you. “what’s wrong? it’s…uhm, 4am here, you know?” your voice is much clearer now, and it’s accompanied by a loose giggle into the phone’s speaker. sae knows you have an answer to your own question, he’s that obvious. “mn. sorry. i-” sae’s heart beats louder and faster when he hears your giggle once more become a tune to his ears. “love me? miss me?” you complete his thoughts, and sae holds onto every second of it. he hums quietly, nodding guiltily even if you couldn’t see it. “‘s okay calling me, sae. but i’m a bit sad right now.” your voice acts, and sae practically sits up his bed, phone pushing harder onto his ear to hear what’s happening.

“did something-”

“mhm, i was dreaming about you, and then…you woke me up.” you groan rather loudly, however, easing some weight on sae’s shoulders. “sorry for that too, mi amor.” he apologizes like he’s committed a sin; although deep in his heart that’s all for you, it probably is considered a crime. “fine. but do know that it’s suuper unfortunate.” sae’s heavy sigh of relief widens the smile on your face. god, the tension of amusement on your end is enough to be felt by sae—who knows what sae would do to see you with that pure smile right now.

“is it really unfortunate now? was the itoshi sae in your dream better than me? your real boyfriend, speaking to you right now?” instinctively, sae pouts as his eyebrows twitch to furrow, hoping for the answer his childish self wants. “hmm,” sae’s jaw slackens in disbelief, did you really have to think about it? his pout worsens, he can’t believe you had it in you to tease him when you’re probably half asleep, although, he may or may not really mind. “i like the sae in my dream better, maybe.” sae now scoffs, rolling his eyes pathetically. “mi vida, why are you like this?” sae questions, but that doesn’t particularly matter. at least, not when despite anything your personality gives him, he’ll accept.

“aren’t you curious, though?” you continue to tease.

“hmph. of course i am.” and sae’s adoration for you continues to indulge.

“remember when you took me on our first date?” your voice goes softer now, fond of the memory and storytelling. “do you think i’d forget?” how could he, though? how could sae forget how he regretted planning such a boring date—all because he didn’t think he’d fall into such a deep trench to love you? “c’mon, don’t be so down now, sae. it’s a good dream, promise.” it’s most likely, because as you’re thinking of the words to say, sae hears your covered yawns consecutively.

“felt like i relived our first date, you know? really nostalgic. we were walking out of the convenience store late november with a bag filled with your favorite popsicles.” your dream is spot on already. sae’s heart beats a little faster again. “then, we went to your favorite spot by the sea. it was extra cold, too. but we still ate the popsicles.” you laugh, warming sae’s thoughts as he reminisces about the chilly winds of the evening that you dared not complain about. instead, sharing countless of frozen popsicles sae still feels numbing his tongue with the kindest, most precious smile he’s ever seen.

“yeah, i remember that. why’s the sae in your dream better, then?” you’re a bit silent, as if unsure of what to explain.

“mi amor?” you only hum, still thinking about it, it seems.

sae gulps slowly—anxiously. because sometimes, itoshi sae wonders deep in his complex emotions that he’s weary of.

“mhmm, i’m still here.”

sometimes, itoshi sae wonders why out of all the people that could’ve and should’ve treat you better, you decide he’s the one.

“it’s just that, i guess i missed having you around right beside me? ah, but i think i’m just speaking nonsense, it’s almost past four thirty.” you don’t spout such things as nonsense, anything you have to speak about, sae withholds with utmost seriousness.

right now, itoshi sae is at that spiral of sudden insecurity.

“you- i’ll go home as soon as i can.” sae mutters, voice wavering as a part of him is scared. of what? losing you? a bit childish, still. he knows you’ll understand, everything and anything he’ll go through. it’s why he fell in love so deeply in the first place. you’re the first person to give him back the amount of love he never knew he was even capable of. don’t leave now: his heart whispers.

“sae, wait,” he can’t hear you, at least, not when his senses are fully enveloped in the listing of available flights back to japan as soon as possible—at 2am in spain in a bit looks promising enough for him.

“sae, listen to me first? you’re not going back here yet, you still have a game next week.” you remind him, but sae doesn’t care. “that doesn’t matter, current team i’m with is pretty shit. anyway, i miss you a lot, too. so it’s alright.” sae feels his stubbornness root from his core and out all across his body, and he feels guilty.

“itoshi sae.” just before sae could click his booking of the plane ticket, your stern voice halts his actions. a thin coat of sweat heats his palms as he fidgets with one finger. “mad?” he asks, throat clenched. “no, not at all. just, let’s talk, okay? promise me you’ll listen.” sae hears movement from your line, you’re probably beyond serious right now, sitting up on your bed, back resting on your headboard as your eyes look at the ceiling. “…sure.” it’s a promise.

“you know why you’re in spain, right? to pursue your dream—your passion, sae.” he wants to shake his head and deny everything, he wants to tell you to not continue any longer, because eventually, sae wouldn’t even know what to answer. “and i’m here back home, because i also have my dreams here. you understand that, don’t you? you miss me, and i miss you—that’s so normal, because i love you and you love me back, right? you’ll come home when you can, but not now,” why? is something sae wants to ask. “not now when your goal is right in front of you.” no—you’re not right on that one. “you don’t have to forfeit anything related to your dreams for me, you know that. i’ve told you that, yet you’re still as stubborn as ever, huh?” you let out a breath, your voice is neutral yet still heavy of sleep in hopes to reach him.

sae isn’t giving anything up, truly, he is not. his career from soccer has already gone shit, anyways. ever since he’s given up being the worlds best striker, he’s felt empty; trying to compensate with his new, still shitty, ambition of being the best midfielder there is. realistically, sae can’t give anything great up when everything is already lukewarm in his life.

however, in this life of his with only you matters; when the circumstance is him defying you as his sole dream—then, he has nothing to lose.

“i would quit football for you.” sae whispers, shocking not only you, but himself at the bluntness.

“you wouldn’t.” sae knows he shouldn’t, because you wouldn’t like that.

“i would, if you wanted me to.” rationally, he’s an idiot to say such things. because all his life, itoshi sae has been so inhospitable, never understanding certain lengths people would go through for another. all his life, he’s never felt like this. the version of himself three years ago—the him who stated that he has no other interest aside from being the best in the world—would curse him off, never to accept this current state of his. even though sae knows how to act, he throws out all that rationality when it’s you he’s thinking of.

to quit soccer for you? he would fucking do.

but is it for his own selfishness? he doesn’t know.

“i don’t want you to.” he knows. your voice a tad bit disappointed at him, and he’s a tad bit disappointed at the answer. “you can’t just throw everything out for me, sae. i wouldn’t like that.” reluctantly, sae closes the tab for booking flights with your low voice looming over him. “why? would you rather me be in spain for who knows how long?” sae tries to humor, although his voice falls far too seriously once more.

“i’d rather have you here with me. but…” sae’s breath hitches, clutching on his phone harder, eyes moving too much.

“but?” please, his heart begs, be something he’ll want to hear. tell him to go back to japan, tell him to leave everything behind in spain. please, his heart begs again. again. and again.

“hm, not if it means you giving up something you’ve worked hard for in the very beginning. that would be a waste, no?” fuck—how many times will his mentality scream at him? it’s not a waste. nothing is a waste for you. if him abandoning his career means being with you for as long as you allow him to, then it’s okay. if you being with him means he certainly has something to love and hold up to, then it’s beyond okay.

“mi vida, i-” sae lets out a shaky breath, he doesn’t know anymore. the corners of his eyes burn, and it starts to warn him of tears. “mi amor, what’s really wrong?” you answer back, voice so clear it makes him look to his side to see if you’re possibly with him in spain. now, he thinks you’ve pierced through a barrier sae never realized has been built. it crumbles, almost instantly, too, and sae confesses the first thing eating at the back of his mind: “i miss you so much. i want to go back, it’s so lonely here.” because you’re not here, is what sae wishes to express further.

“are you tired?” now, sae understands a part of him better. through the years of dating, he’s subconsciously relied on you for anything and everything. what matters to you is his guide on what should also matter to him.

itoshi sae, now understands that your love and care for him is one of the sole basis of his composure.

“very much.” his voice is so fragile, and sae hates how he’s aware you’re aching for not being there to physically comfort him and his collapsing mental figure.

he’s desperate, so please, do something about it. his body pleads entirely now, tears frantically pouring down his face with nothing to solace it. you hear him sniffle, hiccup—everything. you hear it. you wish you understood the underlying need of his, but he wouldn’t blame you if it were a bit later, as well. because sae only now discovers just how far the roots of his distress reaches.

“i see. then, come home, mi amor. i’ll be here waiting for you.”

© takotakigum | do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works.

[marshallsgirl]

i just wanted to request something 😭 can we get a long ish fic that’s angsty?? like can we get some arguing and then some good smut?? love ur fics btw 💗

Don't leave me

Pairing: Eminem x Fem¡Reader

Warnings: 🔞 MATURE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Recommended song: Sacrifice-Black Atlas feat. Jessie Reyez.

Author's note: I don't know exactly what is this but I hope you all enjoy it. I love you guys so much! Sending all of you a warm hug🫂🤍

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

"Did you sleep with her or did you...Did you just kiss her?" I asked him. I was so scared to hear the answer. I couldn't believe I was having this kind of conversation with him again. I still remember that time like it was yesterday. That time when he told me he was leaving me cause he wanted to marry Kim. I was a complete mess. I was feeling persistently sad for months.The next year he got divorced and came back to me. I forgive him almost immediately because I was so in love...Damn it! I'm still in love with him. I helped him and he went to rehab. Here we are, he is healthy now thank God but now...Fuck, now we are at my house. He wanted to talk to me about something important, something that happened with Kim. Oh, man I feel this is going to be really painful. I'm just so stupid. I want to stop loving him.

"I slept with her" he answered.

Here we go.

"Fuck! Okay, alright!" At first I didn't feel any pain but instead I was feeling really angry. I wanted to punch the wall.

"Listen, maybe this is how it has to be. She is the mother of my child. We need to try to do the right thing for Hailie, you know. But, hey listen I love you..."

"Shut the hell up, Marshall! That's not love!"

"No! you shut up when I'm talking to you! Y/n, I went to her cause I was too angry with you!" he said trying to grab me by the arms, but I managed to wriggle out of his grip each time.

"I was angry with you, Marshall! You know how much I want to be a mom and you saying no to me made me really sad and angry. I'm sorry if I lost it! I went mad, I know. But I was angry with you! You are always leaving me, Marshall!" I yelled.

"I fucked up, I know! But I'm here trying to apologize to you and I want you to know that...Fuck, I do love you y/n" he replied.

"Stop saying that shit, you don't love me. You never...Marshall, stop you are making me feel like shit. I fucking hate you!" I was crying now. There is no way I could ever hate him and that makes me even more angry.

"Y/n, I hate to do this shit. I know I need you. Fuck! You've always been there for me when I needed you. But you have to understand!" He said.

"I can't believe you are doing this" I said still crying.

"Why can't you be happy for me? Y'know what? don't think about me, think about Hailie. I'm doing this for her happiness. Why can't you see that?"

Of course I was happy for Hailie, she is an angel. I loved her a lot. But couldn't stop thinking how much it hurts me that Marshall is not thinking about me. Not even a little bit.

"Y'know what...it's just fine! I don't fucking need you, so get out!"

"Y/n"

"Marshall, fuck-I'm..." I couldn't control my tears. "Leave right now!"

"Y/n, you don't want me to leave" he said chucklin.

"I want you to get the fuck out of my house right now!" I yelled but he didn't move. "Marshall, leave now!"

"Alright!" I saw him walk to the door and I couldn't control my mouth and I said:

"fuckin' asshole!"

"Fuck you!" He said before slamming the door. I was about to go to bed and cry more when he came back. He is unbelieveable! Why is he doing this!?

"Hey, let's talk like adults!" He proposes with a strong voice. He's standing right in front of the door with his back turned to it.

"Now you want to talk? Y'know what? Fuck you, Marshall!" I say walking towards him while I try to push him to get him out of the house. But he doesn't budge and he surprises me when he grabs me by my forearms. I stare at him in shock, his eyes darkening as he holds me close. He's putting pressure onto my skin, tight enough not to let me twist out of his hold. I hold his gaze, not showing any weakness but it's hard when he stares at me with so much intensity while he's so close to me. "You're being ridiculous. Get out of my house, you idiot!" I grunt, doing a poor job at pushing against his firm chest that barely budges and if it weren't for the tension in the room, Marshall would probably laugh at me for being weak. "Leave now, Marshall! I won't..."  and just like that I'm being shut up with Marshall's lips. He has crashed our lips together in seconds, barely giving me any time to react as the kiss is aggressive and firm, just like the tension between us is. He's still holding my forearms, smirking into the kiss when he feels that I relax under his touch. It irritates me and it causes another bubble of anger to pop as I start slapping his chest, but he doesn't let me go. I won't deny it. The kiss is good, too good. I don't want it to end but I don't let it show. It'll just boost his ego anyway. He bites my lower lip, gently not cracking my thin skin with his teeth as if to show his dominance, before he detaches his mouth from mine.

"Now shut up." he rasps out.

Once I'm back to my senses, I glare at him and nudge his chest with more strength. Marshall's eyes widen for a moment before a cocky grin appears on his lips. This is a fucking game for him, he thinks he can kiss me and make me shut up which digs into my pride.

"How dare you!?" exclaiming,  I nudge him again. This time, he lets his huge body budge underneath my palms and eyes me with the same smirk that I wish I could wipe off his face. He's so enjoying this. He is no longer holding me as his back meets the hard wood of my front door. "Stop laughing in my face!" I yell, ready to jap at his chest again but with a quick movement, he's holding me by my wrists before that could happen.

"You done?" he chuckles.

Oh, he's devilishly hot and can use his charms very well. He is challenging me with a single stare and attitude. It's fucking pissing me off. He's doing this purposely. Before I could get some words out of my very shocked and open mouth, Marshall is already opening his mouth again.

"Don't act like you didn't like it," he chuckles, thumbs caressing my wrists which he still holds in his grasp. It irritated me that he just shut me up with a kiss. Fuck, I did like it.

"Fuck you," I scoff, "Don't flatter yourself." He nods along my words, cockily chuckling lowly before he grabs my wrists with one hand, the other one holding the back of my head. I could feel my heart in my throat, anticipating his next move as my stomach burns with excitement despite how distant the two of us are. He is kissing me again. Dropping his hold around my wrists, his hands are cupping my cheeks as he slowly backs me. My hands clutch the thin material of his expensive shirt. He's everywhere, tongue exploring my mouth, teeth biting my lower lip and tugging it before he's diving back for a kiss, barely giving me a chance to catch a breath. 

All of my thoughts are gone, mind empty with only one purpose: kiss him back. My own hands are over his back, nails grazing his back that's covered with his shirt and that's why I put a special pressure, causing him to groan. The kiss is aggressive, no matter how many times we've had quick sex or were making out, the atmosphere was never this aggressive and there was never this much tension. He's still backing me, my ass bumping into the back of my couch that's in the middle of the room, thanks to the spacious living room I have. When he pulls away, his forehead leaned against mine, I slowly open my eyes to be met with tongue licking his bottom lip.

"Should I still not flatter myself?" he asks confidently, cocking his brow at me as I glare at him.

"You're so fucking annoying." I remark, not having enough time to even add something as he's kissing me all over again. The kiss is heated, My body heating up from Marshall's lips and touch, a shameless moan escaping my lips. Fuck, my own body betrays me! 

"Marshall," I moan, his mouth on my neck as he bites me into the crook of it. Licking the faint mark of his teeth, he sucks my skin there while a gasps of pleasure resounds from me.

My hand goes between his legs, feeling the hardening bulge and I give it a squeeze, his body shivers for a moment. When I give him an intentional and hard squeeze, his deep growl of irritation is pleasing for me. Marshall doesn't waste time, growing annoyed at the fact I just grabbed his dick knowing it'll hurt, and he turns around quickly. So quickly that I almost get a whiplash, my body hovering over the couch as he bends me over it. Luckily, my arms catch me before my head can bump into it and if it weren't for the awkward position, I'd cuss him out for being so reckless. Surely, there was no real danger for me but it still caught me off guard.

It all happens quickly. First, I feel Marshall's hands on my sweatpants. They pool around my ankles, Marshall's fingers already tracing the hem of my panties. He takes off my panties.They pool around my ankles, along with my sweatpants as Marshall kicks my legs apart. Thank god I'm bent over, so I don't actually stumble from his action. I feel the tip of his fingers brushing against my heat, voice humming at the wetness that coats his fingers. One second he's rubbing his fingers against me, the next second I hear the rustle of his belt unbuckling, following the sound of a zipper before I feel his dick poking my ass cheek. My breath catches in my throat, thighs begging to clasp together so I can get at least some kind of friction. In my current position, it's almost impossible to get some relief.

"What did you say to me? That I should fuck you?" he asks lowly

"What?" I breathe out, not hiding how shaky my voice is. "I did say fuck you a few times".

"Yeah, fuck you"

I feel his dick. He starts pushing in. He always stretched me out, but this time he's splitting me open as I gasp at the sudden pressure of his thick length. He's not extremely quick but not slow either, just enough to surprise me with the pace he had chosen. Filling me up to the brim, I gasp as he starts pulling out before he smacks his length back into me. His thighs slap against my ass as he sets a rustless pace, as soon as he hears moans and gasps leaving my mouth.

"You feel fucking amazing, babe" he said. He delivers a few slaps to my ass and I'm a moaning mess. My body is pulled up by Marshall's strong arms as I bump into him, our bodies still connected as he stops his thrusts. I whine, wishing he'd continue as his hard length is pressing against my cervix. Marshall's fingers tap against my lips and I open my mouth.

"Put them in your mouth." I hear his husky voice

I swirl my tongue against his two fingers and he hums approvingly into my ear. Shivering, he pulls them out before I feel them circling my clit. And his hips are already working as he starts thrusting into me again. Throwing my head back, I lean against his shoulder as pleasure shoots straight through my entire body. It feels so fucking good. My walls wrapping around his dick while his palm is sprawled over my lower stomach. I glance down and I can see him moving inside of me.  I shut my eyes in pleasure. It's becoming too unbearable and he barely started.

"Fuck, Marshall" I gasp out, his hand disappearing from my heat and just as I'm about to complain, he's wrapping his hand around my throat. My eyes roll back, especially when he squeezes my neck and grunts into my ear.

Oh fuck, I'm going to be so sore after this. But I don't regret it and I chase my high. My nails dig into his skin, my body barely holding up as my legs tremble.

"So good." he moan.

He's making me feel so fucking good, my whole body shudders as I approach an intense orgasm. I feel so full that I just couldn't hold it up for much longer. His hand around my neck is just a huge bonus that makes everything more intense. My legs shake as I'm cumming, walls clenching repeatedly around his dick that still thrusts into me. The orgasm lasts long, longer than I thought it would but I'm not complaining. Marshall delivers a couple of harsh thrusts that makes me wince, his hips slapping against my ass for a few times before he's cumming, leaving his seed inside of me. He growls, his thrusts sloppy as he rides himself through the orgasm. Our chests move quickly, our bodies exhausted as his hold on me easens up and I no longer feel him pressed against me.

His warmth is gone as soon as he pulls out of me, my walls aching and heat already swollen, but I love that feeling. I've to clutch the back of the couch, holding myself for balance and support while I'm trying to catch a breath. Glancing at Marshall, I stare at him with my heart painfully twisting in my chest as I watch him getting into his clothes.

"Y/n, you'll always be one of the most important women in my life" he said and then walks away, making his way to the front door.

"Marshall, wait!" I called for him but he didn't look back. He leaves me. My heart just broke. I started to cry. "Don't leave me".

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

I cry a lot. I thought he'll be back. But he's not. He didn't came back.

And the night when I saw the news where they announced that Marshall was remarrying Kim, it was the same night I found out I was pregnant...

[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

Chapter XIX: Time Marches On

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a/n: i can’t apologize enough for leaving yall hanging like that. this chapter is short but i have plans to finish this entire fic, don’t you worry. this is barely proofread i needed to get it posted SORRY!!!!

tags: rockstar!eddie x rockstar!reader, adult content, slight nsfw in beginning, angst, estranged lovers

summary: you and eddie spend a night out

—

Spring 1991

Eddie’s POV

“Hi, I’m Eddie. I’m an alcoholic and an addict.”

“Hi, Eddie.”

“I’ve been clean for about a week now, but it’s been hard. I’ve lost a lot of respect for myself over the last year, and I’m ready to confront that.” The circle of fellow AA members listen respectfully as Eddie rants about the last few months, excluding you from the memory as much as he can.

Finally, someone speaks up. “Do you think this ex of yours would help or hurt your journey?”

Eddie shakes his head sadly. “I don’t know anymore, really. I don’t want to think about that right now.”

—

Your POV

You shouldn’t. To say yes to him would be stupid, damaging, confusing, and stupid. But god, you want to say yes. Though you’ve barely had a drop to drink, your brain is fuzzy, clouded with intoxication, drunk off Eddie’s kiss. His hand is frozen on the elastic waistband of his borrowed boxers, not moving an inch in either direction as he waits for your response.

“Eddie,” You sigh, stalling.

“We don’t have to. I get it. We shouldn’t.”

“It’s gonna hurt us both,”

“Destroy all the progress we’ve made.”

You wince. The more you say about it, the less you can excuse just how stupid it would be. “I don’t think we should. I want to, believe me. But there’s so much to unpack, so much I need to think about. I can’t have you swaying my bias.” You try to make a joke, to get that sad scowl off of Eddie’s lips. He looks up at you, head still level with your naked chest.

“I totally understand.” He nods, shifting to lay back on his side, and you frown at the sudden loss of his warmth.

“Do you want me to go?” You’re suddenly shy. Rejecting a man, Eddie or otherwise, always feels like a trap.

“Only if you want.” There’s no anger, no hurt in his voice, he’s perfectly neutral. His big, pretty eyes scan over your body slowly, but they’re not hungry. It’s as if he’s trying to commit your form to memory, like he knows he won’t be seeing it again.

“I don’t want.”

Eddie snickers, the ice cracking. “Okay. But if you’re stayin’,”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll put a shirt on.” You swing your arm over the edge of the bed, blindly feeling until you grab the fabric in your fist. You feel Eddie’s eyes still on you as you pull his shirt back over your head, wishing you’d been willing to risk it all.

-

Eddie’s POV

“I’m sorry.” He blurts it as you’re tucking yourself further under the covers. “That wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t have even thought to do that.” He tries to read your expression in the dim lamp light, but it’s like you’re speaking a foreign language. “I just, y’know, miss you. I got carried away. I just dumped this huge thing on you then tried to fuck you!” You startle at his exclamation. “God what a manipulative, shitty-“

“Eddie?” You interrupt, and he snaps his mouth shut. “Shut up.” He nods feverishly, miming zipping his lips. “I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions, good or bad. I wanted to, I want to, just as much as you do. Regardless of what you could have said to me, I would have wanted to.” You caress his cheek, and he revels in your touch, no matter how small. “Just give me a little time.”

He perks up at that. Time? As in, the future? As in, there’s a chance? “Time.”

You nod, scooting your body even closer to his, tangling your legs with his, wrapping yourself around him like a possessed vine. In the crook of his neck, you rest your head, and Eddie closes his eyes, focusing on the feeling. He’ll wait for you, as long as he needs to. With each exhale of yours into his neck, he feels himself drift further into sleep, just as your breathing evens out, your weight a comfort on top of him.

—

He wakes up, and you’re gone. Where you’d once lay now hosts a folded piece of torn notebook paper, Eddie’s name scrawled in your handwriting on the front. It’s a short note, but Eddie reads it over and over as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.

Eds,

Thank you for last night, every second of it. I miss you too, desperately, but we need time. I hope you’re willing to wait for us.

I left early before Mama Steve could see us, would’ve said goodbye but you looked so peaceful, so I'll settle for seeing you later. Thanks for letting me find you.

Love,

Y/n

Eddie feels his cheeks burn with each reread. Love. Love love love. LOVE!!!!!! He’s giddy, feeling like a fuckin’ teenager being asked to be your Valentine, or some shit. It puts an unreasonable amount of pep in his step for being so early in the morning. For once, he’s not hungover, not craving a drop. He wants to see you, though, more than anything. “Chill out, Munson. Steel yourself.” Eddie collects his belongings, stuffing them into his duffle before throwing the door open to meet everyone for breakfast.

—

He spots you, looking past the rest of the crew to where you’re sitting with Robin, talking animatedly as she shoves bacon into her mouth. Robin looks entranced, and Eddie can only assume you’re catching her up on last night’s events, and his cheeks burn at the thought.

You spot him approaching, regarding him with a shy wave as he yanks a chair up next to you. “Good morning,” he greets you, then Robin, attempting to keep his voice from shaking with nerves. Something about seeing you now, after what almost happened, has Eddie sweating with nerves.

“Good morning!” Robin chirps, far too perky for this hour. “We were just talking about, um,” She can’t come up with a lie fast enough, and darts her eyes to you for help.

You only roll your own. “Real subtle, Rob.”

“You know I’m awful under pressure!”

“You could’ve just kept it at ‘good morning’!” You turn to face Eddie, your face still soft from sleep, tired from the nights on the road. “Sorry,” you say meekly, “I needed to talk to someone. Unfortunately my best friend has no qualms about her blabbermouth!”

Robin scoffs in mock offense. “This is so not my fault, you-“

“If I may,” Eddie interrupts, “It doesn’t bother me at all. I would tell everyone I knew, if I could.”

This causes Robin to turn on him. “So, why don’t you?”

“Uh, well, it’s complicated,” Eddie starts, scratching his head anxiously. “I don’t exactly know what it is we’re doing, it’s nothing I can explain at this point in time really, there’s a lot that-“

“Boo!” Robin interrupts, throwing Eddie a thumbs down gesture. “We all know you two are in love, isn’t that all that matters?!”

“Whoa!” Eddie exclaims at the same time you shriek, “Robin!” causing her to startle.

“What? I’m just calling it like I see it.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” You shove yourself from the table, abandoning your half eaten pancakes. “I’m gonna go help load the buses. Enjoy the rest of your breakfast. Eddie,” He looks up to where you’re standing, immediately losing himself in your pretty eyes. “I’ll uh, see you later.” And before he can respond you’re hustling out of the hotel.

Eddie turns back to Robin, eyes narrowing at her. “What the hell was that?”

“What?!” She questions through a mouth stuffed with waffle.

“Why would you say that? As if I haven’t scared her enough already, you had to drop the L word on them?!”

Robin swallows thickly before responding, “Hey. I have no clue what else you’ve told them, they don’t tell me everything believe it or not. All I know is that you almost hooked up last night, but didn’t. They didn’t tell me why not, and I asked! But it’s pretty fuckin clear you both wanted to, so of course I’m dying to know why.”

“I’m sure you’ll learn soon enough.”

“They said it was up to you to tell me.” Robin crossed her arms over her chest.

Eddie shrugs. “It’s not something I need everyone to know. I promise you’re not missing out on anything.”

Robin only groans, and shoves another buttery bite into her mouth.

—

Your POV

Steve is double checking his list when you approach him in front of the buses. “Mornin’ sunshine,” You greet him, wrapping your arms around the middle of his stiff torso. “How ya doin’?”

Steve wraps one arm around your shoulders, the other still holding his clipboard. “I’m alright, we’re almost ready to go. You weren’t in your room this morning, you okay?”

You sigh, letting him from your grasp. “I’m good, yeah. There’s some stuff I wanna talk to you about, though.”

“Yeah?” Steve drops his clipboard to his side, turning to face you. “I’m all ears.”

“I uh, well. Eddie and I talked,” you pause, heeding his reaction, but Steve only nods for you to go on. “He told me everything. About New Years, about the meetings,” you watch as Steve catches on to what you’re saying. “He’s getting better, or he says he is. He didn’t drink last night, hasn’t used in weeks. He told me you saved his life.”

Steve gives you a shy smile. “He said that?”

You nod, feeling your own smile widen. “He’s surprised you aren’t bragging to anyone who’ll listen. It’s a huge thing, saving the life of a rockstar.”

Steve shoves you playfully. “Hey, who do you think I am? Like I’m gonna go around parading the fact that my best friend tried to kill himself. I’m not a monster.”

You laugh at his defense. “No, of course not! I just. I guess I still have questions.” Steve gives you a questioning look. “I didn’t see him at his worst, but you did. You watched him fall apart when it should have been me.” You shake your head sadly, unable to look at your friend.

“Y/n, I need you to get a grip.” His tone startles you, and you snap your head up to look at him.

“Excuse me?”

“This isn’t your pity party! You just learned something so serious, so important about the guy you’re clearly in love with, and your first instinct is to wish you’d been the one calling the ambulance?!” The anger in his tone stings your cheeks with embarrassment. He’s right. “I get it, I know that time wasn’t easy for you, either. But you had no way of knowing. You stopped calling him, stopped talking about him altogether.”

“Are you saying this is my fault?!” You’re angry now, too. “Eddie is a grown up, he makes his own decisions, don’t you dare try insinuating it’s my fault he was using.”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyes screwed shut in concentration. “No. No, that’s not what I’m saying. Of course it’s not your fault, but Eddie’s an impulsive guy, with little to no critical thinking skills. He’s not gonna think every little thing through.”

You sigh, defeated. “I just don’t know what to do from here.”

Steve rests a hand on your shoulder, like a dad about to drop a birds and bees talk on his teenager. “Whatever you want.”

“What?”

He shrugs. “You know everything now, right? What’s left?”

“A lot, actually.”

“Like?”

“Like, how do I make sure this doesn’t happen again? How do I trust him? How do I trust myself?”

“Okay, slow down. No one has those answers. You know that, right? You’re never gonna know what you’re capable of until you try. You gotta put the work in.”

You look at your friend quizzically. “Where’d you get all this relationship wisdom? Last I checked, you’re still a bachelor!”

He blushes at the mention. “I may or may not be seeing someone”

“Steve!” You shove him, and he stumbles. “How dare you keep this secret from me?!”

“Sorry! I wanted to tell you but, you’ve been preoccupied!”

It’s not a dig, but you pout at him. “I have been, huh. I’m sorry, I haven’t been that great of a friend lately.

“Hey I get it, I wouldn’t be either if I had the hots for Eddie.”

“What do you mean if?”

It’s Steve’s turn to shove you, sparking a brief wrestling match that ends with him in a headlock.

Steve throws his arm around you again. “You know. You really do drive me nuts. But I put up with it because I love you.”

“I love you too, Stevie.”

“So, what’s the plan now?”

God, what a loaded question. “Guess we’ll find out!” Steve groans, and you cackle before hugging him a third time.

—

You have a few days off in Philadelphia, and you’re ecstatic. There are tattoo shops, record stores, and endless options for good food in the city, and you’re excited to explore it all. The only problem, though, is the person you want to explore with.

“Eddie, over here!” “Right here, Eddie!” “How’s tour treating you?” “Partying hard?” The paps swarm him and his band, seemingly ignoring your presence right behind them. “Great work on the new album, Eddie.” “What was the inspiration behind Sweetheart?!” The questions are shallow, excuses to keep snapping pictures of the front man as he shields his eyes.

“Thanks, guys, I appreciate it. You gotta go, though. My manager’s gonna be pissed.” He laughs nervously, and you fight the urge to catch up to him. “Hope you’ll come see us on Friday.” He adds half heartedly, and eventually they stop following, letting him, as well as the rest of you, to enter the hotel without further disturbance.

Steve makes a bee line for the front desk, leaving you and your bandmates to wait with Corroded Coffin in the lobby. You stand next to Eddie, not too closely to draw attention, but close enough to feel the tension in his shoulders. “Hi.” Your voice is barely a whisper, but Eddie hears you.

“Hey.”

“You alright?”

He shrugs. “Just stressed.”

“You wanna go out when we get settled? There’s some stuff I wanna check out.”

He nods, a wordless agreement, and you nod back. Steve comes back with the room assignments, and you have one to yourself for the weekend. For now, at least. You have a lingering feeling you won’t get much time alone.

—

Eddie’s POV

He waits outside the hotel, a cigarette hanging in his mouth as he watches the nightlife around him. Kids on their way to bars, to clubs, giggling and shouting without a care in the world. Some teens crossing the street do a double take as they pass him, and he hears them talking. “Guys seriously, that was him! That’s Eddie.” He chuckles to himself, still finding himself shocked that people know who he is.

“Hey, you ready?” You step out of the hotel door, onto the sidewalk next to him. You’re in street clothes, a pair of high waisted jeans and a tucked in Bikini Kill shirt, your hair tied up on your head.

Eddie nods, and takes up stride next to you as you lead the way down the street. At first, neither of you speak, letting the silence weigh on top of you as you find your footing. It’s not long though before Eddie can’t take it.

“Where are we going?”

You shrug, like it wasn’t your idea to go out. “There’s a secret show here tonight. It’s way low key, but Robin heard through the grapevine from a very reputable source.” Your words make him nervous. Something about a night out with you makes his skin vibrate. You lead him down another side street, and outside a dive bar, a line is forming, mostly of people around the same age as you and Eddie, mostly wearing what looked to Eddie like his wardrobe in high school. He tries to read a few of the shirts, but nothing is visible enough to give away who this band might be.

You get up to the front of the line, and the bouncer doesn’t even bother asking for an ID. “Wow, Y/n L/n and Eddie Munson. Wasn’t sure if you’d show!” Despite the bouncer’s size, his voice is gentle, kind. He gives you and Eddie a wave as he unclips the red rope, the only obstacle between the street and the store.

“Who are we seeing?” Eddie half yells so you can hear him over the music, following closely behind as you slither your way to the stage.

“You’ll see!” You tease. “I’m surprised you didn’t know about this!” You reach the stage, where guitars and a drum kit are waiting to be played. “Figured you’d be the one telling me about it, actually.” You head to the bar and order yourself a drink, not bothering to ask Eddie if he wants anything.

“You wanna give me a hint?”

You shake your head, straw wiggling in the glass as you sip. “It’s better as a surprise.” You wink at him, and he follows your lead to the stage as the lights dim.

Before anyone sets foot on stage, Eddie’s heart jolts. He recognizes the drum kit somehow, and he feels the knot in his throat tighten. No fucking way. The overhead speakers buzz before a recorded voice announces, Hole In The Wall Club would like to thank its sponsors for putting tonight’s event on. Please remember there is no flash photography inside the venue, no smoking, and absolutely no crowd surfing. Then a loud, electrifying applause rattles the room as Metallica set foot on what is probably the smallest stage they’ve been on in years.

“No fucking way.” Eddie says more to himself, but you look up at him, beaming. “No goddamn fucking way!”

“Surprise!” You giggle, and Eddie has to fight the urge to kiss you right there. You’re right, he should have known about this, but he’d been so distracted by the person in front of him he could barely retain anything else.

They open with For Whom The Bell Tolls, and Eddie launches himself into the mosh pit, limbs vibrating with excitement. You’re close behind, drink splashing as you jump around with him.

—

so so very sorry for how much time has passed since the last chapter. i won’t promise to update regularly but i definitely haven’t forgotten!

tag list: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @bibieddiesgf @gaysludge @eddiesguitarskills @littlepotatobeansworld @poisonedluv @kellsck @m-chmcl-rmnc | send a message to be added🫶

[jeysbvck]

there's still a thread (that runs from your body to mine)

i'm back with another fic!! this one is for the absolutely wonderful & talented zaynee, who not only sent in a prompt, but its also their day today!! happy birthday bff!!🥳❤️ i hope you enjoy this fic but enjoy your day more!!🤭

[smut, 18+, read at your own risk]

taglist; @wrestlezaynia @loki69zowens @crxssjae @nightmare-viper @paigereeder @wrestlingprincess80 @southerngirl41 @alyyaanna @xtripleiiix

word count; 2.8k

summary; Kevin & Sami haven't seen - or spoke to each other for 3 months since Kevin broke it off & moved to Smackdown. That all changes when they're in the same place for the Royal Rumble, & Kevin can't take it any longer.

Sami lay on the bed, atop the sheets, staring up at the ceiling, replaying the same memory that had been on repeat in his mind for months. He didn't just see it when he closed his eyes; he saw it when he was awake too, when he wasn't occupied. Which is why he spent so much of his free time in the gym or working on ideas for his storylines, just so his brain wouldn't be free to think about Kevin. He'd even started crashing with Jey at hotels when they were booked together; the guy was always on. It never seemed quiet enough around him, and it helped Sami. Until Jey fell asleep, and Sami lay in the twin bed next to him, wide awake and his brain began to play the movie Sami hated so much.

Tonight, Sami was in his room alone, and once again, that fucking awful film started to play, and all Sami could do was watch.

"We can't do this anymore."

Kevin's words echoed around the room and into Samis’ ears, like he'd just used a blare horn to announce it. Sami thought everything was great between them. Sure, he felt Kevin pulling away slightly, but he had convinced himself he was just busy. It had been a busy time in the company, so it was a simple conclusion to draw. How hadn't Sami seen this coming? He thought he knew Kevin like the back of his hand.

“What do you mean?” Sami had asked. He'd hoped he was mistaken, that Kevin meant something else; but he knew deep down it was exactly what it sounded like. He stayed on Kevins’ chest, not wanting to move, like if he didn't move, this wouldn't happen.

“I'm going to Smackdown.” Kevin replied quietly. Now Sami was really confused. Why did Kevin going to Smackdown mean they have to break up?

“Okay, so?” Sami questioned. “We can work around that. It's only for a few weeks at the most, right?”

Kevins’ heartbeat quickened underneath Samis’ head. “No.” Kevin sighed. “I'm being traded to Smackdown because Jey came to Raw.”

“Oh.” Sami whispered. He could still feel the way his heart was splintering. “They chose you?”

“Um, they didn't exactly choose me, Sami.” Kevin told him. “I, uh- It was my idea.”

The room began to spin, Samis’ splintering heart now completely broken, he could feel the pieces stabbing him in the chest. He lifted his head off Kevin's chest and stared at the man next to him. ‘You volunteered? Why?”

Kevin stared at Sami, the glint in the red-haired man's eye that Kevin loved so much had been replaced with sadness.

“I- I need space.” Kevin replied, sighing. He knew everything would change after Wrestlemania, especially after they finally fell in bed together after hitting the highest highs of winning the tag titles on the biggest stage of the industry. Kevin had wanted this for so long and tried so hard to pretend he hadn't been in love with his best friend for years; once they had explored each other's bodies in such an intimate way, Kevin was hooked.

They never spoke about it, though. They never spoke about what it meant. They never spoke about their feelings. Both men would have a plan to do so, but whenever they were alone; it ended up in a quick make-out session, some heavy petting, and once in their shared hotel room, they couldn't hold back.

It got too much for Kevin; they seemed to be on the same page, but how could he know for sure? He was too afraid to bring it up, too afraid to vocalise that his love ran deeper than friendship. He thought this was enough, but it was weighing on him, like he was Atlas, holding up the world on his shoulders. Kevin knew Sami looked at him like he was responsible for the stars in the sky, but he also noticed that it was a running theme for Sami. He looked at everyone he cared about with so much love in his eyes that Kevin wasn't sure he was special. He needed space to breathe, and he couldn't do that around Sami. The man took his breath away every time.

“Space?” Sami repeated. He scoffed and threw the sheets off, swinging his leg off the bed. “So, you're leaving me?”

Kevin's heart fractured at those three words. It's what he was doing, right? He wanted to tell Sami that he loved him more than he could ever put into words, but that wasn't fair. He was running away, so how could he profess his love? Instead, he watched silently as Sami stood up. He took in every part of the man's naked form; if this was the way their story ended, he needed every hair, every freckle, every scar, every imperfection that made up Sami Zayn seared into his brain.

But when Sami started packing his bag and pulled the black zip-up hoodie over his shoulders, Kevin scrambled out of the bed. “Wait, Sami, what are you doing?”

Sami chuckled humourlessly. “What do you think? I can't stay here, Kev.”

“No, stop! Please!” Kevin begged, reaching out to Sami, who stepped away from the gesture. “Not like this, just one more ni-”

Sami hauled the strap of the black bag over his shoulder and shook his head. “You did this, Kev, not me.”

“I know, but-” Kevin sighed and sat back on the bed, defeated. “Where will you go?”

“I'll crash with Jey.” Sami replied, turning his back on Kevin, unaware of the tears filling his eyes. “Good luck on Smackdown.” Sami sighed. “I hope it was worth it.”

-

A loud, continuous knock on the wooden door pulled Sami out of his thoughts. It wasn't Jey. He had a very specific knock to let Sami know it was him, and he wasn't expecting anyone; so he ignored it. Until it became more frantic, and Sami groaned out loud.

“Alright, alright!” He shouted, “I'm coming!”

He made the mistake of not checking through the peephole, and he froze when he answered the door, not expecting Kevin to be standing there. It was the first time in four months that he'd lay eyes on him, at least in person, and Samis’ heart raced.

Sami knew he was going to see Kevin tonight at the Royal Rumble. Kevin was on the match card, and Sami was coming back from his break as a surprise entrant. He'd even seen Kevin backstage. He pretended he hadn't, of course, but he wasn't expecting him to be standing outside his room. Sami was very aware he was half naked, in just a pair of sweatpants, his hair still drying from his shower, and as he stared at Kevin, Sami knew Kevin was trying hard not to check him out, which made Sami blush.

“Hey.” Kevin said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Hey, man.” Sami replied. “You're not room service.”

A small smile crept on Kevins' lips, and he shrugged. “I mean, I brought a protein bar?” Kevin replied, pulling it from his pocket, and Sami let out a real laugh, the sound like music to Kevins’ ears as the smile on his face turned into a grin.

The sweet moment was fleeting as Samis’ face fell slightly, as if he'd momentarily forgotten everything that had happened. “What are you doing here, Kevin?”

“Oh, um- I-” He cleared his throat, ready to say whatever came to mind. “I just wanted to say-” He sighed, chickening out and instead saying, “Welcome back.”

Sami sighed. He didn't know what he was hoping for, but he was disappointed anyway. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

He began to close the door but was stopped by Kevins’ palm slamming against it. “Wait, please?”

Sami was instantly transported back to the last time Kevin begged him to wait, and this time, he obliged. He opened the door wider and stared expectantly. Kevin felt the pressure, still feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders, but he refused to look away. He was finally looking into the eyes of the man he loved, and he would keep doing it for as long as he was allowed.

“Well, what do you wanna sa-?”

“I miss you.” Kevin blurted out. He watched as Samis’ demeanour changed, the way his eyes softened, and his shoulders slumped slightly.

“Kev…”

“Sami.” Kevin pleaded. “I know I said we couldn't do this anymore, but I need you. Please.”

Kevin wasn't expecting Sami to fold like a deck of cards, especially not so quickly. But he didn't know how much it took for Sami not to answer the phone when Kevin drunk dialled him or when Kevin texted him at three AM at the beginning of this whole mess. Kevin had haunted Sami this whole time, and Sami wondered if Kevin felt the same way. He thought he couldn't handle opening himself up to Kevin again, only to have to say goodbye again, but now — Sami didn't care. He needed Kevin as much as Kevin needed him.

Sami threw himself at Kevin, his lips finding where they needed to be. Kevin stiffened up, shocked, but he fell into the kiss quickly, melting into Sami as his hands fell on his naked waist, pulling him closer — not that they could get any closer.

“Are you sure?” Kevin mumbled into Samis’ mouth. Sami nodded, pulling Kevin into the room, refusing to break the embrace.

Kevin kicked the door shut, his hands gripping Samis’ waist so tight, like someone was going to take him away. But he also pulled from the kiss, and when Sami whined, Kevin chuckled. “Seriously, Sami, are you sure about this? I know I hurt yo-”

“Kevin, shut up.” Sami told him, his eyes dark with lust. “I'm sure.” 

Kevins’ eyes widened, his shorts tightening at the front as he stared at Sami, his eyebrow cocked, a shit-eating smirk on his face. Kevin licked his lips and pulled Sami back into him — hands desperately clutching at one another, pulling the other closer until their bodies were almost one.

“Why am I the only one semi naked?” Sami asked, breathlessly with Kevins’ mouth on his neck, his teeth nipping at his skin. Kevin responded by untying his shorts and pulling them as far as he could without removing his mouth from Samis’ skin. Sami helped Kevin push the shorts and his boxers down his thighs, then wrapped his long fingers around Kevins’ thick cock.

Kevin gasped into Samis’ mouth, his cock twitching under the man's touch. Sami grinned as Kevin began to rock against his hand, and he gripped his length tighter.

Kevin pushed Sami backwards, right up to the bed, before pushing him down onto the mattress. Sami looked up at him, his lustful eyes so full of love. He'd been wondering if this moment would ever come again if he would ever feel this way again, and now it was happening. He wanted to savour every moment.

Kevin seemed to have the same idea. He raked his eyes over Samis’ body as he lay below him. Noting the extra scars that he had acquired over the months they'd been apart, wondering which matches they had come from, which opponent had added to the painting on Samis’ physique. He watched Sami pull at the strings at the front of his sweatpants and buck his hips as he undressed, completely enthralled by the sight of Sami undressing for him.

He dropped to his knees and took over, pulling the black pants down and over his ankles, before running the palm of his hands up Samis' legs slowly. Sami shivered as Kevins’ hands followed the path of goosebumps up his shins, his knees, right up to his thighs. The tips of his fingers grazed the inside of Samis’ thighs, making him groan at the touch, and Kevin watched as Samis’ cock twitched. He felt his own strain against his shorts, but he ignored it. Right now, it was all about Sami and his pleasure.

He ran his hands over his thighs, lifting himself up further, watching as Samis' face contorted with pleasure. His hips bucked, begging Kevin to touch him in the place he needed the most. His fingers teased the red hair around Samis’ cock, before he slowly wrapped them around the base of his cock. Sami groaned, rutting against Kevins’ hand, throwing his back as Kevin took most of Sami in his mouth.

“Fffffuck, Kevin!”

Kevins’ hands found Samis’ balls, and he massaged them as he let Sami fuck his mouth, his tongue swirling around every bit of the erection it could touch.

“Kev, oh fuck, you're gonna make me-”

Kevin pushed Samis’ cock further into his mouth, and when his thighs gripped Kevins’ head, he grasped his cock with one hand, pumping it with the same rhythm his mouth was making. “Kev, fuck, please!”

Kevin pulled his mouth off Sami, spit threading from Samis’ cock to Kevins’ lips, Sami almost orgasming at the sight alone. “Kev, I need you.”

Kevin bit his bottom lip as he hovered over Sami, the desire shared between both of them. They could see the love the other had in their eyes, and it was clear to the two of them that this was It. Even before the first time, Sami had been head over heels for Kevin. There was always something between them, an invisible red string tying them to each other. The past three months had been hell on Earth, and now it was Heaven.

Kevin inched his face towards Samis’, and Sami sat up, meeting Kevin halfway. The kiss was soft, delicate like butterfly wings, but it soon became more intense — deeper, their tongues almost battling for dominance. Kevin reluctantly pulled away, but the whine that slipped Samis’ lips was worth it. Kevin smirked as he ran his thumb over the ginger man's bottom lip, before he dragged it over his chin and down to his neck, to his collarbone, flicking his nipple before he slipped the hand in between their legs.

Kevin wrapped his hand around his own cock, pumping a couple of times before he positioned himself at Samis’ entrance. He arched his eyebrow, and Sami nodded.

“I need you.” Sami repeated, and Kevin leaned down to kiss him once again as he slowly eased himself into Sami. The redhead was tight, and Kevin moaned, forcing himself to go slow, not to cause Sami even more pain than he might already be experiencing.

“Fuck, Sami, you feel so good around me.” Kevin groaned, making Sami pull the bigger man in by the neck for a kiss. As Sami eased into the motion, he raised his hips, finding a rhythm against Kevins’ own thrusts. Soon, their moans were in sync with their actions, their kiss slow as they rocked against each other.

“Kev…” Sami breathed, his head rolling backwards as Kevin peppered his throat with kisses. “I missed you so much.”

“Sami, oh fuck, I missed you too.” Kevin replied. “So. Fucking. Much.”

Sami groaned, his nails digging into Kevins’ shoulder blades as their thrusts became quicker. “Kev, please, I'm gonna-”

“Sami, oh, fuck. Come for me.” Kevin whispered against Samis’ neck, his hand grabbing Samis’ cock. Sami bucked and moaned loudly as he came undone, Kevin following after a few more thrusts as his name spilled from Sami.

Kevin pulled out and rolled off Sami as he wiped the curls from his forehead. Sami then turned to Kevin and pushed his head under his arm.

“So…” Sami said, closing his eyes as Kevin traced patterns on his bicep. “So,” Kevin repeated.

“Does this mean you changed your mind?” Sami asked quietly.

Sami felt Kevins’ chest rise and fall under him, and he braced himself for the reply. He had always thought he knew Kevin like the back of his hand, but he'd found out the hard way that he might not.

“I changed my mind when I was…you know, breaking it off.” Kevin confessed. “I didn't want to do it, I thought I needed to do it.”

Sami inhaled, and he put his on Kevins’ chest as he pushed himself up. “I understand, sort of.” Sami replied. “I wish you'd just talked to me, though.”

“I know, and I'm so fucking sorry, Sami.” Kevin said, resting his hand atop of Samis’.

“It's okay,” Sami nodded, squeezing his hand against Kevins as he laced their fingers together. “I forgive you, Mon Coeur.”

Sami touched his lips to Kevins softly, smiling at the way Kevin held Samis’ cheek. When he pulled away, Kevin pulled Sami in, their foreheads pressed together. “Je t'aime, Sami.”

Sami smiled and placed his head back on Kevins chest, closing his eyes. He was sure he could feel his heart repairing itself, and he knew that he and Kevin could get through this.

“Je t'aime, Kevin.”

[parkerpeter24]

bloody love . part 2

pairing ➳ peter parker x reader

warnings ➳ hanahaki!au, unrequited love, no happy ending, heavy angst, mentions of cancer, please read at your own discretion.

w.c. ➳ 1.7k

summary ➳ who said love couldn’t kill?

don’t judge me for writing this messily i have my exam tomorrow 🥹

part 1 | part 3 | part 4

“i-i gotta go.”

peter and gwen watched you leave, a concerned look etched over both their faces.

you ran back inside the complex, coughing as you did, a hand tight over your lips. peter followed you, not caring the moment as he followed you into the “girls’ washroom”, ignoring the disgusting looks and comments he got from some girls by the sinks calling him an absolute freak.

when he found himself alone with you in the bathroom, his knuckles erratically tapping the door to your stall, “y/n, what the fuck is wrong?!” he demanded as the sounds of your coughing became prominent, no longer muffled by the palms of your hand, “please open up!”

peter’s voice was starting to sound helpless now. there were those blood drops again as he roamed his eyes around the white bathroom tiles, “it’s not that easy, peter.” your voice sounded from the other side, “p-please go away.”

“is it cancer!?” peter’s heart clenched at his own question, not really wanting to know the answer, “please say it isn’t cancer, y/n.” his voice cracked, repeatedly tapping his head against the door.

you were leaning against the door too now, your back to it. the place filled with silence as your hand slid outside through the gap between the floor at the wood. peter noticed instantly and placed his hand in yours, wrapping his fingers around yours, “it’s not cancer.”

peter felt a wave of relief wash over him but found himself asking, “what is it then?” he waited for you to speak but heard no reply, “please tell me. i need to know what’s wrong.” his grip on your hand never faltering.

“not here.” you pulled your hand back before peter felt you shift, standing up as you did too. you opened the door, finally meeting peter’s warm; and now tear filled; eyes, “i can’t tell you here, peter.”

“w-we can go wherever you want!” peter offered, taking your hand in his again.

you nodded, avoiding his eyes, “my place?”

“okay.”

“you two! my office. right now.” the two of you, as soon as you turned to leave, the met with the fiery eyes of mrs. foster– the principal of your school.

the two of you sat on the chairs opposite the ginger woman who kept going and going about how it is normal for teenagers your age to have urges, but to break the decorum of the school isn’t helping anyone. however, you two were asked to leave with just a notice for the time being.

“your place?” peter asked timidly as soon as the two of you were out of the school building, taking a deep breath when you nodded and started to walk towards your apartment building.

once the two of you were inside your room, you closed the door and faced peter, “peter, please tell me this won’t make things weird between us.”

“nothing could.” peter promised.

you took the brunette’s hand, leading him to sit on the bed. you sad beside him before you started speaking once more, “peter, i.. i have this condition.” peter waited patiently for you to continue, “since two months, i have been coughing up… b-blood and these petals.”

“petals?” peter asked, “w-why?”

“we went to the doctor, and she said that it was a rare condition. i-it happens when you fall in love. unrequited love.” you completed your sentence, letting each syllable settle in.

“what? i- y/n, that’s crazy!” it took peter– the smartest guy in all of midtown– about five to six minutes to understand your whole sentence, “y-you love somebody?”

you nodded, staring at the floor. you could feel his eyes fixated on your and you didn’t wanna risk looking into his eyes.

“who is it?” he asked.

“it’s you.”

to say that took peter by surprise was an understatement. all colour was starting to drain from his face and he processed those two words, “it’s me?” he mumbled.

your eyes brimmed with threatening tears this time, “i-i’m sorry, peter. i never wanted it to-”

“*i* caused you this pain?” peter cut your statement short.

“what? no, no. it’s me, it’s my fault.” you finally looked up to meet peter’s eyes, the same shade of red as yours.

peter nodded, though he could feel the guilt rising up his chest. your fast heartbeat synchronized with his own, an indication that you were as scared and uncertain as him. peter didn’t ask you any more questions. all he did was get up and walk towards your window, “i wish i could love you back, y/n. i really do.” he said before stepping out the window.

you didn’t make any move to stop him, hot tears running down your face.

the moment peter was out on your fire escape, a realization dawned upon him. he wasn’t wearing his spider-man suit. it didn’t seem right walking back inside just to use the door, the brunette sighed and opted for the stairs.

that night on his routined patrol, peter passed by your house but didn’t stop by like he usually would. you weren’t waiting either.

you had stopped coming to school again and peter felt as if it was his mistake. the school seemed lonelier without you, not like he had a huge circle of friends, but you used to be the highlight of his day. he brought you milkshake and in turn you’d promise to get him a pb&j sandwich– like you’d done the previous day– but now you weren’t there anymore.

“hey, pete!” gwen chirped, then noticing the glum look on his face, “everything okay? you didn’t make it to dinner last night so i thought something came up.”

“it’s y/n.” he answered shortly. “she’s not well.”

“oh. what happened?”

“it’s complicated.” peter said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. it was getting colder as the days passed and peter’s mind wandered to how you would always complain about it being the worst weather. you really hated the cold and every time you were at his place, you’d manage to sneak one of his hoodies out of the closet, saying it’s warmer.

“maybe you’d like to talk about it over coffee?” peter snapped out of his daze, looking at the blonde girl in front of him.

“oh, uh yeah, coffee sounds nice.” he gave her a tight lipped smile.

“great, i’ll text you.” she smiled before walking away, leaving peter with his thoughts.

to even peter’s surprise, the thoughts were yours. if this was any other day, he would have jumped in the air and danced his little victory away inside his head, but all he could think about was how you told him that you loved him.

later that evening, peter reached the coffee shop and found gwen already sitting there, waiting for him. he rushed inside and sat across her, “sorry i’m late.”

“oh, no. you’re on time!” she smiled sheepishly, “i was actually early.”

the two of them ordered, feeling an awkward silence settle in. it was never like this, at least for peter. he always found talking to gwen so easy, but everything felt different suddenly.

the palpable tension was cut short by gwen clearing her throat, “so, y/n?” she asked, taking a sip from her chamomile tea.

“what?”

“you wanted to talk about her.” she clarified, watching peter stir the coffee in his cup.

“right. well, yesterday i was over at her place.” he averted his eyes, knowing that gwen would be disappointed he never showed up at her place, “i’m sorry for ditching your plan.”

“you mean our plan?”

“right, sorry.” peter took a deep breath before continuing, “i was with her and she told me… she told me that she loves me.”

“what!” gwen bore the same dumbstruck expression peter expected her to. for a moment it was silent again before she asked, “do you?”

“n-no. i don’t.”

“are you sure, peter?”

it was peter’s turn to stay mute. he didn’t know how to answer that question. he wanted to be clear about his feelings but he wasn’t. the more he thought about it, the more twisted it became.

“i don’t know.”

another week passed like that. peter didn’t see you at school, nor after his patrols. he just couldn’t muster up the courage to crawl up to your window and confront you.

he’d stopped hanging out with gwen too. or maybe it was the other way around, the vigilante wasn’t sure anymore.

it was as if you were holed up in your room all the time. whenever he passed your apartment building, he saw the light to your room turned on but never saw your shadow, or any silhouette moving about.

however, today the case was different. your room appeared dark and quiet, the streetlight peeked into your room through the window just like peter’s curious eyes. he finally landed on your fire escape, one week after the events that led you to confess to him about your love.

the house felt lonely. peter pulled out his phone and shot you a text, then another and two more, asking about your whereabouts, but you gave no reply.

peter decided to ignore it even though his heart was telling him to wait there, frozen at the spot, until you returned back home.

the next day he saw you in school by your locker. he couldn’t believe his eyes, thinking it was a dream. even though he was uncertain, there was a pull between the two of you that led him towards you, his feet stopping only a meter away from you, “y/n?”

you looked up from your locker, lips parting, “peter.” your face remained stoic.

“i- uh, how have you been?”

your eyes turned towards the floor, “i got the surgery.”

“w-what? what surgery?”

“i got the flowers removed surgically.” you closed your locker, clutching the books over your chest almost protectively.

“why?” was all peter could whisper.

“i’m sorry for getting in between you and gwen. now you can be with her.” you gave him a little smile, taking a few steps back, “maybe we could be friends again, peter.”

with that you left.

peter stood there, staring at a ghost of you in front of him, wishing you would come back and hold him in your warm embrace. but that seemed like a distant dream. peter’s chest tightened at the thought of leaving you. a feeling of pain blossomed within his lungs. he gasped for air and coughed, cupping a hand over his mouth.

to his horror, when he pulled his palm back, resting over it was a petal covered in blood.

you left with peter, the pain that your heart suffered through once. and his own that never got a chance to win your bloody love.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist | masterlist

taglist : @httphollands @the-girl-in-the-chair @annathesillyfriend @uwiuwi @spideyspeaches @prancerrparkerr @usergarfields @theglitterymess @quaksonhehe @lowkey-holland @starlight-starks @piscesparker @incorrectsourwolf @wildxwidow @annab-nana @blankspaceblankday @kelieah @arvinsvintage @parkersdahlia @icarusafety @raajali3 @tommyfroggie @saturnpeter @ellabellabus07 @comfort-reads @holland-styles @1-800-starkindustrie

[ramonag-if]

I'm going rude here, so i sorry first. the reason i don't have empathy to Salyra it because when she beg Ahlf to stay with her. She don't care about Ahlf's or MC safety at all and she just want her 'PERFECT' family to still be with her that make me upset and creep me out a little bit. And when i read letter she send to Ahlf beg him to come back it didn't make me feel sad but i feel like she was creepy ex-wife who can't deal with her own issue and when she use MC to bring Ahlf back, Oh god.....that was fucking creepy i want to throw up when i read every letters she send to Ahlf everytime.

Anyway sorry about my lack of manner, it was my feel after i read side story for a long. i just sick for what she doing.

I hope Salyra not going to try get rid of Prince Irus if MC was courting with him

My MC didn't protective to Prince Irus much (i mean she like to protect anyone yes but she don't going to overbearing man that she courting) My MC still forgive Salyra for what Salyra done to her but if Salyra going mess with MC's companions (Prince Irus too) i'm sure My MC going to said some line like 'i believe anyone can redemption but i see what you do to him(Prince Irus) you lost all respect from me, you lost all trust from me too....' to her. I wonder will Salyra still don't get a damn again? also will she angry at Prince Irus because she feel like Prince Irus going to take her daughter(MC) from her?

Sorry about curse and rude word, i hope you doing okay.

You're really not being rude 😋 I don't mind if people aren't fans of the characters I've written - especially characters like Salyra 😅

Feel free to doubt the sincerity of her letters. There's no right way to interpret what she sent to Ahlf - whether it was manipulation, desperation or because she actually missed him. It's up to you and how you view Ahlf's response to her letters and the way he kept the letters a secret from the MC to help you make up your mind.

Salyra can't get rid of Irus because she's not going to risk going against Lamahu (she's made too many mistakes that another one might be the last straw) and also because Irus is the only person who could reasonably hold some sway in Cyre to stop other nobles from continuing what Erlan and Virion have started.

You will get a nice range of mean options because I do love angst so you can tell her off properly during those scenes 😂 And yes, Salyra will view Irus as the person trying to steal the MC away from her, regardless if the MC wasn't her child for many years and made it very clear that they want nothing to do with her.

I'm doing as well as I can be, thanks ❤️️

[angelphone1]

CHAPTER ONE - THE KICK

hiii this is my first time posting my own writing and to be completely honest i'm absolutely terrified! this is my first time trying to figure out a whole project like this and so i am being so hecking brave about it. i'm not sure how much of this counts as whump, but i can promise that there's a loooot more to come :)

if you want to know anything more about the characters or anything then just ask i'd love to talk about them!

there will never be any explicit nsfw in this series, but there is suggestion. it's always a read-at-your-own-risk sort of deal, and there'll be a list of the content at the front of each chapter letting you know if you need to avoid it! i'll try my best not to miss anything

CONTENT: manhandling, violating physical boundaries (not sexual), weird touchiness, dubcon kissing, forced to drink (alcohol)/forced to relapse, (brief) emeto, carewhumper, the mc is a depressed wet cat, lady whump, toxic relationship

------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, you doing okay?" ASTRID asks.

ESMERALDA stares down at her mocktail, watching the ice float around. It's melting. It's already too watered-down to really enjoy; or maybe that's just the nature of the thing. There's no kick. There's no burn. It's just.. juice. ESMER brushes a lock of hair out of her eye.

"Yeah," ESMER says, or maybe lies. She isn't quite sure how true it is. She stirs her drink with the straw. "Yeah, I'm fine."

ASTRID raises her eyebrows, then looks up from her table around the room. ESMER notices the way her gaze lingers on some other girl, with dyed blue-white hair, dressed in a letterman jacket she must have created herself. ESMER can't help but feel a little jealous, as she stares into her melting drink. How come you never look at me like that? She wants to ask. She doesn't.

"Well, you know, I thought this would be, like, fun, but it doesn't look like you're.. having fun."

"I'm fine," ESMER repeats. "Just.. recharging. It's nice. Thank you for bringing me." The words are awkward and stilted. There's a silence. ESMER stirs her drink. ASTRID nods.

"Well, you're welcome. But you shouldn't just.. watch the whole time, you know? You gotta.. put yourself out there."

Put yourself out there is one of ASTRID's favorite phrases. It must be, from how often she says it to ESMER. ESMER might recommend that ASTRID put herself in there, but she doesn't say anything. That doesn't even make sense. ESMER frowns, and brushes a lock of hair out of her eye.

ASTRID excuses herself to "get another drink", but she will not be returning to ESMER's table. She will be putting herself out there, probably talking to that girl, in some sort of illusion that she is prepared for such a relationship, and then they will talk and talk and get on well together, because ASTRID is good at that sort of thing, and then the other girl will lean in for a kiss or say something suggestive, and then ASTRID will get uncomfortable and push away and then they will stop talking, and things will end faster than they ever began, because ASTRID is bad at this sort of thing.

It happens every time. The difference is that ESMER sticked around, for whatever reason. ASTRID is her best friend, but they are too far apart. They are too distant. Her family is nice, but they are even more distant.

ESMER should have stayed home, alone, in her lonely apartment. At least then it wouldn't be so loud. There are too many people here. Who the hell is visiting a non-alcoholic bar on a Friday night? These people, apparently. Well, maybe that's just what people do on Friday nights, but isn't there something they'd rather be doing? Sleeping? Drinking something worth drinking? These places are the worst. If they want to be a bar, they should serve real drinks, and if they don't want to serve real drinks, then what's the fucking point of serving drinks at all?

Sort of sad and angry in a very lonely way, ESMER stands up and abandons her awful drink, and grimaces as she has to walk by so many people. Some of them look at her. Most of them barely glance at her. Thankfully, the bathroom is vacant; at least this place has the good sense to use single rooms.

There is nothing drawn on the tiles. The lights in here are too bright. It makes ESMER want to peel her skin off. She doesn't even really need to use the bathroom, she just.. wants to be alone. She wants to be somewhere else.

It all makes her heart sick. Just sick. She can only imagine who ASTRID is currently with, and then somehow, somehow ESMER is expected to go with her back home, to her lonely apartment, or maybe spending the night at ASTRID's, and then she will have to wake up in the morning alone and walk to work at the cafe alone and go through another twelve-hour shift alone and then walk home alone and then do it again and again and again for the rest of her life.

She loosens her grip on the sink, her knuckles aching, trying not to look at the mirror, brushing a lock of hair out of her eye.

ESMER opens the door, rubbing her eyes, only to be met with an unfortunately familiar face.

"Hey, baby," HEATHER says, slipping inside the bathroom.

ESMER stares at her with wide, wide eyes. "What — the hell are you doing here?"

HEATHER is wearing a sleeveless outfit of black leather, her curly blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders, her massive green eyes boring into ESMER's own. Her mascara is too thick. Her lipstick is jet black. She really looks at ESMER, and then she smiles.

It goes like this:

HEATHER locks the door.

HEATHER takes a step forward.

ESMER takes a step backward.

HEATHER takes another step forward.

ESMER's back hits the wall.

HEATHER presses herself up against ESMER, smiling in a way that makes ESMER's heart ache, even as it attempts to pound out of her chest. HEATHER should not be here. HEATHER was two years ago. HEATHER should not be here.

HEATHER places both of her hands against ESMER's face, wiping away a stray tear. Her breath smells like smoke and strawberry soda.

ESMER finally regains control of her senses, and pushes HEATHER back, still trying to walk further backwards into the wall, like if she tries hard enough it will envelop her and she will not have to be here anymore.

ESMER: "What the hell?"

HEATHER: "Glad to see me again?"

ESMER stutters. Yes. No. Of course. Absolutely not. Fuck no. Fuck yes. She is suddenly, awkwardly aware of her tongue in her mouth and its current failure to cooperate.

HEATHER smiles. She is very pretty. It is hard to look away.

ESMER eyes the door.

HEATHER: "Don't be like that, baby."

ESMER: "Are you fucking drunk?"

HEATHER laughs. "Oh my God. You look so freaked out right now. Oh my God, you're like a little deer in headlights. Just as cute, too."

ESMER isn't sure what to do. Or say. She wants to scream for help. She wants to kiss HEATHER and beg at her feet. She wants to jump off the edge of a cliff. She wants to take a knife and hack away at something. At her stupid heart, maybe, feeling like it's about to explode and take everything in this building with it, feeling like its beating is instead a timer, or a blaring alarm, telling everyone around to get the fuck away right now.

HEATHER steps forward again.

ESMER lets her.

HEATHER, like she's comforting a small child: "Hey." She places her hands on ESMER's hips, pulling her forward into a warm hug.

ESMER clings to her, recognizing that she needs this, just as much as recognizing that she needs to start screaming and running away right now.

HEATHER kisses her on the cheek. (ASTRID has never kissed her. Not even once. Not even on the forehead.) HEATHER looks at her and smiles. (ASTRID has never looked at her the way she looked at the girl with the blue-white hair.) HEATHER brushes away her tears again. (ASTRID has never even gotten close.)

HEATHER pulls away, grabbing something from on top of the open baby-changing apparatus. (ESMER wonders, why the hell is there a baby-changing station in a bar?) It is a clear bottle with something pink inside. She holds it out to ESMER.

HEATHER, smiling: "Look what I brought."

ESMER looks at it. It's alcohol. Of course.

ESMER: "I'm.. not supposed to drink that. I mean — I'm not fucking drinking that." That's better. She should take more initiative. She's not a deer in headlights. She is a grown woman who is currently saying no.

HEATHER: "Awhh, but I brought it just for you. Strawberry lemonade. Your favorite."

ESMER: "Just — why are you even here? I —"

ESMER attempts to get to the door.

HEATHER keeps her from doing so, still holding the bottle out.

ESMER does not take it.

HEATHER marches forward, pressing ESMER back against the wall.

ESMER pushes back.

HEATHER shoves her arms out of the way, getting uncomfortably close.

ESMER opens her mouth to start screaming.

HEATHER shoves the open bottle into ESMER's mouth, pouring the liquid inside. It is sweet and awful and it burns as it goes down. After a few gulps, ESMER gets her senses together and shoves the bottle away, grabbing it for herself, breathing heavily.

HEATHER steps back. She smiles.

ESMER looks down at the beer in her hand. She should throw it away. She should run away. She doesn't want to go back to the way it was. Doesn't she? She needs to get to ASTRID. ASTRID will help. ASTRID will fix this. ASTRID will protect her from HEATHER, like she once did. ASTRID will..

ESMER takes another sip. Her hands are shaking so badly it takes a couple tries to actually get the bottle into her mouth. Just one more. And then another. And then all the liquid in the bottle is gone. ESMER drops it. It clicks, but doesn't shatter. It should have shattered. That would be more thematically resonant.

HEATHER puts her hands on ESMER's hips.

HEATHER: "See? Doesn't that feel nice? Better than that shit that's basically just water, right?"

ESMER: "HEATHER, do you have any fucking — "

HEATHER: "Shut the fuck up."

HEATHER leans in to kiss ESMER.

ESMER lets her.

ESMER kisses back.

HEATHER: "See, baby? This is how things were meant to be. Me and you. Not you and that.. trust-fund yuppie bitch."

ESMER: "ASTRID's not —"

HEATHER: "That's the problem with you, baby. You never learned how to shut up."

ESMER shuts up.

HEATHER laughs. She pulls away, turns, opens the door slowly.

HEATHER: "Wasn't that fun, baby? Aren't you bored?" She smiles. "You know where I live. Come around sometime."

HEATHER leaves without another word.

ESMER sinks down to the floor, beginning to sob. Numbly, she brushes a lock of hair out of her eye.. What is ASTRID going to say about this? She's angry at herself for letting that happen, and angry at HEATHER for being such a jackass, and angry at ASTRID because all ESMER ever seems to think about is disappointing her.

Slowly, she crawls to the toilet, and sticks her fingers down her throat to vomit everything back up. She hasn't eaten in a while, but she doesn't want to deal with ASTRID finding her drunk, when she's supposed to never drink again. It burns just as badly coming up as it did going in. ESMER composes herself, rubs her eyes, trying not to look in the mirror in how badly she ruined her makeup. She'll make up some excuse for crying that isn't technically wrong, like she was just feeling very lonely and fragile, and then ASTRID will apologize and still won't kiss her, and ESMER will continue being alone.

[importantdestinydefendor]

Chapter 130 rambles...

Okay, I stayed up late for this chapter so many of my first thoughts are gone, lost in the world of dreams, BUT I still want to try to form any coherant sentences.

Which is hard this chapter becaue when i read it my mind just goes blank. No thoughts behind those eyes lol. Warning: a lot of pictures!

Anyway (spoilers ahead! Read at own risk)

Possessed Innocentis still giving me the creeps eww

NOOOOO not the soldiers that guarded Innocentis!

Like that we are still at the falling stage and have yet to hit the ground (this sounds horrible jesus)

THE REACTIONS OF THE THREE samesies

The panel with the Lusitanian unifrom (is it a unifrom???) just haning there ragged - oof that was a red herring right there! I was convinced that something awful will happen to Estelle...

Aaand we cut to this! The placment of the helmet! Their faces!

I will spare you the image of Innocentis and Amdragoras mangled bodies. @tired-reader-writer has it in their reaction post if anybody wants to see it.

The way Arslan reaches for the helmet! How we can't clearly tell if it is happiness (least likely - thats just not his character) or sadness (also not really likely in my opinion) or just pure shock (most likely)

okay, Elam calm thy self! Because if you say that now then it will most likely not happ-

aaaand I was right!

Eww get back, get back, get back! Do NOT come ANY closer!

The way Elam and Daryun immediatly get into action! Same, Alfarid, same!

~Andragoras, you are a hypocrate and delusional~ You were a shit king and your court was also full of shit. Being a king does not only require to be strong. Maybe you should have listend to Narsus instead of stroking your ego, ey?

Yes, Arslan! Tell him (again)! He will still not get it but tell him!

Oh eh, he-hello Tahamenay...

Oh, why is that momet so fucking tender? It seems he did actually love her...?

Aaand it is over... serves you right, Andycakes!

Love Tahamenays face here. The pure desperation and hatred...

I also like that he slowly excepts his demise and hugs her one last time before dying... Ugh I am a sucker for tragic romances (here one sided though) and the last hug... GAH

The faces of everyone! Alafrid is me through out this entire chapter for real!

Ugh Tahamenay! I have never fell more roller coaster feelings for this woman since her talk with Arslan! You are now free!

Estelle!!!!! No baby don't falter now!

Alafriiiid! My baby, my cutie! I will die for youuuu!!!! (I will put you through so much shit in my AU, I am sorry)

This panel... It makes me feel so dejected...

The citizens stopping Estelle... There is noboy at fault (except the racism against Jaswant. Not cool, guys!)

FARANGIIIIS! My queen to the resque!

The way my heart sank when Estelle opened the door and there was nobody...

And they were save afterall! Thank you, three boys whos names I forgot (sorry)

Oh the news are spreading like wildfire!

Love the different reaction shots! And the diferent levels of emotions! (also side note: Zandeh looks really good here...)

aaand here we go! Straight to hell... here I had hoped that we get at least a little breather...

FUCK NO! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ISFANT AND KUBARD!

That is NOT Shapur, you two! RUN!

I had such a jumpscare. I was awake and tired at the same time.

No thoughts about my AU this time. Maybe some reaction scenes from Farzin and his army? Will defenitly wait until the kidnapping of Alafrid and Gieve here. Alfarid is way to important right now to just... yoink her from there.

OH! What if the do the same with Vahriz as they are doing with Shapur!? CHABIK REACTION SCENE OOOOOOH!

[liesmyth]

Okay but when John says "all of them" in response to "how many babies died" I think like, there's also some tragedy in the fact he's probably not lying at all. Like, obviously everyone died when the bombs went off, but what about the resurrection? I think it's like, extremely possible that John just didn't really bring back anyone other than adults. We're shown that even with his godlike powers there are limits, and Harrow especially I think gives a hint children might be one of them. He seems more in awe about what Harrow's parents did than anything, he talks about how he tried doing it and failed, and I think he feels some regret about his abilities.

We're only given a small idea of what life is like after resurrection, but from what we understand it's a lot of learning and a lot of weirdness. Additionally like, kids and babies have weirdness. They have parts of their brains that need to change levels depending on the lifespan, they have hormones that need to start more and stop more as they get older. They have bones that are soft bones that merge together and bones that form. We also know small scale is where God has some trouble, like being able to stop tumors but not blood cancer

I think it's really likely that John didn't attempt to resurrect kids, or was unable. He didn't want to put newly resurrected people in caretaker positions, he didn't want to risk messing up or causing problems. I think it's likely that later on he even tried, and just outright failed and has some guilt over it

My personal head canon is that he might have even tried to create a kid for himself in the past. The way he specifically calls out what Harrow's parents did as something he knows the logistics of tells me he's probably thought of it. My like, theory is that while he was killing planets and stuff he at one point attempted to try and use the bloom to create a kid for him and Alecto or to resurrect kids, and just had no idea how to make it work SO yeah TLDR: I think God talking about how all the babies died has actually some guilt on John's part, and ties into his guilt he angrily refuses to release himself from. Both that he's potentially unable to resurrect kids, but also that he was potentially unable to make a kid of his own like Harrow's parents did

THIS FUCKED ME UP. THANK YOu.

Ok. Listen. I actually never considered "he couldn't bring back children" before (or "he tried and went horribly wrong") but this is a 10/10 chef kiss heartbreaking headcanon. Terrible. All of them. Wow

Also. I lowkey think that John's bone crown is made of baby fingers specifically for a purpose, and IMO it's as a reminder to himself. I know this is somewhat #controversial, but I really don't read the baby bone crown as an Evil Symbol of Evil — House culture seem very much to be pro carrying around bits of your dead. I think it'd be a very John thing to make a symbol of office out of the dead children of humanity, and then interpret it as a memento to himself that there can be no forgiveness, as long as I have breath in my body etc, instead of a reminder that he shouldn't fucking nuke a planet. Anyway, I think the bone crown is, like, 40% a way to show respect to the dead and 60% because he thought it looked cool.

(Doylistically, the bone crown absoluely exists because Taz thought it looked cool)

Anyway. Before seeing this ask, my personal interpretation of John's familiarity with the details of what Harrow's parents did is that he understands the mechanics because resurrecting humanity + necromancy involved using some of that death energy, and possibly souls as fuel, to introduce necromancy to humanity. I'm not married to this theory because IMO if John had been able to pick and choose who was to be resurrected as an adept, we wouldn't have ended up with quite the same necro/cav pairings, but I'm not married to this guess either... it's just a whole bunch of guessing. Now this sad headcanon rerooted my brain so I'm again Considering Things

[ravens-words]

The Secret Relationship AU

AN: I wasn't going to post before it's finished, but I thought this might be the push I need to finally finish it so here we are. Thank you in advance if you read. I will love you forever if you reblog/reply. Hope you enjoy!

-

Now

-

"Is everything okay with you and Eddie?"

When Buck looked up from his phone, Bobby was sitting on the bench next to him, and he was waiting expectantly for an answer.

Too bad Buck didn't really have an answer; not a truthful one anyway. "Of course it is, Cap. Why do you ask?"

Bobby shrugged. "You two seem to be avoiding each other; it's been happening for the past couple of days. I just thought I'd check in."

Buck tried to appear nonchalant. "Nothing's going on, cap," he was short with him, even though he hadn't meant to be. He wanted this conversation to be over already.

"Buck-"

"Look, Bobby, we still work together just fine. We're professional, right?"

"Yes, but that's not what I'm talking about."

He slammed his locker shut, grabbed his duffel and looked his captain in the eye. "That's all I'm willing to talk about, Bobby. If it starts to affect our work, tell me, otherwise- just leave it."

Bobby didn't say anything, didn't react much save for a short nod. It made Buck feel guilty. "I'm sorry, Bobby."

"Don't be, kid. You're entitled to your privacy. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Tears filled his eyes, and Bobby seemed to notice. The older man sighed and stepped forward, both hands settling on Buck's shoulders. "It's okay, kid," he assured him, a small sad smile on his lips. "Just know I'm here and I'm willing to listen, okay?" At Buck's nod, he patted his shoulder and stepped away. He stopped at the doorway, and called his name.

Buck wiped his face roughly, then turned back to him. "Yeah?"

"Whatever it is, it's gonna be okay. You two can make it through anything. You've proven that more than once."

Buck wished that were true.

-

Then

-

"Can you please get it over with?"

Eddie clenched his jaw, but didn’t spare him a glance as he kept looking ahead. His hands were tight on the steering wheel. Buck closed his eyes, let his head rest back against the headrest and winced. He was dizzy, his wrist ached, he had a blinding headache and he really needed his bed. Having an argument right now was at the very bottom of the list of things Buck needed right now, but Eddie giving him the silent treatment was somehow worse.

"Eddie-"

"Not now, Buck," he cut him off, harsh and incredibly cold.

"Fine," he sighed.

"Fine," Eddie bit out.

-

After his fifth failed attempt to unlock the door, Eddie wordlessly pushed him aside and unlocked the door. He used his own key, and Buck couldn't stop staring at it, and at Eddie's hand, his long fingers. He shook his head, winced at the pain that shot up through his skull, nearly blinding him, and held onto the wall for support.

When he thought he could open his eyes without throwing up, he found Eddie watching him, thinly masked concern written all over his expression. It cleared when he saw Buck looking, and the anger was back. He went further inside the apartment, leaving Buck to trail after him, and got himself a glass of water.

Buck sighed. He didn't think drinking water could be aggressive, but Eddie proved him wrong.

"Eddie."

More aggressive chugging.

"Eddie."

"What?!" he snapped.

Buck felt his hackles rising. "What's going on?"

Both of them were breathing heavily now. Eddie was quiet for a few seconds, then- "are you gonna keep doing this?"

Buck could act like he didn't know exactly what Eddie meant, but he didn't have the patience. "Keep doing my job, you mean? Yeah, Eddie, I do."

"Your job? You- you could’ve gotten out earlier, you could have avoided having a fucking building fall on you."

Buck's anger was a real, living thing inside of him now. "You'd have done the same, Eddie. Hell, you have. It's our job to put our lives at risk."

Eddie shook his head. "No, it's not. Not like that, not like today."

They were standing face to face now, both angry and afraid. There was something electric in the way Eddie was looking at him, like something had shifted. "When you cut your line, three years ago, did I hold it against you? Did I ever bring it up? You risked your life then, just like I did today."

"That was different," Eddie told him, the words escaping through gritted teeth.

"No, it wasn't, and you know it."

They stared at each other, anger slowly seeping out. Buck took a minute to look at his best friend, and he found that now, all that remained in the other man's eyes was fear. "Eddie-" he started, cautious and quiet.

"I'm sorry," Eddie said, just as quiet, "you're right." He looked away, scrubbing a hand down his face. "You scared the hell out of me today, Buck."

"I get that, but you've never- you've never been this angry about it before, so- what gives?"

Eddie looked at him in a way that made Buck think he missed something. Eddie took a step back, hands in his pocket. "I'm gonna take off, do you need anything?"

Buck blinked, startled at the abrupt change. "I thought you were going to stay."

"Change of plans," he told him, looking down at his phone, "Bobby can come keep you company. I'm pretty sure he wanted to come anyway-"

"You always stay," he didn't mean for it to, but the words sounded small and a little betrayed.

Eddie's fingers faltered, and he looked up before he could send the message. "Buck, I can't-"

"You can," he insisted, "why won't you just talk to me?"

He tried to move around him, but Buck refused to let him. "Buck, not now."

He didn’t budge. "This isn't the first time I've done something reckless, and it's not even the worst, so why are you acting like this?" He asked him, throwing the hand that's not in a sling in the air.

"I don't fucking want to lose you, okay?!" Eddie burst out, face red and fists clenched. "You died three months ago. Right in front of me, and I couldn't do a thing about it. Before, there was always this part of me that was used to it- you get hurt, but eventually, you're okay. But now- now all I can think about whenever you do something stupid is those three minutes and seventeen seconds you were dead."

Buck softened, and his eyes filled with tears. "But, I'm okay. I'm alive, I'm breathing."

"Maybe you are but- I'm not, Buck. I'm holding my breath, because all I can think about is the time your luck will run out, and it's fucking inconvenient."

Buck's too stunned to speak, but he tries anyway. "I don't- I don't know what to say. Eds, I'm sorry that it scares you," Eddie flinched at this, but Buck went on, "but this is me. This is how I've always been."

"I know," Eddie told him, "this is on me. It's my problem, Buck."

"Tell me how to fix it."

"You can't," he told him, "and you don't have to, because it's not on you."

"Eds-"

He took a step back. "It doesn't matter. I gotta go," he said under his breath as he hurriedly gathered his jacket and ignored Buck calling his name.

"What? No, you can't- Eddie, wait."

Buck, all pain forgotten, raced after him. He grabbed his arm just before Eddie managed to make his escape. It's awkward with only one working arm, but Buck yanked him away from the door, and then backed him into it, trapping him between his body and the door. They're closer than he'd intended for them to be, but Buck couldn't bring himself to move away. He and Eddie are both breathing hard at this point, and with each second that passed, Eddie seemed more tense than before. 

He lifted up a shaking hand and cradled Eddie's cheek gently. The other man wasn't really looking at Buck, but a gentle nudge had him looking up and into his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Eddie just shook his head.

That's when Buck noticed it- Eddie was holding his breath. For a second, he felt helpless, but then he swayed closer, and let his forehead rest on Eddie's.

It released some of the tension, had Eddie's shoulders slumping, but not enough. It took a minute, but Eddie finally looked him in the eye, and Buck's breath caught in his eyes.

Eddie's expression was complicated, and though at first it may have seemed blank, it didn't take long for Buck to figure out that it was merely a mask. He took a step closer, his lips only a hair away from Eddie's. He saw a flicker in Eddie's eyes. It was more than concern, more than anger, more than the guarded love Buck had become accustomed to. Eddie's eyes moved down to his lips, then back up, and oh. There was that look again.

Loving.

Desperate.

Hungry.

So Buck made the biggest gamble of his life.

He presses his lips to Eddie's in a short kiss that knocked the air out of his lungs and set him on fire. He pulled away slowly, needing to breathe and to assure himself that he hadn't made the biggest mistake of his life.

When he could bring himself to open his eyes, he looked at Eddie, who was frozen, eyes wide as he stared at Buck. Suddenly, all the warmth he'd felt earlier seeped right out of him and was replaced by horror. He stumbled back a step. "Eddie, I'm sorry-"

Eddie didn't let him finish. He lunged towards him, fusing their lips in a messy, uncoordinated kiss, more desperate than anything else, and framed his face with two gentle hands. It's possibly the best kiss Buck ever had.

They stumbled back into the living room, and over to where his lone arm chair sat. Eddie pulled back from him and looked at the space where his couch, the one he'd picked out with Natalia, used to be.

When Eddie's eyes found his, Buck shrugged. "It wasn't the right couch."

Eddie laughed, low and quiet, then pulled him back in. His  hands roamed his back, restless, and Buck lost time as they traded kisses. He didn't know if they kisses for seconds or minutes, or hours. All he knew was that Eddie's lips were on his, his hands were everywhere, and Buck just wanted more.

So, he stepped backwards, and Eddie followed, lips now migrating towards his neck, his collarbone,  the sensitive skin just below his ear. He unbuttoned his shirt slowly, clumsily and with one hand. Eddie was no help at all as his lips trailed off to bite and suck at Buck's neck. Buck gasped and when he couldn't take it anymore, his hand abandoned its mission to rid Eddie of his shirt, and found its way into his hair. He tugged just hard enough for him to pull back. The look Eddie gave him set him on fire. Buck brought their lips back together, and this kiss left them both gasping for air by the time they pulled back.

"Bed?" Eddie asks breathlessly, and Buck felt a thrill at the words. He grinned, boyish and happy, and Eddie's eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled too.

"Yeah," he said, voice hoarse. Eddie's eyes, if possible, grow darker, and he pulled Buck back in and into another searing kiss.

Buck managed to get Eddie's shirt off, though it took a lot more time than it should've. He had considered just ripping the thing apart, but that would require the use of two hands. Not to mention this was Eddie's favorite shirt.

They somehow managed to make their way up the stairs without falling, which was a miracle considering the fact that Eddie's hands had made their way under Buck's shirt, touch searing and leaving Buck needing more, more, more.

Eddie pushed him to sit on the edge of the mattress, and knelt by the bed. Buck tugged on the collar of his shirt to bring their lips back together, but he just turned his head to kiss Buck's hand as the two of his gently started to undo the sling. Once it was gone, Eddie tenderly held Buck's wrist up to his lips and placed a kiss there, not caring about the bandage covering it. This gesture, more than anything, made Buck's hart sing.

The atmosphere 6changes after that. The tension was still there, so was the desire, but where it was sharper and more frantic, now it was gentle, more patient. Eddie gently urged him to move back and then climbed into his lap. When they kissed this time, it was slow and needy and passionate. Eddie rested his head in the hollow of his throat and took a breath. "Tell me we're not making a mistake," Eddie pleaded with him, hands clutched in the back of Buck's shirt.

Buck coaxed him out of his hiding spot. Their eyes met, Buck's fear and desire and joy reflected back at him. "Does it feel like a mistake to you?"

Eddie closed his eyes. "No," he whispered. When his eyes opened, the doubt was gone completely and he pressed a kiss to Buck's lips. He was gentle when he pulled his shirt over his head and when he pushed Buck to lay down, his movements  impossibly careful. Buck didn't resist. When Eddie dragged the second pillow and stuffed it under his injured wrist, ordering him to not move it, Buck had to laugh gently.

Eddie reeled back, brows furrowed. "What?"

Buck shook his head with a smile, never taking his eyes off him. "Just- I like it when you're bossy."

Eddie smirked, and Buck could tell he was pleased when his eyes darkened at Buck's words. "Oh yeah?" he whisperd the wonrds into Buck's skin,  his forearms bracketing Buck's head.

Buck couldn't take it anymore, so he yanked him down until his body was more or less covering his. Eddie nearly fell off the bed in his effort to keep from putting any pressure on Buck's injured shoulder and wrist.

Laughter bubbled up, spilling out from his lips into the small space between them. Eddie attempts to kiss him, but ultimately failed because they were both laughing too hard.

Once their laughter died down, Eddie pulled himself up, then settled back on Buck's thighs, with his knees on either side of his hips. He leaned down, and Buck watched his every move, biting back a groan when Eddie's lips pressed to his chest, right under his ribcage, then moved down, and down. Eddie's fingers followed the path of his lips down his chest, his touch light enough that it had Buck squirming. His breath on Buck's overheated skin was too much and when he couldn't take it anymore, he grabbed Eddie's chin and drags him up. "You're a tease," he panted into his mouth.

Eddie smirked, opened his mouth to say something, but Buck kissed him quickly before he could.

The kiss caught fire rapidly, and they didn't talk much after that.

[crazyw3irdo]

as someone whos got a romeo and juliet adaptation/sequel on the backburner, i have a question for you: What is your favorite part of this play? It can be themes, a scene, or a character or whatever else! Personally my favorite thing in it, at the risk of sounding cliche, are the themes of destiny and doom. I also like benvolio (totally didnt get him in ur quiz lol)

oooh!! well i mean the obvious answer for me is equally obvious i think lol

i fuckin love mercutio. so much so that even if im watching a version of r&j i don’t care for i’ll stick around at least until he dies lol

he really just cements the tragedy of it all to me. if the story were a romance he’d just be the silly best friend comic relief character, and, aside from the opening narration and a couple fights, r&j really can seem like a romance… up until mercutio dies. his death is a signifier of the tonal shift. the happy-go-lucky guy who brings romeo to a party and cracks jokes just died. you want comic relief? he’s dead.

and of course there’s the fact that he shouldn’t even be involved. he’s not a capulet or a montague. he’s related to the prince. not a part of the families. he’s a casualty. he was a friend to romeo and benvolio- two montagues- and he was invited to the capulet party! he’s how they got in! he had no enemies- he shouldn’t’ve died! hell, had romeo not come between him and tybalt, he might have lived. then romeo wouldn’t’ve killed tybalt, he wouldn’t’ve been banished, juliet wouldn’t’ve had to fake her death leading to well… everyone knows that part.

he only got into the fight to defend his friend’s honor. (well, to be fair depending on how you read the dialogue before the fight, mercutio might be pretty ready to jump into a fight for any reason lol) but still, he got into that fight because tybalt wanted to fight romeo, and he only died because romeo intervened.

what really gets me too is… no one seems to mourn him. sure, yes, romeo kills tybalt in revenge, but then immediately tybalt’s death takes priority. everyone’s freaking out about how tybalt died- tybalt is mourned. i don’t recall if mercutio is ever mentioned again. (edit: mercutio is mentioned when paris dies, romeo calls him mercutio’s kinsman, but that’s. still not much)

there’s also his iconic quote as he’s dying- a plague on both your houses. as he dies he goes out screaming about how both families are at fault, how it’s their own stubbornness that is causing all this. and if anyone listened to him, maybe things would’ve been different. but still, romeo and juliet (…and paris i guess?) have to die before anyone actually listens.

also, on a more lighthearted note, he is fucking hilarious. his whole queen mab monologue to make fun of romeo is a personal highlight, as well as his line like… quoting from memory here, “here comes romeo, without his ‘ro’ like a dried fish.” okay okay so this is when they still think romeo is into rosaline, hence the “ro” but also “roe” like fish eggs, but also meo is a word for “sigh” so he’s sad because he doesn’t have his crush with him all told with a fish pun. love this guy i aspire to be on his level

ooh, also, when a staged production (or other kind? it’s most common staged) uses red for the capulets and blue for the montagues, i love when mercutio wears purple. goes back to my earlier point about him not being either but still being friendly with both.

also speaking about very specific productions of romeo and juliet some mercutio highlights:

-in rómeó és júlia (personal fav version of mercutio) when mercutio gets stabbed, he bleeds, gets his hand covered in blood, and slaps romeo before he dies, so romeo goes through the rest of that scene wearing his friends blood and it really adds to it

-also in that version they give mercutio a rap verse that is in no other version and i think of it constantly

-he also keeps flirting with everyone and kisses both romeo and benvolio and tries to with tybalt

-i made a compilation of him in that version i never posted actually i should see if i can find it

-in the italian version of romeo et juliette mercutio kisses romeo as he dies and it’s really intense lmao

-okay actually just watch this video comparing different versions of le duel from romeo et juliette i’ll stop talking about those versions specifically lmao (and watch les rois du monde & la mort de mercutio on the same channel)

-in romeo + juliet he wears heelys and when he says “by my heel i care not” you can see them lmao

-in that version he also dresses in drag and i love it

-riff from west side story is not technically mercutio but he sings the jet song & cool and i love those songs so hell yeah

-okay i said i wouldn’t talk about versions of retj again but going back to my beloved hungarian version rómeó és júlia the guy who plays mercutio also voices the onceler in the hungarian version of the lorax and if i have to know that so do you

anyway i genuinely plan for my last words to be “ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man” so yeah love that guy and personally think this could have all been avoided had he started dating romeo and benvolio and hell why not have a toxic fling with tybalt what who said that

[misc-obeyme]

Thinking about Lucifer knowing Spanish, and I love the idea that he picked it up on his own (HELP, IMAGINE HE LEARNED IT SUPER FAST BEFORE THE EXCHANGE STARTED ONCE HE SAW MY FILE, THAT'D ALSO BE FUNNY). But if Lucifer ever scolded me in Spanish, I'd fr burst into tears and turn into the biggest goody two shoes 💀 (for at least a few days). Like I already hate being lectured, but something about it being in Spanish just 😭 it feels sooo much worse (maybe because there's so much emotion in the language? Dialect? Very big disappointed mom vibes.)

also IT AIN'T GONNA BE ME CONFESSING, THAT'S FOR SURE. Or if I did, it'd be in the most round about way or by accident (catch me pulling a Mammon like in that car ride drabble.). I am saying it in EVERY WHICH WAY except saying 'ily' outright.

It wasn't my day for dinner but you came home sad, and suddenly I'm cooking and it's your favorite dish? Psh, don't mean nothing, I was craving it too. I found a super shiny coin and gifted it to you? I have plentyyy (don't think about the fact I keep shiny coins from the current year in my bag for good luck, and it's the first one I've found all year). I'm spending my last pieces of grimm to buy us a treat to share bc we passed our exam? Well, it'd be wrong if I only got myself one... (true story, spent my last $10 on chipotle kids meals for me and my friend/coworker so we could eat because we were both broke and had two days left to payday)

Mammon will need to grab me by the shoulders and shake me because I would not believe he's into me. I'd come up with an excuse for any evidence that he is into me 💀 He could be like "GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS THAT I HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU!" and I'd be like "you wot? you're joking right?"

like I said, I'm denying it to hell and back because it's scary af !! I've only been in love 2.5 times, and the first time I was brushing off my feelings and making excuses. And then one day I had the "Oh. Oh... Aw, fuck." moment and became a mess around them. I've always been wary of romance (my only relationship ended up toxic, and I became more wary lol)

But the same thing happened with Mammon becoming my fave 😭 I was thinking about other characters (along with Mammon) like Levi, Beel, and Dia. But then everything about Mammon made me fall a little more without realizing, even while I was trying to deny it. I'd get asked my fave character, and I couldn't choose, but Mammon was always an option. And one day I had the "Aw, shit" moment. He won me over with his dumbass ways, heart of gold, and terrible bandaging skills.

*head in hands* THIS MAN MAKES ME WRITE ESSAYS BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW I FEEL AAAA

anyway I am excited for the new lessons !! my cards are powered UP ! also I got a sketch and lineart update on one of my comms and 😭🫶 literally wanted to jump around at work because it's so perfect and cute (it's me and Mammon cuddling in bed AND RHEY PUT HIM IN A TANK TOP SND YOU CSN SEE HIS MUSCLRS AKDKD)

anyway. I am. so Normal about this. aha... OKAY I AM SENDING GOOD VIBES, AND HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY AND FIND $10 ON THE GROUND TOMORROW (ALSO APPLIES TO ANYONE READING THIS) OKAY BYEEE

- ✨ anon

Disappointed mom vibes lolol. I think that would suit Lucifer really well, actually. He has those vibes anyway, make him lecture in Spanish and it's just even better~

Er. Well. I like when strict characters start scolding people, so perhaps my opinion is invalid in this case. I just find it very funny and it makes me want to tease them so bad.

Anyway, here's my opinion on romance: yes, it's scary af. But it's worth the risk.

Any time you enter into a relationship with someone, especially if there are intense feelings involved, you're taking a risk. No matter what, even in friendship and other such types of relationships. The way to get close to someone is to be vulnerable with them. And there's always the chance that the person you're being vulnerable with will take that as an opportunity to hurt you. But not everybody will. And you'll miss out on the people who won't if you just... don't even try, you know what I mean?

Ehhhh sorry to get all deep on you like that, but I've seen this kinda thing plenty of times in my life. I'm that person everybody tells all their relationship woes to and then I give them advice that they never take. And then it always turns out that I was right all along lol.

I also kinda think it's okay to fall in love with someone but never act on it. Sometimes it feels like I fall in love with everyone I meet. But sometimes you legit fall in love with someone who just... isn't the right one for you. And you know it, so there's no point in trying to pursue anything. And the feelings fade as that person moves on with their life and it just becomes a fond memory.

For what it's worth, I don't think Mammon would ever give up on you. He's not as dumb as everyone makes him out to be. He's actually quite emotionally intelligent. As soon as he finally figured out his own feelings and was able to accept them, he would clock onto yours. And if someone straight up told him (such as one of his brothers), I think he'd keep reaching out to you, keep trying for you, keep doing his best to make it so you're comfortable enough with him to be honest about how you feel~

Anyway, this is just me being a hopeless romantic lol!

Welcome to the Writing Essays About Fictional Characters You Love Club! lol honestly I get so embarrassed about how much I have to say sometimes...

I'm also excited about new lessons! And your commission sounds amazing already!

Sending the good vibes right back to you! May we all find $10 on the ground!!