#THIS IS SO PURE MAN

[mischievous-thunder]

What a casual cup of tea is for a commoner is a bottle of rubbing alcohol for this Peanut

[benevolenterrancy]

"If the original novel had given this thing more than ten words of description, there was no way he wouldn’t have remembered!"

[blondie-drawings]

Good lord this tomb is full of shitposts 😳😳 pt 1/pt 2

[thechaoticdruid]

Tav: *breaks up with Astarion or Gale for someone else*

Astarion and Gale:

Tav: *Breaks up with Wyll for someone else.*

Wyll: Understandable have a nice day.

We don't deserve Wyll. He's just too good. Fucking takes it like a champ. What an absolute Chad.

[minkieater]

sweat — jyh ˚ · .

p. jeong yunho x fem!reader w. smut mdni, sweat kink kinda went crazy here, can't help but write yunho rough it just comes out of me wc. 3.2k

a bare face, disheveled hair and scarlet tipped ears greeted you in the bedroom, two hours after you’d last seen him. his puffy eyes were low from exertion, his strenuous workout was ultimately for him but you couldn’t pretend it didn’t benefit you, too. your eyes caught the sweat that sparkled across his skin, the warm light from the side table lamp making it appear like a second layer of a golden sheen — nothing short of a gift that the hotel’s gym provided you. his chocolate brown shirt hung loose and baggy, definitely damp by this point, crumpled at the bottom hem from how many times he’d pat his face dry with it during his session. his shorts sat just at mid thigh, shorts you’d bought for him just for this purpose, coming back to you in your hotel room after a late night workout.

“check out my pump,” he flexed his biceps with a proud smile, looking at his arms that he held up on either side of his face. such an adorable action, the opposite of how he looked right now, so massive and so manly.

you didn’t answer, you couldn’t answer, too entranced by how he spawned in your bedroom looking effortlessly godlike. it was sinister, it should be illegal, an article written somewhere in the federal register that jeong yunho shouldn’t be able to look this fucking good. 

the sweat that laid across his skin made him look so edible, so delicious, you knew that taste all too well — the warm saltiness tangled with a hint of him, it was your favorite flavor, you could eat it all day and all night. the ruby red flush to his ears, his cheeks and his nose you wanted to bottle up, put in a tube so you could wear it like lipgloss. maybe chapstick instead so you could put it on him, get his lips back to their usual luster, nourish them so you could kiss him until they were chapped once again.

his hair being so abnormally fucked up only made you think of one thing, how you wanted to sink your fingers into his hair, see the muddy olive brown colored locks between your fingers, tugging at his roots so he’d tell you to pull them harder. you were working yourself up in your head, staring at him through lidded eyes from the comfort of the white bed sheets, it only took seconds of ogling for yunho to read your thoughts as if you said them out loud. 

he scratched his head with one eye shut, a knowing smile playing on his lips, “i should do that workout more often if you’re gonna react like this, i feel like you’re gonna pounce on me.” 

a sound of amusement leaves your lips as you lift one hand, curling your index finger towards yourself to say get your ass over here. 

“i’m all sweaty, we have to sleep there,” he cringed, “i’m gonna shower, care to join?” 

you hopped up at a speed comparable to light despite the fact that your hair was still wet from the shower you just took, but you’d take another, you’d do anything he asked. yunho chuckled as he made his way to the bathroom, flicking on the lights, the loud hum of the fan filling the space. 

“come here,” you murmured when you entered the bathroom hot on his tail, the order sounding like a plea as you tugged at his shirt, pulling him down to your height. 

he was still smiling as your lips met, he brought his hands up to your cheeks, cupping them as his palms completely enveloped your face, fingers going deep into your hair. you were obsessed with him, the size of him, how every part of him seemed to be double of what you were. it made you dizzy, unlocked a part of you that you didn’t realize was laying dormant until you met him, ushering him to do anything to prove how big he actually is, to show you how small he could make you feel. 

you switched to kiss his jaw, tongue lolling out to lick at his skin, tasting the sweet concoction of sweat and yunho that tased like the fountain of youth. it kept you awake, kept you alive, added fuel to the fire of need that started to spread through your gut like a lit match in a dry forest. you moved his hands down your waist to your ass as you licked up the column of his throat and he groaned, lifting you up with those massive twin palms and placing you flat on the counter. 

your lips met again and he smirked into the kiss before detaching for a moment, “couldn’t even wait for me to turn the shower on?”

“can you blame me?” you asked with a sweet smile as you spread your legs atop the counter, already wearing nothing underneath the white hotel robe, as if you’d planned jumping him as soon as he got back. 

the air hit your core and you shivered, yunho taking his place right between your knees as if he felt it, the wetness that caught the draft. his hips were still taller than yours as he stood in front of you and you could moan just at the sight, the mere thought of your giant of a boyfriend. 

“my eager girl,” he hummed as he attached your lips again, fingers running up your calves, over your thighs that laid flush against the counter. he let them slip under the robe, fingers gripping your hips, squeezing as he pressed his abdomen against you from the distance he’d closed. 

“more,” you moaned into his lips at his touch, back arching into him. you could smell the sweat coming off of him, through his shirt, on his skin, in his hair. if you weren’t so horny you’d feel a little concerned about how much it affected you, mouth watering as the scent hit your nostrils. “please,” you begged, your hands coming up his forearms to squeeze at his biceps, back arching impossibly farther to collide your chest with his abdomen. 

“only because you said please,” his voice was ragged as he rested his forehead against yours, slipping a hand from under the robe and bringing it in front of you, running the pads of his fingers over the tops of your thighs, quickly coming closer to your core. you gasped in anticipation, hips bucking up to give him access. he didn’t let his fingers go farther, though, instead they trailed up over your stomach to the tie of your robe, playing with the knot you tied when you hoped out of the shower. 

you whined, an impatient, annoying noise, one that yunho loved so fucking much. his smirk returned at the sound, taking his time as he untied the knot, tugging lightly at the fabric fastened across your waist, using little to no force to drag it out solely to frustrate you further. 

“yunho, please,” you begged, tilting your chin up to look into his eyes where you found a pair of puffy, chocolate brown glazed over eyes staring right back down at you. 

he saw the need in your eyes, the way your eyebrows furrowed, how you took your bottom lip just between your teeth and his resolve was gone. he used both of his hands to tug it free with no effort, slipping the robe off of your shoulders, leaving you bare for him atop the bathroom counter. 

he groaned again from low in his gut, a choked sound, “so fucking sexy.” 

your head tilted back with a muddled moan as his hands swallowed your boobs, squeezing at the fat, rolling his thumbs over your nipples, biting his own lip when they hardened under his touch. his hands slipped down to your waist and he kissed you again, running his hands over your skin, the pads of his fingers leaving dainty touches across your hips and thighs. 

you reached between your bodies, you opted to grab for him instead, feeling his already hardened length in your palm. yunho physically shivered, hips bucking into your hand with a small noise, one that not just anyone would catch if they didn’t know yunho like the back of their hand. you did, you knew it was a sound of lust, a noise that meant please keep going. 

you palmed him through his shorts, the shorts that you bought because they were shorter than the rest of his collection, ones that showed off his thigh muscle so perfectly. you leaned up and attached your tongue to his neck again, a different spot that you hadn’t tasted yet, hadn’t licked the sweat clean off of it. you hummed in delight, working your hand faster over his shorts as his head hung loose, small groans and puffs of air leaving his lips.

“taste so good,” you mumbled between licks to his neck, sucking at small spots, easily leaving bruises across his skin. how his makeup artist would have to cover that up, you didn’t care. your hands went to the hem of his shirt and tugged it over his head, marveling at the damp cloth in your hands, hoping he didn’t notice how you took your time or how you had to physically stop yourself from bringing it up to your nose. 

of course he noticed, the revelation gave yunho back the upper hand, his smirk returned to his face as he said, “yeah? you like it when i’m all sweaty baby?”

after years of being together he knows this, you’ve licked the sweat off of all of him numerous times, but it still affected yunho the same every single time you did, and he never hesitated to tease you for it. you mumbled a mhm as you raked your hands over his abdomen, his chest, the skin that was dry by now but still slightly sticky. 

his hands gripped your hips again, right at the crease of where your thigh met your hip and you jumped, bucking your hips towards him once more. your ass was right on the ledge of the sink and you would’ve fallen right back into it if his grip wasn’t so tight. he kept one hand on your hip as the other dragged closer to your core, ghosting over your center, thumb dangerously close to where you needed stimulation the most. 

you gasped, throwing a hand behind you on the sink, using it as leverage to open yourself up to him, let him get full access to where you needed him. he took a step back and looked you up and down, his eyes darker now, so low and glazed over with lust as he stared directly at your center. 

“such a pretty fucking pussy, this sight’ll never get old,” he shook his head and he braced his hands on the counter, right between your legs as he knelt down onto his knees. he moved his hands to grab at your thighs, holding them open as he wasted no time, licking a fat stripe up your center.

you threw the other arm behind you to keep you up and steady as you moaned, a long, languid noise at the stimulation. he made quick work of you, swirling his tongue between your folds, wrapping his lips around your clit. 

“yes,” you moaned and threw your head back, arching your body up into him, bringing your feet up onto the counter to spread yourself impossibly wider for him. he took advantage, eating you like a man starved, letting his saliva trickle down your center and not bothering to lick it all back up. he created a rhythm quick, flicking his tongue over your clit, making you cry out for him, chanting his name like a mantra.

“close,” you cried, taking a hand to fist into his hair, the dampness of his locks only pushing you closer to the edge. the knot in your stomach only tightened further, bucking your hips into his face, and he didn’t pause for a moment. he followed your hips, keeping his lips wrapped tight around your clit, one devastatingly harsh suck made you lose control, had the knot snapping immediately. 

he rode you through it, keeping his rhythm until you forced his face off of you with a tight pull to his roots. he let go of you with a pop, eyes dazed, his head most definitely somewhere else. 

“should i turn the shower on?” he asked with a lazy smile then licked his lips, sitting back on his calves. you giggled, your body shivering as the chill of the room hit you again, your center wet and sticky and cold. 

you hopped down from the counter as he stood up, turning to the glass doors to turn the shower on. as he turned back to you you grabbed him by the neck, pulling him down to kiss him again. you wanted to taste him, all of him before the shower, before his sweat got washed off of him. 

“are you hungry or something?” he joked between kisses, a smile on his face, and you laughed in response. 

“just wanna taste you,” you answered as you dropped to your knees just as he did, a lot less gracefully. he paid no mind as his lips parted, eyes slightly furrowing as he realized what you were doing. 

you tugged his shorts down quick, the length of him springing up against his stomach, standing red and angry and leaking. you salivated, eyes widening at the sight, at the smell of sweaty, post workout yunho. it was delicious, desperation ran through you as if you’d never seen him before, never smelled his sweat before. 

you wrapped your lips around his head, sucking down every drop of precum he gave you, moaning at the taste. so salty, so fucking yunho, your center throbbed with desire even if you just came on his tongue. you spat it all back around him along with your own spit before you took him down your throat as much as you could, hands wrapping around his base, pumping whatever you couldn’t fit – you’d never be able to fit it all. 

he groaned, his hands flying to your head, hands tangling in the roots of your hair, tugging at it just to get a reaction from you. a gargled noise erupted from your throat, vibrating around him, making him stumble for a second as his abdomen clenched, six pack on full display. your eyebrows furrowed at the sight and his hand went to grab for the wall to keep him steady as you bobbed your head, tongue swirling on the underside of his length, hand squeezing his base. 

“you’re so fucking good at that,” he moaned, a gasp leaving his lips right after as your hand went to cup his balls, massaging them in your palm. “i’m gonna cum if you do that, baby, fuck.”

you smiled around his length, breathing through your nose, the smell of him combined with the steam filling the room was making you dizzy. your eyes fluttered shut in pleasure, keeping your rhythm, gagging around him as you tried to take him deeper. 

his moans increased in pitch and you knew he was close, teetering at the edge of his release and you stopped, ripping your mouth off of him and putting your hands back at your sides. he whined, a sweet, high pitched noise as you sat back on your calves, a cocky smile sitting on your face as you wiped your lip with your thumb. 

“oh, you’re gonna regret that,” a low chuckle left his lips as he grabbed your wrist, pulling your entire body off the floor with one hand. you smiled, hoping this would happen, knowing all too well what happens when you edge him – what headspace it puts him into. 

“spent the whole fucking night waiting for me just to act like a brat?” he said as you stood up, his voice laced with venom, harsh and stern and so fucking sexy. “you were the one who wanted this, and you’re gonna tease me?” 

he turned you so you faced the massive mirror behind the sink, your hands shooting out to grab the counter, bracing yourself for what comes next. he kicked your ankles apart, spreading your legs, and pushed your chest down on the surface with his right hand wrapped around the back of your neck. 

you moaned, the noise slipping right through your lips, and he chuckled again, the same menacing kick to it. “that’s crazy, i sit you on the counter and make you cum in record time because you’re acting like a bitch in heat, and what do i get?”

“this is all planned then, huh? you acting like a desperate slut so you can get fucked like one?” he lined himself up with your center, quickly pushing in, making your head drop into the sink, a low cry leaving your lips. 

“pick that fucking head up and watch,” he reached for your hair, tugging at your roots, making you moan as he lifted your head to watch him through the mirror. his face is covered in sweat again, the steam from the room combined with the sheer energy it took to make you cum, get edged and bend you over the counter after a full workout. it only pushed you further, your center completely slick, he fucked into you harshly with no resistance, forming a brutal rhythm quick. 

your cries came out one after another, you looked fucked, face sweaty and your half dried hair a knotted wreck. he looked victorious behind you, an evil smile planted on his face as he drilled himself into you, your knees threatening to buckle. 

“too much,” you cried as your legs sagged, forcing yourself to stay upright, using the counter to put your weight on so he could fuck you with ease. 

he laughed instead of slowing down, “you fuckin’ asked for it, baby.”

you didn’t dare look away or let your eyes close as you watched his hand land a harsh slap against your ass, a wicked smile on his face as he watched it ripple under his skin, he loved this just as much as you did – maybe even more. 

you cried out, your head dropping for a moment at the impact before you picked it right back up, keeping your eyes focused on him as his eyebrows furrowed, clearly inching closer to his release. you weren’t far off, the knot in your stomach forming, the angle of him made him hit that spot inside you with each thrust. 

“fuck, i’m close,” he muttered as if on cue, his thrusts staggering, losing their rhythm as he picked up speed. 

“don’t stop,” you huffed out, you couldn’t afford to lose a hand on the counter, your clit begging to be touched. 

yunho knew, of course he knew – he knew you like the back of his hand yet he ignored it, solely focused on his release. a few more thrusts and he was emptying himself inside you, you were so close, right on the edge, your legs wobbling underneath you.

“yunho don’t you dare fucking stop,” you huffed out, your voice hoarse and harsh and he laughed again as his thrusts slowed. you brought a hand down to your core and he was quick to snatch your wrist, leaving you empty and frustrated, a loud whine leaving your mouth. 

“sucks, to be edged, huh?” he asked, holding your wrists behind your back, then planted a kiss to your cheek. 

“we should probably get in the shower now.”

[chialattea]

malevolent is kinda like if the lovecraftian entity beyond your mortal comprehension was your roommate and just as stressed about The Horrors as you. And also he was a massive bitch.

[figloom]

"Ughhh, I'm too pretty to be doing math Azul... You there, come here~✨️🦀"

The glamorous mascot of Mostro Lounge. What he lacks in brain, he makes up with with his looks (driving Azul insane in the process, however he can pay him in exposure so it's not that bad). He may not serve drinks but you best believe he'll serve cunt🦇

[yourlocalabomination]

Time bastard, You got some place else to be?

[anotherfandomtrash]

I finished watching dual destinies and I...just noticed some pattern

[yesloulou]

Max and Daniel play badminton at the 2018 Chinese Grand Prix 🏮🐉

[specialgrades]

— thinking about . . .

men who swear up and down they’re not into you— or men for that matter. men who flirt with women as often as they can. men who drink a little too much during a night out and start grinding against you in the dimly lit club you’re in. men who’s legs feel like jelly and skin feels hot as you guide their hips against yours. men who turn to putty as you drag them outside. men who forget every bit of elegance when they’re pinned against the wall. men who weakly beg for you to fuck them right there in the decrepit alleyway. men who wake up the next morning barely being able to walk and can’t look you in the eye now. men who sport dark hickeys and bite marks from you as they attempt to flirt with another girl to distract from how good you made them feel the night prior.

VINSMOKE SANJI, spirit albarn, ryusei shido, satoru gojo, michael kaiser, josuke higashikata, warren worthington iii

[hello-eeveev]

the face of a man realizing that he has to use his 9th level spell to teleport AGAIN instead of using it to access his demiplane so he can hang out with his partner

[maskofnova]

Hi chat, breaking the sonic chain to post a singular homestuck post because ive been thinking about moirail dynamics a lot. Don't follow me for homestuck though probably because this is the only one thats likely to break containment aside from maybe one other WIP in the future. Or do! I'm not your dad :]

[smallidarityfan]

humbling requesting gay panic joel propaganda long live smallidarity,, 💥💥💥💥

THANK YOU LIAU!!!!!! Waaayy overdue on this, unfortunately I'm still healing from art block 😭😭 ive been thinking about that prompt all this while tho...

vvv extra doodles vvv

[kentjohnson91]

memes are back my dudes

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)