#THIS IS MY F^VORITE SUBMISSION EVER IM PRINTING IT OUT ^ND FR^MING IT ON MY W^LL

[aita-alternia]

aita for Eating a bee and blaming it on my coworker? 

i [12 indigo] am an apicultural engineedler for [a Large company name redacted]. we Provide a live software service so realtime support and updates are very Important. recently, a concentrated Effort has been made to port our old and Exceedingly convoluted network onto a new beehouse mainframework to comply with silicomb 2.0 standards and drag our Very tangled Very old codebase into the present decasweep. it has been a lot of effort over almost a full sweep, but the new mainframe is beautiful and well worth the time and will make it much easier to debug and re-bug the network going forward. 

due to our service being live, our small team of developunishers were required to supervise the migration of our bees between mainframe overday, which we turned into a little Shindig since if all went well there wouldn't be much to do once Everything was underway. one of my coworkers [14 violet] who I will call aparna for this story brought faygo for us to celebrate with [she is Not a practicing juggalo but she still talks about growing up in the church All The Time. it is frankly Quite grating. we do not need to hear again about how you chose your paint aparna you do not actually paint anymore i fail to see how it is presently Relevant. and she Always seems to talk about it louder when she notices im listening]

anyway it was getting close to migration time and Most of my coworkers were there. we opened bottles of soda and began to prep the signal drones. [not like Her Imperious Condescension's drones, these are apicultural beenary signallers that serve signposts for the queen for the interframe migration. basically Her Smaller Majesty the Hive Queen Who Makes Our Code Work needs to know where to go to get to the new mainframe but we can't move her there directly since she's too vicious to be handled directly. instead we move the drones who we can manually override and she follows them into the new beehome.] this step of the process is Usually pretty smooth. the Most difficult part is usually when the queen moves and the Entire hive follows her; the multithreading can be somewhat difficult to manage and if the beestreams begin to cross over too much, they can jam the entrances to the new beehome, causing the formation to collapse and potentially bringing down the network. that's why we have to supervise the migration closely. 

however. a Mistake was made. and it was made early. 

at some point during setup one of the signal drones was knocked loose of its designated position. i do not know how this happened [but it's probably aparna's fault. she is always making these kinds of very Small mistakes. never anything Severe but little things. annoying things. many of them.] this is usually easy to correct except that it went unnoticed and, drawn by some instinct of insects Everywhere, found its way into my soda. 

which i then drank.

i could tell the bee was in there right away, but my instinctive self defense reaction was to swallow and crush whatever was buzzing in my mouth with my Powerful esophageal muscles. so that is what I did. the signal drone died Swiftly in my throat. i was safe from the Threat of its sting - and we were down an essential component for the migration

i Panicked. i turned my head and frantically coughed up the signal drone, passing it off as the soda going down the wrong pipe. this dislodged the signal drone into my hand. i knew that if i were caught it would Not go well for me. if i got in Trouble at this job my lusus might start trying to push me toward the cavalreapers again. i could not let that happen. 

then i noticed that someone's soda was open on the table next to me. 

i invite you to guess what i did next. i also invite you to guess whose drink it happened to be.

it took some time for the absence of the signal drone to be noticed, but eventually aparna took a drink of her faygo and spat it out along with the body of the drone. it was Very clear what had happened and she took the blame for the subsequent Disaster of having to emergency patch the signal formation, as well as the debugging required to fix the resulting path collisions during the Full migration. 

aparna will be fine. our boss likes her Very much overall and is Extremely unlikely to get rid of her [i would likely have come forward by now if i had done this to Any other coworker, but aparna is in no danger and Also she deserves it for being careless and Also it was probably her who knocked the drone out of formation to begin with], whereas i would Very likely have been fired had they known it was actually my fault. however i am concerned that aparna may be on to me. she has been glaring at me even More than usual for the past few days. i have glared back as i will Not be Cowed by a juggalo - and a lapsed one at that. she'll have to do better than an annoyance if she wants anything out of me.

so. am i the Asshole?