#THIS IS ALL OVER THE PLACE READING IT BACK.im not fixing it

[bloodbankzz]

on a kind of related but not really note i dont have tiktok but through people posting tiktoks i went down a tiktok rabbit hole recently and jesus christ like. i had not realized that. uh so many people are the size that i only regarded as "celebrity thin" or "edited photo thin" ???? im gonna be honest i find it really gross lol. ive always been creeped out when i thought it was faked and it did some real damage to my self image honestly finding out it was 1. uh real 2. prevalent like WAY more prevalent than i thought. the main thing saving me rn from slipping is that i think it really is weird and ugly to look like that LMFAO but it is eating away at me bc i guess in insulating myself from these types of people and images-- which i very much have done on purpose -- made me forget the sorts of realities that gave teenage me an eating disorder in the first place. all of it sucks and anyway thats why i will never draw anyone thinner than me xoxo look normal please