#THEYRE NONE OF WHICH YOU CAN REPLACE IN YOUR BED

[snazzzycattzz]

save me forth wanderers…save me..save me forth wanderers…

[imagineurfavs]

Morning Sex with Pentagon

“i really like the pentagon cock warming post ♥︎♥︎ so i was wondering if you could do a reaction with pentagon about morning sex btw i love your work 🥺♥︎ can i be anon 🥺”

A/N I think i might have got a little carried away with a few of these i- sorry if theyre a little long. Also it’s just past 4am here as i post this...I started writing this at 11pm...wow...goodnight yall skjgsljg

(under a keep reading just bc smutty and long lmao)

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Jinho: You hear him grumble slightly as he began to wake up slowly, his hands immediately searching for you next to him. His warm fingertips resting lightly on your thighs, squeezing them slightly to see if you were awake. “Good morning~” you groan, barely awake, trying to turn to face him. His grip on you stops you from turning over, keeping your back against his chest. “Morning, darling” his groggy voice echoing throughout the room as he shifts him body closer to you, your butt now pressed up close enough against him for you to realise exactly why he was so touchy this morning. He’d push into you slowly from behind, planting open mouthed kisses over your neck and shoulder blades. A free hand snaking over your hips, rubbing light circles on your clit. The pace would remain slow and deep, low sighs mixed with declarations of love falling from his lips with every thrust. He tries to hide his moans as he cums by biting down on your shoulder, leaving a hickey that’s sure to last a while. He stays inside you until you both come down from your highs, only then slowly pulling out of you, letting out a soft giggle “it is a good morning, isn’t it...”

Hui: Hoetaek is surprisingly chipper in the mornings, and times like this are no exception. His hands wandering all over your body, resting longer and lightly tickling any bare skin he can reach. “How are you still so pretty first thing in the morning” he says between kisses, the smile evident in his voice. He rests his forehead against your own as he pushes himself slowly into you, your legs raising to wrap around his waist. His morning voice, soft yet gravelly, speaking quiet words of love into your ear as he rolls his hips against you. He lifts one of his arms up, grabbing the headboard behind you to help him hit that area inside you at just the right angle. Your legs begin to tighten around his body as you feel that familiar heat start to build in your stomach. Even the slightest clench of your walls around him was enough to send him over the edge, the snapping of his hips getting sharper and sharper until you're both a shaky, breathless mess. Even with your limbs tangled together, sweat sticking your bodies to each other, he refuses to move from you until you assure him you’re totally satisfied. “I love you y/n, but we’re both so sweaty and gross right now, you want me to run you a bath?” he remarks as you playfully smack his chest

Hongseok: On particularly bright days, when even the closed curtains couldn't contain the rays of the sun, something about how the soft golden light hit his skin stirred something deep within you. You plant a light kiss on his cheek, thinking he was still asleep, only to have him wrap his arms tightly around you, making you essentially fall on top of him. “I could feel you staring at me” he says with a low chuckle, eyes still closed. “Well, stop being so beautiful then, and I won’t have to stare” You reply, pushing yourself up to lean above him. But before being able to fully extend your arms, he clamps you in his embrace and flips the two of you over, his large form now hovering over you. His eyes still heavy with sleep, locked with your own as he trails his hands down and past your stomach. He placed his lips lightly on yours, shaky breaths fanning over your face as he lets out quiet coarse moans. Moving slowly inside you, every thrust pushing you closer and closer to the edge. He finished with one last sharp thrust before rolling to your side, keeping one hand locked with yours. You lay together, getting your breath back to normal, the small beads of sweat catching the morning sunlight which illuminated you both in the most beautiful way.

Shinwon: Say hello to lowkey submissive needy Shinwon lmao. Not opening his eyes even once, he’d pull you up to straddle him whilst keeping his lips locked with yours. He’d run his hands up and down your back, keeping you flush against his broad chest. With even the slightest bit of pressure from your hips down onto his, he’d let out the tiniest little whines, his eyes screwing shut. He was already hard just from making out so he’d try his best to get you to speed things up. “Please baby, I- fuck, please” he’d moan quietly starting to pull his boxers down his legs, hoping that you’d take the hint. As you sink yourself down onto him, he grips your hips so tightly the ends of his fingers turn a pale white colour, his formerly sleepy visage contorting with pleasure, as his breathing begins to catch in his throat. You can feel that he’s getting close to finishing as he starts to buck his hips up to meet yours, holding you in place above him. He cums with a series of sporadic thrusts, letting out a choked out moan of your name, before pulling you down to rest atop him. He rolls you over so you're laying opposite each other, tiredness coming back to his face once again. Good luck convincing him to get up lmao.

Changgu (Yeo One): He’s positioned himself above you, running his hands lightly down your side as his eyes bore into your own. “I love getting to wake up to sights like this...you’re so beautiful” he says as he brings a hand up to gently tuck some hair behind your ear. He’d throw the covers back over you both as he kissed his way slowly down your bare stomach, still feeling somewhat exposed even though you were the only two people present. Settling his face between your legs, he looks up at you with his large eyes as he works on you with his mouth, stopping just before you reach your climax. He’d make his way slowly back up your body, professing his love for you between each kiss to your exposed skin. His lips finally meeting with yours, tongues clashing as he pushed himself into you almost agonisingly slowly. His pace picking up slightly as he feels you begin to clench around him, his increasingly strained moans being swallowed by your mouth until he pulls away for breath. Your orgasm washing over you both as he stills inside you, remaining there together, catching your breath for what feels like an eternity. He flops over to lay beside you, pulling you into his embrace, his chin resting atop your head “I dont wanna get up...we can just stay in bed today, right?”

Yanan: His alarm was sounding in the background as he pulled his hands away from your body for a second to silence it “Don’t worry about it, I don’t mind being a bit late” he muttered as he brought his hands back to their position on your ass. His eyes return to their fixed spot on your chest, watching intently as you bounced on top of him. His eyes would start to flutter back closed, snapping open every time you moved on him in a way that sent jolts of electricity surging through his body. His breaths getting faster and higher in pitch the longer you remain on top of him. He pulls himself to sit up so you're in his lap, wrapping his long arms around your torso as you grind your hips against his. Your fingers finding purchase on his broad shoulders, digging your nails in slightly as he starts to thrust up to meet your hips with his. A long whine of your name signals his impending orgasm as he spills inside you, pulling you both down so his back is on the bed with your chest flush against his, a few final thrusts from him tips you over the edge as he holds you still against him. With his breath still shaky he looks up to meet your eyes “I’m already late...why dont I just take the whole day off...?” 

Yuto: Having you ride him in the morning is honestly Yuto’s favourite way to start his day. The sunlight breaking through the gap in the curtains casting shadows on your body, the sounds of the world waking up around you whilst being none the wiser about what was happening in this room. It made him feel on top of the world. His low morning voice guiding you through every move you made, giving you encouragement with every swivel of your hips “Fuck, just like that, princess” he says through gritted teeth, eyebrows knitted together “What did I ever do to deserve you” The second he found himself moving closer to orgasm, he wraps his arms around you and flips you both over so he now above you and has full control over the pace. He grabs your legs, throwing them over his shoulders as he increases the speed to his usual fast pace. Now that you’d fully awoken him, sleepy soft Yuto’s words of praise were replaced with stern remarks designed to push you over the edge “You just couldn't wait for me could you” “You really needed me first thing in the morning didn’t you, you naughty girl” He sucks hickeys into your chest as he thrusts himself into you over and over, a low growl coming from deep within his chest as he cums, working his fingers over your clit at an unholy speed, helping you reach your high alongside him. He lets out a quiet low giggle as he comes back to his bashful self, uttering a quiet “good morning baby” into your neck.

Hyunggu (Kino): Hyunggu’s sleeping form would be sprawled out across your own; his legs tangled with your own and his face buried in your neck. Thinking he was still asleep, you attempt to slide out from under him before feeling his lips press against the soft skin of your neck "good morning baby” he says with a groan “don't get up just yet" the neediness in his voice audible as he shifts himself so his face is centimetres from yours. He’d be surprisingly intense, given that the both of you had not long woken up. His kisses would be strong and fervent, his hands moving quickly down your body, past the waistband of your underwear. But there was still a gentleness to his touches. A softness in his eyes that let you know how how much he treasured getting to wake up beside you, to see you like this first thing in the morning. His movements are fluid and soft, but still hit the same magical spot he managed to on any other day; even half asleep Hyunggu truly knew your body like nobody else. Feeling himself get closer and closer, he moves his hand down your body until he reaches your heat, his thumb beginning to rub slow circles on your clit, trying to help you to reach your peak together. He watches for the signs that your orgasm is fast approaching, which he recognises well; suddenly increasing the speed tenfold for only a few seconds until he feels your walls clench around him. Resting his sweat covered forehead against your own he pulls his face away from yours “...shower?”

Wooseok: Your hand rests on his chest as you open your eyes to him quietly calling your name. He takes your smaller hand inside his and guides it down his body until you feel how hard he is inside his sweats, to which he looks at you with his big doe eyes “gimme a hand?” You begin to slink your body down his large frame, kissing his stomach as you go, only for him to stop you half way “no...not like that. I need you fully” his low voice sending shivers down your spine. He crawls on top of you, trapping you within his long limbs. He winces and his breath catches in his throat as you raise you leg, your knee brushing against his sensitive length. He kicks off his sweats and discards of any clothes of yours getting between him and your core. He pushes himself into you slowly, letting you adjust fully before continuing “you good?” his low, sleep filled voice asks before pulling himself almost all the way out. Your hands grab onto him, holding his biceps firmly as he moves in and out of you, your nails leaving small crescent shapes in his skin. His thrusts get more and more sporadic as his high approaches quickly, he was already half way there before you’d even woken now he was finding it harder to hold on much longer. He pulls out quickly, replacing his cock with his fingers as he helps you chase your high. He works you through your orgasm, your grip on his arms getting tighter as you cum on his fingers. “Fuck...thank you baby...I really needed that” he says with a sigh as he falls back onto the bed, eyes falling back closed.

[firemblem-fics]

SFW alphabet. | seteth

-> Pairing: Seteth x GN!Reader

-> Warnings: None

-> Genre: Fluff, Headcanons

-> A/N: this was chosen by a poll on my discord server except i gave no context in the poll so this is for y’all :) also uh im sorry if i’m not active in the next week, i rlly just had the absolute worst nervous breakdown ive had in a long while LMAO so uh ya might stay away from the internet for a while

warning, long post.

A -> Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

with seteth, affection STAYS private. it will never ever be displayed out in the open, especially not around the students. he prefers to keep personal relationships out of professional life

when he does show affection, though, it’s super slow and gentle. he always hugs you from behind and just sways side to side, pressing little kisses against your temple and cheek while you lean i to his embrace and close your eyes.

B -> Begin (How did the relationship begin?)

it didn’t really have a solid beginning. you just kind of wormed your way into seteth and flayn’s hearts unknowingly. when he asked to court you, you were super super hesitant because you didn’t want to replace his late wife. he assured you that she’d want him and flayn to be happy and that she’d 100% approve of you.

you still have your doubts, but seteth is always there to reassure you.

C -> Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How do they cuddle?)

cuddling is saved for nights or early mornings on a day off. seteth is always itching to get up and get things done, so it’s a little on the tougher side to get him to stay. eventually he caves and lays in.

you cuddle facing each other, your head tucked underneath his chin and his legs entangling yours. his hand that lays underneath you plays with the ends of your hair while the other rests gently on your thigh, which is hiked over his hip.

D -> Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How good are they at cooking and cleaning?)

seteth’s thoughts rarely every go astray, but when they do, he imagines what life would be like, just retiring from the monastery and living a nice life with you. he’d like to settle down eventually, but not any time soon

he’s super good at doing his part in chores and duties! of course he is, but he’s very very reliable and does things when asked. it’s nice

E -> Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he would sit you down and explain his reasonings and such. it hurts him, definitely, but he does well at hiding it. until you leave his office, that is.

F -> Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

not any time soon, as said earlier. seteth really will not stop his obligations towards the monastery and to fodlan. he wouldn’t have time nor would he want a very extravagant wedding, either. a simple ceremony would suffice.

G -> Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

physically, seteth is the epitome of a soft, romantic man. his touches make you melt and he’s always trying to keep you comfortable and happy. if you’re content, hes content.

emotionally, not as much. seteth has trouble sympathizing with some things. he’s used to pushing his feelings aside for the sake of fulfilling a duty or doing something, so he struggles sometimes to understand why someone else can’t do the same. give him time, though, and he’ll get better at comforting

H -> Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

seteth’s hugs are firm and warm. they’re always like a passionate embrace, as if it would be the last time he’d ever touch you

seteth really enjoys hugs and physical affection with you, but as i said earlier, it’s always behind closed doors. sometimes he calls you to his office just so you can sit in his lap while he holds you.

I -> I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

NOT fast. seteth is kind of in denial that he even had feelings for you at first until flayn pointed it out, so it’s rather hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that he loves you.

he does say it first though, as you’re half asleep, making you wonder if you even heard it correctly. you did.

J -> Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

seteth doesn’t get jealous, really. there’s really nobody around to even like, make him jealous. he knows that a bunch of weird ass teenagers like sylvain aren’t going to actually come in between his and your relationship. honestly, most people in the monastery probably don’t even know that you’re both in a relationship.

if he is jealous, he stays relatively nonchalant about it, asking you to help him with a task somewhere else to take you away from the person

K -> Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

seteth’s kisses are very loving and passionate. every single one of them are full of adoration, even the little pecks. they never fail to warm up your entire body as everything melts away around you

he loves to kiss your neck. not just for more intimate reasons, but because he absolutely adores your giggles as his beard tickles your skin

this only happens when your relationship has been going on for a while, but seteth really enjoys it when you kiss his ears. they’re super sensitive and they always tinge as red as his cheeks when you kiss them.

L -> Little Ones (How are they around children?)

seteth is super good around his own child, of course, but he doesn’t so so hot around other children. theyre often too rambunctious for his liking, but he’ll tolerate them enough to entertain them sometimes.

M -> Mornings (How are mornings spent with them?)

three words. soft, soft, and soft

you usually either wake up in the same position that you fell asleep in, or you’re spooning. seteth’s always the big spoon, no acceptions. if you’re spooning, he kisses your shoulders and the back of your head until you wake up enough to turn over and give him an actual kiss.

N -> Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

also soft, but a little less.

seteth is always so busy during the day that when he lays in bed, he falls asleep almost instantaneously. if you want to stay up and talk or cuddle, he’ll try his hardest, but please don’t be upset with him if he accidentally dozes off. he’s a hard worker

O -> Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait to reveal things slowly?)

this depends on who you are. if you’re the professor, you more than likely already know everything by the time you get in a relationship with him

if you’re not, then he trusts you enough to catch you up on most things in the early weeks of your relationship. sometimes there’s a little tidbit that he may have forgotten to mention in the talk that comes up later on, but that’s really it

P -> Patience (How easily angered are they?)

seteth has the patience of a saint

hehe

but no, literally. very rarely does he get irritated or impatient with you. you know how he is and know how he likes things to happen or be done, so you do them. kind of like in the Domestic headcanon, he does his part so you try your hardest to do yours. he doesn’t ever have a reason to be impatient with you and is actually rather understanding now that he knows how you function as well

Q -> Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

seteth remembers everything. literally everything. you’d think in his 1000+ years of life, he’d be an old ass man with shit memory, but no. to seteth, you and flayn are his number one priority and he’d never forget a thing about yall.

R -> Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

seteth’s favorite memory is when he accidentally walked in on you hanging out flayn. you two weren’t doing much other than reading and talking about your books, but it warmed his heart to see his two favorite people bonding

S -> Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

insanely protective, but like in things that matter. if you’re doing something that could get you hurt, he’s in defense mode trying to get you to safety. if you’re in battle, he’s sure to always know where you are just in case.

he’s not one to appreciate being protected- he feels like he failed to protect his people in the past, so to be the protected instead of the protector makes him a little iffy- but he’ll always admit that he needed the protection and will always show his gratitude

count how many times i said protect in that second paragraph wow

T -> Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, etc?)

seteth is romantic. he’s not much for physical gifts, but the memories and sentiment and feelings are so real and present that you really don’t need material things to know that he loves you

of course he does give you gifts, like a pretty bouquet of flowers that he saw in the greenhouse, or a necklace or something from the market that reminded him of you

U -> Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

seteth tends to forget to slow down and take a break every once in a while. he’s constantly finding tasks to do around the monastery and doing things to help rhea that he often neglects his own well being. you always remind him and try your best to help him out, but he never really breaks that habit

V -> Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks? Do your looks bother them?)

seteth is rather concerned about how he’s seen in the public eye. how could he not? he’s a very prim and proper man. this, however, doesnt extend to you as much.

he doesn’t expect you to dress up to the nines every day just to be seen around him or whatever. he may be like “darling, are you sure you want to be walking around the monastery in your pajamas?” but the minute you’re like “hell yeah” he lets you be.

W -> Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

this is a tough one, because i feel like seteth would do just fine on his own and would still feel relatively whole. but there would always be like this tiny little sliver of him that constantly misses you when you’re not around

X -> Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

seteth has a secret, super playful side that only comes out when you’re alone in your shared bedroom. he likes to play wrestle you and mess around just to hear your laugh and see you smile.

Y -> Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, in general or in a partner?)

in a partner, seteth wouldn’t really like someone who’s obnoxiously loud and blatantly disrespectful. it’s one of his biggest pet peeves and he wouldn’t date someone like that.

this doesn’t pertain to people who like, don’t realize their volume or is disrespectful to someone who deserves the disrespect, though. he doesn’t like just overly rude and jnconfiderate people who are like that for no reason

Z -> Zzz (What’s a sleep habit of theirs? Does it change around a partner?)

seteth is the lightest sleeper in the history of the world. he’s always on guard for something to happen. i dont blame him, but sometimes even the littlest bumps in the night wake him up almost completely. don’t ever try to sneak out of bed because chances are, he woke up from you just opening your eyes.

if anything, this habit becomes even more prominent when you start sharing a bed with him. he’s just afraid of losing you is all 😃

[mistymark]

[3:23am] phone booth + kissing with vigilante/s!jaemin (suggestive)

[note: this is not from the perspective of the vigilante/s protagonist, this is just a side story]

jaemin is way too smooth and confident for you to think he hasn't done this before. or maybe hes just never had a girl turn him down. you havent been drinking - much - but there's a drunken haze over your mind as you walk down the abandoned street on your way home. you’ve seen him around, sure, maybe flirted back and forth once or twice, but made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t sleep with him. because once he’s slept with you, he disappears. that's just how it went. and, despite all his flaws and emotional unavailability, you wanted him to stay.

so you can imagine your surprise when he offered to walk you home at 3am, especially when there were plenty of other girls around who were ten times more willing to give him what he wants.

but that's how you end up balancing on the edge of the sidewalk, laughing, jaemin walking along beside you, shaking his head but laughing along with you, his hand held up for you to grab whenever you feel like youre going to fall off the curb. but how could you fall? how could you fall for the one person who will never fall with you? you cannot let yourself fall.

and through that cloudiness that covers your mind like a blanket, you tell him just that. “jaemin,” you catch his attention. his eyes somehow manage to sparkle in the low light. you don’t look at him, “I can’t let myself fall for you.”

it feels like the night has rapidly become colder, as if uttering those words have sobered you up completely. he doesn’t know how to respond to that, because it’s true, you can’t let yourself fall for him. and he doesn’t expect you to. he doesn’t want you to.

the cracking sound of thunder breaks the silence between you two, and then suddenly it’s raining. he looks up at the sky, then around the darkened streets. they’re illuminated by street lamps, yet every second or third is broken and flickering, though some just don’t give off any light at all. he’d have to be stupid to take you to any of the buildings, especially in this area of the city, despite the fact that they may provide shelter in the oncoming rainstorm.

your hair is beginning to stick to your forehead, your makeup is probably running by now, and you can feel the cold beginning to seep through your clothing. there’s a phone booth further down the street, and jaemin seems to spot it the same time you do, grabbing your hand and quickly leading you to it, forcing the door open with his shoulder and pulling you inside. the light in the roof of the booth is on, which honestly surprises you, as theyre normally punched out after two weeks of their replacement.

the phone booth is not meant for two. and that becomes increasingly obvious as you try and shut the door, barricading yourself from the rain, which is coming down in thick, stinging droplets. jaemins back is pressed against one of the walls, while you lean against the door. he leans his head back on the glass, letting his eyes close.

you take a deep breath and push your wet hair from your face, attempting to wipe the skin under your eyes free of makeup. “of course it rains the one night I don’t bring an umbrella,” you laugh bitterly, your fingers coming away black from your mascara.

he opens his eyes and looks down his nose at you, a smile appearing on his face as he watches you try to wipe at your smeared makeup. his head tips forward, “hold on, hold on. here.” one hand comes up to rest under your chin, keeping your head in place, as the other rests comfortably on your cheek, his thumb softly wiping away the large smear. you almost laugh at the situation; jaemin, the person everyone wants in their bed, is helping you salvage what’s left of your makeup.

he’s so close and he’s cupping your face and he’s looking into your eyes and it’s all too much. his scent, his smirk, his sense of confidence. it all overwhelms you, causing your eyes to glaze over in contentment as you stare at him. its just so nice to look at him.

his thumb freezes in place when he notices the look in your eyes, and his eyes flit between your eyes and your lips. the air stands still as you wait for something to happen, the sound of the harsh rain outside now white noise to you. your body is hyperfocused on jaemin and jaemin only. time is frozen. it’s like he’s debating whether or not to do something, as if a tiny part of his emotionless body doesn’t want to kiss you.

part of you wants that to be true. part of you wants to be the exception, despite knowing there never are exceptions when it comes to jaemin. there’s sex and there’s lust, but there’s never any love. never any point in trying to be loved. not by him.

part of you doesn’t want him to kiss you.

but then he is kissing you. his lips smash into yours, his hands moving to either side of your face as steps forward, forcing you to step back into the glass door, your hands instinctively moving to clutch the fabric of his shirt. it’s harsh and it’s fast and it’s absolutely incredible.

you’re willing your knees not to buckle, but at this point you don’t really care because you’re completely and utterly consumed by him. he’s intoxicating, a drug that you can feel yourself forming an addiction to.

your mind screams at you but you don’t listen, too fixated on his hands at your jaw, his hips pressed against your body, his tongue in your mouth. when you moan quietly into the kiss, you can feel the way the corner of his mouth pulls upward in satisfaction, one of his hands now sliding down from your neck to your waist, the other remaining in its place, keeping your lips on his, his thumb moving ever so slightly along your jaw. his touch is too soft to be dangerous, you think, though you know it to be false.

you stay like that for what feels like the longest time in the world, completely safe, completely consumed, completely overwhelmed. kissing jaemin will do that to you; give you a false sense of hope for what could be, rather than what is. kissing jaemin is exactly what you knew to be true - momentary exhilaration before the eventual lasting disappointment. but you let yourself live in that moment - your mind registering everything and nothing all at the same time.

you could feel his hands on your body, his lips on your skin, his breaths, his hair, his body. you could feel everything. yet, when this is all over, you will remember none of it.

you won’t remember the way his hands grip at your waist, or the way his lips detach from yours to move to your neck, the way his hair feels between your fingers and the way his hips press harder into yours instinctively when you squirm beneath him, eliciting soft moans from the both of you.

the scent of his cologne and the feel of his hair and the sound of his deep laughter whenever you make a sound will be forgotten.

you will remember you kissed, you will remember you loved it - possibly a little too much - and you will remember everything that happened before and after it. you will not remember anything that happened between.

it doesn’t take long for you to become breathless. a loud dinging noise causes him to pull away slightly, resting his forehead against yours, his breaths coming out in shallow pants as he tries to catch his breath.

he stays like that for a second. he stays for a second.

and then the hand that was stroking your jaw pulls away to reach into his back pocket, pulling out his phone. he leans back against the glass, subconsciously wipes at his lip with his thumb as he checks it. he doesn’t open whatever the notification is, but he pauses and stands straighter, looking around, his phone slipping back into his jeans. the panels of the booth have fogged up, but he reaches for the door, “the rain’s stopped.”

you’re stunned, left cold once the warmth of his body retreats to his side of the booth. your lips still sting with his presence, and your body feels like it’s on fire. jaemin, on the hand, looks normal. he opens the door and squeezes out, holding it open with one hand and offering the other to you to take.

you slide your hand in his, and he leads you out, as if he knows you need as much assistance as you can get after that kiss. but once you’re standing steadily on the pavement, his hand leaves yours, any connection between you two vanishing as quickly as it appeared.

he walks you home, talking to you as if nothing happened, laughing in a way that’s too loud and too happy for the abandoned streets, for the aftermath of that kiss. you force yourself not to focus on it, not to focus on him - but it’s all you can think about.

“do you want to come in?” you ask when he drops you off at your door.

he gives you a smile that would be almost pitiful if it weren’t so beautiful. you already know the answer. normally, he would. but whatever text he got back in the phone booth takes priority.

“i’ll see you again, then?” and you hate yourself for sounding so hopeful.

“of course,” his smile is wide, innocent, stunning.

and full of lies.

because the second you shut the door, he vanishes from your life. you never see him again.

[benniebenniebenniebennie]

klimt (august 2018)

like a pearl

like the sexless voices

that flood the throats of cathedrals

i am the one you touch

at the bottom of the night

the loom that holds me

deeply in your sight

i am shallow

like breath in fog

sea without moon

the light in the jar of your dull summer night

the one who softly coaxes sound from a bell

behind my eyes

i pluck the secrets billowing

within the skirts

hinged between the forests we shared

the perfect moment comes

debris piling up at the feet of an angel

my father digs the snuff from his cheek

i am shooting bullfrogs

mining the mystery

from each lake

each dream is drowning

in the ponds behind your eyes

you in the passenger seat

and i drunk as a poet

beneath streetlights listening

to suicide with windows down

the dark racing through my hair

like minnows like birds evading death

the same way the brush

dances across a broken smile

o schoolgirl from whose thighs the moon draws blood

o pretty memory

i am going to die

i did not want to know

the summer is an illusion

of childhood seeing

figures in the dark

dancing in the shed light

what goes on between your thighs

o godless plane

o children of dust incest & death

men want each other to suffer

hear an ear popping crush

the distance between the stars is full of many nothings

this was the childhood i was given

delusion, selfishness, the grand scheme, cancelled plans

how many loves does it take to end all suffering

i think about every one

and the murderous few

i am staring you in the eyes

the crumbling statue i love

i fill the couches of each friend’s home i do not know when to leave

my shadow in the cushions and my body moving homeward beneath

the streetlights disappearing into the past

some loves are a forest fire others are rain

after you see yourself replaced & realize you’re nothing at all

feel free to be an insect inside yourself

wading through backwaters

to be the secret you keep from your friends

there are children asking to be born

i am running toward the future

between your lips where i will stay

there is a lust beyond anything known

tucked between dreams like the body and sleep

i have touched the bottom of the ocean

i’ve prayed to god

i’ve wasted my life

there are days when life’s strangeness stares you in the face with a mask

i have taken money from people i love

i have felt water in my lungs

here’s the point of no return

i have stuck my tongue where it doesn’t belong

honey dripping down the legs

from the corners of the mouth

a burning in the soul of instant regret

don’t just stand outside the light

become the nothing you’ve been hurried to since birth

a sick dream of drowning love

time is a capitalist tool

besides the suffering nurtured in cathedrals and in loveless beds all things erode

shadow and anti-shadow

the algae tended to by dragonflies within the sinuses

transcendence

yearning

aching at thought of being a woman

a gold leaf to eat

to starve the poor

every child drowned in a bathtub

every stillborn pried from a mother’s arms

there is a light that never goes out

there is a smothered dream

driving into the opposite lane

it plucks the innocence from every thing

longing to bury its ship in the delta of dreams

calling you in my sleep

my body is a well of discomfort

i want something to hold

the sound contained within a still string

there’s infinity in every thing

i know you can grow fond of me it takes some loneliness

and everything will level like stars forcing through the crescent

moon of the outhouse

death strikes like a snake

there is no regret it is a disease

not every thing is meant to be perfect

there is fire behind my eyes

there are stones in the riverbed

created and stacked like bricks

there is not a world where advertising and art coexist peacefully

the best things drown us transcend existence

everything must have its negative

the shadow and anti-shadow the body and the air i am expelling my brain

onto the corpse of a tree roaming through the words

theyre better with fermentation like the age of automatic death

o when i reach

my hand

into the water

and pull out

a clump of pearls

am i polluting the world with pain

avarice forcing upon the innocent my human game

the morning is cool coals painting in shadow

all these young girls in flower

the past is culture at the bottom of a can

pain is taken lightly

violence is picking fruit from a tree

we are to expect and accept this death

my love with your face sleep-swollen

the embodiment of memory

thunder softly boiling the sky

our fingers moved through the forbidden world

beyond being and time

my ancestry belongs to words

the soap of thought a secret place

i want to know

is each tear a different sadness

do you exist beyond the confines of my brain and its inability to understand

that one can love once and not again

do we want to be free or do we want to beyond the cycle of our sad brains

every day not with you is not a waste

time loses value without a tether to real

reality is a drug

a relationship between hand eye soul brain  

in a single line the sun bursts through

rain storm

solipsism like eating the meat of an animal you never saw live

each christian is dipped in blood i am not a machine

for no reason walking between rows of sunflowers

moving between shaved legs

there is a flowery hillside

lying in the future in which i was your enemy

between the fences of time i lie in wait

carrying a lavender bough

my insides is bubbling

i have seen films where men die for no reason

when reason’s there it makes no difference  

love nestles its head between the thighs of morality

none of my ancestors saw these films

they had real life, a broken mirror, bad luck

laws of the land: suicide, money

mercy, weakness, violence

if you allow me one more chance

i will carry your love for you

& kneel in the field history tends every day

[ab-artist]

HIMYM

Buckle up fothermuckers, i have an idea

Imag: oh no

Me: shut

Anyway, who here has watched how i met you mother? Some of you? Hmm well the rest go look for a summary so u can understand

Anyway basically what im thinking is a sander sides HIMYM AU, except y'know different

Here are the HIMYM character

Lily

A kindergarten teacher/artist, married to marshal, pretty wise, will cut a bitch for her friend (not literally, except she does have a Your Dead To Me face)

Marshal

Married to lily, very sweet and polite, lawyer, is very honest(and brutally honest if need be)

Ted

Architect, waiting for The One, the narrator, nice, dorky, very serious, a romantic

Robin

BAMF, newscaster, very independent, dog lover

Barney

The flirt, playboy, has a very well paying job (please), very eccentric

Alright so each of those is a sanders side. And you can mish mash whoever you want where but for me its-

virgil

Patton

Roman

Deceit

Logan

Respectively

I can hear you "logan? A flirt? A playboy? What? Why?" im glad u asked

You see, remember the valentines video? Sure he didnt actually flirt, but he's a smart boi he'd figure it out. Im sure if the point was to get someone to bed he'd deal with it the same way. Which is why i put him in that role. Although he'd be less a playboy and more "i found this person hot and im attracted to them so ill see if theyre interested in a one-night stand".

And now for ships and hc's for this AU

SHIPS

Moxiety

Roman x The One

Loceit

(if you want to know who the one is, cus u plan on writing this, mssg me. You dont have to use the person i recommend btw)

HC'S

Trans! Virgil

I think ill have virgil keep the job kindergarten teacher(/artist)

He short too (but got some muscle)

Also tall patton (not marshal tall but taller than virgil)

Hmmm i was gonna give him different jobs but i think ill keep patton as a lawyer too

Deceit is gonna be a journalist

Cus y'know the stereotype for them is that their liars and theyre assholes who dont care

Well my dear deceit(damien) fits

Except he does care, he loves his job and the stories he finds

Logans job will stay the same(please)

Now for the actual story.

(And no there wont be any roceit after the beginning. None)

So itll basically follow something similar to the HIMYM storyline.

Roman is out hanging with everyone

He's moping and complaining to logan about being single and not having found the one yet

When he sees this cute guy in a green sweater(originality is hard)

Cute guy eyes him too

He tells logan

"Just go talk to him" "what if he's not into guys" "he is giving you side glances as we speak go talk to him"

Cute guy walks over to get a drink

"Haaaaave you met roman" "wait- lo-.....hi"

I wish i could just bulletpoint the entire story but i cant. But as i said, no roceit after they first meet and date.

But as a tip just look at the episodes and pick which ones you want as chapters. As for the people roman dates

Emile picani

Toby

Remy

Anton

Steve (story time guy)

They'll be Replacing from the original, respectively as-

Victoria

Pumpkin girl

Stella

Zoey

Jeannette (crazy bitch)

Got it? Good. Time for last names

Virgil Storm

Patton Hart

Roman Knight

Damien Shea

Logan Berry

And thats all i got, man this sumbitch got long

My Sanders Stories tag: @allycat31415 @ninjago2020 @ajdraws0430 @singingjo @detroit-become-pan @katatles-the-fish   @sanders-trash-4ever

[joeljoelwarr]

Dating Min Yoongi Would Include:

Warning: None, maybe.

Genre: FLUFF ABSOLUTE FLUFF I LOVED WRITING THIS

--

omg 

okay

omg im

omg im not ready for this alright lets go i have so many feelings about this

once i get started you beTTER BUCKLE UP Because this is going to be a rollercoaster from start to finish

your name is literally replaced with "babe"

"babe have you seen my jacket"

"where's my hat babe"

"BABE NO"

he would have the biGGEST soft spot for you okay literally as big as the one for holly

you wake him up

"oh hi"

MEMBERS wake him up- 

"what the fu-"

"Y/N's asking for you"

"oh okay." 

he will literally climb out of the window of his studio to get to you if someone told him you were sick

"babe im here"

"yOonGI"

Kissing

many people think that he would be super lazy but i honestly think he wouldn't

no

he would place his hands on your face pull you as close as possible

of course if you didn't want a kiss he would pout as muCH AS HE CAN to get a kiss from you

CUDDLES HE

LOVES

CUDDLES AND SKINSHIP

you lay on the couch?

better expect him to walk in and lay between your legs with his head on your stomach and you best play with your hair he loves it when you play with his hair

ANOTHER THING

Couple Things

despite popular belief

he loves couple clothes

matching his and her shirts

he will wear a mickey mouse 'husband' shirt if you ask him to

he will wear a unicorn fudging onesie if you asked him to

just because its your couple match day and you asked him to

couple phone cases

you best believe he has a phone case of a princess and if your phone case isn't the matching prince he will pout

pouting yoongi will break your resolve

just gET THE DAMN PHONE CASE YOU MONSTER

MATCHING BACKGROUNDS

he will take a picture of the two of you maybe youre sleeping but he will take it

and you best expect that on his phone is the part of the picture with you

and he expects you to use the side he’s on on your phone

and who am i kidding you probably will

skYPe calls lATE at night when he cant focus on work

“darling you need to work”

“i can’t work without you here babe”

“yOoNgi”

asks you to bring a pillow and a blanket to his studio

sleep there man he can only work when you’re there

Dates

the cHEESIEST OF PLACES

even more cheesy than jin’s pUNS

none of the boys know he takes you to these places dont tell them

amusement parks

aquariums

rEGULAR parks

picnics 

or

diners?

no picnics, forget the diner theyre too loud

laying on a soft blanket and just reSTING

jUST RESTING

pretending you’re all away from the rush of idol life

the rush of fans

he will make the picnic in a fUdGiNg TrEe if he has to

all to keep you away from the fans

Fans

they find out anyway

they love you?????

lIKE I MEAN YEAH, They ship yoonmin and yoonseok and taegi and matter of other things but yOU

You make him smile

You make him happy

you make him joke around and overall feel like he never had a mental illness in the first place!

like he never hated himself!

never suffered!

he has the softest spot for you and they can SEE that!!!!

their ship just changes because you are so much better for him

at least if they found out

(he wouldn’t let them find out until he proposes just saying)

Back to Dates

most dates are just inside honestly though

watching a movie and cuddling

playing with Holly when you’re over at his moms with him

Min Yoongi just sits there aDMIRING YOU AND YOUR CUTENESS YOU’RE SO CUTE

SO CUTE.

I LOVE YOU AND I HAVENT EVEN MET YOU YOU’RE SO CUTE.

lEtS TaLk AbOuT MaRrIaGe

he will propose to you in the most unromantic place

literally the middle of his studio

youll walk in

you think he just wants you to sleep in there again

newsfLASH

he doesn’t

he’s sitting there with his studio decorated with

1. fairy lights?????!?!?

2. sofT THINGS?!?!?1 (that you love)

he’s on one knee in the middle of the room

you walk in and hes just

there

you walk in and just

drop

all the items youre carrying

right to the floor yep

he stumbles so much omg

soft baby

hes so cute

his pouty lips and everyTHING HNNNNNNNNGHHHHHHH

okay enough

“Y/N i-i... look- i- uGH this is so much harder than I thought it would be”

“yes”

“i didn’t even ask you yet”

“DoNt MaTtEr YeS”

The Wedding

the smallest thing?

literally

family members you’re close to

siblings

parents

specific cousins 

and then your closest friends

aka bangtan (obviously)

and your best friends (or mutuals if you want heLL I’d love to be a bridesmaid for you) as your bridesmaids

but its so special 

and perfect????

you wouldn’t trade it for anything

oMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Wedding Night LIL BABIES DONT READ actually you can its not detailed whatsoever

everything 

is

about

you

you wanna rest because you’re tired?

alright we’ll rest it was a big day

you want to be all over him?

nOpe its about you 

sit your butt down and let him pleasure you okay

if you’ve never done it

boi will be so careful

makes you feel like a literal queen okay

Honeymoon

basically

the fluffiest shiz you can imagine mkay

matching outfits

piggy back rides (if you like them, if he can pfft you’re all beautiful and perfect dont change

kisses

eSkimo kisses

BUTTERFLY KISSES WHEN YOU’RE NOT EXPECTING IT

YOU THINK HE WON’T DO IT? too bad you’re not the one writing this

random kisses

in the middle of eating when you have whipped cream on your lips 

he just

kisses it off

boi messes with yer head man

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

PREGNANCY

BOI TRIES TO LIFT YOU OFF YOUR FEET

HE’S JUST THE HAPPIEST THING YOUVE EVER SEEN

BOI IS NONSTOP SMILING

HE’S SCREAMIN LIKE TAE AND HOBI COMBINED

he kisses you so passionately it makes you weak in your knees

and then it hits him fully

and he just

“wHY ARE YOU STANDING UP AND COOKING GO SIT DOWN”

“YoOnGi Im NoT eVEn ShoWiNg”

too bad

treats you like a piece of glass when you DO start showing

doesn’t even care if you yell at him during mood swings because he just knows

he did research

which means he asked namjoon basically

mmmm the baby comes along

he’s a mess

freaking out

“DID YOU PACK YOUR TOOTH BRUSH”

“Yoongi I have the bag just get me to the hospital”

he’s a wRECK

he’s worried about you

worried about the baby

and iS ThIs NorMal?!

don’t worry it is

sweet lil baby

you blame him once

and he just

yes

this is my fault i am sorry

okay

THE BABY

as SOON as your daughter is in his arms

boi’s gone

he’s in love

he thought he knew what love was

he thought he’d never share his love with anyone but you

but bOI was he wrong

hes looking at this little squishy potato that has your eyelashes

his eye color

your nose

and his smile 

and aHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

he’s lost the battle

its over

he’s already head over heels for this baby

“thIs Is oUr BaBy?!”

“yes”

“she’s like a little potato flower”

“wtf”

literally either names her Dumpling like a potato dumpling or Flower

okay no

you wouldn’t let him it’s Min Y/D/N

Holly is livin with yall now

literal protector

sleeps on Y/D/N’s bed eVERY night

guarding this little potato dumpling who smiles like a star

anyone but you and yoongi come near her

holly will

bORF

this is so long

have a picture of Y/D/N for forgiveness, but im not done

AND YOUR SON

WHEN Y/D/N IS ALMOST 2 YOU’RE PREGNANT AGAIN

YOONGI IS THE MOST EXCITED PUPPY EVER BECAUSE

TWO IS THE PERFECT NUMBER

gosh he hopes its a boy 

literally knows its a boy

i mean he decided

thats how chromosomes work

thank you for reading

have Y/S/N as well

he looks exactly like you

[hgfstreamchats]

The Room

Welcome to the 'highglossfinish' room. Jalaperilo: Hello! Knock Out: Hello, Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo: *squints* Jalaperilo: what the hell? Knock Out: I have no clue. Jalaperilo: haha Jalaperilo: who made you do this? Knock Out: Excellent question. Jalaperilo: somehow, this isn't worst than The Room? Knock Out: Oh, that's encouraging. Jalaperilo: Oh doc, you're in for a treat Knock Out: I can't wait.

Jalaperilo: the first time I watched this was also on a random stream i found. it was also the stream where I found the epic horror that is Re-Animator Knock Out: Which we also need to stream someday. Knock Out: Are...are they all interfacing with each other? Jalaperilo: please dont judge human interfacing on this film Knock Out: No promises. Knock Out: Dear Unicron, get on with it. Jalaperilo: im dying Knock Out: Gah! Jalaperilo: i have my head in my hands Knock Out: That was completely relevant and necessary. Jalaperilo: just like this movie Jalaperilo: cause hes terrible in bed Knock Out: What, humans don't like spastic little hip twitches? Jalaperilo: that arent in the vicinity of where they should actually be thrusting? Knock Out: He tried. Sort of. Jalaperilo: does he get a gold star with 'you tried' on it? Knock Out: He gets one of the lopsided ones. Matches his technique. Jalaperilo: hahah! Knock Out: Gladly. Jalaperilo: hehe Jalaperilo: oh no. please dont. he's my friend *DOES NOTHING TO RESIST SLEEPING WITH HER* Knock Out: Way to stick to your guns there, human we just met. Jalaperilo: he has the breaking strain of a kit kat Knock Out: Hah! Knock Out: What actually is he supposed to be penetrating? Knock Out: *exactly Jalaperilo: unless she has some weird random holes in her, i dont know what theyre stabbing at Knock Out: That's the plot twist. Jalaperilo: thats she's actually a sponge Knock Out: Or in possession of some kind of prehensile protein sleeve. Jalaperilo: erg Knock Out: Go back to the fat pug. Jalaperilo: this kid is creepy Knock Out: He grew up to be one of the sex offender shufflers. Jalaperilo: hahah! Jalaperilo: she ordwered the worst pizza Knock Out: Isn't that supposed to be one of those human foods you can't ruin? Knock Out: And yet, somehow, she did? Jalaperilo: please dont maake love again Knock Out: Oh, please, no. Not again. Knock Out: Have mercy. Jalaperilo: you cant get away ko Jalaperilo: we both have to live with this Knock Out: We have to live with his sloppy twitches. thenightetc: ...What did I walk in on Jalaperilo: get out while you can Jalaperilo: hello btw Knock Out: Run, and live well. Knock Out: And hello. thenightetc: (Lost track of time and tumblr decided not to alert me that there were new posts!  :') ) Jalaperilo: blah blah blah btw i have cancer. anyway.... thenightetc: the acting is really... something. Jalaperilo: have you never seen this before either? Jalaperilo: you're in for as right treat thenightetc: I have not.  I've just heard it's notoriously terrible thenightetc: It's the... Wisseau thing right? Knock Out: It is indeed. Jalaperilo: yes Knock Out: Who's this unfortunate soul? thenightetc: :( Jalaperilo: urgh thenightetc: I was 80% sure that was leading up to murder thenightetc: Just felt like one of those scenes, y'know? Jalaperilo: probably would have done the plot a favour with a murder or two Knock Out: That makes it worse! Cardinal: Hello, hello! Knock Out: Cardinal! How good to see you! Jalaperilo: hello! Knock Out: But how tragic you're here. thenightetc: So, ah, what all did I miss in terms of plot? thenightetc: ...Oh?  Murder time NOW? Jalaperilo: tommy is the best ever, lisa hates him one minute and loves him the next Jalaperilo: you also missed2 bad sex scenes Jalaperilo: there is no cohearent plot Cardinal: I see what you mean by tragic. thenightetc: He was JUST yelling about money, it's obvious "what he wants" Jalaperilo: how does one accidentally buy drugs lol thenightetc: Where did that guy come from Knock Out: They obviously care deeply for the 36 year old man they adopted. Jalaperilo: haha thenightetc: oh no Jalaperilo: stop making aliens think humans are terrible at sex! thenightetc: Please tell me they're not going to phone sex now Starscreamapillar: Good, I have not missed out on too much madness. Knock Out: No, just several abysmal fragging scenes. Knock Out: Welcome to the disaster, by the way. Cardinal: Oh, did I miss the stair sex? Cardinal: ha ha ha what a story mark Starscreamapillar: I am not at all displeased to have missed out on those. Jalaperilo: lucky you cardinal thenightetc: Yes count your blessings Knock Out: What a charmer. Jalaperilo: thanks for dissing my gender thenightetc: I wish they'd both fall off the roof. Starscreamapillar: This human learned how to speak from the Internet, didn't he. Knock Out: Shuut Cardinal: *gun fingers* shuut thenightetc: What is he implying here Jalaperilo: there is a big theory on the net that tommy wiseau isnt actually human Cardinal: hahn? Knock Out: That's...actually quite plausible? thenightetc: It's not nice to mock whatever speech impediment or accent or whatever he has, guys. Starscreamapillar: Are conversations normally carried out at a recline like that? thenightetc: Why is her friend all shocked that she doesn't want to marry the guy who hit her thenightetc: Terrible friend Jalaperilo: this is how humans emote yes? Starscreamapillar: Apparently. FeralDog: goonai lisa Starscreamapillar: Ah yes. They are in the totally real alley. Cardinal: Of course! FeralDog: this looks so.... buffy the vampire slayer knockoff FeralDog: I keep expecting the undead to strike thenightetc: I keep hoping for the undead to strike. FeralDog: you know... Knock Out: This movie is like a victim of head trauma, dazed and wandering through a field somewhere. FeralDog: there supposedly was a vampire subplot that Wiseau nixed? Jalaperilo: hyoomans throw football as bonding yes? Cardinal: ((Apparently Tommy Wiseau did originally want to enter onto the roof on a flying car Cardinal: ((and--yeah, the vampire reveal)) thenightetc: Oh boy!  Is he dying Cardinal: ((But he didn't nix it, he wanted it Cardinal: ((they talked him out of it Starscreamapillar: And then he ate that younger man. Jalaperilo: he ends up eating somethign alright thenightetc: ...well, that's not alarming Jalaperilo: the only plot this film has is everyone is terrible except tommy who is perfect Starscreamapillar: Somehow I get the feeling even watching this from the beginning wouldn't have it make any more sense. FeralDog: he's not even looking at the psych Starscreamapillar: I doubt that man's credentials. FeralDog: he says dejectedly Jalaperilo: time to tell us how *** women are? FeralDog: yep Cardinal: oh no the psychologist knows thenightetc: Johnny does sort of look like he's halfheartedly dressing up as a vampire Cardinal: "Can I meet the married woman you're boinking?" thenightetc: Totally normal question to ask Knock Out: I feel like I've blown a neural circuit. Jalaperilo: you made love twivce in this film already FeralDog: You keep playing psychologist with us! now let me ask you questions a psychologist should answer! Cardinal: Shh, shhhh.  Let the words eat away at your processor.  The pain will recede soon. Jalaperilo: cheep cheep cheep thenightetc: oh god Starscreamapillar: .... Cardinal: cheep cheep cheep thenightetc: is he going to--No, I guess not Cardinal: I NEVER ATE SO MUCH FeralDog: the only sane comment Jalaperilo: *wink* FeralDog: this sounds like he's making it up as  he goes and the music is not helping thenightetc: ...I don't think that's how checks work Jalaperilo: just ndissing the *** outta you lisa Starscreamapillar: I don't think any of this is how it works. Cardinal: Denny why are you sitting on the floor Starscreamapillar: Sit on the floor, with the front door open. Jalaperilo: denny asked her for a kiss earlier thenightetc: Do iiiiiiit FeralDog: i almost feel like the vampire subplot would make this make sense. in a he's hypnotized too many people and now can't keep control of the illusions so the wor;d's gone mad around him,,,,,, Jalaperilo: is knock out still with us or did he actually fry his processor? Starscreamapillar: I envy him if he did brown out. This is painful. Knock Out: Theoretically, I'm still here. Jalaperilo: sorry i tried to throw you off a building? Jalaperilo: good. was worried you'd left us to suffer on our own FeralDog: yeah, man it's totally fine. happens all the time Cardinal: He already knows your secret. Cardinal: I'm so depressed bro Jalaperilo: aint we all? Starscreamapillar: That small door. thenightetc: The roof bothers me more.  Looks so fake. Jalaperilo: none of these suits fit even slightly Cardinal: *ominous music*  He shaaaved Starscreamapillar: They found the suits in a box in their fake alley. FeralDog: wwwwwwwwwhat Cardinal: . . . . . Jalaperilo: lol Cardinal: well Cardinal: I wish Trogdor were here to see this. Cardinal: Maybe he could make sense of it. Jalaperilo: is tommy trogdor's holoavatar? Knock Out: Fact! Starscreamapillar: Did they have a reason to be wearing tuxedos earlier? thenightetc: Maybe they were trying them on to make sure they fit? Cardinal: . . . nice segue. Starscreamapillar: No one paid for those drinks. Starscreamapillar: Drat. Now I must suffer through this. Jalaperilo: god Knock Out: For the love of Unicron, no. Cardinal: Shield your optics! Jalaperilo: can unicron come eat us? Starscreamapillar: I think exploding again would be less painful than this. FeralDog: do we really need to see the ENTIRE sex scene FeralDog: a fadeout would be appreciated Starscreamapillar: How is this still going on?! Jalaperilo: in all 4? sex scenes, no one seems to have thrust anywhere near her vagine Knock Out: What I tell you? Protein sleeve. Jalaperilo: oh year lol Jalaperilo: *yeah FeralDog: more football based bonding Starscreamapillar: I feel as though you could replace these actors with golden retreivers and lose nothing. Jalaperilo: 'i saw a hyooman program with this so all hyoomans do this bonding' Knock Out: Please, no. Cardinal: AGAIN? thenightetc: Again?! Knock Out: Not again. No more. Cardinal: *weeps quietly* thenightetc: Please let something burst in and eat them Knock Out: Oh, thank you! Cardinal: Wow, Lisa. Jalaperilo: was there anything like this on cybertron? thenightetc: Some of the audio seems a little... desynched or something thenightetc: Is this... dubbed? Starscreamapillar: If there was, I certainly didn't watch it. Knock Out: I think this might be one of those "once in a universe" things. Jalaperilo: *** Jalaperilo: we really are the worst species Cardinal: Well, you are the spawn of Unicron. Knock Out: Take a bow. thenightetc: Excuse me, I'm not taking the blame for this movie. thenightetc: How dare. Jalaperilo: us all watching this now are now linked in a shared, horrific experience Starscreamapillar: As if I didn't already have enough horrifying experiences in my life. Jalaperilo: i like being the spawn of another species' devil thenightetc: ...Yikes thenightetc: What the *** Starscreamapillar: The film's writer clearly had some unresolved issues. thenightetc: You think? Jalaperilo: would you believe that tommy wiseau wrote ANd sirected AND acted in this? Jalaperilo: *directed Cardinal: Yes. Knock Out: And funded it, and apparently no one knows how. Starscreamapillar: Yes. Yes I would. Jalaperilo: alien money Cardinal: Deal with Unicron. Jalaperilo: probably traded a load of shanix with a skuxxoid Starscreamapillar: Are you certain he didn't kidnap these people, and force them to be in his film? thenightetc: Oh god, they're going to sneak off for another sex scene, aren't thy Starscreamapillar: 'Sneak'? thenightetc: Well. Cardinal: As Shockwave would say, "illogical." Jalaperilo: shockwave would shutdown at this film Cardinal: . . . Cardinal: I'm going to show it to him. Cardinal: Whoa, someone did the impossible and came BACK into the house. Knock Out: Sensitive with genuine human emotions. Cardinal: Leave your STUPID comments in your pocket! thenightetc: That's where I keep all *my* stupid comments. Cardinal: Good thinking!  Inviting my friends! Cardinal: What are they doing outside? Cardinal: I just? Cardinal: Alternate, help. Jalaperilo: cardinal is crashing lol thenightetc: Oh god. Knock Out: I can't help you. I'm so very, very sorry. Knock Out: I'm lost. I'm gone. Cardinal: *whimpers* thenightetc: *facepalm* Starscreamapillar: Surely he won't be able to count to nine months from now. Jalaperilo: haha thenightetc: That guy does look sort of like Xander Knock Out: Who *are* you? Jalaperilo: i think they swapped out an actor Starscreamapillar: No one will notice this loud conversation in public about her cheating. Knock Out: Doesn't matter, had cake. Jalaperilo: haha! thenightetc: They're hardly subtle about it.  Maybe everyone already knows. Cardinal: What do you mean, look at this subterfuge Cardinal: What do you mean, look at this subterfuge Jalaperilo: what planet IS he from? thenightetc: What do you mean, I always slow dance with my platonic friends Knock Out: I've spent the last hour pondering that same question. Starscreamapillar: He is fed up with this world. Knock Out: Most alien species that can mimic other species tend to be good at it. thenightetc: Hey, you know what would be funny after this? Knock Out: What? Jalaperilo: icepick lobotomy> Jalaperilo: ? Cardinal: "And I DEFINITELY have breast cancer." thenightetc: Just look for "arrested development chicken dance" on youtube Knock Out: Consider it done. thenightetc: I'm sure there are a BUNCH of clips caffienatedglitter: henlo Starscreamapillar: Someone had better end up murdered at the end of this. Knock Out: I hope it's me. thenightetc: For some reason I'd gotten the impression this was a horror movie Jalaperilo: you may just get your wish tonight screamy Starscreamapillar: The horror is in sitting through it. caffienatedglitter: oh god caffienatedglitter: EWWWW Starscreamapillar: Do Not call me that. thenightetc: :( Knock Out: I think we can agree we've all lost something precious tonight. caffienatedglitter: what did i walk in on Jalaperilo: you are the lucky one, to only suffer the end of this caffienatedglitter: how is the audio from the other end of the phone line so clear thenightetc: ...He already knew they were cheating together though? caffienatedglitter: what is his accent thenightetc: https://www.reddit.com/r/linguistics/comments/1gs6ol/what_the_heck_is_going_on_with_tommy_wiseaus_voice/ caffienatedglitter: he angery thenightetc: Not sure if there's an actual answer there, per se caffienatedglitter: he screm Thebes: Oh man, I appear to have been late to the worst movie thenightetc: You are correct caffienatedglitter: KNOCKING THINGS OVER IS THE ONLY WAY A MOVIE CHARACTER CAN EXPRESS ANGER thenightetc: Chew that scenery!  CHEW thenightetc: Aren't they just upstairs from him?  Can't they hear this going on? Thebes: How delicately he moves those bedsheets Starscreamapillar: I am disappointed at the lack of murder spree. Jalaperilo: this is more acting than the rest of the film thenightetc: Uh caffienatedglitter: ewwwww thenightetc: Why this Jalaperilo: i forgot that bit! Cardinal: . . . caffienatedglitter: ewvwwhw wnvjhwvg' Thebes: I think this is ... supposed to be pathos? caffienatedglitter: oh god caffienatedglitter: dude stop Cardinal: I've been asking myself the same thing. caffienatedglitter: holy Knock Out: FRAG. caffienatedglitter: he's dead Thebes: yes. yes he is. thenightetc: dramatic slow-mo caffienatedglitter: ... caffienatedglitter: YAAAAAAAAAAAY Jalaperilo: well at least he got his daily amount of iron? caffienatedglitter: no, he's sleeping Starscreamapillar: Yes, just put your hand right in that. thenightetc: Yeah, get his blood all over your hands caffienatedglitter: so many diseases Jalaperilo: bet you werent expecting that Doc thenightetc: Disturb the scene a little more Thebes: PATHOS caffienatedglitter: seriously pathogens love to travel through blood Knock Out: I can honestly say I wasn't. caffienatedglitter: what do you mean you lost him YOU DUMPED HIM caffienatedglitter: ALSO MARK DIDNT YOU WANT TO SEX HER BEFORE Thebes: YES. YES HE DID Cardinal: LEAVE US thenightetc: Wow Knock Out: Don't leave that one alone with the body! Jalaperilo: this whole film is about tommy's messiah complex caffienatedglitter: CALL THE COPS caffienatedglitter: CALL THE COIPS YOU IDIOTS Jalaperilo: knock out! haha thenightetc: No, no, they'll want to handle the gun a bit first too thenightetc: Get their fingerprints all over it caffienatedglitter: i tyhought he saids he didnt have any friends now everyones sobbin over his body caffienatedglitter: piugblswk caffienatedglitter: ive only been here for TEWO MINUTES Thebes: WAIT Cardinal: Amazing. Thebes: HE WAS GRABBING HER HAIR caffienatedglitter: WHY Starscreamapillar: Well, that was about as bad as having my head blown off again. caffienatedglitter: WHAT IS THIS MUSIC caffienatedglitter: INAPROPRIATE MUCH Jalaperilo: sexytimes on the corpse music FeralDog: good god Thebes: There's appropriate anything in this movie? Knock Out: Denny is there also. caffienatedglitter: "assistant to mr. wiseau"???? five people??? FeralDog: I feel like I just survived a deadly fever caffienatedglitter: those poor performers Jalaperilo: they were the five humans that taught him how to act like one of us Thebes: oh, man, there's abook about the weird, troubled production of this movie. It's so out there it's getting made into its own movie caffienatedglitter: i wish i'd gotten here earlier thenightetc: You shouldn't. caffienatedglitter: you misunderstand caffienatedglitter: i am a masochist caffienatedglitter: more assisstants jesus caffienatedglitter: welp caffienatedglitter: is that it Knock Out: The assistants were there to keep the Wiseau human from poking himself. caffienatedglitter: oh dear Thebes: yeah you missed the bit about Denny being into drugs and the bizarre casual cancer subplot caffienatedglitter: the room is a meme, i know the basic plot caffienatedglitter: wait caffienatedglitter: cancer caffienatedglitter: WHEN DID CANCER GET INVOLVED thenightetc: Yeah, there was cancer Jalaperilo: the mum is all i'm dying, its deffo cancer, andyway, marry tommy FeralDog: This lady casually announced that she had breast cancer caffienatedglitter: ooooh right caffienatedglitter: what Knock Out: I just take the suggestions, I don't question them. caffienatedglitter: at least it isn't the cheeeep cheep cheep thenightetc: They ALL have one caffienatedglitter: cheeep chepchepcheepcheep Starscreamapillar: . . . . caffienatedglitter: wait caffienatedglitter: frag for a second i thought his voice was robin williams Knock Out: ... Knock Out: ... Knock Out: ...Well, this has been an enlightening evening. Starscreamapillar: I think that's misrepresentative. Jalaperilo: well. its 3am here. i hope you appreciate my sacrifice to watch that film Jalaperilo: goodnight all! Knock Out: I do. caffienatedglitter: it's only 10:00 here Knock Out: Goodnight! FeralDog: 7:00 here FeralDog: https://xkcd.com/1400/ thenightetc: Awwww, the chicken dance bit is great though.  Even if that was a little poorly edited together. FeralDog: ^relelvant! Thebes: ikr? caffienatedglitter: my god Knock Out: Makes sense to me. thenightetc: Huh. Thebes: ... there's a trailer for a movie where someone is paid to act as Tommy Wiseau FeralDog: oh dear god thenightetc: ...Not sure if I want to see that or not. caffienatedglitter: that or he's the devil made flesg Knock Out: You can't replicate what's going on with this human (?). And no one ever should. thenightetc: That would explain why he looks slightly uncanny Thebes: they get weirdly close. The Disaster Artist trailer, if you want to see for yourself caffienatedglitter: he looks like he's a collage of body parts cut froma magazine caffienatedglitter: but 3d Knock Out: My credits are still on "alien." caffienatedglitter: and also a pervet thenightetc: I read that as "flaming disaster" Starscreamapillar: I think he is a mimic of some kind. Starscreamapillar: And the football is there. Of course. Thebes: it kinda was? Like it's based off the book The Disaster Artist, which is entirely about trying to get this weird alien sock puppet to act thenightetc: Oh god, I didn't notice. caffienatedglitter: is that actually him caffienatedglitter: does he actually think people like this unironically FeralDog: maybe he's one of the fair folk. But he's bad at it. Thebes: maybe he's a bunch of groundhogs trying to pilot a human Knock Out: I like the news scrolling by. caffienatedglitter: they're trying Knock Out: "Also, some humans died or something." thenightetc: "Like us on Facebook!" Thebes: yeah, kinda. Underscores this. caffienatedglitter: it's a special kind of *** caffienatedglitter: jesus he's like caffienatedglitter: idk thenightetc: Yeah, sports references, that's what I look for in a movie Thebes: how is he keeping a straight face Starscreamapillar: His sunglasses are unsettling. Knock Out: He's hiding something behind there. I'm not certain I want to know what. thenightetc: Soundwave's visor. caffienatedglitter: he's hiding madness, and not very well Knock Out: Tommy Wiseau confirmed for Soundwave. caffienatedglitter: YOU STUDIED PSYCHOLOGY caffienatedglitter: NO caffienatedglitter: BULL caffienatedglitter: what is this thenightetc: We've all been where now? Starscreamapillar: His insane word-salad rambling. caffienatedglitter: is he a human???? caffienatedglitter: knock out please advise thenightetc: The other guy looks so embarassed Knock Out: No advice. He landed on your planet, he's your problem. Starscreamapillar: The other guy is likely concerned if he upsets Wiseau that he wil be consumed. Thebes: I would be thenightetc: Yeah, he does look like he could just unhinge his jaw and, y'know... caffienatedglitter: ubigowj caffienatedglitter: but he's scary caffienatedglitter: he talks like he's got marbled in his mouth Knock Out: If you have to ask, the answer is probably "Tommy Wiseau can most definitely unhinge his jaw and kill some people." caffienatedglitter: HES A SNAKE Starscreamapillar: Snakes do not talk so much. thenightetc: Lime green shirt with matching lime green tie :( Thebes: it's like he agressively doesn't care. caffienatedglitter: this is not a man of earthly cares caffienatedglitter: oh god what'sthis Starscreamapillar: He only cares for how many souls he can harvest, and how much flesh he can consume. thenightetc: SOUNDS LEGIT thenightetc: Is that a hearse Starscreamapillar: Yes. caffienatedglitter: "family kidnapped by ninjas" yeah totally believable caffienatedglitter: ew caffienatedglitter: what\ caffienatedglitter: EWWWWWWWWW thenightetc: What the *** Knock Out: Alright, enough of that. caffienatedglitter: HE IS THE EATER OF FLESH Thebes: what was THAT caffienatedglitter: I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS Knock Out: Tommy Wiseau is clearly a dangerous entity. Starscreamapillar: I feel the pressing need to awaken Unicron, so he can shake off the Earth and ensure Wiseau's destruction. thenightetc: Er caffienatedglitter: how well did that work out for you last time Knock Out: There we go. Much better. Starscreamapillar: Just because it didn't work out for my alternates does not mean it may not work out for me. caffienatedglitter: oh right caffienatedglitter: alternate universes caffienatedglitter: still though caffienatedglitter: starscreams are universally jinxed thenightetc: This actually looks familiar.  Huh Starscreamapillar: I know. caffienatedglitter: Is this car porn Starscreamapillar: But I strive to escape whatever unpleasant fate is in store for me. caffienatedglitter: car porn is pretty chill caffienatedglitter: lol jk Smokescreen: woojit woojit no thenightetc: Nice and relaxing, except when they jerk the camera around. Smokescreen: dont watch the room Knock Out: I just needed to end the night on something other than the question of how many pounds of human flesh Tommy Wiseau can fit in his hollow abdomen. Knock Out: Too late. Smokescreen: .... wait did i miss thenightetc: Too late!  We saw the whole thing! caffienatedglitter: o hai smokescreen Smokescreen: ARGHHGHG Smokescreen: did you like it Smokescreen: Hey! caffienatedglitter: it's the room thenightetc: I don't think it's really something you "like" caffienatedglitter: exactly Smokescreen: Was it... Was it an experience? caffienatedglitter: technically caffienatedglitter: yes Starscreamapillar: It was an experience in madness. thenightetc: Everything is an experience. Smokescreen: it sure was a movie, right? caffienatedglitter: no caffienatedglitter: not particularly Starscreamapillar: It being a movie is debatable. thenightetc: In the broadest possible sense. Smokescreen: a film? caffienatedglitter: it was a venture intop insanity Knock Out: It was a whole lot of something. Thebes: it was filmed. I would hesitate to call it a film Smokescreen: someone sure recorded it on a camera! Thebes: technically Smokescreen: hey woojit have you ever been in a sauna before Knock Out: I think so? Smokescreen: How was it? caffienatedglitter: why are you asking? caffienatedglitter: sorry im curious\ Smokescreen: I've got one, and I wasn't sure what to do with it! caffienatedglitter: nvm Knock Out: You sit, you turn up the heat, you cycle special smoke meant to clean out your vents. There are other things I'd rather spend credits on at the bath houses, but it was nice enough. caffienatedglitter: wait whjat caffienatedglitter: lol jk Smokescreen: woojit woojit no thenightetc: Nice and relaxing, except when they jerk the camera around. Smokescreen: dont watch the room Knock Out: I just needed to end the night on something other than the question of how many pounds of human flesh Tommy Wiseau can fit in his hollow abdomen. Knock Out: Too late. Smokescreen: .... wait did i miss thenightetc: Too late!  We saw the whole thing! caffienatedglitter: o hai smokescreen Smokescreen: ARGHHGHG Smokescreen: did you like it Smokescreen: Hey! caffienatedglitter: it's the room thenightetc: I don't think it's really something you "like" caffienatedglitter: exactly Smokescreen: Was it... Was it an experience? caffienatedglitter: technically caffienatedglitter: yes Starscreamapillar: It was an experience in madness. thenightetc: Everything is an experience. Smokescreen: it sure was a movie, right? caffienatedglitter: no caffienatedglitter: not particularly Starscreamapillar: It being a movie is debatable. thenightetc: In the broadest possible sense. Smokescreen: a film? caffienatedglitter: it was a venture intop insanity Knock Out: It was a whole lot of something. Thebes: it was filmed. I would hesitate to call it a film Smokescreen: someone sure recorded it on a camera! Thebes: technically Smokescreen: hey woojit have you ever been in a sauna before Knock Out: I think so? Smokescreen: How was it? caffienatedglitter: why are you asking? caffienatedglitter: sorry im curious\ Smokescreen: I've got one, and I wasn't sure what to do with it! caffienatedglitter: nvm Knock Out: You sit, you turn up the heat, you cycle special smoke meant to clean out your vents. There are other things I'd rather spend credits on at the bath houses, but it was nice enough. caffienatedglitter: wait whjat caffienatedglitter: WHERE DID YOU GET A SAUNA Smokescreen: also if woojit wants to use this sauna I was gifted caffienatedglitter: WHERE DID YOU GET A GIANT SAUNA Smokescreen: I don't know! It was a gift! I'm kinda suspicious which is also why I'm offering Woojit a whirl in it! Knock Out: Suspicious bath house? I'm sold. thenightetc: Gosh, hope it's not cursed or something. caffienatedglitter: DUDE caffienatedglitter: THERE'S PROBABLY A CAMERA IN IT OR A BOMB Starscreamapillar: Why would a camera matter? Knock Out: Lucky camera. Smokescreen: Awesome! I'll promise to fix you up if it goes horribly wrong but hopefully it won't Smokescreen: wouldn't the lens get covered in steam? Knock Out: Excellent! caffienatedglitter: oh right caffienatedglitter: giant robots caffienatedglitter: nudity isnt a thing Starscreamapillar: Not really, no. caffienatedglitter: eh Smokescreen: woojit i found this anime also i've been meaning to watch and i need thosughts Knock Out: Yes? Smokescreen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVPnaHRgNb8 caffienatedglitter: ooooh knockout you should stream death parade thenightetc: Oh, I love that show!  In a way. caffienatedglitter: oh my god thenightetc: ^Initial D thenightetc: Haven't seen Death Parade caffienatedglitter: it's amazing Knock Out: Yes. Knock Out: Whatever this is, yes. caffienatedglitter: it's only a few episodes long, so Thebes: Initial D is awesome, caffienatedglitter: what is this thenightetc: But you have to not mind the animation. caffienatedglitter: HIS FACE Smokescreen: the humans look dead inside thenightetc: Yeah they do a lot of that thenightetc: You get used ot it Smokescreen: ... are they actually humans or just holo-matter avatars? Smokescreen: i've seen avatars with faces like that Knock Out: Who cares? Smokescreen: true caffienatedglitter: technically they are anime caffienatedglitter: not hoomans Smokescreen: am i anime caffienatedglitter: no you're american animaation Smokescreen: what Smokescreen: i'm not american Smokescreen: i'm praxian caffienatedglitter: your show isn't Smokescreen: WOOJIT HIGHER VOLUMNE Smokescreen: RAISE THE VOLUME thenightetc: And they're proud of that terrible animation, too, lots of closeups of misshapen dead-eyed faces Thebes: all the humans are in love with their cars and will go to absurd lengths to show it Smokescreen: thank you woojit Smokescreen: good Smokescreen: they should love their cars caffienatedglitter: um Starscreamapillar: Is it uncomfortable to squeal your tires like that? caffienatedglitter: smokescreen splease rephrase Smokescreen: it feels good to me! caffienatedglitter: unfortuinate implications Smokescreen: Uhhh- they should adore their cars? caffienatedglitter: smokescreen Smokescreen: what Smokescreen: I don't see the problem! Knock Out: It's not comfortable, but worth it for the sake of drifting. thenightetc: Oh believe me there is drifting in this show :) Thebes: and for wiping a smug smirk off someone's face? Thebes: because there's lots of that too Smokescreen: woojit woojit what if: we raced and played this kinda music at top volume to recreate this stuff caffienatedglitter: NO Smokescreen: but caffienatedglitter: BAD IDEA caffienatedglitter: RECREATING ANIME ONLY BRINGS PAIN Smokescreen: but Smokescreen: :( Knock Out: I'm not hearing a downside! Thebes: This anime is basically nothing but car appreciation and winning races in a way that's petty and satisfying Knock Out: Let's do it! thenightetc: It totally is. caffienatedglitter: knockout you have doomed yoursel Smokescreen: I probably won't be able to do it now, but sometime soon, we gotta! Knock Out: It's a date! thenightetc: Haha, have fun! caffienatedglitter: you fools you will invite them into our world, they will consume reality Smokescreen: I'll look for places with turns like these, too Knock Out: Perfect! Knock Out: That seems a marvelous place to pack it in for tonight. caffienatedglitter: lovely caffienatedglitter: goodnight Knock Out: Goodnight, everyone! Smokescreen: Sounds good. Night, everyone! Knock Out: Thank you for enduring this with me. caffienatedglitter: try not to turn the multiverse into a singularity thenightetc: This was good fun; thanks for the stream. :) Starscreamapillar: I am not sure I should thank you for exposing me to the horror of the Room. Starscreamapillar: Goodnight, and may I be able to atend again in the future. thenightetc: Goodnight! Knock Out: Here's hoping! Smokescreen: Hopefully, I can get here on time one day! Thebes: nighy!

[welcometothe-black-parade]

I accept your dare - answer all of them

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I’m not sure. 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

yeah sure, I’m 19 it wouldn’t be a big deal unless they were still in high school. christ this ask game has been going around for years i remember answering this when i was 153. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

last friday at a party with my friends4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do all the time and my friends yell at me to stop but im too polite i can’t help it5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

a lot of my friends are mad at me for talking to someone…6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

not yet today7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

answered!8. How often do you listen to music?

as often as i can9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans def10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?

…

(SORRY ILL PUT THE REST UNDER THE CUT LMAO

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

answered!12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

i’m not sure…13. What about ‘R’?

i feel like an awful person I don’t know the name of the last person i kissed!!14. Can you drive a stick shift?

can’t even drive 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

well yeah, mostly i just wanna know what theyre saying so i can shut down any false rumors. people have said some weird shit about me. 16. Are you going out of town soon?

yeah, I’m going back to my hometown for a few days, and then i’m going to alaska. i’m scared.17. When was the last time you cried?

yesterday or the day before, or maybe this morning idk finals are fucking me up and personal shit is happening at the exact same time18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah, in a platonic way.19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

no not at all, I have green eyes i’ve won the lottery imo 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

im not sure21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I’m not focusing enough on my work and its stressing me out so much22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

so cute!!23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

no but im rooming with her next semester24. What are you sitting on right now?

an uncomfortable wooden chair25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

yeah, my friends!26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

yep.27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

it was my buddy @cu-curu-gol at like 4am??? lmao28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no but i get fucktons of allergies and sinus stuff29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

i honestly forget probably gap or some shit its old30. Does anyone hate you?

probably31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I don’t, im straightedge but my roommate might32. Do you like watching scary movies?

yeah!! my fave is hush but i watched creep the other night with my friends and it was so good33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

nah34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

2011.35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah, it was a bad one.36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

I forget honestly37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

not at all38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

answered!39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

probably not.40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

no it was awful actually41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

don’t even have to think no42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

yeah, considering i go to a womans college lmao43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yeah. I don’t think I believe them.44. What’s the best part about school?

everything except finals i love my school 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

many many46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

no we just whisper and make snarky comments 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

all the time48. Were you single over the last summer?

yep.49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

not at all and im very happy for that, but my depression has come back a bit. 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

studying or writing my 3 essays51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

no, but i don’t know what to feel honestly.52. Are you nice to everyone?

I try my best to be.53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

yeah, too many times54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

yes of course, if you can’t last 6 months you don’t deserve to be in a relationship and you’re scum in my eyes tbh55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

sort of???56. Do you think you like someone?

unfortunately 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

i HAVE NO IDEA AND I FEEL SO BAD but she was super drunk and she initiated it so like im not a total shit i promise 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

girls def but gender is fake 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

many of them60. Do you hate anyone?

no, I don’t think so.61. How’s your heart?

not at it’s best. it’s a little fractured atm. 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yes. yes there is. 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

fucking unfortunately 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

I hope it’s no one, but probably my brother tbh65. Are your toenails painted pink?

no i havent painted my toes in months66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

i hope not!! but it might be, knowing me it almost definitely will be. 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

that makes it sound sadistic, I wouldn’t love it, i would be so sad if my boyfriend cried, probably enough to cry myself, but its definitely preferable to a boy who just bottles up all his emotions and only expresses his negative emotions through anger.68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

I dont think so but honestly i wouldn’t put it past myself69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

a guy named andrew at the bank lmao70. How do you look right now?

shit71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

yeah72. Can you commit to one person?

i want to73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

sort of?74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes.75. Did you wake up cranky?

yep76. Are you a jealous person?

i wish i wasnt but i can be so awfully jealous and i hate it about myself

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

i’ve never been in one but yes i believe they are. just because things end don’t mean it wasn’t worth it.78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not yet79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

my friends tonight hopefully80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

start writing my essays81. Last person you cried in front of?

um, I think it was my friend sarah?82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yes, a lot of people.83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

doubt it84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

just sitting around studying and talking a bit85. Are you over your past?

not quite. 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yeah 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

sort of88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

i haven’t really had a first true love yet89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

I honestly don’t know if i’d recognize her90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

yep…91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

hah no92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

yeah but we call him magoo93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nope94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

nope95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

yeah i guess96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

…yes…he is….97. Who do you have texts from?

none that are unanswered98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I would tell them to go for it, and try my best to support them but i would be really sad.99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeah, the oldest guy i kissed was 21 when i was 18100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

on facebook its a horse named eli101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

not yet102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

yeah, i hate and love the feeling.

[s3venpounds]

1-104

YA CHEEKY LITTLE CUNT love you tho because its always fun to do these asks even though everyone who reads will probs forget all these details in like the span of a week.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

wanna go again?

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

nothing anymore

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

depends on what drugs, the severity of the side effects, the cost of said drugs, and how addicted they are to it. like if its weed sure go ahead long as it isn’t around me not a big fan of the smell. crystal meth however i would probably be turned off or just attempt to get them off it. over the counter drugs though is fine too.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yep

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes. horribly messed up. still think about it tbh

7. What does your last received text say? “ well i think you can just wax with whatever length but it wont be able to cling to your hair well”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? lost count too busy being happy at the time

9. Where was your last kiss at? a bus stop

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? yesterday

11. What do you drink in the morning? nothing. i dont wake up in the morning

12. Where did you sleep last night? my couch because its fucking comfier than my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? most def. wouldn’t have it any other way though. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? yeah

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

yeah, the fact we haven’t talked in months, and because i’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me lol

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? rainy, free shower

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? dont got a middle name so i guess yes?

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? boxing shorts 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? ahahaha no.

20. Does anyone like you? trust me, if i knew i would do something about it

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? its rude to say but i don’t remember but from what i do remember its a no

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? not gay specifically at least from what i’ve been told by said person

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? 3 people specifically. not gonna name them

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? multiple times, talked to tattoo artists, people who had multiple tattoos, people who are first timers so yeah i want one maybe 5

25. In the past week have you cried? yeah anime hurts the feels bro

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?does pictures on tumblr count? if yes, a shiba inu, if no, golden retriever

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of the shower, i feel like im gonna slip and fall if i stay in there too long

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? yeah he doesn’t use lip balm often so it was kinda rough

29. Do you think you’re old? yeah

30. Do you like text messaging? most def. i like texting more than talking since i can think about my words and play it off as just “ yeah i was busy” also i find myself a better conversationalist on texts than in person

31. What type of day are you having? a shitty one but i showered so im feeling refreshed at least

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? nope, i have thought about getting spider bites on my lower lip but i dont think i can pull it off

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold weather, i hate bugs and indoor volleyball is nice

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?yeah

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? a relationship. flings hurt afterwards and to me theres no feelings behind it so youre left feeling empty

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? i wanna say simple but everyone knows everyones complicated. if someones simple that just means theyre not letting off everything at the get go

37. What song are you listening to? lie to me george nozuka

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? of course i do. does it mean i wont make the same mistake? nope. it just means i’ll take steps to preventing it from happening again. if it happens again then ill keep trying. all you can do when you fuck up is to just keep trying to prevent it from happening again. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? i’d like to think so40. What made you start liking the person you like now?vibrant personality that draws you in. playful demeanor. likes geeky things like i do. has deep thoughts that make me want to ponder existence with them. likes physical intimacy. and the first thought when i saw her was that i wanted to protect her, care for her, and guide her in life if ever she needs help. 41. When did you last receive a text message? 8:43 am monday42. What is wrong with you right now? im not independent? i rely on friends and other stuff to grant me happiness when really the only source of happiness i can rely on if to draw it from myself. friends help but they can’t be the only source. i have trouble moving on from past issues, constantly weighed down by past decisions and mistakes when i should have passed it a long time ago.43. How well do you know the last female you texted? not very well however she knows me very well since i vent to her lol44. Does anyone disgust you? yeah the same 3 people i mentioned that i cannot stand.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? most likely yeah46. Are you in a good mood right now? nope. neutral if anything47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?me mother before she left for a bus shuttle to fort mac48. What color shirt are you wearing? nude. no plans today, or guests so that means no pants, no shirt and occasionally if im feeling happy enough, no underwear either49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? not recently. i have a feeling that i’ve given off the vibe to all my friends that they have to tip toe around me about a lot of topics else they’ll make me sad. i’d rather a splash of cold water in the face than some shitty lie50. Anyone you’re giving up on? myself mostly.51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? i never hate the people i used to date. i hate the decisions i made that lead to breaking up. i tend to think things are never someone else’s fault but more of mine. even if by some weird chance it wasn’t i would twist it so it was my fault. its just easier for everyone that way if people have a scapegoat.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? yeah.53. Do you like rain? i love it. sometimes on rare occasions i can almost feel the shitty person inside me just kinda slide off my skin and drip off the tips of my fingers and i feel … complete? is the best way i can put it54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? nope. party all you like, im just not too keen on drinking very often or partying very often. although when i do party ill party hard.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? who hasnt?56. Do you like to cuddle? love it. spooning, arm on shoulder, hugging from behind, them sitting on your lap, them holding you from behind. my skin feels electric when the person i love has their skin against mine.57. Are you shy? i’d like to say im not58. Do you get along with girls? i’d like to say i do59. Have you dated the person you texted last? not going to lie hahah i considered it at some point60. What do you carry with you at all times? phone, wallet , keys.61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yeah most likely. the economy sucks bro.62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? yeah assuming i dont fuck up lol63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?nope. sadly.64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? DAMN STRAIGHT.  shit would be like a good luck charm65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? my niece tried to say duck and instead said fuck

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? probably going to get some questionable looks from this but 16, 24, 21

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? pay for a pro, i am NOT an artistic person.   68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    zebra. black and white. leopard print makes me think a white 40 something year old with plastic surgery, hair thats half a meter tall and nails that are longer than most men’s penises talking with a southern belle accent that tries to hit on pool boys69. Do you have any stickers on your car? none70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? i hate country and im not a fan of lil wayne anymore so i guess lil wayne if i absolutely have to.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    android 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    couple days ago?73. Do you like diet soda?    hate it. feels fake to me74. What color are the walls in your room?    boring beige75. Are you 16 or older?    yes.76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    heard of it, seen gifs, dont plan on watching it77. Do you have a job?    as of now yeah.  78. What are your initials?    SM79. Did you ever have braces?  nope.  i had retainers but i kept breaking them so my parents were like okay thats enough, its too expensive to replace them lol80. Are you from the south?  im about as north as you can get without living in igloos

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    “day barely started and 4 things putting me in a shitty mood. looks liek today is gonna be loooooooooong”82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    i wish.83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    mother. although im not on good terms with either of them. my mother just has more patience to deal with me84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?   i did pom squad which was a pretty shitty version of cheerleading i guess. 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? beauty and the beast i thoroughly enjoyed it =]    86. Do you smoke?  weed or cigarettes? either one ive stopped both. not worth it, plus i dislike smelling gross.87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    i’ve worn heels before but not for a prolonged period of time but they felt nice so i’d say hells. flip flops keep making annoying sounds and it makes me grind my teeth thinking about it88. Is your phone touch screen?    yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    straight. i’d love it to be a bit curly. i even permed my hair last year apparently it looked good says some friends of mine.90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    i snuck out last night lol. the family gave up on stopping me.91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    pool. rivers and lakes have the possibility of germs, leeches or other shit. its a hassle to have to take extra precautions92. Have you ever made out in a car?    yep.93. …Had sex in a car?    almost.94. Are you single or in a relationship?   single. 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    playing overwatch with my friend reo.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    AW COME THE FUCK ON. the last relationship questions weren’t enough to jab a knife in my chest but this too? fuck. whatever. it was at capital ex or k- days whatever the fuck you wanna call it. i had fun. the fireworks wasn’t the only thing that sparked. fuck. instant bad mood.97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah its really good. i can take pictures of my friends and even see the condition of their pores and shit its pretty nice.   98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    nope. i’d like to try it though99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    not yet.100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  yeah. i should really just delete my facebook.  101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?  nope.  102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    Die young103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    nope.104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? sure why not. i’d probs wear assless chaps too if i had a nice ass

[stopsubstanceabuse1-blog]

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Cease and Desist to Exist by manen_lyset

I’ve known Krista Wagner since middle school. We quickly became friends, then best friends, and eventually, best friends FOR LIFE. We take that title really seriously. She and I have spoken literally every day since the day we met. If we don’t have classes together, we’ll text all day when the teachers aren’t looking. We’ve always been inseparable. Well, except for that two-week period where we had a fight because she totally tried to flirt with my brother, but that’s neither here nor there. Aside from that little scuffle, we talk all the time. I haven’t heard from Krista in three days. Now, you could say that’s probably because we’re both off on summer break, but I know better. She wouldn’t go this long without texting me. This is all because of that stupid letter she got last week. We didn’t take it seriously, but now I’m really starting to regret it, because I think it’s too late. I don’t think Krista is around anymore, and I’m terrified of what might have happened to her.

I’d just gotten home from the beach when I heard my phone going off. I checked it, and saw a new text message from Krista.

Krista: OMG WTF, I think I’m being sued.

Stacey: LOL wut?

Krista: Im not kiddng. Can I come over?

Stacey: Sure

Krista: B there in 10

I put the phone back in my pocket and started making myself a snack while I waited for Krista. It wasn’t long before she texted me saying she was coming up the driveway. I opened the door to let her in. She was holding an envelope in her hands, and looked like she’d just gotten told we had a midterm she hadn’t studied for.

“What’s up?” I asked.

Krista held the envelope to me. “Do you think this is because of the video I posted last week?”

“Which one?” I asked, as I pulled the paper out of the already torn envelope.

“Duh! The music video! I told you I was going to get in trouble! My parents cannot find out about this or they’ll kill me!” She bit her lip and started pacing around.

I shrugged. “I don’t think they can, like, sue you for that. They’d just remove your video.”

Krista let out an impatient groan. “Just read it. Tell me if you think it’s serious.”

I nodded. “I’m sure it’s nothing,” I said, as I unfolded the letter.

It read:

*FILE #: 1099-0630-5986 * August 5th, 2017 Krista Wagner 245 Maple Street Glens Falls, NY 12801

OBJECT: NOTICE OF COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT

Dear [Krista Wagner],

You are hereby given notice that [Krista Wagner] has breached Article 13.C of the Copyright Act of 2017. On behalf of the United States Copyright Protection Agency, we ask that you immediately cease and desist all use of the copyrighted materials, by yourself and by third parties.

If we do not receive an adequate response within 10 days of sending this letter, we regret to inform you that actions will be taken to recover damages without further notice to you.

Sincerely,

Operator 506-W13

The letter looked official: it was on this thick, fancy paper with an embossed logo at the top. I’m not sure if anyone here has seen it before, but the logo has like an eagle holding earth in its talons, with the United States colored with our stars and stripes. Does that sound familiar? And on the bottom of the letter, there was a phone number and I think a fax number, too. I couldn’t find an address or a website anywhere.

“I take that back,” I said, “this looks real.”

That was not the answer Krista wanted to hear. She slapped her hands on her cheeks and, like, MEGA-cringed.

“Why are you so worried? It’s probably nothing. Just call them and ask what video they want you to delete. No biggie,” I said, trying to reassure her.

Krista stared at her feet. She wasn’t usually the shy one.

“You do it! I’m too nervous. I don’t know what to say!” she replied.

Ok, so like, normally I’d just tell her to woman up and whatever, right? But last week, I kinda begged her to go buy tampons for me because I was too embarrassed because turns out the cashier’s this really cute guy in my class. I kinda owed it to her.

“Okay,” I said.

I picked up the phone, dialed the number, and waited. I kinda hoped the office would be closed so I could get out of this, but no such luck. I got an automated menu.

“United States Copyright Protection Agency, please input your 12-digit file number now, followed by the pound key.”

“What the fuck is a pound key?” I mumbled.

“Hashtag,” answered Krista.

I scanned her letter quickly, finding her file number at the top. I typed it in and hit hashtag. Another automated message played.

“Thank you, please hold for our next available agent.”

Dull, Beethoven-like music started playing. No freaking way was I going to suffer through that alone. I hit the speaker button and tossed the phone on the table. Krista sat down on the couch next to me and stared at it nervously. The music was kind of soothing, but since it started repeating itself every freaking minute, it got on my nerves real quick.

I snorted. “This sounds just like the music from my doctor’s office. Bet they stole it from there.”

There was a crackling noise on the line, then a woman’s voice’s trickled through the speaker. “We at the United States Copyright Protection Agency pride ourselves in following the letter of the law. I would advise against making such serious allegations.”

My jaw dropped. How long had she been listening in on us?

“Sorry,” I said.

She answered, “It’s alright. What can I do for you today?”

“I-I uhm. I got a letter,” said Krista.

“Yes ‘mam, I can see here that your file number is … 1099-0630-5986,” replied the operator. We could hear her typing something on the other side. “Ah, yes. It appears as though you’ve received a cease and desist letter. I’m afraid Krista Wagner is an infringement of Krista Wagner’s copyright.”

I looked at Krista, then at the phone. “Uh … yeah, okay. But what exactly did she infringe on?”

“Krista Wagner,” replied the operator.

Krista looked at me, and I looked at her. She made a tipping motion with her hands, implying that the operator must have been a little drunk.

“Yeah, we know who did something wrong. We’re asking what she did wrong.” I asked.

“I already told you, ma’am. It says here that the copyrighted material is Krista Wagner,” she answered in a monotone voice.

“What the heck does that even mean?” I replied.

Krista continued, “You mean one of my videos? I’m sorry I stole the music! Can I just take it down?”

The operator paused. We could hear her typing again. “I’m sorry, we’re not aware of copyright infringement on any videos,” she said.

I replied, “Then we’re okay, right? We didn’t break any laws.”

“No. Krista Wagner is infringing on Krista Wagner’s copyright,” said the operator.

I was really confused. “What’s she infringing on?”

The operator replied, “Krista Wagner is infringing on Krista Wagner, as in, the person. We already have another Krista Wagner on file. I’m afraid by continuing to exist, Krista Wagner infringes on her copyright,” she explained.

Krista and I stared at one another in disbelief.

“Are you stupid or something? You can’t copyright a name. A lot of people have the same names, what the fuck are you smoking?” I asked.

“I’m afraid it’s beyond my control. Unless she’s replaced within the next 2 days, she will be forcefully removed.”

I felt a shiver run down my spine at the oddly rehearsed way she spoke, and quickly hit the ‘End Call’ button. Obviously, this had to be a prank. Maybe some weirdo hazing ritual.

“It’s probably just Phillipe and his sis. Doesn’t his dad own a print shop or something? Probably just wanted to screw with you,” I reassured.

Krista looked a bit worried, but forced a smile. “Yeah.”

She still looked kinda rattled, so I invited her to sleep over, but she refused. We talked for a bit and I did my best to try and calm her down. She went home, I had supper and went online for the rest of the night.

That was the last time I saw Krista, but not the last time I heard from her.

We texted the next couple of days and everything seemed fine. Then, three nights ago, she texted me something really freaking weird in the middle of the night.

Krista: U awaek?

I hadn’t been until she texted me.

Stacey: Whats up?

Krista: Im scared omfg.

Krista: Theres someone out my window.

Stacey: A perv?

Kristra: No.

Kristra: Hes in a suit.

Stacey: LOL A fashion perv?

Kristra: Omg theres 3 now

Stacey: ?

Kristra: Theres a van too

Kristra: Im rly scared

Kristra: Theyre getting closer

Stacey: Call ur parents.

Krista: Theyre not home

Stacey: Call the cops

Kristra: OMG theyre banging on the window

Stacey: Call. The. Cops.

I could see she was typing a message, but then the icon disappeared. After two minutes, she still hadn’t replied. I hoped she’d followed my advice and was on the phone with 911. I waited just a little while longer before I tried to call her.

The number you have dialed is currently out of service.

I sat in my bed, alternating between texting and trying to call her, but all my texts came out undeliverable and none of the phone calls got through. There was no way my parents were going to drive my ass down there in the middle of the night, so I eventually changed gears and just tried to, like, convince myself she was pranking me now.

The first thing I did the next morning was try to call her again, but it didn’t work. I went online and tried to message her, but her profile was gone. I know you can, like, kind of lowkey delete it temporarily, so if she was pranking me, I figured that’s what she did. I was sure it wasn’t totally gone. No way she’d delete all her pics and stuff.

I waited a few hours hoping she’d finally message me, but nothing. It’s weird, I kept getting these waves of worry, then I’d convince myself it was fine, then I’d get worried again. I finally just decided I’d go to her house. I got on the bus and stopped on her street. I walked along the sidewalk I’d walked down a bunch of times with her. I slowed when I reached 243. She lived at 245.

245 was gone.

245 Maple Street, for all intents and purposes, no longer existed. I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. I’d been to her house many times before and knew the neighborhood well, but it was … different. The street literally stopped at 243, and the spaces between the homes seemed a tad bit wider, as though to make up for the now missing house. Really, looking at it, you wouldn’t think there was room for another house on the street, but I swear that’s where she lived. I SWEAR I’ve been to that house.

It was so freaking surreal. There’s no way a house can just vanish like that! I started texting all our friends asking if anyone had seen Krista. No one had any idea who I was talking about. Then I noticed our text log was gone. Her number was gone from my phone.

I thought I was going nuts.

I went home and asked my parents, “Do you guys remember Krista?”

Mum couldn’t be bothered to look up from her tablet. “Who, dear?”

“You’ve got to be kidding. Krista! She literally comes here all the time,” I answered desperately.

Dad shrugged. “Honey, you shouldn’t sneak people in here.”

I slammed my palms on the table, “She ate with us last Thursday!”

Mum looked up, leered at me, and then looked down again. “Young lady, that’s no way to talk to your parents!”

I threw my hands in the air, grunted, and rolled my eyes. “Ugh, never mind!”

I stomped up to my room. I didn’t know whether to be frustrated or scared. I actually wondered for a second if, y’know, she was just a figment of my imagination. I’d legit still think I’m crazy if I didn’t find a Polaroid of us in my room. I’m looking at it right now. She was real. She’s always been real.

I spent the next few days combing through everything I own trying to find any trace of Krista, but that Polaroid is all I could find. She’s gone. It’s like she never existed.

And if all this wasn’t bad enough, mom asked me to get the mail earlier. My blood ran cold when I saw the envelope with my name on it. It had the logo of an eagle holding planet earth in its talons. I don’t need to open it to know what it says, and I am freaking terrified.