#THEY don't care about their relationship so a) why should i and b) why are they trying to convince me they do
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seismologically-silly · 2 years ago
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mixed feelings about what snw does with vulcans. i like seeing more of the culture and it's not bad, but it's always about spock's romantic entanglements and that's an aspect of the show i do not care about
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sometinybees · 2 years ago
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The last of us is such a good example of not needing a relationship to be romantic for it to be utterly heartwrenching and captivating. I know we always wanna make the characters kiss (not these two but you get what I mean) but like Ellie and Joel obviously show that they don't need to be romantic for a relationship to gut punch you and make you go insane. I will never fault someone for shipping god knows I do it all the time, but I dearly wish for more platonic relationships like this to be treated with such care and importance by fandom.
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pierregazly · 10 months ago
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but mama, i love him ꨄ oscar piastri smau
oscar piastri x leclerc!reader
the one where oscar's girlfriend has been soft launching their relationship for ages. and he's okay with it, especially if it means he can keep hiding in plain sight from her three overprotective brothers.
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ynleclerc
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tagged charles_leclerc
liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and others
ynleclerc omg omg omg... charles leclerc signed my hat? should i add it to the shrine? give them something to sacrifice?
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username any non-f1 fan would automatically assume ynleclerc is a crazy fan page for charles
username or a charles leclerc hate page... all she does it make fun of her brothers here
username she's offering her signed hat for the tifosi to sacrifice for a CL16 win??? that seems like pure love all around
arthur_leclerc i also signed your hat?
ynleclerc i also do not care? will a hat signed by you get me millions if i sell it for sacrificial purposes?
charles_leclerc what's next? my personal belongings?
ynleclerc is that an offer? if so, oui. i will take what i think will make me the most money next time i'm there, merci <3
scuderiaferrari if it gets us a 1-2 finish, sacrifice everything ynleclerc... please 🙏
username being a Ferrari fan is so satisfying when you remember ynleclerc is an automatic inclusion in everything and anything charles does
username the things i would do to have her as a McLaren fan... she's too beautiful for Ferrari 😭
oscarpiastri a piastri hat will get you good money in straya btw
username oscar??
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oscarpiastri
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liked by logansargeant, landonorris, mclaren, and others
oscarpiastri 'stop hitting me with the ball on purpose you jerk' was said more times than it should've been, by someone who really just sucks at tennis. had an awesome week back home, time to get back to it 💪
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logansargeant no wonder you're so worried about getting run over
username the coordinating outfits?? i'm gonna scream, who is she!!!
username what does logan know, tell us your secrets girl logansargeant
username oscar is gonna soft launch this relationship until the end of time. show us her face, you coward!!
ynleclerc did you pay her for all the bruises that tennis ball left?? poor girl
oscarpiastri it's not my fault she's a terrible tennis player, we all know i've offered to pay for a trainer
landonorris so this is why you couldn't come to bali with me 🤨
username lando really said i'm the third wheel??
username to be fair i'd probably pick oscar's girlfriend over lando for a week away too
username girly you don't even know who she is!!! she could be the devil
username i wanna be included in oscar's post week home photo dump :(
ynleclerc has posted a story
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, pascale.leclerc.355, and others
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oscarpiastri you can call me pookie whenever you want if you're gonna post things like this
ynleclerc i'd call you pookie with or without your permission, mon amour
charles_leclerc who is this
charles_leclerc why won't you tell us who you're dating
charles_leclerc we won't hurt him
charles_leclerc answer my texts
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ynleclerc
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liked by oscarpiastri, pascale.leclerc.355, arthur_leclerc, and others
ynleclerc get you a man who can do both, luckiest woman in the world whenever you're around. mon amour 🤍
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username people involved in formula 1 and their obsession with soft launching everything NEEDS to be studied
username at least she posts her boyfriend and he isn't just a small figure in the background of every post (charles this is a direct hate comment)
arthur_leclerc this would have been very lovely if it weren't for the last photo
liked by charles_leclerc and lorenzotl
ynleclerc suppose it's a good thing you could easily ignore it. cheers :)
pascale.leclerc.355 trés belle, ma fille 💗
charles_leclerc maman?
username could you IMAGINE if ynleclerc told pascale but obviously hasn't told her brothers? i can FEEL the outrage
username starting to think this may be a driver, ynleclerc is at every race weekend and ALWAYS makes a post with her mystery man at some point during the week after...
username okay ms sleuth (i think it's lando)
username i'm like 65% sure it's oscar, and 35% positive it's someone that looks a lot like oscar
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ynleclerc
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tagged oscarpiastri
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris, and others
ynleclerc someone exposed us on twitter, so i had to expose us on instagram 😮‍💨
comments on this post have been limited
oscarpiastri love you <3
oscarpiastri i will love you even when a ferrari has run me over, of course.
arthur_leclerc is this your way of telling me i was right, without texting me back?
charles_leclerc this must be a joke, non?
pascale.leclerc.355 so very excited to finally be able to invite the both of you for dinner. trés belle 🤍
charles_leclerc maman, you knew?
ynleclerc oscar and i will see you for sunday dinner, maman! <3
tresbelleleclercspam
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ynleclerc live feed of oscar running away from charles in the paddock when he said he 'just wanted to talk, mate'
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charles_leclerc i truly just wanted to talk about the race
charles_leclerc i did not have a speech planned, non
arthur_leclerc i did have a speech planned
lorenzotl i just wanted to welcome him to the family, as a good big brother should
oscarpiastri my apple watch warned me of an overactive heart rate 5 times today. why did you do this to me. why couldn't you have three sisters???
ynleclerc so very sorry, in our next life i'll try to make sure you only have to worry about sisters and not three overprotective brothers
oscarpiastri as long as i get to spend every lifetime with you <3
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i actually got a request for something like this ages ago, and finally got around to finishing it. i so hope you all loved it as much as i loved writing it. thank you for all the support!!
i'm not currently taking requests, but if anyone has lil suggestions or prompts please feel free to send them.
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miyukisu · 5 months ago
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NSFW Alphabet | Sae Itoshi .ᐟ
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❤︎ | Get to know Sae Itoshi from A to Z~ ╰ feat. sae itoshi x afab! reader
minors do not interact
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[A] Aftercare Decent. Bare minimum. Not over the top. At the very least he would wipe you down and clean you up without expecting you to move an inch. He'll even guide you to the bathroom if you plan to shower together (there are times when he carries you, but that's reserved for days when he REALLY goes all out on you). You have to specifically request for things if you want him to do it. Otherwise, that's all you're getting.
[B] Body Part Sae's canonically into ass. But it's important to note that he cares more about shape rather than size. He'll subtly ogle at your ass even in broad daylight, especially if you're wearing tight clothes that showcase it. On himself, however, he's aware of how nice his thighs look. Sometimes he'll pass by a full-length body mirror in just his boxers and he'll stand there for a minute to admire his legs. Partially, this is why he enjoys working out his legs.
[C] Cum Cums a lot, but not thick. It's more on the translucent side. He maintains a healthy diet so you can expect the taste to be bearable. Of course, he likes to release on your ass, but sometimes it gets on to your back as well. It's a sight he never gets tired of.
[D] Dirty Secret Even with his partner, he would hate to admit that he likes taking nude pictures of himself. It's not like he's going to send them out or that he gets off to it; he's no narcissist. But there's just something inexplicable about doing it. He'll snap a few, look at them, then delete them. He isn't sure why. But if you're into receiving nudes, he'll gladly comply (that is, if you've been together long enough).
[E] Experience Despite his good looks, it's surprising to know that he hasn't done it with a lot of people. He only does it with someone he's in a relationship with and even that rarely happens. He's a busy person and it takes longer for him to develop trust for anyone compared to the normal person. But you could say that he's a natural. He can make you cum at least a couple of times through instinct alone.
[F] Favorite Position He has a hard time picking between plain ol' doggy and reverse cowgirl. See any similarities? Yeah, both positions just give him a nice view of your behind. It allows him to grope, squeeze, and slap it any time he wants. He particularly likes watching it jiggle at every hard thrust that he does. Although, he might prefer doggy a little more as he can have most of the control in that position. But it's trivial to pick. He'll just have you in both positions each time you decide to do it anyway.
[G] Goofy The man doesn't smile, let alone laugh, during sex. It's not that he's not enjoying it, but he doesn't find the act to be humorous at all. He finds it weird to call it "fun". He'd rather describe it as passionate and intense which is why he's serious. However, there are VERY rare moments when he cracks a small smile, but it only happens in highly emotional moments (like your first time having sex as a married couple, for example).
[H] Hair He trims it, but not for sexual purposes. He's an extremely hygienic man, so he does it out of self-care. In reality, he doesn't care too much about what their partner thinks of his hair. If they like it; then great. If they don't; they can deal with it. Besides, he doesn't care about his partner's hair. He'll take whatever's waiting for him down there. He'll never go fully bald because he finds it odd. He'll trim it a bit regularly and that's about it.
[I] Intimacy A very passionate lover; that's for sure. As I've mentioned, he finds the act to be something serious. He'll only do it with you out of love and care. So even if he doesn't outwardly seem like a romantic person in bed, he definitely is. He likes to keep it fair in the bedroom. So if he's enjoying, you should be enjoying it just as much as he is. Although, he doesn't speak much, but he'll call you "Amor" sometimes. Sae will whisper that name in your ear gently.
[J] Jack Off As you might expect, he doesn't do it a lot. For one, he's too busy doing or thinking about something else. It's something that he can only think about doing when he's lying in bed at night with a blank mind. Sae mostly does it out of frustration—if he wants to release pent up emotions without lashing out on someone else. He's quick and likes to get the job done as fast as he can. Can you blame him? It relaxes him after all. Though, he isn't immune to temptation either. If you send him jack off material, he'll gladly use it.
[K] Kink Sae discovered it a bit late, but he likes brat taming. He doesn't even know that it's a thing. He just knows that he likes putting disobedient girls in their places. He'll act annoyed or pissed off at your insolence, but deep down, he's craving that you do it more. Something about feeling that his authority is being challenged, excites him. Of course, it adds some spice to your bedroom activities. But maybe it has to do with him proving to you over and over again that he's the one in control—he's the one holding the reigns. He especially loves it when you eventually become obedient in the end. But keep being a tease; he eats it up.
[L] Location Anywhere as long as it's inside the house/apartment/hotel. He likes the privacy and comfort that those places offer. He can't be bothered to think about the possibility of getting caught. As thrilling as it might be, he has a reputation to uphold. The impending PR work is not worth the orgasm, at least for him. He also would hate to do it in a place that would force you into a weird position. At least at home there's a bed, a couch, a chair, or a counter for you to use. Again, he's a hygienic guy, so the dirty outdoors is a huge no for him.
[M] Motivation First of all, he has to be either extremely relaxed or incredibly frustrated—there is no in between. But once either condition is met, it's not that hard to get him in the mood. In fact, he likes to hear how eager you are. Simply asking him if he wants to do it would be more than enough. Even better if you express how much you've been needing him throughout the day or week. There are times when he initiates things, but that usually happens when you're already touching each other (like while cuddling). You'll know because he'll grind his hard on against you or deliberately take your hand and place it there.
[N] No Anything extreme is off the table for him. In many ways, he's quite vanilla. The farthest he'll go would be a little bit of bondage and usage of toys. But if there's extreme pain, blood, piss, and things beyond that involved—consider him out.
[O] Oral Again, he likes to keep things pretty equal, so likes both giving and receiving. Although, you might notice that he'll go at your pussy first before letting you suck him off. It gets him into the momentum apparently. Plus, most of the time, he already gets you to cum from his tongue alone. You swear that he gets better each time he does it. You can never last long since he likes to suck on the clit, oop. When you suck him off, he'll tangle his fingers in your hair and guide you lightly. He lets you do your thing, pretty much. The only exception is when he's really stressed out—expect him to tug at your hair a little harder then.
[P] Pace He usually likes it slow and sensual. Sex is the only time he feels relaxed and in control of his time. Why would he want to rush it? The atmosphere also feels different for him when he goes slow. Furthermore, Sae uses this as a way to observe you properly—which spots to hit, which points to stimulate at the same time, and so on. It gets him off knowing that he can get better and better at providing pleasure. Consider it as part of his ego as well. He might take it slow, but there are definitely moments when he pounds you hard and steady. The type of pounding that needs you to hold on for dear life or else you'll fall.
[Q] Quickie Not really a fan of it. But it's not like he would never do it. Sae will only resort to quickies when absolutely necessary. Those kinds of situations are mostly when both of your schedules are packed and there is literally not enough time to have proper sex. That or when both of you feel incredibly frustrated and nothing else will satiate you but each other. Another reason why he doesn't do this as much is that it leaves him wanting more. He hates feeling like a needy idiot, so he avoids quickies as much as he can.
[R] Risk He'll try anything not-so-extreme at least once, especially if you ask him nicely. Though he has shown interest in experimenting in bondage a bit, more specifically, in shibari. It's a bit intricate and it might hurt you a bit if not done right, but if you're willing to share that risk with him—he's game. From the Sae perspective, I'd say a risky thing that he does is whispering things in your ear he wouldn't normally say. He just likes to keep you on your toes and the way you clench down on him is just way too good. Besides, you'll most likely forget he said it anyway because he fucks you dumb most of the time.
[S] Stamina His endurance and stamina in general are certainly well-trained, but he is just a man. His dick needs to recuperate at its own pace. Maybe he can last two rounds for the most part, but there are days when he can only last for one. But it's not much of an issue. In that one round, he can last for so long. He can take advantage of that time and make you cum over and over again. Besides, even if you've milked him for the time being, he can still go at it with his mouth and fingers. You'll never catch him breathless after a few measly minutes.
[T] Toys He doesn't own any. He feels silly spending money on such things and using it on himself. But if it's for you; he'll gladly spend as much as he needs. He just doesn't see the appeal of using it on himself. Pocket pussies? Cock rings? Seems a bit ridiculous to him. But if you happen to own a vibe or two, he'll definitely use it. There's no harm in heightening your pleasure anyway. He's also chill with a bit of bondage rope and handcuffs. He's a bit iffy about using dildos though. Maybe it's because of his pride, but what's the use of it when you can have his dick instead?
[U] Unfair He's a tease without even trying. The snarky remarks that he makes comes out of his mouth naturally. "Oh, you're cumming again? You're too easy," and he'll say it with a straight face. Sometimes when you do ask him to fuck you faster, he'll ignore you on purpose. The man wants to hear you beg so nicely for him after being such a brat earlier. Although, he's surprisingly less of a tease as you'd expect.
[V] Volume Mostly grunts and groans. He claims that you will never hear him whimper, so of course, you make it your life's purpose to get him to whimper. It has yet to happen. And he does find it amusing that you think that you can make THE Sae Itoshi whimper like a bitch. Aside from that, the sounds he makes aren't so loud. He makes sure the grunts near your ear, containing it there. BUT, a little quirk of his is that he lets out a long sigh once he cums. It just feels so relieving that he can't help it anymore.
[W] Wild Card He thinks he'd bust right away sometimes whenever you stare up at him while you suck him off. Seeing you servicing him so eagerly while on your knees does things to his brain. It makes his ego swell like insane. "You're such a good girl, amor. You love me alot, don't you?" He'll wipe away the tears that threaten to fall because your jaw's so stretched out. Sae knows you're struggling a bit, but hang on for now and he'll reward you plenty afterwards.
[X] X-ray Not that girthy, but loooooong. He has quite a pretty dick, especially since he keeps it neat down there as well. It doesn't curve that much, but it is quite veiny. You can see the veins because of his pale complexion. There's one particularly thick vein that feels the best when rubbing against your walls. He's also cut, so you know that he has a light pink tip. Definitely a shower.
[Y] Yearning He's definitely more inclined to have sex than jacking off. That's because he'll actually make time for it. Sae will find ways to clear up his schedule or at least have more time with you—to have sex and to do things other than sex, of course. It's an odd, but helpful, trait of his that he can easily match the libido of his partner. Unless if his partner has an insanely high libido, then you'd probably have to find even ground. But again, it's not hard to get him into the mood. So if you initiate or ask him, more often than not—he'll get down and dirty with you in a heartbeat.
[Z] Zzz He doesn't fall asleep right away because, A) he needs to clean up and take care of you, and B) he just isn't tired enough. Don't get him wrong—good pussy pushes him to the edge, but being well-trained just helps him to not pass out immediately after busting. However, he will fall asleep right away once you're all cleaned up and the bed (which presumably got drenched) is all tidied up. Once you're sleeping soundly in his arms, he'll let himself be consumed by slumber as well.
❤︎ Overall: Sae's quite a good lover in that he puts effort and meaning into sex and that he's constantly improving. He genuinely cares about making it an activity both of you enjoy. 10/10 experience.
©kzyluvr do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms
╰ author's note Actually a bit terrified that I might have butchered Sae Itoshi in this one
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ms-demeanor · 10 months ago
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You posted about adhd and I was hoping to follow up to clarify something. I’ve explained to my partner a million times about how the borderline-hoarding mess of his space is very mentally draining to me, and he understands but we’ve both essentially accepted he won’t clean his mess because he can’t because of his adhd. You’re saying he’s actually being a shit head?
This isn't necessarily an issue of him being a shithead, but it also isn't a sustainable situation. It's not good for you and there's a level of clutter that's probably not good for him either.
Large bastard is a lot more clutter-y than I am. The solution we've come to is trying to keep our messes at least isolated from one another; he can have his messes and I can have mine, but he can have those messes in his spaces, not all over the place. Sometimes those messes migrate, and that's when it's important for him to make the effort to rein them in rather than trying and failing to make a daily effort to keep our entire shared space tidy.
I think when you say "we've both essentially accepted he won't clean his mess" what I'm hearing is resignation; you're not happy about this but you don't know what to do so you've thrown up your hands and he feels helpless and unsure of what to do to improve the situation. This is the kind of "it's fine" that isn't really fine.
I think it would be worthwhile for you to each separately think about the mess and talk about it together. Are there areas that YOU *need* to have not-messy? Both for utility and your mental health? Are there areas where you can tolerate more mess than otherwise? Are there areas that are going to be harder for him to keep the mess out of than others? Are there things he doesn't *know* about cleaning up the mess?
I'm obviously a big "communication communication communication" person so I'm going to recommend a lot of talking about stuff, which is probably going to mean a lot of thinking about and interrogating stuff. I'm going to say "talk to him about why the mess bothers you" which means you also have to really articulate to yourself why the mess bothers you (for instance I'm not actually *bothered* by a messy kitchen, but I know it's going to reflect badly on us - and me specifically b/c of presumed gender roles - if someone pops by and the kitchen is a disaster, AND a messy kitchen is going to be harder to use). Genuinely, sometimes knowing *why* something is a problem might make it easier for someone with ADHD to do something. And it's not that he doesn't care that it upsets you, it's just that "Oh if I don't wash my breakfast dishes Anon won't have clear counterspace to make lunch" might be stickier in his brain (and less hard to look at emotionally) than "this thing I forget to do upsets my partner so I should do it."
For the record, I think that people with ADHD should read up on Demand Avoidance and see if it might explain some of the issues that they have in their day-to-day life; I've seen some really unfortunate situations with friends where trying to do things that their partner needed became the subject of demand avoidance. *I* have experienced negative outcomes of demand avoidance. The solution to that, however, isn't to stop making attempts to do the thing OR to simply try harder to do as they're asked/told (which reinforces the demand), it's to work on setting up a situation where the partners' needs are not interpreted as a demand. This is fuck-off difficult and requires a lot of patience and care and many attempts to succeed and will be different for each person and relationship.
(Also for the record demand avoidance isn't *super* strongly linked to ADHD and it's not a definitive symptom; like Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, it is something that occurs in some number of people with ADHD and can be a useful lens through which to examine various behaviors; you don't need to have DA or RSD to have ADHD, and having DA or RSD also doesn't invalidate your diagnosis; they're symptoms. For me, DA often feels like "if I don't look at it, it can't get me" - If I ignore all the messages I've got they aren't real and don't have real consequences so I'll just ignore my texts. If I don't look at the vendor email about the order, the problem with the order isn't real and it won't get added to my task list. If I don't look at the requests in my inbox I can't let people down when I don't do them. It's a self-protective coping mechanism but it's *maladaptive* and I can't just ignore the vendor email or all my texts. I need to work on a way of doing the stuff that I'm avoiding in a way that makes it less stressful and doesn't hurt the people relying on me. That takes a lot of effort, personal insight, trial and error, and )
But before I dive into specifics I want to be really really clear about one thing: sometimes people are simply incompatible. Sometimes one person has such a low tolerance for "mess" and the other person has such a high threshold for "mess" that it can't be reconciled. It sucks that this can end up being a thing that people break up over, but it is MUCH better to acknowledge incompatibility as early as possible instead of spending years and years building resentment.
There used to be a great forum called MiL's Anonymous that I spent a lot of time on. It had a lot of people in a lot of difficult situations struggling to get by and hold their relationships together. The question that was used as a litmus test to approach each situation was simple: If you knew today that everything about living with this person would be the same in five years, would you stay?
Because you can't control your partner. You can't control the future. You can only control yourself and your proximity to situations that are harmful to you. If you knew, 100%, that things wouldn't get better in five years, would you be okay with staying in this relationship? If the answer is "no," then that's that. Don't worry about questions of whether or not your boyfriend is a shithead, start the process of ending the relationship because there's a good chance the situation is going to be exactly the same in five years.
If the answer is "yes," and you'd stay in the relationship regardless of whether or not things changed, then it's time to take actions to improve your life within the context of the relationship.
(No judgement on that yes or no, btw. If you would hate living like this for another five years, and you would feel like you'd wasted your time and hadn't done the things you wanted to with your life, get out. Bail. Go. It will be better for you and better for your partner if you split instead of spending half a decade building resentments and and problems that you'll have to spend another half a decade healing from.)
Also, a note: you describe your boyfriend's mess as borderline hoarding - is the issue *mess* or is the issue *clutter*? I have friends who are very tidy, but whose homes are very cluttered. They like things, they have many things, they keep many things around, but their houses are always clean and well-dusted and orderly, just with a tremendous amount of *stuff.* I am addressing all of this as though the issue is mess, not clutter. If your boyfriend's situation is clutter (the space is busy and packed with things but it is functional and clean) and your issue isn't with *mess* (things out of place, things not having a place, things that need to be cleaned up gathering in stacks, falling behind on regular chores like laundry and dishes and taking out the trash) then you definitely need to assess whether or not you are compatible.
For instance here's a room that is messy but not cluttered compared to a room that is cluttered but not messy:
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That first room is a *mess* but it would be very easy to clean up in under an hour. The second room is fairly tidy, but would take significant effort to pare down and declutter. BOTH of these can be difficult to live with but the second one is not dangerous or threatening to anyone's health. (The second one is QUITE cluttered and if every room in a house looks like this it can be overwhelming to live with; this is actually harder to deal with in a relationship than the first one in a lot of ways. I don't have a lot of advice for what to do if your partner is a high degree of tidy-but-cluttered because I don't actually think it's a problem or wrong to have thousands of books or bins full of lego or a million kitchen appliances as long as you have the space and can keep it safe and well-maintained; this is a really significant compatibility issue)
Okay, all that out of the way, here's the hard work.
Talk about this shit
Talk to your partner and define "mess." Make sure you are on the same page about what you mean when you're talking about what a messy room looks like versus what a tidy room looks like. Gather reference pictures. DRAW reference pictures.
Explain not just that the mess upsets you, but *why* and *how* it upsets you. In this context don't think of it as your boyfriend's mess, think of it as an unpleasant roommate. Discuss this using "I-statements". "When I have to pick up laundry all over the apartment, I feel like a parent more than a partner." "When there are piles of miniatures all over the table, I feel like I don't have anywhere to do things I'm interested in." "When there are dishes in the sink, I feel frustrated because I have to clean before I can feed myself."
Discuss, frankly and openly, whether he knows how to clean. I'm not trying to make excuses for him here but a lot of people with ADHD have a lot of stress and avoidance around cleaning because they spent a lot of time getting yelled at for not knowing how to clean properly.
Discuss your needs, be firm about what you require but willing to compromise. You *need* some spaces to be clean, and some spaces may be harder for him to keep clean than others. It may be MUCH harder for him to keep a bedroom tidy than it is to keep a kitchen tidy; if you need a clean and empty bedroom with everything put away and he simply cannot do that, that is a compatibility issue. But perhaps you need *your* side of the bedroom to be very orderly and can tolerate a moderate level of mess and clutter on his side. Maybe you're really really bothered by a messy kitchen, but it doesn't bug you if the dining table is covered with projects and papers. Figure out something more workable than "his mess goes everywhere and i live with it because he's incapable of cleaning" because he probably is not incapable of cleaning and you deserve to have places in your home that are comfortable for you.
Reduce friction for cleaning
Sometimes the problem isn't cleaning, the problem is the many many steps before cleaning, or not knowing where something should go when you are done cleaning. One of the absolute best things I've done for myself for cleaning my space is getting a broom holder and mounting the broom to the wall. Sweeping is now essentially thoughtless. I don't have to find the broom or pull it out from a pile of fans or go scrounging around for a dustpan it's right there on the wall, frictionless. So here are some ways to reduce the barriers to cleaning:
Make sure you and your partner both know how to use your cleaning supplies and know where those supplies are. When I switched dishwasher soap I had to re-show Large Bastard where I was storing it and how it was used, because to him what happened was the dishwasher tabs just vanished one day and he didn't know what I was putting in the machine or the process I used. He sometimes puts tools away in places that I can't see (he's more than a foot taller than me) so sometimes I can't get started on a maintenance project until he shows me where he put the battery pack for the drill.
Consider making a how-to chart to or having him make a how-to chart to keep someplace accessible so he can reference it while cleaning. Goblin.Tools Magic ToDo is great for this. Basically a lot of the time people with ADHD have trouble knowing what to do from step to step even if they've done something before, so having a step by step guide can make it easier (I have notebooks full of step-by-step guides for everything from paying for my tuition to removing licenses for my customers to weeding my yard)
Remove obstacles; don't keep cleaning chemicals in the garage in a box that's behind a stack of parts, keep them in the room you'll be cleaning. Don't keep the cleaning supplies that you use to clean the bathroom in the kitchen. Sometimes this means buying two bottles of bleach solution and two scrubbers and two sets of cleaning gloves but having fewer steps (fetch the windex, fetch the paper towels, fetch the gloves) is often the key to getting things done (open under-sink cabinet and grab windex, gloves, and paper towels that are there instead of in the kitchen).
This sort of overlaps with the next category, which is:
Create Dump Zones
One thing that I've found that seems very different between people with ADHD cleaning and neurotypical people cleaning is that neurotypical people are good at getting to a point where the cleaning is "done." They have checked off their tasks and they have finished and it is over. There are *SOME* chores that are like this (taking out the trash is a binary state, the trash has been taken out or it has not) and some chores are perpetual (horrid cursed dishes) but I think with people with ADHD, some chores that are binary for neurotypicals are actually perpetual chores. For instance "clean off the counter" is not a one and done for me. "Clean off the counter" may involve a three day reorganization project. "Clean off the counter" does not mean "wipe down the tile and put dishes away" it means assessing whether or not I need to make vegetable stock and bleaching three tea containers and reconsidering whether or not the sharps container should live somewhere else and going through the mail and figuring out what needs to be responded to and taking out the recycling and on and on and on.
We have had company at the house for the last two weeks, so I asked large bastard to clean off the dining room table, which is largely a project zone for him. Cleaning off the dining room table meant putting away his meds (and since he's a transplant patient that involves a 30 gallon rubbermade tote), throwing away some trash, and totally reorganizing his workshop. It also incidentally involved picking up a table from facebook marketplace and moving my plants, which has now involved moving my former plant rack outside (moving buckets, finding and organizing planters and gardening tools) and taking the former table to the thrift store (not done yet) and cleaning the rug that was under the former table. So "either the table is clean, or it isn't" isn't really true for us.
HOWEVER "hang on we can't eat until the table is clear so let's drive to Pico Rivera to get that console table right now" isn't a workable plan, so you create dumpzones as areas of holding between the start and the finish of the chore.
A dump zone can be a laundry basket. It can be a craft bin. It can be a back room or under your bed. It is a place to put things that you are going to deal with later because if you deal with them now it is going to derail the thing you are actually trying to do, which is set the table for dinner.
Dump zones are vital to cleaning with ADHD and I recommend them for day-to-day cleaning as well. The day-to-day dump zones might be more for you than for your boyfriend. For instance, Large Bastard works with bullets and he sheds bullets all over the house. I used to get stressed when I found bullets when I was cleaning because are these work bullets? Are these recreational bullets? Are they in testing? Do they need to be pulled? Do they go in the workshop or the office or the garage or does he need these today so they have to stay on the counter? And the answer now is "that's not my problem naughty bullets go in the jar." Which is perfectly sensible because he gets to say "mystery yarn goes in the bin" and "art supplies go in the bucket."
I feel helpless when cleaning a lot of the time. I'm frustrated and lost and I don't know where stuff goes and everything I pick up spins off into three projects in my head and every step feels like a wall to scale. Dump zones help me with that when there's pressure or a reason for cleaning beyond day to day home maintenance. People are coming over? The bedroom is a dump zone, I'll deal with that later. I'm just cleaning up because I need to? Okay I can find a permanent home for this new dish soap.
AS A VERY IMPORTANT COROLLARY TO THIS:
Active projects do not go in dump zones while you or your partner are cleaning. This may mean designating a project sanctuary area like a corner of the table or one particular chair in your main room where a project can be placed so as not to be disturbed. (if my current crochet project ends up in the yarn bin, that may mean that I don't pick the project up for another three months, it lives on the windowsill behind the couch because that's where it'll get worked on)
Do not put things away for your partner, put them in the dump zone for your partner. Your partner has to be the one to put their own stuff away in a way that works for them. I tend to find that this naturally puts a limit on the time stuff sits in the dump zone, because eventually you'll go "hey where's my thing?" and will put stuff away. If that doesn't happen, it's still generally better to have stuff in a dump zone than all over the home.
Do not decide you know what things go together from your partner's stuff and try to "put like things together." The neurotypical urge to put like things together is the mindkiller(j/k). You do not know which things are "similar" in your partner's organization schema and attempting to organize things on your own is going to end up with all of the things "organized" being functionally lost forever from your partner's perspective. Large Bastard's mom would do this and it was infuriating, she'd say "oh I put all the electronics stuff in one box" and she would mean soldering irons, transistors, ham radios, HDMI cables, and cellphone chargers. We are *still* going through boxes of stuff that she "tidied up" when he was hospitalized in 2020 and 2021.
To prevent the need for quite so many dump zones over time, you can work on setting up landing zones and "homes" for projects and tools.
Landing Zones
Landing zones are places where things go when you come inside from doing various things. Sometimes your landing zone only needs to be a tray for your wallet and keys, sometimes your landing zone needs to be a place to take off muddy boots and put a trowel and gloves down before you shower.
To make an effective landing zone, consider what behaviors you're trying to minimize and whether the people using it are ACTUALLY going to use it. For instance I was tired of the corner of my hearth getting cluttered with random junk so I hung up some hooks and put a shelf and a basket there and it became a really effective landing zone for my bag and keys and the mail, but it was VERY ineffective for Large Bastard because it's by a door that isn't the primary door he uses to enter the house. As a result I always know where my keys and bag are but he has trouble finding his keys and wallet. He tends to enter the house through our bedroom and has an overloaded valet next to the door and that's usually where his wallet ends up. Mounting a shelf to the wall above the valet and putting a basket and a hook on it will be a better place for his stuff to land. It's not that he's not using the first zone because he doesn't know that it's there, or because he doesn't care about lost time when I'm searching for my car keys after he borrows them, he's not using it because it's not by the door he uses. That's all.
I have a landing space for when I come in for gardening that's different than the one when I come in from grocery shopping. I have a landing space for when I walk into the dining room instead of the kitchen when I get home.
Landing spaces prevent stuff from piling up all over the place because they are a limited functional space that should be used frequently. Mail ONLY goes in the landing zone. If you have mystery mail or if you're not sure it's safe to toss, you put it in the landing zone. You can't let the mail get piled up too high or you won't have a space for your keys. You can't let the change in your wallet tray get too deep or your wallet is going to slide off, etc., but you also don't just put change on the coffee table or your nightstand because the landing zone is right there.
Homes for items are just what they sound like. They're the place the item goes. It lives there. My meds live on my nightstand. You would not believe how poorly I did with taking my meds on my vacation because they weren't on my nightstand. A while back large bastard lost one of his sets of sorted meds and we tore the house up looking for them because he couldn't find them in his nightstand, which is where they live. *I* found them in his nightstand because I emptied out the entire top drawer (he had only looked on the top layer) and found them underneath a radio and a hammock. Even though they were *hidden* they were in their home, so they were findable. I recently needed ink for an art class. Art supplies live in a dresser by my desk. Ink lives in the art bin or the top left drawer. The ink was not in either of these places (it was on a cabinet in the dining room behind a teacup) so it took me weeks to find it.
Sometimes the reason that ADHD spaces are so messy is because objects have been assigned homes in places that are visible and if they get moved they get lost. This is a genuinely difficult problem that requires a lot of effort to solve and can involve a lot of trial and error for creating a tidy living space. For some people, open shelving and visible storage might be a good solution. For some people, assigning a VERY clear home and inculcating that location by habit is the only way to clean up a space. For some people one very cluttered corner to at least isolate the chaos does the trick (for me and large bastard open shelving doesn't work because anything in one place for too long becomes invisible; that means that I rely on assigning things homes and large bastard relies on having contained chaos and a general idea of where to search but what that DOES NOT mean is that he is clean or tidy. His spaces look like an explosion. But he can mostly find his stuff and do what he needs to do and as long as that's limited to specific places in shared spaces I can live with it; the dining room table can be a disaster, the kitchen cannot).
People organize things differently. It often takes a while for neurotypical adults to settle into an organizational style that works for them and ADHD adults may need to settle into a new system every few months for it to continue working. The cleanup and declutter is most likely going to be a permanent project that is always going to demand some level of attention from everyone in a shared space, but "my ADHD means I can't do it" is not really going to fly. Maybe his ADHD means that he can't keep his space tidy, but it doesn't mean you can't move stuff from shared spaces into dump zones or that he can't do stuff around the house.
If he's insisting that his ADHD means that he can't clean it is possible that he's not being a shithead, he just feels helpless and doesn't know where to start and has adopted the belief that he's a useless piece of shit who can't even keep a tidy space like a grownup because he's internalized a lot of shitty attitudes (hello, my internal monologue about keeping a clean house). But it's also possible that he's just being a shithead.
It's something that's worthwhile to investigate with him. If he's unwilling to make an attempt, then he's being a shithead.
It is also not your responsibility to rehabilitate another person. If he wants to clean and it's something he feels bad about and needs some help and support with the way that someone might need help or support for learning to use a mobility aid, that is fine but you don't have to be the one who gives him that support if it's detrimental to your health, and you don't have to be the one to teach him that stuff if it's not something you're capable of. And if he is NOT interested in working on making your shared living space more accessible for you, that is not your suitcase to unpack and you just have to ask yourself the question from the start: would I stay with this person if I knew the situation was never going to change?
IDK, I'm sure a lot of this reads like "anon you must take on the emotional labor of training your partner to be an adult" but it's really meant to be more of a way of assessing yourself and your relationship. If you created landing zones do you think he'd use them? Would he get angry if you assigned a laundry basket as a dump zone for his stuff while you tidy the living room? Is living with him long-term going to be comfortable for you if nothing changes? Do you have enough of a shared definition of "mess" that you're at least in the ballpark for what counts as a clean house?
anyway good luck, and a reminder to folks that I'm compiling a bunch of adhd resources and other information on my personal website, ms-demeanor.com. It's coming along slowly but it will eventually include stuff like ADHD cleaning tips and how to tackle a hoard, so maybe keep your eye on that space.
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sanguineterrain · 2 months ago
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holiday spirit | jason todd
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Summary: Stuck at a shitty office party for your shitty job on Christmas Eve Eve, you’re at your wit’s end. The last thing you expect is to play vigilante for a night with the Red Hood.
Pairing: Jason Todd x fem!reader 
Word count: 7.2k
Warnings/tags: panic attacks, reader has anxiety, creepy coworkers, office party shenanigans, canon-typical violence, jason being both a menace and a sweetheart, attempts at humor, fake relationship, silliness!
the divider
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You’re grateful for a reason to escape. Someone announces that the lights on the obnoxious eleven-foot Christmas tree are burned out and you’re already on the elevator, volunteering to find spare lights. 
You hate these office parties. They’re just a way to play politics, show off fiancés, and reaffirm cliques. You wanted to skip it all together. But Mr. Emerson, your boss, had insisted that attending tonight’s party was mandatory.
Alma had told you about a hundred times to skip tonight, but Alma’s worked here since the Reagan administration and has too much pull to be fired. You, conversely, have been here eight months, and if you get fired, your next job is going to be as a henchman for a B-list Gotham villain. 
Being painfully ordinary and anxious is a toxic mix. Your doctor still thinks all your worrying is because of your menstrual cycle. He doesn’t believe in work-related stress.
So anyway. You’re just trying to get through tonight. And find some tree lights that work. 
You unlock the spare office where all the holiday junk is stored and turn on the light. 
The motherfucking Red Hood looks at you, one leg dangling outside of the window and one leg inside the office. He unclicks his harness. 
"Oh my God,” you say, hand frozen on the light switch.
Red Hood pulls his leg in from the window and steps into the office. He puts the harness in a duffel bag and roughly zips it, then tosses it unceremoniously onto the floor. 
"Oh my God.”
He glances at you, helmet eyes glowing. "No God here, just me.”
"Oh my God," you say again, near hysterics. "Oh my God, Red Hood."
"Always nice to meet a fan," he says irritably, brushing snow off of his jacket, flashing his holsters. Oh, fuck. That's a lot of guns.
"What, um—" You close your eyes, lick your lips, try to find your sanity. "To what do I—why—are you gonna kill me?”
"The fuck? You think I'd sneak into an office and kill someone in cold blood? What kinda operation you think I'm running?"
Your mouth opens and closes in horror. "Wh–I... I don't—I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, Mr. Hood."
"Please, Mr. Hood was my father."
He laughs. You taste bile in your throat. 
Hood sobers. "Damn. Tough crowd. Look, sorry to freak you out, but I got shit to do. If you'll just point me to Hershel Emerson's office, I'll be on my merry way."
"That's m-my boss. Are you gonna kill him?" You can’t handle murder tonight. You’ll have a breakdown for sure. 
"Literally, what did I just say?" Hood throws his hands up. "Not one minute ago. I'm not killing anyone!"
"Yet?" you ask weakly, mind inundated with too many mob movies to watch your manners. You know what the Red Hood is all about. Everyone does. 
"No. I'm not killing Emerson. But he is a bad dude, so I gotta take care of business. Actually, I should kill him. He deserves it."
You squeak in horror. He raises a hand.
"But I'm not!" he says gruffly. "Respectfully, get a grip. You live in Gotham."
You swallow. "What're you gonna do to my boss if not kill him?"
Hood shrugs. "Eh, maybe scare him a bit. Mostly get intel to take him down. He's currently sitting on five million dollars of stolen life savings from clients."
You blink. "What?"
"Yup. What I really wanna know is which of his employees are in on it. He didn't do this alone."
Hood takes out a small roll-up pouch of what looks like lockpicking tools. You release your sweaty death grip on the doorknob, causing it to squeak. Hood doesn't look up.
five million dollars is ringing in your head. That happened here. Where you work. Your boss is even scummier than you thought.
“Is that a lockpicking kit?” you ask.
“Yup. Good eye.”
"This seems... illegal.”
"Well, I won't lie to you, most of what I do is. You won't be implicated though.”
He looks at you. You flinch. Even with the lights on, the Red Hood is scary as shit. 
"Yeah..." he says, shaking his head. "You wouldn’t do well in prison. I can tell."
Your chest hurts. "I don't think anyone does well in prison," you say, eyebrows scrunching. "Have... you been to prison?"
"Only to break out a friend. You ask a lot of questions."
"Sorry. Um, Mr. Red Hood—"
"Ah-ah. Call me Red. Or Hood. No Mister-ing."
"Okay.” You lick your lips, hoping he doesn't go back on his temporary no-kill policy. “Hood, do you think you could come later? After the Christmas party?”
He tilts his head at you. You keep talking. 
“Not that I don't admire what you're doing! Because I think taking down my boss for stealing money is great, eat the rich and all that, but, um, I came up here to get lights to replace the ones that burned out downstairs because that's a normal thing that happens and now you're here, at my job, and I'm freaking out. Oh God, oh my God—”
You grab the wall for stability, feeling like you've been rocking on a boat for hours. Sweat beads on your forehead. This time, you really do feel like you’ll throw up. Throwing up in front of the Red Hood would be humiliating. 
“Look, I got shit to do, okay? I'm sorry you're freaking out but your boss is gonna cash out in a few days and then I lose him and that five million. It's now or never."
You should've just stayed home and baked cookies. Fuck being social! This is what happens when you're social: you meet morally gray vigilantes who force you to be complicit with their crimes.
Your cheeks feel wet. Are you crying? Maybe it’s sweat. 
Hood points to the hallway. "Is there a camera outside?"
"Y-yeah.” Your voice is weak. “I think I’m having a heart attack. Can you call security on your way out?"
“Does your left arm hurt?”
“No, but—”
“Are your limbs stiffening?”
“No, but—”
“You’re not having a heart attack. Your speech is fine.”
Hood takes out a few more things from the duffel, then kicks it under a desk with his foot. You wheeze and grab onto the doorknob again. 
It’s quiet for a second. Then— 
“Shit. You're having a panic attack,” Hood says.
"Mm, probably," you say, hunched over like an armadillo. Fuck your stupid doctor. 
There's silence as you wheeze quietly. Then something small hits your head. You flinch and squeal.
"You don't need to throw things at me!" you say, beyond defeated, near tears.
"No, I wasn't—sorry. It's a Warhead. I have one when I'm feeling… not my best. They're s’posed to help occupy your other senses so the panic disappears."
You stare at the candy, confused and suspicious at once. "Is it spiked?"
"Again, what sorta operation do you think I'm running? It's not drugs. Look." Hood unwraps a Warhead and sticks it in his mouth underneath his helmet. You hear him suck on it. "Eesh, that's sour. Okay? No drugs."
So you take the candy from the floor, unwrap it, and pop it into your mouth. The sour taste immediately overwhelms you. It's like your brain resets. You pant through the sour.
"Ough," you say, face scrunching from the taste.
"Yeah, right? Life changing hack."
You suck on the candy desperately and close your eyes, trying to find your breath. 
“It’s okay,” Hood says, stilted and awkward. “Just, uh, focus on your breathing. Exhale longer than you inhale. Breathe through your nose.”
It takes another few minutes, but the feeling passes. Your chest lightens. It’s the quickest you’ve ever recovered from a panic attack. 
“I was just kidding about the prison thing,” Hood says. “You’re not gonna go to jail ‘cause of this, I promise.”
Yeah, but what if you lose your job?
You spit the Warhead into a trash can and smack your tongue a bit. “Are you sure you can’t come back tomorrow night?”
“No can do,” Hood says. “Your boss will be gone by then.”
“It's just that I'm really bad with keeping secrets and according to Google, that's how ulcers form and I really can't afford any sick days off, so—"
You yelp as the door suddenly swings open, hitting your shoulder. You spin around.
"Hey," Bill says, squinting at you. "Where have you been?”
"No!" you yell, and turn off the light. 
Bill stares at you, illuminated by the hallway light. “Uh…”
You clear your throat. "Ahem. I'm fine. It's just taking me a moment to sift through all these decorations. Please return to the party.”
You hate Bill. He’s a sleaze and doesn’t do any work. More than once, he’s trapped you by the water cooler in a conversation about his “smokin’” imaginary lawyer girlfriend.
“If you wanted me to come help you, you could've just said so," he says, reaching for the light, way too close. You don’t like his tone either.
"No!" you yell, blocking the light switch with your hands.
"What the hell? Why not?"
"Because—"
There's a creak from the back. You wince. 
Bill immediately whips his head toward the sound. "Is someone here? Hello?"
He reaches for the light. Again, you block him, swatting his hands away.
"Would you stop—is someone here?"
"My boyfriend!" you blurt.
Bill stops, looking at you. "Your boyfriend? You've never mentioned a boyfriend."
"Well, I have one and he's here."
"Okay. Why can't I turn on the light and see him?"
"Because he's... um..."
You spot the red Santa suit out of the corner of your eye. 
Oh, this is a terrible idea.
"He's changing! He's our Santa for the party. Surprise!" You make weak jazz hands.
Bill looks into the dark where you're pretty sure Hood is hiding. You hope, anyway. Otherwise Bill is going to tell everyone that you're making up boyfriends. "Really?"
"Yeah, really," comes Hood's unmodulated, deadpan reply, and you jump. "Don't turn on the light. I'm naked."
"Oh..." Bill looks queasy for a moment. "Uh—" He looks at you and suddenly grins. "Oh, I get it. You two were having fun before going to the party, huh? Didn't know you were such a wildcat."
"That’s disgusting,” you say. “I would never do that in the office.”
Bill wiggles his eyebrows. "Me-ow. Does the Santa thing turn you on?"
"I'm right here, Bill, and naked or not, I'll kick your ass," Hood says.
Bill pales and quickly backs out of the room. "Right. Sorry. Uh, carry on."
He closes the door. You push your back against it and exhale, heart racing.
"Bill is a shithead," Hood says. 
“How… do you know his name?”
“Employee background check,” Hood says mildly. 
"Oh… yeah, he's been written up a bunch of times for inappropriate behavior, but he's close with Emerson, so he never gets fired."
"Want me to kill him for you? Free of charge."
"What? No! Hood—"
"Oh, relax. I was kidding."
"Uh-huh." You turn on the light. Hood has his helmet on, and his voice is modulated again. "What're we gonna do?"
"Well, I'm gonna go make sure Hershel doesn’t fuck off to Bermuda. The lights you wanted are here, by the way."
Hood tosses you a box of multi-colored tree lights. Then he walks toward you. You plaster yourself across the door.
"Wait! You can't leave. I said that my boyfriend is going to be Santa. Bill will tell everyone. They’ll expect you.”
"I appreciate your quick thinking, but that's a hard pass,” Hood says.
"You can't leave now! Bill's gonna tell everyone I'm a liar and they'll think I was up to something worse in here, like snorting coke."
"I mean this gently: I think you should look into anti-anxiety meds. My brother swears by Xanax.”
“My doctor won’t prescribe it to me,” you say glumly. “He thinks my anxiety is made up.”
“Huh. Want me to kill him? I know a better doctor.”
"Well…” You hesitate, then shake your head. “No! No. Hood, please. They’re all gonna expect a Santa. And when I don’t show up with Santa, they’ll remember that I didn’t participate in White Elephant or any of that other office nonsense that I don’t want to waste my money on. I need this job!”
“They’re not gonna fire you for not doing White Elephant,” Hood says. 
“You don’t know them! It’s a popularity contest.”
But Hood is indeed disinterested in the fact that you'll be the office pariah. Probably because he’s never worked in an office. 
Instead, he ushers you aside without a struggle. Then he turns the doorknob.
"Wait! Wait, listen. If you dress as Santa, you'll have access to the party and offices. You won't have to sneak around. And people get really drunk at these. They'll talk. You can figure out who's helping Emerson steal money."
His hand pauses. He looks at you. You look back, wringing your hands.
"You're pretty crafty," he says. 
"...Thanks?”
Hood releases the doorknob. "Alright, fine. I'll do the Santa shtick.”
“You will?”
He tilts his head. “Should I not?”
“No! No, you should. It’ll be a good disguise.”
He hums. “Sure. But we're in this together now, got it? You blow my cover and we both go down."
"Y-yeah, got it."
Hood heaves a gusty sigh. "Next time, I'm sending Roy in to do this shit."
"Who's Roy?"
"Ah." He holds up a finger. "Too many questions."
He makes a beeline for the Santa costume and then looks at you expectantly.
"Yo. Boyfriend or not, you're not watching me change. Guard the door, Mrs. Claus."
"Oh, right. Sorry."
You turn off the light and go into the hall, shutting the door behind you. It's empty, luckily. You rap your fingers on the box of lights, leg jiggling. 
This is insane. You should just tell Hood you can't do this and let him figure out his own plan.
But then... this would make it easier to find Emerson's crime partner. And you're really sick of Bill being a jerk. You don’t want to be called a liar, or get iced out for the rest of your time here because you didn’t bring Santa. Maybe having Hood be your Santa-boyfriend would make people leave you alone. Which is a crazy reason to stick to this plan, but still. You're trying to find the bright side.
And all those people that Emerson stole from... surely, you have a responsibility to help get their money back and bring him to justice, don't you?
The door swings open. You turn around.
“You wear a mask under your helmet?” 
“As a precaution.” He sounds defensive. “Lots of people in my profession do it.” 
You doubt that. “Don’t you think it’ll be weird if Santa has a mask on?” 
He hesitates, evidently debating between protecting his identity and arousing suspicion.
“Fine.” He carefully peels off the mask and tucks it into his pocket. The surrounding skin is slightly pink from irritation. His nose and cheeks are dotted with freckles. 
And wow. The Red Hood has beautiful eyes. So vibrant and clear, like seafoam. And young! How old is he, anyway? He doesn’t look much older than you, if at all. 
His eyes are framed by thick, dark lashes, and it makes sense, Hood being a brunet.
“What?” he snaps, glaring.
“Nice eyes,” you blurt.
His brows furrow. You remember the guns.
“Um, anyway. Should we go?” you squeak out, backing away.
Hood huffs through the beard. It flutters. "We need to have some ground rules."
"Okay."
"First, you should know that I will shoot if there's a physical threat at this party. Two, you're gonna call me Todd at the party. Three, if you try to tell anyone that I'm Red Hood or that I'm taking down Emerson, I will make your life hell. And if you're his partner, you'd better tell me now or I'm gonna be a lot less jolly."
"I'm not!" you say. "I would never do that. And I won't tell anyone you're Red Hood."
"Good. Let's go. Keep your ears open for hints about Emerson's partner."
He takes off in long strides. You hurry to keep up. The Santa costume doesn't slow him down.
"So how did you find out that Emerson's stealing?" you ask.
"Got a tip. You really didn't know he was stealing?"
“I don’t have access to the finances. I work in user interface. Website design.”
"Yeah? That's pretty cool. I got a brother who's into that stuff," Hood says.
"The same one who takes Xanax?”
“Would you believe it?”
You try to picture Red Hood with a regular family. With a brother or a sister or a father. It's hard to imagine.
“How come you don’t take anti-anxiety medication?” you ask. 
“I have Pit Madness Syndrome, and it has a weird chemical reaction with that stuff.”
“Oh.” Subject change. Quickly! "Do you celebrate Christmas?" 
"Not really. I'm not a believer or celebrator of much. You can see what my plans are two days before Christmas."
"Your family doesn't celebrate?"
Hood just grunts, eyes suddenly stormy. You take the hint and stop talking.
The room where the party is isn't particularly special. It's big enough to fit about a hundred people. For all the money the company makes, you'd thought that they could afford to splurge a little and rent an actual hall. Now you know what the profits have been going toward. But the decorations are decently lavish.
"Oh, wait." Hood leans in to speak in your ear. Lightning shoots down your spine. "I don't know your name."
You give it. He repeats it, and you shiver, like your boyfriend just said your name.
"'Kay. Stay in this room. We don't know how much Emerson or his partner knows, but assume they’re willing to do anything to get away with the money."
You nod. “Got it.”
“Hey, it’s Santa!” Bill shouts from across the room. “He made it!”
You smile tightly. “As promised.”
A few people wave. Others cheer. 
“These people really like Christmas, huh?” Hood asks.
“You have no idea,” you say, hyperaware of his hand brushing your back.
“Don’t think I got your name, man,” Bill says as he approaches. He sticks a hand out. “Bill.”
“Todd,” Hood says, taking his hand and shaking. Bill winces at the handshake. You hide a smile.
“Ah, Todd. Right.” Bill looks at you, trying to subtly soothe his hand. “You’ve never mentioned him.”
You shrug. “Never came up.”
“I’m pretty private,” Hood says, putting an arm around your shoulders. “But we’re very much in love. Ain’t that right, baby?”
“Th-that’s right… honey,” you say, face going hot.
“So what do you do for work?” Bill asks. “My girlfriend’s a lawyer.”
You roll your eyes. Hood snorts.
“There’s no way you’re dating anyone. You look like you got dressed in the dark, Billy.”
You cough your laugh into your arm. Bill’s eye twitches.
“Enjoy the party,” he says icily. He glares at you, then stomps away.
“That was amazing, but I think Bill might retaliate,” you say. 
“Don’t worry ‘bout him,” Hood says. “I’ll take care of it.”
You look at him with big eyes. “Hood—”
“Not like that. Just… it’ll be handled. Okay?”
You nod. Maybe it’s insane, but you trust him. “Okay. Want some punch?”
Hood hums. “No alcohol. Thanks.”
You go to the punch bowl, a little relieved to escape Hood’s piercing ocean-eyed stare. He’s intense. Whoever dates him for real is in for a ride. 
Then again, you can’t imagine Hood meeting someone for coffee or dinner. You giggle at the image of him showing up with his guns and helmet. 
“Hey, IT.” A woman in a white sweater you’ve seen maybe once waves at you. “Cool idea, bringing a Santa.”
“Yeah, Emerson’s too cheap to,” the man next to her says. They laugh.
You smile. “Glad you like it.”
You serve yourself two cups of the alcohol-free punch. Then you turn. 
Your smile falls. Across the room is Hood and Tanya Donaldson, resident shit-stirrer. She’s trying to cozy up to him. You sigh and walk over, bracing yourself.
“Hey, baby,” Hood says, practically dragging you into his side. He takes a cup of punch. “Just met Tanya.”
You can guess exactly how he feels about that.
"Oh, is he your boyfriend?" Tanya asks, eyeing Hood like he's a slab of steak. “I had no idea!”
"Uh-huh," you say. "This is Todd."
She wiggles her fingers, grinning. “So how often do you go to the gym, Todd?” She rests a hand on Hood's arm. "I didn't know Santa was so big and broad."
Your gaze drifts to where you're pretty sure Hood has a gun strapped to his ankle, and the temptation does appear, you won't deny.
But you need this job and it's going to be really hard to explain why Santa's armed and dangerous, so you just grit your teeth. Tanya's the worst for this kind of behavior and she doesn't respect you, so bringing your hunky boyfriend is like dangling a bunch of carrots in her face. 
And it’s not like Todd is actually your boyfriend. 
"Are you flirting with me in front of my girlfriend?" Hood asks, prying her hand off of his arm.
"Flirting?" She claps a hand over her mouth, the movement slightly delayed from all the wine. "No, oh my God! I was just saying—"
"That's really pathetic," Hood says. "Don't do that."
He walks away and you follow, leaving a wobbly Tanya on her own. You smile to yourself.
"Thank you for that," you say.
Hood gives you a thumbs up. "I can plant evidence on her and get her fired if you want."
"No, I don't want to feel damned for eternity. Thanks anyway."
"You have a lot of assholes at your job," Hood says. "But you're not one. I admire that.”
You sigh. "They're not all bad. Alma is cool. She keeps me from quitting.”
"And where is she?"
"At home. She's a sixty-two year old accountant who doesn't care about these parties. Her hip aches when it's cold."
"Mm. Maybe you should follow her lead," Hood says.
"But then who would help you with your spycraft, Hood?"
He allows himself a tiny laugh at that. You wonder how often he laughs. If ever.
“Well, suffering Tanya wasn’t in vain. She said this whole party cost twenty grand.”
“So?”
He gestures grandly. “Does this look like it cost twenty grand to put this together?” 
It's true. The alcohol is the most expensive thing here. No food, except for some people that participated in the potluck, but you don't trust anybody's food here. The decorations are old. Not to mention the Red Hood as your Santa. Your boss might have spared a thousand for tonight. No more. 
“So where did all that money go?” you ask. 
Hood snaps his fingers. “Bingo.” 
“That is so shitty. I got a chocolate-covered pretzel as my Christmas bonus,” you say. 
“A bag of ‘em?” He shakes his head. “Pretty cheap.”
“Ha, no. No, I got one big pretzel. In a box. The box cost more than the pretzel, I think.”
His eyes widen. “Jesus. Even I give more than that to my guys.”
“Got any openings?” you ask, half-joking. 
Hood snorts. “Don't think you'd like what we do. Why d’you stay?” 
You shrug. “Nowhere else to go. I have to eat somehow.” 
“Crappy boss, crappy coworkers, no Christmas bonus. Hell, I feel sorry for ya.”
The Red Hood feels sorry for you. Perhaps you've reached a new low. 
He drinks the punch and coughs. “Ahem, wow. Did you make the punch?”
“No, some people mixed it here.”
“Oh, then I'll be honest. Tastes like a flavor that's not found in nature.” He throws his cup away. You trust him and set your still-full cup on a table.
“I won't even mention the potluck,” you say. 
“Yeesh. Can't eat at everyone's house.” 
“That's what I say!” 
He winks at you. You look away, flustered. 
The crazy thing is, you could get used to this. Well, not specifically Red Hood, but having a boyfriend to bring to these functions, who’ll warn you against gross punch and defend you against Tanya. 
And Hood is surprisingly good at this. If you forget the past hour, you can almost pretend that this is just another office party that you happen to be spending with your new boyfriend. 
"Hey, look! It's Santa! Dude, check me out with Santa!"
One of the finance guys who's very drunk—you want to say that his name is Matt—bounds up to you and Hood. Hood tenses, reaching for his hip (gun!) and you touch his elbow, reminding him to relax. He drops his arm. 
Matt reeks of alcohol, the front of his shirt stained with bourbon. He laughs, forehead shiny with sweat.
"Santaaa, hey, Saint Nick, take a pic with me, man!"
Matt throws his arms around Hood. Hood does not like that and shoves him off accordingly. But Matt doesn't seem to notice and holds up his phone, camera facing front. Hood slaps the phone out of his hand.
"No pictures," he says.
You wince. The guy stares and blinks, taking three to five business days to process what just happened.
"What the fuck, man? That was my phone!"
"Sorry. I'm drunk." Hood sighs like he's physically in pain, then leans back and makes drinking motions with his fingers. "Fuckin' wasted! Did you try those rum shots? Lit, dude!"
The guy cheers up, forgetting all about the phone. "Oh, yeah, for sure! I'm gonna go get one right now! Thanks, Santa!"
"You do that!" Hood says cheerily.
As soon as the guy leaves, Hood returns to his resting scary face.
"Wow," you say.
"I know. I threw up in my mouth a little."
You laugh. Hood grins. Then it fades.
"Damn it. We're getting no closer to finding Emerson's partner. I should just interrogate Emerson until he tells me."
Interrogate makes you feel woozy. You're pretty sure you know what Hood's idea of an interrogation is.
"Wait! We just need to lure them out. If they think their money might be in jeopardy, they'll sneak out of the party to go check on it, right?" you ask.
"Potentially, yes. But how do we lure 'em?"
"There's an alert if someone withdraws more than ten thousand dollars from the company. But I don't have access to the accounts," you say.
Hood smiles slowly. "You don't need it. Remember I mentioned my computer whiz brother?"
"Yeah…” You grimace. “This sounds illegal again.”
"Hell yeah it is. He owes me a favor too. Lemme call him."
You two go off to the side while Hood dials.
"Yeah?" comes a voice on the other end. He doesn’t sound at all like Hood, more like a one percenter from the Diamond District. This is Hood’s brother?
"Aliases only. I need you to withdraw fifty grand from Emerson Corp,” Hood says. 
"Why?”
“‘Cause you owe me a favor. Just do it.”
“Zombie breath.”
“Shortass,” Hood says, voice taking on a distinct older brother tone. 
“You’re such an asshole,” the voice says. He yawns. “B’s wondering if you’re coming tomorrow.”
“I’d rather die again,” Hood says. “And you can tell him I said that.”
“The broody emo bullshit is getting old, dude,” the voice says.
You giggle. Hood looks at you sharply. You press your lips together, properly chastened. Sorry, you mouth.
"Who's that?" the voice asks.
"No one," Hood says. "Did you do it?"
"Chill out. I'm getting past their firewall. So who is that?”
“It’s the TV,” Hood says.
“No, it’s not. That was a lady's laugh, IRL. And you wouldn’t lie if it was someone we know…”
“Mind your damn—”
“I’m helping him with a case,” you blurt. 
Hood throws his hand up, glaring at you. It’s silent on the other end of the phone for a solid ten seconds. Then…
“Holy shit,” Hood’s brother says. “You do have a girlfriend. Wait. Hold on. This is wild. You don’t even have a social security number.”
“I do not have a girlfriend!” Hood snaps, drawing the attention of some coworkers. You nudge him. He exhales through his nose.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, you little fucker,” he says, quieter. “She’s telling the truth.”
“Can I ask your girlfriend a question? Respectfully, what were you thinking? You can do so much b—”
“Text me when it’s done,” Hood growls and hangs up.
You look at each other for a moment. 
“You didn't hear any of that,” Hood says. “Got it?”
“Got it.” 
“Good. Let's see who gets scared. He should do it right about…” 
His phone beeps. You look around the room. 
Soon, your culprit reveals himself. Matt!
Holy shit. 
"He didn't want a picture," Hood says slowly. "He was frisking me! Motherfucker."
"But isn't he drunk?" you ask.
"No." Hood sighs in disgust. "How did I miss that? Br—someone I know does that all the time, spilling alcohol on himself so he smells like he's been drinking. God. Oldest trick in the book!"
"Do you think he knows you're the Red Hood?"
"No. But he might suspect something. Let's go.” 
You follow Matt out of the party. He's walking fast. Yeah. Definitely your guy. 
Down the hallway, Matt turns around and makes direct eye contact with you. You panic. 
“Hood!” you whisper. 
“I know,” he says. “Follow my lead.” 
Loudly, he laughs and puts an arm around your waist. “C’mon, baby, no one’ll know.”
And then you're being herded into a janitor’s closet. 
You stumble in, confused and reeling from how easily Hood plays the affectionate boyfriend role. He follows you in, shuts the door, and pulls the chain dangling from the ceiling. The single light bulb turns on. 
You take care to not knock over any cleaning supplies. You don't see the mop on the floor, however, and you trip backwards on the handle. 
Hood's reaction time is impeccable. He jerks forward to catch you, tugging you back on your feet with his hands on your arms. 
“Y’alright?” he asks. 
“Uh-huh,” you say, mildly mortified. “Thanks.”
He lets go. You shift on your feet. 
“How long are we gonna stay here?” you ask. 
Hood checks his phone. “Well, he should've moved on by now. Let's—”
The doorknob jiggles. You look at Hood in fear. His expression is similar. 
“Pretend!” you whisper, and that's all he needs to understand and move. 
You're expecting your arms around Hood, maybe exaggeratedly feeling him up. You are not expecting Hood to hoist you up by the backs of your thighs and press you against the wall. You squeal, arms shooting out to hold onto his neck. Hood's beard ends up in your mouth and you spit it out. 
The door swings open, revealing a very tipsy couple. 
“Oops!” the woman says, grinning. “Sorry. Carry on.”
The guy gives a thumbs-up. “True love.”
You smile awkwardly. Something is pressing into your hip.
“True love,” Hood deadpans. “Rock on.”
As soon as the door closes, you're squirming. 
“What is that?” you hiss. 
“My gun! Oh my God, it's my gun,” Hood says, quickly setting you down. “It's not…”
He trails off and backs away. You stand there, processing what just happened. 
“That wasn’t—”
“I didn’t—”
You both stop. Hood adjusts his beard. 
“You're really strong,” you say, wringing your hands. 
Hood nods. “Sorry about the, uh…”
“Yeah, let's just not talk about this.”
“Yup. Find Matt?” 
“Absolutely.” 
You open the door and peek out. The hallway is empty. Glory be.
“All clear,” you say, and Hood is on your heels as you sneak out. 
“Any ideas on where he'd go?” Hood asks. 
“Matt works in a cubicle like the rest of us. Emerson’s office is on the twelfth floor.” 
“Fine. We'll hit Emerson's office first. More privacy, and maybe they'll both be there. Two birds.”
“Emerson's office is protected by a password lock. He changes it every night,” you say, scurrying to keep up with Hood. 
“That's fine. I got a key right here,” he says, patting his holster.
“Wait! If the lock is tampered with, it sets off an alarm and security will come. You can't shoot it, Hood.”
He stops and sighs. “Why is everything so goddamn complicated? Alright, new plan. I'm gonna get my stuff from where we were and I'll break in the old-fashioned way.” 
Fifteen Minutes Later.
“This seems really unsafe!” you say, watching Hood dangle outside a three story window on a wire. He's attached to a grappling hook but still. Still! 
“Eh, I died once. Didn't stick. Hold the hook.” 
“I am!” As if you'd do anything but. You don't want the Red Hood to become Red Goo. 
Chilly December wind makes your eyes water and your nose cold. Still, you hold on. 
“Almost there!” he says. 
“Hey! What're you doing?” 
You whirl around and close your eyes due to the flashlight shining at them. Even though the lights are on. 
An elderly security guard glares at you. It's a good thing you're not an actual criminal… though after tonight, you're not so sure. 
“Um.” You try to hold onto the hook while hiding it behind your back. “Bird watching?”
The guard turns off the flashlight and tucks it into his belt. He slowly walks to you. 
“If you're doing something illegal, Miss, you're in big trouble.”
Well, this is fantastic. Of course it would be you that gets caught. 
The guard is getting closer. Your grip is sweaty. He peers over your shoulder. You let go of the hook, praying to every spirit out there that Hood is as good as everyone says he is. 
The guard looks around and scratches his head. You shrug, heart in your throat. 
“See?” you say. “Bird watching.”
He frowns at you. “I've got my eye on you.”
“And I commend you for that.” 
“Are you sassing me?” 
Are you? You might be. You've been spending too much time with Hood. 
Hood! You turn and look out the window. You don't see any red goo below, but it's also cold and foggy. Shit. You hurry to the elevators. 
“Okay, happy holidays, bye!”
The elevator doors open. You press twelve and close the door before the guard can consider getting on with you and shooting you a hairy eyeball all the way down. 
You hurry out and run down to Emerson's office. The door has been left ajar, which is good, right?
Bang!
You throw yourself against the wall. Shit. Maybe not. 
Ugh, you told Hood no shooting! Son of a bitch. 
“We're doing this tonight!” That's Emerson's voice. “I don't care if I have to shoot my way out.” 
Shoot? Oh no.
You carefully peek through the crack. Hood is standing with his hands behind his head. His beard has blood in it. Emerson is in front of him, gun to his head. 
Hood catches your eye. He gives you the tiniest head shake. You swallow. 
You can't just leave him there. 
Okay. Think. Emerson's back is to you. You can't see Matt, but you figure he's far enough away to not immediately shoot you. Hopefully. 
Anyway, what's your other option? The feisty relic upstairs? You can't risk any civilians getting hurt. 
Technically you're also a civilian but not tonight. Tonight you might as well be Batman. 
You slowly pull the door open further. You sneak in, then hide behind the secretary's desk.
“Is it done?” Emerson snaps.
That's when you see Matt in the corner on a laptop. 
“It takes time,” Matt says, obviously stressed too. 
“Well, hurry up!” Emerson looks at Hood. “Then we'll dispose of Santa here.”
Hood shrugs. “You can certainly try. Many have. ‘M still here.”
“Lots of bravado for a man in a costume,” Emerson sneers. “What are you, police?”
Hood groans. “As fucking if! I'm not a cop.” 
He hums. “Perhaps not. Otherwise this place would be crawling with them already. But you're alone.”
“How d'you know I'm alone?” Hood asks. 
You're glad he's calm because you're feeling the beginnings of another panic attack. But you can't panic, not now. The adrenaline pulsing through you is the only thing keeping you from going catatonic. 
You have no weapon, no plan. How the hell are you supposed to help Hood?
“You're bluffing,” Emerson says. 
“He has a girlfriend,” Matt says. “Some IT girl. She might come looking for him.”
“Then we'll take care of her too.”
Matt looks uncomfortable but he doesn't say anything. Hood is still cool as a cucumber. 
“She won't look for me. We had a fight. I forgot to buy the candy she likes.”
Candy? Why would—oh!
On the secretary's desk is a glass bowl filled with mini candy canes. You wrap your hands around it. 
“She knows my favorite,” Hood says, locking eyes with you.
You throw the bowl with all your might. Emerson is too slow—Hood grabs the bowl one-handed and swings it, knocking the gun from Emerson's hand. The candy explodes into pieces. Hood swings again, this time into Emerson's head. The bowl cracks. Emerson crumples to the floor. 
“Are you o—”
Bang! Bang! Bang!
In a blink, Hood wraps one arm around your waist and yanks you to the floor, covering your body. You curl into him on instinct. 
“I got you, I got you,” he says, patting your shoulder. “You okay?”
You nod, words not coming right now. You squeeze his hand. Hood seems to understand and he scoots you both behind Emerson’s desk. Then he loads his gun and cocks it.
“Stay here,” he says, then fires six shots. 
“Goddamnit!” Matt yells across the room. “This wasn't the plan! You're not supposed to be here!”  
Hood laughs, which is absolutely terrifying. “Don't talk to me about ruined plans, buddy. I've been waiting all night for an excuse to shoot somebody. Please make my night.” 
Matt fires four more shots. 
“Fuck you, cop!” 
“What the fuck? Fuck you more! I'm not a fucking cop!”
“Maybe it's the way you stand,” you say, teeth chattering from anxiety. 
Hood squeezes your shoulder comfortingly. “I stand like a cop? Gross. I gotta work on that.” 
“You're somebody!” Matt yells. “You're not just some guy, Todd, don't lie to me. You and that chick from IT are in cahoots.”
You huff. “He knows your name but not mine?”
“I’d take it as a compliment.”
Matt fires again. Hood tucks you behind him. 
“He won’t kill anybody,” he says, with way too much confidence, in your opinion. 
“Oh, is that why he's peacefully shooting at us?”
“He's scared, sure. But he can’t kill. Trust me, I know. Hey, Matt!” 
“What?”
Hood stands up. Your eyes bug out of your head. 
“Hood!” you hiss. “Hood!”
He ignores you, of course. 
“You won’t hurt anyone,” Hood says. He starts walking toward Matt. “You're not a killer, Matt.”
And all this time you thought Hood was sort of sane. Nope. 
“I will shoot you!” Matt warns. 
“Aw. You wouldn't shoot Santy Claus, would you?” 
Matt pulls the trigger. You gasp. It clicks. The magazine is empty. 
Hood closes the distance between them and grabs the gun, then elbows Matt in the face. Matt sprawls onto the floor. 
“Yeah, I don't risk my life on human emotion,” Hood says, loud enough so you can hear. “People can be so unpredictable. I will take a chance on a gun that only fires seven rounds, though. For a guy in finance, you're not very good with numbers, Matty.” 
You sigh in relief, slumping against the desk. After tonight, you're retiring. 
“Y'okay over there?” Hood asks. 
“Yeah.”
It's quiet for a bit. Then Hood returns and offers you a hand to help you stand. You do so on shaky limbs. 
He's got a cut on his eyebrow and a bruise on his cheek. You frown. 
“I'm sorry I let go of the hook. I thought—”
“You let go of the hook?”
You stop. “Um. No?” 
Hood squints at you. “Choosing to forgive you for that.” 
“I knew you were inside the office!”
“Yeah, sure.” 
“I'm not the only one taking risks,” you say. “Matt still fired at you.”
“Eh.” Hood shrugs. “He’s a crap shot. And I counted the rounds. I maintain my point. Factually, he could not shoot me.”
“You could've told me the gun was empty,” you say. 
“I wanted you to think I was cool and brave.” 
You laugh. “I already think that.”
Hood looks at you for a moment, like he’s trying to see right down into your soul. Intense. You cross your arms.
“So, um, ready to ditch this party?” you ask. 
“With pleasure.”
“What about them?” you ask, pointing to Matt.
“I have backup arriving soon. Let's get your coat.” 
You get your things while Hood changes back into his usual garb. He meets you at the back exit, the one that leads to an alleyway, Santa suit gone. The party's winding down and most are getting into their cars. You're grateful no one stops to ask where you disappeared to. 
There's police outside, but they're not here for Emerson. It's Bill that's being questioned by Commissioner Gordon. You stop short at the sight. 
“Hood… what did you do?” 
“Hm? Oh! There might have been some discrepancies in Bill's finances and he might have committed fraud to pay off his gambling debts. All circumstantial, though.”
“Please don't tell me you framed my coworker because he's a jerk,” you say. 
“No, but I'm not above that, for the record. I recognized Bill from when I was casing the Iceberg Lounge. That's where he racked up all that debt.”
You nod slowly. “That's how you knew his name.”
“Yup. He was a nobody, so I didn't bother with him. Had I known he was such a menace at work, well…”
You grin. “It's okay. I appreciate it now.” 
Hood nods. The silence is awkward for a few seconds. 
“So—”
“You don't have to keep working here,” he says. “You can leave if you wanna.”
“Hood…”
He puts up a hand. “Hear me out. I have a contact at Wayne Enterprises. I can get you an interview. Hell, I can get you the job.”
“And what would I owe you?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. Think of it as a thank you for tonight. You didn't have to help me but you did.”
You open and close your mouth. “I don't… I don't know what to say.”
“Don't gotta say a thing,” Hood says quietly. “If anyone deserves a new year, it's you.”
“Oh.” Your throat feels tight suddenly. “Oh, Hood, that's really—that's nice of you.”
“It's been known to happen. Don't spread it around though.”
“But I don't want the job without interviewing!” you say. “I want to get it on my own.”
Hood nods. “Deal.”
You want to hug him but that seems like too much, even with all you’ve done tonight. So you take out a candy cane instead.
“I salvaged one from the bowl,” you say. “Merry Christmas, Hood.”
He takes it, tucking it into his pocket. “Merry Christmas. Need a ride?”
You shake your head. “I'm fine. See you around?”
“Maybe, maybe not. Stay safe, alright?”
“Oh, I will. Will you?”
He laughs. “No promises.” 
Then you blink and he's gone. You shove your hands into your coat pockets. 
In each pocket, there's a handful of Warheads. You smile.
606 notes · View notes
last-words-ofashootingstar · 11 months ago
Text
Allure
Part One:Sunshine
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❥MATZ x fem reader
Kim Hongjoong and Park Seonghwa. The most known and feared alphas of the new generation. It took two dozen elder alphas to subdue them and stick them in the world's most secluded prison- hidden away in the mountains. The prison that sweet little omega (Y/n)'s works at.
Knuckle Velvet (Part Two)
Smoke (Part Three)
➯a/n: i've always wanted to write a story i would like to see as a movie or show, and i very much enjoy supernatural and dark romance, so i made this ! it does get very dark so please read the warnings and take care of yourself first and foremost. i am very proud of this, i hope you enjoy 💕
✃ "Because you're... alluring."
✫彡wordcount: 9.3k
♫"Hey, you should leave that young thing alone, ain't no sunshine when she's gone, only darkness everyday." - Flower Face (original by Bill Withers) ♫ Allure Sountrack
(>ᴗ•)♡´・ᴗ・`♡genre: smut, YANDERE, a/b/o au
ಠ_ಠWARNING/content: DEAD DOVE I MURDERED THAT BIH
chapter specific: literally what have i done, not beta read(ironically), criminal MATZ, alpha MATZ/omega reader, forget everything you know about werewolves, so much world building, extremely yandere behavior, talk of attempted child murder, class division of werewolves, panic attacks, vulgar language, mind control, lots of scent stuff, unhealthy relationships, ptsd, flashbacks and nightmares, physical violence, manipulation of others dreams, supporting character death, forced soul bonding, forced marking, reader implied to have mental health issues, murder, gore, violence- all that good stuff. THIS IS NOT A NON CON FIC ALL EVENTUAL SMUT WILL BE CONSENSUAL.
⁂perm taglist: @stvrfir3 @tunaasan @marievllr-abg
⁂fic taglist: @potatomountain @spooo00oky
MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI
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˚➶ 。˚ PART ONE ˚➶ 。˚
You hate weekdays. That much is true for a lot of people. You like to think your reasoning is especially valid.
Every Monday through Friday like clockwork, 6:30AM you walk into the prison. That on its own wasn't so bad. You lived only ten minutes away; the gothic building looked over your village in tandem with the mountains. You could see it when the weather was clear, even from your bedroom on the edge of town. You were no longer afraid of it like when you were a child.
You are, however, afraid of the newest prisoners.
New arrivals didn't usually rock you. This is the only prison in the country fit to hold lycans, after all. They all got transferred here eventually. From beta's who were just stealing to eat, to alphas who used their powers on humans, to those who believed in the old ways and fed on humans.
You had to interact with them all face to face.
You weren't excited for that particular aspect of your job this week.
You made your way through the double doors and greeted the security guard, your friend Hyolyn, as you went through the metal detector. It went off on account of the scent blocker that was embedded in your neck. She chuckled and switched it off so it stopped its incessant beeping.
"Don't laugh at me!" You threw a smile her way as you got your small purse from the plastic bucket she slid towards you. She doesn't bother to check your bag. She knows you well enough to know you wouldn't bring in any "fuck shit", as she would say. "You alpha's don't have to worry about accidentally spewing scent everywhere."
"Thank goodness for that, this place would stink to high heaven." Her unintentional reference to the new arrivals makes the air turn stiff. She could tell you were on edge immediately. "They aren't all that scary," she lays a comforting hand to your shoulder as you fiddle with the long strap on your crossbody bag.
"I heard one of them killed Alpha Greene... you think that's true? That guy was huge, I saw him at The Thing last year, I almost peed myself cause he looked at me-" You stop your own rambling, taking a deep breath and letting it out as a shaking sigh. "I don't want to go in there. Honestly, why can't we install a laundry chute or something, fuck."
"I'll follow you up, I c-"
"No, no, it's visiting day. You need to be down here. You know Chungha? Her daughter is visiting today. Don't want you to miss her." You offer a sad, tight lipped smile, but that doesn't trick her instincts to protect her weaker pack member. She knows you too well to be tricked.
"You just scream and I'll be there. Either of those cocky fucks lift a pinky in your direction and I'll gut them. They don't deserve to see a trial anyway."
A small exhale in the form of a chuckle lightens her protective instincts, she can tell you feel more at ease with her promise to be right there at the slightest hint of trouble.
"See you, Hyolyn."
"Later, babes."
You wave your fingers with a smile as the elevator doors slides shut. As soon as they clunk together, you let it fall and crouch with your head in your hands, taking in deep and slow breaths as you try and force all of the rumors you've heard about the two newest inmates away from your head.
The older alpha of the duo was the first born in this generation. They're always powerful. But he was born to two bloodthirsty rouges. Born in sin and blood lust.
The younger alpha was born just some months after, to an arranged marriage that was purposefully formed to make powerful children. They surely regret that now. Some say the man has the strongest, sharpest claws since the first lycan in Talbot Castle.
When the elevator dings, you're already upright and have that strong facade on that you put on when you're clocked in.
˚➶ 。˚
You start with the familiar. "Hey, Chungha," you tap on the silver bars of her cell, "hand 'em over." She smiles as she stands, stripping the sheets from her cot and holding them through the bars for you. "Thank you," you draw on with a tug on your lips that matches hers.
"Yunnie in town?"
"Mhm," you hum as you fold the blanket before dropping it in the large basket on wheels, "she came over for stew, I made sure to feed her good and well, don't worry."
You know it was probably problematic, but you couldn't help it. Chungha came here three years ago on a charge for battery, and over those three years you became sort of friends with her.
The battered in her case was her grandfather. When her five year old daughter, Jiyun, started to show signs of being an omega- he left her in the snow to wither away. She managed to survive until her mother came home, and said mother was furious.
She was lucky she didn't charged with attempted manslaughter.
"She said she'll be here first thing."
"Thank you," she had a heavy pull on her voice. You don't have the emotional connection to other wolves like an alpha or beta did. But it was clear to anyone she was being sincere. "You're a good woman."
"Don't mention it, Yunnie is good company. Oh," you start to wheel the basket away when you remember something. You reach into the purse that you had set on the handles. "She made this at art class, asked me to give it to you so it didn't have to wait in processing."
It was a small, cruelly made ceramic bowl in the vague shape of a heart. It was clearly made by an eight year old, but made with love.
"I owe you."
"Just keep working on that parol work." You said lightly and blew a kiss as you moved to the next cell.
    The rest of your work nearly cleared your mind as you went from cell to cell, floor to floor. Omega's were on the second floor. Beta's on the third. Alphas on the fourth. High security on the fifth.
     It's on the fourth level that you begin to feel those nerves that you had just worked away. The scent was becoming stronger. They didn't put them on blockers? Maybe they didn't think it would be worth it. Everyone knew that they were the worst of the worst, they didn't even try to hide it. They would undoubtedly be put to death. Why waste two perfectly good, expensive, blockers?
     The basket of used sheets is nearly full, accumulating into a weight that makes you put your back into it as you push it into the elevator.
    Your index finger reaches out, and before you can stop yourself you've pressed the button to the fifth floor.
       You blank out until the door opens again. Your teeth are eternally grateful for the gum between them so they don't grind themselves into dust. The mint flavor does little to calm your nerves.
     The only thing that makes you come back to your own head is Changbin. He's a big, buff beta with a gun full of silver bullets on his work belt. He won't let them hurt you. His smile washes away a lot of the nerves.
    But the growl that rumbles against the walls makes them return ten, one hundred, one thousand fold. You don't dare say a word. A deer in headlights until Changbin places his hand on the small of your back. "Go on, don't give them the satisfaction of scaring you. They aren't going nowhere no time soon. Take a look."
     He motions you deeper into the hall, florescent lights buzzing above you, matching the jittering feeling in the deepest pit of your stomach. It smells too strong. Too much. You're about to fall to your knees from the weight and you haven't even come face to face with the near feral criminals.
    Changbin opens the doors at the end of the hall.
     They've definitely gone all out to keep them in place. Two large cages placed next to each other in the middle of the enormous room. Made of pure silver and wrapped in wolfsbane. The unpleasant smell of the plant makes your nose twitch. A ring of blood ash surrounds it. Only omegas can pass through blood ash, and now you start to realize why they sent you.
    You want to curse the warden, but the second you open your mouth, a loud cackle sounds out from one of the cages.
     Changbin's hand twitches at the gun attached to his side.
    "Oh wow," the smaller alpha chuckles, eyes closed, head tilted back, as he sniffs the air. "I didn't expect that." More manic giggles slip past his lips.
    You haven't even looked up to see them and you want to cave in on yourself.
    "What are you rambling about, huh?" The guard next to you shouts, making you flinch instinctively.
     "That sweet... sweet, smell," he moans. You can hear him shuffling. "From a peppy little spit fuck omega."
   You gasp abashedly, and now two laughs ring out. You want to wonder how they can smell you. Your insurance provides the best scent blocker in the country. But you're too scared to breathe, let alone think.
      "Shut up," Changbin groans, he can feel you tense next to him, "don't piss me off, Kim."
    "Awe," a new, rumbling voice makes you cower the second it reaches your ears, "this your mate? Hm, no... you wouldn't bring your mate here. You're not an idiot. Then, say... omega." You don't make a move to look when he addresses you, you stay looking at Changbins grip on his gun, silently.
     "Omega, come!" Your feet move for you, and that manic laugh almost makes you wet yourself as you realize that your wolf is making you move toward them without your consent. You stop just outside of the blood ash, where you know you're safe.
     "Changb-"
     "No. I'm the one you're speaking to."
   Changbin seems to be weighing his options, eyeing the men as they eye you.
    "Why are you here? You a shrink?"
    You shake your head.
   "You a lawyer?"
    Again.
   "She works here, dumbass, look at her scrubs," the younger speaks, and you nod subconsciously, to which he giggles, "what can we do for a pretty little thing like you?"
    When you refuse to speak, the guard does it for you. "She's here for your sheets today. Get used to her."
     You hated that this was your job, but it was easy and accessible, and available for omegas. Werewolves are clean freaks. Every day you had a different cleaning task, but you didn't complain. Not until right now- you wanted to rip out the throat of whoever's idea it was to not shoot these criminals on sight.
     "Ah," he hums, and you can feel his eyes raking your body. You can feel both of their eyes. "Not too bad of a sight to get used to. Huh, Hwa?"
     "Mh, that's right... can't wait to get my hands on her."
Your head snaps back to Changbin.
"Awn, she thinks he's gonna help her!" The high pitched giggles bounce around in your head. "Oh, little omega~"
The saccharine coo finally pulls your eyes to the men in the cages.
If you thought you knew what fear was before this moment, you were wrong.
The two strongest criminals in the country, staring you down like a piece of meat. It doesn't matter that they are the ones in cages of silver and wolfsbane. You are the one who feels cornered.
You can immediately feel out their dynamics. The taller one is the older one, quiet and still in his cage as he sits in the center. Shaggy, shining hair framing his face and neck like an elegant piece of lace over a brides face. He has a sleeve of tattoos on one forearm, a thick tattoo on his neck. Eyes glowing a deep, blood red, as he tries to read your entire story with only a look in your direction.
The giggling one is less intimidating, only by a hair. Chemically lightened locks pushed back messily, letting his entrancing features shine in the light from the narrow windows high on the walls. He has tattoos as well, but they seem few and far between. His eyes are human for a moment before they meet yours. Instantaneously, they flick black.
The knot drops from your throat and you let out a small, pathetic, squeak.
Changbin breaks your staring contest with the alpha, shouting orders at them. "Take the sheets off your cot and set them outside of your cage. Do not attempt to touch her, I will shoot you."
    Neither criminal makes a move to follow his orders, both simply staring at you.
A low growl is emitted when the older alpha finally snaps up, tearing the sheet off the sorry excuse for a bed in one fell swoop. The younger follows his lead, shoving their sheets through the bars that are wrapped in the poisonous flower.
You look to the guard, and he nods, "go." With his finger twitching at the gun ready to pull it, you jump over the dark red ashes and into the wolves den, snatching the sheets up as quick as possible and dashing away, out the door before they even get a chance to lock in your scent up close.
The giggles follow you all the way to the elevator and ring in your head even as the thick metal thunks shut.
As you take a deep breath, you notice the sheets are gripped to your chest, your claws drawn subconsciously in your panic and ripping them up. "Shit!" You let out a curse and shove them into the bottom of the basket so you don't have to smell it as closely on the long ride to the basement.
˚➶ 。˚
The lingering wafts of your fresh scent are long gone, nothing to distract the alpha's from their caged boredom and bubbling rage over being caught. "I'll have that runts heart in my hands by the end of the month." Hongjoong groaned, to no one in particular- he knew Seonghwa was too deep in thought from their recent revelations. "Fucking back stabbers. They're more pathetic than a bitch in heat trying to get off with a dildo."
The thought hit his mind as soon as the words left his lips.
The thought of you, legs spread with your hand dipped low, trying to satisfy your primal urges and-
"Stop that." Seonghwa growls, kicking the bars of their shared 'wall'.
"Settle down!"
"Oh, like you weren't thinking it!" Hongjoong rolls his eyes, a scowl on his face as he crosses his arms. "Your ruts coming and you don't want your-"
"I said stop," he nearly roars, grabbing Hongjoong's state issued orange top and ripping it with his claws as he pulls him forward.
"I know you want her because I want her too." He whispers, smirking at the telltale signs of desire and bloodlust in his mates eyes. Red swirling around the brown of his human eyes. "Imagine how good she'll smell when we take out that stupid blocker. We'll be drowning in her scent." He moans, grabbing his wrist, "I get the honors, my claws are sharper, anyways," he draws them quickly, digging them into his skin as if to prove a point.
"I can use my teeth, mark h-"
"Oh, will you two stop? Love of God..." The guard in the large room slaps his book down on the rickety table. "What is there possibly for you to be fighting about? You're about to be executed, you know that right? No jury in the world will let you walk, especially the human half."
Their frustrations turn to the man, letting each other go. "Ah, you think so?" The older croons, dragging his index over his bleeding wrist and bringing it to his lips, sucking it clean before he continues. "We won't be around these parts long enough to meet the jury."
"What do you mean by that?"
Hongjoong covers his mouth when a laugh slips past. Seonghwa simply smirks as he sits cross legged, eyes locked with the guard as he licks his wound.
"What do you mean by that?!"
The blonde man breaks out in a fit of laughter. The brunette simply flashes his bloody canines in a twisted smile.
˚➶ 。˚
You spent the whole time doing your daily tasks trying to hype yourself up to go back up to the fifth floor.
You usually went top down, four to one. Nobody has ever been on five before.
You go bottom up today, starting at Chungha with a full basket of freshly washed sheets. She prattles on about her visit with Jiyun, and how she's so thankful for you.
You choose that as your focus point for the rest of the work day, even as you press the button to the fifth floor.
You think back to the first time you spoke to Chungha, she was a crying mess, unable to sense that you were an omega like herself. She cried and cried and cried as you held her hand through the bars of temporary holding. She cried for her daughter, for cursing her with the shame of being the weakest link of any pack. When she looked up and saw your eyes, barely glowing, she cried more.
She apologized profusely, but you reassured her that her words were true, and you hadn't been offended. You told her that, in fact, she was the first to ever share your feelings of what being an omega really meant. It meant loneliness beside anyone but other omegas. Fake relationships born with people who only stuck around because of their primal instincts to either prey on you or protect you. It meant facing the fact that you were outcasts from both of the world's dominant societies. Outcasted from humans for being a werewolf. Outcasted from werewolves for being weak. So weak, in fact, that blood ash didn't even think of you as a wolf.
That night, you drove four hours to the next village over and looked after her daughter until her aunt had room. You remember the first thing the girl said to you. She didn't speak that whole day, surely in shock from the past few days events. But when you tucked her into the motel bed, she spoke as soft as a ghost, "sing me a song?"
You hum it to yourself now, the soft sound reverberating through the metal around you until the door opened.
You wheel the basket with you this time, like it will protect you as you approach the open doors, already feeling the unwavering gaze of the criminals.
"Hey, dolly~" Hongjoong, you had learned when you took a peek into their files, purred your way.
You didn't give him the satisfaction of responding verbally, but he saw the goosebumps on your arm as you reached into the basket, stretching on your tip toes to get the last two sheets.
"You never shut up do you, Kim?" The guard sighed with an exhausted tone, making you smile as you slowly made your way to the ring of red dust.
The throaty rumble from Seonghwa, the older, taller wolf, makes that smile drop to the depths of Hell.
The new guard seems to notice your anxiety, eyeing you up- in a much less predatory manner than the caged men. "Go on, 'mega. I'm watching them."
A bang on the metal bars makes you glue your foot right back where it came from. It's the blonde one, "you shut the fuck up!"
"No, you shut the fuck up! I'm the one with the silver bullets!"
All of the yelling is making you tremble, Hongjoong and the guard going back and forth. "She isn't your omega!"
"She ain't yours!"
Seonghwa watches with a sinister smile as you back away from the ash and the guard, calling to you quietly, "hey."
The soft tone of his voice makes you raise your eyes, but not your head. His eyes don't hold that threatening and dominating red from before. They're a soft brown color that reminds you of a beautiful dark oak in the morning sunshine. "What's your name?"
"(Y/n)..." your tongue moves without your consent, fresh blankets held to your work scrubs.
You desperately want the guard to notice this trance you're in, and grab you out of it. You want to do it yourself, but you can't do anything but admire the beauty of the criminal who has you hypnotized.
"You're a pretty omega, y'know? What color is your wolf?"
"Black..." It's a slur off your lips, barely registering in his sharply tuned ears over the yelling that continues to fill the room.
"Mine too. What's her name? His is Akma."
"Solis."
"Very pretty. Is she fast?"
"Yes."
"Does she want an alpha? A mate?"
"Yes."
The guard finally notices your raised gaze, affixed to the infamous, unlawful, man. He puts his gun back in the holster quickly before gripping your shoulder and forcing you to turn around. "You idiot, didn't anyone ever tell you not to look a first born in the eyes?"
"Sorry. I'm sorry." No one had ever told you that, actually.
Both of the criminals share a smirk as the man from your pack attempts to calm you. It wasn't hard for them to figure out you were an alpha-less village. They could smell every single wolf in five miles, and not a single stench from a wolf even nearly as strong as them.
There was, however, you. A honeyed smell that filled their guts with the primal need to rip out the eyes of anyone who dared look at you.
The guard couldn't be more wrong. You are their omega. You just don't know yet.
"Go and give these fucks their sheets, then get the hell out of here." The man shoved you, making you jump clumsily over the ash so you didn't break the seal.
He yells at them to back up, and they do so without a fight.
You shove them both in at the same time before running back out quickly, grabbing the empty basket and dragging it with you, the sound of the wheels scraping with the force of your panic echoing in the near empty room.
"You guys get off on scaring defenseless girls?" The guard scoffs, not expecting an answer as he drags the chair out of the room and slams the doors behind him.
Seonghwa lets his facade fall the second the door shuts, falling to his knees and grappling at the sheet like he's a starving man with the last piece of food on Earth. Hongjoong watches for a moment in confusion until the scent catches up with his weaker nose. Then he's quickly falling in the same position.
"It worked, the guard was so easy to distract," Hongjoong chuckles, face buried into the sheet that smells vaguely like you from your time spent holding it. "What did you learn?"
"(Y/n), a black wolf named Solis," he pauses, eyes rolled back as he takes a deep breath. They're red when they re-open. "No mate. It's really her."
"You think we should have told her?" Hongjoong inquires, looking through the bars.
He's never seen Seonghwa on his knees for anyone but him or the moon.
"No," he shakes his head, turning to lock eyes with him. "She'll figure it out when I mark her."
"When I mark her."
He rolls his eyes at his defiant nature, knowing full well he won't disobey his orders no matter how badly he wants to do something.
In a dog eat dog world, the strongest was the most powerful. Unlike their human neighbors, werewolves don't decide political or social standing by money or family name. They decide based on who comes out on top in a battle of the body and of the wits.
It had been determined years ago, when they were just young rebellious pups, that Seonghwa was the alpha. A fight in the woods under the moon had set it in stone between the two.
He could have ripped Hongjoongs throat out right then and there, but now, 13 years later in the present; they're bonded for life.
Sometimes he still sees Hongjoong as that 12 year old boy under his teeth, still snapping and growling even as he bled out with tears in his dark eyes, fighting to survive purely out of spite.
"You can mark her first," Seonghwa speaks quickly, turning his back as he puts the sweet smelling sheet on his cot.
He smiles at the man, a quiet thanks spoken through their bonded souls.
˚➶ 。˚
Tuesday, they don't see you until much later in the day, but they bask in the sight of you opening the door with a broom and tray in hand, smiling at Changbin. You'll be here for a while, it's a big room.
"Hey, Binnie," you whisper to the beta, and Seonghwa has to bite his tongue.
Binnie? Ugh.
Hongjoong isn't so polite, "hey, Dolly! We don't get a hello?" You barely peek at him, eyes flicked from him right back to the floor in a millisecond. He knows you noticed his pout when he hears the smallest 'hello' tremble by your lips.
You start in the corner, headphones attached to your walkman with your favorite song on repeat to try and soothe yourself. Bill Withers calming voice blocks out every word of the teasing alphas, but you can still feel them mocking you and picking at you.
You don't dare sweep anywhere near the blood ash on the floor. One less precaution in place was one more thing to worry about.
"Bye, Binnie."
He does growl that time, eyes narrowed on your back until the door shuts.
˚➶ 。˚
Wednesday, you have a frown on your face. "Three days in a row?" The guard Hongjoong got in a yelling match with, Merle, greets you as you come into the cavernous room, "bad schedule huh?"
"No kidding," you sigh, feet slightly hesitant to pass the dust border, "I'm here to fix your shirt. It's state property." You don't look at them, but they know who you're referring to.
They act like they don't, though. Just to hear more of your voice. To make you wriggle under their attention. "Sorry? What do you mean?"
You look and point to Hongjoong, his collar ripped from Seonghwas grasp. "State property."
"Ah, of course." He grins like a jackal, pulling it over his head and sticking his hand out of the bars just in the slightest. "On one condition."
You pout, eyes on the shirt which is just far enough away that you'd have to step closer. And it's the cutest fucking thing they've ever seen.
You look back up at him, silently asking. "Sit and talk with us. The guards here are no fun!" His laugh makes you jump back further, he sounds like a mad pirate.
You look over to Merle, who just shrugs, "just get it over with so these guys will shut up. They're only talkative around you, they need an audience for their antics."
"We won't bite," Seonghwa chuckles with his teeth exposed, making you shiver.
"Fine, give it here." You take a single step forward, palm out infront of the blonde.
When you grab it and go to race away like always, his claws wrapping all the way around your wrist stops you, sharp edges threatening to slice your skin down to the bone. You scream your head off, silenced when Seonghwa coos softly, "sit with us, and talk."
"Let me go..." you plead, eyes frantically flicking to Merle, whose gun is drawn to Hongjoongs head from the border of the ash, waiting for him to take one more wrong move so he can rid the world of one of its greatest criminals.
"Sit, omega." You do so, slowly lowering to the floor with your wrist and life still in Hongjoongs hand. "You have your sewing kit with you, I can hear the buttons hitting the needle. So sit, stay, and talk while you fix it."
Once again, they're the ones caged in. But you're the one who's stuck.
     One look to Merle tells you he probably wouldn't help you even if he could get to you. He lowers his gun as your tailbone hits the concrete floor.
     Your thin work scrubs do little to fight the cold of the old flooring, one reason of many that you shake as you reach into your purse and get the small tin box.
     Hongjoong releases your wrist and sits mirrored to you, hands perched on the bars in the gaps of the purple vine flower wrapped on them. Seonghwa comes to the corner of his side of the split cage and breathes in deeply through his nose, eyes locked in on your every movement. "So you're essentially the errand lady? Maid?"
      "Yes..." You murmur under your breath as your fingers work to thread the needle, slowly backing away until you're out of reach, but still stuck in the blood ash with no one to rescue should the men infront of you decide to rip their cages open. You only stop backing away when you hear a warning growl.
     You don't care to see which it came from, you just want to do this as quickly as possible and get far, far, away. They could have chose anyone to focus their annoying efforts on. Changbin, Merle, the warden. But no, just your luck.
      "You live in the village, right? Were you born here?" Seonghwa continues to do the talking as you carefully fix the shirt.
      "Yes. And no."
     A small hum from the one in front of you is a sign they want you to continue. "I was born to an overpopulated pack. They kicked me out when I turned eighteen. Our old alpha took me in." The hitch in your voice is a clear sign that it's a sore topic. And Hongjoong continues to poke the wound.
      "How did they find you?"
       "Woods."
       "Woods?"
     You can't help the small growl of frustration, lip curling as you look up. "Woods."
     The reaction is one you wouldn't have expected from a normal person, but then- they aren't normal.
     They laugh, cooing over your gesture of anger. Compared to them, you seem like a teacup puppy. "My, my," the brunette chuckles breathily, "is that Solis coming to play?"
     "At least she can," you snap, sent to the back of your own head as your wolf tries to defend you, "she isn't a caged mutt."
    Hongjoong breaks out into a manic fit of laughter, while his paramour is the opposite: his eyes flick red before your own, sharp teeth on display in a show of dominance over your smaller ones that are subconsciously bared at him. "Watch it, omega." He spits his words with venom, "I won't be so nice when I get out of here."
     You rip the extra thread with your claw, kicking the shirt across the floor so it sits at the bottom bar of Hongjoongs cage. His chest still wracks with laughter, watching as you sit up in a low squat so you're still level with the alpha.
      It's clear that you aren't currently you. Your wolf has control of your mouth and body, crouched in a position akin to that of a dog ready to pounce as you hiss your words, "I'm going to laugh in your face as you hang."
     "Aw, is that how dear old alpha died?"
     "Cut it out!" Merle screams disinterested, eyes glued to his flimsy magazine.
      "I heard he got gutted~" Hongjoong giggles, watching the color flicking in your eyes.
     "I'll gut you!" Your threat only makes him laugh more.
      "(Y/n)!" The voice of Hylyon breaks your wolf away from you immediately, falling to your bottom and crawling to the sound unwittingly. "You fucking idiot, Merle!" 
     She reaches over the blood ash and pulls you over the ring, letting you collapse into her as she drags you away, still throwing profanities at the incompetent guard. Hongjoong is laughing loudly. Seonghwa yelling at you to come back. The elevator cuts of his roar, the last thing you see through your blurry vision is his fist making a dent in the silver cage.
You fall onto the floor of the metal box. Thoughts flood your head too quickly for you to swim though them, making you drown and try to escape by releasing the pain with tears. You don't even notice when your friend turns her key in the elevator to make it stop in its tracks, you only see her when she sits right infront of you.
"Babes, calm down, I've got you," she reaches out slowly and places a hand on your leg, slowly rubbing her thumb over your knee.
"I can't go back up there... they're too strong, they make me feel like I'm suffocating," you splutter through gasps, "I'm too weak!"
"Hey, hey, you're spiraling!" She opens her arms and pulls you into her, letting you sob into her uniform. "In and out, girl," she holds the back of your neck securely, almost instantaneously making you calm. "I got you... I got you..."
You sit there for a good while, crying into her shoulder as you sort through your wracked brains.
Your alpha was gutted. Right in front of you. Because of you.
Unbeknownst to you, their tuned ears are still listening in, the elevator stuck within their ear shot as you begin mumbling your favorite song to yourself through tears.
˚➶ 。˚
The sound of claws slicing through the skin on your back rings in your ears. Though, you can't feel it. Your eyes are locked in on your own claws, dug into the hardwood floor of your humble home to keep yourself from being dragged.
     You've been here a million times before.
     Blood pooling off of your body and onto the frigid surface below you. Teeth sharp and bared to the moon though the open window, begging that she might let you survive. Eyes aglow with your instincts as your wolf tries with every fiber of her being to turn, but she knows it's no use.
     The distorted voice above you drips with mocking venom, a chuckle as its owner realizes you can't even fight back like other wolves might: by letting your wolf fully transform.
     The wind blows through your curtains, washes your body in the artic breeze. The snowflakes on your windowsill are so delicate, all of their features fade into a blurry mush as they make contact. They melt, dripping down your wall.
     This time it's different.
      You're turned over, gaping wounds slammed into the floor as always, but when you look up to your aggressor it's different.
      His eyes aren't the yellow of a rouge, but the red of an alpha. His hair isn't that unruly blonde curl that you pulled at frantically, that you can still feel on your finger tips when your hands are unoccupied. It's long, shining, soft looking dark locks.
       You fall through the floor into another time, another place.
     Face first into the snow: your hands, shaking with adrenaline, do little to catch you.
       You don't remember this.
       This isn't right.
       This isn't your nightmare.
       You find yourself in a clearing in a forrest, the densely packed trees creating a bubble of nature around you. "(Y/n)?"
      You whip around, coming face to face with an unfamiliar man. Almost face to face. If he weren't floating a few feet in the air.
     His legs are crossed under him, hands facing palms up on his knees.
      "Don't worry. You're only dreaming." He speaks calmly as he floats around you in a circle, like a shark examining its potential prey.
     You follow him with your feral gaze, that familiar feeling of an adrenaline crash quickly approaching.
You know you're only dreaming. You've had that last dream more times than you can count in the past three years. It always plays the same. But not this time. You're only slightly thankful that you don't have to witness your alphas death again, but the gratefulness is overshadowed by confusion.
"Are you an angel?" You whisper, watching the man's soft and rounded features as he comes to a stop in the air in front of you and gracefully lowers to his feet.
"I can be, if that's what you want me to be. I'm only here to watch your dreams, fight off the nightmares."
"Why?" You feel distant from your body, watching powerlessly as your hand takes his, letting him lead you out of the clearing and into the darkness of the woods.
It disappears around you, warping into a spring day on a familiar path.
"A favor for a friend."
With the snow gone, you're in your spot, your old towel on the dewy grass with a book laid atop of it and the soil beneath your feet as you approach.
"Enjoy."
The hand vanishes from your own, leaving you alone on the side of the path. You look for him. But he's just an eidolon, watching you from the sky where you can't see him.
You warily take a seat and pick up the book.
˚➶ 。˚
They don't see you again through the week. And when the next Monday comes by, their sheets are removed while they're in the showers.
Hongjoong sighs from his place on the floor, for the tenth time in the past half hour.
"Hong-"
"I miss our omega!" He whines, cutting him off.
Seonghwa stands from his cot, slowly lowering to the floor next to their shared bars. He lays flat on his back, mirroring Hongjoong as he tilts his head to look at him. "Soon." Is the only word he utters.
He reaches through the silver bars, ignoring the sting as the fresh wolfsbane brushes his wrist, and takes his hand.
The both of them look up at the ceiling through the bars of their enclosure.
Your scent is long gone from the room, and their noses can barely pick up on it through the rest of the village and prison.
"I want out of here," Hongjoong whispers, so lowly that the guard can't hear him from outside of the door, "when are they coming? Your bond with them is stronger, I can barely feel them..."
"Soon." He repeats, "very soon, Joong."
˚➶ 。˚
Tuesday you manage to talk your coworker into sweeping the top floor, and you rejoice in the freedom of not being under the alpha's gazes. You've worked out a good schedule to completely avoid seeing them, and it's made your job feel like it's back to normal.
You can still smell their power wafting through the AC, but it's bearable. You distract yourself in your free time by making excuses to be on the second floor with Chungha and the other omegas.
Today, that excuse is 'omegas need physical outlets too', and the warden let you bring up buckets and brushes so you could all scrub the base boards.
"Oh, I've got one!" The omega to your left speaks, lifting his brush in the air in a eureka moment, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre or... Halloween?"
Chungha scoffs with a smile as she scrubs away to your right, "are we including sequels? There's like a billion!"
"No, stand alone original," Beomhan goes back to scrubbing as he continues, "both of them are classics but which one is a better classic?"
"Halloween is the classic slasher, Texas Chainsaw is like psychological horror," you chime in as you dip your brush into the bucket, sitting on your calves as you take a breather. "I think it's not fair to compare them... but Texas Chainsaw, definitely."
They laugh along with you, and Chungha shakes her head, "Halloween has more rewatchablity. You don't want to see Sally go through that more than once, but Laurie Strode fights harder and it's more like, yeah I'll watch her kick ass again."
"Cinematography in both is so beaut-"
The lights above you flicker before they shut down completely. People start muttering their concerns, quite a few of them looking your way. "Don't worry!" You hop up and get your keys from your pocket as you make your way to the locked stairwell. "I'll go and see what's going on, keep scrub-"
A loud siren echoes in the brick walls, shocking you all to cover your ears.
Everyone looks to you for answers, and you don't have any as your brain starts throwing theory after theory at you.
"It's okay, go back to your cells! Shut them behind you!"
They listened, however grumpy about it. The cell doors locked automatically when they were closed.
"Hey, what's going on?" Chungha asked over the clanging of the cell doors. The two of you, along with Beomhan, were the only ones left after a moment.
"Go back to your cell, Beomhan, hurry."
"No, what's happening?"
     The sirens cut off and leave you in a pregnant pause for a moment as you simply try to calm yourself.
A deafening scream ricochets through the air vent next to you, scaring you into their arms as you all stare at it.
Usually, the air flow covered the echoes throughout the floors. But with no power, you could hear everything- albeit muffled.
Yells and shouts. Gunshots. Growls. Unidentifiable chaos. And above all, your ears tuned in on a rumbling, calm voice through it all.
"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone... It's not warm when she's away..."
Your eyes widen as theres a bang at the stairwell door. "Go, go!" You grab each of their wrists, dragging them into Chungha's cell. You slam it behind you and let down the sheet she has over it, backing away and staring at it as you hear the door hit the wall behind it with the force it's slammed open.
"(Y/n), what the hells happening?!"
     You slap your hand over his mouth and bring a finger to your lips. The other omegas on the floor are all making a ruckus, and you can only hope that it will confuse that unfortunately familiar voice so he can't find you.
˚➶ 。˚
The beta in the large room ignores Hongjoong as he continuously asks after 'the pretty omega'.
He just sweeps and sweeps, finally understanding why you hate coming up here. He has his back turned to the cage, and consequently, to the windows.
High on the tall walls, the narrow glass is opened from the outside. Seonghwa smirks, and gestures his head to it. Hongjoongs gaze follows, and he has to slap a hand over his mouth so he doesn't laugh.
A skinny figure is sliding its way in through the window sideways.
He drops to the floor as silent as a mouse, landing on his knees and grinning wildly up at his alphas.
Hongjoong throws his head back in preemptive relief, while Seonghwa is watching with a similarly wide smile as the man walks straight through the blood ash, breaking the circle with the tip of his shoe.
The worker still has his back turned as the lock on Seonghwas cage is picked with a long claw. He doesn't even know what's happening as the next thing he knows, he's thrown across the floor.
      Blood ash knocks up around him, coughs wracking his body as he looks up to his assailant.
      Park Seonghwa, newly freed from his cage, looks down at the worker with his eyes glowing red.
     "Now usually..." He begins, crouching to be face to face with him, "I'd go through this whole place just for the fuck of it and cause some beautiful chaos. But I'm looking for someone."
     "(Y/n)?" He stutters out, backing away only to knock into Hongjoongs legs. Stuck between the two criminals, he chooses his own head over yours. "The second floor! Sh-she's on the second floor!"
     "Let's go get our omega, Joong."
      Nonchalantly, Hongjoong draws his claws and slices the neck of the worker. He hops over the gurgling body and follows his mate with an ecstatic giggle.
      He wraps his arm around the skinny man's shoulder, "Wooyoung! Our savior~" He ruffles his hair and laughs as he groans.
     "You guys know I've got your back. Seonghwa told me about your new omega, you seem excited," he mimics the alphas smile as the eldest of the trio opens the doors.
     The guard on duty, who happens to be Merle, looks back with wide eyes.
"Yes, oh yes!" His eyes roll to the back of his head, touching the stitches you made on his shirt. "Oh, you'll love her, she's a feisty omega just like you."
He makes a run for the fire alarm at the end of the hall, but Seonghwa is faster. The beta is tackled to the floor.
"I'm glad you both will have a buffer, tired of you always at each other's throats during ruts," Wooyoung laughs, looking down at the guard as they pass.
Seonghwa had simply torn out his throat with his bare hand and made his way to the elevator, holding it open with an impatient glare.
The door closes behind them and the only sound is Seonghwa's heavy breathing.
"You're real eager, huh?" The omega breaks the silence, "San should be coming in any second to block the main door. No one will get past him. The rest are in the village, just as we planned."
"Good, she'll need somewhere to rest before we take off....Fucking idiots, thinking they can cage us." He groans, eyes flicking to the number above the doors as it dings.
       3? "Fuck."
     The door opens and the woman on the other side takes a moment, nearly walking in before she notices the crimson liquid dripping from Segonhwa's hand.
      She makes it halfway through the hall before Hongjoong pounces on her, fighting her effortlessly as if she's a rag doll. The guards run to try and save her, but it's too late for the unfortunate woman, and they just signed their own death certificate as well.
       Seonghwa and Wooyoung make quick work of them, but their plan is already foiled as the lights flicker to a halt and leave them bathed in dim light of the setting sun in the few windows.
      The alphas fall to their knees as their sensitive ears are bombarded with a loud, incessant siren.
      "Wooyoung!" Hongjoong screams over it, "go turn that shit off!"
      He nods, taking the keys off a mauled guard and dashing to the stair well, leaving it unlocked behind him.
     Hongjoong crawls to Seonghwa, collapsing into his chest with his teeth clenched and palms over his ears. His ears were always more sensitive.
     His partner places his hands over his, thumb running over his own. He looks down with his eyes glowing red, meeting pure black.
He leans and kisses him deeply, all teeth and bloodlust, trying to merge their souls until the sirens cuts off.
Their foreheads rest together, ignoring the chaos of the beta's around them yelling to be released.
"Are you ready?" Seonghwa whispers, gathering another set of keys from the fallen workers. He throws it to one of the locked in prisoners, a smirk on his face. So much for not creating chaos.
"Let's go," Hongjoong holds the door to the staircase open and lets him go first with a dramatic bow.
It takes one scream to start the havoc. The entire prison is filled with the sickly sweet sounds of caged animals with a taste of freedom. Gunfire and howls bring a smile to Seonghwa's lips as he sings out,
"Ain't no sunshine when she's gone... it's not warm when she's away..."
He hums the song with a wide grin as Hongjoong kicks the door. It takes only one more kick before it slams open and bangs against the cement wall.
The omegas in their cells are all yelling at them, at one another, in general.
Hongjoong kicks one of the many buckets on the floor over and groans, "here I was thinking she'd make it easy. I guess we'll have to go cell to cell!" A small spike of a heartbeat in his ears makes him smirk, following the sound that he memorized the first time he'd heard it.
Seonghwa follows him, immediately zeroing in on the same cell. He comes to stand infront of it, his breath making the blanket behind the bars sway slightly.
You see both pairs of orange slip on shoes and you feel your heart stop in your chest.
You cower further into the corner with Beomhan as Chungha stands in front of you. The sheet is grabbed from the outside and ripped away, making you all shriek.
"Were you playing hide and seek?" Hongjoong giggles, throwing the blanket to the side with his eyes never leaving you, a scowl growing on his features as he notices the way you're curling into another wolf. "You should know better than to hide from your alphas. Come on out."
You shake your head, gaze lowered as you hold onto the back of Chungha's uniform.
"(Y/n)," the saturnine man speaks, "come here."
"No, leave us alone! Leave me alone," your voice cracks despite how strong you want to appear.
"If I have to drag you out of here I will be very angry. Just come on, do us all a solid."
"No-"
"Open the fucking door!"
"No!"
The cells were built to hold lycans, which means lycans shouldn't be able to get in... right?
"Fucking-" Seonghwa hits the bars, leaving a dent and making the three of you jump.
Hongjoong leans on his tiptoes and whispers into his ear, and whatever he says makes his eyes begin glowing a murderous red.
He slowly wraps his clawed fingers around the bars, and the way Hongjoong backs up makes your stomach churn in anxiety of what's about to come.
And it was warranted anxiety.
With a loud growl and a single tug, he rips the silver bars from their cemented place in the wall, causing a large crack to form.
"Holy shit!" Beomhan screams, arms wrapping around you tightly.
Chungha is ripped from the small room and tossed all the way across the room, back colliding with the wall and leaving her unconscious.
You yelp as Beomhan meets a similar fate, torn from your grasp and out into the rec room like he's a mere bag of trash. You see Hongjoong approaching him with his long black claws out and proud, but your vision is blocked by the large alpha infront of you.
     Your hips back into Chungha's small desk, and your hands clamber around, landing on something small and solid.
     You swing it at his head and he ducks, grabbing your wrist and dragging you out of the small cell. You manage to swing again, making contact with his head. The small ceramic bowl shatters into pieces and leaves him only temporarily stunned, glaring down at you.
      "Fucking stop," he growls quietly, shoving you to the floor.
       He lets you shuffle away, only because Hongjoong is right behind you.
     The blonde chuckles, pulling you back up by your collar and crashing you face first into one of the round steel tables bolted into the floor. "Ow!" You yell out as your head makes contact, fighting against him with all your might, but it's fruitless.
     He kicks your feet apart and stands between them, leaning his chest over your back. You can feel his nose against your neck, over the healed skin above your scent blocker. You snap your eyes shut and do the only thing you can thing of.
     You can't fight. Begging to these men would be useless. You can't disappear into the floor like you wish you could.
     "Please, Selene," you pray to the moon, tears slipping past your shut eyes as you feel the claws of the mad man on your neck.
       You cry out as the other worldly sharp nails slice into your neck, slowly and almost surgically. His other hand is cupped on the back of your head, keeping your head pushed into the cold metal. "Shhhh," he gushes above you, "it's okay."
      Seonghwa sits at one of the bolted stools and rests his head to mimic yours, cheek on the table. "We'd've been more gentle if you listened, omega."
       Between the tips of his claws, Hongjoong holds your small alloy scent blocker. Almost instantaneously, your natural scent floods their senses.
     Their deep rumbles of pleasure make you snap your eyes back shut, missing the way Hongjoong stomps on the device.
     "Fuck," the wolf behind you curses, body pressed close to yours like he wants to fuse together, he places his hands in yours and tells you, "you might want to squeeze."
    "Wh- ah!" Your scream echoes over all of the other chaos as his teeth sink into your left shoulder, and you do just that. Your clawed hands squeeze around his, sharp nails knocking together as you hold on like his hands are the only thing keeping you from slipping to the underworld.
       It feels like a million pins and needles washing over you, leaving you paralyzed in place as he purrs into the wound, making your bones vibrate.
     A warm, comforting hand on your cheek makes you force your eyes open. Seonghwa smiles sweetly, like he isn't witnessing one of the biggest crimes in the lycan community.
      Forcing someone to be your mate for the rest of your mortal lives.
     "Breathe, omega," his words make you realize you're holding your breath, and you let it out as a sob. "That's it," he hums, rubbing his hand down your head with all the gentleness he's capable of.
        Hongjoong pulls away with a moan, resting his head between your shoulder blades as he catches his breath.
     Your wolf is already calling for her mate, howling in the back of your mind as you cry.
       "Don't worry, we'll take good care of you." Seonghwas words have little time to register in your adrenaline filled head as he turns your head the other way and climbs up on the table.
     It hits you when he moves your ruffled shirt away from your right shoulder. "No! No!" You find yourself with two million pins and needles in your body now, squeezing Hongjoongs hands all over again as Seonghwa sinks his teeth into you at an excruciatingly slow pace.
They're bigger, or maybe they only feel that way because your body is on fire. You sob freely, feet stomping pathetically to cope with the pain.
What little comfort you find in Hongjoong squeezing your hands back is washed away by the simple fact that it's him. That blood from his claws drips onto your skin.
It feels like a century later that the older alpha finally pulls away, a bellow of pleasure as he runs his thumb over the wound: making you jump.
"Your turn, omega."
The weight of their bodies is gone, but you can't bring yourself to move. Out of fear, maybe. Pain, perhaps.
"You know what happens to wolves who don't finish the bond." Hongjoong purrs teasingly, knowing full well that you will have to mark them back least you want to suffer at the hands of the moon herself.
A life with them was better than being turned inside out and left to the elements. Just barely.
You lift yourself on shaking arms and nearly fall as you turn. You would have if not for Hongjoong catching you. He lifts you back to the table much gentler, letting your legs dangle as you sit on the table top.
"Why... why me?"
"... Have you heard of Harry Talbot?"
"Harry Talbots a myth... what's he got to do with your fuck shit?"
"Harry Talbot was the first wolf that could smell his mate. He could tell just by her smell, they were meant to be." Hongjoong slots his way between your legs, smiling down at you with his bloody teeth, "her smell called to him. It wasn't just good. It wasn't a normal scent. It was...alluring."
You were growing dizzy, head spinning.
"Strong alphas can sniff out their true mate. And, baby, we're the strongest that there is."
You have to force yourself to swallow. Have to remember to breathe.
"Why? Because you're... alluring."
That's the last thing you can register before your world turns dark.
˚➶ 。˚ PART ONE END ˚➶ 。˚
1K notes · View notes
ayukas · 30 days ago
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r/UberEATS 014 are u a coward
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r/UberEATS posted by
u/finickydriver141・14 hr. ago
my customer's little brother broke her heart and i don't know how to fix it
hi. this probably isn't the right subreddit to post on but i'm an uber eats driver if that helps...
so anyways, i've been delivering to this customer for a while now, and we've gotten really close, almost like a talking stage? idk. well, last night, she told me about this huge argument her and her brother had, and i wanna help fix things because i kinda like her. a lot.
tl;dr: her little brother lied to her two years ago and ruined her friendship with her best friend. now she's upset because she found out the truth and feels like she let him down, but imo, i think the kid is just being a brat lol. i wanna step in and make things better for her, let her know that she shouldn't feel guilty, but i don't really know how to go about it.
for context, her brother (let's call him A) basically told her that her best friend (we'll call him B) stole all his bread back when B was babysitting him. she got super upset and immediately cut B off because she loves her brother more than anything and thought B broke their trust. fast forward to now, A admitted that he lied about the whole thing because he felt like he was too mature for a babysitter (which is true to a certain extent... I GUESS...) now she feels guilty for not realizing that A hated having her take care of him like that, and she's convinced that he hates her.
here's the thing though, if A feels like he's so mature and independent, why did he feel the need to lie and cause this mess? i get that he did what he did to prove he was mature enough to take care of himself but lying to your sister and ruining her relationship with her best friend is kind of the opposite of maturity, right?
anyways, what should i do to help her? i tried asking B for A's number so i could talk to him, but B refused so now i'm stuck.
should i go over to her house when she's not around and beat him up or like... take his bread? or should i just let it go and focus on comforting her? it breaks my heart to see her sad :/
⬆️ 8 ⬇️ 💬 79
u/rainsinheaven・14 hr. ago
this seems so familiar
u/back2u・13 hr. ago
right?! omg i think this is the same uber eats driver from that love confession post
u/purplecarrot・13 hr. ago
sounds like a bunch of miscommunication and overdramatics to me
u/jjanguu・11 hr. ago
i vote to beat him up
u/mrkrabs_58・11 hr. ago
This is not related to Uber Eats
u/finickydriver141・10 hr. ago
im an uber eats driver so it IS related GTFO MRKRABS58
u/cooingpenguin・9 hr. ago
i think op is in love with the girl lmao
u/yuwushi・3 hr. ago
hi. dm me. i'm A's friend.
u/finickydriver141・2 hr. ago
prove it
u/yuwushi・20 min. ago
i can't prove it without doxxing them... just dm me bro are u a coward. what's wrong with you.
u/finickydriver141・18 min. ago
WHO THE FUCK ARE U CALLING A COWARD
u/lovable_star・2 hr. ago
convince B to give u A's number again!!! if ure preaching about maturity then communication is the best way around this whole situation
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previous / masterlist / next
notes DID EVERYONE ENJOY SMTOWNNN i know i did (save me dreamies love me right cover. save me) also can u guys tell this smau is lowkey coming to an end soon (っ◞‸◟ c)
taglist @ddolbyong @nmbr1stickerenjoyer @wonpoem @jeonghansshitester @kukkurookkoo @dudekiss3r @https-yeonjun @nahyuckers @slayhaechan @luvvhaechan @chenlezip @ryuvrsie @aerivrs @snoopyjimin @yukisroom97 @snowyseungs @thegracerammy @purezitas @sundamariis @nctrawberries @sehunniepot @holyhaech @belleilichil @cyjzzl @haechology @ant-onie @n0hyuck @axo-l0tl @goquokka @jich3nle @gela0205 @irlrenjun @leevipipi @kodasity @taroddori @hyuckies18 @hibernatinghamster @renjunniex @haechyuckan @i-lovegood @chan-yeoldelling @lampcults @jae-n0 @jeongintwt @sunghoonsgfreal @injvns @sewergirlfriend @fluermeijisblog @pinklemonade34 @t-102
332 notes · View notes
sugawhaaa · 29 days ago
Text
🥀HAN ONE-SHOT🥀
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🍄•♡°[ trust me ]°♡•🍄
Warnings//genre:: SMUT! Mentions blood, Virginity loss, FLUFF, oral (f rec) fingering (f rec) handjob, body exploration, body worship, sm praise bro, protective hannie, protected sex,
Pairing:: SOFT!dom!Han x sub!virgin!fem!reader
A/N:: bro I wrote this in like...three hours but I think it's the best fanfic I have EVER written. Like he is so fucking sweet I wanna kiss him
Skz masterlist:: 💕
🎧::
Things between you and Han progressed surprisingly fast throughout your entire relationship thus far. You thought Han would like things to be slow paced but, once again, surprisingly he was the opposite. That's why you weren't overly shocked when he abruptly asked about having sex.
"I know this is kind of abrupt but we've been dating for a while so I was thinking maybe we could try..." He's very tense as he asks you, nervous to see your reaction. "Having sex? If you wanna," The way he asked made you feel so important somehow, like this wouldn't happen without your enthusatic consent.
"I mean I'd love to, but," You pause for a moment and Han looks intruiged, showing that you have all his attention. "I'm a virgin," You sigh and Han looks taken aback.
"Really?" There's a long pause as he processes what you said. "That is surprising..." He chuckles and you laugh at his comment. "I just thought, you know, you're so beautiful and attractive that some man must've approached you by this point," He explains and you shrug, not bothering to touch on the subject of other men. "I don't mind by the way! I could be your first, show you the ropes, and I'll be oh so gentle," He promises with a confident nod. "But I will wait until you are ready,"
"I never said I wasn't ready," You smile and he looks at you, wide-eyed, and his cheeks flushed.
"So...Do you wanna..?" He smirks, trying to contain his excitement. You nod and he smiles sincerely. "Okay, wow this is exciting okay," he chuckles nervously and shifts on the bed to face you. He takes your hands tenderly in his. "Are you sure?" He confirms and you nod.
"Absolutely," you smile and he blushes softly. "I can't think of another person I'd want to be my first, experiencing something like this with you has honestly been my dream, my fantasy, everything," you blush and look down as you confess your inner feelings. "I trust you," you keep eye contact with and he smiles sincerely.
"Thank you Y/N," he lifts your hands to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. "Let's get you nice and comfortable first," Han gets you to stand up while he fixes the bed, making sure the sheets are flat without a single crease. He then turns the lights out before turning on the fairy lights in the room, creating dim and warm lighting for an intimate and romantic night. He then turns to face you again. "Now, shall we undress?" He smiles and you can't help but blush at his care for your first time, all his efforts to make you comfortable. "I'll start," he takes off his shirt and tosses it aside in the pile of laundry. He holds your hips and guides you to sit on the bed as he finishes undressing. "Should I go all the way or just to my boxers?" He smiles down at you and you giggle.
"Mmm all the way," you smirk slightly and he laughs.
"Alright my little minx," he kisses your forehead quickly before pulling down his sweatpants. You watch as the baggy fabric falls to reveal his toned legs, his thighs muscular from lots of training, but what draws your attention the most is the bulge in his boxers.
You had seen his bulge before, whether it was intentional or not. Almost every morning it's hard to keep your eyes off his crotch. "Do you wanna do the honors?" He offers and you blush, a little flustered by the offer but you can't deny that you want to. You hook your thumbs on the waistband of his boxers and pull them down, watching his cock slip out of its confinement. Your face flushes as you see him for the first time, your lip subconsciously tucking between your teeth.
He rubs your head teasingly, ruffling your hair. "Like what you see?" He jokes and you huff at him. "I'm teasing," he caresses your cheek, rubbing his thumb over the squishy skin he loves so much. He then sits down beside you. "Would you like to...touch me a little or undress first?" He puts a hand to your back, offering comfort.
"I guess I'll undress a little," you nod and take off your shirt and pants, leaving you in your undergarments. You notice hans eyes chasing your breasts as you set your shirt aside.
"Fuck..." he mutters softly and it draws your attention. "Sorry, sorry," he puts his hands up in surrender as his cock follows suit, standing up. You chuckle softly, brushing him off.
"Don't apologize, I like it when you get flustered," you nod before your eyes flutter down to his length, standing proud and tall as it twitches against his stomach. "Is it okay if I touch you?" You bring your hand to hover over his most intimate area.
"Y-Yeah, of course, baby, I'm all yours," he leans back a little, his arms propped up behind him, exposing his cock to you. You hesitate before making contact with his cock. You can feel the throb of his heat, the silkiness of his skin, the wetness of his arousal, it's all so erotic and enticing. He moans softly, his head tossed and hair falling back, before chuckling softly. "Your hands are so soft...I've waited so long to feel you baby," he smiles blissfully as you continue to explore him.
You feel around his hardness, taking in the size and length of it, and watch it twitch in your palms. You then shift your hand into an O shape and slip his cock through the hole. He lets out a shaky breath before smiling. "That's good, yeah," he moans lowly, his voice raspy in pleasure. You felt your blood rushing at the sight of him like this, hearing his moans and praise got you so excited. He brings a hand up to your head, playing with your hair. "You're so good to me," his eyes fluttered shut in bliss. "Go a little faster, please," he chuckles in embarrassment at his request. "Fuck, yes like that," he praises as your hand moves faster, effortlessly gliding thanks to his precum.
You began to feel more bold and confident in your performance thanks to his praise and reactions. Before you know it his body is twitching and acting on its own. "Keep going," he encourages, gripping the sheets next to him hard. You weren't sure what else to do so you just kept jerking him off faster and faster until he started letting out these guttural groans. "Shit! I'm cumming baby," he cries out his head thrown all the way back as his back arches, his legs twitching slightly.
Cum spurts out onto your hands and a rush of excitement courses through you. The lewdness of feeling someone else's cum on your hands and seeing him reach such a high peak due to your ministrations was indescribably arousing.
Eventually, he calms down, his breathing evening out as he chuckles sincerely. "You did so fucking good babygirl," he holds the side of your face to kiss you deeply as a reward. At first, the kiss catches you off guard but you fall into it, bringing a cum coated hand up to his shoulder. Your tongues mingle and twist around each other as he leans in closer to you. He rubs your thigh softly with his free hand before pulling back, his hand still lingering. He looks up into your eyes and you can tell exactly what he'll ask next. "You ready?" He tilts his head, his fingers drawing closer to your panties.
"I'm ready, more than ready," you blush, the puddle of wetness in your panties now obvious. He throws your thighs around his waist and he picks you up. He sets you on the bed, laying back against the plush pillows he coordinated to support and comfort you. He gently helps you remove your undergarments, making sure you feel worshipped along the way.
"You have such perfect tits," he admires your breasts after removing your bra, gently cupping the soft flesh. "So soft," he kisses your nipple softly making you release a little squeak at the new sensation. After giving your tits a little attention he moves lower, giving tender kisses to your tummy. He peels off your panties, tugging them down your legs and tossing them aside. You reflexively cross your legs, hiding your vulnerability. "Hey, hey, don't be shy now baby," he brings his hands to your knees, prying your legs open.
"I'm embarrassed," you admit and he stops, looking up at you sincerely.
"Why babygirl? I've been waiting for this for way too long," he whines and you chuckle softly.
"I just...I didn't shave or anything because I didn't know we'd be doing this anytime soon..." you explain and Han sighs, thinking of how to respond.
"Listen...I don't really care," he explains, instantly making your expression change. "If it makes you feel more comfortable to shave you go right ahead baby, but if you're shaving on my part or if you are simply embarrassed because you haven't shaved, don't," Jisung nods determinedly and you blush, a smile creeping upon your lips. "Now, can I please see this pretty pussy?" He looks up at you with lust-filled and desperate eyes. You nod with a smile and he smiles back, proud that you are now comfortable with him.
He pulls your legs apart to reveal your dripping cunt, he doesn't even pay mind to the curly hair there, more focused on the slickness of your folds. "Fuck baby," he moans before running a finger up your folds. "Look at this," he says in awe, loving the way you respond to him. "So wet, so cute," he brings his thumb up to your clit, rubbing little circles on it. "What do you want me to do babygirl? Finger you or eat you out?" He tilts his head, resting the side of his head against your inner thigh as he continues to play with your clit.
"Maybe...both?" You smirk playfully and he chuckles.
"Should've guessed huh?" He places a gentle kiss to your clit making you gasp softly. "Don't be afraid to pull my hair baby, I know you're gonna want to," he slithers a finger down to your slit, guiding it between your tight folds. "Deep breaths baby," he encourages, his words slightly muffled by your pussy. You nod and take in long breaths. His finger trails in deep, roaming around your insides, familiarizing himself with your tender spots.
He takes a long time, taking a lot of care into finding all those spots and paces you like before actually fingering you.
He curls to fingers simultaneously against that squishy spot that makes you squirm as his tongue flicks your clit but he takes a pause to speak. "If it's too much just tell me okay?" He quickly resumes his ministrations as you whimper and sob.
"O-Okay," you tug on his hair, the silver strands lacing around your fingers. You let out a loud whimper and blush at your own sounds, sounding so pathetic and lewd.
"Keep doing that, moan for me," he groans, getting lost in lust and falling drunk to your cunt. He fingers you faster, a bit harder as well, seeking more music to his ears. You finally cave in, embracing your lust and moaning into the quiet room.
"Jisung, I-I think..." you bite your lip, unsure of how to confess such a sensation.
"You getting close?" He finishes your statement for you and you nod, your lips quivering as your brows curl up. He sucks on your clit, the room filling with slurping sounds and the sound of your pussy sucking in his fingers. You feel this warmth trickling up your body as your head goes fuzzy, your body lightly twitching from the sensation. Your hips buck up reflexively and Han pulls you through the orgasm, drawing out every last strand of pleasure, before pulling back. "How was that?" He smiles and you're left panting, your head reeling.
"Fucking...insane..." you pant out and laugh softly, the rush of hormones making you feel above the clouds. He laughs at your fucked out state before kissing your forehead.
"Such a good little minx," he pats your hip softly, a form of praise. "Do you need a break or shall we keep moving?"
"I wanna keep going, I've never felt so good," you explain and Han creeps up closer to you, hovering above you.
"I'm so glad angel," he caresses your cheek. "I'm so glad I get to see you feel like this for the first time. The way your lips part, your body twitches, your eyes squinting shut, your little cries, they're everything to me," he rests his forehead against yours as he speaks softly. As he speaks you feel his cock nudging against your lower abdomen, hinting that he's growing impatient but he will always wait for you.
"Trust me Jisung, I wouldn't change a thing in my life as long as I got to be with you," you kiss him softly and he smiles bashfully.
"Please Y/N...let me please you," he reaches over to the nightstand, searching through the bottom drawer for a condom packet. He sits back on his knees, his cock standing up and front. He holds the packet between his teeth and tears it open, tossing the wrapper somewhere in the room, before rolling the condom on with ease. "It may hurt a little at first but I promise I'll take it slow," he lines his sealed cock up to your slit. "Ready?"
"Mhm," you nod, eagerly waiting for the impending sensation to take over you. He gently pushes his hips forward and the two of you moan in sync.
"Fuck," he curses as his cock makes it only about halfway through your pussy. "How are you doing?"
"It kinda hurts but I can push through," you nod, gripping his shoulders tight. He takes one of your hands, intertwining it with his.
"Squeeze it," he nods before pushing his hips forward again. You let out a cry, squeezing his hand hard as you feel him filling you up.
"Fuck," you curse loudly. "It hurts but it feels so fucking good," you throw your head back, your hand trembling as you squeeze his hand.
"Deep breaths babygirl," he then thrusts forward, his cock filling you up. You jump, back arched, at the sudden increase in intensity. "Shh, Shh, it's all in baby," he kisses your lower jaw softly. "You're doing so good," he rubs your thigh. At first, Jisung moves slowly, allowing you plenty of time to adjust, but the condom helps lube you up a lot and soothe the muscles. As soon as he begins to slowly thrust your head spins.
"Is it supposed to feel this intense," you chuckle as sweat builds along your forehead.
"I know it's a lot at first but trust me, I'll make you feel so good," he promises softly as his hips skillfully roll against yours. You claw at his back, your nails digging in as you fall to the overwhelming pleasure. You let out cracked moans and Jisung finds it hard to hold back, craving you more and more as he thrusts into you gently, but the he hears the most reassuring words he could possibly ask for in this situation.
"Faster~"
Your voice was soft, a quiet yet desperate plea and Jisung is not one to deny a lady of her wishes. He moves his hips faster, falling to his own lust. He thrusts harder, deeper, faster, all the things to make your head spin. Your body begins to shake as you let out squeals of incoherent lust and everything just comes pouring out of the two of you.
"Oh yes fuck baby!" He groans as he unloads into the condom, hips twitching into yours. The two of you ramble incoherent lewd words at the overwhelming pleasure before slowly coming down together. "So tight," he groans.
"Fuck Jisungie," your body goes limp against the bed, your body still trembling from the intensity of the orgasm. He pets your head sincerely, feeling the softness of the locks.
"You did so good," he breathes out. "I suppose I should pull out just in case," he chuckles before pulling out, you could hear your pussy clinging to him as he eased out. He removes the condom, tossing it in the bin next to your bed. "I'll throw that out properly later, way too fucked up right now. Besides I need to take care of you," he smiles before noticing the cum dripping out of your slit, a hue of pink in it, but you were unaware. "Um this is kind of awkward but just so you know you're bleeding a bit," he says as he sits up next to you, pulling you into his lap.
"Shit really? You think it's from my hymen?" You blush, hiding in his chest.
"Don't be embarrassed, and probably," he nods and you sigh. "Let's get you in the shower, kay?" He scoops you up in his arms and you gasp at how effortlessly he lifts you. "Maybe I can please you some more in there, hm?"
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zephrunsimperium · 7 months ago
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Ford is a jerk to Fiddleford McGucket in Journal 3. Let's talk about that.
First I want to preface this post by saying that I adore Ford. He is a wonderful character who has influenced my life in countless ways for the better. All of the things he does in this list a) stem from his own insecurities that he's projecting b) are symptoms of Ford's narcissistic defense mechanisms c) or come from Bill's influence on him. However, just because there are reasons for his actions doesn't excuse them, especially considering just how many there are.
Here's the list of things he does, I'll analyze at the end of the post.
Let's get the petty things out of the way first.
The cubic's cube: I think it is just straight up an absolute jerk move to scramble this thing that's clearly a comfort to him and think it's funny.
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Being in shape: It's obvious his comments here are from his own insecurity but on a deeper level it just speaks to how Ford sees him, I think.
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Not telling Fidds about Bill: Obviously Bill was feeding him a lot of paranoia but it's the reasoning that he writes down that gets me. It's so condescending.
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The Gremloblin & The Shapeshifter
Something I think that's worth taking note of is the way Ford illustrates both of these instances. He brushes off Fiddleford's concerns multiple times and then Fiddleford pays the price and Ford sees himself as some kind of hero and Fiddleford this helpless victim. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
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And then afterwards the way he handles not just Fiddleford's anxiety but the genuine trauma he went through. I know he's an old man, I know that's how he was treated, but Fiddleford is supposed to be his friend.
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The Portal Test
Specifically their interaction at the diner and Ford's reaction to Fiddleford quitting the project. Fiddleford SELFLESSLY spends untold hours on this thesis for Ford because he cares about him and sees him burning out, even though Ford hasn't been great to him and Fidds has been going through his own hard things - not just with the gremloblin and the Shapeshifter, but things with his family as well. Ford does not match that selfless devotion at all. In fact, he sees it as an insult.
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Analysis
The reason I've been thinking about this is because of Book of Bill and how that's influenced the shipping atmosphere. There's this weird notion that FiddAuthor is a less toxic ship but I think that's absurd. Besides their hug at Weirdmageddon, these journal entries are pretty much all we see of Ford's relationship with Fiddleford and it doesn't paint a pretty picture. Yes Ford is excited to have Fiddleford come to see him, yes Ford has that sweet conversation with him under the stars, but I don't think it's a stretch to say that all the above evidence outweighs hat. At the very least it shouldn't be ignored.
That doesn't mean Ford is a terrible person and we should hate him. I believe strongly in nuance and Ford is a character that requires nuance. I don't think he's an evil person, but I also don't think he should be babied as this perfect wittle guy who can do no wrong either. Both readings do a disservice to him.
Ford clearly had a hard childhood. He's isolated himself his whole life and he's been severely traumatized by Bill. But that doesn't mean that he deserves Fiddleford's forgiveness - Ford wasn't really that kind to him and his actions inadvertently led to the memory gun/Fidds' exposure to Bill. Ultimately it's Fiddleford's choice to make; I wouldn't fault him if he didn't want to ever see Ford again, but I think it's a testament to his goodness that he still cares for Ford as much as he does.
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So what do I personally think? Man. I'm just sad we don't know more about Fiddleford McGucket than we do. He's so essential to Bill's defeat and to Ford's past and he's such a cool character but we know so little about him. I want to know what his childhood was like, I want to know how he ended up in Backupsmore, I want to know why he cares about Ford as much as he does, I want to know why things ended so poorly with EmmaMay. But we may never know those things for certain. So with the things we're left... Yeah, I think FiddAuthor is a compelling reading, one that I certainly enjoy. I just worry about the fandom babying Ford.
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whatudowhennooneseesyou · 23 days ago
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HELLOOOO 🩵 I love that Lee Know natal chart reading that u just posted. I think most of ur points are almost the same as my observations. I wonder, will you ever do (this is me requesting too lol pls) the same reading for ATEEZ' Seonghwa? I'm curious on how u'd write the same thing for him 😆🩵 Thanks in advance!
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬 (𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 & 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝)
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Word Count: 1.5 K
Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and should NOT be taken in a serious manner. 18+
Methodology: Traditional astrology and Whole Signs method
Overview:
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Seonghwa was born in Jinju but that suburb did not come up with the astrology calculator settings so I chose Sacheon b/c it's the closest.
Placements:
Aries Sun (10th House)
Cancer Moon (1st House)
Cancer Rising (Moon-Ruled)
Aries Mercury (10th House retrograde)
Aquarius Venus (8th House)
Aries Mars (10th House)
Fuckboi Rating: 10/10
The man definitely HAD a fuckboi phase FOR SURE!!!
I feel like he's softened now but I feel like he was at his peak of feralness during the Say My Name era like this man has been RAN THROUGH!!!
His Aquarius Venus/Aries Mars duo indicates he doesn't need an emotional connection to enjoy sex (and might even prefer it) and the 8th House influence indicates he's very secretive with his encounters and preferring situations where he reveals as little information as possible about himself.
Seonghwa also gets bored easily and needs constant spontaneity to remain entertained, hence the desire to seek attention from many...MANY people.
He also has a tell when he's feeling himself or attracted to someone which is when he sticks his tongue out and bites his lip.
Green & Red Flags:
Green:
Nurturing and protective! There's a reason why this man is the 'Mother' of Atiny and his Cancer Moon is the biggest influence for it. A relationship with Seonghwa would feel like 'home' and you would feel safe to be your authentic self without fear of restriction or judgement.
Determined and Fearless! This is a man who is willing to go to HELL AND BACK for the one he loves, no challenge is ever too great for his loved ones and he would always stand up for you and ensure your well-being is always taken care off.
Encourages personal growth! Seonghwa would always want to put your best interests first and help you grow and better yourself, he would encourage you to go therapy, seek treatment and learn understand and embrace yourself.
Red:
Stubborn and Impulsive! He is an Aries stellium after all and could see criticism as a personal attack, making the ability to navigate improvements in the relationship difficult. His impulsive communication style could lead him to saying hurtful things during an argument then regretting it later.
Carries Old Torch For Ex's! Cancer placements are NOTORIOUS for carrying emotional baggage and unresolved feelings into new relationships. You could feel like a piece of him belongs to someone else rather than having Seonghwa whole and only for you.
Detached & Emotionally Distant! The Aquarius Venus is not an emotional Venus sign to have, he is not the most verbally affectionate in relationships and you might feel like you're more emotionally invested in the relationship than Seonghwa is.
Ideal Type...If He's Into Women
Physical Traits:
Unconventional Style! The Aquarius influence means he's attracted to features/aesthetic that are different from the environment he grew up in. He could prefer people from overseas OR people who live near him that have a style that goes against standard norms.
The opposite to Yunho actually, he's attracted to women who have a sexy, elegant and polished appearance, the ultimate yearner for someone who has a dark feminine/black cat aesthetic and personality (basically Hongjoong).
Legs/Boobs! The Cancer & Aries influence combined means he's the only member of Ateez who has a strong LOVE for the boobies (the rest are arse men). I don't think he'd have a preference for size (but probably would prefer bigger) and would love a girl who can rock a pair of stilettos and wear them well- combined with stockings he'd enjoy ripping with bare hands when it's time.
Does anyone remember the iconic Jessi video?? That tongue was wildin when he had a sneak peak (and honestly same, she's so hot).
Personality Traits:
Confident/Sexy! I feel like Seonghwa is definitely the type who would like a woman that's confident with others but shy around him. Regardless, unlike Yunho who prefers the cute and shy girls, Seonghwa prefers women who are fiery, extroverted and talkative.
Independent! Seonghwa does NOT like partners who are clingy or needy, he wants someone who can reassure and validate themselves. Friendships and relationships are the same for him so he wants a best friend first, romantic partner second.
Authentic! Seonghwa is a human lie detector so he'll be able to tell when someone is 'faking' their personality or changing themselves for him. He wants someone who knows who they are and are strong in their identity, flaws and all.
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Dom, Sub Or Switch?
Seonghwa is a switch by default with his Aquarius Venus but with his Aries placements, I'd say he has a preference to be dominant 90% of the time.
A hard/rough/primal type of dominant with a brat-taming preference because he enjoys the hunt and chase a natural bratty partner can give him, he prefers to work for his prize and reward.
The only time he would be submissive is if he had a really hard day or he was experiencing an emotionally tumultuous situation, or if it was a special occasion like your birthday and you wish was for you to take control and lead.
It's why I laugh when people prefer to Seonghwa as the 'twink' with Hongjoong when it's the other way around, their friendship works due to the classic brat/brat-taming dynamic between them of Seonghwa initiating, Hongjoong acting like he doesn't enjoy it but does- plays Seonghwa more and then gives in which satisfies Seonghwa and then it repeats.
But Seonghwa out of Matz is the dominant one or the 'top' for the ones who read/write the fanfics.
Kinks...Just A Few Of Them:
One Night Stands/Anonymous Sex/Orgies/Exhibitionism
This is some Eyes Wide Shut type of smut but this ties in with Seonghwa enjoying the challenge and pleasing multiple people at once. His Aries Mars means he has a short stamina but quick recovery so whilst he may not last long...he quickly can recover, recuperate and move on to the next person.
This also satisfies his tendencies to switch multiple positions with minimum foreplay when he's really craving the feeling of someone clenched around him.
Definitely a big fan of those bukkake/'running the train' type fantasies.
He is also a HUGE exhibitionist (and gets turned on easily) so Seonghwa might feel horny and have the need to fuck anywhere that isn't a bed- like the hood of his car at 3am or on the balcony of his hotel room etc.
'I've got two hands and all night to make sure everyone here feels satisfied by me'
Pregnancy/Breeding/Lactation
Seonghwa has mentioned he wants 'as many children he can have' when he's ready and yes, part of it is because of his ACTUAL breeding kink and enjoying the fantasy of seeing his partner being pregnant with his child.
( I say actual kink because I see so many people on here confuse breeding with having a marking kink. Just because you enjoy having someone ejaculate in you, it doesn't mean you have a breeding kink. A breeding kink involves being aroused by the fantasy of getting pregnant, if you enjoy the feeling of being 'cummed in' but don't have an interest in being pregnant- you probably have a marking kink.)
He would get so hard and aching in his pants if you were complaining about how swollen your boobs were and seeing your breast milk leak through your bra.
Low-key, I can totally imagine him shyly bringing up the idea of you breastfeeding him one late night after watching you feed his child.
Heck, I'll even get more taboo and say he might fucking love it if you breastfed from him. Seonghwa might divulge in the image of gently holding you on his lap as you suck and lick on his nipples (like in my nipple play fic) and indulge in that fantasy of him taking care of you.
'Keep pumping you full like the breeding bitch you are precious, need to keep you on my cock and make sure it takes with every load'.
Degradation/Marking/Spit/Cum Play/Biting
Seonghwa is a known clean freak and likes to keep everything in order everywhere except the bedroom.
He loves sex when it's DIRTY and when it feels naughty and like he shouldn't be doing it, so the more FREAKY the better.
This correlates to the joys of being a brat-tamer and being able to consensually use sex as a 'punishment' per say with being rough, edging you of your orgasm or being able to objectify you where you are covered in his spit and cum.
Seonghwa would enjoy a partner who loves feeling 'used' and he can mark up and bite, leave them walking slightly slower the next day and bonus points if he can film it or take pictures he can add to his stash of debauchery.
Also, the 8th House does rule over the reproductive/urinary system and with his Venus placed in it...he could enjoy watersports.
If any man would enjoy going down on a woman while she's menstruating, it would be Seonghwa...like I said- NASTY!!!
'Such a filthy whore for me precious, you were asking for it with your attitude so take it like the slut you are'.
Runner Up....Mommy Kink
I do think Seonghwa would genuinely enjoy being called 'Mommy' but he'd only use the term when he's in the mood to be less rough and more nurturing.
Seonghwa does enjoy using sex as a way of showing comfort or love to you so an occasion he'd enjoy being called 'Mommy' is if you were emotionally distraught or upset and just crying in front of him (also another big kink of Seonghwa's- dacryphilia) and he wanted to make you feel better or show his appreciation.
Basically, if you were showing bouts of sadness that wouldn't be healed through rough sex, this is when the love for being called 'Mommy' would show.
'Let it all out for me precious, Mommy will take care of you tonight, I'll promise I'll make it all go away'
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Enjoy and let me know your thoughts!!!
Taglist: @scuzmunkie @marievllr-abg @umbralhelf @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @craxy-person @hologramhoneymoon @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @berryberrytan @sensitiveandhungry @laylasbunbunny @bangchanbabygirlx @i-love-ateez @anyamaris @krishastumblernow @hexheathen @michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell @starillusion13 @justaaveragereader @jus2passtime @shroomoth @marykpoppins @leomggg @daddysspecialdollyworld @mykryptonitelight @wisejudgedragonhairdo @sanakimohara @chansfavouritetoy @honeyhotteoks
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arc-misadventures · 2 months ago
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Advice For The Heartbroken
: Oh? Hello, Jaune.
Jaune: Hello, Mrs... Miss Schnee. I'd offer my condolences, but I don't think you'd truly care for that.
Willow: No, not at all.
Jaune: I will say you are looking better; you, and this house seems more lively. Like a new wave of fresh air has blown in.
Willow: Yes, the oppressive aura that, Jacques carried about him has been lifted, bringing new life to my family, and house. Speaking of looking better; I must say I like your new outfit; Is that a, Specialist uniform?
Jaune: Ahh... yes... Yes it is. I recently became a member of the, Specialist as of, Winter's recommendations.
Willow: Oh congratulations, Jaune! That uniform suit you perfectly.
Jaune: Thank you, Miss Schnee.
Willow: Please, Jaune I already told you, you can call me, Willow. No more of this, Miss Schnee business.
Jaune: Alright then... Willow...
Willow: See, that wasn't too hard. Now then, please take a seat, I assume you're here not because of your new position. Perhaps about the odd circumstances around, Jacques's suspicious death?
Jaune: Thank you... and, uhhh no. I'm not aware of anything in regards to, Jacques's death, and the investigation. I'm a, Huntsman, not a detective.
Willow: Thought I should ask; Winter is unable to tell me anything. Something about the: 'Confidentiality pertaining to the ongoing investigation pertaining to the suspicious death of, Jacques Schnee.'
Jaune: In essence: No.
Willow: Precisely~!
Willow: Now then, since you are not here to talk about, Jacques death, what can I help you with, Jaune?
Jaune: Well... Since you mentioned, Winter... I need some help with her...
Willow: Oh, what is wrong? Did my daughter do something to you?
Jaune: Uhhh... kinda...?
Willow: Kinda... what?
Jaune: Winter likes me...
Willow: So? You are a well mannered, polite, respectable young man. There is very little to hate about you, Jaune. So of course she likes you.
Jaune: Uhhh... no, not that... Winter likes me... As in, like-likes me...
Willow: ...
Willow: S-Seriously...?
Jaune: She's blushed in front of me. She's laughed with me, not at me. She's smiled at me. She gave me this sash on my waist. And, I swear on my mother's life; she winked, and said 'tee-hee' at me!
Willow: Holy shit... Winter does like-like you... I can't believe this...
Jaune: Neither can I.
Willow: I picked a wrong time to stop drinking...
Willow: Okay... you have my permission.
Jaune: ...
Jaune: Wha...?
Willow: You have permission to date my daughter.
Jaune: Oh... thank you... B-But, that isn't why I'm here... kinda...?
Willow: Oh? Then what is it, Jaune?
Jaune: I have... absolutely no experience when it comes to romance. If you ask, Weiss about my attempts to, 'whoo' her, you'd whinge in shame at my antics...
Willow: Yes, I do believe I remember hearing, Weiss complaining about that.
Jaune: ...
Jaune: I... I like, Winter... I'm not entirely sure how much I care for her, but I know I do care for, Winter... If there is a possibility of us having a relationship, I want to try... I don't want to miss this chance... not again... So, I came to you to... ask for advice.
Willow: Advice? Why me, couldn't you ask one of your friends for advice?
Jaune: Ha! Ruby has no experience when it comes to love. Weiss, has poor taste in men, and we have that whole history together, not to mention it's about her sister! I can't possibly talk about this with her.
Willow: That would be an ill-advised endeavor to take.
Jaune: Nora, and Ren are out of the question. Nora is pinning for, Ren so hard she might as well become a pine tree. And, people call me dense?! They should take a look at, Ren! A woman is literally fawning over him, and he doesn't see a damn thing!
Willow: Oh, she liked him, I never notice...
Jaune: Don't even get me started on, Blake, and Yang's thing.
Willow: Oh please do, I do love gossip~!
Jaune: Oh, that's right, woman love to gossip; My mother, and sisters love to gossip too.
Jaune: Okay... Blake, and Yang are stuck in this will they won't they situation upon which I don't think they should, because dating, Blake would end up being a part of a very toxic relationship. I mean... Blake is a coward, she has a habit of running away from her problems, and dumping them on others, and refusing to take the blame. Not to mention her past dating experience is horrible! Her first lover was Adam Taurus! A psychotic race supremist terrorist! And, a fanatical lesbian who like, Adam, tried to kill her! Twice!
Willow: Oh~? Now isn't this juicy~!
Jaune: Yang has abandonment issues! Her mother abandoned her when she was a child! It would destroy her if, Blake ran away, again! My sister is a lesbian who is married. and in a loving relationship. I told them about, Blake, and Yang, and they looked horrified at the thought of the two of them dating. Not, because its a human, and faunas relationship, because they know how toxic it could be!
Willow: Oh my~! Even the lesbians are looking down on them~! Now things are getting interesting~!
Jaune: Since I don't get involved in their conversations, I just observe. And, I don't like what I'm seeing... Is there a chance they get together, yes. Is there a chance it will be a healthy relationship, maybe... But, I wouldn't bet money on it.
Willow: Ohh~! It's so much fun hearing all the juicy gossip! I feel like I'm a teenager again~!
Jaune: So... I said, I have no experience with dating, so I've come to you for advice. I know you had a toxic relationship with your ex-husband...
Willow: That's an understatement...
Jaune: But, even before that there must have been moments that were happy? Or, the very least you can tell me the does, and don'ts of a relationship. Mostly the don'ts all thing considered...
Willow: ...
Jaune: I know you didn't have a good relationship... But, of everyone I know... You're the only one I can ask.
Willow: Couldn't you ask your sister? She's married after all.
Jaune: Yeah, I could ask my sister how she got together with her wife, but...
Willow: She has no idea how it happened?
Jaune: No clue whatsoever.
Willow: So you came to me for advice.
Jaune: Yeah, I did.
Willow: Listen, Jaune... I do not understand my daughter well enough to give you advice when it comes to having a relationship with her. I estranged myself from my children when I escaped, Jacque's abuse to the bottle. I am in the middle of trying to rebuild our relationship. I'm learning who my children are, and plan to become. So, I can't tell you what you could do to enter a relationship with her... But, if what you said is true, that if you're making my daughter laugh, and smile. Then you should be together, or at the very least, give it a chance. And, don't regret not taking the chance.
Jaune: ...
Jaune: I don't want to lose that chance again...
Willow: Again?
Jaune: Okay... for now I'll just play it by ear, and see where it will take me... hopefully somewhere nice... Thank you, Willow.
Willow: My pleasure, Jaune. I hope the best for you two. I wouldn't mind you becoming my son in law.
Jaune: O-Oh... Thank you... Now, I best get going there is work to be done.
Willow: Do, Say hello to, Whitely before you leave. He's been wanting to talk to you again.
Jaune: Oh? I'll go do that. Goodbye, Willow.
Willow: Goodbye, Jaune.
Willow: ...
Willow: I wish you the best of luck, Jaune...
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lovemomhatepolice · 9 months ago
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carlos sainz nswf alphabet (part 1) (minors DNI!)
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Carlos is such a cutie! He may not look like that, but I beg to differ - anyone who knows him knows very well that this is only an appearance. Carlos is so into you that I think he would do something to himself than if you were to feel bad. Aftercare with him includes, of course, lots of hugs, gentle kisses and a hell of a lot of words of affirmation.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) This question has been asked before…. Carlos definitely likes his big “cojones” in him. Oh, but this is not the place to tell about it. Although maybe… what's too much to say? Carlos loves how he's able to completely fill you up, while you're one big ball of whiny mass. In general, I can say that Carlos is satisfied with his appearance. He knows his worth and is well aware of how damn handsome he is. Spanish genes - that's it.
And as for you, I can answer without hesitation that your buttocks. God! Carlos is such a sucker when it comes to your ass. He always but always has to have his hand on it. Sometimes he pats you, sometimes he pinches you. Whatever just has to do with it. That's why he often prefers to stand behind you or let you pass somewhere…. Yes, the behavior of a gentleman must involve something, right?
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Nah, I don't feel like Carlos is someone who likes to mess around. But at the same time, when he sees his mess pouring out of you, oh I swear you have entangled him around your finger.
When, by a joint decision, you put aside condoms and started using pills, Carlos was incensed. The touch of skin-to-skin and the possibility of getting inside you, jesus.And the sight of your shared combined juices…. A different approach, however, is to end up on your face. Oh no, that's not what he's signed up for. Sperm on your face is not a sight he's a fan of, maybe because it makes him feel weird and it's like he doesn't respect you.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He loves to fuck you in front of the mirror. Your double view in front of him, especially in the doggie position is something that makes him feel like he's going to fly away. He never said it explicitly, but the fact that your future ceiling in your shared bedroom will be a mirror should give you something to think about.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) Well, Carlos has had maybe three partners in his life? Of which he was with one of them for about six years, so he is definitely experienced, but without exaggeration. Aside from the women he has been in a relationship with, he has never had sex with someone else before or in between. He's the kind of man who perceives sex in a very private and sensual way, so it wasn't for him.
He knows what he's doing, totally knows what he's doing, and if he's not sure about something, the conversation will certainly not skip. You can be sure that he will take care of every detail.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Did I mention that he loves your buttocks? Oh yes. So any position where he can grab them or look at them is most welcome. On a doggie? He loves it!!! Carlos has it in him that he likes to dominate, which doesn't bother you at all. He does it so well that, well - you are left to bend over and wait on your knees.
Or a reverse cowgirl. On the couch On the couch, it's the perfect position for him - he can still be dominant, but still give you a lot of leeway (which he also loves secretly)
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) That depends. Mostly, though, Carlos tries to give your moment some spice and depth, and not play around with some silliness. You are the person in this relationship who is sooner to say something silly or start giggling. However, the room for speech and giggles when Carlos fills your feminine sphere is rare, as moaning and begging him for more definitely prevails.
Well, unless we are talking about quick sex, then it will happen. Particularly when it takes place in one of the valets in the ferrari garage and there are some liquids flying down from the cabinets around you. Yeah...
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Carlos has luscious hair. From a young age, his head is adorned with dark, strong and thick hair. The same with the hair all over his body. Nevertheless, he doesn't worry too much about it - hair is natural for every human being! But when it comes to the intimate sphere, Carlos has to be perfectly shorn there. Some hair is out of the question, especially since, unfortunately, it also grows quickly and densely there. He just doesn't like their presence next to his penis, and what's worse, as if it should be combined with sperm. Not a chance.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Sainz adores intimacy.
He may not be as much of a romantic as Charles, but he can definitely show off. He likes to spice up your sexual experience with things like hot chocolate or making shots of tequila salt and lime between your breasts. It's crazy. But that's all Chili. Let's not hide - he also often lights the lamp around you and prepares you for a romantic evening for two with a glass of wine and quietly playing music that blends with your whimpers. J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Carlos loves to masturbate in front of the mirror. As with your sex, the man likes to satisfy himself in front of the mirror. To be honest, he doesn't know why himself, it's just the way he is and it's over. And as for the frequency, he doesn't do it very often - if he wants a blowjob, for example, I think you already know it well yourself and don't leave your man in need. K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Blindly? Yes, that's definitely it. Sometimes it's you, sometimes it's Carlos, but it's something he loves. The anticipation of what's going to happen. The touch with which he gently glides over your body or you over his. And when it's topped off with hot chocolate or a massage, my goodness, you're both in heaven.
Creampie. This is the second answer. As I mentioned before - Sainz loves to watch and feel the combination of your juices pouring out of you. Damn, it turns him on so much. L = Location (favorite places to do the do) In front of the mirror. Whether in your bedroom or, as it happens, in the restroom. You nevertheless have very many mirrors in your apartment, so it doesn't really matter to him. Carlos also likes to have sex on the floor. Oh jeez, since you bought a new fluffy carpet, in addition to lying there all the time, he still pulls you onto it and you are able to spend long, long hours there. M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) You in short skirts. How many times did you have to chastise him not to lift them up “accidentally”. Or he didn't lean you over the kitchen counter when you were in them and say hot things in your ear…. Or a new set of underwear. Carlos loves to go shopping with you - and when he has the opportunity to pick out new underwear for you (or just does it himself), he even drowns in happiness.
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A/N: part two! enjoy :) i will be very pleased if you leave something behind - orders are open, and I am very close to 200 followers! maybe I can get in by the end of the week?
please do not copy and translate my works! in case of any issues related to this - I invite you to discuss privately :)
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angel-of-the-moons · 5 months ago
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Your Beanies are My Babies, too
Steven Grant x Reader (Implied Marc & Jake x Reader)
TW/CW: None!
Summary:
Steven makes sure you know nothing is too silly or childish for him if it makes you happy.
A/N: This came to me because unpacking some things I found the few Beanie Babies I have! Including my sweet lil froggy I thought my sister stole :')
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You sighed as you closed the little plastic tote, your shoulders sagging with guilt as you prepared to stuff the container on the top shelf in the back of the closet.
"What's wrong, love?" Steven asked curiously as he carefully placed your clothes in the freshly emptied drawers in the dresser.
You had decided to make everything more official in your relationship by moving in together. Steven's place was bigger than yours, and with some TLC and cleaning, it was plenty big for your stuff as well.
"Oh, it's... it's nothing, don't worry about it." You reply, your smile strained and not quite reaching your eyes. He noticed, but didn't say anything.
Instead, he nodded and smiled back, his dark eyes twinkling, "Right, then. Let's stop and make lunch, yeah? Been at this all morning!"
Steven set the empty cardboard box atop the dresser, and wiped his hands dramatically free of imaginary dust, "You hungry?"
Your smile widened just a bit, genuine mirth taking hold at the thought of one of his delicious veggie wraps. "I'm starving."
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He didn't mean to be nosey. He really, really, truly, absolutely didn't!
It's just that you looked so... forlorn when you looked inside the tote. Steven got curious and merely wanted to see what had upset you so.
What he didn't anticipate, was rather cute, small, and well-loved toys! "Beanie Babies"; Marc had told him. "But why keep them in a tote?"
"I d'nno." Steven mumbled softly. "Bad memories? Gifts from a dead relative?"
Jake spoke up. "Well, whatever the case, maybe we should put them back--"
"Oooh! Look at this one! It's a hippo!" Steven cooed at the cute, purple little toy. "This one is called "Happy the Hippo"... And his birthday is..." He said as he read the colorful heart-shaped tag.
"Steven?" Your voice barked.
He jumped and dropped the little toy, his face lighting with a scarlet hue at being caught snooping.
"I--I--" He stammered.
"Wh-why are you..." You paled, beginning to feel a surge of panic sweep through you. The last time this happened....
"Hey, hey! It's okay." Steven said, quickly climbing to his feet to rush over to you. He rubbed your arms up and down as you pressed the heels of your palms to your eyes.
"Please don't be mad..." You say, biting back a soft sob.
"M... Mad?" He blinked, "Why on earth would I be mad at you? I'm the one who went through your things without permission!"
You look into his eyes; not picking up on a single hint of malice or mockery there, all you could see was... concern and sympathy?
"My--my B-Beanie Babies..." You blubber softly, looking over to the tote he'd been looking into.
"Y-yeah? What about them?" He asked, trying to follow your train of thought.
"My... My exes, they..." You sniffle. "They said they were stupid. That they were stupid little kid toys and as an adult I shouldn't have them..."
You swallow, "M-my ex boyfriend before you... He tried to throw them away because he said they were dumb... I've had most of them since I was little. I've taken good care of them, and..."
"Oh, love..." He breathed. "Did you think I'd have a problem with your collection? Is that why you're so scared?"
"I.... Yeah."
"Well, in case you haven't noticed... I have quite the collection myself." Steven giggled, looking around at his stacks of books, museum paraphernalia, bits and baubles... "Why would you think I'd have a problem with your Beanie Babies?"
"I... Everyone says they're a stupid hobby, that they're for kids--" You say hastily, as if trying to defend those that insulted something so precious to you. And that hurt him.
He leaned in and kissed your forehead affectionately, "Sweetheart, they're adorable. I didn't have Beanie Babies growing up. Mum was... Well. Things like that were for "girls"..."
"So you... Like them?" You ask hopefully.
"I love them!" He chirped cheerfully. "Why don't we get them out of that dreary old tote and put them on a special little shelf? Give them a view? Maybe they could overlook the fish tank!"
You sniffle again and nod, smiling gratefully as you wipe at your cheek. "Yeah... Yeah. We... We can do that?"
"Yep!" He kissed your cheek, "Because your Babies are my Babies... They're charming and cute... Now let's clear off a shelf for them!"
You watched, your heart squeezing so sweetly in your chest as he began to precariously climb atop his desk (and almost fell) to prepare the new place for your special collection.
Why did you ever think he'd make fun of you?
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shinestarhwaa · 5 months ago
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CALLIN || JEONG YUNHO
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Genre: Smut
Pairing: Yunho x Fem Reader
Word Count: 0.7K
Tags/Warnings: Established relationship AU, Idol!Yunho, Gf!yn, dirty language, unprotected sex, calling during sex, degrading, mild spanking, ateez mentioned
Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630 @stardragongalaxy @bro-atz @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mingisg00dgirl @vesvosmozhno @therealcuppicake @unholywriters @enbymingi @jjoongstar
ENJOY!
While your boyfriend Yunho's deep inside you, your phone rings. "B-Babe, babe stop it's Hongjoong, I have to take it," you whimper. Yunho smirks at you as he pushes into you harder from behind, hands gripping your ass tightly.
"Why do you give Hongjoong any attention while I'm fucking you," he grunts, not planning on stopping anytime soon. "Yunie!" You cry out, trying to reach for your phone. Finally you grab it and pick up the call. Yunho slows down his thrusts so it will be quieter, but he definitely does not stop fucking you.
Your breathing is still faster than normal when you pick up the phone."J-joong? Hi!" "Hi...? Why are you panting like that?" Hongjoong asks. "Oh, i-it's nothing, I was working out. What's up?" Yunho grinned and slapped your ass, only to tease you and get a reaction out of you.
You yelp and fall forward. "I'm okay! I'm okay I just nearly misstepped on the stairs!" You lie. "Ah... okay, be careful, Y/N," Hongjoong says. "I just wanted to remind you that the dinner changed from 7PM to 8PM tonight, so we'll pick you up around 7.45PM, yeah?"
"Y-Yes Hongjoong!" You say, but it sounded too whimpery. "What are you doing, Y/N?" Hongjoong asks again. "N-nothing, I've got to go now though, see you tonight!" You exclaimed before ending the call.
Yunho forces himself into you, balls deep without a warning. "Yes, Hongjoong huh? You want Hongjoong to fuck your little pussy?" Yunho grunts into your ear, "You want the Captain to fuck you until you cry? You know he doesn't have a cock like I do baby, none of them do, I could just split your pretty pussy open on my cock, baby."
You whine loudly as you feel tingles in your abdomen, and your breath quickens. "Please, please, I wanna cum, I wanna cum!" "Do you deserve it after this?" Yunho asks. "I-I didn't do anything!" You cry out.
"Admit that you want Hongjoong to fuck you and I might let you come. Admit that you want him to bend you over and stuff your pussy with his cum. Admit that you want him to fuck you in his studio. Fuck, we could use your moans in a song baby you'd sound so pretty. I'm sure you want that, don't you?"
You moan loudly and grasp onto the dark sheets. "Yes, yes, yes!" You're not sure if you're saying yes to fucking Hongjoong or being fucked into oblivion by Yunho but either way all you could get out is yes.
Yunho rams into you one more time before your body shakes and comes undone on his cock. "That's it baby, that's my little slut, wanting to fuck my whole team huh? Bet you're dreaming about all of them. Well maybe you should fuck them, so you'll be reminded of who's got the best fucking cock baby, because I do."
He growls into your ear as he finally comes, spurting his hot cum into your pussy and filling you up. He moans when he pulls out, watching his cum drip from your abused hole.
Yunho smirks as he watches you close your eyes and pant out his name softly. "You did well, baby. You might wanna get up and hop into the shower though because you smell like sex," he says, kissing your back and giving your ass another spank, to which you whimper.
~
"I'm telling you they were doing it!" Hongjoong shrieks. "No, they would never do that. We're talking about Y/N and Yunho here," San says naively. "I'm telling you, it was too moaney for it to be a normal situation. They were fucking." "I'm sure they weren't," Yeosang says, right before your door opens, revealing you and your boyfriend holding hands. "Yeah we were," Yunho simply says before entering the car. The guys stand in front of your door in shock before going back into the car too.
Simply said, it was an awkward car ride.
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kpopscruggles · 4 months ago
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The people are asking for more txt twt links w/ Headcons and your thoughts! Love ur writing and maybe a sunghoon nsfw alphabet? I read some and it's a bit innacurate.. Would love your opinion on it (also new follower so idk much abt if u already posted that *I'll do some reseach :>*)
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Thank you for requesting love! I decided to go with the sunghoon a-z because I've never done one and I've alr made a haechan request! 
Nsfw twt are on hold due to me finding some but soon I will bring those back! Anway's enjoy! 
A- aftercare, what he’s like after sex 
I feel he def attends to your needs, he’s at least doing the basics. Wiping you down, getting you cold water and a snack. I feel like he also does this though because he does it for himself if I'm being honest.  
Even if you didn’t care he was going to do it for himself so why not make sure his baby is taken care of too? It just makes sense to him. 
B- body part, their favorite on theirs and partner's body 
For him, his favorite body part on himself has to be his muscle. He’s not loke drooling over himself more than he is you but he does give himself good rep because he can pick you up, move you into diffrent positions with absolutely no problem. So i feel he values his muscles because of you in a sense. 
His favorite body part on you is your legs, he loves your legs. He loves how they are always in his lap, wrapped around his waist, on his shoulders. He loves kissing your ankles while ponding into you, also bonus points if you're wearing an ankle. 
C- cum, anything to do with cum 
I think he’s a clean guy UNLESS it involves a creampie. If he’s wanting you to swallow then he’s staying in your mouth, you must bribe him little to give you a facial or pearl necklace. Now like I said if it’s a creampie it’s sticky, messy, a shower after type fuck.  
Add in is I do believe he cums a lot, now realistic but he's got a nice stream going and is the type to squeeze his tip to make sure every bit comes out.  
D- dirty secret, self-explanatory  
Hoon’s got a few dirty secrets I believe but I think the main one he possesses and will never let you know unless you find out is bragging. And although this does not seem off but it's the fact, he could do the nastiest freaky things to you and has no shame in bragging about it when the boys try to tease him over it.  
This is something that he says between the boys and the boys, he doesn't get too personal with it, but he spills it by saying it’s something they should try with their girlfriends. 
E- experience, do they know what they are doing? 
I think if he had experience it's only have been one person. Hoon doesn’t strike me as the type who bounces around, for example you two could have dated months and he’s going to be sad ab it for a bit because he takes him time to know if he wants to date or not. 
So, one person but he’s mostly learned everything he’s fond of by himself, by watching porn, reading about it, etc.  
F- favorite position 
I don't think Hoon is basic, but he does use positions that slightly branch from the basic ones. Also keep in mind he finds ways to use his muscle. So, it falls under missionary, but he most has your legs on his shoulders and his moving your hips for you. It allows him to use his arm muscles, he's able to kiss around your ankles because he loves your legs. If not that then most the time it is quite simple missionary. 
G- goofy 
No, unless a simple mistake happens, he's profoundly serious cause he thinks sex is intimate. 
H- hair, how groomed is he? 
I think he keeps himself groomed and trimmed is his favorite. I think there is something about him that likes to keep the bit of hair because it is a human body and its gonna grow. Now he’s not freaking out if it grows a bit longer than planned nor is he judging you because your pussy is pretty to him no matter what. 
I- intimacy, how are they during the moment 
Super intimate, sex is a moment where in your relationship you're showing each other love and affection. Even after an argument sex is something that helps you both realize you love each other. He’ll do anything to have intimate moments with you because he genuinely does cherish them.  
J- jack off, how often? 
A lot. I am a firm believer Hoon has a perverted side and sometimes he’s too embarrassed to admit a simple thing got him hard.  
I also do believe he’s a firm believer of the fact no one can make you cum like yourself. He thinks you should even have moments where even though you have him you nor he should be ashamed of pleasuring yourself 
K- kinks? Top three 
Top three for him is Marking, Teasing, and A bit of overstimulation?  
Many people like to make these kinks rough, but they don't have to be. He likes marking because to him he loves when you nibble on his skin while he fucks you, He loves seeing you squirm a little or having you leave him with a raging boner even, overstimulation he likes because to him it kind of reveals how much or how eager you two wants each other with no shame or remorse for yourself to stop.  
L- Location, favorite places  
He enjoys just sex in the house (he may like the couch more than the bed) but if he’s out he doesn't mind meeting you somewhere private. It’s strange he has that vibe too because I also feel like he gives car sex after a few dates. 
M- motivation, what riles him up 
Anything you do sexually obviously riles him up but something nonsexual that gets him every.single.time, is when you wear certain colors. He thinks romantic colors like red, pink a dark purple, or a nice clean white takes him out every time, double points of the outfit is revealing 
N- no, turn offs 
He’s jealous that something I'll has to agree with most people on this app. Does that mean he won't share? Not technically. (not shipping when I say this) but he won't do threesomes unless it's with someone close, we can you jake as an example. But he’s only gonna do it once and all jake is getting is head. 
Another ultimate turn off is when things feel forced, not like one forcing the other but more of if he feels you are just having sex because you haven't in like a week, yeah, it’s not getting up so don't bother babe, he thinks sex takes time.  
O- oral, preference of giving or receiving 
He prefers giving, I believe. It doesn’t bother him when you wanna give him head, he just doesn’t feel that same ego boosts as when has got you whining while he’s fucking you with his tongue. So, unless he just has the urge to cut down your throat, he’s probably gonna stop your mid-way to ravish you instead. 
P- pace, fast? Rough? Slow? Sensual? 
He’ll get down with everything I do believe. I think if he’s feeling more sensual, he’s keeping his thrusts slow and deep so that orgasm just builds up by the minute. Rough, this is my opinion, but a lot of ppl do make him seem the be super rough, but I don’t think he’s like that and if he is it’s only when you're asking for it. Other than that, his rough is a lil messy and a couple marks but I also think he keeps a medium pace and just makes sure every inch of him fills you. 
Q- quickie? 
So, when I said in the turn off category, he thinks sex takes time. If you get a quickie outta him it’s a giving you head quickie because if his baby needs to cum he’ll gladly help. Other than that, I don't believe out of enha he's a quickie guy. 
R- risk, what are they willing to risk for sex with you? 
If you seem eager to do it, then he’s making his baby happy. If it’s not ruining anything in any way, he’ll do it for you. If it’s something he’s willing to risk, then it was never important is what he'll tell you. 
S- stamina? How many rounds 
I think he can carry about three rounds in his belt, if it's a needy situation 4 but if that's the case then 1 or 2 of the sessions someone is getting head so eventually your guy's breath is caught up. I do believe he spaces these sessions out if it's a 4 rounder but barely does this happen. Other than that, he’s going about three rounds  
T- toys, do they like them? 
Yes, so as said, he does think it’s healthy for you two to have sessions by yourself and you can use toys together but if you two use them when it’s just your personal time.  
U- unfair? Do they often tease? 
He thinks it builds up the need for others. He would love it if you teased him too. I see him as a competition teaser where you two see who gives in first. 
V- volume? Are they vocal? 
He’s a 50/50, what he’s always gonna do is dirty talk, no matter if it’s whispering or full-blown words. Now vocal as moaning wise, he lets out the soft moans, but only the overstimulation hit where he gets louder. 
W- wild card? Something that just randomly makes him relentless 
Knowing someone's listening or watching, or even knowing what you just did. If you are leaving your space after sex and one of the guys makes it obvious then he's getting hard again knowing there’s someone who knew he got to be balls deep inside you. It riles him up knowing he’s that lucky and that someone is jealous enough to tease and try to make fun.  
X- x-ray? What's he giving down there? 
I think he’s skinny but decently big. His tip always stays a pink, he’s got a couple semi prominent veins depending on how long he’s been edge or has held a boner. His balls are settled too, nothing rlly different there, like said he’s nice and trimmed so has a little hair patch. All around he gives pretty dick vibes.  
Y- yearning? High or low sex drive? 
High or normal. Most the time high which I feel is why he’s a guy who takes his time, this man is not thinking about being buried in your cunt 24 hours of the day just for a quick fuck.  
Z- zzzz, how fast he falls asleep after 
He’s tired but he’s not going to sleep without letting you know he loves you and that he enjoyed making you cum, sometimes even tells you thank you. Give a couple of kisses and make sure you're comfy.  
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