#THEY DO HATE THE FANS THO THATS MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION ON PIES CHARACTERIZATION

[thesunshinydays]

hello everyone welcome to my “the philly pies players are nice because the flans are ready and willing to kill them” talk hope youre all ready for my nice pies agenda (sorry this is long im on my phone browser and i cant figure out how to a readmore)

anyway, so pies fans are like, absolutely willing to get our worst players incinerated. we love all of our players, we really do. but we also want to win. we know what ascension does now, and we are still talking about trying to get pies to the up (or eeby deeby, if you prefer) even though the text about ascension is crossed out in The Book. like, we spent my entire first season of blaseball trying to get our worst hitter, kennedy cena incinerated. hes a clone of both john f kennedy and john cena, (aka johnjohn) and we were so enthusiastic about the meme of him getting assassinated that we renamed one of our discord channels “grassy-knoll”, (we didnt get him incinerated but we did get him sent to the shadows). we have the bot in our side discord set to react with the fire emoji to our current worst pitcher, nicholas mora. we dont actually hate either of these players. we love them both so much. but we’d love them to be on fire more and i feel like in fics people assume that because the pies fans are so ruthless that the players are also ruthless, which i cant reconcile with the image of the team you get when you look at their lore. like jess made SKATE JUICE which she supplies to jaxon buckley so he can power his robotic arm. that same SKATE JUICE left in a bottle grew the fungus that would become jode preston. yeong-ho benitez left clues that amounted to an unsolvable arg in the wake of their incineration which includes old episodes of “my roomie ruslan” and the whole team gets together to watch and try to solve the puzzles they left in remembrance. the only philly pies centric fic i can find on ao3 is about how betsy swapped with jaylen so she could get away from the baggage of her debt and the pies immediately took her in and initiated her by flipping over a car together as a team bonding exercise. the pies are friends!! they are nice and they love each other!!! and they are kind to each other even with swaps!!! why???? its the fans putting pressure on jess. the fans who opened the book and killed jaylen and brought her back to kill everyone else. the fans who keep trying to get their johnjohns and nic moras incinerated. what would be the point of being cold or cruel to each other when we the fans are already out here lighting matches threateningly in the background??? they support each other and even other teams, is my opinion, because if they wont who will? blaseball is a horror game, so pies players choose kindness, thanks for coming to my tedtalk