jennoasis

[ruvviks]

In the fourth and final season of All That's Left, Mac and Layla and their friends are left with one final job; travel back to fallen Opportunity, the city where it all began, to gather evidence of Matrix Corp creating the virus that led to the end of the world, sabotaging cure research, and being responsible for the destruction of the megalopolis. Hunted down on two fronts, having lost dear friends along the way, and faced with hordes of nearly unkillable mutated ghouls, the group is slowly but surely starting to run out of time. One last journey, to expose the truth about Matrix and shut them down once and for all— but who will live to tell the tale? [SEASON ONE HERE] // [SEASON TWO HERE] // [SEASON THREE HERE]

taglist (opt in/out)

@velocitic, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @gurathins;

@mojaves, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption;

@ncytiri, @calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm;

@strafethesesinners, @fashionablyfyrdraaca, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian, @estevnys;

@elgaravel, @aezyrraeshh, @carlosoliveiraa

[usmsgutterson]

Nothing Feels As Good As Going Home - S.R

Okay!! My ao3 did see this one first (I had edited it late last night and honestly?? I was too lazy to post it on both platforms because I edited it on ao3 and was too lazy to copy, paste, and then write an authors note lmao) and I'm pretty unsure about this as a whole because I'm only eight seasons in and I haven't written for Spencer before, but I'm conquering my fears tonight.

Despite my bio (which will be changed at least fifteen minutes after this has been posted--I have two accounts and I want to do some maintenance for this one because it needs a little TLC I fear) my requests are currently open!! They're wide open to Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan and Aaron Hotchner, even though I'd also likely be willing to write for another criminal minds character if you asked.

Fic type - this one is tooth rotting fluff because I couldn't resist

Warnings - spencer might be a tad ooc because this is the first time I've written for him. This is also set either in or around season eight as, when I wrote this, I was about halfway through that season and I'm currently close to 2/3rds of the way done with it. Cats are also in this one, if you aren't a cat person.

Spencer used to hate going home. He felt like he’d never really know what would be going on the minute he opened the front door and stepped inside, and after his father left, that fear intensified bit by bit.  

After his father left, he never knew what it would mean, going home, so he stalled. He’d go to a local park and sit on a bench and read a few books in an hour, maybe two, in order to escape the fear he felt at the idea of going home when he had no idea what would be going on in that house, whether his mother was okay that day or not.  

When he went to college and was living in the dorms, he hated going back because it meant more isolation. More loneliness, more of the same, really. Only his books to keep him company and just about nobody else, unless Ethan called, which he usually did two or three times a week. Ethans calls were one of the only things that really helped him when he wasn’t looking after his mother whenever he was on break, typically around the winter and during the summer.  

After having his mother institutionalised, he feared going home because it meant that she wasn’t there, and the guilt that came with having her taken into a facility when it wasn’t something she wanted weighed down on him very heavily.  

In those last two years pre-FBI, he hated going home because it meant more of the same. More loneliness, more of the same nature documentaries he'd seen a thousand times before if he wasn't putting on the news, and more books that he’d already read several times before haunting him from wherever it was that they sat on his bookshelves, which had been scattered throughout most rooms in his apartment.  

But he joined the FBI at twenty-one and managed to meet you somewhere along that year, found out that you’d just started working with the Marshals and had lived only twenty five minutes out from Arlington, which put you about fifteen from Quantico as a whole, and he started hating going home a lot less after you guys had been together for four months.  

After four months of dates and getting to know each other, getting home usually meant going on another date or Spencer finally getting the opportunity to call you and stay on the phone for longer than fifteen minutes.  

Spencer is very careful about your relationship, though—very secretive, though he doesn’t really mean to be, to avoid teasing from Derek and, four or so years down the line, Emily and JJ, though even Rossi joined in on occasion.

It’s not until he’s on the jet, Alex sitting to his left, JJ across him and Derek diagonally so, that he has to spill the beans.  

He gets a text from you and it’s the way that he smiles that gives it away.  

Hey, Spence! I cleaned up the house a little bit and went to grab your favourite coffee beans from the bodega we both like. Also: meet Megatron. Her name deceives.  

Attached is a photo of a kitten that can’t be more than four or five weeks old, dark brown everywhere except for her paws and chin, which are white.  

“Who’s the lucky one, boy genius?” Derek asks.  

“Huh?” Spencer looks up, eyes widened slightly. “It’s nobody.”  

JJs head tilts. “You wouldn’t smile like that for a nobody,” she says. “Who is it?”  

“Is it the one with the dark blue Prius--” Alex starts before she pauses, realizing where she's fumbled. That gets Rossi and Hotch interested, both of whom come to sit in the seats across from the four.  

Alex is the only one on the team who knows about you apart from Penelope, which is pure happenstance—his car had broken down once when both she and Spencer had worked a late night, and so you’d offered to pick him up from work so that the two of you could go back to the house you shared and indulge in a shark documentary and some pizza.  

“It is,” Spencer nods. “Their name is Y/N.”  

“How long have you had a Y/N?” Derek asks.  

“Since I was twenty-one,” Spencer admits. “About a decade now.”  

“You kept a romantic partner hidden for a decade ?” Derek asks. “How? Does--”  

“Penelope knows about them because they’re in the group she goes to on Tuesdays,” Spencer says. “The one for knitting and crocheting—Y/N does the latter, mostly, but they did knit the cardigan I was wearing last week.”  

“And how did Penelope figure out about the thing you two have had going on?”  

“It’s more than a thing , Derek,” Alex says. “If it’s been going for a decade, it’s more than a thing.”  

“We’d gotten done with a case early, and Penelope had left pretty much as soon as we were on the jet so that she could make it to the aforementioned group. I asked them where they were and picked them up with their favourite tea as a surprise. Penelope saw me there, watched us hug, and just about lost her mind. Have I satisfied your thirst for knowledge yet?”  

He turns to Alex briefly, nods a bit to answer her earlier remark. “I just proposed last weekend, so you’re right. It’s more than just a thing I would say.”  

Derek and JJs eyes widen until their shock is clearly conveyed, and Spencer laughs.  

“You have a fiancee, and you just—didn't think to fucking tell anybody?” Derek laughs. “Were you ever going to tell us?”  

“I was—we've been busy with work, and it didn’t occur to me.”  

“Okay,” JJ nods like she believes it, and that’s good enough for Spencer because he’s telling the truth anyway. “What was the text about?”  

Spencer shrugs, paraphrases.  

“They wrote me to tell me they’d cleaned up the house and picked up a stray, I think,” Spencer answers. “I mean, the stray part wasn't explicitly stated but—the kitten doesn’t look more than four weeks old, so the assumption was immediate, but they know I can’t say no to cats. They’ve been hoping that they’d find a stray while I was on a case since we first moved into a condo together. We bought our house six months ago now, and they’ve joked, every single time before I’ve left for a case, that it’s the perfect time.”  

“What’d they name it?” Rossi asks. “Assuming they didn’t ask for your input. I wouldn’t--I’d have a kitten named Einstein who could never live up to that.”  

Spencer can’t help the loving laugh that bubbles up from his throat as his fingers absently locate the chain around his neck, with an engagement ring of his own weighing the chain down just slightly so that the ring sits comfortably at the middle of his collarbone.  

“They named her Megatron,” he says nonchalantly. “Smallest cat I’ve ever seen, and still, she’s got big shoes to fill. Massive ones, actually.”  

That is enough to get Hotch to crack a smile. For a second, Spencer feels like he’s winning even though a game isn’t even being played.  

“Okay, so—how did you do it?” JJ asks. “I mean—ten years and a recent engagement? With only two people on our team discovering through that entire time? How?”  

“Penelope figured it out three years in,” Spencer answers. “Alex only figured it out recently, which is kind of surprising because I’ve never exactly hidden their existence. I just haven't talked about them because nobody has ever really asked but—I don’t know, either. We kept it low key because we both work law enforcement and it was just easier that way for the first little while, and then we both decided we liked the quiet so we kept things that way.”  

“They work in law enforcement?” Derek asks, his eyes narrowing. “Are they FBI?”  

“They’re a Deputy US Marshal, actually,” Spencer corrects. “They work in the Virginia office, which is 45 minutes outside of Quantico, up in Arlington. It’s why I have a twenty five minute commute—we both like our jobs a lot, and twenty-five minutes for me one way is only eighteen minutes for them the other, but I like driving so I don’t mind. They’re in talks for a promotion right now, and they were meant to hear about it today but so far their texts haven’t indicated anything about that.”  

It’s the most Spencer has told anyone except his mother about you since you’d gotten together, and while you both normally like to keep things quiet, bragging about you to the people he routinely trusts with his life is a very nice feeling.  

“US Marshal?” JJ asks. “They pretty commonly hire ex-military,” she says.  

“They’ve never been anywhere near the military,” Spencer laughs. “They did a two year degree at a community college, went to Glynco for training, and were employed by the US Marshals by twenty-one, around the same time I joined the FBI. We met each other at a coffee shop when they were off of work and their local one was closed, so our meeting was kismet.”  

Spencers phone buzzes again, and he ignores it that time. 

Alex grins at him, while Derek tuts and JJs eyes go to his phone as it buzzes once, then twice more, the fourth buzz coming four and a half seconds after the first, second, and third.  

“Check it,” she urges. “The jet is going to land in fifteen minutes, Spencer, so if it’s good news, you might as well.”  

SPENCER!! 

I have really really REALLY good news 

Please tell me your jet is landing soon or the very minute it’s landed call me please because you work twenty five minutes away and that means I can call and order from Antonios and by the time you’re home, you’ll only have to wait five minutes for pizza.  

Also, Megatrons full name is Megatron Ichabod Reid. Just so you know. I love you so much you stupid smart handsome tall man.  

Spencer doesn’t even try to fight his laugh as he reads.

“Good news?” Derek asks.  

“I think they got promoted, but I won’t know for sure til I’m home,” Spencer answers. “Also--Megatrons full name is apparently Megatron Ichabod Reid—their texts read like they’re hyper.”  

“I’d be pretty hyper if I got news of a promotion,” Rossi says. “Let us know if they did, though, kid. I’m hosting a dinner to celebrate your engagement regardless, but if they got promoted, it’s another thing to celebrate on the roster, and all the more of an excuse to meet the person you’ve kept hidden from the likes of us for a decade.”  

“You guys ordering Antonios?” Alex asks. “You mentioned getting Antonios for dinner the day after I saw you two together. I’m assuming it’s their favourite pizza spot—you don’t really seem like the pizza type. More like a pasta guy.”  

“We both love it,” Spencer answers. “There’s no pizza like Antonios—not where we live, anyway. It’s the middle ground between Quantico and Arlington, so there’s not a whole lot to do unless you drive either way.”  

“Antonios makes a good pizza,” Rossi nods.  

“Their pasta is better,” Hotch interjects. Spencer shakes his head, tries to go back to the book that’s sitting on the table in front of him but fails miserably, waits for the fifteen minutes til the jet lands to be done whilst the rest of the team talks amongst themselves.  

The second the jet lands, as he’s walking out of it, he dials your number and you pick up on the first ring.  

“Spencer Walter Reid, light of my life and giver of astoundingly lovely forehead kisses, please tell me you’ve landed,”  

Spencer laughs. “Just did,” he says. “The team knows about us now, by the way—I smiled when you texted and that lead to Derek questioning me, so there’s that. Also, if the good news is what I think it is, Rossi wants to hold a celebration dinner as an excuse to meet you. He fronted it with our engagement first, but I think he’s just shocked we’ve kept each other under wraps that long.”  

“You like Megatrons name?” You ask, giggling a bit, seemingly in spite of yourself. “I’m sorry, Spence—I'm hyper as hell, bouncing off the walls type. I’m going to open a bottle of wine, see if it calms me down a little. Get home as fast as you can, though! I miss your handsome face!”  

“Just gotta finish a file or two and then I’ll be home,” he says. “If you order the pizza now, I’ll only be like, five minutes late—the pizza won’t be scalding, like it usually is because of their ridiculously well-working warmer bags.”  

“I love you, Spence,” you say, tone turning a little serious. “Get home safe, please.”  

“I will,” Spencer nods. “You okay?”  

“Hyper but yearning,” you laugh. “I just miss you, ‘s all.”  

“I miss you too,” he says. “I’ll be home in forty minutes, tops. I promise.”  

The phone call ends, and he doesn’t miss the knowing smiles that are on Derek and Rossis faces. JJ is looking at him mildly confused as the tone of the conversation changed near it’s end, but he doesn’t want to explain, and so he chooses not to say anything.  

He goes back into the office, completes what remains of the files he has to work on, and after he submits the paperwork in to Hotch, he just about speed walks out of the office, toward the elevators.  

Derek is leaving at the same time as he is. “Goin’ home to Megatron and the singular person who’s managed to keep up with you for the past decade?” He asks teasingly as the doors close.    

“Yeah,” Spencer laughs. “I know you guys will tease me about it til the end of my time here, but—yeah. I get to go home to a stray cat the love of my life probably found in the parking lot of a Joanns, and the love of my life themself.”  

“I’m all done with my teasing, for now,” Derek says. “I’m just a little confused—why'd you keep them from us for this long?”  

“I don’t know,” Spencer admits. “When we’d first started dating, they’d just started out with the Marshals and they were scared having a partner in the FBI would get them special treatment, and then, when the stuff with Tobias Hankel happened and I got into Dialudid, I was scared that I’d make an enemy and then they’d find out about Y/N and use them to hurt me, and it just—we’re the quiet type, so we had reasons til we stopped needing them. I was going to tell you guys before we got engaged, but stuff has just kept happening so quickly in these past couple of years, and it’s kept slipping my mind.”  

Derek shrugs, but smiles understandingly. “I get it,” he says. “Lookin’ forward to that dinner Rossi is planning, though. I can’t wait to meet the singular person who probably would let you talk their ear off because they find you handsome or like your voice or something else that’s really sweet. You have a good night, Spence.”  

The elevator dings and the doors open, and the two leave separately. Spencer drives a little above the speed limit in the interest of getting home, which isn’t something he’d ever thought he’d do but is doing that night because it’s been a week since you’d last seen each other and he misses you like mad.  

When he inserts his key into the lock, unlocks the door and steps inside, he’s not filled with dread or fear or anxiety or loneliness or anything like that—instead, it feels like exactly what it’s supposed to.  

As he steps out of his shoes, hangs his bag on the coat rack and hears the sound of your laugh, he registers just how much the place he calls home feels like the word used to describe it.  

As he greets you with a hug and a few kisses to the forehead, it feels so much like home that it almost causes an ache in his chest. As you tell him about your promotion from Deputy to Chief Deputy and he hears Megatron the cat meow for the first time, happiness swells within him. Home, for the first time in his life, truly feels like a home. A place where he can unwind and be with those he truly loves, a place in which happiness is practically never-ending.  

Going home has never felt so good as going home to you, and Spencer is unsure anything will ever beat it.  

[n7punk]

Adventures in unlicensed buffoonary! Recently this SPOP "Trivia book" got listed on Ebay, which was baffling to me both because I had never seen it before and because it was listed for two hundred fucking dollars

My gut instinct was "this isn't real" because again, I'm a freak who knows all these things, and yeah I can confirm this is bullshit.

Clayton Gallagher makes himself scarce online (probably to hide out from the lawyers), so I couldn't find any social media or a website for him - not to mention it's the name of a character from one of the Shameless shows to fuzz the radar - but he seems to exclusively create "trivia" and activity books based on random popular... things. Mostly shows (Trollhunters, the Amazing World of Gumball, etc) but also some... other things (Dolly Parton for some reason??).

He has created not one, but FOUR trvia books for She-ra, all using stolen/promotional art but that carefully never include any official endorsement or mention of Dreamworks, Netflix, Mattel, or Filmation. I'm highly convinced these things were written with AI, mostly due to things like the below excerpt from the first book's summary:

Like. Jesus christ. Maybe it's just a second language thing but the lack of spaces screams machine bullshit and we'll look at the insides later.

Okay so the first book came out on August 19th 2021 (another reason I lean towards AI) and features the debut season art. All the others came out on August 20th 2021 (literally a day later) and feature the season two art, stolen licensed book cover art (from Island of the Magical Creatures), and the season four teaser art (Rebellion variant).

I can only find these things available as e-books but apparently, supposedly, this one eBay seller has a rare physical paperback, which surely must make it worth 270$. I fully don't believe this is a real paperback unless it was self-printed. I think you either get a shitty slapped-together print out or a puff of smoke if you order this.

Now lets get into the stunning content. They all start with the cover art and then the same incredibly generic header

After about two seconds of investigation I see this is a pattern with all his trivia books across franchises. They all start like this and have identical copyright pages as well. Instead of taking four screenshots to show content is identical, just trust me from here on out everything is exactly the same across the She-ra books, including chapter headings, formatting, and trivia questions. These are just cover swaps.

The final chapters cut off here are "Chapter 6" and "See you later", neither of which has a page number. Again, this awkward phrasing is either written by AI or the author is ESL and I'm pretty 50/50 split on which. Let's get into the "trivia" and see if it solves it, shall we?

So. A couple things.

Yes, it DOES have a fill-in the blank for you to write your name even though this was clearly intended to be primarily, if not exclusively, an e-book. That's bold innovation!

They start off strong with a misspelling of quiz in the fucking header.

The formatting is godawful (point to AI for inconsistency, any human would see the obvious problems here as they work - or if they cared enough to glance at the output, which they clearly don't. Why is there a random A. out of nowhere?).

The trivia questions are awful (is She-ra an America streaming show? You think this counts as trivia that a kid - the obvious target demographic - wants to know? Second, I KNOW you're saying streaming because you're so scared of the word Netflix but somehow you're not worried about using the show logo and literally stealing the promotional art for the cover?).

The trivia answers are awful. Mama? Really? Maria is the only kind of good option because it's close to Mara to trip kids up or whatever, but also none of these are "other names" for She-ra! Adora and Mara are people who bear the title of She-ra, but you can't say "Genocide Joe" is another name for president, that's not how titles work! If you wanted to use this question, the answer would be "Princess of Power".

(Also lol at the answer key for question 2 now being wrong. Shit that might have been wrong at the time, when did Nate choose a new name? 2021? 2022? All those years blur together).

Okay I know you've all been on the edge of your seat about that last question cut off at the bottom of the page and yes, it is as factually wrong as you're expecting, and only gets worse as we settle firmly into the "AI" territory.

More lists because jesus christ.

Everyone knows Adora is She-ra. This is not a secret. The answer is every member of the Rebellion and most random citizens. 5 is equally stupid given yes, they never existin the same space at the same time, but people always watch Adora transform before their eyes. The grammar is also bad, but whatever, this does segue into the next questions.

Question six is when it becomes obvious what happened: the writer fed prompts into an AI without fact-checking anything and the AI gave back answers related both to the reboot and to the original. He-man canonically does not exist - he isn't just not mentioned for legal reasons, Mattel said he straight up could not exist or ever be hinted at (due to not existing) - in SPOP. 7 is once again completely untrue in the reboot. Adora came through a portal - not necessarily kidnapped, not from Eternia, and again, no Adam

Why is only Sunna's name in black for question 9. Mostly shocked they spelled her name right.

Things somehow manage to fall apart even more in the final remaining questions available in the Kindle preview sample!

Genuinely have no idea what the answer to 15 is supposed to be. "What is the original country of SPOP have?" isn't a sentence. All I can figure is you're supposed to pick America as it's the country of origin, but I don't trust this book to even have an answer key at the end, so who knows. All that said, Earth was canon in the original, so this might be (intended to be) related to the 80s series.

The Cure took me out.

Okay but Adora isn't leading the "Great" Rebellion!! She's definitely a major leader on the field, but the answer is Angella! There is no correct option here! If they said "the Princess Alliance" I would let that go because you could argue she is the leader of the Princesses, but the rebellion? No, that's the whole military and Angella/Glimmer lead that.

17. THE ANSWER IS ANGELLA. I fully do not believe you're supposed to pick false here, this is not a trick question, they're just wrong (see question above for evidence they're stupid)

They don't even call it the Great Rebellion in the reboot....

The sample ran out and I'm not paying money to feed this AI bullshit but I don't expect it to improve from here.

Anyway this was an interesting display of Bullshit and fuck AI generated books fr

[p0ssywhippedcream]

Apollo + love at at first sight ?! It's cliche, corny and kinda dumb, but hell if I don't want to see what you can do with it cuz it's just too cute for me to not ask!

A coffee shop, the best part of Apollo's day. It's about four in the morning and there are currently two customers inside it. You and him.

You're perched on a squeaky chair, a cup of hot cocoa cooling in your hand as you type on your laptop with your other. One leg is folded under another, creating a half criss-cross and your hair is messy as you brush a piece out of your face. And like always, you're the first thing Apollo notices.

He comes here every morning to get a pick-me-up cup of Joe before the exhausting job of driving the sun and he's noticed that every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, he can count on your presence by the window.

You're a college student; the constantly tired eyes, inevitable personal library and your university's name printed in bold on your sweatshirt prove it. Despite having all the reasons to be cranky, you're a wonderfully cheery and warm person.

Sometimes Apollo comes in before you and when that happens, he stands against the wall, sipping his to-go cup as he watches the door. When you come in, you wave at the workers and greet them by name, always finding his eyes and giving him a soft smile and a tilt of your head.

Gods, he's so in love with you. He has been since that Saturday you wandered in with books and stress piled in your hands. You had noticed him waiting for his order besides you and complimented his sun glasses.

"Do you not like the sun?" You followed it up with.

He chuckled, "Oh no, the sun is a beauty but I've got enough of it as is."

You gave him a curious grin, "I don't think I'll ever get enough of the sun. It's my favorite part of my day, you know, watching it rise in the sky."

His tan cheeks turned a shade redder than usual. "Is that so?"

"Yeah," Your name is called and you plucked your drink from the counter, "It reminds me of tomorrow. As long as the sun keeps coming up, I will always have another chance."

You handed him his cup that had been waiting patiently and unseen on the counter top and cheers-d him.

"I can see why you don't want it any more though," The words floated over your shoulder as you swayed to your already-claimed table, "You've got a nasty sunburn."

Apparently, his blush had been worse than he thought.

Today, you looked more relaxed than usual. You also looked like you got a full eight hours of rest, which was new. Apollo traced your figure with hearts in his eyes as he waited for his order.

You finished a sentence, took a swing of hot cocoa and looked up for the first time in ten minutes. Your eyes found his and instantly lit up, a gentle smile played on your lips as you gave him a short wave.

He took that as his cue to come over.

"Whatcha working on?" He asked once he was close enough, about a foot away from your table.

"My final for English. You have to write about something that inspires you." Apollo opens his mouth to talk but is interrupted by his name, echoed by a worker as they hold out his coffee. He excuses himself, and returns quickly with the cup pressed to his lips.

"So, what inspires you?" He asks, and he really wants to know.

"You."

His breath stops, he might've died if he was mortal. That's the power you have over him.

"Me?"

"You come here everyday. You wear the same clothes, same glasses, same expression. The decor changes from season to season, new workers come and go and new customers try new drinks. But you're constant."

His head is tilted as he looks down at you. You're sure of your assessment but it's not mean as you say it, your words kissed with your stunning smile as they leave your mouth.

"I'm constant." He repeats.

"I count on you, Apollo," It's the first time you've said his name, obviously knowing it from baristas. The effect is has on him is embarrassing, his cheeks burning easily, "You're what I know I will find in the morning. You're my sun, even if you weren't named after the god of it."

Suddenly, your cheeks redden as you realize what you've said to a practical stranger. Your eyes fall from where they had stayed on his up until now.

"I happen to be more than named after the sun god, but I appreciate the compliment." He gives you a shiny smile and you return it, albeit a littler shyer.

"And anyways, I feel the same about you. You make my mornings. At least, my mornings on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays."

You giggle and meet his eyes again. Mirth, joy and something deeper dances in there and your smile grows. You reach across the table and move several books out of the way, gesturing for him to sit across from you.

Apollo places his to-go cup on the wood and plops down with a new conversation starter already on his tongue. The rest of the world could wait for him, but you've waited enough. And the sun always shines on those he loves.

[yumeka-sxf]

1-year anniversary post and future projects

My blog turned 1-year old today! 😃 (I also have a new blog banner and profile pic for the occasion!) I was lowkey hoping I'd hit the 1,000 follower milestone before then, but I got close - about 890 followers as of now! I'm very humbled that so many people enjoy my SxF content ❤️ Thank you all so much for your Likes, Reblogs, and kind messages~ Even though I wish I had joined the SxF fandom sooner, better late than never! The series has been around for about four years now, which is still a relatively short time for a popular shonen manga. So I'm hoping there will be plenty more SxF content to indulge in for years to come!

As you've probably seen, I've been reblogging my Twiyor analysis posts as a build-up to my continuation of that project for season 2 of the anime. And I'm happy to report that my planned start date for new analysis posts will be Tuesday, December 12th! On that day I'll post the new installment, Part 19, with a new post each Tuesday after until I finish covering the season 2 episodes. I know it seems like I'm dragging it out, but it takes a long time for me to not only write each post, but to revise and proofread them as well...the more chances I get to proofread my posts over time, the better they turn out. I also want to make sure I don't get too far ahead of the current episodes (since I still want to make the posts manga-spoiler free as much as possible). Since season 2 is only going to be 12 episodes, there won't be as many posts as last time, but the topics are just as compelling! I've been so excited to finally delve into analyzing the cruise arc 😄

I should also mention that late December/early January are going to be very busy times for the fandom: there's the movie release, the game release, the season finale, another art book that I'll want to scan, and the light novel being released in English! Of course I'll be making posts covering all of this, as well as my usual merch and chapter/episode review posts. I'm also planning to do some kind of post mini-series for the game where I write about my experiences with it in a daily journal kind of format. We'll see...there's going to be so much to cover at the end of the year, I hope I won't get overwhelmed 😅

Anyway, thank you all again for a wonderful year of SxF goodness~ Here's to many more years of joy from our beloved fake family!

[miladyh]

Four the Love of a Nutcracker

Summary: One Christmas in Hyrule, a girl buys herself a nutcracker with four colors. Before she knows it, mysterious things begin to happen around her. What is the secret of her new “friend”? And who is the one-eyed man who seems to know him? A Linked Universe x Nutcracker crossover. Four x Reader pairing.

Genre: Fluff, Light Hurt/Comfort, Romance

Rating: G

AO3 Link, if you prefer: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52453850

A/N: Hello! Welcome to the first fic I've written in a very, very long time! It will be multi-chapter; it will not be finished by Christmas. I don't have a lot of time available for writing right now, so I'm aiming for spring on this. Rest assured: it will be finished eventually. Next, I recommend you read The Nutcracker and the Mouse King by E.T.A. Hoffman (available in the public domain). While my story will not closely follow its plot, it will be fun if you can spot the references. ;) Lastly, have a Happy and Merry Christmas!

---

It was just the sort of evening you had hoped for. A small blaze crackled away in the fireplace, casting a cheerful glow across the floor. Shadows danced in the corners the light couldn't reach, darting and swaying with each pop of a log. A red armchair had been placed in front of the fire. Though it was bit threadbare in places, it was far less noticeable now than it had been in broad daylight. In the flickering firelight, it looked positively plush, inviting you into its soft embrace.

Placing a book and a mug of tea on the small table beside it, you surveyed your handiwork a final time before sitting. You had spent the better part of the day decorating your cottage for Christmas, and you were ready to rest. It had been several months now since you had come here. This land was quite foreign, but you had grown to love it. The people in town were friendly, and the scenery was pretty. You wondered what it would have been like to grow up in this place.

As you had worked and saved, you dreamed of how you might decorate a home of your own. Flowers in the spring and summer. Pumpkins and harvest wreaths in the fall. Fragrant greenery in winter. Candles everywhere (you were fond of candles and lanterns). As you pondered each season, you found yourself wondering about holidays. What was celebrated here? Were festivals a common occurrence, or were they on rare occasions? You had been quite curious about the local traditions. It was gratifying to find that this land also celebrated Christmas and in a very similar way to your own.

Naturally, your excitement was unmatched when you were able to afford a home. A small cottage on the edge of town: nothing large or fancy. However, it was now your home. It was a place of your own—no more staying at the local inn and being awakened by the sound of boots tromping through the hallways.

Your home – it had such a lovely sound to it. You had been settled for several weeks now, but the thought still brought a smile to your face. You had a home, it was in time for Christmas, and you had a quiet evening ahead of you. Yes, this was a peace you had craved for some time.

You settled yourself in your armchair, tugging a blanket over your legs (a wool blanket, of course—you had no desire to go up in flames. You were appreciative that Anju had gifted it to you). Curling yourself up comfortably, you glanced at the mantelpiece. Fresh greenery lined the edge, punctuated by sprigs of red berries. In the center, a wooden clock ticked quietly, flanked on either side by a pair of candles. It was simple but festive.

Your prized decoration, though, was the figure you had just purchased today: a colorful nutcracker. He looked quite charming standing on your corner bookcase, like he belonged there all along. Your thoughts drifted back to this morning. It had been an unusual day...

…...

The wind came suddenly. The first white flakes of winter had just begun to lazily make their way downward. The breeze, barely a whisper until now, rushed forth with renewed energy like a host eagerly welcoming his guests. For their part, the flakes saw fit to curtsy and bow, swirling around in a gavotte before whisking away to new ballrooms. They did not stand on ceremony.

As these harbingers of change greeted each other, the poor souls left on the street scrambled to find shelter. While wind and snow were all very well, they did not create favorable conditions for shopping.

It was far preferable to be indoors watching them rather than outdoors experiencing their bite.

The shop bell jingled merrily as you practically blew inside, and the wooden door banged shut behind you. You blew on your gloved hands, trying to shake off the cold the same way you had shaken off the snow. Glancing up, you noticed two or or three other customers who had clearly just arrived. They must have had the same idea you did: this would be a good place to wait until things quieted outside. Really, you had been planning to stop anyway, so it was rather fortuitous.

The shop was not large, but it had been packed to the brim with goods. Typical everyday items like plates, brooms, and pails were in one section. Another was filled with food items, like mushrooms and fresh eggs. Yet another held sundries like thread, sewing needles, and sturdy fabrics. You took your time browsing. There were all sorts of things from utilitarian to decorative, and you had plenty of time to work with.

“Oh!” You exclaimed as your eyes lighted on a tall cabinet in the corner. It had been stocked with new merchandise for Christmas: tins full of spiced sweets and sugared plums beckoned you forward, enticing you with the promise of rich flavors. Miniature evergreens made of dyed feathers created a small forest which any bird would be pleased to call home. Twisted glass that looked all the world like candy hung from special hooks, catching the light in their ridges.

To the right of the cabinet sat a small table stacked with bringers of light. Tin lanterns of various heights stood next to each other like a group of revelers. Each had a different pattern punched in it: moons, flowers, simple diamond shapes. Through them all, light twinkled like private constellations. Alongside these, clusters of candles lay neatly bundled, ready to be distributed and burned. The sweet scent of berries emanated faintly from them, carrying with it misty memories and nostalgic dreams.

You could have spent hours gazing at such beautiful things. There truly was a marvelous array of goods. As your gaze leisurely traveled over the shelves once more, a small cluster of wooden figures caught your attention. Upon closer inspection, you noticed that each one was painted differently. Some appeared to be soldiers, brass buttons gleaming down the front of their uniforms. Others showed their trade, such as a baker with his bread or a carpenter holding a saw. Still others were dressed for an activity, holding fishing rods, climbing gear, or even instruments. These were nutcrackers.

As you pored over them, a particular one caught your attention. It was nestled away in the corner, almost completely hidden. Gently moving aside the figurines, you picked it up. It was shorter and smaller than the others. You might not have noticed it at all but for the colorful tunic he was wearing. It was divided equally into four colors: blue, green, red, and violet, each with gold paint mimicking embroidery. Your gaze traveled upward, and you noted that the tunic culminated in a green hood with a tassel on the end. A sword sporting a single jewel in its hilt was strapped onto the back. Above this, carved strands of blond hair hung almost to the shoulders, a headband holding it back. The level of detail was astonishing. Whoever made him had clearly put their heart into it.

The only thing that you found a bit odd was the expression: it looked almost frightened, like a startled deer. Still, no matter. You very much liked him.

As you traced your finger over the figure's tunic, you heard footsteps behind you. In your peripheral vision, a tall figure leaned close. “That one is...quite unique, isn't he?” A bit surprised, you turned fully to look at the stranger. A well-built man, quite tall, and with middling-length blond hair smiled down at you. You immediately noticed the strange markings on his face and the scar over his right eye. You would have remembered such a face.

“Indeed,” you replied. “I've never seen one like him. I...enjoy all his colors.”

The man's eyes sparkled. “Oho! You do, do you?”

He offered no further commentary or explanation. You were unsure how to respond, so you abruptly decided to change the topic.

''...are you new here in town?” You ventured. “I'm certain I haven't seen you .”

“Not exactly. My companions and I have visited before, though we rarely stay more than a few weeks.”

“I see. I'm somewhat new here myself, but not enough that I can't make recommendations. I suggest you visit the bakery before leaving. I'm told they have a new holiday bread that shouldn't be missed. Even if you're familiar with everything, new things add spice to life.” Truth be told, you hadn't tried that bread yourself. Finances were a bit tight after buying your house. But everything from that bakery was delicious, so you had no doubt that you were doing the man a favor. “Oh, and please let me know if I can otherwise be of help.”

“I'll keep that in mind.”

As you moved to put the colorful nutcracker back on the shelf, the man quickly interjected. “Oh, no, I think you should buy him now.”

“What?”

“You should buy him. Take him home, set him up somewhere. It would be...a good experience for him.”

“A...good experience?” You were confused.

“Indeed. Just now, you offered to help me. You could be of great help to me by getting this fellow here.”

...why was he so interested? His insistence was certainly strange. You started to wonder if you had been too friendly when speaking with him. Though town was generally safe, you still had a sense of self-preservation. You hoped you hadn't gotten involved with someone sketchy. But, the sensible part of you reasoned, would a dangerous person really be pushing for someone to buy a general-store nutcracker, of all things? It didn't make sense. He didn't do anything wrong or threatening; he was just pushy. It was more likely he was eccentric. Perhaps he was some sort of artisan that couldn't bear to see good work go unpurchased.

“You seem quite concerned with this,” you replied slowly. “Is it something you've worked with before?” That was vague enough. You should be able to determine something based on his reply.

The man's face remained neutral, though it almost seemed he was holding back laughter. “Indeed, it is something I have worked with before. Though I wouldn't call him my work.”

“What is your work, if I may ask?”

“In the past, I...” he chuckled. “Let's just say it involved time.”

Apparently, the man spoke in riddles. You wondered if the companions he mentioned dealt with this on a regular basis.

“Time...” The answer struck you. “Oh, like repairing clocks!” That would make sense. He would be able to discern quality woodworking, which would explain the pushiness.

His eyes twinkled. “Something like that.”

The man straightened. Something in his demeanor told you the conversation was ending. “If you need my assistance for anything, my friends and I are staying at the inn. Call me 'Time'. We may see each other in town again. ”

“And I really do advise you to buy him. You said yourself that new things can spice up your life. I guarantee that he will keep things interesting. But if you leave him now, he'll be gone in the blink of an eye.” With a friendly nod, he began to walk away.

You looked down again at the nutcracker. Just now, you had the distinct impression that he was glaring. You blinked. No, that couldn't be; the expression had not changed. It must simply be your own imagination, a passing fancy.

What a strange one the man with the scar had been. He had talked about this figure almost as if it was a real person. Perhaps that was the eccentricity of an artist.

You gazed thoughtfully at the decoration in your hands. Well, why not purchase him? You had budgeted for a few decorations, and he did catch your eye, after all. Carrying him firmly in your arms, you made your way to the front counter. Judging by the color of the sky, you'd be in here longer than you originally suspected. You might as well have a “friend” to spend it with.

….......

Returning to the present, you directed a glance at your “friend”.

“You're my first real guest, you know,” you said humorously. You had had visitors, of course, but each time had been brief. As of yet, no one had spent a whole evening in your company. Surely it wouldn't hurt to play a little and pretend he was a real visitor. “I'm sorry I can't offer you any food—you are a only decorative, after all. I would be a terrible host if I accidentally broke my guest's teeth on a nut.”

He looked a bit miffed at being called “decorative”, but he seemed relieved at your final sentence. (Of course, there was no way his expression could really have changed. This pretending business was rather fun, once you got down to it.)

“But,” you continued. “I can offer you a bit of entertainment.”

Picking up the book you had set out, you quickly flipped to the page at which you had stopped. This was one of your favorite stories. After briefly explaining the plot (you had to admit you felt a bit silly explaining it to an inanimate object), you began to read aloud.

The clock on the mantle ticked steadily and the fire crackled as your voice droned on. The occasional lilt and jump gave expression to the characters. It was a magical thing. Reading aloud made you feel so alive. You whiled away the evening in this pleasant manner, peeking up at your “guest” every once in a while. You must say, he did seem interested. You smiled slightly to yourself. What an imagination.

Directing a glance at the clock, you noted it was a bit earlier than you usually retired. Still, you had worn yourself out. It had been a long day, and all you wanted now was sleep. You carefully placed your book on the table beside you and carried your now-empty mug to the sink. Returning to your previous spot, you made quick work of banking the fire, making sure the coals would smolder through the night. While you could let it burn out, this had become a routine. Your mind had learned that as the fire slept, so could you.

You straightened up and stretched, taking one last look at your “guest”. As the firelight had dimmed, he had become more of a shadowy outline than anything else. Still, he cut a handsome figure. You smiled faintly. “We'll continue the story tomorrow. Thank you for your company. I'll see you in the morning.”

As you slowly trudged upstairs to your room, you blew out the few remaining candles. You didn't notice the faint light in the room behind you, gently emanating from the nutcracker.

(Chapter 1 of ??)

[kepnerandavery]

Bridgerton season 3 (part 1) review

Thoughts on polin this season:

I stand corrected, people. I loved Penelope and Colin this season. I found the writing of those two as individual characters and a couple (on the show) to be mediocre before, but my god, it's like they jumped straight out of the fourth book this season. It's like I finally got to meet book Penelope and Colin (especially Colin). And the chemistry of the leads really surprised me too. I don't know what was going on before this season, but they are great together now. The writing/portrayal of the personalities of the two characters and their connection was spot on, and I honestly have no notes. I wish they had kept this same essence since the beginning, but I get why they were saving this until their season. As I expected, the execution of the translation of this season and couple from the book to screen was the best out of all three seasons. I wish the past two couples got the same attention and treatment (specially kanthony), but alas, there's nothing to be done about that. RMB is my fourth favourite book in the series, but this season is honestly my favourite. The dialogue, costumes, locations, aesthetic of the sets, and even the silent moments between the leads were so poignant. And this season made it clear how a show having a female show-runner can impact it so positively.

Now, on to the other things:

I really liked how they handled Penelope and Eloise's friendship and its fallout this season. Their friendship was written more subtly and with care this season and resembled the one in the books for the first time ever for me. And how they both changed as individuals by the absence of the solace the two of them found in each other in the past as they stood against the confoundedness and cruelty of society was written so well.

Kanthony were adorable and really cute and it's such a shame that we got so few scenes of them. At least they are together and happy.

I hate how they keep making a mockery of Benedict's character. It's clear that he should have already met Sophie and gotten his story cause his character feels lost among everyone else, but the poor boy is still smiling, so that's something I guess. I just wish they would for once properly focus on his love for art and improvement of his talent instead of his little dalliances. It's almost like the writers think that he has no other values/interests beyond that. I feel like the writers are so much better at handling Eloise's character and preparing her for her season than they are at writing Ben's. For god's sake, they should at least give him a best friend, or further build his relationship with one of his siblings or Violet to give his character some substantiality.

Eloise was really great this season and seemed so much more mature and grounded. Her costumes were immaculate too. I just wish we had seen her bond with Francesca more cause they're really close in the books.

As for Francesca, I'm sorry, I didn't like how her character or story was written this season. She was never meant to be this.. idk... plain and quirky? (no one come at me cause I'm a book Fran apologist). After watching these four episodes I feel like Ruby had a better grasp on Francesca's character than Hannah does but it could also have something to do with the very bland writing. But then again, most of what we know of Fran is from WHWW and she is more mature in it, so like polin, her character could also get major development later on as she gets older. But I don't have high hopes for that. And dare I say, I also didn't like how John was written either. He was always way more confident and outgoing in my mind (I also expected them to cast an actor of a larger build and screen presence to play him). But I do see how this version of him suits the new version of Fran. But all in all, neither of them were this particular in my imagination. I hadn't had any hopes for the adaptation of Michael's character since last season came out, so this is literally the nail on that coffin for me. At this point, I'm very desensitised to being let down by this show and prefer to be pleasantly surprised, so who cares.

The soundtrack was great (though nothing can beat season one's in my opinion). But Snow On The Beach playing in episode four at the exact moment it did was really poignant and sweet so it's my favourite song they used this season (so far).

Favorite quote:

"Eros and Psyche battling it out." "What you are trying to say, Miss Cowper? Are they not old friends?" "The oldest of friends, really. Ever since the Featheringtons moved in across the street." "Across the street from the Bridgerton house?" 😭 (argghhh! why is that the cutest thing? whoever wrote that deserves a raise!!!)

Suffice to say, I'm very excited to see how the rest of the season is written. I hope they handle the whole LWD thing with care too.

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 3: A Ghost and Four Keys

First off holy crap is that a killer episode title, I know the gist of what happens already but damn that got me curious

Castle Doom is so cool looking, very cyberpunk

oh sick we get to see more robeasts The robeast coffins are such a cool way to send over literal planet destroying monsters, 10/10 decision

So Zarkon and his forces are ALSO eco-terrorists, fantastic

Coran was being so stubborn before letting the boys pilot the damn lions, why fucking say that they could if you were just going to go stop them from even doing it when they were ready to protect you??

"They wouldn't hit anyone with glasses, would they?" - Pidge You absolute cutie, very bad decision to go out alone but whatever the show goes on, so I know you're not dead by the end

It is sweet how much Coran cares for Allura, I know it's partially because of her being one of the last living royals but still I'm not too much of a Coran fan because of a later episode but for now he's ok

Oh shit ghost dad, that must be a sucker punch for the princess and Coran since they were close to Alfor

Looks like Arus is following Ancient Egypt mummification rules for their royalty, we're really hitting every ancient society with this planet huh

Pidge calls himself a "little Earth man" but I'm not accepting that because we have an episode of his home planet of Balto I wonder how they did the writing for this show because iirc they made up the lore just based off of watching the animation since they didn't get it translated from Japanese

This kid is fighting a whole armada with only a blaster to help, he's absolutely insane

Oh cool their belt buckle doubles as a phone, that's a space saver

Goddamn it Coran,,, this is where your character starts dropping off I understand that you're afraid of sending the boys out in the lions while missing Black, but you're literally about to get one of the pilots killed WHO YOU NEED BECAUSE THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT RIGHT NOW Allura stepped up at least

THE CHUTES ARE BEING USED Getting to the lions is pretty cool, very funny seeing Keith in green though First look at the lions, and they're very boxy looking, it makes sense and doesn't make them any less rad

Pidge has climbed a mountain to get away from the fighters, maybe not the best idea but ok NO THEY SHOT MY BOY

Nabbed by the Arusians surviving in the caves, lucky lucky

FINALLY, THE LIONS ARE FUCKING SHIT UP

Haggar just insulting Yurak for being useless and saying she's better than all of them is so funny too me Like you would be if you weren't weirdly loyal to Zarkon

Why do I remember that the robeasts were made giants before being sent to Arus? This last scene showed the robeast being enlarged in his coffin, so he could bust out of there

NIPPLE DRILL ROBEAST I actually have the 30th anniversary book for Voltron, in it, they actually name and describe the robeasts! This one is called the Battle Batbeast, weighing at 3900 short tons!

The first example as to why the lions can't just fight the robeast, they're legitimately too weak to Now the pilots are knocked out while Pidge is struggling to get to them

Cliffhanger! This is where episode 3 ends, I should be able to manage one more episode later today, so we might actually see Voltron next episode!

[anonofseasons]

I only started writing Seasons this autumn, but I recycled the concept of a man isolating his four children from an old story from 2007-2008. The children did not age in that either. I'm not sure if I even still have a draft of that story around. I created Vivian's character this past spring/summer. Originally, I intended to write about a family of vampires who had to shelter from the world. It didn't seem to fit with what I wanted.

I didn't know what kind of immortals I would have for Seasons until I started writing the first chapter. The seasonal children bit just ended up being written down, because I like whimsical magic. In another story of mine, a character was intended to be an immortal character but I reworked the plot and made him human. Vivian is that type of immortal. It's a spoiler! A few little nuggets of information about the seasons. Howie prefers to be read to than to read fictional books. He's better with reading nonfiction on his own, because much of his curiosity is focused around real people and the world they live in. It's his only access. Not to say he doesn't enjoy fiction! He's the sort of person who skips ahead to the final chapter, skimming pages along the way. Howie's climbing interest isn't just hanging around in trees. If Vivian and Graham would allow for it, Howie would happily practice parkour. Despite being autumn, Howie isn't fond of mushrooms in his meals and tries to avoid them. Nor does he like the dark and anything horror-related. Beau delights in storytelling. The more absurd the fiction, the better. He frequently names and creates characters around all his dolls and plush animals. Beau loves flowers and gardens and prefers to play close to the ground. He enjoys playing in a gentle spring rain. Give him puddles and he'll be splashing around in them for an hour, easily. He loves baby animals, especially baby birds. He'll talk off his parents' and brothers' ears over any nest he spots when the spring comes. El loves both fiction and nonfiction, but he has a soft spot for fantasy epics. He'd never admit to it, but he enjoys the romances as much as he does the journeys and battles. El is more indoorsy than his brothers and doesn't like running or climbing nearly as much. Winter is the time for board games, knitting by the fireplace, and reading books. His hobbies often reflect that. It also makes him the easiest of the three to keep an eye on! Graham always reads the newspaper a day late, and only if Vivian went to work the previous day. Vivian picks one up for him every morning. Before their isolation, Graham read them on the days they were issued, but with the glamor up, who can deliver it to the house?

[amazingmaeve]

A Beautiful Sunrise ↠ D. Malfoy

━ “promise me you’ll move on and be happy Draco.”

summary ━ y/n finds out she has breast cancer a couple months after her and draco have a child. only in a few years she’ll be gone and draco wants to make the best of those years with their son.

request ━ Hey can i get a draco x reader where the reader is diagnosed with some type of cancer and she just found about it can u write how draco reacts and the journey till she dies An additional point:- They can even get marries to stay together forever. Love your writing!!

warnings ━ angst, pain, some fluff, death

a/n ━ i don’t mean to offend anyone by writing this. also I really wanted an angsty ending if that’s ok with you anon.

word count ━ 1.1k

tags ━ @hey-there-angels @risingtripletaurus @choke-me-pansy

Y/N sighed as she entered the door to Malfoy manor. The house elves greeted her and she smiled at them and gave them a wave before going up to a room.

Her son, Scorpius’s, room.

She gave birth to him a couple months ago and she loves having a baby around. With Draco working so much the baby was a nice addition to the family. But they aren’t married yet.

She picked him up and held him to her chest, her heart warming up. A few tears slid out her eyes as she looked at her beautiful son.

She’s been feeling some pain recently and she decided to go to the doctors to see what the problem was. Y/N thought it may have been the flu since it was the season for that.

But it was much worse.

Her doctor informed her that she had breast cancer. Y/N thought she was joking about it but realized she wasn’t joking around. Y/N asked if there was anything she could do to help the cancer.

Her doctor said she should try chemo and see if it helped heal or try and stall it. Y/N decided to see what Draco wanted to do.

And here she was holding her baby wondering what was going to happen.

Y/N put Scorpius back in his crib and kissed him on the forehead and walked to her and Dracos shared room. She sat on the bed getting out the picture book and looked at the pictures.

She didn’t even notice she was crying til the tears fell on the pictures. She closed her eyes right trying to keep the tears in. Y/N hopes that this chemo would work and everything would be okay in the end.

But she had a feeling that wasn’t going to be the case.

She put the album away and curled into a fetus position on the bed as she finally let all the tears fall. She needed to talk to Draco immediately.

Because she didn’t know what else to do.

Between the crying and anxiety she fell asleep. She wished everything that just happened was just a dream but unfortunately that isn’t what happened.

“Love,” Y/N heard someone say and felt someone shake her shoulder wanting to wake her up.

She rubbed her eyes seeing Draco. She gave him a smile as he brushed his thumb against her cheek. She almost forgot about everything while in Dracos presence.

Until the truth came back and Y/N frowned. Dracos eyebrows furrowed, noticing the saddened expression on his wife’s face.

“What’s wrong darling,” Draco asked, concerned as she bit her lip trying not to cry.

“You know those pains I’ve been having,” She whispers. Y/N had told him about the pains and he’s been really worried about and suggested a wizard doctor.

“Yes did you go see that wizard I suggested,” Draco asked and moved his hand to hold onto hers. She had gone to that wizard a few days ago but nothing came out of it so she went to go see a muggle doctor.

“Yes but nothing came out of it so I went to see a muggle doctor and,” She paused and closed her eyes not wanting to say anything.

“Love,” Draco softly asked as the pad of his thumb ran against the top of her hand. She took a deep breath.

“She told me that I had breast cancer,” Y/N blurted out making Draco's eyes widen. Silence swept across the room making Y/N’s anxiety strike as she took deep breaths.

“Is there anything we can do,” Draco asked quietly.

“She said that maybe chemo might work but it’ll be painful,” Y/N explained looking down at their hands. “I’m willing to try it if you are,” She said looking up and meeting his eyes.

“We’ll try anything love. I'm not ready to lose you yet,” Draco said sternly, making her nod.

Draco has been fiercely protective of Y/N ever since the second wizarding. Y/N had almost died from a curse but luckily Draco got to her in time and took her to the nurse.

They tried chemo. It worked but not for a while soon it became too painful for her. Luckily they got married before it got worse.

It was beautiful. Draco looked handsome and Y/N looked beautiful. He wanted it to be perfect for her for them. If she didn’t make it he wanted to be good for her.

Now as Y/N laid in the hospital Scorpius was already four years old and was too young to know what was happening.

“Draco when I die,” Y/N tried saying to Draco but he cut her off not wanting to hear about this.

“Don’t talk like this Y/N you’re going to be fine,” Draco said obviously in denial. She grabbed his hand and rubbed the surface of his hand with the pad of her thumb.

“No I’m not Draco and you know that,” Y/N says softly feeling tears brimming her eyes. “I want you to be happy, find someone and fall in love again,” She said, her lip trembling as tears fall out of her eyes. They were in the hospital and Scorpius was outside of the room.

“No one will ever be as amazing as you,” Draco slightly sobbed as tears came out of his eyes.

“Draco you’re going to be fine, you’re strong,” Y/N tried to reassure him.

“I can’t do it without you,” Draco whispered as tears stained his cheeks. She brought her hand from his thumb to his cheek and rubbed it softly.

“I know you can,” Y/N whispers laughing a bit. Draco brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it softly.

The two stayed in that position for a second. She fell asleep before he did. He was laying his hand on her hand.

When Draco woke up the sun was rising letting the sun seep through the window. It looked beautiful. Draco looked at Y/N and noticed something wrong.

She wasn’t breathing.

Draco sighed and let the tears fall and hugged her body. The love of his was dead. The only person he had now was Scorpius which was reassuring since he was part Y/N.

The next few weeks were funeral planning and Draco stayed up looking at pictures of Y/N til he fell asleep.

One night when he was asleep a knock on his door woke him up. Draco sat up rubbing his eyes and then saw Scorpius walking.

“Hey buddy what’s wrong,” Draco asked as he picked up the four year old who was crying.

“Where’s mommy,” Scorpius sniffled. Draco frowned and held the tears in not wanting his son to see him cry.

“In heaven with all the other angels,” Draco softly replies, wiping Scorpius’s tears away.

“Why’d she leave us,” Scorpius whimpers cuddling up against Draco's chest.

“She would never do that. But she was in pain when she was here and we don’t want that do we,” Draco asks looking down at his son.

He shook his head.

“She's not in pain anymore.”

[gulmoregirls]

literati endgame

My obvious bias aside, I really feel like literati endgame could be in the cards as long as big follow-up themes for a second season go. And here I'll tell you why!

1. The parallels

The show is not about the mother-daughter duo sharing the same name and story, we all know that. However, it's impossible not to parallel their relationships, specially when after the revival, the cycle seems to be opened again. So, Logan is Rory's Chris. Rich, pretty and bad at really being there enough. I feel like it's almost a concensus on the fandom that Logan is the biological father, and the fact Rory consults her own dad about how he felt about Lorelai raising her alone confirms this parallel. She has no intention to break his engagement to Odette, intending to raise her kid by herself just like her mother did. Jess would be Luke, for obvious reasons. Not only do they share blood, but they are also a constant support system for the Gilmore Girls. Altough Jess is kind of ausent, he offered Rory finantial help just like Luke used to do, and helped Rory find herself multiple times: going back to Yale, making peace with her mother, writing a book...

2. The fanservice

After divided opinions from the audience on the revival, I feel like the writers would've learned a lesson or two for a second season. Jess if by far the fan favorite, proof being the result of the pools recently shared on the official twitter and instagram profiles. It would certainly be giving the people what they want. Jess stans would have their fav back, and Logan stans would have, as the consolation prize, him as the father. Dean stans are not being taken into consideration because honestly who cares about them? Dean is happily married and doesn't deserve to be ruined again.

3. Milo. Ventimiglia

I feel like I don't even have to ellaborate on this one. But I will, because I love to talk about it. The Palladinos are really close to Milo. They wrote the Jess part specially for him and were responsible for his big break. They attented Milo's ceremony after recieving his star on the hall of fame, and, after the end of This is Us, included him on the cast for the fourth season of their famous show Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. And Milo obviously likes the role of Jess, as he always speaks fondly of the character whenever asked.

4. The original storyline ??

To be honest, the OG show went really downhill when the Palladinos left after S6. I feel like they had some clear goals and preferences. For instance, they never really took Jess out of the picture. We can never really forget him, because there he is suddently back at Stars Hollow for his mother's wedding, or throwing pebbles at Rory's window, or publishing a book. They liked the character enough to give him an entire spin off that was only cancelled because of the costs of production of shooting in California. However, at the end of S6 Logan was sent to London. This was easily solved by the next season's new writers, but I always wondered about what were the Palladinos plans for Logan's and Rory's relationship. Maybe the long distance wouldn't have worked and maybe Jess could be in the picture again.

5. The cliffhanger

Not the cliffhanger, AKA the famous last four words, but MY cliffhanger, AKA the long stare Jess gave Rory on their final scene. He just said he was long over, but I can't really buy it when a minute later he procedes to give her heart eyes on what was a very unnecessarily intense scene.

6. Everybody moved on, I stayed there

This lyric might apply to me and the fact I'm still obsessed about gilmore girls, but the Palladinos made an effort to really make it apply to Jess as well. Everybody moved on: Paris has her kids, Dean is married and with kids, Logan is engaged. But when it comes to Jess, we know so little about him that he could be the president. Successful writer? Likely, but the only canon info we’ve got is that the press tour is going well. Dating? Probably not, as the only information we get is his vague response when he and Rory first meet on the Revival. It's really unfair, because Jess is a very complex character that had a major evolution throughout the series, even if his glow up happened off-screen. He deserves to be happy, not pining over his ex from 17 years ago. If the Palladinos didn't consider pairing him with Rory, I feel like their care for the character would be enough to at least make him have settled down and move on.

7. They're still in contact... right?

Right??? I don't know if I've read and written too many headcanons at this point, but as he was the one to pitch the idea to her, I really feel like Jess is the editor of Rory's novel. At the very least, someone with experience in the field who can help her through the writing/publishing process. It only makes sense that they stay in touch, right???

[virgojeons]

true love (jjk)

summary: you and jungkook spend your first christmas together. 

alternatively, a merry love story based on the lyrics of true love by ariana grande.

genre: fluff, humor, college au, established relationship, holiday series, jeon jungkook x reader

word count: 4.6k

warnings: cursing, implied sexual content, excessive use of pet names

wattpad version here, ao3 version here

a/n: well, here i am!! pls be gentle with me, this is the first time ive ever posted my writing on here and ive been debating it for months lmao. i truly truly hope u enjoy!!

on the first day of christmas when you gave me all them kisses, boy you showed me things, come hold me please and never let me go.

"Five days until Christmas and you're still decorating the tree?"

You yelped at the sudden sound of your boyfriend's voice, dropping your over-accessorized ornament and watching helplessly as it shattered against the floor.

Immediately, you whined. "Jungkook!"

Jungkook suppressed a grin at the furrow of your eyebrows and the pout of your lips, kicking his shoes off and tossing his coat onto the couch. He didn't mean to scare you, really. You even knew he was coming over. It's just that you left the front door unlocked (as you always did when he was on his way, despite him constantly scolding you for it) and there was no way you would've heard him come in over the sound of Jingle Bell Rock blaring through the house.

"Sorry, baby," He chuckled, bending down beside you to help pick up the remnants of your best ornament. "I didn't mean to scare you."

You glared at him in between collecting the shards of glass in your hand. "I spent hours making that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Hot glue gun burns, sparkles stuck on my face and everything."

Jungkook took the pieces of glass from you with an amused look on his face, standing from his kneeling position to toss them in the trash can you had earlier moved to the living room for easy access. "I'm sorry. I'll make you another one."

"It's not the same." You sulked, finding fun in being stubborn and giving him a hard time. It was getting increasingly difficult though, with his rosy nose and ears and that little gleam in his eyes.

It was then that he made his first move of the night, tugging you by your oversized Rudolph sweater so quickly that you had to latch onto his shoulders for leverage with a squeal. His grin only seemed to grow once you were officially in his space, taking notice of your lack of pants and the snowflake stockings that appeared to be in their place instead.

"You don't look too sorry," You chuckled, heart stuttering at the way he was gazing down at you in such close proximity.

Jungkook shrugged, nudging his nose with yours. "I'm just happy."

They were such simple words, but it was the way he said them, the way he looked at you when he said them. You couldn’t lie, the excitement of spending your first Christmas together, completely alone, was incredibly infectious. It was gross and it was corny and everything else you swore you would never be, but you were in love with Jungkook. Devastatingly so. You from nine months ago probably wouldn’t even recognize the present you; a fact that friends, family, and even Jungkook alike loved to tease you about. Cracking the so-called ice queen was a feat to be celebrated, apparently. Whatever. He was yours and you were his so you didn’t quite care about the technicalities of it. Even if the story went a bit differently, in your opinion. 

The brutal snow and temperatures of February were beginning to fade into spring when you met Jungkook. 

You and Jimin had been attempting to finish your economics homework together in your favorite coffee shop; a hidden treasure that was a ten minute walk from campus and ticked all your aesthetic boxes. You two were sipping from your respective hot drinks, neglecting your heaps of bookwork in favor of discussing the new season of Stranger Things. Jimin was deep into his theory of Hopper still being alive when his eyes flickered to the door at the sound of the bell, widening slightly in recognition before a bright smile took over his face.

"Jungkook!" Jimin called, waving whoever it was over.

You followed his gaze and turned your head in the direction of the entrance, growing curious when the boy walking towards your table wasn't familiar to you. It took you less than five seconds to realize that the boy in question was attractive. 

Like, extremely attractive. The kind of attractive that should not be subjected to the way you look right now. 

It took you even less time to whip your head back around, glaring at Jimin with wide eyes and a panicked expression.

He met your glare with a confused scrunch of his eyebrows before it slowly transformed into a smirk, quickly catching on to what your pointed look was for. The night before had been a late one. You, like any other normal millennial, had impulse bought a pretty yellow Nintendo Switch solely for the new Animal Crossing game. As soon as it arrived on your doorstep you were retreating into your room, tearing the package open with squeals of excitement.

Maybe you completely lost track of time and played until your eyes were bloodshot and you heard birds chirping outside. Maybe you got an astounding two hours of sleep. And maybe you had fallen asleep without setting an alarm and woke up thirty minutes later than usual. 

The details were insignificant though, because you were throwing on a pair of leggings and the first sweatshirt you saw, brushing your hair and your teeth, and hastily sprinting to your car all in record time.

No sleep. No makeup. No breakfast. And worst of all, no coffee.

And so, it was blatantly clear you had no desire to let a boy that beautiful even glance at you in that state, let alone introduce himself. But it didn't look like you had a choice in the matter, because moments later he was towering over your table with a stupidly handsome smile.

Jungkook grinned, reaching out to do that Weird Bro Handshake with Jimin. "Hey, Chim."

You were already plotting various methods of painful revenge in your head.

"Hey, Kook. What are you doing here?"

"I kind of work here," He chuckled. "Well, as of like, yesterday. Today's my first day."

"Oh, so this is the new job you were telling me about," Jimin nodded in realization, then his eyes flickered mischievously to yours. You’re rapidly shaking your head. "You know, this is my friend ___'s favorite coffee spot."

A scowl immediately takes over your face, only to be wiped off and replaced by a sickeningly sweet smile when Jungkook turns his head to look your way. The instant your eyes meet his you quite literally want to melt into the floor. 

Jungkook smiles at you. Like, really smiles. "Hey, that's cool. We'll probably be seeing a lot of each other then, right?"

Across the table, Jimin snorts, which only adds to the way your cheeks are absolutely flaming. You send a harsh kick to Jimin's leg as inconspicuously as you can, all while batting your eyelashes at Jungkook.

"Uh, yeah! We probably... will."

Jungkook looks positively amused, but if he notices Jimin rushing to clutch his leg, he doesn't say anything.

"Sweet," He grins again. There's a brief few seconds where you two are just gazing at each other, stupid and shy, until Jimin loudly clears his throat. "Right, well, I should probably go clock in. Let's chill sometime this week, Chim."

"Sure thing." Jimin sings, smugness plastered all over his face.

Jungkook waves, already backing away from the table with his eyes on you. "Nice meeting you."

You feel yourself flush again and you absolutely hate it. "Nice meeting you too."

With a final smile, Jungkook disappears behind the employee doors. The moment he leaves your eyes are screwed shut and you're slamming your head against the table. The silence speaks for itself. You don't even need to see Jimin's face to know that he's either smirking or stifling his laughter.

"Don't." You warn.

"You just blushed," He says anyway. "Like, four times."

"I most definitely did not blush."

"You did. You still are."

"I'm embarrassed!" You wail. "That's literally the only reason why. I look like I got ran over and dragged for three blocks."

"Jungkook sure doesn't seem to think so," Jimin hums, snickering as he sips his coffee.

"Stop."

"He likes you." He insists.

"He was just being polite." You defend.

"That is literally my childhood best friend. I think I would know."

This makes you pause. Then you sigh. "He doesn't even know me."

He doesn’t disagree. But then again, "Not yet."

"Stop trying to play matchmaker, Jimin. He said five words to me," You spoke firmly, exasperated as you downed the final sip of your latte. "Plus, I'm just focusing on me and my degree right now. No distractions."

Jimin knew that you were already worn out, and even though he was mostly joking around, he wouldn’t want to push you any further. He’d drop it.

"Fine. We'll see who's right in the end, though."

For now.

"I will dump that hot coffee over your head."

As it turns out, Jimin was kind of right.

It takes a grand total of four visits to your favorite coffee shop before Jungkook asks you out. The first time you were by yourself, nose buried in a book as Jungkook was clocking in. He wasn't able to speak to you until about an hour later, when the morning rush had passed and you had finally lifted your head from whatever was in that book. 

You were honestly dreading facing him again, but you were prepared and actually presentable this time. Also you were kind of starving. And so, you hesitantly approached the counter. Jungkook took your order, both of you all fidgeting hands and sheepish smiles. You mentally patted yourself on the back when you spoke without any real mess-ups, and prayed that the cool girl aura you always tried so desperately to maintain was being transmitted. 

Not like you were trying to leave a lasting impression, or anything.

He hand delivered you your coffee and muffin with a beaming grin, all while his new boss glared at him from behind the counter. He didn't have to know that you knew cashiers weren't supposed to serve the food.

The second visit was a few days after. You were with Jimin again, shooting down every jab he made about you only wearing a pretty dress because you knew you would be coming here. Jungkook joined you both during his break. As soon as he untied his apron and sat himself directly across from you, it struck. You knew you were screwed. You just couldn't stop staring at him. The chin in the palm of your hands and sparkles in your eyes type of staring. You would be much more ashamed if you couldn’t see the way he was staring right back. Jimin found this hilarious, of course, and would subtly find ways to connect you two in conversation. You weren't sure if you loved or hated him for it.

It was that visit that Jungkook insisted on sharing his slice of strawberry cake with you, claiming he wasn't that hungry. The both of you were embarrassed, whacking his arm and dismissing him as Jimin complained about being the third wheel. By the end of his break, Jungkook was positively smitten, you were begrudgingly infatuated, and Jimin was awfully smug. He reluctantly said bye to you both, and you were slouching forward with your head in your hands the moment he disappeared from visibility.

Jimin looked extremely pleased. "Believe me now?"

"Focusing on school," You protested. It was a weak one, but. Well.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" He mused.

And suddenly, you were frantic. Panicking. This was definitely not a part of the plan.

Quickly packing up your things, you groaned loudly. "You. Maybe me. Or both. I can't think in this place anymore."

"You'll be all over each other by next week."

"Shh!" You were childishly covering your ears and speed-walking out of the café.

Try as you might, you couldn't help yourself and returned the very next day after all your classes had finished. Jungkook was already there when you walked in, taking a customer's order but doing a double take and flashing you a smile when you appeared in his line of sight. This visit consisted of nothing but pretending.

Pretending to be studying. Pretending you weren't listening to him take orders just to hear his voice. Pretending you weren't sneaking glances at him. Pretending that the way your eyes kept meeting wasn't making your skin prickle. And you were just fine pretending, until suddenly he was in the seat across from with you his apron off and a steaming hot chocolate in hand. You tried your hardest to remain indifferent, you really did. But then he was pushing the beverage towards you with gentle eyes and his smile hopeful, telling you it was his treat because he noticed how hard you were studying. And then you were melting right along with the marshmallows in that mug.

The two of you talked about your majors, your families, your favorite shows, even Jimin. You asked about his tattoos and he explained them with ease. You also may have pulled out one of the oldest tricks in the book at the sight of his knuckle tattoos, gasping in feigned wonder when you pulled his hand against yours to measure the size difference. 

His hand could swallow yours whole and still have some leftover, you discovered. It was a very rewarding experiment.

You made each other laugh and blush down to the very last second of his break. Scarily enough, being in each other's presence was so annoyingly addictive that you found yourself hesitant to watch him leave. You could tell Jungkook felt the same by the way he dragged out his goodbyes. I work again on Thursday, maybe I'll see you then? Your fingers brushed as he softly took the mug from you. It was really fun talking to you. You were biting your lip to keep from smiling embarrassingly big. You look really pretty today, by the way. And then he was off.

You made a strangled noise the second you were outside with your fingers frantically beginning to type a message to Jimin.

promise not to say i told you so :///

Jungkook asked you out on your fourth visit. As soon as you approached the counter, he just blurted it out. As if it was something he couldn't hold on his tongue any longer. You couldn't hear yourself say yes over your brain malfunctioning and the powerful thumping of your heart, but you knew you did. His heartbreakingly gorgeous grin told you so.

On his break, Jungkook brought you a latte with a heart carved in the cream. You just couldn't conceal the coo that escaped you, which quickly resulted in his cheeks reddening. 

Cute, you thought. 

He quizzed you on your personality and the type of activities you liked to do, admitting that he would use the information to conjure up the best date you would ever go on. Six days later, Jungkook stayed true to his word. Not only was it the best date you had ever been on, but you were completely certain it would ruin any other dates for you moving forward, unless they were with him. Much to your annoyance and also utter delight, you were so sure of Jeon Jungkook and your brief but striking time together that you kissed him. Right on the swings of your favorite childhood playground, first date rules tossed aside.

He was so caught off guard that his eyes expanded to twice their normal size and your teeth banged together. You drew back, slightly mortified and ready to jump to your death from the tallest slide on the playground, but Jungkook was huffing a laugh onto your lips and grabbing your face like it was nothing. Then you two got it just right, and something clicked. The earth fell off its axis and you were rendered breathless and all that nauseating cliché shit you chastised as a myth. And from that day forward, you two were completely, tooth-rottingly, inseparable.

"Easy," Jungkook proclaimed, pecking your lips. "We finished the tree."

He set you back on the floor gently, releasing a dramatic breath of air as if lifting you to place the star on top of the tree had actually winded him. As if he wasn't a muscle pig. You rolled your eyes and told him as much.

"Don't be a baby, muscle pig," You shoved at his bicep, only proving your point further when he didn't move an inch. ‘And I finished the tree.”

Instead, he caught the hand that you nudged him with and pulled your back to his chest, caging you between his arms. "Muscle pig, huh? That's what you think of me, baby?"

You flushed at the teasing lilt in his voice, suddenly very eager to escape his hold. But try as you might, he just wouldn't budge. A loud laugh left your throat as you flailed in his grasp, his muscled arms bulging in the turtleneck you bought him for his birthday a few months ago. Suddenly, you decided that you would be returning it for your own personal peace.

A high pitched whine left your mouth, one that lost all its seriousness once it was drowned out by your giggles. "Jungkook, let go of me!"

You would just not stop wiggling, and Jungkook could not stop laughing. He could live the rest of his life like this, his brain pauses to think. He's so happy.

And when you're thrashing so violently that your heel kicks his pocket with a force that has an object clattering onto the floor, Jungkook has never reacted faster in his life. Instantly your imprisonment is gone, and Jungkook is on your floor in a flash. Your eyebrows draw together at the sight of him scrambling for whatever it is, and all you're able to see is a sleek black case before he's quickly stuffing it back in his pocket.

You're eyeing him when he rises back on his feet. "Feel like sharing?"

Jungkook whistles noncommittally. "Not particularly, no."

There's a drawn-out beat of silence where you're just gazing at each other, neither one of you backing down. And then you're crossing your arms, and he's looking at your nose and your forehead and anywhere but your eyes, and then you're arching an eyebrow. He looks at you and breaks. Defeat.

"It's your present," He lets out a heavy sigh. "Well, the main one anyway."

You positively squeal. "Ooh! Can I see? Please?"

"Baby, it's the 20th."

"Can I have a hint?"

Jungkook blinks. "No, you cannot have a hint."

You're instantly pouting, but Jungkook expects that, because he knows you better than anyone else. Which is why he knows that you're a little spoiled, with a bit of a bratty streak, with just a dash of calculated charm that you use to your advantage to get just about anything you want. He's never seen it as a bad thing. In fact, he finds it cute. A little hot, too, if he's being truthful.

Anyway, he came prepared. Just as you're opening your mouth to no doubt make him spill the surprise, he's hushing you with a bruising kiss to your lips. The kind of kiss that makes you go pliant against him, the kind that makes you make a little noise in the back of your throat. The kind you've been waiting for all night. 

It’s the trick that never truly runs its course. 

And Jungkook is melting, too. Melting, turning to mush at your very feet, until you're moving backwards and clutching at his shoulders, ready to push him onto the couch.

"Mmm," He's humming against you, before he reluctantly draws back. He lets you chase his lips once, twice, before he chuckles lowly. "Hold on, angel."

You're suddenly feeling warm all over after his kisses, wanting nothing more than to cuddle into him into the couch and feel him next to you. Or maybe above you. With that chain you always tugged on dangling in your face. You really weren't picky.

You watched Jungkook break away from you and rummage through his bag with a frown and a newfound heat at the pit of your belly. "It can't wait?"

Like he said, he knows you, which means he knew kisses alone wouldn’t be able to satiate you nor get you to stop asking questions for the entire week. No matter how mind-numbing they may be.

"One second," He promised, and you definitely counted at least five, but he quickly found what he was looking for all the same. "I brought a surprise. Well, two surprises."

He was holding both of his hands behind his back with this stupid grin on his face. You squinted for a few seconds, suspicious, before breathing out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna show me?"

Jungkook looked way too happy with himself.

"The most important surprise is mistletoe, obviously. Gonna have to find a way to glue it on to the ceiling above your bed." And there was that mischievous little smile that told you he had every intention of carrying that out.

You folded your arms over your body and scoffed. Even if you were trying and failing to keep your lips from quirking up and possibly, maybe finding it a little harder to breathe all of a sudden. "You're unbelievable, Jeon."

He just winked and held up his other hand, pulling a gasp from your lips the second you realized what it was.

"The Polar Express!"

"I had to check like, four different stores in the mall to find it. That's why I got here a little late, by the way. But I thought we could make some hot chocolate like in the movie and watch it together and," Jungkook pauses to think, licking his lips. "There's a 'ride my train' joke in here somewhere but I don't know how to say it."

He's snorting at his own delivery before you are, and once your giggles permeate the air he's invading your space again with a lovesick smile.

"You are the sweetest boy," You praise, holding his pretty face with both hands and peppering small kisses all over it the way he secretly likes. "But you make me sick to my stomach sometimes."

If anything, this makes him smile even wider. "I love you too, baby."

You and Jungkook are in complete darkness besides the light coming from the TV in your room playing Polar Express. His head is on your shoulder with his arm strewn across your waist, and his entire leg slotted between yours. He's soft. He smells like the lavender body soap you keep in your shower. His gentle breaths hit your neck every time he exhales and you're now cliché enough to believe that the heart underneath you beats in tandem with yours. 

Both of your stomachs are filled from the takeout he ordered for dinner and the peppermint hot chocolate you made while he was in the shower. You're still mentally replaying the moment he stepped back in your room, towel wrapped around his waist with droplets of water cascading down his body. His prominent abs and tattoos and wet hair had you scrambling to sit up, clearing your throat as you tasked yourself with handing him his mug. If he noticed you ogling him, he surely didn’t react to it.

Made us some cocoa, you said.

He brought the beverage to his nose and sniffed once, twice, before his entire face bunched up. Peppermint is nasty. Then he was gulping it down.

I thought it was nasty, you laughed in disbelief.

Nothing you make me can be nasty. Thank you, baby.

And now you’re thoroughly warm from the tips of your fingertips down to your toes, and you figure it has less to do with the cocoa and more with the way Jungkook so obviously loves you. The way you love him.

Feeling a tugging at your shirt, you look down to see him peering up at you with a dazed twinkle in his eye. "You're not hot in this?"

You purse your lips and pause, knowing what was coming. "No. Are you?"

He has the decency to look a little clueless. He was always doing that, in a playfully childish way you grew to love.

"Actually, yeah I am," Jungkook furrows his brows, like it was something he was just now realizing. And then he's sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head, and you're instantly staring at his back and remembering the way it feels to rake your fingers up and down it, and he's turning back to you with a lazy smirk. "You don't wanna take yours off, angel?"

You swallow. "I'm okay."

Jungkook starts to laugh, that cocky laugh that is equal parts douchebag-ish and sexy. He's most definitely turning you on and he most definitely knows this, which is why you're glaring at him until he reaches over you and picks up the mistletoe from your bedside desk. He dangles it over your heads, makes sure to wriggle his eyebrows suggestively when he does it, and you want to laugh, you really do. You would probably roll your eyes and call him a nerd too while you were at it, if it weren't for the way he was changing his position and starting to lean over you. Crowding your space in your favorite way. 

Jungkook hears your breathing pick up once you're directly under him, watches the way your lips part and your eyes change for him, and decides to go for the kill.

Nothing about the kiss was soft or gentle. Jungkook clearly had a point to prove and knew how he wanted to do it. The dangling mistletoe was soon forgotten in favor of holding your face by your chin, landing with a chime on your wooden floors. He worked your mouth open in that sloppy, messy, dirty way he only exhibited when he was feeling particularly desperate. Saliva pooled at the corners of your mouth and you were trembling underneath him, clutching at the warm skin of his back. It was nasty, absolutely obscene the way his tongue was in your mouth like his life depended on it. And you loved it. You couldn't stop making these little sounds, and Jungkook was groaning into your mouth right along with you. You were seconds away from pleading for him to do anything he wanted, to make you his, when he's abruptly pulling from you with a wet pop and a string of saliva between you.

Your ragged breaths fill the air, both of your chests heaving as you take a second to attempt to drag yourself out of the haze he's built around you two.

The asshole has the audacity to laugh. "Hot yet?"

"You don't have to bring out the mistletoe to kiss me, you know." You eventually say instead.

"I know," He pants, still smiling like the all-consuming beauty he is. "But you love Christmas. And it's our first. Wanna do it right."

You feel the need to close your eyes, let his words sink in, and so you do. You let the statement blanket over you until you're positively beaming, and when you open your eyes, he is the same. You are so irreversibly in love and you think he might be perfect. You tell him as much.

"You're perfect," You say, all soft and starry eyed. You're nodding when he starts shaking his head, and when the tips of his ears begin to turn red and he's putting his head down, you're giggling and putting both hands on either side of his head to get his eyes back on yours. "I love you a lot."

Jungkook is so happy. "Love you most."

And then he's leaning down again. This kiss is much less frantic, more steady, but still passionate and still with Jungkook, which means it fills your body with heat all the same. Your head is floating and you're squirming under his hold again when you break apart for air.

There's no point in trying to resist him anymore. You never can.

"I'm gonna take my sweater off now."

Jungkook scrunches his nose, and grins. "Okay."

read part two here!

[gascon-en-exil]

A Game of Thrones 10th Anniversary Season Ranking: Part 2

Link to Part 1

Time for the bottom half of the list. The four seasons here will surprise no one, but the order might.

#5 Season 6

You can tell what I most what to talk about here...but there's an order to these things.

S6 actually has a bunch of great ideas, but they drown beneath the most slapdash plotting and character work the show has seen yet in order to set the stage for the narrower conflicts of the last two seasons. It's notorious for bringing back characters who haven't been seen in a season or longer only to kill them off (Balon Greyjoy, Osha, Hodor, the Blackfish, Rickon, Walder Frey) or awkwardly graft them back into the main plot (Sandor Clegane, Bran). There are plot threads that ought to be compelling but are too rushed in execution, like the siege of Riverrun, Littlefinger's hand in the Battle of the Bastards, or Daenerys's time back among the Dothraki and then finally getting the hell out of Meereen. Arya hits on the only interesting part of her two-season sojourn in Braavos - a stage play, of all things - only for it to stumble at the end with a disappointing offscreen death and some incomprehensible philosophy ahead of the start of her murder tour of Westeros. There's also so much cutting off the branches, enough to be conspicuous; the final shot of Daenerys leading an armada of about half the remaining cast she assembled partially offscreen says that better than anything else. Well, not anything....

Highlight: Without exaggeration, the opening of S6E10 is easily my favorite sequence in all of GoT. The staging, the music, the mounting suspense even as it becomes increasingly obvious what's about to happen, the twisted religious references particularly in Cersei's mock confession to Unella, Tommen throwing himself out a window because he can't deal with the reality of how terrible his mother is, how Cersei gives absolutely no fucks whatsoever about murdering hundreds of people at once in a calculated act of vengeance largely prompted by her own poorly thought out actions - I love it all. It's the single most masterfully-executed act of villainy in the whole show - Daenerys torching King's Landing probably has a higher body count, but the presentation there is all muddled - and if I had any doubts about Cersei being my favorite multi-season major character they were silenced in this moment. The explosion of the Sept doesn't sit perfectly with me, because I liked the Tyrells and because of what I said about deaths like theirs and Renly's in the previous post under S2, but I think that unease only cements the strength of this sequence. It's an overused phrase in fandom these days, but GoT at its best is all about moral greyness that gives its audience room for multilayered reactions. Cersei nuking the Sept and making herself the sole power in King's Landing, which in a sense is just a more overt example of the kind of character/plot consolidation elsewhere represented by Daenerys's armada, is one of those events that's impossible to approach from a single angle if you care about any of the characters involved. And hey, it's not in the books (yet, presumably), so unlike Ned's death or the Red Wedding the GoT showrunners can take the credit for realizing this one.

Favorite death: Even leaving aside the Sept and related deaths there's a lot of good ones to choose from in S6. Ramsey is cathartic but too gory for me, Osha's was a clever callback but a little delayed, it's hard to pin down specific deaths when Daenerys incinerates the khals, and Arya only gets half credit for Walder Frey and his sons when she saves the rest of the house for the opening of S7. I'm thinking Hodor, not so much because I enjoy his character or the manner of his death but because it's a clever bit of playing with language (that must have been hell to render in other languages for dubbing) wrapped up in some entertainingly murky consent issues and some closed time loop weirdness. It's all very...extra? Is that the word for it?

Least favorite death: Offscreen deaths continue to be mostly letdowns, in this case Blackfish and the Waif. Way to botch the ending of Arya's already near-pointless Braavos arc, guys. Speaking of Arya, this spot goes to Lady Crane, whom the Waif somehow kills with a stool or something. It's a dumb way to send off an entertaining minor character.

#6 Season 8

I swear that I'm not putting S8 this high solely because of Jonmund kind of sort of happening. I've never been very interested in either of them and the sex would be far too bear-on-otter to suit my pornographic preferences, but even so the choice to close out the series with them is hilarious.

I really don't need to elaborate on why S8 is down here; everyone who's ever watched the show has done as much in the nearly two years since it wrapped up. I do however need to explain why I've ranked not one but two seasons below it. My biggest argument here is that I don't believe it's fair to critique S8 for problems it inherited from earlier seasons. A non-comprehensive list:

Mad Queen Daenerys: unevenly built up beginning from S1 and continuing in some form through every following season

The questionable racial optics of Dany's army: also seeded as early as S1 and solidified by S3 with the Slaver's Bay arc

Cersei only succeeding because she makes stupid decisions and then lucks out until she doesn't: apparent from S1, directly lampshaded by Tywin in S3, fully on display with the Faith Militant arc of S5-6

Jaime not getting a redemption arc or falling in love with Brienne: evident with his repeated returns to Cersei throughout the show as one of the most consistent elements of his character, particularly in S4 and during the siege of Riverrun in S6

Tyrion grabbing the idiot ball/becoming a flat audience surrogate mouthpiece: started in S5 around the time the showrunners ran out of book material for him and wanted to make him more of a PoV character and his arc less of a downward spiral, although I've seen arguments that changes from the books involving his Tysha story and Shae set him on this trajectory even earlier

The hardening of Sansa's character: began in earnest in S4 and never let up from there

The strange ordering of antagonists: set down by S7's equally strange plot structure - the Night King had to come first with that setup

CleganeBowl and the dumber twists: from what I've heard the whole thing of writing around fans on the internet guessing plot twists started pretty much when the book content ended, so S5-6 maybe?

Yes, there's plenty to criticize about S8 on its own merits...but just as much that was merely the writers doing what they could at that point with deeply flawed material.

Highlight: This may sound cheesy, but the better parts of S8 are almost all the cinematic ones, whether that's E2 being a bottle episode with tons of poignant character send-offs before the big battle, a handful of deaths with actual satisfying weight like Jorah's and Theon's, and an epilogue that incorporates both closure for individuals and the broader uncertainty of messy socio-political systems that GoT has always been known for before working its way back to the Starks at the very end for some tidy bookending. Even imperfect moments like the Lannister twins' death and the resolution of Sansa's character felt weighty and appropriate based on what had come before.

Favorite death: Forget about the audio commentary attempting to flatten Cersei's character; Cersei and Jaime Lannister have an excellent end. Cersei especially, as the scenes of her stumbling her way down into the catacombs as the Red Keep crashes down around her really show off how her world is abruptly falling apart and how she retreats into her own self-interest at the end in spite of her demise being at least partially of her own doing. There's some stupid moments associated with these scenes, like Jaime dueling Euron to the death and CleganeBowl, but I can excuse those when the twins end up dying exactly where you'd expect them to: in each other's arms, in a ruined monument to their family's grand ambitions that, like Casterly Rock itself, was taken from another family.

Least favorite death: Quite a few dumb ones in S8 have become forever infamous. Missandei sticks out, and for me Varys too just as much because of how the writing pushes him to do the dumbest thing he could possibly do purely for the sake of killing him off ten minutes into the penultimate episode. But no one belongs here more than Daenerys Targaryen, killed at the height of a rushed and uncertain villain reveal by a man who takes advantage of their romantic history (who is also her family, because Targaryens) to stab her in a moment of vulnerability - pretty much only because another man tells him that Daenerys is the final boss. Narratively speaking that might be the case, but even so this is the end result of multiple seasons of middling-to-bad buildup. Not even Drogon burning the symbolism can salvage that. Also Fire Emblem: Three Houses did this scene and did it better.

#7 Season 5

...Yeah, we're going to have to go there.

Sansa's rape is not a plot point that personally touches me much. It's terribly framed in the moment and the followup in later seasons is inconsistent at best, but it's not a kind of trauma I can relate to. On the other hand, in the very same episode Loras is tried and imprisoned for homosexuality, and Margery faces the same punishment for lying for her brother. That hits much closer to home, not just for the homophobia but also for the culture war undertones of the not!French Tyrells persecuted by a not!Anglo fanatic who later reveals himself to be the in-universe equivalent of a Protestant. The trial is just one part of Cersei's shortsighted scheming, just as Sansa being married off to Ramsey is part of Littlefinger's, and both of them get their comeuppance in the end...but it's unsettling all the same. I especially hate what the Faith Militant arc does to King's Landing in S5, swiftly converting it from my favorite setting in GoT to a tense theocratic nightmare that only remains interesting to me because Cersei is consistently awesome. What's more, pretty much everything about S5 that isn't viscerally uncomfortable is dragged out and dull instead: the Dorne arc, Daenerys's second season in Meereen, Arya in Braavos, Stannis and co. at Castle Black. The most any of these storylines can hope for is some kind of bombastic finale, and while several of them deliver it's not enough to make up for what comes before, or how disappointing everything here builds from S4. S4 has Oberyn, S5 has the Sand Snakes - I think that sums up the contrast well.

Highlight: S5 does get stronger near the end. As much as his character annoys me I did like the High Sparrow revealing his pseudo-Protestant bent to Cersei just before he imprisons her, and there's a cathartic rawness to Cersei's walk of atonement where you can both feel her pain and humiliation and understand that she's getting exactly what she deserves (and this is what leads into the climax of S6, so it deserves points just for that). The swiftness of Stannis's fall renders his death and that of his family a bit hollow, but it's brutal and final and fittingly ignominious for a character with such grand ambitions but so little relevance to the larger story. The fighting pits of Meereen sequence is cinematic if nothing else, and even the resolution to the Dorne arc salvages the whole thing a tiny bit by playing into the retributive cycles of vengeance idea (and Myrcella knows about the twincest and doesn't care, aww - no idea why that stuck with me, but it's cute all the same). Oh, and Hardhome...it's alright. Not great, not crap, but alright.

Favorite death: I don't know why, but Theon tossing Myranda to her death is always funny to me. Maybe because it's so unexpected?

Least favorite death: Arya's execution of Meryn Trant is meant to be another one of the season's big finale moments, but the scene is graphic and goes on forever and I can't help but be grossed out. This is different from, say, Shireen's death, which is supposed to be painful to witness.

#8 Season 7

I can't tell if S7's low ranking is as self-explanatory as S8's or not. At least one recent retrospective on GoT's ruined legacy I've come across outright asserts that S7 is judged less harshly in light of how bad S8 was. If it were not immediately obvious by where I've placed each of them, I don't share that opinion.

Because S7 is just a mess, and the drop-off in quality is so much more painful here than it is anywhere else in the series except maybe from S4 to S5 (and that's more about S4 being as good as it is). The pacing ramps up to uncomfortable levels to match the shortened seasons, the structure pivots awkwardly halfway through from Daenerys vs. Cersei to Jon/Dany caring about ice zombies, said pivot relies largely on characters (mostly Tyrion) making a series of catastrophically stupid tactical decisions, and very few of the smaller set pieces land with any real impact as the show's focus narrows to its endgame conflict. As with S6 there are still some good ideas, but they're botched in execution. The conflict between Sansa and Arya matches their characters, but the leadup to that conflict ending with Littlefinger's execution is missing some key steps. Daenerys's diverse armada pitted against Cersei weaponizing the xenophobia of the people of King's Landing could have been interesting, but there's little room to explore that when Cersei keeps winning only because Tyrion has such a firm grip on the idiot ball and when Euron gets so much screentime he barely warrants. Speaking of Tyrion's idiot ball, does anyone like the heist film-esque ice zombie retrieval plotline? Its stupidity is matched only by its utter futility, because Cersei isn't trustworthy and nobody seems to ever get that.

And how could I forget Sam's shit montage? Sums up S7 perfectly, really. To think that that is part of the only extended length of time the show ever spends in the Reach....

Highlight: A handful of character moments save this season from being irredeemable garbage. As you can guess from my screencap choice, Olenna's final scene is one of them, even if Highgarden itself is given insultingly short shrift. S7 also manages what I thought was previously impossible in that it makes me care somewhat about Ellaria Sand, courtesy of the awful death Cersei plans for her and her remaining daughter. The other Sand Snakes are killed with their own weapons, which shows off Euron's demented creativity if nothing else. I like the entertainingly twisted choice to cut the Jon/Dany sex scene with the reveal that they're related. And, uh...the Jonmund ship tease kind of makes the zombie retrieval team bearable? I'm really grasping at straws here.

Favorite death: It's more about her final dialogue with Jaime than her actual death, but again I'm going to have to highlight Olenna Tyrell here for lack of better options. She drops the bombshell about Joffrey that the audience figured out almost as soon as it happened but still, makes it plain what I've been saying about how Jaime's arc has never really been about redemption, and is just about the only person to ever call Cersei out for that whole mass murder thing. There's a reason "I want her to know it was me" became a meme format.

Least favorite death: There aren't any glaringly bad deaths in S7, just mediocre or unremarkable ones. I still think the decision to have Arya finish off House Frey in the season's opening rather than along with their father at the end of S6 was a strange one that doesn't add much of dramatic value.

[finding-fallen-stars]

YGO Questionnaire Part 2 Electric Boogaloo

So, my gf/bf @howaboutalittlehelpneos tagged me to do this again a... good long while ago, and I had wanted to wait until I'd finished my GX rewatch before trying this again. But ouch oof I accidentally also got through all of 5Ds again before getting to this lol

But the 5Ds rewatch definitely reshaped a lot of my thoughts, so... cracks knuckles. This won't be spoiler free, fair warning~

Favorite Series: ugh the formatting killed my original essay on this but okay GX and 5Ds are pretty tied in my book, now-- I love them equally, but in different ways! GX fulfills my love for subversive coming-of-age stories with a heartwarming, humorous, and also soulcrushing touch, and I love how each season brings a new story and new characters-- it's like reading installments of a novel series, and I think the formatting works wonders for it as a whole. It has some absolutely phenomenal character writing, too-- even the characters I dislike are ones I can appreciate for what they introduce to the story! And honestly, not enough people give the first two seasons of GX the credit it deserves: they're half the charm, really. How are you going to feel the full impact of the heartbreaking content in seasons 3 and 4 if you aren't properly attached to the characters?

But on 5Ds's side of things... it fulfills my love for stories with time loops, found family, human nature, and of course, love and death and how they intertwine. I love how the leading characters are just a bunch of broken kids from broken circumstances who all find a home with each other, and of course, how it highlights class disparity and how fucked up the prison/"justice" systems are. Yea, sure, maybe it underwent executive meddling and all, but I genuinely love it for what it is and I wish more people appreciated it... my only problem with 5Ds is the untwist with Z-ONE and then the ending s m h I adore it overall and I could go off for a long while on it. Overall, these are my two instinctive recommendations for anyone getting into Yugioh!

(look at these boys they're so important) Favorite Protagonist: Oh, believe me, absolutely nothing has changed here-- Yusei Fudo is and always will be my favorite protagonist, and my rewatch only solidified that.

I just... love him so much? He's seen so much hell in his life and carries so much guilt on his shoulders, but he still has room in his heart to believe in others and to believe that anyone can defy fate and find hope even at rock bottom. I love that he's initially introduced as this quiet, brooding figure when he really just turns out to be a huge softie who wears his heart on his sleeve half the time and wants to bring about change for Satellite and its people. Plus I just really love that his greatest flaw is something that would ordinarily be a positive trait-- he's Overly self-sacrificial, to the point where he's basically setting himself on fire to keep others warm, and that's not really framed as something Heroic

Just... he makes me so happy. I have two Yusei charms that I ordinarily keep on my keys (one was a gift from Zenzen) and they're a constant source of serotonin for me. He's Peak comfort character for me. Best protag in my book Favorite Rival: Same deal here-- still Manjoume!

look at him he's so important

While he spends a lot of the anime getting the good old damsel in distress treatment (getting suckered into a cult, getting knocked into a coma, becoming a zombie, getting fucking Killed, etc), I still think his character arc is really well-written overall and I only appreciated it even more when I watched GX again. I love the fact that he's got a soft heart he buries beneath the edgy facade, and that he's simultaneously really sharp and also kind of dense lol. He's just a fun character and watching how he evolves from episode one to episode one hundred eighty is such a satisfying journey.

Plus, props to him for being such a versatile duelist-- 50 wins in a row is HARD as is, let alone with a deck full of cards he just found laying around in the Arctic. Three ace monsters, three different archetypes... he's a really good duelist and I'm proud of him for it

Oh, but honestly, I don't really dislike any of the rivals-- I'm neutral towards Revolver and Reiji, but the remaining four (Kaiba, Manjoume, Jack, and Shark) compel me. yes I accidentally wound up liking Jack Atlas shhh Favorite BFF: Honestly, I really like most of the characters who fit this archetype-- Joey, Crow, Gongenzaka, Soulburner... I still lean a little bit more towards Joey, but I really appreciate all four of them. I'm gonna say Joey again, just because I find his evolution as a character the most compelling, but I appreciate the other three a lot. Soulburner has the best design though Favorite GFF: Oh absolutely still Aki, but I honestly... really love most female Yugioh characters? I'm assuming this is lead girls only, but like. I'm dumb and gay and I love Girls so this is naturally the most difficult one for me to answer lol

Aki just resonates with me the most because she's the prime example of how trauma doesn't always manifest in palatable ways-- when we first meet her, she's angry and lashes out at anyone and anything just because she wants the world to suffer in the same ways she's suffered, and then... we get to watch her grow from that, once she's free from Divine and able to heal the way she needs to heal. I know the second half of 5Ds didn't give her character the attention it deserved, but I'm still proud of her for winding up on the path she did-- seeing her channel her power and energy into wanting to heal and help others was just so good and was one of the few things I really Loved about the 5Ds ending.

oh, but like. Asuka Tenjoin and Aoi Zaizen are very close seconds for me!!! Aki just has a vice grip on my heart Favorite Villain: Okay, it's still technically Vector-- I think he's the most entertaining, well-written, and effective villain out of all of the ones we've seen so far, but... I also want to add Takuma Saiou and then all of Yliaster as honorable mentions?

As someone fond of tarot myself, I was naturally pretty intrigued by Saiou the first time I watched GX, but my attachment to him only grew the second time around where I actually got the chance to understand his character better. Plus, like... the visuals with him are fucking astounding and he's always so interesting to watch.

As for Yliaster, I just... really love how the big bad of 5Ds turned out to just essentially be a broken man desperate to save anyone and anything and three robotic reconstructions of the friends he'd lost. I still think the untwist with Z-ONE was stupid and I much prefer the idea of him and Yusei being the same person, but I'm still compelled by the other three-- well. Paradox less so, because we don't get a lot of Paradox lore, but. Aporia and Antinomy for sure.

ugh Yugioh has some damn good villains

Favorite Card: now that I actually play the TCG game...

Stardust is always going to be my favorite of all cards because it checks every box for me (my favorite YGO character's ace monster, space theme, what more could I want), but Aromaseraphy Rosemary has really become one of my aces in my best TCG deck! I'm still mastering irl plays, but I'm happy with my progress and I love my plant gang...

Favorite Episode: alright, here's where there's actually been a Lot of change, so...

Season 0: Episode 16: "Turnabout by a Hair's Breadth - The White-Robed Crisis" -- The more I think about this one, the more I love it; there's a... lot of corruption in the medical industry, and I've seen a lot of it firsthand, so just. Seeing a corrupt doctor get what he deserved at the end was cathartic, in a way? Plus, a Jounouchi-centric episode is always a good time.

Duel Monsters: Episodes 96-97: "Darkness vs. Darkness/One Turn Kill" -- this hasn't changed, I still love seeing Marik and Bakura bitch at each other for two whole episodes LMAO

GX: Episode 152: "Activate Super-Fusion! Rainbow Neos" -- This one hasn't changed and it likely never will-- I take so much pride in seeing Judai push forward, past the fear and guilt he's carrying, all to save Johan... it's cathartic and I never get sick of watching it.

5Ds: sweats. still all of Crash Town, but also episodes 137-147-- the Ark Cradle is one of my favorite parts of 5Ds and one of my favorite YGO arcs period, and even though each duel is a fucking gut punch, I love the emotional intensity and weight in each episode... It hurts but in a mostly good way

Zexal: Episode 143: "The Aloof Duelist 'Nasch': The Destined Final Duel" -- this one hasn't changed! Still hurts, still love it, I still weep over Ryouga Shark Kamishiro on a daily basis

Arc-V: Episodes 81-82: "Our Respective Battlefields/The Ultimate Falcon VS The Black-Feathered Thunder" -- Okay, honestly, this was hard because I... genuinely. really don't like Arc-V very much at all lol (it's just not my cup of tea, but more power to those who do like it!), but I thought this duel was a lot of fun! Shun is my absolute favorite from Arc-V and I really like the friendship he struck up with Crow a lot, so here we are

VRAINS (so far): Episode 25-26: "Virus Deck Operation/Three Draws Leading to Hope" -- honestly I am so biased because I just really love Blue Angel and I loved seeing her get a well-deserved victory like this lol. I'm not done with VRAINS, so this is probably gonna change, but anytime Blue Angel or Soulburner are on screen, I'm happy

Favorite Decks to Use: Aromages will always have my heart, but I adore Cyber Angels too! I'm building my Trickstar deck, my Synchron/Stardust deck (just waiting on Dawn of Majesty...), and my Magician Girls deck, too! Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum, or Link?: Synchros my beloved... but also Ritual Years in fandom: I've been here for just a little over one year now! and I wuv it... I'm never looking back Who am I tagging: no one I'm too shy

[litakino]

Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of Rose's death. Also, this November she would've been 30y/o.

She was a close friend of mine, and died of an aneurysm; she collapsed on stage while singing and playing the guitar, and died the next day.

Rose was the same age as my sister, two years younger than me, and her sister is my age and was my best friend. So the four of us were really close, almost like sisters. We would spend the summer holidays either with our family, or theirs, whichever family went to the beach that year.

She was such a big part of my life growing up, that it's weird thinking that she's "stuck" at 20, and I'm 32 now.

I'll try really hard to convey, how important she is to everyone who knew her. How missed she is.

She was so smart, like book smart, but also surprisingly insightful for a 20y/o.

I remember Rose telling me once "I wanted to know if I liked it, so I kissed a girl. But it's not for me". You have no idea how important that was for me. Like I've never even thought of the possibility of not being straight (raised catholic and very conservative), it's not that I was repressed, it was just something I never even considered before.

And she was from a family very much like mine, but able to break away and try her own path (it wasn't that she went around kissing people; and there's nothing wrong with being that person, but she just wasn't, I'm saying this to illustrate how important it was that she did it).

Rose also loved things with all her being. And she was never ashamed of the things she liked. Like she would go into forums and investigate about her heroes and know all there was to know about ER and Sarah McLachlan and Rent and U2 and musicals and Broadway and Wicked.

I'm writing because there's so much she would've done, so many what-ifs I feel I need to make her be present this way, this year.

She wasn't top of her class when she graduated high school, just because she didn't want to spend too much time studying. She was close second though, and that was just with minimal effort. She was a real life Hermione.

Also, Rose was tall, and big, and had long bushy hair. She had to buy her heels from drag queen shops bc her feet were so big, "regular" shoe shops didn't carry her size. And she was CONFIDENT. Like, loved to wear her hair down, big and all, no shits given.

And was really good at shopping for cool clothes, even though most traditionally "feminine" shops didn't carry her size (take into consideration, this was 2009/2010 and we grew up in a small city in Argentina, there weren't many shops available, and "plus size" meant grandma's clothes)

Her last birthday (2010) she rocked a really short shirt-dress with bright yellow tights, I can't even begin to imagine what her style might have been nowadays.

It took her some time to gain that confidence, went through the awkward baggy-pants-and-big-sweatshirt phase like most of us fat girls, but she already loved herself when she was finishing high school. It took me many more years to reach that stage.

I'm painting the best picture, since everything positive about her comes to mind these days.

That's not to say, she was perfect. She definitely wasn't. She was human and made mistakes and (I'm sure) hurt people.

She was loud and could be obnoxious sometimes, but there are very few teenagers and young adults who aren't.

Oh also, Rose really enjoyed singing. And she was really good at it.

She was studying to become an English teacher.

She was really spiritual, and sang in church every Sunday, and was part of the community.

I would love to speak to her now, about feminism and love and gender and sexuality and family. There's so much we didn't know back then, so much I want her insight into.

When I heard the Hamilton soundtrack, all I could think about was about her. And how much she would've loved it.

I want to have the opportunity to hear her rave about things like Lin Manuel Miranda, or Doctor Who, or Good Omens.

I'm glad Rose got to meet my (now) husband, and that she liked him is an endorsement like very few I can think of.

I wonder where she would be living now (I think Ireland or England, studying for her third master and singing in pubs some nights).

I know she would have finally found someone who saw her for who she was, and loved her for it. Perhaps a few whirlwind romances before that.

I wonder if she would've even wanted to have kids.

When Rose died, it was a shock, because no one saw it coming (both her parents are doctors, and the aneurysm was never diagnosed, she never had any syntoms before. And by the time she was rushed into the hospital, it was too late).

Afterwards, slowly but surely, all of her friends and family finished high school, then university. Some of us got married, some got kids. Some moved to other countries.

The year she died, I was out of the country, doing one of those work and travel programs, that encompass our summer (December through March), in WDW. It was something she had actually suggested, that she wanted to do, but last minutes backed out (I never knew why). I was far away from home, working 13-hour shifts (the holidays in the resort are madness). And after her death, a friend suggested some of us took the days off from two weeks, put them together, and take a 4-days trip to NYC. I didn't really have the money to do it, but said yes anyways because Rose wanted to attend Juilliard (childhood dreams), and so we said we were going to visit her in her break (more childhood dreaming). So I ended up eating rice and crackers for a few weeks in order to pay for travel and lodging, but it was so worth it. Everything there reminded me of her, of what she dreamed of doing, of becoming.

I miss her so much, and as I go through life and hit new "milestones", I wonder what she would be doing right now.

Yesterday some close friends and her family gathered (socially distant, and out in the open air) in our old high school. It's a place of 400 square meters, most of which are various sports' fields, and a small forest. It was a place she felt was home, and since the moment she said she wanted to become an English teacher, a spot was there waiting for her to finish her studies.

Anyways, there in the small forest, around the fallen walnut tree, people who loved her, and miss her, gathered, to remember her smiles and jokes and songs.

Her mother read a poem Rose wrote, and her sister sang the solo in "Seasons of Love".

It was lovely, and sad, and had her in every moment.

She is loved, and missed so so much.

[taylorology]

So, cool story.

My best friend of three years, truly an incredibly intelligent, streetwise, funny, quick-witted, hot-tempered, kind, brave woman, a Gryffindor to the very core, has read a total of, like, six books in her entire twenty-four years of living.

That's one (1) book every four (4) years. Since I'm the kid who has books falling out my ears and the coat with deep pockets I bought specifically to keep multiple books on me while I commute, when I learned this I was like

"Bitch the hell you say"

(I'm also a Ravenclaw which I'm proud of but like fUCk I grew up wanting to be a Gryffindor and identifying with Gryffindor so I'm known to have a crisis every now and then)

And she just shrugged with this aggravating smirk and said

"I JuSt dON't LiKe REAdinG."

So for three years I've been trying to persuade her, I've given her books I thought she'd like as presents, I've recommended things, I've tried reading to her (and she fell asleep every single time) and reading the books our teacher gave her so we could talk about them. NoooOooooOOOOthing worked.

I'm aware that it's a bit selfish and manipulative, but I wouldn't have kept on if

1) she had told me to stop

2) she hadn't said she WANTED to read, she just couldn't focus long enough to finish a paragraph, much less an entire novel

3) I didn't truly believe she would like it if she found the right stuff.

Fast forward to us living together in the same bedroom (a huge step up from the same bed, in the summer, in NYC, with no air conditioning).

I found, if I was enthusiastic enough about something, she would hook on. I'm an infectious person what can I say.

I started rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the zillionth time. She watched with me. (We move slowly, we're mid-fifth season, about two years later.) And then she started sending me Buffy memes.

And thEN

I discovered

she liked

Harry Potter.

What a wonderful, beautiful realization. Simply fantastic. I could work with this. If she likes the movies, she would love the books. That's just fact.

So one day I walked into work with a brand new copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and I slammed it down in front of her.

"I'll buy you the entire series if you read them. When you finish this one, you'll get the next."

And she shrugged, and she picked up the book, and said in her animated chipmunk voice "Mmmokay."

And then I started getting Potter memes in my instagram inbox, and in-depth questions in my texts, and angry rants about how the movies entirely skipped important plot points (she's particularly furious about the first quarter of GoF) and did SO MANY characters dirty.

Fast forward - One year later

After hundreds of full, analytical discussions, after many Potter-thons, after meme binges, after five books, while I'm on an extended family leave (thanks Coronavirus), I get the text that she'd finally finished OotP (she'd taken a brief pause in her reading, and by brief I mean almost an entire year, which was torturous because it's My Favorite. Fucking. Book. And I wanted to share it with her.) and she wasn't sure if I'd gotten her HPB yet.

I told her that of course she could borrow my copy until I could come home and buy it for her.

And a day later the following exchange occurred over text:

A: I've started one of my other books while I wait for Half Blood Prince

T(is me): Ooh, which one?

T: Did you find my copy? Or was my room just a disaster

A: No I found it but I didn't want to risk something happening to it. No that j think anything would, but your books are everything to you. Especially HP. It be like I killed one of your children lol

A: It's a book adaptation of The Prom. I got it at a new broadway gift shop on my birthday :)

She was reading her own books.

HER

OWN

BOOKS.

What did it matter if it was a retelling of a Broadway show? THAT'S WHAT SHE LIKES. PEOPLE SHOULD READ THINGS THAT MAKE THEM HAPPY.

Not long after, to show my support and encourage progress and all, I sent this text:

T: Do you like your book?

And it was followed, my future Tumblr friends who may one day read this though as of right now I'm just writing it to be dramatic and express my immense pride and joy, by this string of texts:

A: So far :)

T: Good!

T: *wipes tears*

A: I think

A: *gags*

(I had an inkling at this moment of what was happening)

T: XDDDD

A: I might

A: *gags*

(Yes, I was sure of it at this point, but...)

T: What is happening?!

A: Like

(I couldn't hold it any longer)

T: READING

A: *gags*

(I could hardly breathe for shaking)

T: Oh God

A: I can't even say it

T: I've been waiting for this moment all our friendship

T: SAY IT

A: (gag GIF, she likes the GIFs)

T: SAYYY IIIIIT

A: ITHINKIMIGHTLIKEREADING

Fireworks exploded. Choirs sang. Angels descended. World Peace was finally achieved. The hole in the ozone layer closed up. Magic exists and it is everywhere around us, my friends. It exists.

Not long after that, I received this from her fiancée:

And that, friends (or not), is the story of how Harry Potter and I turned my best friend into a reader.