#THANKS FOR READING IF YOU DID

[bluefiz]

He just doesn’t understand

[howdoyousleep3]

I would like to rant about motherhood and the awful things about it, read more bar is there if you don’t want to read it or engage with my rant. I don’t blame you if you want nothing to do with it, it’s more for me anyway lol

Never in my life have I ever felt so lonely and so depressed, just genuinely, at the core sad and alone.

I have people in my life, but I don’t have a village. My village is in shambles. It’s full of people who like to ask how I am, but don’t like to hear that I’m not well. The people I’ve reached out to got angry at me for reaching out, so I’ve just stopped reaching out. “I’m fine.” The people who have helped me with the girls fuck it up every fucking time, don’t listen to me or my wishes or my open anxieties. So, not only do I not share how I’m actually doing, now I don’t call on people to help me because it isn’t worth the trouble of them fucking up my children’s day-to-day life and schedule.

It’s impossible to not feel like a burden to others when their lives are unaffected, when they aren’t drowning like I am, when every aspect of their life hasn’t been greatly altered and twisted. I am not the same person I once was and I’ll never go back to her. I don’t know how to dress, I don’t know how to interact with people, I don’t know what my hobbies are. It’s hard to not feel like a bother when I’ve been this sad for this long.

No one understands if they haven’t done this before, if they haven’t become a mother. I understand what mothers before me were talking about when they told me motherhood is lonely. This is an experience that is so specific and can only be understood if you have experienced it. Another reason I don’t confide in others in my life— they don’t understand.

I’m so tired of the empty, “I’m sorry”s. I’m so tired of waking up and living the same day over and over. I’m so tired of my husband’s life being virtually unaffected by the birth of our girls while mine is so genuinely fucked up now.

I’m just so tired and so lonely and so sad.

And now Husband leaves in a week to start a new job three hours away and I’ll be staying here with the girls. Even more alone.

[lxmelle]

Just some thoughts on the observable pairs we see - satosugu and itafushi. Not really an analysis or anything - just sharing my observations. Blabbing as usual. I’m sure I’ll miss something, so feel free to comment or reblog!

Word vomit under cut (please be warned: I did say I wanted to blab ;_;)

I shared a more concise version on X but I guess I wanted to elaborate in a stream of consciousness style.

So here I am. Here you are. Feel free to click away if you’re get bored 🤓

There are parallels between Gojo & Geto and Yuji & Megumi; however, they’re inherently different people. I came across some tweets rethinking the last words in jjk 0, saying things like: this is how stsg should’ve done it, etc.

Yeah, I do get it... just... I just think they’re different people within a different set of circumstances. Could it have been different? Sure. But if they could have a chance to re-do something - at what point would one pick? How would that even guarantee the best outcome? No Toji? Haibara doesn’t die? Gojo admits he is lonely? Or Geto admitting he is lonely?

Mind you, they learnt about love through their separation... How would those lessons have been learnt? There would be no guarantees of Teacher AU being a reality. It would be nice, but that would be straying from the story that has been masterfully - albeit painfully littered with ANGST - written by Gege Akutami.

It is enough for me that Gojo and Geto reconciled at the end of their lives. Salvation. Being together for what could be eternity (for as long as they chose to stay) in 236 is, for me, already a beautiful bittersweet love story. Especially after all they’d been through. Anyway. My point is... context matters. I don’t really enjoy discourse over who did it better. They had what they had. They made the most of what they had. And the tragedy is what is relatable and is beautiful too. So once again, they’re unique characters within a setting that is different.

Their bonds are therefore, by extension, also very different, although there are similarities. I don’t want to engage in debates over which is superior - that’s not my point, intention or interest. They’re different and appreciable within their own uniqueness.

Friendship is friendship, and love is love, after all. But even within the expression of affection and love, our individual needs and/or methods of expressing such emotions will differ.

I think to consider themes and what insights we can gain from these two… We have to look at their situations in its entirety. Gojo, Nanami, and others from that generation learned about the necessity to protect the youth.

So I think: compared to what Yuji and Megumi had, it seems as if what Gojo and Geto had (in terms of emotional safety and intimacy) were with each other - and it was somewhat lacking due to their own individual limitations. They had no other significant persons to speak of - at least, for certain, for Gojo. Since we don’t know Geto’s history aside from how he had human parents and he was scouted <- But more on this later.

What Yuji and Megumi had was by no means adequate, I don’t think, but at least from what we can infer from Gojo and Geto, it was more than what they had. Not only because the adults within the sorcery world like Yaga, Nanami, Gojo, Shoko (perhaps?), and Ino were more involved than whoever else were teachers during Gojo & Geto’s time - but Yuji had gramps and Megumi had Tsumiki who offered the a glimpse of what familial love is.

They had some form of a secure bond in another person to offer a sense of security and inherent worth. Megumi lesser than Yuji, but this is also why we see him as an avoidant-ambivalent kind of person who is also much like his father who grew up emotionally deprived and rejected. His sense of worth came from being independent and aloof despite being emotionally and psychologically deep (and parched for compassionate & authentic human connection).

The school itself seemed to have more teachers and fellow students. Possibly fewer curses due to Geto’s active efforts for 10 years to amass 6k for the Night Parade. Furthermore, more sorcerers may mean fewer student casualties (fewer deaths like Haibara’s) and improved manpower to counter curses. And when it came to Yuji’s time, not only was he personally rather resilient, he had companionship with Nobara, Megumi, Todo, Choso... that bordered on familial love and likely assisted with maintaining his sanity when faced with the gruesome cruelties he witnessed & endured.

And circling back to Geto: We don’t know what Geto had growing up, but for him to be that emotionally attached to Gojo, and that way inclined to immediately rise to fury (at the abuse of the girls + having been asked to kill them) and seek to avenge, protect and become a parent in his teens - can can assume he was somewhat parentified himself. Meaning, he likely learned the need to play this role during his formative years - likely him childhood.

He felt highly responsible for everyone and his personality was as such where he took things very seriously & earnestly. The parallel was drawn between him and Yuta - the original “parallel pairing” from jjk 0. The world he was shown was far too cruel; especially for someone who felt the weight of the world on his shoulders and didn’t know how to share it with someone who he probably saw Gojo as shouldering it in his own way. The perfectionist that was Geto who tried to live sincerely and be a role model ended up falling through a gap, leaving him with no choice but to force himself to keep living towards some kind of a redemptive goal, within a punishing life consuming vile curse after curse (his only source of stress), to either succeed a crazy dream, or die trying to Gojo’s hand. But he remained true to himself - Geto lived for others. He was only ever shown to be selfish with one thing: Gojo. (Don’t follow me: It won’t be bad to die by your hand. I’m envious.)

They had no capacity - knowledge, experience, or language to reconcile their differences. It wasn’t as if anyone showed them how to share the burden. Right? Throughout HI - did anyone offer comfort to Geto? That man was so very much like a “mum” who mops up shit and vomit without complaining. The emotional and mental burden. I wrote about this before - Gojo is masculine-coded (Yang energy). Geto is Yin. This is another parallel with Megumi and Yuji. Shadows - Yin. Yuji is kind of dazzling isn’t he? Light, heat, strength. Yang.

And Gojo? The “sheltered but forced to grow up too quickly” boy probably never knew what being nurturing love or unconditional love meant until Geto came along. Probably never thought he needed it. When touched by someone’s love and compassion like this - isn’t it natural to just react to it? To lean into it like a monkey separated from its mother, with only a warm furry surrogate to cling onto? Never thought he needed it until it was no longer there. Why? It would be enough to inflict some kind of an identity crisis for someone like Gojo Satoru. How could someone NOT want him for his strength?! For the first time Gojo Satoru probably felt a vulnerability he could not bring himself to eliminate.

With a background like theirs: It’s no wonder what they developed was a form of codependency. They complemented one another in so many ways - it was effortless and natural. Both strong, both intrigued by each other, could keep up with conversations, engage in mischievous cheekiness, etc.

They almost/probably(?) completed one another - but of course, what fulfils a person cannot just be one other person alone. Especially as a monster like Gojo Satoru with a thirst for fulfilment of his powers and someone like Geto Suguru who needed to have a deep meaning and purpose in life.

Think about a sportsperson and a philanthropist, respectively. Neither should be expected to concede to the other and be forced to be satisfied with the other alone. It doesn’t and shouldn’t work that way.

The respect and love they had for each other was profound. It was beyond themselves. So they did their best to support each other without an open conversation in the 10 years - just like a quiet love. Apart from each other. Despite the time and distance, their selfishness and possessiveness for each other was also telling of their twisted love - it’s crazy exclusivity. Geto calling Yuta a womaniser simply for healing/having a friend in Maki and then processing his love for Rika? That still makes me chuckle. As much as Gojo liking dogs (source GIGA character book) because Geto was once mistaken for Takeru the dog. 😂 unbelievable. Other examples: I’ll die to your hand. If you were there I’d be satisfied. Hm. Yeah. Crazy exclusivity. Almost at the expense of themselves...

Anyway. In terms of bonds: The codependency between Gojo & Geto is both a positive & negative. Maybe a byproduct of their generation & lack of emotional support within that time. The title as the strongest was a burden to Gojo & Geto (together and individually) that was different to that of what Yuji and Megumi carry respectively. So the context, era, setting, etc. would’ve shaped them differently too.

It’s also worth remembering that Megumi’s level of self importance, like Yuji, is not like that of Gojo or Geto who carried the weight of huge responsibility from a young age. Their bond was also therefore a little bit more twisted comparative to what Yuji and Megumi have.

And despite the short time together, we do see a the beginnings of preciousness between them with Yuji being determined to at least reach Megumi with a conversation in his fight with Sukuna - despite the insane power difference.

It’s absolutely mind-blowing when I think about this teenager going head to head with this old fart who is on the level of a calamity and has taken countless lives. And earlier on, soulful yet apprehensive Megumi not wanting someone compassionate like Yuji to die. Even making a request with Gojo to do something about it. Like a sense of inner knowing that the other was someone special and worth protecting. Yin is also associated with intuition.

They also underwent transformation where “if you die I’ll kill you” is now replaced by a different dialogue spurred on by Megumi’s honest narrative of the simple pleasures of living… and the devastation of his very down to earth/humble dreams being dashed and Yuji’s heartfelt response that showed acceptance and love beyond himself for Megumi’s plight. It was really moving. The power of such a love and the capacity of Yuji to grow as he did. Perhaps it was also because he was given the ingredients (love, faith, friendship, belief, resolve, etc.) to nourish him whenever he faced adversity. I mean, resilience is about growing from “trauma” and overcoming the tendency to hide which can result in becoming brittle (therefore weak).

Anyway. They’re like Gojo & Geto on a speedrun. But that is not the only difference… The forcible nature of having their bodies & wills violated - taken over as vessels for Sukuna- used to commit crimes against their desires - is something they share. A point of reference that can lend itself to relating to one another. It stimulates protectiveness. Compassion & connection.

Surely a common enemy changes things? Gojo & Geto could not see eye to eye when it came to it. Timing wasn’t on their side. Almost as it lateness was a theme. It was difficult to be vulnerable to one another. It almost mimics real life generational differences. They existed in a different world. When a common enemy is present, it is normal to rally together. Once again, their roles were different. Stronger than their sensei. Their expectations will be different as a result. Tengen requested their assistance.

Were the younger generation shielded from such burdens? I’d say so. Those on the frontlines within the school probably also changed (a little) after Geto defected, especially with Gojo using his influence to save and protect his students. We saw how Yaga reflected on his regrets as a teacher, relating to Gojo who opted to be a teacher too.

I think it was horrendous how nobody really noticed or anticipated that Geto would struggle the way he did. It was left to a peer (Gojo) we had no personal resources to support Geto in his own youth. It didn’t make sense. There was a lot lacking, as we know. It was a different time with someone to shield the young sorcerers to some degree. There was already a “strongest” (Gojo) when they were born.

Further, Gojo did his best to offer the kids something different - with Megumi having a different option to the Zenin & Nanami’s involvement with Yuji.

Their loneliness have subtle differences, so Gojo wasn’t lonely (in 236) with the companionship of others after being taught how to connect with people by Geto, but he still needed Geto to feel fully satisfied.

I think that’s why Geto said he was envious, because he assumed after hearing those words that Gojo was fully satisfied - eventhough his last words to Geto must have implied that Geto was important to him. Geto had a void that only Gojo could fill but he was, as ever, conceding enough in his love for Gojo to say “as long as you’re satisfied I’m relieved for you.”

Gojo corrected him by telling him he still needed him to feel fully satisfied. Implying it was something only Geto could fulfil. Gojo’s heart grew to accommodate his students and everyone but the shape in his heart of Geto was for Geto to fill.

Similarly for Geto, when he defected, he also wore the Gojo kesa like a lingering connection (longing/codependency). He did not feel he could smile as sincerely as he once could after he committed the crime and had to leave his best friend’s side to pursue the only option left.

Their love was somewhat twisted in nature, as it blessed/saved & cursed them equally. They needed other things to fulfil them but their bond was irreplaceable.

I’ll say it again: a partner’s place isn’t replaceable by students, children, friends, etc. Especially if it was someone you truly love. You can grow around the grief but the shape left behind by that person is still the same shape of that person.

Another way I conceptualise it is how they feel that the other completes them. On their own they feel incomplete. Lacking. Therefore to Gojo, Geto was a part of him. So he would feel incomplete (as a person) without Geto - within this kind of codependent bond.

It was noticed by others like Shoko who pictured them as a pair who seemed like nothing could come between them. A pair who she could never fall in love with individually, or offer to one what the other offered... (love, of course) but she was there. Shoko was never one to shoulder the burden of strength and the involvement it entails, but shouldered the entirety of having to witness passively (helplessly) from the sidelines. This was symbolic of their roles. Fighter versus medic. Gojo & Geto in a world of their own. They were the strongest. Somehow this role mattered to them. What a burden of responsibility that could erode their human nature. Don’t you think?

Back to parallels: With Yuji & Megumi, their relationship is younger. Despite the year between them the apprehensive Megumi already trusted Yuji so much that he considered him a brother on the same level as his sister. He’s a good judge of character. I always enjoyed how perceptive Megumi was.

With the loss of Tsumiki, I’m sure the bond will change / deepen as he realises his value as a person (not just observer standing behind Yuji & Tsumiki) with a new reason to live/fight. Adopting the same purpose as Yuji, perhaps, for each other. We do not know how much they rely on the other for fulfilment, but I’m encouraged that their bond will be unique and rich after these life experiences. How could it not be? How could Megumi not respond to such a kind & heartfelt expression of sincerity? Because Yuji isnt asking anything of Megumi : he was very simply saying: I’ll accept you, Megumi. What a demonstration of unconditional love and compassion. Incredible. It reminded me of how Gojo found the words to say to Geto to save his soul at the end of jjk 0. But once again, lateness seems to be a theme for the older generation.

As it stands, Megumi wished to see Tsumiki with Yuji and he observed from behind. Once again his level of self importance wasn’t high. Neither was Yuji who felt he was a cog in the wheel, a sacrificial vessel, etc. until recently. Gojo and Geto grew with the notion that had set roles to fulfil as the strongest. This was true of the time. And when we think of who they had around them… each other. Gojo and Geto were very codependent so they’d imagine themselves walking together. But in the end I can see how Geto felt like he was watching Gojo from behind. And Gojo felt he watched Geto leave - twice over; the final time to his own hand. Thank goodness for 236.

So I think the relationships have parallels but they are different… I don’t think this can translate into the last words in 0. Gojo admitting he will miss Geto or that he would be lonely - would sound too much like a curse. Thematically the only thing that fits is “I love you”. But the unsaid implications for the feelings (will we meet again, loneliness, my best friend, I love you, etc.) were all hinted at.

The similarities between them as individuals are many, for example : Geto and Yuji consume curses, and I think the intimate knowledge of this helped them have empathy. Geto and Megumi manipulate shadows/curses/creatures. Gojo and Yuji are strong in constitution and cope with adversity with resilience. Further, Gojo and Yuji suffered loss of someone important and witnessed their suffering, allowing them to let go out of compassionate mercy, despite the loneliness it created for themselves. Gojo and Megumi were blessed with historically revered Cursed Techniques. Being vessels also became a parallel: Yuji and Megumi to Sukuna & Geto to Kenjaku and Gojo to Kenjaku’s technique via Yuta. In this sense, Yuji and Gojo both became vessels upon their own volition.

For someone like Gojo he may not have struggled with the loss of comrades in the past and in the future. Geto did and this was also what broke him without the support to maintain his emotional wellbeing. Yuji saw far too much tragedy within a short space of time and the difference is not only in his personality but the availability of people around him who regarded him as family - Todo, Choso, etc. Megumi is like Geto in that sense where they were selective in who they wished to save, knowing their limitations maybe, or the wickedness within their flawed humanity. But the loss of the important ones also broke them. So I think in that way they respected and admired those who could remain objective like Yuji and Gojo.

Loneliness was a given. Gojo could not ask Geto to live, & at the end of 0 Geto must have thought that someone (strong & objective) like Gojo who raised such students & could cope with the deaths of others better than he, should be allowed to keep living on a righteous path after all - so he could die with a peaceful heart knowing he was loved by Gojo even after “leaving him behind” and urged to live righteously on a different path. He also didn’t kill any sorcerers which was the group he chose to protect.

They were both lonely in life, needed each other to feel complete (codependency), so in 236 they reunited as a form of salvation. As many others have said... 236 was also like a comfort for satosugu fans because without it, 261 would’ve been even more painful.

With just 5 chapters until the end... I’m not really ready for the series to end, but I’m so grateful Gege sees that he can can finish it as he envisions. Hopefully we get a satisfying conclusion to Yuji & Megumi (and end up getting some bonus side stories or backstories).

Ah I’ve rambled far too much. All this is just my opinion / observations of course. Parallels are parallels but they don’t necessarily overlap. I’m looking forward to seeing how the relationships of the new generation will unfold.

…and not forgetting about the fate of Yuta & Rika 😣 since they go back into 0 & have similar parallels with the pairs.

Hopefully curses can save people’s souls too...

[chickenchungus]

Nightmares

The place was in shambles, with smoke and debris everywhere. People scrambled to not fall, praying to make it out alive. It was freezing, the ice on the sea made everything so cold, and the smell of gunpowder and blood was very prominent. The stench was unbearable; this horrible metallic odour was so strong, and that terrible wet feeling was everywhere. Why was it all so wet? Ace, where are we? Ace?

Where is everyone? It's dark; I can't see. Ace, what's happening? Why is everyone running?

We were in our tree house, just us three. What happened? How did this all change so fast? This isn't fun anymore. I need you by my side. I can't have you leave me. I need you. I need you. I need you. How could you leave? Please don't go. I don't want to be alone. Weren't we supposed to accomplish everything together? Are you leaving me because I'm not strong enough? Am I not good enough? I'm sorry, I couldn't save you.

I don't think I can cry any harder, Ace. My face feels rough, kind of like a rock. I didn't know tears could make your face so stiff. I didn't know I could cry this loudly; it's hard to breathe. I think I might be drowning. I'm sorry; I couldn't help being a crybaby. I can't live without you, please. My skin hurts. I want the pain to stop. It's burning me. I didn't get burned. I don't know why it hurts so much.

Ace, why does it hurt? Why are you sleeping at a time like this? Ace, please wake up. I still need you.

There was some muffled yelling—something about screaming and shaking. I think they were calling out to me. I'm not sure. I just want Ace to be okay. I hope he's okay.

[starfish-comics]

SO I'm gonna ramble about a thing, I guess.

I love this game so much! But I feel like if there's one big complaint I have about it, it's that I have never felt like it gave me a genuine reason to feel motivated towards the goal of becoming Divine. I mean as a disclaimer, I tend to lean really heavily into the roleplay aspect of any game I play, and I get really invested in playing my characters authentically and having them do what they would really do, and obviously that approach is ultimately better suited to TTRPGs than video games where you often just have to accept that the game's goals are your goals whether you relate to them or not. Which is fine and that's why I also play dnd.

And also, I've been told that if you play an origin character this is a little bit less of an issue, because their backstories give them personal reasons for wanting to be Divine. And I can't speak to that because I've only played as my gal Artemisia.

But it feels to me like Divinity is essentially a position that gives you a godlike amount of power, and if absolute power is something that feels appealing to you or your character, then it works, but if it doesn't, then it kind of falls flat and feels like you are just doing all these things because the game told you to.

Like when I started, I had the idea of Artemisia as being this sort of dopey hedge-witch who got dropped into all this larger political stuff and was in a bit over her head with it. In Fort Joy she was mostly motivated to escape. By the time she got to Reaper's Coast her experiences had radicalized her, so she was more actively motivated to work against the Magisters, but if anything seeing all these power players in the world being so evil in pursuit of absolute power made her all the more convinced that no one should really have the level of power that Divinity entailed.

Like I don't know, maybe I should have just made a character who would want that kind of power more? But when so much of the game is focused on the enormous amounts of harm done by people with too much power who are convinced that they deserve even more, it feels weird to then have the highest goal of the game be to acquire absolute power more or less for its own sake. Idk, I just feel like they could have done a better job setting up the story so any type of character would have some plausible reason to think Divinity was a thing they should want.

And boy oh boy am I gradually getting more and more consumed by anxiety that the game is going to railroad me into fighting Sebille and Lohse. All the other stuff I just said is really just me kvetching because I want every game I play to be all roleplay all the time, and ultimately I know this is a video game and not dnd and having your choices limited is part of that and it's fine. But if I get forced to fight these gals after spending untold hours of gameplay befriending them and flirting with them and getting super attached to them and emotionally invested in their relationships, I am Actually Going to Be Very Upset.

Like oh my gosh it's dropping so many hints that that's what's going to end up happening and I just really really really really hope there's a way around it because no one wants to see me cry while playing this game.

[rainwater71]

May I ask for a prinxiety rant? They are my favorite boys and I'd love to hear your thoughts on them 💜❤️

YES 100% YES.

This is gonna be like a whole essay so buckle up, and also please excuse how all over the place this is

A creativity and an anxiety being together I feel like just makes sense. Like, they’re working together and having a healthy relationship instead of trying to work against each other(?) and I feel like the flirting with social anxiety asides episode is a great example of that, Virgil saw Roman sad and pushed Thomas to talk to Nico. And Thomas in exploring nostalgia says “so I might not have had Roman create half as many of the stories and worlds he did without Virgil giving you reason to.” And of course Roman saying that Virgil is what pushes Thomas to rehearse and rehearse in accepting anxiety. To put it simply, Virgil loves Roman and lets him actually do stuff instead of holding him back. (I hope this makes sense lmao)

There’s also so many moments between them to, like all the small comments that they make towards each other that MELTS MY HEART.

List of my favorite moments:

-in 12 days of Christmas Roman looks at Virgil after saying “my true love gave to me” and when Logan asks who the true love is he quickly says that it’s not important

-Roman saying that making fun of things is how she shows his love (he makes fun of Virgil obv)

-once again the entirety of flirting with social anxiety

-‘anxiety’s the fairest of them all’

-all the nicknames

-just the word ‘Princey’ honestly

-Virgil saying ‘no one hates you’ in learning new things about ourselves, idk it just means so much more coming from him rather than Patton or something

-in alone on Valentine’s Day Virgil says that talking to someone you like could make you get ‘tongue tied, jumbled, confused’ and then in fitting in when Virgil changes his look Roman does exactly that

-‘don’t worry, everyone loves the villain’

-Roman not taking back calling Virgil hot topic 🤷‍♀️

-And of course In new sketch (the sides need a nice day) Virgil tries to bond with Roman by kinda mixing their interests together, of course lowkey fails but it’s the effort that counts.

Anyways thanks for reading if you did! Ik this most likely didnt make that much sense and that some of those moments are random but I hope it was somewhat understandable, and honestly I could go on for hours but I’m not trying to write a 100k word essay lmao.

[satari-raine]

Forever a turtle, but life update:

Got a job! It's a retail position at a local thrift store chain, which is a tiny bit disheartening for some dumb personal reasons, but it's certainly something - overall, though, it's a good thing. Hopefully it'll help get my finances back in order and a sense of routine again. It'll be a bit rocky at the start, catching up on bills and getting used to retail again, but it's something.

Just wanted to say a genuine thank you to those that helped out and gave well wishes during me rambling on here for a few months. It meant and still means a lot to me, it really does. Hope you all are doing well, too, as always. Rooting for you.

[matookahitaki]

don't know if i'll do more art, i really want to but i am in constant pain and it's so incredibly horrible to want to contribute more to this fandom now that it's over but not being able to. i made some amazing friends and mutuals and i dont want to stop making content, i'll post when i can but i doubt i'll be as active as i usually was. i'll still be on tumblr and on my main account but i wont be as active in the star wars fandom as a whole

Little Q&A:

Why are you in pain?

I have developed arthritis at the tender age of 23 and it's very prominent in my hands(which i use to do art)

When are you active?

I am active in the early morning and in the evening mostly, i still check daily to see if there are comments/tags/messages for me.

What is your main blog and what do you post?

@makahitaki and its exclusivly memes and things i fancy(star wars, art, music, shows i watch, ramblings about anything and everything)

Are you leaving the star wars fandom?

NO!!! i love it here and im still here but as an artist in the fandom i feel like i have a responsibility to create, both for myself and for others who enjoy what i post, so i still very much am here and i still love most of star wars. im not going anywhere!

[kakusu-shipping]

You’re all getting another unpromted headcanon dump because I’m very personally tired of the “Mario would hide his struggles and trauma post Movie from Luigi because he doesn’t want to look weak and keep up the appearance of the Strong Older Brother” take. Don’t Eldest Daughter Syndrome Mario. He and Luigi are a team. A pair. He would tell Luigi everything.

Anyway here’s everything I think Mario personally struggles with and would rely on Luigi for

The Mario movie put it very blatantly on the table that Mario’s a little touchy about his height. It’s probably more so because he’s use to being picked on as The Short Guy on the sports team rather than it really actually bothering him all that much. He’s just assumes someone calling him short is an insult. The only personal problem he has with it is being shorter than Luigi. They spent a lot of their childhood the same height, and Luigi being taller still messes them both up from time to time

This is another left over from Highschool; Mario and Luigi (accidentally) kind of fell into the trope of the Smart twin and the Sporty twin, with Mario being the ladder. This messed with his head in a way he couldn’t really articulate, being expected to be a Meathead like the other guys on his sports teams did actually cause his grades to go down, especially in Math which use to be his best subject, which of course caused a lot of concerned backlash from their parents, especially his dad. Now he has it locked in his brain somewhere he’s stupid when he’s not.

He’s bad with people. Luigi’s a lot more of a people person than he is. He has a hard time connecting to people, or making simple small talk. He can be pretty blunt, or awkward, and maybe a bit aggressive sounding, especially to someone not use to how loud and confidently he speaks. As he gets older he gets quieter, speaks less, falls into a much more comfortable selective mute life style, and it suits him much better than trying to fumble through talking to people. He prefers to listen

He’s definitely a workaholic, he’d gotta be busy busy busy all the time. A lot of people will see him run from one project to the next, never turning down a request for help with something, constantly juggling tasks and working on something in his spare time and think it’s all because he’s such a nice, hard working guy. But no. It’s the stress of not doing enough. Or because he anxious being alone. Luigi’s the only one who knows Mario will keep going till he crashes, and is the one to always stop him and remind him he’s doing enough, he’s enough. Take a break.

Mario’s always struggled with separation anxiety. He’s never been one for the whole concept of “alone time”, he’d much rather be near people he loves and trusts and can relax around. He use to joke it stems from being born first, those few moments before Luigi was born was more than enough alone time for a life time. He tries to wave it off occasionally, but it really is a problem. If he is ever left alone, say Luigi goes off on some grand adventure without him, he finds things to work on until he passes out, and then just sleeps and lays about until Luigi comes back.

[gojo-mochi]

Personal 👇 tw death

Today marks one year since my mom passing. I feel… sad but not sad enough? Idk feelings and emotions and grief is weird. A lot of things happened this year, bad things haha but some good things! I wish I could tell her all the good things that happened to me in person and tell her that I finally got back into writing again. Though I know she’s resting now and she’ll hear me thru my prayers. This isn’t really anything I just wanted to get my thoughts out in someway and not have it wriggle inside of me.

[halliwellauto]

It is kind of funny and maybe bad that the people that work the night shift at whataburger know me by now.

My youngest can't live without her fries from there. No matter what mama tries to do to make them taste somewhat the same, they're not.

Also trying to get her on a normal routine when she, her brother and I are night owls.

The ups and downs of motherhood.

I love them to bits though. They are worth it.

[ghostsofharrenhal]

word dump ahead:

antsy over career news this week until i get that prospective email anytime now

getting back into cartomancy through lenormand, this aspect has been well; i got a pretty deck made by a local artist friend

also getting back to dancing, let's see if it works both for my physical and mental wellbeing

got my coffee supply for work - strong local ground beans and specialty sugar

finished 3 books within a month, 2 from local women writers/journalists

also spent so much in less than a month, probably overcompensating for all these breakdowns

should write more, pen-and-paper, just to get myself off of doomscrolling/swiping so often

[skeletalhorse]

I'm all up in my feelings. You've been warned.

I had a dream about my dad last night. This November will be 15 years since he died. I've only had a handful of dreams about him since he's been gone and I'm salty about it. But I had a nice dream last night. He came home and was healthy and looked normal. I hugged him and we talked for a long time. It just sucks that in real life I can hardly remember what his voice sounded like. I miss him.

Also, my partner leaves for Canada tomorrow for another fucking work trip. I'm going to have a tough week.

[joshbruh10x]

So I just heard the audio a few days ago and went hey you kow what I can do something with this so now here's a small short for the zombie au. Consider this as like a teaser or some sort of hype up for the next chap ig.

Is this semi torturing Monty during his bite? Maybe

Fun fact this was supposed to be the end pic transition but like i chose to scrap it instead, so uhh here it is tho

[urdepressedslut]

this is totally unrelated to writing but i’ve just been dealing with some things and i’ve finally realized that when i’m with someone (platonic/romantic) i give them all my love, i tear my own heart out and let them keep it, i basically bleed for them… i realize that i love too much, and that’s the problem. everyone always ends up walking away, and they never are willing to give me their everything like i do.

yeah it hurts, but i gotta keep moving.

[srldesigns6277]

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