#THANK YOU FOR READING IM PROUD O FTHIS ONE

[ashtreegt]

a g/t story about touch

Sae’s Meditation on Touch, Freedom, and Warmth. 

Cutting through the churning waves of the Great Wine Sea is a ship, a merchant vessel ripped apart and rebuilt too many times to count. Her night-dark hull is one with the inky shadows, disappearing and reappearing from vision in great swaths of black wood, seeming infinitely large. She does not sleep through this night, nor does she any. There is no stillness that can be found aboard but in the air of the cabins below. 

Sae, residing down in the deepest bowels of the MS. Maelstrom, has never known total stillness. Their youngest years were spent in tree-bark houses that swayed in the canopy. Their oldest memories are heavy with the din of life hidden in the trees, the secretive whispering of leaves in the wind, the heavy flapping of wings, all of it now parodied and replaced by the lurching movement and unnatural din of the Maelstrom. 

It's not healthy to consider the past. 

But to forget… 

How long will they be here until they can't remember a time before they wore this chain? 

Sae’s feathers ruffle down his back, a prickling chill racing through him. 

May the world forbid it. 

Sae curls into themself, chilled despite the burning candle. They press their thighs to their chest and wrap their wings around their slight form. Their face stays uncovered, their gaze stays fixed on their newest companion. 

Melody sleeps in a canvas hammock, her head is thrown back and her mouth lays open, one arm hangs down, as wide and strong as an ash tree. Her hammock sways with the rocking of the ship, dragging her limp hand across the floor. There is only the sound of her breathing, of the gentle scrape of her knuckles over the floorboard. 

It is easier like this. To have someone in the room, alive, reminding Sae that they still live. Melody shifts in her sleep, humming a toneless note and turning her face away from the light. 

It will only last, Sae reminds themself, this facsimile of companionship, until the Maelstrom reaches Mailon’s ports.  

Then Melody will be free. 

Sae rises and stretches their pale, skinny wings, casting a shadow over the hammock. He hops into the air, gliding a short distance to land on Mel's foot, their claws digging into her thick woolen sock. Sae stares down at the being below them, her breathing long and slow, impossibly large, as most creatures on Red are. Her sock is warmed by the candle, but not much else. Hammocks don't do much for insulation, but this room is at least deep in the body of the ship, far from any night breeze that tries to creep through the hull’s cracks. Melody will be warm enough, large as she is, but Sae, slight and sickly from their years in the dark, cannot escape the chill that pricks them. 

They can only imagine that warmth. 

Sae’s chain hangs to drape itself over Mel’s ankle like grim jewelry. It's stupid to approach another creature, a sleeping creature. Stupid to come even this close. 

But Sae doesn't leave, stupid as it is. They take another hopping step towards the flat expanse of her sleeping chest, lured and soothed by the gentle rise and fall of it. It's just out of sync with the waves that rock them. Sae’s chain drags behind him, trailing up Mel’s leg, clinking gently as he moves. To her, the sound would be insignificant. Hidden beneath the noise of the world. By the scraping of her knuckle on the floorboard.  

It's loud to Sae. 

They step onto the solid plane of her hip bone, flexing their talons in the fabric beneath, warm with life. The living ground shifts as Sae crosses onto the soft stretch of her stomach, rising and falling. Sae's balance isn't shaken by Mel's breathing, they've earned their sea legs many times over. They stand steady just below her navel, gazing up at her face as he is lifted up and down. Sae can feel her pulse beneath their talons, can hear the deeper, stronger pounding of her heart only a few inches deep. To join her, Sae needs only to kneel, to lower themself to lay atop the life-warm coal of Melody’s heart. 

They do. 

The cotton of her nightshirt is warm as if it was laying in the sun, and beneath the fabric, seeping through to melt the chill from Sae’s flesh, is living heat. Sae spreads his wings, letting the strained muscles lay flat and slowly, bit by bit, relaxes into the tender warmth. A shaky breath escapes them, unbidden. He can do nothing but close his eyes and listen to the heartbeat that pounds a beat against their slim form.  

They won't fall asleep here. It wouldn't be safe, not at all. But it is nice to doze, to bask in the heat and the rhythmic beating of her heart. Sae keeps their self made promise. Their eyes stay cracked open, gazing out to nowhere, basking in the heat below them, infinitely warmer than the meager fire of the candle. 

Sae does not weep, but something tender and vulnerable unfurls in their chest, making their wings droop a little further. His eyes are closed now, savoring the momentary sweetness, and they are closed still when an unyielding, warm swath of thick skin presses them to Melody’s chest. Sae flails reflexively, their wings flapping, legs lashing, but the heat that surrounds them saps their fight the longer no harm comes. Mel’s hand does not come down to crush, just lays over top of Sae, palm slightly cupped to give them ample space. He could slip out if he tried. 

It's for these reasons that he doesn't. They stay beneath Melody's cupped hand and rest, contented and calm. Her hand is massive above him, though nothing at all like the violentsailors who would grab at him. Her fingers are long and delicate, the skin of her palm soft but for her calloused fingertips from her years of plucking strings. Sae turns their face into the crook of one of her fingers and sighs at the peace and darkness there. She does not move to hurt him, just holds her warm heavy hand over his form. 

Slowly, the chill abates. Their tiny tremors cease, ones that Sae had not noticed until they were gone. Their wings buzz with life, prickling as the cold flesh reawakens, and Sae stretches deeply, an unwitting coo welling from their throat. Melody hums in response, a deep, warm rumbling trembles through Sae's body like rolling thunder. 

When was the last time they felt like this? Safe and whole. Warm. 

The heat stretches its generous fingers through the whole of Sae's body, and continues even then. Sae’s brow furrows, their wings twitching with an energy they should not possess. Then, like a cup overflowing and spilling out, Sae feels it. The rush of energy, of power, of life- the burning familiar feeling of their body being overrun with Vitavi.

It is not their mind but their body that tears out of Melody’s feather-soft grasp. He flies across the room, nearly burning himself on their candle, and lands in a heap, leaning forward and gripping the damnable collar, pulling the iron band as far from his chafed throat as he can. The chain swings pendulously from their neck, glinting like a weapon in the dimness. Power prickles through their wings, but it isn't… it isn't… 

Sae chances a glance up. 

Melody has awoken, her enormous form sits in silent stillness but for the rocking of her hammock. She watches Sae, her dark eyes reflecting the candlelight. Sae watches her watch him, and breathes. It was Melody, and she wasn't trying to hurt him. It really doesn't feel at all like the chain’s enchantment, now that Sae is focusing. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't leave their body trembling almost too hard to stand, burning with an unnatural energy. 

“Are you alright?” Melody asks, her voice whispered and rough with sleep. “Did I hurt you?” 

“No.” Sae manages to choke out, still clutching the collar. “You didn't. I'm not hurt.” 

“You left in a hurry.” Mel mumbles, lying back down. “Why were you sleeping on me?”

“I wasn't sleeping,” Sae defends, rising to their feet and folding their wings behind them. The initial rush of Vitavi has abated by now, leaving nothing but a buzz of pleasant warmth. “I was getting warm.” 

“Ah.” Mel intones with an air of understanding. “We can share my hammock, Sae. If it's too cold here.” 

“You don't worry you'll crush me?” Sae asks skeptically, rustling their wings and gliding closer, landing on the barrel on which their candle burns   

“I'm a sound sleeper, I've been told.” Melody says, sounding as though she were already slipping back into sleep. Sae almost thinks she has when she speaks again, sleepy and low, her voice rumbling deeply through the still air. 

“Why did you fly away?” 

Sae stands in silence but for the slight rustling of feathers for a few moments, as if Melody might forget her question and fall asleep, but her eyes stay open and fixed curiously on him.

“You… put your hand over me. While you were sleeping,” Sae says slowly, swallowing past a strange lump in his chest. “And channeled your Vitavi into me. I didn't realize what you were doing until it overflowed. It…” 

“I'm sorry,” Melody says, stronger and clearer now. Sae raises his head to see Mel risen up on her elbows, her eyes still fixed on him. “I hope it wasn't like with-” 

“It wasn't.” Sae says, firmly enough that it surprises themself. “It… didn't feel anything like the curse. It wasn't unnatural.” 

Melody relaxes, sinking back into her hammock. Sae hops up onto the canvas edge, 

“Did it stay?” Melody asks in a whisper. “The Vitavi?” 

Sae pauses, staring off into nothing as they look inward. They can feel the warmth being pulled away, drawn into the iron collar. He can feel the prickling cold pushing in at the edges, snarling to reclaim him. 

“The curse is siphoning it,” Sae admits quietly. “But it's… slower. It doesn't hurt as much.” 

“Good.” Melody breathes, closing her eyes. “I didn't intend to send my magic into you, but I know why I did it… I can sense it, how depleted your Vitavi is. It feels like a cold spot that I’m drawn to fill.” 

“Yeah.” Sae sighs. “That's what it feels like for me, too.” 

They spend a few seconds in silent stalemate as Sae wavers on the edge of the hammock. 

“Come lay with me?” Melody asks, the raspy whisper like leaves in the wind. 

They do.