#THANK YOU!!! SO MUCH!!! YOU CUTIEPIE REALLY!!!! UGH

[underworld-park-offical]

Oh dear me! What an interesting question!

While Phillip does have some problems with managing his temper, myself and the other's have grown accustomed to it. I've helped him with breathing techniques and I've even giving him his very own smash room! (He greatly apricates it, I know that because every time I tidy up that room is a disaster).

Thank you very much for the compliment, bestjeanistwife! I got my clothes from the Goodwill in hell! I love to thrift as a past time.

Raising Phillip and the others is a bit difficult, (I tend to be a worrywart...) that challenge will not stop me! They simply love it when I do story time and make their meals. I've coddled Thomas, Tweek and Phillip since they were young (with Gregory's help of course). I'm very proud to call all three of them my sons :)

With love,

Estella <3

NOOOO WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKK!!!!! I LITERALLY NEED MY X IT'S LIKE, MY WHOLE LIFE OUTSIDE OF TIKTOK!!!!

-Craig_The_Real_Tucker

Ahhh!!! I love it when people ask me this question!!! X33333

I REALLY love the sped up version of Epileptic Techno from YFM!!!! It's new but its SO GOOD!!! I also recommend ANY sped up hyperpop song (sugarcrash, doritos and fritos, bloodstains, funnee hat freestyle, etc) I'm also a sucker for the classics!!! Yknow, like butterfly and pikagirl XDDDD!!! They're just so GOOODD!!! I can give you some of my playlists!!! Hope this helps!!!

-Playlist 1 (Made by @zemoleinyourtrashcan {Mod Noah})

-Playlist 2 (Made by @cattpup5 {Mod Jello})

-Clyde X3

*UGH, YOU LITERALLY CORRECTED ME!!! STOP, NOW!!! YOU'RE AN ALIEN

Jesus dude, calm down.

Your misspelling is giving me a migrane

Just put the phone away.

I really think it would benefit you

-Tolkien

Oh how sweet! I love you too, my darling fan! Don't think I forgot about the rest of you cutiepies! I love you all too! Kisses!! xoxo

-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd

Hooray! May I ask if it's vegan this time? I'm not eating meat at the moment. If not, I can just make myself some tofu or go to the Veggie Grill on the overworld, I don't want to trouble you in making a second meal when you worked so hard on the first.

I'll be sure to be careful when going down the stairs, too.

-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd

[hwan-g]

You know, this is refreshing because it's not the MC having the voice kink, it's Felix. I don't know that was like my first thought, honestly. I was like "yay Mari is giving us what we deserve!" and I mean, you always do. You never fail to deliver, you awesome creature. <3

I'll start off by saying I adore the friendship between Changlix, but I also adore how nonchalant the relationship between Bin and the MC is. It's obvious they care for each other, but I don't think I've ever read about friends with benefits that don't end up together, and again, it was super, super fresh to read. I loved it so much! The other thing is--how you wrote Felix. I could clearly see him in this story, and ten times out of ten that happens in your stories, so it's nothing I haven't mentioned before, but I don't know, man, his character really gave me the ~vibes~ I very much appreciate it every time, Mari, and I want to let you know.

Felix feels his legs tremble. You’re so beautiful.

It's just so cute!! And he's so considerate throughout which was so real of him, like what a friend, you know, even till the end, because sorry, but if that was me? I'd have caved right then and there, and #noregrets whatsoever. I liked that you kept that true to his character, a friend through and through, exactly how I picture him. Always wanting to do the right thing.

The smut sequences. Mari, your talent. It's not easy writing smut, God knows how fucking hard it is, because you're not always in the mood, or it falls flat or it's just downright horrible and you're cursing ever becoming a writer, but YOU??? You never miss!! I'm not sure if it's awkward to say or not, but it always makes sense, and it's never crude? Which just speaks on your skill. It fits the mood of every story you write, it's never copy/paste.

Short paragraph for FELIX'S COOKING????? He's so fucking amazing, and I love that he's so giving and genuinely wants people to try his dishes/baking and like them and enjoy them. This is a whole separate rant, though, and I don't want to do it here, but just. MY BABY. MY SUNSHINE. <333 :')

He can only think about you, about this arrangement between you and Changbin. There’s no confusion in his mind. He wants it too - but not with anyone else. He wants to fuck you. He wants you to text him so you can hang out. It can’t happen. He wants it too.  He can’t have you.  He has to make his peace with it. 

THE ANGST OF IT ALL. I'M BUBBLING WITH EXCITEMENT. I LiveTM for pining. It's my favorite thing on planet earth to write about. There's just so much underlined emotion, and Felix is the perfect candidate for it all. It's just unraveling in such an organic, natural way, and I guess this is all to say that you write Felix really, really well and we are all PRIVILEGED to read this story cutiepie <3 Thank you for posting, and for taking time out of your day to give us these masterpieces!

Felix really tried not to have too much of a crush on you, but it’s beyond him at this point. You have this way about you. You push him out of his comfort zone in the best ways.  He craves you. Your presence, your voice, your perfume. He’s also not very good at hiding his feelings, so he’s pretty sure Changbin has noticed. It doesn’t look like his friend minds it, but he didn’t ask.

BABYYYYY awwwww he just has it so bad for her, I wanna hug him forever and give him lots of head pets and tell him it's okay, YOU'RE GONNA GET THE GIRL LIX YOU WILL!!

Something snaps inside Felix’s chest. Fuck it, he thinks. It’s better you know. At least it won’t just linger inside of him. It will be out in the world. You can reject him. It will hurt, but it will be ok. He never expected he could ever have you, anyway. 

Ugh, the way you string words together, girl. It's so pretty, so heartbreaking, so intense. And how unsure he is the first time, but how dominant he feels during the final smut scene. This is just a thoroughly good read, such a solid story!!

P.S CHANGBIN'S GOOFY ASS LEAVING SO THEY CAN FUCK. KILLED. ME. I WHEEZED FOR THREE MINUTES STRAIGHT.

I love you! Thank you always for writing and sharing your incredible talent with us <3333

caramel popcorn

caramel popcorn — one shot [ general masterlist ]

this one shot (and this blog) are 18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• felix x female reader; changbin x female reader (not the focus).

• non idol au. friends with benefits. roommates (changbin and felix). pining. drinking. there's a party. explicit language. mention of slumps/depression. explicit sexual content. not beta read.

•  smut warnings (spoilers ahead) — slightly perv felix (he a simp). voyeurism. voice kink. masturbation (alone and together). mentions of a possible threesome. oral sex (f receiving). fingering. protected sex, cumplay if you squint.

• word count: 11.5k

You are Changbin's fuck buddy. You two are just friends, but you are still something. Felix shouldn't have a crush on you. He still does.

Felix comes home earlier than usual. 

Work is slow today, and he’s feeling out of it, so he just decides to close his computer and walk home. It’s not like he will be missed, and he can catch up on his hours during the rest of the week. For now, he can’t focus, feeling a little blue, unable to find the motivation to keep going. It’s not that he’s losing interest in what he does – it’s not specific to his job. He’s just been feeling disconnected with reality, like he’s too used to the things around him. Everything feels… automatic. Mechanical. 

He needs change. He needs something to snap him out of the redundancy, a hook to get caught upon, a thought to keep him up at night. 

You come into his life at the right time. 

He pushes the code on the handle to unlock the door, his tie already pulled loose around his collar, his hair ruffled by the wind of the subway. His briefcase hangs on his hand, feeling heavier than usual, and he opens the door with a slight shove, letting it close behind him. He takes off his shoes, throws his briefcase on the couch and starts to shrug off his jacket when he hears a noise coming from inside the apartment. 

Changbin isn’t usually home at this time of the day, either. Or is it one of his days off? Felix isn’t sure. Days have been merging into each other, each of them feeling exactly like the one before. His roommate and best friend has been trying to snap him out of it, dragging him to parties or other activities, attempting to reactivate his creativity, the spark in his eyes. Felix appreciates his effort – Changbin is a good friend, always has been. It’s not his fault Felix can’t make it out of the fog. It really isn’t. In fact, if Changbin wasn’t there, Felix is sure it would be much worse. He would truly come apart if it wasn’t for those movie and pizza nights, for Changbin singing in the shower, for their video game tournaments, for their trips to the gym twice a week. 

Felix slowly finishes taking off his jacket, listening intently. For a few seconds he doesn’t hear anything and wonders if he imagined it, but then there’s the definitive sound of a voice coming from the hallway. It sounds like Changbin, although it’s a little muffled. Felix moves quietly, takes a few steps inside the living room and towards the hallway, and is about to call his roommate’s name when he hears another voice. 

This one is definitely not Changbin, and is irrevocably a moan of pleasure. Felix stops in his tracks, feeling the blush rise to his cheeks. The voice moans again, Changbin’s name this time, and Felix does not know what to do. Changbin is clearly… busy. Should he leave? Should he make enough noise so that whoever is in there with Changbin hears him? 

Who is the girl in Changbin’s room?

Who are you?  

As always, Felix’s curiosity gets the best of him. 

He tiptoes around the corner of the hallway and takes a peek. The door to Changbin’s room is ajar. Where he’s standing, Felix can only see a little of it, a part of the bed, on which two naked bodies are moving together. He recognizes Changbin’s dark hair and muscular arm, which is pinning down someone’s hand on the mattress.

Felix doesn’t see you well. Hints of your hair, of your profile, of the shape of your neck and collarbone. Changbin hides you, which is a good thing – he wouldn’t dare look if he wasn’t. However, he can hear you clearly, breathing heavily, whimpering against Changbin’s mouth, moaning in his neck. He can hear the sound of Changbin’s thrusts into you, the skin smacking, the bed squeaking. 

Changbin is fucking you hard.

Felix definitely isn’t supposed to be seeing this. You haven’t heard him come in, because you are completely unbothered, fucking like there’s no one around to hear or see you. Felix’s cheeks are bright red, mouth parted in slight fascination, unable to look away although he really should. 

Of course he is aware that Changbin has a sex life, an active one at that. They are both open about it, never crass but always honest. So it’s not a surprise that Changbin is with someone, it’s just rare that he brings his guest to their shared apartment, and it’s certainly the first time Felix is walking in on him. He should definitely leave, come back in an hour or two, when Changbin’s hopefully done and there is no chance of being caught like a pervert. 

But there’s something so fascinating about you, and Felix can’t bring himself to move. It’s in the way you breathe, panting, slightly trembling. It’s in your voice, in your whispers and your pleas. Changbin growls in your ear, muttering things that Felix can’t quite catch, but it seems to be working because you dig your fingers in his arm and his hair. Felix can hear your words getting tangled. 

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Changbin says.

That Felix hears perfectly well, and the way you nod feverishly sends a rush of blood to his cock. His hand grabs his crotch and he realizes he’s hard. His fingers press his length, already uncomfortable in his pants, and Felix closes his eyes, shaking his head. What’s his problem? Getting a boner from watching his best friend fuck someone? True, he hasn’t gotten laid in a while now, but it’s no excuse. This is wrong. Isn’t it?

He turns away, pushes his back against the wall, closes his eyes.

“Fuck, Changbin, I’m – please –”

Your voice sounds so beautiful, so pleading, so raw. It rattles a little, lost between your unsteady breaths, and Felix can hear Changbin accelerate his thrusts. The bed slams against the wall as he pounds into you, and your words turn into whimpers. 

You keep repeating his name, ask him not to stop, and Felix is stroking his cock almost instinctively above his pants. He can’t stop listening, hypnotized. He just wants to take out his cock and jerk it off so he can come at the same time as you. At this point he’s not even being careful at being caught. He wants to hear you. 

Fuck, he should move.

Fuck, he should stop. 

Fuck, he can’t. 

Felix closes his eyes and lets your voice fill his ears. You inhale sharply, you breathe out a moan, you hiss words he can’t comprehend. As you come, Felix squeezes his cock, feeling it twitch under his hand, but he delights too much in the sound to think about his own pleasure. How do you sound so good? So lovely, so vulnerable, so strong? He could drown in the melody. 

The apartment falls quiet for a second. Felix breathes out discreetly as he hears whispers coming from the room, and then muffled chuckles. You say something to Changbin - his name, and something else. There’s the swishing sounds of sheets. Are you changing positions? Are you straddling Changbin, taking his cock deep inside of you again, or are you maybe taking him in your mouth? 

Felix blinks. What the fuck is he doing? He stares down at his crotch, and the fingers he has sprawled around his length. This isn’t right. He quickly removes his hand, shakes his head. He needs to go before you or Changbin find him listening in. 

Oh, but how lovely you sound. 

“Am I doing good, Binnie?” 

“You’re doing so good. You take my cock so well.”

“Fuck, that’s so deep…” 

Felix turns away and quietly walks back towards the door. He needs some air. He grabs his jacket, slips it back on, and heads outside.

The bitter spring air helps. Felix takes a long walk, hands buried in his pockets, his earphones blasting music. It’s loud enough to mute his thoughts and the memory of your voice. He’s sure he hasn’t met you before. He would remember that voice. Who are you, then? A coworker? The friend of a friend? Someone Changbin met on a dating app? He desperately wants to know. He might never will, and it will drive him crazy. He’ll just ask Changbin. He’ll find a way to get your name, at least. 

Felix stops by the grocery store on his way back home, buys a few things, and then heads back to the apartment building. By now you and Changbin must be done. You might have already left, even. He stops in front of the door, slides a hand through his blonde hair, reminds himself he needs to get a haircut, and enters the apartment. 

He freezes in the doorway, holding the door half open, and stares at you. 

You’re sitting on the couch, bundled up in one of Changbin’s hoodies, watching something on the television. Your hair is messy, your eyes bright, your legs covered by a blanket. You look up at him, a little surprised, but you quickly smile, a smile that takes up half of your face, that illuminates your traits, that almost blinds him.

Felix feels his legs tremble. You’re so beautiful. 

“Hi!” you say. “You must be Felix.” 

“Y-yeah…” he stammers, closing the door behind him. 

That’s when Changbin appears, coming in from the kitchen, carrying two beers. He’s wearing a t-shirt and gym shorts, his curls a tangled mess. 

“Hey, Lix. Home already?” 

Felix takes off his shoes and clears his throat. “Yeah, finished early.” 

“Good for you,” Changbin smiles, handing you one of the beers. He extends the other one towards Felix, who takes it. “Want to join us? We were going to play something. This is Y/N, by the way. We work together.” 

“Oh, right,” Felix nods as Changbin goes back to the kitchen, probably to get himself another beer. 

So he has heard about you. The new girl at Changbin’s workplace who he had his eye on. The situation was a bit tricky because Changbin is a manager and you are an employee, but Felix guesses you found a way to make it work, or you decided not to care. Felix remembers Changbin talking about you, the words he used. Sweet. Determined. Captivating. 

Watching you now, he understands what Changbin meant. 

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” you say. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Same, actually,” Felix says, taking a sip from the beer. 

“Really? What did Changbin say about me?” 

Felix blushes a little, stuttering. “Oh. You know. That you were cute, that he liked you.” 

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. “That’s sweet.” 

Felix smiles, feeling a little awkward. He can’t help but think about what he heard. Your voice breaking in pieces through your pleasure. Changbin’s hips slamming into yours. 

The way you’re looking at him now doesn’t help. There’s something in your eyes, like you want to say something, but you don’t. You have such a direct gaze, such a dazzling smile. You sounded so lovely moaning Changbin’s name, begging him to fuck you deeper. Felix clears his throat. 

“I’m gonna go change,” he says. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Okay.” 

He gives you one last nod and heads to the kitchen. Changbin is still there, checking something on his phone. He looks up at Felix. 

“You all right?” Changbin frowns. “You look a little pale.” 

“Just tired,” Felix explains, putting away the food he bought in the fridge. 

“Good you came home, then. Are you ok with Y/N being here? I can tell her to go if you want some quiet.” 

Felix shakes his head. “I don’t mind. She’s nice.” 

Changbin grins, twirling the can of beer in his hand. “She’s something else, Lix. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“I’m happy for you, mate.” 

They exchange a quick hug, and as Changbin goes back to the living room, his booming voice echoing through the apartment, Felix heads to his room. He closes the door behind him and lets out a long sigh. 

This can’t be complicated. You and Changbin are clearly a thing, so Felix cannot see you in that way. He slams his hand on his forehead, cursing himself. He shouldn’t have stayed to listen to you. He should’ve turned around the second he understood what the sounds you were making were. Now he can’t get your voice out of his head. And it doesn’t help that you are in his living room right now, looking this damn attractive. 

Felix takes off his clothes, slips on a t-shirt and grabs a pair of sweatpants. He hears you laugh from the living room. It sounds like you’re arguing about something, crying out Changbin’s name. It sounds nothing like earlier, but it still reminds him of it. 

His cock twitches, and Felix curses himself. Maybe if he relieves himself, it will help. It will take you off his mind and he can enjoy his night. He can take a few minutes to do that, no one will suspect it. Then he can take a shower and move on. Deciding it is his best option, Felix lays down on his bed, propped up on his pillows, and takes out his cock from his boxers. It is already getting hard again from the thought of you, and he tugs at it slowly, closing his eyes. Maybe he can even try not to think about you - but as his cock hardens, as his fingers slide around his girth, you’re all that is on his mind. 

What if it was his name you moaned? His cock that took you deep, that you begged to feel more of? Your voice in his ear, your moans in his neck? Felix swallows with difficulty, his tip leaking with pre-cum, already losing himself in his fantasy. Those eyes of yours as he would pound into you, hammering your warm, drenched cunt with all his might just so he can hear you louder and louder. Your moans becoming whimpers, your breath hitching in your throat, those lovely notes escaping your lips just for him. 

Just for him. 

He doesn’t even know you. But the thought of you crying out his name is enough to push him over the edge. Felix bucks his hips into the air, imagining it is you, bites his lip hard enough to draw blood so he doesn’t make a sound. Your voice echoes in the apartment as you laugh and complain to Changbin, and it is such a delightful sound Felix can’t help but come. His cock throbs in his hand, spurting whiteness, covering his stomach. 

He holds himself for minutes like that, trying to steady his breathing. Fuck. He hasn’t come this hard masturbating in a long time. And you did that to him. 

After a while, Felix stands up on shaky legs and heads towards the shower. He quickly washes, relieved at the feeling of the hot water on his body. Once he’s dressed again, ready to join you and Changbin in the living room, his mind actually feels clear. He was probably just horny. He hasn’t gotten laid in months and it shows. He ought to follow Changbin’s advice and find someone, even just for one night. 

“Welcome back,” Changbin tells him when he enters the room. 

Felix confidently sits next to you on the couch, grabbing the third controller to join the next game. The beer is good, the company is fun. He laughs, feels relaxed. You’re funny, not at all a sore loser, with a bright personality and a quick mind. 

Your hair smells good. 

You’re very tactile. 

Felix feels fine, even when you touch his arm, even when your thigh brushes his. It seems like he really just needed to jerk off. 

After playing for a while, you all start talking, exchanging anecdotes and having debates over silly things. He likes you and the way you think. You bond about your love for freshly washed sheets and caramel popcorn. 

When Felix feels his stomach rumble, he stretches on the couch.  “Are you guys hungry? I can make curry -” 

“Oh shit,” you say suddenly, eyes widening. “What time is it?” 

You reach out for your phone and let out a gasp.

“Shit, fuck! I’m so late. I’m supposed to get dinner with my brother…” 

You let out a laugh and glance at Felix. 

“Rain check?” 

Your eyes are the prettiest he has ever seen. Wide, full of light. Felix feels his heart stutter, nods nervously. You stand up in a hurry, and he realizes that all this time, you haven’t been wearing pants. The hoodie is big enough to fall to the middle of your thighs, but it still reveals your legs to him. Smooth skin. Thighs one could dig their fingers into. Felix feels his mouth water a little. 

Changbin is laughing. 

“She’s a mess,” he says affectionately, shaking his head. “I’d love some curry, though.” 

Felix blinks at his friend. “Right. On it.” 

You reappear a few seconds later, now wearing a pair of jeans, slipping a sweater over your head and putting on your shoes. 

“I’ll see you guys around! Thanks for the beer!” 

“Check the two sides of the road before you cross,” Changbin warns with a smirk. 

You pull your tongue at him and disappear through the door. The apartment falls silent. Felix glances at Changbin, who is shaking his head. 

“Didn’t I tell you, Lix? Something else.” 

Despite everything, Felix can’t help but smile. There’s nothing he loves more than seeing his friend happy, whatever his mood, whatever is in his heart. Changbin’s smile is always enough to soothe him, to push away any cloud, to clear his skies. 

The roommates stand up from the couch, gather the empty beers and head to the kitchen. Their apartment is not very big, because neither of them could afford a big place in this city, but it’s more than enough for them. They have been living together for years, and have known each other for much longer, so they know exactly how to make it work. The boundaries. The signs. Everything. 

Felix gets started on the food and Changbin puts on some music. 

“How did it happen, then?” he asks Changbin, who has started cutting carrots. “Spill it.” 

Changbin smirks, keeping his eyes on the carrots. “So. Last night, right? Both of us finished late. The last people in the office. We’re complaining about being tired, about not having time to do anything, to meet anyone.” 

Felix stirs the chicken broth in the pot, nodding his head.

“Completely out of the blue,” Changbin continues, “she tells me she hasn’t gotten laid in weeks. So I tell myself, this is too good of an opportunity, and I say to her I can help. As a friend would, you know. And just like that we’re fucking in the office.” 

Changbin chuckles, and Felix stares at him in awe, trying not to let the images swarm his mind. A part of him wants to ask for details. Where in the office? A desk, a wall? What were you wearing? He chases the thoughts away. 

“So are you, like… officially going out?” 

“Not really,” Changbin frowns. “Just friends. With benefits.” 

“Oh,” Felix says. 

“Neither of us want anything more. Nothing complicated. Like, she just texted me earlier today asking if I wanted to hang out.” 

Felix takes a sip of his beer and chuckles. “So you’re her booty call?” 

Changbin raises his palms. “And happy to be.” 

That simple, huh? Felix isn’t sure how he feels. He envies Changbin, but it’s not jealousy. He’s happy for his friend, that he could find someone he connects with, someone he can have fun with. Could he find that for himself? He doesn’t know. He’s never tried.

“I’m proud of you, Lix,” Changbin says suddenly.

Felix turns to him, a little surprised. 

Changbin shrugs, smiles affectionately. “The fact that you went home earlier because you didn’t feel too good. That’s progress. Not long ago you would’ve pushed through and buried it deep. It’s good.” 

Felix nods slowly. “Thanks, Bin.” 

Changbin circles the counter to put the cut carrots next to the pot, and squeezes Felix’s shoulder. 

“We’ll get through it. I’m here for you.” 

“I know, Bin. I know.”

Felix slams his finger on his phone, repeatedly pressing the screen for his alarm to stop. When his room falls silent again, Felix leans back into his bed, groaning against his pillow. It is cold today, so he draws his comforter all the way up to his eyes, trying to keep them open. He was having a good dream. He can’t remember it, but it was good. 

You were in it.

He rolls out of bed after a few minutes and takes a quick shower to finish waking up. He puts on a shirt, a pair of black pants, and a tie. Sometimes he wishes he could go into work in casual clothes, like Changbin, but the firm’s dress code keeps him from having to think too much about his outfits. He brushes his hair although it will be tangled again the second he steps outside, and slips on his rings. 

Dragging his feet to the kitchen, Felix is surprised to find you there. You’re not dressed, wearing an oversized t-shirt and pajama pants, neither of which are yours - and your hair sticks up behind your head. It shouldn’t be cute, but it is. 

“Morning,” you smile, sipping a glass of orange juice. 

“Already up?” Felix says, grabbing a banana from the fruit basket. 

He’s not used to seeing you in the morning like this although it is not the first time you spend the night. It only happens occasionally - sometimes you come over to the apartment, sometimes Changbin goes to yours. From what Felix gathers, the both of you don’t see each other that often, but still regularly enough that he has gotten used to your presence in the apartment. 

Your relationship with Changbin hasn’t changed. You are friends who, sometimes, have sex together. There are times you see each other without sleeping together, although it’s not the majority. Felix has luckily not walked in on you again, but he has given you space once or twice before, going to the movies or having a meal at a restaurant with coworkers while you were having fun. 

Felix feels himself getting out of his slump. He goes to parties, smiles less mechanically, opens himself more. Maybe he’s inspired by the way you are so unabashedly yourself, the way you laugh with your whole chest. He is fond of the conversations you two have sometimes, whether it be small talk or something deeper. 

When you are there, Felix can never stop looking at you. Whether you are snuggling up against Changbin on the couch watching a movie or telling a story as you prepare yourself some coffee, Felix can’t get enough of you. You’re fascinating to him, the way you move, the way you talk, the way you are. 

He’s given up long ago on ever being able to touch you, but at least he can watch you. He can see Changbin’s fingers grazing your skin, he can catch the lustful glances you sometimes give each other. He thinks about you when he jerks off, but he does it without hope. You’ve just become a fantasy. 

He can only think about you, about this arrangement between you and Changbin. There’s no confusion in his mind. He wants it too - but not with anyone else. He wants to fuck you. He wants you to text him so you can hang out. It can’t happen. He wants it too. 

He can’t have you. 

He has to make his peace with it. 

“I have to go into work early today,” you explain. 

Felix nods, grabbing the lunch he has prepared the previous night to put it in his bag. 

“Aren’t you eating something?” you ask him. 

“I always eat on the subway,” he says. “Old habit of mine. And then I grab coffee at work. It’s free there, so…”

“Oh, that’s nice,” you smile. “Maybe I should pester Changbin so he buys a machine for us. Sleeping with the boss should have its advantages, right?” 

Felix grins at the playful tone in your voice. “Are you coming to the party next Friday?” 

It’s something Felix and Changbin have decided to organize a few nights ago, inviting a few friends to hang out and drink a little too much. 

“I’ll be there,” you nod. 

“Great.” 

Felix closes his bag, ready to leave, although he’d like to stay with you. He always enjoys those moments of talking with you, however briefly. He really likes you. He’s definitely attracted to you. But he knows you’re not looking for anything. Besides, you already have Changbin, and for Felix, that simply means hands off, even if you guys are just friends. 

“I’ll head out. Have a good one,” he tells you, taking a second to look at you in the morning sunshine, your eyes on him, your lips looking plump and soft. 

“Wait,” you say in a breath, standing up from the stool to approach him.

Felix’s breath catches in his throat as you stop inches away from him, extending your hand towards him. You look breathtaking from up close, and Felix has to try and steady his heart. You smile, replacing the tie around his neck, making sure it is straight. Your hand lingers a little there, on his chest, and he swears he sees your eyes stop on his lips. 

“Better. Have a good day, Lix.” 

You kiss him on the cheek and he has to quickly walk away before you see him blush and smile like an idiot.

The music is loud, the conversations even more. It’s not so late yet, but people are already getting drunk and high, filling all the empty space of the apartment. There aren’t that many guests, but enough that Felix has lost you in the crowd for a while now. 

He hangs in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, drinking his third glass of Jeongin’s deadly punch. I just mixed a lot of things together, Jeongin said when Felix asked what exactly he put in there. I didn’t really know what I was doing. It’s excellent, although it’s much too sweet and will probably mess with a lot of stomachs. But it’s perfect for Felix’s sweet tooth, so he indulges a little. 

A girl called Ye-jun is standing next to him, telling him about her work, and while Felix finds that she talks a little too much, she’s still good company. She’s cute, wears a very low cut shirt and keeps batting her eyes at him. She’s into him, that much Felix can gather, and he’s been wondering for the past fifteen minutes if he should do something about it. It would be the ideal moment - a party, a busy apartment, a bit of alcohol. He could bring her into his room and finally get laid, if she is into it. Maybe it could take you off his mind. 

Because Felix has been trying to catch a glimpse of you for the better part of an hour. You’re at the party, he knows, because he saw you play beer-pong with Jisung just before he lost track of you. He hopes you’re having a good night. He wishes he could take a better look at the outfit you’re wearing, at the way you braided your hair. He put on his leather jacket that he knows you like but that he rarely wears. Did you notice? 

Felix really tried not to have too much of a crush on you, but it’s beyond him at this point. You have this way about you. You push him out of his comfort zone in the best ways.  He craves you. Your presence, your voice, your perfume. He’s also not very good at hiding his feelings, so he’s pretty sure Changbin has noticed. It doesn’t look like his friend minds it, but he didn’t ask. Changbin knows to let Felix come to him, but he also isn’t afraid of starting a conversation if Felix resists for too long. So Felix knows he will have to move his ass at some point. 

Ye-jun giggles as she starts talking about a friend of hers who is having a destination wedding, and Felix suggests they go into the living room, anxious to spot you. She follows him there and they find a spot near the couch, when he finds you sitting with Changbin. Your legs are thrown on his, Changbin’s arm pulling you close to him. You are making out, unashamedly. 

Felix loses track of what Ye-jun is telling him. He stares at your hand, resting on Changbin’s cheek, at your mouth, dancing with his friend’s. Changbin’s hand cups your ass, and you laugh against his lips, slapping his chest playfully. Changbin whispers something in your ear, and then kisses you again. 

Felix wonders how your lips feel. If your skin is warm. It weirdly doesn’t feel like intruding now, watching you with Changbin. Is it because he trusts his friend so completely, and now knows who you are? Both of you are his friends. You like each other, you have fun. Felix likes it for both of you. He doesn’t wish he were Changbin. He just wants to get a taste of you, too. The thought crosses his mind. Would Changbin agree? 

Hey, Bin. I think I really like Y/N. Would you mind sharing, just for one night?

That’s ridiculous. Changbin would never take him seriously. Would he? Felix shakes his head, bringing himself back to reality, to the party, to Ye-jun. He tears his eyes from you and Changbin, focuses on her. She has a cute nose. Long lashes. She wears lip-gloss. Does it taste like cherry, or maybe strawberries? He decides to find out. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asks Ye-jun, who stops talking, looking shocked. 

Quickly, however, she smiles and nods. 

Felix leans in and kisses her, sliding an arm around her waist to pull her close. Strawberries, definitely, he realizes. He imagines it is you, although it is all wrong, although her lips are not yours, although her scent is not yours. He needs to get over his crush, and not make a fool out of himself. Find your own girl, he tells himself. 

Ye-jun is a good kisser, fortunately, and Felix lets his thoughts wander away. A part of him isn’t sure to bring her to his room if she allows it. There’s not much chemistry there - but does there need to be? Changbin would tell him to just have fun. He’ll try. For now, kissing his good. It keeps his body busy, and he can keep thinking about you.

The next day, Felix wakes up in an empty bed, but there’s still the smell of Ye-jun’s perfume in the air although she didn’t stay the night. He had a nice time with her, and he’s pretty sure that she did too. 

She’s just not you.

Felix hates himself for thinking that. Who knows, maybe you wouldn’t even be compatible in bed. Perhaps he’s not at all your type. Changbin is just your friend, but you are attracted to him and they look nothing alike. He just wishes he could hear you laugh and moan his name.

It’s already past noon, and Felix is hungry. He meets Changbin in the living room. His roommate has only been up for less than an hour, and the two of them prepare some instant ramen. They eat silently, hungover from the previous night. Eating helps, settles Felix’s stomach and washes away the worst of his headache. 

“Did you have a good time?” Changbin asks after a while, wearing a t-shirt that Felix got him for his previous birthday. “With Ye-jun?” 

Felix nods. “It was fine.” 

“Just fine?” Changbin repeats, arching an eyebrow. 

“I mean - no, it was… It was all right.” 

“I guess fine and all right is better than nothing.” 

Felix shakes his head. “She was really sweet. I guess I just… It wasn’t…” 

“Fun?” 

Felix’s shoulders drop. “Yeah.” 

Changbin nods thoughtfully, and Felix wonders if this would be the right time to talk about you. He doesn’t like not being open with his friend - they usually tell each other everything. Changbin tells him about you sometimes, how you have been feeling, what happened at work, even a few details about your sex life with him. A new position you tried, something he said to you thinking it would be attractive but ended up just being funny, and Felix is happy to listen. Not just because it’s you, but because he cares about both of you. 

“That’s why it’s nice to have sex with friends,” Changbin says. “Maybe you could try.” 

Felix sighs. “I don’t have that many friends, Bin. And even less I’d want to have sex with. I have you, I have…”

He stops himself and blushes. Changbin stares, visibly waiting. 

“I mean,” Felix mutters, “you get the point.” 

“Lix,” Changbin says in a soft voice. 

“Hm?” 

“You like Y/N, don’t you?” 

Felix keeps his eyes on his empty bowl of ramen, trying not to blush too hard, and wondering what the best thing to say is. Should he pretend he doesn’t? Should he be honest? He doesn’t want to fight with Changbin. He really doesn’t.

“Why would you say that?” he asks in a small voice.

Changbin shrugs. “Just a feeling. You guys get along great. And when she’s around, I don’t know… you look really relaxed.” 

Felix feels his chest tighten a little. This shouldn’t be that complicated.

“I mean… She’s really nice. Fun to be with. And she’s pretty, yeah. I like her, but…” The words escape his lips, not really a lie, not really the truth. “I’m not in love with her or anything.” 

Changbin gives him a small smile. “That’s not what I’m asking. Just, if you like her, tell me, yeah? She’s really just a friend to me. We don’t see each other any other way, so don’t hold back for my sake, please.”

A small silence follows, as Felix doesn’t know what to say. Changbin ruffles his hair.

“Just food for thought.”

A few days later, when Felix is home and Changbin is at work, he gets a text from you. 

Hey Lix! Are you busy rn? 

He takes a deep breath. 

No, what’s up? 

You explain that you’ve been kindly kicked out of your apartment by your roommate so she can enjoy some quality time with someone. You don’t really have anywhere to go, so you ask Felix if you can come and hang out at his place. Felix agrees - it’s not like he could really say no to you. 

You arrive half an hour later, dressed casually, holding two plastic bags worth of snacks. Felix chuckles when he sees you. 

“It’s just a way to say thanks,” you say, handing him the bags and removing your shoes. “You’re really helping me out here. I didn’t feel like walking around outside for hours, it’s getting cold.” 

“Of course,” Felix says. “I wasn’t doing anything, anyway. Just watching that stupid reality show.” 

You gasp excitedly. “Oh, is it the new episode? I haven’t seen it yet.” 

Felix rubs the back of his neck. “You want to watch it together? I don’t mind putting it back to the beginning.”

“Oh, really? Thanks, that sounds great!” 

Both of you sit down in front of the television with the snacks and you watch the episode. You sit apart on the couch, but the atmosphere feels laid-back. You exchange theories, snicker about the contestants, and Felix smiles so much his cheeks hurt a little. 

After two more episodes both of you are a little tipsy and sitting down on the floor, unable to focus on the screen. You sit next to him, so close that your shoulders are touching. Felix is trying not to think about how good you smell, how cute your voice sounds when a little roughened with the alcohol, how he’s come hard just an hour before to the thought of you sitting on his cock. 

You smile at him, turning to face him, your knees against your chest.

“Felix, don’t you have someone?” 

“No, I don’t,” he says with a frown.

“How about the girl from the party?” you ask. 

He chuckles, shaking his head. 

“That was just a hookup.” 

You nod, biting your lip. “But you’re so handsome. So funny. And kind. And you have those cute freckles. It doesn’t make sense to me that you don’t have someone.” 

Felix feels a little hot, and rubs his hand on the back of his neck. He doesn’t understand where all of this comes from - it might be the booze, but neither of you have been drinking a lot. You do not look drunk at all. You’ve never talked about relationships like this.

“I think… I’m just not in the mood for a relationship right now,” he answers eventually, taking the time to choose his words.

“I get that,” you nod. “You could find something casual. Like me and Bin.” 

“I… I guess I could.” 

“Fuck buddies are the best. It’s not complicated. You hang out, you have a good time, and you get laid.” 

“Hm,” he answers, feeling a little dizzy.

You look at him for a long time before you continue. “We could do it, if you want. I don’t think Changbin would mind.” 

“Hm.” He stops. “Wait, what?” 

He turns to stare at you, eyes wide. Did you really just say that? Or did he imagine it? What the fuck was in those beers? 

You giggle, hiding your face in your hands. “Sorry. I couldn’t help it. I just… I think you’re really cute.” 

Felix blushes fiercely, unable to look at you. “I… Where is this coming from?” He can’t help but ask. You smile softly, looking at him without a hint of shyness. He tries to find something in your eyes that would explain it, if you are playing a trick on him. 

“It’s just…” you play with your fingers nervously. “Changbin told me you thought I was pretty.” 

Felix feels a shiver go down his body. 

“I mean, that’s all he said,” you quickly add. “I really don’t know what you guys say about me, and that’s not my business, I respect that. And if it’s not true, then -” 

“It is,” Felix says. His voice is not as assured as he would like it to be, but he still says it, finding strength in your eyes, in your voice. “I think you’re really pretty.” 

You look up at him, smiling, your cheeks a little red. Felix can’t look away, and it seems like neither can you. Slowly, you lean forward, and put a hand against his cheek. Your skin is warm, like he imagined it would be.

“I lied,” you admit, biting your lip. 

“W-what?” Felix stutters. 

“I said I thought Changbin wouldn’t mind,” you explain. “But actually…”

Felix’s heart beats so fast in his chest he feels like it will burst out. He wants to lean against your hand. He doesn’t know what is happening. 

“I know he wouldn’t,” you continue, blushing more at every word you say, removing your hand. Felix wants to grab it and put it back. “Because I asked him. When he told me that you thought I was pretty, I said that I had a little crush on you. So Changbin asked me if I ever thought about having sex with you.” 

Felix can’t breathe.

Felix can’t think.

Your eyes are on him, your voice so close to him, your skin on his. 

“What did you answer?” he breathes. 

You smile. “I said yes.” 

Felix swallows. He can’t believe his ears. This can’t really be happening. Surely he is dreaming, surely he will wake up in an empty bed again. He expects it will happen any second. But time doesn’t stop, and he doesn’t wake up. You stay there, close to him. You bite your lip mischievously, resting your hands on your lap.  

"You heard us, didn't you? That day." 

"What?" Felix frowns.

"The day we met,” you explain. “When I went back to the living room after having sex with Changbin… I saw your briefcase on the couch. It hadn't been there an hour before." 

Fuck, Felix thinks. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

The briefcase. He had forgotten the briefcase. 

He opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. "I - I’m sorry -" 

"Don’t be sorry,” you say with a smile. “I don't mind.” 

Felix feels dizzy. Is he going to be sick? Should he run away? Why wouldn’t you mind? He was gross, he was wrong, he was -

“Did you like what you heard?"

His head shoots up, his eyes going straight into yours. You look composed although he can see your fingers tapping your thigh. Maybe you’re a little nervous, too. Your face doesn’t show it - just your pink cheeks, your long lashes, your lips still wet from your last sip of beer. Felix realizes there is no use in lying. In denying, either. He wants you to know the truth.

How crazy you make him. How he can’t stop thinking of you. 

He nods. “Y-yes.” 

Your eyes light up, and his heart tightens at the vision of your lips curving into a smile. Is this making you happy? 

“Tell me more,” you whisper.

Something snaps inside Felix’s chest. Fuck it, he thinks. It’s better you know. At least it won’t just linger inside of him. It will be out in the world. You can reject him. It will hurt, but it will be ok. He never expected he could ever have you, anyway. 

“I - I think about you all the time.” 

You bite your lip and it’s the most erotic thing Felix has ever seen. He feels his cock harden in his pants, and he pushes on it with the pillow on his lap. 

“Do you get hard thinking about it?” you ask.

“Yes,” he admits without an ounce of hesitation. 

“Do you fuck yourself thinking about fucking me?” 

Such lewd words coming out of your mouth, Felix wants to close his eyes and let each of them sink in. If you end up walking away, or even laughing about it, he’ll have their memory. Your voice dripping sweetness in his ear, warming him up, reminding him it’s all worth it. Reminding him his heart is anything but empty. 

“Yes,” he nods.

You close your eyes and he thinks, this is it. You’re going to stand up and leave. He has gone too far. But you will know. His craving. His longing. But the words that come out of your mouth are completely different.

“Felix, I’m so fucking wet right now.” 

A moan almost escapes Felix’s lips. Did he hear that correctly? Are you really sitting so close to him, telling him you’re wet, because of him? With those reddened cheeks of yours, your breath that slightly hitches between your lips. 

“What -” he stammers. “You - it’s - really?”

You nod, a soft hum escaping your lips, and Felix presses the pillow harder. His cock is so hard by now it hurts a little, but he doesn’t care. He’ll endure any kind of pain for you. 

“But we can’t - I don’t -” 

“I told you,” you say, looking at him with wide eyes. They’re a little humid, your voice almost a whisper. “Changbin doesn’t mind. In fact I’m pretty sure he’d love to join us.” 

“He - he would?” Felix asks. 

“Hm, hm. But I don’t want to pressure you.” 

Felix stops to think for a second. Here you are, all his fantasies come true, ready and willing to have sex with him. It doesn’t feel real, but it is. Felix wants it with all his heart, all his body - but a part of him is blocked. He can’t. 

“You really want to?” he says, his shoulders falling backwards. 

“Yes. Felix, I want you to fuck me.” 

Oh. His cock twitches and he feels terribly dizzy. He breathes out, trying to gather his thoughts, but they’re a complete mess, although something stays crystal clear. 

“I think… I think I need to talk to Changbin about it first.” 

You smile kindly. “That’s okay.” 

“It is?” he asks, arching an eyebrow. 

“Of course,” you nod. “You have a really precious friendship. I respect that you want to honor it.” 

Felix sighs, shaking his head, unable to take his eyes off you. Where the hell did you come from? It doesn’t really matter. You still made your way to him.

 “I like you a lot,” he says with a chuckle.

Your laugh echoes his. “Me too. I’ll wait, Felix, I don’t mind.” 

“Well…”

You look at him curiously. Felix isn’t sure it’s a good idea to suggest this to you, but he’s already hard and you are here. It’s like something has unlocked inside of him, and he doesn’t feel like there’s much to lose. 

“I mean, maybe we can… Not touch each other, but still have fun?” 

Your face lights up again and you smile playfully. “What do you have in mind?” 

Slowly, Felix removes the cushion he was holding, revealing his boner. You look down at the bulge, and he puts a hand around it. He hears you swallow, your eyes dark with lust, looking even more pretty.

“Fuck, I’ve been wondering what your cock looks like…” you whisper.

This is a dream. A fever dream. 

“You want to see it?” Felix suggests in a low voice. 

You nod almost timidly. “Yes, please.” 

He takes out his stiff cock from his jeans, his hands shaking. You bite your lip, sitting back down beside him, your eyes fixed on his length. Felix does not comprehend a single thing that is happening.  

“So big,” you say. “You would fill me whole, Lix… Would you fuck me hard?” 

“So hard,” he breathes. “I wouldn’t stop until you come around me.” 

“Fuck,” you chuckle, inhaling deeply as if to steady your breath. “I feel like I’m going insane just thinking about it.” 

“Me too,” Felix admits. 

You turn towards him a little, and he can see that your eyes keep moving from his face to his cock, and everytime he feels it throb. He is trying to resist stroking it, because you are here, looking at him, wanting him, and Felix can hardly believe it. 

“Touch yourself,” you whisper. 

“W-what?” 

“Touch yourself,” you repeat gently. “Show me how you do it.” 

He doesn’t need to be asked another time. It’s like his hand moves on its own. He wraps his fingers around his cock, starts to stroke it. You sigh softly, staring at it, mouth parted, cheeks red. Felix can’t believe what is happening to him. Are you really watching him jerk off right now? And clearly being turned on by it? 

“What do you think about, when you do that?” you ask, licking your lips, and they are so wet, so plump, Felix wants to kiss them, he wants to feel them on his skin, around his cock. 

Felix whimpers softly. “You. Your mouth. Y-your taste. But mostly…” 

“Yeah?” 

“Your voice. How you would sound. Your moans, your whispers.” 

You smile, your eyes falling into his for a few seconds. “You like my voice?” 

“It’s my favorite.” 

You giggle softly, looking up at him for a few seconds. He must look like a mess, with his eyes hazy with the alcohol and the lust. You don’t seem to mind. In fact, you can’t stop smiling. 

“You look so fucking hot right now, Lix.” 

He watches you as you unbutton your jeans, push them down a little, and slide a hand underneath your panties. His cock twitches in his hand, almost exploding on the spot. 

“W-what are you doing?” he asks in a slight panic.  

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it,” you mutter. “I just need - I just need some pressure…”  

You close your eyes, moving your fingers in your underwear. Felix imagines them pushing against your soaked folds, teasing your swollen clit, and his hand accelerates around his cock. He’s pretty sure he would die if he could touch you. Taste you. Swirl his tongue inside of you, make you call out his name in pleasure. 

“Fuck, yes, that feels so good…” you moan. 

“Look at me,” Felix breathes without thinking.

You do. Your eyes flutter open directly on him, as you rub yourself, as he jerks himself. It’s a sight he knows he will never forget. Your red cheeks, your messy hair, your lips raw from biting them. He can’t touch you, but he can watch you. 

He is close. So fucking close. 

“I’m gonna come,” you tell him in a whisper, and Felix can’t hold it any longer. 

His cock throbs in his hand, his cum escaping the tip and staining his t-shirt. You let out a loud moan as you watch, and Felix opens his eyes just in time to see your face contorted in pleasure just before your orgasm washes over you. Your body shakes, soft breaths escaping your lips, and he watches in awe.

It’s like witnessing art itself.  

You both stop, breathing heavily, not looking at each other. 

And then you do. 

You smile. Felix does, too. And then you start laughing. 

You lick your fingers clean and button up your jeans. “That was fun. But next time I don’t want to just watch. What do you think?” 

Felix grins.

“I couldn’t agree more."

“Changbin?” 

He looks up from his computer, hiding a yawn behind his hand. His hair is messy from sleep, curls sticking up, his black hoodie a familiar sight. “What’s up, Lix?”

“Can I talk to you?” 

Felix stares at his friend, his heart beating fast in his chest. He holds a mug of freshly made hot chocolate, and there must be something in his tone that indicates it’s not just a casual question, because Changbin nods almost solemnly. 

“Anytime. Sit down.” 

Changbin designates his bed, and Felix sits on it. It’s only half made, the pillows all over the place, the plushie Felix offered him forever ago sitting in a corner. 

“That’s for you,” Felix says, handing him the mug.

Changbin takes it with a thankful smile, arching an eyebrow at the gesture. He stays on his desk chair, turning it around so he faces him. His room is messy, as always, but always comforting. There’s music playing in the background, the smell of chocolate in the air. 

“So, hm…” Felix rubs his thighs nervously. “There’s, hm… It’s…” 

He had prepared what he was going to say, but now that he is here, he has forgotten everything. He pales a little, stammering, looking for his words. 

Changbin chuckles, turning the spoon inside the mug to keep mixing the milk. “Are you finally here to talk to me about Y/N?” 

Felix blushes. “Did she tell you what happened?” 

Changbin stops and frowns. “What? No.” 

“Oh,” Felix says faintly.

“What happened?” Changbin asks.

“Nothing!” 

Changbin smirks. “Did you guys fuck?” 

“What, no!” 

“It’d be fine, you know,” he shrugs. “She’s not my girlfriend or anything.” 

Felix raises his palms, taking a deep breath. “Slow down.” 

This is not how he imagined the conversation doing, although it is moving in the right direction. Felix chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Okay. Here goes. Me and Y/N… talked, and we told each other we are… well… interested in… more.” 

Changbin chuckles, taking a sip of the hot chocolate. “You mean fucking.” 

“Yes,” Felix blurts out. “I didn’t touch her, though. She told me you told her it would be fine, but I didn’t want to do anything without talking to you first. Directly.” 

“Lixie…” Changbin smiles fondly. “I appreciate it, I do. But it’s fine. I told you, she’s not my girlfriend, and she’s a really great person. I think you’d have fun together.” 

Felix’s shoulders drop. “You really don’t mind?” 

“No, why would I? We’re all friends, and she’s hot, and I totally get you. If this was the opposite situation, would you care if I was interested?” 

Felix stops for a second to think about it. Would he? If the roles were reversed, and you were his fuck buddy, would he be bothered by the idea of Changbin touching you as well? The answer suddenly seems obvious. No, he wouldn’t. Not Changbin. Just like he doesn’t mind that Changbin and you were a thing first - in fact, maybe it makes his whole thing even better. 

“No,” Felix answers. “Not at all.”

Changbin claps his hand. “There you have it. Although, I gotta tell you…” 

He hesitates, puts down his mug, and looks at Felix. 

“If it works out, you and her. Maybe one day I could join you? I can just watch. Or if it bothers you, we…” 

Felix grins. “It doesn’t bother me. That could be fun. I…” He blushes a little. “I’d love to watch the two of you, too.” 

Changbin’s laugh echoes through the room. “You like that too? I can’t believe we’ve been friends this long and didn’t know this about each other. We gotta talk about sex more, man.” 

Felix shakes his head with a smile, feeling much lighter. “Then there’s something I gotta tell you.” 

He tells Changbin about walking in on them and listening, and both friends burst out laughing. They keep talking until the late hours of the night, their voices breaking out, falling asleep in the living room, buried under blankets and pillows.

Changbin turns to you, smirking amusingly. 

“Well, here I go,” he states dramatically. “Going to see a movie. On my own.” 

Standing next to Felix, you wave at Changbin excitedly. “Have fun!” 

“Hope you enjoy it,” Felix adds with a nod.

Changbin shakes his head and gives you both a dark glare. “You kids be safe.” 

You snort. “Fuck off, Bin.” 

With a laugh, Changbin closes the door behind him, and Felix waits until he hears his footsteps going down the hallway before he turns to you. He feels a little nervous, because he knows exactly why you are here and why Changbin wanted to leave the both of you alone. It feels awkward. And yet it really doesn’t. 

You turn to him, looking gorgeous in your black lace top, your hair let down your shoulders, your eyes wide and shimmering in the dim light. Did you choose your clothes as carefully as him, stressing over every wild strand of hair on your head, applying what seemed like just the right amount of perfume? 

“Hi,” you say, and he can hear a hint of nervousness in your voice. 

“Hi,” he replies with a nervous laugh. “You, hm… You want a drink?” 

You nod, breathing out. “Yeah, good idea.” 

You both head towards the kitchen, not even bothering to open a light. The day is slowly fading, filling the room in a dark orange hue, so you see each other well without the crudeness of the neons. 

Felix opens a cupboard and takes out two glasses, turning to ask you what you’d like to drink, except you’re suddenly standing close to him, and he knows you are not, in fact, in the mood to waste any time. His heart twists and turns in his chest. 

“You look gorgeous,” he tells you, because he wanted to.

You smile. “You too.” 

You stare at his lips, brushing them with the tip of your fingers, tracing their curves. Felix shivers, his chest tight, his legs a little unsteady. Is this really happening? Is this really happening to him? 

“Felix,” you breathe. “Kiss me?” 

He gives a little nod, inhaling slowly. 

Just fall, Felix.

Let yourself fall. 

He kisses you, and your lips taste of heaven. They’re even softer than he imagined, asking to be devoured, and Felix deepens the kiss almost instantly, greedy for more. You moan against his mouth, putting your arms on his shoulders, one of your hands burying itself in his hair. Felix pushes you against the counter of the kitchen, pinning your body against his. He kisses you like you neither of you need air, like it’s his first and last time. 

His hands touch your waist, slide around your figure to your back, his fingers slipping underneath your shirt. Your skin feels soft as he explores it. You sigh as you part your mouth, letting him wrap his tongue around yours. It tastes of caramel and Felix thinks, for a second, he might be losing his mind. He loves caramel. He told you that, once. His cock is already hard, pushing against you, but you do not seem to mind it. In fact, you start to roll your hips a little, causing enticing friction that sends further shivers down Felix’s spine. 

“Felix,” you whisper as you gasp for air. “Tell me what you like.” 

“You,” he answers quickly, placing wet kisses down your jaw, all the way to your ear, which he bites gently. 

You let out a moan, and it’s music to his ears. “I mean - you know what I mean…” 

“I know what I said,” Felix says, his lips brushing your neck. “I just want you.” 

He’s pretty sure he sees you smile, but he is too focused on kissing every inch of your exposed skin to linger on it. You take one of his hands and place it around one of your tits, and Felix presses his fingers a little, drawing a whimper from your lips. He could stay like this for hours, just discovering your body, your weak spots, your voice going high and low, breathing, moaning, breaking. 

“Just don’t stop making noise,” he tells you in a breath, capturing your lips again. “Not ever. Your voice sounds so sweet.” 

“I can do that,” you say with a slight chuckle. 

His hands wander on your ass, giving it a squeeze, and then he brings you up to sit you on the counter. Removing your shirt, he buries his face in between your breasts, giving them licks and kisses. You breathe out, stroking his hair, pulling his shirt off his shoulders. Felix doesn’t even feel shy under your eyes, like he’s known you forever. Your body is amazing to him, your skin soft, your scent making him delirious. 

He can finally touch you, he can finally love you. 

You unbutton your jeans and Felix helps you take them off, lifting your butt off the counter, sliding them down onto the floor. He bends down to kiss your legs, something he’s wanted to do since the first day he met you. He’s never been able to forget the sight of you walking away wearing Changbin’s hoodie. He traces his tongue the length of your thigh, stopping close to your underwear, making you shiver.

“Lix…” you whisper. “Don’t tease me too much.” 

Unable to help himself, Felix smiles, tugging cheekily at your panties. “You want me to kiss you down there, angel?” 

You open your eyes, and they are hazy, filled with desire, making Felix’s head spin. He keeps himself steady, wanting to please you above anything else. 

“Please,” you nod. 

“So nicely asked,” he answers. “Let’s see how wet you are for me.” 

Felix spreads your legs slowly, feeling almost dizzy, leaning to push his lips against the fabric of your panties, just above your clit. He puts a gentle kiss there, feeling your wetness, which sends a rush of blood to his already aching cock. He resists touching himself there, because he knows that he’d come in seconds just on the taste of you. 

He pulls out his tongue, gives your panties a quick lick, and you shiver, letting out a soft moan. Your hand comes to rest in his hair.

“M-more, please,” you whimper, rolling your hips almost desperately. 

“Angel,” he breathes. “Tell me what you want. Use your voice.” 

“I want -” you swallow, looking at him. “I want you to eat me out. I want your lips between my legs, drinking me in.” 

“Fuck,” Felix gulps. “How could I say no?”

With trembling fingers, Felix removes your panties and takes a look at your soaked cunt. It is right there, spread and ready for him. He doesn’t stop and think, he just buries his face in you, slurping your juices, drawing his tongue all over your pussy. You buck your hips as he starts to make out with your cunt, his hands keeping your legs apart. Your head falls against the cupboards, your eyes closed, your fingers pulling slightly at his blonde locks. 

“Felix, fuck, keep - keep doing that…” 

Gently, Felix sucks in your clit, and moves his hand so his fingers tease your entrance. 

“Does this feel good?” 

You nod feverishly, and Felix can’t help but smile, his chin coated in you, completely drunk on the sound and taste of you. 

“It feels so fucking good,” you breathe out. “Give me your fingers, Lix, please…” 

He pushes two fingers inside your hole, moving them slowly and steadily, his mouth drinking in the rest of your pussy. Looking up for a second, he sees your eyes closed tightly, your breasts moving as you arch your back, your nipples pointed in pleasure. His cock throbs in his pants, almost hurting him, but he doesn’t care. 

With his fingers inside of you, he can feel you clenching, coming close to your climax. He doesn’t stop, kissing your pussy even more fervently, and you whimper. 

“Lix, I’m going to… You’re gonna - you’re gonna make me come.” 

“Let me hear you, angel,” he tells you before delving back into your cunt, accelerating his movements, swirling his tongue around your swollen clit. 

You come all at once, your body shaking against him, your walls sucking his fingers in. Felix grins, not stopping until you breathe out deeply, your body relaxing, your high slowly coming down. 

He removes his fingers and stands back up, his jeans uncomfortably tight, but he gently takes your face in his hands to kiss you. Your skin is sensitive, he can feel it - you shiver a little as he strokes your arm. You put your arms around him then, pulling him close, and Felix sighs. You’re so warm. 

“That was amazing, Felix,” you breathe in his ear. 

“I’m glad,” he answers, playing with a strand of your hair. 

“Now will you let me make you feel good?” you ask, leaning back to look into his eyes. 

He nods, taking in the sight of you, looking fucked out, your hair messy, your skin glowing with sweat. You undo the button of his jeans, put them down, and he helps you remove them. Once he’s naked like you, his cock springing free, you pull him back to you and wrap your fingers around his length.

Felix’s breath hitches, unaccustomed to the touch, and it feels so incredible to know it is you touching him, he knows he can’t last too long. He already has to focus not to blow as you stroke his cock slowly, smearing it in pre-cum, feeling the hardness. 

You kiss his neck, sending shivers down his spine, your breasts pushed against his chest, your nipples tickling his skin. 

“So hard,” you breathe. “Your cock feels so nice, Lix. I can’t wait to have it inside of me.” 

“Can I fuck you?” he groans, unable to wait any longer. 

“Any way you want.” 

He gives you a long, dark look, and gently removes your hand. He needs to have your voice right there against his ear, so close it becomes a part of him. So he slips on the condom he brought from the bathroom, guides his cock to your entrance, and enters you slowly. 

You gasp, but he buries himself inside of you easily, aided by your slickness. One of his hands grabs your waist, the other settles on the back of your neck. You feel like everything he dreamed of and more. 

“Fuck, that feels good,” you say in his ear, and he can hear your smile. 

“Can you say my name?” he asks a little shyly, starting to move his hips, fucking you slowly. 

You kiss his earlobe, brush your lips against his ear. “Felix.” 

He pounds into you, moaning loudly. 

“Felix,” you repeat. “Keep fucking me, please.” 

He thrusts his hips into you, again and again, as you repeat his name. Harder, Felix. Fuck me, Felix. Felix. Felix. Each time it becomes more and more of a whimper, turning into whispers, then into moans, and into whimpers again. He’s fucking you vigorously, unable to slow down, unable to stop, intoxicated, your voice leading him on, pushing him to the edge. 

“I’m close,” he grunts in your ear.

“Felix,” you breathe. “I want to see your cum.” 

“Want me to come on you, angel?” 

“P-please. Fuck, I’m gonna come again if you keep fucking me like that -” 

You come again, shuddering against him, and the clench of your walls brings him to his climax. Felix hurries to remove the condom, strokes his cock a few times and comes on your leg, spurting his seed there. You look down at the mess as he breathes out, completely exhausted but still in his high. His forehead falls against yours, and you kiss his cheeks, his lips, the bridge of his nose. 

It takes a minute or two for him to start moving, his body feeling both drained and revitalized. He looks at you, his eyes heavy, in awe of what has happened. Did he just fuck you on the kitchen counter and came on your leg? Is that him, dripping there? Is that you, smiling at him, your eyes glassy and your lips raw with kissing? 

He could come again just at the sight. 

He pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, kisses you gently. You look back at him, your eyes sparkling.

“Watching was fun, but this is better, isn’t it?” you smile.  

Felix laughs. “Definitely.”

Changbin comes back home a few hours after, holding what looks like an empty take out coffee from the place around the corner. He closes the door slowly, taking a long look at the two of you. Felix gives him a wave, not removing his arm from around your shoulders. You do not move from where you are, huddled up next to him, your nose in the crook of his neck. Changbin seems to relax at finding you just cuddling on the couch in front of the television although he texted Felix ten minutes before to make sure it was “safe” to come home.

“Hey, kids,” he says with a knowing smirk, removing his shoes. 

Felix rolls his eyes but he can’t stop smiling. “Hey, Bin.” 

“How was the movie?” you ask him. 

“Not too bad,” Changbin shrugs. “But it had a horrible ending.”

“Ugh, I hate those,” you say, wrinkling your nose. 

Changbin walks over to the both of you, ruffling Felix’s hair on the way, and sits on the other section of the couch, giving both of you a long look. Felix blushes a little, but he feels too calm and content to be bothered. 

“So…” Changbin starts. “Did you… have fun?” 

You start laughing and the noise makes Felix’s chest vibrate. He grins at the sound, at the sensation, and Changbin chuckles. 

“Got my answer,” he states. “I won’t ask about it too much, but just give me one detail. For curiosity’s sake.” 

Felix exchanges a long look with you, and you smirk. You glance at Changbin, your hand resting on Felix’s stomach, under his shirt. You are caressing his skin with your thumb. 

“Kitchen,” you say.

Changbin scoffs. “I hope you cleaned up after yourselves, then. If my eggs taste weird tomorrow I’m blaming you.”

“You can blame the old pint of milk you still haven’t thrown away,” Felix points out.

“Oi. I let you guys get laid, you could throw it away for me.” 

“What does this have to do with an old pint of milk?” 

“Everything,” Changbin states. 

You sigh. “Oh my God, I will throw it away if you guys don’t shut it. It’s my favorite part.” 

Felix and Changbin exchange a look and giggle silently. There are a few seconds of silence where the three of you look at the movie on the television. You are mouthing the lines of dialogue and Changbin is smiling affectionately at you. Felix is not really paying any attention to the movie - he is focusing on you, your weight on him, your smell mixing with yours. It feels even better to have Changbin close. All his favorite people here. He does not feel empty. He does not feel cold.

“Should I leave?” Changbin asks after a while.

Felix gets where he comes from. It’s not bitter, it’s not disappointed. It’s careful. He’s testing the waters, making sure he’s not invading your space - but Felix quickly shakes his head. 

“No reason for you to,” he answers. 

You frown and turn to Changbin. “Stay, Bin.” 

You extend a hand and Changbin takes it with a smile, shuffling closer. 

“Want some caramel popcorn?” you offer, handing him the half full bowl of the popcorn you made earlier. 

Changbin scrunches his nose, leaning against your shoulder. “Hell, no. Only you two like that stuff.” 

Felix looks down at you. You are already looking at him with a smile.

• author’s note: Caramel popcorn is the best I've been craving it for days!! First time in my life I disagree with Seo Changbin!!!!!! Anyway. Did I ever tell you how much I adore Changlix? I need to write about them more. A lot more. So this is a little thing. I hope you guys enjoyed it ♡ My next fic will be a series, I hope to announce it soon!

• permanent taglist: @ughbehavior ; @upallnight-s ; @changbinluvr ; @rosexjimin ; @nasiaisan ; @lotus-dly ; @cb97percent ; @j-0ne25 ; @hwan-g ; @jhopesucker ; @tanyas97 ; @septicrebel ; @imtoooyoungforthisshit ; @sikebishes ; @sai-kida134 ; @sstarryoong ; @oxviolentheartxo (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[malepresentingleg]

is it 2013 again? cause i have a rant about teen wolf coming and i feel 16 y/o.

so due to dome heavy procrastination I've consumed a lot of teen wolf content, i skipped a bunch of episodes and a lot of scenes in the ones i haven't but i still have some Thoughts TM

it's good??? i had a Good Time watching, it was funny but intense and dark and i felt Feelings watching, some of the plotlines were meh (or maybe i just skipped them heh) but a lot were interesting and i loved the characters and their interaction

scott. my sweetheart. my baby. such a cutiepie, such a great protagonist 10/10 i love him and would die for him. he's so pure and cute and his little smile melts my heart. i love how he's fundamentally Human no matter how non human he is. he's a great character all around and i kinda wish they didn't do that shit to him at the end (imma get there) or treated him like he ISN'T the protagonist for such big parts of the shows

people KNOW. Stiles knows from day one, allison finds out soon, his mom finds out in season 2! the sheriff in 3, and they just become part of the gang and can help them with stuff bc they UNDERSTAND. shows like that get really tiring when the teens constantly lie to everyone around them and it was very refreshing. the running gag with the coach ruining things tho was funny and I'm ok with it.

Ok this is mellisa appreciation time. she's SUCH a great, complex and unusual mom-of-hero character. i absolutely love her and her attitude, i love how she's not simply being used as a tool to cause scott pain (just.. sometimes) and their relationship is parenting goals.

also isn't it fucking hilarious how she's a nurse but she just knows everything medical. she's also a surgeon and a mortician and a doctor. ik it's for plot reasons but it funny af.

in general women on the show.. had a lot of potential, i love them, but i hate how they were treated.

allison was all around great imo, her and scott's relationship was built very well and was two sided from the start (unlike... yeah), she has emotions, she's smart and brave, but also human and scared, she kicks ass and, again, exists outside of Scott's GF status (mostly). andddd they killed her. idk if the actress had to/wanted to leave or it was a pure writers decision bc they needed to keep just her father or something, but that would have been ok if not for all the other things

we have 3 main kickass ladies with powers- lydia, kira and malia. lydia spent close to FIVE whole seasons not knowing anything about her abilities/not knowing how to control them. cmon, it gets old. scott masters his powers after a season or two (and had control a lot sooner), parrish finds out what he is like half a season after it becomes relevant etc.

malia- do i need to explain? she was CONSTANTLY struggling controlling her abilities, no matter how badass she supposedly was. and kira oh boy, they did her dirty, didn't they?

kira was such a cute adorable character. i loved her and her little crush on scott and wanting to make friends and being freaked out about relationships, i love her discovering her past and heritage and learning to fight and gaining control and becoming a badass. but. what? they just undid all this? oh no the fox is taking over she has no control no agency of her own she needs to disappear for years now bye :( again, idk if the actress needed to leave but it was so unsatisfying and was insulting to the character. she wasn't even mentioned later a bunch like allison was, just they needed her mom for a plot tool and didn't even acknowledge it was her sword they were breaking. uhm rude?

LET WOMEN HAVE POWERS AND BE AWESOME WITH THEM. and not just minor/bad characters thanks.

i love the concept of a pack on the show and how you don't have to be a werewolf to be a part of it, how scott becomes a true alpha and how he cares about his friends. i kinda feel like in later seasons him being an alpha was more talk than show which like /: meh. like i said, he stopped BEING the main character, just talked about as if he was.

i love how friendship is valued, but i think it could be more.. i mean the scene in the motel, all season 3b, scott and lydia, all the girls with each other.. i love it. too many times tho it "wasn't enough" and only romantic love worked which SUCKS. in 6a i was so happy scott went in to try and remember stiles and the memories hit me right in the heart. then when it "wasn't enough" i was SO pissed and frustrated goddammit. i guess that leads me to the next point-

ships, should i talk about ships? i don't want hate in my asks but oh well it's been a few years maybe there's no fandom to care. I'll start with the end

malia and scott. what. the. fuck. when, out of fucking no where, they had like a lingering look or something i was just "nope. no thanks". and then every scene they had together i had to cover my eyes bc it felt so wrong and bad and awkward. jesus. no build up at ALL, they're like family, i just. ew. no. it felt way too much like "oh we gotta pair off the leftovers" or "the main character can't end up single" well guess what, he fucking can. it was. god. i can't even explain the disgust. when he needed to heal and all she had to do was kiss him ugh. it felt so fake and empty of meaning. i would 100% prefer for it to be stiles (I'll get there) or his mom who snapped him out of it.

melissa and chris, i could get aboard with that. def cute, def weird af since his dead daughter was dating her son but, well.

stiles and lydia is a ship i have conflicting feelings about. i absolutely hate the concept of "the nerd" is in love with the popular girl since freshman year and he's borderline being a creep ("oh but it's stiles! he's a dork and he's harmless" no.), completely obsessed with her and she ignores him but then they end up getting together.. i mean, it sends a bad msg to obsessed boys about how it's worth it in the end, and it makes the whole relationship feel unbalanced from the start, makes her reciprocation feel unatural. BUT, i have to admit the show did kinda make me warm up to this ship by the end, curse them. it was kinda cute. i wish there was more mutualness before it became such an important part in 6a tho.

just gonna put it out there: malia/kira and lydia/allison. i wish we saw more girl on girl interactions in general but the ones we had were very good, great dynamics.

i won't get too much into it but i.. i don't ship st*rek. i understand why they're the biggest ship (two white hot boys that interact with each other, i mean.), and i see the couple of fan service-y moments the show throws at us but just. they don't have my heart, i don't really care about them. not the characters, the characters i absolutely love! (tho this watch i skipped most of season 1 and 2 and 3a and i think that's where derek is the most asshole.. didn't he do really bad things? idr) idk if you want a bad character on the way to redemption with someone you should ship liam and theo who had way better shippy chemistry imo, even tho their ship probably wouldn't be healthy given their dynamic history, huh.

the ship that does owns my heart? scilies. I'm a softy when it comes to best friends to lovers, and their bond and relationship is just. so. pure. don't get me wrong, i love me a good platonic relationship, but there was just one to many homoerotic interactions between them for me not to ship it, hard. (not to be that person but my guess is that if Scott was white it would have been a way bigger ship, but who knows?) i love their love, i love they would do anything for each other, and i feel like there were a bunch of very missed opportunities for them in later seasons :(

so representation. this feels like a show that is trying to be Woke TM but it's not going so well. the main character is supposedly latino but it's never ever addressed. idc about "oh we want a world without prejudice" you can still fucking address it. i mean they went to Mexico a couple of times, stiles keeps saying "Mexican cousin" i mean. god. give us something. did i mention scott was told he'd make a great "nazi youth" ..

and you don't need to be a genius to see the most characters are very white or at least very white passing. and when you don't address their non whiteness they might as well be..

i already mentioned how poorly i feel kira was treated, but also mason, who is a wonderful character, gets no depth? we know nothing about him other than being gay and smart pretty much.

i also spoke about the women already but, they were really really great women characters, but not enough of them, not enough that lasted.

there's not much to talk about disability bc it just wasn't on the show. the only blind character was healed which. /: same with epilepsy and asthma..

i think the show is probably very proud (ha) with their LGBTQ+ rep bc they're like "oh let's make this insignificant couple gay bc hey nbg". examples are lydia's grandma, La Bete and marcel, i think nolan and jiang were exes and then nolan and gabe were a thing? idr if it was explicit. the couple of girls in the tent.. probably a couple more. it's nice, def better than all random couples being straight but that's not satisfying as rep.

Danny was great. i think he and ethan were.. cute? i think he was awesome, i loved danny so much and was very excited to learn he KNOWS at the end of season 3 and was waiting to see him join the pack. instead he fucking disappeared?! wtf. #WhereDidDannyGo

brett was cute rep, especially being bi but i feel like it could go into the insignificant pool which, again, is better than nothing.

mason and corey i just don't have strong feelings about. they were definitely cute and I'm glad they were together, i love mason A Lot. i think this relationship could be explored more, or at least the characters could be explored more to give this relationship more depth.

very interesting how there's no wlw canon couple, not even hinted. just fan servicey hot malia kira dance which /:

not to mention transgenderness. god can you imagine the interesting plotline of transitioning while being a werewolf 0:

i think the rep i was most happy about was ethan and Jackson. even tho i don't think there was build up or clues in the first couple of seasons, I'm happy for the actor who i know was struggling with coming out publicly, and it was very fun and refreshing for the ending. even if we got very few scenes with them the dynamic was 10/10

the biggest problem is obviously stiles. i just don't understand why, if they're so supposedly progressive, they went to that length to queerbait without following through. the whole gag of wanting to be attractive to danny and to gay guys, the whole "aww danny want to have sex with me that's so nice", the whole "do you like guys too?". it's a gag. his alleged bisexuality is the butt of a joke, and it pisses me the fuck off. they don't have to make it a big deal or have him get a bf for it to be official. it wasn't subtle subtext. it was a CHOICE. to put a spotlight on his sexuality but not deliver. -100/10 would not recommend.

also they could talk about his mental health more.

and about Scott's, please and thank you.

and everyone's.

i had some more feelings, like villains changing sides without getting a proper redemption and having no consequences, the wholesomeness of the sherriff and mellisa being each other's kids second parent eichen house (wtf??), and more, but i think i wrote enough for now.

tl;dr- good show with A Lot of problems, will always have a place in my heart bc I'm a nostalgic gal.

[writeiolite]

IO !!! hiiiiii i'm so glad you had a lot of fun yesterday!!! i'm always hoping your days get better and better as they pass 🥺 my day was fine!!! it was a little uneventful, but fine!! thank you so much for asking :""(( as for my all time favorite food... there's this really neat japanese restaurant here called yabu that has really good tonkatsu but then there's this hotel restaurant called the nest that has the best lamb chop... i wouldn't mind calling either my favorite but its really hard to choose between them .. but i wanna know what's your all time favorite food!!! are you a sweets person or do you usually go for something more savory? :DD and CutiePie picked up a new skill???? 🥺🥺🥺 that's so cute that makes me so happy 🥺🥺🥺 hopefully one day CutiePie will get a permanent kitty friend???? and i just saw that you updated wtf u!!!! AAAAA i cant wait to read it!!! im a little nervous but all the more excited for the next events thatll happen but uhhhh this got a little too long JSBANHA i hope you're having a good day today!!! dont forget to drink lots and lots of water and eat at the right times ok !!!! please take care of urself and ur kitties io !!!! -🗞

ps. i reread dive today and now my heart is once again just in a puddle by my feet. i am still inexplicably amazed at how good you are with characterizing and keeping true to their personalities in any prompt 🥺 as always, YOURE SO GOOD IO !!! <333

🥺im hoping the same for you!! seeing u come by my inbox almost everyday with kind words rly warms my heart but also makes me wonder if u have anyone else doing the same for you!! you deserve someone to come in and tell you kind words and frequently remind you that you matter!! you’re such a wonderfully nice person so thank you for being here for me🥺🥺🥺🥺

LAMB CHOP!!! SOOO YUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OMGOMGOMGOGM i love lamb, maybe as much as i love beef xDD i’m DEFINITELY a sweets person!! i love sugar in all its forms <333 but it think the beeeeessstttt food i’ve had was a filet my parents made the other day! it was so thick and juicy and buttery... ugh i miss it LFMAOOO

YES CUTIEPIE IS SO SMARRRTTTT!! :”) he’s sad now bc Midnight went home so he’s just laying around :( 

AS FOR FICS!!!! OMGGGG i hope you enjoy WTF U! it’s my babyyyy hehe n it’s helped me grow a lot as a writer ~^^~ the complete opposite of dive in terms of genre but it’s fine,,,!! ASJGSJKSj I CAN’T BELIEVE U LIKE IT THAT MIUCH OMGGG THANK YOU HAHAHAH IMMA HAVE TO REREAD IT TO GET SOFT FEELIES TOO ㅠㅠ ♡ THANK YOUUU!!!

I LOVE YOU PLS TAKE CARE OF URSELF FOR MEEEEE!! I ATE LOTS TODAY SO FAR N I’LL HAVE MORE WATER SO YOU DO THE SAME :3

[ask-beacons-finest]

Afewdrinks!Yang, sitting on the Rose-Xiao Long's family couch defensively: It isn't weird! I just...I just never really cared enough about anyone else I guess.

Afewdrinks!Blake, laying against Yang, laughing: It honestly explains why you were so bad at it.

AFD!Yang, in a panic: WAS I REALLY BAD?! I'M SO SORRY YOU WERE MY FIRST KISS IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

AFD!Blake, cheerfully squeezes Yang's cheek, teasing: Awwwh, the wittle baby's first smoochy smooch!

AFD!Ruby, laughing from Penny and Weiss's laps as Yang bites at Blake's fingers: Hah! Not even I'm that sad.

AFD!Weiss, perking her head up: Ruby, if I remember right your first kiss was with a boy and you got so nervous you kicked him in the groin so hard he threw up.

AFD!Ruby, wincing at the laughter now focused on her: Shit...shoulda never told you that story.

AFD!Weiss, rolling her eyes: But you did.

AFD!Yang, now fiddling cutely with Blake's hand, their fingers interlocking: Cutiepie~ cutiepie~ oh! Weiss! What about you? Who was your first kiss?

AFD!Weiss, her face burning red, turning away: It...It was at a party in highschool, freshman year, we played spin the bottle.

AFD!Blake, wiggling her eyebrows: Ooooooooh~

AFD!Weiss, a bit embarrassed: It...I landed on a girl named Neon...we kissed and...I don't know.

AFD!Weiss, a bit upset: Guess it looked like I enjoyed it too much. Never lived it down...thankfully, Neon wasn't offended or anything. We were basically best friends throughout the rest of highschool.

AFD!Weiss, rubbing the back of her head, some bittersweet laughter: But yup. Guess my first kiss was also my first realization that...I did like girls, and it was...scary.

AFD!Penny, leaning towards Weiss and plants a gentle kiss on her cheek, speaking softly with a smile: Well, you are brave, Weiss Schnee. And we love you.

AFD!Weiss, smiling, nods: Thank you, Penny...Blake? What about you?

AFD!Blake, rolling her eyes, disgusted: Ugh. Adam. Gross. Gross gross gross. So glad I realized I was bi bi bi, and said bye bye bye.

AFD!Taiyang, walking into the room from the kitchen, casually joking as he takes a seat in a reclining chair beside the couch: Ooooh, love that song. Bit before your time though.

AFD!Yang, raising an eyebrow: Dad I remember that song?

AFD!Taiyang, nodding with a smile: Yeah, because I play good music.

AFD!Summer, casually walking in, sitting down on the arm of the recliner Tai is in: Well hun, "good" is very subjective. So! What are you girls all chatting about?

AFD!Blake: First kisses.

AFD!Yang, nods: Penny's was Weiss, mine was Blake, Ruby's was some random boy, Weiss's was-

AFD!Taiyang, cutting her off: WHOA WHOA WHOA!?!? RANDOM BOY WHO?!

AFD!Summer, rolls her eyes and whaps the back of Tai's head, scowling at him, but quickly changes to a dreamy look: Oh shush you! And ahhhh!!!! First kisses~~ I remember mine!

AFD!Ruby, a bit curious: Really? Who was it mom? Dad?

AFD!Summer, chuckling a little, making a face at Ruby: As if, your father and I were friends since we were kids, he took almost twenty years to kiss me. No no no, my first kiss was actuallyyyyyy~

AFD!Summer, smiling: Your Uncle Qrow!

AFD!Yang, shouting: WHAT!?

AFD!Ruby, shocked: YOU'RE KIDDING!?

AFD!Weiss, also shocked: Oh my god has my sister vicariously made out with your mom?

AFD!Summer, laughing, her face a bit flushed: Yeah, yeah. Qrow and I dated a little in high school. It didn't last too too long after graduation though, especially since he went into the military. And of course, I still love him dearly, but romance just wasn't right for us.

AFD!Yang, still taking it all in: Wow...I...Wow. Dad? What about you? Who was your first kiss? Was it Mom? Raven?

AFD!Summer, struggling to hold back her giggling: Yeah hunny who was your first kiss? Tell us tell us!

AFD!Taiyang, scowling silently with crossed arms: ...

AFD!Taiyang, sighs, giving up: It was...ugh, my first kiss was also your Uncle Qrow.

AFD!Yang, nearly jumping out of the couch, causing Blake to cling onto her for fear of flying off, losing her mind: NO FUCKING WAY!

AFD!Ruby, screaming with laughter: THAT'S SO UNBELIEVEABLE! NO WAY! NOOOOOO WAY IS THAT TRUE!

AFD!Weiss, looking down to Ruby, having a crisis: Ruby my sister has basically kissed both your parents, Ruby, RUBY!

[tellywoodtrash]

Sanjivani - Weeks 4 + 5

Overall Plot

Heavy in terms of the background stories for Sid and Ishani and their deeply ingrained emotional issues. Their relationship though, phew; such highs and lows, that I'm almost dizzy with how quickly they fight and make up. Though the Juhi/Shashank/Anjali/Vardhan track remains good to watch on the basis of performance, not much progress on that front plot-wise, other than Shashank unwillingly approving the luxury ward and the fallout from that.

The Medical Stuff

Still boring for a medical procedural junkie like me; it seems like they just flip through a medical textbook and pick some two, three randomass illnesses, but then barely go into depth about it. It’s like they pick these things just for the novelty of the name and nothing else.

The Acting

Needless to say, the seniors reliably turn in the best performances. Namit continues to get better, fewer missteps each week than the last. Also nicely compelling in some scenes where he emotes quietly with his face. Surbhi on the other hand seems to be a see-saw; it's just bewildering for me to watch her all over the place like this, after seeing her be nicely measured in the first 1.5 years of IB. IDK if it's the character or the direction or what, but she seems so messily uncontrolled in this role compared to what I've seen of her as Haya/Anika. The supporting cast - Rashmi, Jason, Robin, Kunal, Rahul - got marginally more to do these weeks than previously, and they were pretty good; especially Rashmi who got some nice scenes to do.

The Characters

Sid: Still the character I'm most invested in. He has major existential angst about possibly being naajaayaz and not knowing who his father is. They also brought back Fuckboy Sid; well not really, but his "past" catches up with him when 3 girls he was seeing at the same time show up together to beat him up. He's definitely a charmer alright, seeing how he gets out of sticky situations like these. As a doctor, I truly like watching him in his element; he’s smart and focused and has wonderful bedside manner; gentle and compassionate, knows how to get patients to open up to him, and how to comfort them in turn. He's the best at his job among the residents, and we can see why Shashank likes him so much. Also, like Shashank he’s a good mentor, the way he guides his juniors not only in matters of medical stuff, but also in interpersonal stuff like self-esteem, and things like basic human empathy, that’s oft-forgotten in high-pressure situations. WRT the romance, I find how besotted/concerned he is for Ishani pretty adorable. Like it's an appropriate amount (for the time they’ve known each other) and comes from genuinely liking her as a person, even with all her quirks and unlikable traits. And thankfully there’s zero creepy slo-mo staring or having intrusive romantic thoughts while working or anything like that (side-eye at Armaan/Riddhima.) Like, he's in tune with her emotionally, despite all their innumerable differences and genuinely cares for her in a selfless manner, even with the constant ups and downs in their dynamic.

Ishani: Continues to be diagnostic genius but in the dumbest fucking way. A ex fling of Sid’s making a threatening gun gesture with her hand at him led Ishani to deduce that the kid had swallowed bullets and thus had lead poisoning???? She diagnosed a patient that NINE SPECIALISTS couldn't diagnose?!?!?!? (Like, either she's the best diagnostician in the goddamn world, or Rishabh was lying and/or Sanjivani's specialists are hella bad at their jobs.) Her diagnoses kinda come outta fucking nowhere; till date, only the Refsum Disease one seemed legit, coz she actually looked into a patient's chart AND ran multiple conclusive tests for it; nahi toh random tukkebaazi se hi chal rahi hai iski career. Also, I sympathise with her on the subject of her parents, but after a point, her reactions are so damn extra. Like, I’m not a fan of the fuckery that is organizational hierarchy, but she’s just TOO FUCKING MUCH, from slapping Sid, to getting some senior doctor suspended for sleeping on the job, to undermining senior specialists in front of their patients. Like god sis, you've barely been here for 2 weeks or so. Would it kill you to simmer down and lay low for a bit? You’re a first year resident for fuck’s sake; save this nonsense for at least the third year. Idk how or why anyone puts up with her, honestly.

Asha & Aman: Still genial, still best in small to medium amounts. Aman is kinda hilariously self-centered but pretty dumb (I have serious doubts as to how he got into med school/Sanjivani. He's rich, so maybe influence?) Asha is better knowledge-wise, but super competitive and always wanting to be on every single case, which gets annoying; but they gave her a good reason for being that way, which Rashmi performed quite compellingly. What I love most about Asha is that she doesn't carry her momentary irritations with Ishani into their overall relationship. That's work stuff and outside of it, she's very affectionate and fond of Ishani, even fiercely protective and supportive of her when the latter is rendered weak by the poster drama. Good. I'm here for tight friendships between girls. Aman's a pretty good friend too; misguided in his attempts coz of his dumb self-centeredness, but he's intrinsically a good dude whose heart's in the right place and tries his best to comfort his friends when they’re disturbed.

Dialogue of the Week:

Asha [re: Ishani/Sid]: Arre in dono ka jab dekho marad-lugaai jaisa jhagda hi chalta rehta hai; yeh ghar-grihasti waale jhagde baad mein na kar sakte?

Rishabh: Continues to be The Fucking Worst. Chalo, Ishani ke baare mein Vadhan fed him the gossip, but how the fuck does he know so much about Sid's personal life????? I'd forgive his fuckery if he was at least a good doctor, but he's not; he's just an annoying character with zero redeeming qualities whatsoever. I honestly wait for his biweekly roughing up by Sid, coz by god, bada mazzaa aata hai jab is kameene ke saath pitaai hoti hai.

Neil: Ok so it turns out he's a doctor who's just really really squeamish when it comes to blood. My question is, then why is he in an area that involves an abundance of it in the first place? There's plenty of specializations in medicine that don't involve seeing blood/other gross stuff (psychiatry, neurology, physiotherapy/physical rehab, radiology, nutrition, nuclear medicine......) Why not go for one of those? Like, the end of MBBS/internship should have been long enough to figure out this issue with blood and pick an appropriate specialization no? Is he a surgical resident too, like the others? In that case, it’s just truly bizarre how/why he chose this field. Other than that minor issue, I love him, he is softest and purest boy. Give him a dancing scene every few weeks, coz I wanna watch Jason groove!

Rahil: The most likable person on this show. WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU GIVE US MORE OF HIM, HUH????? He's so sweet and genuine and soft (to the degree of stupidity - he took time off and became an ambulance driver to help Sid sort out his issues with Ishani???? Lol boo, I get he’s your best friend/boss, but yeh thoda too much ho gaya.) Hopefully he’ll be proving Rishabh is behind all the posters next week, and thus we all win - Sid coz his name is cleared, Ishani coz she’ll get the name of her culprit/learn to trust that she’s got friends who have her back here, and me coz I’ll get more smartypants cutiepie Rahil!!!!

Shashank: They're not really giving me any meaty Shashank/Anjali stuff (other than what they’ve already shown us in the last few weeks) so thank god they're giving me the next best thing: Shashank being an excellent “dadTor” (dad + mentor) to Juhi, Sid, and Ishani. Esp. with Sid & Ishani, I genuinely love how he minces no words and is always forthright with them, but never ever in an unkind way. He's always gentle and soft and puts it in a way that guides them to introspect and be better. That's what good parenting/teaching is; not solving the problems FOR your kids, but enabling them to come up with the solutions on their own, thus making a lasting impression/change in their psyche. 

Juhi: They've kept her all tied up in admin stuff than medical, and I'm kinda ehhhhhh about that, but it's always a balm to my heart when she appears with her gentle smile and calming demeanor. I genuinely feel so bad for her that she’s stuck in between Shashank and Anjali, and feels responsible for fixing their relationship, even though it doesn’t really have anything to do with her. Also lol, the best scene in this fortnight was her ‘BITCH WTF????’  face when Vardhan was getting handsy with Anjali in front of her. BUT ALSO TELL US WHAT THE ISSUE WITH RAHUL IS ALREADY?!?!?!?!!!!

Anjali: I don't like this show's up/down writing of Anjali. On one hand they have her being compassionate towards that patient's husband who slapped her, but then she goes and makes multiple hurtful comments to Ishani? Surely she, of all people, whose biggest issue in life is being unable to break out from under the shadow of parents in the same profession, would understand and empathize with Ishani? Also, it’s clear that Ishani has a family connection with the Guptas and has been visiting them since she was a child, so why does Anjali have zero familiarity with her? Like, you’d have some kinda fondness for a kid you’ve known for 15-20 odd years no? I really don’t like the way they’re portraying her as a person who’s got no real human feelings for anyone or anything beyond her job/dad’s approval. #JUSTICE4ANJALI

Vardhan: Ugh, like Rishabh, continues to be a gross slimeball. Like honestly, doesn't a CFO of a major hospital have more to do than pettily making two residents keep fighting amongst themselves? Get a life, dude. Go visit that son of yours whom you're always talking to on the phone, or something. And for the love of god, please stop hitting on Anjali in this gross manner. (Guessing he’s divorced, and the wife has the kid, and thus these shenanigans.) Also another totally petty gripe, I really hate how the hair at the nape of his neck is always sticking out weird. Can someone put some gel on that shit for him????

Overall Rating: 3.5/5

[kopikokun]

thank you for the ship!! (the recent doyoung one) fr are you my long lost twin??😲 because i also used to love the kopiko candy (so cute for a username;;;) + ngl, you described such a perfect relationship- like you put down everything i longed for! like that was so impressive,,my heart skipped

hey cutiepie!! i’m really glad you liked it! 💖💖

when i write for doyoung, i really just like to delve deep into the emotional aspect of the relationship? idk maybe it’s because i once read this killer fic series by my fav nct writer (@/starxblossom) and it was just so ANGSTY and ugh,,, it’s sorta influenced the way i’ve characterised doyoungie hdggssshhfg

and wHAT??? this can’t just be a coincidence? you like kopiko too?? truly we are ✨✨twins✨✨

omg i really can’t believe we have so much in common!!

[em-karios]

I was tagged by @taestyhoe, thanks so much!

Rules: Answers these 92 statements and tag 20 people

LAST:

1. Drink: Chocolate Milk 

2. Phone Call: I don’t talk to people...

3. Text message: DRAMA

4. Song you listened to: Taemin-Flame of Love 

5. Time you cried: Few days ago..lol not gonna say why..

6. Dated someone twice: Have not! 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Definitely (not Alex XD he's amazing)  

8. Been cheated on: Never, thankfully! 

9. Lost someone special: Nope! I'm lucky so far 

10. Been depressed: Yep

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope not my thing

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12-14. blood red, turquoise, violet 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Kinda! sorta just don't talk to them a whole lot...

16. Fallen out of love: Nope :) 

17. Laughed until you cried: idk at what but prob something Alex said he funny as hell

18. Found out someone was talking about you: kinda? not long ago idk lol idc

19. Met someone who changed you: how recently?lol really recent? no 

20. Found out who your friends are: trying 

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i don't use Facebook and the answer would still be no

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: idk only a few but again don’t use it 

23. Do you have any pets: i did...(ily Sam)...but i recently dog sat for a week, we called her milkshake lol she was cute 

24. Do you want to change your name: yes...something more unique (rose maybe idk) but i don’t mind my name 

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: celebrated finishing exams and hung out with bae :3 

26. What time did you wake up: 8:30 wish i got a little more sleep

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching The Matrix with bae lol 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the freedom of living away from fam in college

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: this morning when she left the house to go to work lol 

30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: to stop procrastinating and to be more social. and to take care of myself more. yeah.

31. What are you listening to right now: nothing

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: ?? what is this question lmao

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me, people i guess, the world, everything ( I'm a very positive person) 

34. Most visited website: youtube (live on it practically) 

35. Elementary: long time ago!

36. High School: See ya bitches! 

37. College: HELL 

38. Haircolor: brown but hopefully gonna die it GREEN 

39. Long or short hair: cut it this summer pretty short but my hair grows fast so medium length 

40. Do you have a crush on someone: hell yeah :3

41. What do you like about yourself: ....

42. Piercings: 3 on each ear. for awhile i wanted a nose piercing 

43. Bloodtype: O+ ( i think) 

44. Nickname: when i was younger peanut, also get quite a lot dumbass, cutiepie, stupit, potato, noodle, (mostly by bae) and wifey 

45. Relationship status: in love <3

46. ??? ????

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favorite TV Show: OITNB, DEATHNOTE (anime in general tbh), Bates Motel,etc 

49. Tattoos: one day! 

50. Right or left: right 

51. Surgery: nope (thank god)

52. Piercing: more???

53. Sport: what 

54. ??? ????

55. Vacation: just came back from California and Lake Tahoe it was awesome! 

56. Pair of trainers: vans, converse, and knock off adidas 

MORE GENERAL: hai idk im hungry 

57. Eating: candy...which i shouldn't i haven't eaten anything else 

58. Drinking: should be drinking water 

59. I’m about to: take a shower and get stuff ready for college ugh 

60. ??? whats up with these random question marks 

61. Waiting for: me to get my shit together (which will never happen)

62. Want: food and skills 

63. Get married: i would maybe like to but I'm not gonna be upset if i don't 

64. Career: TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT  

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: tbh i really like both :3 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: i like being short 

68. Older or younger: younger??? idk what its referring to 

69. ??? hehe 

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: TUMMY

71. Sensitive or loud: I'm very sensitive 

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship for sure 

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I'm always cautious lol 

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: would never 

75. Drank hard liquor: nope

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: for a few minutes lol 

77. Turned someone down: yeah....sorry dudes 

78. Sex in the first date: no

79. Broken someones heart: i don't think so...?

80. Had your heart broken: in middle school so not really lol 

81. Been arrested: have been questioned lol 

82. Cried when someone died: yep 

83. Fallen for a friend: he’s my best friend so yeah :D

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: good one 

85. Miracles: kinda, why not i guess depends 

86. Love at first sight: nope a relationship takes time 

87. Santa Claus: of course why wouldn't i? 

88. Kiss in the first date: not really recommend but idc 

89. Angels: yes :) (bae) 

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: ALEX ILY 

91. Eyecolor: brown

92. Favorite movie: an asian thriller movie basically lol 

i tag @allegaeon, @casanddeangirl, @uh-oh-its-alex , @helloilovemyusernamestuff and anyone else who wants to! ( i have like no friends on here lol) 

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 29} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received before this IWSY chapter was posted ^^)

@jungshaking said: I was so hyped during work yesterday. I thought "oh yes a new chapter tonight" MULTIPLE times, but I had to remind myself each time that it was Monday 😩😭 (cont.) tbh I'm so scared that the upcoming IWSY chapter will be the last now that Yoongi is gone

Haha you poor thing! It’s coming soon so no need to wait any longer! And don’t worry, it’s not the last chapter ^^ :3

Anonymous said: WAIT HOLY SHIT IT'S TUESDAY ALREADY??????OMGGGKJSJGJGSK

IKR THIS WEEK PASSED TOO QUICKLY

Anonymous said: IT'S TUESDAY I'M EXCITED

I’m excited and nervous :(

@killingalltheflowers said: I kinda... just tried Merlot wine because of IWSY xD

Ooooh what did you think of it?

Anonymous said: I really think "I was here" by beyonce suits IWSY's last chapter

Yesssssssssss! You’re right!

Anonymous said: Not sure why but I imagined the Sine Nomine to look like a titan with grey hair (from aot)

You can imagine them to look like however you please!! I encourage that wholeheartedly heh ^^

Anonymous said: I am reaaaaady come and snatch my wig oh Saraaaa Take my heaaaaart take it all  *kiss yr cute ass cheeks* --wifey anon 🐇

I hope it won’t disappoint you ^^ and yes pls give me all the kissies and cuddles~~

Anonymous said: Heheheheh it is tuesday ...... 😏😏😏

Indeed it is *wiggles brows*

@jynxy24 said: IWSY IS COMING AND IF YOU'LL PLEASE SPARE MY HEARTEU. I HAVE EXAMS AND I WANT TO PASS BEFORE I DIE. I love you, Sara!! (I'm hoping for a great chapter kukuku :3)

I hope it will spare your heart! And don’t worry my love I’m sure you will do amazingly in your exams ^^ I really hope you will think the chapter is great, I tried very hard :)

@clara-licht said: So in the end, I didn't get the univ invitation and I also didn't get the Wings Tour ticket even after waiting in the venue for hours, so I felt really shitty even until now. (I still can't listen to 2!3! or I'll break down in tears) But still, I look forward to Wednesdays because IWSY can always get my mind off these problems even if only for a while. How many more chapters do you reckon it will be? I, for one, don't want it to end but all good things will come to an end after all :')

Awh babe I’m so so sorry to hear that :/ that really sucks but don’t worry, BTS will definitely be coming back to where you live in the future and you can have another chance to see them okay? Same with the University, are you able to apply for another one? Did you get any more offers? I’m glad that IWSY can make you a little happy ^^ And I’ not 100% sure, but I suspect that next week might be the last chapter, I haven’t fully decided yet! But the final chapter will have ‘Final Chapter’ written in the title :D

@nora2bts said: Hiii! I'm sorry I don't want to be annoying or anything but I binge read "IWSU" and I reallyyyyyyy loved it a lot! I was just wondering if u were gonna post part 29 today, since I can't wait, I've been waiting for what seems an eternity! 😂😂😂 I just wanted to let u know that I really enjoyed your stories, thank you 😊 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

You’re not annoying love! I do write at the top of every chapter that IWSY is posted every Tuesday evening between 9-10pm UK time and I have always stayed true to that so fear not! Thank you so much for enjoying the story my love, you’re so welcome ^^

@clara-licht said: I was listening to Spring Day when I read chapter 29 and for the first time since WT in Jakarta I can listen to the song and sing it happily instead of feeling hurt and upset, because I was so excited throughout the chapter! So thank you for that :) I can't stop smiling, gosh! I really, REALLY want to know how Jiminnie is faring. And I think I fell for Namjoon. That sweet, sweet boy 😍 Oh btw, how old are they all by now? Including Namjoon, Yoongi (had he been alive), Jin, and Hobi?

AwwwwHHHH YES! I’m glad it holds no bad memories for you now my love ^^ Thank you for reading the chapter dear :D And as for their ages, I did specify Yoongi’s was older than Taehyung in a precious chapter (I just can’t remember which chapter, sorry!) and Namjoon is University/college age so somewhere between 18-25 (I decided not to give a specific age). Unfortunately, I never specified Hoseok and Seokjin’s ages in the story but they would have been University age too :D

Anonymous said: “Not only his sun his moon and all his stars" I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

WHAT DID I DO

@semisweetsuga said: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELLO MY SWEET BABYBOY PUMPKIN SPICE CHAI LATTE WHOM I LOVE VERY MUCH

@mocking-butts said: OH MY GOD IM A SOBBING MESS BECAUSE THIS STORY IS THE BEST THING EVER I CANT WITH LIFE.PLEASE BE NEXT WEEK ALREADY

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT THANK YOU BABY c:

@shineeshawol204 said: AHHHHHHHHHHHH (cont.) I retract my former statement of you being a BiTcH because mmm i is happy now :) much content, very pleased

YAY I’M NO LONGER THE BITCH, I CAN DIE IN PEACE c: hehe ^^ thank you doll!

@killingalltheflowers said: This. This was the cutest and most heartwarming chapter ending ever. I'm so happy I'm able to go to bed calmly and happily and fluffily for once after reading IWSY xD

It was so heartwarming I felt all floofy when I was writing a lot of it :3 I hope you have a great sleep and have nice fluffy dreams of Kookie! :3

Anonymous said: OK HOLD ON SO CHAPTER 29 WAS AMAZING and then I was just reading your responses to the questions abt chap 28 and then I saw "Don’t threaten me with a good time" and then I was all like waIT A SEC DO U LISTEN TO PANIC! LIKE ALTHOUGH IM NOT A HUGE FAN THE SONGS ARE AMAZING ٩( ᐛ )و

LISTEN I WAS AND STILL AM TRASH FOR PANIC! - AS WELL AS FALL OUT BOY AND MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE I was the definition of a myspace scene queen in my early teens but I listened to an eclectic mix of music - not just those types of bands hehe :3

@animeimmortal said: YAH. DONT LEAVE ME ON THAT 'WILL YOU MARRY ME' SHIT. GAH!. im sorry i love you ❤ buT LIKE BRUHHH i want MOrE ❤❤❤

Listen - I will always leave you hanging c: hehe I love you too! Thank you for reading the chapter as always beautiful ^^

Anonymous said: Babe, the 29th part of IWSY was absolutely amazing ;-; but i feel that the end is nearing.. I loved IWSY so much it brought me to tears and it hurts to think that so beautiful a thing would actually be coming to an end.. Your writing skills are on fleek and the story is well woven.. Thank you so much for such an incredible experience ~ ❤😭😘

The end is definitely nearing, sadly enough :c IWSY has become a real world to me for the past almost 30 weeks of my life! lol :3 I suspect that next week will be the final chapter, but I don’t know for 100% so don’t quote me on that ;D Your words about me are beautiful and I don’t deserve them, but thank you so much my love ^^

Anonymous said: Happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy!! I'm really excited about how IWSY will end! I hope it ends happily!

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows for everyone yay!!

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: tUESDAY BRO IT IS TUESDAY AND IM SCREAMING AND CRYING A LIL THIS CHAPTER WAS PURE FLUFF I LOVE LIFE I LOVE LIVING I LOVE EVERYTHING MY HEART IS SO HAPPY

IT WAS PURE FLUFF IT MADE ME SO HAPPY NOT TO HAVE TO ALMOST KILL SOMEONE OFF OR WRITE ABOUT DEATH FOR THE LAST PART OF THE CHAPTER LOL~ thank you so much cutiepie :D

Anonymous said: aaWWWWWWEEHHHH i knew this was coming >////< !! i was so glad for Y/N and Kookie until "wait.. whY IS SHE HAVING A CHILD WHEN THEY AREN'T MARRIED" xD. Keep up the good work Sara!! -holoAnon

Hahaha don’t worry it was just a little accident! Even if Jungkook were to never marry Y/N, I’m sure their relationship would still be a solid, loving and caring one ^^ for all three of them! :D thank you so much holoAnon! :D

Anonymous said: I'm so happy that Joonie is finally at peace with the notion of being a vampire, and the way Y/N told Tae about how Yoongi was happy in his own little world with Tae and their parents was so incredibly heartwarming and what made it even better was what that meant to Tae, and I just ugh. This chapter made me soft. Like Yoongi's gummy smile soft. Thank you for always writing such amazing stories.

Yes - I was excited to reveal why Namjoon was the way he was, so that everyone could understand him better. I felt that this chapter was the best time to do that as the other chapters before the ball kind of painted him in a negative light. But he always had a heart full of gold c: YOONGI’S GUMMY SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING EVER HE SHOULD ALWAYS SMILE LIKE THAT :D hehe~ aww thank you so much and you’re welcome for the story dear ^^

@kookietaejimin said: hi!!! do you know how long iwsy is going to be?

Next week MIGHT be the last chapter but I don’t know yet - sorry! ^^

@the-golden-jhope said: OH MY GOD MY HEART HURTS THIS IS SO CUTE I ALMOST CRIED JUNGKOOK IS LITERALLY THE SWEETEST MAN ON EARTH

HE IS SO SWEET WE ALL DESERVE VAMPIRE PRINCES CALLED JUNGKOOK I

@mysr3 said: "Will you Marry me?"u warm n tortured my heart at the same time for this cliff hanging 😍does this mean IWSY almost over?😖Saraaa how can u managed to b more awesome n amazing than u already r hmm?😘this Ch is so touching! Luv how u mentioned Yoongi~just so sweet n meaningful gosh😍hv to find Prince Jungkook for me asap. The whole thing is well laid out, characters interaction, decisions n everything is on point since the beginning of this series. U genius Girl!Thank you so much! I love U❤️❤️❤️ (cont.) Sry ps Namjoon is such moral character n Y/N's new demeanor is goddess. Am I smelling smut coming next wk hehehe🤔😝

Warming and torturing is something I love doing :D hehe~ IWSY is almost over, yes :( But fear not! I plan on doing a spin off for Tae and Jimin in the future (maybe like 2-3 chapters) on how their relationship formed way before Y/N met Jungkook :D For those of you who love Vampire VMIN! ^^ Thank you for loving the layout and the plot - you warmed my heart in return :D I love you too and thank you so much my dear!! ;3

@adhewitt said: YAY MARRIAGE

YAY WEDDING BELLS

Anonymous said: Gaaaahhh!!! I was waiting for this 😭 I'm crying, will this be a happy ending already? -anonph13

Thank you for waiting for it my love! :3 and a happy ending certainly looks likely, doesn’t it? ^^ hehe :3 Thank you for reading!

@noceurash said: I LOVE YOU!! [sweet chapters like this make my heart so happy hghg] i hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow and i love you!!! ~~~ your writing continues to be so great and i love it. <3

I LOVE YOU TOO!! Awww I’m so happy that it make your heart happy! You’re so cute you literally said i love you twice i swear to god I live for pure lil beans like you :3 I hope you’ll have a fantastic day too!! :3

@jynxy24 said: The ending made me cry god!!!!

Awwwww I hope they were tears of happiness!!

Anonymous said: Wow. This last IWSY update was so pure and beautiful. I love it.

Thank you so much my love :3 I’m really happy that you liked it!~

@koreaisanaddiction said: great chapter. one of my theories were correct. the one about namjoon. but the one about the baby was wrong. i realized i thought about it in the eyes of human logic not vampiric. oh well better luck next time for me i guess.

Thank you for thinking it was great! And yay! one out of two isn’t bad at all heh ^^ Don’t worry dear, I’m still really happy you enjoyed it :)

Anonymous said: Is it bad that I'm actually really completely genuinely satisfied with the ending of chapter 29 of ISWY? and that it would be completely fine if you just stopped the series right there? I dunno, but the way you wrote this chapter, it doesn't make me feel the need to question anything. Sara, you ended it perfectly and now, you're turning me from a loyal maknae-line stan to a namjoon stan. That.... not many people can do. *applauds* Anyways, I love you, take care, and keep writing! <3 - army anon

Awwwww that’s so freaking sweet I CAN’T guh ~~~ I’m legit crying at your message right now, seriously :( haha OKAY I’m good~ lol Well it looks like right now there will be one more chapter to go, but I’m not completely sure or decided yet. There’s still one or two things I’d like to include to wrap things up once and for all :3 AND OMG NAMJOON SNATCHED YOU?! Uh oh..makenae line is gonna have to step up their game if they want you back :3 I love you too and thank you so much for being so kind to me always, you have no idea how happy and cheerful it makes me :)

@min-ty said: SARA OMG THE CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD I say this every week but I find it absolutely necessary that I do BUT SHOOK THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS STORY INTO MY LIFE

Hahahah it’s okay I will still appreciate it 100% no matter how many times you might say it! Seriously :) THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY because it makes me so incredibly happy :) Thank you thank you thank you ^^

@ananyak26 said: OMG OMGOMG! Part 29 !!!! Yea the last line was soooo adorable!I'm fangirling right nowxD.(Obviously the chapter was good too but the last line oh god!) Great jooobbb!!

Ahhhh yes the last line! Wedding bells!! :3 hehe thank you my lovely, I’m so glad you enjoyed the chapter :3

Anonymous said: u don't know how excited i am when it comes to tuesday!!! i'm so in love w ur iwsy series that i almost literally ran home today to read chapter 29!!!! i really love your readings and please don'r ever stop writing 😢😢💜

I’m so happy that you get excited when Tuesdays come! You’re so cute hehe :D Thank you so much and don’t worry, I won’t ever stop writing! ^^

Anonymous said: IWSY lmao idek what to say anymore it's been like 6 months HAHA I've been reading since the first chapter rolled out its like watching my kid grow up HAHA thank you for writing such a good series have a good week ! -eggyook (cont.) --eggyook  Forgot to say, good luck for your exams !! You can do it :)))

Ahhh thank you for sticking with the story for such a long time! And yeah I feel you, I feel like IWSY has been a huge part of my life and the world has come alive for me this entire time xD Like I’ve kind of been living there in my mind hehe^^ Thank you so much my love and I’ll try my best of my exams! I hope you have a good week too :D

@lostheretics said: petition to make a better life for namjun pls sign it for him he's just a sMol bEan istg T_T it's aLMOST ENDING!!!!   or is it not............*dead af*

Awwwwh don’t worry he’ll have a good like with Y/N and the Jeon’s! And yes, it’s absolutely almost ending :(

Anonymous said: Another great chapter of IWSY but why do I feel like it is coming to an end 😢😢😢

Thank you my love! And yes you’re right - it’s coming to an end :( 30 weeks is a looooong time!

Anonymous said: ahhh bittersweet feeling about I won't stop you like everything is fine now yay and can't wait for the baby but it's gonna end soon I'm so sad

Yes I feel the same way to be honest! IWSY feels like my baby and it’s all grown up now haha c:

Anonymous said: is it just me or is part 29 shorter ??? oh my gosh I can't get enough of it T.T I honestly think after the end of the series you should gather all the chapters and make it into a story book. it's way too good!! -bunnykookie96

Hiya love! Hmmm well it’s the same length as any other chapter really :3 Possibly because it’s just drawing to an end that one might feel like it’s shorter :(  I actually would really love to do that but I have no idea how lol :c Anyway, thank you so much for reading the new chapter my deary!! :3

Anonymous said: I have trust issues because of u its just too fluffy 🤔 Also do you have back dimples ?  And last but not least I can smell a smut coming soon :))) --wifey anon 🐇

I guess I’ll just have to prove you wrong! :3 And yes - I do have back dimples - fun fact, they are referred to as “Dimples of Venus” heh c: I put it in because, well, I just wanted to ;D thank you so much my love and I hope you have a good day/night! :3

Anonymous said: SARA IS IT JUST ME OR YOURE QUOTING PRINCESS DIARIESNSJSJSKSJSNS

I have no idea what a princess diaries is o.o Sorry! :(

[basketballdorama-blog]

May 29th, 2017

The phone rang. 

“Come home today?”

Knowing the fact that this was probably gonna be a boring monday anyway I quickly typed my response:

“Maybe~~~yeah”

Blondie, my best friend, had recently moved by himself ten blocks away from my own home and i still hadn’t payed him a visit. I dressed myself with whatever within an arm length ratio, kissed my cat goodbye, and started my journey. Lipsincing my Kpop playlist as i walked, that one time Blondie tried to kiss me came to my mind. I don’t know why, that shit happened like 4 years ago, we were always great friends and stayed like that, he didn’t even bat an eye when I slept with his friend Lith, in fact he usually made fun of me for that. I don’t blame him, that kid was a blockhead, worst mistake of my life...anyway, by the time I finally found the address, he was already waiting for me at the door.  

“Welcome to my sanctuary, darling <3″ 

“Bitch, it’s huge!” 

And it was. A long kitchen with space enough for a small table which of course he didn’t have yet (and I doubt he will, ever), two couches and a 42″ smart tv on the living room and the best part, two rooms, one in front of the other, all for himself, he didn’t even want a roommate. 

“I know, I love it. Pour you some coffee?” 

“Yas, please.” 

He heated it in a big ass casserole, note to self: buy him a coffeemaker, and served me some. It was cold and tasted like shit. 

“you got somth to tell me, speak” - I started the conversation without hesitation.

“What? Oh, yeah, Lisa” - His, for now, girlfriend - “I don’t know girl, i’m pretty much done. She pretty much called me all the words for shitty person in the english language for some stupid thing i told her she was wrong on. She acts like a 5 year old, I cant with her.” 

“Man, i don’t know. I know you love her but she is quite impossible to speak to...”

“Well she does prefer virtual friends over real ones, it’s not easy for her. But she is already 26 years old dammit, get over it! Well, the thing is, I love her, but if she doesn’t change her attitude a little I can’t think of too much future with her.”

“Bummer...whatever man, she is so lucky to have you. I hope she realizes that soon enough”

The conversation went on in different directions until we got to the couch and started playing League of Legends. I love seeing how he gets mad af when he loses, he almost broke his mouse this time. 

“So, how’s Red? Haven’t seen him in a while.”- Maybe talking about his friends would calm him down. 

“I can tell him to come if you want, he would never miss the way I’m bombing this shi- HOW THE HELL DID SHE DO THAT?A LULU CAN’T KILL ME LIKE THAT AND YASUO DIED AGAIN ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?”

“HAHAHAHA, yeah, make that happen. I want to see that fatass again.”

He arrived quite quickly and i rushed to hug him like old times. 

“OMG you are so ugly! I missed you fatass! What’s with that beard?” - We always talked insulting each other, friendship goals.

“Shut up you Hobbit. Here, eat this stupid chocolate I brought for ya.”- Such a cutiepie as always. 

Actually, Red wasn’t ugly at all, he had lost weight and had grown a full face beard that really suited him. All in all he was quite cute. 

We chilled on the couch laughing at Blondie’s screams of anger as we caught up with our life news. We were pretty much the same. Last time I saw him he was breaking up with his girlfriend, he was single now, worked in the same place and still played basketball in the same basketball court I had met him about 7 years ago.

“Hey Blondie! I saw the new pirates of the caribbean trailer and the effects are dope af, we have to go see it.”

“Let’s! It’s already in cinemas, put a date to it” - I replied, shamelessly including myself in the plan - “I have a discount on Village Cinema”

“Me too! Blondie, you have the most fucked up schedule, you put the date.”

“How ‘bout today? I work at 12 a.m. if we catch something before 10 p.m. it’s fine for me.”

We got tickets for 8 p.m. Red bought them as he insisted in inviting us. 

The movie was crap and ended in a cliffhanger, a 6th movie, seriously? We were already standing, waiting for the post credit scenes. Blondie went up a couple of steps so I hugged Red and we commented on how we hated the movie and probably Blondie loved it as he loved all bad movies. 

“It’s nice this came out. Good to see you again. And btw, you ain’t ugly. You actually turned out pretty cute.”

“Shut up, Hobbit...You cute”

And it all went to shit from there. 

We stopped by for fast food, Blondie wasn’t hungry so I suggested buying for Red too and pay for the cinema. 

“You don’t have to pay for anything, I invited you so I buy!”

“Shut your hole”- I snapped giving the cashier my card. 

“See this 20? It will end up in your pocket anyway”

“Put it back, you idiot!”

The discussion continued until the food was served. As we ate we talked about random stuff as I realised something...I wanted to kiss Red.I don’t know why, I don’t know how, I just had the urge...shit, okay let’s roll with it. I figured, if I can get him to walk me home after Blondie goes, I can make a move...that mtherfucker is shy af he will never make a move on me, even if he wanted to...I will have to be quite blunt.

“Blonds, what are you taking for work?”

“I don’t know, my bus card doesn’t have any money left and i don’t know where to charge.”

“I’ll give you mine!” - Perfect - “Red, how ‘bout you?” 

“Well, I live a little past your neighbourhood so how ‘bout we take the bus, I’ll pay for your ticket with my card.” - Not quite what I figured but it was okay, i could make my move while waiting at the bus stop. 

We headed outside. It was fucking cold, I was freezing. 

“Hey, Frodo, want my jacket? I’m not cold I’ll just put it on so that I don’t have to carry it”

“Ok, bring it.” - It was huge on me, It’s length reached my knees, I put it around me like a blanket and walked. 

We left Blondie at the bus stop and headed towards ours. I took this opportunity to grab his arm and stood close to him. 

“Red, we are, like, literally 6 blocks away from my stop, why don’t we walk?”

“As you want, girl, I don’t wanna sound like a cheap ass saying we should walk”

“Ugh, let’s go”- This time I grabbed him by the hand, this was just perfect. 

We never let go in all the way, he ended up walking me all the way to my place, stating that he would walk home as well. The last three blocks were the key. I rubbed my thumb on his hand on small strokes and put my body near him, resting my head on his shoulder...as we walked...yeah, bad idea, but I still maintained my closeness after realizing that. 

“We are here, this is it”

“This is your home? Classy bitch!”

“Shut up idiot!”- I returned his jacket. C’mon, do something. I gave you the signs, do it. 

“It was nice to see you again, girl. Let’s do it more often” - We hugged for the last time. He wasn’t gonna do it. It’s now or never.

 “Say, Red.” - I grabbed him by his now-on-his-body jacket and bit my lip 

“Wha?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” - His response was quick and dry, as if he had been waiting for me to say that all night. 

I couldn’t think, I had no time for it. I didn’t even wait for him to crouch a little. I just went full on my tiptoes and kissed him. And it was the most awkward teenage kiss ever, suddenly I was 14 again, but in a good way. I could feel he moved his arm as if he was going to hug me, but he put it right back to his place, he didn’t even move, so cute. When my feet got tired, I stopped. There wasn’t even tongue it was just a teenager drama light hearted kiss.

“Sorry, I just felt like it”

“Don’t apologize. Thank you,” - He smiled from ear to ear. That motherfucker wanted it too but was too shy to make a move, dumbass. 

I opened the door in total disbelief, said goodbye and watched him go (He actually thanked me one more time). And that is how I was stucked in a Drama for a full afternoon. 

By the way, did I mention that Blondie actually works at a haunted building? that night he had an affair with a bride looking ghost, I hope the best for them, anything but Lisa works for me.

[tumblunni]

HEYO! oh man now my friend helped me get all inspired again for working on my Cathedral Tower Defense game so WOO lets have another long post of miscellaneous ideasies for storyness! may not be very coherant tho cos i am super tired and ill! but happy!! THANKS SUMMON-DAZE FOR BEING MY ULTRA BESTIE

* Okay now I am super sure that I’m gonna let you choose the gender of the protagonist! And I wanna keep it so that their name is Amity either way, cos that’s kinda stuck in my mind. Surname Amity, player gets to decide the first name, but people will still be calling you Amity a lot at first cos you start off all awkward and formal with everybody. You’re a newcomer to this cathedral town and nobody knows whether to trust you, from their perspective you’re this dangerous person theyre forced to accept just because they need you to help protect them, whether you’re good or bad. They’re all worried what price they might have to pay for this, trying to figure out how to minimize the damage if you turn on them... and its not like they’re bad people for being untrustworthy, they’re just scared people huddling in a church and trying to keep their families safe at any cost. So try and prove your worth to them, and help them learn to protect themselves too, and make this ramshackle settlement into a real home! ....anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, gender selection is a good! And it could be relatively easy to impliment too, cos of the situation. Doesnt even necessarily have to be a menu or anything, it could just be like sir amity/lady amity/master amity. Cos you’re this paladin knighto, itd make sense for them to ask for your title. And it could just be like a shot of protagonist’s badass silhouette in the gateway of the cathedral and then you get the dialogue choice to pick your identity, and its all Super Cool~!

* It also actually gives me more of an idea of what i could do for their design, like I dunno maybe they have some sort of face-concealing helm or headdress or something. I was just thinking of them being dressed like a generic nun or princess but maybe emphasize more on the knight aspect instead of the holy part? So like anyway, maybe they have a very all-concealing outfit and that could be the framing of the first scene instead, its like *pulls off the mask and you’re into the character selection screen* Orrrrrr maybe there doesnt need to be any magical setup for a gender selection and it can just be a menu before the first scene starts XD Or maybe you have a cool face-concealing helmet thing anyway, like all three gender options just have a different one, lol

* More random magical names i got via the cool name generator site summon-daze linked to me! Dunno if I’ll actually use any of these but im writing them down here so i dont forget. Berebath, Betnia, Amurziz, Jetre, Miemahl, Semdach, Batxahl, Sidefarch, Botolohn, Vausach, Thammoch, Droibhal, Lekonach, Zeidhal, Tieloch, Rabrohm, Maesur, Smoiroch, Baelbuhr, Axoth, Jige, Chushou, Hukru, Nejeget, Roucu,  Jinah, Aujus, Yekoth, Nugresah, Israfel, Jabriel, Tabris, Douma

* Also I’m remembering Jade Cocoon and how I liked that the different ‘families’ of monsters shared naming traits. Like how all those weird snake/slug cutiepies that i loved best were nushab, rashab, etc etc. And tamatoch and somethingtoch and so on. I think there was at least one where the modifier was a prefix too? I dunno why i’m talking about this, but there you go. I just think if i wanna do full original made up names for demon species then i wanna make em stuff that just... feels like that. I dont actually wanna make like five different elements of each one tho, i wanna have only one per element and then they have like two different higher level finalized forms. Like, the human characters can have two job classes each and the demons can have two specializations within an element. That helps me think about how to limit it down to four or five elements, if we can combine common fantasy elements together! And yeah I was thinking it’d be cool if the demon ‘job classes’ could have their own evolving appearances and new names!

* Thoughts for the ol elemental groupings! The only one I really have finalized is grass + poison = same thing. Florin, why u always the character that gets developed faster than everyone else XD And I’m thinking giving them their own made up names would make it easier! Like how in SMT you have spells being stuff like ‘media’ and ‘agi’ instead of cure and fire. But here (hopefully) it’d be easier to memorize cos its just the element names that’re fantasy words, and the attacks themselves would be a little more self explanatory. i just think it’d work cos like... the idea i had of rock and fire being one single demon type, you could just call that magma. But i mean, what can you call plant + poison? Except.. like.. plant. Cos poison is reasonably often a grass type skill anyway. And i mean, game creators dont often worry about making sense, what with how ‘grass’ is the common element name when thats just one plant in a million. I cant stop thinking about that now I’ve noticed it! I legit thought grass was a synonym for plant when i was a kid, i learned to read from pokemon yellow... ANYWAY IM GETTING OFFTOPIC AGAIN The other idea I had for groupings was fire + non-elemental together? I was just thinking like... aura. Non elemental/physical attack as a ‘magic’ could be fighting spirit! And thematically speaking it tends to be shown as fire effects in anime, i guess XD But then i couldnt put fire with rock and that means I’d have to redesign malachi again. his design ended up looking more firey than rocky :P Another idea is maybe darkness + non-elemental together? like, interpret non-elemental as ‘void’. Or light and dark could be together actually, that could be an interesting way to do it, instead of having them opposing. Like maybe the elements could be colours! Grey element, able to specialize into white or black but neither is any sort of ‘good and evil’. And then the rest could be like green or like.. instead of red maybe fire could be bronze and thats why it has rock skills too? or man, maybe rock and metal could be one element and fire could be grouped with something else. And would water and ice be too ordinary and boring? do they already kinda count as one element? should I throw in something else? GAHHHHHHH

* Ideas for the multiple religious groups aligned with each element! I’m thinking I want one of them to interpret the setting’s absent god as two deities. like, every perspective on this deity is a wildly different character, this one is just even more so! they’d see malahat (tentative name) as two people, but kinda more like a shared soul that can manifest as either a male or female form. But there’d be ambiguity and debates in the mythos over whether this is actually a genderfluid god, or if its ‘twins who were cursed to never exist at the same time’, or various other variations on the story. I wanna make it like real life, where even within (for example) catholocism, there’s different sects and different translations of the same text. And where there’s predjudice against minority groups and people like to twist their faith to ‘justify’ it, even when parts of the original tale could easily justify treating those people with kindness too. So there’d be some followers of the twins religion who are very openminded to LGBTQ people, and historically anyone trans was able to hold a unique position as a priest, being treated as someone blessed by god. But like in norse mythology, this wasnt necessarily a sign that society was 100% okay with LGBTQ people. Its kinda depressing to read about how trans women and gay men were considered the only people able to become a specific kind of witches, but also how you kinda HAD to take this one safety net in society to stop people from making you an outcast. It was like ‘make them fear me so they dont fuckin kill me’. You had to become a medicine person and at least claim to believe in these magic powers, you had to be blessed by the gods to prove you were like.. one of the good ones. Otherwise its like youre saying the gods made a mistake when they made you, or youre choosing to be a deviant against nature. i can only imagine how terrifying it must have been if you believed in that religion and had to like.. be forced to go against it and leave society, or be forced to lie about being chosen by a god for a higher purpose, while believing that any moment you might get struck down for lying. And then I read in other history books about how the concept of homosexuality was far different in that old society too, how male-on-male sex was accepted at sea as long as you were the dominant one and you were forcing something unwanted onto a lesser shipmate as punishment. Like ugh, rape being more socially accepted than consensual LGBTQ relationships! I guess the only solace is that we can never be 100% sure how much of historians’s theories are correct and what might have changed in retellings of history, but honestly I can believe the past is this fucked up when the present is already fucked up in different ways. BUT ANYWAY I wanna explore those themes in my story maybe. And I wanna do more research into the subject to make sure I’m doing it justice, even though its a very sad subject that might be quite stressful. Maaaaan, I remember how I used to obsess about researching norse myth as a kid, it was one of my first Special Interests and I really wanted to see all the different reinterpretations of Loki and write my own fanfic/adaptation/vaguely inspired original story about What If He Stayed A Good Guy. Man I had soooo much sympathy for the poor sod. I mean it depends on the retelling whether he was always evil or whether he was like a comedic neutral ally to the gods who just abruptly becomes evil and gets killed off without remorse in the final story. And gahhh he’s like the biggest LGBTQ bastion in the whole mythos, and how can I not feel sympathetic?? When we get all these stories about him being a literal genderfluid shapeshifter and giving birth to half of his children and just like seriously its like The Story Of the One Trans Man In Homophobic Transphobic Valhalla and he was probably meant to seem Bad and Funny and whatever but im gonna sit here and grumpily cling onto the idea that he was deliberately written as trans, or that if these gods actually do exist out there somewhere then Loki would support me. *pout* I just have a lot of good memories of how this was like the first sign of me realizing my own gender, back when I first learned about Loki in school and then devoured every damn history book about the dude. And got in a million internet pissing matches about how innacurate the marvel version was XD Also it sucks that we like to believe that modern times are always 100% more enlightened in every way, yet its modern adaptations that always censor out the bits about him shifting gender identities and getting pregnant once. ... man this has gone offtopic too much, im really tired but seriously its funny how teenage bunni had NO CLUE they were nonbinary, no clue why they got so obsessed researching gender-defying mythological figures and historians who created gender neutral pronouns in the 1800s. i was so supernaturally oblivious, holy shit...

[theoldgaylion]

Black Sails for the fandom one! :)

001 | Black Sails

Favorite character: arghh it’s hard to answer at this one ç__ç but I’ll say Flint (it’s a little predictable, right??): I know it’s a charatcer with so many flaws but I love his background and his willpower.. He suffered so much and I wish he could find peace at the end of this long journey.. *hugs him tight*

Least Favorite character: in season 1-2 I’d have said Eleanor’s dad, Richard Guthrie, but now I hate Woodes Rogers, literally

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Silverflint, of course, then Jack/Anne, Eleanor/Vane, Max/Eleanor and Anne/Max/Jack

Character I find most attractive: Flint, again, because I have a weakness for gingers (damn, his beard…..his green eyes… and can we talk about his broad chest?? *ugh* and don’t forget dat booty)

Character I would marry: definitely Jack, he’s a sassy cutiepie who had my heart since I heard him speak for the first time ❤

Character I would be best friends with: mmh idk.. Maybe Silver, because he’s a Little Shit™ and me too.. Soooo…. :3

a random thought: this season will tear my heart apart we’re all gonna die

An unpopular opinion: I like Madi, but I can’t stand her relationship with Silver.. It bothers me a little, but I know Silver needs her for the charactcer development 

my canon OTP: Jack/Anne please let them live happily after all the shit they’ve been through please please pleeease 

Non-canon OTP: Silverflint *i will go down with this ship* (but i hope they make it canon even only in the last episode??)

most badass character: Anne fucking Bonny, I LOVE HER SO MUCH I CAN’T, she’s the queen of my everything ç^ç 

pairing I am not a fan of: Silver/Madi (and the OT3 with Flint)

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Eleanor.. I liked her, but from season 3 I can’t suffer her.. He betrayed all for what?? :/ And her relationship with the Governor was sooo obvious that when they kiss each other for the first time I was like “ugh, really?? I did see that coming”

favourite friendship: Jack/Vane.. Their hug made me cry like a baby *sigh* they’re like brothers, I can’t

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: I WANT TO ADOPT JAAACK (even if previously I’ve said I would marry him… Just idc, i love him b y e)

Thank you so much! 

[lernend-blog]

I’ve been tagged by @unicorn-studying days ago (thanks a lot :3) and I finally came around to do this - yay !

Tagging: @studyoftattoos , @julepstudies and everyone else that’d like to do it! Tag me so I can see your answers :3

♡ 5 things in my bag

my purse

my bujo

a book or manga (currently manga - detektiv conan yay)

water

phone charger

♡ 5 things in my pencil case

2 mildliners (colors change like my mood...so a lot)

pencil and eraser

1 roll of washi tape (currently it’s a gold one)

USB Stick 

correction tape

♡ 5 things about myself 

Since I’m on university I’m actually motivated to study (i was really lazy back in highschool)

I love reading even tho I didn’t read enough the past few years (thanks internet)

I can be super optimistic when it comes to my friends but I’m super pessimistic with everything concerning myself.

I spent 10 months working as a volunteer in Belgium

I looooove cats and dogs but I have neither, sad face 

♡ 5 fave playlist 2016 (I’m listing artists bc that’s easier)

Everything by Halsey bc Halsey

Broods - check them out they’re great!

Bastille - i love their new album so much ugh i’m so sad i didn’t get tickets for their concert

The Hamilton Soundtrack - it’s. so. good. ahh.

 Also Tom Odell my cutiepie i love you

♡ 5 fave studying apps

I tried many but I don’t use any of them anymore I’m so sorry omg. 

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 29.09.17 lb

UGH I’M SOOOOOOOOO DEPRESSED GAURI’S NOT HEREEEEEE. IT SHOULDA BEEN BULBUL DECKING UP BHAUJAI AND CHATTERING UP A STORM 

what even is this entire outfit??? the bangles don’t even match the joda, like.... is shirali colour blind? 

AND RED JEWELS ON THE OTHER JEWELRY, LIKE... 

idhar toh these three are looking like murgas ready to go into the oven for roasting. ouff. thank god for their faces being attractive. 

does it really take two helpers to make sure your jacket is on justtttt right??? i mean, it’s a jacket. there’s no WRONG way to be wearing it. 

my heart is bursting at shivaay fixing up the other two though. such a dad he is. i love dad!shivaay the MOST. 

are these dadi and pinky's outfits for the day? so saaada and... like, they’re more dressed up on normal days than this??

ugh this damned nonsense golden ghoongat from the band baaja badhaiyaan wedding... this whole outfit would have looked waaay better without it. ouff i can’t. i just fucking can’t. why do they do my girl dirty like this????

shivaay’s like NOOOOOO UGUISE DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH TRAITOR MOM I NEED OM TO BE STANDING BEHIND ME SHOOTING LASERS FROM HIS EYES AT HER

aaaaaaaand he’s instantly gone into defensive mode, crossing his arms and looking away.

um, is that just one of anika’s maang tikas? i definitely feel like it is. i’m about... 96% sure. 

ok that starting bit was just kunal and lee joshing around. i loveee. my cutiepies.

“jab woh mere baare mein nahi soch rahi, main kyun sochoon?” 

oh and what about all the months she spent thinking ONLY about you??? did you think of her then? boy, fuck outta here. don’t make me come in there and kick your butt on a day you’re looking particularly fine. 

was that foreshadowingggggg????? 

oh god i’d forgotten about this ghoongat waali aafat. kaun hai be yeh? 

abhay’s here to be best buds with sahil. 

did anyone else have a panic attack seeing haldi-covered abhay sit on the white couch??? i know i did. #adulting #responsibleHomeowner

ok abhay’s fucking adorable. he’s handling sahil super well. *hugs my two cute boys* 

god now i want sumo to come back and get with abhay you guyz. they’d be sooooooo stinking cute with each other, can you even imagine?!?!!? OMGGGGGGGGG MY HEART IS BURSTING INTO RAINBOWS JUST AT THE THOUGHT!!!! #abhYa

abhay’s waaaaaaay too efficient for this show. like... we’re not used to someone being so productive and on top of things like this since the time anika left the wedding planning thing. 

omg abhay is male!Anika 

oh thank god, not “ho gayi teri balle balle” playing for the entry as shown in the BTS from jankee’s insta story. 

OK WHAT THE FUCK ANIKA’S WEDDING JODA IS THE SAME THING JHANVI’S WEARING BUT IN ANOTHER COLOUR?!!?!? COME THE FUCK ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I AM SO MAD RN

heart eyessssssssss motherfuckerrrrr

om’s smug grin in bg is best. 

lmao he almost fell overrrrrrr. idiot. 

OK WALK FASTER ASSHOLES, WE’VE BEEN WAITING FUCKING 4 MONTHS FOR THIS JUST... GET MARRIED ALREADY

aaaaaaaaand power cut? 

oh no, sorry. romantic moment where they’re the only two in the world.

EH? SUCH A RANDOM FLASHBACK OF THE CHAKKU DAYS??? 

ok the flashbacks are really ruining everything. it should have just been them staring at each other with heart eyes. 

haaaaaaaaye. 💖💖💖💖

OH GOD LONGEST WALK TO MANDAP EVERRRRRRRRRR

OK PLEASE STOP PLAYING OH JAANA OVER AND OVER AND OVER!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!

oufffff this is boring af (just like real life weddings) just get the wedding done withhhhhhhhhhhh

IT SHOULDA BEEN GAURI DOING THE GATTBANDHAN I AM CRYING TEARS OF BLOOD RN I AM I AM 😭😭😭😭😭

lmao dadi’s lil smack on billu’s face and anika giggling at it. such cute. 

LET THE KID DO THE DAMN KANYADAAN, PANDIT!!!!!!!!

um shakti? hi??? you were all MY BETI MY BETI up to two days ago, what happened to that??? 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS OMRU STEP UP!!!

but like... omRu are also younger than her??? they’re also her kid brothers, so... why not just let sahil do it? it’s the same thing??? 

ok whatever, i’m not sweating it too much, just give me all the fucking feels. 

shivaay and anika are this close to tears. WELL, TOO LATE FOR ME COZ IM ALREADY CRYING BISH 😭😭😭😭

lol omRu’s warning. 

ok but what i really wanna see is shivaay issue this warning to om re: gauri. 

MAN, WHO IS THIS USELESS FUCKING GHOONGAT FEMALE? 

omg i just saw the bottom half of anika’s joda and.... fuck. no. just... NO. 

OH GREAT MANGALAM BHAGWAN VISHNU AGAIN. i’ve heard this song enough timesssssssss from this show to last me this life and the next. and the next. 

sincerely hoping this is my 7th janam and i don’t have to enter the realm of human existence again though. 

pffffffffffffft, throwing the message in a paper ball, bitch does this look like 7th grade to you????? 

OH BOY SHIVAAY DON’T STOP THE PHEREEEEEEEEEEE 

aaaaaaaand paper ball’s been ignored. good. 

ooooh interesting, om’s having flashbacks to his own wedding. 

FUCK YOU RUDRA, HAVE FLASHBACKS TO YOUR WEDDING WITH SUMO YOU ABOMINABLE SHITHEAD

ok angsty/sad flashbacks and happy smiles and happy music are just... not a good match. 

new mangalsutra??? 

damn, i am so unexpectedly emotional right now??? it’s a silly tellywood wedding but i feel like it’s the wedding of someone really close to me and i feel all teary and shiz. my babies. 😥😥😥😥

FUCKING FINALLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY. JESUS CHRIST. ITNA ANTICIPATION AUR EMOTIONAL INVOLVEMENT TOH MUJHE APNI KHUD KI SHAADI MEIN BHI NAHI HOGA. 

“bhaiyya, keep it in your pants.” 

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP DADI THEY’RE MARRIED NOW THEY CAN FUCK ON THE MANDAP IF THEY WANT JUST BUZZ OFF

yeah ok ok enough emotional dialoguebaazi. go to your room and fucking bang now. come on. literally the only thing we’re still here for. chop chop.

“MERA HAQ HAI HUG KA AND PLEASE YEH DO FEET WAALA RULE KHATAM HO CHUKA HAI....”

billu don’t give a fuckkkkkkkkkkk who knows how thirsty he is to get it on with his wife. 

also lmao, did he just flip the bird???? 

abhay’s already encroaching upon rudra’s family photographer role. 

hein??? what’s this weird moment outside??? go do this in your room??? 

... ok stop shoving the water at each other, unless this is going to turn into another water war. 

SHIVAAY YOU STUPID BITCH TELL HER ALREADY FUCKIN HELL 

SHE ALREADY TOLD YOU OMG DON’T MAKE ME COME BEAT IT OUTTA YOU

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OK DADI NEEDS TO FUCKING DIE NOW

lmaooooooo billu’s rage at dadi hahahahahaha

wow, allll of billu’s lifelong resentments at dadi are phoot phoot ke coming out today.

yes please dadi, die already. i won’t stand for you cockblocking rikara this way. 

anika’s like omg everyone stfu about dying please. 

family photuuuuuu time. 

where’s rudra?

YES SHIVAAY, ASK FOR GAURI. ASKKKKKK FOR YOUR SISTER!

omg ommmmm imma kill you. 

why’s rudra standing away??? 

lmao i loveeee chubby. he’s so me. like why do people ask us things that we can’t possibly have the answer to??? hum kya antaryaami hai? 

eeeee shivaay pulling anika closer. such cute. 

chubby, that’s a useless warning. you just know he’s going to go be stupid. stupid is his default setting. 

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO SHIVAAY WISHING EVERYONE GOOD NIGHT AND BEELINING FOR THE ROOM. 

god just give your damn aashirwaad and fuck offf, old ppl.

“kaash dadi humein gift of privacy deti.” 

lolololololol

ohhhhhhhhhhhh boy. billu not even jhuking for pinky. 

oooh, she’s relinquishing the khaandaani kangan.

OUFF BILLU SHUT UP NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, ANIKA DESERVES THIS, COULD YOU JUST LET HER HAVE THIS MOMENT

wow even tej is advocating for pinky. bande ne jo u-turn maari hai personality mein... matlab, amaze only. 

billu dadi cuteness. GIMME MY GIFTTT!!!!!!!!!

lolololol dadi’s gift is their phones back. 

methinks billu needs to get a room with his phone first. 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhhhh boy. bhavya’s wedding is going to go for a toss. 

can’t fucking believe bhavya got a better joda than anika. imma killllll someone. 

begaani shaadi mein roohafza gatakne se kya hona hai, rudra? 

seeing all these ruvya scenes in the flashback for the first time, since i’ve fwded nearly everrrrryyyy scene of theirs. 

how does om know that THAT’s the person gauri messaged??? like???? 

OMG OM USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN. SHE GOT INSULTED FOR NOT KNOWING ENGLISH. SHE STARTED ACTING CAGEY. YOU’RE IN FRONT OF AN ENGLISH CLASS. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU, IDIOT????

i really really want bhavya to marry manav. i really really do. 

.... that wasn’t rudra’s voice was it??? 

rudra body double alert. 

ohhhhhh boyyyy, ommm. 

pffft, scene stolen from jab we met. 

also look at our boy here, hotel clerk. doesn’t he look like a virile young stud who could go all day? 😏😏😏

“lekin ladki kahan hai???”  “woh bhi aa jayegi.” 

OMFG HIS WINKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK 

god, he’s paying by card???? for this shadyyyyass hotel? boy why??? this is gonna go on your statement!

FIRST OFF, HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT GUY’S NAME?? LIKE FUCK, EVEN I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS “ARJUN” AND I’VE ALREADY MET HIM. SECOND, GAURI IS A VERY, VERYYYYYYYYYY COMMON NAME. 

OMFG OMKARA

ok rudra has fucking lost it too. FUCKING HELL. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU LOSERS?!?!?!?!?! 

get him kickedddd outtttt bhavya. 

MISOGYNY AND LIES TO THE MAX. AMAZING. FUCKING AMAZING. 

PHYSICALLY??????????????? BITCH PLEASE. YOU WISH. 

COMMISSIONER COULD YOU OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH AND TELL HIM IT WAS A MISSION??!?!?!?!? 

WHAT HAPPENED KAL????? 

SLAP HIM BHAVYA SLAP THE FUCKING FUCK OUTTA HIM

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BOHUTTTTTT PEHLE KARNE CHAHIYE THA

bachpan se isse shivaay ne thapad maar maar ke bada kiya hota toh yeh aaj aisa nahi hota 

like, what the fuck did he even expect pulling a shitty stunt like that??? he’s lucky officer dad and manav didn’t just shoot his stupid ass dead. or get him arrested. 

wait... what? shivaay’s missing??!?!? AGAIN?!?!??! SOMEONE PUT A FUCKING GPS TRACKER ON THIS MAN. 

PLEASE TELL ME THEY BANGED. 

OR WAIT, LET THEM NOT HAVE. I CAN’T DEAL WITH A POSSIBLE ‘PREGNANT WHILE HUBS IS MISSING’ KINDA PLOT. PLEASE. NO PREGNANCY. NO KIDS. JUST PLEASE!