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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

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Remember, Don't You Miss Us?

Prompt: hey, if you're taking requests for Sanders sides, can I request some angsty human au! familial sides? patton/janus as parents that get/have gotten divorced and (some of) the others move between houses or smth?? idk do what you want as long as its angsty with a happy ending

Thanks for the prompt, babe!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: divorced moceit at the start, they fix it, other than that you good

Pairings: parental moceit, errybody else is the kids

Word Count: 3738

The void never used to be as obvious.

Patton and Janus got divorced, their children split between the two houses. They manage to keep up appearances, but the emptiness never really goes away.

The kids decide to do something about it.

The void never used to be as obvious.

There were times when Patton would come downstairs, expecting to see at least someone else awake, perhaps Logan in the corner chair, curled around a mug of coffee and staring out the window, perhaps Roman at the table with his notebook out and his pen flying, or perhaps Virgil, just rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he tried to figure out what to do next. Remus wasn’t an early riser, but perhaps—on very rare occasions—there he would be, sprawled across the floor, playing with his toys.

But now there’s no one to make the coffee for Logan, no one to encourage Roman to write down his ideas, no one to chuckle softly at bleary little Virgil. No one to halfheartedly scold Remus for leaving his toys all over the floor.

Patton still goes to the coffee pot and turns it on, even if there are buttons on the top he doesn’t dare to touch. Logan asked him once why he refuses to change the settings, even if he doesn’t like the kind of coffee it makes. His hands had shaken too much to answer.

He still goes through all the motions of making breakfast, even if the sudden tug in his chest at the worry they won’t have enough eggs goes limp as he realizes there are only three of them in the house now. Roman asked him once why he was staring at the carton of eggs lying there on the counter. He’d shaken his head and said he was counting.

He still hesitates at the door too long when it’s time to take his kiddos to school, expecting a green blur to tug a blob of purple down the stairs so fast he worries they’re going to hurt themselves. Both Roman and Logan look at him confused when he wants to wait a little longer before taking them out to the car.

But mostly…

Mostly he misses the flash of yellow in the corner of his eye. He could never quite pull off the color, something about the way his undertones refused to cooperate or…something like that. His own wardrobe looks…smaller now, simpler. He never used to blend into the walls this much.

Mostly he misses the low voice coming from the other room, up the stairs, just over his shoulder. His own voice is too high, too bubbly to be properly sarcastic and the absence of that voice twisting words around and around and around. Or when it would soften, and oh how much he could drown in the softness.

Mostly he misses the gloved hands on his shoulder, the small of his back, around his waist, on his hips, cupping the nape of his neck. Patton hugs his kiddos all the time, but there was something about the drag of gloves against his clothes that made him tighten his hugs.

Mostly he misses waking up to someone else warm on cold nights.

The bed feels so much bigger.

No.

No, don’t go down that road, it only leads to crying and Roman and Logan trying frantically to fix it.

They couldn’t.

It wasn’t their fault, they’re kids. They didn’t deserve to have to fix these things, these were an adult’s responsibility, these were problems they wouldn’t know how to solve. It wasn’t their fault that Patton never learned when to stop pushing. It wasn’t their fault that Patton could never figure out where the lines were drawn. It wasn’t their fault that Patton could never stop crying, making it all about himself, never wanting to listen.

Patton scrubs a hand under his nose before it can start to drip.

No. No, it wasn’t their fault, it was—it is his.

It’s his fault they can’t see their brothers anymore, not like they used to.

It’s his fault their Papa went away.

It’s his fault that he couldn’t figure out how to love Janus.

But goodness, does he miss him.

———————————————

The room’s never felt this small before.

There were times when Janus would open the door and expect someone, anyone, to barrel into him before he could step over the threshold and words would tumble out, perhaps a new idea Remus had, perhaps something Virgil was worried about, perhaps Logan with a slew of new questions for him, or perhaps—if he was coming home on a night that Roman didn’t have an after-school club—it would be Roman, wrapping his arms tightly around Janus and refusing to let him go.

But now there’s no one to keep Remus supplied with new sketchbook paper, no one to sit quietly and talk through Virgil’s fears with him, no one to go on Wikipedia odysseys with Logan, and no one to beam at Roman.

Janus still walks to the bookshelf and runs his hand along the spine of the books, searching, searching for something to read that he hasn’t read in a while, and unbidden his mind will go directly to what puns he could make from the titles. Remus had looked up at him once as a chuckle forced its way out through his lips and asked him what was so funny. Janus had shaken his head and said something had just crossed his mind.

He still walks into a room and instinctively picks up a pen to toss into the corner, expecting a soft ‘thank you’ or an ‘ow!’ from the chair or the couch or the desk. Virgil had stared at him one time when he’d walked into the room and without thinking, grabbed a pen from the pen pot and chucked it across the room, eyes wide, wondering what was happening. Janus had dropped to the ground and done his very best to comfort the poor dear, saying that no, he wasn’t angry, he did that from a habit, it’s alright, it’s alright…

He still has the urge to buy another beanbag chair, even though the one they have right now fits the three of them perfectly, unable to get the worry of making the twins share for longer than absolutely necessary out of his head. Virgil and Remus had shrugged and said they’d be fine with having their own beanbag chairs, but they look too small all alone in the sea of fabric and small plastic balls. He’d shaken his head and said he prefers seeing them all together.

But mostly…

Mostly he misses the bright, bubbly laughter that would fill the house to bursting, drawing a smile to his lips at how unabashedly happy it was. The siren song would lure him from every corner of the house, even if he were knee-deep in work, just to see what made its owner so deliriously happy.

Mostly he misses the easy words, the sweet nothings, the effortless comfort. He’s a little too rough, too guarded, too intimidating to sound as gentle and kind and reassuring, he can’t be the softer kind of support that his sweeties need sometimes. That loss, the fumbling of his tongue, always makes those sobs sound so much louder.

Mostly he misses the shameless questions. How is he doing today, what can we do to help, you know we love you, right? Such selfless care, emanating from everywhere, unconditional support, that promise, he doesn’t know how anyone could do that. For someone for whom love still fit clumsily on his tongue, he was in danger of dying of thirst after years of feeling like he could drown in it.

Mostly he misses turning around and not seeing an empty space next to him.

Don’t start.

Not again.

You don’t deserve to miss something when you threw it away without caring.

This road only leads to silences, silences Remus tries to fill by being too big, too loud, too much, silences Virgil detests and hides away, waits out, curling around his security stuffie until feels it’s safe to come out again.

It won’t be.

It’s not their fault, they’re kids. They shouldn’t be trained to read every single emotional cue to make sure their worlds won’t be upended again, they shouldn’t have to try and take of their parent, they shouldn’t be worrying about what’s going on with a problem they can’t fix. It isn’t their fault that Janus never learned how to let himself be vulnerable. It isn’t their fault that he never learned how to bite back some of his harsher remarks. It isn’t their fault that Janus could never stop trying to defend himself from someone who would never hurt him, never wanting to listen.

Janus takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

It’s his fault. Of course, it’s his fault.

It’s his fault Remus still looks around for his twin in the mornings.

It’s his fault that the brothers will grow up divided.

It’s his fault that Dad lives separately from them now.

But damn, he misses Patton so much.

———————————————

Logan: So we’re in agreement, this happens this Friday.

emo-nightmare: no need for all the grammar there L

Princey: Yes! This Friday™! It will be glorious and victorious!

living nightmare: we all will shout uproarious?

emo-nightmare: cause life is so euphorious

Logan: That’s not a word, Virgil.

emo-nightmare: if you wanna write to disney and tell em theyre using made up words i can think of better places for u to start

Princey: no virge don’t he’ll actually do it

Logan: Putting that aside, we agree that we’re doing this this Friday, yes?

Princey: Yep. Dad thinks we’re gonna go to the park to hang out after school and he’s meeting us there.

emo-nightmare: papa’s got a photoshoot with that new brand and rem and i suggested the park at 530

living nightmare: I got the fake blood and mannequin heads

Princey: REMSU WHAT THE FUKC

emo-nightmare: wow how is L letting yo make that many typos

Princey: fuck off V

living nightmare: how is Dad letting you get away with swearing that much

Princey: I am disowning you

living nightmare: on what grounds?

Princey: on the grounds that your a douchebag and you swear every two words

emo-nightmare: *you’re are u proud of me L

Logan: Had you not used the ‘u’, I would be

emo-nightmare: smh when will I be enough

Princey: you don’t need to be enough for us to love u now NO MORE SAD TALK IT IS OPERATION GET OUR DADS TO PULL THEIR HEADS OUTTA THEIR ASSES TIME

Logan: Everything is a go?

Princey: Sure is!

emo-nightmare: Roger

living nightmare: so I shouldn’t bring the mannequin heads?

Logan: No.

Princey: NO

emo-nightmare: guess not

living nightmare: :(

———————————————

In the end, it’s surprisingly easy for their kids to do things without them noticing.

Patton doesn’t Roman sneaking a camera into his backpack on the way to school, or the way he nods at Logan as they spilt up upon reaching the gates. He’s too preoccupied with scanning the parking lot, seeing if maybe, just maybe, there’s another familiar car here that he shouldn’t be caught looking at.

He doesn’t notice the way Logan texts him to remind him that they’ll be meeting at the park, across the street from the library, at 5:30 pm sharp, next to the fountain, and says that Patton will be there, not him. He’s too busy remember the last time he was at that fountain.

Janus doesn’t notice the way Remus pouts one more time at Virgil as they get ready to go, sighing and rolling his eyes about how boring the others are getting. He’s too focused on how he still expects to see a different person in the passenger seat as he drops them off a block away from the school.

He doesn’t notice the way Virgil doesn’t ask him to remember that they’re meeting after school in the park so he can help with taking the photos, but tells him, in no uncertain terms, that Janus better be in the park by the fountain at 5:30. He’s…busy remembering why he agreed to have the photoshoot by the fountain in the first place.

“Wait, why don’t you want to do the partner photoshoot?”

Janus sighs, leaning back against the fountain. “Because it has me fake being a couple.”

Patton’s mouth opens and closes and Janus sighs. Patton looks at the ground.

“I don’t believe that kind of bond can be just an arrangement,” he says after a moment, “as if it were a…contract or something. For something that they want but not—not like that.”

The fountain burbles quietly. Janus tips his head back to look at the stars.

“And what do you want?”

Patton turns, straightening as the frustration in his voice drifts away. “What do I want?”

Janus nods.

“What a good question,” he murmurs, looking at him, “what I want…is for you to come closer.”

Janus blinks in shock, his brow furrows just the slightest bit. Patton smiles and beckons.

“Yes,” he encourages when he takes a tentative step, “come closer.”

He stands to his full height as he stops in front of him, still searching his face for a clue as to what is going on. He doesn’t hold his gaze, instead looking at him with such awe that the sweet thing flushes. His hands come up slowly, hovering above his shoulders before carefully, carefully taking hold of his arms.

“This,” he breathes, “is what I want,” he says as his fingers toy with the roughness of his jacket, “this is what I want, what I have always wanted.”

Oh.

Janus’s breath catches in his throat but Patton doesn’t stop.

“To have you here in my arms and to know—“ his gaze flashes up to catch Janus’s— “that you feel at home here.”

As his eyes go wide, Patton takes them a step away from the fountain. His gaze searches his face desperately.

“Tell me,” he asks, “do you still feel comfortable here? With me? Is it still home for you?”

It’s too much. The way his gaze threatens to tear his heart from his chest, his words pluck his walls apart, brick by brick, it’s too much. He can be the friend, he can’t—he can’t see Patton like this.

“Please…please…don't turn away from me—look at me.” A hand catches his chin, guiding him back. “Look in my eyes.”

I can’t, he wants to say, it’ll hurt when I have to look away.

“Are you scared?” His face falls. “By what? I won’t hurt you, I’d never hurt you, unless…”

He swallows, and something flickers behind his eyes.

“…you want to go?”

“It’s not that,” he manages, closing his eyes as he shakes his head, “I promise it’s not that.”

“If not, then what?”

“The others—I can’t—“

He doesn’t let him finish, swiftly cutting him off with a shake of his head. “No. No one can tell you that you can’t be here with me. I want you here, as long as you want to be here.”

I can stay? he asks with the furrow between his brows.

You can stay, he replies with the appearance of a smile.

“I know what I want, Janus.” Patton takes the smallest step closer. “Always have. And there was a time when…when you wanted that too.”

Janus chuckles. “You sound ridiculous.”

Patton laughs too. “Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m happy to be ridiculous if it lets me…”

He trails off and Janus frowns.

“…lets you what?”

“Be yours,” he murmurs as Janus’s heart pounds, “and to hear you be called mine.”

His face contorts as he traces the curve of his cheek again. He follows the trail of warmth, pushing into it with the hesitant desperation of a single trickle of water, halted by a dam in the river.

“You’re still here,” comes the quiet observation, “so clearly you're not afraid…are you?”

“…I don’t know anymore.”

“Then if you didn't trust me…” He swallows. “Then I’d ask you to—to go. Because I don’t want you to be here if you don’t want to be.”

The thought of leaving sends a spike through his ribs, punching a breath out of his lungs. He presses into his hand as much as he dares.

“…but if you do trust me,” he whispers, the fountain still humming behind them, “if you are truly not afraid of my touch as you've shown…close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Close them,” he repeats, “…please.”

He does as bid, all but thrumming in his hands. The hand on his cheek trembles for barely a moment, as if its owner is suddenly overcome by the realization that they’re here, before he feels a warmth next to his face and a puff of breath that isn’t his own.

“W-wait!”

The air freezes.

His eyes fly open as he struggles to process what just happened.

Patton. Patton. His Patton. He—he loves him. He invited him here tonight because he loves him. He wants to spend time with him because he loves him.

Gods above, he loves him.

He—gods, he just tried to kiss him because he loves him.

He just tried to kiss him.

And he—

—oh, gods, he told him to wait.

“Patton—“ he tries to find him but it’s too late.

The second he meets his eyes, he’s met with a tidal wave of anguish, slammed quickly behind iron doors that fail to banish the hurt from his expression. It breaks his heart.

“I understand,” he says lowly, going to move away, “I understand—“

“No—please, listen to me, I—“

“You don’t have to say anything,” he says smoothly, his hand already leaving his face, “I understand. That was an abuse of power, it was not my intention to—“

“I didn’t mean it like that, I don’t want you to think that I—“

“The last thing I want is to pressure you into something you don’t want.”

“You don’t know I don’t want it!”

“I do!” His gaze flares sharply with anger, with hurt, seas of pain buried behind smiles and guarded expressions. He takes a deep breath and tries to force it away. “You told me to wait. And, forgive me, but I won’t wait to have my heart be broken all over again.”

“I’m not trying to break your heart—“ he scrabbles frantically for him— “please, just listen—“

“You don’t need to explain yourself, you never have, I understand that you don’t want me like that.” He lets him grab onto him but does not stop turning away. “But if you could give me a moment to collect myself, I—“

“I don’t know how to kiss!”

He freezes. “…what?”

His cheeks burn with the weight of his embarrassment and his unshed tears. “I don’t know how to kiss,” he repeats at a much more reasonable volume. He twists his hands in front of him. “I…you…I’m sorry, fuck, I’m making a mess of this.”

He buries his head in his hands, willing the tears to stay behind his eyes. As he looks up, he knows he’s going to fail as he spots the red-rimmed eyes staring back at him.

“Don’t ever,” he starts, voice wobbling a little, “don’t you ever believe that I don’t love you.”

His breath leaves him in a rush.

“Of course I love you,” he continues, growing stronger when he lets out a whimper and reaches for him, “of course I love you.”

“Then why—“ he grasps his shoulders, tighter than before, “why did you ask me to wait?”

The fountain bubbles and burbles, the soft smell of their drinks mixing with the sweet smell of the water. It’s warm here, in each other’s arms. It feels like home.

“I’ve never kissed anyone,” he confesses softly, “not like…not like that. It scares me.”

Patton shifts, not enough to hurt, just enough to hold Janus closer.

“I don’t know how to speak it.” His eyes fall closed, breathing in the warm smell of safe. “I don’t know what to do with it. And I—“

Patton gives his sides a gentle squeeze.

“…I am terrified of what normally comes after.”

“You don’t have to be,” comes the immediate reassurance, “not here, not with me. I won’t force you to do anything you’re not ready for. I will never ask anything of you that you wouldn’t give. Not until you want to.”

“…and what if I never want to?”

Janus feels his soft smile as he rests his chin on top of his head. “Then we won’t.”

“No?”

“No.” His forehead comes to rest against Janus’s once more. “But kissing doesn’t have to lead to that. It can just be a kiss.”

“It can?”

“Of course.” There’s a pause. “As that is the case…”

His eyes open. Is he…

“…are you asking?”

Patton pulls back just far enough to look him in the eyes.

“May I teach you how to kiss, my love?”

Janus’s breath leaves him in a rush. “Yes.”

They would say that it took a lot of work. And it did; getting back to a place where they could trust each other again, to live together again, was a slow progression. Over a year, at least, but there they were, working together against the problem, not each other.

But really, really it…

Well, Janus turned around, expecting to see Virgil, and saw Patton instead, blinking in confusion.

Patton mumbled something about Roman and Logan saying he should be here, a small smile growing when Janus says that Virgil and Remus did the same.

“…our kids, huh?”

“Our kids.”

Patton cautiously broached the topic of whether he remembered the fountain. Janus had smiled and said that how could he forget?

“…anything else you remember?”

And, well, maybe there was something to be said about the movies that Roman loved so much and everyone else pretended they didn’t.

Because as Janus wraps his hand around Patton’s hoodie and pulls him in, they could swear they could hear cheering and whooping all around them.

In fairness to the kids, they had an excellent reason for why they shouldn’t be grounded for lying about their after-school plans.

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mochimiyas · 4 years

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acceptance

pairings: pre-timeskip!miya atsumu x reader, somewhat atsumu-centric

warnings: slight angst, mentions of insecurities, lowercase intended

a/n: wow i got lots of love from my sakusa drabble and i can’t help but thank you guys for enjoying! this drabble is based on my curiosity when atsumu accepts the fact that osamu will no longer pursue volleyball by his side, and what he does after it. i feel like its something everyone goes through in their life, whether it may be concerning a sport, hobby, job, etc. and if yall had someone that was on that atsumu/osamu bond level. please enjoy! content is under the cut...

“atsumu! when are ya gonna talk to yer brother?! it’s been a week, son. just please talk to him...”

miya atsumu was considered one of the best setters during his high school years, and was widely known to be a threat along with his twin brother, miya osamu.

‘’samu...’

atsumu clenched his teeth at the thought of his twin brother. the fact that his brother had the audacity to confront him at school, nonetheless informing him that he no longer wanted to pursue volleyball with him and instead, take a step into the culinary business. atsumu felt like his world was crumbling into ashes slowly, as if time slowed down in that particular moment. he remembered feeling his heart beating painfully in his ears after the gut-wrenching declaration.

everyone else who was in the gym at the time waited for atsumu’s reaction. majority of the outsiders thought atsumu would be happy that his twin decided to pursue his true passion, but the team knew better. they knew atsumu like the back of their hands.

atsumu and osamu did everything together. they never once separated from each other and were each other’s greatest rival. atsumu would never admit it out loud, but he always considered osamu to be his motivation to improve and to become a better player. he never thought in a million years that osamu thought about ditching volleyball for cooking. how long was he thinking about this for? why would he suddenly quit? why is he leaving me behind?

as the blonde setter mulled over all the possible reasonings behind osamu’s sudden declaration, the grey-haired spiker was internally freaking out, his brother’s silence scaring him. he truly didn’t know what the setter was thinking this time, his facial expression void of any indication of what he was thinking inside. osamu let out as a shaky breath as atsumu lifted his head to look at him.

“can ya repeat that again, ‘samu?” osamu sighed as he braced himself for what was about to come.

“i said, i won’t be doin’ volleyball anymore after high school. i’ve decided that i wanna start takin’ cooking seriously and start my own business,” he stared straight into atsumu’s eyes, gauging his reaction.

“just because i ain’t doin’ volleyball, doesn’t automatically mean i’m less successful than ya by default,” he suddenly grabs the collar of atsumu’s jacket, “if yer so dang sure you’ll be the happier one, then come back to me when we’re old geezers! wait until then to frickin’ laugh in my face and say that you were happier!”

something inside of atsumu snapped and gave osamu a vicious glare.

he calmly stated, “if that’s how ya wanna do it, fine,” atsumu gripped his brother’s collar, “when we are on our death beds, i’m gonna look at ya right in the face and tell ya i had the happier life!”

it’s been a week since atsumu last spoke to his brother, the altercation being the last time. truthfully, atsumu was genuinely lost. the realization that his brother was pursuing a different career path than him finally sunk in, and so many emotions came at him all at once. atsumu didn’t know what to think, what to feel, and it scared him. it scared him knowing that he couldn’t do anything to set his thoughts straight. it also made him feel like he was incapable of keeping his emotions in check. he was miya atsumu, one of japan’s greatest youth setters. something like this should’ve been a breeze for him to overcome, right?

right?

atsumu sighed and glanced at the clock on his bedside table. 00:28 am. the blonde setter knew you were still awake, and decided to text you.

a loud ding! woke you up instantly and you hurriedly checked your phone to see your boyfriend texting you at an ungodly hour. you heard from suna what happened between the miya twins and when you asked atsumu about it, he ignored your question and walked away, your shouts of his name and pleas for him to come back fading into the distance. after that day, you gave atsumu some space, hoping that he would come talk to you about it but after a week of not hearing from him, you grew worried but still gave him the space he desperately needed.

tsum-tsum: oi, are ya still awake? lemme come over

you: i’m awake now! ill unlock my door for you. just lock it when u get inside please

tsum-tsum: omw now

twenty minutes later, you faintly heard the front door open and close, the lock sliding into place. footsteps were shuffling closer and closer to your room until the door opened, revealing your disheveled boyfriend. the under eye bags, his immaculately styled hair now sticking up in different directions; atsumu truly looked like dog shit, you thought.

you motioned for your boyfriend to come lay next to you, immediately curling underneath your comforter. atsumu laid his head on your chest as you gently stroked his hair and wrapped your other arm around his broad shoulders.

“‘m sorry,” he whispered.

“don’t worry about it ‘tsumu. your feelings and how you reacted are valid. i would’ve felt the same way if i was in your shoes, y’know,” you reassured him. you brought your hand from his hair to cup his chin, gingerly lifting his head to face you.

“do you mind telling me what was going through your head for the past week? you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

atsumu immediately poured out his feelings for you. his fear of losing osamu, his partner-in-crime, and being all alone. osamu was truly the only person that could keep up with him, and for that he was grateful, but what was he going to do now that osamu is moving on? atsumu always left people behind due to his hunger to improve his skills as a setter, but never once he thought that it would happen to him, let alone it would be his brother who ceased the “terror of the miya brothers.” he also recalled the memory to you, what happened at the gym and the aftermath.

he felt your body shaking slightly, confusion spreading across his face as he watched you fail miserably to contain your laughter.

atsumu pouted, “oi! is my pain funny to ya or somethin’?! yer supposed ta be supportin’ me through my troubles, babe,” you laughed even harder at his pout.

“oh ‘tsumu, you never fail to make me laugh,” he glowered at you, “it’s just- you and osamu will be just fine.”

before he could protest, you placed your hand over his mouth, “shhh, let me explain, love. ‘samu knew for a long time that you were gonna make it further into the volleyball path than he was. your love for volleyball is greater than his, and he knew that his time with you on the court wasn’t gonna last any longer,” you removed your hand from his mouth to cup his cheek.

“but the last thing ‘samu knew he can do for you before he officially left volleyball, was to challenge you. that’s why he taunted you that day y’know. he wanted you to keep going without him. he supports ya regardless of whatever path you take in the future. hell, maybe one day, your paths will cross when you both are older and happy in your future lives,” you chuckled.

it was silent after. you and atsumu laid in each other’s arms. while you were trying your hardest to stay awake, the blonde setter seemed to be deep in thought about what you said.

finally, after moments of silence, atsumu spoke up.

“i’m gonna beat him, ‘n i know damn well i’m gonna have a happier life than him.”

you giggled at his declaration.

“can’t wait to see you achieve that, atsumu.”

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #hq #hq!!#haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu writing #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu atsumu #miya atsumu #atsumu angst #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu drabbles

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not-poignant · 3 years

Note

Hi Pia!! I love your work and have consistently been reading it for over a couple of years, currently every TIP update u post makes my days a bit brighter 🥰

It is also thanks to you that I started posting fics last year after more than three years not doing so. While some of my fics have been wildly popular in a fandom some others don't seem to have landed as well within the same one, so I wanted to ask, what do you do about those stories that excite you but that don't seem to have found an audience yet, or that they never will?? How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

Have a lovely day 💚🍀

Hi anon,

This is a hugely complicated question.

For a start, for writing that is for income, if I think it won't do well, I don't write it (although only to a point, I wrote The Gentle Wolf because asexual representation mattered more to me than sales, but it still hit hard when that turned out to be true). I don't like to mess with things that pay the bills. I hate that I have to look at metrics in that sense, but I do. But thankfully we're not talking about original fiction:

For fanfiction, things are different, and there might be a lot of different things going on.

For a start, almost always, when people ask me this question they are still getting some interaction on their fics, just not as much as they wanted or imagined. It can really help to like, remember to be grateful for every person who interacts, and not just the 'quantity' of interactions.

I think like... I am a big fan of 'write for yourself' but it's also true that I write for interaction on AO3. Just... only you can decide how much of the former will compensate for not much of the latter. There are people out there who are like 'if I was only writing for myself I'd keep it in my computer.' I'm not like that, and I don't vibe that way. I write for myself but enjoy sharing it, in case something that worked well for me, works well for a stranger. Everyone is different and that's eventually going to be what the crux of this post is, lol.

Popularity is influenced by the fact that some fandoms are more dead than others and lack interaction across the board in general (Persona 5, for example, is notorious for this). Some fandoms like certain tropes more than others. Some fandoms are massively popular for three weeks and then die almost immediately. And so on and so on.

Ultimately fandom is fickle, it's loyal to the stories they like more than the authors they like, and you can't predict what will be a flash in the pan and what won't be, and it doesn't always have anything to do with the quality of the fic itself or the tags you used. (This is sort of like how sketches will sometimes get tens of thousands of notes and a 300 hour single piece of quality art will get 400 notes, while a professional artist tears their hair out in pieces).

Sometimes, a fic will be more interesting to me than the reality of fandom interaction and I'll write it. Touching and Melting for Houseki no Kuni is a good example of that. A tiny fic for honestly an extremely quiet and tiny western fandom in terms of fic, which looks like it had a lot of interaction 3 years on, but had almost nothing in the first few months. And sometimes the fic idea won't be more interesting to me than the reality of the fandom interaction, and I won't write it. I go story idea by story idea.

But I've also taught myself to really think about a) the way I talk about interaction and b) to really value every individual that leaves a kudos, or comments, or public bookmarks. When I sort of started out with Shadows and Light, I remember being so bummed when a story didn't do as well, and thinking that meant it was doing 'badly.' Let's be real, Game Theory when it started out had less than a tenth of the interaction of SALverse, and I thought I had failed. If I'd given up at that point, well... all of this wouldn't exist.

And then just looking at fanfiction, it's like.. well, sometimes fics do a lot worse than other fics, there's usually at least one person who will read it and leave a kudos. I remind myself that to that person, the story mattered or meant something, which meant I didn't just write it for myself anymore, there is interaction.

This is much harder on stories that have zero comments, and zero kudos, obviously, no one likes to feel as though they are shouting into the void. But it's also my experience that writers who've had popular fics, don't often have 'zero kudos fics' when they say a fic is doing really badly. They just..maybe need to value the individual interactions alongside how good a 'mass' of interaction can feel, or alongside how good 'quantity' can feel. I do really think that's a skill that a lot of like...enthusiastic fanfiction writers have mastered or at least are learning.

Sometimes it really helps to have somewhere in private to vent to when you feel emotionally overloaded or insecure, and honestly sometimes it can help to re-evaluate.

For some people, writing fic when a certain threshold of interaction isn't reached, just isn't worth it. I can't convince people like that to keep writing. If there's a deep seated 'this isn't worth it' then stop doing it.

If there's 'this is insecurity and I'm not good at valuing everyone and I feel down right now but it'll pass' then...work quietly and patiently and compassionately on strengthening your resilience and your trust in your own writing, and your ability to value individuals who interact and engage on your fics. If you don't do this, you may end up bitter and resentful, and that can influence your entire relationship with fandom, and worse, the people who interact with your fics.

Also, finally:

How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

In fanfiction, I do not base whether something is worth my writing time on the quantity of people who will interact with it. It is worth my writing time because I'm really excited to write it, and I want to share it, even if people don't respond immediately, or even if only one person ever comments.

I don't...have this fear that you have based on the things you're basing it on - my fears are different to yours. It's fanfiction. It's worth my writing time because I'm eager to write or fix or alter something in canon or I want to make the two boys fuck because no one else was going to, and because I can generally trust that one person out there will probably read it, even if I go back over 10 years ago and my Livejournal fics were only getting like one comment per chapter. If that.

If your metric for 'worthiness' is 'quantity of interaction' then - I'm the wrong person to talk to, I'm literally motivated to write fanfiction by completely different factors to you. I didn't start SAL knowing it would get popular, I thought people would hate me because I killed Jamie in the first chapter, and up until that point none of my fics had been popular.

I can't convince you on the things that convince me, when our foundational motivations are different. If you want quantity and that's what 'worth' means to you, I don't know what to tell you, I would never have written SAL in the first place if I hadn't been the kind of person to just write fanfic for almost no / or no interactions, and still enjoy that single person who said 'I really enjoyed this thank you for writing.' I didn't spring into being as someone who was writing fics that got a lot of interaction, that came...years later, y'know?

So what is worthy to me sounds like it's also just different to what is worthy to you. Ultimately, there are people only writing fanfiction on the basis of how many people interact with them, and...I don't know how those people keep choosing to write honestly, and I think a lot eventually abandon it, because there's no algorithm to crack in order to be successful every time. Maybe...remind yourself that you've had popular fics in the past and therefore you will again? And that you can't get to that point without less popular fics on the step ladder in the meantime? Therefore, even a fic that doesn't feel 'worth your time' will be a stepping stone to the one that is?

Imho, I think my fics are worth my time because I enjoy reading them once they're finished. And then I think they're worth my time because other people enjoy them. Having a popular fic is fun and nice, but honestly, often a fluke, and doesn't always say anything about the quality of the writing (some of the most popular Yuri! on Ice stories with 10,000+ kudos were like...not always...the most well-written stories, but people were desperate for Content, and it was certainly that).

But yeah, how I think about fanfiction is very different to how I think about 'fiction that has to earn an income.' Ultimately I don't want to apply the latter philosophies to the former, other people do. If you're applying 'this needs to hit a certain threshold of interaction to be worthy' as your basis for writing fanfiction, then...we have very very different motivations for creating content in fandom! And I'm the wrong person to ask.

As I said, it's complicated, lol.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on fanfiction #people have different values they bring to writing fanfiction #i've seen folks just say 'it's not worth it' if they're not getting like a certain amount of kudos or comments #and idk #i don't relate to that #which i know is hard to believe now but like #i *literally started out*#posting fics on livejournal and on livejournal communities #thinking it was a small miracle if like #*a single person commented*#and that's what sustained me for years #if that would've made you quit #we're here for different reasons anon

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icequeenoriginal · 4 years

Text

The Meaning of FamILY

Note: I am so sorry for this taking centuries to come out, I blame laziness and writer’s block. So here it finally is, @khadij-al-kubra, the fic you requested. Again, I am so so sorry this took so long to get out. Also, this takes place a year after Intimacy and All Its Forms. Also Happy Late One Year Anniversary of this AU’s blog.

Thank you @theromnempire for editing. You’re the best!

Names of side characters belong to @hi-i-love-u-bitch. This AU belongs to @ask-spiderverse-virgil and @sugarglider9603

Trigger Warnings: Deaths mentioned, two past minor character death, crying (Let me know if I missed anything)

Pairings: Prinxiety and Logicality

Roman was ushered into the living room by his older sister. He couldn’t understand why. Normally when his father came home, he would see Roman sitting at the kitchen table, doing his homework and his father would walk over and ask about before changing out of his work clothes.

Maybe it was a celebration! Or maybe a surprise! But…why was Amá crying?

Roman’s mother looked up and locked eyes with her confused, innocent son. It made her burst into more tears and Roman ran to comfort her.

“¿Amá?¿Por qué lloras mami?” Roman asked while tilting his head to the side.

Lupita couldn’t help but smile at Roman, almost forgetting what had just happened. She frowned, and more tears fell as she realized what she had to do now.

“Roman ...mi Valiente chico…tengo algo que decirte...se trata de tu padre…”

Roman woke up with a start like he did every year on this day. It’s always the same memory that would wake him up like clockwork, ending right before his mom said the words that shattered his world forever. Roman’s brain liked to torture him but pretend to forget the worst part.

He decided not to think about it and just dressed.

Roman never noticed how quiet the house actually was on this day. Any other day of the year, even if he was the first to wake up, there was some kind of noise. It could be anything from the humming of the ceiling fan or people rushing to get breakfast ready. But today, nothing. All the sounds of the apartment were swept out as if the family occupying the house needed a reminder of what was happening

Maybe Roman just lost his touch with reality on this day. He was never sure, not that it really mattered. He knew the world did not stop just because he is in a shitty mood. Did that ever make him feel any better? No, but it gave him a false motivation to get up and get ready for school.

He walked to the twins' room, like every day, to get them ready for school. Any other of the 365 days of the year, the twins would already be awake, fully ready to run around and make Roman’s morning even more hectic. Today, both had a blanket over their heads and he could hear his little sister sniffling.

He wished it was because of a cold. It never was.

“Vamos, es hora de levantarse,” Roman said, just loud enough for the twins to hear, worried if his voice went any height they could hear how broke it was.

“NO!” both Jenni and Marco shouted, pulling the blanket simultaneously over their heads. Roman wanted to laugh at the sight, badly.

Instead, he sighed “No no, you guys gotta get up and go to school.”

“NO!” Marco shouted

“It’s a bad day today!” Jenni cries

“I know guys but we can’t miss school,” Roman said softly.

“We’ll go to school tomorrow!”

“Yeah, when it’s not Papi’s death day!��

Roman inhaled sharply, it was the first time of the day someone acknowledged what the 17th of February meant. The house somehow got even muter, if that was possible. His sister and brother burst into tears and Roman felt his face heat up. But he couldn’t cry, he was-

A soft, reassuring hand landed on his shoulder as he took a step forward.

“Amá…” Roman said, his voice strained

Lupita’s eyes were full of storms of sadness, threatening a downpour. “Roman ... ve y desayuna.”

Roman shook his head. He could do it, he had to. His mother had enough on her plate. “Pero Amá--” Lupita cut him off.

“Está bien. No te preocupes por eso”

Roman sighed “Okay.” He was too tired to argue. This day seemed to already take so much out of him and it had hardly had started.

Roman sulked to the kitchen and made himself some toast. Something quick, easy and he was least likely to get sick from. He stared absently, unfortunately making eye contact with his father in an old happy family photo. He sucks in his breath as silent memories began to haunt him like they always do. He hated those more than any amount of his siblings sobbing or screaming in agony. He could tune those out with music, his one constant. These just got louder and louder no matter what he tried.

What snapped him out of the pitiful void was a vibration from his phone. He pulled it out to reveal a text notification from Patton.

Bestie <3: I’ll be on the fire escape in a minute! Alex stole my sweater again :(((

Roman frowned, had he really taken that long to get ready? He hadn’t even made anyone’s lunch or even breakfast. He wasn’t even sure he was ready to talk to anyone today. Much less to get their glances of pity. Constantly hearing “sorry for your loss” got old quick. Besides, he didn’t want to bring anyone down, especially his best friends, just because of what today is. He sighed and texted Patton back:

Romaine Lettuce :): It’s okay. I’m gonna swing over to school today, go on without me.

Roman saw that Patton had read his text but he didn’t reply. Roman didn’t think much of it, he figured he was still chasing Alex around, and just grabbed his toast as soon as it was done in the toaster.

“Amá! I’m heading out to school! I love you! Bye!” Roman didn’t wait for a reply and ran up the stairs that lead to the roof as he put on his costume. Web swinging always seemed to calm his nerves, or more accurately, distracted him. Something about one mistake and you can fall to your death really makes your other problems seem small. As he was about to fire his first web, a voice shouted for him to halt.

Patton ran up to him, also in full costume “Wait for me!”

“Pat?” Roman asked, not trying to hide his confusion. “What are you doing here?”

Although Patton had the mask on, It wasn’t hard to tell he was smiling. “I’m going to swing with you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know but I want to head to school with you like I always do.”

Roman felt a mixture of happiness and guilt swirl around in his stomach, creating an unpleasant cocktail make just for him. Not that he knew what a cocktail tasted like.

Roman gave a small smile behind his mask “Okay then Pat, I’ll race you” and took off without another word.

They swung without another word, which relieved Roman. He didn’t want to be asked about how he was doing, the answer was obvious and Roman was tired of being asked it.

Unfortunately, this feeling did not last and Roman quickly returns to his self-pity and dark thoughts. Roman was so lost in his brooding thoughts of the bombardment of sympathy that he would receive through the day that he did not see the tall building in front of him. Thankfully, Patton did and webbed Roman quick enough so that he landed on the roof.

Well...landed is a generous term here. With how fast Roman was going, Patton had to quickly web him and throw him on the roof of the building.

Patton landed gracefully next to him. He placed his hands on his hips and said: “Okay, that’s enough swinging for you, mister!”

“I’m fine Patton, I just wasn’t paying attention this time.”

Patton shook his head, “You’re distracted, understandably so and I know you don’t want to talk about it, even though you should, but I won’t make you. It’s not safe Roman! I can’t let my best friend get hurt again! Not on my watch…”

Roman could see the agony swept into Patton’s eyes. He knew that memories of the year before, bad ones brought nothing but pain, were swarming Patton’s mind. Memories of Roman avoiding him, the fighting, the robot battle, all were tearing Patton down. It was a look far too familiar to him.

Roman ran to Patton as he began to shake. Roman muttered an apology that seemed small to himself but was perfect to Patton. Once Patton was able to calm himself down, he hugged Roman tightly, to show he was never going to let him go.

“Let’s walk to school okay? I know a game we can play. It’s called “Beautiful Things’. As we walk, we point out the beautiful things we see and why we find them beautiful. Alex and Georgie made it up after Frankie…passed…and we played it all the time”

Roman raised his mask just above his lip to show that he was smiling “That sounds great, Patton, I’d love to.”

So they snuck off the roof, changed, and walked. They pointed out birds, children, babies, and music playing from cars. Roman had no idea that such a simple game could bring him so much calm, but it did. He never realized there is so much good in the world, that was what they, as heroes, fought for.

When they got to school, Roman headed to his locker. To an outside viewer, it was nothing out of the ordinary. But for the four, it was breaking the sacred tradition. First, they would meet at Logan’s locker as it was the closest to the entrance. Then they would make their way to their own lockers while catching up with one another. Finally, they would arrive at homeroom to get ready for the school day.

However, as Roman watched Patton saunter over and embrace Logan, his feet didn’t want to go anywhere except towards an island of isolation. He didn’t want to ruin the happy mood, especially after making Patton think of Frankie so early in the morning. What best friend forces you to remember your dead brother?

He opened his locker and slowly pulled out the books he would need until lunch. When that took less than a minute. He stared at the objects he taped onto the door of his locker over the course of the year. At the top was a small mirror that he suddenly did not want to look into. At the bottom is a whiteboard with reminders of tests written by Logan, supportive messages from Patton, and quick doodles by Virgil. He felt the tug of a small smile on his lips, though it went away quickly.

He had only begun scanning the dozens of photographs he had before two arms snaked their way around his waist. He felt warmth in his chest as his boyfriend’s lips were pressed on the space between his shoulder blades.

“Morning” Virgil said, tiredness leaking into his speech.

Roman smiled softly and leaned slightly into the touch. “What leads you to my neck of the woods?” Roman asked as if he did not already know the answer.

“I needed to escape before I drowned in the puppy love.”

It wasn’t the answer he was expecting so he pressed on, “What do you mean?” Roman turned his head slightly to look at Virgil. Virgil, without lifting his cheek off Roman’s back, unfortunately, removed one of his arms from around Roman and gestures to his right.

In distance, Patton has Logan’s shirt held carefully in his fingers, playing with the buttons as he talked to Logan. Logan watched with nothing but love and appreciation in his eyes. Roman couldn’t help but sigh at the couple, he was part of the team that got them together after all. One of his best accomplishments, if he’d say so himself..

“It’s so sweet...disgusting.” Virgil continued. Switching from resting his cheek on Roman’s back to his chin, he looked up and said, “Now give me my good morning kiss.”

Roman chuckled and happily obliged. When they pulled apart, Virgil asks “I’m going to ask you a stupid question.”

“No question is stupid, love, ask away.”

“Are you okay?” “I stand corrected.” Virgil elbowed Roman in the side, both happy for their spider-strength for the opposite reasons.

“I mean it, Ro. I know you hate being asked that question, especially today, but I rather you get annoyed with me than let something happen like last time. So I’ll ask again, are you okay?”

“I am.”

Virgil raises an eyebrow “Am what?”

“Fine.” “I asked you if you were okay”

“Same difference.”

“Big difference, people only say they’re fine when they don’t want to admit they aren’t okay.”

Roman just looked away, having nothing to really say, plus he didn’t want to argue. Virgil sighed and hugged him again. Roman doesn’t push away, the pressure behind his eyes getting more and more unbearable. His emotions were already becoming too much for him to handle. He hugged back, relishing in the warmth of another person. It was stupid, in his mind, since Virgil was just hugging him moments ago.

With a sigh, Roman pulled back. He brushed his knuckles gently against Virgil’s cheek and whispered “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay because I’m sorry too,” Virgil said softly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Virgil couldn’t help but smile at that. “You know what? You’re right. I don’t. And with that, I’m going to spend this whole day cheering you up.”

“Virge…You don’t have to. Really! There’s no reason to-“

Virgil suddenly poked Roman chest, silencing the boy. “Do you remember the day that marked the anniversary of my grandpa’s death?”

“Of course I do, you were so upset. You didn’t even want to leave your room”

“Yeah, and you know what you did? You broke into my room, like some lunatic by the way, wrapped me up like a burrito-“

“It’s called a blanket burrito for a reason.”

“Don’t interrupt me. You wrapped me up, put on all my favorite movies that I wasn’t even aware you remembered and fed me snacks as we cuddled. Not even Logan had thought of doing that, he would just let me lie under my blankets while he just sat in the room.” Virgil paused to smirk before continuing “And I was never more grateful for you than at that moment.”

Roman’s face began to heat up. He couldn’t help it. No matter how big or small the compliment that Virgil would give him, he would turn into a blushing schoolgirl, ready to throw himself at Virgil and pepper him with kisses.

He opted to just hug Virgil again, a silent thank you. They were in public after all. They had some class.

Virgil embraced him for a few moments before the warning bell went off. “Listen, I’m going to make sure today is not going to be total shit for you.”

Roman chuckled in response, “Thanks, stormcloud.” Roman took a step to walk to his class but stopped when Virgil firmly grabbed his hand, “Huh?”

“What? I can’t hold my boyfriend’s hand as we walk to class?”

Roman chuckled, if there was one thing he knew about Virgil is that despite his boyfriend’s wariness of physical affection, Virgil always saw things through. Roman gently squeezed Virgil’s hand, absorbing the love that came from that simple gesture. Logan told him a few months ago about Love Languages and how physical touch was definitely his. It was a nice bonding moment for him and Logan, and it made Virgil really happy. Roman was rewarded handsomely for it.

Compared to every other year since his dad died, this was actually a pretty good day. Virgil would bring him to every class, even the ones were Virgil’s classes were nowhere near. Virgil had to keep reassuring Roman that it was fine, “I will just use my invisibility and sneak in. It will be funny to see how confused my teachers will be.” It made Roman genuinely laugh, something seemingly unachievable on this day.

The classes he did share with Virgil were the best. Virgil left his non-writing hand resting on Roman’s shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze whenever he felt Roman quiver, shake or tense up. Which was often since their teacher would not stop shooting Roman sympathetic looks, even after Virgil glared at her. Other classes that Virgil wasn’t in, Virgil would wrap his hoodie around Roman before he headed off to his next class. People would focus on this action and how cute it was that Roman would forget, even for a few minutes.

Around lunch, Roman’s mood changed from melancholy to calm, relatively speaking. He wasn’t walking with his head down, and even partaking. The numb and somewhat painful feeling in his chest was still present, but it was no longer the black pit sucking his emotions into it like usual.

Already seated at the lunch table were Logan and Patton, whispering and smiling at one another. Before Roman could announce his presence to the couple, Virgil tugged him back. He nearly made Roman fall backward in the process, but they both knew it wasn’t intentional. They always forgot how strong their spidey strength actually was.

“Sorry!” Virgil said instinctively though he did start laughing as Roman caught himself.

“What was that for?” Roman asked once he regained his balance.

“I needed to tell you before I forget, I asked Thomas if we could borrow his living room for a movie night and he said yes. Ask your mom if you can stay over.”

Roman smiled, “That sounds great”

Virgil smiled back as the two sat in their normal seats. As soon as the two entered Patton’s vision, his eyes light and he pushed a plate covered in tin foil towards the couple. It wasn’t anything uncommon, Patton using any excuse to make people food, from “Virgil had a headache” cookies to “You saved a bus filled with little kiddos and the city still won’t give you a key!” double chocolate cake. Roman removed the tin foil to reveal donuts. It shocked Roman, he had a bit of an expectation that Patton would make one of Roman’s favorite desserts; like he always did in years past.

Roman looked up at Patton puzzled and Patton reached over the table to squeeze Roman’s arm as it rested on the cafeteria table. “I know you don’t want to make this day all about you, so I made something we all consider a normal snack. Is it okay?”

Patton’s eyes read desperate and Roman, half because he wanted to be a good best friend and half because he did not want Patton to use his Empath powers, smiled, and nodded.

“This is perfect, Pat.”

Patton pulled back so he could properly muffle his squeal of delight since they were still in school and he did not want to get into trouble for “starting a disturbance.”

Logan whispered to Patton “You told me it was because you did not have enough time to make Roman his favorite cake.”

“...I can have multiple reasons” Patton whispered back, glad that Roman and Virgil were too busy bickering about the best Avenger to listen in.

Everyone ate their lunches and donuts, just enjoying the time they had together. Logan commented on how he heard that Roman and Virgil would not join them on patrol and he hoped that they “don’t burn down Thomas’ apartment”. That earned him a look from Roman, a “Logie!’ from Patton and a kick in the shin from Virgil all at the same time.

“It was a simple precaution!” Logan shouted, only to be told to quiet down by the cafeteria monitor.

It would later become a memory they would always look back on, Virgil even including it into his best man speech at Logan and Patton’s wedding, much to Logan’s dismay.

Once lunch was over, Roman snuck into the bathroom and sent off a text to his mom asking if it was possible if he could stay over at Virgil’s, adding that if she needed him to come home then it would be fine. He didn’t want to be selfish.

Roman figured he would get his reply by the end of the day since he knew his mom would be really busy at work and he wasn’t exactly sure when his mom had her lunch break. He put his phone in his pocket only to scare himself when his notification sound went off in the silent password. He pulled it out and his phone and had a new text from his mom.

Amá: Of course you can, Your sister is watching the twins today, go have fun. It’s what Papí would want.

Roman smiled, a single tear fell down his face. His mom was the best.

Roman’s afternoon classes came and went, nothing exciting or saddening happened of note. Though it wouldn’t have mattered, the prospect of cuddles and Disney movies filled him with so much excitement and joy.

As faith would have it, he had no play practice since their show season had just ended and Mr. Bell always gave them a week off so he could tie up any last loose ends and decide the dates for the next auditions. This gave him an extra two hours to spend with his boyfriend, perfect!

Roman ran up to Virgil’s locker and bounced on his toes as his boyfriend got his stuff together so they could head off. Virgil smirked and tilted his head to Roman, “You seem excited.”

Roman smiled and nods “I’m really excited for tonight”

“Oh?” Virgil teased “What’s happening tonight? I can’t remember anything important”

Roman lightly punched him in the arm “You’re so mean, remind me why I love you again?” “It was your choice to get into this relationship, Princey, don’t forget that” Virgil waved his hand as he spoke and Roman, to Virgil’s surprise, quickly snatched Virgil’s hand.

Roman smirked back “I am very aware, and I am so happy to have you.” He then kissed Virgil’s knuckles.

Virgil cursed his cheeks for the blush that always came when Roman did something romantic. He pulled his hand back and nervously giggled “Oh shush, let’s get going already.”

Man, did he love that boy.

After swinging over to Thomas’ apartment with Patton and Logan, Roman and Virgil quickly went to work on their pillow fort as the two other spider children spoke to their spider dad about the details of the patrol.

Once everything was set up, Thomas said “Great. Patton, you and Logan get my snack bag and go to the bodega on the corner, there is money in the bag so don’t worry about using your own money. Meet me on the roof in half an hour.”

Patton and Logan nodded and left to get their favorite snacks.

Thomas turned to Roman “Hey, Ro? Before you guys start, could you come with me to the roof?”

Roman was confused but agreed. He was a bit nervous, he felt like a child about to get yelled at and tried to think of what he could have done wrong recently.

Once they got to the roof, Roman asked, “If this about keeping your apartment clean, I promise Virgil and I will not burn it down. Logan already gave us the rundown.”

Thomas put his hand on Roman’s shoulder and softly smiled “I can feel you stressing out, even without Patton’s power. Don’t worry, I trust you. I just wanted to tell you something. Sit with me” Thomas patted Roman’s head when Roman released a sigh of relief.

The two sat on the edge of the roof, Thomas in his Rainbow Weaver costume with the mask on and Roman in his civilian clothes.

Thomas gazed over the city before saying “I know you are probably expecting me to give you a speech about grief and how to handle it, but I hated those speeches at your age when I got them because of my Aunt Patty. In fact, you remind me a lot of myself when I was younger, and I’m not just talking about being a fellow theatre geek. I never wanted to think about when she died and I would throw myself into helping people, with or without the suit. One thing led to another and I ended up beaten and bloodied in an alley on the anniversary of her death. When Talyn and Joan found me, I swear my Aunt Patty possessed them to yell at me for it. I thought Talyn might kill me themself.”

Roman laughed “I can see them doing that.”

Thomas chuckled and nodded “Oh yes. But what they and Joan did instead was patching me up and we had a FRIENDS marathon, ‘the police will handle crime for now’ Joan said. I broke down after three episodes because I love my friends so much. So before I start crying again at the memories, I just wanted to tell you that your friends--including Joan, Talyn, and I--are always here for you. Don’t make the same mistake I did and forget” Roman threw himself at Thomas for a hug “Never again, I promise.”

Thomas hugged back “Thanks, kid. Now go have fun.”

Virgil looked up from his phone when he heard footsteps coming towards him “What did Thomas want? Hey, are you okay?” Virgil pops out from under the fort and cups Roman’s face to wipe the tears away.

Roman smiles “I’m fine, really. I’m just...thank you, for putting up with me”

Virgil kisses him “It’s not putting up with you, it’s loving you. Ready to start Tangled” “Of course my love”

Tag list (Ask if you want to be added or removed):

@corkeecoderyt @per-seph-o-nee @3milystuff @asymmetricalgarbage8888 @fairytailtwists @sanders-sides-rebloger @mycatshuman @sanderssidesfluffyangst @unikornavenger @0callmevirge0 @gloomingwitch @roxiefox24 @ijustreallylovesanderssides @unisaurioamorfo @nadja-chamack16 @angelic-cali

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #spiderverse au #prinxiety #logicality #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #joan #talyn

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btssavedmylifeblr · 4 years

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Hi bee, i hope you're doing wellI just wanna ask for some tips bc I can't seem to do the "show don't tell" thing when writing. I have no idea why, it's weirdly difficult. Any websites or good examples about it? I'm kinda disappointed in myself. Thank u for being so kind! Much love to you

Ah yes, the classic advice that everyone says but is very hard to actually define. As a beginning writer, I always found this especially confusing because all writing is “telling” in the sense that you are telling a story. You only have words. It’s also a very hard thing to find clear examples of because “telling” might only be a sentence or two but good “showing” might take a whole scene, a whole chapter or a whole novel to do right. It’s something that takes practice and, unlike rules of grammar, can’t be fixed overnight.

I don’t always get it right (and “right” gets pretty subjective with this topic), but as an exercise, let’s compare the first scene I ever wrote to the opening scene of Void.

Excerpt One: Opening Scene of If You’re Struggling

(Disclaimer: I am so embarrassed by this cringey-ness. There is a reason I deleted it from Tumblr. Please don’t judge me too harshly. Writing is a learning process)

To illustrate the point (and because Tumblr’s formatting options suck) I’ve put a strikethrough on all the parts I would consider “telling” instead of “showing”.

“Have a great first day, honey!” Your boyfriend gives you a quick kiss as you grab your coffee and head out the door for your first day at your new job. You’ve been eagerly awaiting this day for several weeks now, since your successful interview with BigHit Entertainment. Up until now, you’ve been working as a makeup artist on a spec basis here in Seoul, but this is going to be your first full-time job as a makeup artist and stylist.

At the BigHit offices, you are welcomed in by the head stylist whom you met at your interview and she shows you around the offices.

“Ok, we need to get to the dressing room” she says, clapping her hands. “The boys are recording their dance practice today, and we need to do their makeup beforehand.”

Your heart beats a little faster when you realize you’re about to meet BTS. A month ago you had never heard of them, but since getting this job two weeks ago, you’ve been a bit obsessed - listening to their music non-stop as you do housework, watching all of their music videos over and over, seeking out all of their Bangtan bombs and television appearances. When your boyfriend caught you watching the “Boy in Luv” video for about the 30th time on your laptop, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your cheek.

“Do I need to be worried about you spending so much time with these boys?” He teased.

You turned your head and kissed him reassuringly on the lips. “No!” you giggled in mock offense “look at them, they’re just kids!”

You enter the dressing room and are pointed to a makeup chair in front of a mirror. You set about cleaning up your station and setting up your kit before the boys arrive. You hear the boys coming before you see them - shouting and laughing down the hallway before they get to the door. You are still setting up your station when the door clangs open and they burst into the room.

You turn around to find a tall, older blond boy already sitting in your chair. He gives you a smile and shakes your hand. “Hi. I’m Namjoon. You must be the new stylist.” He introduces himself as the leader and offers to help you get to know the other members. “Watch out for the younger ones, they like to play jokes on each other and everyone else.”

After Namjoon, you meet Jin. He is polite and spends most of his time in the chair filling you in on his recommendations for the other members “Be sure you get underneath Yoongi’s eyes, he was up late last night”, “Don’t go too dark on Jungkook’s lip color”, and so on. When you’re finished, he smiles gratefully at you and stands up to go.

Hoseok comes running over and throws his arm around Jin’s shoulders. “Jin’s make-up is easy since he’s so handsome already, right noona?” he teases Jin.

“Yes, precisely.” Jin replies, not embarrassed at all, but gives you a smile before heading off to hair.

Hoseok is the easiest to talk to out of all of the boys. He peppers you with questions as you do his makeup, all about where you’re from and where you’ve worked before. Before you know it, you’ve told him all about your life, including how you moved from South Korea to the US when you were six for your dad’s work and moved back when you were sixteen. “Oh wow!” He says excitedly. “We can all practice our English with you!”

While you are talking, a loud commotion comes from the back of the room as Jimin and Taehyung are playing Rock, Paper, Scissors and shouting about something.

“What’s going on?” You ask Hoseok and he smiles, a little embarrassed.

“They’re having a disagreement about who gets to sit in your chair next…” He replies. You just blush and look away.

While the younger boys are distracted with their battle, Yoongi plops down into your chair. He introduces himself with a nod and puts in headphones. About halfway through applying his makeup, you realize that he has fallen asleep. You look over at Namjoon, “What do I do now? Should I wake him up?” You ask.

Namjoon just chuckles, “You can keep going, he’ll just sleep through it.” When you’re finished, you gently wake him back up and point him in the direction of the hairstylist. He grumbles appreciatively and stumbles off.

Jimin has apparently won the game and comes rushing over to fill the vacant chair. “Hi. I’m Jimin.” He flashes you a devilish grin, then adds “You know… you are a lot younger and cuter than our last stylist…”

You’re a bit flustered, but Namjoon saves you. “Jimin, you can’t talk to our stylist like that!” He smacks Jimin gently upside the head and suddenly Jimin is just an adorable kid again.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry” he says and you get to work on his makeup.

Taehyung watches you doing Jimin’s makeup, making goofy faces in the mirror when your back is turned, trying to get Jimin to laugh and mess up all your hard work. He slides in when Jimin is done. He spends most of his time in the chair shouting across the room to Jimin, who is now having his hair done. You keep having to gently remind him to sit still.

The maknae is last. “Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He quietly introduces himself. He is really shy and barely says anything else to you as you do his makeup, but you can tell he is trying really hard to stay perfectly still, despite several attempts from the older members to distract him.

Once all of the boys are ready, their manager comes and rounds them up and you hear them running back down the hall to the dance studio laughing and joking. You breathe a sigh of relief and can’t fight back the smile that spreads across your face.

The first few weeks of working at BigHit are fantastic. The boys continue to warm up to you as you get to know them better. Namjoon loves talking with you in English, especially really quickly so his bandmates can’t follow what he’s saying. Of course, you can’t always follow what he’s saying either, but he is so thoughtful and full of ideas. Yoongi still often falls asleep, but he also now comes in with music recommendations for you and hands you the other ear of his headphones while you do his makeup. Hoseok continues to be your favorite, telling you all about his childhood, the audition and debut process, and filling you in on the latest gossip. Jimin and V continue to cause trouble, but are so adorable when they do that you can never stay mad at them. And Jungkook continues to be quiet and sit perfectly still in the makeup chair. He is so chatty with his bandmates that you are a little sad he isn’t more comfortable with you, but it does make his makeup easier to do than Taehyung’s.

Thoughts:

So there a lot of things here like it being her first day of work, her being nervous, and the mannerisms of the boys that would have been much better if I had showed them through dialogue, description, and physical mannerisms rather than telling them outright. It would have done a lot better job of placing the reader in the scene and would read as a bit less cringey. The last paragraph in this scene is particular egregious because instead of allowing the reader to see those relationships build over time and really invest us in those characters, I just summarize in one paragraph.

As a result, we get to the end of this scene and we know a lot of facts, but we don’t really have any good sense of who this character is or why we should care about her or empathize with her.

Excerpt Two: Opening Scene of Void

(Disclaimer: This is also not perfect, but it is much improved from the previous)

“Can you see them?”

You blink your eyes as you stare into the microscope, squinting against the bright light. You’ve been staring into this scope for two hours, searching for tiny signs of life.

“Maybe?” you reply. Your colleague leans in closer, close enough to smell his shampoo. Your eyes begin to water as you scour the field of view, checking each fleck of dirt for your prize. But again, you came up empty. “No, I don’t think so.”

You lean back in your chair, closing your eyes and rubbing them to relieve the strain. You didn't get much sleep last night. But you can’t bring yourself to complain to Hoseok.

He groans, standing up and twisting side to side. Your back aches in sympathy from bending over these finicky slides all morning. “We’re going to run out of samples.” The corners of his mouth pull down into a frown.

“We’ll run out of kerosene first,” you mutter. You look back through the lens one last time, hoping you missed something.

“They should have sent us with more.” Your fellow science officer stands up and walks over to chemical storage.

“Yeah, because large amounts of volatile organic liquids are a great thing to have on spacecraft." No one else on this ship would appreciate your joke. It’s not a good joke. But Hoseok humors you and gives you a small chuckle.

“Should we try an acid?” he suggests, as he examines the inside of the storage cabinet.

“Acetic?” He nods and scratches his chest as he fishes out the necessary bottle. He walks the acid back to your lab station and sets it down on the counter next to you.

He sighs and puts his hands on his hips, resuming his twisting back and forth. He clasps his hands together and does a long slow stretch upwards. Your eye catches on the sliver of exposed skin popping into view as his shirt rides up.

His smooth skin stretches across well-defined muscles, distracting your serious scientific mind. You lick your lips as you imagine how warm he would feel under your palm. You stare at the gap between his navel and the top of his pants. Not for the first time, you find yourself wondering what his skin tastes like.

“We should dilute it.” His shirt falls back down, breaking the spell. You look away, shaking your head, embarassed by your own lacivious thoughts. You’re a professional. A highly educated astronaut and scientist. You have a PhD, for god’s sake. Focus on the mission at hand.

“Yeah, we should.” You nod in confimation before standing up to get some glassware. “What concentration?”

As you turn around to reach the water tap, Hoseok moves to reach the tablet behind you. Your small lab is so narrow that you end up colliding with him. You bounce backwards off his body, cradling your beaker of water, headed straight back toward all of your ship’s glassware. You panic. Visions of shattering thousands of dollars of lab supplies fly through your head. But Hoseok catches you before you stumble into the cabinetry. You breathe a sigh of relief when you realize he’s got you in his arms.

“Fuck.” You smile. “Sorry, Hoseok.”

“It’s okay.” He laughs, shaking his head. “My fault.” His hands linger on you as you both chuckle. You feel the heat of his touch seeping through your jumpsuit.

Despite living in such tight quarters, it��s rare that you’re ever this close to him. You try to avoid physical contact with the crew out of self-preservation.

He smells good. Hoseok always smells good. While your ship smells mechanical and sterile, the man holding you smells warm and human. It’s comforting, but in a way that makes you ache with how you long to bury yourself in him.

Your colleague lets go of you and steps backwards, coughing into his shirt sleeve. He picks up the tablet and scrolls through your research materials. The warmth of his hands begins to fade from your shoulders. He finds the correct dilution factor and reads it out to you.

You measure out the appropriate amounts of acid mixing it with water. Hoseok retrieves another fragment of the meteoroid that you’re scouring for microorganisms. When he returns, you cover the sample with the acid, stopper the flask and set it to oscillate for a hour.

“Nothing to do now but wait.” You sit down on your stool and drum on your thighs. The idea of being alone with Hoseok for another hour fills you with nervous energy. It's a relief when he excuses himself to the bathroom.

It didn’t used to be this hard. When you started this mission two years ago, you had no problem being alone with any of your crew members. You were professionals doing a job together, and there wasn’t time or energy for idle sexual tension. But as the mission drags on, you have begun to feel more and more on edge. And it’s not only Hoseok. You are finding it harder and harder to be alone with any of the crew. When you spend all night fantasizing about someone, normal conversation becomes difficult.

You stare at the flask rocking back and forth on the counter and let your mind wander. You replay your previous clumsy moment. You imagine Hoseok catching you in his arms again, but this time you grab him and kiss him. You smell him and taste him and surround yourself in him. You close your eyes and follow the fantasy further. You imagine dropping to your knees and sucking him off up against the glassware cabinet. You imagine the way the lab equipment would clink as he bent you over the lab counter.

Hoseok returns, brandishing his tablet. “I got the new article from Geology on microfossils, if you want to take a look.” You sigh and nod.

Thoughts: So there is definitely some telling happening in this scene too. Telling is not always the worst thing in the world, although I wrote this scene nearly two years ago, so if I could go back and edit some of this out now I would. But what I want to point out here is how much information I convey without ever having to explicitly spell it out: we’re on a spaceship, the OC is a scientist with a crush on her colleague, she is touch-starved, they are searching for fossils, etc. And I think it does a much better job than the previous example at drawing the reader into the scene.

___

In general, here some good pointers for moving more in the showing direction:

1. Focus as much as you can on the present moment. What is your character thinking right now? What are they feeling? What information are they getting from their senses?

2. Use dialogue. Dialogue is a great way to show relationships between characters and fill in backstory without long paragraphs of just “telling” your readers stuff. Just be careful that it sounds like real dialogue and not exposition masquerading as dialogue. No one tells anyone their whole life story the first time they meet them or repeats information that the other person would obviously know.

3. Trust your readers to fill in the gaps. Readers are very good at picking up context clues. You don’t need to spell everything out for them. If you put them in the scene and describe the world around them well, they will figure out lots of things just from context.

Hope that helps! The only real solution is to play around with it and practice and see what you like. Good luck!

#on writing

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mickmarstookmyheart · 5 years

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Life's a Sick Joke pt 8

Pairing: Mick Mars x Reader

Would like to start from the very beginning? Great! Here is Part 1!

Sidenote: As this story is under construction, I would like to warn you that those chapters which don’t have a proper title are written in the main caharcter’s POV!! Be aware!!! Be awaaare! I hope you will enjoy this story as I did writing it, have a nice day and feel free to leave marks!

8. Those screams

You hardly spoke on the way to the hotel. You didn't cry or show any emotion. You just felt emptiness. Just a void. The guys were all cute, they wanted to cheer you up, they acted goofy and funny. Tommy even lift you and put on his shoulders so fear took the place of sadness. Mick asked you several times if he could help but you told him that hardly. To make things a bit better, at the next concert you could finally take photos of these boys.

"Glad you are working now. I hated that guy from the last shows. He put his camera right in my face!" Vince said as he adjusted his costume on himself. You were waiting backstage to start the show.

"Yeah, man. He was rude and annoying." Tommy added while drumming on your head with his sticks.

"We just missed our little photographer chick." Nikki winked and placed his arm around your shoulders. "Anyway, where is your alien? The show can start at any moment now."

"I don't know. I will go and find him." As you were walking down the corridor you bumped into Doc.

"Hey, kiddo. Sorry I didn't see ya. All the boys are there?" He asked smiling.

"Mick hasn't shown up yet but I'm on it." Before you could start searching again he stopped you.

"Anyway, how are you doing?"

He looked in your eyes, not wanting to hear any lies.

"I'm okay. It doesn't hurt much." You pointed at your wound.

"I'm not talking about that. The boys told me about your brother. If you need some more time off..."

"Boss, I'm okay. Working helps me distract my thoughts. I appreciate it really and thank you. Now if you excuse me, I have to find the lead guitarist."

"If you say so, kiddo. You know where to find me." He smiled and you kept walking. When you arrived in his changing room, you saw him sitting on the couch and he had his eyes closed. You closed the door and quietly walked over on your toes to him. He looked so calm and vulnerable. His breath was slow and his lips were slightly opened.

You placed your hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. He opened one of his eyes and his lips curved into a smile.

"I couldn't think of any better way to wake me up."

"I know you love sleeping but the show must go on. They need you up there."

He grabbed your waist and pulled into his lap, so you were facing him. He looked down, you thought he wanted to avoid eye contact. "What's up, Mick? Is there a problem?" He just shook his head as a no. "Look into my eyes, please." You put your fingers under his chin so you could look into his eyes. "Tell me what's wrong. I'm fed up with lies."

"I...I am afraid." Well, you didn't expect that.

"From what?"

"I am afraid to go up there and play music. Those screams and chaos are still in my head....and I can't get rid of them."

"Oh, Mick. I didn't know. I'm so sorry." You hugged him tightly. "But if this makes things better, Doc hired 20 more security guards. Also, he made me even to wear a bullet-proof vest! I hate it but he threatened me that he will fire me if I won't wear it." You giggled.

"Mmm. You made me curious about that vest. Can you show me?" You snickered and shook your head.

"We don't have time for that." He pouted. "BUT maybe after the show, we can straight go to the hotel so I could show you that vest."

"I would love that," Mick muttered before he placed a kiss on your lips. He hugged you once more and rubbed small circles on your back. "I love you."

"I love you, too. And please tell me if something is going on. I want at least you, to be honest with me." You pointed at his chest. "Okay?"

"Agreed. And I'm sorry."

"Now enough." You put your hand over his mouth. "Let's go and rock this stadium!"

∆

"ARE YOU READY GUYS?" Vince shouted into the microphone. The crowd cheered back and you joined, too, after taking some shots of the audience. You also took some closeups from each of the boys. Mick looked concerned and you were a bit worried about him. "But before we start the concert, we have to discuss some things. First of all, I think all of you know what happened two weeks ago. We lost 6 of us. 6 fans who were enjoying our concert when that terrible thing happened. I must tell you that we will pay all of their funeral costs as our condolences." The whole crowd moved as one person and clapped. It was quite moving, to be honest, you even had to wipe a tear from my cheeks, you weren't that sensitive person. "But there is one person whom without we wouldn't be here tonight. The girl that saved my life. (Y/N) Cooper everyone!" He pointed at you and now all the lights were on you. "Come on the stage!" Vince demanded, waving at you with a big smirk on his face. You just shook your head but the crowd started shouting your name over and over. Doc also insisted to go up there so you approached the side of the stage and Nikki helped you climb there. You adjusted my tee and walked over to Vince shyly. You didn't like being in the center. You glanced at Mick who was still not in this world, he completely zoned out. Vince gave you the microphone and winked. You paralyzed.

"What do you want me to stay?" You covered it so the fans couldn't hear it.

"Anything you want. Something encouraging or just a joke. Your decision." He stepped aside and gave a thumb up. Nikki and Tommy were staring at each other smiling.

"Khm. Okay so hello Everyone. Are you ready to rock?" The crowd answered with a big yes. "Happy to hear that. Cause these boys worked so much on this music. Also, I would like to take the opportunity to thank the plenty of other people whom you can't see but you can see the results of their hard work. So let's make some fucking noise for them, too!" The audience went wild again. Vince leaned closer and spoke in the microphone.

"Do you guys have any questions for this beautiful lady? AND you can't ask her out for a date cause she is off-limits. She is with our alien, Mick Mars." Mick finally looked up when he heard his name. He looked at Vince and thought how the hell did you get on the stage. Not knowing the situation he just waved his hand. "So if you have a question ask it now!"

"Really, Vinnie?" You whispered to him while giving him a look.

"So what made you save Vince?" A guy shouted. "We heard rumors that you two weren't really on speaking terms." You shared a look with Vince.

"Well, you are right. But now we are talking and become friends, I guess?" You glanced at him, smiling.

"Best friends." He corrected me.

"So back to the question. What would've you done in my situation? You are in the middle of chaos and you are running for someplace to be safe but then you see that someone is incapable of hiding. So I did what I could. And I think this accident or this 4 days at the hospital gave me some time to reconsider things. We don't have time to waste. We never know when will our time end. We have to live in the present. Do what you want. Travel a lot, make new friendships, and gain experiences. Get yourself a guitar and learn to play it, or learn how to knot, not giving a shit it is for grandmas. So that's it. Thank you, guys!" You gave back the microphone and walked off the stage waving after Nikki gave you a high-five.

"That was a hell of a speech," Doc added when you arrived beside him.

"Thanks, I guess. I'm not a speech person and I just only said the truth. Nothing extra."

"It was still motivating. By the way, do you know what wrong is with Mick? He looks he is not here." Doc asked worrying about him.

"Umm, he is just tired. He was sleeping when I found him. Guess, he needs some time to rest." You lied. You didn't know if you should tell him the truth.

"I hope so."

The show rocked! They were all freaking good and after a couple of songs, Mick returned and connected with the fans. He also glanced at you several times and you always gave an encouraging smile back to him. When you were standing at his side between the stage and the cordon he always bent down and acted goofy in front of the camera, giving you the usual Mars face which you adored so much. After 30 minutes and taking hundreds of photos, you walked back to Doc. It was quite exhausting and you weren't in your best shape. Your wound hurt like hell and you were clutching at your side.

"Feeling all right?" Doc asked with concern in his eyes.

"I think I need to sit down a bit that's all." You muttered.

"You need to lie down. Go back and rest. And that's an order."

"But...I just need someone to bring a chair here." You insisted.

"No. You are going back and I will watch over the boys. Nothing bad will happen, I promise." He placed his hand on your shoulder.

"Okay, you are right. But call me if something happens." You pointed at him before leaving.

"Okay."

"Tommy, you are gonna wake her up, man," Nikki warned Tommy.

"She will kill you, you know that, right? Well, I should kill you for that." Mick muttered.

"Calm down, she won't find out who it was," Tommy said continuing drawing on your face.

"Won't, huh?" You asked back opening your eyes widely. Tommy dropped the pen and screamed.

"Please don't kill me!!! It was Nikki. Anyway, it was Vinnie's idea! I'm not guilty!! Haha, what I smell? It's a burger? It must be, I will bring you guys some, bye!" After rapping his plea he exited the room. You sat up and flinched from the pain. It was more bearable now although. You slowly stood up and walked over to the mirror to see what this man drew on your face.

"Happy Halloween? Seriously?" You snapped.

"Don't worry, you can wash it off. Not a permanent marker." Mick added to calm you down.

"Nah, it's cool. At least he could draw a witch on my face, too!" You pouted which made all the others shock.

"What?" You picked the marker up, leaned closer to the mirror, and drew a pentagram on your cheek.

"Now, it's good."

"Wow, that's sick, dude!" Nikki snickered, Vince just stepped behind you and looked into your eyes in the mirror.

"(Y/N), I'm proud of you. And I must say you are a true artist." He said in a serious tone. Mick just rolled his eyes.

"Fucking teenagers."

You turned to him and approached him, sat in his lap, and put the marker inches away from his face.

"If you dare to draw on my face with that..." He tried to threaten you drifting his face as far as possible.

"What will you do, huh? Mr. Mars?" You smirked. "You want an alien? Or a guitar?" You asked smiling and looking into his eyes not moving the pen away.

"Ooohohh (Y/N) can I get a guitar, please?" Nikki pouted like a child.

"Of course, Sixx. Vinnie?" You glanced at the singer.

"Oh, no, thanks. I won't let my face ruined with that chemical thing." He waved his head, letting his hair fall back like a queen. You smirked at Mick and put a quick kiss on his lips.

"Be right back." You stood up and held the pen like a knife in your hand, pointing at Vince. You grinned at him who was stepping back and searched for the knob of the door.

"Don't come any closer, (Y/N)."

"Boo!" He screamed and left the room like T-Bone.

"Pussy." Nikki and you said at the same moment. You shared a look just before you high-fived.

Tags: @cmft-jr-winchester @leatherandheels @karrotkate

I don't know where this Halloween theme came from but if the world is upside down then my story can be upside down.

Next chapter

#motley crue #nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #80s music #80srock #mickmars #rocknroll #glam rock #mick mars #life's a sick joke #life is a sick joke #halloween #mick mars x reader #mick mars imagine #motley crue x reader #motley crue imagine

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bellatrixobsessed1 · 4 years

Text

The Final Agni Kai (A Terrible AU Fanfic that literally no one asked for!)

This was totally going to be the battle between Sie and Zuko in the cabbage fic but I couldn't pass having the fire siblings do this.

Summary: Agni Kai AU where instead of actually fighting the Agni Kai, Zuko and Azula play a monoply-uno hybrid from Hell.

The sky is heavy with smoke and an odor of sulfur. Sozin’s comet paints the mid-afternoon sky a shade of orange-red. Azula, stares up at said sky--she is daydreaming about just leaving everything behind to become a J-pop idol.

“By decree of Phoenix King Ozai, I now crown you Fire Lord…” But it is hard to do that when the fire sage keeps blabbing on and on. And it is twice as hard when a wild flying bison swoops into view. Suddenly feeling as though she has run out of time, she turns to the sage and asks, “What are you waiting for? Do it!”

Azula had been rather vague so he isn’t sure what he is supposed to just do. All he knows is that he can’t let his dreams just be dreams. Just do it! Azula’s voice echos in his mind. But in his mind she sounds more motivating than angry.

Appa lands in the courtyard and Zuko dramatically jumps off of him. “Sorry, but you're not gonna become Fire Lord today. I am.”

Azula laughs, “you're hilarious.”

“And you're going down.” Zuko informs her.

“That was my line.” Katara whispers.

“Sorry.” Zuko replies.

The fire sage, recalling Azula’s words--just do it!--begins to ignore the interrupting duo and brings the crown closer to Azula’s messy topknot.

She lifts a hand and then the rest of her body. “Wait!” And then to Zuko she says, “You want to become Fire Lord? Fine. Let’s settle this. Just you and me, brother. The showdown that was always meant to be. Monopl-uno!” She whips out a game board and a deck of cards and slaps them onto the ground.

“You're on!”

“What are you doing? She’s playing you. She knows she can't take us both, so she's trying to separate us.”

“I know. But I can take her this time.” Zuko declares.

“But even you admitted to your uncle that you would need help facing Azula.” Katara protests. Also she does not want to have to wait through a game of Monopoly, that game is boring as hell even if it is mashed together with Uno.

“There's something off about her, I can't explain it but she's slipping.” Zuko rubs his chin as he takes in the disheveled sight of his sister. Her hair is a mess and her eyes are tired. “Hmmm...can’t quite put my finger on it.” She flashes him an uncanny and feral smile. “Nope. No idea.” He makes his way across the courtyard.

He and Azula stand on opposite ends of the courtyard, kneeling as you do before beginning a game of monopl-uno. It is always best to start any board, card, or any kind of game by kneeling before your God and asking for protection lest the game transform itself into Jumanji and you find yourself stuck in a jungle forever.

This is what had happened to Jet. He has been stuck in the Foggy Swamp, which is also a jungle, ever since. He is now a backwater redneck. But this is no surprise being as he already liked to chew on straw prior to being transported into the jungle to live out the rest of his fuqboi existence.

“I'm sorry it has to end this way, brother.”

“No you're not.”

But she really is. She actually hates monopl-uno, in her foggy state of mind, she had momentarily forgotten this. But she cannot back out of this now. “I am so.” She whispers quietly.

“Are not.”

“Are too.”

“Are not.”

“Are to.”

“Are…”

Luckily Katara is there to get them back on track. The only thing more boring than Monopoly is reading approximately six pages of ‘are not’, ‘are too’. Even more boring than that is pre-algebra. Thank Raava, that math does not exist here. “Will you two just get on with it!?” She asks.

Azula passes out five uno cards and a fat stack of monopoly cash. For every green card, the player receives $500. For the blues the player gets $100. Yellow cards earn the player $50. And red earns the player $20. 10’s & 5’s are a free for all, Azula and Zuko snatch as many as they can. 1’s are distributed by wiping out a Candyland, whoever draws Queen Frostine gets to steal all of the 5’s. Azula bites Zuko as he reaches for the last one dollar bill. He retracts his hand quickly.

It settles in that Azula is losing her shit.

If no one draws Queen Frostine by the game’s end then the 1’s burst into flames and are claimed by the void that manifests itself as a third player in the form of a sentient piccolo, that plays truly awful covers of Rammstine’s Du Hast and Smashmouth’s All Star the whole time.

With dread, Azula notes that, “Colonel Mustard has murdered Mrs. Scarlett with a candlestick in the billard room.”

Zuko grips his head in stress, knowing that this means that Azula has to move her gingerbread man to the next purple square. This ends the game.

No one has drawn Queen Frostine.

The 1’s burst into flames and a piccolo rises.

The first notes of Du Hast echo through the courtyard, terribly off key.

Katara has a wicked urge to puncture her own earholes just to end the madness.

Why did Colonel Mustard have to murder her with a candlestick. If he would have just used the wrench then they might have had a chance to draw Queen Frostine!

Far, far off in the distance Sokka, Suki, and Toph fight a different kind of battle. They play Battle Ships, but they use actual ships. Except the ships are not water ships but airships and they are in the sky and the bombs are real.

Suki is uncomfortable with this.

It is Toph’s time to shine. She can use echolocation to cheat.

Aang and Ozai also fight. But their fight is different. It is a battle of wit. They have chosen several popular debate topics including women’s rights, religion, which economic model to follow, and whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza.

Pineapple does not belong on pizza.

Neither does cheese, because cheese is gross.

In fact, pizza does not belong on pizza because pizza is gross and no matter what Aang is still a vegan and Aang is not sure if a good vegan should be eating pizza.

Iroh finds himself a tall mountain and yodels atop it until the militia stationed at Ba Sing Se submit.

But none of this is as important as Azula declaration, “go fish!”

Zuko cusses and picks up a goldfish. He curses again. Drawing a goldfish means that he has to pull a block from the jenga tower and that rickety thing is already very close to collapsing. Azula smirks as he nears an old and vacant house in Capital City. It is the same one that they have been stealing boards from since they were children.

It is on its last legs.

A bead of sweat drips down Zuko’s forehead as he tugs at the board. The whole house bobs precuriously. Azula and Katara take several huge steps back. They, in fact, stand approximately one-hundred feet from the building, which is a safe number when practicing social distancing.

Zuko yanks the board free and the building groans. He clenches his jaw. But the building remains up right.

“Ha! Take that, Azula!” He says loudly. The building shakes at the sudden noise and it topples. He has done this to himself. Now he has to draw six more uno cards and one more go fish card.

“So, how have you been?” Zuko makes small talk as they walk back to the coronation courtyard.

Azula thinks that it is a stupid question, she is obviously in a state of mental torment. “Oh, I’m fine.” She replies nonchalantly.

“Yeah, me too.” He replies. “I read this really cool book the other day.”

Azula hasn’t, she has been stress eating cherries and pacing around her bedroom. “I read one too.” She lies.

“Which one.”

“Oh...you’ve never heard of it. It’s a really underground novel.”

They reach the courtyard, Zuko draws his uno and go fish cards. It is still his turn so he rolls the dice. “Yahtzee!” He declares and Azula flinches. She moves her gingerbread man to an orange square and picks up a trivial pursuit card. She relaxes a little, upon remembering that she is a trivial pursuit expert.

“What’s the tallest piece on a chessboard?” Katara reads the card.

Azula rolls her eyes, this is an easy one. “It is the King.”

Zuko Googles the answer just to be sure that Azula isn’t lying again.

Katara winces, “correct.”

Azula flashes a smug smile as she passes go and collects $200. She is glad that she did not have to answer a Guess Who question. Those always throw her off.

Zuko stands up, it is his turn. He throws down a green skip. This time Azula curses. He then throws down a green reverse card so it is his turn again. Azula snarls. He realizes that he has no more green cards so he picks up a Go Fish card. It is an angelfish. Angelfish act as substitutes for yellow cards so he is stuck with it. Having none of her own, but having the mindstate of one, Azula literally turns herself into a wildcard and flops down onto the deck. She changes it to blue.

She always changes it to blue.

She has no blue cards, but she never changes it to anything but blue.

She reclaims her human form and draws a Go Fish card.

It is a clownfish.

Which makes sense because she played herself (clownfish substitute red cards only), she is the clown in this situation.

Zuko smirks and throws down a blue seven.

Azula is about to throw down a blue three, when Zuko brazanly shouts. “No draw fours today? What’s the matter, afraid I’ll reverse it!?”

“Oh! I’ll show you a draw four!” Azula shouts. She lifts her blue drawfour as well as four scrabble tiles--one for each letter of her name, except she is missing the ‘u’ so instead she has Azla--and powers her draw four up with them.

A is the first letter of the alphabet so Zuko has to not only draw four cards but another two extra. And since Z is the last letter he also has to draw twenty-six extra cards. By this time the deck has run low so he has to pick up a twelve of spades which amounts to twelve green uno cards.

To figure out what number each represents they must spin the twister spinner and consult the magic eight ball.

“Nooooo!” Zuko screams as she throws the cards down.

Katara bites her cheek. She doesn’t like cheating to win, but she is pretty sure that Azula had swapped out her ‘u’ scrabble tile for a ‘z’ while Zuko was messing with the Jenga tower. So she doesn’t think too much of it when she completes Zuko’s Connect Four line.

“Zuko!” She yells. “You forgot to say, ‘I’ve united the four!’”

Zuko pumps his fist and says. “I’ve united the four!” This nullifies the power up Azula has used on her draw four. It balances out so he only has to draw four uno cards.

Azula’s face bunches up in disgust as she gives the twister spinner a flick.

Right hand on blue.

She places her right hand on blue and the twister board tells her to move her top hat to the chance square. Katara picks up the chance card and reads “go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.”

Azula blinks several times. She is trapped, with nowhere to go. She sadly makes her way over to the grate, overwhich they have constructed a jail out of a cardboard box. The word ‘JAIL’ (though Zuko accidentally spelled it ‘JAYL’ at first so that was crossed off and ‘JAIL’ is written beneath it) is written in big red marker. Katara doodled a star under it in pink gel pen.

Azula sadly lifts the box and sits under it, clutch her knees to her chest as Zuko passes go, collets his $200, and uses it to buy a candyland card. A smile lights up his face, he has drawn Gramma Nut! That means he gets to discard exactly three uno cards.

He sets them on fire and shouts “uno!”

He throws his remaining card, a blue five, onto the deck.

From within her jail cell, Azula shrieks. She sets the jail on fire, marches up to the unused chessboard, flips it over, and throws the pieces at Zuko “I hate this game! This is a stupid fucking anyways!”

Zuko and Katara slap each other high five. Unbeknownst to them, Momo swoops down. “But you forgot to play Bop It before saying uno, which means that your victory is null.”

Zuko slaps his forehead.

Azula’s eyes grow wide.

This means only one thing…

One terrible thing…

Azula swallows as she removes Don’t Wake Daddy from the box. The siblings stare at each other. If at any point, daddy wakes up, Ozai will materialize before them and win the game. “Here, you do it!” Zuko says to Azula. She very carefully takes the tweezers and as steady as she can, attempts to extract the wrench representing the funny bone.

But Azula is already shaken from her loss and the stress of losing her friends. She accidently touches the rim and the game buzzes.

She and Zuko weep as they both take turns pressing the alarm clock. Daddy springs up and Ozai appeared before them to reclaim his Fire Lord crown. In leaving his debate, Aang has automatically won. Ozai’s bending yanks itself from his body, as he had bet it before the debate started. Aang cheers!

Another airship explodes as Toph cackles.

Ozai begins to weep for he might be the Fire Lord again, but he has no fire.

Neither Zuko nor Azula are the Fire Lord. They both hug each other and cry as Katara plugs her ears.

The piccolo still plays Rammstine.

Ozai also cries because, even though he is Fire Lord in title, no one is going to listen to him since he is a non-bender. The Fire Nation will fall into anarchy unless the siblings can work something out.

Aang also weeps because her realizes that, Ozai is still the Fire Lord so he is still going to have to defeat him somehow.

Truly, nobody has won here.

Nobody except Iroh and Toph.

#Avatar #Azula #Zuko #Agni Kai #Katara #Alternate Universe #Fanfiction

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chocafe · 6 years

Text

for you — bang yedam

summary: by mistake, you took yedam’s notebook that just so happens to be filled with songs written about you. genre: fluff pairing: shy!yedam x reader request: “can you do a fluffy yedam scenario? about songwritings and stuff, i would love it :') thank u so much, i love your writing a lot! <3 oh and the yedam scenario can be a bullet scn please? thank uuuu <33″ a/n: i based this scenario off of a prompt i found on google, which was, “i’m not stalking you, exactly, it’s just that you accidentally put my notebook in your bag and i’m waiting for a good moment to steal it back before you see my doodles in it.” instead, i replaced doodles with the songs yedam has wrote. i apologize for any mistakes you may find in this since i didn’t proofread this!

if someone was to ask you if you knew yedam, then you would respond back with, “yes, i do.”

you know yedam, but that’s as merely as it gets

you didn’t know much about yedam

and despite you two sitting next to each other in class

the most you two have ever said to each other were “did you do the homework?”, “how did you get that answer?”, and possibly other quotes similar to this as it all only revolves around school

once the school bell rang throughout the campus, dismissing everyone from class, you always found yourself rushing yourself to put all of your belongings back into your backpack

you didn’t want to spend a single extra second in this cold building

i can relate

on the other hand, yedam tends to take his time

he has a more calmer state and doesn’t mind spending a few extra minutes at school

as you scrambled yourself and your belongings, yedam stood there completely frozen like a stone, not knowing what to do in that very second

right in front of yedam’s eyes, he caught you mistakenly grabbing a hold of his notebook as you placed it into your backpack

after safety putting everything in, you quickly zipped up your backpack and walked right out of the classroom

you have had confused yedam’s notebook as yours because you both had similar notebooks and it was also slightly hovering over on your side of the desk

idk about you guys but i get slightly annoyed when the person next to me has their stuff on my desk like even if its just a little bit im like hhhhhh

when yedam finally comprehended what had just happened, a small little “uh, wait.” fell out of his mouth

but it sure wasn’t loud enough for you to hear it as you have already left

“what am i going to do?” yedam asked himself as his palms became clammy

if there was anything in the world that yedam didn’t want to happen

then it would be you to read his notebook

he immediately grabs his backpack and runs outside the building, attempting to follow you in this panic state

yedam continued to follow you, from a distance, down the sidewalk as you casually made your way home

at first, he wanted to approach you and tell you what actually happened, but he’s waaaay too embarrassed to possibly start a conversation with you

he can’t even imagine a conversation happening between you two because he views it as something just “out of this world”

“should i just secretly open their backpack and steal back my notebook?” yedam quietly says to himself, tapping his index finger on the tip of his chin

“no, that’s stealing.” he shook his head. “actually, it wouldn’t be because it’s my notebook after all.”

as he was trying to decide how he should exactly approach you, he didn’t realize that he has been following after your footsteps for approximately ten minutes

suddenly, you stopped walking and began to shout out “whoever you are, i know you’re following me.”

yedam pauses and contemplates whether or not he should run back home

he’s definitely not a stalker!!! but come on, yedam, you are following someone and that’s the same action as a stalker

you reach into your backpack and pull out mysterious object as you spun around “I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY, SO BACK OFF.”

[birds] caw... caw... caw...

this is absolutely awkward

you found yourself standing and pointing your pepper spray at yedam, who was just as baffled as you

“yedam?” at the speed of light, you moved your hands and pepper spray behind your back as you start to chuckle to cover up what just occurred. “i’m sorry. let’s pretend that didn’t happen, alright?”

“o-okay.”

the two of you stood in front of one another

both of you were waiting for the other say something, but not a single word was coming out of either of your guys mouths

“the thing is—” yedam tries his best to spark up his previous thoughts, but he was unexpectedly cut off by you as you tried to speak at the same time

“are you also walking home?” a sudden shock was sent through yedam’s nerve system as you spoke up

“i’m sorry!” you apologize for cutting him off. “what was it that you were going to say?”

yedam’s mind: hmmmmm to awkwardly tell them that i was going to steal my notebook back from them? or to lie and say that my house is this way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

who knew that lying would be this easy?

“it’s nothing.” yedam brought his hand up to shyly rub his nape. “yeah, i’m also on my way home. i live just down the street.” he pointed down the pathway, releasing a chuckle to hide the uneasiness in his voice

“i didn’t know that you lived down here too! i thought i was the only one in the whole school who lived over here.” your voice raised up a pitch as you were completely thrilled to know that someone lives nearby you. “well, since we’re in this situation, should we continue to walk home together?”

“s-sure.” yedam stutters, walking a few steps closer to you

the two of you began walking beside with one another

it was a pretty silent trip, but you decided that it was time to break the silence

“yedam, you’re alright with me walking with you, right?”

yedam brought his head up, since he was originally staring at the ground, and raised an eyebrow. “of course. why wouldn’t i be?”

“i don’t know.” you slightly tilted your head before continuing on. “i just had a feeling that you didn’t like me since we never talk in class, despite us sitting next to each other.”

him?? not liking you???

sweetie, it’s the other way around

ᴬᴬᴬᴬᴴᴴᴴᴴ yedam wanted to scream

but right now isn’t the appropriate time to do so

“n-no, that’s not it!” he began to wave his hands back and forth in the air. “it’s just hard for me to talk sometimes. please, don’t misunderstand.”

your lips crept into a soft smile because you were so relieved to find out that he doesn’t hate you as you originally thought. “that makes me feel so much more better.”

yedam saw your smile and he could’ve swore he forgot how to breathe for a second

since it was 100% clear that yedam didn’t dislike you, you couldn’t help, but to ask him so much questions regarding about him

you wanted to get to know him, not as the boy who sits next to you in class

but as bang yedam, the individual human being who you were so curious about

maybe you didn’t notice this

but the two of you were walking in a much slower pace than usual

perhaps, you both wanted this conversation to last forever

as the time pasts by and the conversation between you two continued

you both come across a convenience store

“hey,” you say as you lightly pulled on yedam’s uniform sleeve. “let’s go inside here. i’ll buy you whatever you want!”

“i’m okay, really!”

as the two of you enter the convenience store, you push yedam into an aisle and declare “go pick out something. i won’t take no for an answer!”

he complies to your wish and walks over to the back freezers and picks out a can of iced coffee

“coffee? at a time like this?” you suddenly ask into yedam’s ears, causing him to startling jump. “do you need to stay up late or?”

“yeah, i think tonight is going to be a restless night for me, so i might as well get this.” he says as you both make your way towards the cash register

“what are you going to do? stay up all night long by just staring at the wall?” you jokingly comment, placing a bag of chips and soda onto the counter as yedam does the same with his iced coffee

yedam begins to laugh alongside with you. “i’m probably going to write some songs.”

you mouth falls wide open as you gasp. “you write songs? you should write a song about me!” you playfully nudge him in the arm. “i’m just kidding.”

before yedam could say anything in response, the cashier cuts him off, “the total is $5.25.”

as you pull out your wallet, yedam slams the exact total onto the counter, grabs his drink and proceeds to walk out of the store

“hey!” you scream out loud as you retrieve your snacks. “i said that i was going to pay.”

“my treat?”

“fine, but just so you know, i’m paying next time.” you stubbornly say. “should we get going?”

“my house is actually this way.” yedam points towards the opposite way from your direction

his house isnt actually that way but its now the nearest way he can take to get back home bc he lied to you and said he lived in the area when really he lives on the other side

“ah, i see.” you bring your hand up to cheerfully wave him goodbye. “i’ll see you tomorrow then! (✿◠‿◠)”

yedam did the same in return and mimicked your wave goodbye, smiling at you one last time before he walked down the pathway

the two of you were now out of one another’s eye sight

while yedam was walking back home, he suddenly stopped himself, squatted down and covered his face with the palm of his hands as he screamed out into the void,

“I FORGOT MY NOTEBOOK”

“oh my god.” you stood in front of your bed, wondering why you had two of the same notebook

one of the notebooks must be yours, but who’s notebook was the other way?

was it yoonbin’s?

no, you remembered he didn’t have anything with him when you saw him during lunch

was it keita’s?

it can’t be because all of keita’s notebooks were all neon pink

you opened the mystical notebook and found ‘bang yedam’ written on the very first page

you fell directly onto your knees and clenched tightly onto yedam’s notebook. “right when i thought things were going well- he’s going to accuse me of stealing his notebook and hate me foR THE REST OF HIS LIFE”

for some reason, you were so curious as to what yedam has in his notebook

did he use his notebook for notes just like you?

or did he use it for something completely different?

curiosity was running through your head and eventually took over you

if yedam is going to hate you in the future then might as well snoop into his notebook since ur already losing ya’know

when you opened his notebook, you found that each page was filled with endless writings

you came to a conclusion that they were all self composed song lyrics, made by the one and only bang yedam, since he did mention that he likes writing songs on his free time

as you read each page, you became totally immersed in the whole thing as you viewed each of his lyrics as brilliant

in no time

you found a page where the title had your name written on top

“huh?” you blurted out when your eyes laid upon your name written in yedam’s handwriting. “is this about me?”

you had discovered that yedam had wrote a song about you

the following song described the wall between you two, that yedam wished he had the power to take down, but simply doesn’t, so he’ll just continue to admire you from afar

tldr: it’s a song about him having a crush on you

“does??? yedam??? have a crush??? on me???”

of course you dense egg head

your heart began to pound, but you decided that it was time for you to end this spying as you close his notebook and store it back into your backpack

you had felt like you were invading his privacy and inner thoughts

but at the same time

you actually quite enjoyed it

the very next day, yedam and you were both uneasy, due to different reasons

you were afraid that yedam would hate you and accuse you of stealing (when really you accidentally grabbed it by mistake)

on the other hand, yedam was afraid that you read his song dedicated to you (revealing his hidden crush for you)

when you arrived to class, you quietly sat in your seat and slid yedam’s notebook towards his side of the desk

the first thing that escaped your mouth was, “i’m sorry.”

yedam’s hands became unsteady as he gulped in excessive saliva. “did you happen to read it?” he confusingly asks, grabbing a hold of his notebook

“yeah, i’m sorry.” you repeat yourself, not adding anything more into your sentence

this was it

yedam had thought you were saying sorry because this was your way of politely rejecting him

but actually ! ! !

you were apologizing because you were truly sorry for taking and reading his prized possession

“i see.” yedam mutters underneath his breath, avoiding your eye contact

he didn’t have the guts to even breathe in the same air as you

“yedam,” you follow up, closing the space in between you two as you scoot your seat closer to him. “are you free this saturday?”

#i hate writing titles because I SUCK ASS #yedam #bang yedam #yedam scenario #yedam scenarios #yedam imagine #yedam imagines #ygtb #yg treasure box #yg treasure box scenario #yg treasure box scenarios #yg treasure box imagine #yg treasure box imagines #ygtb imagine #ygtb scenario #bang yedam scenario #bang yedam imagine

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lavenderbones22 · 6 years

Text

Dark Paradise- Ben Hardy

Summary: Ben's girlfriend is one of the most famous singers in the world. What happens when one night his jealousy gets the better of him?

Requested: 'hiii 💖could you please write something angsty with Ben where the reader is a celebrity, paparazzis and fans follow her all the time and Ben gets mad bc he just wants to be alone with her and he's not used to all of that and they get into an argument? Thank u, have a nice day :)'

Word Count: 2963

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She lived for the attention. She loved the way her name sounded when it was shouted throughout an entire arena. She loved the signs her fans would make, holding them up amongst thousands of people hoping for a chance to be seen. She loved hearing her lyrics sung back to her; so deep and so personal.

She wasn't narcissistic, no, quite the opposite actually. Although she exuded an intense confidence when she stood in front of the microphone, the second she came off of that stage she morphed back into the girl she really was. That girl wasn't weak nor was she self demoralising. She was just a portion of the woman she tried to portray to her audience; someone who was strong enough to live this life and void of pain from the things said about her.

She'd sung since she could talk. Her mother alway said that she could never get her to stop once she knew how and that memory always made her smile. She was addicted to Sing Star, her friends never understanding how she was so good and they were not. It was something that just came natural to her, something she didn't think twice about.

She had thought twice about a lot of things in her life and along with singing, her boyfriend Ben was another. Having met two years ago and shortly after entering into an exclusive relationship, Ben had quickly become her second vice. She wasn't known when they met, he more familiar to the public due to his character on Eastenders. In the two years they'd been together her career had grown, thrusting her full force into a farfetched level of fame that she had only ever dreamed about.

And although she had work commitments most days, more times than not often taking her out of London, her relationship with Ben still continued to blossom.

Ben always remembered the moment he met her as clear as day. They were in a coffee shop, her arms full from the orders of everyone in her office; she was the new receptionist. She had nearly dropped the tray but lucky for her Ben's reflexes were on point and he was able to stop them from falling out of her arms.

"Thank you," her voice was sweet as she looked into the eyes of the blonde boy.

"S'alright," he'd responded, helping her put the coffees back in their original spots. "D'ya need any help?" He couldn't stop himself from looking at her pink, plump lips as she licked them unintentionally.

"Erm, I'm fine thank you." The way she had looked at him, as if begging him to say something more. The lip bite too, was what proceeded to made him weak at his knees and what followed was totally out of character for him.

"Well then, I'd really like to see you again. Can I have your number?"

And that was it.

Weeks later they were dating exclusively, neither second guessing the speed at which they were moving in their relationship. They figured if it felt right, so why not?

Lately though, Ben had been feeling aggravated. He loved his girl more than anything but that was just the problem. He loved her and he wanted to spend all the time with her that he could but so did everybody else in the entire world. She was being pulled constantly from pillar to post and trying to please everyone and of course Ben saw that, he saw just how hard she tried to balance all the aspects of her life but that didn't make it any easier on him and how he felt.

He was busy too though, filming 'Bohemian Rhapsody' where he was playing rock legend, Roger Taylor. She'd only managed to visit him on set once. And that once was basically her socialising with his co-stars who at the time hadn't realised she was dating Ben and naturally all freaked the fuck out.

He loved seeing that side of her. He knew why everyone loved her, she was an incredible person. But he wanted her to himself. Was that so bad?

Just last week he'd organised a date night at her favourite restaurant in London. Not only were they followed from the car to the restaurant by the incessant snaps and calls of the paparazzi, but during their dinner the paparazzi were pressed up against the window constantly taking photos. The pair ended up moving tables where they weren't seen but by then, they had both had enough and taken the back door exit .

"Ben?"

Her voice rang through the home they shared in Chelsea.

"Are you home?"

Putting her Louis Vuitton bag down on the kitchen table, she went to the fridge and poured herself a glass of iced tea.

"Babe?" She called again.

"'m here," he responded lazily, walking in from the study.

"Why'd you not answer me the first time?" She questioned him, rinsing her glass and putting it away.

"Sorry, I was concentrating." He typed away at his phone. She frowned. "Was going over some lines."

She could sense he was acting a bit off. Usually being so affectionate and attentive to her, kissing her almost immediately when she walked in the door. Unpacking some things their housekeeper had bought from the grocery store, her eyes remained on him as he hadn't yet looked up from his phone to even acknowledge her.

She let it go a few moments, maybe she was overreacting. But after at least five minutes had passed and zero interaction on his end, she had to say something.

"What's going on?"

He looked up at her, finally. His green eyes, usually bright and igniting, were dull.

"Nothin'."

She rolled her eyes at his mediocre response. "I don't appreciate being lied to Ben." The air around them was beginning to tense, the low sounds of 'The Doors' playing from the study where he'd been inhabiting the past two hours was the only thing making the situation at present even slightly bearable.

"I literally only said nothin'" he scoffed with a smirk on his face she wanted to slap right off. He pulled a chair out and sat at the table, face glued to his phone once more.

"No need to be condescending," she sighed. "You're being a dick, Ben. Have you got a problem with me?" It saddened her. She knew they were about to get into an argument, something they never did.

"I've barely spoken since you got in," he laughed arrogantly. "How am I being a dick?"

"It's the way you're talking Ben!" Her voice was getting louder. He was being impossible. "You're speaking to me like I'm a piece of shit on the ground." She slammed the fridge door after having put the milk inside.

"Calm." His tone insinuated he was mocking her.

He knew he was being an ass to her; it was purposeful. Although he knew none of what was going on was her fault, she was simply the only person he had to take it out on. And besides, she could try a little harder with their relationship. To put it simply, Ben felt second, heck, he felt one hundredth best in her life right now.

"If you speak to me in that tone one more time, I'm leaving." She knew he thought her threat was an empty one. She even thought that maybe it was but she also knew that she had so many other places to go if Ben wasn't going to treat her right.

"You're not leaving," he put his phone down on the table and looked at her. She looked like she was about to burst into tears. Shit. Now he felt bad.

"If you're not going to speak to me in the way that I deserve then I will leave Ben. Don't tempt me, because I'll get my shit and I'll be out of here so fucking fast." She could feel the tears brimming the corners of her eyes and she was desperately trying to avoid his big eyes that were now heavily set on her.

"Stop acting like I'm some sort of abusive bastard," his accent was pronounced like it usually was when he spoke sternly, something she usually found charming, but not when it was directed at her. "I treat you like a queen and you know it!"

"Then talk to me Ben!" She yelled, gesturing her hands at the blonde boy. "Tell me what the fuck is going on inside of your head because although I know you like the back of my hand I can't read your mind so I really need you to help me out here!" Her voice was breaking as she spoke to him. The tears having already fallen down her cheeks.

His anger had dispersed and made way for his guilt. He hadn't stopped to think that maybe all of this was getting to her too.

"I just miss you," he spoke lowly.

She raised her brows. "You miss me?"

He nodded. "You always have everybody wanting your attention. I never feel like I get to have you to myself anymore. There’s always paparazzi or fans or friends or whoever the fuck else," he explained. “I just miss the days when it was you and me against the world.”

Her heart broke a little at what he was telling her."Why haven't you told me you felt like this sooner?" She was stood beside the table where he was still sat in one of the chairs.

"No clue honestly. I guess I'm just not as used to all of this as you are."

"You need to speak up Ben. Because if you don't tell me I can't try and change anything," she pulled the chair out opposite to him and sat down. "Besides, you're going to have to get used to this sort of attention yourself once the movie's out," she smiled. "The girls will go crazy for you."

"Yeah, right," he laughed. "Not likely."

The two shared a moment in laughter. Both feeling more relaxed now that the worst seemed to be over.

"We okay?" She asked him, leaning across the table and grabbing his hands in hers. "I love you. It’s still us against the world. Always will be."

"We're fine," he smiled, his green eyes lighting up again like they always did when he looked at her. "And I love you too."

She took this moment to get up and sit on his lap. "You know what..." her voice had lowered now, sultry.

"What?" His hand was on the top of her ass rubbing lovingly. Hers both around his neck as she looked down at him.

"I'm not busy now..."

Ben certainly wasn't a miss to her suggestion, picking up what she was laying down right away. He pulled her onto his body fully, her legs sitting either side of his muscular thighs as he began to ravage her neck

"Well you will be in a second," his lips against her skin felt like heaven, hands rubbing her full ass that was covered in her tight jeans. She started rubbing herself against him by moving back and forth, feeling him grow underneath her as the pressure between them became more taut.

His mouth was attached to hers in a hot kiss, tongues messy, moans slipping wildly from each of their mouths.

Breaking the kiss, Ben pulled away looking over her gorgeous face.

"You are so beautiful." He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose. She giggled. Then he kissed her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too," She replied, her hand on his neck, their foreheads against one another.

Ben had a way of making her feel like she was the only girl on the planet. That was why her reaction to his behaviour the last little while was so dramatic; it was completely out of character for him. Whenever they were together, which was most of the time, she always felt safe, protected, desired but most of all she felt loved. He was her number one, her partner in crime. So naturally, when one feels that beginning to strain stress levels rise.

She tilted her head back and moaned loudly as his teeth dug into the skin of her neck.

"That's right baby, be as loud as you need to be," he coaxed her. He loved it when she screamed, let him and the neighbours know who was making her feel so good.

Her fingers clenched onto the fabric of his t-shirt on his shoulders while his big hands gripped tightly at her hips. She started to grind against him harder, he was practically fully hard now. He groaned loudly as the pressure between their bodies was at an all time high; she needed him naked as soon as possible.

"Take this off," she demanded, running her hands up his stomach against his hot skin and helping him pull his t-shirt off. "I just don't understand why you even wear shirts," she giggled eyeing the muscles that moved underneath his skin. She certainly didn't miss the enlarged veins running along his forearms.

"I just don't understand why you do either," he retorted with his hands immediately underneath hers, t-shirt and ripping it over her head. His lips were along her collarbone, licking, biting, sucking and she drove her nails into the skin of his back. He groaned, Ben loved it when she left marks across his back.

He moved his hands behind her back and unclipped her bra, it falling down beside them. His mouth was on her nipple without a thought. She arched her back so he had a bit more room and had her hand behind his head holding him in place. His tongue flicked and bit down creating more noises from her. Ben had always been a boobs guy, often telling her that hers were one of his favourite parts of her body.

Hands moving up her body slowly, pulling her into him as he devoured one breast then the next. This man could virtually bring her to orgasm by simply doing that.

"Fucking hell your tits!" He growled, pulling away and kissing her passionately again. "They'll be the death of me," he chuckled.

A smirk and a hand along his waistband brought his attention elsewhere.

She opened his jeans , his erection already rebelling against its restrains. Pulling them down along with his underwear she freed his huge cock, the veins already prominent and thick, and she began to jerk it.

"Mmm, let me..mmm," he could barely get a sentence out with her fingers around him like they were. He didn't need to vocalise what he wanted; she knew.

"Here," she released him for a second while she pulled her underwear down and over her legs, throwing them away. "Better?" she smirked.

"Much better," a contented smile on his face.

She inhaled sharply when she felt his finger against her wet folds. He pushed it in, curling it at exactly the right spot, causing her to squeal. Pinching her clit hard, she gripped him tighter and let out a small shriek. He moaned against her lips before kissing her hard and sliding two of his long fingers into her pussy. She let herself sink forward, not being able to support her own weight anymore, and she moaned against his neck while she continued to jerk him.

"Make up sex is so hot,"he groaned, hardly able to keep concentrated on her, but still alert enough to keep fucking her with his fingers.

Their foreheads rested against each other while they both moaned, enjoying the moment of intimacy after such heated words and stressful situations. "Me too," she groaned when he rubbed the palm of his hand against her clit and added a third finger.

That was the moment he chose to retrieve his fingers and put them in his mouth, sucking them clean. "Fuck, you taste good baby." A fresh set of goose bumps ran down her spine and arms. This man was the king of turning her into a melting mess. She smiled at his comment and directed his face to her own, kissing him with all that she had.

He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her back, sucking on her lower lip, rubbing his nose against hers.

She jerked his dick softly in a circular fashion and kissed him, licking his tongue. "I love you so much... so fucking much," she murmured between kisses and she felt him smile against her lips. "I'm sorry for making you feel forgotten." His hands settled down on her hips, lifting her up a little.

"Don't worry about it," he reassured her "But I love you more darlin'," he grinned and positioned her over his erection. "Ready?"

"Born ready," she announced happily and moaned while he sank her down on his erection. His dick practically pierced into her small body. She was sure that if she took her hand out of Ben's hair, she could feel him in her belly. He increased the pressure on her hips and started to move her up and down his cock, causing him to groan and to start panting.

"Oh fuuuuuck," he moaned with an open mouth and big eyes. She absolutely loved the way he moaned so freely and loudly. He ran his hands through her long hair and moved with her, pushing his dick into her. "Oh fuck, you feel good. My beautiful girl you feel fucking good..."

Her fingers were tangled in his hair as she bounced up and down. Not so soft sounds falling out of me like raindrops from the sky.

"I'm nearly there," she warned him. "So close."

He gripped her tighter, knuckles white, as he brought her to her orgasm. Loudly, she tightened around his cock, her juices coating him nicely. That feeling brought his own orgasm on rather quickly, shooting into her before he knew what was what.

There was no mistaken that make up sex was indeed one of the best.

"Fuck babe," he laughed as he dropped his sweaty forehead against her shoulder. "Such a good fuck."

"And remember," she put her fingers underneath his chin to make him look at her. "No one else gets me like this. Only you Mr Hardy."

TAG LIST: @fuckinghurricanesoul @spidreling @tanya-is-dead @ziggysstarrdust @screaminggalileochickenwrites @galileoqueen-mama-mia @mortifiedmoon @softbenhardy

#ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy smut #queen fanfic #queensmut

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iamnotawomanimagod · 5 years

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2019 Retrospective Survey

Once upon a time, in the wayback ancient days of yesteryear, aka 2006 or so, people would fill out little self-important surveys about themselves almost every night on Myspace. These surveys were then posted to your profile via a “bulletin” and could be perused by your friends at their leisure.

Eventually, this phenomena evolved into what we now know as “ask games” - people taking these surveys and, instead of just filling them out, reblogging them in the hopes that their followers might grow curious enough to send in some numbers.

Well, to that evolution of this tradition, I say - pah! I’ll answer all these questions and you’ll like it!!

Or you’ll skip it, which is probably the reasonable thing to do. This is mostly for me, so I have some vague record of this year to look back on, which I’ve been bad about the past several years.

1. First things first, did you have a good year?

It’s kind of tough for me to discern what is good and bad, anymore, especially when it comes to my life experiences. Things kind of just “are.” I think I had a pretty good year overall, though, if I step back and look at it, and ignore my mental health and those other niggling little details.

2. How old did you turn this year?

Twenty-eight. Getting up there. I’ve been doing some version of these surveys since I was like, fourteen. That’s fourteen years of random, unnecessary internet void-shouting.

3. Do you feel your age?

Not really. When I was younger, I definitely thought 28-year-olds always had their shit together, automatically, just because of the age. Like it feels like an age where I really should’ve outgrown a lot of things. But I haven’t yet, not at all, and I have zero interest in conventional adulthood.

Did your appearance change in anyway?

I got new glasses, because I lost my old ones in Hawaii.

Post your favorite selfie.

I rarely like selfies where I smile, so even though this one is clearly some goofy cheesin’, I still consider it kinda special.

If you traveled, where did you go?

I went to a place called Monroe, in Utah, which has some amazing hot springs. Slept overnight in a converted hippie bus. It was freezing (if you weren’t in the springs), but really fun!

I also went to Maui, Hawai’i. It was beautiful and I do see why people love it there, but it was very much so not for me. Also flying while fat fucking suuuuucks aaaaass, hugely.

Which fashion trends did you love?

Eye makeup got really fun and weird this year - I love the new shapes and crazy colors.

Here’s a decent example on Halsey. The way her top lid has a line above the lid and under the brow - I’ve never seen that before this year. Really fun and new kinda twist on makeup.

Which fashion trends did you hate?

Chunky dad shoes, the popularity of Crocs (and I fucking love Crocs, don’t get me wrong,) and other seemingly-ironic “comfortable chic” styles. It’s super cute on most skinny girls but the moment a fat girl tries to rock that style, it’s “sloppy” or “lazy.” On the other hand, it was good to see some women reject more revealing or extravagant styles in favor of being comfortable. It’s just tough for a fat woman like me to pull off.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?

I pretty much lived in black sweatpants and baggy t-shirts this year.

What song sums up this year for you?

“I Think I’m OKAY” by Machine Gun Kelly feat. Yungblud

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?

I listened to a ton of “thank u, next” and “when we all fall asleep, where do we go?” this past year.

What was your favorite movie of the year?

I haven’t seen any movies from 2019 yet. I watched one film this year: “Slow West” - it was pretty good!

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?

The entire casts of Legacies and Runaways.

Favorite new TV show?

Probably Legacies! Really surprised me, but it’s a fun show!

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?

Cheleanor stole my heart this year, from The Good Place. I, of course, spent way too much time thinking and talking about The 100. Gotta give another shoutout to Legacies and Runaways. Special nod to #deanoru and #hosie, respectively.

What food did you try for the first time?

I tried dragonfruit and papaya for the first time while in Hawai’i. It was also the first time I’d ever tried and enjoyed mango. All the other mango I’d had was never sweet enough and always reminded me a lil bit of cat pee, but a fresh tropical mango is fuckin’ heaven.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year?

Not really “permanent”, but semi-permanent - I moved out of one place and into a new one. We definitely won’t be here forever, though. Maybe a year or two.

What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

I do a lot of little nice things for my husband every day, it’s kinda tough to list them all.

What was one nice thing you did for yourself?

I reached out to an old friend that I had been fighting with and made amends, and we’re friends again.

Did you develop a new obsession?

I always move from TV show to TV show obsessively - lots have already been mentioned. I think I got more into The Try Guys this past year than I have before. I also played a lot more management sims than I ever expected to - games like Dead in Vinland, Banished, Frostpunk, Weedcraft Inc, and This War of Mine.

Did you vote?

Shoulda - didn’t.

Did you move?

Yup! Moved out of my old roommate’s house and into my own apartment.

Did you get a job?

In a sense - I drive for DoorDash. It’s definitely work, but not a conventional job.

Did you get a pet?

No. :( In fact, I kinda lost some - I loved the shit out of my roommate’s dogs, I got way too attached to them. I miss them too much.

Do you regret not doing anything?

Not really.

Do you regret doing something?

Yeah, I let a friend down in July. Wish I hadn’t done that, but. I’m not a very good friend to have, and I’m okay with that. The people who get it stick around through the tough stuff.

Have you done anything that scared you?

I always think it’s a little scary to get on a plane. That’s probably it.

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

God, yes. Too many things. Still angry at my old roommate for being such an asshole about cleaning and for threatening to kick us out. That’s the one that happened this year, lol. But I’m still angry about things that happened years ago. I can hold a hell of a grudge.

Did you lose anyone close to you?

Not this year. Got lucky. Guess the universe decided to give me a little break.

Did you fall in love?

Nah, but I stayed in love with a coupla people. ;)

Did you fall out of love?

Nope!

Did you start a new relationship?

Nah. My husband and I have been together for 8 years.

Did you go through a break up?

See above!

Did you have to cut ties to someone?

Kinda. Had one or two people who wanted to be my friend. Made the mistake of being approachable and shit. But they figured out I’m a flakey asshole soon enough. :)

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year?

I made amends with my friend, Tracie, this year. She was always important to me. But I was pretending that she wasn’t, last year.

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year?

I can’t really think of anyone. I guess my husband’s best friend - she moved out of our old house first, and I stopped talking to her as often. Prior to that we’d been pretty close. Proximity-based closeness is a trip, y’all.

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?

Nah. I made it through. That’s all that counts.

What was the best moment of the year for you?

Seeing my friend get married. It was a really, really lovely ceremony.

What was the worst?

Probably when I tried out a new form of self-harm - aka banging my head as hard as possible against the bathroom sink. Gave myself a mild concussion. 0/5 would not recommend.

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t?

Going to Hawai’i. I don’t know why I thought it would change me - it just seems like one of those “life-changing” destinations, y’know? But it wasn’t. It was beautiful and otherworldly, and also full of a weird and uncomfortable mixture of white wealth and brown poverty. If anything, that only affirmed my beliefs more.

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did?

It’s tough to answer these sometimes, because I just don’t really know who I am “as a person.” I don’t think there was anything I didn’t expect. Not this year.

What are you most proud of accomplishing?

I got out and worked a lot. I pushed through some really tough times and experienced some nice things on the other side. I was able to care for my husband during his down moments, the way he’s cared for me. I fuckin’ survived, which is always an accomplishment for someone whose brain is frequently shouting at them to end it all.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?

I’m more resilient emotionally than I thought I was. I’m less resilient physically than I used to be.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

I feel warmer and closer to my mother-in-law than ever before.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?

My sister continues to find new ways to disappoint me, but that isn’t exclusive to 2019. My former roommate went from being, in my mind, a mostly-okay guy, to potentially one of the worst people I’ve ever met. And that’s really saying something. Duplicity and lack of awareness go a long way in making someone shitty, though.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

Nah, pahaha. I was supposed to go outside and also journal every day. Didn’t do that. I mostly kept up with it, but there are a lot of gaps. I definitely spent a week or two consecutively indoors, at least twice.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

Probably gonna keep trying with the old ones, tbh.

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?

I would go pick up Cami and head north, for Alaska. Find someone beautiful and peaceful to see the aurora borealis. Drink cream liqueur and hot cocoa with scarves and hats and gloves on. Look up at the endless stars. Have a long, sleepless road trip back, screaming our favorite songs at the top of our lungs, stopping at interesting places when we can.

What do you wish for others for the coming year?

I just hope things get better, dude. Stabler. Less scary.

What do you wish for yourself?

Same as the above, but on a micro scale. I’m heading into my 30s in this next decade. I gotta find something else to do besides just surviving.

#rambling about my life #plz do not rebagel thank u #about me #2019 retrospective

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catalinda04 · 5 years

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Carried Away Chapter 51: Playing Hooky

Masterlist

NSFW

“What is he even doing with her? She’s not even pretty. He could do so much better.”

“He looks so happy.”

“How could someone that looks like him be dating someone who looks like her?”

“I’ll sum it up in 4 words: He’s hot, she’s not.”

“She’s a lucky gal, but she’ll have to drop some of the weight if she wants to keep his attention from wandering.”

“She looks sweet, and she obviously adores him.”

“How could someone who spends so much time at the gym be with someone who obviously hasn’t been to a gym this century?”

“Well, he’s definitely not into looks.”

“She won’t last long.”

“So glad he’s found someone, he deserves to be happy.”

Lucy had been torturing herself with internet comment sections since returning from New York two days ago. She and Henry had been inundated by paparazzi when they arrived at the airport on Thursday afternoon. Henry had warned her they would probably be there, and Dany presented her with a pair of sunglasses to wear.

She knew it wasn’t healthy for her to be reading the comments on the pictures of Henry and herself from the premiere, but like a car crash, she couldn’t pull her eyes away. The comments seemed to be an even mixture of “good for them” and “what’s he doing with her?”

Lucy’s phone played the sweeping piano music that was Henry’s personalized ringtone. She dragged her eyes from the screen to reach for her phone.

“Hi Darcy,” she answered on a sigh.

“Darling, what’s wrong? You’re not reading more internet comments are you?”

“I can’t stop! They’re like potato chips, can’t have just one! How can people be so mean?”

“Darling, please stop reading them. No good will come from reading those.”

“They’re not all bad! Some mention how happy they are that you look happy. More than one has congratulated me for ‘landing’ you, like you’re a trophy walleye in a fishing contest not a human being.”

“Well, you are quite a-lure-ing.” Henry joked.

“Wha, whaaaa. Stick to acting, comedy isn’t your strong suit.” Lucy laughed.

“I agree, that was a bad one. But seriously Cupcake, you’re not letting those comments get to you, are you?”

“I’m really trying. I know the majority are really just jealous of me, which I can’t quite wrap my head around, and I know that those people don’t know me, they don’t know you, they don’t know us. They’re just shouting into the void.” She sighed again, “but what’s really gotten to me is the number of phone calls and emails I’ve gotten. I’m hearing from people I haven’t talked to since college or even high school. It’s crazy.”

“That will happen,” he confirmed “Are you terribly concerned by it?”

“No. I know if I haven’t talked to them in over a decade, there’s probably a reason for it. Though I did want to run something past you.” Lucy said hesitantly.

“What would that be?” Henry asked.

“I was thinking, now that we’re out and official in the press and what not, I might make it Facebook official and change my status and profile picture. I want to use the one of us kissing on the London Eye. What do you think?”

“I think you should do whatever you want to do, but it won’t bother me if you do. I like that picture, just know that it will make the rounds too once you make it public.”

“I think I’m fine with that. Did I tell you, I had to make my school Instagram account private? I gained over a thousand followers in a day. I had to go in and remove them, it took like an hour!”

Henry chuckled, “That will happen too. If you haven’t already locked down all of your social media, you might want to look at that.”

“I’ve already got that as locked as I can make it, but my school account is for parents and family to see what we’re doing in class, and for the travel club. It took people less than a day to find me.”

“Have you gotten any threats or anything of that nature?” He asked worried.

“No, just the random Insta-followers.”

“But you will tell me if you get anything like that, won’t you?”

“Probably…” Lucy shrugged.

“Lucy, this is serious. If you get any threats, you need to tell me.”

“Ok, I will.” She reassured.

“What are you doing today?” Henry asked, changing the subject.

“It’s Saturday, so I’ve got some stuff to do around the house, but then this afternoon I have our big pre-trip meeting with all the parents of the kids going on the trip. They need to sign a bunch of paperwork, and I collect tip money for guides on the trip. It’ll probably take about 3 hours.” she made a face.

“I would imagine that parents can get quite nervous when sending their children on a trip without them.”

“Nervous doesn't even begin to describe some of these parents. But it’s my job to allay their fears and remind them that everything will be fine.”

“Well, good luck with that.”

“Thanks,” she laughed sarcastically. “Will I get to see you again before we leave for Europe?” she asked, changing the subject.

“I think I can make some time on my way to Hong Kong.”

“I’d like that, but if you can’t I understand. I looked at the schedule Dany sent me, and we’re going to be in Madrid at the same time.”

“Any chance I could get you to accompany me to the Madrid premiere?”

“I don’t think so. We’re so exhausted by the end of the day on these tours, all we want to do is sleep. Though I’m sure I could get you an invite to dinner with us, or maybe a seat on our day trip, if you want to come.”

“We’ll see what my press schedule is like,” he promised, though in his head he was already rearranging his commitments.

Lucy’s head popped up at a noise in her house, “I have to go, my laundry is beeping and I haven’t even showered yet. Say hi to Kal for me. Tell him I miss him.”

“I will. I love you, and I’ll talk to you later. And stop looking at internet comments!”

“I love you too. And I’ll try.” She smiled, disconnecting the call.

May passed like it always did for Lucy, much too quickly. Besides getting all of the arrangements finalized for her trip with her students, she also had final projects to oversee for her classes and then grade when they were handed in.

In the end Henry had only managed to get a day in Minnesota on his way to Hong Kong. He flew into the small local airport on a Tuesday night, and Lucy picked him up.

“So Darling, I was thinking, as I only have one day here, why don’t I come to school with you tomorrow?” Henry suggested as they drove back to Lucy’s house.

Lucy glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “I don’t think that will work.” she said sadly, watching Henry’s face fall. “I’m not going to work tomorrow. I took a sick day.” She said and faked a cough. “I just don’t think I’m going to be able to get out of bed tomorrow,” faking another weak cough.

“Why Ms. Claussen, are you playing hooky?” Henry asked playfully.

“Damn straight I am. I was serious about not being able to get out of bed. I don’t plan on leaving the bedroom. Unless of course we get more adventurous, there’s always the sofa, or the kitchen, we tried the shower, that doesn’t work.”

Henry visibly swallowed, and coughed, “You’re going to want to drive faster, darling.”

“Oh, really. And why is that?” She asked on a laugh.

“Because I plan on ravishing you in about 10 minutes, and I’d really like you to not be driving while I am.” He explained, his hand snaking up to her neck, to rub at the spot he knew made her go weak. He felt the vehicle accelerate.

As they neared Lucy’s house, Henry leaned closer to press a kiss to her neck. His lips searching, teasing at the sensitive flesh behind her ear. Lucy moaned in response, before lifting her shoulder to dissuade his ministrations. “I’m going to get into an accident if you don’t stop that.” She warned.

“I said you had 10 minutes.” He teased.

“We can’t ravish each other if we’re dead. And Dany would kill me if you got injured in a car accident while I was driving.” She said, pushing his face away. “Now be a good boy for 5 more minutes, and I promise you’ll get a reward.” She placated.

“As you wish.” He smirked. She stuck her tongue out at him. “Don’t stick that out unless you intend to use it.” Henry warned.

“Oh, I intend to.” She teased.

“Henry! Please!” Lucy panted, gripping the pillow under her head. “Stop teasing me!”

Henry’s only reply was to slowly curl his fingers inside of her. His thumb brushed lightly against the bundle of nerves he’d been teasing for the past 15 minutes. Keeping her right on the edge, but not allowing her to fall.

They’d fallen on each other as soon as they entered Lucy’s house, and after two quick yet explosive orgasms, Henry was determined to take his time.

He removed his fingers slowly, before entering her again just as slowly. His lips claimed hers in a deep soul searing kiss, before raining kisses down the length of her body. Stopping to cherish her breasts.

His mouth claimed her nipple, sucking it deep into his mouth, teasing with his tongue. Lucy moaned her response, her voice becoming hoarse from his prolonged teasing. His lips made their way to her other breast to lave the nipple with his tongue, before sucking it deep into his mouth.

When his mouth finally left her breasts, Lucy felt on fire. She could feel her climax building, but Henry wouldn’t let her go. When she tried to take matters into her own hand, he brushed it away. “Stop that now, keep your hands on your pillow. If you don’t behave, I’ll have to tie you up.” He said sternly.

“Please, Henry. I can’t…” Lucy begged, unable to finish her thought as his mouth closed over the button he’d been teasing and sucked hard. His fingers increased their speed and intensity. It was mere seconds before Lucy flew over the precipice, her entire body tensing with the pleasure finally coursing through her system.

As she started to come down from her high, Henry’s lips traveled back up her body, before joining them in one smooth thrust. Lucy gasped at the deluge of sensations flooding her already overloaded system.

“Come on darling. I know you have another one for me.” He coaxed, thrusting heavily, rolling his hips to hit every nerve ending she possessed. Lucy’s climax built until Henry’s frantic thrusts pushed her over the edge again, just before he spilled himself into her.

He collapsed on top of her, both panting for breath. They laid, a sticky, sweaty, tangle of arms and legs while they caught their breath. Eventually Henry rolled off of Lucy to lay beside her.

“I don’t think I can feel my legs.” Lucy said.

“That’s ok. I can’t feel mine either.”

Lucy and Henry made love off and on through the night and the next morning. They lived in a sex-fueled bubble that only included the two of them. Sometime in the early afternoon, they took a rest on the sofa, snuggled together, watching one of Lucy’s favorite movies.

“Henry?” Lucy asked.

“Hmmm?” Was his only response.

“What’s going to happen this summer?”

“What do you mean darling?”

“I mean, are we going to see each other? What’s your schedule like?”

“I’m not 100% sure, I’d have to look at my calendar, but I know I have publicity for U.N.C.L.E. through June. I’m not certain how far into July it goes. Then I don’t think I have anything, other than training, scheduled until November, when I need to be in Jordan for filming.”

“And I have workshops to attend at least during the last week of August. I don’t think I’ll have any other trainings.” Lucy said.

“So, it would seem we have about 6 weeks. Would you want to spend at least some of that time with me in London? It would give you a chance to see what living there would be like. Experience London like a local.”

“I’d like that. I can finally spend a day in the British Museum. I should see if there are any shows I want to see.” Lucy said, thinking out loud, Henry could practically hear the gears turning in her brain.

Henry laughed, “I seem to remember your New Year’s Resolution being something along the lines of not planning so much.”

“No one keeps their resolutions.” she shook her head.

The final two weeks of school were a blur to Lucy. She and Henry talked almost everyday, usually from some exotic locale that was on Lucy’s list of places to experience. She missed him interminably, but knowing that they would be together soon made the separation easier.

Henry tried again to get Lucy to attend the Madrid premiere of U.N.C.L.E. with him with no success, Lucy had contacted her tour leader and asked about him joining them for a meal, or an excursion, and he’d agreed it should be no problem. Lucy couldn’t wait to see Henry in Spain; her favorite person in her favorite place.

Lucy sat with the other staff members at graduation. She thought back to the previous year’s graduation. She had sat with these same people, wondering if she was going to be alone forever, ending up the Old Maid teacher, teaching these graduating students’ children in 20 years, and looking forward to her trip to Europe. This year, she had another trip planned, with her students, and then would be returning to Europe, to essentially live for 6 weeks. “What a difference a year can make,” she thought to herself.

Chapter 50 Chapter 52

#Henry Cavill #Henry Cavill fanfic #Henry Cavill fan fic #Henry Cavill fanfiction #Henry Cavill fan fiction #Carried Away

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ilovethings-somuch · 6 years

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In Sickness & In Health

Chris Evans x Reader

Anon requested: “Can u do a one shot where chris and your guys son is sick and you baby them???”

A/N: This is basically just domestic fluff, I hope you enjoy!

“Chris,” I call as I walk back towards our bedroom after waking up Miles. “It looks like we’re going to have a little change of plans today, do you think you can stay home with Mi-” I stop talking as I hear the sound of vomiting coming from our en-suite. I find Chris kneeling over the toilet when I enter the bathroom. I make my way over to him and crouch down beside him to rub his back. “How are you feeling?” I ask him weakly.

“Like shit,” he mumbles from where his face is buried in his arms.

“Are you going to puke again or should we move back to bed?”

“Bed,” he says and starts standing up. I get my shoulder under his armpit and try to help him walk back to bed. “I might need a bucket,” he tells me once he’s seated on his side of the bed.

“Okay, hang tight.” I rush back to the bathroom to grab a bucket for him. Once he’s settled I go back to check on Miles. He fell back asleep after I first woke him up and noticed his fever. I let him sleep but turn on the baby monitor that we haven’t used in ages so that I’ll be able to hear him from downstairs if he wakes up. I hook the other side of the baby monitor to my belt before I head to the kitchen to call work and let them know I won’t be able to make it in today. Turns out it’s Chris I should’ve set up the baby monitor for since he’s the one who I heard calling for me after my phone call. I hurry back upstairs so he can stop shouting before he accidentally wakes Miles back up. When I get to our bedroom he’s still laying down with his eyes closed but his hand is held out while he calls my name.

“Hey, I’m here, what do you need?” I ask him and hold onto his hand once I’m close enough.

“You need to go to work. I’ll be okay,” he tries to assure me but judging by how pale he has gotten I know that isn’t the case.

“You can’t handle looking after yourself and Miles in this state. Besides, I already called in. It’s all taken care of.”

“Miles, doesn’t he have school?” he asks, squinting at me as if he’s trying to figure something out. “What day is it?”

“It’s Wednesday so yes he does have school but I think you two got the same bug. He had a fever when I woke him up so he’s back to sleep now.”

“It was probably the football game. I knew we should’ve left when it started raining but he was having so much fun,” Chris says, instantly blaming himself for their bad fortune.

“It doesn’t matter how you got it, don’t think like that. There’s always some bug going around his school, he could’ve picked it up there and brought it home to you. Either way, it doesn’t matter. We just need to focus on getting everyone feeling better.” Chris nods solemnly and doesn’t try to argue anymore before I continue, “do you need anything? Are you going to try to go back to sleep?”

“I don’t think I can, I was trying but no luck.”

“Okay, do you want to go downstairs? I could put a movie on for you,” I suggest as I absentmindedly push his hair back from his forehead.

“That sounds good, as long as you’ll cuddle with me.”

“And risk catching your cold? No thanks,” I tease and stand up from the bed. Chris pouts at me and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m kidding, of course, I’ll cuddle with you.” I grab Chris’ pillow off the bed and the bucket off the nightstand before leading Chris downstairs. I get him settled on the couch with a big stack of pillows and our biggest, fluffiest blanket before I turn to find a good movie.

“You know, when I was a kid I would always watch-”

“Oliver and Company when you were sick,” I finish for him as I turn around with the DVD.

“You know me so well,” he says with a smile.

Once the movie is set up I make my way over to the couch and Chris lifts up part of the blanket for me to snuggle against him. I considered turning on the gas fireplace but the heat radiating off of Chris from his fever is plenty to keep us warm under the blankets. Then, when Dodger joins us by laying on Chris’s lap I end up having to pull one leg out of the blanket to cool off. It’s around this time when I hear Miles making noise over the monitor. I notice Chris’s eyes are starting to droop closed when I look at him, but when I whisper that I’m going to go check on Miles he seems to wake up a little more.

“How are you feeling, buddy?” I ask Miles gently as I feel his forehead to see how hot he still is. It definitely it’s as hot as it was when I first woke him up this morning, but not back to normal either.

“My head hurts,” he mumbles.

“Do you wanna take some medicine?” I suggest, to which he shrugs and turns his lip up. “I know it tastes funny, but it’ll make you feel better. Then, maybe you can come watch a movie with me and Daddy.”

“Daddy’s watching a movie?”

“He is, he doesn’t feel very good either.”

“Oh, I guess I’ll take the medicine,” he says as if it’s the worst thing in the world.

I grab the cold medicine and measure it out before he can change his mind. He stares at the little cup for a long time before he finally drinks the small amount of medicine and I give him a glass of water to rinse out the taste with. Once that’s taken care of I help him collect some blankets and stuffies to take downstairs with us to finish the movie.

“Hey little man,” Chris says when we make it back down to the TV room.

“Hi daddy, what are you watching.”

“Oliver and Company, you know, this is where Dodger got his name from.”

“No it isn’t,” Miles counters as he crawls up the couch to lay by Chris.

“What do you mean? Of course, it is. Look,” Chris says, pointing to the screen, “that’s Dodger.” Our Dodger picks up his head at all the mentions of his name and starts wagging his tail.

“Not you, pup,” I tell him while petting his head.

I lay back down on the other side of Chris, and Miles eventually starts watching the movie instead of pretending to argue with his dad. By the time the movie has ended Chris and Miles have both fallen back to sleep. I let them sleep while I get things taken care of around the house. Later, I make the boys some soup and make sure they each eat at least one bowl and drink a glass of water so they don’t get dehydrated. After lunch Miles insists he isn’t tired and tries to convince Chris to watch another movie with him. However, Chris and I have always tried to make sure that sick days don’t turn into fun days so he won’t pretend to be sick just to stay home. So after lunch, he goes back to his room to rest a little more. Chris is good about it and tells Miles that he doesn’t feel very good and he wants to get more sleep too. Chris completes the act and goes up to our room when I take Miles to his. I give him a couple books to look at and leave the lamp on so he doesn’t have to sleep if he doesn’t want to. Once I’m sure Miles isn’t gonna sneak out of bed I go back to my room to check on Chris.

“Are you still feeling crappy or were you just playing along?” I ask Chris when I find him.

“I really don’t feel good.”

“You should take some medicine.”

“No, I don’t need that,” he tries to wave me off but his arm barely raises a couple inches.

“Chris, there’s nothing wrong with a little cold medicine,” I insist while feeling his temperature again. “You’re burning up, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I am? I’ve been cold all day,” he shrugs.

“Lay back,” I instruct him and help him move the pillows the right way. “I’ll be right back.”

I go to the bathroom to get a cool washcloth to put on his forehead and to get some medicine.

“Take these,” I hand him the pills and a glass of water and he frowns at me. “Stop that, it’s going to make you feel better.” He rolls his eyes but does as he’s told. Once he’s laying down again I lay the washcloth over his forehead and eyes in an attempt to break his fever. Once he’s situated and I think he’s asleep I try to quietly leave the room.

“Are you leaving?” he speaks up as I step away from the bed.

“I was going to go downstairs, do you need anything else?”

“Just, stay here,” he says while patting the bed next to him.

The rest of the day passes in a mess of changing washcloths, getting water, and eventually ends with Miles and Dodger joining me and Chris in bed. Even if they are sick, it sure is nice to spend more time with my boys. Miles’s fever breaks around 4 in the afternoon while Chris’s doesn’t until well after 10. It’s amazing how even after a day of laying around, Miles still falls asleep well before his usual bedtime and stays asleep until morning. Chris does the same and only wakes when my alarm goes off. I, on the other hand, had an awful night of being hot and then cold and having a hard time getting comfortable. Though, as soon as the alarm goes off and I sit up in bed I know why. I end up half running to the bathroom so my stomach can empty its contents into the toilet. I hear Chris mutter a curse as he follows behind me to help hold my hair and rub my back.

“This is your fault,” I accuse him once I’m done vomiting.

“I know, I know. Let me get Miles ready for school and then I’ll take care of you just the way you took care of me,” he tells me softly as he helps me back to bed.

“You better,” I grumble.

“I will,” he insists and he does.

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#Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x reader #chris evans/reader #Dad!chris #Dad!Chris Evans #Daddy!Chris Evans #chris evans request

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bxnnyhero · 6 years

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200+ Bias list

You know when I created this blog I expected it to be a bit niche. I just wanted to have a little fun with the hero nobody really knows quite yet. There's something fantastic for me to play such unexplored enigmas. And I thought to myself, welp. Let's see how far can I push it! And now I am sitting on this blog, and not even a week has passed since I created it. I took a screenshot two days ago that said 90-ish followers and wanted to scream about how fast people gather. I am somewhat glad I did not post that screenshot before since it got faster LOL. I know that making those Bias lists every 100 is rather funny considering how quickly I gain people here, but I just want to do it anyway. So here goes! Ima mention the individuals now! And sprinkle in some other people at the bottom of the list! Well, here goes! Under read more! It’s going to be super long tbh LOL

@ksri - And yet again I shall mention you in the first place. You are the start of whatever I call The sigh of relief knowing that ppl noticed the blog and I have an actual chance of doing stuff! But besides the point of you being the start, you are also a pretty good writer. I always enjoy seeing you on my dash, and I do hope we get to do stuff. Admittedly Miruko needs more kids to teach and be a Bunny-mom for. Thank you for being here and stuffs!

@smcsh - You are one of the first people in this fandom I decided to talk to. You are a lovely person, and I loved those moments we had discussing stuff in Dms. It was also super fun to read your posts. The crack we had and your involvement in it is supreme! Please, continue to be your awesome self, I beg. And have a chocolate bar. You deserve it XD

@goldgoggles - We haven't talked at all but I wanna shout out you cuz ur Aizawa is a legend. Legendary Dad-zawa id back in the building. I always find a bit of peace knowing that whatever happens in the fandom, your Aizawa will still be grumpy about it. Blessed consistency. And bless you for that matter. YE.

@alienquccn - I haven't thought that when I create a Mirko blog, I will adopt myself a Mina but I guess we are making it happen LOL. It was just something we thought about, but I think it's canon for me now, sorry, I don't make the rules. On the topic of Mina herself though, she is adorable. And you are great at portraying that little rascal who breakdances to make friends. Keep doing whatcha doing! I AM WATCHING U.

@superrncva - If what we decided with u is right, apparently, Mirko is like Bakugou's long-lost aunt. An aunt that is somehow a bunny but has the same attitude as Baku-boy himself. And I love that. I love the fact that Baku actually "inherited" the qualities of Miruko and I am making that my headcanon and Horikoshi can FIGHT ME.

@united-smash - The only interaction we had is you sending me a lewd ask and an ask about fisting. That's it. Literally the only ways we have been interacting so far. And I am screaming into the void and laughing because I LOVE THAT. All might is such a dork though. And from what I saw, you are doing a great GREAT job giving him justice. Continue with ur stuff, and I will be watching!

@quirkthief - Hey, hello! I am gay! With that out of the way, you are amazin, and I love u. The first ship of this blog errybody! The main enemy of the entire cast of the show and I am sort of, kind of hero number five! All hail the villain!AU! Yer an enjoyable person to talk to And I love doing so now and then. Also, I think I am going to make a Gang orca blog. Why? I dunno I WANT To.

@pantodinamos - Another All Might on my MIGHTY list (see what I did there?) I decided that you are a good. Very a good and I love your blog. You are the first person I followed still, and you are also the first person that got an Ic post from me on this blog! I was just a simple greeter, and I love where this goes. Mirko and All Might are really alike in many ways. They both rely on their physical prowess instead of the direct use of the quirk. They both smile almost always when they assault their enemies and save others. They can be great friends if they want to be. I hope that happens. And I love your All Might!

@inspirxnt - Emily is lovely. Really. You and Emily are both loves of my life no joke LOL. I sort of did not plan this to happen, but I kinda started to ship out muses together after a bit of conversation, and I seemed to convert you into this as well XD. I can't say I am not proud of it because that would be a lie. I love that shit. And I love how you write your muse. It's a blast to read your ic posts and talk to you OOC. Just a good human being right there!

@cattusnoir - Hey Kitty-kat! I love Miraculous Ladybug. It's something of a guilty pleasure of mine. Why guilty? I admit that I always enjoyed darker stories with more stakes, but somehow this naive and very ridiculous show did not manage to make me hate it. It has this...cham you can't really deny. And your Noir really portrays the same vibe. I love how you write him. And il love whatever it is that we are building together. Our little chats are very fun as well! You are a nice person! I liek u.

Alright! That’s all for the personal mentions! let’s top it all off with a small list of just....shout outs. I just wanna do them. I know it’s really big by now, but I WANNA.

OKAY. DONE

#out of hopping(ooc)#tradition as old as tumblr(Bias list)#writer notes(mun speaks)#THIS is WAY TOO LONG #i AM SO SORRY #LOL #tw long post #Very long #I love you all though #THANKS #Now to starters/drafts and other serious stuff!

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codenamesailordarillium · 7 years

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Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

Tagged by @regalpotato lol I haven’t done one of these in ages m8, thanks

A - Age: 22, and constantly frustrated to be living in an alcohol-free home despite having reached the legal drinking age over a year ago

B - Birthplace: Dhaka, Bangladesh (specifically the Red Crescent Hospital ~ Red Crescent is the Muslim country equivalent of Red Cross, so for all intents and purposes I was in fact born in a Red Cross hospital)

C - Current time: 7:24 AM, which it’ll definitely be well past once I’m done filling this out

D - Drink you last had: honey tea that my mom made me because I’ve been coughing up a storm since like 5:00 AM

E - Easiest person to talk to: my best friend who is also more or less my wife, my mind just seems to instantly clear and I’m able to communicate all my thoughts thoroughly to my complete satisfaction with her <3

F - Favorite song: who has just one favorite song anymore lol, but in general probably something Lady Gaga

G - Grossest memory: idk I kinda tend to repress that stuff nowadays, and in general whenever faced with something gross my mind hyper-fixates on the goal of cleaning/washing up whatever’s grossing me out tbh

H - Horror yes or horror no: haha this is where I have to assert the disclaimer of ‘sorry for being a demon’ once again because lol I kinda love that shit, tho tbh I have a hard time finding horror movies that really interest me so I’m more into watching people’s horror game playthroughs on the YouTubez

I - In love?: don’t think I’ve ever been, but hope that I might get to be someday (closest I think I’ve come is aforementioned best friend/wifey)

J - Jealous of people?: yes, like the sad little cunt I am, but it’s because of my own shortcomings and I try never to begrudge people their personal achievements ‘cause that helps exactly no one

L - Love at first sight or should i walk by again?: maybe...I think sometimes it’s possible to sense that you *could* fall in love with someone upon meeting them, tho I don’t think you can literally be in love with someone by just looking at them

M - Middle name: Nahrin, tho it isn’t so much my middle name as it is my original surname which was then supplanted to middle name status when my parents stuck my dad’s surname onto all of our names when we immigrated from Bangladesh to the US so we’d look more like a family unit or smth...OH, ALSO according to my dad it means RIVER (or riverS plural but still!!) which means BITCH MY MIDDLE NAME IS RIVER like what kind of serendipity tho...

N - Number of siblings: one (some of you may know Empress Fuzzy, the sweet adorable baby sister bear of my heart)

O - One wish: that I will someday climb out of the abyss that is my perpetually shite mental health and actually have even the slightest sliver of control over my life (whoops, didn’t mean to get too real, but it’s the truth)

P - Person you called last: my mom, yesterday, when she was coming to pick me up from school

Q - Question you are always asked: "Has she graduated yet?” NO I HAVEN’T PLEASE STOP REMINDING ME *continues to sob, shout, and scream bloody murder into the void*

R - Reason to smile: I must agree with Katie about dogs, last night we went to my aunt and uncle’s house for dinner and I was predictably left cooing over their two little loud stinkers called Benjy and Beulah like the utter dog person I am

S - Song you sang last: idk most likely “Diamond Heart” off of Gaga’s album “Joanne” (even tho I prolly shouldn’t be trying to belt out those lyrics with my throat in the state it’s been but YOLO amirite?)

T - Time you woke up: 5:00 AM after only sleeping like 4-5 hours because my respiratory system decided to see if it could qualify on the Richter scale

U - Underwear colour: striped in two shades of aqua blue with a black waistband

V - Vacation destination: really just wherever as long as I have my wifey by my side *blows kiss*

W - Worst habit: biting the fuck outta my nails when I’m stressed and then getting scarily compulsive about how ugly they look and attempting to trim them with a proper nail clipper to look slightly less ugly only to be in constant stinging pain because I’ve breached the boundary of how far you can trim a nail before it starts to hurt (yeah I might’ve done it a few days ago and hate myself for it why d’you ask)

X - X-rays: haven’t actually had one in literal years now that I think about it...tho who knows, might need one soon to see if I’ve got some kind of infection now that’s the reason why I’VE BEEN SICK LIKE OVER SIX WEEKS OR SOME SHIT SOMEONE PLEASE END MY SUFFERING FUCKING FUCK ME T_T

Y - Your favorite food: generally anything made of the potato

Z - Zodiac sign: Pisces, and boy do I never forget how much of a fish cunt I am according to literally every goddamn horoscope/zodiac post I encounter on the internet *sigh*

Alrighty then, hope that wasn’t too depressing/ranty. I don’t think there’s anyone left that I can tag, but if you’re really dying to do this taggity-tag type business, literally feel free to tell me so and I will come back and retroactively tag you in this so that y’all don’t need to feel left out because I’m all about that inclusion life yo.

#in which i was tagged #about me

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