#TF YOU MEAN zeAlotS

[yanderes-galore]

can i request the yandere alphabet with tf idw tarn please?

Sure! I am not done with the comic yet so if I get his character wrong I apologize! I think I know enough so... enjoy :) I'll take feedback, too. I just struggled with trying to write him right I guess?

Yandere Alphabet - MTMTE! Tarn

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Murder, Manipulation, Threats, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Torture, Blood/Energon mention, Slight sadism, Kidnapping, Forced relationship, Possible OOC Tarn.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Tarn is a difficult case. He's Decepticon Zealot if that's what you can call it. He's a fan of Megatron's message, he adores torture to classical music, and feels his actions justified.

Tarn is a murderous sociopath who would most likely get along with a Decepticon darling more than a human or Autobot.

Tarn isn't the most affection Cybertronian out there. Although, if his darling is part of the D.J.D, or at least a loyal Decepticon, then he would show a great deal of respect for you. Romance is not typically in his mind most of the time... but you always manage to infect his thoughts.

I'd say Tarn is an intense yandere even if he is a bit passive with affection. Tarn would show his love through respect and trust more than anything physical. Respect and trust are what create his obsession as it shows a bond between you.

While he prefers to be less hands on, he certainly doesn't mind private close contact with the one he feels is most loyal to him.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Messy. Tarn doesn't flinch at spilling Energon. Autobot, Decepticon, if he feels they need to go... he'll get rid of them.

He'll do it in a very grotesque way, too. He'll torture them with the D.J.D. He may even make you watch if he feels you deserve it.

Tarn being covered in Energon isn't very new. He's grown used to the feeling and doesn't necessarily gain joy from it. It's more like work for him, all done to classical Cybertronian music.

He won't deny the fact doing it for you makes him feel... pleasurable, however.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

He wouldn't feel the need to mock you unless you disobeyed your loyalties to the D.J.D and the Decepticons.

Tarn would try to treat you with some sort of respect if he had to abduct you. Abduction would be more common with an Autobot or human darling as he knows you'd be less willing. If he had to abduct a Decepticon darling, then it's because he feels you've "defected".

He'd try to treat you... decently unless you've done something wrong. If you've done something to be targeted by him for, you have worse things to worry about.

If he has to make you submit by more distasteful methods, then so be it.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

If you listen and are obedient to him and his cause, no.

If you try to avoid him and defect, yes... yes he will.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Hard to see Tarn as very vulnerable. If the rest of the D.J.D are around then he isn't going to be too open about you.

In private I can see him being more open. Sorta. You do mean a lot to him but he struggles to show it.

Although, if he was going to lose you to someone, Tarn would do everything in his power to prevent it. Including covering the walls in sickly pink Energon.

He cares for you in his own way.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He challenges you to continue before swiftly correcting your behavior. What a nice fighting fire you have, yet you can't fight your leader and lover.

How upsetting... he can fix this with a bit of motivation.

Have any favorite classical pieces, dear?

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

No and no. Tarn is very serious with his adoration and affections towards you. There's no time to fool around like that.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Like with Pharma, where do I start?

Seeing him kill others, your first punishment, running from him, his classical music...

It's hard to pick just one really when it comes to Tarn. You've seen what he can do, right?

He cares for you... yet you may not be spared if you falter.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He wants you as his partner, his most loyal partner who works with him in the D.J.D. It's a goal he is ready to see through no matter what it takes. Then you two can think about being more affectionate once that bond is situated.

It's a goal you will soon begin to dread in the end.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Tarn seems like he'd be possessive. He'd cope, maybe venting his frustration on the next poor Decepticon or Autobot he came across.

He also seems like the type to cover you in the Decepticon sigil. It marks you as his and reminds you of your purpose.

You can't escape your purpose.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He seems like he'd go on long winded rants towards you and his feelings about you at times. He displays some physical affection in public but it's mostly in private. He's loyal and worships Megatron, yet in private he displays some of that behavior towards you.

He may not be the best with affection yet he does shows some sort of "ownership" over his darling by marking with the mark of Decepticons. He likes the idea of having you as his beck and call, completely loyal to him and the words of Megatron.

He shows a slightly different side of himself compared to others. He's softer, obsessive, and a bit of the worshipping type. Although it's very tame.

For the most part.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

It's slow. Tarn wants to build a bond between you before anything. If he cultivates your loyalty, he can do anything with you.

He meticulously plans things out, saying just the right words to make you listen. He keeps most of his obsession hidden already. Slowly, he lures you in (by force, most likely), right before trapping you in his control.

He is not a Decepticon you want to be involved with.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

In private he's softer and more affectionate with you. Other than that and the possessive nature he sometimes displays, no not really.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

It most certainly deals with classical music and torture. If you're lucky he may just kill you. Although... he could never do that. He "loves" you too much for that.

Tarn would stick by you the entire time while he has a D.J.D member help him out with correcting you. There's some comfort during it but not a lot.

By the end of it he hopes to have you loyal to him. Don't look so scared... it was for your own good. He won't have to put you through that again if you just listen like the good con/bot/human you are.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Not a lot if you obey him. Most of them if you try to leave him.

You're with D.J.D now....

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He can be patient with you. It will falter at times but Tarn seems like he'd be patient with some things.

He loves you. A strong bond between you requires trust, which needs patience. You'll come around one way or another.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Probably. If you died he may mourn internally and in private. Maybe even keep a memento. If you escaped, he'd never stop searching for you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Nope and maybe. Again, you'd have to be a Decepticon and also be loyal for him to "let you go".

You're still his no matter what.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Hard to say for sure. He may have a tendency to be obsessive over things and that's just how he is?

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Part of him thrives off it, part of him wants to help you recover. I'm a bit on edge on this as he may tease or chastise you about it more than comfort you.

Tarn would most likely leave you alone if anything but would still keep a close eye on you.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Not super affectionate and can be aggressive.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Loyalty. A key part in Tarn's obsession is trusting you. Get to the point you're his trusted second in command and you'll have much more freedom.

But you'll never get rid of him fully without dying.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

If he has to he will, yes.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Certainly not as much as Megatron but Tarn respects and adores you in a similar capacity.

His affections are usually always in private and can range from long talks to physical affection. He'd kill thousands to keep you beside him and cherishes you close to his spark.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

A long time. I like to think Tarn can be patient with his obsession for the most part. He'll plan out everything in the process.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

If you're loyal, it's not needed.

If you defect from him, yes.

[jangofctts]

I agree Bo Katan’s trio all had rancid vibes even tho Koska Reeves is serving looks. Being a Mando man is a state of mind. That’s why so many people thirst over Paz who got 3 seconds of screen time but Axe is not Allowed

koska is the only mildly decent one, you’re CORRECT

like siGh, i wanted to like bo but she’s such a hypocrite and like the “yOuRe nOt A MaNdaLoRiaN” gives me incel vibes smh

(also jfc?? the blatant clone hate? get fucked, i’ll dance over her grave)

[herding-octokittens]

Finally found the time to go watch the Death to the Mechanisms livestream (and then go listen to the songs that got cut out on Bandcamp), and I HAVE MANY TEARS THOUGHTS! (This is somewhat chronological, but only barely, and way longer than I intended)

The entire band just keeps pulling out more instruments! Marius switches from his violin to whatever that is in Thor and I had to do like a quadruple take. I’m pretty sure I counted like 17 guitars on stage at one time. Ivy has a trumpet. When did that happen? I don’t know, I’m just rolling with it. The Toy Soldier breaks out the tambourine. Cool! Guess that’s happening now!

Oh my gosh, Ashes and Tim singing together as Loki and Sigyn? I love them so much! Their voices are amazing!

Poor Lyf having to deal with Ivy, Raphaella, and Marius for sixty years... How many violins has he summoned? Where do they go? Does Lyf ever take them away and now they just have an evidence room entirely devoted to Marius’s violins? I can totally see all three of them just randomly pulling instruments out of nowhere. Ivy has a never ending supply of recorders and flutes and then one day Lyf stops by and she has a full on trumpet and he just walks away to try and quit right then and there. Raphaella has a grand piano once.

That laugh in Red Signal? When Lyf has finished the Yog-Sothoth chant and Jonny just starts his maniacal laughter?? That right there. That’s what I’m here for.

Squamous. Squamous the second. Squamous3. All the squamous. 

Raphaella’s new wings! Shiny and pretty and bright! I am very gay!

I legit didn’t notice when the Toy Soldier got on stage, I just heard it harmonizing in Lost in the Cosmos and was like “That’s new...”

“That was fucking depressing.” You want some livelier music? Yeah? Great! Here’s this upbeat jazzy blues song about the crime boss god of the dead and everyone losing everything they ever had in horrible, heart-wrenching ways!

Just because your prophecies are true doesn’t mean they’re useful, Brian. See: every Greco-Roman myth ever. Those oracles were really bad at making sure people actually understood tf was going on. Also, I really love Brian’s voice and I’m sad he doesn’t sing in more songs.

I mean, it is totally humanly possible to sing and play the drums and the guitar and the banjo and the accordion at the same time. Totally.

Jonny really goes for it as Galahad, and I give him all my respect. Fuck yeah! Top ten religious zealots of all time! Like the mice in a hat!

“No bearing on the validity of his baptisms.” Did you get baptized by him? Jonny?? Did you??? I need answers!!!

“Speaking of motherfuckers,” When were we talking about motherfuckers? I mean, I’m not complaining, Riddle of the Sphinx is a really fun song, but when? Where? Context? ...Nope? Cool.

“You’re projecting.” “Again.” “I really don’t think I am.” “Again.” No, you are definitely projecting, Jonny.

Moons in love? Gravity? Death of millions of people? End of entire civilizations? Lesbians? I don’t see a difference...

When Tim, Raphaella, Brian, and the Toy Soldier are doing the round at the beginning of Rose Red? All the feels!!! It’s one of my favorite Mechs songs ever because my summer camp sings it (albeit, different verses), and so having a full round going brought me back to good times! Y’know, back when people could gather in groups of more than three and sing together about depressing lacks of weddings. Good times!

And then the Toy Soldier starts singing again in Rose Red and now my heart is pumping and I’m about ready to straight up leave college and go on a madwoman rampage across the universe committing war crimes and having an over dramatic tragic wlw love story!

“But that’s not the death you came to see.” Nope! Not ready! You’ve already killed every single character in all of your albums, and then sung all the other death songs in this one single concert. I do not need this!

Jonny mentioned Nastya and I just had to pause and stop for a minute or twenty.

The music keeps shifting when they’re all dying!!! Raphaella’s harmonizing as she dives through a black hole, Blood and Whiskey playing behind Marius as he’s eaten alive, Lost in the Cosmos on the violin was when the dam of tears really broke, and then when Jonny calls them all the Toy Soldier’s friends???? NO! TOO MUCH!!

Gunpowder Tim died because of a fucking seatbelt... I don’t know how to deal... Such a mood...

Jonny watched Marius die. Jonny watched and timed and he was definitely waiting for Marius to come back to life so he could mock him, and then he didn’t and now I’m crying even harder.

And then Laid in Blood??? The book is closed so I’m going to go binge read fanfiction and pretend that didn’t happen.

“Sing along if you still know the words.” I, in fact, do not still know the words. I am a blubbering mess trying to stifle my everything because my roommate is currently asleep.

“It’s been ten years!” “Erm, ten millenium...” What even is time?

“The Toy Soldier as Jessica Law!” That doesn’t seem right, but I don’t know enough to say otherwise.

“Your humble first mate.” “First ma-” “Wait what?” “I know what I said!” It happened! He said it! He is the First Mate!

So that happened. I am crying a lot. If anyone wants to talk about literally anything Mechs related, please hit me up! Otherwise, I am probably going to be randomly spamming the tag this weekend...

[radicalrosesrevolt]

Milwaukee Pride is a Fucking Disgrace to Stonewall and Here's Why:

Milwaukee Pride is a fucking disgrace to what Pride is all about and where it fucking started. There are too many reasons that I can name off,  but I will just name a few of the pressing issues of this festival we call "Pride".

makegayhistory.org, Sylvia Rivera with banner.

milwaukeepride.org, Pride Fest 2019.

Milwaukee Pride is a celebration of overpriced fried food dipped in rainbow capitalism and drenched in the tragedies and issues of young queer and trans people (ESPECIALLY TQPOC) being swept under the rug.  

I'm writing this article because I am fucking tired of Milwaukee Pride being a

cis white passively racist gay man's fantasy.

I'm writing this because I'm tired of the fact that there's less than a crumb of an attempt at a safe all-gender inclusive bathroom and that I have to see TGNC people lined up at the only single stall bathroom by the youth area with looks of discomfort and disappointment. Which leads me to my first issue:

1. No real gender-neutral / all gender inclusive bathrooms, No fucks given about what trans people have to say!

There are various reviews and comments on Milwaukee Pride / Summerfest’s social media pages addressing their inability to make an actual attempt at creating safe bathroom experience that have been ignored or deleted..  “Um, what the hell do you mean? There’s huge signs saying you can use WHATEVER bathroom you want! You should be grateful!” you might say. There’s still multiple “MEN’S” and “WOMEN’S” signs that are visible around these bathrooms; we aren’t actually creating a gender inclusive bathroom experience if cis men and women are basically still going to their designated gendered bathrooms. This is an issue because it causes trans people to stand out and continue to be targeted.

I speak from experience when I came out as trans last year and was more “androgynous” looking and decided to use the “gender neutral” men’s bathroom. One man commented on how my breasts looked nice and another man came out of a stall and made eye contact with me. Then, he came over and shouted,  “Y’KNOW, WHY NOT HAVE GIRLS IN THE MEN’S BATHROOM?!” while throwing his arm around me and chuckling while I stood there uncomfortable and feeling unsafe.  Milwaukee Pride needs to do better for trans people because we literally wouldn’t have pride if it wasn’t for black and brown trans womxn.

2. Pride was a RIOT. The Police were MURDERING US AND BEATING US: WHY TF ARE COPS AT MKE PRIDE?   

I reached out to trans and queer people on social media asking what their experiences were at Milwaukee Pride and how safe they felt. Almost instantly, the response was about how bigots in Blue Lives Matters shirts and religious zealots violently screamed at black and brown QT people to repent for their existence during the Pride parade. Another QT Indigenous POC reported violent transphobia at a block party that happened after the pride parade. In all these violent accounts of racist, pro-police bullshit, the police of course stood by and did nothing. This is nothing new. We all know the cops don’t protect anyone and just enforce violence and mass genocide of black and brown people, so why the fuck are they at Pride? Have we really fucking forgotten the origin of all of this? Having cops at pride events erases what our trancestors and trans elders fought for in the first place.  

3.  Rainbow capitalism, alcohol and anti-lgbtq+ vendors: Stop profiting off of our queerness!  

If having the same white DJs playing shitty EDM and 1 Cardi B song, despite her being transphobic, while a drunk man is grinding on your back without consent is not annoying enough for you - let’s dive a little deeper into MKE Pride’s non-sober space issue! Honestly, I don’t even know where the fuck to start because it’s such a fucking mess.  “LADIEEEES!” vendors left and right cat-call at me and my black trans/nonbinary friends and continue to misgender us and meet us with disrespectful glares when I snap back saying we’re not girls. Bitch, do you even know where you are??

  Milwaukee Pride forces already poor and working class LGBTQ+ people of color to pay an outrageous price of $18 just for corporations and vendors to cat-call and misgender young trans people because all they care about is getting a dollar in their pocket. Miller Lite doesn’t give a fuck about us not having sober spaces. The lack of sober spaces for young QTPOC alone in Milwaukee is alarming and dangerous. Isolation and depression is more common among QTPOC (ages 18-24) in this city than you think. Isolation and depression are main factors that lead to alcoholism, drug addiction, and suicide.

Young LGBTQ+ community members already face so much isolation, hate, and violence, and being outcasted left and right. They don’t have spaces to be themselves and for a lot of young people, their first time at Pride is something sacred. It’s a space that’s decorated in what seems like an invitation to be yourself and be safe doing so when it’s not. This reflects on both Milwaukee Pride being a dangerous non-sober place and the fact that Milwaukee is such a terrible place for young LGBTQ+ people, especially young black and brown lgbtq+ people.

When I went to go see Kim Petras at Milwaukee Pride this year, there was a couple wrapped in a trans flag holding each other behind me, and next to me was my partner. Even though I was being approached by white people all day asking me racist questions like if I knew how to “ninja stuff,” and asking me if the plastic sword I was carrying was a “katana,” I felt relief. I thought, finally, I can dance and have a good time and see an amazing live trans pop artist up close! It wasn’t even mid-concert when a tall drunk man shoved his way through the young LGBTQ+ people around him to get to the front. He was behind me, yelling, and began pushing his crotch against my back. Trying to not make a scene, I kept trying to move forward with the little space I had. Maybe he just balance issues, I thought. He brought his hand up to my side and started to touch me under my muscle tank before I jerked away and yelled at him to stop touching me.

I’m fucking tired. This is the 2nd year I’ve been sexually harassed and inappropriately touched at Pride. Why do I always have to be in fear of my trans body being violated, whether it’d be verbally or physically, at pride? 

I wrote this not to shame Milwaukee Pride go-ers. I went this year. But, there needs to be change. There needs to be a call-to-action. Stonewall is an important part of our history and to capitalize off of a riot where police were beating our trans elders who demanded our rights, just to have marginalized identities get harassed and abused at Pride is a disgrace to what Pride is. Stonewall is still now. Stonewall is legacy that can not die. I’m urging this city within and outside of the LGBTQ+ community to reflect on what Pride is all about. I have never left Milwaukee Pride filled with so much shame. Many of us have walked away from Milwaukee Pride traumatized and violated.

I was surrounded by the smell of alcohol and drugs, in a fever dream of EDM feeling the weight of Stonewall’s history in my heart, thinking of how disappointed and disgusted Sylvia and Marsha would be, and the lives of so many black trans womxn that we lost. Milwaukee Pride is a fucking disgrace to the Stonewall Riots and contradicts everything the Stonewall trans activists stood for. You cannot run from our history. You can not deny our history. We Will Rise.

“This Queer Liberation movement is not over. It  never ended. Stonewall is NOW.” - Still Here: Trans Alliance for Trans Rights.

[piilukko]

Electoral Shenanigans II – Finnish Municipal boogaloo

Finnish Municipal Election of 2017 is over and the votes have been cast and counted – at last, one might say after seeing months of campaigning and advertising.

Note: if you are entirely unfamiliar with Finnish politics and political culture, you might want to start here, for example, for a crash course how we got to this point and about the so called The Finns Party, our version of the right-wing populist movement. You might also want to check what a Finnish municipality actually it and what does it do. 

Worth noting is that those things are not entirely fixed. In the past municipalities were allowed to things like banning sales of all alcohol. They had the power to set regulations on public order – all of which was replaced by a state-wide Public Order Act in 2003. At moment government working removing healthcare and welfare from municipalities responsibilities and setting up county administration for them – but parties disagree and at the moment no one is 100% certain what a Finnish municipality is going to be in the future. And last and not least: not all Finnish people are entirely familiar with this either. Most of the candidates are ordinary people, not career politicians. The council members get financial compensation, but not salary, it is not their job. Sometimes people campaign and vote based on matters entirely beyond the scope of municipal politics.

Municipal elections are often seen as some kind of “half-way there” elections between parliamentary elections (both the parliament and city and municipality councils have four year terms and nowadays the municipal election really occur in the middle of the parliament term). Commentators often try find if policies on governmental level are having an effect on municipal level, if the voters are sending a message to cabinet ministers and the parties, but probably at least some voters are ignoring those factors altogether and voting purely on local matters. Especially in small town, where people know at least some council members personally – a Finnish municipality can be anything from Helsinki ,with its 600k residents,  to small villages of couple of hundreds residents – and the median is a couple thousands residents.

So, despite we kinda had like over 300 separate elections on the same day, with technically speaking nothing do with each other, maybe we can look some of the themes.

The True Finns lost big time. They are a populist party with a long history of as anti-establishment protest party for conservatives – anti-immigration, anti-European Union, anti-LGBT, anti-environmentalism, anti-whatever those damned hippies, liberals and bicyclists are trying this tme. A party for the honest heterosexual, white, meat-eating, house-owning. car-owning common man (and also the common woman, should she accept the traditional gender roles), we’ll also take good care your old mother struggling on her small pension, as long as you vote us and accept Carl G.E. Mannerheim as your lord and saviour.

Somewhat like Trump? Maybe, the main difference being a different political system and culture, the D’Hondt election system used here has it disadvantages but at least it’s not first-past-the-post and allows for a real multiparty system. True Finns chairman Timo Soini started building the party in the 90′s and started gaining more and more support election by election. 

After the collapse of the Soviet Union (which meant old school communism lost most of its appeal) Finnish politics have featured The Big Three of parties. Included are The Social Democrats – a moderate (very moderate) left-wing party). The Centre Party – a party started as the Agrarian League having moderate success in cities but absolutely ruling the rural areas. The National Coalition – the right-wing party, sometimes quite far on the right, I mean not as in nazi far-right, but on the political compass the they are scattered like some one fired a shotgun towards the right side of the chart – but at least they don’t hate people of color, they just hate people of no money. Especially their youth organization often sees no shame in literal minarchism (ironically they started as the monarchist party)

And at least for a moment, Soini was able to manage to transform this triumvirate into The Big Four, with the True Finns actually gaining more votes than the Social Democrats. And if you think I make this sound like a one man project, it truly is, in modern politics in Finland there are no other mainstream examples of the same person leading one party for twenty years.

Well, then they joined the government (as in were not in opposition anymore, if you are unfamiliar with consensus politics) in 2011 and their voters found out that not only they were unable to banish all foreigners (or at least the black people or at least the Muslims) like some of their voters must genuinely have believed. They also found no problem supporting the National Coalition’s and Centre Party’s austerity policies (remember the old mother and her pension) and also were unable to stop the loaning money to Greece (lost story short:most experts agree we are definitely not getting back, Greece is broke) and so their approval ratings made a historically bad dive. 

Not only their voters, many True Finn council members all around the nation lost their faith in the party, saw the writing on the wall or found out their party was full of brownshirts – be it ideological reasons or just hopes to be at least somewhat re-electable, they chose to switch parties mid-term. One famous example was Youtube celebrity Tykylevits, who as a very surprising move secede from True Finns and found the Green Party chapter of his small home town, gaining Greens two seats of 27, a significant feat in the middle of Centre Party country.

So, The True Finns lost roughly speaking one third of their support and I hope this is the start of their end as the natural lifespan of a populist party full of air reaches its finale. We cannot get rid of them altogether, but at least on the national level they will once again be a fringe party. They might go far-right (this time I mean nazi far-right) depending who will be elected as the chairman after Soini decided to not run for the position anymore – and most importantly who will remain, candidate-wise and voter-wise, when it becomes apparent the support for the “working man’s party” is fading. One of the main candidates for the seat is Jussi Halla-aho, a well known anti-immigration and anti-gun control zealot with very little opinions on anything else. Anway, the parliament election is in 2019 and I expect to see them losing similar amount of votes there.

The True Finns in Tampere were a great example of the mess the party is in. Their local chapter chairwoman was expelled from the main party, officially because of a minor economical mishap regarding travel expenses (which the party claim she did on purpose), I think it was really because she was too far-right for a party with parliament seats. Anyway, the chapter chose not to expel her (despite this being clearly against party rules) and instead chose her as one of their candidates. 

On the other hand they spent shitloads of money campaigning (on the local radio stations for example) against the Tampere tramway project, even though the council already voted green for it (48 votes against 18), they are already building the tracks and the city would have to pay reasonable amount of mount (I think 10% of the actual costs of the project?) to several companies if they scrapped the project at this point. And after all, the TF could have just said that they were against the project, the lost in the voting, they accept it and now they will concentrate on other matters.

This is not exactly how you get sensible people vote you, right, even if they agreed with you? They lost five of their ten seats.

The Big Three all got roughly 20% support each, nationwide, and there’s not much interesting to say about that. They all have lots of very loyal supporters and I would be surprised to see very rapid changes in their support nationwide, even thought this might happen in individual municipalities, where it all might be about whether some local popular person chooses to run for the next term or not. The same applies to the Swedish Party which is smaller but get’s the same amount of votes anyway every time.

The Greens won, about everywhere, getting their greatest share of votes in any Finnish election (Pekka Haavisto’s success in the presidential election of 2012 does not count) . They have branded themselves as the opposite of the True Finns – main themes include enviromental issues (including but not limited to climate change), LGBT rights, anti-racism and generally trying to keep the Finnish welfare state with free education and such from disintegrating. Bicycling activists and public transport advocates tend to join the party, first openly gay MP was Green, you get the idea.

For many urban dwellers who don’t care about politics that much, they are becoming the default party – “the Good Guys you should vote if you’re on the side of the Good Guys”. The transformation of a pure nature preservation society to a political party fighting for wide range of issues has alienated some of the hardcore environmentalists but was, I think, absolutely necessary, because the great masses (and not even yours truly) are not willing to accept the strict “eco-fascism” of likes of Pentti Linkola. I’d say they are the 21th century version of the Social Democrats. (The Social Democrats on the other hand, are still the 20th century version of themselves and will gradually lose MP seats because their voters die. Of old age)

One of the biggest surprises was Jyväskylä, where Greens become the biggest party, I think for the first time any city, ever. Might be because it’s midsize city with a rather big university, might be because some very popular candidates with personal following.

...and then there’s the Left Alliance, which started from the ashes of former communist parties but has reform itself to basically “we are just like the Greens, but we are also socialists” – emphasizing the old cliche that while The Greens refuse to define themselves on the traditional left-right scale, many see them as the “park and forest department of National Coalition”. As a challenge, The Left has it “industrial wing”, labour union activists, some of them who might not be willing to sacrifice jobs on the altar of environmentalism, should these two factors be at odds.

And at last, an election where the Left got more votes than last time, hooray! A moderate victory, but a victory nonetheless. Under the lead of very charismatic Li Andersson, it is possible the party may see similar success in the parliamentary election –hopefully the party will never again choose to enter the government with the together National Coalition, a move that was seen by many as selling-out, motivated by the party elite’s lust for “the backseat of a black Audi”, a common phrase symbolizing the prestige, luxury and financial compensation of a cabinet minister. 

(Yours truly voted for the Left so there might some bias in this post)

And then there’s the Christian Democrats, who changed their name to match a certain German mainstream party but are a fringe party still. They’re mostly from certain fundamentalist sects, liberal mainstream Christian usually joining other parties. They managed to get some more votes this time, perhaps because of their new chairwoman, an Olympic medalist in race walking and thus a former national hero. On the other hand, her predecessor was so unpopular she became one of the main memes in Finnish Tumblr and other social media.

Feminist Party, a newcomer, gained one seat in Helsinki, I suppose mainly because their chairwomen was invited to the fringe party panel on the TV and as one might guess, for a good public speaker it’s rather easy to look sane and professional, the other participants usually including libertarians and several communist parties unable to co-operate. 

I have mixed feelings about the party, I think there’s a lot of work to do in animal rights (a newly formed Animal Rights Party participated the same panel), ethnic minorities rights, feminist issues, QUILTBAG issues, environmentalism, city planning, not to mention class struggle, what else, and within this political system and D’Hondt voting, separating all these issues to their own separate parties sounds like the worst possible outcome. But what can i say if some-one feels that no other party is feminist enough? 

On the municipal level there’s always space for smaller players – Helsinki council has 85 seats and it’s all one voting distinct (no gerrymandering is possible) and many councils have local movements not participating in the state-level politics at all. On the parliament level, I fear the Greens, The Lefts, The Feminists and The Animal Rights Party will compete from the same votes and for example in Tavastia Proper only 14 MP seats are available and this might even mean none of them getting any seats. Satakunta and Lapland Distincts are even smaller. Hopefully they at least agree on electoral alliances.

Yarrr, The Pirates managed to get one seat in Helsinki and one in Jyväskylä (see the notion of Jyväskylä being a university town). I don’t share their idea of entire abolition of copyright, but they have a snowball change in hell in implementing it and otherwise many of them offer a welcome addition to politics. Many of them are IT professionals, municipal expertise in those issues (like buying infrastructure and support) has traditionally been scarce.

And finally, the Communists lost. After the mainstream communist parties (yes, that was a thing in Finland) crashed, burned and rose like the Phoenix as the Left Alliance, several people were unhappy with this, mainly because LA was not, well, communist, and promptly founded the Communist Party of Finland again. In the post-Soviet atmosphere, they have never got any MP seats or anything like that, but the municipal councils are another thing for them too and they actually have managed to have several seats in council, most famously in the big cities of Helsinki and Tampere.

Yrjö Hakanen, their former chairman, is popular character in the political life of our capital. I think not all his voters even are communists themselves, after all, in the city council he cannot seize the means of production, but he can and will speak for the poor, the old, the ill and the unemployed. Tampere, on the other hand, has historically been known as the “Red City” and only partly because brick-walled former factory buildings (these days used as museums and office space). But alas, in neither of the cities there were enough votes for the party and then something happened, something that in the 1970′s would have been bourgeoisie daydreaming and still in the 1990′s was hard to imagine – there will be no communists in the council.

The same happened in some smaller towns too and I haven’t checked all the election data, but it might be that last stronghold for literal communist will be Nokia (the city, not the phone company or the tyre company), and even there their seats we reduced from three to one.

(This didn’t not stop Timo Soini from announcing “bicycle communists”, whatever that means, have taken over Finland)

(There’s also “Communist Workers' Party – For Peace and Socialism”, yes, that is their official party name, but that’s an another story and not a very popular one)

EDIT: The Social Democrats lost support. With the True Finns collapsing and “freeing” 3.5 percent points and Coalition and Centre losing one point each. one would think, that one of the old “major” players, SDP, would gain support. No, they lost also a little from municipal election of 2012. Although they are bragging about a rise in popularity compared to the parliament election of 2015, I think that’s comparing apples with oranges.

So I went back in history and checked all the elections, checking all municipal, parliament and European parliament elections compared to previous one of the same kind – YLE and Wikipedia make this very easy – and the result is devastating: sometimes a party wins and sometimes a party loses, but last time SDP gained seats was in 2004. 13 years ago. That was before Youtube, several years before Finns started joining Facebook and so on. (I’m not saying this just for scale, SDP is definitely not a social media party).

This is beyond the scope of this post and this election, but I think, if no drastic changes of party image, organization and leadership are made, The Social Democrats will become a mid-size party, perhaps even a small party, someone has to fill the void and The Greens my guess who will fill a lions share of this void.

And then to the “I am not making this up”-section of this post.

Paavo Väyrynen is Finnish political legend, an MP and MEP for many terms, a minister of several cabinets, a long time Centre party chairman. He has always been and will always be – at least from my point of view, he was elected to the Parliament before I was born. He’s very hard to explain to any foreigner (after all, he’s from the Centre and that party itself is very hard to explain, why the agrarian party is often the most popular). 

He’s a dinosaur from the seventies, a player of games, the trickster of Finnish politics. He gets involved in scandals, is sometimes hit but them but surfaces again like a Whack-a-Mole. He has solid support in Northern Finland. He runs for parliament and refuses to accept the seat he won’t get a minister position. He’s chosen by the party on “suicide mission”, a disposable way past his “best before” candidate for a doomed campaign against Sauli Niinistö, he has fun and manages to bring himself back to spotlight of politics. The party gave him the title of “honorary chairman”, apparently because he was too valuable and popular to let go, but too dangerous and unpredictable to let to interfere with actual politics.

So he started his own party, which made the Centre Party expel him: except by the party rules, the main office cannot do that, the local chapter should expel him and he’s their hero. Party does not want to expel the entire local chapter and the situation remains stalemate.

However, while his new “Citizen Party” is already in official party register and should be able to appoint candidates to all elections, Väyrynen chose to enter the municipal election. In Helsinki. As an independent candidate on the candidate list of... Christian Democrats. Apparently he had composed an army of NIMBYs (mainly against building more apartments to Helsinki allowing it grow), including some far-right activist. The Christian Democrats found out about the nature of these candidates after the candidate list were already fixed, so they just chose to shun these people from their posters.

However, none of the problematic candidates were elected – Väyrynen himself was, with over thousand votes. Now we wonder should he accept the seat, after all, he might have technically difficulties attending council meeting, considering the fact that he is at the moment a MEP.

Finnish politics would be much, much more boring without Paavo Väyrynen.

Pictured: chairman of the Greens Ville Niinistö celebrating victory; Paavo Väyrynen