#TANKSBANE

[thessalian]

Adding my own here:

Compilation of Ryūjin no ken wo- Bwahhh

[thessalian]

Thess vs Achievement

We had a problematic Zenyatta on Volskaya today.

Last match of the night, our sole healer is a Zenyatta. Not bad, if he knows what he’s doing. Or is naturally good, I tell myself when I note his five hours of time on Zenyatta.

When we launch into the match, though, he starts going on and on to the D.Va about, “Don’t block! I want my healing achievement, so when I hit my ult, you DON’T BLOCK. Get as hurt as possible so I can get my achievement! Don’t BLOCK!”

D.Va, of course, is a tank. Blocking? Kinda her job. So the D.Va, who much like most of the rest of us cares more about playing to the best of their abilities than some guy’s achievement (particularly when they ask in such an aggressive, entitled manner), plays D.Va the way D.Va should be played. Fairly solid, from what I could see while running around the point desperately trying to keep turrets up.

I don’t think he even announced his Transcendence being up; he just hit it and shouted, “D.Va, don’t block DON’T BLOCK!”

I also don’t think the D.Va was anywhere near his ult at the time, being a bit busy harassing an enemy. Almost as if she was a HARASSMENT TANK.

So that ends and the Zenny player’s going, “Dude, D.Va, you don’t LISTEN. I tell you not to block so I can get my ult and it’s like the words just coast over you and--” blah blah blah.

At this point I just typed, “Dude, shut up”. And he did. For awhile.

After which point we hear this little ning-nong go, “I like watching our D.Va die. It’s fun.”

................YOU’RE THE FUCKING HEALER, YOU PETTY ASSHOLE!

Then he gave up and went Mei. Which left us with no healer but I was too damn busy trying to keep people off the point to notice or I might have swapped.

Dude, seriously, I get wanting the achievement, but the fun is when it’s not manufactured. I mean, I got the Car Wash achievement on Symmetra (have all seven available lasers hitting one target at the same time) by accident by setting up a web of sadness on that first arch on Dorado and charging in to finish off their Reinhardt. I didn’t even realise what it was at first. And heal achievements? Come on; don’t make players make that call. If they make one false move when not blocking when a team is steamrollering them, they’re dead. Don’t make them make that call. And don’t be petty and let your tank die, thus being a major contributing factor in losing the match, just because no one was willing to potentially sacrifice themselves for your achievement.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Ridiculousness

No, but seriously, Overwatch was a hoot last night, not even counting my eating of a Hanzo ult (which ... okay, I’ll be honest; I am mostly so thrilled about this because it’s pretty much the first time I’ve ever done it deliberately. Every single other time I’ve done it by accident and ... well, I learn by doing so having done it deliberately once just means that I’ll be better placed to do it again in future).

The Shrine in Nepal, for example. You know, the pit? There was one moment where I got booped and blown out of my mech and I was positive I was going to fall down the pit and die. Except I didn’t and I could not figure out what I was standing on. There are these little extruding bits of brickwork on the inner walls and apparently I’d been blown onto one. The problem is that there’s nowhere to go from there, and you’re in plain sight. So I basically had to content myself with plugging away at anyone in my line of sight before someone took advantage of my being a mechless sitting duck.

My Symmetra PotG was kind of hysterical, mostly because all it showed was me trying to find a good safe hiding spot for my teleporter while my laser turrets melted everything offscreen. Eichenwalde was better, though the PotG went to @true0neutral as Torbjorn - this involved the two of us going back to the defense double-team that worked so damn well when we first started playing, basically setting up web and turret of DEATH. I took out the same Reinhardt twice in quick succession, helped by @fauxfire76 Lucio-booping him back into my line of sight as the Mercy rezzed them all (just before I grafted my laser to her spine).

The Torb PotG got one of the funniest meltdowns I’ve ever seen firsthand, to be fair. Our Reaper got a quad kill and was congratulating himself in team chat as our victory screen flashed up, all “Wonder what the potg is...” and then it was Torb and it all went to insane all-caps and ... yeaaaaaah.

I managed to jet out of the well on Ilios when someone booped me into it.

I actually played a half-solid Widowmaker. (NEED MORE PRACTICE.)

Actually played a half-solid Tracer the other day. (NEED YET MORE PRACTICE.)

Should try Sombra again.

Then again, given @fauxfire76 wants to try Mei next and I don’t trust a good 99.7% of the Overwatch player base to heal me (I mean, like, I trust three or four people thus far and that is because I know them all), I may have to start building my Mercy plays up again. Not that I haven’t been anyway; every time we’re in game with @hyperewok1 and we hit a defense map it’s @hyperewok1 as Bastion, @true0neutral as Reinhardt and me as Mercy, bouncing around the map healing as required before retreating to the safety of Reinhardt’s shield wall and incidentally damage-boosting the hell out of Bastion bullet rain. Alternatively if we have a Mercy already (*waves at @miaaoi*), I can go Mei and put up a wall between us and the flying bullets when Reinhardt’s shield needs to recharge.

We have team tactics. It’s kind of awesome.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Patch Day

It was totally Patch Day today. Overwatch got patched, TOR got patched...

Overwatch getting patched meant one thing to me: THE RETURN OF TANKSBANE.

And HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT.

Took me a little while to get used to the flying shield but when I did ... heeeeeeheeheeheehee.

Having all your turrets available at once is a fucking GODSEND.

I managed to nuke a Reaper with the extended range on my hand laser. That was pretty awesome.

And that shield generator turns the second point capping on Volskaya (and, by extension, probably Hanamura) from “fucking difficult to cap” to “beating your head against a brick wall for five minutes with no appreciable benefit”. We just kept turning them back and back and back...

TANKSBANE LIVES AGAIN! AND TANKSBANE KICKS ASS!

I also actually got a PotG as D.Va. Look, this is rare for me these days, okay? Mostly because I now often play with @hyperewok1 and he plays Bastion and Pharah for the most part and he plays them fucking well so I generally resign myself to knowing that he’s gettin’ the POTGs. Buuuut I did manage to clear the payload on Hollywood with a well-aimed self-destructing mech and then shoot that obnoxious Symmetra in the head and that earned me POTG so there am I happy.

Aaaaaand there was some Mercy play, which I’ll do more often when playing with my guys. (Love my guys, really. They at least try to protect me. @miaaoi always remembers to shield me when he’s on Zarya, and @true0neutral always make sure to know where I am and angles his shield accordingly if at all possible.) No POTGs, but I did get a couple of highlights ... one a Lifesaver for saving my guys by shooting the enemy Reinhardt in the back before he could follow up on his Earthshatter. That was priceless.

But yeah, TOR has also patched, for those who are distracted and might want to remember to patch before Saturday’s Shenanigans (so @generalmaximus and possibly @fauxfire76). Just ... also be warned that it’s snowball season and rakghoul resurgence so there’s going to be snowflakes and plague everywhere.

[felvidek]

A World of Tanksban konkrétan végig lehet lövöldözni, most nagyjából ugyanígy nézhet ki IRL :(

Wow, fészen jött szembe, gondolnátok, hogy ez a cucc Harkovban (Harkivban) van és majdnem 100 éves? Óvatosan felveszem a bakancslistára, hátha.

[thessalian]

Another little bit of setting my highlights to music. This time? TANKSBANE.

[thessalian]

Thess vs BOOM

There will have to be more highlights uploaded to YouTube. I just got my second PotG as D.Va, and this one was worthy of the name.

Hollywood: we were on attack and I decided that I’d done quite enough healing for the moment, so I was trucking as Harassment Tank D.Va. They had us pretty significantly locked down despite my constantly trying to nuke their Torby turrets. In the end, though, we were having some issues clearing the point. I swear, I could not have organised this better without, like, a Zarya ult or something. Basically I switched on the forward barrier so I could get into position without being shot out of my mech, found the right angle and... BOOM. Five players, two turrets - all gone. We got the payload and, while we ultimately lost, a lot of that was rather unfortunately due to one INCREDIBLY sneaky Bastion.

There was also a nifty Mercy moment in Dorado. We had a pretty hard slog while moving the payload, particularly given that I was EVERYONE’S priority target. And of course, no one was actually protecting me or anything... But we lucked out as the payload was approaching its destination in that the tanks were harassing the other team, our McCree had his ult up and I was right behind him, watching the prep animation start up. So I switched on the damage boost and boom - no more enemy team. When that particular moment made PotG, our McCree got really boastful: “Damn straight,” they said - “Check out that style!” I decided I was through not getting credit for helping make people’s plays of the game so I piped up, “Check out that damage boost”. Response, which made me feel much better about the player in general: “Oh, really? Thanks, man!”

It occurs to me to wonder how many people who play in matches with or against me think there’s a male on the other end of this keyboard. Then I wonder what these people who think that “only dudes can be good at video games” actually mean by that. Do they mean dudes as in dudes, or do they mean people who were assigned male at birth? Of course, then I reason that any asshole sexist enough to say that only dudes can be good at video games probably aren’t open-minded enough to accept trans men as men. And then I just want to shoot their little avatars’ little pixelated faces RIGHT OFF THEIR HEADS.

Still going, because I am trying to catch up with @true0neutral before he hits level 100. I am halfway to level 97 now. And I am full of coffee and spite. Coffee and spite make for great Symmetra and D.Va play, by the way. Symmetra is good for cold, calculating, “How do I make your life as miserable as possible?” spite; D.Va is good for passionate, raging “FUCK YOU AND YOU AND THAT GUY IN PARTICULAR”.

I have plenty of both. I am multitalented that way.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Murdergremlin

I think I need to take a break from playing Mercy for awhile. People refused to go heals on my first Overwatch match of the day and I nearly snapped from the sheer stress, lack of protection (except for @true0neutral who always tries) and lack of appreciation I received.

But before I was saddled with Mercy at a time I was not in the mood for healing ... I got my first D.Va Play of the Game. Which was kind of hysterical because I launched my self-destructing mech and the enemy D.Va launched it half a beat behind ... and ONLY at me. I got a quadruple kill - enemy D.Va included - and got into my mech just at the point that the enemy D.Va’s exploding mech blew up. I lost my mech but I survived a point-blank NERF THIS.

I’ve been tearing shit up as D.Va lately. Dual-tanking with a good Reinhardt, for instance, is made of win. One match I essentially ploughed through the enemy lines and cleared a path for our Reinhardt to bludgeon through and get us the win. My entire tactic is chasing people around so they’re paying more attention to me than to the payload, and incidentally MURDERING FACE.

@true0neutral has decided on my D.Va related Tumblr tag for posts like this. So ... now I have the following:

I R HEALBABE (for Mercy)

TANKSBANE (for Symmetra)

MURDERGREMLIN (for D.Va)

Tanksbane was right today, though. Hollywood, we kept them back as long as we did at least in part because I snuck around the side, nuked their Pharah and then tore their Reinhardt and D.Va to shreds. Man that D.Va hated me. So much. So very much. She lost so many mechs. Also I managed to laser-globe a Tracer in the face much like that one Genji-wrecking highlight I posted last week. I mean, a TRACER.

As for Murdergremlin ... yeah, basically. Like I said, my primary playstyle on D.Va is either “YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAASS!” or “HERE I AM IN YOUR FACE MURDERING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!” I love jetting up to sniper nests and terrifying / murdering snipers. The Hanzo at Watchpoint: Gibraltar was particularly unhappy with me. As was the Junkrat I murdered, like, eight times. But even more often it’s D.Va vs D.Va and that’s always just hysterical.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Gandalf Impressions

I solo-tanked an Overwatch match last night.

...I actually SOLO TANKED SOMETHING holy shit.

This is a big deal for me, okay? The only time before Overwatch that I’ve ever tanked anything was WoW, where my party got really salty with me about my ‘not doing enough DPS’. Look, I don’t give two shits about my DPS unless I’m playing DPS. If I’m healing, my job is not to DPS; my job is to keep your ungrateful asses off the floor by whatever means necessary (which I wanted to shout at our supposed healer Priest who kept spamming DPS spells in that particular raid and seemed to resent having to heal me at all). If I’m tanking, my job is not to do damage, exactly; it is to stand in front of all the powers of hell if need be, scream, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” and take every single shred of damage that could flatten, say, our healer. Anyway, point is that we got halfway through Gnomergan before they kicked me from the party in the middle of the dungeon because my not doing DPS as a tank meant I sucked. Apparently. I kind of lost my taste for tanking in a big way after that.

Then I discovered harassment tanking on D.Va. Of late, my absolute favourite thing to do is what I can only really call ‘jump scares’. Pharahs are a significant problem but if they’re trying to deal with the huge mech that just rocket-boosted all up in their business, they’re not shooting at anybody else - like the Mercy, or the Reinhardt who’s trying to deflect Soldier aimbot spam below. Same is true of Widowmakers, Hanzos and anybody with a turret in a difficult position; jet in, open fire, probably die but what the hell; it’s still taking three people to take me down and they’re not sniping at anyone else if they’re distracted with angry flying mech.

Except our last match of the night - a defense run on Watchpoint: Gibraltar... Weeeeell, I started with Symmetra as I usually do but we lost our only tank somewhere in the middle of what looked to be the start of a serious roll for the attackers. At which point they hit the first checkpoint and I thought, “...fuck it” and went D.Va.

There was a lot of harassment. A. LOT. But in the end, the thing ended with me scaring everybody off into the waiting sightlines of our flankers, standing on top of the payload and ventilating anyone who came close. At various points their Reaper, Genji and Tracer were trying to get me off the payload, but whenever they got into a decent line of sight to shoot at me, I’d just open fire on them. Them being squishy, they were gonna die before I did. They tried from one of the catwalks but I alternated the shields with shooting at them to make them break line of sight. And on a couple of occasions when my Ult was up I just launched my mech in the direction they were coming from and managed to catch a couple at a time in the “suddenly!mechsplosion” that landed in their front yard.

The payload had nearly reached checkpoint 2. I had it almost back to checkpoint 1 by the time the match was over.

There is now a threat to make me solo tank more often. I have bargained this down to ‘only on payload maps’.

Also, from a Numbani defense (which we lost, but damn it was a good fight)

Triple Kill: *happens*

@thessalian: *cackles*

@true0neutral: ...WHAT DID YOU DOOOO?

@thessalian: I turret-spiked the payload.

@true0neutral: You’re EVIL!

[thessalian]

And this is what I mean when I say I’m Tanksbane. There was a harmony orb and a Lucio ult on this guy!

[thessalian]

Hi, Genji! Bye, Genji!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Reinhardt

Aside from, like, four matches entirely made of asshole (except for the one Reaper who actually turned around and regularly ended the enemy Genji who was making it his mission in life to bisect me on that last run through Volskaya on attack), one thing has stood out in my Overwatch playing so far tonight:

I took down a Reinhardt. At full health. With Lucio ult. And Harmony Orb. Solo. No turrets or anything. Just me, laser globe to the face, and dancing around him keeping my laser attached to him until he fell over.

I actually have proof I did this. That’s another Highlight that needs - NEEDS - to be posted.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Trying New Things

I had a day off yesterday and used it to play video games. Overwatch featured prominently. Herein lie the more memorable moments from my two-level climb.

Now traveling to Numbani...

Total hold for our defense. On Symmetra, I started by tactically placing turrets and aiming my laser globe at a natural choke point, obliging people to either take the (web of sadness-spiked) side routes or get plastered. This action earns me Play of the Game - one guy who’d already taken a beating and a triple-kill. Comment from the first guy who died in my PotG? “There’s no skill involved there!” I stifled the sarcastic response I wanted to make: “Tactical use of the environment to make four kills in three seconds? Noooooooo, no skill involved there...”

Welcome to Hollywood...

Defense again. Another hold for our defense. My highlight involved ... well, I will post it sometime but it was basically my annihilating an incoming Widowmaker with a laser globe, someone else dying to turrets offscreen, and then my turning around and spotting a Genji trying to flank. So I go the other way around the limo, charging a laser globe. Just as he kicks in with “Ryujin no ken wo--” I go around the limo and BAM. Laser globe to the face. And just keep going, stepping over him as I spike the payload with a turret. Damn, that was fun.

But the POTG was a McCree. I’d put the turret in a nice little flanking spot (spiked with turrets, obviously) and McCree came out to find four people clambering onto the point. His ult was up, and he used it, and everybody died, and we held. But as the PotG was playing, our healer went into Match chat and said, “McCree POTG brought to you by Symmetra.” I just typed “*bow*” before I left.

Now entering Hanamura...

We were on attack this time, and we had a player who freely admitted that he’d never tried Zenyatta before and wanted to try him out. This didn’t go well and they eventually switched to McCree, but not before costing us significant momentum. He apologised and said, “I shouldn’t have tried that when I saw a Mercy”. Which is kind of rare, because a lot of people who aren’t doing so well as a character blame everyone else.

Same match, we’re trying to get through rat’s nest of flankers to get to the point, with me traveling behind McCree for protection. He tried; I saw how hard he tried, even managing to stun the Genji mid-ult. Unfortunately it didn’t last long enough for me to get out of the side room I was boxed into and I got slaughtered, with the McCree dying soon after (this still being the guy who’d tried Zenyatta for awhile). While I’m watching the replay, I get this in Team chat: “Sorry I couldn’t protect you, Mercy...” I wish I remembered his name; this individual was great.

Now traveling to Route 66...

While waiting at spawn, the Reaper line about “This is where I picked up the damn ingrate” triggered. Amused, I mentioned in Team chat that the ‘damn ingrate’ was standing right over there, as we had a McCree. The McCree player said, “Shut up, you damn brony”. I blinked at the screen for a few seconds, going, “...where do I even start with how off the mark your assessment is?” ... and then all of a sudden: “I’m sorry; that was rude.” In about the time it takes to hit tab and check to see what the person you were just rude at is playing. Given how much he was bellowing for healing in that rather unfortunate match, I think he had a sudden attack of “oh shit I pissed off the healer oh shit oh shit oh shit”.

Now arriving at Ilios...

This was a fairly unfortunate match where we already had a Mercy (who wasn’t bad, as it went). I tried Mei, which worked alright, but I couldn’t break the block of two Bastions and a Torby for very long as Mei. I mean, shit, this was Ruins. We desperately needed a harassment tank. So I tried D.Va. Which involved me charging up to the Torby turret and the Bastion and opening fire. Much like with Mei, I took the fuckers with me.

Next round, I stayed on D.Va. This was at the well, and I spent some fairly fun moments charging the Bastions with shield matrix activated and then opening fire. Honestly, I don’t give two shits if I die; so long as you’re shooting at me, you’re not shooting at anyone else. I drove a Reinhardt and two of the flankers into a back room not because I thought I could take them all but because it made sure that there were only three people between the rest of my team and the point. Anyway, one issue we had was a Widowmaker on a roof sniping at people. Widowmakers go after healers. I don’t like it when people go after healers. So I got out of her line of sight, rocket-boosted straight up the wall and got right in her Odette-costumed little face. She could not nope out of there fast enough.

Now traveling to Dorado...

D.Va again, which I’m actually starting to enjoy. We were on defense this time and I figured I’d give it ago. Basically I started the whole thing by standing on the payload, mech and all, and opening fire on anyone who came anywhere near it. They took me down eventually, but meantime the payload wasn’t moving and our flankers were picking everyone else off. That was fun.

Welcome to Hollywood (again)...

We were on attack at this point and their defense was fucking insane. When we started, I was on Mercy but I decided fuck a bunch of that when the enemy team consisted of way too many Torbjorns. Like, five. We weren’t punching through at all, we needed a harassment tank so I just went, “Fine, fuck this” and went D.Va. Managed to clear the point, managed to push us nearly to the end, and while we lost, I turned a total lock into a fight-for-every-inch scrap. Even when they got a clue and swapped most of their extraneous Torbys, but leaving two and a Bastion to turn the final run to the destination point into a kill chute. That one I eventually managed to handle with a well-placed “NERF THIS!” right down the line into the basically immobile Bastion and the Torby turrets.

Now arriving at Lijiang Tower...

D.Va again, Gardens map. I essentially did the sneaky “launch self-destructing mech through window” move, timed so it’d blow right after their Zenyatta’s ult was done going off. A small moment, but I’m proud of it anyway.

In general, I am still tanksbane on Symmetra, but also Genjibane, Rip-Tirebane and all-around shutdown queen. Also there was one moment on Volskaya where I just annihilated the two enemy players who even touched our point in overtime, resulting in a win for us that I am very proud of. Mercy ... well, I R HEALBABE. And as for D.Va? For someone having just started, I don’t think I’m doing too badly. Basically I am just made of IN YOUR FACE when I do this, and don’t give a shit if I die so long as I’m giving everyone else a chance to capture the objective or move the payload. D.Va’s great fun for me, particularly when dual-tanking. Though I can solo tank it if I have to - just keep shield matrix up when someone ults and try to keep moving to be a bulwark between the bullets and my squishier comrades, then get into someone’s aggressive little face and open fiiiiiiiiire.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Positivity

And sometimes all it takes is a couple of good matches to restore your faith in humanity.

Watchpoint: Gibraltar. Attack first. Good team. Wonderful Soldier:76 main. (Pretty clearly main ‘cos he went defense on same char.) He thanked me when I healed him, thanked me when I damage boosted him, thanked me when I rezzed him, and responded to my getting stuck in a Junkrat trap by dropping his healing field on the area in which I was standing. I have a feeling the one upvote I got that round came from our Soldier:76.

(They also thanked me for warning them about the sneaky-ass Reaper who’d teleported up to the upper spawn door. He got his face handed to him.)

Defense next. Oh maaaaaan that was a good hold. They got the payload as far as the first checkpoint but didn’t move a micrometer after that. Possibly because my web of sadness had them pretty much boned in terms of approaches and their tank wasn’t clearing it out. Then again, he was having a little bit of a hard time getting near it, partly because of some great harassment on the part of our Soldier:76 but also partly because I was constantly spamming laser globes. Oh gods he wanted my face. Eventually he realised that Reinhardt shields were doing precisely dick to protect him so he swapped to D.Va. I had a tendency to laser-globe the mech to death and then attach myself to her spine via laser.

Still tanksbane.

Honestly, people protected me. In just that one set of matches, fine, but there are people out there who appreciate what I do! Not that the support of friends doesn’t mean anything, but sometimes you just need to know that the entire player base beyond one’s friends isn’t made up of self-absorbed tit-nibblers. See, all it takes is just a tiny bit of support for your support. Protect me, support me, do what you can to keep me alive and I will move MOUNTAINS for you.

But seriously, if you ever encounter a player named Illicitsleet? Say hi and be nice. They are awesome.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Being Tanksbane

A match on Route 66 as Symmetra yesterday:

Tank Player selects Reinhardt.

I proceed to nuke his ass. At least twice.

Tank Player swaps to Winston.

I proceed to nuke his ass. Twice.

Tank Player swaps to D.Va.

I proceed to nuke her ass. Just the once that time.

Tank Player swaps to Roadhog.

Laser Globe to the face.

Tank Player leaves the game entirely.

I should feel worse about that because I cost the enemy team some momentum but if your response to being outplayed is to leave the game entirely instead of trying some tactic other than “faceroll”, then you deserve what you get.

I feel bad for the enemy team, though, because they did lose momentum on that one. Most. Impressive. Hold. EVER.

[thessalian]

Thess vs PotG Again

*plays as Symmetra*

*laser-globes a moving Genji in the face*

*nine player kill streak*

*sneaks in at the last second and close-range lasers a Reinhardt to clear the payload to get the Overtime clock speeding up to secure us the win*

*watches Play of the Game*

*Play of the Game consists of ‘Genji Pressed Q’*

*sigh*