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#TAM I CANNOT WITH YOU YOU LIL-
doppel-doodles · 7 months
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"COME ON, QUAN-QUAN! LETS GET MORE PLUSHIES!!"
"Uh- We already get like 10? :'D"
Did an art study of LMK, so of course I had to draw this- Quanshui got to take care of Klara (she couldn't take care of both because kids intimidate this woman-), and Yue took care of Katie (but he couldn't take care of both as well because- I mean- come on-)
Why didn't they take them to Zhao? Shui thought it would be funny- chaotic little menace-
Anyways pray for Yue because if he doesn't find Katie in 9.32 seconds Shui will be ready to unleash all he wrath upon this sucker-
Excuse me real quick I gotta-
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AHHHHHH LOOK AT MY BABY SHE US SO ADORABLE!!!
Also jokes on Quan one Klara equals AT LEAST three kids worth of energy and effort to keep up with let alone alive so HAH-
Definitely convinced her to get 10 more plushies, a giant one bigger than her whole body plus a bag of candy for being so well behaved :D legends say Quans wallet has still not recovered from this incident...
Katie probably isn't even gone she is probably just walking behind him and staying out of his eyesight to mess with him hehehehe
And if she is she probably found Macaque by now so she'll be fiiiine-
But Yue sure won't be RIP.
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sadboytristan · 2 months
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I kept rewriting an internal dialogue for felix (from a Hero's cuties fic I've been working.) In attempt to shorten it cause its way too long. Like hilariously long, especially with the context.
I'll attempt to keep that short. (It infact was not short)
uh, so they do the hanky panky, a lil rough (consent, o'course) and at some point, Tam shoves felix (a couch. Well, a chair) and he's like "Oh my land!"
Then chuckles nervously, he realises "Well gosh, im a nervous nellie!" Cause he landed on the couch, and not,, the floor??
The internal dialogue is him, jokingly scolding himself. "Tammy wouldnt do that!" And Its a full paragraph, because I cannot think of way to make it shorter.
So I'm a tad frustrated, since this was the 5th rewrite and I wrote it.. in the most, aggressive southern twang. I completely LOST IT while reading it over because I read it in his voice and OH MY GOD
this is original and yeah its in character but ridiculously too long:
'Gosh, I sure am a nervous nellie! Tammy wouldn't... sure, against a wall while kissin' me, but I- we both enjoy that! But the ground, without somethin' soft t'land on? Well, thats a load of hoo-wee! Plain ol' silly, me thinkin-'
"A load of hoo-wee" just slightly southern, not aggressive though. Yall get it though, it's absolutely too long (I do little commentaries on my writing, and I called this a damn soliloquy. Reading THAT after a day or two, had me I was wheezing. I forgot and holy shit, the image in my head was SO FUNNY)
The 5th damn rewrite:
'Jiminey jaminey, I'm as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof! Tammy, sure as sugar, enjoys smoochin' me 'gainst a wall! But I tell ya, we both get a kick outta that! But fallin' on the hard ground, without nothin' cushy t'land on? That's just plumb ridiculous, if you ask me! Why, she'd never-'
The southern twang is just, way too much.
At first, I thought "man, that's- there is no damn way" until I messaged my ex who I'm friends with, is southern, and his response was
"Well, color me impressed! Ya remembered all that? Boy, I sure taught ya well!"
Before he adds, and this is word for word
"And gosh! That gal really getta kick outta that? lil' shovin' 'Gainst a wall, 'fore plantin' one on 'im? Shoot, they both fancy it, I reckon!"
A lil neckin'
I cant believe, it has been HOURS. He said I got "the southern stamp of approval" and tbh, I'm honoured
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elysicndrcvm · 4 years
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━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )
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     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 
so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.
he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 
he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 
he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 
his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 
obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 
showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 
very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 
awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 
his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 
studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 
despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 
real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 
has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 
he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 
does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 
cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 
bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 
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glass-crayon · 4 years
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Finally, a sequel: Me, an Orthodox Jew with 12+ years of Day School Education and a healthy sense of humor, explains the Haggadah
Kadesh: depending on whether it’s the first night or the second night, you’re either super hyped or thinking “Please god let this one not last till 1 am”. You drink your first cup of wine (or grape juice if you’re a lil wimp- actually who am I to talk I get drunk on Bartenurah) and get a healthy level of tipsy. 
Urchatz: The first sign that tonight is not, indeed, like all other nights. You feel like a king/queen when you get your mom to wash your hands for you, because yasss, peasants. Clean my hands. I should not have to pick up this shmucky cup by myself, that is below me.
Karpas: Now, at this time of night I am, let me tell you, STARVING. I think this step was invented sorely to torment us, because I can survive without eating anything for hours with no problem, but as soon as you open those floodgates by letting in a tiny piece of slightly salty potato, lemme tell you, it is torture. But it is a mitzvah I guess so whatever. ooh also the background behind this one is fun- why do we do it? So the children will ask! What a Jewish answer. I love it.
Maggid: This step’s length solely depends on whether you live alone and can speed read Hebrew on your own, or you live in a house with lots of children who all a) have a dvar torah on every phrase and b) need to be constantly entertained. If you’re lucky like me, you get both!!! This step features-
extremely loud, hyper children who suddenly get stage fright and hold up the seder for 10 minutes while you try to coerce them into mumbling the mah nishtana
One of my favorite passages, about Rabbi Eliezer ben azaryah from the talmud who woke up one morning to find out that BAM he looked like a 70 year old man (with beard to match!) because he was extremely well educated. There is something utterly hilarous about a Rabbi going ful Fred and George in the goblet of fire with no warning whatsoever.
The whole sons thing, which is where I personally think JK Rowling got the Harry Potter houses. Don’t believe me? Watch: 
Chacham: Ravenclaw
Rasha: Slytherin
Tam: Has to be Gryffindor. Theyre so goddarn stupid
SheEino Yodea Lishol: Hufflepuff- i have an immense hatred for Hufflepuff so here it is. You’re all babies who don’t even merit to understand why you went out of Egypt. bam roasted.
Vayehi SheAmda: I cannot get through this without invariably thinking of that one Mark Twain passage. GO JEWS!!
Then, we enter a section of maggid I like to call: We just said this passuk but now let’s be rashi and go into detail on every word. Need I say more?
Now, let’s talk about how funny the concept of spilling out a little bit of wine is for every plague. First of all, where the heck does it come from. Why? It makes no sense. Who looked around the table and thought the way to pay tribute to the miraculous plagues was to dip your grimy finger that’s been flipping through pages of a 20 year old hagaddah and drop it onto a plate? I just wanna talk.
And what about that whole section afterwards that’s basically just RABBI SHOWDOWN. Oh you think you know how many plagues there were? did you count the ones at the sea? What about accounting for the finger instead of the hand? Idiots.
K now onto Dayenu. This whole thing is also ridiculous because some of the stanzas don’t even make sense. It would have been enough to leave you by the sea but not split it? Um no then you would be attacked by the Egyptians. And splitting it but not leading you through it on dry land? helloooooo this is ancient times in the desert. They don’t know how to swim. Extra props to Nachshon now that I’m thinking about it because as far as he knew, he just drowned himself.
andddd finally maggid concludes with the second cup! Just so you can get a lil bit full before giving yourself major matzah constipation.
Rachtzah: Normal hand washing with a bracha but with that nice princely element of not having to pick up the cup yourself again.
Motzi/Matzah: Time to take that empty stomach and stuff it with burnt, crumbly and messy cardboard! This one sucks because it’s like, oh, only an egg’s worth? No problem! (This step is exacerbated by the fact that you gotta stuff it in your mouth in 2 minutes like it’s the end of the world- that’s why super religious guys full on chipmunk their pieces.) AND THEN YOU FIND OUT THAT’S IN WEIGHT AND YOU HAVE TO EAT A FULL SHEET OF PAPERS WORTH. and all of the sudden it’s a freaking olympics race to consume that against the ticking clocks.
Maror: Oh, you’re full? Too bad! Have some bitter lettuce (or, if you have a truly psycho family, horseradish. I pray for yall). You don’t even taste the charoses. It’s disgraceful
Korech: What’s that? You really can’t eat anymore? Time for the worst sandwich you’ll have all year! Consisting of this is definitely not bread and more bitter lettuce! (Seriously tho, this would have slapped in the times of the temple when there was lamb in the middle.)
The backstory behind this step is also hilarious. Everyone agreed you had to eat Pesach, matzah, and maror seperate except for renowned sage hillel, who thought you had to eat it in a sandwich. He was clearly wrong, but everyone just went “whatever, we’ll do both I guess, for your honor”. Freaking awesome- just imagine being so famous that people do stuff even though youre wrong.
Shulchan Orech: THE MEAL AT LONG LAST.
Tzafun: Oh now you really can’t take another bite? Have another half-sheet of papers worth of matzah that youve gotta compete against the clock for again. But no! Not so fast! First you have to find it. :) We love the rabbis! This step is another excuse for spoiled children who are somehow still awake at 12 am to demand presents.
Barech: Ya bentch. Not much to it. 
BUT, at the end you do the absolutely wonderful paragraph of shfoch chamatcha with your third cup of wine. What is that, you ask? Well, it translates to an extremely hostile call to god to annihilate the other nations, which you have to say with your front door open. Now, my family takes this a step further, because we’re psychopaths. We full out yell it on our porch for all of our non Jewish neighbors to hear, and be undoubtedly terrified. This year cuz of quarantine absolutely nobody was outside, so when my brother yelled it, you could hear it echoing from hundreds of feet away across the street. It was SPLENDID and we fully thought wed be arrested.
Third cup- all alcohol is disgusting and I hate life.
Hallel: Pretty standard, until you get up to what is usually the last bracha and find out nope they put in an extra 600 word paragraph as a treat! Did I mention I love the rabbis? What sadistic monsters thought this up?
And don’t forget the fourth cup so you can become sufficiently tired of grape juice that’s been sitting out for 4 hours!
Nirtzah: I can see the finish line. Now, my family has more fun traditions including saying the first long stanza (may it be “It came to pass at midnight” or “this is the feast of passover”) in spooky voices to spice stuff up because we all TIRED. 
Then, we enter a stage called I speed read everything for my family until we get up to who knows one, another favorite pesach tradition. Here, you have to say your stanza in one breath. It’s always good, especially when my brother gets 13 2 nights in a row and we all get to watch him insist he can get it for 5 minutes straight of failed takes. 
How bizzare is chad gadya also? We decide to end the seder with a horrific parable of everyone dying except for god who reigns supreme? Who made that one up?
And thus concludes the seder, where youre dead tired before you remember that you still have to clean up the table and surrounding areas, which by now are coated in a thiccccc layer of matzah crumbs because that stuff is THE DEVIL.
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aadhiskanmani · 5 years
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I am back with Part 2 as promised earlier also because it was bugging me that i have left it incomplete the other day. The formatting is going to remain exactly the same way.. am just saving myself some extra text clutter , time and  typing/copy paste this time round LOL. 
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS COMPLETELY MY OPINION ABOUT THE FOLLOWING FEATURES.  I feel the need to say this again because last time too i got a message but x,y,z film has x,y,z issues . I've said it before and i will say it again  It is all a mixed Bag, Mixed Genres, Mixed reasons to suggest them right from the quality to acting to cinematography to story to critical acclaim to some just for PURE ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES.  I makes these lists because I feel these features deserve love and appreciation and because some made me feel Proud and some just for pure entertainment factor . Sidenote.. all titles are actual links where you can watch the features with subs and most of these are On prime video or netflix as well
K.G.F: Chapter 1 |Kannada| *Yash | alt Link  A young man's promise to his dying mother leads him on a dangerous quest for power and wealth.  If I may say so this One pretty much did the same thing in terms of opening doors to kannada film industry like Baahubali did to tollywood. This one  followed the formula and dubbed it in multiple languages and gave it a wide release worldwide which raised eyeballs and got me curious too esp caz this one has a similar plot with the rise of a hero and the hunger for power just set in a completely different world and era. Now the Strength here is the screenplay  and the non-linear pattern which keeps you engaged, with the growth of Rocky being shown steadily. The film is set between 1951 to 2018 and maintains a sense of curiosity as each character is unveiled. Yash is Phenomenal in it as rocky. I said it back then when i watched it and i will say it again He exuded the same kind of charisma say like a 70′s 80′s hero e.g Mr Bachchan from his blockbuster hits where he Played similar roles or salman khan in his typical masala characters basically Larger than life even if he has this arc of being a nobody to Rocky Bhai to Rocky the messiah. One word of Caution... This one gets a lil confusing in Kannada  and with subs as there are too many characters and each one has his/her own agenda. i was confused at many parts but then i watched the hindi dubbed version and it made a world of difference. this one is fairly well dubbed too just like baahubali and what i mean is the voices didn’t sound robotic. Also i personally felt they went a little too far with the dukhi  junta in prison in 2nd half and the violence as in it got very tedious but thank God that got over soon with the rise of this hero but it is worth watching and rest of it is really good, esp the last 15 mins WOWWWWW I cannot wait for part 2. Also my only sandalwood entry.
p.s all dubbed versions are available on prime including Hindi but i have linked the kannada originals  
Fidaa | tel |*Varun Tej, Sai Pallavi  (on Prime as well) Two young people embark on a winding and rocky path to love after meeting at a wedding. First of all supercute romantic, comedy/ family drama but what is refreshing about it is that it is Mainly from the Heroine’s POV and we have a VERY STRONG heroine who has her opinions, her say ,her own thought process and who is just so real. On the surface it looks like just another tollywood rom com but it’s Not. the music is really Good too and Sai Pallavi is A bundle of joy as Bhanu who calls the shots  mostly here. Needless to say it is one of my Feel good films when  i want to see something that makes me smile and gives me that comfort vibe i  go to this one mostly.
Tumbbad|hin|*soham shah . A man and his son encounter a legendary demon while searching for hidden treasure in 19th-century India. 
This one will come as a surprise to many as it is a hindi title but This one a rare gem that is Underrated af and i haven’t seen a finer hindi film in the last year because of how rich it’s content is and how thought provoking it is. The makers have invested years in getting to final result and it shows. this one gave me goosebumps, sacred me, left me mesmerized and make me go WHAT too. This is also on this list because you may not have heard about it at all just like myself who had no idea and jumped into it out of supreme boredom and was left in complete awwwwww and then did my reading and research. This one is a well thought out psychological horror film with strong visuals and metaphors and makes you question as it plays with your mind. Tumbbad is a perfect example of a film that creates a surreal illusion.
Imaikkaa Nodigal| Tam| Nayanthara,Atharvaa, Anurag kashyap: alt link  A suave CBI officer (Nayanthara), is in search of a serial killer who kidnaps and kills the children of important people. The killer, however, is targeting his nemesis next. a revenge thriller with a strong Plot unpredictable and amazing twists.Each character has an important role and Nayan As a Bad ass cop who freaking sets the bar too high for female officers in desi films. THis one is one of the finest Thrillers in recent years which actually gives you thrills and Shocks and most of them one can’t guess. Let me be honest i gave upon this seeing anurag kasyap as the antagonist as i was unable to bear rudra and just his Ottness on top of that atharvaa’s lovestory as the parallel track mad me go ehhh as i initially clicked on it for nayan and there was so little of her in the beginning but then i gave it another try and couldn’t stop & was WOWEDDD by the Film and Nayan as anjali and yeah she is the MAIN CHARACTER so we get a lot of her later. She is at her FINEST as anjali. this is the film one wants to watch to get a high of sorts. WATCH IT FOR NAYAAAN FOR A STRONG FEMALE ACTOR/CHARACTER Taking the center stage and BEING FANTASTIC. This one is so just so entertaining in so many ways and the film one can watch on any given day despite knowing the plot twist. Beware Nayan and Vijay’s little arc is heartbreaking and i cried a lot tooooooooo... i was shattered at that part..... it is so hauntingly shot too. TW: Graphic violence  In that scene 
Mahanati|Tel|* Dulquer Salmaan, keerthy suresh, samantha, vijay D |alt link  Biopic based on  The life story of South Indian actress Savitri, who took the film industry by storm in the late '50s and '60s Mahanati is a film about the rise of the first female south Indian superstar – Savitri. Her story one of the most heart wrenching romantic tragedies of our times.This film tells a story of the Mahanati; her life, her journey to fame, and the dramatic downfall. Keerthy Suresh, elegantly brought Savitri to life, and Gemini Ganesan, played by Dulquer Salman, makes this film a true pleasure to watch. I had no idea who Savitri was i went into it because DQ and Again was BLOWN AWAY by How well made this film is and how it is made with so much sensitivity and rawness. it keeps the real journey part intact as in doesn’t sugarcoats or overly glamorizes things to show Savitri as some mahaan hasti. They make this film the Grand celebration of her life with all her struggles and tragedies  and makes you connect with her in a very real  manner and All this Makes this film so much more than a film. this one becomes that Larger than life Grand,SHE IS A HERO More because she truly is rather than OH because she had this sob story IYKWIM  like hindi Biopics do. They have made savitri Grand By her resilience by her courage by her will power and invested in the character and plot rather than all taam jhaam. This one is By far the best Biopic i’ve seen from desi industries and Not One and i mean it NOT one Hindi biopic even comes close to this one in terms of presentation. Keerthy suresh is a joy to watch as savitri. i am not gonna lie i broke down at few points and that is because of her acting and laughed too i connected so strongly to an actress’s story (who i had no idea about as in savitri i had 0 knowledge about savitri or in general about south industries retro eras ) only because of keerthy’s presentation.Also dulquer is a Joy as gemini ganeshan. he really slipped into it with ease and lived upto the part. they have achieved finesse in  showcasing a life story and recreating old songs from black & white era. If nothing else on this list watch this and imaikaa nodigal and you won’t regret it 
Rangasthalam |tel| *Ramcharan, Samantha :  Chitti Babu, a hearing impaired boat skipper, becomes caught in the middle of a political feud in the village of Rangasthalam. Watch this one for Ram charan’s performance  He is a delight to watch as chitti babua and this easily is his Best WORK till date this character have so much to play with and He ACES IT . The strong and intriguing story line is also a Plus . The film is not just set in the 80s; it also picks a story template from that era and narrates the tale in a refreshingly raw manner but the characters are so well fleshed out they don’t look caricatures by any means. the songs are grand and super fun to watch too. 
Maari 2 |tam|* dhanush, sai pallavi :  Maari, a gangster with a heart of gold, tangles with a new nemesis who is determined to bring about his downfall. First things first this one is mileas ahead of the previous version in everything. A much stronger film in every way. Otherwise it is a pure masala entertainer with all the masala elements and  dhanush and sai make a BOMB pair and their lil story is ahh sooo full of feelz. 
Sudani from Nigeria |Mal|* soubin shahir:  When a soccer club manager brings one of his injured foreign players home to recuperate, they form an unlikely bond despite their cultural differences.. A refreshing sports drama that touches your heart. explores the cultural differences so beautifully. the characters stay with you much longer after the film is over. The film effortlessly explores iissues in the neighborhood and much bigger political issues too. overall SImply an underrated film and one should watch it for it’s warmth and sincerity.
Koode|Mal|*prithviraj,nazriya nazim, paravthy  A family tragedy causes a young man to reflect on his childhood and reassess his future.Anjali Menon and that brilliant cast should eb your reason to watch. i don’t think i need to say another word to convince you but still anyway. it takes you on and emotional roller coaster ride. it is a flawless film with an extraordinary cast. also Naz is as charming as ever in her comeback film. there are very few films who actually jump into exploring the bond between a brother and sister and this one aces it with reflecting upon various issues and things they had to go throughasa family  as well as their individual struggles. AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING. Also Paro and prithvi yeah. .. simply OUTSTANDING film
Varathan |mal|* fahadh faasil,Aishwariya lekshmi:  After losing his job, Abin and his wife, Priya, move from Dubai to Priya's family estate in Kerala, but peace eludes the couple. It takes it’s time in the first half but in second it comes all guns blazing and turns into a worth watching survival thriller. it does makes one uneasy at times with the contsant stalker guys lurking around but it is all worth the wait at the end. trust me..
Chekka Chivantha Vaanam |tam| *vijay sethupathi,arinswami,jyothika,simbu;  An attempt is made on the life of a reigning don, and it sets in motion a succession battle between his three sons. In other words Godfather with Mani ratnam  twists A delicious film to devour it si an out and out maniratnam film with massy fan moments and smart filmmaking techniques. watch it for performances esp. i wish jyo had more to do but she is good at what she does in her supporting role. . this one is a true blue  multi starrer ,family drama.
Merku Thodarchi Malai |tam| Antony, Gayatri Krishnan, Abu Valayamkulam :  it  revolves around the life and times of a group of people living along the foothills of the Western Ghats. basically we travel along with Rangu ( teh pratagonist) who is a daily wage worker and his struggles in bringing that load upto the city  and his one dream to own a piece of land someday. this oen is almost like a documentary. this makes you thank and count your blessings. feel every bit of pain and effort and struggle that these daily wage workers have to go through in their daily lives. i broke down at so many points and i just wanted to do something to help makes lives a bit easier. IDK it hit me so hard at places and made me thankful for all the things i have. 
Mayanaadhi |Mal|*tovino thomas,aishwariya lekshmi : A mule driver in a gang and an aspiring actress try to navigate their way through an unexpected romance. Mayaanadhi is a beautiful tale of love. The emotions it conveys needs to be experienced and the movie gives us a taste of life. Aashiq Abu really knocked it out of the park once again with this one. this one. It is a simple enough tale with a plot that is real to life and familiar.It is perhaps the most Soulful Romantic film i’ve seen in last year or so. 
Takeoff|Mal|*parvathy,fahadh :  A young Muslim woman (Parvathy) struggles to find love and happiness in midst of the ongoing civil war in Iraq. It  an ode to the Indian spirit. This is a riveting survival saga, made by a team gifted with acute political and social awareness. It is, in one word, stunning. Paro Simply have slayed. A bit like airlift as in the basic setting and premise is similar but poles apart. it is one hell of a film( in a good way) PARO,PARO,PARO. this is all i have to say to explain the brilliance of it. 
and with that this comes to an end.. again please feel free to share your thoughts and opinions with me i would love to see you guys actually taking the use of this list and sharing your thoughts. Bye and Have a Wonderful Summer binge watching these hehe. i hope you love them as much as i do. looking forward to your thoughts 
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kitesupportgroup · 5 years
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Be More Chill OBCR 💛💊
So the bmc obcr has been out for a bit now, (and I love it so very much) so I decided to write down all of my favourite things it- if not for other bmc fans but for myself. Enjoy reading through everything I love!!!
****This is not finished, but I ran over the character limit so I’ll be constantly updating this on reblogs! Look out for the most recent ones!!!****
(Btw It’s not all new additions to the album but just everything)
Jeremy’s Theme:
I mean. I love the be more chill band so much.
With the universal Be More Chill sound?
How could I not love this!!!!
And the amazing theremin?
(That’s what that instrument is called)
(I looked up ‘electric stick instrument’ to figure out what it was)
It’s just terrific
100000000/10
More Than Survive:
Will Roland’s voice (and Will Roland in general)
How unenthusiastic ‘good morning, time to start the day’ is
The addition of the parts part between Jeremy and mr. heere on the recording
‘Dude!’ (Weight the options)
‘Oh god!’
Will Roland’s voice (and Will Roland in general)
When the whole cast comes in on the third ‘c-c-c-come on!’
The new hallway lines (I’ve literally never noticed him before)
The dramatic music when Rich writes on Jeremy’s backpack
‘Oh! It’s a sign up for the after school play!’ *pause* ‘It’s a sign up sheet for getting called gay’
‘End scene’
‘Christiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine’ (new harmonies+notes ahhhhh!!!!!!)
‘No need to wallow, no’
Will Roland’s voice (and Will Roland in general)
MICHAEL!!!!
Just George Salazar
Just Michael Mell
‘You look like ass, what’s wrong?’
‘My mothers would be thrilled!’
‘That’s... good?’
[I was gonna say] ‘Getting atoned in my basement’
THE CHRISTINE HARMONIES YALL HAVE MY HEART
The band is so incredible I can’t
The ooooooooooooooo harmonies when Jeremy is signing up for the play
‘Gayyyyyy!’
‘I like gay people’
THE WHOLE LEAD UP TO MORE THAN SURVIVE ITS SO SOFT AND GENUINE WILL YOU WONDERFUL HUMAN
‘Whyyyy’
‘And teach me how to thrive’
THE INSTRUMENTS COMING IN AT THAT PART THEN THE NANANANANA’S
I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SO MUCH THIS PART GIVES ME CHILLS
Will’s bits AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
‘SUR VIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIII-IIIIIIIIII VEEE!’
‘GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GOOOOO GO!’
I Love Play Rehearsal
Stephanie Hsu. Just. She’s a queen. No- a goddess
The way she says ‘because it is fun.’
And the pause between ‘because it is fun’ and ‘...I love play rehearsal’
‘not depressed as in like’ bit
MAD GIGANTIC FEELINGS
‘I also have a touch of ADD
where was I?
Oh, right!’
‘The way it works out in the Pla-aa-y’
‘Centre of attention’
‘That was, really one of my best roles’ THAT VOICE💛
‘Do you find that? *pause that Jeremy clearly cant respond in time* Cause I totally find that!’
‘Why-y-y-y-y’
‘I *punch* LOVE *punch* PLAY REHEARSAL!’
‘Hives’
‘Why’m’
‘There’s also a part of me that wants to do this *adorable weird noises* yasss’
‘So I did it *giggles*’
‘My brain is like bzzz, my heart is like wow’
‘And it’s starrrrrting,
starrrrrting
it’s starrrrrrting,
sooooooooooooooon’
More Than Survive (Reprise)
I’m sorry. A NEW SONG?!
I LOVE IT AND THE TONE AND TUNE AND BAND AND WILL
the fact that ‘at least I didn’t have a breakdown, and have to go to the nurse’ suggest that this has happened to Jeremy before I NEED TO PROTECT HIM
Just the whole set up- it’s what touching my hand aimed to do but shorter and wonderful
The Squip Song:
I realise I’ve added this to everything but Gerard Canonico and his voice I love him
The start instrumental
The way he sings ‘girlfriend’ (idk why i just love)
‘Gross’
‘Futile quest’
‘I would trip!’
‘Then then, Then then, Then then, Then then, Then then, Then then, I got a SQUIP!’
‘You got quick?!!’ Jeremy is so excited aw
‘Not quick. SQUIP’
That entire conversation
Just the entire: It's from Japan
It's a gray, oblong pill
Quantum nano-technology CPU
The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood until
It implants in your brain and it tells you what to do’ part
And of course ‘so... it’s like drugs?’
*deep breath*
‘IT’S FROM JAPAAAAAAAAAAN!’
The techno ness on Rich’s voice
The band
THE HARMONIES
‘Almost hopeless’
‘Yeah, your whole life will flip’
‘Squi-I-I-p’
ALL OF THE SQUIIIIIP BITS WOAH rich GO OFF
Two-Player Game:
Can I just say- one of the cutest songs ever
The part where the intro is all slow after Jeremy and Michael are yelling so excitedly I laugh at it every time
The whole intro sequence basically
The band is amazing
Will and George’s voice’s sound so good together 💛
Michael YOU ARE SO DAMN CUTE
‘pac-man tattoo!’
‘Guys like us!’
‘Listen, bro’
Zombie! Watch out! Ah! Aoh! Awww’
Will’s voice ahhhhHH
‘Dude, I know, I get it!’
‘But we’re not in college’
‘All the same’
‘Ahh! Ohh... ZOMBIE! BLOOD! CLAWS! Pause’
YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE NY FAVOURITE PERSON IS SO CUTE
‘I’m your favworite pwerson’
JEREMY’S CUTE LIL ‘yes! *giggle*’
‘Conquer it!’
‘Two... PLAYER GAME!!!’
THE BAND IS SO AMAZING
‘Two player gammmmmme!’
THE LAST FEW HARMONIES I LOVE
The Squip Enters:
Woah it’s so short but I have so much to say
STARTING OFF BY JUST SAYING HOW GREAT THE BAND AND SOUND DESIGN FOR THIS IS I MEAN WOW
Jason Tam’s Squip voice 💛
‘What the hell?!’
Will’s screaming and yelling and noises I love
Christine is so concerned!!!!!!!
‘Mild?!?!’
Jake. That’s all. 💛
‘Oh- wait. I’m fine. I jus-‘
‘Discomfort level may increase’ *yelling intensifies*
‘Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processer. Your SQUIP.’
Jeremy is so awestruck and cute
‘You look like Keanu Reeves!’
‘But I can see you may prefer to take instructions from Batman, Beyoncé, a sexy anime cat girl with a tail’ ‘KEANU’S FINE’
‘Can everyone see you?’ ‘I exist only in your mind. All they see is you having an animated conversation with yourself- so don’t do that.’
‘Like in X-Men?’ ‘I can see this is going to be difficult’ OH BURN OH DAMN I LOVE IT WOAHH (really tho this makes me laugh so much every time)
‘You want to be more chill?’
‘Oh, you mean cool!’
‘I do not’
Be More Chill, Pt. 1:
Okay but the Squip enters moves so smoothly into be more chill pt.1 woah
NEW INTRODUCTION ITS AMAZING
The ‘c-c-c-Come on’
THE ENTIRE KEY THAT THE BEW INTRO IS IN THO
THE WAY JASON SINGS ‘outdated’ assffhfkglsherb
‘I’ve arrived now, this is not a drill’
‘Be. More. Chill’
‘wow’ (Jeremy you’re so cute)
‘Oh but I am a masturbator’ ‘we’ll fix that’
‘I thought I was more of a... geek?’
‘Wha- stammer? N- I I I. I don’t stamme-‘
‘Non existent’
‘Buh’ ‘Uh-’ ‘Buh?’ ‘Uh!-‘ ‘No.’ ‘UH!’ ‘Stop.’ ‘DOGH!’
‘Everything about you is so terrible’ ‘Terrible?’ ‘Teribble’ ‘oh’
Jeremy sounds so dejected and sad on that ‘oh’ I need to protect him
‘....makes me wanna die’ *hyperventilating*
‘So DONT freak out’
‘It says Eminem’
‘If you’re so astute, what’d’ya need me for?’
‘I envision a future in which you wear a Eminem shirt and things turn out well’ *foreshadowing*
When the whole cast starts singing ‘everything about you sucks’ you can hear individual voices in it and at one point I swear you can hear George doing some weird voice and I love it
‘Now you try picking a shirt’ ‘That’s a girls shirt’
‘Jerry?’
‘Jerry-me’ or ‘Jerry-my’ (I always think of Jeremy being shocked about Chloe talking to him so he’s just like ‘Jerry? Me!’
‘Oh- Hi, Brooke’
‘You look sexy.’ ‘I cant say that to a hot girl- AOWWW’
‘LOOKING-PRETTY-SEXY-BROOKAHH’
‘No! Yess (????!)’
The entire round part I LOVE IT
‘Just like this HAHA’ SO ADORABLE
‘So who was this mystery girl?’
‘Oh you’ve probably never heard of (SQUIP HELP ME OUT HERE)’
‘Madeline’
‘What.’
‘She’s Fre-e-e-e-e-ench!’
‘She is not French! She just pretends to be for attention’ *radiating disdain*
Brooke is SO CUTE
‘Yeah- I mean- (????!!!!!)’
‘Because she was cheating on me-E-eeee-E-eeee-Eeeeeeh’ (YES I LOVE)
‘Hey. Hamlet. Be. More. Chill’
Leading into do you wanna ride!!!!
Do You Wanna Ride?
Okay but Lauren Marcus is literally amazing
And Brooke is amazing
The way the Squip and Jeremy day ‘Yes!’ At the sane time
‘Mich-ael’
Brooke is trying so hard to be seductive and it’s so damn cute
‘Do you wanna get inside my mothers car?’
‘Ah, hah’
‘We gotta stop for frozen yogurt first!’
When the incredible Katlyn Carson comes in GO CHLOE
Harmonies 💛💛
The band 💛💛
And, of course:
‘PII-IIINNNIN-IN-IN-IN-INK berrrrryyyyy
*giggles* ‘Au revoir’
SHE’S BEING FRENCH TO IMPRESS JEREMY
SHE’S SO CUTE
Be More Chill, Pt. 2
‘Repeat after me’
‘Everything about me is just... terrible’
‘Good.’
THE SQUIP IS SO MANIPULATIVE
‘Everything about you makes me wanna die’
‘Everything about me makes me... wanna die?’
‘Now you’ve got it.’
THE WAY THE BAND COMES IN
‘ABout you’
THE CAST
JASON TAM
‘Cool’ ‘Cool!’ ‘And powerful’ ‘wow!’ ‘And popular’ ‘*giggles* ‘incredible’ ‘woah!’
The accordion thing in the aforementioned section? Amazing
‘You wi-i-i-i-i-i-ill’
‘Be More Chilll! *giggles*’ JEREMY YOU ARE SUCH A PRECIOUS BEAN
*squip, probably face-palming* ‘be more chill’
THE CAST
Sync Up
*ahem* SCREAMING
THIS NEW SONG
IS AMAZING
I
LITERALLY
CANNOT
I have so much to say
Let’s go
First of all, the original more than survive reprise starts us off. I love it
‘C-c-c-Cmon, c-c-c-cmon go g-AHHH!’
‘I’m inside your brain’
I can’t write all of the lyrics as highlights but just know that all of the lyrics are highlights
‘Let’s sync up!’
‘Those facts are not mutually exclusive’
I LOVE HOW THIS SONG SHOWS EVERYONES FLAWS AND FEARS
‘I’m shook, I’m blah, I’m just-’ ‘there-there’ ‘Brooke!’ ‘I’m sorry’ ‘it’s not fair’ ‘Yeah?’ ‘I know’ ‘oh we so sync up’
That entire bit I just
‘But as soon as she shares it, they ignore her’ ‘that’s sad. What should I do?’ *pause* ‘you should ignore her*
‘Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-A’
‘The only controller you need is your mind!’
‘Looks like Jeremy’s killin’’
The electronic ‘lets sync up’ bits
THE BAND IS SO AMAZING THE ELECTRONIC COMPONENTS AND THE EVERYTHING
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cheerstocrazy · 7 years
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Wahh
I’ve been feeling so sad lately bc I’m about to start my period, and last week I was nostalgic as hell for past memories. I’ve only been listening to Don’t Take the Money (unplugged version), Good Guy, and 89 (Bon Iver). It sucks to feel this way. Anyway, I think last week’s nostalgia was triggered by watching The Beauty Inside with Mary and Matthew. The date was just so sweet and intimate, and ugh I just wanted something like that in real life. So I thought back to my date right before I left to NYC, and how nice it was to be with someone so down-to-earth and upfront about his intentions. Someone who understood what I was going through and could recite my feelings back to me. I felt so seen (in the best way). I can’t believe he told me, “Why’d you agree to meet me before leaving? You’re at your most vulnerable right now? So anything is fair game, right?” I was still trying to process all my emotions that week so for him to realize I was at my most vulnerable made me feel transparent and like someone actually understood my current emotions. I was so taken aback that he was able to read me. Now that I’m home and don’t have much going on -- I think back to that night. It was a perfect date/night/finale before leaving. He was just such a good guy, I wish we could’ve stayed friends afterward, but I don’t blame him for not maintaining contact. I mean no one can really put their life on hold and wait for something that’s not even a guarantee. I just felt like the rest of the world ceased to exist that night and time stopped momentarily just for us. We didn’t skip a beat and he was just so curious and he spoke 3 languages (!!!!!!!) and was legitimately woke (!!!!) I remember us sitting at the taco place all by ourselves in the corner with our kind of strange seating arrangement. Eating messily and just chatting about random things like 2 people who had known each other a while. I think me leaving made us more uninhibited and allowed for us to really enjoy the 1 night we had. I wish it didn’t have to end, I really enjoyed how kind he was and sociable. Just an all around really great human. Any girl would be lucky to have him as a friend, let alone a boyfriend. I’m sure all his invitations and effusiveness were said out of hopefulness that this would continue when I got back. I wish what he said was true. He was so well-spoken and deliberate, which I really appreciate in a human, and it’s so rare to find that in a 20 something year old - especially a software engineer!! Ugh, I’m going to cry. Anyway, that was one of my favorite nights of this year, I’ll never forget it. It was the best date I’ve ever been on, and it came at a very strange time in my life. After the Snap guy and the Dr., I just realized that good guys who understand and vibe with me will be incredibly hard to come by.  My favorite moments of 2017: 1. Date with the Israeli guy before leaving to NY 2. (Best/Worst) Nice at Hair in the Dog where I threw up my intestines - the entire day. From eating Japanese food, walking through Brooklyn, finding that wicked cool bar with awesome views. Eating that bomb burger at the South American inspired place with arepas. Waiting in the Sbux to kill time and for a respite. Walking around Brooklyn lost trying to find a club. Going back to the weird bar in LES and being pestered by the Asians. Getting free drinks, ducking to escape them. Eventually running in the rain to Hair of the Dog. Stumbling upon Andrew (hot guy) who just took us into the group and bought us drinks. Dancing with Orr’s friend then him, the hand job (lol). Being piss drunk, then not knowing what happened the rest of the night.  3. Salt Flat weekend with the Brazilians. Will be one of my favorite weekends of life. They were the sweetest and funniest guys ever, I cannot believe I found them. I remember seeing them at the bus station in Potosi and thinking omg, one of them is kinna fat and if he lost some weight, he’d be skinnier. I saw they were eating hot dogs and a bag of chips. Just laughed to realize they were my roommates.  4. The jam sessions and dinner in Cusco.  5. Coachella weekend: Bon Iver, Justice, Porteon, Jai Wolf. Having Julian take care of my the entire set and just swaying with me and keeping me afloat. That was absolute euphoria and a nightmare for me.  *Bon Iver ft Francis - Friends (MY FAVORITE CONCERT MOMENT EVER!) 6. The bar by PP’s apt with the fucking disgusting couple making out for 3 hours. Camaraderie is everyone in the bar clapping, snapchatting, heckling that couple.  7. San Pedro de Atacama - absolutely everything in that desert took my breath away 8. FWB Dr. those 2 weeks were pretty fun to have someone on speed dial to hang out with 9. The marathon 15 hour workday with Kathy and Daniel when we were delirious and literally just putting binders together for 5 hours.  10. Going out with the Chileans to Ex-Fabrica, the taking photos snafu lmao 11. Hanging out with Tiare on my last night in Chile. That was so fun to get day drunk and just eat and walk around.  12. WATCHING THE KILLERS FROM THE ROOFTOP IN AUSTIN!!!!! ZOMG WTF!!! 13. Gorillaz set!!! at ACL 14. I think I ran a 7+ miler this year.... 15. The Huaraz hike, sinking into the mud, standing around each night to joke around with people.  16. The entire day at Machu Picchu which WAS TOTALLY SURREAL AND MEETING THAT GROUP OF PERUVIANS!! AND THE SHORT LIL MAN WHO LOVED ME.  17. Barranco!!!! I love that neighborhood so much!!  18. Going off-roading in Sedona with the random Canadian couple we met.  19. My cute as hell South African roommate!! Eek I loved him so much 20. Hiking Montana de Siete Colores 21. Staying with the cutest Peruvian family in Ica. MY HEART, I LOVED THEM. 
Best songs of the year: 1. Francis and the Lights - May I Have This Dance?  2. Rhys - Swallow Your Pride 3. Frank Ocean - Good Guy/White Ferrari 4. Bleachers - Don’t Take the Money 5. Banks - Crowded Places  6. Mura Masa - What’s It Gonna B? 7. Haim - You Never Knew 8. Lorde - Supercut/The Louvre 9. Odesza - Corners of the Earth 10. Jai Wolf - Starlight 11. Kehlani - Do U Dirty Saddest Moments of the Year: 1. August 2nd - getting the call from Eastridge to notify me that I’d been let go 2. March - Seeing Sal, getting anxious that entire weekend, having no appetite, just the lack of control I had over my body. Dealing with his texting. Getting my car towed. 3. My mother not talking to me for 8 months. That took a toll 4. Dealing with insurance for months on end to resolve nothing.  5. In Banos, Ecuador to have my parents sabotage me for the first time and tell me to come home. 6. Cusco, when my mother wouldn’t take a photo of my vaccinations to which I sobbed on the floor. 7. The endless professional shitting -- all the you’re going to get hired/promoted blah blah. Nope 8. June 13th - when Bryan told me he was leaving the company. My heart sunk.  Honorable Mentions:  1. Colombian straggler 2. Date with the tall ass weirdo who made me not date for 6 months afterwards lol 3. HEAVING AND PUFFING AND DYING AT LAGUNA 69 OMG KILL ME  This was such a hard year for me mentally, physically, emotionally. I’m looking back and even though I did have lots of good moments (due to my South America trip), it was mostly a year that tested me. I just felt like I got walked all over and was taken advantage of. I felt so small most of the year at work and like my value wasn’t realized. It was a lot of feeling hopeful only to get crushed immediately, which I guess is what life is. It was so taxing for me to be at work and just not progress professionally and getting lead on. I didn’t deserve that at all. My best couple of months came from me being laid off, so I guess there’s that silver lining? Boys wise, this year didnt’ work out too well, lots of ghosts coming back into my life and another unsuccessful year of dating. My mother and I didn’t speak to each other for most of the year, which was ridiculous. There was a really big life event this year, and I definitely needed her to be there for me, and she wasn’t. That’s a year we’ll never get back, and I can’t really talk about it without crying. She’s talking to me again, but you don’t get to shut me out of your life for 8 months with no valid reason to talk to me again like nothing happened. This isn’t how it works. I don’t think our relationship will be able to come back after that, especially post election. It was just a really hard time for me, and it would’ve been nice to have a maternal figure for venting. I guess that’s when your friends come in. I remember being in the jacuzzi talking to Tam, and she told me about what my mom said and how she felt while I was away and like her heart sunk. And I was like what about me??? I don’t even know why she’s upset. I just teared up, I couldn’t take it anymore. Especially after my trip, and coming back to reality. I just wanted to disappear for most of this year because I felt so insiginificant, and that’s why I ran off to South America. I wanted anonymity but under my call, not someone else making me feel invisible. All I wanted this year was to be seen and heard, and that rarely happened. This was such a hard year for me, I still can’t get over how difficult it’s been. At least I sleep a lot not and am not stressed out. I need to move.  2018 goal: MOVE OUT OF CALIFORNIA!!! 
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