#T'lussek's thoughts

[theweepingvulcan91]

Mind Meld

Genre: angsty fluff

Warning: Minor mentions of self harm

Word count: 3485

Pairing:Leonard McCoy X T’lussek

Summary: T'lussek decides that a mind meld with Leonard will help him find himself after removing Spock's katra from him

Mother? Have you seen Leaonard?”

T’lussek walks into the kitchen to see her mother sitting at the dining table. She had been looking for him all day with no avail.  It had been three days since they had removed Spock’s katra from Leonard. She hadn’t seen him since the ritual and had become concerned that something was wrong.

“Last I saw him dear was in the gardens this morning. I’m not sure if he’s still there or not.”

Amanda said as she took a sip from her cup of tea. She could sense the worry in her daughter and wasn’t sure how to help. Right now, she was reminiscent of her father in her calm worry, and she hated not being able to help.

“Thank you, Mother. I will go out and see if he’s there.”

T’lussek’s tone slightly rushed as she made her way outside towards the gardens. She had wanted nothing more than to help. Seeing the others leave him alone and keep their focus on Spock bothered her. He needed just as much help if not more than Spock. Walking towards the gardens made her smile faintly. When she was younger the gardens were her safe space. Her mother had created the perfect environment for such beautiful fauna. No one had thought she would be able to keep it up, but almost out of spite she made the most beautiful garden on the planet. Objectively she knew that wasn’t true, but this garden always held a special spot in her heart.  

“This is one of the perfect places to meditate.”

T’lussek said as she walked up behind a seated Leaonard. Resting her hand on his shoulder she looked out into the vastness of her family estate. She had come to enjoy the beauty of the land below her in the last few years and was happy she could share it even briefly.  

Leonard shook his head as he felt his love behind him. His mind had been scattered as he had tried to piece together what was his again. It had felt like a piece of him had been torn out with the ritual. Grabbing her hand, he led her towards the front of his seated position. Maybe with her help he could find peace of mind.

“Blue is quite flattering on you Len.”

T’lussek said as she knelt in front of him. Resting her hands on his lap she smiled gently, teasing the fabric of his blue robes. She never thought she’d see him in Vulcan robes. Though it was out of necessity she was proud to see him in such garments.  

“You like it? Your mother helped pick it out.”

Leonard said with a faint chuckle. Looking into his lover’s eyes brought a brief moment of peace. The racing thoughts paused as he could feel her love through their connection.

“I do. I think we should get some for you to wear on shore leave.”

T’lussek said with a soft chuckle. She tried so hard to flood their mental link with a warm loving feeling. She could only imagine what having someone being taken from you would feel like.  She only knew what it was like to have someone added to her body. T’rhea. She thought of her experience of joining with T’rhea. It wouldn’t quite be the same as having Spock removed, but the idea of having to find yourself after joining would be similar.

“I…I have an idea to help with the loss of self Len.”

T’lussek said softly as she looked into her lover’s eyes. She had no idea how he would respond to diving into her mind, but she had to try.

Leonard looked down at T’lussek as if to ask what she had in mind. Now that she was present, he could feel her attempts to help. Their bond was white noise as he was left alone with his thoughts. Seeing her knelt in front of him he was flooded with her love and concern.

“I was thinking…that we have experienced the opposite with mind melds. You have had a katra removed from you and I had one added. I think maybe seeing me find a new self with my ancestor might be able to help with you finding yourself now that Spock is gone.”

Leonard looked at T’lussek confused. Why would she so nonchalantly suggest that? Especially after what had just occurred to him. Was there something he didn’t know about Vulcans?

“It... It is normal for Vulcans to meld with their partner. And in doing so I may be able to help show you how to gain experience from your ritual with my brother.”

T’lussek’s voice was shaky as she spoke. She had always had apprehension in melding with Leonard. Melding had been the most intimate thing she had been taught. If she melded with him, he would be exposed to all of her; even the hidden.

“You would be sharing everything with me, wouldn’t you?”

Leonard asked with a concerned tone. He could feel her apprehensiveness in her tone. Was this what she honestly wanted to do?

“You would get to see most of the important moments in my life. I can’t pick what you see. It would all be in our meld…”  

“So how are we gonna separate things once we begin the meld?”

Leonard interjected.

“We wouldn’t need to. I can create a barrier of sorts that will only allow my memories to be experienced. And since you have no psychic abilities, there is little risk of your memories breaking through the barrier.”

A soft sigh left T’lussek’s lips.

Again, a sigh.

She had done quite a bit of that in her lifetime.

Taking a deep breath, she takes a hold of his calloused hands. These hands that had saved many of their crew were now going to try and save her. Blue…it was a calming color as she looked into his eyes, placing his fingers against her psy-points. A weak smile streaked across her face as she reached her fingers against his psy-points. Chanting in her native tongue induced their minds into a trance as they sat.

“Her name is T’lussek. She shall be named so after one of the first female High healers.”

Sarek’s demanding voice pierced through the calm scape of T’lussek’s mind. Standing with his daughter in his arms he glared. This will be the beginning of the problems. T’lussek’s voice said as she walked beside her father.

“That is one of the first memories I can recall. My mother’s beaming smile. My father’s coldness. I will spend all my life deciphering that cold gaze of his.” T’lussek couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pain. This was a journey of pure vulnerability. These were her raw emotional responses to these parts of her life. As it stood there would be no way for her to control what Leonard would see. He would get it all.

“Terran! Your father is a disgrace to Vulcan!”

A young T’lussek was on the ground crying as Spock had begun to beat up the teasing boys around them. She couldn’t believe that her brother would risk getting in trouble for her. They had been very close from the beginning… As her mind swirled, a new scene coalesced around them.

“I think it best if she would be raised on earth. She is distracting her brother from his disciplines.”

Amanda turned to her husband with a shocked expression.  

“Sarek! She is your daughter! How could you wish to send her away like that?”

“You Terran’s have sent your children away for schooling for many centuries. It would be only proper for her to be in a place where her humanity can be…nurtured.”

“He really said that?”

Leonard knew that things with Sarek were difficult. He had heard both Spock and T’lussek speak of the duality of his nature with them. This, to simply send one’s daughter off world for the betterment of their sibling... That was quite a… human response.  

T’lussek felt a wave of remembered frustration fill her consciousness. What this eight-year-old was feeling now was something she would struggle with her entire life.

“You’d just send me away because of Spock? Not even for my own benefit… but because I’m affecting your perfect Vulcan son?!?”

“T’lussek…dear you weren’t…”

“If you are not going to follow the traditions of the people of this planet then yes. I think that it best for you to go to Earth where your emotions can be taken care of. You remaining here will only prevent your brother from…”

The sight of the child storming off and Amanda following her faded away. T’lussek’s eyes watered at the sight of that. I had that discussion with them at eight. They waited for my birthday the following month then sent me to my grandmother on Earth. Melancholy filled the mindscape as they continued through the path of her memories.

“T’lussek please don’t…”

The annoyed tone of Grandmother Grayson filled the small kitchen. The memories now were of her time on Earth. This current meal was one that stirred conflict inside of her as they sat at the table. T’lussek had just been sent home from school for violence on campus grounds and was now reaping the consequences.

“Do what? Express any sort of humanity? I can’t do Vulcan things…and apparently, I am a failure at being human too…”

“It doesn’t matter what you do, you are being emotional and destructive. You’ll bring shame to this family if you keep following this destructive path.”

Grandmother rose from the table and began to leave.

“You need to pick…are you human? Or are you one of them? You can’t hide behind this much longer.”

Swirling away from the angry old family member the memories shifted to her academy dorm.

T’lussek was on the floor of her room at Starfleet Academy. Her hands were covered in her heated green blood as a file lay on her lap. Her mind in an emotional frenzy as she tried to take away the parts of herself others seemed to have hated.

“Did you try to file your ears off!?”

Leonard all but gasped as he knelt beside the memory. She nodded down at the distressed doctor with tears streaking down her face. Her fingers reached up and felt the scar tissue that ran down her left ear.

“Lu!”

T’lussek had been stopped by her Orion roommate Vazih before she could begin to attempt the other ear. Weeks…it had taken her two weeks to be cleared by the med bay to go back to classes, not that she had let any of her classes slip. Between finishing her work and regular visits to a counselor she had finally graduated. With another swirl she was now standing before her father. It was the day of her graduation from Starfleet Academy.

This was the moment I had been given my first assignment. Through all the self-harm and nonsense that had happened I had done enough work to graduate. But I couldn’t have a moment. Of course, HE wanted something.  With a swirl of reds and tans they both were now in front of T’lussek and Sarek.

“T’lussek…”

“Now you want me…Now that I finally have a leg to stand on in the world…No letters…no attempts at contact whatsoever…but now… NOW you have need for me when it’s convenient.”

“You know as well as I do T’lussek you are from the house of Surak, and it is your duty now as a young woman to come and take up your role as a healer. To do otherwise would be squandering a great gift.”

“What makes you think that you can come here and demand this of me? Or that I would even take up a mantle of a Vulcan culture that hasn’t been mine since I was eight?” She took a deep breath. The house of Surak was filled with a deep hypocrisy, and she knew all too well that wasn’t going to change. The anger…the hurt…the sadness…it was all swirling in her mind as she pulled these memories for Leonard to see.

“This mantle is yours whether you embrace it or not…”

“How are you going to keep your house of Surak pure? Was I raised with the traditional disciplines?” She said coldly glaring at her father; she wished she could scream it at him. Without the traditional disciplines how could she be expected to heal anyone…especially those with mental problems? Only the most skilled healers even dared to attempt any healing of the mind.

“I have spoken to the elders. We have found an ancient ritual that would bind you to the soul of one of our ancestors. This in theory, would serve to give you proper access to the control of your emotions.”

Ancient texts. The words of those before the reformation of Surak. Most Vulcans didn’t give any merit to those ancient stories, especially from that time.  But Sarek had wanted a healer in his house so badly, he’d scoured all the resources he had to find a way to get one.

“What does that entail for me?”

“Once the ritual is complete, you should be able to learn the skills of the healers at an accelerated rate.”

Closing her eyes T’lussek tried to feel T’rhea. A wave of warmth encompassed them both. T’rhea was a healer from four generations prior. When she merged with me, I was told there was moments of intense pain. In our mind she took that pain away from me. That is why there are no real memories of our mergence here.

A tall slender Vulcan appeared from behind T’lussek. Resting her hand on her descendant T’rhea looked at Leonard and nodded her head. Now you can tell who inspires the more Vulcan moments of my life. T’lussek said with a smile as she reached up and squeezed her ancestor’s hand. This woman had helped to calm the consuming emotions. They had spent many hours teaching each other the different parts of their own mental and spiritual journeys.

“It is an honor to meet you T’rhea.”

“The honor is all mine. It is nice to finally meet the human she is so fond of. .”

T’lussek turned at the sudden sound of a voice familiar to both of them.

“Ambassador Sarek and his wife are my parents…”

T’lussek stood in silence for a few moments. Her patience had run out as she coughed to get her brother’s attention. She was not going to be forgotten, even if she was the black sheep.

“And this is my sister T’lussek.”

T’lussek’s mind fluttered as she was taken back to the memories of their first meeting. The Babel conference was the first time that she had worked with her father in a more official capacity. It was the first time that she had seen her brother since he took his position on the Enterprise. And the first time she had met Leonard.

“Nice to meet you, Doctor McCoy. It is nice to finally meet one of the men that gives my brother so much trouble.”

That comment right there was when I knew that I could very much enjoy your company.

Leonard walked behind himself and looked at T’lussek. He remembered getting her to chuckle a few times that evening. Her emotional flexibility was refreshing, especially having had just spent all that time with the other, much stuffier delegates.

T’lussek chuckled as she saw Leonard joke about I-Chaya.

I wished to retire, and you swept me off my feet with Jim’s help. Showed me to my room while telling me how different I was from my brother.

Leonard smiled as he watched himself offer his arm to T’lussek.

Jim really did set that in motion, didn’t he? Remind me to thank him when we go back to our separate bodies.

A wave of sadness washed over the mindscape as they ended their journey to her quarters.

This is where I called your brother a green blooded hobgoblin isn’t it?

Leonard looked as he could see the tension in T’lussek build. He truly didn’t mean anything by that comment. Yet he learned quickly that his words held more value to her.

“You realize that green blood also runs through my veins? Would you judge me as harshly as you do Spock?”

If it wasn’t for the Babel conference and T’rhea’s ability to step in… I had finally begun to feel like a Vulcan... You had no idea what that name had done to me…how could you? It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I didn’t wish to believe someone who had treated me so kindly could be so cruel.

Leonard understood with a clarity he hadn’t had before the meld. Now her reactions made sense. She had struggled with her identity and hearing such things about her brother felt cruel to them both. Her emotions had seeped out when her identity was involved. Without saying anything Leonard wrapped T’lussek into a tight embrace.

I am sorry for the cruelty of my words T’lussek. That was not my intention ever to be so…

T’lussek squeezed tightly against Leonard. After a few moments of embrace the mindscape began to swirl; concentration had been lost as they returned to their reality. After a few moments of settling, he cupped T’lussek’s cheek with his hand.

“Thank you for this T’lussek. I really think that’ll help me find myself again.”

Running his finger across her cheek he stood in silence. He could still feel her…feel that moment of emotion. Once he felt himself calm and become himself again, he pulled her into a tight embrace.

Ahem!

The silence was broken by a cough at the entrance to the gardens. Pulling apart they turned to see both Spock and Kirk standing there.

“Sorry to ruin the moment lover boy,”

Jim said as his pushed his way a bit forward towards Leonard.

“You are quite good at that Jim.”

T’lussek said before brushing her hand against her lovers. He had been the best emotional block this universe had ever seen. That is what happens when you are as close as those three are. She thought as she shook her head. Looking at her stoic brother she wondered if he had remembered memories, he had shared with her. She chuckled as she walked past Jim and stood in front of her brother.

“If I remember correctly, I also helped create some moments with you.”

Jim nudged against her shoulder as she walked past him. Ignoring the nudge T’lussek took a deep breath and looked up at her brother.

“Thank you, Spock, for keeping him safe.”

T’lussek had no idea how much of her brother’s memories had returned, she was just happy they would both be okay. Whether he knew it or not Spock had helped them both grow as beings with this adventure he put them all through.

“T’lussek,”

Spock said softly as if he tried to recall who she was. After a few moments of silence, he nodded his head.

“It is only logical that we had helped each other.”

Spock said with a nodded as he held up his hand to his sister.

Without saying a word T’lussek pressed her hand against his and smiled.

“I take it that it is time for you all to leave back to Starfleet?”

She asked as she saw the others behind the door.

“Yes. It is time for us to leave. Shall you be coming with us?”

Spock asked looking down at his sister.

“Not this time. I’ve got some work to do with Father,”

She said with a soft sigh.

“ I wish you’d all stay for one last meal.”

Spock looked over at Jim as if to ask. A few moments had past as Jim had thought about staying for one more day.

“I don’t see why not. It’s not like we’ve been given an actual timetable.”

Jim said with a smile as he saw the excitement in T’lussek’s eyes.

“Thank you, Jim.”

She said as she walked over and hugged him. He could see the importance of spending time with spending time with one’s family, even if they were chosen.

“Well does anyone want to go into town with me to start on dinner?”

“I will,”

Leonard said as he walked towards his love. “I will. Unless you want this to be a date adventure”

Nyota said with a soft chuckle.

“Not at all. This adventure I’ll be needed help with.”

T’lussek smiled as she saw her mother back in the kitchen. This was what she had always wanted. A home filled with people she loved and cared about. She was lucky to have been given this even after all this time.

“Okay all who wish to come it’s time to go!”

T’lussek said with a playful tone as she made her way back in the house.

[theearthlyvulcan]

How dare you lie to me...

My brother is broken...lost...out of his normally logical mind. He has had that logic stripped from him and yet you deny me access to him. I can feel his mind deteriorating and yet you continue to lie to me...Why is it that you would speak only to Michael with the truth? He is my brother too...I care about him as much as she does.

I AM HIS SISTER TOO! WHY AM I TO BE LIED TO?!?!?  

You have never once lied to any of us. Michael was right...it is easy to see a lie when one has only ever told the truth. I am...hurt...angry...sad that you would keep the one man I have the ability to help away from me. Was I not human enough? I know now that was where the jealousy of dear Michael stemmed from. She was brought in to help Spock and I was hurt. Hurt that I wasn’t enough for my brother. I shall not stand by and have you prevent me from doing the one task I have been created for...and that is helping my brother. This was unacceptable. I could’ve helped. I could have traveled through the looking glass to save our Alice...and yet you kept his need hidden from me.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? “

This family and their secrets have only hidden the Vorpal blade. You all have made your choice...and I do not fit in it. Fine. Know that Michael and Spock are my siblings and I shall do whatever I can to protect them. But I shall not take these secrets from you...

[sutorik]

@theearthlyvulcan​ | cont from [x]

T'lussek jumped slightly hearing a familiar voice. Turning her tired features towards him she let a soft smile grace her lips. She had been having nightmares about Vulcan and its destruction. She had thought since Dr.McCoy had given her some time off she’d enjoy the privacy of the far rec room.

“I would normally agree with you…except I have only had visions of Vulcan once before…and they came to fruition ”

T'lussek pulled out a chair next to her.

He took the offered seat and sat with fingers threaded loosely together, his hands resting between his knees, contemplative. The Doctor had asked Sarvek about her nightmares, asking for a Vulcan perspective. It wasn’t unheard of for some Vulcan individuals to have visions of possible futures, thought to be warnings from their ancestors. Usually they were dismissed offhand, the idea of fate and destiny deemed illogical by the School of Surak. 

❝ What did you see? ❞ He spoke softly to suit their surroundings, the rec room otherwise deserted with the exception of young couple snuggled up on one of the lounges. 

[theweepingvulcan91]

Breaking Control

I wanted to challenge myself to do 30 days of stories. Random number generator picked a character and I found some prompts online.

Prompt- Breaking Control

Character- My Oc T'lussek/Leonard McCoy

Word Count- 624

TW- Punching a table in aggression, talking to a inner spirit.

This is my first time in a long time I've written in the kelvin timeline.

Spock!”

Sarek said firmly as he watched his son choke out someone. Looking at his daughter he knew he had to stop Spock. T’lussek trembled as she looked at her father. What Kirk said was wrong…anger inducing. She couldn’t have them both have a fit of rage. Muttering a meditation she kept her eyes on her brother.

“I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command, based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log.”

Spock walked out of the bridge.

“Spock…”

T’lussek all but whispered as she slowly followed Spock. Taking a deep breath, she waited for the next lift. Stopping on the nearest floor she found the nearest room and looked the door behind her. Once seeing no one was here she took a deep breath and screamed.

You never loved her.

If Kirk could say that about Spock what did that mean for her? She may have just started to quite her emotions but there was no way they didn’t care. It isn’t that they didn’t love her…it was the fact that they couldn’t allow that to affect them. Punching down on the conference table she let all the sadness travel through her hand. Again…and again…her hand throbbed against the bent table.

“She’s gone…”

T’lussek screamed her voice squeaking at the end. Just as she had begun to dive into her home world and culture it was taken by him. Nero…that bastard had taken everything from her. Looking down at her green bruised hand she plopped down onto the floor. Crossing her legs, she began to mutter a Vulcan meditation. It was time to get back to functioning.

“Are you in here T’lussek?”

The familiar tone of Leonard McCoy filled the room as she opened her eyes.

“Computer! Unlock the door.”

With that the door swooshed open revealing the concerned doctor. Concerned deepened his features as he walked in and saw her on the floor.

"Do you think I could gain diplomatic immunity for striking the now captain?”

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say that was sarcastic.”

Leonard chuckled as he pulled up a chair next to her. Not sure what to do he sat there in silence.

“We’ve lost everything. And now Spock lost his command…what the hell was Jim thinking? Why would he goat on Spock like that…”

T’lussek’s mind began to wander. Speeding through her thoughts one after the other she let out a unhinged grunt. Wrapping her hands around her ears she tried to quiet things.

It is going to be okay kan.

T’rhea said in her mind as she tried to calm down.

“You want some help with that?”

Leonard asked as he sat down beside her on the ground.

“Oh my gosh…you’re still here.”

T’lussek gasped as she straightened herself up. She couldn’t believe she was having this issue let alone in front of someone.

“I could give you something for the anxiety. Plus, we should wrap up that hand.”

 Leonard said as he pointed to her green bruised hand. They really are green blooded. He thought as he looked down at it again.

“That…that would be nice,”

T’lussek nodded as she wiped the blood on her dress. Splatters of blood spilled out from her knuckle as she looked at the doctor.

“I think I need to get out of this funk…Spock will need me to save him from father.”

T’lussek rose to her feet. Holding out her non bloodied hand towards Leonard she smiled. She couldn’t believe that he sat down on the floor with her.

“Thank you Leonard for helping me.”

“I didn’t know I did anything.”

“Just sitting here with me helped immensely.”

T’lussek said as she helped to pull him from the ground. Once they adjusted themselves they left towards sickbay.

[theearthlyvulcan]

V’Tosh Ka’Tur

It is a word that stirs up many a conversation on planet Vulcan. It means “one without logic” though that is not entirely accurate. V’Tosh Ka’Tur are ones who don’t believe in Surak’s teachings of complete emotional suppression. They believe that to think in the vein of logic one must take into account one’s emotions. If one looks deeper into those teachings they would think it is a path that most would find unbecoming of the planet. That is if you share the mindset of most other Vulcan’s. 

Today I am here to tell you that it is not bad to express one’s self. Though it is most taboo especially since I am a decedent of Surak to speak these words. But in embracing my humanity I must be honest with myself. Unlike my brother I have never felt comfortable suppressing my heart’s song completely. I still adhere to the principles of logic though I feel that emotional suppression is not a way to reach a logical conclusion.  

I have been and always shall be different. 

Emotions...Logic...and quite a bit in between...

This is who I am as a humanoid life form. I shall wear my emotions like a badge of honor suppressing them only when I deem it necessary. This is my choice. Everyone else be damn.

[theearthlyvulcan]

It is illogical to wonder what could’ve been. What would’ve happened had  I stayed on the Enterprise with them....with my brother. It is time to accept the fact that though my humanity exists and in more extremes than others that I must assume my place in the house of Surak. It is time to shape what our kind is to become. Keeping the old traditions and creating some new. 

[theearthlyvulcan]

The Vulcan's and the Ship

T'lussek took a deep breath as she stood in her quarters. Looking at the blue dress like uniform she sighed. She was seeing the conformity and was a bit nervous. Braiding her hair she smiled seeing her family runes brushing behind her ear.

"I hope I shall do well today"

She thought as she heard a knock at the door. She was expecting Lt. Johnson for a tour of the ship.

"Come in Sara"

@musikat18 if you still wanna rp

[theearthlyvulcan]

#2

T'lussek was a rather frisky gal in her academy days. She enjoyed feeling...and what better way to feel than sex? She enjoyed it all but once. She thought she was in love and tried to share her telepathy with them...didn't work and scared the hell out of them. She hadn't done anything with anyone else after for fear of pushing them away with her intensity

[theearthlyvulcan]

One doesnt normally mention something that brings you shame" T'lussek sighed as she took a deep breath. She loved her family deeply but her father and brother didn't always take so kindly to her.

"As you know i was raised on earth...I was sent to earth because my father thought that the vulcan line needed to prevail. And that i was causing my brother to stray from that path. Which is slightly humorous when you think Vulcan is a matriarchal society. Shouldn't have shunned me. "

A soft scoff released from her lips. If he knew anything about Spock's life he knew their father was a man who could hold a grudge.

"Anyway...that is neither hear nor there. Fact of the matter is I share Spock's genetics and it is no surprise you didn't know about me. Males in my family dont share information unless is is logical to do so."

@theearthlyvulcan

“But Spock’s never–” 

Kirk trailed off, in a struggle to find the words. 

“– you know, I’d, well I’d assumed that if Spock had any siblings, he’d have mentioned it by now.” 

[theweepingvulcan91]

Title: Dancing in the Memories of a Child of Two Worlds Rating: Mild self harm (striking one’s self) Pairing: Leonard McCoy/ T’lussek Word Count: 1854 Warnings: Minor Self Harm. Lots of mind freaks.  

“Leonard…”

T’lussek bolted from her bed in sickbay. What she had no idea was that she had been in that bed for three days. The Enterprise was sent to Andoria Prime where they were meant to deal with rouge Aenar. They were said to have been wiped out and yet the Andorians had been having issues with beings of great telepathic strength. These beings had been known to manipulate the minds of those weak enough. Hoping to utilize her telepathic and ambassadorial abilities Jim insisted that she go with them on the planet. It should've been a simple conversation on the icy planet that was until she was kidnapped. Somehow she was able to make it back to the captain before passing out. Groaning in pain her body was sore as if she had just been in a fight. From head to toe she felt as if she beaten. What she didn't realize was the fact that this Aenar inside of her was doing everything in its power to take control of her mind.

“T’lussek…doesn’t move. You’re still hooked up to the machines.”

Leonard helped her to sit up. He had been monitoring her for the three days she had been under. Watching her closely he needed to make sure that she was going to win this fight. The mechanism she was hooked too monitored all of her brainwaves passive and active. Through her conversations in her unconscious state he had gathered that one of the Aenar had taken control of her mind trying to take over her body. It needed a host with telepathic abilities in order to repopulate its race. He was obsessed with making sure that T'lussek was the one that won the battle.

“What….what happened?”

T’lussek jumped as she saw the flash of a sinister pale blue face. It hooked it slender fingers around her throat trying to snuff her life out. Letting out a piercing scream she grasped at her throat. Physically fighting off something that wasn't seen to anything but her the machines that were hooked to her head began to buzz as her brain activity was going off the charts. She began to shake as she felt Leonard take hold of her hands. He pulled her hands down to her lap as he tried to send a calming thought their bond.

“Focus on my voice. I’m right here T’lussek. I haven’t left you in the three days you've been unconscious. You’re safe T'lussek. You’re still fighting the Aenar out of your mind. I need you to squeeze my hands dear. We need to give you something to focus on.”

Leonard's voice was slow and calm as he began to stroke the back of her hands with his thumbs. A wave of a chill consumed her body as he touched her as it always did when she was uneasy.

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Three

Four

T'lussek took deep breaths with each passing count. For once she needed to find focus again. Though she may have been human there were times of great unrest for her mind that resulted in her need logic. After a few moments of deep breathing she opened her eyes and looked at Leonard. Those were eyes that cared for me not only as a patient but as a love. She thought to herself as she could feel his worry wash over her as she continued to take deep breaths. She hadn’t felt panic like this in some time.

“You’re awake…”

If T'lussek didn’t know better there was a hint of worry in her brother’s voice. Then again her brain felt like a scrambled egg. Seeing him past Leonard she smiled weakly. There was something to be said about the worry of her brother. Not only was there Spock but also Jim standing in the front of Sickbay.

“Yeah…guess I was strong enough…for now…”

T’lussek forced a chuckle. She knew Spock didn’t approve of her dark humor like this. And seeing the worry in Jim’s eyes didn’t help. She hated the fact that she knew Jim. Knew that even though she was okay and fighting through this he was thinking it was it was his fault she was in this condition. Flashes of his worried face as he called for the transporter room filled her mind. Closing her eyes she shook her head trying to push away the thoughts.

“I would like to try something with your permission T’lussek.”

Spock said closing the gap between them. Reaching out T’lussek brushed her hand against her brother’s wrist. It was nice to hear a voice that was real. No matter what she was grateful for the close bond she shared with her brother. Though they may have been raised in opposite ways their closeness was something that transcended all.

“Thank Surak you do. How on earth are you going to get this blue bastard out of my head?”

A burst chuckle escaped her lips. This was how she could always tell that she had been around Leonard too long. She always picked up his phrases when she spent too much time with him. Never using such words she knew it had to be him floating around in her mind. That was happening a lot. Moments of randomness appearing in her head with each passing minute. Some the past…some the present…and some not even hers. It was all she could do not to scream in the swirling void of memories.

“There is a ritual…”

“But is it the same as a Katra transfer?”

“It is not the same daughter.”

T’lussek turned to see the familiar face of her father. He was the last person she was expecting to see. Did he know about their trip to Andoria Prime? She thought to herself as she looked around to see if anyone else was around. It seems like everyone is going down to this party. She let out a soft giggle.

“Then how on earth shall you…”

“T’lussek!”

Amanda Grayson’s voice filled the air as she pushed her way past her husband and the other men to her daughter’s bedside. Letting out a sigh of relief she was glad...no ecstatic to see her mother. Flashes of her reading Alice in Wonderland was the thing that kept her focused. Amanda always held a strong focus in her activities whatever they were.

“Why is the raven…like a writing desk?”

T’lussek reached up and brushed her mother’s cheek with her fingers. Her sunken cheeks pulled back into a smile as she tried to calm down her mother. There was something to be said about the worry in her mother's voice. Having not heard much of it as a child it was wonderful to hear it now.

“I’m fine Mother. I just have an extra piece to my puzzle.”

As T’lussek giggled she could feel the glare of her family and friends around her. She knew that they didn’t like her making such jokes especially at her own expense. It was something she had learned to do very early on as to make sure people were comfortable with her.

“It was her simple attempt at humor my wife; an illogical coping mechanism.”

“You’re the one being illogical Father. Coming here and not speaking about a solution to this problem”

She normally loved seeing the compassion that her parents had provided one another, but now was different. Now she was sitting here waiting for him to fix her brain. She had hopped the slight annoyance in her tone was not that noticeable.

“T’lussek! There is no need for this. They are only making light of your dark humor.”

The stern tone of Leonard McCoy filled her ears. Looking to her lover’s eyes she was shocked at his response. A bit of shame filled her mind. She knew that there was no reason for her to have snapped at her father. She smiled seeing Leonard raise his standard two fingers at her.

Thank Surak he remembered the Ozh’esta.

Normally they were not so reserved with their affections. That was the greatest part about being half human; she could kiss her love amongst other things whenever she wanted to. Now was different. Now she stood in front of not only her brother but her father as well. Normally she enjoyed messing with Spock but she would not disrespect her father any more than she already had.

“It is essentially a meld technique in which your brother, Dr. McCoy, and I will enter your mind and dissolve the link between you and the foreign entity.”

“How can Leonard participate Father? He is not a telepath.”

T’lussek asked with a sharp tone. Not that rituals couldn’t be held using non telepaths, but it seemed quite odd to her. Normally her father even now was the first to keep things amongst the family private.

“No he is not, but he does have a bond with you T’lussek. And that bond you share will help us separate you from that entity.”

Sarek’s tone his regular coolness as he walked closer to his daughter. Looking into his eyes she couldn’t help but let a soft smile grace her features. She knew that her father cared. It was just different to see such emotions in his features. Her eyes winded as she saw Christine looking at her in the corner. She couldn’t believe that everyone was here. Both chosen and biological family was here trying to find a way to help.

“I am here to help get the boys into trance.”

Amanda said softly as she reached up and cupped her daughter’s cheek. Having learned all of the skills needed to head the house of Surak Amanda was more than capable to do these rituals. T’lussek used Amanda as a focal point in her own logic. If her mother could function in the Vulcan hierarchy then so could she.

“Is it necessary? They are after all some of the greatest telepaths on Vulcan…”

Though T’lussek didn’t know a lot about the rituals of her home world it seemed odd that they would need help inducing a trance. Maybe it is because of Leonard? She thought to herself as she looked at the people in the room. Seeing all of the worried faces began to shift into the whitish blue of the Aenar T’lussek began to panic. Her breath ragged as she pulled her hands away from her mother and began smacking the sides of her head.

“GET IT OUT!!”

T’lussek screamed as she continued to hit her head. Leonard looked at Christine as she bolted to gather a hypo for the doctor. Feeling all of the hands of Spock and Jim trying to hold her she tried her best to fight back. What they didn’t know was that she wasn’t seeing her family; she was seeing the Aenar reaching for her. Christine handed Leonard the hypo and he quickly injected T’lussek with a tranquilizer.

“Don’t let them get me…”

T’lussek said trying to fight off the last bit of fear before hitting the biobed hard. Spock looked to his father with a deep worry in his gaze.

“We need to get her planet side now!”

[theearthlyvulcan]

Some of the elders still may have some prejudices, but it isn't the case for anything."

T'lussek said taking a deep breath. It had been a interesting relationship humans and vulcans. Some still held the thoughts of superior minds but the xenophobia was far less wors.

"Sometimes it's just picked up from the old ways

A Fascinating Run In

theweepingvulcan91‌:

cheryl1967‌:

“I would love that!”  Cheryl bounced excitedly in her chair, also forgetting that people were all around them.  “Although….I don’t know, my father always told me that Vulcans hated humans.  It’s why he never went to Vulcan.” 

That xenophobia does still exist but it is far calmer than it used to be. We actually have been treating spots as historical tourist locations for years now

“Like what?” she asked, her interest clearly piqued now.  “I knew that Dad’s aversion to Vulcan was coming from someplace xenophobic, but I don’t know where he picked that up from.  Who knows why ‘speciesism’ happens?”  @theearthlyvulcan​ @theweepingvulcan91​

[theearthlyvulcan]

A soft smile played across T'lussek's features. She was surprised he would warrant a response for her. She didn't mean to make him upset with her comments. Though it was not her intent to illicit a response it was nice to see one. Feeling the heat of his hand she made her way out of the turbo lift.

"I grieve with thee. It is not easy to learn of someone's lack of interest no matter what the circumstances."

It was much more difficult for a Male to lose their mates then it was for the females. There was only an emotional element for the females and T'lussek felt as it it sometimes was easier to stifle those then the physical.

"Amanda Grayson is an amazing woman. She has thought me many a things through my life. She would be smiling to know that I was spending time with other vulcans. Though she would be shocked at my social rudeness. "

A soft smile danced across her features as they began their journey together.

@theearthlyvulcan

“That is good to hear. Ever since my meld I have had less issues with my father and brother. Though I must admit I am still…how you would say…upset that my father sent me away for being too human.”

T'lussek couldn’t understand why it was so easy to talk to this man. He wasn’t like others she had encountered.

“Downside to wanting one of your children to be pure Vulcan…you need to get rid of all distractions.”

Hearing his question her stomach wretched. It is only logical to answer his question. She thought taking a deep breath. She hoped he hadn’t noticed the light line blush that had streaked across her features.

“Yes. Though in my case I would be normally spending it with my mother. As a unbonded female and as a healer it is my job to keep my mind functioning for those who would need it. My mother having learned from T'Pol herself the healings of Shikar it is only logical I strengthen that bond with her…”

❝ They sent you away?! ❞ The anger slipped out unintended, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try to calm down. Many Vulcans would have been repulsed by the outburst, but something told him that T’lussek was not like her kin. Still, to meet a Vulcan so open with their emotions was not common, and he hoped he hadn’t caused offence. ❝ I would never do such a thing to my children, regardless of their heritage. ❞ His tone was resolute and he bowed his head to hide the flush on his cheeks that matched her own. It was cruel and perhaps even illogical to send a child away from their family. How could her parents blame her for her human heritage when it was their decision to have children?

The turbolift doors swept open with a chime, and he hovered his hand close to her waist without touching in a gesture for T’lussek to lead the way while he considered her words. It was highly impolite to discuss or even allude to Pon Farr, so he spoke delicately, all the while wondering why she was not bonded. Was it by her own choice, or her father’s?

❝ Recently, my betrothed declared kal-if-fee. I won, but I– did not want an unwilling bride. This is my first Kal Rekk without her. ❞ He swallowed heavily before continuing. ❝ While I am very grateful for your company, I am sorry you can’t be with your mother this year. It… She must mean a lot to you. ❞ 

[theearthlyvulcan]

That is good to hear. Ever since my meld I have had less issues with my father and brother. Though I must admit I am still...how you would say...upset that my father sent me away for being too human. "

T'lussek couldn't understand why it was so easy to talk to this man. He wasn't like others she had encountered.

"Downside to wanting one of your children to be pure Vulcan...you need to get rid of all distractions "

Hearing his question her stomach wretched. It is only logical to answer his question. She thought taking a deep breath. She hoped he hadn't noticed the light line blush that had streaked across her features.

"Yes. Though in my case I would be normally spending it with my mother. As a unbonded female and as a healer it is my job to keep my mind functioning for those who would need it. My mother having learned from T'Pol herself the healings of Shikar it is only logical I strengthen that bond with her..."

@theearthlyvulcan​

“It is an honour Sarvek.”

T'lussek said bowing her head. She was grateful for the man’s patience. Most Vulcan’s would already made a jab about her ramblings.

“I am the… black sheep of the house of Sarek. I tend to not get brought up in conversation.”

T'lussek being raised on earth was always hidden. Any possible chance to avoid the topic of her from the males in the family the better.

They would always ignore what made them uncomfortable.

She thought as she walked with him In the corridor. A soft chuckle escaped her lips at his comment.

“The greatest part of the high holidays are the fact that the focus more on the mind and less on the body. So this is just as important of a mental pilgrimage as it is a physical one.”

She said as they got into the turbo lift.

❝ It is a shame to hear that. I’m quite familiar with the sting of becoming an object of scorn in the eyes of the people you love; my parents did not initially approve of my decision to leave our city, but I’m thankful to have since earned their support. ❞ In his still limited experience with other members of his species, Sarvek had quickly noted that they were quite quick to judge and their approval, once lost, was hard to regain. Judging from her demeanour, Sarvek had little doubt that the source of this disapproval was connected to the ease with which she conversed or the human expressions she used in speech. (There were, of course, no sheep on Vulcan). Perhaps they had expected her to be like Spock, his humanity almost imperceptible without closer inspection. 

❝ A wise sentiment. ❞ Sarvek looked away, hesitant, eyes focusing on the controls on the turbolift wall. ❝ — It is tradition in Tikopah to spend Kal Rekk with your bondmate in order to strengthen the bond between you. Is it the same on the rest of Vulcan? ❞

[theearthlyvulcan]

It is a honor Savrek"

T'lussek said bowing her head. She was grateful for the man's patience. Most Vulcan's would already made a jab about her ramblings.

"I am the...black sheep of the house of Sarek. I tend to not get brought up in conversation."

T'lussek being raised on earth was always hidden. Any possible chance to avoid the topic of her from the males in the family the better.

They would always ignore what made them uncomfortable.

She thought as she walked with him In the corridor. A soft chuckle escaped her lips at his comment.

"The greatest part of the high holidays are the fact that the focus more on the mind and less on the body. So this is just as important of a mental pilgrimage as it is a physical one"

She said as they got into the turbo lift.

@theearthlyvulcan

Kal Rekk

It was a time of pilgrimage and logical contemplation. It wasn’t something that T'lussek would’ve recognized on her own. But having stored a Katra of her ancestor she had a new found appreciation for the holiday. Hell it was the only day their minds could truly be separated in any way. Today she was allowed to be dressed in her simple Vulcan robes for the occasion. The eyes of the crew were shocked to see such trappings on the Vulcan. Being raised on Earth she didn’t share much of the ideals of traditional Vulcans. As she walked her robes, which were burnt orange, clung to her body as she was stopped.

“Most people are unaware. But alas I am here despite my brothers detest.”

T'lussek said returning the customary hand gesture. She knew that she annoyed Spock. That man had the most expressive eyes. She wasn’t quite why though. Was it the fact she wasn’t as Vulcan as he was? Was there jealousy of her ability to be more human? One may never know as communication was not her family’s strong suit.

“Are you here to make your journey for Kal Rekk? Would you mind if I joined you? It isn’t something you see often. My family doesn’t recognize most of the holidays. Spock always says “there are always more logical uses for one’s time” and the like. “

Her eyes gave the slightest hint of a smile as she stood in front of the man.

”I’m sorry. That’s rude of me. I am T'lussek daughter of Sarek. Sister to Spock “

She said with the soft bow of her head.

He lifted the cowl from his head and offered T’lussek a small smile. Somehow she seemed more human than her brother who was always the picture of Surakian composure in Sarvek’s presence. Sarvek had no inhibitions in expressing his emotions, but tended to tone them down in the company of other Vulcans. While he had no shame in his v’tosh ka’tur heritage, the subtle signs of disapproval and coldness of most of the other Vulcans he met always felt like a slap in the face.

Perhaps it was her eyes, almost as expressive as her brothers, but he did not feel the same rejection as most of their kin – though perhaps she hadn’t yet noticed the differences in his demeanour.

❝ Lieutenant Commander Sarvek. It’s a pleasure to meet you, though I am surprised that Spock hasn’t mentioned you before; we work together quite frequently. ❞  He gestured to the corridor ahead of them. ❝ – And I am. I may not follow Surak’s tenets of logic, but my people have always honoured the annual pilgrimage. It pains me to be so far from home and my family at this time of year, so I would be very grateful of your company. ❞ Savrek laughed, mirth in his eyes. ❝ Though I would not call the turbolift ride to deck 6 much of a pilgrimage. ❞