#Swerve just want his man to know he ain't alone in this

[coffeefiction]

This is one way to be greeted by the new year-

"I'm tired"

[violetfoxsketches]

🖊🖊🖊 >:3

You want 3 shorts, you will get 3 shorts >;3c General tw for blood, body horror; these are shorts about Javier's turning

🖊 Hellbent

“Would you get off my back?! I don’t wanna hear it, man!”

Javier snarled at the figure in the passenger seat of his danube blue ‘65 Impala. He’d agreed to drive Lucas home from work, not to another lecture about Riles. As they pulled to a red light, Lucas gawked as Javier propped a cigarette between his lips and flicked a lighter.

“I thought you said you quit last year.” Lucas drawled, “Where are you even gittin’ the money for those? You couldn’t even pay yer half of rent last month.” “Seriously, dude what are you, my ma?” Javier growled in response, “Wouldn't need ‘em if you’d stop stressin’ me out so much with all the lecturin’.”

“I wouldn’t have to lecture yer ass if you’d just break up with yer crazy chick.” Lucas spat in response, “You don't drag yer ass in til dawn half the time, you stopped goin' to Mass, you miss work, and now yer smokin' again? It’s like I don’t even know you anymore, man. Whatever she's doin' wit'chu you ain't right. You need to git rid of her.”

“Lucas, I’m warnin’ you…”

The car fell into silence as the light turned green. The fuck did Lucas know about Riles anyways? He’d hated her ever since he met her. Javier took a long drag and let his breath fill the car with smoke as he eyed Lucas in the passenger seat, almost daring the man to say one more thing about Riles. Lucas glared right back. Then, without warning, he snatched the cig right out of Javier’s mouth, cranked down the window and flicked it out of the car.

“What the fu—?”

“—Stop bein’ a dick and I’ll stop treatin’ you like one.” Lucas cut in.

“If anyone’s bein’ the dick, it’s you!” Javier bellowed, “What the fuck is your problem with Riles? The real one, not the bullshit you keep makin’ up about her.”

“I ain’t makin’ up shit, Javi. I went with my gut and made some calls at work. There ain’t no Riley Reid from Tampa that matches her in the books. She’s lyin’ through her teeth, and yer eatin’ it up!”

“Yeah sure. You’re stalkin’ her records, but she’s the crazy one! Do you even hear yourself, man? Maybe you're the one that's changed.” Lucas went quiet. Javier scoffed.

“She told me you were gonna try and use some bullshit story to scare me away from her.” Javier’s voice grew cold, “Can’t you just go be happy with your fiance and leave me the fuck alone already?” “...I gave her til the end of the month to git the hell outta dodge before I call the feds.” Lucas responded, tone equally as icy, “I can’t let her ruin yer life with whatever scam she’s pullin’.”

Tires screeched on pavement as Javier swerved to a stop.

“You WHAT?!” Javier practically roared, “...Nah. Get out of the fuckin’ car.”

Lucas gave Javier a hard look, but it went ignored as Javier jerked the keys out of the ignition and stepped out in a rage. He rounded the front of the Impala and yanked the passenger door open. “I said, get out of the fuckin’ car, Lucas!” Javier yelled, “Or I’ll make you get out.”

“You can’t make me do shit, Javi.”

That was it. Javier reached in, grabbed a handful of Lucas’ blazer, and tugged him right out of his seat. He didn’t care if it was Lucas, he was gonna feed the jerk his own teeth for threatening Riles. Javier drew his fist back and swung, but Lucas banked to the right and before Javier knew what happened, Javier’s back slammed against the hood of the Impala and Lucas had an iron grip on Javier’s jacket collar. Stunned by the impact, Javier flinched and closed his eyes for a punch that never came.

“Believe it or not, I’m doin' this because I care about you, pendejo.” Lucas huffed, still holding Javier in place by two fistfuls of jacket.

“...liar.” Javier managed, “You just can’t stand the idea that I’m not the sorry little queer that needs your protection anymore. God forbid I find a woman to be happy with. What; did you think I’d never get over you?”

The grip loosened. Lucas looked down at Javier as if those words had been a switchblade to the chest. Good. Javier took the chance to shove Lucas away and got back on his feet.

“Up yours, Lucas. You can fuckin’ walk home.” Javier spat as he fixed the jacket’s popped collar, “You’re not makin’ me late to my date.” Javier slammed the passenger door shut, slid into the driver’s seat, and flipped Lucas the bird before revving the engine and peeling out, leaving the other man to choke on exhaust in the rear view mirror.

🖊 Love Me Dead

Javier felt like he was on fire. His ears were ringing, the smell of something foul assaulted his nose, he could taste an entire ashtray on his dry tongue. His fingers stung as he groped blindly along… dusty concrete?

Bleary brown eyes finally cracked open to take in his surroundings. Blood. It was all over him, old, dry, flakey blood. It was the only thing on him, he soon came to realize.

Okay, focus. Try and remember what happened…

He’d been furious when he got home. Packed a backpack for everything he’d need overnight and tossed it in the trunk of his Impala before going to meet with Riles. She’d cooed and smoothed his ruffled feathers, she’d made him forget his anger, but things got fuzzy from there.

To Javier’s surprise, his sight was the only one of his senses that wasn’t overwhelming him. He was in a basement, or at least, what once was a basement. It looked like a tornado had blown through the place. What had happened down here...?

The world around him was moving too quickly. He crashed into a wooden banister, and splintered it. He went headlong into a stack of old boxes and scattered their contents. He remembered the headache that was denting some kind of pipe. Then there was the door. Clawing and clawing at impossible speed with his bare hands like a trapped animal. Desperate. Screaming. Starving.

Javier rounded what was left of the banister up to the basement door. Deep scratch marks, highlighted with more old blood. His blood, he finally realized. In his frenzy, he’d worn his fingertips down to blood and bone. What kind of drug had he been on last ni— OhhhhHolyMotherOfGod there was a hole in his chest.

“HELP!” Javier’s lungs burned as he filled them with air to scream, “¡AYÚDAME! SOMEONE; ANYONE!”

He grabbed the doorknob. He twisted and pulled and pushed and rattled but it wouldn't budge. He pounded and pounded on the wood, first with his fists, then with his shoulders. Until finally he heard the sound of footsteps.

"LET ME OUT! I NEED A DOCTOR!"

The groan of a heavy object scraping the floor. The rattle of a chain. The sliding of a deadbolt. The twist of the doorknob. He came face to face with…

“...Riles?” Javier uttered. A wash of relief crashed into him, “Riles, thank God!”

She simply stood there, amusement growing on her lips and a folded pile of clothes in her arms.

“Ohh, Pobrecito~” Riley snickered, “Still reeling from that tantrum, I see. C’mon, let’s get you all cleaned up.”

“Riles, you gotta get me to a hospital before I bleed out!” Javier urged, unsure why she was so calm. Jovial, even.

“Baby… you’re not bleeding out. You’re already dead.”

“I’m… —Riles, c’mon, that’s not funny.”

“I’m serious. You’re dead. Although damn; did you come back swinging. What a display.”

Riley chuckled darkly, gazing him up and down with pride in her smile as she handed Javier what he now realized were his duds and jacket.

“Everything is going to be okay now.” she reached up to caress the side of his face. Anxiety and panic fluttered away as Javier practically melted into her touch, “You’re free, Baby.”

Javier found himself grinning right back at her. He wasn't entirely sure why. “Free, huh? Free from what?”

“Your miserable life. Your awful friends. Your pointless studies. Sharing the same fate as your father. You’re more than all of that now. You are the night personified. Beautiful. Eternal. Vicious.”

Riley drew Javier closer with her touch and cradled him against her neck. Something inside Javier stirred. A foreign instinct, demanding to be acknowledged. Or had it always been a part of him? He kissed her, gratefully. God, she was cold as Death.

“Go on; I know you must still be hungry.” Riley whispered as her fingers slid through the hair at the back of Javier’s head.

He was still hungry, and somehow he already knew what to do. He curled back his lip and bit sharply into her neck…

🖊 Teeth

He was met with the bright amber eyes he’d fallen in love with. His senses weren’t screaming, the hole in his chest was gone, and his fingertips were whole again. Thank God it was over.

“I must’ve been on a helluva trip if you stayed with me all night. You never do that.” Javier snorts out a laugh, “I don’t even remember what I took, pero I was loco en la cabeza last night. I was convinced we were both vampires. God; I think I even tried to bite you.”

“Oh there was no try, Baby; you did.” Riley smirked, “And we are. You just might be a little hazy on the details, seeing as you went so buck wild I had to stake you for a couple weeks.”

“Seriously, stop pullin’ my leg, Riles.”

Riley tilted her head and smiled at him in a way that didn’t need words: she was patronizing him. Then she flashed her teeth and Javier’s own smile dropped. His gaze darted to a mirror on the nearby vanity and in what felt like a blur, he was already there, rattling the furniture with an unintentional collision. Reflexively, he steadied the wobbly mirror before it could topple. The sight that greeted him was paler than ever, almost no color to his lips. The dusty eyes looking back at him were sunken and dull. He looked half-dead. Behind him, Riley giggled.

“Cool the jets, Babyfangs, there’s no fire.” she purred.

“Babyfangs?” Javier wrinkled his nose at her reflection.

Instinctively, he curled a lip and sure enough, four massive fangs protruded from his gums.

“...Madre de Dios…”

“Oh Baby… God didn’t have anything to do with this.”

Reality hit Javier like a speeding car and he staggered backwards. Cold arms caught him and snaked around his middle.

“I had to do it,” Riley insisted, “He was trying to take you away from me; look at how much he upset you. You’re better off without him. Without all of them. We’ll hit the road tonight and leave this miserable place in our dust. You trust me, right?”

“Yeah…” Javier found himself saying, almost automatically. Of course he trusted her. “I just need to tell Ma or she’ll worry.”

“Oh, I already took care of that. Your funeral was last week.”

Something hitched within him. Not his breath, not his pulse —he’d already come to realize both were long absent. No, this was something deeper, in the pit of his stomach. His poor Ma.

The arms tightened around him and cold flesh pressed against his back.

“You don’t live in their world anymore, Baby. It had to be done. They can’t come looking for you.”

“...How? What… what do they think happened to me?”

“Oh, you can read about it if you like.” Riley almost sang. She removed one hand to grab a newspaper clipping on the nightstand and handed it to Javier.

Fiery Crash Leaves One Dead And Rocks Nashville Suburb

Javier Andres Peña of Nashville, Tennessee was found dead on the side of Bell Road this morning by police after reports of smoke in the area. He was tragically killed in a vehicular accident on the evening of August 15th, when he lost control of his vehicle and struck a telephone pole. Evidence suggests he had been drinking and that a lit cigarette started the blaze that later consumed the vehicle. There was not enough left of the body to identify, but the plates on the burnt out shell of the 1965 Impala found at the scene matched a title in his name. His girlfriend, Riley Reid, reported he was meant to show up for a date that evening and never made it. Peña was 25 years old and is survived by his mother, Celestina Peña. The closed casket funeral will be on August 18th at 10pm at Our Lady Guadalupe Catholic Church. Wake to follow.

He almost choked. That pit in his stomach started to burn and boil. How… how could Riley do that… to his car. To whatever poor fuck she’d passed off as him. To Ma. To Lucas. Oh God Lucas. He felt sick. Angry.

“Baby… this was for your own good.” she whispered, “You love me, don’t you…?”

“Yeah…” Javier nodded tersely. The arms wrapped tightly around him once more. Guilt suddenly overwhelmed him.

“You trust me, don’t you…?”

“... Yeah.” What was he upset about again? He couldn't remember.

“You want to be with me forever, don’t you…?”

“Of course, Riles. Siempre.” He couldn’t have been more sure of anything in the world.

She turned Javier to face her and stood to meet him. Cradling him close to her neck again and tracing fingers through his hair.

“You’ll feel better once you’ve eaten, Baby. I promise.”

[dendro-bunny]

How they react to you throwing hands

Genshin impact Witnesses: Xiao, Zhongli, Diluc, Albedo

Warning:Violence, Death threats, mentions of blood, fighting, mentions of drinking, Highkey the worst kind of customers, just really mean people, sad albedo (yes that is a warning even though it was for a millisecond), creeps, if i missed any let me know please~

A/N- yo this is my first senerio or fic ever so please be nice. I'mma try to write well, since I am writing part this on a plane... on my phone... also I would appreticate some constructive critisim I am not the best at writing.

Proof read: Yes sir~

Word count: 2,947

Xiao

He is stunned, like a deer in headlights.

You are pretty calm person, super sweet, pure-Ish.

But that day OH BOY this poor drunk soul just lost his soul for pissing you off.

He would be so confused on how you switch so fast. From cold, plain mean, to a literal angel.

Xiao was about to handle it, then you beat him to the punch... Literally

Never in all his life has he seen this... It's kind hot-ashdlj

It was a lovely night in Liyue. You and your lovely adepti boyfriend was just taking you daily stroll. Something he became accustomed to after you snuck away from the Wangshun inn so many moons ago. He saw you each time and joined you. It got to the point he waits for you.

That beside the point now.

Right now, some not so lovely drunk in the middle of your path was walking towards you. Xiao was a bit occupied dealing with a ruin guard he spotted a bit away. He just wants to make sure you are safe. Even if that means wiping out any monster in a 100ft radius.

So, while he is doing that this drunken fool stumbles up to you. You just move out the way so he can go by, but he stops in front of you and you catch a whiff of straight vodka.

"H- *hic* hey therre *hic* sweet thang... W... what are you doing *hic* all aLone" his words are slurred and he has this sleazy smirk that ticks you off.

"I am on a nightly stroll, and I am not alone... I am with my boyfriend. Xiao" The look on your face was so uninterested, that ruin guard that Xiao was fighting seemed to shudder.

"I ain't see him... Why *hic* don't you just come with me and *hic* we can have some fun" he kept making flirty remarks and such towards you while you just prayed Xiao would get back.

"No thank you really I am ok, goodbye." Just as you say that you see Xiao approaching ready to spear this fool. That is when you try walk towards Xiao. You didn’t register the drunk creep approaching you. This poor boy grabbed your arm, his mistake. Xiao was about 10ft away and saw this beautiful scene play out, that made him slow his pace.

You turned on your back foot and swung this man, slamming him to the ground. You peered down at him and stared in his eyes your eyes glowing the color of your vision.

"don’t you touch me or anyone else like that after they say no again, I will personally hunt you down and tear you piece by piece. Do you understand me." This man is now shaking clutching his wrist from landing on it when being thrown. He went to attack you but you were too fast. You started beating him to a pulp.

Xiao stops and stares. Then he runs up to you pulling you off the poor unfortunate soul, while also trying to suppress a laugh.

"My charm... (Y/N) ... What was that? Why didn't you call me?" You step off the man and dust yourself off, not like you got any dirt on you, and just smile at him. "Oh, hey my dear are you ready to continue our walk?" Xiao is taken aback by how soft your voice became again and the fact you just swerved his questions.

He blinks at you then looks down at the guy groaning in agony, then back to you. Then nods still looking back and forth perplexed. Perplexed at what the literal fuck just happened and why the fuck is he turned on by it.

Zhongli

I feel bad for that person you are fighting

It probably has something to do with him- lol

He thinks it's a normal day...

well until he sees a crowd of people

when he looks closer, he is shocked and concerned

It was a blood bath while- well, you barely had a scratch

Today was supposed to be a good day, a great day even. Your witch craft shop was booming. With the money you got you were going to pay your rent money for the building then take Zhongli shopping (while teaching him how to properly save his mora) and have a quiet stress-free day.

But oh, how the archons loved to test your patients. Which you have little of from being in the shop all day. Especially since this one hillichurl looking bitch kept yapping on and on about how hot Zhongli was and how she would love to just to get in his pants.

That pissed you off more than that old hag pestering you to lower your prices on stupid potion she wanted you to make. Did I mention you were Zhongli’s lover? So those words kept playing over and over again. You knew she knew you and Zhongli are a thing. Yet there she was in your store going on and on, you had just about enough.

With a hefty sigh you pardon yourself from the conversation you were having and made your way over to that girl. Your foot steps were louder than mountains being dropped from Celestia. The only one left talking was her and her “friends” they barely hang out with her, and when they do it's only for shopping sprees.

“Ahem... Excuse me? Are you going to buy anything? If not, you need to leave, I have customers outside who want to come in.” You try to put up a professional front. However, the way you are tapping your foot on the ground shows how thin your patients was.

“oh~ if it isn’t Zhongli’s side piece.” What? “I so forgot you work here. If those people need room, you and them should lose a few pounds.” She reminds you of a chihuahua... She is small, annoying, and easy to punt.

“I would like it if you keep my boyfriend's name out of your mouth, and shouldn’t you worry about the seven corsets you are wearing cutting off your circulation...”

Now here you are outside of your shop where you dragged that hoe, after exchanging a few hateful words, where most of Liyue Harbor is gathered watching you “fight.” That includes Zhongli.

How did he get there? Oh right. His story was interrupted when everyone went running the direction of your shop. He thought something had happened to you. and something did, but different than he imagined.

The girl on the ground getting pummeled by you is bloody and bruised. Flailing her arms like she is drowning, kicking her feet like a toddler. Meanwhile the only thing he can see on you was a bright red slap mark on your cheek.

As he tries to step forward your friend stops him with a huge grin on her face. “You don’t want to touch her she might beat you up. Also, that bitch deserves this, always talking so much shit. About time she learned not to mess with the best witch in Teyvat.”

Of course, Zhongli was taken aback by this and looked over at you. All he saw was rage, your rage. You were at your limit with people. After a few seconds the girl started pleading for mercy. That is when you held her up by her collar and stared her in the eyes and whispered something only you and her could hear. Then you dropped her, and turned around and walked into your shop, slamming the door, flipping the open sign to say closed.

The crowd started to dissipate with hushed whispers of gossip. Zhongli stayed and stood at your door. After a second, he knocked on the wooden door with a heavy hand. He was about to have a serious intervention with you.

"(Y/N), Open your door. It's me Zhongli..." He waits a bit till he sees the door crack open and you peep your eye out.

"Yes...?"

"Can I come in?" He raises an eyebrow holding in a grin when you open the door for him to step in.

Diluc

hhhhhh sir can you pick your jaw up off the floor- asdhahsjdl lol

He was working the bar when you came in and he could see you were pissed

then the person sitting next to you at the bar just unlocked a beast that couldn't be stopped.

he is standing there as you almost murder this guy- he almost dropped the glass he was cleaning.

he snapped out of his daze when the regular drunks- Kaeya and Venti- started cheering you on

he then stepped in and dragged the person out the Tavern then dragged you to the balcony outside trying to comprehend what just happened

Today was infuriating, no beyond infuriating! Why today, of all days, is when Celestia decides to push all of the wrong buttons. You own the finest tailor shop in all of Teyvat. That is how you met your boyfriend, Diluc. Every customer that came decided to test you in some way.

One says you tried to scam them by making their family name too small, even though on the flyers it states it is small and why, when you told them it would cost extra to enlarge, they asked for a refund and the outfit. One kept making you retailor the whole outfit because she didn't like the color and she ultimately decided on the first color.

It kept getting worse till this one guy came in with the outfit on and told you it wasn't right and to fix it. When you asked for it back, he said and i quote- "HEH?! this suit isn't from you! Are you trying to get me undressed?! I should tell the newspaper about this!"

You sighed and pushed him out and went on break. Now it is the end of the day and everyone you passed could feel the dark aura coming off of you as you make your way to the Angel Share Tavern.

The one place you will see your dark night hero tonight aside from at home at the vineyard. But as soon as you get in you are passing out on one of the couched and shutting down for the night. So, you need at least a tiny bit of future husband time.

"Welcome to the Angle Share Tavern. Please make yourself at home..." You hear that suave voice of your boyfriend and relax just a bit. What you are met with verses what he is met with is like comparing fire and ice one is cool, calm and harsh. The other is all over the place, forceful, and raging.

"You look... well." Diluc offers you his prized smile.

"Cut the shit I know I look like more than a mess than Kaeya over there. My usual please." You look over to the Calvary captain and the drunken bard, as Diluc starts making your (f/a/d [ favorite alcoholic drink])

"Huh? I know that voice." There goes your peace. The chair next to you turns and oh, what a surprise a man clad in one of your (stolen) custom suits. "YOU'RE THAT BITCH WHO TRIED TO MOLEST ME IN THEIR SHOP!" That catches a certain red haired ponytail wearing cuties attention.

"Excuse me what did you say?" Diluc saw how your leg was bouncing so he tried to talk this out.

"I didn't stutter, did I?" keep calm

"I think you have the wrong person; I know them like the back of my hand. They would never do such a thing."

"Yes, they did! They tried to take this suit off my body!" tick tock tick tock...

"You mean the suit you stole from me." you were so close to decking this man.

"How dare you accuse me of stealing you untalented hag!" boom...

This guy can say goodbye to his front teeth... mainly cause they are now on the other side of the Tavern-

The sickening crunch of your fist meeting his face made everyone in the Tavern look over. The ameno God and frost pirate made their way over and started laughing.

"FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FiGHT FIgHT!" Pretty sure Kaeya's voice just broke itself.

"Tag me in friend! I'll finish him off!" Venti says as Diluc picks him up by the collar.

"ENOUGH! Return to your seats or no one drinks tomorrow or the day after" Diluc’s words didn't stop you but it did with the regulars.

At this point you are crying and your punches slow. Diluc wraps his strong arms around your waist and drags you away. You weakly struggle to get out of his arms.

He takes you upstairs to the outside balcony and lets you out of his arms while both of your mind's race.

“Why- why do they not like what I do... I try so hard to make things perfect, and they say I am wrong and stupid... Diluc do you think I should just quit?”

His heart broke at what you just said, pulling you into a hug and holding you close and never letting go- not until you know how much he loves you.

Albedo

lowkey high key jotting this down-akjsldals

You were part of his experiment for the month, you were the last person he was observing. mainly just to spend extra time with you

He would be watching you intensely. How do you know? You looked at him and he was writing what your reactions were

what really got you, was the person annoying you started speaking down on Albedo HE HEARD ALL OF IT

That is when he looked away kind of sad and you went off

He looked back at you when he heard a crunch and saw this poor fool getting their face smashed in.... he started writing that down too- absdkahldfh

What a gorgeous day. Just doing what you normally do, and getting to do it with your perfectionist alchemist Albedo. The day couldn't get any better, you help a lot of animals today, being a vet and all.

Albedo was there to examine what make people different and the same. This was for a presentation he was going to use as an example for new alchemist students on how to conduct proper research. Every day of the month he did a different person. You were the last, mainly to spend time with you after.

The day went by smoothly until you went on break and decided to get lunch. They line at the Cat's Tail was so long but you thought you had patients, unlike the person behind you.

They, for the love of all thing's alchemy, wouldn't stop shoving you and telling you to hurry up.

No matter how many times you told them you couldn't move up they would keep asking a second later with a snarky remark.

"Maybe if people as slow as you weren't in line, I would have gotten my food already.... should you even be in this line? Food will become scarce if people your size wait in line."

Those didn't bother you much. You were teased a lot when you were younger since you were a bit chubbier than others. That made you determined to be better in your own way since no matter what you did you couldn't lose weight. Also, with Albedo giving you reassuring smiles while you were in line made it better.

You were almost there too. But they saw Albedo and focused their anger on him and woo nelly, it was almost like the world stopped for a hot minute and you processed them.

"Ugh why is that good for nothing, absolutely ugly alchemist doing here?" what did they say?

"The Knights of Favonius don't need anyone like him around? What make him so great? I feel bad for any fool who would want to date that"

You look over at Albedo shocked but he wasn't even looking up... and he looked as if he was about to cry. And omg did his lip just quiver? He is holding back a reaction, but you could tell and that was your final straw.

You pivot on your foot and straight up decked this mo'fo. The person fell straight back and hit their head on the concrete.

"Ow! what the fuck is wrong with you-" they paused... your eyes were glowing blue like the color of your Hydro vision.

You take slow steps forward and when you are right above them you start landing punch after punch.

Albedo heard the first impact and his head shot straight up. As he saw you landing punch after punch, he felt this sense of pride. His hands worked fast to write your reaction down.

Everyone in the area was watching and was whispering amongst themselves.

After the final sentence is Albedo's book, he put it away and rushed to you pulling you off.

"My snow flower that's enough, they learned their lesson..." he looks at the beaten and bruised person on the ground crying out for someone to take them to Barbra.

"No, they don't deserve my mercy! Not after what they said about you and how they were acting!" Albedo tightened his grip on you as you struggled more. After aa bit of you still wanting to get at that person, he lifted you up and threw you over his shoulder and started walking away.

"Snow flower violence isn't going to help how you feel we must go now." You kicked and screamed at him to put you down till you stopped and started crying on his shoulder.

He would have to write all this down later, but for right now cuddles are overdue.

[punkscowardschampions]

Indie & Rio

Indie: can we chat? Rio: 'Course we can Indie: you still mad tho? Rio: No Rio: Serious Indie: me either Indie: my heart b heavy but not w that Rio: What's wrong, babe? Indie: all things Indie: its bad here Rio: How bad? Indie: dred like i dont wanna drag you back in but i cant cope w it Rio: Don't worry about me Rio: I'll have to sort some stuff here but how soon do you need me back Rio: and what can I do 'til then, like Indie: let me be w you i wont 2s mckenna or no thing Indie: but i gotta be out Indie: theres too many fucking situations Rio: alright Rio: of course Rio: i'll sort the uber now, where am I sending it Rio: is it the things i know or has something else, or multiple something else's happened? Indie: [sends random ass location because honestly where the fuck she wanna be rn] Indie: theres more and worse Indie: how you want it? Rio: First tell me you're safe Rio: then tell me however's easiest for you Indie: I'm proper high rn are they gonna let me come to london? Rio: Yeah, obviously don't bring anything but if it's gone it's gone Rio: You'll be fine Indie: safe Indie: i got none left to bring Indie: it been like that Rio: Damn Rio: Say no more, but do Indie: i get why my ma werent trying to do nothing but this Indie: cept its there still when you come thru Rio: That's the problem Indie: cant keep it goin innit cant keep no thing goin Indie: cant keep drew from wildin acting like a younger bringin feds to my door and my boy on my back cos hes fave target Indie: neither chatting to me like i done this Indie: did i? idk Rio: Nah, you didn't Rio: I can't even expand on it because just no, how could it be you Indie: thats how the boy treating me like i livin for the drama Indie: but the feds want drew in the pen & thats how he want it cos theres nothing left for him to fuck up in these ends Indie: i cant stop it none Rio: That ain't you though Rio: and who would be about this shit, it's the worst Rio: As for Drew Rio: I'm sorry Rio: We've been here before, there's no talking to him when he's in that space Rio: and that isn't on you Indie: every day we on this he be spitting angry at me throwing shit around but acting like im the one creating Indie: its too hard Indie: and yeah then theres drew back on his bullshit Indie: w the only apology yours to hold cos he aint offering Indie: i want him gone & i put that out into the universe so mayb i did it Indie: this is proper gone tho & that baby gonna be born soon Rio: Oh babe Rio: He don't know you like that, he shouldn't be treating you like that, standard Rio: even if you were the biggest drama queen in the world but you ain't and he got you so fucked up on that Rio: Nah, he's doing it all himself, even if you thought you wanted it or still do if not this way Rio: you can't make him do the dirt he do, or make him not Rio: The baby will be good, it'll have it's Ma and Bea is staying with her still and everyone else, you know it'll be okay Rio: what about you though baby Indie: how i let him chat to me that way? who am i rn? wtf Indie: i just want our yard back and you back and things to be what they were Indie: but its not Indie: cos even if we there what kinda ma she trying to be for real? im spinning out but like where in the universe is she @ Indie: & none of this is gonna hurt you most Indie: thats the last thing i aint chatted Rio: We've all put up with shit we shouldn't have Rio: 'cos we thought it'd pay off Rio: You ain't alone in that, nor does it make you less you even if it makes you feel less altogether Rio: I can try to talk to Drew, about the flat, idk if I can make that happen but if he goes jail he loses his lease, he only kept it in the past 'cos his boss' would pay it if he dealt inside, like but he ain't got the clout he used to have Rio: accept it or nah, no doubt we could chat about me taking it on if it comes to that but i ain't making promises Rio: I know but, you gotta trust we will all be there for damage control Rio: we're all alright ish, yeah? Rio: Go ahead, babe, I can handle it Indie: i got caught up cos i wanted someone to be for me & about me one time & everyone else has somewhere to lean Indie: you and mckenna being goals in my face Indie: everything else was a mess but i just added Indie: and now she has Indie: cos what i gotta tell you is bills told me edie be gone Indie: hardcore packed up and run out Rio: i know there's nothing i can say to make you feel less shit about it but i swear to you babe, we've all been there Rio: you know i have Rio: it doesn't make it better for you but it ain't your fuckup, it's one we all go through to grow through, yeah? no bullshit Rio: she did talk to buster but Rio: i didn't think it'd be anything more than normal Rio: i'll tell ma Indie: i reckoned bills was gonna cry she was carrying that much worry Indie: i aint no what to tell her Rio: I'll talk to her too Rio: I don't know what I'll say but Rio: it'll be alright, we can sort this Indie: i been swerving dem all hard as you Indie: more than she got detention for how hard she was trying to hit me up she said Indie: doing everyone the dirtiest ever why i gotta leave Rio: I can't blame you Rio: This shit is hard Rio: and painful Rio: I'm sorry I left you alone Indie: he aint try and fuck me i got no excuses Indie: [sends selfie] am I 😢 I can't feel it so what you seeing? Indie: not trying to be out here in the wild 💔😭 Rio: Baby calm down okay, you're good Rio: Your flight is booked and the uber is en-route Rio: I sent all your deets to you, all you gotta do is get here Rio: we're gonna sort all this okay and the shit we can't we gonna make bearable at least Indie: i dont have anything tho cant b living in mckennas garms after the last Indie: he gon b mad enough im rolling up likely Rio: No he won't Rio: I got plenty of shit you can borrow don't stress on that Rio: Nance has got a mental wardrobe here too Indie: o yeah other mckenna Indie: always sleeping on her living there too Indie: she aint but she do Rio: Exactly, I've had to borrow her bed loads of times before and you know they living that en-suite life Rio: you can stay for as long as you need Indie: innit what school gon do put drew in prison? 😂 Rio: Tbh Rio: In the grand scheme of things, that doesn't matter rn, soz teachers Indie: ill screenshot them words like my ma says Rio: I missed you Indie: safe cos imma be in your face soon Rio: wish it was under better circumstances, like Rio: but we'll get there Indie: @ the age to have a breakdown once a wk soz bout it 😂 Rio: that i can handle Rio: nothing that a pint of ben & jerry's and some chill time can't Indie: warn mckenna to lock up his squad & we all good Rio: 😏 Will do Rio: he's not really rolling with them rn so temptation should be outta the way Indie: 😍💍 be like Indie: i feel it Rio: Erm I ain't that hoe 😣😂 Indie: theres how you say & how you do bitch 😏💘😂 Indie: 👀 you from the front row in a few Rio: 🙄😔 am I really that bad Indie: nah nah Indie: mckenna be amp as Indie: its a good link Rio: Yeah but I mean Rio: do you feel like I've been ignoring you Rio: pre you know, that bullshit Indie: allow it babe Indie: you never done nobody that way Rio: Promise Rio: 'cos that ever what I was trying to be Indie: you always on the clock & your game Indie: trust Rio: Alright, 'nuff about me Rio: is there anything else you need, either now or for when you get here? Indie: gon need to grab my shit while 👻ing this boy Indie: standard juggle Indie: if hes been holding that long & not dashed it out ill break in Rio: You're gonna take some mates with you, yeah? Indie: bitch please i dont need the lads knoing my business that hard Rio: is it a good idea tho, even if he got his own van u kno they all got each other's backs, like Rio: be careful, all i'm saying Indie: they aint gonna call the feds on me man Indie: ill leave it til im back need a clearer head than this for a lock pick Rio: Yeah, don't worry 'bout it now Rio: anything replaceable we can sort now Indie: im not tryin to lose my head over things rn Indie: if imma be in london i got what i need Rio: That's the main thing Rio: and I ain't gonna come at you with 20 questions either, like Rio: space can include from me, just lemme know what you're feeling Indie: i been had enough space from you girl Indie: i miss you Rio: was hoping you'd say that Indie: i love you more than Indie: thats the mood Rio: i love you too Rio: no outs Indie: dont lets lose each other again Indie: 💖💖 Rio: never 🧡 Indie: how long this uber tryna be im 😫😫😫 Indie: imma b sleepin on this wall like i kicking it nursery rhyme vibes Rio: it's saying it's nearly there on the app Rio: if you gonna crash at the airport make sure you near the gate tho Indie: safe Indie: o sick idea Indie: the plane not trying to be up long enough for that shit tho innit Rio: legit its as quick as the bus into town like Rio: be here in no time Indie: its a madness Rio: yeah, see, it's not that far really Indie: feels like Indie: but mayb thats just how i want it so i can 👻 this town harder than afore Rio: it's far enough for that Rio: ain't letting drew out the country are they Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: not less they start deporting crooks old school like when 🐨 country just one big pen Rio: He wishes Rio: always got his top off like we living that life here Indie: fr like he needs a tan to appear more peng nah nah Rio: if we wanna get a new wifey Rio: least if she out there we unlikely to be related to her so go off Indie: true true Indie: unless he tryna head to spain for my nan we all good Rio: 😬 Rio: yikes, not a mental image we need Indie: idk i hear she keeps things tight & fresh Indie: hes done worse Rio: Stop 😩 Rio: 'less you gonna bring me one of them sick bags Indie: get you a straw donkey when he drag me out there for the 💒 Indie: i got you Rio: when u don't wanna be nan but u down to be ma Indie: least she too old to put a 👶 in Indie: & it aint like being down to be ma is top of his list for how he want his wifeys Indie: that ones just for you like Indie: ro not trying to mother me no mind the one she growing rn Rio: Fair Rio: Willing to put up with his shit and mother him is clearly more vital Rio: 'low it with the mommy issues like he's the only one going without Rio: twat Indie: o snap Indie: just cos yours aint want you boy dont mean you gotta kill mine tho Rio: o snapped too soon Rio: but he ain't get snapped on enough for that Indie: when he offering you dem same goodies ☠ Indie: thanks dad Indie: you a real one Rio: waste Rio: he's so fucked Indie: i was 👍 Indie: down & out Indie: what that make me? Rio: you a kid Rio: not chatting down to you, but you allowed to be is what I mean Rio: he's grown and he caused your shit, he should know and do better so you could Rio: literally his job Indie: idc now if he show up for astrid thatd do man Indie: grown past him still Rio: Yeah Rio: we'll have to wait n see if he can be arsed to prove himself Rio: idk if he's been allowed near since you know Indie: not from what ive 👂 Indie: coulda changed since he stopped chatting at me tho Indie: or he coulda just been chattin it so it dont look his fault he swervin Rio: wouldn't blame them from keeping him away rn, your hormones are fucked and she's never had much sense when it came to him Rio: but i don't know if it's a forever deal or what Indie: i can see her lawin it cos he burned her so hard w this Indie: proper owned Indie: she aint tryin to let you come thru & you fam so Rio: well you know Indie: cant call her out that hard when it aint that different from how my ma tryin to be when Indie: they all 🤡 for him Rio: yeah Rio: i don't get it Rio: whatever, he's good looking Indie: so your da he aint a wasteman w it Rio: it's easier to be treated like shit sometimes though than accept the love init Indie: call out 🔫 at me bitch Rio: not what i was going for Rio: just saying he ain't special with it, we all do it Indie: 👀 you Rio: 😏 shh Indie: 😂 Rio: neway Rio: he's out, yeah? Indie: innit Rio: 👍 Indie: how you livin Indie: gimme dat 411 Rio: yeah good tbh, the place where i work is cool Rio: i'm just doing promo stuff 'cos i don't wanna get too into anything obvs but it's fun, not dry like the angel was getting Indie: sick! they gonna let me in or ⛔ Rio: see what i can do Rio: sure we get u made up no one gonna be too amp Indie: dont 🤡 me Indie: keep it 💋 Rio: oi don't be doubting my skillz Rio: you ever seen me out like that 😂 rude Indie: doubtin my ability to carry all that Indie: you ever seen me in 👠 bitch Rio: you don't need 'em when you out with me Rio: only just be touching your height in mine so Indie: 😂😂😂 Rio: 😣 be looking stupid short 'round here Indie: you will stand w mckenna Rio: what i'm sayin Indie: 😍 gotta travel far 💖💖 baby Indie: good thing he extra too Rio: 😂 Indie: hows the love Rio: I don't wanna be extra about it at you Rio: but it is good Rio: and no one totally flipped shit on it so Indie: im not that 💔💔💔 you cant speak on it Indie: boy dont get to do me dirty and keep me pining long Rio: That's my girl Rio: 💪 Indie: throw shit @ me again he gon catch these hands Rio: serious, what a cunt Rio: he ain't gonna have the chance Indie: do me a solid & dont tell the fam yeah? your ma only just calmin after wanting to merk drew Rio: 'course Rio: you got it handled Rio: they don't need to know every little thing Indie: i did nearly run there the other thinkin i was gonna be baby'd up same time as my step ma near Indie: but nah 🍀 Rio: remind me to take you drs yeah Rio: 😰 Indie: its chill i not letting any lads near me in the 24 or out of Rio: still, with your memory, i don't think the pill is the one we'll get you the implant maybe Rio: or the coil, they last time Indie: sexy Indie: he was wrapped but it got fucked up idk was wild Indie: get them posho london drs to sort me 😂😂😂 Rio: nah you wanna be the one in control of that shit babe trust Indie: 👑👑👑 Indie: i feel that Rio: boys be mad dumb that shit could be old or ripped there's no telling Indie: fr 😒😒🙄🙄 Indie: he only got a year on me too idc how many girls he tryna chat he been w he dont kno that much Rio: You can defs take off at least 20% of whatever he chatting Rio: Trust Indie: serious? Rio: Probably Rio: or think about how many of them were like Rio: 5 minute fumbles at parties and shit Rio: doesn't really do much for your game even if its a numbers booster Indie: tell me mckennas i wont say shit to him swear down Rio: 😂 i would but idk Rio: i ain't asked Indie: girl WHAT Indie: bitch imma do it for you Indie: we taking off like 90% for him 'cause how he like to chat or nah? Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: I can imagine like, I don't need confirmation Rio: Poor baby 😂 Indie: do he kno your numbers? Rio: Nope Rio: 'less he tryna keep track like that which I doubt lmao Indie: its jam we can keep em on 🔒 Rio: Idc I'd tell you Rio: but he ain't wanna know trust Indie: boy too jel Indie: how they all be Rio: you know Indie: drew be tellin me how to do w my body like he something to me so we can let mckenna stand Rio: yeah that's a whole nother thing Rio: that ain't cute or wanted Indie: he aint 😂😂😂 Rio: truth hurts 😂 Indie: innit tho Rio: ur uber says its there so pull up Indie: i be waving to someone Indie: gotta b Rio: kinda excited even though it's cos everything is shit Indie: it me you gotta be hype 💖💖💖 Rio: That's alright then 😘 Indie: what mckenna say bout it? Rio: He's cool, gonna talk to his Dad so we don't have to Rio: getting food too to show he can, like Indie: trying to flex o boy Rio: ever since you dissed him Rio: gotta get good Indie: he need be told 👌 Indie: bring 🍔 🍕🍟 any of Indie: it aint hard if you smart Rio: idk if he taking orders but i'll let him know 😏 Indie: hit him w a screenshot and add 🥊 or 💪 Indie: 💍💍💍 life be like Rio: You have no idea babe Rio: getting it from both of yous again now 😜 Indie: is it? he wearin the 👖 thats how you 😍😍 Indie: i been knew Indie: 💘💘💘 Rio: Shut up 😩 Rio: That just how it be in the bedroom don't get it twisted Indie: 😏😏 when he such a daddy you let him wear the 👑 out 😏😏😏 Rio: yeah you lucky you still a flight away Rio: 🥊 'fore 💋 forreal Indie: 😂😂😂😂

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Ali

Chatting ‘bout Christmas, boy troubles, pregnancy AND THE FACT THE BABY IS TOTALLY NOT DREW’S LOLLOLLOL

Tommy: Oi! 😼 What you gettin da cos like even I feel cheeky considering socks for 2 years running Ali joined the chat 3 hours ago Tommy: I was gonna go full rivers of whiskey cept I'd probs drown myself in it before the bottle was in the bag 😂 Ali: So you should, elf on the shelf! Socks should only ever be an add-on prezzie, even if they're DEAD comical, like. Ali: Speaking of elf on the shelf, would you be willing to come round mine every day at the crack of dawn (aka JUST before the kiddos will arise like horrible demon krakkens from the depths) so I can arrange you in comical positions and situations? Ali: They love that shit. I on the other hand want to murder the CEO of whatever company/the high-key mum mafia that made this shit popular again. Ali: I've got me thinking cap on for the old man for ye...Hmm Ali: (and how rude to get cuffed for the season and not even get to the part where you get a bomb-ass present/someone to tout around the family functions...rude. You not actually at the bottom of a bottle quite yet though, yeah? Doing the obligatory welfare checkup here) Tommy: Excuse you miss money bags! 💰 just 'cause you're one of the rare artists who ain't starving like! some of us don't have boyfriends who cook or paying audiences Tommy: so yeah obvs! Gotta keep in shape just in case don't I? catch me pirouetting across your patio bitch Tommy: Green's my colour these days and red's always been signature Tommy: I'm alright (love you for asking!) how's you? Tommy: Genuinely Ali: Oh yeah, 'cos father will flip his shit if the price tag ain't AT LEAST three figs... 😏 Silly billy, and oi, oi! My student loan ain't kicked in yet ...I'm on a gap yaaaaaah though, darling, I've simply GOTTA act like a frivilous rich bitch. Deal with it, you're still the shady bitch of the fam, okay? 😘 Ali: Yaaasss, you're gonna have to drop a couple of pounds to fit in that teeny costume but a day in the life of a TRUE star init, babe? I believe in you Ali: Bet you didn't come here to be called fat, did you? How fucking cheeky is that forreal Ali: Colour of luck boy 🍀🍀🍀 Ali: Hmm, ngl I'm in a bit of a...situation, and I ain't talking I've forgot to order a turkey Tommy: Imagine...jog on old man just 'cause went for the quantity with the sprogs doesn't mean you'll get quality back soz Tommy: try it but good luck trying to get your little uns to deal with you being the spoilt one 😂 Tommy: well since I got the 🍀 its 🤞 Tommy: feckin hell has caleb forgotten kids are for life not just chrimbo again? Tommy: I'll deck his halls if he's being a prick Ali: That'll show him! That's what you get for bringing me into this world, whole lotta backchat and not an ounce of grattitude, take that! Ali: Join me 'cos I'm sure that's what mum feels I've got her Ali: We did Rio's first Xmas morning, and 2nd, at home! It really is Caleb's fams turn Ali: I can't help that its Junie's first, evidently I ain't planning this shit woman! Ali: #contraceptionwhomst? #pulloutnhopeforthebest #itswhatgodwouldwant Ali: And it ain't like we're not coming over for a second dinner, we fat as hell, get wid it and pass the gravy Ali: Catch me in the tesco throwing tantrums with Rio on the reg tbh #twocanplayatthatgamehoney #childrenraisingchildren Ali: Nah, although loving all the macho threats of violence when my honour is at stake as of late...Is my drama letting you live up to your full brotherly potential? Welcome... Ali: TMI, give a shit, but I'm late on and I've thrown up a few times, not from the mother's ruin, like Ali: hahahahahama'sgonnakillmeisn'tshe Ali: whatthefucklike Tommy: Who you kidding you're the blatant fave & lbr if the lord's got his specs on should be even more so for following her shining example like Tommy: honor thy father and mother and all that Tommy: who doesn't love a mini me Tommy: especially one who can sing every sperm is sacred with perf pitch Tommy: Amen! this aint 1850 pass the roasties gdi! Tommy: all we want for christmas is carbs Tommy: OH MY CHRIST NOT AGAIN Tommy: 😧 Tommy: I know you're on your gap year but no need to be so literal Ali: Ha, please! Not Tess Vickers' fave. Da's, obviously, as he is mine, (babe). You and Joe are the momma's boys, always have been, you needy little babbas. Ali: A woman who doesn't love herself...damn, too deep, reverse, reverse! Ali: You'd be surprised how annoying an all-singing-all-dancing constant reminder of all your best and worst bits is Ali: Usually the best, which is happy-making magic, but when its the worst...GOOD LORDT. Plus its a reminder of the same in your other half, and we all like to overlook that shit now, don't we? *sips tea* Ali: God I am gonna go HAM with my 'cravings' this Chrimbo...what timing! Maybe I did plan this after-all Ali: but no, I did not Ali: But yeah...this is a thing I'm processing, thought I'd drag you down with me 🤷 Tommy: I was gonna be all like not with him probs dead in a ditch and me one audition away from getting cosy in a cardboard box but I better swerve too dont wanna spend the season with the samaritans on speed dial Tommy: you and fraze are the success stories savor it Tommy: honey I've got a mirror Tommy: and near constant feedback from them in the know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: that's calebs chrimbo gift sorted then yeah? Ali: Lordy, I know we're Irish but there's no need to be that fuckin' maudlin, Tommo Ali: Oh, you wanted an idea for Da but that is SO Fraze's prezzie Ali: Just tell him that, all day. Money can't buy that kinda happiness Ali: The spirit of the Holidays Ali: Them in the know don't know shit Ali: I mean...gift or curse? Ali: We've only just got back on track, this is probably going to derail the whole damn caboose Tommy: everyone's a critic and there's only one shane macgowan I hear ya Tommy: I reckoned you meant a mirror for a sec I was like uh huh he's got that one covered love 😏 Tommy: Hey! That's mine covered 🙋 just repeat that back to me Tommy: those clueless cunts Tommy: Nah he'll be buzzing esp if he gets another girl Tommy: there's only one Rio but he's shameless ha Tommy: leave the cursing for ma she'll be doing plenty once she's done stuffing your stocking with contraceptives Ali: Mhmm, save it for the improptu karaoke when we're all feeling merry on the day, like Ali: Lmao, he'd live in a 360 degree view changing room if he could Ali: How millenial of us! Lets just gift each other with positive affirmations Ali: Maybe...Gah Ali: Whatever, whether he deals or doesn't, doesn't change the fact I am with child again and yeah, Caleb's reaction is the least of my worries Ali: I'm going to be going to Uni abroad with 3 kids...damn Ali: If I don't get locked away for my own good, of course Tommy: 😇 Will do Tommy: I reckon that's the goal when he 'makes it' Tommy: scrawl it on my personalised starbies cup and have done babe Tommy: You're grand it'll just be one hell of a plane ride Tommy: 🍀 & 🤞 Tommy: OH SHIT WAIT Tommy: the whole Caleb reaction thing has me thinking...not to be rude but Tommy: it is his yeah? Ali: It better be Ali: Aside from the Drew incident I didn't shag anyone else Ali: and we used a condom Ali: I mighta been several sheets to the wind but I hadn't lost my whole goddamn mind Tommy: thank christ for that Tommy: imagine trying to play happy families with that twat Ali: Amen Ali: Yeah that isn't the life I've signed up for Ali: Bitches forget I already got a ring on my finger, like Ali: Legal or otherwise Tommy: Beyonce is here for your union Tommy: good enough for me Tommy: low key proud of ya not to be an enabler but like Tommy: I'll happily hooray you getting Drew to put something on it too god knows where that fuckboy's been Ali: Thank you! I will take that hooray because I literally had to mum Ro's arse and tell her to do the same every time Ali: AND had to do it in such a way it didn't sound like I was saying as much, like, your boyf is a cheater and we all know it sweetie Tommy: ugh 😷 glad you did though I hear your next door nemesis had to get herself to the clinic sharpish & i don't reckon she'd spread gossip that'd make her out to be riddled Tommy: 🦀🐛 Ali: 🤢😤 Unsurprised on both their behalf there but low-key furious Ali: he knows how that bitch treats Ro, and always has done Ali: there's being a cheat with any random hoe and then there's that...is it me or is that next-level careless? Ali: To the point it looks like he's doing it to hurt her, I'm sure he's just ignorant but, like, what the fuck?!!? Tommy: RIGHT? Tommy: like I don't doubt she ain't telling him all the ins and outs of her childhood drama but still Tommy: even with more brains than biceps he's gotta have a clue or two Tommy: OOOPS ACCIDENTAL COMPLIMENT Tommy: I'm offended on my own behalf Tommy: almost as cringe as once thinking he was hot 🤓😳 kms Ali: Yeah but it ain't like he's not been here...and she's still a cunt to Ro now, so Ali: Tries to be to me but who's listening, Bitch I'm deaf all of a sudden??? Ali: Hahahahaha Ali: He's attractive, to the point its kinda fact more than opinion so I don't think you're alone on that score Ali: If the notches on his bedpost are anything to go by...and I fucked him so can't be judging, consider your sins absolved, no hail mary's needed, maybe a few bloodys when I next pin u down for an IRL debrief? Ali: Oh wait, a bitch can't...I'll make it a Virgin Mary...WHEY! Tommy: True and I know he ain't got a bitch muted 'cause I aint rn either 👀 & my specs are on when I'm scrolling Tommy: I see what I see Tommy: 😞 Tommy: Fuck it lets go dancing Tommy: bounce that bump while you still can Ali: 'Course not, gotta 'low the bitch to slide into dem dms on the reg, if for nothing else than the ego boost Ali: 😒 Ali: I need that, lets go lets go lets go, its been TIME since I got to go out and not take the bubs Ali: I'll have to see who can have 'em though... Ali: Can't be mum, really selling how responsible a parent I'm gonna be to 3 by throwing 2 at her and fucking off to partay Tommy: SAMSIES...not that I'm going out with 2 kids on the reg but y'know Tommy: we on it 💃 Tommy: Dial up their daddy Tommy: he'll step up while we step out I'm sure Ali: Sure, just the one, like #oosh! toosoonforbants? Ali: Can but try, I'll get back to you when he replies Ali: Ooh, what are we gonna wear Tommy: I've got my elf cossie if I can only squeeze in Tommy: you could pin a red letter on if you've got something that won't clash 🤔 own that guilt like a good catholic 📿 Ali: Ooh, festive AND appropriate for my situ, I like it. Tommy: A for advent sweeties 😘 Tommy: can you cut my hair though I looking like the grinch if he was a blonde blue eyed dreamboat Ali: And Awesome! And Ali! And Ass! 😎 Ali: Obvi, you never could rock the long hair look, remember that dark period in time 😂 Ali: Can I try something slightly new tho? 🤔 Tommy: why the feck not gotta at least look ready to mingle like Tommy: 💔😂 Ali: Dubo not gonna know what's hit it and ya mans gonna know what he missing when I'm done with you! Promise Tommy: I'll hold you to it Tommy: no pressure Tommy: oooh maybe we could go shopping 😀 Ali: You know I'm winning boys back like its my business Ali: well, boy singular but that's enough, right? #greedybisexual Ali: I am always down for killing time snapping up killer #lewks, lets do it man Tommy: yaaaaaaaaaaas Tommy: careful I might hold you to that too #tipsfrommybabysiskms Ali: baby be wise tho 💞 where u at i'll come get u Tommy: about a lot of things yeah 👍 nws I'll come at you I need the exercise #aintforgotyoucalledmeafattylike Ali: alright well, RUN FORREST RUN Tommy: 🏃