#Swansea telling Jimmy “I know what you did. I fucking SEE you.” with his axe

[arquinx]

Thinking about the meaning behind Curly ignoring the dead pixel Anya points out to him while Swansea shatters the whole screen with an axe after finding out what happened to Anya oooooooh I love this game so much

[the-gay-trashmouth]

I think something that's bothers me about how folks talk about mouthwashing is how they talk about Swansea. It's either "Swansea would have killed Jimmy immediately if Anya had told him" or "he knew and he did nothing just like curly." because, to me at least it leaves out a lot of nuance to his character and situation. Curly and Swansea are really good foils to each other, one who's got a reputation for being the kind and helpful captain but in the end does nothing to truly protect the crew from Jimmy, and one who's gruff, harsh, and cruel but genuinely tries to help in the background, the reliable mechanic.

(read more for a long Mouthwashing character ramble tw for unwanted pregnancy and SA)

Because Curly is the one with the power. He doesn't take what Jimmy did seriously enough. And you can say that he might not have known fully what Jimmy did, but I think the "I told you" pregnancy conversation and his reaction to Jimmy right before the crash ("come on we'll get through this together. We'll figure it out, you've had hard times before-") are indicators that he knew, but he still chose to stick by his friend and treat it like a "mistake" rather than what it really was.

Now that's my own personal speculation of course, there's no outright scene of her telling him "your best friend assaulted me", but I think there's enough evidence in game through Anya and Curlys interactions to say that he knew, and he knew before Anaya knew she was pregnant. He had a fully functioning ship and four fully functional cryo-pods. He could have at least given Anya more security, kept her far away from him, and at most forced him into the cryopod until they got back to earth. Jimmy STILL had full, uncontrolled access to the cockpit AFTER his freakout with curly. AFTER Anya tells curly she doesn't feel safe with him. AFTER Curly finds out he raped Anya. He's so focused on seeing the good in his friend that he does NOTHING to protect Anya, doesn't strip away not one of Jimmy powers as copilot and consequently endangers her and the rest of the crew.

Curly was the captain, he had the power to relegate Jimmy to the fucking storage closet if he really wanted, at least put him in the cryopod until they got back to earth. In fact, he was the only person above Jimmy in terms of rank on the ship, but he chose to do nothing. He chose to let Jimmy continue as acting co-pilot, chose to comfort him rather than actually confront him. Slides off his weird sexual comments as jokes "So what's this about horses?"

Now let's compare that to Swansea, the mechanic.

We don't have any evidence that Swansea knew about what Jimmy did until after the crash ("it's been her telling me things") where they were trapped with no captain, barely any rations, and a single cryopod that he kept hidden away in the one room he had the key too (and the only room that could lead into medbay). He didn't use it for himself, he makes it clear he didn't intend on getting off this hunk of metal in his last few conversations with Jimmy.

Swansea as the ship's mechanic, was used to fixing things in the background. He didn't need to get along with anyone to keep the ship running, he didn't need people to like him to keep them safe. We see that with Daisuke. He's harsh on him, for sure, but he leaves constant notes to help him learn. Genuinely tries to keep him out of harm's way when it comes to more dangerous jobs. We know Anya was scared of Jimmy getting a weapon, she hid the gun case in the medical bay even knowing she would never get it open. We can see Swansea and Anya off on their own towards the first days after the crash, and Swansea still has a tight grip of the axe weeks and months later.

I personally think that was him trying to keep Jimmy from having access to a weapon. The only time Jimmy gets the axe while Swansea is alive is when Anya Specifically asks him to use it to get medical supplies. I don't think that's a coincidence.

Swansea, like any good mechanic, was quietly trying to keep things running out of Jimmy's sight. It's not until everyone is dead or dying that he snaps, that he finally takes direct action. But it was too little too late.

Both Curly and Swansea thought they were doing the right thing, helping in their own way. Curly genuinely wanted to see the good in Jimmy, wanted it to just be some challenge they could overcome, but in doing so he failed to see the monster right in front of him. He had all the power (in context of the crew, the company is a whole other can of worms I have so many other thoughts on), but he was too afraid to use it. Hell, he was DISCOURAGED to use it if the memo about HR complaints are anything to go by. Swansea, on the other hand, never trusted Jimmy, never even really liked him, but he didn't want to make anything worse either. He didn't know what would actually set Jimmy off, or what he was capable of, and aside from just straight up killing him what else could he do that wouldn't just push Jimmy further off the edge? Like with the foam. "One wrong move and you'll rip this ship a new asshole", he worked carefully, hiding the last pod from Jimmy, keeping the only other weapon on himself, guarding the only other entrance into Medbay, but Jimmy was escalating quickly. He underestimated how far Jimmy was willing to go, just like Curly had, and in the end suffered the consequences.

The only character who actually understood how dangerous and unstable Jimmy was is Anya. She knew the moment she found out she was pregnant he would hurt her ("you won't let me protect myself"). He wouldn't be able to take it, he would do something drastic. She knew he was escalating the longer they were stranded. Anya is the only crew member who truly understood how dangerous Jimmy was and took direct action.

And interesting thing to me is that she doesn't just kill herself. She locks herself in the medbay. She could have waited for Jimmy to sleep, or locked herself in the cockpit, but she locked herself in the medbay with Curly. She knows that with her gone there would be no one left to take care of him, she knew Jimmy would continue to escalate his abuse, and with her gone all of his anger and fear and guilt would turn on Curly.

And wouldn't you know it? She was right. Without Anya to stop him, he takes curly out of the bed, forces him upright into the cryopod, and forces a man with no skin, no arms, no legs, and infected tissues to be frozen for 20 years while the rest of his crew Rot. And that's only what we know to be reality- if any of his delusions had some basis in reality he could have done so so much more. Anya is the Only one to take reasonable, direct action to keep herself, and then Curly, safe.

But she didn't have enough power over Jimmy to truly protect herself. She didn't have the code to the gun case, she didn't have a weapon or a rank to fall back on. She was outnumbered by men who she knew from experience either wouldn't or couldn't keep her safe, and she was heavily pregnant with a baby she didn't want and most likely couldn't even get enough nutrients to sustain either her or the fetus. She was physically weakened and trapped in a stranded ship with her abuser with no way home and a medical miracle (curse) in Curly.

This game is a really good reflection of reality, in my opinion as an abuse survivor. Some people will see them as "one of the boys" and constantly excuse or downplay their actions (Curly), some people will do small things in the background, recognize the abuse and disprove, but don't want to get in the way or make things worse (Swansea), and some people are just straight up oblivious/naive (Daisuke). But in the end, it's the system that allows abuse and incentives coverups to keep peace or save face that really allows abuse to fester and escalate.

Which is why I personally have a problem with the idea that Anya should have just Told A Different Man because it ignores the very real chain of power and her own agency in her story, AS WELL AS the idea that Swansea and Diasuke knew but didn't care because that's just not reflective of real life. Not every man is some rapist apologist who doesn't care what abusers do until it happens to them, some people just don't know what to do, or don't have any good options that wouldn't result in further abuse. Hell some people just don't even fucking notice! Not everyone has had exposure to the signs or knows what to look for.

It's easy when looking at fictional depictions of abuse to say "well if I was there I would have just punched him/killed him/called the police" but real life, in that moment, its never going to be clear cut. You can call out abuse, but that might just lead to that abuser taking it out on their abuse victim later. They could even start to target you for daring to speak out, or try to hurt you and cut you off from the person being abused. You can know all the right steps and the right programs, but in the moment, when faced with a real situation where someone could get hurt or even killed? You stumble. You think things over, you don't try and make any direct moves that would set their abusers off. Sometimes that's a good instinct, and sometimes that just lets abuse escalate. It's never a good situation, and it's never actually anyone's fault but the abusers. And this way of thinking also conveniently leaves out the survivor of this abuse, and portrays them as someone who needs to be saved, rather than someone who needs support and resources to save themselves. It also very conveniently lets the company that Put Anya in this situation in the first place get off Scott free.

The solution isn't "oh one of the men on board should have personally killed Jimbo and saved Anya all by himself" its "Anya deserved the support of her crewmates instead of being forced into close proximity with her rapist and also maybe Jimmy shouldn't have access to the fucking controls or medbay or any weapons- AND ALSO the crew shouldn't have financial incentives not to report things to HR"

[hollowblxxd]

Its been one hell of a long time since ive rambled about something so heres my rambles on mouthwashing and how i think everyone kinda seeing some stuff wrong.

This is mostly a focus on the situation between Anya and Jimmy unfortunately, and also my opinion on Curly and the innocence he has and the weight he carries. I understand the game doesn't go in depth on what happened between Anya and Jimmy but I think the subtle-ness of the games speaks more volumes than any dialogue. Basically in my head, given how Anya acts around Jimmy, I think the truth behind what happens its more long-term. That they were "together" in obviously a very abusive way. Jimmy constantly gaslighting, belittling then lovebombing, etc. etc. manipulating Anya into believing she had to be with him. I think the "one worse monster that doesnt define us" is the one moment in the relationship where Jimmy "took it too far" (the SA and possibly threat with a gun). I remember seeing another post of Curly being a metaphor for the future baby they would have together and seeing how Anya acts literally seems like a timid broken wife of an abuser. She too scared and guilty to work on the child she hates looking at and Jimmy is "forced" to do it, continuing to berate her for "not doing her job" (aka being a nurse OR being a mother.) I feel like that alone tells you how their relationship is. Anya isn't just a one-time victim but a LONG TERM VICTIM of the constant mental, emotional AND physical abuse at the hands of Jim. It doesn't wipe clean the one thing he did because they were "dating", Im not at all using this as a justification for anything at all but I suppose Im putting it in prespective. Because it leads into my next part with Curly. Everyone doesnt know what to think of Curly, good bad, whatever. I remember I was also mad to when I first found out about what Jimmy did and I was in fact mad at Curly for not doing more. But then I genuinely thought about it. Imagine you are literally hearing this for the first time, imagine you didnt even know Anya and Jimmy were "in a relationship", imagine if you did know they were a thing but didnt know what was going on behind closed doors, imagine if this was a one time event and the person you thought you knew was actually just a bad person. Imagine. Having not even a DAY, A DAY TO PROCESS THAT. Imagine if you had your own mental disorders that making it hard to process heavy emotions and now your stuck with this and you dont know what to do Imagine. Thats what Curly had to go thru. I understand why people are mad that Curly didnt do more, but in the end I want to personally believe that it such a complicated situation. That Anya and Jimmy seemed like they were on good terms, that maybe they were okay but they werent because behind closed door or when they were alone, Jimmy was eating Anya alive like some predatory parasite. Its a lot to process and Curly didnt have time to process it. He didn't have time to process that his friend was a monster, that his crew was unsafe, that HE had bad judgement, that maybe HE TOO was a BAD PERSON for NOT SEEING IT SOONER. Sometimes bad things happen and you dont know and you had to hold that guilty forever. Curly isn't a bad person, hes jsut a PERSON, a person going thru and being the sole person responsible for a LOT of literal possible blood on his hands. Hes trying so fucking hard to tread this all lightly to protect everyone. I don't think at all that Curly was trying to protect Jimmy. I think he was trying to protect his crew. Hes trying to be a good captain and sometimes that doesnt mean just fucking putting an axe thru Jimmy's head. Anya doesnt need to see that, Daisuke doesn't need to see that, Im sure Swansea would have volunteered but Curly wouldnt want to turn Swansea into a fucking MURDERER after all the years he spent being an honest man. Anya is already guilty and broken, Daisuke is innocent and young, Swansea is trying so hard to be on the good side of life. Curly is delicately balancing EVERYTHING. ITS ALL ON HIM HE TOOK THIS RESPONSIBILITY AND IT HURTS.

[xia0mi-c0m]

Im gonna be real honest with y'all.. I'm a Curly apologist-

OKAY LET ME EXPLAIN PLSSSS 😭😭😭

!!TW: MENTIONS OF RAPE, SUICIDE AND DEATH. AND SPOILERS OF MOUTHWASHING WILL BE IN HERE!!

Press "Keep reading" at your own risk if you're triggered by these topics but curious.

Let's get this out of the way; Curly's inaction about Jimmy raping Anya will be the main topic of this post.

I think most Mouthwashing fans seem to not understand that why Curly didn't step in to the situation beforehand is because (if I'm correct) Anya told the news to Curly 1 day before the crash from what I remember.

Do tell me, how is he supposed to process this in 1 day? And before anyone says something about arguing, hitting, etc. It's obvious Curly would not do that.

And I've seen some Mouthwashing fans say that when Curly was laughing at Jimmy that Curly was "actually crying".

If you replay that clip, he's obviously laughing.

But I think it wasn't him JUST laughing at Jimmy, but also himself. For just finding out that his friend is a monster from hell, for his inaction when he had the chance.

I also heard a theory that broke me.

There is a theory that when Swansea brought the axe to Daisuke's face and the camera pans out and distances itself, that is wasn't just to spare the player from gore but it was also Curly's perspective during that scene. That explains why the room-like place the camera pans out to looks so similar to the infirmary, and why the POV looks more like it was Curly looking directly at the scene.

Idk I saw that theory and decided to share it cuz it broke me especially knowing that Curly also had to see Anya take her own life and I wanted to break you guys too.

Like, why did Curly bashing even become a thing? Bro couldn't do anything before he got fucking horribly disabled, give him a break Jesus 😭😭

So with this, I'm gonna say it..

JIMMY SHOULD BE THE MF WE BASHING ALONE, CURLY IS NOT FULLY INNOCENT BUT AT LEAST HE AIN'T LIKE JIMBO, BUT Y'ALL CAN JUMP J*MMY. FOCK YOU J*MMY!!!

I'M J*MMY'S #1 PROFESIONAL HATER

No one can make me hate you Curly 🙏

[thatoneautismwithgreenhair]

Chapter 1: Mouthwashing (Part 2) TW: R*pe, forced pregnancy, suicide, murder, hallucinations, alcoholism, body horror, injuries.

The crew are running out of food, and go to the warehouse in the ship to see what they've been shipping, what this trip was for. Mouthwash. Thousands upon thousands of mouthwash bottles. Swansea immediately drinks it, saying 'thats the sound of 20 years of sobriety popping like a cyst', and from then on there's rarely a moment he is not seen inebriated. Daisuke does get drunk off of mouthwash, but unlike Swansea, Daisuke grows ill and can be found at one point during the game lying on the floor in pain and despair. However, i'd like to note, Daisuke doesn't seem aware of just how bad things are, just how dire their situation is. He's in despair, but he does not know he's going to die. Eventually, Daisuke asks for Jimmy's help, Anya has locked herself in the medical bay, with Curly, and Daisuke assumes the lock is broken. However, after Jimmy asks, they discover it is in fact not. They go to Swansea for access into the utility closet, because the vent inside leads to the medical bay, however earlier in the game Daisuke attempted to climb into that very vent to fix something and was told by Swansea, after falling out of it and nearly getting injured, that is extremely dangerous. Swansea of course refuses, and Jimmy is able to convince Daisuke to help him drug Swansea so they can steal the key and 'save anya'. Daisuke agrees, because he wants to help. After drugging Swansea, they discover the utility closet isn't filled with foam. However, there is one working cryopod. Jimmy is furious, assuming Swansea kept it for himself, so he could survive, however he sends Daisuke into the vent to save Anya. What is then heard, is screams of agony as Daisuke is impaled upon sharp metal. However, he is able to reach the medical bay, bleeding and wounded. Anya is dead from suicide, in front of Curly's eyes who was unable to do anything. It is theorised that Swansea told Anya about the cryopod, and that he actually had saved it for either her or Daisuke, but wanted to give it to her because she was pregnant. However, this was not the life she wanted, not the outcome. So, she took matters into her own hands. However, it was all for nothing. Jimmy is scrambling, saying he can 'fix it', to the dying Daisuke. Swansea, on the other hand, takes the fire axe that is meant for cutting emergency foam, and tells Daisuke to close his eyes. It's unclear if Daisuke knew he was going to die, but for his own sake i hope he didn't. Swansea kills Daisuke in an act of mercy. Jimmy goes ballistic, getting the captains gun and attempting to shoot Swansea, eventually holding him at gunpoint. Swansea talks about his alcoholism, his life, how he thought if he kept his head down and did all that was expected of him in life, he'd be happy, but he was never happiest than when he was at the bottom of a bottle. He admits that he thought Daisuke could teach him to be happy without substances, calling him a 'useless ray of sunshine'. Jimmy's last words to Swansea is that 'hes going to fix it'. And before Jimmy shoots him in the head, Swansea's last words are 'fuck you'. A fitting act of defiance. It's then that Jimmy spirals, and does something disgusting. He gathers the corpses, placing party hats on each of them, and taking Curly to the centre of a table. Jimmy cuts up one of Curly's legs, feeding it to the corpses, himself, and force feeding it to Curly. And finally, the ending of the game, is Jimmy placing Curly into the cryopod, then committing suicide. Jimmy treats Curly like an idol of a deity by the end of the game, but Curly is awake, aware, and in agony throughout the entire second sequence of the game. It is truly haunting.

It's nearly 1am and i only just finished talking about mouthwashing jesus christ.

please tell me all about your hyperfixation/srs

dude, like I'm so interested now.

the second i saw i got this in my inbox, my laptop shut down, which is a pretty accurate representation of what happened to my brain.

I HAVE SO MANY WHERE DO I EVEN START WOFBORB

idk which you mean so ill simply chapter them :]

I'll also put a list of trigger warnings beneath each chapter name.

Chapter 1: Mouthwashing

TW: R*pe, forced pregnancy, suicide, murder, hallucinations, alcoholism, body horror, injuries.

For those who are unaware, Mouthwashing is a indie game made by Wrong Organ. It follows 5 crew members upon a cargo spacecraft called the Tulpar, run by Pony Express. Curly, the captain, a respectable and intelligent man who's blinded by his own loyalty. Jimmy, the co-pilot, a deeply mentally unwell and dangerous person who's been friends with Curly for presumably years, and Curly is who got him the job at Pony Express. Anya, the nurse, who failed medical school but had enough training to be hired for the job. Swansea, the mechanic, an older man who's stern and surly and frankly quite rude. And Daisuke, the intern mechanic, the youngest in the crew who's mom got him the job so he'd do something with his life. We'd be here for hours if i talked about the symbolism and foreshadowing, and i will include some but not all. Anya is repeatedly sexually abused by Jimmy, to which she tells Curly. However, whether it be he's blinded by his loyalty to Jimmy, know's Jimmy's mental state and therefore pities him, or simply can't comprehend his best friend would do something so disgusting and vile, he unfortunately doesn't do much to stop Jimmy, merely attempting to seperate them as best he can whilst juggling all his other responsibilities. Before the crash of the tulpar, there's a scene between Anya and Curly where they're sat together in the lounge, staring at a large tv screen that takes up a majority of the wall, which displays a fake night sky. Anya describes she actually enjoys coming out to look at the night display, and says that if you look very closely there's a dead pixel in the top right corner. Curly tries, but cannot see it, noting he's used to looking at the bigger picture. Anya then asks when they'll reach their destination, and Curly approximates it to be 237 days, to which hauntingly Anya immediately knows is nearing 8 months. She then asks why Curly thinks Pony Express placed a lock on the medical wing door but not the sleeping quarters, to which Curly responds ''I suppose for the same reason they put a lock on the cock-pit. Safety.'' An unfortunate and rage inducing blindness to Anya's situation, that she 'should' feel safe in the sleeping quarters near her abuser. Later, Anya tells Curly that she's pregnant, hence her asking how long it will be until the journey is over. Curly begs her not to tell Jimmy, that he'll do it. But, she tells him, and she takes a locked box containing a gun that only the captain can open out of fear of Jimmy finding it. Curly doubts this, however he finds Jimmy in the cock-pit, and after searching and failing to find the gun, Jimmy had smashed the control panel. Curly runs to the control panel, only to be hit with the strongest force of the crash of the Tulpar. Curly is left without hands or feet, or skin, only features remaining are one of his eyes and his teeth. Jimmy becomes the new captain, lying saying the now incapacitated Curly was the cause of the crash. Anya does her best to administer him medicine, however she cannot handle the disturbing sights and screams of agony from him. Jimmy takes over this job, but he is rough and violent with the man, saying 'I hope this hurts' whilst forcing the pills down Curly's throat. Swansea refused to let anyone into the utility closet, saying its filled with foam meaning that foam is covering an airlock breach and if anyone goes inside they could all die. I'm running out of space o_o So, i'll have to post this and continue. hehe.