#Superbad imagine

[embodyingchaos]

(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) michael cera masterlist

last updated: 29th september, 2023 newest: on-set, off-set (m. cera x actor!fem!reader!)

rules for requesting: ✮ disclaimer: i do not do smut, i can do dark themes such as stalking, etc. requests are open.

scott pilgrim(scott pilgrim vs. the world) - none yet. allan(barbie) - none yet. evan(superbad) - none yet. george michael bluth(arrested development) - none yet. michael cera(this is the end) - none yet. paulie bleeker(juno) - none yet. michael cera on-set, off-set genre: michael cera x actor!fem!reader, fluff, established relationship warnings: none, just goofyness, BUT THIS IS VERY UNEDITED synopsis: a small look at michael and y/n on working together for the barbie movie.

[patchouliauthor]

Watching Superbad currently and it’s inspiring me to finish pt 3 so expect that in the next coming days. <3

[megantheebaddest]

Can you do a smut imagine where basically jack and his gf and their freinds are having a movie night at his house but you start getting horny and text him to meet you in the bathroom

a/n: Thanks for the request baby🥰

18+ MDNI

Needy Girl

Everyone was cuddled up in the living room of Jack’s place, fully invested in Superbad. Snacks and cans of beer scattered across the coffee table. You could not focus on this movie even if you tried. Sipping your wine cooler you observe the room when your eyes land on your boyfriend. Jack was sitting across the room from you with his hood up, manspreading, laid back in his seat totally invested in the movie letting a few giggles escape his lips. Your eyes flickered around the room once more before landing back on Jack. You watched as his lips pressed together into the cutest grin ever, him and Urban can quote the whole thing. Which they did. Slapping each other laughing at every thing.

You started to feel the heat between your legs. Still sipping your drink you kept your focus on Jack. ‘I need him.. right now’ you thought in your mind. You bit the inside of your cheek, flickering back and forth between Jack and the movie. An idea came to mind. You quickly pulled out your phone and opened the text thread between you and Jack. You looked back over to him and he had his head laid back on couch now but still the same position. His eyes looked to be getting heavy.

“Hey” you texted eyes immediately looking back at him. He didn’t move though.

“Jackman” you texted once more.

This time his hand crept into his pocket sliding his phone out, eyes still on the movie. With squinted eyes from the brightness of his phone he read your messages. He looked up at you with a smile.

“Watch the movie y/n” he responded. Putting his phone back in his pocket and continued watching. He was now manspreading and had his hands in his sweat pants pockets. My god he looked so good.

“i can’t.”

“you look really good, i can’t focus”

Feeling his phone vibrate twice he kept his head laid back on the couch rolling it to look at you. He gave you an annoyed look. Most likely for interrupting our movie night. As he looked at you, you looked away back towards the movie. Out of the corner of your eye you see him get his phone back out. You look back at him to see his thumbs texting back.

“Drink some water you seem thirsty ma” he responded.

He looked over at you reading his response. Your eyes shot up towards him with your mouth hanging open with a shocked expression. You immediately pout at him. He shoved his hands back in his pockets, head laid back, smile from ear to ear on his face, and now he was squeezing his legs open and shut. You know when he does that he’s trying not to get hard.

“Come to the bathroom with me” you texted back.

You got up from your seat and quietly walked out without any of the other guys seeing you. Jack however watched your every move. He opened your text and looked around to see if anyone was paying attention, luckily no one was. He quickly got up and made his way to the bathroom. He was right behind you, you had no idea you didn’t hear him. You made it to the bathroom and when you entered it you turned around to shut the door but before that you were met with Jacks lips crashing into you. You inhaled a sharp breath from being startled. He shoved his tongue in your mouth moving it all around. Your hands creeped up and grabbed the back of his hair.

“You needy girl. Just couldn’t wait till later huh?” He asked grinding his hard on into your sensitive area. You immediately pushed forward and grind back into him.

“mm” was the only thing to escape your lips.

“What do you want?.. Tell me what you want baby” He said.

You only started lifting his shirt up sucking on his neck, losing your patience.

“Answer me.” Jack said sternly.

“Fuck me. Ruin me. Do anything you want, please.” You say almost screaming. You started ripping your clothes off.

“What’s got you so worked up? Huh baby?” Jack says as he too removes his clothes.

“You. Just please hurry it up will ya?”

“Relax alright? I’ll take care of all your needs. Just be patient y/n” He slowly starts kissing down your neck

“literally i can’t. I’m literally on the verge of cumming already.” you say trembling

“But i didn’t even touch you yet? Must not need me then?”

“Stop, please just fuck me already”

Jack effortlessly picked you up slamming you on the bathroom counter. A little squeal escaped your lips. He slowly entered you, your head falling back.

“Eyes on me.”

You looked right at him with your mouth in a ‘O’ shape. Without warning he quickens his pace.

“You’re so tight y/n, my god.. FUCK “

His big hand wrapped around your throat lightly squeezing, he stuck his thumb in your mouth. You couldn’t control your moans. Your legs were trying to squeeze shut as they were trembling.

“Relax baby girl. I’m almost there too. Hang on for me, just a little longer.”

You couldn’t even think clearly. Anytime he talked you through it you were a complete mess. Before he gave you the okay you came all around his dick.

“Fuck! You’re such a little fucking brat. Ya know that?” Jack moaned out as he pounded into you harder and faster.

“Let me get another one out of you just for that.”

You were squealing and trembling, completely over stimulated. He kept pounding into you relentlessly.

“Jack i can’t hold it any longer!”

“Yes you can” He grunted

You came again. All over him.

“Y/n!!! Last chance” He growled.

He continued his thrusts as he pulled at your nipple with his mouth. He was a moaning mess.

“I’m close baby are you almost ready?” He asked

“Yes.. Yesss. YES!” you moaned

“Cum with me. Now!” Jack hissed.

You both came, moaning loudly. He had his head buried in the crook of your neck. He slowly thrusted in and all the way out, riding out your highs.

“You wouldn’t be so worked up if you would have just listened to me.” He said out of breath.

[padfootsaphrodite]

When someone asks me who my favorite fictional character is but they haven't watched Monster House, or diary of a wimpy kid, or SuperBad, or been inside my brain to see how I imagine Peter to be as a person who didn't betray his friends.

[overleftdown]

farleigh analysis PART 3, because i might as well do the entire movie at this point. i'm locked in. this is going to cover the early-saltburn summer era. AKA, oliver's once in a lifetime, hand job on a haybale, golden big boy summer. everything after venetia and oliver's sex scene is in another post on my blog. this one is pretty short.

[0:34:42] (they're watching superbad. teehee.)

farleigh looks borderline revolted in the background of this shot, which is so funny to me. superbad is, in my opinion, notoriously rude. the comedy is hollow, childish, homophobic, etc. even seth rogan admits that the movie is tone deaf and aged horribly. that's neither here nor there, though. all i'm saying is that i can't imagine farleigh would enjoy the movie as a queer person.

[0:35:19] elsbeth: is that right, he had to put his fingers down his mother's throat to make her sick? farleigh: yeah. felix: farleigh, that's private stuff! farleigh: well, you told us. felix: in confidence!

when elsbeth initially asks the question, she's looking directly at farleigh. yet, when felix confronts farleigh about discussing private matters, farleigh responds with "well, you told us." meaning the family, i assume. felix had no issue with elsbeth and pamela discussing oliver's home life until farleigh was very moderately involved. it's odd to me. and yes, felix is the one that told them. moral superiority, or something. having someone to blame, even when you enabled their gossiping in the first place.

[0:35:34] elsbeth: we should give him the most wonderful time! farleigh: good luck, he doesn't smile much. elsbeth: farleigh seems to think he's ghastly. why are you friends with him, darling?

really, you can tell that elsbeth likes farleigh. she respects his opinion to a certain extent. i also talked about the tutor scene in part 2, and how i consider the "style over substance" debate a metaphorical parallel to farleigh over oliver. here, farleigh once again points out the style of oliver's social interactions: he doesn't smile much. when you look at this from a social and... neurotypical perspective, lacking a smile during conversation can mean a lot of negative things. farleigh seems to have a dedicated focus on arbitrary social expectations, largely because he has to.

[0:35:33] farleigh: and here he is now! we were just talking about you. elsbeth: don't be silly! farleigh, you just make up the most awful things. of course we weren't!

once again, in traditional catton fashion, farleigh is scolded for saying doing something that contrasts the cattons saviorism. obviously oliver knew they were talking about them. i can't blame elsbeth for attempting to backtrack, but "farleigh, you just make up the most awful things" is a weirdly unnecessary throat punch. she's stepping on farleigh to appear taller, if you will. at 0:36:34, when elsbeth asks oliver to sit by her, farleigh looks so exceptionally irritated. he rolls his eyes, looks back towards his computer, and sighs dramatically. wonderful. he's so sick and tired.

[0:37:20] elsbeth: i've lost so many friends to addiction. so, so many dear, dear friends. it's the root of poor pamela's horrors too, i'm afraid. farleigh: and the only interesting thing about her. elsbeth: farleigh! no, she is rather dull, actually. but she's so beautiful. you have to admit, she's very beautiful.

elsbeth and her obsession with physical appearances. once again, style over substance. and her outrage at farleigh refusing to soften the blow on his statements, before following it with her own (albeit less crude) dig at pamela. style over substance. wouldn't it a little uncanny, a little scary, to be the only person of color in a household that places physical appearance on such a high pedestal? especially a household as ignorant as the cattons. that's just conjecture, though. oliver has the ability to manipulate a space for himself in the family without sacrificing any of the qualities he began with. he never really smiles more, throughout the summer. he never really loses his signature awkwardness, his imposing energy.

[0:40:05] elsbeth: you know we're delighted to have you for however long it is you mean to stay. farleigh: forever...? pamela: oh, no. i think i might have, erm, found somewhere. elsbeth: oh, well done, darling! james: oh, good!

right after james says "good," you can see farleigh turning to look at him. prompting james to drop the hatchet on pamela's prolonged stay at saltburn, i'm assumng. this is what's interesting to me, i think. again, farleigh lacks the drive to play the same game as oliver. farleigh doesn't want to nurture the charitable actions of the cattons. farleigh believes the other guests at saltburn take up the space that he would otherwise fill. just like at oxford, when felix is sitting with someone else, farleigh is discarded. when elsbeth invited oliver to sit next to her, farleigh looks annoyed. the cattons capacity for attention and kindness is depressingly small. farleigh isn't playing chess, he's trying to win by sheer survival of the fittest.

for the next few, brief scene of farleigh and oliver interacting, oliver repeatedly proves that he does his research. i can't get over it, to be honest. neither can farleigh; if looks could kill, oliver would've been dead within 10 minutes of arriving at saltburn. the methods farleigh and oliver uses to remain relevant in the catton catalogue are so wildly different. farleigh, who uses his personality and social skills to keep the cattons entertained and charmed by him. i'm sure he loves to gossip with elsbeth, wine and dines with venetia, and he clearly does everything in his power to stay glued to felix's side throughout the school year. this is someone who has never considered manipulating the cattons; he just wants to be one of them, and he wants it to be easy. can you blame him?

[real-slime-shady]

imagine Superbad for trans people

[davendickrider]

This is an elaboration on my original mbav Superbad post. Like upon rewatch, it’s so them. Imagining Ethan and Benny going on misadventures for the goal of getting the girls to like them and then Rory is just off on his own insane thing. Superbad is like an aged up raunchy non-supernatural mbav episode prove me wrong.

[fish-bowl-2]

No, because actually, I am rewatching clips from Superbad, and it is almost exactly how I would imagine high school Ed Edd n Eddy would be like.

[ieatwhatikill]

my intro kek

My name is madi but call me whatever i fucking guess

17/female

usa (midwest)

Im in edgelord communities (tcc, sh/988, anything i engage with i suppose)

movies: clockwork orange, superbad, donnie darko, basketball diaries, american psycho, silence of the lambs, etc.

shows: breaking bad, bcs, etc.

music: boards of canada, king crimson, sagan hawkes, the smiths, imagine drowning, the caretaker... etc. etc.

I need friends... bad. If you find me even mildly interesting hmu

[bisluthq]

Genuine question - why do you think we don't have movies like ''Superbad'' and ''Napoleon Dynamite'' anymore? I just mean comedies that make a boom in the B.O. and in pop culture? I don't buy that it's because of ''cancel culture'' in the slightest

blockers was like that? It was a few years ago but it was like that if I recall correctly. Old Dads wasn’t a high school thing but it was tone wise kinda like that. Also obviously Booksmart. I haven’t watched Incoming but I’d imagine it’s kinda like that. There absolutely are silly irreverent comedies being made.

[earth4angels]

I feel like Jace is the type to pull a Mclovin in the movie Superbad when he loses his virginity

Like he will say or think “Oh my god, it’s in” when he first enters you like he is so shook and in love with you that he cannot believe that he is inside you

MCLOVIN?:!::) i’m crying bc i cannot take that character seriously lmao

but so real on the virginity part, jace is just in awe that the feeling of being so close to you is something so raw and beautiful? he never imagined being connected to you is like touching the stars, he would shudder, lose his breath, take large gasps of air bc it’s like you knocked him out of his ass. he feels whole, full, but empty at the same time, all thoughts empty bc he’s focused on how it feels inside of you, and how you hold him as you grasp his hair, his name falling out of your lips in a silent whisper. (sorry i’m in my feelings & love writing about jace)

[oxyfilmidentity-fa23]

The To Do List: Sex Comedy in a Woman's Perspective

By: Eliana Joftus. Genre Gender Excess panel presentation

The To Do List (2013) centers on a recent high school grad Brandy Klark (played by Aubrey Plaza) who wants to lose her virginity before going to college. In order to make this goal happen, she makes a “to-do list” of all the sexual acts she wants to engage in. The To Do List is the epitome of a sex-comedy similar to popular American films like American Pie or Superbad, but it also parodies the genre. Most of Brandy’s sexual experiences turn out to be awkward or disappointing, and her strong and dorky personality only adds to the situational humor. 

In Linda Williams’ article Film Bodies: Gender, Genre and Excess, she writes about sex and bodies in film, and how gendered filmmaking affects how we view female roles in films. The To Do List, directed by a woman (Maggie Carey), actually combats a lot of the problems of female roles in comedy movies. The movie is a sex comedy, so most of the sexual acts end in some sort of humor. William writes in her article that physical clown comedy is a form of body genre, but “it has not been deemed gratuitously excessive” because impressionable audiences don’t feel like they have to mimic the characters’ actions. This means that in some “body genres,” or films where they show sex or human bodies, there is some human desire for audiences to mimic what they see on screen (for example: trying to mimic a scene from a “sexy” movie). But, when the sexual acts become undesirable (for example: in one scene Brandy performs oral sex on a man in the shower but then gets his hairdye in her mouth), it destigmatizes the sexual acts and makes them something relatable and funny instead of a desirable intimate moment.

Ice-breaking question: Can you think of physical clown comedies or sex comedies that oppress the female body or look at the female body from a male gaze?

Williams writes, “the image of a sexually ecstatic woman [is] so important to the [pornography] genre [because it] is a celebration of female victimization and a prelude to female victimization in real life.” In The To Do List, a woman with a sexual desire is an empowered woman. While her quest does begin with feeling left out from being inexperienced, her ultimate journey helps her realize that sexual acts don’t make her any more or less of a woman. In an interview with writer/director Maggie Carey, she said that she wanted to make a movie about sex from a girl’s perspective, showing that sex can be fun but also very confusing and uncomfortable for a teenage girl. She said she drew on her own and her friends’ experiences as young girls because she wanted to represent this common experience. 

More Questions:

Would you consider a film like this to be “feminist”? (keep in mind everyone has a different definition of feminism!)

Do you think Carey making “sex” part of the humor of the film destigmatized it? 

 Do you think showcasing casual female sexuality in film is empowering or the opposite?

Another interesting thing about the movie is she doesn’t really sexualize any characters. When sexual acts occur in the film, a lot is left up to the imagination and barely any nudity is shown. Do you think this actually is helpful?

[mclovinid]

"McLovin" is a fictional character and the iconic pseudonym used by Fogell, portrayed by actor Christopher Mintz-Plasse, in the 2007 comedy film "Superbad." In the movie, Fogell obtains a fake ID with the name "McLovin" to buy alcohol for a party. The humor and popularity of the McLovin ID have transcended the film itself, becoming a cultural phenomenon.

The McLovin ID features a comically simple design with a photo of Fogell, the name "McLovin," and the birthdate listed as simply "June 3, 1981." The absurdity of the ID adds to its charm, and the character's deadpan delivery of his chosen moniker has made it a memorable and oft-quoted moment in the film.

The McLovin ID has since gained recognition beyond the movie, becoming a popular meme and reference in popular culture. Fans of "Superbad" often use the McLovin ID as a humorous symbol of rebellious or carefree behavior, and it has even inspired real-life replicas.

Despite being a fictional and obviously fake identification, the McLovin ID has captured the imagination of audiences, demonstrating the impact a well-crafted comedic moment can have on popular culture. It serves as a reminder of the lasting influence of certain films and how specific scenes or characters can take on a life of their own in the collective memory of fans.

[rockerfemme]

Imagine trying to watch Superbad solely because you keep seeing people referencing the mclovin joke and then finding out it’s about 2 boys trying to commit date rape

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins "Bottoms"

Are you ready for this movie review? Get ready because it starts rough and never stops getting rougher. This is a review I was dreading because it seems to have marketed itself as a cringe fag fest and the first 10 seconds of the movie didn't disappoint, I already hate it and I already have so many complaints. The movie opens on two women discussing "getting puss." You don't know these characters, you know nothing about them not their personalities, their interests their values, not even their names…but you do know about their sex lives. Not only have they prioritized their sex lives over every single other aspect of who they are, making this a degenerate starting point…but it's disorienting from a story standpoint. Why do I care about this character…what do I call this character…give me some setting, some backdrop…anything. Porn starts with more story and less focus on sex than this.

I can tell already this is going to be a constant violater of the classic "show don't tell" advice because the dialogue is atrocious. Lines like "Im in a little suit like the lesbian I am" make you reject the idea that these are even people talking…all I can see is script writers, cameramen, and a director, it does the opposite of making me forget I'm watching a movie…it makes me painfully aware of it and I don't buy it as a genuine human interaction. This is dialogue that can only be the work of a broken illiterate persons imagination or an algorithmic writing program. It's like someone asked chatgpt to write superbad but gay and without any humour or reason. Tell me this doesn't sound like a robot attempting humour... "I bet you could eat food, digest it, let it marinate and poop it out." I'm not making that up or being hyperbolic that is word for word actual dialogue from this awful fucking piece of shit horrorfest of a movie.

Although I will give them credit for one interaction where they acknowledge that some or even all of the bullying and hate they get doesn't come from being gay but from being "ugly and untalented" and show an example of a popular gay dude being widely accepted. But yeah a premise of the movie is that the people are hard to look at on purpose. Finally some acknowledgment that physical appearance plays a much greater role in bullying and acceptance than any minority or special interest status ever did.

One final point in this movies favour is presenting a completely accurate depiction of how cringe and gameless most lesbians are. The moment a woman tries to pickup other women they grow a fedora and a neckbeard and start spilling spaghetti out of their pockets. It's a reluctant point because it also makes the movie incredibly hard to watch for a whole new reason.

I have to talk about the black characters rant early on in the movie, I call her that because again I have no idea who anyone is or what to call them because who they are has taken a massive backseat to who they want to fuck. She goes on this explosive insane rant and there are so many things wrong with it I don't even know where to begin. It comes out of nowhere for one, it makes no sense, she talks about hanging up her vagina…but then her idea of hanging it up is having sex with someone else…I only know it's a guy because I was able to rewind 3 times and listen back to what she was saying. She introduces a character in the dumbest way imagineable. Imagine the first time you get introduced to a character is in a mumbly lightning fast rant about their sex life. If you slow it down and piece it together you learn she's introducing a religious character who is a friend of hers and a closeted homo. See I thought homosexuality was supposed to be two people of the same sex hooking up but she seems to think that because she can't get women and he's closetted it means they would of course be a good default couple.

The rant is also grossly blasphemous and not even just to Christians. I can't explain how bad this is you just have to hear it. "Because he's gay and fearless he's probably going to fuck me without protection, I'm gonna get pregnant, we'll have to join a church and he'll probably be the gay pastor." What the fuck is she talking about, why would a gay man be fucking her…how is she so certain he would fuck her without protection and why is she saying it like she would have no say in the matter? Why would her getting pregnant mean they would have to join a church…why would he then be the pastor of the church? You already established he was gay so why do you have to specify he'd be a gay pastor? None of this makes any sense, every sentence deviates further fom rationality than the last and every line brings with it new unanswered questions. Then it ends with her screaming "the deacons fucking the evangelist" over and over and crying. My headache has a headache. Gay people have to pray people do not watch this movie because "homophobia" will skyrocket if they do.

The movie also has some of the most unbelievable and wooden dialogue I've ever heard in my life. Nobody in the history of planet earth has ever spoken or behaved the way the people in this movie do. It's almost like to make up for the fact that it's a comedy with no jokes or humour at all they try to just exaggerate every interaction and then do it very big with overacting and overreacting. For example a football player is insisting he did nothing wrong by groping an older woman in front of his girlfriend….already a ridiculous caricature of straight men, then he tries to stop her from leaving in her friends car where they gently bump into him with the car and he explodes into hysterics like he's been gievously injured…and the entire football teams comes running to help and fawn over him like he's a gunshot victim. As I write this I figured out what this movie is and why every moment of it feels so cringe and wrong…every interaction is like a fake tumblr story, from the start it had "the whole bus clapped" vibes. Like when the principle summons the main characters to his office by getting on the intercom and announcing to the whole school "can the ugly untalented gays please come to my office." You know the saying it's funny because it's true…it goes the other way…this is not funny because it has no truth in it whatsoever. Every second of this movie is false, every line, every action, every shot…just rings of untruth and fabrication. This movie is the comedy equivalent of a real doll. It has all the same parts all the limbs are where they belong…but they are not real…there's a hollow soullessness to it, a feeling of plastic wrongness.

I said before it's like someone prompted chat gpt but it gets worse and more likely AI written the more you watch. It's like they said to combine superbad and fightclub but make it sound like it was written by tumblr and one of the criteria was that it had to be lesbians and it had to be pure unfiltered cancer.

By the way as of this point in the review I've only watched 9 minutes of this horrific piece of dogshit. This is going to be without a doubt the worst movie I've ever watched every sentence of it pisses me off. Every moment is a new thing to piss you off, this is a weapons grade bad movie…like it was made in a lab to cause frustration and braincunting. Just when you're relieved they stopped arguing over which one of them is faggot #1 and which one is faggot #2 the one asks the other if she "perioded herself." Then there is a completely unexplained "joke" where one of the students claims her vagina is owned by the government and as the viewer you're left with again so many questions…why was that supposed to be a joke? what does it mean? And please can I have at least a ten second break from incoherence and cringe?

Then in another "that happened" moment the football guy from earlier comes into class…in his full gear…because to whoever made this movie it's just a costume and football players are not people outside of playing football. He then smashes a glass and threatens her with it by mimicking dragging the glass across his throat…and the teachers response is "hey man you couldn't make that analogy with your fist?" And again so many things wrong all at once. Why is the teacher not punishing him for smashing school property and then threatening another student? Why does a teacher not understand the difference between an analogy and a gesture? Again these little details are part of why I'm starting to seriously believe my this shit is all being written by algorithms theory. It's like nobody even bothered to edit the script. It's full of lines that make no sense, jokes that have no setup or no punchline…just the cadence of a joke.

If I go in depth into everything wrong with this movie I'll literally…not figuratively have to examine every single line, because at least for the start of this movie there is not one line that is not absolutely mind numbingly retarded and frustrating. And every line has multiple things wrong with it. Listen to some of this shit…

"How come you can't buck up and learn to protect yourselves without running somebody over."

"You can beat the shit out of each other while you perform the vagina monologues,just stay in your lane until you're munching beaver at weslyan."

By the way those two lines are how the concept of them starting a fight club comes up, it's so abrupt, so out of nowhere and so retardly nonsensical…it doesn't follow at all. The entire premise of the movie hinges on a throwaway line that makes no sense. The only reason they bumped into a guy with their car was he was threatening them and preventing them from leaving because they were offering a ride to his ex girlfriend. They took this to mean we as gay people need to learn self defense…already a leap in logic because nobody was attacking them and certainly not because they were gay. Then they accept their principles notion that they shouldn't use anything to defend themselves with, a retarded idea that nobody even bothered to attempt to explain or defend…and they just accept that they can't or shouldn't use whatever means they have available to defend themselves and instead have to learn hand to hand combat…another stretch. And then decide that the best way to do this is to start a fight club with other gays where they all just beat each other up. And they do this because the principle suggested it for no reason while insulting them. And by the way I'm explaining this all way better and more clearly than the movie does, the movie is just a string of incoherent sentences that form some idea of a patchwork of a plot I'm just trying to make sense of the nonsense. This plot is not the work of an intelligence at all…nevermind a low intelligence.

I really can't finish this movie,this is normally the amount of rage and content I have after a full 2 hour movie but im only at 14 minutes here. It's not even that the writing is so atrocious, the timing, the delivery…the acting is just the worst I've ever seen. I've sat through some horrifically bad movies over the years for these reviews I've sat through countless movies and shows that I grade as F-and yet never once did I say ok I can't watch this anymore…I've always finished it. I've watched woke black sitcoms, Rian Johnson movies, femsploitation reboots and yet this is the first time I've ever had to say no I can't finish this it's too awful. This movie is without a single doubt in my mind the worse movie ever made. It has ruined my grading curve because I need a grade so much lower than an F- and it just doesn't exist. Is Z- minus a thing? If in theory that is 20 grades lower than a fail that's what I give this movie. May God have mercy on us all.

[satelitis]

dead poets society — the last thirty minutes killed me. the undertones and quotes are just so beautiful and it just makes the end of the film all the more melancholic.

mother! — i could never imagine what this film felt like to film, it’s so compelling and visually horrifying. jennifer lawrence did such an amazing job, home invasion has never been so terrifying.

robin williams — dead poets society, jack, night at the museum, mrs doubtfire, goodwill hunting, popeye, flubber, jumanji, good morning vietnam

napoleon dynamite — it’s just such a comfort film for me and it never gets old, the comedy, the dialogue, just everything.

the babadook — i was six years old and i remember hiding behind the door watching it because my brother and dad were watching it in the living room and i wasn’t allowed too, loved it ever since.

human centipede — it was a waste of time and wierd asl.

the conjuring series — this isn’t a “sequel” per say but it is a movie that i’m so upset that got taken off of production aka the crooked man which got green lit for production but didn’t make it far — i REALLY wanted to see that movie develop but unfortunately it didn’t.

just kids by patti smith — it would be a WONDERFUL biopic of the earli-ish life of patti smith and her dynamic with robert, given her permission to make the film

saltburn — HEAR ME OUT! this movie is gorgeous from the soundtrack to the dialogue to the menaurisms to the color pallette, fonts EVERYTHING this movie is so aesthetic and just BEAUTIFUL.

wes anderson &. ari aster — they’re films are just utterly magical and beautiful everything from the dialogue to the layout to the production and the characters is SO just BEAUTIFUL

horror & indie/coming of age — those movies are just so amazing and resonate so beautifully

it (2017) — my stepdad made me watch it when i was 8 and i’ve literally loved horror and stephen king and all of that since then

SUPERBAD!!!! — i watched it on a road trip and it was SO funny and I LOVED IT, michael cera & jonah hill are the best comedic duo and i LIVED for this film

take on me (aha) — LIKE????? a girl falls in love with a man in a drawing??? this could go SO many ways!!!

batman (2022) , avatar , raiders of the lost ark — i just didn’t enjoy these films as much as the next person and that’s okay.

meet the robinsons — a lot of my friends and family hate this movie 😓 but i have it 5 stars and a heart on letterboxd

the mamma mia cu — no explanation needed, i would die to live in greece and sing abba all day long

TICK TICK BOOM!!!!!! — I LITERALLY LOVE TICK TICK BOOM, ANDREW GARFIELD, JMM, VANESSA HUDGENS AND ALEXANDRA SHIP DID AN EXCELLENT JOB🤗

both — some mainstreams over overhyped but a lot of them are my comfort movies but indie movies are so pretty and creative

old movies — they shaped how film has developed over several generations and it’s quite magical to see

i could easily easily say pitch perfect or a disney movie or a movie musical or musical biopic butttt like legitimate soundtrack im gonna have to go with fantastic mr fox

FILM ASK GAME

What’s the most depressing movie you’ve ever watched?

What’s the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched?

An actor/actress you’ve seen in more than 8 movies? Name the movies.

A film you could watch on repeat for the rest of your life?

What’s the very first film you remember watching?

A film you wish you hadn’t watched?

A film you wish had a sequel?

Which book would you like to see adapted into a film?

The most aesthetically pleasing movie you’ve ever watched?

What’s your favourite movie director?

Your favourite movie genre?

A movie that holds a special place in your heart?

Your favourite comedy film?

A music video you would love to see developed into a film?

A film everyone loves but you hate?

A film you love but everyone else hates?

Which cinematic universe would you like to live in?

What’s your favourite biopic?

Mainstream movies or indie movies?

Old movies or contemporary movies?

A film with an amazing soundtrack?