#Stupid De’aths

[battybumboy]

Stupid De’aths

Doctor De’ath x Death

A ship I made on my main account. I needed fan fiction about it.(This is mostly just a crack fic for me to reblog to my main to self promote but oh well) I’m weird so sorry if this is a mess.Dont judge lmao.

Summary:

Two dead guys give each other the eyes across a coffee shop and Death is obviously a bottom.

Death had found himself in a situation he was unfamiliar with. The feeling he was currently experiencing was one he hadn’t felt in years. The dead weren’t meant to feel things... right?

He had been wandering through the afterlife and had entered a coffee shop- as you do. What he didn’t expect to happen was to see the most beautiful being he had ever seen sitting on a table across the coffee shop.

He sighed, ‘Does the author know the coffee shop setting is very unoriginal? I guess they’re just lazy’ he thought before going to the counter and ordering a cup of tea.

Across the shop, a reaper by the name of Doctor De’ath sat with his friend and sipped his coffee. He had seen the other being enter the coffee shop and was now gossiping to his best friend, and right hand man, Doctor Do’om about him.

“Did you see that lad who just entered?” He questioned quietly,

“You mean the one off the telly?”

“Well he was the one that just entered, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, I know. Keep your cloak on!” Dr Do’om exclaimed, just quietly enough for the conversation to go unheard by their fellow dead people and coffee shop goers, and smiled jokingly, “Well?”

“Oh yeah, anyway, he’s well fit, isn’t he?!” Dr De’ath whispered to his companion excitedly,

“Oi oi, saveloy! De’ath. I don’t know how to tell you this mate, but he’s probably a player .”

“You think so?”

“I know so. He’s full of himself and he isn’t worth your time. You’re wayyy out of his league!”

“But I think he’s cute.”

“I’m not judging.” The two chuckled and continued sipping their coffee.

Back to Death who was now sitting at his table with his tea, occasionally glancing in the direction of the other reaper, ‘I’d let them step on me.’ He thought before looking back at his slowly emptying teacup in shame at the impurity of his thoughts.

He drunk more of his tea before looking back up at the new person he fancies to see them looking back at him. His heart skipped a beat as he looked down and away from the piercing grey eyes of the being across the shop.

Death felt more flustered than he ever had in his life and kept his eyes locked on the, suddenly, very interesting looking cup of tea before him.

The two across the shop looked to one another, De’ath raising a brow, “Why’s he acting weird?”

“I bet he has the hots for you. As I said, you’re out of his league.”

“Yeah, but he’s hot.”

“No ones stopping you from getting his number.”

“I’ll wait. I’ll probably never see him again and if I do, THEN will I will give him my number.”

“Why wait?”

“Do you want me to date him because I swear five seconds ago you claimed he was a player.”

“Sorry. Look, you can date who you want. Don’t listen to me.”

“I’ll always listen to you. Pals before gals, mates before dates, put your friends that stick before some random dic-”

“Stop! Ok! I get the point...” he paused before grinning, “Thank you.”

Death couldn’t stop thinking about the mysterious person and their breathtaking face with their hypnotic eyes and their-‘oh god, pull yourself together, Death.’ -case in point.

‘What if they don’t like me?’ was the thought that plagued him the most. He knew that his show wasn’t everyone’s bucket of tea and he worried that on this occasion it might stop him from getting to know this handsome stranger. ‘Play it cool, Death. Play it cool.” He recited in his head.

He gulped the rest of his tea and looked back to where he last saw the person, but they were already gone. Disappointed, he stood up and got ready to walk out of the café to get back to work.

“I’m going to play this smooth.” De’ath said, once outside of the building. He had finally decided that he was going to try to date Death.

“What’s the plan?” Dr Do’om asked as he grinned at his long time friend,

“You’ll see.” He chuckled before putting his plan into action.

Death stepped outside, hoping he’d be able to see this new person again. He’d hate to miss the opportunity to get with someone so handsome.

As he was walking, thinking and not looking where he was going, he crashed into a person slightly taller than him and fell to the floor.

Instead of apologising like a normal person would, Death furrowed his brows, getting on his knees ready to stand up as he looked up at the person who had gotten in his way.

His breath hitched as he was paralyzed by gay panic... as you’ve guessed, it was the cute guy from the coffee shop who was looking down at him. His gay panic increased when he realized the position they were in. (With Death unintentionally kneeling in front of the stranger.)

“I’m sorry, dude, I wasn’t looking. I’m Doctor De’ath.” He spoke. Death shivered at how intimidating, yet playful the Doctor De’ath’s voice was, the new feeling increasing.

“Uh-“ his voice broke, “h-hi.”

“Yep. Hiya.”

Death coughed before wheezing out another sentence, “This is dead awkward.” The person chuckled at that. Oh how he loved that sound.

“Might want to stand up... though I must say how you look better on your knees”

That’s it. Death was so sure he was going to combust, he could feel it in his bones. Suddenly, a force picked him up and helped him to his feet. (The doctor was surprisingly stronger than he looked) A hand was outstretched before him and he took it. Death looked up at Doctor De’ath before finally speaking again,

“I’m Death.”

“Oh I know.” He spoke softly before kissing the back of Deaths hand, “Call me.” he said before twirling him around and wondering off into the crowd followed by his mate.

He was confused about why the person had just wondered off like that before looking at the palm of the kissed hand that fizzled with a phantom electricity where the reaper had graced his bony hand with his lips. There in his palm was a piece of paper with a number and a little sentence at the bottom written in beautiful hand writing that read,

‘All you need to do is call and the Doctor will see you. ;)’

“That smooth bast-”

“That was incredibly well done, very smooth.”

“I know.” De’ath chuckled as they continued walking away from the bewildered reaper.

[unusual-ly]

Fail, serious, real, or sound? 😏

WOW I wonder why these words look SO FAMILIAR

Fail:

[Zach Limelight] “Another failure, obviously,” Zach shrugged and pulled a face, but other than that, he didn’t seem all that upset.

[TM] It’s no surprise he failed, but the outcome was entirely unexpected.

They got so caught up in it, though, that neither of them noticed the door opening again until they heard Zach’s voice, trying and failing to suppress a laugh, and they jumped apart.

Al bit his lip as he tried, and failed, not to cry again.

Serious:

[Zach Limelight]Zach had sharply turned away and started fiddling with his Z-band the second Diaz was mentioned, “Because...!” he trailed off, then muttered, “... I’m serious about Diaz...”Now Al was squinting, completely lost, “... You’re serious about Diaz... so you’re hitting on people... who... aren’t Diaz...?”

“You seriously aren’t even gonna try?” Zephyr just laughed.

[Diaz Limelight] He kept insisting that he could never be in a real relationship; he wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes from wandering, he didn’t take people’s feelings seriously, and he never genuinely liked anyone he flirted with anyway.

“Look, I get it, OK?” Diaz snapped when he had once again insisted that Zach wasn’t worth it, “He’s not interested, he’s not serious, but do you have to be so...” he trailed off, searching for the right word, “... Mean about it?”

[TM] “Whatever it is, it seriously freaked him out.”

“It’s alright,” he said, holding up his hands, “I shoulda told you I wasn’t coming home but... it got really serious. He needed me to stay with him.”Rizzo’s eyes bulged and she leaned closer, whispering, “How serious?”

The zombie turned deadly serious, “You don’t have to be.”

Real:

[Zach Limelight] “Using other people as a distraction!” they hissed, “If you’re so desperate to get a date, why waste your time on people you don’t really care about?”

“You still haven’t actually talked to him for real.”

[Diaz Limelight] . Plus, if he could call people like Zane Nao and Denzel De’Ath his friends, how bad could he really be?

[TM] The smell of artificial brain flavouring, while not exactly like the real thing, almost overwhelmed him.

“Like real, honest-to-Z zombie feral?”

“I am never touching brains, in any form, real or fake, ever again,” Al said firmly, though his voice was shaking, “As long as I have any say in it.”

“Do you really need brains that much?”

There was silence for a moment, Alonzo staring at his ********** as he wondered if any of this was real.

“If they already hate you for protecting Zephka, why not give them a real reason to hate you?”

"That doesn’t make me any less real.”

But he felt like he had to face it – he had to say it out loud and accept it, “He wants the real thing.”

“I know I’m being stupid, I know it can’t be real but... I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Sound:

[Diaz Limelight] When they passed by his friends’ table in the cafeteria, he couldn’t help looking up at the sound of Zach’s voice.

“No!” that didn’t sound convincing, “Just... you know, if it did happen.”

[TM]Zach slowly crouched down in front of him, “Al, it’s OK,” he tried to sound calm, “It was one little slip-”

Al dropped his head again, “It sounds so stupid now...” his voice cracked.

Zephyr’s sour expression immediately softened at the sound.

“We’d like to know, too,” the twins both looked up at the sound of their mother’s stern tone from the kitchen table.

Just when it looked like he might actually be settling down, Alonzo was awoken by an unexpected sound.

“I mean, I already did...” Al’s voice sounded so small, and so scared, but all Zephyr could do was stare at him, “We thought we were getting through this but it’s obviously not working.” 

Zephyr’s slow but heavy breathing was the only sound as he stared at his boyfriend, silently praying that he was getting through to him.