#Stop with the same two Electronic songs there are SO MANY OTHERS

[mooseyspooky]

If I see Johnny outside the Fillmore in October and beg him to do a tour with Bernard do you think he'd do it

[soothinglee]

slow train | tao xu x reader

summary: you see a handsome stranger at the train station, seems like you knew a little more about him than you thought. first feelings are- different. do you like mr. unknown?

warnings: none.

authors note: in this fiction we are pretending like elle and tao are not a thing. we still love them but for the purpose of this we do not. at first i had written half of this and still didn't have a character in mind and then i realized i haven't written for heartstopper. how heartbreaking. also maybe a little out of character, first time writing for this character.

inspiration: the wonderful sebastian crofts song; "slow train to nowhere."

pairing: tao xu x reader (no pronouns specified. though reader is mentioned to go to higgs.)

masterlist | part two

line 141 has got be written down as the slowest train in history. the electronic board above the waiting station said that the train would arrive around 2:47, though when you look at your watch its five minutes till 3 o'clock.

feeling a little antsy, you brush back the fly away, trying to calm down your jittery legs. the crowd around you grows as the seconds pass, all radiating the same aura as you, impatience. one person in particular stands out to you the most, a soft brown knitted vest adorned his white long-sleeve blouse, matched with tan colored trousers. he looked well fit, a handsome young man, and as you continue to watch him it seems as though he's looking right back you.

underneath the cream fluorescent lightening the hue of his cheeks change a flamingo shade, and right when your eyes meet his gaze is adverted. he looks nervous.

"cute." you whisper to no one but yourself, the old lady next to you glances in your direction with a shy smile. hopefully, she did not think you were flirting with her.

taking a quick peek at the man again you can't help but feel fuzzy. you have no clue who he is, nor ever spoken to him but something about him makes you feel-lightheaded. what a concerning reaction. he's intriguing to say the least, the way he too checks his watch as the time finally hits 3, or how his fingers hover over his hair when he goes to brush it but then ultimately brings it to his side. you want to know more. but he is a random stranger waiting for line 141 and who knows how dangerous of a person he could be.

but that doesn't stop you.

right as you muster up that courage to walk his way the faint hiss of the train tracks stop you as a gust of wind tips you backwards. just your luck, the train finally arrived.

in the commotion of everyone trying to make it onto the transport before it leaves you loose sight of stranger. the people blocking your views as you make your way onto the train to find a seat, many people go onto other cars leaving just you and a few others in the cart alone. what a waste.

as you make yourself comfortable you can't help but notice a melodic voice pull you out of your thoughts. it starts with the shoes, then the shirt and finally a young man stands before you, wringing his wrists together in a nervous manner. a timid smile etches its way onto his face and it's one of those where you can't help but smile back.

though remember, stranger danger.

"hello, d'you think i could sit here?" giving him a once over, he looks harmless, thin, lean gentlemen with great hair. really great hair.

your lips form to make a sentence but nothing comes out and suddenly-comically, your mouth is dry. that has to be the most embarrassing reaction because the man laughs. it was quiet but very pleasing to hear.

"i, you, yeah- go right ahead, there's enough room for the both of us." you respond to him with an awkward grin that probably came out more like a grimace then you had hoped for. god, why was it so hard being normal when a cute guy deliberately goes out of his way to talk to you. normally, the red flags would be shaming you but in the comfort of his presence, the tint fades green.

a moment passes between you both, and from the corner of your eye you see a pleased smile rest upon his face. "y'know," he starts and almost immediately you give him your attention. you might've caught him off guard by the forcefulness of it but he doesn't seem too bothered. "I saw you waiting for the train and for whatever reason you caught my eye. I wanted so badly to say something but my nerves got in the way." he laughs again, god that laugh. "I was beating myself up for it, thought that I let you get away, but, when I saw you from the other cart I thought, this is my chance."

you turn your gaze away from him bashfully, "well i'm glad you took it." you utter softly.

his grin grows, "i'm glad too, you seem like a nice person."

"i'd hope so, i was scared that you took me looking at you as intimidation."

he gasps playfully, resting his hand on his chest. "no, never! I hoped that you wouldn't think i was some creep checking you out." he admits faintly, but then is quick to add, "not that i was checking you out! because that's weird, and disrespectful, and- oh my god i'm making this worse." he covers his face with hands, and hunches over, trying to cave in on himself.

a loud bark of a laugh escapes you and cover your mouth with a hand, trying to suppress the giggles. though it's no use, the blush on the mans cheeks grows down towards his neck, his whole upper half is pink.

"don't worry," you reassure, placing a hand on his shoulder, "i didn't take that in a nasty way, you're okay."

the gentlemen takes a deep breath and sits back up, the color subsiding. the look in his eye is indescribable. the fuzzy feeling from earlier returns and it's hard to ignore. are you catching feelings for a guy you don't even know? seems like it.

as the conversation progresses you start to learn more about the man. firstly, his name is tao, and being on a first name bases doesn't classify you as "strangers" anymore, it brings a new-found hope. he lives with his mom, loves flims, hanging out with his friends and goes to an all boys school.

when asked what the name he is hesitant, of course, but gives the name quickly. upon hearing it you gasp;

"I go to Higgs! who knew we were closer than we thought!" at this point you are full on beaming, your whole body and posture screams he has all your attention. he nods his head happily.

for a second he pauses with an eyebrow raised, "do you by chance know a girl named elle? she transferred there last year, friends with tara, darcy, and sahar?"

hearing the names sparks a familiarity and you wiggle in your seat. "how could i not! i sit next to elle in homeroom and eat lunch with all four of them! 'known tara and darcy since gradeschool!"

he laughs loudly at the information, "this is crazy! the four of them are apart of my friend group. what a coincidence."

as you go to speak the lady on the overhead announces that the stop is coming up. tao looks towards the door and sees the next station start to slow down in the window. a pitiful sigh leaves his lips.

"your stop?" you inquire sadly, upset to see him leave. your stop isn't for another ten minutes. the rate this train moves is ridiculous.

tao nods his head slowly, trying to move as slow as possible when getting up, as the train lets out a rhythmical chime- the doors open and the people who once sat around you flood on onto the pathway, "it was really nice to meet you," he says, bringing your attention to him once more. something in his eyes shifts in the way he looks at you and you can't help but feel small under his gaze, in a good way. "i'll make sure to seat you next to me on my wedding day." the words were muttered so quietly that you had to strain to hear him, yet you did, and ghost of a smile hushes you as you watch him exit the train doors, joining the others on the other side.

"see you soon?" you hope, wondering if this would be the last time you would see him even though he's a five minute walk from your school.

his voice is airy and the way he holds himself is sincere. he pauses and then nods your way, "of course."

that was the most enjoyment you had in a long time- sad to say, it was fun until he had got off the train.

[theoceanofasanoya]

day 4 of asanoya: jukebox (tags: pre-relationship, meet-cute, fluff)

The bar is kind of cosy. There’s a live jazz band playing something slow, several couples on the dance floor swaying to the music.

There are distinct areas that Asahi notices as he walks further into the room. Towards the backside of the large hall is the bar with neon signs that hurt Asahi’s eyes. The left side of the room has more tables with beige tablecloth, and the least number of people. The right side is the ‘dance’ floor, and pushed against the wall is the band’s stage. It’s actually just several upside down crates with a thin wooden board placed on top of it.

“Look, they even have a jukebox,” Suga says, nodding in the direction. Asahi follows his gaze and sure enough, next to the band is a jukebox. “I wonder if it works.”

Daichi sits next to Suga. Asahi doesn’t have to peek to know they’re holding hands under the table. Like teenagers. “They make the insides electronic these days, so maybe it does.”

“Let’s check it out, Asahi.” Suga stands up, excited. He ends up showcasing their entwined fingers, and Asahi grumbles. They always do this. They promise they won’t be lovey-dovey in front of him, and forget all about it. Suga grins, sheepish. “Sorry.”

“No, you guys shouldn’t apologise for being yourselves,” Asahi says, rolling his eyes. “Holding hands is fine. Just. Don’t strand me and make out in a corner like the last time, okay?”

“Of course not, Asahi,” Daichi says, his voice all serious. For a long moment, Asahi believes him. But he said the same thing last time and left Asahi anyway. It’s now his fault if these two lovebirds leave him - he needs to stop falling for their trap of ‘let’s hangout as friends for old time’s sake.’

“I’m going to check it out,” Asahi declares. He doesn’t care about the box, but he knows it’ll kill Suga to not go there first. And judging by the look on Daichi’s face, he’ll whine and pout but stay in his seat. Asahi grins as he stands up and Suga sits down. “I’ll report it’s conditions to you.”

“Okay,” Suga says, frowning.

The jukebox is electronic like Daichi guessed. Asahi squats in front of it, reading the little square’s scrolling messages. ‘Start’ is blinking on the screen. Asahi tries the buttons below the screen but they don’t make a difference. He clicks on the letters on the screen. The machine emits a loud coin-slotting noise. Asahi startles, cringes, and looks around.

Nobody is looking at him. He glances at the band, and thankfully they don’t seem to have noticed.

‘CHOOSE AN ERA’ is the next blinking message. Under it are different decades listed. Asahi considers clicking on any of them, just to see if it’ll list out the artists of the time, but he’s worried. What if a song starts playing? That’s so disrespectful to the band that’s playing-

Wait.

The only sound is the saxophone. It’s a sensuous melody, the kind that has several people groping each other on the dance floor. The kind that piques Asahi’s interest more than the electronic jukebox.

He turns towards the band and finds a short man - Asahi gasps - who is turned towards him, a single blonde streak on his hair. He’s looking at Asahi. Shit, shit, shit. Did he disrespect him?

“I’m sorry,” Asahi says quietly, making sure his lips are easier to read. He bows too, for good measure.

The short man’s left cheek lifts, and he shakes his head the slightest. Asahi hopes it translates to ‘don’t worry about it’ because he’ll die of embarrassment right now.

Suddenly, behind him the cello, drums, and piano picks up, and the short man’s saxophone withers up against those. He smirks when he lowers his saxophone, and jumps off the stage.

“So, you’re into jukeboxes?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disrespect you.” Asahi bows deeper, his face all hot. “I was just testing my-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m not offended.” The short man is next to him immediately, his hand on Asahi’s back in a comforting manner. “Not many people show interest in it, that’s all. It’s one of my best investments. It’s great for when I can’t get the band together.”

“Y-you’re the owner?”

Asahi realises a second late that they’re walking towards the bar. The man’s hand stays on his back as he leads him, and stays there when he leans his elbow against the bar counter. “My usual please. What will you like, handsome?”

“U-um,” Asahi sputters, squirms, his toes curling up a little at the nickname. When was the last time he flirted with someone? Gosh. This feels great. “Whiskey on the rocks please.”

The man gestures to the bartender, and then he points towards the band. “I’m the co-owner with the guy on the drums. That’s Tanaka. I’m Nishinoya Yuu.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Asahi says. “I’m Azumane Asahi.”

“Handsome name,” Nishinoya says. He compliments Asahi like he breathes - easy, slow, and with a weird charm. “Have you come here alone?”

“I’m with my friends, over there-” Asahi points at Suga and Daichi across the room, and waves back when they wave at him. “We’re just hanging out.”

“I won’t keep you then.” Nihisnoya grabs his drink - a margarita is his usual - and raises the glass to him. “I want to get to know you more though. Can you meet me before you leave?”

Asahi nods.

“Great. I’ll see you then, handsome.”

[xandermorrisonmusic]

Song of the day: Porter Robinson - Russian Roulette

Genre: Hyperpop, Happy Hardcore

This one is going to be hard to talk about. TW: Self harm, suicide

This song is the only example I can think of where it is too powerful to be added to my regular listening catalogue. I'm serious, if this thing comes up at any point, I'm tearing up at a minimum. It's the best song off of this excellent album, which as a whole is about Porter's awkwardness and missteps as an adult so far in his life. And I respect that, because there's plenty of stories of how awkward teenage years are, but as a 24 year old living an awkward life, I'm glad to see my era represented so closely to what I experienced myself, for better or worse.

Let's rip the bandaid off right now, I've come very close to killing myself. As in, the only thing stopping me from attempting an overdose was my own lack of energy stopping me from getting out of bed. Obviously this isn't one to one with russian roulette, but since it wasn't certainly going to kill me, it felt like the same kind of gamble: the one I wanted to lose.

The pressures Porter describes that lead him to this point are something on a scale I couldn't imagine. He's a superstar producer, one of the biggest names in electronic music, and one that has a track record of consistently putting out very high quality work. He talks about how he feels this pressure throughout this album, including the opener where he basically voices his fear over releasing something his fans don't like and tarnishing a pretty spotless discography, but in this track, he specifically mentions things like Pitchfork calling him "the next big thing" and wanting to make money off of his identity and prestige, which clearly doesn't sit well with him. But feeling that he has no other way out of that situation once he's been entrenched in it, he contemplates playing russian roulette as a means of escape. He also mentions a friend losing his head and not doing anything about it, which may specifically be a nod to the late Avicii. Porter has cited Avicii's death as a wake up call for him (and many others in the scene) to get sober, and while I don't know if they were close friends or not, Porter feels that they were close enough that he should've done something.

So there he is, two verses and two choruses saying how much he wants to die, plus an extra quiet repeat chorus which forces listeners to get uncomfortably intimate with him in what could be his final moments. But then out of that quietness comes instead a list of reasons why he wants to stay alive, at least for a bit longer. The first one is the most impactful to me: "I wanna see my mom one more time." My mom died after a looong battle with cancer a little over a year ago, and I have to say, you often take for granted what you have until it's gone. If I had known how much I miss her now, she would've been at the top of my list too in my darkest hours.

He lists off several things like that. "I wanna kiss my cat one more time" also hits hard since I have two cats, one of which is newer to the house and is sleeping on me as I type this. "I wanna thank my dad one more time." "I wanna play in the snow one more time." "I wanna marry her one more time." And after listing off enough of these, he comes to the realization that he doesn't really want to go through with this, repeating the simple yet VERY powerful "I wanna live, I don't wanna die" over and over into one of the biggest drops on the album, an all out happy hardcore rave of positive energy at the revelation that he does have things to live for.

Cheesy? Maybe. But in the aftermath of the drop, a goofy text to speech voice comes in to address that, saying "Clichés like this are beautiful, because they reflect us, and we are beautiful" (which is punctuated with a pretty funny YAY sound effect that gets cut off abruptly). And the text to speech voice delivers, very clearly and plainly for those who need it, the moral of the story:

Don't kill yourself, you idiot

And some people need to hear that as unambiguously as possible. If I was 17 or 18, I would be one of those people. This song is literally going to save people's lives, I guarantee it. That's the kind of power I can only wish to reflect on the world if I ever get that big as an artist. Go listen to SMILE! :D and let me know what you think! Such a good album.

[monsterfloofs]

I don't know if this recommendation will interest you or if you've already seen it but have you seen the movie Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust?

They have the whole movie in dub and sub on youtube for free and I'm plan to rewatch it again this year.

It following a Dhampir vampire hunter who is commissioned to save a lady named Charlotte from the Vampire Meier Link who seemingly stolen her away. But there is more to it than most people in there world expect due to prejudice.

That's the best I can describe without spoiling it. Now it's a mostly fine movie to get through but I must mention at the final act especially from what I remember there is some blood and gore sprinkled throughout the film but other than that its a great movie. Especially for Halloween. That even me who is a bit squeamish I do really like the movie.

It's really beautifully animated and characters. And it's set in the future but covered in old gothic era elements and aesthetic.

Now you don't have to consider the recommendation but if you're interested it might add to your Halloween.

Sorry for the long ramble but I saw your post about it being hard for you this season and I've been feeling the same lately catching a cold at the cusp of the season. But I'm trying to plan out for a fun day on Halloween with things I like to make it more special.

Here's hoping it ends on a high note for us both and everyone else who needs it! Take care and I wish you all the best and fond wishes!

I have not seen a Vampire D movie! I did listen, to an audio book of the story while I was at work shelving one time. I thought it was a facinating story and did not realize the world building in Vampire D included both electronic marvels and also semi historical things thrown together in a distopian world due to what happened to the human race. It's a fascination mash up between the two and from the snippets of art I have seen it is a very beautiful art style.

Geniunely, truely, from the bottom of my heart, please never feel bad about rambling here! I am a shy bean who has trouble making connections and communicating so getting to talk to others, even in an ask format is a treat to me. I say this with every ounce of sincereity I can muster. Thank you, thank you for taking the time to share something that is precious to you. You have no idea how many times I read this before trying to figure out an equally suitable response.

And I am also going to send you a buck of digital hugs 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 because it sounds like you need them too this season. I am so sorry that spooky month is also not going so well for you. But yes, we shall do our best to reclaim it, and if that means extending it through November and beyond well, I'd like to see people try and stop us! Spooky season is a mindset after all. ^-^ ) Thank you again for sharing a spooky month tradition of yours with me! Watching beloved movies is high on our tradition list too!

I honestly would love to read about what others do to celebrate, what nostalgia things they like to do, what movies they dust off and rewatch every year like a ritual. Songs or games, or lighting candles? Decorating the porch, heck, where I live, raking leaves is like a ritual. We have a beautiful fall change over and the leaves get everywhere! A big tradition for our household is holding a family pumpkin carving party, where we eating apple dumplings and watch Charlie Brown's Halloween and The Disney Legend of Sleepy Hollow to celebrate my Mother's Birthday since she was born just a few days from Halloween!

[platoniccereal]

out of all possible songs, it's the silly level clear by tom cardy that is so ultimately aether to me. and of all songs, it got me thinking.

it's the wanderer who changed his hypostases, but aether must've done it, too. he's been so many people in so many different worlds. he got stuck in an endless cycle of rebirth and death years before the sabzeruz festival. because their endless starts and ends of thousands journeys can be seen as this rebirth metaphor.

and the wanderer can understand, he's the one who changed his three identities, he's the one yelling my endless cycle begins, he's the one loading the electron sphere of setsuna shoumetsu.

in the end of the day, it's about searching for a new purpose, living from goal to goal and choosing not to quit and give up. it's the myth of sisyphus. it's about choosing to be free from any goals and stopping, but continuing to live this life, or not ending the endless search.

aether teaches the wanderer how to deal with his own immortality. the wanderer teaches aether what it means to be abandoned. both inability to die and being left are such painful experiences to them, but they have their experience to share with each other.

they took two different paths dealing with the same curse, and now they both see these paths didn't work. neither trying to quit nor continuing to run forward. what else is there, then? they will find out together.

[pretentious-art-love]

Album Reviews #57 - Back to Times of Splendor by Disillusion

There are countless things I could say about this album: its relentless intensity, its emotional sensibility, and its abrasive wall of sound production. Everything about it is just incredible. But for this review, I want to focus on one single aspect: its flow. This album is a showcase of pure and absolute rhythmic genius like no other. I hadn't realized this until I re-listened to the album today! This record has made me aware, and that's why I want to talk about it.

So, music is like a faucet, right? It can fall over you in small bits, like drops of water, or it can pour over you like an unstoppable waterfall. There are tons of music genres that maintain a similar voltage throughout their songs. In EDM and IDM, this is really common; many songs keep a constant beat or rhythm, which can be hypnotic when done well. DJ mixes go a step further by matching beats and seamlessly transitioning between several songs. It's bloody clever. Keep in mind, though, flow isn't the same as tempo, energy, beat, pattern, or anything like that. Flow is… the amount of life a song exudes from itself to you. It's, well, the voltage that a song spreads towards you, and a stable voltage is desired in all electronic devices, right? Well, this album is a master of that: a master of voltage. In other kinds of music, like pop and rock, you usually have a certain flow for the verses and another for the choruses, perhaps even a momentary flow in between, like a bridge, that makes those other two flows meet. But it's a different flow for each part, a different kind of life you're giving to every part of the song. You play the drums slightly faster on a chorus, or you change the beat completely on the verses, something like that. If you want to keep the flow in a steady stream, there are some examples I can mention. The Motorik beat, as first seen in Krautrock music, usually maintains the same vibe and energy throughout a song, and it's beautifully trance-inducing. We can have songs that keep a similar beat and tempo the whole way through, but the thing is that we can maintain the same flow… even with songs that change their tempo, beat, energy, emotion, and delivery. For music that is not necessarily constant in rhythm, beat, tempo, or anything, but in flow, I want to coin the term 'flowsteady.' That's the genius that lies behind this album, that secret sacred truth that was hiding in front of my eyes!

The first track, even while being uneven and rough in its vivacity, manages to maintain the flow it is pouring over you. Picture this image: the flow might be split unevenly by your own hands, but the amount of water coming from the faucet is always the same; the tap is never moved. Only at the end, when the song ends and you are met with a reprise, does the flow break. The second track also has some clever examples of this masterful handling of kineticism. Around the first 30 seconds, the main rhythm is slowed down, but an acoustic guitar picks up and continues dashing rapidly, while the vocals have a moment for themselves as the drums try to be quiet. That is a very clear example of keeping the flow steady since the life of the song is not changed; it is kept constant. When the chorus comes in, the drums take the reins of the song. If the drums slow down, the guitars do a crazy solo; when the drums stop, the guitars do a breakdown as if grabbing the hand of the life inside the song, not letting it go. This is why this album is genius; it never lets the flow of its songs die!

The third song has an amazing flow to it too. It's like a giant sea wave you can ride. Around the beginning of the third minute of that song, the drums stop for a moment, and nothing picks up their rhythm, but immediately right after, they are followed by blast beats. See what was done there? The flow isn't killed; it is temporarily repressed and then allowed to explode. The transition from blast beats to the more emotional parts is masterfully managed with how the drums, guitars, and vocals turn themselves to control the energy of their songs as well. The only time the flow is stopped is when the song is already over, and the interlude comes in. The fourth track is one of the few that breaks the flow here, and it does so only at the halfway point. After its most intense moment, the music completely stops, and we hear rain. Then the instruments start to pick up slowly, not in rhythm, but in flow. The instruments are going at an already considerably fast rhythm when they pick back up, but they are always looking down, creating a sense of bleakness. When the climax of the song arrives, we are met with one of the most emotional moments of the disc. In this second half of the song, there is an incredible synergy between all instruments, and it is incredibly surreal to experience. The final song does the same thing as the first song did and kills the flow entirely, only to bring the song back from the dead right after the silence, ending the album on an epic note.

The only times I can count that the flow was broken were three: at the end of the first song, at the end of the final song, and at the halfway point of the fourth song, practically at the halfway point of the album itself. You could call it the dramatic pauses of this album. And even so, when there are breaks on these occasions, the songs are reintroduced properly, slowly, and carefully (okay, except at the end of the first song because it just sounds exactly the same as if the first song started all over again, making me think my music file was somehow broken and had a bit repeated of it. What the hell, why did they do that?). Because if there's one thing this band knows, it's that when the flow ends, you have to reintroduce the whole song again! A song whose flow is broken is like a friend whose face you forgot! Changing the flow of your songs can be a nice tool to create impact and drama, but if there's one thing I love, it's a song that keeps it alive. A flow that is not broken is a story that isn't cut short but told uninterruptedly. I am just truly fascinated at how this record can play with the flow of its songs without ever letting it die. It is beautiful because the flow of a song can feel like a true living identity, one that you can keep contained with your hands.

Overall, this album is not a pond, but a river of constant and pure ineffable awesomeness, an unreal stream of ideas where the music doesn't just feel like a constant charge of electricity, but also like a living kinetic force that has to be contained. It makes you feel swiftbold and zippotent. Since it came out, this album has been the most immersive music that has ever existed in the realms of emotional chaos.

9/10

[sometimesiammybpd]

i reminded myself of a really dark point in my life (one of many) recently. and it is something i want to talk about because i've brought it up to friends before but it's never helped. i don't wanna talk about it in this post though because i don't want every post to be so negative.

when i entered high school, the most i listened to music wise was taylor swift. i grew up with her music because of my sisters. never a fan of country though and still not one. i was also really into electronic music at the time, but that was it. and high school was what introduced me to fall out boy, panic! at the disco, and my chemical romance. specifically fall out boy because that's what got me through high school. this was at the same time as the community, so my toxicity was rampant and anything i may mention that i did during this time, i hold myself accountable. but i wanna say something that i realized like a year ago and really haven't been able to say.

yeah, i was toxic as fuck. but most people either chose or somehow couldn't see that it really wasn't because i enjoyed hurting myself or others. i just . . . i don't know. the hardest part about trying to grow and change is identifying with your past self to understand why you were the way you were. it's a double-edged sword in my eyes. yeah, i want to understand so i don't go down that path again. but i also don't want to relive or think about those days as much as the people i hurt doesn't want to. i was never a monster. i made a lot of awful decisions and used very toxic tactics like manipulation and gaslighting. and i know why if i ever went to any of those people and tried to speak my mind, they wouldn't want to hear a word out of my mouth. i understand why. but to me, most of the time at that point felt like i was watching someone else make those decisions; like i had no control of myself. it doesn't excuse anything but things like me bullying myself was also stemmed out of these kinds of things. because i felt so out of control and i had so little explanation for what the fuck was wrong with me that it exhibited as that whole mess. i won't go into specifics because i don't want to make myself revisit every bad decision i have ever made.

but when i found fall out boy, for the first time i felt heard. even when i didn't know i had bpd, i just felt like somehow he was able to say what i was feeling. and i know pete has bipolar disorder, not bpd. but it honestly doesn't matter and that applies to then as well. i first really connected with infinity on high. i remember trying to listen to take this to your grave, but i wasn't really into screamo at that point and it turned me off for a bit (it is top three for me now). infinity on high for the longest time was my favorite album. lyrics like:

i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off i take my last chance to burn a bridge or two. i only keep myself this sick in the head, 'cause i know how the words get you (off). the best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize (that) two out of three ain't bad. don't you know who i think i am? i could learn to pity fools as i'm the worst of all and i can't stop feeling sorry for myself. the (after)life of the party i'm a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart. i've got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers and the truth hurts worse than anything i could bring myself to do to you.

i listened to this on repeat. at this point in my life (15 - 16), i was spiraling mentally. i had started self-harming and just hurting myself and losing friends and just all of it. i had a suicide plan by 13. i was ready to go but then came 14 and 15 and i had no idea why i was even still here. i genuinely wanted to die and the only thing that got me from day to day was fall out boy. and the song that i really connected with and not in a good way was golden. god i remember crying hearing that song for the first time with lyrics and understanding what he was saying.

golden and i saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies. and all the lovers with no time for me. and all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me and pray they don't grow up to be me.

this song was everything to me. everything. hearing patrick sing about this kind of stuff didn't make me more suicidal or depressed. this was the song that showed me that these were more than just catchy songs to jam to. golden was the first song i really gave the lyrics a look at. and i can never forget that. but, for as much as i loved infinity, when i heard from under the cork tree for the first time, i couldn't put it down even more than IOH. as much as i was toxic, i was completely unaware of it and when someone set me off (usually by telling me that i needed to change), i went to from under. i went to fall out boy. like i said, i don't excuse how i was. but everyone pretty much looked at me like i knew what i was doing and didn't care. and there were the few times i did know or think to myself that what i was about to do or just did was not okay. but most of the time i was spiraling out of control and it defaulted to toxicity and rage.

and here's the part that i hate about this time besides just . . . everything. infinity isn't really tainted. i can start at thriller, go through to it's hard to say i do, when i don't and restart it and be fine. some days, i can't do that with from under. some days i hear certain lyrics and feel back in that hallway singing it to myself about someone who did nothing wrong but i was blaming them anyways. and don't get me wrong, i fucking love FUTCT to this day. it's an absolute masterpiece. but it does make it hard sometimes to listen to it. here's some of my favorite lyrics:

of all the gin joints in the world you only hold me up like this, cause you don't know who i really am. nobody puts baby in the corner i keep my jealousy close cause it's all mine. and if you say that makes you happy, then i'm not the only one lying. hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday 7 minutes in heaven (atavan halen) i'm having another episode. i just need a stronger dose. i'm not going home alone, cause i don't do too well on my own.

i slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me so douse yourself in cheap perfume. it's so fitting of the way you are. they call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone. but, for what we've become, we just feel more alone a little less sixteen candles, a little more "touch me" i don't blame you for being you, but you can't blame me for hating it.

i could go on, lol. this album holds as much of a place in my heart as IOH does, but this one really got me through most of high school. and a lot of the songs still get me through adult life and my job and other things. but two things on this album really really stuck with me. i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth (summer song) and the speech at the end of get busy living or get busy dying (do your part to save the scene and stop going to shows). i've got a dark alley is the song for me. out of all fall out boy albums and records and whatnot, it's the song. when i'm in a bad episode, i still listen to it to this day to help me cope. i won't quote any lyrics specifically because it's the entire song. not that the others weren't but this one is explicitly the entire song for me. and i love you pete wentz for writing a fuckin masterpiece that i can't even believe you wanted to not include. and same feelings go towards that speech. that literally lives in my head rent free no matter what.

but i don't know. the whole point of this is that like, i love other bands. i love green day and i love paramore and i love p!atd and all of them. and i love listening to new bands that i've never heard before. but nothing can ever really meet the level of fall out boy for me. the level of that personal connection and feeling that for once, i'm not fucking alone in this fight. and it's also why i couldn't ever get into any of the post-hiatus / pre-SM(F)SD albums. they weren't bad and maybe it was just the instrumentals, but they just didn't feel as personal as the first four albums.

i don't know how to end this. fuck, i love fall out boy so much.

[blissfullybloomed]

“The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen”- Freddy Highmore, August Rush

Good Morning beautiful people! Everyone loves music….yeah, actually everyone. 

Isn't it the coolest thing when you can find people that listen to the same type of music as you do?

When one person enjoys jazz(my papaw), one enjoys electronic dance music(YALL), one or two enjoy native american flute music(my spa peeps), and some more enjoy Simon & Garfunkel(my old-er peeps.) That's when you see  the universal language of music has now brought together different cultures, ideas, and personalities. 

Music has been around since the dawn of time. It's also evolutionary….Just like we are. We as humans evolve into different versions of ourselves as we grow and mature into adults. Our musical preferences change and grow too. I can't imagine you were listening to Buddy Bolden(African-American jazz pioneer from New Orleans), when you were five years old. If you were…you had some dope parents! Your parents and your surroundings subjected you to different types of music, people and places. You know what's cool though? When you find someone else who also listens to Buddy Bolden…and knows his history- you now have a new friend. 

I have curated sooooo many relationships over music. I once fell in love with someone from Sweden over music….it's an entire feeling yall. He had music I had never heard before, and we bonded over that. Still friends to this day!  When you find the music that takes your breath away, and makes the hair on your neck stand up….that's magic. That's love in my opinion. And yeah…music makes me extremely emotional when it hits right. 

I was in a band (YEAH- Im a total band geek through and through) for eight years. I remember they came in during 5th grade and asked us to try and make noise through all these brass instruments….Im not a brass person…LOL. I found my home with the clarinet. I think I was the 6th generation clarinet player? Fam…help me out with that one. No clue…but the clarinet is cool…I still have a hard time “hearing the beat” when reading music for the first time ....but once I hear the tune, I'm golden. Someone has to play the tune for me to hear….communicating musically…universal language. Music is the best. 

Music has let me live through a lot of trauma in my life as well. I'm sure several of you reading this know exactly what I'm talking about here. If you dont…next time you feel happy, play a sad song…see what happens. Your entire mood shifts. Your brain was like….uhm, HALP! 

This is also where this blog may offend you….hang in with me…

I remember being young in church, standing proudly and singing with my gran and papaw to songs like, “ How Great Thou Art”, and I would secretly stop singing so I could hear them sing together. It is still to this day one of my favorite church memories. Papaw's voice is super deep like the ocean, and gran…your voice is honestly angelic. You two are incredible people. Love you very much. I haven't been to church, or listened to any type of that musical genre since I was young. 

I remember riding to the campground in Bellefontaine,Ohio listening to the emo punk rock band,  My Chemical Romance,  with a friend. We didn't listen to it quietly either. We also were not sober when we would listen to it….at the time…I thought that was the best part. Not being sober, and being able to “lose “ myself in music. I didn't want to be in reality at that time of my life ...loud music got me through though…and so did my friend. Unfortunately, we fell out permanently. We had different paths, and that's okay. In hindsight, we both had each other …through one of the hardest, and unimaginable times in both our lives. Still a universal language, and musical communication. 

I remember hearing a man sing Disney songs in his truck- because he couldn't have know Disney music! I later married that man. He introduced me to Boyce Avenue(cover band), Journey….whew…this one is hard. Damn, I said two sentences, and I forgot how to type.

You got it Vic, keep moving. 

 I remember him acting an absolute idiot singing AeroSmith. This person is now my ex-husband. I fell in love with him over Disney music. The reason…my favorite childhood memory is watching Little Mermaid over and over again until the VHS Tape couldn't play anymore. He knew every word to not just Little Mermaid…all of em. He was a disney fanatic too.  That was all it took for me...I'm not sure he even knows that. I am very thankful for that small gift of musical communication…it united us. We are still supportive friends to this very day. Love you dude. Thank you. 

All of these musical memories have history, language, love, rage and vulnerability attached to them.

Each one a catalyst to the other in my own personal timeline. 

Each is a universal language that someone else understood during a time. 

In closing, music has saved my life more than once. Well cats too, but we aint talking about them yet. If you ever find yourself in the deepest depths of yourself and you feel like you can't claw your way out…try music. Just try it …see if it speaks to you. 

I bet it will. 

“La música es hermosa”

“Muzyka jest piekna”

“Muziki ni mzuri”

Yeah…its spanish, polish, and Swahili….get some education! I'm kidding of course…but while you're still here…go look up some polish music ….it's the coolest! 

Peace!

[potsmart]

A Fresh, Less Predictable List of What to Watch While Stoned

The secret is out. Everyone knows I’m a huge stoner, a wake and bake, never leaves home without his herb, you will know me by the sound of my cough type of everyday pothead. In the same way that every Christmas inevitably a family member will get me a tie dye shirt that says “Freshly Baked” or something similar, gormandizers of good ganja are suggested the same few things to watch online while high. It’s cool, everyone loves Chong man, but you can only watch Up In Smoke so many times. (Once.) Make sure you’ve gone to the HoJo and picked up a bunch of munchies because here is a list of suggestions of things to watch after you get unreasonably high.

Grab yourself some weed here and get ready to zone out…

FRINGE SPORTS:

Mountain of Hell

Total chaos on mountain bikes in the Alps is what this delivers. This race starts with over 1,000 riders at the top of a mountain in the alps and ends at the bottom. There are very few trails and riders start in the snow on what would be more appropriate to ski down. Get blazed and watch the whole race as this guy passes 1,000 people. This race is great to watch high because there are plenty of thrills mixed in with the incredible landscape of the Alps.

Bodysurfin’ The Movie

Unlike its sexy cousin surfing, body surfing has never been cool or marketable. Don’t tell that to David Schwepps, hit star of the incredible Bodysurfin’ The Movie. Get ready for weird skits, a completely made up lingo and bag of tricks with creamy slow-mo shots of Aussies bodysurfing. Sports like bodysurfing are almost like a dance since there are no real objectives other than staying in the wave and having a great time.

Rollerman

I’m not really sure if this guy is an innovator or just a weirdo, but he’s been using a suit full of rollerblade wheels to bomb down formidable hills and weave through traffic for what seems like two decades now. You got to give it to a guy who keeps on keeping on with a sport he invented

LIVE MUSIC:

Getting blazed can really help you centre your mind in a specific moment and enjoy art on a deeper level. Pull up your favourite artist live or acoustic and see what they sound like if you’ve never seen them in person. Even if you aren’t a musician there is so much wonderful information to be pulled from watching artists work. Here are some amazing artists I like to put on in the background as audio visual flavour for me session:

Dosh

Dosh is a true one man band, playing a looping everything, but not to be lumped in with the general cringy and gimmicky loop musicians that are a dime a dozen. Probably his biggest claim to fame is being part of the rhythm section for Andrew Bird. In fact much of what I enjoy about Andrew Bird is contributed by Dosh. He’s just a stunning drummer, keyboardist etc.

Against the Clock

This is a series where electronic artists are given 10 minutes to create a song. If you’re into electronic music this is a gem. If not, it may help guide you towards appreciation as it focuses on process, gear and creation in a very concrete way. Check out this episode here:

PROCESS VIDEOS:

Pencils etc.

A lot of us have a childlike fascination for how things are made. If you don’t have one, maybe it’s time to consider fostering one. A lot of people find videos on the process of making something to be relaxing.  Sure you could watch Rick n Morty while baked, but don’t you want to learn how a pencil is made?

Hot Sauce

Did you know Tabasco Sauce takes 3 years to ferment? Stop lying, of course you didn’t. Learn that and more in the classic “How It’s Made” episode on hot sauce. How It’s Made is a great show to watch while stoned in general. Mark Tewksbury is every Canadian’s wholesome dad. How could you not want to sit and listen to him explain how rainbow sprinkles or Twinkies are made.

There you have it, not a single Cheech n Chong movie, no That 70’s Show (classic), no Bob Marley (listen I love Bobby, but this is a “refreshing” list my fellow stereotype), but still generally interesting stuff to watch. Stay safe and order weed in. Both your mom and Mark Tewksbury are worried about you.

Buy some weed bro.

By Richard “Dick” Weed, Ganja Guru and Guest Contributor for Potsmart

[thebandcampdiaries]

Inti (Intiaz Haniff) presents: ”Redux: Death Letter / Stop Breaking Down”

Inti (Intiaz Haniff) has recently announced a new release titled "Redux: Death Letter / Stop Breaking Down." These songs are a particularly significant moment for the artist because they’re the first two tracks he recorded in 2023. At the time, he only had minimal equipment, including a simple microphone for gaming and an electronic drum kit. However, he eventually had the opportunity to get a proper acoustic drum kit. He hit the studio to work with Frank Perez, who helped Inti achieve the gritty, in-your-face, and raw garage rock tone he had been looking to develop since the very beginning. In addition, Nikas Music played guitar on the tracks, ensuring the perfect tone for the material.

The music on this release reveals the incredibly diverse approach that makes Inti so interesting. The artist himself influences as diverse as the white stripes and Coldplay, among others. These two artists are quite different in their approach, with the former going for a minimalistic approach and the latter aiming for size, depth, and cinematic grandeur, which makes them so broadly appealing. The songs on "Redux: Death Letter / Stop Breaking Down" are a cover of classic songs, but they still demonstrate that Inti is a very open-minded artist who has been able to soak in valuable lessons from both schools of thought. He is definitely a mercurial musician who doesn’t like to confine himself to a single category. Instead, he is either to keep exploring new creative opportunities, resulting in songs that are truly personal and worth listening to. People who are into garage rock and vintage blues records will immediately recognize the first cut: Death Letter, written and performed by delta blues legend Son House. This track had been lost to history for quite some time, as the original version from the 1930s was forgotten until blues scholars eventually rediscovered it in the 1960s. Since then, the song has acquired cult status and has been covered by many artists. Not only did it become a blues standard, but punk and garage bands, such as The White Stripes, uncovered the song’s raw and energetic potential. Inti did fantastic with his rendition, opting for a truly dynamic, powerful, intense, incisive sound.  The second song is also an homage to earlier blues legends, and it is a powerful rendition of a Robert Johnson classic, “Stop Breaking Down.” This version captures the furry of garage music, with an incisive drum performance and so much roaring attitude that really gives the song its unique swing.

What makes this release special is that it shows that music goes beyond what happens behind the scenes in terms of production. You can definitely polish a piece of music, but at the end of the day, nothing matters unless there’s substance at the core of it all. It’s not easy to cover such important songs and make them personal, but Inti certainly managed to make them his own. 

The sound he was able to achieve is truly perfect for the vibe of this music, and his performances are as heartfelt and authentic as ever - a testament to the fact that he isn’t just connecting with the music but also with the pathos of the lyrics and the history behind these timeless songs. Thankfully, "Redux: Death Letter / Stop Breaking Down" is that truly dynamic and personal release, which highlights what Inti is all about. The artist has a refreshingly “back to basics“ approach to creativity, which is a powerful reminder that good things do not need to be overly complicated or polished. Having learned many valuable lessons from some of his heroes, including the white stripes, Inti Knows what it takes to write great songs with a more minimalistic approach. At the same time, he knows a good melody, and he has developed an ear for creating music that feels immediate but, at the same time, very appealing and broad-ranging. In light of that, we look forward to seeing what’s in store for this talented young artist, especially in terms of original music.

In conclusion, this isn’t just a great release for garage rock, proto-punk, and blues fans, but it’s recommended to people who like music with a creative twist. Inti's performances are characterized by his remarkable spontaneity, which adds an extra layer of excitement and unpredictability to each musical journey. His commitment to maintaining the music's freshness and allure at every turn is an embodiment of his genuine passion for creating music that resonates with him. Inti's palpable enthusiasm for crafting music that he truly enjoys is evident in every note, making it an absolute joy for the audience to experience.

This release is also recommended to fans of artists such as The Mojomatics, The Stooges, Dead Rituals or The Black Keys, only to mention a few!

Find out more about Inti, and do not miss out on "Redux: Death Letter / Stop Breaking Down." This release is currently available on Spotify and many other online digital streaming services.

[norcalbruja]

Laptop issues averted, thanks to... Tony Stark?

My laptop got fixed in half an hour yesterday, so I didn't have to drop it off at the store or pay anything!

This folds into my delayed updates, because you know how Loki keeps telling me he has "Marvel connections" because HE is a character in Marvel? Iron Man / Tony Stark showed up around the first week of March and he's just... hanging out with Mythical-Loki.

Either Tony was called up by me listening to "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath for a while (because I don't mind pop music in general, but there's only so many times I can listen to THE SAME FIFTY pop songs from some CEO's nightclub playlist for eight hours a day), or Loki intentionally called him over.

--

I have met Tony and the other Avengers before, but I haven't actually asked them for HELP before (what with... being normal and not needing any life-threatening emergencies). But around the 10th, I was just REALLY fed up with work and its inconsistencies, so I was like "Oh mannnnn, I hate this place really bad today. Tony or whoever has the necessary skills, do you think you can get me off work ON TIME instead of 30-40 minutes late?"

He was like "SWEET, you're asking for things!"

GUESS WHAT, I was only about fifteen minutes late when I left work! Considering my workplace can never figure out whether I'm actually supposed to help close or not, 15 minutes is extremely quick.

Unfortunately the next day, my cash register at work started glitching out and rebooted for no reason.

I can put the cash register down to "the workplace computers are ancient, and it's not a secret that they don't work right half the time," but then MY electronics started getting buggy.

My laptop wouldn't turn off until I held down the power button, and then it wouldn't turn back on properly. My phone was also lagging a lot and tended to freeze sometimes.

I was like "Tony!!! If this is you, please stop messing with my electronics!!! If this is someone ELSE, same thing--please don't wreck my stuff JUST YET! I paid $700 for the laptop!"

--

The next day was Monday, and the bowling alley was basically a ghost town, since weekends and holidays are our busiest times. I was doing unnecessary checks on the lanes just to WALK AROUND because I only made about three transactions that weren't paying for my own lunch, so I was like "Fucking hell, they don't even need me here. ...Tony? Can you get me off EARLY this time?"

So Tony went, "Ohhhhhhh yeah, time to turn up the juice!"

In the most Iron Man way of getting me out of work, the managers had me finish my ALCOHOL SERVING TRAINING after lunch. So I officially got off an hour early, but I also spent the hour before that just legally stuck in the office. I love wasting company time, lol.

So I was like "Thanks Tony, you alcoholic motherfucker. But now I’m done with all my employee training!"

He went, "Honey, you know I’m a SMART alcoholic, right? This place is a mess! The possibilities for getting you out of this joint are endless!" And now I need to make a note to BE VERY SPECIFIC about those possibilities. Eek.

While I was panicking about my laptop on Facebook, I wrote "Tony Stark, please make sure I don’t need to get a new laptop JUST yet."

I make a lot of sarcastic pop-culture "prayers" on social media, so I don't think more than like, two people who already know about my pop-culture paganism would realize that I have ACTUALLY been talking to Tony Stark (or "a spirit who identifies as him," for my followers who might find pop-culture paganism weird).

And uhhhhhh... yesterday, my laptop got fixed in half an hour for free.

Granted, my original Windows OS got corrupted somehow, so they had to wipe everything and re-install a new OS, but my important stuff is backed up to Dropbox and Microsoft! All I really need to do is log back into my main websites and re-upload my games and programs. I'll definitely take needing a few days to "refurnish" the laptop in exchange for not buying a new laptop, or paying for repairs.

THE KICKER: While I was driving home with my Fixed Laptop, I saw some huge graffiti on a billboard with MY FIRST NAME ON IT. It is specifically only visible when I'm driving HOME that way, so that gave me a small heart attack.

Tony and Loki thought it was hilarious.

Now, aside from the snarkiness, Tony is actually pretty fatherly towards me and like... he HAS been asking me to ask him for help since he came around.

I think part of it's because he knows I'm ALSO depressed, and I have a complicated relationship with alcohol/drugs because... you know, I'm depressed AND anxious. I don't want to end up self-medicating, especially since I REALLY like the taste of cider and mead and wine.

This one time, Tony told me, "Look honey, I am NOT a god. I am a person. When someone asks for help, I help them. More importantly, I try to help them in the WAY THEY ASK. You asked the gods for help a million times already! DEAD PEOPLE hear it! The FOREST hears it! Sure, the gods tried their best, but it was not the help you need. And most of your own people's gods just aren't showing up. All you want is a house and an art career, and I'M FUCKING RICH. If I can't help you myself, I can find someone who does!"

And then he was like "New laptop, new year, new life! As His Highness keeps telling you."

Anyway: Thank you again for helping with my laptop, Iron Man. I shall keep away from spiders for the near future.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams (2002)

This second trip to the world of Spy Kids isn’t nearly as fresh or exciting as the first. Still, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams will appeal to its intended audience. While it’s disappointing to see it retread much of the same material as before, there are some new ideas and the sense of fun which won us over the first time is still present.

The Office of Strategic Services has developed an extensive child spy program. 13-year-old Carmen Cortez (Alexa Vega) and 10-year-old Juni Cortez (Daryl Sabara) finish saving the president’s daughter (Taylor Momsen) when they are unexpectedly upstaged by their rivals, Gary and Gerty Giggles (Matt O'Leary and Emily Osment). To prove themselves top spies, Carmen and Juni set out to retrieve the Transmooker - a device which can shut off all electronics - from a group of magnet men seeking global domination.

Giving Juni and Carmen rivals is a good move. By now, they’re experienced spies. Giving them simply another mission wouldn’t be enough, particularly since they’ve worked out most of their brother/sister issues by now. They’re a fully-functional team… at least when Carmen isn’t fawning over Gary. On top of saving the world, they’ve got to beat those snooty Giggles children, and show the world their family is the top spy family. This last idea comes in when we focus on their parents (Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino) and grandparents (Ricardo Montalbán and Holland Taylor). Expect to see the same kind of zany gadgets and wild imagination as you did the first time. This adventure brings us to wild destinations and contains some unexpected (mostly unexpected) twists.

A noteworthy aspect of Spy Kids 2 are the special effects. They’re extensive and overall, haven't aged well. Over time, Rodriguez has become increasingly enamoured with green screens and CGI. Often, it works but just as frequently, you can feel the actors' desperation as they try to react to locations and creatures that weren't there on set. You miss the physical props and makeup from the first Spy Kids, which only resorted to the computer when it absolutely needed to. It’s clear the combination writer, director, editor is enthusiastic about this project. He takes a moment to showcase his love of Ray Harryhausen’s creations and the recreation of the old-school stop-motion effects are just about perfect. I want to tip my hat towards the Latino director for trying some new tools but this film tries to do too much.

This sequel isn’t as good as its predecessor. The big issue is the story's pacing and flow. When we finally get to the “Island of Lost Dreams”, we don’t get to explore it as much as we wish. Ultimately, the island has little to do with the Transmooker, which makes the script feel less polished or well thought-out as its optimal version. This could’ve probably been two movies if not for the young stars’ age. Unlike James Bond, the members of the”Spy Kids” can only be in their own movies so many times...

Spy Kids 2 shows this series has legs. Rodriguez could make many more of these as long as he puts in the time and effort to tighten the writing. It’s a sequel that isn’t as good as the first but most viewers won’t mind. Stick around for the end credits if you’re a kid and seeing Alexa Vega perform a pop song interests you. If you’re an adult, you won’t miss much by skipping it but there's other footage as the credits scroll that's fun. (June 12, 2020)

[falloutkeiji]

5 times your song plays + the 1 time he plays it

words: 2.8k

characters: eddie munson x gn! reader

warnings: mentions of drug use (weed), light drinking, cursing, use of the nicknames “sweetheart,” “babe,” and “baby,” slight mention of the upside down nonsense

notes: hiiii it’s me again. second fic ever and it’s a continuation of the first one! pls ignore how many italicized words there are, eddie and reader are just very dramatic and dorky. i hope u enjoy my blorbo writing once again.

pt. 1

✰ the first time ✰

the first time you heard the song, you almost wept with relief.

well, it wasn’t really the first time you’d heard the song. it’d been on the radio for like 5 years now. but it was the first time you really listened to the song.

the car is almost uncomfortably silent as you rifle through eddie’s disorganized cassette collection. while he is white-knuckling the cracked steering wheel, you’re looking for some music to dissipate the rising tension.

which, shouldn’t have really been that hard. eddie had an entire collection of metal albums in his car. but with your mounting anxiety, you would’ve rather stepped out of the car into moving traffic than pop one into the cassette player.

you find a cassette labeled “pop shit,” and you wave it over the center console. “why do you have this?”

eddie’s eyes dart quickly between the cassette, your face, and the road. “um. i don’t know. i think because of the kids? maybe harrington? who cares. just fucking pick already.”

you glare at him, but you can’t really blame him for his impatience. he is as nervous as you are, left leg bouncing, lips chewed up anxiously, hands squeezing the steering wheel too tight.

and it really shouldn’t be awkward. even though you’re on your way to your first “real date” with eddie, you’ve hung out with him alone hundreds of times. but the new context has both of you at a loss for words.

you shove the cassette into the player, hoping to finally kill the tension.

the first sound of the electronic cords has you and eddie glancing at each other quickly, but you both look away just as fast.

you sit in silence listening to the dramatic effects and lyrics of “tainted love” until you both can’t take it anymore, bursting into a peal of raucous laughter that carries you all the way to your destination.

✰ the second time ✰

the second time you hear it, it’s the same day. in the same van.

eddie’s van is stopped in your driveway, stalling as he looks at you.

“don’t i get a goodnight kiss?” he asks with a cheeky smile, but you know the confidence is all for show. you know this because, incidentally, you’re also the only one to know that eddie has never kissed anyone. ever.

“aren’t i the one that’s supposed to get the goodnight kiss?” you shoot back, leaning into his space with a matching grin.

the ending of the “pop shit” mixtape echoes in the background as you two stare at each other.

“and why is that? i’m the one who drove you and took you out. i think i deserve a kiss for my troubles,” he snarks, clearly joking.

regardless, you feign offense, leaning away from him dramatically. “and i’m the one who made the first move, so really, none of this would’ve happened without me. therefore, i deserve the kiss more.”

eddie breaks character at that, head leaning forward with his laughs. ““made the first move?” i seem to remember me making the first move while you were having an entire panic attack on my bed.”

you laugh with him at the memory, embarrassed for your blatant display of nerves but happy that it happened regardless. “okay. touché. we both deserve a goodnight kiss.”

he smiles at you, warm instead of snarky. “okay. i’m glad we’re in agreement,” he mutters, as he grabs your face gently and leans in.

your lips just barely touch his when the mixtape starts over, when the techno cords of “tainted love” play into the car for the second time that night.

you both pull away slightly to laugh, and your first kiss with eddie contains more smiles and giggles than is entirely functional.

✰ the third time ✰

the third time you hear it, you’re at a party.

you’re not really feeling it, and eddie obviously isn’t either. it’s at harrington’s house, filled with likes of his like 3 adult friends, and then their friends, and then the friends of their friends.

you sympathize with the sentiment. they’re just trying to regain some semblance of normalcy, but the party is admittedly kinda (very) lame. you and eddie are both pleasantly buzzed, but even some alcohol and weed can’t make this party fun.

you make eye contact with eddie across the pool, obviously communicating that you want to go. he nods, and makes the effort to politely wrap up his conversation with one of robin’s band friends.

although his eyes are slightly bloodshot, they crinkle at the edges with his smile as he approaches you. “ready to hit the road, sweetheart?”

you wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on his shoulder, nodding. “yeah. tired.”

he snorts, running his hand through your hair. “yeah. real snooze fest king harrington’s got going on over here.”

you hum your acknowledgment, rubbing circles onto his back.

you’re just pulling away to leave when you hear those three familiar notes.

you laugh into eddie’s shoulder, and he laughs with you.

you two still do end up leaving early, but not before an extremely flamboyant sing off to the soft cell song.

✰ the fourth time ✰

the fourth time you hear it, you’re at music and more.

you like to bother him at work, especially now that you’re dating and can’t get enough of each other.

you saunter into the store with a bag of chinese takeout in your hand, right in time for eddie’s midday lunch break.

when you see him, you can’t help but to break out into a private smile. his hair is in a (very, very) messy bun, and his eyes are wild as he tries to sell metallica’s “master of puppets” album to a preppy looking teenager. “it saved my life man, really,” he says, and the mischievous look on his face when he says it betrays the truth behind the statement.

you approach the counter just as the kid is walking away, metallica album in hand. “you’re a real salesman, munson.”

he looks up at you, surprised expression turning into a soft one. the snark doesn’t really meet his eyes, which grow impossibly softer at the sight of you bringing him his favorite food.

“what can i say? it’s my duty as a music store employee, and as a human being, to enlighten the masses. it would be wrong of me to let that little sheep walk away without one of the greatest albums of all time, and you know me. always doing the right thing.”

you scoff at him, shoving the bag of food at him. “pretentious, much?”

you can almost perfectly time in your head the moment when eddie gasps dramatically, and grasps his chest like he’s been shot. “how dare you? you just wouldn’t get it.”

you laugh at his antics and begin making your way to the break room where you always join eddie for his lunch. he skips along behind you, feigned offense already forgotten.

you hear his coworker mark mutter “no customers in the break room,” as always, but his attempts are fruitless as you and eddie sit at the fold-out table and unpack your food.

in the quiet break room, you can finally hear the music that’s playing. it’s duran duran, and you smirk at eddie. “i see mark is working today, huh?”

eddie groans and rolls his eyes ever so dramatically as he shoves his chopsticks into the lo mein. “yes. he is. what a fucking suck up. and i really cannot take it anymore. if i have to hear one more tears for fears song i’m gonna die, sweetheart. die.”

“aww, poor baby,” you say with faux sympathy, but you know that the situation is really eddie’s fault.

long story short, eddie’s least favorite coworker is mark. he’s in his late 20s, and according to eddie, he takes his job way too seriously. for eddie, this means having to listen to pop music every shift he works with mark, because whoever shows up first to work gets to choose the music, and eddie is always late.

you have this conversation at least once a week, and you remind eddie that if he just showed up earlier than mark, he would have his first pick of the music. but, as eddie always says, that’s too much fucking effort.

you and eddie chit-chat over lunch, you telling him about your day and him telling you about his. you hear about the myriad of annoying customers he’s encountered, and you also hear about how many of them he has tried to “enlighten.”

his break is almost over when the song starts playing. eddie’s eyes light up, and he quickly jumps out of his seat.

“babe… what are you doing?” you ask, hesitant as eddie jumps onto the table where your food is sitting.

he bends down over you, hair falling in front of his face and hand held out to you. instead of answering, he just wiggles his eyebrows at you.

you glance nervously around the break room, scared that mark will come in and see you. you really don’t want to get eddie fired. but, like always, he senses your nervousness.

“he won’t come in here, babe. i promise. i think he’s traumatized from when he caught us making out last time,” he says, softer now.

you blush at the memory but hold out for a couple more seconds. you stare into his big warm eyes, at the tiny freckles on his face, and his pointed nose and his smiling mouth.

eventually, you oblige, unable to say no to his pretty face.

and, eddie was wrong. mark does end up walking in. and what he sees is you and eddie dancing on top of the table, belting “touch me baby, tainted looove”

✰ the fifth time ✰

the fifth time you hear it, you’re not really sure if you heard it.

eddie had called you about an hour earlier, twirling the phone cord around his finger as he asked you to come over after your shift to “help him study,” which really meant “get high and make out.”

luckily for the both of you, you had gotten out of work early and found yourself knocking on eddie’s chipped door an hour earlier than expected.

you hear the sound of music playing loudly in the trailer, knowing that the music was probably too loud for eddie to hear your knocking.

you take it upon yourself to open the door and make your way into his house yourself, comfortable enough in your relationship with him that you know it’s okay.

you slide your shoes off at the door and make your way to his bedroom, but not before you make out the music that’s playing.

you realize that you kinda recognize the song, which faintly resembles soft cell’s “tainted love,” but something is different about it. you also realize, with a start, that eddie is the one playing it.

you push his door open, and the music abruptly stops at the motion.

when you see eddie, he looks like a deer caught in the headlights. his doe eyes are wide as he quickly shuts the notebook in his lap and moves to put his guitar back on the wall.

“was that ‘tainted love,’ eds?”

“no,” he answers way too quickly, eyes darting quickly at all of his mismatched posters. “it wasn’t. why would you think that? did it sound like it? because it shouldn’t.”

you nod slowly at him, knowing there’s something off about the situation but not knowing exactly what it is.

you decide to let it go, though, when eddie’s nervous smile turns into an excited one and he pulls out a pre-rolled joint.

✰ + the one time he plays it ✰

really, you should’ve known something was going on.

the first sign is that eddie asked you to do his eyeliner before the show.

which, really isn’t that strange. but he had asked you to do it for him because his hands were too shaky to do it himself. you don’t think much of it until you start to draw the wing on his eye, and you notice that the hand this is gripping your thigh is trembling pretty badly.

“you okay, eds?” you whisper into the small space between you.

he hums an affirmative and opens his eyes briefly to look at you. despite his apparent nerves, you think he looks gorgeous like this up close. winged eyeliner accentuating his baby-cow-like eyes, “yeah. ‘m good. just pre-show jitters.”

you continue to line his eyes with the pencil, even though you’re keenly aware this his pre-show jitters are never this bad.

you also notice, now that you’re in the van with him on the way to the show, that he’s slightly more dressed up than usual. under his band tee, he’s wearing a fishnet long sleeve shirt. his hair looks curlier and messier than normal, and he’s wearing his really nice combat boots that he bought with his first ever paycheck.

the heavy boots make the sound of him bouncing his leg even more apparent, and his metal rings make clacking sounds as they tap against the steering wheel.

“are you sure you’re okay? you just seem more nervous than usual, babe.”

he glances at you and gives you a smile that is so endearingly nervous you just want to make him pull over so you can kiss it off his face. “i’m good baby. i promise. we’re just performing some new material tonight and i’m a bit nervous. it’s some never-before-heard shit, you know. i don’t know if the people will like it.”

you grab his right hand and kiss his knuckles, before lacing your fingers together. “they’ll like it, eds, i promise. i know i will.”

the next hint, you notice as eddie bounds onto the stage about an hour later. it’s evident that he’s turned his nervous energy into something good, as he seems like a giddy child when he smiles at the crowd. he grabs the microphone, and says, a little shyly, “hello party people! we have some new shit for you tonight. it’s something a little different, so we hope you enjoy. we’re corroded coffin.”

as they start playing, you notice that eddie’s band tee isn’t one of his normal ones. instead of black sabbath or dio, it’s a soft cell shirt. you laugh to yourself at the inside joke, but emerge yourself into the show nonetheless.

it’s not hard to get lost in eddie’s performances. he has a whole band behind him, but he’s magnetic. he has a manic grin on his face the whole time, and he bounces around the stage even with his heavy boots.

when the show starts winding down, you’re a bit drunk and a bit more confused. eddie had said they were playing some new material tonight, but they hadn’t. and the show was almost over.

as if reading your mind, eddie’s eyes meet yours. he gives you a secret smile before grabbing the microphone once more. “i know you’re probably wondering, “where’s the new material?” and to that i would say, “patience is a virtue.” and your patience has paid off, my fellow freaks, because our next song is one we’ve never played before.“

the (pretty small) crowd cheers, and you cheer with them, the anticipation sitting like butterflies in your stomach.

eddie laughs before continuing. “and, well , okay. calling it “new” is a bit of a lie. it’s a song that you all probably know and hate, but with a classic corroded coffin metal twist on it. shoutout to my favorite person ever, who is here watching us tonight. this one is for you, sweetheart.”

you feel yourself blushing with the attention, and the anticipation of what he’s gonna play is almost too much to bear.

eddie makes eye contact with you before playing those godforsaken notes that you know all too well.

he’s playing that fucking song.

and somehow, eddie manages to make the cheesy song cool. he put his own metal twist to it, giving it harsher drums and a harsher bassline. he’s bouncing around onstage, shouting the lyrics louder than they really need to be sung. but they sound good. he sounds good, and you find yourself singing along with him.

when the show is over, and eddie makes his way over to you as always, you kiss the giddy smile right off of his fucking face. but, when you pull away, your face mirrors the same smile.

“so you’re a pop star now, huh munson?”

his eyes are stunning as they widen in amusement. “fuck off,” he says and shoves you, but then pulls you into a bone-crushing embrace. “i’ll be a pop star if you be my groupie.”

“deal.”

[tinyyoungblood]

hi!! do you know that tiktok trend where the girl asks her bf if he can temporarily break up with her so she can be heartbroken when she listens to olivia rodrigo’s new album and the bf always says no? could you do that but with peter and avenger!reader? i don’t really know how the avengers play into that but i trust you to think of something great. love your work babes <3

pairing: peter parker x avenger!reader

word count: 2.7k

a/n: hey fren, tysm <3 i do know that trend, and it always warms my darn heart. you probably meant for this to be a headcanon but halfway through i realised that i was writing full sentences, so i just rolled with it bc i have no self-control lol enjoy x

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Peter, I need you to break up with me.”

Not a moment later, you heard a series of loud crashes and Peter stumbled out of the bathroom, hopping on one leg while fiddling with his zipper. “What did you just say?” His eyes were wild as they scanned your face.

“I need you to break up with me,” you repeated calmly, not taking your eyes off your laptop.

“Break up with you?” Peter echoed, hand raking through his hair in bewilderment. “Why would I do that? Do you want to break up?”

This made you look up. Peter was staring at you like you had just insulted his face, making it quite an effort to stay serious. “It’s just for 34 minutes and 46 seconds,” you assured. “So I can listen to Olivia Rodrigo’s new album.”

He blinked at you.

“What?”

“Please?” You set your laptop aside, shuffling to the end of the bed so you were sitting right in front of him. “I want to listen to it in full effect with a broken heart and everything.”

“I…” Peter slowly shook his head. A helpless laugh escaped him. “Um, no. Thank you.” He turned and made to return to the bathroom.

“Peter,” you whined and grabbed for his hand, pulling him to a halt.

“Sorry, angel.” He shrugged, supressing the faint tug at the corner of his mouth.

“Pleeeeaase.”

“Nope.”

You pouted. “We can break up when you train with Bucky! In that way you won’t even notice because you’ll be busy and distracted. I won’t even be on your mind.” You weren’t sure what you had said that made Peter stare at you like you were insane, but it took him a second to snap out of it.

He cupped your face with his hands and made sure to meet your eyes. “Babe, I think about you all the time.” He said it like it was a wish he wanted to word correctly. Slow and precise. Then he switched to a lighter tone that implied that he was done with the conversation. “I’m not breaking up with you.” With that he turned and left for the bathroom.

“Fine,” you called back although the water was already running and you doubted that Peter could hear you. And if he did, he probably didn’t care. You took that as your cue to leave. Defeated, you plucked your headphones into your phone and picked out a song of Olivia’s album at random.

Steve was lounging on the couch of the common room when you entered. He looked up from his magazine and gave you a small smile by way of greeting. You returned it by tapping two fingers at your temple in salute, ignoring the way how his stare lingered a little longer. You sat down next to him. When you locked eyes again, you saw the silent question on his face and let out a laugh. It ended up sounding more like a delightful scoff.

“I know Tony takes pride in being the philanthropist amongst us, but for someone who grew up in the ice age, you’re really good at reading people’s faces.” You wanted to annoy Steve, maybe even coax out a laugh, but he just kept looking at you, and you held his gaze. You were good at it—an aftereffect of living with Bucky who happened to love the same yoghurt as you did. Sometimes you put all western movies to shame with the way you narrowed your eyes at each other early in the morning in front of the fridge.

To your luck, Steve was just as stubborn, which meant that you two could’ve kept it going until death if it weren’t for the door banging open.

“I can’t believe you did this to me!” A voice boomed. You took a wild guess and assumed it was Clint.

“Tell me about it!” Another voice bellowed right back.

A second later, Sam and Clint marched into the room, furious, whereas Bucky strolled in behind them with no care in the world.

The former two were holding bags of food. Both were animated and waving their arms through the air while arguing. You turned down the volume of your phone in time to hear Steve demand, “What’s going on?”

Clint and Sam stared daggers at Bucky until Steve amended, “Buck, what did you do?”

The man in question turned around, facing his best friend in exasperation. “I asked these two to get food for me.” This earned him a snarl. Bucky waved them off and examined his metal arm, unconcerned. “Honestly, I have no idea why they’re getting so worked up about it.”

“We—” Sam gestured wildly between Clint and himself. “—were asked to pick up food for him from two different places. And neither of us knew about it!”

“Yes, neither of us knew,” Clint chimed in, eyes narrowing at Bucky who was busy flicking dust off his arm. “And I don’t know about you, Sam, but I was touched. I was moved, okay? Because Bucky never asks for anything and here I was, thinking we’re starting to bond or whatever but now I just feel USED.”

Sam gave a harsh sound in agreement.

“Bucky,” said Steve after no one had anything to add. “What do you have to say to that?”

Your gaze flitted between them, not sure what to expect. Bucky didn’t give any sign of wanting to respond, making you wonder if he had heard Cap at all. But then a slow smile swept over his lips and you noted that it was probably the most feline smile you’d ever seen. It was a smile storybook villains wore after burning down the world.

“The only thing I have to say is that I regret not having the moment they ran into each other in the elevator on video tape, because that—” He turned and looked Sam and Clint straight in the eye. “—was amazing.”

No one spoke.

“Ruthless,” you said under your breath and just like marionettes, the four men glanced you before another argument broke.

You took the chance to turn the volume back up. “happier” was playing and you settled further into the couch to watch the scene unfold. Sam was arguing so passionately that the vein on his neck was making an impressive appearance. Clint, on the other hand, had a palm pressed flat to his chest; his face showing pure betrayal. Bucky didn’t seem to care for the chaos. He tried multiple times to grab for the bags only for one of them to move out of his reach. When you glanced at Steve, you nearly lost it.

He was staring at them like his lifespan had just been reduced to ten years. He looked like he wanted to throw pebbles after them.

Nudging him with your arm, you silently handed him one of your earphones. He glanced at you and hesitated, probably thinking of the many times you had offered him a taste of blaring electronic music. You rolled your eyes and insisted again. This time, Steve took it and you watched in amusement as his brows rose in surprise.

“I like the piano,” he mouthed and glimpsed at the name of the song. You grinned.

In the meantime, Clint and Sam had decided to form an alliance. They had planted themselves in the opposite couch, digging into the contents of the brown bags while Bucky gawked at them from the other side of the room with his mouth ajar and heart ripped out of his chest. Shaking his head in disbelief, he let himself fall into the armchair facing them. He looked devastated. You weren’t sure if you had to stifle a laugh or tears.

Next to you, Steve chocked back a laugh. You quirked an eyebrow and considered him only to realise the reason behind his glee. Bucky was brooding in his seat while Sam and Clint did an excellence job on commenting every bite. Nothing has ever received as much praise as that pasta, and you were certain that if this were a cartoon, there would be rain clouds hovering above Bucky’s head. As if the angels had set it up themselves, you took notice of the lyrics.

I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go

So find someone great but don't find no one better

Bucky was pouting, poking the leather of his armchair with his finger while stealing glances at Sam and Clint. It was perfect. Steve slapped a hand on his chest and he tipped his head back, laughing.

I hope you're happy, I wish you all the best, really

Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me

And think of me fondly when your hands are on her

I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

You were both laughing hysterically. The others had stopped their on-going war to stare at the two of you; their expressions baffled. The song came to an end and Steve gave back your earphone, rubbing his eye as if wiping away a tear. He rose and walked over to Bucky, hurling him to his feet and putting an arm around his shoulders.

“Oh, Buck,” Steve said with a note of laughter in his voice. “There’s a song I need to show you.” You smiled as you watched them leave.

“Well, this was fun.” You pushed yourself off the couch and shook your head as Sam offered you some of his sushi. “Thanks, but I’m on a mission to get heartbroken.”

Leaving the men to their food, you wandered the halls and listened to “traitor” as you walked past Wanda’s room. Her door was open and you could see that Vision was in the middle of a chess game with Bruce and Wanda. By the looks of it, Vision was as good as winning and you reined the urge to cheer for him. You peaked around the door frame and saw that Vision had their king in check. Deep betrayal crossed Wanda’s face.

You chuckled quietly and whispered, “FRIDAY, play what I’m listening to right now through the speakers in Wanda’s room.” FRIDAY didn’t bother to respond but not a second later, the lyrics were blasting through her room and their heads snapped up in confusion.

Don't you dare forget about the way

You betrayed me

'Cause I know that you'll never feel sorry

For the way I hurt, yeah

“Wanda?“ You heard Vision’s careful voice. “What is going on?”

Guess you didn't cheat

But you're still

You're still a traitor

“I’m not sure, but these lyrics aren’t wrong…You are a traitor.” Wanda narrowed her eyes at him, slowly bobbing her head to the music. Treason danced in her eyes. It was the beginning of a villain origin story.

“Maybe it’s a sign of God,” Bruce said and you almost burst out laughing.

God, I wish that you had thought this through

Before I went and fell in love with you

“Hell yeah!” Wanda yelled and this time you bolted down the hallway, wheezing. You dashed right into Tony’s lab and slammed the door.

“What are you on?” He looked up in amusement. You simply shook your head, laughter still bubbling over your lips.

“Just spreading love in this facility.” You waved your hand at nothing in particular and Tony nodded.

“Right, I heard you asked Peter to break up with you to listen to that one album? Very dramatic. I like it.”

“See.” You gestured at him, indicating that he was the only one who got it. “It’s a good album. Maybe you should ask Pepper to divorce you.”

Tony gave a humourless laugh. “Yeah, I don’t think she would come back if I asked her.”

“Yikes,” you mumbled and this time Tony’s laughed for real.

“So what? You’ve just been walking around waiting for heartbreak?” He turned back to whatever he was working on. You stepped closer to get a peek.

“Precisely.”

“Sounds tiring.”

“I’m powered by exhaustion” You handed him the wrench he needed. “Want a listen? I think there’s a song you might like.”

He contemplated the offer and lifted his shoulder in a half-shrug. “Sure, why not.” You couldn’t help but squeal. You knew that Tony probably didn’t care but sharing your music was always exciting.

Beaming, you removed your headphones and connected your phone to the speakers of Tony’s lab. The first tunes of “good 4 u” started playing and Tony tapped his foot to the beat, head bobbing just slightly. When the chorus hit, he stood up and you stepped back, thinking he wanted to headbang. Instead, he reached for a tool that was further away. You didn’t miss the way he moved his shoulders in a little dance move though.

“I like this one,” he said, and you flashed him a smile. You continued working on the suit, handing Tony things you knew he needed until you passed him a plier and he froze. You furrowed your brows, glanced at the tool you knew was the right one, and cocked your head in silent question.

Maybe I'm too emotional

Or maybe you never cared at all

Looking you straight in the eyes, he flung the plier over his shoulder, opened a drawer, and took out another plier to use on his suit. You gasped.

“How dare you,” you whispered in shock. Tony had the nerve to shrug.

“Enjoy your little heartbreak moment, Y/N.” He shooed you away like a cat. “FRIDAY, yank up the volume, would you.”

Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy

Not me, if you ever cared to ask

Good for you, you're doin' great out there without me

“Guys?” Peter’s voice was drowned out by the booming music. He was leaning against the doorframe, watching in amusement as you and Tony towered on the lab tables, using screwdrivers as provisional microphones. While Tony played a terrific air guitar, you sank dramatically to your knees and impressed the crowd with your air drumming skills.

“Guys?” Peter tried again, chuckling. This time you and Tony whipped around at the same time and pointed straight at Peter.

Like a damn sociopath

You threw your arms up in the air and spun in circles while Tony jumped into quite an impressive split leap.

I've lost my mind

I've spent the night cryin' on the floor in my bathroom

Just over the fact that I really don't get it

But I guess good for you

The song came to an end, and you leapt on Tony’s table to share a screwdriver with him as you sang the last lyrics together.

Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily

The song ended and all you could hear was heavy breathing. Peter began to clap. “This was great, you guys. Wow.”

You exchanged glances with Tony before making a show of bowing at the waist.

“So this is what happens when I refuse to break up with you?” Peter strolled over to where you sat on the lab table, positioning himself between your legs. Tony chuckled and jumped off to grab a water bottle from across the room.

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate on that,” you said, just for the devil of it.

Peter smiled. “Cap and Bucky are crying over a song, Vision is sending Wanda flowers in ten-minute intervals, and you are down here having a rock concert with Tony.”

You gave him a toothy grin. “I was just feeling sour.”

* * *

stay hydrated pals

[neworderscans]

Electronic: Bernard Sumner & Johnny Marr online Q & A @ beeb.com, 22.04.99

Manchester music legends Bernard Sumner of New Order and Johnny Marr of The Smiths first started working together in 1989 as Electronic. Inspired by the success of their debut single, Getting Away With It, Johnny and Bernard have continued to produce records and collaborated with many other musicians. They chatted live from TOTP on 22/04/99 before performing their latest single Vivid.

pete23 asks: "Does being on Top of the Pops still mean something to you?"

Bernard: "It means getting up at 9 in the morning and hanging around for 12 hours."

Johnny: "So...yes...it means the same as it's always done!"

Bernard: "This time we're playing live which is more exciting than before. The format is that some bands play live over a backing track but I think it should be all live."

Johnny: "I grew up watching the show religiously so it would be nice to think that the show means the same to teenagers now as it did to me. We've got a guy in the band called Phil Cunningham and this is his first time and he's really excited."

Sara6asks: "What's the new album like?"

Bernard: "It's not very good, it wasn't worth making."

Johnny: "We're not really on it, we got our friends to do it."

Bernard: "It's rockier than the previous ones. It's more of a group based sound."

Johnny: "It's still more melodic but more guitary."

Bernard: "In the past the tracks have mainly been written using a computer and keyboard with the guitars added at the end. On this album we reversed the process by writing the songs on guitar first. A by product of that is that this album took 3 months to record and the previous one took 2 years."

Johnny: "The most conscious thing on this album was the choice to use a co-producer. This gave us more time and energy to focus on being songwriters. That's not to say we had a problem with this in the past...but we just fancied a change. Having a band to pull together made the atmosphere different as well...even rehearsals are good fun, it's great to make a racket."

Hailey23 asks: "You've probably been asked this a load of times, but come on guys, how about some live dates soon?"

Johnny: "We're trying. Both Bernard and myself are looking forward to playing live, our main consideration is the rest of the band."

Bernard: "We want to do some festivals but the rest of the band play for other people so we have to make sure they're free and available. The Label would like us to tour but we'd rather do a set of festivals. Even if we're going to play one gig, we have to rehearse for a month, which is really expensive."

Johnny: "Jed Lynch, the drummer who played with us on this album, is with Black Grape. Astrid Williamson who sang backing vocals on the album is also in the band. Phil Cunningham is in a Manchester band and it's difficult getting them all together."

mojo asks: "The Happy Mondays reunion - how long do you think it'll last?"

Johnny: "No one knows the answer to that question...two songs."

Bernard: "They're obviously friends of ours so we wish them good luck for the Manchester gig. Hopefully they've learnt from this period of being apart. Speaking from my experience with New Order, it was great that we stopped being silly. I believe the real reason the Monday's split up wasn't drugs...but Sean's feet. If they invest in some 'odour eaters' they could go on forever."

edgetolife asks: "Johnny, in the future would you like to play in more bands and write more material or would you enjoy producing material of other artists?"

Johnny: "I don't really fancy either of those things. I've been very fortunate to be involved with a few respected groups and I don't really want to repeat what I've done in the past. The problem with production is there's no distinction between what's my input and the artist's input." "When I've worked with other artists, my first thought in the morning is fretting about the production and if I'm going to do that then, then I might as well do it for myself. I'm thinking of doing my own solo stuff. I've got a collection of songs. When Bernard does his stuff with New Order I'm going to kick that off. I'll be singing and I'll get a band together." "I'm not giving it too much thought at the moment as Electronic's album's not even out at the moment. I'm very proud of this record and I want to promote it as much as possible."

Bernard: "We'll definitely work together again as well."

Johnny: "There's a sound I can only get with Bernard, the way he works and the way he writes. People can hear it and I think it's something unique."

Happy Jack asks: "How much online surfing do you both do? Have you seen any of the fans Electronic, Smiths and New Order sites (trust me, there are thousands)."

Bernard: "I just use it for porn...No, I'm joking...I'd rather go out and buy a book and hold something in my hand. The last thing I want to do after all day behind a computer in the studio is do it at home. We do use the net for graphics and sleeve designs. I get all the artwork emailed to me before it goes out."

Johnny: "I've checked it out fairly extensively. I've found it to be quite inspiring in some areas. I've got some quirky interests like Carl Jung, the history of native Americans and the history of Tibet. But I did check out a few fan sites. At first I was impressed and then underwhelmed because every time I went back to them they didn't update them. I tried to help out an unofficial website by telling them what I was up to. If anyone has any ideas they can email my management (Ignition management) or the record company and I'll get to see them."

Bernard: "The new Electronic website is a great site. The last one wasn't so good so I hope it goes well. What would be great is if we could do something like this every month."

JK22 asks: "If I sent my young brother down to hang about outside the TOTP studios with my Smiths, New Order and Electronic records, would you sign them?"

Bernard: "Yes but don't let everyone else get the same idea."

Johnny: "It depends, is he a nice guy?"

ManC asks: "Johnny, do you reckon Manchester City will be promoted this season?"

Johnny: "I'm always nervous about getting my hopes up. It's looking good though. I really hope Bernard doesn't say anything cos he's so smug this morning about Man U's victory. I'm sure Man C would agree, that because they're from Manchester and England and they're competing in Europe, I honestly hope with all my heart they get stuffed. That's how twisted Man City fans have become."

Bernard: "City have done so badly lately that Man U fans don't even take the mickey anymore. We find it pitiful. You'll be playing Salford Grammar School next."

Johnny: "I don't care. The band has just split up, thanks Man C!"

Gav Fuller asks: "Johnny, what's the story behind you launching your own clothing line? Where can we buy the clothes from?"

Johnny: "At the moment there are shops everywhere taking orders from Elk. But we're funny about who we'll send it out to. If you live in London you can get it from Fletcher in Covent Garden or Brown's...there are going to be a couple of adverts in The Face over the next few months."

"It's stuff I've done with Nigel Lawson, a very talented fashion designer in Manchester that I know. The stuff he does is much more interesting than the stuff available in the shops."

Bernard: "It's native American based stuff isn't it?"

Johnny: "It's a weird mix of native American, outdoor wear, Mod and other bits. It's been a labour of love for 2 years. It's an ideological experiment because it's like a band. If you keep the ideas pure and the enthusiasm up, then people realise it's not a corporate thing."

Ric Romo asks: "Do you have any plans to tour the US? Most notably, the state of Texas? We would love to see two legends down here."

Bernard: "It all depends on whether we can afford to do it is the honest answer. It costs a lot of money to do it. I love Texas, I've played there a lot with New Order but it all depends on the money."

Johnny: "I really enjoyed playing Dallas and Houston with The The. It would be great to play there again."

Davor Croatia asks: "Which songs or albums, that you've heard lately, have you thought were really good?"

Bernard: "I bought five albums the other week. Placebo's new album, Faithless, Beck, Serge Gainsbourg and a very old Fleetwood Mac featuring Peter Green. I really like Peter Green."

Johnny: "He's got a great voice."

Bernard: "My favourite album is Fatboy Slim."

Johnny: "I really like Mogwai and Badly Drawn Boy."

Bernard: "I liked the UNKLE album, particularly the Ian Brown track."

Johnny: "I like the Blue Note re-issues, The Nugget Psychedelic Box Set and also Celine Dion."

Dave Briggs asks: "What's the story behind you using a picture of Rasputin on your album sleeve?"

Bernard: "We're big fans of Boney M. I've always loved Ra Ra Rasputin. We liked the photograph and that's the only reason. We're not that interested in Rasputin. We just like the intense gaze he has. I saw a film about him and I reckon the guy got a bum rap. He cured the Tsar's son and spent the rest of the time having intimate relations with all the ladies in waiting...and what's wrong with that."

Dan 55 asks: "Bernard, how about a repeat gig at Alexandra Palace for the millennium? Last year was storming!"

Bernard: "The next priority for New Order is to write some new material which we'll be doing in the mid to late summer, that'll come out in the year 2000. That's the priority at the moment, although I really enjoyed the Ally Pally gig."

Johnny: "I'm staying in to watch the telly. I may go to Northern Australia for a couple of weeks."

Bernard: "The Ally Pally gig...we almost pulled it when Steve found out we were going on stage at midnight and he wanted to be in bed!"

Dave Goodwood asks: "A question for Johnny - what are your personal feelings about the court case with Mike Joyce?"

Johnny: "I feel that it was ugly and unnecessary. A real shame that over the last few years I've been asked more about that case than the songs I've produced. Midway through the case, I really did feel that I wanted to stop the case and get everyone to agree that we did have a good time in The Smiths after all."

"I don't hold an animosity to anyone but it was such a shame. On a personal level, I wish them luck, but they've got personal agendas that I can't relate to."

pank-art asks: "What do we have to do to get you guys for an interview for our radio station in Turkey?"

Johnny: "If it's on a boat and it's two weeks long then sure.

© BBC Worldwide Ltd. (Text thanks to worldinmotion.net)