#Stevexreader

[jjwantsme]

Dear Billy,

s.h

Pairing: steve harrington x mayfield!exgirlfriend!reader

Summary: y/n never had an easy life- and vecna certainly has no intention to make it any easier.

Warning: basically the reader goes through everything in ep4 instead of max, i changed a few details, max doesnt exist in this!!, wayyyy too long, not proof read, cussing, mentions of death, mentions of trauma, mentions of suicidal thoughts, angsty angst angst!!!,sad steeb, depressed reader, lmk if im missing anything!!!

authors note: i rlly love this :,) lmk if ud like a part 2. I was rewatching season4 and this idea hit me like a fucking truck. Also sorry if this is ass😭

masterlist

Nancy and Robin ran into the closed high school, quickly making their way to the counselor office steve mentioned.

They didn’t know exactly what was going on, or how to fix it, but they knew y/n was in trouble; and that was enough to make them worry.

Y/n had been Robin’s best friend for years now, she was the first person to know her sexuality and the first person to validate her identity as whole. Knowing she could be in danger made Robin’s hands shake, and it wasn’t a feeling she could get used to.

“It was here. Right here!” Y/n testified to the friend group as they stared at a brick wall, trying to imagine what she might have seen. “A grandfather clock?” Nancy raised her eyebrows at the girl, her tone indicating that she was having some trouble believing the story.

Y/n and nancy had a…complicated friendship- if you could even call it that. Both of them being ex-lovers of steve definitely rose tension between them, unspoken tension, which happened to be the worst possible kind. Y/n hoped that maybe things would change after she left steve, maybe nancy would stop side-eyeing her in class and purposely ignoring her when the group met up. But, same as always, there was no truce. What more could she possibly want?

“it was so real,” y/n’s voice shook, “and then when i got closer, suddenly it just-…i woke up.”

“It was like she was in a…trance, or something.” Dustin cut in, “Exactly what Eddie said happened to Chrissy.”

Steve stayed quiet, just looking at the back of y/n’s head. He met her in the fall of ‘84, much to dustin’s assistance. He introduced the two of them when they needed her help creatinf a trap, and he swears he could immediately see the hearts in ole’ steve’s eyes.

Y/n, on the other hand, didn’t give in as quickly. She came from a broken home, didn’t trust people as easily. It wasn’t until Christmas that she let him have her number. And it wasn’t until all the way in spring of ‘85 when she finally let the poor boy be her boyfriend.

Even when they broke up, steve still cared way too much for her- and he would do anything to prove it…even if it meant having to kick vecna’s ass.

“Okay, be honest, uh,” Steve sighed, “do you guys understand any of this?”

Him, Dustin, and Lucas had been studying old articles for hours now, desperately trying to find clues on how to avoid y/n becoming the next victim.

Steve would be lying if he said this was his ideal morning routine, but, it was worth it to save his girl.

“No.” Lucas exasperated, obviously exhausted.

“Pretty straightforward.” Dustin shrugged.

Steve scoffed, “Oh, straightforward? Really?”

“Well, what’s confusing to you?” The younger boy sat up, “So far, everyone vecna has cursed has died- except for this old Victor Creel dude that Nancy found. He’s the only known survivor! If anyone knows how to beat this curse, it’s him!”

“Okay, yeah well that’s assuming he was cursed, Henderson, which we don’t even know. How can vecna have existed in the ‘50s? It doesn’t make sense.” Steve rubbed forehead in distress.

Dustin looked at him like he was an idiot, which wasn’t too far from the truth, “Far as we know, Eleven didn’t create the upside down- she opened a gate to it.”

Steve looked at him now, starting to piece the puzzle together.

“The upside down has probably been around for thousands of years!”

Steve just shook his head, sitting in a chair as he was too emotionally and psychically exhausted to have a scientific debate with Dustin Henderson.

Dustin leaned over a little to get a better look at y/n, before looking over at the other two boys, “any idea what she’s writing?”

Steve turned around to get a better look at her.

“Did she sleep?”

“I mean…would you?”

Steve looked down before turning back around, looking down at the newspaper and pretending to flip through the pages just to distract himself.

He felt useless. His angel was going to die. His angel would be taking her last breaths, and he had absolutely no idea how to stop it. Hell, he didn’t even know if it was possible to stop it!

He promised her he’d her safe when they were dating, and he swore to keep that promise even after they broke up. But now that promise was slowly being broken into pieces, and no matter what steve did, he couldn’t put them back together.

Y/n quickly finished the sentence she was writing, before pausing her movements as she felt glares on her. “I know you guys are staring at me.”

“What, sorry?”

“You said you needed something?”

“Just hanging out.” Steve fiddled with a tennis ball in his hands

Y/n sighed, collecting all of her letters, “How you think your eyes boring into the back of my head is protecting me from vecna? I don’t know.”

Y/n stood up and walked towards them as she shuffled the envelopes, her eyes shifting towards them when she noticed they were still dilly-dallying. “You can look at me now.”

“Thank you, sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

“For you,” she handed an envelope to dustin.

“For you,” she handed another to lucas.

“And, um…you.” She handed one more to steve, trying her best not to meet his eyes., “Oh, and uhm, gives these to mike, el, and will- if you can ever get ahold of them again.”

Her eyes went wide as she watched dustin begin to open his, “hey, no, what are you doing?! No, don’t- that’s not for now, don’t open it now!”

Dustin slowly nodded, “Okay…i’m sorry, what is this?”

“It’s um…it’s a fail safe. Y’know, for after…if things don’t work out.” Y/n sniffled as she explained.

Steve immediately shook his head, placing his gifted envelope on the coffee table, “wait, woah. Y/n…things are gonna work out,”

“No.” She cut him off, “No, okay, i don’t need you to reassure me right now and tell me that it’s all gonna work out, because people have been telling me that my entire life and it’s almost never true. It’s never true!

Steve deflated into his seat, feeling like another part of the promise had just been broken off in front of him.

“I mean, of course this asshole curses me.” She looked at steve then back at the floor, “I should’ve seen that one coming.”

Steve couldn’t help but feel like her little rant was directed more towards him than anyone else. He was the one who told her that everything would be okay, that billy would be saved and their family would stay secure. He didn’t even know it, but he had lied to her.

It wasn’t too long after that when she broke up with him. It was too much- the grief, the depression, watching her step-dad leave them with nothing. Her life was falling apart, and even steve couldn’t fix that.

Steve was never cold to her, even after everything was said and done. He still tried to say hey to her when he they ran in to each other on the street, invite her to basketball games when he knew robin would be there. She turned him down though. Every single time. But he didn’t really care.

He couldn’t give up on her. He just couldn’t.

Y/n looked at the walkie-talkie and picked it up, “hey, if we go to East Hawkins will this still pick up Pennhurst?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Steve shook his head, “wait, why are we talking about East Hawkins?”

Y/n moved her eyes to him.

“No.”

She ignored his decline and started trotting up the stairs. Steve groaned and followed after her, the boys not far behind him.

“Y/n! Y/n, seriously, i’m not joking, okay? I’m not driving you anywhere!”

She just huffed in reply, “Steve, if you think i’m going to spend what is likely the last day of my life in the armpit that is Nancy Wheeler’s basement, then you’re out of your mind.”

They followed y/n all the way outside and to steve’s car- and by this point it was evident that she won the argument.

She went to open the door but frowned when she discovered that it was locked shut. She turned to her ex-boyfriend, “Open the door.”

“Uh, no.”

“Please, steve.”

Steve looked at her for a second. Those eyes. Those goddamn doe eyes. Lord, he gives in every time.

He sighed and unlocked the car before getting in, “Henderson, that little super-walkie of yours, better reach Pennhurst.”

Steve stopped his car at the graveyard, as y/n requested, and she wasted no time getting out of the car.

“Y/n!” Steve got out to chase after her.

“Steve, please, just stay in the car!”

“Y/n, just wait,” he caught up to her, “just listen to me, just, please!”

Y/n stayed in her place and looked at him, indicating that he was allowed to speak.

“I…I know you’ve something happened back there with your mother…was it vecna?”

Y/n sighed and looked away. He was right. It was vecna. And it wasn’t a very pleasant visit, either.

“I told you, i’m fine. Okay? I mean, as fine as someone who’s hurtling towards a gruesome death can be.”

“Y/n…” he grabbed her hand, “you know you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, sure, i know that.”

“Okay, then why do you keep pushing me away? Y/n, I love you,”

Y/n shook her head, “Stop saying that.”

“I do, y/n, I do love you! I don’t need a letter- I don’t want a letter, just talk to me. To your friends. We’re right here…” he paused and sighed, intertwining their fingers, “I’m right here. Okay? I’m here.”

Y/n let a tear slide down her cheek and looked back into his eyes, “Just…wait in the car, this won’t be long.”

Steve felt another piece break as she let go of his hand and continued walking in the other direction, leaving him behind.

Y/n sat cross-legged in-front of her older brother’s grave, and opened his envelope as more chilling tears flowed down her cheeks.

“Dear billy,” she took a deep breath.

“I don’t know if you can even hear this. Two years ago i would’ve said ‘That’s ridiculous, impossible’- but that’s before I found out about alternate dimensions and monsters, so I’m just going to stop assuming that i know anything. So much has happened since you left. Your dad was a total mess. He and my mom started getting into fights…b-bad fights. I don’t think he could stand being here without you, so he left. And he didn’t leave mom much. She’s taken an extra job, and we moved to that lovely trailer off Kerley. I broke up with Steve, and started avoiding him like the plague. Basically, ever since you left, everything’s been a…total disaster. And the worst part is, I can’t tell anyone why you’re gone. I play the moment you died back in my head all the time, and sometimes I imagine myself running to you and pulling you away.” She took a breath to wipe away her tears with her sleeve.

“I imagine that if i had, you would still be here, and everything would be…” she let out a sob, “everything would be right again. We would’ve become friends- good friends, like a real brother and sister. I would still be with steve and y’all would become close, and you would be his best man at our wedding. And I know that’s stupid. You hated me, I hated you. But I thought that maybe…maybe we could try again. But that’s not what happened. I just stood there and I watched.”

She let out another sob, “For a while, i tried to be happy, normal. But I…I think that maybe a part of me died that day too- and i haven’t told anyone this, not even steve. I-I just can’t. But I had to tell you, before it’s too late. If you can even hear this. I really hope that you can. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Billy. Love, your annoying shitty little sister, Y/n.”

She began putting the envelope back, when suddenly she saw dark cloud crowd above her and a wicked chuckle, wind blowing through her hair.

“Y/n.”

Steve impatiently tapped his finger against his car door before checking his watch and getting up, “Alright, it’d been long enough,”

“Steve, just give her some time,”

“I have, alright, Sinclair?! I’m calling it, if she wants to yell at me, she can.”

Steve jogged towards where he saw her sitting, “Y/n! Time to giddy-up, yeah?”

His breath shook when he noticed how she didn’t move an inch, “Y/n…”

He felt tears in his eyes and shook her shoulder when he saw her eyes white-out, “Y/n, y/n!”

“I’ve been waiting to hear those words, y/n. Waiting so very long.”

Y/n gulped as she watched her deceased older brother walk towards her, “But it wasn’t the full truth, was it, y/n?”

He wiped a tear from her cheek, “Y’know, I think there’s a part of you, buried somewhere deep, that wanted me to die that day. You were maybe even relieved, happy.”

“B-Billy, no, that’s not true,”

“That’s why you stood there, isn’t it, y/n?” He tilted his head, “It’s okay, you can admit it now. No more lies. No more hiding.”

“Billy, that’s not true, I swear, I swear it’s not true,” She kept shaking her head.

“That is why you feel such guilt, why you hide from steve, from your friends, from the world- and why, late at night, you have sometimes wished to follow me. To follow me into death. That is why I am here, max. To end your suffering, once and for all.”

“No!” Y/n cried, breathing heavily as she ran the other way, as fast as she could.

She didn’t get very far, though, as she felt something wrap around her ankle and pull her towards an evil being, one that she assumed was vecna himself.

“Shit!”

It pulled her until cornering her onto a pillard, wrapping around her arms and legs until she couldn’t move.

Suddenly, she felt confusion as she heard her favorite song fill her ears.

She looked in the distsnce and saw the boys, yelling at her to come down.

“They can’t help you, y/n,” vecna’s deep voice startled her, “there’s a reason you hide from him, a reason you left him. You don’t belong with him. You belong here with me.”

“You’re not really here,” y/n struggled to rasp out, her throat closing due to the pressure around it.

“Oh, but I am, y/n. I am.” He rested her hand above her face.

She let out a cry as her life began flashing before her eyes.

Moving to Hawkins.

Meeting dustin and lucas at the skatepark.

Meeting steve.

Teaching eleven how to braid hair

Her first kiss with steve, in the front seat of his car.

Steve asking her out, sealing their relationship with a kiss.

Steve holding her while she cried, kissing her head.

Y/n processed it all as she noticed her left arm being freed, and she didn’t think twice before ripping out one of his tentacles, making him wince and let go of her.

She let out a breath and quickly got up to run, going as fast as she could as she tried her best to avoid obstacles as she headed towards the hole where she could see Steve and the boys.

She didn’t think she would make it.

But then, she was back, she opened her eyes and she was back in Steve’s arms.

“Y/n!”

“Y/n, oh my god!”

Steve wrapped his arms around her tightly as they both panted, “I thought we lost you, I thought I lost you.”

“I’m still here!” Y/n cried out in between breaths, grabbing one of his hands, “I’m still here.”

[rightbrainboredom]

Steve Rogers Fanfic

Hello new friends! It's been recommended to me that I start posting my Steve Rogers fic here because here is where all the potential new friends are. So I'm gonna post the links for the first chapter, I post on Quotev and Archive of Our Own (AO3), and then I'll make update posts whenever I post a new chapter. Feel free to message me or comment any questions or thoughts you have. I'd love to hear from any and all of you.

[chelseeebe]

come pick me up.

part one to do you think i have forgotten (about you)

summary: it had always been you and eddie. but one night and a whole lotta unexplored feelings leave you both reeling and you’re not sure if it ever really was you and eddie.

a/n: ermm this is so so long i’m so sorry already LOL i’ve had it in the drafts for so long but i reread it n rlly liked it so i wanna post hehe! side note: there are ZERO pictures of eddie not in that fuckin hellfire shirt D: i can’t have a grown man wearing that now …

loosely based off of the cook/freddie/effy storyline from skins uk if you’ve seen it you’ll know.,,, they’re like in their early twenties n it’s set sometime in the 90s ish tho it’s not rlly mentioned

no use of y/n! smut, 18+. this is more so stevexreader than eddie but they do have a relationship of sorts n it’s a lil’ complicated.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ❤︎ ❤︎ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

the sound of a high pitched alarm screaming jolts you awake. still partially in last nights clothes, the grubby feel of makeup on your face. leg slung over eddie’s torso.

you groan, shoving his arm as he’s still very much asleep, ‘shut up,’ grimacing as the noise continues.

he mumbles something, wildly slapping his arm about to turn off the damn thing.

you run a hand over your face, remnants of your black eyeliner on your hand. that horrid taste in your mouth only found after a night of drinking. which seemed to be just about every night at the moment.

‘why’d you set an alarm, you freak?’ rolling over onto your stomach, perched on your elbows, watching as his eyes slowly open, obviously feeling as shit as you did.

‘i have- had class, you freak,’ he grumbles, looking up at you from the pillow, curly hair fanned out around him.

you scoff, ‘like you were gonna go,’ attempting to rub the rest of your mascara off, sure you looked similar to a wild raccoon.

he hums in response, shuffling under the covers to tangle his leg with your yours, ‘you gonna sort this out for me?’ referring to the obvious morning glory tenting the blanket.

‘you gonna ask nicely?’ you respond, snarling at his crudeness.

whatever he was about to say was interrupted with a knock at the door, ‘we’re coming in, you have five seconds to not be naked,’ robin’s voice echoes.

you look up as robin walks into the room, hand over her eyes until steve gives her a small nudge, indicating the coast is clear, ‘oh good-,’ she sniffs, ‘it smells like weed and sex in here, you’re fucking disgusting.’

‘thanks for reminding me,’ eddie leans over, retrieving the half-smoked spliff from last night and lighting the end.

steve’s eyes are firmly on yours, kinda sad and defeated. he had that same look on his face whenever you and eddie were together, which was often.

you’d sort of always had this.. thing with steve. encapsulated by his presence. there was always something unspoken between you and you were never sure if it was because he hated you or not. small glances and touches that seemed to linger just a bit too long.

you’d sorta taken his best friend from him at one point, coming between their friendship suddenly and with no warning.

steve was intrigued by you too. this mystical, unobtainable persona you presented to the world. something he couldn’t crack. just couldn’t quite understand it.

‘we’re getting breakfast, i was going to ask if you wanted to join but i assume that won’t be happening,’ she raises her eyebrows, noticing your severely hungover state.

they liked to party too, just clearly not as much as you and eddie. both of you had no understanding of when to call it a night, egging each other on til the point of no return.

‘i think we’ll give that a miss,’ eddie’s answers for the both of you. steve’s eyes immediately look down, suddenly interesting in the burn marks in eddie’s carpet.

you’d actually met steve first, on the first day of classes in freshmen year. you went over to a sheepish steve, who looked slightly scared, and obviously lost. offering him the directions to his room.

he’d smiled back, introducing himself to you on the way. appreciative of your kindness. you probably wouldn’t have helped if he didn’t look like that, but still, it was nice.

that’s when eddie had bounded over, all hair and denim. loudly taking over your conversation, introducing himself with a smirk, hand already creeping onto your lower back. that’s when steve had nodded towards him and informed you of their already established friendship.

you weren’t really sure when it became you and eddie. well, it wasn’t. not officially. god, you didn’t want official. he was fun to fuck and even better to party with. maybe the fact he dealt had been a factor in solidifying your strange relationship. maybe not.

robin rolls her eyes, ‘right, well you boring fucks can rot in bed all day, suit yourselves,’ ushering steve out of the door, slamming it behind her.

you blink, hating this awful, guilty feeling steve always left in your stomach. you’d tear a guy like him to shreds, maybe it was for the best.

whatever self-wallowing, steve-centric thoughts you had are interrupted when eddie’s arm snakes around your back, pulling you onto him.

‘i still need a little assistance here,’ he grins from beneath you, running his hand down your back, firmly grasping your exposed ass as you clamber on top properly.

you try your damn hardest to push the reflecting image of steve from your mind. though it doesn’t quite work until eddie’s calloused palm softly taps against your cheek, ‘anyone in there?’

you frown, returning the playful slap as you grind mindlessly against him, his fingers digging into the pliant skin of your ass.

‘you can do that again.’

-

eddie hadn’t shut up about his birthday for weeks. you’d all planned to go to the same bar you went to most weekends, except this time everyone had to go and he got to be centre of attention.

he’d been pissing you off all night. obviously far too drunk, jaw clenching from the copious amounts of shit he’d sniffed. hanging from your shoulder, speaking over you and splashing beer down your top as he slurred through his words.

‘i think we’re gonna head home,’ steve speaks up when you exit the bar, eddie already looking for the next place.

‘whaat? you’re fucking boring,’ he pokes a finger into steve’s chest, far too intoxicated, ‘you’re staying out, right?’ he looks over to jonathan, argyle and nancy who also shared an apartment not far from yours.

‘nah man.. it’s late, it’s been fun though,’ jonathan shrugs as nancy finds a taxi to take them home.

‘fuuuck you guys are really ditching me on my birthday? at least you won’t let me down,’ his arm hooks around your shoulder, yanking you into him.

you pull back, which wasn’t particularly hard in his state, ‘get off of me.. can i get a ride with you?’ looking over at steve, his hands cautiously poking out of his pockets.

he nods sheepishly as eddie practically erupts, ‘it’s my fucking birthday, and you fucking losers are going home?’ he’s screeching, throwing his arms around, making a royal scene in the middle of the street.

robin finds a cab willing to take the group of you home, calling you over to the yellow vehicle, ‘eddie let’s just go home, it’s late,’ attempting to coax him into going with you. you’d deal with his shit in the privacy of his bedroom.

he laughs, turning away from you and walking up the dimly lit street, ‘you.. you can get fucked,’ he slurs, disappearing into a nearby bar.

steve stands at the cab door, watching as you frown at eddie’s back. internally deciding whether to give in and follow him or to leave like you’d originally planned.

you let out an exasperated sigh, ‘he can go fuck himself,’ you spit as you slide into the back of the cab. steve follows, shutting the door behind him, flashing you a small cautious look as the cab pulls off.

-

you collapse onto the sofa the second you set foot in the apartment. completely at your wits end with eddie and his the way he spoke to you.

‘i’m going to bed,’ robin announces, slinking into her own room, leaving steve to awkwardly linger in the living room.

you didn’t want to worry about eddie. he was a grown man who could definitely handle his own. besides, why should you when he’d explicitly told you to fuck off?

steve clears his throat before taking the empty seat beside you, ‘he didn’t mean it.. it’s just drunk talking,’ he nods, attempting to reassure you.

it wasn’t as if you were really upset about it all. more so annoyed that you’d let him treat you that way. continually. over and over again.

whatever the fuck was going on between the two of you had started to wear thin. there were only so many times you could put up with his shit before it got tired.

eddie could be a horrible drunk. it wasn’t often but when that version of him came out you’d prefer to be far far from it. he was cruel with his words, venomous as they rolled off his tongue. then you’d get into a screaming match and then either end up hate-fucking or you’d just both never bring it up again.

‘no, he did,’ you sigh, kicking the shoes from your feet with a thud, ‘i don’t care.. really.’

‘right,’ he nods, not totally believing you, ‘y’wanna smoke?’

a small smile creeps onto your face as he reaches for the small black box eddie kept on the table, pulling out a small baggie of weed, something eddie definitely wouldn’t miss. he didn’t even need your reply, beginning to roll up.

-

perhaps you’d smoked a little too much, sputtering on the final toke of your second or third spliff before handing it back to steve. he sits on the other side, an awful lot closer than he’d been originally.

it was quiet, but comfortable. not awkward at all.

‘y’know..’ he speaks up, looking over at you, ‘actually.. nah,’ changing his mind almost immediately.

‘no.. what? what were you gonna say?’ you furrow your brows, vision hazy, the room full of grey smoke.

he sort of chuckles to himself, stubbing the end of the joint out in the glass ashtray before looking at you again, ‘it’s stupid,’ he warns.

‘even better.. tell me,’ you nod, encouraging him to go on.

he pauses for a moment, a tiny smile on his pink lips, ‘i always thought.. well, that you and me were gonna end up together, i thought you liked me for the longest time,’ shaking his head as he looks down.

your heart thuds. a mixture of your high and the unidentifiable emotion coursing through your veins. there was no questions to being with eddie. it was simple, sex and parties. no complicated feelings involved.

but within a second, steve had completely changed everything. a feeling you’d suppressed since your situationship with eddie had started. completely convinced that the odd relationship you had with steve was just because you were banging his best friend.

‘i didn’t.. i didn’t know you felt like that..’ you manage to get out quietly, watching as he slowly stands up, he doesn’t look at you once. too ashamed, embarrassed that he’d just admitted everything to you so easily.

‘well, now you know,’ he says quietly before disappearing into his room.

you linger on the couch for a moment. unsure of what to think of anything he’d just said. whether you should knock on his door and tell him you’d felt the same or just go off to your own room and wait for eddie to crawl in.

it wasn’t as if you felt nothing at all for eddie. you did, of course. but you didn’t love him. not the way you maybe should’ve. not the way you felt about steve, his gentle nature and soft caramel tinted eyes.

you stand from the couch, feet taking control as you walk to his door. a small slither of orange light peaking from underneath. raising your fist to knock but stopping, arguing with yourself. this couldn’t be a good idea.

before you can even convince yourself to knock, the door opens. steve stands on the other side, his own chest heaving as your eyes meet.

‘i-,’ he croaks, but you cut him off with your lips, pulling back just as quickly as you’d moved forwards.

you stare at him for a few moments, swallowing all the courage you’d just worked up.

‘..now you know,’ giving him a meek smile before walking back to your room. you lean back against the door, heart beating a million miles an hour.

-

a repetitive banging sound forces you awake in the morning. hissing as the sounds of an extremely dramatic moan get louder. high-pitched and obviously put on.

it takes a moment for you to realise just where the noise is coming from. eddie’s room backs onto yours. the headboard colliding with the wall at an alarming pace.

you stumble out of bed, throwing on an old dirty sweater and groggily making your way into the living room.

steve sits slumped over the table, looking particularly miserable this morning. despite what had happened last night. you wondered if he’d told robin who sat scowling at the door. steam practically coming out of her ears.

her eyes widen as you appear in the doorway, rubbing the residual sleep from your eyes, eyes flitting between your frame and the wooden door.

‘well shit, i was about to cuss you out,’ she remarks, astonished that you were stood in front of her.

steve’s whole face brightens when he realises you’re stood in front of him and not in the room making those god-awful, oscar worthy noises.

‘if that’s not you.. who the fuck is in there?’ robin gasps, now utterly bemused by the entire situation.

you shrug, choosing the seat opposite steve, making brief eye contact and flashing him a small smile. would he bring up last night? or was it never to be spoken about again?

relief is written all over his face. obviously under the impression that you’d made up with eddie at some point in the night. not once checking that you were in your room.

‘jesus christ i’m gonna kill him,’ robin fumes, sipping on a mug of coffee. her eyes are narrowed, attempting to set the room ablaze with her mind.

‘it won’t last long,’ you add, reaching over to steal a slice of steve’s buttered toast. he lets you, obviously. letting out a soft snort at your joke.

‘nothing is that good,’ robin shakes her head.

the noises quieten, a shrill giggle coming from the hallway as a scantily clad blonde appears in the doorway, closely followed by eddie, sporting a pair of boxers that hid absolutely nothing.

‘that way,’ he groans, guiding the smiling woman away towards the bathroom. his eyes momentarily meeting yours, total venom behind his glare.

robin jumps up, splashing coffee over the floor, ‘don’t you dare think about fucking in my bathroom,’ she warns, chasing after the odd couple.

you can hear an altercation as presumably eddie slams the bathroom door on robin, her fists pounding against the wood, hollering about her new bath mat.

steve glances at you, searching your face for any type of reaction. he doesn't find anything, instead you smile softly as robin re-enters the room, cursing at the bastard freak. she grabs her bag, slinging it onto her shoulder before stomping over to the door.

'i'm going out, let me know when he's done with his weird exhibitionist routine,' slamming the door as she exits, the poorly built walls shaking as she does.

there's a faint sound of running water, obviously coming from the bathroom, closely followed by a series of questionable grunts and groans. you choose to try and block it out, though engaging in conversation with steve at this very moment seemed almost too awkward.

'did you tell robin?' you pipe up, playing with your fingernails as you just about meet his gaze.

'uh.. yeah,' he grimaces slightly, 'i-i just thought.. well i thought that was you this morning, i was.. confused,' apologetic for his blunder.

you nod, 'i don't care.. i just wanna prepare for the inevitable grilling i'm gonna get,' chuckling in an attempt to ease the tension. it works as his lips curl into a small, playing with the discarded crusts on his plate.

the god-awful noises from the bathroom worsen and your eyes are pulled from steve, looking towards the cause. perhaps this was eddie's way of making you jealous. revenge for choosing to go home and not put up with his drunken assholery.

-

you’re sat tracing patterns into the velvet fabric of the sofa, practically shaking as you wait for steve to get back from campus.

he was your friend for fuck sake. why was this so nerve wracking? ask him to hang out, if he says no then so be it. you’ll deal with the awkwardness of your shared kiss alongside eddie’s misguided anger.

he’s later than you’d expected. becoming far too engrossed in the random soap opera on the tv when he does eventually get back. almost forgetting about what you’d got yourself so worked up over.

‘hey,’ waving his fingers as he comes in.

christ, he almost seemed more nervous than you were.

‘hey,’ not wanting to jump down his throat the second he walked in the door, turning the tv off and running your palms down the sofa.

‘spoken to eddie?’ he asks curiously, slinging his bag from his shoulder and slumping down next to you on the couch.

‘nah.. he went out this morning and hasn’t been back,’ you shrug, wishing that he wouldn’t have just bought that prick up.

he nods, looking down at his jeans, finding a loose thread to play with.

‘would yo-,’

‘d’ya wanna-,’

you both start at the same time, stopping to let him continue except he’d done the same thing. sitting in the silence for a brief moment.

you chuckle nervously, ‘sorry, what were you saying?’

‘i was just gonna ask if you wanted to.. maybe do something tonight? if- if you’re not busy,’ shrugging it off, trying his hardest to play it cool.

‘oh,’ laughing softly, the pair of you were like nervy teenagers, comical, ‘i was gonna ask you the same thing.. yeah i’d love to.’

steve grins, transported back to freshman year of high school, trying to find the gall to ask tammy thompson to the fucking movies. it all seemed so childish, innocent, the way you melted around each other.

‘okay.. i’ll get changed, give me five,’ he nods, leaping from the sofa and speeding off to his room.

you bite down onto your bottom lip, trying to contain your smile. kicking yourself for the adolescent excitement it gave you.

-

the bar was packed for a wednesday night, steve shouldering his way through the crowd with you following closely behind. not brave enough to cling onto his hand, wrapping your fingers around his forearm instead.

‘jesus christ,’ he exclaims when he finds a spot just about big enough for you both to stand. you were close. closer than you’d ever been. at least in public.

you hold onto the glass bottle he’d passed you from the bar, ‘d’ya wanna go somewhere else?’

‘what?’ he shouts, the music too loud to hear you properly.

you lean in closer, lips brushing against his ear, the feeling makes your heart pound, ‘you wanna go somewhere else?’

placing his hand on your arm so he could shout back, the mixture of his cologne and beer filling your nose. it was intoxicating, making your head giddy.

‘i’m good if you are,’ wisps of his hair sweeping against your cheek.

you nod, beaming up at him as you take a swig of the harsh beer. the crowd seemingly disappearing from around you as his eyes focus on you, his own smile overcoming his face.

-

okay, perhaps you’d had a little too much to drink. but a little dutch confidence never hurt anyone.

you’re definitely not complaining when you grab his hand on the way out of the bar, quickly intertwining your fingers as he weaves his way to the door. still as packed as when you’d got there.

you giggle as he trips over the step coming into the bar, sending you flying into his back as he regains his balance.

his hand is quick to steady you, resting on your waist. the street light illuminating the gleam of his eyes, slightly glossy from the multiple beers he’d sunk inside.

a drunk student roars past you, snapping you out of the moment, steve’s hand still lingering on your waist. something that would’ve never happened if he were sober.

‘shall we go home?’ you ask, not breaking from his gaze.

he nods, moving his hand to offer it out for you to grab. leading you over to an empty cab, leaning through the front window to talk to the driver.

the drive home is heavy with tension. sitting in silence as steve makes polite conversation with the driver, fingers still wrapped around yours. heart thumping as you near your street.

the apartment dark and silent when you get in, the only light coming from the old fairy lights robin had hung around the room. there’s no hesitation, your hands grabbing his cheeks, smashing your lips to his the second the front door closes.

it takes a moment for him to realise what was happening, hands quickly finding solace on the small of your back when it clicks properly. it’s greedy and desperate, tongue sliding into his mouth, wanting to touch every inch of him.

hands sliding down his chest, grabbing at the fabric, his leg slotting between yours, guiding you backwards. straight into the coffee table with a bang.

you spring apart, eyeing eddie’s room cautiously, saying a silent prayer and hoping he didn’t come out.

steve’s eager to resume, eyes hungry as they flit between eddie’s door and your face.

you pull back completely, taking your lip between your teeth and hooking your finger around his pinky, leading the way to his bedroom. it was the furthest away from eddie’s and made the most sense.

he shuts the door gently, flicking the small bedside lamp on, illuminating the obvious tent in his jeans. your mouth falling open at the sight of it, rubbing your thighs together to try and satiate the growing throbbing.

you’re quick to resume the kiss, moving on him swiftly, connecting your lips in a passionate kiss. he collapses backwards onto the bed, your body falling on top of his chest, hands caressing his cheeks.

the next moment you find yourself underneath steve, pressed into the mattress as he holds himself above you. eager hands finding the short hem of your skirt and sliding underneath on the soft skin of your thighs. you had never seen him move with such confidence before, normally a little shy in the way he carried himself.

his finger hooks into the waistband of your lacy panties, tugging them down to your thighs. his growing erection digging into your core with every movement. moaning into his mouth when his finger begins circling your sensitive clit. this had definitely killed any and all assumptions that he was a virgin.

it’s as if he had been waiting for this very moment for his entire life, sliding his fingers between your folds and into your already soaking hole, your mouth falling from his as your head rolls back onto the pillow.

‘oh my god,’ a breathy moan escaping from your lips as his fingers pump in and out, his other hand causing a dip in the pillow next to your head.

his fingers slip out of you and begin to unbuckle his belt, barely getting them down and around his legs before his cock springs up. bigger than you ever could’ve imagined, mouth hung open as your peer down between your bodies.

your shirt is pulled off over your head so quickly you weren’t sure if you had blinked, landing on the floor alongside his with a soft thunk.

you draw your eyes back up to meet his once more, ‘you’re sure?’ he reaffirms, pupils dilated, wetting his lips with his pink tongue.

‘so sure,’ nodding encouragingly underneath him, readjusting your legs to loosely wrap around his torso. you’d never been more sure of anything in your life.

he returns the nod, positioning himself at your sopping entrance and without breaking eye contact he slides in with a sharp intake of breath. you can’t contain the whimper that collects in your throat, the stretch of his cock taking you by surprise. the sting felt good, like he was always supposed to be there between your legs.

he’s still, waiting for your encouragement to move. you give it in the form of a squeeze on the back of his neck, clinging on to the skin as his hips move slowly. low, hungry grunts roll from his lips, the bed frame creaking in time with his thrusts.

‘fuck,’ you breathe out, taking your bottom lip between your teeth acutely aware that eddie was only a few doors away and could definitely hear the happenings in the room. even if you could manage to stifle yourself, the undeniable sounds of skin against skin would expose you.

‘is that- is that good?’ steve mumbles, moving slow but hitting deep, nudging against your soft spot, already hurtling you towards your orgasm.

‘jesus christ.. yes, yes,’ beginning to buck your hips back against him, feeling the familiar knot in your stomach. finger nails leaving crescent moon shapes in his skin as tears prick in your eyes.

steve groans as his heavy balls slap against the back of your thighs, pushing himself fully inside, ‘i’m not.. hmph.. not gonna last long,’ arm beginning to buckle with the weight of him.

you clench around him as your high topples over at his words, burying your face into the pillow next to you. unable to withhold the high pitched wail from leaving your mouth, barely managing to muffle the sound.

his rhythm falters, hips slamming into yours for the last few desperate pumps before he pulls himself out. thick ropes of cum spurting out and onto his hand. and the bed. and your thigh. crying out as his chest heaves above you.

‘holy shit,’ his arm gives way and he ends up next to you on the mattress, panting for air as he reaches for a dirty shirt on the floor, using the first thing he could find to clean off his hand.

you turn your head to face him, a lazy smile on your face as he offers the shirt out to you, mouthing a small sorry.

he throws it to the other side of the room, running a hand over his damp face, ‘i uh.. i last way longer normally,’ bashful and doubting his performance. it was only because it was you.

‘steve,’ you smile, grabbing his blanket to pull over your body, ‘don’t do that,’ seeing the shy boy from once before, you much preferred the steve from earlier.. confident and sure of himself.

‘yeah.. sorry,’ his lips curling into a soft smile, turning his body towards yours, arm snaking out to pull you closer, clammy palm resting on the small of your back.

you giggle quietly in response, settling in to your new position, sharing the blanket with him.

your eyes don’t leave each other’s as he begins to babble about something from the bar, clinging onto your skin as if you were somehow going to slip away.

-

you hadn’t even realised that you’d fallen asleep in steve’s room.

so when eddie comes in unannounced in the early morning, you thank your lucky stars that you’re facing the wall with steve’s body hiding yours. shoving your face into the pillow to hide yourself, hair sprawled around you, helping your case.

‘yo.. bro,’ he whispers, stepping into the room and over a pile of clothes, ‘good night?’ he cocks his eyebrow at steve as he turns around, glaring at the interruption.

‘uh.. yeah yeah,’ steve panics, realising what eddie had walked into and the chaos that’d ensue if he figured it out, his arm tightens around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.

‘sounded like it,’ eddie chuckles, shaking his boot to rid it of the discarded shirt on the floor, ‘look, have you got ten bucks? i can give it back tomorrow,’ he bargains, smiling at steve.

‘yeah.. yeah, my wallet’s on the desk,’ steve nods towards the desk, adjusting himself to make sure he was covering you when eddie stomps over to the desk.

ten dollars was a worthy sacrifice to not have to deal with eddie’s temper tantrum in the morning. it wasn’t like he’d never find out. just not now.

‘thanks bro.. i’ll get it back to you tomorrow, hey,’ eddie rubs his stubbly face, ‘d’you know if dickhead’s in? i knocked but, uh.. no answer,’ quite obviously referring to you.

you have to resist the urge to sit up and cuss him out.

‘uhh.. no, no idea sorry,’ steve shakes his head apologetically, lying through his teeth.

‘alright well, have fun,’ wiggling his eyebrows as he exits, closing the door softly.

you exhale when the door clicks shut, though you stay in the same position, not entirely convinced he’s not stood outside the door listening.

‘don’t speak,’ you mouth to steve, who looks wearily at you until the front door closes and you fully turn to face him.

‘jesus christ,’ you breathe, ‘he doesn’t knock?’

‘usually he does.. i bet he wanted to see who was in here,’ his arm twitches, unsure of whether to keep clinging on to your waist or to remove it.

‘i mean,’ you shrug, ‘he’ll found out eventually, right?’ it was inevitable, especially as you were living together.

‘i s’pose.. you don’t care?’ taken aback by your nonchalance towards the situation.

‘not really.. i just don’t think he needs to know, not yet,’ you croak, he had literally just banged another chick practically right in front of you. any guilt you may have felt about the situation had disappeared.

‘yeah,’ he gives you a tired smile, nuzzling his head into the pillow, all soft and sweet.

‘i dunno about you but i’m going back to sleep, until at least lunch,’ your hand running along the curve of his bicep, mere inches away from each other.

he hums in response, his lingering arm pulling your waist closer, eyes drooping as sleep takes over.

-

you’re awoken again by the slam of the front door, robin leaving for work. letting steve know that everyone in the apartment could hear your late night activities.

steve grumbles, complaining about her heavy-handedness. you leer over at the alarm clock, wanting to get out of steve’s room before eddie gets back from work, making sure there were no possible chances of awkward questions this afternoon.

‘shit,’ you hiss, climbing over his still half-asleep body and grabbing whatever t-shirt you could find, pulling it on over your head, ‘eddie’s back in like five.. i’m gonna get out of here now, saves the aggro..,’ slipping into your discarded underwear.

‘right.. good idea,’ he mumbles, one arm folded underneath his pillow as he comes to fully.

you sprint out of there and into the kitchen, pouring a bowl of cereal when eddie strolls through the door, whistling some tune to himself. he glances at you before taking a seat at the cluttered dining table.

you don’t say a word, discarding your plan to sit at the table and instead tucking in to your cereal on the counter, pretending to read some flyer.

‘where were you last night?’ he asks, leaning back on the chair to get a full view of you, ‘i knocked on your door but..’ narrowing his eyes.

‘i was probably fuckin’ asleep,’ shoving another spoonful of cereal into your mouth, making brief eye contact with the man.

he squints, trying to figure out why that shirt was so fucking familiar. was it his? were you wearing his shirt in some weird goading way?

steve emerges from his room, shirtless and running a hand from his messy hair. eddie’s eyes flit between the shirt and steve. cogs slowly turning in his brain.

no. no the shirt wasn’t his.

it was the fucking shirt he’d kicked off of his foot when he’d stormed into steve’s room this morning. same boring design printed on the front.

on you.

from steve’s floor.

the night after steve had, very loudly, had a female friend over.

you’re oblivious, focussing on your bowl of soggy cornflakes as steve clatters around behind you. making his own bowl. neither of you looking at each other, making everything ten times more obvious.

‘you’re fuckin’ joking,’ he loudly proclaims, standing from the table, nearly sending the chair flying backwards.

your head shoots up, confused by what he had seemingly angered himself over now, ‘what?’ eyebrows knitted together as he storms over, mouth hung open in disbelief.

‘you fucked him?’ jabbing his finger at steve, ‘my best friend?’ arms flying around in anger.

you look to steve for some help, eddie positively fuming, his jaw clenched at your lack of an answer. in fact, your reaction, or lack thereof, had only solidified everything.

‘no,’ you eventually croak, ‘i- we-, that wasn’t me,’ stuttering for some excuse, though you know he didn’t buy a word of it.

eddie’s face twists up in a mix of anger and hurt, eyes glossing over as his lips tremble, ‘eddie-,’ steve begins, cut off as eddie storms out of the tiny kitchen, grabbing his wallet from the table and pausing when he opens the front door.

‘you deserve each other,’ he snarls before disappearing, shaking the walls with his violent slam of the door.

you stare at steve in silent disbelief, dropping the spoon into your discarded bowl. you’d predicted his reaction to go something along the lines of that, just not expecting it so soon. hoping to have prepared a solid speech in the meantime.

‘shit.’

‘it’s okay.. h-he was gonna find out eventually.. he’ll calm down,’ steve tries to soothe you, well aware that eddie held onto his anger, let it simmered until it all bubbled over and some poor soul got the brunt of months of rage.

you want to feel bad, feel guilty but when steve’s hand sits on top of yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze, it vanishes. his chestnut eyes providing a sense of comfort you’d never felt before.

-

you were used to eddie being out. missing in action for days on end. but by the fourth day of him not coming back to the apartment, the pit in your stomach starts to worsen.

the guilt had caught up to you, as if you were the one who had shoved him out of the door. you had, in a metaphorical sense.

the first few days were, nice. though you felt worse for even feeling that. but, you’d been hanging out with steve more. it was different to before, getting to know his personal quirks, the things that made him tick. something you would’ve brushed off before.

you were friends, sure. you hadn’t really had the opportunity to get to know him like this before. it would’ve felt like some sort of betrayal to eddie. even though in some ways the way it had come about now was much worse.

on the fifth day, you’re sat on the couch with steve. picking the hangnail from your finger, wincing as it started to bleed.

‘d’you think he might’ve gone home?’ you ask, looking up at steve who was spaced out next to you.

they were from the same small town, had started out sharing classes in high school and had since been friends. admittedly growing apart when you’d come into the picture. you’d heard stories from the others about how close they used to be, never apart, according to jonathan.

‘i dunno.. he hates hawkins,’ steve shrugs, seeing the worry spread across your face, ‘but i could call his uncle? see if he’s there?’

you nod, thumb in your mouth trying to pull off more of the sore skin. he gets up to grab his phone, already dialling the number when he comes back into the room.

‘hey! wayne.. it’s steve- yeah yeah, i’m good man.. i was just wondering if eddie was there? oh no, uh- well.. we haven’t heard from him in a few days, y’know what he’s like… sure, thanks man,’ clicking the button and ending the call.

he looks over at you, a pitying look on his face as he shakes his head no.

‘i’m sure he’s alright.. he’s dramatic, you know that,’ he collapses onto the couch, this time closer than before, nudging your elbow with a weak smile.

you were well versed with eddie’s dramatic personality. having dealt with his temper tantrums and storm outs for years now. though, it had never seemed this bad before.

realistically, you knew he was probably crashing on a friend’s sofa. overstaying his welcome and partying too much. he was likely coming down from some insane party as you sat thinking about him.

‘i just.. feel bad,’ you whisper, leaning into steve’s side. his arm reaches around to your shoulder, rubbing softly against your arm.

‘i know..i do too,’ he admits, you and eddie hadn’t been a romantic thing. not even really a thing, if you were being honest. it was sex and partying, getting completely trashed and using each other in an attempt to fill the void inside of you both.

but steve and eddie had been friends for years now. they’d argued over the stupidest shit but never something like a girl. steve had had to genuinely weigh up whether his friendship with eddie was worth losing.

if eddie couldn’t get over it, would steve be able to repress his feelings for you? or would he be fine with losing eddie if it meant that you were together?

when robin gets back from work, she narrows her eyes at the two of you curled up against each other, ‘is this gonna be a regular thing?’

‘would you have a problem with it if it was?’ you ask, watching as she dumps her back and slumps on the empty seat.

‘oh no, i’m just thinking about how much peace and quiet i’ll get if you and eddie aren’t screaming at each other every day,’ kicking her doc martens from her feet and leaning into the cushions.

‘if he comes back,’ you remind her.

she hadn’t really seemed too fazed when he’d stormed out. thankful for no more early morning wake up calls from his wooden bed frame. but you can tell that even she was beginning to feel at least a tiny bit worried.

‘he still not called?’

you shake your head, ‘no one’s seen him, he’s not home.. i guess we’ve just gotta wait til he’s calmed down,’ shrugging, more so trying to convince yourself rather than her.

no matter what, eddie had a special place in your heart. even if it wasn’t love in the romantic sense, there was too much there to disregard that. he was your best friend at one point, how could you?

it’s another five days of fretting and concern before you hear a word from him. your phone rings in the middle of the night and you sit up, feeling along the nightstand for the buzzing plastic. an unrecognised number.

‘hello?’ you speak into the receiver.

steve stirs, waking up at the sound of your voice. admittedly, you’d been sleeping in his bed. sharing kisses and late-night chats about just about everything. it all felt very quick, but just right. like now that’d you’d both realised that you could have this, that anything other than this felt wrong.

‘hi,’ eddie’s voice rings out, recognisable even through the phone.

‘eddie? you’re okay? where are you?’ you babble, steve sits up at the mention of his name.

‘i’m uh- with my dad, i just, listen.. i need you to bring me some shit.. we’re going away and i’ve got nothing with me,’ his voice crackles and you can hear him shift around in the payphone box.

‘what? you’re going where? where are you?’ baffled, unsure if you were still asleep and not understanding him.

‘away, i’m staying in porter.. look, can you do it?’

‘eddie that’s-,’ but you stop yourself, ‘yeah, sure.. when?’

‘tomorrow, i just need some clothes, my watch and my savings.. they’re under my mattress.. tiny box, you’ll see it,’ he rushes, running out of minutes.

‘o-okay, where shall i meet you? i don’t know it well,’ you garble, nodding at steve when he mouths a confused porters?

‘little bar called sam’s.. i’ll be in there, i’ve gotta go, this thing’s running out,’ he sighs, muttering a small, ‘thank you,’ before the line goes dead.

‘he’s at the fucking beach.. wants me to drop some shit for him.. he said he’s with his dad? i-i thought his dad left..?’

‘he did,’ steve looks puzzled, taking the phone from your clutch and looking at the withheld number, trying to figure out if he could call it back, ‘he left years ago..’

-

eddie’s smile falters when he notices that you’d bought steve and robin along. steve dropping your hand the second his eyes meet eddie’s.

‘what the fuck are you doing here?’ the chair scraping the wooden floor as he stands abruptly.

the man you can only assume is his dad looks over, gripping onto the beer bottle, eyes flitting between his son and your trio.

‘eddie.. i asked them to, we wanted to know if you were okay,’ your voice shakes, frowning when he scowls at you. you’ve pissed him off, again.

‘i called you because i trusted you, not him,’ he spits, walking over to where you were stood by the door, ‘where’s my shit?’

‘it’s in the car,’ quickly coming up with a lie, trying to keep him talking for as long as possible, ‘i need to talk to you.. before you.. leave,’ you pout, trying to get him away from his dad.

‘about?’ he hits back harshly, still upset that you’d even dared to bring steve along.

‘about.. everything,’ you exhale shakily, ‘give me five minutes, please.’

he looks back at his dad who checks his watch before shrugging. he couldn’t give a less of a shit as long he got this promised money.

‘fine,’ he says through gritted teeth, storming past a gormless steve and robin and exiting the restaurant.

you glance at steve before following him out, not sure how much longer you could convince him you’d bought everything he’d asked for.

he’s already lighting up a cigarette when you reach the street, perched against the windowsill in days-old clothes. he looked a mess. even worse than his usual gritty self. eye-bags and a sunken face to match.

you breathe out, how do you even start a conversation like this? sorry i fucked your best friend but i actually really like him was probably not the best way to go about it.

‘i’m sorry,’ seemed like the best place to start, ‘it wasn’t fair to you.. what i- we did.. i can’t tell you how shit it makes me feel.. to know that i hurt you.’

he blows the smoke out of his mouth, expressionless, ‘okay.’

is that it? after his great big performance that was all he could say?

‘what?’

‘i said, okay.. what d’you expect me to do? start crying and begging you to love me?’ scoffing as he takes a long draw of the cigarette. his eyes cold, merciless as he glares at you.

‘you ran away.. made everyone worried sick about you.. and all you can say is okay?’

he shrugs, ‘i’m over it.. you’re welcome to each other,’ stubbing the cigarette out on the brick wall, stepping closer to you.

your mouth opens and shuts, flabbergasted by his stinking attitude, ‘shout at me, scream.. fuck- hit me if you want to.. stop pretending like you don’t care.. because i know you eddie munson and i know you do.’

his eyes narrow, intimidating as he towers above, ‘i don’t give a shit, you’re only upset because you want me to.. that’s too bad,’ his adam’s apple bobs, a tell-tale sign that he was lying.

your eyes search his for anything. a glimmer of weakness.

but his eyes are stern, emotionless as his brows thread together.

the door to the bar creaks open and his dad stomps out, muttering to himself, ‘c’mon son, let’s get the fuck out of here,’ replacing eddie’s spot on the windowless ledge and lighting his own cigarette.

he doesn’t break eye contact, ‘i’m gonna take a leak and then i want my shit,’ jaw tense as he barges through the door.

you squeeze your eyes shut, biting onto your bottom lip before cricking your neck. that hadn’t gone exactly to plan. now what the fuck were you gonna do when he realised you hadn’t brought the one thing he’d asked for.

‘i know what women like you do,’ his dad speaks up, taking a long drag on the cigarette, ‘you don’t get to fuck up his life and then happily move on.’

eyes springing open when you realise he’s talking to you, ‘what the fuck did you just say?’

he laughs, a deep belly-laugh, ‘you heard.’

you’d love to smash the smug look from his dirty face. knock his head into the brick wall and drag eddie kicking and screaming back to steve’s cat whether he liked it or not.

‘women like me? the only person who cares enough to drive all the way out to this shithole to save your son? is that what you meant?’ stepping up towards him, as if you were even capable of doing anything.

‘you came to rub it in.. flaunting in with pretty boy there,’ his lips snarl, ‘pathetic really, shouldn’t have bothered.’

eddie comes back out, robin and steve trailing behind, trying to converse with him but being completely blanked, ‘where’s my shit then?’

‘uh.. steve’s car,’ beckoning to where you’d parked somewhere in the distance.

steve flashes you a worried look knowing damn well there was nothing eddie could want in his car. luckily eddie doesn’t pick up on it and instead starts walking in the direction you’d motioned, expecting you all to follow.

‘why’re you in such a hurry?’ you call out from behind, trying desperately to bide time. he was certain to flip his shit the second you reached the car and he figured you’d lied to him.

‘because i want to get the fuck out of here,’ he snaps back, charging on ahead.

you walk in silence to steve’s car, nervously glancing over at steve as eddie and his disgusting pig of a father walk on ahead. steve reaches over and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze though it doesn’t really do much.

eddie’s spots the car first, striding over and peering into the windows, ‘where’s my shit then?’ turning to glare at you with a disgusted look on his face.

your mouth opens and closes, no viable excuse coming to mind, ‘eddie.. i didn’t bring anything-,’ swallowing as you gain some slight confidence, ‘i’m not letting you go with him.’

his dad completely flips, turning to his son, ‘you’re fucking useless, you know that? how the fuck d’you manage to mess this one up?’ practically foaming at the mouth.

‘dad i told her! this isn’t my fault.. we can still go.. i’ll find the cash somewhere,’ his eyes pleading with the estranged man, he had shrunk back into a scared little boy right before your eyes.

his father shoves him away, snarling at his son, ‘you think i actually want to go anywhere with you? my colossal fuck up of a son? you’re dreaming,’ positively fuming.

‘but.. dad,’ he’s almost begging now, regressing back to the night he watched his father walk out on his mom, feeling the heartache all over again.

steve steps up, getting closer to the pair, ‘you should go,’ placing his hand on the man’s arm.

he jerks his arm from steve’s grip, scoffing at you all, ‘don’t bother trying to find me again.. i don’t wanna know,’ poking his sausage finger into eddie’s chest before pulling himself away and trundling off back to the bar you’d met in.

your eyes immediately turn to eddie who was watching the man leave for the second time, tears pricking in his eyes. your chest pangs with hurt, you’d never meant for it to happen like this.

eddie speeds off in the opposite direction and you have to pull on steve’s arm to stop him from going after the boy, ‘he’ll come.. just.. give him a few minutes,’ nodding reassuringly.

steve sighs before turning to face you, ‘okay, you should go anyway.’

‘yeah.’

deciding that it had probably been enough time, you follow eddie’s path and eventually find him perched on a crumbling stoke wall, aggressively wiping his cheeks when he spots you walking over.

you sit in the empty spot next to him, staring down at the grey concrete. not wanting to break the silence and potentially piss him off more.

‘fuck,’ eddie finally breathes, sniffing and wiping his nose on his filthy sleeve. he clearly hadn’t showered in days and you wonder what on earth they could’ve possibly been doing.

‘i’m sorry,’ you croak. you weren’t just sorry for not allowing him to run off with that wretched man but for the fact that you and steve had quite obviously betrayed him.

you hear him swallow and then a rustling from his pocket. looking up to find him with a cigarette hanging onto his lip. he offers the box out to you, as he usually would.

delicately taking one from the pack and placing it in your mouth, waiting patiently for the lighter.

you sit smoking your cigarettes in the calming silence for a few minutes. gazing out at the horizon, the sky awash with all sorts of moody greys. fitting.

‘are you coming home?’ you ask quietly, standing from the wall with your hands shoved in your pockets.

eddie exhales, his eyes closing briefly before he stands, ‘yeah.. yeah let’s go,’ admitting defeat as he lets go of his dad forever, ready to put an end to his reckless escapade.

robin and steve are leaning against his car when you walk back. there had been a silent agreement to not mention it. just get in the car and go.

you sat in the back with eddie, watching as he stares out of the window, pressing his forehead against the cold glass. you move over into the middle seat, resting your head against his shoulder.

things would be alright.

-

things had been actually sorta alright. eddie had seemingly come to terms with you and steve becoming a thing. at least, if he hadn’t, he’d been keeping it to himself.

you tried to keep things respectable of course, jumping apart when he’d enter the room or going off to your own room and creeping into steve’s when eddie had gone to bed. but he wasn’t stupid. and you knew he wasn’t stupid. it just seemed better than rubbing it in his face.

things were completely different with steve and you’d felt a sense of pressure that hadn’t been present with eddie. steve was soft and kind but you couldn’t be so laidback about everything with him.

when you’d disappear at parties to split a bag with someone, he’d want to know. or when you were upset and stressed out, he’d want to know why, how he could help.

which was fair enough, obviously. it was just different. before, eddie would offer some generic advice and a spliff and be done with it. now, you were expected to actually address your issues head-on, not just bury them with sex and drink.

finals week had been harsh on all of you. the apartment in disarray as you were all working overtime to save your grade and not get kicked out of college.

you’d, perhaps a bit unfairly, taken your stress out on steve. arguing with him about menial shit that you didn’t really care about, just finding any excuse to shout and push him away.

he’d sit there and take it, offering sensible solutions and trying to resolve whatever bullshit you’d made up that day. a stark difference to eddie who would’ve screamed straight back at you.

come friday night, you’d all finished exams, sitting around the table when eddie swanned in, flapping some flyer for a party, going on about how you should all go.

‘we’re finished, free,’ he argued, pleading his case to the three of you.

robin flat-out refused, said she needed to sleep for a solid week and then she’d be ready to party. steve umm’d and ahh’d, settling on staying in but he was down to go out tomorrow.

‘i’ll go,’ you speak up, eyeing eddie from across the table, you hadn’t hung out alone yet. this would be a new feat.

‘alright,’ he shrugs, looking at steve for his permission or straight up denial of you two going alone.

steve just nods, ‘alright, call me if you need anything,’ glancing at you with an assured smile.

he wasn’t worried. not really. you’d shown him plenty of times that you loved him even despite your incessant attempts to push him away. even in the bad arguments, he’d kept his cool and waited for you to come to him, keeping everything on your terms.

you’re nervous though. you and eddie partying together had never been a good idea, egging each other on, getting utterly trashed just because he’d dare you to.

not tonight. you swore to yourself before leaving. pressing a tender kiss on steve’s lips, leaving traces of your sticky lipgloss behind.

-

eddie’s pov

it’s a little after midnight when steve gets a phone call from eddie, asking him to come and pick you up. still waking up as he walks across campus, passing countless drunk students as he finds the thumping party.

you’re incoherent on the couch, steve’s eyebrows raising expectedly as he walks into the room. eddie stood to the side watching as your arms instinctively wrap around steve’s neck. even in your drunken stupor you went straight to steve.

it fucking stings.

he looks on worriedly as steve hoists you from the couch, ‘hey man.. uh, she said some pretty weird things tonight, i dunno.. i don’t think she’s okay,’ recalling your earlier slurred words.

you hadn’t meant to, but you’d spilled everything to eddie. a tequila fuelled rant about how steve was so perfect and how bad you felt that you just weren’t. how you didn’t know how to stop pushing him away, even when you didn’t want to.

steve nods, it wasn’t like he didn’t already know you were on this self-destructive warpath. he just wasn’t sure how to tell you that you didn’t need to do this without sounding like a dick.

your arms lazily flop around his neck, laying your head against his chest as he carried you bridal style through the party and right across campus back to your apartment. eddie trailing behind in silence.

‘thanks.. for calling me,’ steve smiles as he nudges his bedroom door open just as eddie was about to disappear into his own room.

‘course,’ he nods, melancholy as he watches your fingers curl around steve’s jacket, pulling him down onto the bed with you, babbling a chorus of steve’s and love you’s as his door closes.

cursing himself for never being that soft with you. never providing that level of safety.

he lies awake for hours, staring at the ceiling. at some point he hears you tumble out of steve’s room, rushing to the bathroom and subsequently throwing up into the toilet. debating whether to hop out of his own bed and help.

but then the padding of steve’s feet make their way through the hallway, his soft voice helping you brush your teeth and get cleaned up. eddie’s assistance was unnecessary. damn, he wouldn’t have a clue what to even do.

on the occasions that you’d thrown up in the morning, eddie would’ve led in bed and laughed. called you a pussy and waited for you to crawl back to bed in a mood. he wasn’t gentle like steve. that shit came as a second nature to him but to eddie? not a touch of it.

he even hears the soft kiss he gives you on the way back to his room, your appreciative little murmur and the click of his door shutting again. 

and he wants to kick himself. scream and cry and throw a tantrum because in an ideal world, that would’ve been him.

but he can’t blame you, no matter how much he tried. it’s his fault he’s such a colossal fuck up. not yours. not steve’s. his.

he eventually gives up and moves to the couch, not getting much luck at sleeping in his bed. the suns rising when he hears snippets of your hushed conversation.

it didn’t sound angry. or even upset. just barely audible speaking’s about your feelings.

‘i know.. i don’t mean to,’ he can hear, a twinge of sadness in your tone.

‘you don’t need to.. not with me,’ steve mumbles and the blankets rustle, snapping him out of his trance.

he can hear small i love you’s and the sound of lips smacking. but then your muffled breathy moans start and the bile rises in his throat. undeniably he knew what was going on in there, everything being confirmed by the rhythmic creaking of the mattress.

and he knows what you look like. he can see it. feel it. hell, he lived for it at one point

pushes himself from the sofa and straight out of the door. not wanting to hear a second more.

-

you don’t feel as bad as expected in the morning, rough but not as bad as you should be feeling.

robin’s now ready to celebrate, steve agreeing and you almost want to hurl at the mention of going out. eddie sits in silence at the end of the table, he’d been pretty strange this morning and you’d wondered if you said something to upset him last night.

you could vaguely recall the self-pitying spiel you’d forced him to listen to. physically cringing at the fact you’d started crying and wailing about steve to him.

robin suggests having some people over, just a small thing with close friends. maybe if everyone was up for it you could all go out afterwards. that you could agree to.

she rounds the troops, calling the friend you all shared. who all agreed to get there at eight. something small and casual she repeats down the phone.

there’s a few tag-alongs, people you’d met briefly at parties or friends of friends who had been dragged along. so it wasn’t the small gathering you’d pictured with just the gang. but it was okay.

the speaker being turned to max and the living room full of people. everyone in high spirits because finals had finished and were relatively confident that they’d at least scraped a pass.

you edge through the crowd, waking over to steve who was splayed out on the couch, spliff hanging from his fingers. he grins when he sees you, opening his arms.

‘hey pretty girl,’ beckoning for you to climb onto his lap, arms snug around your waist as he passes the spliff to you, still giggling at his pet name.

eddie glowers from behind the couch, huffing before pushing himself up and storming into the kitchen. he hadn’t realised how much he’d already drank, liquor coursing through his veins.

‘watch it,’ someone exclaims when eddie barges into their arm, subsequently spilling his beer onto the boys shirt.

eddie sees red. turning to the boy and snarling as he shoves his chest, sending him to the floor.

‘what the fuck did you say?’ grabbing the boy by the collar before smashing his fist into the side of the poor boys face.

steve hears the commotion, leering over the sofa to see what the fuck was even going on. he shoves you off of his lap, running to go and grab eddie from on top of this boy.

you finally see what everyone had crowded around, watching as eddie’s fist pummels into his now bloody face. only easing when steve grabs onto his arms, gasping for breath as he’s thrown back into reality. realisation setting in about what he’d just down.

people rush to the unconscious boy, somebody screaming to call an ambulance. the music cuts out harshly, silence echoing around the room as you stare at eddie, wide-eyed. terrified.

you’d never seen him like this. so brutal, covered in someone else’s blood. his chest falls and rises, staring back at you with an equally as horrified expression. steve is saying something to him but it’s not registering. a ringing in his ears as the world crashed and burned around him.

the police turn up alongside the ambulance crew. taking statements from whoever hadn’t left and eventually cuffing eddie. muttering about crazy fucking kids and quite forcefully pulling him from the apartment.

his eyes lingering on yours as he’s guided out. steve’s arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head. you’re still in disbelief, tears welling in your eyes as you remember how unforgiving and downright cruel he’d been.

‘you wanna go to bed?’ steve asks, chest vibrating with his low voice. fingers combing through your hair, in your own corner of the living room as robin and nancy attempt to clean the floor.

jonathan and argyle are picking up tiny shards of glass, not an ounce of conversation between them. all still reeling from eddie’s outburst. you were sure he was going to jail, there wasn’t any way he could possibly wriggle out of this one.

‘we should-,’ the words getting caught in your throat, ‘we need to help clean,’ pulling back to look at the state of the room, discarded cups and splatters of alcohol on the walls.

‘we’re nearly done.. you should go to bed,’ robin nods, wringing the cloth out into the sink.

even they had come to the conclusion that this was something to do with you. you and steve in particular. the way eddie’s eyes had locked onto you the second steve had pulled him off of the boy.

you knew it. he’d been frosty and unusual with you all morning. with everyone in fact.

-

eddie emerges from his room for the first time in days. looking worse for wear and feeling just as shit. the tag on his ankle restricting him from leaving the apartment freely.

he peers down at the blinking red light, mentally cursing the plastic as he drags his feet along the carpet. he can hear you and steve chatting quietly, not really able to make out what was being said.

not expecting you both to be sprawled out on the couch, your leg draped over his waist as your delicate fingers combed through his hair. the last few days had been so bleak, that he couldn’t really find it in himself to hate that you were sharing these moments with steve.

he sighs loudly, hoping to let you know he’d entered the room. not wanted to be involuntarily including in whatever may have happened next.

you sit up slightly, gazing at him stood behind the kitchen counter, ‘hey,’ it’s quiet, but he hears it. almost deciding to ignore until he remembers how much you’d doted on him and helped him recently.

‘hi,’ but he doesn’t look back, staring into the empty fridge, waiting for something to materialise. but it doesn’t.

‘when’s your court date?’

the words sear in his ear, an unwelcome subject.

‘next tuesday,’ deciding upon a swig of milk straight from the carton, not exactly the five-course meal he was hoping for.

‘okay well, we were.. we’re gonna come, y’know.. for support,’ your eyes are unrelenting, following him around the kitchen.

‘don’t bother, i’m pleading innocent,’ completely monotonous in his response.

he’d already argued with the state provided lawyer about this. a shoddy man who could not care less whether eddie went down or not, just wanting to cash his cheque at the end of it all.

the balding man had called him stupid, ‘there are multiple witnesses.. plead guilty and they’ll probably pity you n’ slap you with some community service or summit.. don’t be stupid son.’

you scoff, using steve’s chest as leverage as you sit up properly, ‘you’re joking? right?’

his eyes finally meet yours, thumping his fists on the marble counter, ‘i am innocent,’ no one could understand where he was coming from, not even the man who was being paid to at least pretend to care and understand.

‘you beat the shit out of him, eddie.. you broke his fucking jaw,’ your eyes are wide, looking at him like he’s an idiot- which he was, but not about this.

‘i was provoked, self defence,’ he says in all serious. he was frustrated, lashed out but at the end of it all, the guy had bashed him first.

‘wh- because he accidentally knocked into you? you really must be fucking stupid.. what are you thinking?’

eddie notices steve, or what he could see of him, tense up, obviously not wanting to anger the violent monster eddie had become in so many people’s eyes.

‘it’s my choice.. i was fucking provoked, saw some stupid shit.. that’s not my fault,’ relinquishing the blame to you.

in his eyes, if he hadn’t seen the disgusting display of affection, he probably wouldn’t have fucked up that boy. but he had, and that wasn’t his fault. so how was he guilty?

‘you’re ridiculous.. i actually can’t believe you,’ your eyes full of disappointment.

the way your face falls, eyes narrowed and sharp as knives makes his heart twist. genuine hurt flashed on your face. almost paralleling the horrified expression you’d held as he was cuffed and dragged away.

‘it’s my decision, i wouldn’t expect you to know a thing about what it’s like to be me,’ kicking the fridge door closed with a loud thump.

you disappear from his sight, flopping back down onto steve’s chest with an exasperated sigh. he rolls his eyes before stomping off into his bedroom. his mood probably wouldn’t be so terrible if he could just leave this godforsaken apartment.

actually, why shouldn’t he? if you were so certain that he was going to jail anyway, what harm was there in going out? fuck it.

so he gets dressed, pulling his denim jacket on and spritzing himself with aftershave. he’d worry about the tag later, surely one of his buddies would have something to hack it off with. hopefully with minimal damage to his leg.

you don’t even look up from steve’s eyes when he comes back out, having had enough of his idiotic attitude for the day.

‘woah, where are you go-,’ steve starts before being cut off with the front door shutting, he was gone, without so much of a look back.

jogging down the stairs and out of this suffocating hellhole.

-

it doesn’t take long for the police to show up, banging their fists on the door and red in the face with anger.

they grilled you and steve for what felt like hours. making sure you hadn’t helped in his escape. tearing his room apart for some sort of clue to where he’d gone.

‘we found the tag at a location not far from here.. could anyone be hiding him? he’s in serious trouble.. we need anything you’ve got,’ the officer pleads, frustrated with having to deal with this bullshit on a thursday night. you don’t blame him.

you shake your head, ‘no.. i-i mean, there’s a few bars down on main but our friends aren’t stupid enough to help him.’

any previous feelings of worry had disappeared, replaced with frustration. you weren’t prepared to spend your whole life trying to find eddie every time he decided to run away. he so obviously didn’t give a shit about what you thought, it was a waste of energy at this point.

the officer sighs, ‘right, well you let us know if he gets in contact or comes back here,’ rummaging in his pocket for a small bit of card, ‘that’s my personal number.. call me straight away.’

you nod, thumbing the glossy card and flopping back onto the couch. steve shows them out, closing the door softly after they leave. he gives you a look, full of pity. he doesn’t say a thing but you know what he’s thinking.

‘i’m done,’ holding your hands up, ‘he can get himself out of this one.. i don’t care anymore,’ surrendering completely.

he nods, looking as just as tired as you felt. sometimes you forget that this isn’t just between you and eddie, steve is right in the middle of it all too, staying quiet and holding back for eddie’s sake.

you’d tried to be courteous and thoughtful with eddie. pulling away from steve when he’d enter the room, trying not to be so overly affectionate in front of him. you felt like maybe you owed him that for how you’d gone about it, but why?

not once had he ever shown interest in being with you romantically, he was the one that’d explicitly said that you and him were friends with some added benefits. screw him.

‘you hungry? i wanna get out of here,’ pushing yourself from the couch and throwing your arms around steve’s waist, cheek squished against his chest.

‘i could eat,’ returning the hug, swaying slightly as his hands roam around your back.

-

eddie’s pov

eddie checks his phone for the umpteenth time.

no new notifications

he was anticipating at least something from you by now. hell, even a pathetic hi would’ve sufficed. the man wasn’t dumb, choosing to hole himself up in gareth’s basement with a six-pack rather than hitting the main spots.

he questions whether the dinghy, dark basement was any better than the confines of the room he’d escaped. supposing that you and steve weren’t next door, anything would be better.

he debates just calling you first. curious to know why you hadn’t called. maybe after the next beer. or maybe now. fuck it, it’s already dialling.

it rings and rings, becoming increasingly concerned with your well-being.

‘what?’ your voice rings out after the fifth or sixth ring.

he’s taken aback, ‘hello to you too,’ taking another swig of beer, his knees pulled up to his chest.

‘what d’you want?’

christ. you really weren’t falling for it this time.

‘nothin’.. just expected to hear from you by now, that’s all.’

he can hear the eye roll through the phone, your tiny almost inaudible little tut, ‘i’m not saving you this time.’

‘i didn’t ask you to.’

‘so why’d you call then? i’m busy.’

‘you with steve?’ he doesn’t even know why he asked, of course you were.

‘yeah, i am.. is that what you wanted to hear? or were you hoping i was out searching for you with the police?’

ouch. you’d called him out. figured out his silly game and threw it straight back in his face.

‘i didn’t- you just had to rub it in, didn’t you?’ anger rising in his throat, ‘you always do.’

‘you think i’m doing this to make you jealous? this isn’t about you anymore.. you need to get over yourself,’ you sigh, empathetic about the harsh words that’d just spilled out, ‘i love him, eddie.. you’re gonna have to deal with that.’

and with that the phone clicks. you’d hung up. you had hung up on him, no grovelling or pleading for him to come back home. that was it. the harsh truth and now he had to just sit with it.

his head falls back against the cold brick, staring up at the damp covered ceiling, weighing up his options. he knew he’d fucked up. best case scenario, he’d get a couple extra months on his sentence. worst case, they’d throw the book at him for wasting their time.. not to mention the already hefty sentence for the assault.

you had completely and utterly exhausted yourself trying to support him and even you had had enough. he only had himself to blame for that. maybe jail would be a good thing? he could get his head straight.. get over you, maybe even find some purpose in his life.

he pulls another beer from the pack, cracking it open and taking a long swig. exhaling as the bitter liquid seeps down his throat. there was only one way out of this fucked situation and he knew that.

-

eddie perks up when he hears your key in the door, sat on the couch for what seemed like hours waiting for you both to get back.

your face drops the instant you see him, gripping onto steve’s hand as you walk into the dimly lit living room.

eddie stands, holding up his hands, ‘i’m gonna hand myself in.. i just-,’ he exhales deeply, ‘i wanted to say goodbye,’ jaw tense as he looms between you and steve.

‘you are? do you want me to call the sheriff? i- he gave me his number..’

‘no, no.. i’m gonna go down there.. it’s easier,’ eddie motions towards the door, shaking his head.

you stand dumbfounded for a second before nodding slowly, chewing on the inside of your cheek, ‘it’s the right thing to do..’ the lump in your throat growing as you look back at the pathetic man in front of you.

steve gives him a weak smile, patting his hand on your arm. there’s a brief moment of silence. the three of you all staring back at one another in awe of the fucked up mess you’d wound up in.

‘c’mere,’ steve motions to eddie, walking over to the boy with arms outstretched. he pulls him into a bear hug, clapping his palm on eddie’s back.

from the look on eddie’s face squished against steve’s shoulder you can tell he needed it, ‘i’ll miss you man..’ he breathes into his best friend’s sweater.

‘we’ll come and visit.. you’re not getting rid of me that easy,’ his laugh is shaky as he pulls away, smiling proudly at his friend.

you stand slightly behind steve, watching on with tears brimming in your eyes. even though steve had tried to reassure you, you couldn’t help but feel so guilty that this had ultimately all happened because of you.

eddie walks over slowly, throwing his arms around your body, gripping his fingers into your arms knowing that this may very well be the last time he ever got to hold you like this.

your arms cling around his waist, cheek pressed against his chest, ‘i’m proud of you..’ was all you managed to croak out, tears wetting his dirty t-shirt.

he sniffs, swallowing the lump in his throat, ‘thank you.. for everything,’ because truly, you were the only person to never give up on him, even if he had made it incredibly difficult for you.

you lift your head off of his chest, staring up at him with sodden cheeks, bottom lip quivering as you let go of him. both physically and emotionally.

he puffs his cheeks out, wiping his face with the back of his hand before clearing his throat and nodding at the pair of you, ��you take care of her..’ eyebrow raised.

‘aye aye captain,’ steve gives him a tight lipped smile and a half-assed salute, watching as the man he had grown up with walked out of the apartment, head held high and a newfound spring in his step.

the end of the beginning.

[runninguplenorahills]

I really gotta unfollow all tags that are stranger things related because tumblr keeps recommending me posts about Steve and Eddie even though I have their character tags blocked🫡.

And don’t get me wrong, I do actually quite enjoy Steve and Eddie as characters but the hardcore fandom has The most atrociously out of character takes Ever. And they’re all clapping each other on their backs for how “canon” and “in character” their takes are💀.

Especially Steve also invades every single other character tag because 1: Steve stans don’t know how to fucking tag, and 2: Steve stans will find a way to make Everything about Steve.

And if that wasn’t bad enough already tumblr also constantly recommends me stevexreader/eddiexreader fan fictions and very bad takes revolving around the characters’ sex lives.

NO TUMBLR, I DO NOT WANNA SEE THAT!

[arrow-guy]

Within the Ashes (2/??)

Summary: You’ve spent your life working for someone else. You watch their back, you protect them, but you’re left feeling empty and unfulfilled at the end of the day. What happens when a freak accident transports you to a different dimension, very nearly identical to your own?

A/N: Hi guys! Chapter two is here and it’s time to learn more about the reader and what’s happened to them. If you’re squeamish about burns/injury, please please please read the warnings. I didn’t hold back with the Ick with the reader’s burns and I don’t want you to either read something that’ll make you feel sick or uncomfortable. That said, please enjoy!

Page dividers by @carryonmyswansong​

Pairing(s): StevexReader, background Spideytorch

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of burns (fresh and healing), disorientation, interrogation (not intense), different realities

Part 1

“Are they actually alive?” Tony asks.

Steve inches closer and faintly hears the body whimper.

“For now.”

“Christ, that’s gotta be painful.”

“We need to get them to medical.”

“They could be trying to kill us.”

“They can’t do much of anything right now, Tony.”

Tony rolls his eyes and gestures to a set of drawers. “Third down, there’s fresh sheets. Grab one.”

“You keep sheets in the lab?”

“Sheets, drop cloths, same thing at the end of the day. Doesn’t matter, just grab one.”

Steve does as he’s told and they work together to bundle the body up in the soft fabric. The pink-ish ooze of freshly healing burns immediately soaks into the sheet anywhere it touches the wounds. Steve only notices when he scoops them up in his arms. He frowns and turns to Tony.

“Does it look like they’re healing?”

“What?”

“It looks like they’re healing, Tony.” Steve pulls back a corner of the sheet to reveal their shoulder. “That’s not what fresh burns look like. Especially ones this bad.”

Tony’s expression is a mix of disgust and fascination as his eyes flit over the body. The burns on their shoulder slowly, very slowly, skin over with a milky white ooze that could easily be mistaken for infection. It’s not yellow enough, though. Whoever this person is, they heal inhumanly fast.

All Tony says is, “They’re probably in a lot of pain.”

Steve nods and hurries out into the hall, unmoving body clutched to his chest. Tony follows close behind, issuing commands for F.R.I.D.A.Y. to pass along to their medical team.

Steve barely has one foot in the door before someone whisks the body away and someone else places their hand squarely on his chest to stop his momentum. He tries to protest, but his arms are already empty.

“We’ll take it from here, Captain,” they say. “If they heal as fast as Mr. Stark says, we have to move quickly to ensure they’re not permanently stuck in the fetal position.”

Steve nods numbly. “Alright.”

“Any updates we have, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Ah-thank you.”

They nod and quickly move to the bed where the body was placed moments ago. The medical team begins moving their limbs and Steve can’t hear his eyes away out of morbid fascination with the sight. Only when they whimper again does he remember what he’s watching. He averts his eyes and turns back out into the hallway. Tony’s leaning against the wall to Steve’s right, tapping away on his phone.

“They’re in good hands, Steve,” he says. “They’ll heal before you know it and we’ll get our answers.”

“I’d hate to be them right now.”

“Any sane person would be.” Tony pushes off the wall and walks off down the hall. “Lemme know if there are any changes.”

Steve scrubs his hands over his face and slowly walks back to his office.

(Y/N) doesn’t know where she is. Can’t really move her limbs or open her eyes. She’s tired enough that she doesn’t really want to try. She does know she’s in a hospital of some kind. There’s the distant, pulsing beep of a heart monitor and she can occasionally hear the sounds of pen scratching on paper.

The bed she’s lying on is anything but soft and the sheets make her itch all over. She’s cold, initially, but she’s not awake enough at any given time to complain anyway.

Eventually, when she finally feels herself coming back to her body, she’s moved to a different bed. A smooth garment is slipped onto her body and she’s placed on top of sheets significantly softer than before. She’s still sore and pain occasionally flares up around particularly tender areas, especially where her skin is thinnest, but she finds that she’s more comfortable. It’s easier to let herself rest.

When she can finally open her eyes, it’s not for very long. Staying awake takes too much energy. She rolls over, ignores the way her left arm won’t move and the pressure around that wrist, and goes back to sleep. She can worry about it when she’s more lucid and the steadily growing pressure behind her eyes dissipates.

Unfortunately, she wakes up with a pounding headache and something about the bright, buzzing fluorescent lights only serves to make it worse. So, she attempts to cover her eyes with her left arm, only to be stopped short. (Y/N) frowns and tugs against the resistance on her arm. Same distance, but it's followed by a feeble, metallic rattle. Her frown deepens and she cracks one eye to investigate while rubbing the other with her free hand.

She finds her left hand bound at the wrist to the hospital bed railing with a length of gray fabric. The material has very little give and the knots at either end are tied well. Even knowing this she tries to pull at the loop around her wrist. She puts a little extra strength behind it. Even so, unsurprisingly, it does nothing.

"Huh."

She's looking a little too closely at the knot at her wrist and thinking about using her teeth on it when a man appears at the foot of the bed. Startled, she jumps and accidentally smacks herself in the face with her left hand. She makes a small noise of disappointment and rubs at the point of impact.

“Sorry,” the man says. “Did I startle you?”

“A little,” she mumbles.

“I need to ask you a few questions.”

(Y/N) watches him fold his arms across his chest and wishes she could poke his biceps. She might have super strength, but she’s never had the resting muscle definition to prove it. Johnny always teases her for staring at Jen Walters for a little too long. She sighs and briefly wonders if he knows where she is.

“Miss?”

“What? Sorry. I’m a little spacy.” She moves to run her hand over her hair, but only finds the stubbly peach fuzz of regrowth. “Weird.”

“With the state you were in when you showed up, I’d say you’re lucky to even have hair.”

“Was it really that bad?”

“It was pretty grotesque.”

“Oh. Sorry.” (Y/N) clears her throat and sits herself up. “You have questions?”

“Right.” He squares his shoulders. (Y/N) thinks it’s to make him more intimidating. It doesn’t work. “Who sent you?”

“Sorry?”

“You appeared out of thin air in our lab. It’s hard to believe that would just randomly happen. So, who sent you?”

(Y/N) shakes her head. “No one.”

“I don’t believe you. So I’ll ask again; why are you here?”

“Okay, well I don’t know where here is, so you have me at a distinct disadvantage.”

“You don’t know where you are?”

“No.”

“Where did you plan to be?”

“At home, in my bed, reading a book.” She looks around the room. “Where am I?”

“Avengers tower.”

“Tower?” Confused, she frowns. “I thought the Avengers operated out of a mansion somewhere in the city.”

“What mansion?”

“Y’know, that posh mansion with a bunch of floors below the ground that too many people know how to get to.” The man doesn’t give any indication that he does, in fact, know. “Tony Stark funds everything? Captain America is the figurehead?”

“Sounds right, but the location is wrong.”

“How would you know?”

“Because I’m Captain America.”

The corner of her mouth quirks up. “No you’re not.” The man raises one eyebrow. “Are you?”

“I am.”

“But you’re so…” Handsome, soft, almost approachable, her brain supplies. “And he’s so righteous, buzzcut, quarterback.” Her eyes go wide with realization and her hand flies to her mouth. “Oh God, Reed. What’d you do?”

Had Reed’s transport actually worked? Even with chunks flying off, even after exploding, had it sent her to a different dimension? It seems like that’s what happened. This man claims to be Steve Rogers, but he doesn’t look like the Captain she knows. Well, that’s not entirely true. He does look like her Steve Rogers, but not enough for her to think they’re the same person. But who’s to say anyone’s equivalent in a different reality would match them perfectly?

“Who’s Reed?”

“My boss. Reed Richards.”

“Am I supposed to know who that is?”

“You don’t know him?”

“Can’t say that I do.”

“He’s lauded as one of the smartest humans on the planet. Right up there with Stark and Banner.” The Captain just shakes his head. “What about the Fantastic Four? Mr. Fantastic, the Invisible Woman, Human Torch, the Thing?”

“They don’t sound familiar, no.”

She presses the heels of her hands to her eyes. “I must sound like a lunatic.”

“Yes, you do.” A man with dark hair and perfectly groomed facial hair strides into the room. “But I have heard of Richards, and I’m particularly offended that you’d compare the two of us.”

(Y/N) would know that goatee anywhere, but the face is wrong. “You’re-”

“Tony Stark.”

She nods. “Right.”

“Why don’t you explain what’s going on here.”

(Y/N) presses her fingers to her temple. “I’m Reed’s lab assistant. He’s been working on interdimensional transportation for months now and finally settled on something he was sure would work a few days ago, but when we went to tests, the entire thing malfunctioned. Thing literally blew up. From what I can remember, I was caught in the blast. Now I’m here.”

“Hilarious. Tell the truth.”

“I am.”

“That technology doesn’t exist yet. Not to mention the fact that your entire body was one massive third degree burn. Yet you’ve miraculously healed. Explain.”

“I have a healing factor that’s just a smidge weaker than Wolverine’s. I wouldn’t survive a nuclear blast, but full body third degree burns are manageable, I guess.”

“Wolverine?”

“Nigh unto immortal Mutant? Legendary X-Man?” Both Rogers and Stark shake their heads. “Seriously? He’s been alive since before the civil war.”

“Doesn’t ring any bells.”

“Great, you don’t have the X-Men.” She drags her hand over what little hair has grown back. “The only explanation I can come up with, and I apologize for my limited knowledge, I’m just the muscle, is that I was transported to a universe or reality adjacent to mine. Which… would only serve to prove Reed’s theory about a multiverse.”

“Seriously? A multiverse?”

“I don’t know, ask Doctor Strange. I’m not an expert by any means, but I know that this is one of the many intersections of science and magic.” She pauses. “Stephen Strange is the Sorcerer Supreme here, right?”

“He might be.”

“Okay.” She nods, mostly to herself. “Okay.”

“What’s your name?” Rogers asks.

“(Y/N).”

“Last name?”

“(Y/L/N),” she answers. “There might be another me in this reality, but I don’t know how closely realities mimic each other, so… who knows.”

Rogers hums and turns to look at Stark, who just shrugs and says he’ll look into it. He then leaves with the promise of contacting Strange and (Y/N) is suddenly alone with Rogers.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know this is a lot for all of you to deal with.”

“It’s fine.”

“Okay.” She bites her lip. “How long was I out for?”

“About four days.”

“Oh shit. That’s way longer than I’ve been down in the past.”

“You were barely recognizable as a human being when you appeared. I think that gives you a pass on healing a little slower than usual.”

“Mm, you’re probably right.” Rogers nods absentmindedly. “Wild question; could you untie me?”

“Hm?”

“Could you untie me?” she repeats. “I know it’s for everyone’s safety, but I'm not going anywhere, and I’m pretty sure I’ll accidentally break the railing if I fall asleep like this again.”

"It's pretty sturdy."

"Could you break this pretty sturdy railing?"

"We'll, yeah-"

"Then I'd be able to break it." He raises his eyebrows and she gestures to herself. "Pretty-sturdy-railing will meet pretty-strong-burn-victim, and the burn victim will win."

“So you heal quickly and you’re super strong?”

"Yes, exactly."

"How?"

(Y/N) shrugs. "Luck of the draw, I guess. I mean, how does anyone get their powers, if not by chance?"

"In my experience, through a lot of scientific experimentation."

“Mm, I guess so. You said you don’t know about the X-Men, right?”

“Right.”

“Hm, then I guess you don’t really have anyone who’s genetically predisposed to having powers, then.”

"Maybe we do and we just haven't met them yet."

"Maybe." She stifles a yawn. "The government likes to beat back anyone they see as a threat with a stick, so I wouldn't blame anyone for hiding their powers."

"They do that where you're from?"

"Mhm." Rogers quietly approaches and unties the knot around (Y/N)'s wrist in one smooth motion. "Thank you. It's cyclical, sometimes."

"Can't say it's much different here." (Y/N) yawns again and tries to sit up a little straighter. “You should get some rest.”

She shakes her head and absentmindedly rubs her left wrist. “I’m sure you have more questions.”

“Nothing that can’t wait till tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.” He pats her shoulder and heads for the door. “I’ll make sure some food is sent up for you.”

“Thank you, Captain Rogers.”

He nods and disappears into the hallway.

--------

Part 3

Alrighty, so the reader character isn’t dead, huzzah! But now they’re stuck in an alternate reality. Could this prove to be a Bad Thing? Or maybe it’s just a brand new adventure. You’ll have to tune in next time to find out.

As always, I’d love to know what you thought of this chapter! Are you surprised by how careful Steve was with the Body? How do you feel about the Reader character being tied to their hospital bed? Was Steve as intimidating as he thought he was? Be sure to reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

Tag List:

@ghostlyhamlet, @claws-of-vibranium, @creaturefeatures101-blog, @imagine-assembling-the-avengers, @buckysendoftheline, @ptprocrastination, @1950schick, @amayasymone23, @arfrona-and-marvel, @ek823, @fanaticfangirl001, @furrywerewolfcollector, @kissofvenom922, @dawn-phantomhive, @fangirlwithasweettooth, @mairhof1, @starryeyesbadguys, @trap-house-homiecide, @buckywhitewolfbarnes, @kaepm981, @howdoesoneadult, @pcdmesamidala, @thefandomplace, @sian22redux. @skeletoresinthebasement, @lady-thor-foster, @feelmyroarrrr, @jazzcutie, @gaytonystark, @hermionie-is-my-queen. @darling-loki, @geeksareunique, @nyxveracity, @lemonadeorange73, @princess-unicorn124, @tofeartheunknown​, @queenoftheunderdark​, @avengerscompound​, @patzammit​

This fic:

@brattymum96​

[hotchfiles]

the amount of stevexreaders ive read without watching one single second of stranger things--ijust

HES HOT AND TAKES CARE OF HIS FRIENDS WHO ARE LITTLE KIDS OK THATS ENOUGHhhh

[andvys]

We should stop reading because… what do you mean with there will be more eddiexreader (please let it be platonic) or because stevexreader? Sounds like nobody is safe, regardless thank you for letting us know that we should stop reading cause won’t have a happy ending 😩

i mean there will still be a happy ending for reader and one of them 🫢

[buckysgrace]

Hey sorry to bother you. Your stevexreader where the reader is bi is absolutely amazing.

I just want to ask is the last sentence supposed to be

“This wouldn't be the first time with you, he was sure of it, "Our little secret?"” or “This wouldn’t be the last time with you, he was sure of it”

Sorry if this is bothering u

Not a bother at all! Thank you for enjoying it!

Also yes it is absolutely supposed to be the second one! Lmaooo good eye! I changed it now, so thank you!!!

Again not a bother, I appreciate it! <3

[steviebbboi]

haha no worries, i totallly get it!! i think i may have even done that once or twice like thinking im sending a PM even tho in reality, im sending in an 'ask' 🙂‍↔️

and ahhh - definitely let me know what you think of them!! thank you sm for that, made my night :) i may or may not be sprucing up another stevexreader fic. i put a poll on my blog to see what folx would love to read more and im seeing mob!Steve gettin' some luv 👀

Hey, just wanted to drop in to thank you for the incredibly kind words in response to my comment on Espresso on AO3. I hope you're having a good day.

(I recommended and reblogged the fic here too but I don't know if that worked since I only recently started using tumblr again and am very lost, lol.)

heehee i just saw this just now too! (see, i told you - i am a grandma too). i said this to you already, but i really appreciate your support on here (and on Ao3)! <3

i resonate with catching up with tumblr since i also just re-joined it around maybe 3-4 months ago (so not too long)! but ofc, tumblr has been feeding my current chris evans fixation so i've been avidly exploring since i've re-joined and feel like i got the hang of it-ish (mostly l o l). and there are amazing writers on here that are active, and great models of tumblr etiquette too to wade out any "unethical weeds". they inspire me to write and share my own fics even more. hoping that this re-joining of tumblr journey grants you the same hopes!

drop me an ask anytime :) appreciate u and happy reading, my friend!!

[hellfiremunsonn]

Prominent Nose - Steve HarringtonxReader

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

I do not allow my writing to be republished anywhere other than my own blog without my consent

Warnings: Dom Steve if you squint, swearing, fingering, oral f receiving, pet names (baby, princess, pretty thing) Steve calling himself ‘daddy’, fem reader, f orgasm

Word count: 1473

Requested by anonymous!

AU: HI I HOPE I DID YOUR IDEA JUSTICE, IF IT’S SHIT LET ME KNOW AND I’LL TRY AGAIN. 

Prompt: “Something about the reader being obsessed with steves nose, and at first Steve doesn’t get it and just thinks it’s sweet,  until he realizes it’s not so innocent as he thought. Like him wanting the go down on fem! Reader and use his nose and stuff. Sorry if this is too specific, hope you enjoy it anyways lol <3″

It was another hot summer day in Indiana, not a single cloud in the sky to protect us from the sun. Steve and I had set up camp in his bedroom because it was the coldest room in the house for whatever reason. His curtains drawn so only the soft glow from his desk lamp lit the room. I laid with my head on his chest humming a song while he gently played with my hair.

I craned my neck to look up at him only to realize he was already looking down at me. “Hi pretty girl” He said, a slow tired smile on his face.

I sighed smiling back at him. “You’re the one who is pretty” I said cupping his face in my hand. “You’ve got long lashes, and your lips are so perfect and kissable” I said leaning up to give him a quick peck. “Your eyebrows are even better than mine, and your nose” I said sighing. “You have such a nice looking nose, I think it might just be my favourite thing about you” I gave it a light tap with the tip of my pointer finger.

I really did love his nose. I had always had a thing for prominent noses and his was just one of those perfect noses. It was proportioned to his face so it wasn’t a feature that you would notice right away. It also happened to feel really good when it would brush against me when he had his face in between my legs. “My nose?” He laughed, interrupting my explicit thoughts for a moment. “Of all things, that’s your favourite?” He went cross eyed in attempt to look at it. “I really don’t think it’s anything special, it’s just a nose, a kind of big one at that”

I sat up and a bit away from him to give his face, and nose, a better more thoughtful look. “It’s not thaaaaat big” “Does it ever get in the way?” He said tilting his head to the side. “In the way of what?” “Anything” He said shrugging. “Does it bother you when we kiss?” “Oh!” I giggled. “Not at all, I like it” I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks and I cleared my throat in attempts to somehow stop the color consuming my face.

“Sometimes I feel like it gets in the way when I’m eating you out” He said casually.

I choked on my spit and coughed into my hand trying to recover from the words he just said. He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly intrigued in my abrupt reaction. “It uh, no, it um, it’s like not that, uh” I tried forming words but I couldn’t. And it didn’t help with him staring at me struggling with his hand planted firmly on my thigh.

He laughed, a smirk forming on his lips. “You like it don’t you?” He said leaning forward so he was closer to me. Lips inches from mine. “You like it when it hits your clit? When I fuck you with my fingers?” His words were slow and deep and he enunciated each of them while staring into my eyes. His own eyes almost black, his pupils heavily dilated. “I um, mmhmm” I said looking down. “Eyes on me princess” He said tilting my head up with his finger under my chin. “Yes, or no” He said. “Give me an answer” “Y-Yes” I stuttered.

He grinned before climbing on top of me so I was now laying on my back. “Good girl”

His kisses were hard and sloppy, desperate to get closer.

His hands roamed my body, squeezing every bit of skin he could until his hand settled on the waistband of my shorts. He leaned back, breaking the kiss, hooking the fingers of both hands in either side of my shorts. Watching me watch him with my chest rising and falling rapidly. “My pretty, pretty girl” He said softly while tugging at my shorts. Lifting my hips slightly so he pull them off easier. Flinging them somewhere in his room he returned to me and I pulled him close to me by wrapping my arms around his neck and moaning into the kiss. He leaned back from the kiss a second time and a small whine left my lips. Taking each of my legs placing one on either side of his knees he lifted my shirt and started kissing my stomach. My breasts still covered from the fabric. I rolled my hips slightly hoping for any sort of friction. “Be patient baby” He cooed into my skin. He lowered himself. Now kissing each of my hips before trailing kisses up and down my thighs. I squirmed under him. “Please Steve” I begged leaning up on my elbows to look at him. “What did I say” He said grabbing my ankles pulling me to the edge of his bed. He leaned forward on one hand and squished my face together in the other. “Hmm?” “You said to be patient” I said through my squished lips. “So then be patient” He warned in that tauntingly stern voice I loved and hated so much.   He started over with the feather light kisses on my stomach again. Trailing them lower, and slower than before. My arousal becoming almost painful as he prolonged his teasing.  

A small hiccup left my mouth, as tears threatened to fall from the corner of my eyes. “Or poor baby” He mocked. “You want to be touched so bad huh? Want to cum all over my face, try to fuck yourself against my nose?”

I nodded frantically. “Please baby, I need you to touch me, anything, please” I begged again unashamed this time. “Since you asked so nicely” He lowered his head so it was now positioned between my thighs licking a harsh swipe up my folds. Moaning my head fell back and I leaned back down laying on my back. Steve reached his one hand up towards me and I interlocked my fingers with his holding onto him tightly. Slipping a finger into my effortlessly he curling it up repeatedly while his tongue circled my clit. A string of profanities leaving my mouth. My other hand fisted into his hair I tugged lightly trying to pull him closer and he groaned into me. The vibrations from his voice could have sent me over the edge alone. Removing his mouth from my sensitive clit he nudged his nose against me. My body jerked and I looked down at him. That devilish look in his eyes. “Fuuuuck Steve” I moaned, my back arching slightly. My hips rocking back and forth slightly as I began to literally fuck myself against his face in attempts to bring my orgasm on faster. “You look so fucking pretty like this baby” He spoke into me. The slow burn in my stomach began to spread and I could feel myself tighten around his finger. “Can I cum? Please? I’m going to cum, please let me c-um” I stuttered. He squeezed my hand with his as a ‘yes’ not wanting to stop his fingers and mouth to ruin my building climax. “Oh my god!” I yelled, my back raised completely off of his bed. My legs trembling Steve slowed his movements until he was sure my orgasm had subsided.

My legs falling limply off the edge of the bed while Steve stood between them soothingly rubbing my thighs watching me while I caught my breath. Trying to focus on the oscillating fan blowing cool air on my damp skin. His face was covered with my shiny arousal. “Scootch up baby” he said softly, motioning for me to move further back up the bed.

I weakly lifted myself, pulling myself back more quickly collapsing back and curling up onto my side. Steve got back into the bed next to me and pulled me into him so my head was now leaning against his chest. His heart beat still beating a little quickly.

He traced his fingers up and down my back lightly and I relaxed into him. “How are you feeling?” “Like a melted ice cream cone” I hummed. “Well you definitely melted somewhere that’s for sure” Steve said laughing.

I smacked him on his chest. “Steve!” I said joining in with laughter.

“What! It’s true” He said raising his one hand in defense. “It might be a little true” I admitted. “Daddy’s always right what can I say” I rolled my eyes laughing again slightly as I closed my eyes getting more comfortable against him. He pulled the thin blanket up over me and kissed me on the forehead. “You got ten minutes of snuggles before I fuck the shit out of you” he said sighing and leaning his head back against the headboard. “So romantic” I scoffed.

[rightbrainboredom]

New Chapter Posted

[chelseeebe]

do you think i have forgotten (about you)

a part two to come pick me up.

summary: eddie finds himself out of jail and right back on your doorstep. running from his past while trying desperately to fix the mess he had left you in only leads to complicated situations.

a/n: so this is actually not what i had expected to post lmfao but similar to part one i reread this in my drafts and literally fell in love.. like it needed to be posted.

18+. smut, smoking, drug and alcohol use. mentions of jail and creepy therapists. angst.. sweet sweet angst. as before, this is stevexreader however this part is way more about eddie and r.

you can’t lie. the last few months had been pretty tough, on both you and steve. through no fault of his own though.

you were just.. unwell. perhaps you always had been and the process of seeing someone you regarded as your best friend beat the shit out of someone and subsequently be jailed for it had brought all those feelings up.

‎♡‧₊˚

not to mention the emotional toll of him dipping in and out of your life and the countless other reckless shit he’d pulled you into before.

currently things were stable, yours and steve’s relationship was good, you were going to work and succeeding in being mostly sober. a little help from a short stay in a psychiatric ward and some nice new pills had you feeling semi-okay again.

it had started not long after eddie was sentenced, you’d sat in the docks of the courtroom and watched the judge bang the gavel down as he was sentenced to twenty four months. it stung knowing that he’d gotten himself in this position because you’d dared to kiss your boyfriend in front of him.

nevertheless, a few short weeks after the horrid court date you’d suffered a complete breakdown at a party. throwing anything you could get your hands on, sobbing hysterically as steve tried his best to calm you. right in front of everybody, their gawping eyes prying as you were escorted out by the police who had then issued a caution and had recommended to the judge that you needed some sort of mental health intervention.

at the time it was humiliating. the worst part being that it felt like everyone around you was walking on eggshells, trying to coddle you and tell you that it was all okay. you’d known it wasn’t. maybe it could be, but for right then, no.

coming back into the apartment and the real world had been quite frankly, awful. missing the safety of the ward, you couldn’t hurt anyone in there.

steve had been your saviour through it all. making sure he was there for every visit with a great big smile on his. he was gentle, giving you your meds, making sure you were eating and he’d even found you a job, helping you apply, christ he’d even ran through a mock interview with you, putting on a deep voice and asking you silly questions.

and do you know what?

eventually things got back to some sense of normality. braving your first gathering, trembling as you walked through the door, terrified that everyone would hate you only to find that all anyone had really cared about was making sure you were well again.

and that lands us here, finally finishing a dragging shift and traipsing home to collapse into bed to wait for steve to get home.

except, nearing the front door you notice it’s cracked open slightly. the door handle looks busted and you’re ninety percent sure that either someone was currently in your apartment or had been in and ransacked it.

you push the door open with one finger, it freaks loudly as it opens slowly, startling the intruder who curses and drops whatever they were holding.

‘you have five seconds to get the fuck out,’ you warn, creeping from behind the door frame nervously.

there’s a figure stood in the middle of the room, back turned to you who very slowly puts his hands in the air, surrendering.

he turns to face you, a shit-eating grin on his face and you finally recognise the cocky face staring back at you.

‘eddie?!’

he breathes a sigh of relief, ‘holy shit i was startin’ to think you’d moved out and i’d just broken into some strangers apartment,’ cackling as his arms outstretch to hug you.

‘what the fuck- what are you doing here? you’re supposed to be in jail!’ in utter disbelief that he was stood before you, debating whether pinching yourself would wake you up from this strange dream.

‘i got out! duh,’ he grins, making his way towards you, arms still outstretched.

‘you.. you got out? what? you’re not supposed to be out for like another year.. i don’t- i’m not understanding,’ carefully wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he pulls you into a hug.

he felt stronger, sturdy as his arms wrap around your waist. the hug lasts for what feels like an eternity until you back to properly examine his face and to once again check that you weren’t hallucinating.

‘i can’t believe you’re actually here.. how are you? i’m sorry i’ve been.. busy,’ trying to recover over the last few months had meant that you’d sorta neglected eddie, his last letter still in the clutter on your desk somewhere.. unanswered.

unfortunately for him, you’d had a few more important things to focus on. like trying not to break down and keep your relationship with steve afloat.

‘i’m good, i’m always good.. what’ve you been up to? i missed your letters,’ it was a simple statement but you’d never truly comprehend just how much receiving anything from you had meant to him, how much it kept him going.

you let go of him fully, motioning for him to take a seat, ‘it’s a super long story..’ sighing as you jam the bursted door shut, steve would have to look at it on his day off.

‘well it’s a good thing i’ve got time,’ collapsing into the cushions, making himself right at home.

-

you and eddie are sat on the couch smoking when the key turns in the door and steve walks in, looking just as exhausted as he did when he left this morning. the tiny shadow of a smile that was on his face is dropped the second he see’s eddie, replaced with a state of pure confusion.

‘what the fuck?’ he exclaims, dropping his bag onto the floor as eddie clambers off of the sofa to greet him.

steve’s face is a picture, eyebrows knitted together as eddie’s hand claps his back, ‘you’re supposed to be in prison?’

eddie pulls back, holding onto steves shoulder’s, ‘and you’re supposed to be happy to see me,’ faux-offended by steve’s confused stature.

‘no.. i am, what? why are you out?’

eddie shrugs him off, coming back to the couch, ‘ehh it’s a long story.. come.. sit, how was work, big boy?’ taking the spliff from your outstretched hand to offer to steve.

steve plonks himself down next to you, placing your legs over his thighs instead of the couch, ‘yeah.. it was alright, i’m sorry- why the fuck are you in my living room and not in federal prison?’ taking the burning joint from eddie’s fingers.

‘i got out,’ eddie offers back, the exact same thing he’d said to you. you had come to the conclusion that his departure from jail had perhaps not been entirely legal but it was way easier to brush it off rather than trying to probe him.

steve narrows his eye’s, obviously also not buying his bullshit but decides instead to smoke whatever had been handed to him, humming as he exhales a thick cloud of smoke.

‘i said that he could stay here.. just for a few days, if that’s okay?’ you ask, looking up at your boyfriend with hopeful eyes.

he pauses, contemplating if harbouring a, presumed, escaped convict was really a great idea, ‘uhh.. yeah i’m sure a few days is fine..’ he didn’t sound so sure himself.

‘thanks man,’ eddie nods, eyeing the door to his old bedroom.

the thing is, when eddie was convicted, his uncle had come to collect most of his stuff, taking it back to hawkins in his van. you’d thought he’d be locked up for at least two years so sending his things back to hawkins was the smartest idea. that meant when you guys moved out, you weren’t left to deal with his mountains of crap.

you catch him looking, feeling a tad guilty that he’d come back to nothing, ‘the bed’s still in there but.. it’s mostly storage now,’ scrunching your nose as you grimace.

‘that’s alright.. anything’s better than prison,’ he jokes, offering a saddened chuckle.

‘yeah.. exactly,’ not that you had much idea what prison was like, but from what eddie had told you, your living room floor would be an improvement.

the three of you spend a few hours right there on the couch, listening to eddie’s tales from jail, entangled with your stories of all the thing he’d missed. steve nudges you at some point, muttering something about bed which you agree with, rushing around to find eddie a spare blanket.

‘you’ll be okay in here?’ you ask, poised in the doorway.

‘yeah it’s great.. thank you,’ he smiles, sitting down on the edge of his old bed, peering around the now mostly empty room.

it felt a little suffocating if he was honest, the sheer amount of memories these blank four walls held. he swore he could hear echoes of your laugh from the times before, remembering the nights where you’d stumble back here and subsequently pass out in a heap on his bed. he shakes his head slightly, ridding himself of the thought before it got too deep.

‘okay, well.. goodnight,’ flashing him a tight-lipped smile before closing the door and making your way to your own room.

steve is stood facing the window, already stripped out of his clothes, ready for bed. he spins when he hears the door click shut, walking over to where you stood undressing with a grin, hands finding their place on your waist.

you hum at the feeling of his palms on your skin, ‘what’re you doing?’ shimmying out of your horrendous grey work trousers.

his lips softly press against the back of your neck and maybe it’s the weed or maybe it’s spite but he can’t help himself, fingers coming down to mess with the waistband of your panties. placing your hand over his to stop him from going any further.

‘we can’t,’ you hush, acutely aware that eddie was just a few doors down and would most certainly hear.

‘we can.. you’ll just have to be quiet,’ murmuring against the back of your neck, your hand doing absolutely nothing to really try and stop him. ‘can you do that for me?’

he travels further down, past the flimsy waistband, feeling his smirk widen against your skin as you sigh softly, sliding your hand onto his forearm, using it for leverage while his middle finger begins to circle your already sensitive clit.

your sex life hadn’t been what it was in the beginning, both of you busy with work and mental health crises that it was now more of a rarity to find the time. it’s not really lost on you as to why steve is so eager for it tonight but you couldn’t help but to feel at least a little turned on by this sudden bout of possessiveness.

your eyes flutter closed as he adds another finger to the equation, letting your body lean back against his bare chest, ‘my god,’ you moan softly, leaving crescent moon shapes indented in his skin.

‘hmm? is that good, baby?’ his plump, pink lips pressing gentle kisses to you neck and shoulders, teeth grazing the agile skin. he’s unforgiving and really not trying to be quiet at all.

it was definitely spite.

you can feel his erect cock against your ass, unknowingly writhing around, brushing up against him. his fingers hastily leave the safety of your now sodden underwear, manoeuvring your body to face him.

‘you’re such an asshole,’ you hush, gripping onto his arms for balance, walked backwards towards the bed.

a menacing smirk plastered on his face as he falls on top of you, knowing full well that eddie could definitely hear your soft pants and the way your lips echoed his name. stevestevesteve.

his fingers are brushing the hair from your face, making sure you were looking at him. it’s disgusting how attractive you find this. steve wasn’t usually one for such outward jealousy but you couldn’t say you hated it. legs wrapping around his torso after he had slipped your underwear off.

you don’t even attempt to conceal the whimper that ripples through your throat when he slides into your cunt. gripping onto his shoulders as the bed begins to creak, headboard knocking into the dry wall, unapologetic with his movements.

completely unashamed.

-

you’re eternally grateful that eddie doesn’t mention anything the next morning though he avoids steve’s eye and keeps his head low until he leaves for work. breathing an almost undetected sigh of relief when the door clicks shut.

the pair of spend most of the day lounging on the couch in front of the television, watching the overdue videos steve had neglected to return. the darkness eventually creeps up on you. the moon shining through the windows.

‘c’mon.. let’s go out,’ eddie nudges your knee with his, a devilish grin plastered across his face. he’d been bored shitless all day, as much as he enjoyed the mundane with you.. he wanted to go out. feel that rush through his veins as you got into something you shouldn’t.

‘i shouldn’t.. i’ve been doing good lately, it’s.. i can’t,’ sinking further into the sofa. you wanted to go out, really. but you and eddie going out alone together was a recipe for disaster.

‘and that’s why you deserve a treat.. c’mon, i know you want to,’ egging you on, now poking your knee with his finger, his other hand gripping onto the warm beer can.

you ponder for a second, pursing your lips as you weigh up the pros and cons. you don’t have to get wasted.. you could go out with eddie and be back before steve got home from work. yeah. you could do that.

‘where?’

eddie’s smile widens, he’d anticipate a hell of a lot more nagging and pleading than this, ‘fucking.. anywhere, the night is young and so are we.’

‘okay.. but, we’re having a normal night.. nothing crazy and i wanna be back here before steve is, got it?’ raising your eyebrows as you down the last sliver of wine.

‘absolutely.. whatever you want,’ eddie chuckles, slapping his knees as he stands from the couch, ‘c’mon.. get dressed.’

you stare up at him for a moment before getting up from the couch and slinking into yours and steve’s room. he wouldn’t be happy about this but if you were home and in bed before he was, he wouldn’t have much to complain about and if he did, he’d get over it.

and hey, maybe you could prove to him that you were okay now. that you were ready and able to handle things on your own.

-

everyone goes absolutely crazy when eddie walks in, almost as if he’d been locked up for a year. there are a few unhappy murmurs, worried onlookers who had been there that night.

but he doesn’t seem to care, shaking hands and chatting to everyone that came up to him. people handing him cups of mystery liquor which eventually got passed onto you.

you’re perched next to him on the couch, drinking the vile tasting liquid without a second thought. the odd person still coming up to him in shock, asking all sorts about what life was like on the inside.

and he just laughs and tell them the same generic story about earning his way and how eventually people listened to him. you doubt much of it is actually true but let him continue nonetheless. what did you know about prison?

bedsides, you’d seen the scars that now littered his knuckles and forearms. how his muscles had grown and the way his nose now bent slightly to the left. he must’ve done something to earn them.

your head is pretty fuzzy the first time the plate full of mystery white powder is passed around. respectfully declining and mumbling about sticking to drink.

but by the second time it comes your way, you’re glancing down at the porcelain with eager eyes. one tiny line couldn’t hurt, right? you still had plenty of time to sober up and get home before steve.

so you pick up the rolled up note, eddie’s eyes watching like a hawk, ‘hey.. you sure?’ his own jaw clenching from his previous line.

‘it’s fine,’ you nod reassuringly, holding one nostril and sniffing the pre-cut line, sniffing harshly. you’d forgotten how much it stung, making your eyes water as you pass the plate onwards.

you sit back into the couch, watching as the conversation roars around you. waiting for that sweet, sweet feeling when it finally hit.

and oh boy, does it.

one second you’re sat on the couch and the next you’re pulling eddie up onto his feet, trying to make him dance along to the pounding music with you. it all sounded so good. your body warm and loose. heart pounding in your chest as the beat vibrates through your limbs.

you’re not sure how long you’re dancing for, keeping your eyes closed while other people start getting up to join you.

not even questioning the second line when it re-emerges. still slowly sipping on what was now a dark liquor, bitter in taste, burning your throat on the way down.

eddie’s hand gingerly touches your waist causing you to pull your eyes to him. he’s dancing too, clutching onto the beer bottle, pupils dilated as they cling to you. cling to your body. moving in time with his.

everything’s a little blurry but you keep your eyes steady on eddie, smiling as the music distorts in your ears. it sounded robotic and weird but still had you wiggling your hips in time with the odd beat.

his other hand meets your waist, more confidently this time, pulling your body towards his. you think nothing of it, focussed on moving in time to the music.

eddie’s hand moves up to cup your cheek, the party bleating on around you as he tips your chin up towards his. a soft smile on his face as your eyes meet his fully.

the next few seconds happen so quickly that you’re not even sure if it actually happened.

his lips crash against yours, pressing himself to your chest, hand clinging to your cheek. he’s desperate with it, hungry and insatiable.

the magic dust you’d just inhaled must have softened your inhibitions because you’re kissing him back. palm pressed against his chest, fingers curling into his t-shirt.

until you finally realise exactly what you’re doing.

pulling yourself away from him, stumbling backwards as you blink up at him. had you actually just kissed him? no, why the fuck had he kissed you?

‘what the fuck are you doing?’ you exclaim, mind still hazy under the influence of whatever narcotics they were passing around.

your stomach twists. steve was probably sat at home waiting for you to get back, worried sick about where you’d gone. all the while you’re kissing his best friend at a party he had no idea was happening. it makes your stomach twist, guilt coursing through your chest.

you back away from eddie, tripping over another party goers outstretched legs as you go. head pounding, hands tingling. everything surrounding you had become a massive blur of flashing lights and distorted faces.

‘fuck.. wait!’ eddie calls out from the living room but you’re already gone, pushing past the gaggle of people in the hallway as you fumble for the doorknob.

the cold air hitting you the second the door is open, you hadn’t brought a jacket. or had you? you can’t really remember.

there are people strewn across the front yard, watching as you stumble down the path, fumbling for your phone in you pocket. the letters all jumble into one as you click through searching for steve's contact. slamming the green button the second you recognise the slight curve of the s.

he answers on the first ring, ‘hello? where are you?’ you’d missed the tens of missed calls from his number.

‘i’m.. i don’t know,’ sobbing into the receiver as one of the onlookers from the party approaches you, ‘where are we?’

from what you can make out, it’s a young girl, she looks worried as she takes the phone from your hand and places it to her ear, telling steve whatever street you were on. her spare hand reaches out to rub your back, keeping you close to her body as steve fucking sprints from your apartment to the address.

eddie makes absolutely zero attempts to try and find you, assuming that you’d already run off home. fuck it, he was out now. might as well prolong the inevitable argument with steve for as long as possible.

when steve arrives, he’s practically frantic, taking you from the kind girl as he leads you off home. his arm keeping your body held upright as you wail the entire way home.

‘steve..’ you sniffle, being guided into the empty apartment, ‘we kissed- eddie kissed me.. i didn’t mean to, i promise,’ clinging onto his neck as you’re lead into your bedroom.

he’s weirdly silent, placing you gently onto the bed, taking off your shoes before sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

‘have you taken anything?’ he questions, choosing to ignore your confession, for his own sanity mostly.

you nod into the pillow, sprawled out on the mattress as the room spins around you. it’s dizzying, and not just the room spinning but the fact that steve was still so gentle even after your admission.

‘what? what d’you take?’

‘i don’t know.. coke i think.’

he nods, swallowing the growing fury in his throat, ‘i’ll get you some water, try and sleep yeah?’

he goes to get up but you’re already grabbing onto his forearm, keeping him firmly on the bed, ‘don’t go.. please,’ your voice hoarse from the party.

god, you thought. you sound utterly pitiful, ashamed that even after all he had done for you, you couldn’t hold your shit together on your own and were still relying on steve.

‘okay,’ he whispers, kicking his shoes off and swinging his legs over and onto the bed, sitting up on the pillows rather than joining you properly.

his arm snakes around your back, lifting your body ever so slightly to slide his arm under, pulling you onto his warm chest. stubbly chin coming to rest atop of your head.

you nestle your head into his cotton shirt, ‘i love you,’ head rising with every breath he took, closing your eyes and attempting to fall asleep despite the fact it felt like there was something stabbing into the side of your brain.

-

steve’s sat, deadpanned on the couch when eddie attempts to creep back in. startled by his presence in the darkened room. by this time, the birds had begun to chirp as the first rays of sunlight crept through the blinds.

‘shit man..’ eddie clutches his chest, ‘you scared me,’ he fumbles his way through the room, still pretty intoxicated, lips sore from chewing on them all night.

steve blinks, scrunching up his face as the other boy takes a seat next to him. eddie’s sure he knows. you had definitely told him. jesus christ, why wouldn’t you? he fucked up. again.

‘you can’t stay here anymore,’ steve states, stoic.

he wasn’t letting much on here. eddie almost wishes he’d just beat his ass and get it over with at least it’d be better than this creepy shit he had going on.

‘bro.. i’m sorry, i was fucked up.. i don’t know what the hell i was doing,’ he’s staring wide-eyed at steve who’s staring straight ahead, jaw tense, ‘shit, punch me if you want.. god knows i’d deserve it.’

‘i don’t care,’ steve presses his tongue to the back of his teeth, ‘you come back and you fuck everything up.. do you know how hard i’ve tried to help her.. all these meds and doctors appointments,’ steve’s shoulder’s slump, ‘fuck man, i even had to take her to this creepy ass therapist and try not to beat the shit out of him every time i dropped her off.. d’you know how hard that was?’ he sounds desperate now, dropping the weird, unsettling facade, turning to eddie with a genuine look of hurt upon his face.

eddie’s mouth opens to reply, but he has nothing to say. hasn’t a clue how to answer that because he didn’t know. yeah, you’d told him about it and how steve hadn’t left your side throughout it all but he had no idea that this was how steve had felt.

‘no,’ steve scoffs, ‘no you don’t know.. because you weren’t there,’ he sighs before continuing, ‘you didn’t have to watch the love of your life be dragged away because some judge had deemed her crazy. you weren’t there week in, week out in that hospital.. helpless.’

steve wouldn’t ever think of you as a burden but fuck, he needed to tell literally anyone the shit he had bottled up and eddie was now the (un)willing participant to catch the brunt of his frustration.

eddie swallows, staring out into the dark room, ‘i didn’t know.. i’m sorry,’ he’s scrambling now, trying to think of something, anything to say that could help, but he can’t. in steve’s eyes, he’s the one who continually seems to ruin shit for you. ruin you.

‘so no, i don’t want to hit you because you kissed my girlfriend but i do want to fucking kill you for coming in here and messing her up all over again,’ steve spits, his words like venom as they hit eddie square in the face.

any traces of intoxication had been pummelled from his body, head beginning to pound from the impending hangover, chest heavy under the weight of steve’s words.

his eyes squeeze shut. he was a fuck up and he knew it. he wasn’t sure why he’d even done it. you just looked so pretty and blissful and.. and you’d smiled at him the way you used to and he’d thought that maybe that had meant something. the few seconds that you’d kissed him back had felt like euphoria, for the first time in so long everything felt right again.

steve interrupts his train of self-pitying thought by standing from the couch, turning to walk away but pauses, ‘i’ll help you find somewhere tomorrow.. maybe nance n’ all will let you stay,’ and even through all of this steve couldn’t help but be kind to the man.

that’s what hit eddie the hardest, that even though he had hurt his best friend.. he was still stood in front of him throwing him a line and offering a sense of patience and understanding that eddie hadn’t felt in far too long.

he watches in silence as steve slinks off to your shared bedroom, head hanging low in utter shame. he’d never admit aloud, and especially not to steve, but the thought of you was the one thing getting him through his sentence.

the first few months were pretty rocky, having to prove himself time and time again, resulting in a multitude of different injuries but at the end of the day, he’d climb into his bunk and re-read the letters you’d sent. thumbing the pages until they were yellowed and worn. the mere thought of you still thinking about him was enough to make him get out of bed each morning.

he peers down at his scarred hands, tracing over the glistening white indentations. they all told their own individual story, the big one that ran across the large part of his hand was the worst after being slashed with a makeshift shiv during a fight. he was quite lucky really, his hand had taken the majority of the damage and had meant he wasn’t left to bleed out on the floor.

so he’d gotten stitches, kept his mouth shut and things had started to change. and yet still, every night he’d go to bed thinking of your face, telling himself that it wasn’t long to go.

you were his saving grace. the only thing that had stopped him slipping into darkness. he’d thought about it plenty, hurting himself or one of the douchebag inmates he shared the small space with. at least that way he’d get moved into solitary, maybe he’d even prove himself to the other guys.

-

you keep quiet when steve comes into your bedroom, unsure of whether to let him know you had practically heard their entire conversation. the mattress dips when he gets into bed, exhaling softly and making sure the blanket is covering both of you.

he sits in silence for a moment, you can feel his eyes burning into your face before he eventually settles in and lies back on the pillow.

‘are you mad at me?’ you squeak, gazing at him from tired eyes.

your voice startles him, so sure that you were still asleep but he answers quickly, ‘no, never,’ turning on his side to face you, inches from your face. it felt so intimate like this, vulnerable.

‘i heard what you said.. i’m sorry for..’ your bottom lip wobbles and you try hard to blink away the brimming tears, ‘for putting you through that.’

he’s immediately comforting you, placing a warm hand on your sodden cheek, ‘you’re okay.. it’s okay, you didn’t do anything,’ steve’s gut twisted, he hadn’t meant for you to hear any of it and the thought of you feeling guilty for eddie’s sake pricked at his heart.

you nod, not completely believing his words but for the sake of not causing a problem so early in the morning, deciding to just accept it. no matter how much it had been parroted to you, there was no accepting that none of this was your fault.

‘it’s just the way your brain is wired,’ dr. foster had said during one of your sessions, ‘but i’m here to make it all better,’ his eyes were narrowed, carefully watching you from his leather chair.

the memory alone makes you shudder, he’d been all for this authentic, organic approach.. hosting the sessions in his home and perhaps at times, becoming a little too familiar. his hand patting your knee as you spoke, asking creepy questions about your relationship with steve and overstepping a shit ton of boundaries. he had these icy blue eyes that lingered on yours for too long, there was something deeply unsettling about the way they narrowed when steve was mentioned. the utter anger they held when you brought up eddie. oh no, he really didn’t like eddie.

he’d been the one to suggest that you slow down with the letters to eddie, telling you that focusing on recovery was more important. it had worked in his favour anyway, the letters becoming the least of your concerns as you navigated recovery.

nonetheless, he didn’t last long. you were still in that mellow adjustment period, getting used to the meds when steve had informed you that dr. foster was no longer going to be your therapist. something about a conflict of schedules but you weren’t sure how true that really was.

-

it had been a few weeks since you’d last seen eddie, unsure of where he was or what trouble he’d gotten himself into. maybe even a minuscule part of you was hoping that he’d got himself arrested, at least that way you’d know he was safe inside and not wrecked in a ditch somewhere.

for the most part, you’d managed to put him to the back of your mind. it was only when things got quiet did you worry about him. deep down, you knew it was for the best. you couldn’t be around him without that niggling voice in the back of your head creeping back up. there was too much history there.

and steve had been so wonderful. you’re not sure you’d ever felt love like this. so transparent and pure, so void of expectations that he could see you at your worst and still be just as content to love you.

it all makes your heart ache, were you enough for steve even when you were like this? he had bore witness to the most horrific times of your life and yet, he’d be there everyday with a smile on his face and an open heart prepared for whatever that day may bring.

he’d taken the day off of work to purely spend it with you. granted, you’d only wanted to sit on the couch and watch a bunch of terrible movies with him but it was good enough. you’re not sure how long you’ve now been on this couch, but you knew it was late as the street lights glimmer that harsh orange through the blinds.

this film has you falling asleep, steve’s pick, obviously. you’d slid down the couch to rest your head on his lap, eyelids weighing heavy as sleep threatens to take over.

until you’re both startled by the incessant banging on the door, fist pummelling into the already brittle wood. your head snaps upward towards steve, pouting at the rude awakening. who on earth could find the need to pound the door at this time?

‘you expectin’ anyone?’ steve asks curiously, sliding your head from his thigh, very cautiously getting off of the couch to answer the door.

‘no? robin, maybe?’ unless robin had turned into a rabid zombie, you were sure it probably wasn’t her on the other side.

steve peers through the peep hole, seemingly taken aback but what or whoever he sees on the other side, ‘shit..’ cursing under his breath as he slides the chain from the door, opening it just slightly.

‘what?’ petrified by his reaction, sitting up on the couch to prepare for the impending insanity on the other side.

‘jesus man.. what are you doing here?’ he’s pushed aside as what looks like one eddie munson barges through the door, gasping for air and looking worse for wear.

he’s clutching his knees, doubled over as he tries to catch his breath, ‘i fucking.. ran the whole way here..’

if you’re being honest, he looks terrible. hair limp as it hangs around his face, clothes dirtied and you can’t see his face properly but you’re sure there’s a shiner of a bruise on his cheek.

‘what are you doing? what’s wrong?’ you fret, swinging your legs over the side of the couch as steve closes the door, bolting it up again in hopes that whatever eddie was running from was not following him.

he exhales before standing up straight, wiping the sweat from his forehead, ‘i need your help.. both of you,’ looking to steve who was stood with his hand on his hip, concerned about the inevitable mess eddie had just welcomed back into your lives.

‘why? where have you been?’

the last you’d heard from him, nancy had, very reluctantly, agreed to let him stay in their couch for a few days until he got himself sorted. but they’d woken up the next morning to find that he was no longer on said couch, not a trace of him left behind. he was completely unreachable, no phone, no idea where he had escaped off to and absolutely no one had seen or heard from him.

initially it had been a frenzy to try and find him until you collectively realised that he didn’t want to be found this time. and you had to mourn him all over again.

‘steve, d’you still know how to make fakes?’ completely ignoring your question, blinking at a puzzled steve.

your eyes flit to steve, unaware that he apparently had a history in counterfeit goods. perhaps a crucial bit of information he’d glossed over there.

‘not anymore.. what the fuck do you need that for?’

‘you know anyone that does? i’m desperate man.. i- i’ll pay,’ eddie pants, ‘name your price,’ chest heaving as he stands in the middle of your living room. he felt out of place here now, stuck out like a sore thumb.

steve ponders for a second, ‘uhh.. i dunno, maybe.. what’ve you done?’ sighing softly.

‘i need to leave the country.. i fucked up.. big time,’ eyes flitting to you with a certain sadness. even now, he didn’t want to disappoint you yet it seemed to be all he could do.

‘what’ve you done?’ you press, chewing on the inside of your cheek. mind running to the worst possibly conclusion. murder wasn’t out of the equation if you were honest.

eddie runs a dirtied, ringed hand over his face, ‘you know how i’m kinda s’posed to be in jail right now?’ it was already glaringly obvious that he hadn’t been released early.

‘yeah..’

‘well, i uh- i paid some guys off, they said they could get me out.. get me away from here,’ only now is he realising how fucking stupid that sounded.

‘eddie.. what?’ you exclaim, astonished by the sheer stupidity he constantly displayed. you’d thought that maybe he’d have learnt something from jail, that was the point of it, wasn’t it? learn from your mistakes and better yourself.

‘look, it doesn’t matter.. they’re asking for more money and i don’t have it,’ he says exasperated, ‘i need to disappear.. just for a little while, til they forget about it,’ eyes steady on you, as if to seek your approval.

you blink, where was he even planning to go? were you just never going to see him again?

‘i can’t get you outta the country but.. i might have a friend that can help,’ steve’s voice pipes up, tearing your eyes from eddie to look at him.

‘how?’ you exclaim, wondering what other things he had kept secret from you.

‘my friend’s out in california.. i think he’d put you up there,’ nodding at eddie, he probably didn’t deserve this kindness but steve couldn’t just leave him stranded. there was too much history to ever turn his back on his friend, even now, after everything, he was still holding his hand out for eddie.

‘that’d be.. fuck, that’d be.. good,’ eddie nods along, appreciative of anything you could do for him. turning to meet your gaze once more.

he knows this is it.

there wasn’t any coming back from this. no next time. it was california or it was death. and he sure as shit wasn’t a fan of the second option.

you think, deep down, that you know it too.

the likelihood of seeing him again is next to nothing. if he didn’t get himself killed, he’d certainly never be coming back here. this wasn’t for him, never had been really. well, maybe once upon a time when you looked at him without that sadness in your eye it had been.

when he thought back to it, he was sure the he knew you’d never loved him, he’d just been pretending for so long that his mind had played tricks on him, made him believe it. that’s why he’d lashed out that night, he’d convinced himself that you were in love with him. but you weren’t, and his heart had realised that fact quicker than his head had.

steve disappears into your bedroom in search of his phone, leaving you two alone in the living room. everything you want to say stays unsaid. heavy as it lingers between you. there’s not really much you can say in this moment that wouldn’t make things worse.

instead, you just nod.

as if to say that he could go. he could let you go.

eddie understands. but he’s not sure he ever will.

[taylorgrace-writes]

Make Out Session

Pairings: Steve x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 599

AN: Just a short lil something I wrote in like 15min cuz I haven’t posted in a hot sec. Based around S1E1 -T

You head into Hawkins High, wading through the bustling hallway. Your two best friends Nancy and Barb fall into step beside you. 

“So did he call?” Nancy asks you. 

“Will you keep your voice down?” You hiss at her, a playful smirk on your lips. 

“Well did he?” Barb speaks up beside you. You shake your head no, walking up to your locker. 

“I’ve told you before, it's not like that,” you tell them as you work to open your locker, Barb shooting Nancy a knowing look. “Okay, I mean, yes, fine, he likes me, you both know that, but not like that. We’ve only made out a couple of times.”

“We only made out a couple of times.” Barb mimics you as Nancy giggles beside her.

“Jesus, you’re gonna be so cool now,” Nancy tells you as Barb nods along in agreement.

“No, I’m not!” You retort back.

“You better still hang out with us, that’s all I’m saying,” Nancy tells you.

“Yeah, if you become friends with Carol and Tommy H…” Barb trails off.

“Ew, no. Gross. And I’m telling you guys again, this was just a one-time… two-time…thing.” You tell them as your open your locker up to have a folded slip of paper fall out. You pick up the small slip of paper and open it. 

Meet Me. Bathroom. Steve.

You look to Nancy and Barb as they read the note over your shoulder. 

“You were saying?” Barb comments. 

Before you know it, you're in the girl's restroom at Hawkins High, full-on making out with none other than Steve Harrington. As your lips continue to clash as the kissing becomes more and more intense, a bell rings, indicating the 5-minute warning before the first period starts. You crash into reality, no longer lost in lust for Steve. You reluctantly pull away from Steve and he tries to chase your lips with flushed cheeks. 

“Okay, I, have to go.” You tell Steve as he continues to kiss your neck.

“Just one more minute.” He murmurs against your hot skin. You enjoy his lips on your neck for a few more seconds before calling him again.

“Steve…”

“Yeah?” he asks in between kisses. 

“I really, like seriously, have to go.” You gasp out before finally tearing your body away from his and pulling your backpack on. 

“Let’s do something tonight, yeah?” Steve asks, doing the same.

“I can’t, I have to study. For Kaminsky’s Chem test.” You stutter out as Steve pulls you close to him again.

“What’s your GPA again? Three-point nine?”

“Kaminsky’s tests are impossible.”

“So let me help you.”

“You failed chem.”

“Oh come on, it was only a C minus.” You look at him sternly, shaking your head and giving a little laugh.

“So, should I come over, say, eight?”

“Uh, are you crazy? My mom won’t allow that, no way.”

“Who says she needs to ‘allow’ anything? I’ll just climb through your window, she won’t even know I’m there. I’m stealthy, like a ninja.”

“You are crazy.” You tell Steve, turning away from him towards the door to go to class.

“Okay, okay, forget your place, we’ll just chill in my car, find a nice quiet place to park.”

“Steve, I have to study, I’m not kidding.”

“Why do you think I want it nice and quiet?” You can’t help but smile at him. 

“You’re an idiot Steve Harrington.” You tell him before pushing the bathroom door open. “I’ll meet you at Dearborn and Maple at eight. To study,” you tell him at the last second before the door closes on him.

[arrow-guy]

Within the Ashes (1/??)

Summary: You’ve spent your life working for someone else. You watch their back, you protect them, but you’re left feeling empty and unfulfilled at the end of the day. What happens when a freak accident transports you to a different dimension, very nearly identical to your own?

A/N: Please understand this has been in my head for almost a year at this point and started out with the reader being an LMD without knowing it. That’s definitely not the situation with the story now, but please know it’s been through a lot of Idea Workshopping lmao. Also, the version of the FF that’s in this story is definitely a very Fanfiction-ified version, but it’s my coping mechanism, so I decide who’s good and who’s gay. Thank u for coming to my preface, please enjoy the first chapter.

Page dividers by @carryonmyswansong​​

Pairing: StevexReader, background Spideytorch

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Fire, explosions, extreme injury (burns, cuts, contusions), gross descriptions of burns, rapid healing, canon typical violence

“Reed, I honestly don’t think we should test it today.”

“And why’s that?”

“Promise you’ll take my concerns seriously? Because you’ve been a dick about it every other time.”

Without looking away from his screens, Reed suggests, “How about you tell me, and I’ll do my level best to keep an open mind.”

“Fine.” It’s not much, but she knows it’s the best she’ll get. “I just have a bad feeling about it.”

“Another gut feeling?” He finally turns his head to look at her, eyebrows raised dramatically. “Is that really enough to put off this test?”

“We live in a world where magic is real and you’re questioning a gut feeling?” She folds her arms. “There’s evidence that proves the existence of a nervous system in the stomach, Reed. You know this. Gut feelings are a thing, and very seldom are mine wrong. And you’d know this if you ever cared to actually listen to me.”

Reed stretches his neck so that his face is just slightly too close to (Y/N)’s. “Name one instance.”

“Two weeks ago when you were tinkering with that vacuum chamber. I told you something was wrong with it, you brushed it off because it was a gut feeling. Then it blew up.”

“Oh please-”

“I had a six inch shard of glass stuck in my shoulder!”

He rolls eyes and his head snaps back to his shoulders. Reed waves her off. “You healed.”

“I wouldn’t have had to heal in the first place if you’d listened to me.”

“We’re still testing the transport today.”

“Seriously?”

“I… respect your gut feelings, but we can’t allow that to get in the way of the progression of science.”

(Y/N) scowls. “This is exactly why no one wants to work with you.”

“You want to work with me.”

“I took the job as a favor to Johnny.”

“And yet it’s been eight years.”

“Yeah,” she mutters. “Eight years of me getting blown up and lugging shit all across the countryside.”

“I heard that.”

“Good.”

(Y/N) grabs her empty mug from her work table and stalks down to the kitchen. Sue is sitting at the bar when she walks in. She waves in lieu of a greeting and keeps her eyes trained on the tablet in her hand.

(Y/N) pours herself a cup of coffee and stares down at the full mug. The realization of what the rest of the day might hold hits her and she’s just about ready to give up. She tips her head back, covers her face, and groans.

“I think your husband’s trying to kill me.”

“Well that’s nothing new,” Sue says. “What’d he do this time?”

“He wants to test that interdimensional transport he’s been working on. I have a bad feeling about it, but I don’t have the knowledge to back it up, so he’s just brushing my concerns to the side.”

“Well that doesn’t sound good.”

“He always ignores me. And every single time, I’m the one caught in the blast. Literally.”

“I know, (Y/N), I’m sorry.”

(Y/N) dumps sugar and cream into her coffee and sighs. “If I don’t come back from the lab today, Reed did it.”

“Duck and cover if something starts sparking.”

“We’ll see if I even get the chance.”

(Y/N) takes her coffee, drains half the mug in one go, and goes back to the lab.

Reed doesn’t seem to have noticed her absence, so she simply takes herself and her coffee to her table and waits for instructions.

“It’s not supposed to make that noise, right?”

“It is not,” Reed confirms.

The thunking noise coming from the transport grows louder and (Y/N) resists the urge to rub her temples. Reed doesn’t appear to be particularly concerned as he stretches across the length of the lab, searching for the source of the sound.

“Something must be loose,” (Y/N) says. “Is it on the body?”

“Not that I can see.” A sheet of metal shears off of one of the machine’s rotating arms and (Y/N) yanks him back just far enough that it misses slicing off his nose. “Thank you.”

“So something’s wrong with the arms,” (Y/N) posits. “The most dangerous part of the machine.”

“It would seem so.”

“I vote we turn it off and try again next week.”

“We don’t know if that’s enough to hinder its performance.”

“It’s enough to hinder our performance as living, breathing people.”

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” Reed creeps closer to his machine and (Y/N) cringes at the way she immediately follows behind.

“It’s securely locked away with the part of me that wanted to be a superhero.” She pulls him out of the way of another flying scrap of machine. “Because, contrary to popular opinion, just because I heal quickly doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when I’m injured.”

“Hm, maybe we should look at that when we’re finished here.”

“Maybe you should find a new assistant when we’re finished here.”

Reed says something about her not being any fun, but she doesn’t register any of it. Her eyes are drawn to sparking near the base of the machine. Another chunk goes flying at them just as some of the sparks are sucked into the vent below the arms. (Y/N) is struck by the flying machine chunk as she shields Reed from it. She winces and hears an unidentifiable function of the transport stutter as another plume of sparks is sucked into the vent. She grabs as much of Reed’s body as she can and throws him towards the door, limbs flapping behind him, right as the entire machine explodes.

The force of the explosion propels Reed out into the hallway, but (Y/N) is caught in the blast. There’s a bright white flash and a blood-curdling scream and then all that’s left is the fire.

Sue is sprinting up the hallway with Ben and Johnny on her heels just as Reed manages to get his feet under himself again. All he can do is stare.

“What happened?” Sue demands. “Where is (Y/N)?”

“She saw what was happening before I did. She threw me out of the lab, but…”

“Reed,” Sue’s voice is deadly low. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t listen,” he says. “The transport malfunctioned and (Y/N) was caught in the blast.”

“Johnny,” Sue is very careful to keep her voice steady. “Put out the fire.”

Johnny simply does as he’s told. He disappears into the fire to absorb what he can and stomp out the rest. Ben surveys the progress from just outside the doorway. He says something about calling Peter and Johnny agrees from somewhere deeper in the lab.

“I screwed up, Sue.”

“No, Reed, you killed our friend. Your employee, might I add. And not even two hours ago she said you were trying to kill her.”

“I wasn’t trying to do anything of the sort.”

“I know that, but you get so blinded by your work that you can’t see when you’re putting people in danger.”

Johnny appears in the darkened doorway of the lab, tears rising in steam from his cheeks. “She was my friend, Reed.”

“I know-”

“She took this job because I begged her to!” Johnny shoves Reed, hard, into the wall. Flames lick at his fingers and Ben gently separates him from Reed. “But now she’s gone and I can’t even find her body in that warzone you call a lab.”

Reed frowns. "You didn't find her body?"

"Wh-that’s what you’re focusing on?

“Answer the question, Johnny.”

He scowls. “No, I didn’t find her. She was probably incinerated."

"Are you sure you didn't overlook anything?"

Johnny's shoulders shake with his anger. "I know what charred human remains look like, Reed. She's. Not. There."

Reed raises one shaking hand to his forehead and turns to Sue. “It might’ve worked.”

“What?”

“The transport. If there’s no body-” he rushes past Johnny and Ben without another word. Sue follows silently after him.

“That’s it, I think he finally lost his marbles,” Ben mutters.

“It doesn’t change the fact that he killed (Y/N).” Johnny wipes his eyes and turns to follow Reed to the lap. “God, Peter’s gonna flip when he finds out.”

“Don’t think about that right now,” Ben says.

“Hard not to,” he mumbles.

“I know but, if Reed’s machine did work, she could still be out there.”

“What if this is the time she doesn’t heal? You see how burnt it is in there. How could anyone survive that?”

“Dunno, but (Y/N)’s strong. If anyone could do it, it’d be her.”

Sue reappears in the doorway. Her hands and feet are covered in ash.

“There’s no sign of her,” she says. “We sifted through everything we could. There’s only a spot with slightly less ash than the rest of the room.”

“So you think Reed’s transport worked?” Johnny asks.

“I don’t know what to think. For everyone’s peace of mind, I hope it did. Then we might have a chance to track her down and bring her home.”

Johnny nods and drags his hands through his hair. “I have to make a call.”

Sue rubs his arm and nods. Johnny stalks off down the hall.

“Boss, there’s a disturbance in the electrical field in your lab.”

“Any extra information on that?”

“Based on the readings, it seems that someone may be teleporting directly into the tower.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s the best word I could find.”

Tony frowns. “I’m headed up now. Find Steve and have him meet me there.”

“Of course, boss.”

Steve is already in the lab when Tony arrives, pacing along the far side of the room. There’s a bright ball of light forming in the middle of the lab and Steve’s eyes don’t stray from that spot as he moves, even when Tony strides through the door. Tony just stops and stares at the light.

“How long has that been here?” Tony asks.

“It was here when I walked in.” Steve squints at the light. “What is it?”

“Not sure. F.R.I.D.A.Y.  says someone’s trying to teleport into the tower.”

“Teleport?” Tony nods. “Does that kind of tech actually exist?”

“Not that I know of, but we’ve seen some pretty weird shit in the last ten years. It’d be stupid to just write it off.”

Steve stops pacing and jerks his chin towards the light. “Looks like it’s getting bigger.”

The ball of light slowly, steadily expands. When it’s about as wide as Steve is tall the lab fills with a terrible, painful scream and the light grows too bright for either man to keep their eyes open. The scream grows louder and Steve tries to shield his eyes in an attempt to find where the noise is coming from, but to no avail. Then, suddenly, the screaming stops and the light disappears followed by a distinctly sticky thud.

Tony rubs his eyes and Steve blinks light spots from his vision, willing his eyes to adjust to the room again. When they do, he visibly recoils from the vaguely human shaped mass of burned flesh on the tile in front of him.

"Oh God," he says. "Is that a person?"

----------

Part 2

How’s that for a first chapter? I’ll be very honest, I’m excited to finally be posting this one. It’s been a bit of a brainchild of mine for the better part of a year and a half at this point, maybe more. Pandemic time doesn’t work right.

As always, I’d love to know what you thought of this chapter! What do you think of the reader? Her relationship with Reed and the rest of the FF? What do you think will happen in the next chapter? Be sure to reblog, comment, and/or shoot me an ask and tell me all about it!

Tag List:

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[dc41896]

What You Want

Was watching Civil War and thought of this idea☺️. Hope you guys like it!

Pairing: Steve RogersxBlack Reader

⚠️: Bit of angst, mentions of death, fluff

Just hearing his short sniffles through the phone make you quickly stop typing as worry and fear fills your body.

“Steve, what’s wrong? You okay?”

“She’s gone,” he spoke just above a whisper.

“Who?”

“Peggy.”

In your short month of dating, Steve hadn’t gone too deep into detail about him and Peggy. You knew she was a very close friend and someone of major importance in his life. He honestly didn’t have to tell you though, since you could see that for yourself. Before Sam’s meetings, you could overhear the two men from your help desk talking a bit further up the hall about his earlier visit and how she was doing that day. Sometimes he’d have to leave early to go see her after getting calls from the nurse saying how she wouldn’t do anything they told her and kept asking for him.

The last part being the reason how you met after he accidentally swung the door open a bit too hard hitting your shoulder. He profusely apologized asking if you were hurt and even looked over the injured body part to see for himself. You insisted you were fine and even apologized yourself for being too close to the door in the first place, but he continued with his apologies.

The next day he arrived about 30 minutes early with a cupcake sealed in a small, plastic case and a single red carnation apologizing, yet again, for hurting your shoulder. This led to you both talking before and after meetings, getting coffee, and eventually your first date.

“I’m so sorry Steve. Give me a few minutes, I’ll be over soon.”

“You don’t have to. I’m at the compound right now, plus I-I know you’re probably busy.”

“I’m not. And even if I was, right now you’re more important.”

Miraculously, you can hear a smile break through his tears making you softly smile yourself.

“Thanks. You still don’t have to worry about coming to see me though.”

“You sure?”

“Yea, but only because I um think I’d rather be at your place. I-If that’s okay with you?”

“Of course. I’ll go ahead and order food so it’ll be here by the time you come.”

Sure enough, by the time Steve arrived at your door you had just finished removing the containers of Chinese from the paper bag they arrived in. Eyes and cheeks red, you immediately hug your arms around his waist as soon as he walks through the door. He tried to be strong, but feeling your warmth against him along with how sweet and caring you were only made him break down more.

Leading him to the couch, you spread one of your throw blankets across both of your laps before getting a tissue to wipe his tears. As you gently rubbed his back, he told you more about his relationship with Peggy and how finding out she was still alive when he thought he had no one only made her more important. Since then, he’d found out about Bucky being alive too, which came with its own complications, but now that she was gone, it was like a piece of him left too.

You finally got him to eat after a while longer of talking, and even watched a funny movie to try to get his mind off things. Before you could offer to cut on something else, you notice his closed eyes with head propped on his arm. He looked so peaceful as his long lashes sat against his skin with lips slightly parted, that you hated to wake him after the emotional day he had.

“Steve,” you gently speak rubbing his upper arm until his blue eyes slowly appeared. “Wake up, it’s late.”

He sits up with a stretch, covering a hand over his mouth to yawn before looking down at his watch.

“Oh you’re right, sorry.”

“No you’re fine,” you smile standing along side him as he starts to clean up the empty and half eaten boxes of food. “I can take care of it, you don’t have to do that.”

“After everything you’ve done it’s the least I could do,” he smiles putting what food he can together in one container and anything else by itself before throwing away the trash. “Thank you again Y/N for being there.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m just trying to do what I can to help.”

As you both finish in the kitchen, you feel like a ball of butterflies going back and forth with yourself on if you should say what’s been on your mind.

“Well, I’ll see you later then,” he states before kissing your temple and then moving to your lips.

“Um, actually Steve?,” you start, holding onto his hand and making him instinctively come closer.

“If you want, you can stay here tonight? It’s pretty late and I don’t want you traveling alone. I mean not that anyone would mess with you, because you’re you,” you nervously laugh. “But still. Plus I-I wouldn’t feel right with you being alone right now.”

Clear blue eyes seemingly peering into your soul, you clear your throat becoming fearful that maybe he thought you were overstepping.

“I-If it’s too early on though, I completely understand. Or if you want to be alone for a while that’s fine too.”

“No no, I uh really appreciate you looking out for me like that,” he answers with a small smile as he peers down at your intertwined hands. “It’s been a while since I had someone besides the Avengers doing that for me.”

“Well, I care about you and just want to make sure you’re good.” Eyes meeting yours, his smile widens before closing the remaining gap between the two of you. His larger, slightly calloused hand caresses your cheek as you let him gently tilt your head to gain better access to your waiting lips. Slow, but not painfully so, his lips moving with yours make you feel as if the perfect ray of sun has somehow managed to touch every single surface of your body instantly warming you.

As you both lied under your covers the rest of the night, his head resting on your chest and palm splayed against your back while you carefully raked your fingers through his hair, Steve never felt so safe. It seemed crazy to admit so early, but with every occasional peck you left on his forehead you felt more and more like home. The home he’d been missing since he woke up all those years ago in a different time among those of a completely new generation.

And you felt just as comfortable with your legs tangled in his while he securely held onto you, as if he didn’t want to let you go. Smiling to yourself hearing his soft snores, you can only hope that this feeling never leaves.

———

So far, the service was nice. It seemed as though the entire New York area was in attendance from the packed pews in the large church. If it wasn’t for Steve being a close friend, neither he, Sam, nor yourself probably would’ve been able to sit.

Although in the midst of a somber moment, you were holding everything together well until you watched him carry in her casket with the other pallbearers. The tears streaming down his red cheeks immediately triggered your own as if you could personally feel the ache in his heart as he said a final goodbye to his first love.

Your arm stays wrapped around his and his hand holding onto yours during the priest’s words of how courageous, adventurous, strong willed, and overall wonderful a woman Ms. Carter was. This makes a small smile appear on his face at their memories as he blinks away more tears.

“Next, with a few words of her own, we’ll hear from Ms. Sharon Carter,” the priest announces causing Steve to visibly stiffen along with Sam.

“You okay?,” you whisper leaning closer to his ear.

“Yea, everything’s fine.”

Judging from the look he and Sam gave each other before looking back towards the front of the church though, that wasn’t the case.

You intently listened to Sharon’s eulogy and the stories she told about the lessons she’d learned from her favorite aunt that helped her become who she was today, but you couldn’t help but notice the way she looked towards your pew. Specifically, at Steve.

Glancing your eyes up at him, you could see his had the same look leaving you with a heartache of your own.

Clearly there was history between the two, which left you wondering what that would mean for you. Sure they weren’t obviously sending flirty glances towards each other, but who knows what Steve was currently thinking.

What if this old flame brought back newfound feelings?

As the funeral ended and the pews began to empty one by one, the three of you are stopped by someone calling Steve’s name.

“Steve, hey,” Sharon smiles walking up to your small group.

“H-hey Sharon.” He momentarily leaves your side giving her a probably much needed hug. Watching her head fall on his shoulder as he comfortingly rubs up and down her back, that ache strengthens as your mind begins to race.

What if Sharon was who he was meant to be with? They both had military ties in some form and must’ve had a strong enough connection during their time. Surely he found more in common with her than you.

You hadn’t noticed you dropped your head looking down at your black heels until you felt a slight nudge from Sam giving you a reassuring wink.

“Sharon you remember Sam,” Steve speaks gesturing to the man beside you.

“Of course, hi.”

“Hey, I’m sorry for your loss,” he says also giving her a hug.

“And this is Y/N,” Steve introduces as you quickly try to get out of your head.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“No worries, it’s nice to meet you too. Your eulogy was really beautiful,” you softly smile.

“Thank you. I’m glad I was able to get through it holding everything together.”

“Peggy would’ve been proud,” Steve adds causing Sharon to shyly smile, tucking a few stray strands of her long, blonde hair behind her ear before meeting his eyes.

“Well I uh need to see if the plot at the graveyard is ready for her,” she explains taking turns looking at each of you. “Thank you all so much for coming to pay your respects.”

“Let me walk with you in case you need any help,” Steve suggests.

“Um sure, thanks.”

“Of course,” he replies before stepping towards you. “I’ll meet you back at your place okay?”

“Yea that’s fine.”

Sweetly kissing your cheek, you muster the best smile you can as he and Sharon walk side by side out of the church leaving you and Sam as the only people left.

“Welp, looks like we’ve been ditched,” he sighs.

“Yea guess we weren’t cool enough.”

“Psh more like too cool.” Holding his arm out for you to hook yours around, you laugh as you both walk out to the gloomy, cloud covered sky waiting outside.

By the time Steve returned to your apartment that evening, it was just before dark. He called on his way asking if you were hungry or needed him to get anything, to which you answered a simple “no” still trying to sound okay.

As if you hadn’t been wondering since you walked through your door where yours and Steve’s relationship now stood with his interaction with Sharon earlier.

While you felt you were convincing, it wasn’t enough for the super soldier whose enhanced hearing seemed to pick up on the slight wavering in your voice from your recently released tears. You didn’t want to cry and tried everything to stop them from happening, but at the thought of Steve leaving you couldn’t help it. You really liked him and wanted you guys to last as long as you could.

A faint soapy smell wafts from the bathroom as he opens the door, now dressed in his white tank and dark grey sweatpants. Hair still wet, he rubs his towel over his short blonde locs gazing at you peering down at your hands as you play with the seam of the white comforter across you. The soft smile on his face quickly turns to concern though meeting your eyes that didn’t seem as bright anymore.

“You okay?”

“Yea. How about you? How are you feeling after everything?”

“I’m fine, but I’m more concerned with you right now,” he answers neatly folding the towel before moving to your side of the bed and sitting next to your legs. Right hand finding your covered leg while his left reaches out to glide his thumb against your cheek, his sympathetic smile nearly causes more unwanted tears to show.

“You know you can talk to me.”

There’s a brief pause as you sigh trying to find your words and exactly how you wanted to say them.

“Is that why you didn’t want me to come with you?,” you finally ask earning a confused head tilt from Steve. “Because she would be there?”

“What? No of course not, I didn’t even know she was going nor that they were related. And I never said I didn’t want you to go, I said you didn’t have to and didn’t want you to feel obligated since you didn’t know Peggy.”

“I never would’ve felt like that. She was your friend, plus I went to support you.” There you were again, always finding some way to warm his heart when he felt at his lowest. “Everything was okay with the plot?”

“Yea, she’s next to her husband with a few of the flowers from the funeral near her headstone. After I helped her with that, I made sure Sharon got in her place okay and we sat and talked for a while.”

He didn’t have to tell you everything that happened, but you appreciated him being so open with you.

“From the glances between you two during her speech, I um assume you guys dated?,” you carefully ask watching him nod.

“Briefly, yes.”

“And seeing her probably brought back memories....” Scooting closer taking your cold hands in his, he bends down kissing your knuckles before turning them over to show the same attention to your wrists.

“It did, but it’s not making me forget about those that I’ve made recently,” he smiles. “Is that why you’re upset? That I left with her?”

“No I-I...ugh it’s dumb honestly.”

“I doubt it is. Tell me.”

Sinking down nearly hiding your whole body under the sheets, your groan nearly makes him laugh as your eyes and top of your head peek out from the covers.

“I’m not upset you left with her, I just..started thinking that maybe what you had with her would make you want to go back. Which I would completely understand, I mean I’m sure you guys have a lot in common, plus bottom line it’s your choice-,”

“Y/N,” he interrupts pulling the cover down to see your nervous face. “Yea Sharon and I have things in common and had a good time together, but in the end it didn’t work. Nothing against her, but going back is the last thing on my mind. Especially since something new has taken up most of its space.”

“The Avengers,” you answer making him chuckle.

“Not exactly.”

Leaning down, his lips approaching yours tell you what, or better yet who, he was actually referring to. His minty flavored lips molding with yours as your hand finds the back of his neck, his hand on your hip moving you over to make room for his larger body causes you to giggle momentarily breaking your moment.

“Um you’re on my side of the bed..,” you smirk.

“Like you really care,” he smirks back playfully nuzzling his nose into your cheek. “As many times as you’ve wandered over to my side.”

Meeting his lips one last time, you both settle in your usual positions with his face lying in the crook of your neck as you raked through his hair with legs tangled together. Although Steve would surely be sound asleep at any moment from the gradual slowing of his finger mindlessly drawing near your shoulder blade, you didn’t know if you’d be able to having his words replaying in your mind.

“I’m really always on your mind?,” you whisper, more so speaking out loud in disbelief than expecting an answer.

“All day and night,” Steve groggily answers with sleep already set in his voice before he pecks along your collarbone.

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If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged and don’t see your name, only wants to be tagged for certain people I write for (can be found on masterlist), or no longer wish to be tagged just let me know🤓!

[andvys]

so i loved IKYLLATK, it was my fav storie and probably a lot of people adored it since it was very angst with steve (since we love suffering for that boy lol) but a lot of people tent to love short ones, “I want it here and now” some can be impatient but also cause life or work stuff. Of course I’m no saying you should do it shorter, personally I love long chapters but impatient people may drifted apart. also eddie, as much as I adore his dorky ass, he came out of nowhere in a stevexreader story and love triangles isn’t everyone cup of tea or poly (some people get triggered) cause there wasn’t any “warning” or tag at the start indicating that this story was going to be that or it was going to take that direction, I’m just trying to give you reasons why it took by surprise, at least to most of us.

But regardless, I know you can change and adap your story however you want and ad whoever you want, at the end it’s your piece of artwork and the fact you take time of YOUR LIFE to give us content to us non-writers is something I appreciate a lot! Keep going, you writing is amazing! 🤗

yeah, I will definitely try to write mini series in the future. this was supposed to be a mini series actually, but apparently I struggle to write them lmao

there was no warning for the love triangle or for the Eddie x reader in this story because it wasn't planned, it just happened in the process of writing and I cannot give warnings for future chapters when I don't even know what will happen in future chapters!

but thank you, I'm glad you like my writing :)