#Steve why don’t you work there anymore Steve. Steve WHYYY

[aeolianblues]

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #61

“tell me pretty lies, look me in the face, tell me that you love me, even if it’s fake.”

do you believe exes think about you?   aaron, definitely not.  juan, i guess, 'cuz he talks to me sometimes.  jason, i would sure as hell hope so. are you currently frustrated with a boy / girl?   pretty sure i always will be. would you ever consider piercing your tongue?   yes.  i want the snake eyes piercing. are you a forgiving person?   i really am, usually.  give me a good reason to not forgive though, and i'm done with you. do you straighten your hair often?   not at all. what's your favorite eye color?   sapphire blue or emerald green what's your biggest physical turn off for a potential partner?   i don't really care about a lot of physical things, just please maintain your hygiene. have you ever taken a train?   no, i have not. describe your first job.   i was a sales clerk at gamestop.  i had no idea what i was doing and was thrown into the lion's den well before i was properly trained.  i cleaned and assisted customers, but i wasn't prepared for the wacky questions they always had.  i hated it. are you afraid of the dark? why or why not?   no, i'm afraid of what may be in the dark.  ex., i have no issues when my room is dark, but i'd be scared of being alone in the woods at night because i wouldn't be able to see potential dangers. who did you idolize growing up?   steve irwin, easily.  rip<3 have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive?   that... was one of my mixed reason for cutting.  i did it because it was a way to manifest my mental pain.  that, and because it reminded me i was alive, even though i didn't want to be.  i felt in control again, knowing i could control whether i lived or died.  i could go on, but i really don't feel like dwelling on this subject.  it's some morbid shit. have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone?   i have not. where is a great place to get breakfast?   mmm, ihop. have you ever sold anything online either on craigslist, ebay, amazon, etc.? if not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things?   i don't believe my family has... but maybe?  and we usually use ebay or amazon to buy stuff. if the opportunity arose, would you ever go to a nude beach? do you think you’d be comfortable enough, being naked among others like that?   NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO do you think regifting is cheap, or is it okay? have you ever regifted before?   usually, no, but sometimes it can be.  it really depends on what the gift is.  and i don't recall if i ever have, but it's possible. have you ever had to “come out” to your parents about anything (sexual orientation, change in religion, etc.)? how did it go?   hmm, don't think so.  i mean i've changed religion before, but it didn't feel like "coming out" with anything if you were given the chance to decorate an entire house the way you wanted, with no limit to cost, how would you decorate it?   GOTHIC describe your favorite picture of yourself, or post it.   i miss him so much.

is there a genre of music that some people would be surprised that you enjoy?   i don't know what genre it's called, but i looove musicians like loreena mckennitt assuming you have a facebook, if one of your friends posted things that annoyed you, would you be more likely to delete them as a friend, hide their statuses, or just put up with it?   it depends on how heavily it annoyed me, how frequently they posted said issues, and how close i consider them to be. do you have any online friends?   way more than irl friends. has your favorite color changed at all from when you were younger? if so, what was your favorite when you were little?   yeah.  when i was little, my favorite color was red.  now it's maroon.  same color, yeah, different hue. what is your favorite breakfast food?   pancakes what band/celebrity/etc do you know the most information about? who would you like to learn more about?   i definitely know most about ozzy osbourne and metallica.  i'd love to know more about otep's history. have you ever had to go to therapy? for what?   i started going to therapy in the 6th grade for severe anxiety, and it only got worse from there. if you got pregnant young, would you get married to the guy who got you pregnant? for guys, if you got a girl pregnant at a young age, would you marry her?   hell no, not unless i actually loved the guy.  that's not what marriage is about. if you got pregnant young, would your parents kick you out of your house? for guys, if you got a girl pregnant young and your parents kicked you out, would you be angry at them?   no, my mom would never have kicked me out. do you feel pregnant teens should have to go to an alternate high school? do you think this would benefit them at all, or that it’s just discrimination?   ... whyyy would they go to an alternate school??? has your school ever done something terrible and wrong to you? what did they do and how did you deal with it?   i was discriminated against for my mental illness, i feel like.  my principal also treated it like a fucking joke when my problems got so bad that i had to confront him about the issue.  he didn't give a shit.  OH MY GOD YA'LL SPEAKING ABOUT MY OLD PRINCIPAL, THERE IS A MEME TRENDING AROUND FACEBOOK WITH HIM I FUCKING WHEEZED WHEN I SAW IT would your parents let your {possibly hypothetical} boyfriend stay at your house if he got kicked out of his house?   honestly, i feel like mom would.  if it was jason/someone i become as close to as him, anyway. have you ever not been allowed to hang out with your neighbor before? was it your parents or their parents that wouldn’t allow you to?   no, i've never had that issue. who has the ability to hurt you the most emotionally?   jason, easily.  i gave too much to him, and i can't get it back. have you ever been used?   maybe i was, who knows.  i feel in my heart he truly did love me, but i find it hard to believe one could walk away so easily from someone they "loved" for so long... do you take walks often?   not anymore.. have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?   hm, what songs have i listened to today...  i don't think so. what does your phone do when you get a new message?   it chirps if you could make your lips bigger, would you?   no, they're fine. does it matter to you if your bf/gf smokes cigs?   honestly, i wouldn't date a smoker.  pick me or cancer. who was last to smack your butt?   probably jason, but there's potential that chelsea may have. what's a book you've read that changed your life?   it didn't change my life, but it heightened my pacifism.  "johnny got his gun" by dalton trumbo. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?   it would be borderline traumatizing, but not necessarily in a bad way?  does that make sense?  like, i want to kiss him, holy shit i do, but it would absolutely break me down if i did. have you met the last person you kissed’s parents?   yes.  a truly lovely couple with an almost fairytale history...  i love and miss them so much. do you like someone?   i way more than "like" him did the last person who hurt you ever apologize?   she hasn't yet.  knowing her, she won't. are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend?   i mean we don't like hang out and such, but yeah, i'd call him a friend. are you anything like your siblings?   not at all. have you ever lived with a significant other?   i have.  we lived in an apartment with another couple, our friends.  it went terribly. have you ever seen an emu in real life, whether in captivity or the wild?   i fucking read that as "emo" omg.  okay anyway yes i have, in a bird sanctuary. did you pierce your ears yourself or have it done by a professional?   i got mine done by a professional.  i'm very serious about piercings and want to ensure mine are done with utmost care. do you own a lot of cookbooks?   too many. do you stay in touch with many people from high school or college?   i wouldn't say "many," no. is there a university in your town or city?   nope. have you ever passed gas in front of your significant other?   in the past, yeah. do you have any big regrets in your life?   i don't know if i still regret the whole sexting incident for the sheer fact i do believe it taught me how to love properly.  i know what not to do.  i do, however, immensely regret letting my depression fester to the point it deterred jason away from me.  i... don't feel like i actually "let" this happen, i fucking fought, but sometimes i do. do you live on a street, avenue, road etc.?   road do you listen to guns n roses?   oh fuck yes. have you ever been a bridesmaid?   i was the one fat one.  i could've looked beautiful in that dress. are you friends with all of your exes?   if you count aaron, we're friends on facebook, but we don't talk.  if you consider juan as an ex, we're also facebook friends and we talk like once a month.  jason, he's not my friend and has me blocked on social media. what would you do if the person you have feelings for showed up at your door?   open the door and hug the shit out of him. when you are upset, what works best to calm you down?   shit, honestly, xanax when i was still on it.  jason used to be the number one thing to calm me.  now, uhh... i guess deep breathing. have you ever gone camping?   i have not. do you think the last person you kissed, has kissed anyone else since the last time they kissed you?   they've been together since may of 2016, i think, sooo... i'm pretty sure. have you ever slept with a member of the opposite sex without having sex?   yep. how would you feel if your significant other had tattoos?   depends on the tattoo??  generally, i find tattoos to be amazing and are great artistic expression, but my boyfriend had something questionable, i wouldn't be happy. what would you say if someone asked you to get high right now?   depends on what it would be, honestly.  i almost feel like i'd try a little bit with how fucking stressed i am. when’s the next time you will consume alcohol?   on my birthday, probably. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?   i... don't know. did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?   for the first time in what... months, i didn't. could you do a long distance relationship?   me, personally?  i don't think i could.  i need to be able to actually see you.  when i love somebody, i crave physical contact too, but that doesn't necessarily mean sex.  i'd like to hold your hand, cuddle, etc.  now if we were already in a relationship and for some reason i had to go away, sure, i could do it. do you like your body?   NO.  i'm overweight, stretch marks are ugly, i think my eyes are too small... do you pour the cereal before the milk or vice versa?   i pour cereal first. did anyone see your last kiss?   idk. do and your best friend(s) act the same, or are very different from each other?   we are incredibly different, but do have similarities. what’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?   i actually don't know how old juan is exactly...  i'd guess he's like 26-27. did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss?   i don't think i ever did to kiss j. have you ever been told you were hot by a complete stranger?   yes.  awkward. who are 3 girls you trust most?   mom, colleen, and uhh... i'm not sure who's in third place. are your parents good examples?   yes and no. are you afraid of needles?   nah. would you enjoy a night of playing video games?   omg yeah. :')  i miss playing video games so much.  i especially miss playing them with company. how much does physical attractiveness mean to you in a partner?   if you read about this in a past journal, i'm still not entirely sure.  i always thought it didn't matter whatsoever, but i'm starting to believe that it actually does matter, but only a veeeery little bit. would you consider donating your body to science after you die?   sure. do you like soccer?   ugh, NO.  i did it as a kid and it sucked. is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other?   absolutely not.  if you're not certain about how much you'll love that person in the long run, don't get married. do you have a problem with racist jokes?   yes, i do. have you ever called your friend a slut?   playfully, yeah.  i know a lot of people really don't like this word, but it's almost like a term of endearment between colleen, chelsea, and i, lmao. have you ever gone on a blind date?   no, and i never would. have you ever lied about the number of sexual partners you’ve had?   i have not. on a first date do you pay or do they?   okay, call me old-fashioned, but i think the guy should pay for at least the first date. do you only date people who have jobs or are full-time students?   no!  i mean it's preferred to see you're doing something to ensure yourself a future, but not all people are so fortunate.  would i date someone capable of working a job yet not working (and they're not in school), i'm not sure.  i don't want to date someone that clearly doesn't want to do anything with his life. should evolution be taught in schools?   only.  as.  an.  elective.  it's a theory and isn't and can't be 100% proven.  it's so funny how people get pissy when people shove religion down their throat, yet evolution is okay to shove down one's throat??? is a girl who’s slept with 100 guys a bad person?   she's not a "bad person," but i'd call that a slut, yeah. should a child caught masturbating be punished?   UHHHHH.  i sure as HELL hope a CHILD isn't masturbating, jesus christ!!!  i'd fucking shriek if i saw my child doing that and yes, (s)he'd probably have something taken away or have time-out IF they knew it was bad.  now if i just saw my child doing it and they didn't realize it was immoral, we'd have a loooong talk.  only your significant other ought to touch you like that, i'm not sorry.  and this isn't necessarily a religious thing, it's just... wrong.  some things are common sense imo. when’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong?   uhhh.  probably the last time i downloaded a new song, but i haven't done that in a while... so i'm not sure. did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?   he did, but i honestly doubt the sincerity. how many kids do you want to have?   just one if the whole process of creating him/her is unbearable.  two is preferred.  three if i find motherhood to be decent and pregnancy/childbirth is okay. do you eat breakfast daily?   i do. what movie do you really want to see?   i've wanted to see "johnny got his gun" for years, but i know i'm going to break down and sob watching it. do you drink your cereal milk?   i don't. cds, radio, or phone for music in the car?   i always use my ipod window or aisle (plane seats)?   window, def. prankster or not?   i'm not one for pranks. tattoos or piercings?   oh no, i love both!!  but... i guess i like tats more. concert or theme park?   take me to a heavy metal concert, babe. can you touch your tongue to your nose?   i can't. do you believe in aliens?   i do not. place that makes me most happy?   the zoo favorite fictional character?   OH GOD.  too broad a spectrum!! dream wedding?   i would be ecstatic if i could afford to rent out a gothic mansion or something likewise for my wedding.  i want a ball gown dress with a sweetheart bust and a cathedral train.  probably white or ivory.  i want to have it in autumn or winter.  yes.  i have planned a lot about something that won't happen, lmao. would you rather be naked or wear clothes?   wear clothes, definitely.  i feel very vulnerable when i'm naked. are you a money saver or spender?   i wouldn't really know, as i've never had a steady income.  whenever i've gotten like birthday money and such, i've spent it, though. who's your male x female otp?   honestly, i don't really have one. who's your male x male otp?   RHETT X LINK JESUS CRUST who's your female x female otp?   chloe x max from "life is strange" what was the last flavor of ice-cream you had?   vanilla do you think you could ever become a vegan?   no.  i personally enjoy animal products too much. are you one of those people who is constantly glued to their phones?   no. do you drink as much water as you should?   i literally drink no water unless i am practically dehydrated. have you ever gone to any ridiculous extremes to lose (or gain) weight?   no.  but i've recently decided to, at least slightly, starve myself. do you use hairspray on your hair once you’ve styled it?   i don't style it. does anyone in your immediate family have any habits that worry you at all?   i mean, dad's smoking, yeah. what do you do when you’re drained of energy but are unable to go to sleep at the time (because you have other things to do)?   usually, i'll just keep trying to sleep.  if it's really bad, i'll just get up and get back on the laptop. do you enjoy helping people move or do you not like it?   does anyone actually enjoy it?  i mean i don't mind helping at all, no, but i don't enjoy it. have you ever kissed someone that you thought you’d never kiss?   on the cheek, anyway.  i never liked juan like that. do you enjoy when guys hit on/flirt with you or does it normally make you uncomfortable or annoyed? when was the last time more than one guy was flirting with you at a time?   i only like being flirted with if i like you, but i'm still liable to get awkward.  the last time i had two men pursuing me at once was in high school, when both jason and juan were "after" me. do you hug people very often or are you not the hugging type? could you list the last ten people you hugged?   i become a hugging type through jason.  i love hugs now. can you name five things you enjoy looking at pictures of?   uhhh... lemme think.  1.) gore, so long it's artistic; 2.) meerkats; 3.) jellyfish; 4.) caves; and, most importantly, 5.) jason what genre of music do you listen to the most?   heavy metal do people come to you for advice?   no, and they shouldn't. when’s the last time you smiled?   within the last hour, i think.  i'm listening to pewdiepie play "life is strange."  i really enjoy his playthroughs from that time, when his humor was much more... i don't know.  i just liked it then better.  anyway, he just said something funny, so i smiled. what’s the background on your computer?   on my laptop that's currently dead, it's trico and the boy from "the last guardian" do you have days where you just want to listen to sad songs?   usually when i'm depressed as shit, yup. where do you go when you need to get away?   usually, colleen's do you think you will/did you cry at your graduation?   i teared up eeeever so slightly. would you ever get an eyebrow piercing?   naaah.  i don't get my eyebrows waxed/plucked enough, and for me personally, i don't like eyebrow piercings over relatively thick eyebrows, so. have you ever been to mexico?   no.  i have no desire to go. has a book ever made you cry?   multiple. is the person you have feelings for at least a bit cute?   he's very cute.  especially when he dances like a fool. your ex says “i’m sorry”, what do you say?   "prove it." are you a bitch?   i know good and well i can be, but in general, i honestly don't think i am... do you wear a belt with every pair of jeans?   not since high school.  back then, i had a thing for studded belts. have you ever deleted facebook friends for a significant other?   no, and i wouldn't. what accent do you think is the most attractive?   british do you have high standards?   frankly, i do.  because i don't settle for less. have you ever watched fight videos for amusement?   ugh, no.  i don't see the point.  i found it very surprising that jason actually enjoyed wrestling, and he'd watch it i think once a week, and i always had to tone it out. whose wall did you post on last?   i'm not sure, but i'm certain it was a happy birthday post. do you own a snuggie?   ha ha yeah. would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon?   i'm getting what will probably be my biggest tattoo on my birthday, coming up soon. is there a place you’d rather live right now?   not in this area of nc. do you consider yourself a sensitive person?   very. what do you think is the best smell in the world?   lilac.  i used to love riding my bike in the spring or summer because there were trees that would have lilac blossoms just down the road...  i would always take in such a huge whiff. do you know anyone personally who is colorblind?   yes.  jason's older brother jonathan is red-blue colorblind, i believe. have you ever considered writing a novel?   many a time.