#Steve is literally not okay at any point in time he's the worst adjusted bastard this century

[lovelyirony]

omg the marina & the diamonds prompt list ! eye know you said pairing but can i get “Get what I want ‘cause I ask for it/not because I’m really that deserving of it” -Primadonna with Steve and whomever you want or solo? 👀 thanks, legend!

Jess you know i’ll do literally Whatever You Want 

Steve is Fine. Of course he is. That’s how people are. All the time. Fine. 

Except everything is gone. He keeps looking for things that aren’t there. He broke an egg beater. (If it wasn’t run by electricity, he probably just would’ve over-whipped his eggs.)  

He keeps picking up shirts that look like his size and then he looks at himself in the mirror and it’s wrong. Too small. Too big. Too... 

He doesn’t want to admit he has a problem. Because he doesn’t. Tons of men from the Great War came home and screamed in their sleep. That’s just what war does. He’ll get over it. 

He doesn’t know why they keep calling it World War I. Not until he realizes that his war was the second one. 

He looks at photographs that seem incredibly old. His fingers trace faces delicately. He knows that the photos are old. But they are not. He remembers wanting his picture taken with his Ma, remembers that it was too expensive and unnecessary. 

And now...he’s like a man with everything. 

“Let’s hear it for Captain America!” 

He can hear the ghost of that ringing in his ears. He wasn’t looking at Bucky at the time, too focused on Peggy and winning and finally doing something. 

There’s no time. Time runs out. Or he has all the time in the world. 

Depends on if he’s optimistic about being frozen solid for seventy-odd years. 

People pay for things for him. He gets free hot dogs. He doesn’t exactly mind it, but he doesn’t need four. So he gives the extra to the men with the signs on the streets, and feels guilty for a brief moment that he remembers signs like these from before. 

Steve is Fairly Sure he doesn’t deserve a lot of what he has. 

He gets his own place at Stark Tower. Avengers Tower? He’s not sure if it’s renamed. Tony left up the “A” and nothing else. 

He has a nice mattress. He doesn’t sleep on it. Carpet’s soft enough as it is. The AI (which holy fuck) asks if he would like any physician or therapy. It would benefit him, so the story goes. 

“I’m fine,” Steve says. “Just not used to modern mattresses, right?” 

Right? 

Jarvis doesn’t call him out on it. 

He doesn’t tell the team he’s getting about three hours of sleep. Captain America doesn’t need sleep. All he needs is justice, truth, and the American Way, whatever the fuck that means. 

(But Steve Rogers? God, he needs sleep so badly.) 

It’s not until he’s sitting at the kitchen table at five in the morning that Tony comes in. 

Tony looks terrible, no beating around the bush. He has deep purple ringing his eyes, his hair is stuck up in every direction from frustration, and he sees Steve. 

“You too?” 

“Depends on what it is,” Steve says carefully. “You already awake or up early?” 

“Yes.” 

Steve snorts and takes a bite from his yogurt. 

“You on your daily do-good run?” Tony asks. 

“No. Don’t go this late.” 

“Hardy har har,” Tony responds. “I know it’s bullshit, Steve.” 

“Which part?” 

“Everything,” Tony says. “You’re getting used to a brand new environment and what, you don’t lash out? You keep saying ‘golly’ which I know has to grate on your nerves. You’re performing for expectation.” 

Hit it right on the nose. Steve tenses. 

“And?” 

“Take it from someone who was trained to do that since they were three, it doesn’t go as well as you think it should,” Tony says. “So, how much sleep have you lost?” 

“I got an hour and a half, if that counts,” Steve offers. 

“Because this is me, I am not sad for you,” Tony says. “Can I ask how you are?” 

“Fine.” 

Tony smiles to himself. 

“How many times have you said fine and not meant it? I’ve said probably a million times, without exaggeration.” 

“In this time? Probably over a thousand,” Steve says. “You...get it?” 

“No one comes back from war okay,” Tony says. “Especially not you. You got held up on a pedestal and no one ever took you off. Including yourself. You think that Captain America is a better than Steve Rogers ever could be.” 

“And you know this how?” 

“Well you don’t see me stop improving on Iron Man suits, now do you?” Tony asks, a bitter smile on his face. “But enough moping, let’s do something Steve.” 

Tony and Steve. 

Not Captain America. 

Tony makes Steve bake cookies with him without a recipe. 

“I wanna see how quickly we can fuck it up.” 

(Answer: in five minutes.) 

Steve actually goes and sees a therapist. 

He finds out that he has a lot of bad coping mechanisms, including sleeping on a carpet. 

“I don’t care that it’s a billionaire’s carpet, it still should suck,” Bill says. Bill is a nice therapist. He got Steve to try creamer in his coffee. 

So Steve goes mattress shopping with Tony, who demands luxury and also gets Steve a stiffer mattress that he has the best sleep of his life on. 

Steve is the one who gets Tony out of a lab-haze by making his own bar and naming drinks the worst thing in the world. 

“Why is this one called “Hurricane But Green?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Because I wanted green food coloring,” Steve answers. “Now drink it and tell me if it tastes like shit.” 

Tony orders another. 

They both tease each other, and the teamwork generally gets better. 

Steve starts getting things that he likes, and he doesn’t feel guilty for it. 

The first thing he buys is a set of charcoals. 

And he starts to do a portrait of his family. All of them. 

[riotwritesthings]

35. I hate trying to put my desire into words when my body knows exactly what to say. Come home. (You can’t start a fire without a spark.) with Winteriron, please and thank you❤❤ Happy Birthday!

EEEEE okay I hope you like this I’m sorry it took so long! (Also thank you!! 😘 😘)

WinterIron, T, 2.5k, humor, pining, denial | AO3

-

I hate trying to put my desire into words when my body knows exactly what to say. Come home. (You can’t start a fire without a spark.)

“Okay, now reattach the first two wires, and you should be good,” Tony says, relaxing back into the couch and adjusting his blankets. “Emphasis on ‘should be’, because I can’t actually see what you’re doing at all, so I have to just assume you’ve followed my instructions perfectly.”

“Eh, close enough,” Bucky says, and then laughs when Tony makes a concerned squawking noise. The connection is grainy, but it’s clear enough for Tony to picture the way his eyes shine with it. “It’ll last ‘til I get back an’ you can actually fix me up.”

“I do not find that reassuring,” Tony says and focuses harder on the boring emails pulled up on holoscreens in front of him. He does not focus on the warmth spreading in his chest, nope, not even a little. “Just know that if you come back carrying your arm again, I am going to beat you with it.”

“I’ll tell Steve you’re picking on me,” Bucky says with a dismissive huff, but Tony would swear he can hear the smile in Bucky’s voice, the way it curves up just the corners of his lips. “He’ll give you his ‘can’t we all just get along’ face.”

“God no,” Tony says with a snort, throat tight with something that’s probably horror. Probably. “Anything but that face, I’ll beat Steve with your detached arm too, if I have to.”

“I want out of this family,” Bucky whines, and it’s not hard to imagine the way his face probably scrunches up as he says it.

Tony startles himself with the force of his laugh. “Oh, it is too late for that frosty. I’m pretty sure we’re all locked in for life at this point.”

Bucky makes a teasing, thoughtful noise, broken by a hiss of static, because he’s underground, on the other side of the world, so incredibly far away. Not that Tony has been thinking about that constantly or anything.

“Well, at least-“ Tony doesn’t get to find out at least what, because Bucky cuts off and Tony’s heart lurches for a second when he thinks the connection has dropped. But no, there’s Steve’s voice in the background of the call, and then Bucky says “Yeah, Tony got me all fixed up.”

“I make no promises as to the accuracy of that statement,” Tony points out, raising his voice in that hopes that Steve will hear him, “For all I know he somehow turned his arm into a bomb.”

“That would be cool,” Bucky says cheerfully, and Tony laughs. He can hear Steve’s voice again, too muffled to make out the words, and then Bucky says “Gotta get back to it. Anythin’ else before I go doll?”

“Yeah,” Tony says and then freezes. There’s something caught in his chest but he can’t find the words, can’t force them out, can’t breathe around the sudden lump in his throat. “Don’t die,” he finally spits out and it’s not quite right, but fuck it, it’s close enough.

Bucky just laughs again and says “Doin’ my best, dollface.”

The line goes dead and Tony is all alone with only this stupid cast on his leg for company. Because despite his insistence that he could totally alter one of the suits enough to fit the cast inside, it would only take a couple hours max, the rest of the team had insisted he stay behind. Literally all of them had insisted, the bunch of betrayers.

So Tony is stuck here, in the big empty tower, laid up alone on the oversized couch in the communal living room while his family is off fighting on the other side of the world and okay fine, he’s pouting about it.

There’s also this weird feeling in Tony’s chest, and it’s like a set up to a joke, right? Because when doesn’t Tony have a weird feeling in his chest, except this one is new. Just the slightest catch sometimes when he breathes, like there’s something bright and warm and sharp bouncing around in his poor damaged rib cage. Something new, strange and terrifyingly familiar.

“Thousand dollars says he fucks up his arm,” Tony tells the empty room. The empty room says nothing back, but Tony is pretty sure that’s the pointed silence of JARVIS judging him.

-

“So, it’s making this weird grinding noise,” Bucky says, instead of anything like a normal human greeting, and Tony seriously considers just hanging up the phone.

He doesn’t, because maybe he’s not actually considering it. “It’s probably because you used your fingers to tighten a very important bolt, instead of an actual wrench,” he says instead and carefully shifts his foot a little where it’s propped up on a step.

“Again,” Bucky says with great patience and an amazing amount of amusement for someone whose arm is supposedly making a weird grinding sound, “Not everyone carries tool sets with them everywhere they go.”

“I still don’t understand those words,” Tony says flatly, and then grins proudly at the ceiling when Bucky snorts with laughter. “That’s why you should have brought me with you!”

“Or I could’a just stolen your tool kit,” Bucky says and laughs again when Tony gasps in loud offense. “Why’re you echoin’?” Bucky asks abruptly, “you in the stairway?”

“No,” Tony says slowly, even though he definitely is, and there’s nowhere else in the tower that echoes quite like the stairways.

“Tony,” Bucky says back, just as slowly, “tell me you weren’t tryin’ to go down the stairs on your crutches.”

“Why would I do that?” Tony scoffs and winces when he shifts wrong. “There are literally elevators everywhere, why would I ever need to take the stairs?”

“So you’re not laying on the landing between the communal floor and the gym?” Bucky asks pointedly, the bastard.

“I am not,” Tony lies smoothly and looks around for hidden cameras. Other than his cameras, obviously.

“We shouldn’t have left you alone,” Bucky says with a heavy sigh. Tony is pretty sure he can hear Natasha demanding to know what’s he’s done now, and sure enough the next thing Bucky says is “Nat wants to know why you fell down the stairs.”

“I did not fall down the stairs,” Tony defends with another huff and lifts his foot to try propping it on the handrail instead, because it’s still kind of throbbing. “I am simply taking a break on the landing, after... maybe rolling down the last couple of steps, just a little bit.”

Bucky makes a sound that’s caught somewhere between a laugh and a sigh and says “Next time we’re gettin’ you a babysitter.”

“I am an adult!” Tony insists and oh, he can just imagine the look on Bucky’s face, equal parts amused and horrified. “I am an adult man, and I am hanging up on you now.”

“Don’t hang up!” Bucky protests with a sputtering laugh, “My arm is still making weird noises! Don’t be so heartless, doll.”

“Wait, does it hurt?” Tony asks, because if so he is going to feel terrible for just laying on the ground giving Bucky shit. Even if he’s not sure how he’d be able to help right now, and he’s not actually sure how he’s going to get off the ground. Worst case scenario JARVIS will send Happy to come shamefully scoop him up.

“Nah, but it’s annoyin’ the shit outta everyone else,” Bucky says with an audible smirk, and then adds “Sam keeps offerin’ to rip it off for me.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, that’s what you all get for leaving the mechanic behind. Find a wrench and suck it up. Or just let Sam do what he’s gotta do,” Tony says with a shrug, and grins when he hears Bucky completely fail to fight down a laugh.

“Well that’s jus’ hurtful, darlin. I’ll find a wrench, don’t let the mean ol’ bird boy rip my limbs off,” Bucky says, a smothered grin still obvious in his voice.

Tony feels suddenly, terribly alone in the echoing stairwell with only his throbbing leg trapped in a cast and this weird, warm feeling bouncing around in his chest again. “When are you going be done with his stupid mission you love more than me, anyways?” Tony blurts before he can stop himself, before he can swallow it back down and deny, deny, deny. Still, it could have been way worse.

Bucky just laughs again, which is probably for the best. “We should be back tomorrow, day after at the latest,” he says, “try not to break yourself any worse until then.”

“I resent that,” Tony says with a sniff, and forces down all the other unknown words trying to build in his chest, trying to claw their way out. Maybe he has a fever, because his entire body feels warm, like the thing in his chest is spreading.

“I know ya do,” Bucky says, all amused and fond, then adds “lemme know when you make it out of the stairwell.”

“I told you, I’m not stuck,” Tony insists, but the line has already gone dead. It’s probably for the best, who knows what other words will come spilling their way out of him at this point.

-

Tony is half asleep in bed when a thought occurs to him, and he rolls towards the nightstand with one hand flailing for his phone. ‘No longer living on the stairs’ he texts to Bucky, ‘Please cancel rescue party.’

He’s not actually expecting a response to his stupid texts, what with the super important mission that he wasn’t invited on, but he hasn’t even set his phone back down before it’s vibrating in his hand. ‘So impressive. It would be more impressive if JARVIS hadn’t told me Happy had to come save you.’

‘Stop texting with my AI, you weirdo’ Tony sends, and then falls asleep with his phone in his hand.

He dreams that he’s alone in his big empty tower, like he used to be all the time and maybe it’s not so much a dream as a memory. But it won’t last forever, there’s something almost like static electricity in the air, like a building tension. Tony can feel it thrumming in his chest as he walks the empty halls of his dreams, spreading red hot through all his limbs, spilling liquid gold from between his lips.

Tony wakes up slowly, an empty ache in his chest that he knows, that he’s terrified to put a name to. His phone is still in his hand, battery almost dead, and apparently he’d managed to send a couple more texts as he fell asleep.

‘Pretty sure you’re conspiring against me. I’m onto you.’

‘JARVIS I expect this from, but you?!”

‘Just hurry up and come home.’

Tony hasn’t sleep-texted in years, since college when he spent most of his time sleep deprived, hopped up on espresso, and was known to text Rhodey long, complicated equations while in a state of half-unconsciousness. But apparently Tony’s stupid thumbs have betrayed him, begging Bucky to come home like Tony misses him, like Tony needs him around and oh god Tony doesn’t know that he’s ever meant anything so much in his life.

He hates being left behind, hates that all his friends are out there without him even though he knows they’ll be fine. He hates feeling useless and more than anything Tony hates that he can feel the absence of Bucky in the tower like an open wound in his life, that his carefully built denial is falling apart around him.

Tony is still laying in bed, trying to decide if the buzzing in his ears is panic or excitement, when his phone vibrates with a reply from Bucky. ‘On our way back. See you soon doll.’

That thing in Tony’s chest is growing out of control, taking up his entire body, sharp, bright, about to catch flame.

-

Tony would like to say that he’s not waiting out on the roof when the quinjet lands like a desperate, lovesick fool, but he absolutely is.

He’s leaning heavily on his crutches, squinting up into the rush of wind, feeling like he’s in that exact moment before the flare of a spark becomes a blinding explosion. The split second between falling and flying. Like he’s at a breaking point.

The jet has barely touched down, engines still going, and already Tony can hear the lectures he’s going to get from Bucky. He shouldn’t be out here on his crutches, in his pajamas no less, a million other things that Tony should find super obnoxious but definitely doesn’t.

He’s looking forward to it, because he’s missed Bucky’s ridiculous hovering, and his dry, dark sense of humor, and just... all of it, fuck Tony has missed him.

Bucky is the first one out, trying to look disapproving as his eyes fix on Tony but there’s clearly a wide smile trying to break free across his face. He opens his mouth, starts to say something that might be a greeting or an admonishment or even the beginning of a lecture, but Tony doesn’t hear it.

Tony can’t actually hear anything past the rush of blood in his ears, the way it feels like he’s touched a live wire, like his entire body is burning. Tony isn’t sure what his face is doing, but Bucky’s eyes go wide and Tony has barely made it a single hobbling step before Bucky is right there, right in front of him, warm and real and looking about as flushed as Tony feels.

Bucky freezes there, inches away, like he’s hesitating, but Tony is so far past that. He throws himself forward, abandoning his crutches in favor of wrapping his arms around Bucky’s shoulders, trusting Bucky to catch him. Sure enough Bucky’s right arm is instantly around his waist, pulling him in closer, and Tony isn’t sure which of them is shaking slightly. Possibly both.

Tony is only vaguely aware of people moving around them, someone nearly tripping over his abandoned crutches, soft chuckles and he’s pretty sure someone even whistles. Tony does not care at all, just presses his face into the curve of Bucky’s throat and breathes him in, blocks out everything that’s not the

“Hi,” Bucky finally says against the top of Tony’s head, voice quiet and warm as his fingers tap against Tony’s side. “‘M home.”

“About fucking time,” Tony grumbles, face still smashed into Bucky’s neck, and then after a moment demands “Where’s your other arm?”

“I left it on the jet, didn’t want you to hit me with it,” Bucky says easily, like that’s actually his biggest concern, and Tony laughs again.

“Smart,” Tony says and then takes a shuddering breath. His chest is warm and full, nearly bursting with all those bright happy feelings, and when Bucky’s arm tightens around him Tony is surprised it doesn’t all come spilling out of him, catching everything around them on fire.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Imagine JARVIS never stops hacking into SHIELD files after Avengers first movie (Obie taught him a lesson and he wanted to protect Sir after the nuke was sent out) and of course after a while discovers Hydra, the files of the Winter Soldier and of course the mission report of December 16, 1991. Tony has time to come to terms with the fact, therefore searches for Bucky, destroying Hydra on the way, gets rid of the mind control (BARF) and later they fall in love.

prompts, winteriron, tony stark, bucky barnes, tony x bucky,February,2014

“Wakeup, Daddy’s home.” The lights in the workshop flickered to life,but it seemed empty without DUM-E and U coming to greet him.

“Goodevening, sir,” JARVIS said. “And may I say what a relief it is tohave you home. Again.”

“Thanks,Jay,” Tony said. He dropped into the workstation chair and rubbedabsently at his chest. It was strange, not to have the arc reactoranymore. Helen -- you could call your doctor by their given name oncethey’d literallyhadyour heart in their hands, right? -- Helen had done an amazing jobwith the reconstructive surgery.

“ShallI contact the usual suppliers to see about having the Malibu houserebuilt?” JARVIS asked.

Tonyconsidered it. It would take months to rebuild the place, while therepairs and upgrades to Stark Tower had been completed months ago.Bruce was already here; Tony might as well just move back to NewYork, finally get around to issuing invitations to the rest of theAvengers. “Not yet,” he said. “Arrange to have the bratsrecovered and I’ll drive out and bring ‘em back here.”

“Verygood, sir,” JARVIS said. “If you have no urgent business, I’veuncovered some information that you might wish to review.” Adisplay screen came to life and began spitting up windows ofinformation.

Tonyfrowned. “What am I looking at?”

“Whileyou were in recovery, sir, I took it upon myself to do some digging.Surmising that you would wish to know why SHIELD was not already incontrol of the Mandarin situation, I re-activated the backdoor codewe inserted into their mainframes.”

“Thesefiles are way older than that,” Tony said, flicking through them.“These go back decades.”

“Yes,sir,” JARVIS said delicately. “It appears that SHIELD may becompromised. I do urge you to particularly review the files that I’veflagged for your attention. And, sir... I’m sorry.”  

[mobile readers, ‘ware the read-more!]

March,2014

“Whatthe hell, Rogers,” Tony demanded, before he’d even pushed all theway through the hospital room door. Steve’s new guy, Wilson, boltedupright in the terrible visitor’s chair. Good reflexes. The instantWilson realized who Tony was, his eyes went big and round. Fast onthe uptake, too.

“You,I like you,” Tony said, clapping Wilson on the shoulder. “Come toNew York soon, we’ll get you some new wings.” He turned back tothe bed. Christ, but Cap was a mess. “I repeat, Rogers: what. Theactual. Hell.”

Stevecracked an eyelid -- the one that wasn’t surrounded by a mass ofbruises and stitched shut around the occipital bone. “Nice to seeyou too, Tony.”

“Youdon’t call, you don’t write,” Tony complained. “Bruce and I,we’re hurt, you didn’t invite us to the party.”

Stevetried to laugh and it turned into a weak cough. “C’mon, Tony, youknow I’m not gonna call the heavy hitters for the little stuff.”

“Thelittle stuff, like our purported leadership being riddled withHydra?” Tony challenged. “Or stuff like their number one assassinbeing your old right hand man?”

Thehumor fell off Steve’s face in a hurry. “You knew?”

“Onlyfor a couple of weeks,” Tony said. “JARVIS was vacationing inSHIELD’s systems and stumbled across some red flags. I tipped Furyoff that something was rotten and he asked me to keep it under my hatwhile he set up a sting. That bastard plays things so close to thechest that his own ribs can’t see the cards.”

“Youknew about Bucky,” Steve said, sounding even more breathless.

“Yeah,well, it took me a while to figure out what to do about that, soyou’ll have to excuse me for not texting you right away with myreview of the videofootage of him murdering my parents,”Tony snapped.

Stevewent even paler than he already was. “He-- Shit, Tony, I’m sorry.Zola told me Hydra had them killed, but I didn’t realize they’dused Bucky to do it.”

“Soit looks like we’re both guilty of holding back information,”Tony said. “Were you going to tell me?”

Steve’smouth tightened. “I’ve been a little busy, the last few days,”he said. “Hadn’t quite worked it all through yet.”

“Well,you’re you,”Tony said, more lightly than he felt. “I’m sure you’d havedecided to do what was right.” He glanced at Wilson, then lookedback at Steve. “Romanov says you’re planning to go after him.”

“Ofcourse I am,” Steve said, because of course he was. “Tony, it...it wasn’t him.You know that, right?”

Tonyhad to close his eyes. “Yeah,” he sighed. “If I’d had him infront of me right after I found out, I don’t know what I would’vedone, but... Once I calmed down and thought it through, I knew. Dadrecognizedhim,and he didn’t even--” Tony had to stop, to swallow around a tightthroat.

Stevelooked grim. “I’m sorry, Tony. I am.”

“Yeah,”Tony managed. “We’re going to make those assholes pay, though.”

“Damnright we will,” Steve agreed. “For your parents andforBucky. And undo whatever they put in his head.”

“Well,I’ve got some thoughts about that,” Tony said. “A littlesomething Bruce and I were working on together. You work on findingyour boy, and I’ll see what we can do about bringing him back.”

July 2015

“It’scalled Binarily Augmented Retrofitted Framing,” Tony said. “BARFfor short, and don’t say it -- we’re working on a new acronym.”

Atthe other end of the table, flanked by Steve and Sam, Bucky Barnesstared at his hands where they were clasped in front of him. “Hydrahad a device, too,” he said, almost too quiet for Tony to hear. Heswallowed, licked his lips, swallowed again. “It... hurt.”

“Yeah,I’ve seen the specs,” Tony said. “They were literally burningout chunks of your brain. The initial concept for BARF was traumarecovery -- specifically, I was going to use it on myself,and I am very attached to alltheparts of my brain, so while it’s not exactly a skip through thepark, it’s not going to cause any physicaldamage.The way this works...” Tony considered ways to explain how thememory retrofit worked. None of the men at the other end of the tablewere lacking in intelligence, but they weren’t geniuses, either.“You ever been in an argument, and then hours later, thought of theperfect thing to say, too late to actually say it? And you keepreplaying that conversation over and over in your head, wishing you’dthought of it at the right moment, to the point where sometimes thatreplay is a stronger memory than the actual event? This is like that,but a hundred times stronger and faster. It can’t change what’shappened, obviously, but it can adjust your responsetoit, let you rebuild the lesson that you took away from it.”

“Andit will fix me?” Barnes said, intent. “It will take theselandmines out of my head?”

“Ibelieve so,” Tony said. “You’re a special case, so we won’tknow for certain until we give it a shot, but I feel pretty confidentabout it.”

Barnesworried at his lip with his teeth.

“Youdon’t have to do this,” Steve said, earnest and sorrowful.“You’ll have to witness the worst of the things they did to you.I can’t imagine how unpleasant that would be. We can find anotherway.”

“WhileI just while away my days in the Hulk Room?” Barnes said, not quitesharp. “Maybe it shouldbeunpleasant. Maybe that would be the smallest amount of justice forthe lives I took.”

“Buck,”Steve said. Tony could hear the crack in his voice from across theroom. “That wasn’t you. I keep telling you--”

“Itwas my hands,” Barnes said. He turned his hands over, as ifsearching for evidence of the blood they’d spilled. “I did it.Maybe I didn’t make that choice. But I did it anyway.” He lookedup at Tony, and it wasn’t until that moment Tony realized, with astart, that it was the first time Barnes had met Tony’s eyes sinceSteve had brought him to the Tower.

Barneshad pale blue eyes, almost the color of silver, and that gaze wassteady. “I’ll do it. Set it up.”

Theyset it up in the Hulk Room, in case Barnes was triggered. No one elsewould be able to see what he saw, Tony promised. Tony had done aprojection for the presentation at MIT, but that wasn’t a necessarycomponent of the system. And Tony figured, some things a man wantedto keep private.

Onthe other side of the glass, all Tony would be able to see werevitals and brainwave patterns, adrenaline levels and involuntarymuscle responses. Because Steve was hovering like a nervous newparent, Tony went through a session himself to show them what itlooked like from the outside, with Bruce at the monitoring station.

Hetook himself through the wormhole again, made himself stare up intothe black space and count the alien ships in their thousands. Iwill survive this,he told them, andwe willdefeatyou.

Tonylasted about five minutes in that memory, and came back to himselfpanting and dizzy, and outside the heavy glass of the Hulk Room,Bruce looked resigned and Sam looked worried and Steve looked grave.And Barnes...

Barneswas pale as a sheet, but his jaw was set and his eyes were locked onTony’s face. When their eyes met, he nodded, once grim.

Barneswas in the first memory for all of about ninety seconds when heripped off the goggles and fell to his knees, retching.

“Bucky!”Steve yelled, banging on the glass. “Bucky, what happened? Are youokay?”

“Ohgod,” Barnes gasped. “It’s so fuckin’ real...”He rocked back onto his heels and flapped a hand at Steve. “Stopthat, Rogers, you’re makin’ it worse.” He took a few deepbreaths, then looked straight at Tony, ignoring the way Steve waspractically pressed against the wall. “Let’s get this cleaned up,and get me a bucket or something for the next run.”

March 2016

Buckywas waiting for Tony outside the Hulk Room, just like always, leaningagainst the wall with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Mornin’dollface,” he said without looking up. “Ready to dance?”

Theflirting had started a couple of months ago. Progress was slow, withfrequent setbacks, and the situation needed a little humor from timeto time. Tony could only helplessly admire his determination anddrive.

“WhySergeant Barnes,” Tony gasped, firing up the monitoring equipmentone-handed, “are you getting fresh with me?”

Buckygave him a wide-eyed look. “I wouldn’t dare try it, not with youbein’ so far outta my league,” he said. “All I want’s a danceor two.”

“Yousay that now,” Tony said. “But I know what you’re reallyafter.” He tapped the last code in and the pneumatic seal on theHulk Room’s door released with a hiss.

Buckyflinched -- his work with the BARF hadn’t stopped him fromdeveloping new pavlovian responses, and that sound was guaranteed tomake him pale and queasy. It didn’t stop him, though. He scooped upthe goggles and headpiece and stepped through the door without anyhesitation.

Asthe door swung slowly shut, Bucky slipped on the headpiece, adjustingits position with the ease of long practice, and covered his prettyeyes with the VR goggles. “Maybe this time,” he said, so quietlythat Tony wasn’t sure he was hearing it right, “I’ll make youproud enough to say yes.”

May 2017

Buckyhad gone pale when they’d walked into the room with the scanner, somuch blood draining away from his face that his lips had taken on ablueish tint, and his hand had trembled in Tony’s grip. But hedidn’t hesitate, even for an instant. He climbed into the chair andvery deliberately curled his hands over the ends of the armrests, hiseyes locked on Tony as he licked his lips.

“Areyou certain you wish to remain?” T’challa asked. “If he is notfully recovered, you will be in great danger.”

Tonylooked away from Bucky only for an instant, to let T’challa see thedetermination in his eyes, and then shifted his gaze back to Bucky.“I’ve been putting my life in the hands of my tech for more thana decade,” he said firmly. “He’s clean. This is only aformality.”

T’challawanted to argue; Tony could feel it hanging in the air. Tony wasready to tell him where to stick it -- Steve hadn’t been permittedto attend this review, and it was only after some rather franticnegotiation that the U.N. had agreed to let Tony come along forBucky’s moral support.

Finally,T’challa bowed his head, accepting. “Very well,” he agreed, andturned to the Wakandan neuroscientist and the team of expertsassigned by the U.N. who would be verifying Bucky’s mental state.“You may begin.”

Acomputer technician approached and Bucky closed his eyes tightly.“Try to relax,” the neuroscientist said, a heavy Wakandan accentlending music to the syllables. “The process should be painless,but a thorough mapping will take some time.” She used a vividlyblue gel to attach several electrodes to Bucky’s face and neck, andspoke to the technician in Wakandan, which Tony didn’t speak, butbased on the way the screens on the computer bank flickered to lifeand began displaying graphs and numbers, they were going through astartup sequence.

“Mr.Barnes,” she said after a moment, “we will present a number ofimages to you, some still, some short scenes. The complete collectionof possible images is quite large; no one will know precisely whichimages you see, though there is an algorithm that ensures certaincategories are among those chosen. I -- and the analysts -- will seeonly your measured responses, as compared to the range of responsesfor that image already acquired. You need do nothing but allow theimages to appear; your subconscious response will be measured almostinstantaneously. Do you understand the procedure, Mr. Barnes?”

Buckynodded without opening his eyes.

“Doyou consent to the procedure?” she asked.

“It’swhy we came all this way,” he said, voice husky. “Might ‘swell.”

Thescientist looked tolerably amused, but pressed, “I must have aclear affirmative before we begin, Mr. Barnes.”

Buckyhuffed. “Yes,” he said. “I consent.”

“Thankyou.” She nodded at them both. “I will be watching from theobservation room,” she told them. “If you need to call a halt,you need only say so.” She left the room, very carefully closingthe door behind her.

Whenthe heavy bolts shot home, sealing them in, Bucky’s eyes flew open.“They didn’t strap me down,” he said.

“Noneed,” Tony said lightly. “You’re going to be fine.”

“I’mscared,” Bucky admitted in a whisper.

Tonytook Bucky’s hand in his own. “I’ll be right here the wholetime,” he promised.

Buckystarted to answer, but then frowned slightly, his eyes goingunfocused. It had begun.

Unableto see the images that Bucky was getting, his outward responses weresomewhat mystifying to Tony. His breathing and heart rate sped andslowed, his pupils dilated and contracted, muscles all over his bodytwitched. He smiled, he frowned, he grimaced. His skin flushed andthen faded. Once he choked out, “No!” Some time later, hewhispered, “Please,” but he sounded... happy?

“Arethey showing you porn in there?” Tony teased.

Buckycocked his head, eyes flicking around in sightless confusion. Itfaded again after a moment, and Tony kept his mouth shut after that.

Thecomplete process took hours,but Bucky never asked for a break, and perforce, neither did Tony. Bythe time it was done, Bucky was soaked with sweat and shaking like aleaf. The scanning equipment powered down, and Bucky’s eyes slowlyfocused on Tony. “They done?” he asked, his voice a hoarse rasp.

“Thinkso,” Tony said. “You okay?”

“Hell,no,” Bucky said. “That was... that was rough.”

“Yeah,”Tony agreed. “But you did great.”

“We’llsee, I guess.” Bucky didn’t look too confident.

Tonyglanced toward the door -- it would be just like those petty U.N.officials to draw out their deliberation just because they could,making Bucky sweat out of a sense of power. “Hey, after they cut usloose,” Tony said, trying for distraction, “how about dinner?Wakandan cuisine is really something, and it’s hard to come by ifyou’re not actually in Wakanda.”

“Youaskin’ for a date, gorgeous?” Bucky managed a wan smile.

“Well,if you don’t have a more pressing engagement,” Tony said, liftinghis eyebrows, “yes.”

Bucky’seyes went round. “Wait, really?”

Tonyheld out his hand, palm up, offering. Slowly, Bucky took it, and Tonyclosed his fingers around Bucky’s, smiling. “For the record,because I didn’t think you’d believe me until this was allsettled, I’ve been proud of you since the first time you said you’dtry it. And I’ve wanted to take you out for months.”

Thelight and wonder in Bucky’s eyes was worth all the heartache andwork it had taken to get to this moment, Tony thought. “I neverthought,” Bucky whispered, “never thought I’d--”

Thedoor opened to reveal T’challa, the doctor and the U.N. committeehead behind him. He met Tony’s eyes, then Bucky’s. Slow, like asleepy cat, he smiled.

~ @everyworldneedslove

[crystalelemental]

Atelier Rorona Plus Opinions

Rorona Plus was my introduction to the Atelier series, and my what an introduction it was.  Special thanks to @zoablog for bringing it up to me two or so years ago.  Without you talking about it, I would never have known to pick it up at GameStop on that fateful day when I started playing PS3 games on Pat’s system.  It holds a very special place in my heart as something that introduced me to a new series that is a ton of fun.  Whether through that bias or the fact that the Plus version is actually just better all-around, it's decidedly my favorite of the Arland games, and one of the most fun for me to play period.

To quickly run through the things I’ll be talking about for each game: characters, story, setting, alchemy system, battle system, other game mechanics, and any unsorted comments I may have to make about the game.  It should also be noted that I’ve only played the Plus versions of most of these games, so that’s what these opinions will be based off of.

CHARACTERS Rorona - Rorona is great as a protagonist.  Kind of an airhead, but a hard worker who is sweet and comical.  She's just great.  Especially with all the pie events.  Those are probably the funniest parts of the entire series.

Cordelia - Literal best girl.  Cordelia is infallible.  Okay, fine.  There are people who will hate her.  She's abrasive and pretty much just tsuntsun.  But I love her. She's really bad at acknowledging and being open and honest with her feelings, and that's a trait that is always endearing to me for...reasons.

Iksel - kinda meh?  He's fine, but nothing exceptional.  I really don't have much attachment to Iksel.  At all.

Sterk - Sterk is kinda fun.  He's a knight who takes his role very seriously.  He can be a bit of a dork, is enamored with the story-book portrayal of knights, and feels conflicted over his role in the game being to potentially shut down Rorona’s workshop, as it doesn’t feel like the true duty of a knight of the people. He's also really helpful, despite being the evaluator who might shut down your workshop, so points for that.  Too bad he charges so much money for the early game...

Esty - I like Esty a lot.  She's a fairly downplayed character, but for whatever reason, I like her more than a lot of characters.  Maybe it’s just my advancing age coupled with the fact I’m still alone.

Lionela - UGH.  Okay, I really don't like Lionela.  I think it's just her character type.  I'm generally fine with the shy introverts, but the puppets piss me off, and why are you in a performer role if you're so socially anxious?  This kind of thing always, always bugs me, for reasons that entirely unjustifiable.  “I just feel like a different person doing this.” NO!  How about a character who actually has the conflict even while performing and just struggles through it for the sake of their craft for once?!

Tantris - Behold, the worst one.  Tantris bugs the shit out of me.  His story arc has great potential, but I wind up caring more about his dad, Meredith, than about him.  His dad is a high-level politician trying to run the kingdom because their king won't do it, and threw himself into work to provide for his son when his wife died.  Meredith is super interesting, and Tantris honestly comes off as an ungrateful little bastard.  He runs off to do basically nothing with his life, comes back and is insistent that he’ll help out, and in his own ending just runs off again with Rorona in the establishment of a ship I am loathe to admit must exist somewhere.  He's like Ranun in Ayesha, only everyone isn't constantly telling him to stop being a driftless loser and get a job, and instead is like “Oh wow, look at this attractive loser.”

Gio - I love Gio.  Yes, he abandons his role as king and causes problems for Sterk, Esty, and Meredith pretty much constantly, but he's a fun character, and his reasons for leaving the kingdom in the hands of his subordinates makes some level of sense, all things considered.  I don't think the transition would be as smooth as he claims, but sure, whatever.

Astrid - The single most frustrating character in the entire series for me.  Astrid should be one of my all-time favorites.  Should.  Her history is that her master, the second alchemist for the kingdom, sucked at alchemy and couldn't produce a benefit for the kingdom.  So, her master was effectively rejected by the whole of the kingdom and led a miserable life, all because Gio, as king, had to remove something ineffective for his kingdom, and the people wouldn't accept someone who didn't directly benefit them.  So Astrid is a character who is entirely based in spite and contempt for the kingdom and its people, and left Rorona in charge because she couldn't bring herself to help those who made her master's life miserable.  She's abrasive and kind of awful, but there's a clear reason behind it all.  It should work fantastically.  It does not.   Mostly, this is because Astrid tends to step over several lines she shouldn't, and because she's actively cruel to characters who weren't related to what happened.  When she tears into Gio for his edicts, or into Tantris for being an asshole in the past, it's entirely justified and those are easily some of her best moments.  But then she acts malicious toward Cordelia and Lionela for no reason, and it often feels like she's cruel to others just because she wants to be.  Had it stuck to just being cruel to people who somewhat deserved it and playfully mean toward others, it would be one thing.  But she just comes across as such an unrelenting asshole that it's hard to like her.

Hom - Hom is barely a character, but I include them because I enjoy them.  I love the robotic-like characters.  Plus they learn to love through interactions with cats.  Adorable.

Pamela - There's a ghost girl you take back from a location called the Catacombs.  She has little impact other than being a late-game shop, but she's quirky and fun and I love her.

Tiffani - Tiffani’s the general store owner, and I don’t really know how to feel about her?  Generally, she’s okay, but the Drunken Tiffani trophies in both this game and Totori are...Not Good.  So I’m really not her biggest fan.

Hagel - This guy on the other hand!  He’s alright.  Nothing too special, but he can be entertaining, despite the constant gags about him being bald getting old real fast.

Meredith - I mentioned his entire history with Tantris, but I feel like he’s earned a separate mention as an all-around decent character.  He does questionable things, and is your hidden antagonist, but his motivations and intentions are understandable and he generally seems interesting.  Granted, his shadier dealings by having bandits test out bombs for him is really bad, but as an antagonist-type, I think that works out nicely to keep him on a level of understandable, but not a good person.

STORY Rorona is not a complex game.  At all.  The story is essentially that you play in a kingdom called Arland, where alchemy was once used to bring them to technological prosperity.  Not much is explained on how, but you play as Rorona, who I believe is the fourth in a line of alchemists for the kingdom, working under Astrid, who is just...useless.  Astrid never really did anything, so the workshop is about to be closed down.  She passes it off to Rorona, and thus you must now fulfill the royal orders to keep your workshop or Astrid will take you away from Arland with her because she helped your parents once, and that means you have to do everything she tells you for life.  That's...about the full extent of it. There's nothing too dramatic going on.  It's just a very simple and straight-forward story that's there to have a foundation without trying to do anything flashy.  Which I can absolutely respect.  It’s like I’ve said before: if you don’t know that you can do a good plot, maybe it’s best to just not have one.  And Rorona does just that.

SETTING Arland isn't particularly interesting, I feel.  Despite the history of being built up by alchemy, there's not a whole lot of digging into the history of the kingdom. That's an interesting point to explore, and nothing is ever done with it.  The locations you visit are also few and far between, with Rorona just walking to major areas and exploring within those.  It just makes the overworld map feel a lot smaller than every other game I've played.  The only interesting piece that could be explored is through Gio's decision to try stepping down as king and establishing the kingdom as a republic, which...is never explored.  Ever.  So what it all comes down to is a lot of interesting bits and pieces that are never once touched upon. They're mentioned and forgotten, and the location itself doesn't really stick out as a result, barring my excessive reaching for history through Atelier Meruru, which will be discussed when we get there. ALCHEMY SYSTEM The alchemy system is a ton of fun, and one of the most immediate draws for me.  Synthesizing items requires using items that you gather to create new items.  Sometimes, the synthesized items are then further synthesized into other items, and you can create chains of created items to pass along traits that you may want.  Traits can also be combined into stronger traits, and the game feels really dynamic as a result.

Applying traits is not free, however, as there's a Cost system that determines what can be added.  Certain ingredients will offer more Cost value, which means you can apply a greater quantity or quality of traits.  For instance, some of the best traits can cost as much as 40-50 Cost.  An ordinary ingredient my add 10, while a higher quality one may add 30.   Adjusting the cost through better ingredients and cost increasing traits is necessary to really craft the best items.

"Steve, don't you hate artificial resource collection?"  Yes, I do, but the key word is "artificial."  The entire game is based around this.  It's not something stupid that’s thrown in for no good reason like, say, Fire Emblem Fates, which will eat dozens of hours of time for resources that mean nothing but a slight improvement on weapons that you need because they made all other weapon tiers garbage now.  With Rorona, they based the system around resource collection, and made it simple.  You only need a few to make one item, and instead of requiring a specific item every time, they will often require a class of item, such as any plant type.  The type you use may impact the inherent properties of the item, but you can make it from anything in a category.  This allows for a lot of mix-and-matching, and the issue of needing a specific item is minimized effectively.  Where to gather items is also very clearly noted in each location, and the bigger difficulty is typically in getting the quality you want.   Traits can also be a problem, but because classes of items are often used, and traits are randomized across items, you can often find a way to synthesize items in a chain to transfer the traits you want.  The entire system comes together really nicely, and it makes things a lot more fun than you'd expect.

Lastly, there are development items that you decorate the Atelier with, and they give various bonuses for having them.  Happy Basket and Spring Cup will generate items, Secret Bag will let you store or retrieve items from the Container from anywhere, Travel Shoes let you travel on the map faster, etc.  They're really useful, especially for a huge boost in NG+.

BATTLE SYSTEM Combat is fast and fun.  You can improve your equipment, which is certainly important, and in this game can often be the only truly important piece that matters.  But you can also utilize healing and attack items to get through combat as needed.  Healing items can recover HP, MP, or remove status, and sometimes add buffs on top of it.  Attack items can deal all types of damage, but can also have secondary effects such as delaying turns or debuffing enemy stats.  The problem is, items are consumed.   They have a set number of uses, and once out, they are gone forever.   Later on, you can use Wholesale at shops to register these items and buy an infinite number over time, but early game, these items are hard to keep track of, and even later-game, spending all your money on attack items isn't as valuable as spending it all on forging better equipment. There are only a handful of bosses in the entire game that actively require a good Meteor or Absorb Gourd to get past, and they’re all at the end. Everything else is beatable just by acquiring the best weapons and armors with the best traits.  I feel this is something that's a bit lacking.  Combat is still tremendously fun, but I feel that a game that either requires or at least permits the frequent use of items is better in a game about synthesizing items to progress.

OTHER MECHANICS In Rorona Plus, there's a voucher system.  Your main missions are handed out by the kingdom itself, and when you complete tasks, you get vouchers to exchange at a shop Esty runs.  You can also gain more vouchers by completing requests with certain parameters obtained, which is your best farming method when you can Wholesale items that fit the bill and show up frequently.  Vouchers are god in this game.  Early-game, you get the Gnardi Ring, which buffs attack and defense to ridiculous levels and allows you to plow through the entire first year of the game with ease. Mid-game, you can exchange them for items that are helpful for a lot of the harder synthesis sub-quests, which turns into getting your vouchers back, and sometimes with a bonus.  And late-game, you get the Heroic Cape, which is an armor that is perfectly viable through even the post-game Overtime areas. Vouchers can and will carry you through the entire game.  It's...almost a problem?  On the one hand, it makes the game one of the least stressful to play, because there is always a quick and immediate out through the vouchers.  But on the other, it dramatically cuts back on how much you need to synthesize to succeed.

There's also Hom, who can gather or synthesize as you request.  Gathering is all Hom should be doing.  Synthesis is a fairly delicate process, I feel, and having Hom synthesize things can account for good quality or good traits, but not always both.  So don't let Hom synthesize items that you need made to very specific conditions.  Gathering is also generally more valuable, because you then spend less money on the shops, and have enough items to make what you need.  Post-game, they also gather Dragon Tusks, which are great items for your weapons, for making Ruby Prisms (which turn into some great accessories and items), and for selling for massive profit.  So yeah.  Only have Hom gather, unless you're really low on time and desperately need a specific item of any quality/trait composition.

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS I feel it's worth noting that the Arland trilogy as a whole has some... uncomfortable moments.  You know the kind.  The fan-service heavy moments that are just like...why did you feel the need to do this?   Rorona is pretty low on the problem scale, but there are occasions, usually Astrid-driven, that are just...unpleasant.  And me being the way I am, it definitely loses some points for that.  To a degree that Astrid's banter at the start of the game is what made me turn it on for 15 minutes, turn it off, and not start back up for another month.  I eventually did, and I'm very glad I did, but it's a little bit otaku-bait-y in this particular regard. CONCLUDING THOUGHTS Rorona Plus is going to be a game that holds a special place in my heart pretty much forever.  Being the starting point for any new series that I attach to, it's effectively wormed its way into a guaranteed replay at least once a year, just for funsies.  It's simple to play and incredibly fun, which more than makes up for being fairly bare-bones in terms of story or depth.  It's a game that's not trying to do anything spectacular.  It's just here to be fun and engaging, and it's rare to see a game that succeeds this strongly at that goal.

If you enjoyed this (for some reason), consider checking out the write-ups for the other games in the series as well!

Atelier Rorona Plus Atelier Totori Plus Atelier Meruru Plus Atelier Ayesha Plus Atelier Escha and Logy Plus Atelier Shallie Plus Atelier Sophie Atelier Firis