#Stereklyrics5

[midnightisquiet]

STEREK WEEK 2019: Day 2 - Lyrics & Quotes

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Santa Monica

*Slides in three days late with my first fic in 84 years*

For Sterek Week Day 2, Music & Lyrics. Inspired by Santa Monica by Everclear (one of my favorite bands ever). I've wanted to use this song for a Sterek fic for ages, and it was supposed to be mostly happy. This isn't really that, even though it is a happy ending, it ended up way angsty for such a short thing (I may eventually write that happier version, but who knows, really).

(I may have cried a little writing this, but I'm kinda a mess lately, so you probably won't.)

The previously muted noise of the party filters out at full volume into the still night air for a brief moment as the sliding door opens and shuts again, and Derek takes a deep breath to steady himself upon recognizing Stiles' heartbeat. He lets a lungful of Stiles' scent wash through him, and readjusts his arms where they're propped against the railing of the Stilinski's deck.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," Stiles says sincerely, settling into the space next to Derek, despite the fact that the entire deck is empty; there was a time, long enough ago that it seems practically unreal, when that would have pissed him off, but it's been ages since he's felt anything but comfort in Stiles' proximity.

"Looks like you did a pretty good job, then," Derek teases, just to hear Stiles' snort.

Stiles bumps their shoulders together, and then doesn't move away, and it's kind of torture, but Derek can never bring himself to break contact when Stiles offers it so easily. Just like he can't bring himself to tell him how much it means to him--how much Stiles means to him--and how much he craves both him and his touch. 

"Y'know, you have a habit of sneaking out of my parties, Der. If I were a less secure guy, I'd think you didn't think my accomplishments were worth celebrating," Stiles says, mostly sincerely, but Derek knows there's a thread of uncertainty underneath the joking and the bravado, even six years out of high school, Stiles occasionally forgets his confidence.

Derek leans into Stiles' shoulder more heavily, sliding over so their arms are touching, too. He debates telling him the truth--that celebrating another thing that's taking Stiles away from Beacon Hills, away from him, hurts enough that he needs to step away to keep himself grounded. He settles on a half-truth. "Just needed some air, you know I'm proud as hell of you, Stiles."

Derek hears Stiles exhale deeply, and then Derek's heart skips a beat as Stiles relaxes fully against Derek's side, his head resting on Derek's shoulder and his free arm wrapping around to fiddle with the sleeve of Derek's jacket. Derek lets himself pretend for a minute, that he gets to keep Stiles like this, and rests his cheek on the top of Stiles' head.

They're both quiet for a few long minutes, and when Stiles breaks the silence, the words squeeze around Derek's heart. 

"Um, Santa Monica, is like, really far away," Stiles begins, pulling away gently when he feels Derek stiffen, but he keeps his hand on Derek's wrist as he turns to look at him.

Derek nods, and as much as he'd like to ignore the topic, he turns to face Stiles, careful not to dislodge his hand. "Almost can't be farther." He adds from me, mentally, but he's pretty sure Stiles knows he's thinking it.

Stiles clears his throat, "Yeah. But I was thinking that that night be a good thing."

Before Derek can yank his arm away, Stiles has somehow managed to take Derek's hand in both of his. "Hey, hey, hear me out, okay? Just--"

Derek is frozen. Here feels as though his heart has stopped and his body has somehow stopped getting the giant flashing run run run messages that his brain is sending, because Stiles is about to tell him that he's glad to be getting away from him, and Derek's whole world is about to fall apart. Again.

Stiles is much closer, suddenly, right in front of Derek, their chests separated only by the space created by their clasped hands between them. "Breathe, Derek," Stiles says urgently but softly, and apparently that's what Derek's body needed to get back online, because he can breathe then, even if he still can't think.

"Der," Stiles asks, searching Derek's face as though checking that he's still there, "Come with me."

Derek feels the shock overtake his expression. Stiles' lips quirk ever so slightly upwards, and he continues, "Come with me, Derek. My place is right near the ocean, we can get away from here, leave all the bad stuff behind. We can spend our weekends swimming and counting palm trees, and starting over. Just you and me and the slightly West-er Coast. Say yes."

Derek is frozen for a whole new reason now, it's like he's been sleepwalking, and all of the sudden woken up to a world that's a few shades brighter. He can't do anything but stare at Stiles in wonder and smile.

At least, he thought he was smiling. He may have missed the mark, because Stiles is anxious and a little scared when he adds "Please, Der? I kinda need you to say something, because if you don't I think I might--"

"I need a new suitcase," Derek says, squeezing Stiles' hands and definitely smiling this time.

"A new suitc--" Stiles trails off questioningly before a bright grin blooms on his face, too. He inhales as though he's going to say something else, but it's as though all of Derek's inability to move the past few minutes has given him a new sense of urgency, because before he can speak, Derek is cradling his face in both hands and pressing their lips together.

Stiles doesn't hesitate to respond, going soft and pliant for Derek immediately, like this is something they've done a million times. The kiss is almost chaste, their lips meeting and parting unhurriedly for several long moments, but it's perfect, and when they pull away, they only part enough to be able to look at each other, each wearing matching looks of awe.

"So, that was a yes, right?" Stiles asks after they've been grinning at each other an indeterminate amount of time.

Derek laughs, and it catches him by surprise. "Yeah, Stiles," he says, running his thumb along Stiles' cheek, "Let's live beside the ocean together."

[halevetica]

I Never Existed

Stiles rolled out of Derek's bed, grabbing his underwear and pants in a hurry.

"I'll see you later?" Stiles asked, trying to keep the hopefulness out of his tone.

"Sure," Derek nodded, his eyes on a book in his lap.

"It's Theo and I's anniversary soon," Stiles said, pulling on his shirt.

Derek didn't respond.

"I'm thinking of breaking up with him," Stiles eyed Derek for any reaction. A hopeful glint in his eyes or a curve of his lips into a smile. But he didn't get either of those.

Derek remained emotionless as he spoke. "Not on my account I hope."

Stiles' tongue flicked across his lower lip before his teeth sunk into it. His eyes dropping in embarrassment.

"We've talked about this, Stiles," Derek huffed, his eyes still trained on his book.

"No, you talked, I listened," Stiles objected, his tone sharper than he intended.

"I know you always say you'd give him away for me, But I've never been the one for commitment. I'm gonna leave you either way if you stay with me. So go home, and tell him I never existed," Derek finally met Stiles' eyes. He hated seeing them sad, but he couldn't give Stiles what he wanted.

"But he-"Stiles started but Derek cut in.

"I don't wanna hear it if it isn't involved with me, cause your relationship is none of my business."

Stiles took in a deep breath before huffing it out, "If you don't have any kind of feelings for me then why am I here?" he'd been dying to ask that question since the second time they met up.

Derek rose his brows at Stiles, "For the sex."

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip again. It hurt to hear Derek talk like that. Yeah, the sex was great, but Stiles loved Derek. Had for a while. It took a couple drinks to get the guy talking but when he did, he was sweet and less guarded, and Stiles fell for him. But sober Derek was gruff, and distant and rejected Stiles over and over and yet he kept coming back. Just like with Theo. No matter how much they fought and how shitty Theo treated him, he kept going back. Why couldn't he find someone who wanted him no matter what?

Derek watched at Stiles walked out of his loft without another word. He wondered if that was the end of him and Stiles. A twisting in his stomach reminded him that it was a good thing if so. Getting attached was never part of the plan and yet here he was, dying to rush after Stiles and tell him to leave Theo, to never go back. To stay with him instead. However, bitter experience kept him in bed. Half of him hoping to never see Stiles again, the other half already missing his touch.

Stiles fought the tears in his eyes as he climbed into his jeep. What had just been a drunken one night stand to get over Theo after their first break up, had turned into a regular meeting. After the first night, Stiles had craved more of what Derek made him feel; alive and wanted. When Derek had made it clear that nothing else would ever develop, Stiles told himself it was for the best and when Theo came crawling back, begging for Stiles to give him another chance, he did. But he couldn't ever get Derek out of his head. It had taken a week for Stiles and Theo to start fighting again, and in a fit of rage, Stiles called Derek.

Derek didn't care that Stiles was still technically with Theo. He was willing to keep the secret if Stiles was, and it had been surprisingly easy for Stiles. So easy he'd been doing it for close to six months. Any time Stiles and Theo fought, Stiles would find himself seeking out Derek.

When Stiles started to hint at something more between him and Derek though, Derek got more distant. He reminded Stiles that it was strictly physical between them and it never failed to hurt, but Stiles had promised himself that he'd leave one or both of them before Theo and his one-year anniversary. He'd hoped that with the news that Stiles was leaving Theo, Derek would accept him with open arms. But Derek made it very clear that he was not an option for Stiles.

"I'm gonna leave you either way if you stay with me."

Derek's words replayed in Stiles' head, causing the tears to slip down his face. What was it about him that made him unlovable? Theo didn't love him; he wouldn't treat Stiles the way he did otherwise. Derek didn't love him. Lydia hadn't loved him. Malia hadn't loved him. He just wanted to know why.

-

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Stiles had walked out of Derek's apartment. Derek had expected to see him again, had hoped for it even. He reminded himself that it was for the best. Getting attached was what got him hurt in the past. Stiles was no different than Nick, or Andrew, or Braiden, or Jennifer or... He couldn't even think the last name. The one who truly hurt him. Took advantage of him in the worst way. Made him the truly jaded person he was.

Derek tossed back another shot, his eyes scanning for a potential one night stand to get his mind off Stiles. Erica, his best friend, had drug him out after hiding in his loft, in hopes of Stiles coming back.

A melodic laugh, caught his attention, making his heart leap in his chest.

"Stiles, don't look now, but there's a really hot guy at your nine o' clock eyeing you hard," Allison whispered loudly in Stiles' ear.

Stiles had broken up with Theo and cut Derek from his life. He was trying to concentrate more on himself and his friends. He was currently out celebrating Allison's birthday. It was the first time he'd been out in weeks.

Stiles swiveled his head to see who Allison could be talking about. His stomach churned and his heart flipped at the sight.

Allison frowned, noticing the way Stiles' face paled. "What's wrong?"

"I need some air," Stiles said, sliding from his chair then. He beelined for the exit, he couldn't do this. He couldn't break down now. He ignored the concerned calls of Allison, Scott and Isaac.

A gust of cool evening air washed over him as he stepped outside. He gripped at the wall to steady himself. He never imagined seeing Derek would elicit such a strong reaction. Of course, he'd not imagined seeing Derek after only a short period of time. Theo had been easier to get over despite the fact that Theo called him constantly, begging for one last chance. The lack of Derek's calls hurt Stiles more than the tears in Theo's eyes ever could.

"Stiles."

The familiar voice saying his name, made him stiffen. There's was no inflection. No hint as to what Derek was thinking or feeling.

Stiles decided to take a page from Derek's playbook and remain silent.

"It's been a while," Derek continued.

Stiles closed his eyes. He could practically feel Derek's hands running down his back. Feel the scratch of his beard on his neck.

"I didn't see Theo in there," Derek tried again, his voice slightly softer.

That caused something to snap in Stiles. He whirled around; his hands clenched in fists. "I thought I wasn't supposed to talk about him. Isn't my relationship none of your business?"

Derek's jaw clenched and Stiles saw the walls going up, but he couldn't give in to Derek again. He would never get over him otherwise.

"I just assumed you'd have come back after you left him," Derek's tone was sharp and his shoulders tense. He shouldn't have come after Stiles. This had been a mistake.

"You said you were gonna leave me either way, so why bother?" Stiles snapped. He'd never been so snappy with Derek. It felt good and wrong at the same time.

Derek dropped his head slightly. "You knew where I stood going into this."

Stiles felt tears prick behind his eyes. "And I thought I could handle that. I was wrong."

Derek's eyes met Stiles' again, his expression softer now and apologetic.

"So why are you out here? Why come talk to me?" Stiles snapped. He couldn't handle this. Seeing Derek; it hurt.

Derek opened his mouth to respond but realized he didn't have a reason. Or he did and he just wasn't man enough to admit it to himself much less Stiles. His mouth closed and he dropped his head once again.

"Right," Stiles nodded. Derek had hoped to sleep with him again. That was all Stiles was good for.

He stepped past Derek, to leave. He'd apologize to Allison later.

"Stiles, wait," Derek grabbed Stiles' arm pulling him back.

Stiles found himself chest to chest with Derek, their breaths tangling with how close they were.

Derek dove in then, pressing his lips to Stiles' in a hungry kiss.

Unable to help himself, Stiles melted into the familiar taste of Derek despite his brain screaming at him to stop. Their lips and tongue's slotting together effortlessly like they'd done this hundreds of times. They had. This made Stiles pull back finally, breaking the kiss abruptly.

Stiles turned to leave, but Derek's hand was still around his arm.

"Where are you going?" Derek had hoped for one more night. That's all he needed. Just to wean himself off.

"To pretend you never existed," Stiles sneered, before jerking out of Derek's grasp.

Derek's jaw clenched. Clearly those words had hurt Stiles. He regretted saying them now. He could go after him, but once again bitter experience kept him planted as Stiles climbed into his jeep and drove off.

- part 2 -

A low moan in Derek's ear, that closely resembled his name, made him bite down on the neck his face was buried into. A pleasured hiss told him it was enjoyable. His hands slid down the body hovering over him, his fingers digging into soft flesh as they went.

"Derek," Stiles whimpered, lifting himself off Derek's lap slightly before pressing back down slowly, dragging an agreeable sound from the other man's throat.

The pressure building in Derek's abdomen had him gripping harder at the man on his lap.

"Shit," Derek bolted up, his breaths heavy and his eyes struggling to adjust to the dim lighting.

Another dream. Derek dropped his head. He felt the wetness in the sheets. That was the second time this week and this was the third week of this.

Derek threw the covers back, glaring at his clock on the side table before padding off to the bathroom. It wasn't even seven a.m. Guess he was up for the day. He always had a hard time falling asleep after a dream like that.

It had felt so real, even after all this time. He'd memorized the way Stiles had felt and sounded so well he sometimes forgot that they were just dreams.

Derek stepped into the shower, letting the hot water wash away the disappointment from his body. He only wished it could wash away the disappointment inside too.

"He's not worth it, Derek," he told himself. He often found talking about it out loud to himself helped. "He wouldn't be good for you."

Only part of him believed that. Another part said that he was the one not good for Stiles. But then there was the tiniest sliver that said that maybe they were exactly what the other needed. He shoved that part down deep, pretending it didn't exist. It was easier not to think of it.

-

Stiles plopped down on the couch, grabbing the remote off the table on his way. He'd spent all day at work and then spent the evening having dinner with his dad. To say he was worn out was an understatement.

The station was understaffed as of late, so he had an extra work load and he just wanted to rest. So when someone knocked on his door, he couldn't help but let out a small groan. It was almost ten o'clock at night, who could possibly be at his door at this hour?

He didn't even bother putting on a shirt as he traipsed over to the door and swung it open.

His breath hitched.

"Stiles," Derek breathed out almost in relief. He hadn't expected Stiles to answer.

Stiles remained frozen in the doorway.

Derek's eyes raked over Stiles. He had always found Stiles incredibly attractive and right now in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, Derek was reminded of his attraction.

"What are you doing here?" Stiles demanded, finding his voice finally. He felt nervous under Derek's gaze. He was suddenly very aware of how naked he was.

"I...miss you," Derek admitted quietly.

Stiles rolled his eyes, anger washing over him.

"Not like that," Derek added hurriedly. "I mean, not only like that."

This caused Stiles to frown.

"I miss talking to you. I miss your smile. I miss hearing about work. I miss listening to you complain about Scott. I miss spending time with you," Derek found himself admitting things he never imagined saying out loud.

Stiles' frown deepened. "How drunk are you?"

"What? Not at all," Derek shook his head. Sure, he'd had a drink before coming over, but it was just to give him the courage to say these things. He was far from drunk though.

"You miss me?" Stiles asked skeptically.

Derek nodded, swallowing hard. He was regretting this already. Damn Erica and Boyd for convincing him.

"You're sure you don't just miss the sex?" Stiles crossed his arms.

"Well of course I miss the sex, the sex was...beyond great, but I hated when you left. I hated watching you go back to Theo over and over again. I hated waiting for your call all the time," Derek took a half step forward as if asking Stiles' permission to touch him.

Stiles took a step back forcing Derek to refrain from reaching out.

"Why?"

"Because I...I want to be with you," Derek's throat felt tight as he spoke. The words felt foreign in his mouth.

"You don't do commitment, remember?" Stiles sneered. "So how do you expect me to believe you don't just want me for the sex?"

Derek dropped his head, his previous words had clearly left a bad taste in Stiles' mouth. Not that he could blame him. "I'm sorry I pushed you away. I was, still am, afraid of the way I feel about you. Getting attached was never part of the plan. Strictly physical, that's all it was supposed to be. But you let me be vulnerable. You let me be myself with you and you wanted me despite it. You were willing to give up Theo for me."

Stiles noticed the way Derek's shoulders were hunched in shame and how his eyes reflected the worry he felt. He was expecting Stiles' rejection.

"What happened to you that made you this way? Who hurt you so bad that you can't even admit how you feel for someone?" Stiles needed Derek to be honest with him, to know that he was genuine.

"Everyone," Derek's eyes dropped.

"My dad ran out on my mom and I when I was young. My mom died before my twelfth birthday. I was tossed around from foster family to foster family. My first boyfriend cheated on me. My second boyfriend used me to get to one of my foster siblings at the time. My first girlfriend rejected me when she found out I was into guys as well. My second girlfriend cheated on me. And my last girlfriend..."Derek trailed off.

"What?" Stiles took a step forward, urging Derek to continue.

"She took advantage of me in a way no one should ever be taken advantage of. I told her I loved her, and she used it against me and then mocked me for it."

Stiles saw the hurt in Derek's eyes now, the trauma from his past visible in his posture.

"I'm so sorry," Stiles took another step forward.

"I didn't want to hurt you, and I know that I did. I was honest up front about how I viewed our relationship. I thought you understood. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I did understand, but I just wanted you to want me the way I wanted you. And I don't mean physically."

Derek dropped his head, "I do."

Stiles stepped forward once more, reaching a hand out to lift Derek's chin. "Do you trust me?"

Derek only nodded.

"Then tell me. Tell me how you feel about me."

Derek swallowed, his throat closing at the thought.

"I can't..."Derek turned his head away from Stiles. His chest constricting at the mere idea of those words.

"Would it help if I told you how I feel about you?" Stiles didn't want to pressure Derek into saying something he wasn't ready for, but he needed to know this wasn't a trick. A ploy to get Stiles into bed again.

Derek snapped his head up to look at Stiles, disbelief and hope dancing in his sage green eyes. "But you left. I thought you hated me."

"I left because I didn't want to get hurt anymore. I left because I was sure you only wanted me for the sex. I left because I love you."

Derek's heart flipped at the words he'd wanted to hear all his life. He hadn't heard those words since his mother died. Not even as a lie. His foster families never told him that. None of his past relationships had told him that.

Derek stepped towards Stiles, reaching a hand out to cup the side of his face. "Say it again."

"I love you."

Derek's heart was pounding heavily in his chest. He leaned forward, his forehead resting on Stiles'. He closed his eyes. "Again."

"I love you, Derek." Stiles obliged. He would tell Derek that as many times as he wanted to hear it. He could see how much it meant to him.

Derek dipped in, his lips catching Stiles' in a gentle kiss.

Stiles' hands pulled Derek in closer, by the lapels of his jacket, deepening the kiss. The familiar taste of Derek made Stiles' stomach flip. He'd missed Derek. The past few months had been hard for him. He'd stared at Derek's number on many a lonely night, convincing himself it was a bad idea.

When Derek finally broke the kiss, their breathes tangled between them in heavy pants, Derek whispered, "I love you too."

For the prompt: Lyrics and quotes

Inspired by the song ‘I never existed’ by Chase Atlantic

Consider buying me a coffee, I would really appreciate it!

[chrysthebadwolf]

STEREK WEEK 2019- Day 2-  Lyrics&Quotes

A pure soul And beautiful You Don’t understand Don’t fear me now I will breath For the both of us

Stand Inside Your Love- The Smashing Pumpkins

[seanchaidh7]

For day 2 of @sterekweek2019

Lyrics & Quotes

All for Us

Ohh, taking it all for us

Taking it all

Taking it all for us

Ohh, doing it all for love

Doing it all

Doing it all for love

Taking it all for us, oh

Doing it all for love

Yeah-eah, yeah-eah

Too much in my system (famine, famine)

Money MIA (pockets hella empty)

Mama making ends meet (making ends meet)

Working like a slave (Mississippi, ay, ay)

Daddy ain't at home, no (father, father)

Gotta be a man (Michael Corleone)

Do it for my homegrowns (sisters, brothers)

Do it for the fam (yeah, so tell 'em, Labby)

Ay

Just for your love, yeah, I'll

Give you the world

Mona Lisa's smile

Hey

Hell, I'll do twenty-five to life

If it makes me your king

A star in your eyes

Guilty or innocent

My love is infinite, I'm giving it

No need for prisoners

Bitch, please, hands up

This is a stickup, 'cause I'm

Hey, yeah

I'm taking it

Yeah-eah

I'm taking it all for us, oh

Doing it all for love

Yeah-eah, yeah-eah

Guess you figured my two times two 

Always equates to one

Dreamers are selfish

When it all comes down to it

I hope one of you come back 

To remind me of who I was

When I go disappear

Into that good night

(Good night, good night, good night, good night)

I'm taking it all for us, oh

Doing it all for love

Yeah-eah, yeah-eah

[purpleyin]

Teen Wolf moodboards: Sterek - lyrics from “Apocalypse” by Cigarettes After Sex (thanks to @tygermine for the song suggestion).

Made for @sterekweek2019  and Day 2 prompt ‘lyrics & quotes.’

--

You've been locked in here forever, and you just can't say goodbye -

Your lips, my lips, apocalypse -

Go and sneak us through the rivers flood is rising up on your knees -

Oh please, come out and haunt me, I know you want me -

Oh, when you're all alone, I will reach for you, when you're feeling low, I will be there too

[thedaughterofkings]

Pirouettes and Practice Peeks

Written for @sterekweek2019​ Day 2 : Lyrics & Quotes - a little loosely interpreted!^^ Please enjoy 900 words of awkward Derek and pure fluff!

Derek only sees him for a minute or so each week. 

His bus home stops across from a dance studio and on Wednesdays Derek makes sure to sit on the right side of the bus. With the darkness coming earlier every day, it’s easy to see into the studio, as brightly lit as it is. Most afternoons and evenings are filled with dance classes, everything from baby and daddy dancing to awkward teenagers learning how to waltz to zumba for grandmas. 

But on Wednesdays, there’s just him.

Derek doesn’t know his name, barely even knows his face, but he knows how his body moves to music Derek can’t hear. The most fascinating thing though is that Derek can’t tell which style he trains for. One week it’s ballet, the next something closer to Jazz dance, then he’s joined by a strawberry blonde woman for some ballroom dance. One night Derek is pretty sure he recognises the dance routine from Flashdance, only to choke on his own spit when the next week gifts him with a kilt, flying up tantalisingly high on every jump. 

When the bus doesn’t stop to drop someone off, Derek sometimes only catches a mere glimpse of the dancer, a pose held for the few seconds he sees him, a pirouette so quick he blurs in front of Derek’s eyes. Those evenings make him seem even more like a dream, a vision disappearing as quickly as it appears. 

Derek wouldn’t ever admit it, and Laura can certainly never know, but he times his bus ride home on Wednesdays for those fleeting glimpses. Which is why he’s very disappointed when one Wednesday in mid December a meeting runs late and makes him miss his usual bus. 

The later bus is far emptier than his usual one, so there’s no shortage of free spaces, but Derek still automatically sits down on the right side of the bus, at the window, even though he knows there’s no point now. The dancer is probably long gone now. 

Indeed, when the bus stops, the dance studio is dark, the light from the street lamp reflected in its empty window. Derek had known that would be the case, but he still feels a sharp sting of disappointment. 

“I haven’t seen you before, are you new?”

The voice makes Derek look up slowly and brings him face to face with who must be his dancer. Up close, the guy is almost absurdly pretty, big amber eyes crowned by long, dark lashes, pink, plump lips that are pulled up in a smile that reveals teeth shining brighter against the contrast of the dark flush on his cheeks. For a moment Derek thinks he has fallen asleep and is dreaming on the bus. 

“But I have seen you,” he replies dumbly and dancer guy’s smile brightens even more.

“Oh cool! Where?”

“Here,” Derek says and then corrects himself when dancer guy’s eyebrows furrow: “I mean, in the studio. When the bus stops.” Dancer guy’s frown deepens and Derek hurriedly adds: “I’m not a stalker, though, I promise! I just like your dancing! And I’ve never gotten off the bus, just watched you on our way past. I don’t even know your name!”

Dancer guy studies him for a moment, expression unreadable and then says: 

“I’m Stiles. It’s nice to meet you, not-Stalker.”

He stretches out a hand and Derek, overwhelmed with the events of tonight, first has to fumble around with his phone, almost dropping it in the process, before he can manage to grasp it.

“Derek,” he replies. “Derek Hale. I work a little further into town and really do need to take this bus, I promise.”

“I believe you,” Stiles reassures him and after a brief moment of hesitation he seems to come to a decision and adds: “If you’d like to catch more than a few seconds of my dancing, we’re doing a production in the City Hall Friday night. Eight pm. There’ll be a ticket for you at the door if you want one, Derek Hale. And perhaps afterwards you can tell me what you liked about my dancing over a drink or two.”

And with that he gets up and starts making his way towards the front of the bus, which has stopped again without Derek even noticing. As it is, Stiles is almost out of the door already before Derek finds his voice again and calls out: “I’ll be there!”

He isn’t sure Stiles has even heard him anymore, the doors closing before Derek’s last word has fully formed, but then he sees Stiles jump into a twirling pirouette, ending it with a bow and a wave towards Derek, who waves back, but forgoes the pirouette for now.

“City Hall, Friday night, eight pm,” he whispers to himself and tries not to grin too widely.

He has no idea what awaits him there - judging by Stiles’ practices, it might as well be Swanlake as Step up, but that doesn’t even matter. He’s going to see Stiles dance in two days time, really properly dance, not just sneak a peek at a practice.

And he has a date afterwards!

Potentially he’s even more excited about that. Not yet excited enough to try a pirouette though. He’ll leave that to Stiles.

Can’t miss his date because of a broken leg, can he?

Oh god, he has a date with dancer guy! Whom he sort of maybe slight stalked!

If this goes anywhere, they are going to have to come up with a different cover story, because Laura can never, ever know about this. 

All of my Sterekweek fics

[jmeelee]

Sterek Week 2019 · Themes: Lyrics & Quotes, Canon Highlights

Rated: T

Words: 1,137

Based on the song, Put the Gun Down by ZZ Ward

*Warning: While this is very much a Sterek story (pre-sterek, if you will), it is the last episode of Teen Wolf from Lydia’s POV. 

++++++++++

“It’s time to put the guns down.”

-Chris Argent, Wolves of War

Lydia’s relationships with men have always been complicated.  It starts with her father, who not only divorces Lydia’s mom but his daughter as well when he abandons Beacon Hills to start a shiny-new family.  She isn’t naive enough to believe it will end with Stiles Stilinski, but deep down in a very secret part of her heart, she’d hoped. 

She won't define herself by the men who pass her like ships in the night, but she’s fiercely intelligent, adaptive and insightful, and each signal flash illuminates more of her truth. From Jackson Whittemore, Lydia discovers the cost of hiding who you are; from Aiden Steiner, the price of concealing your heart.  Scott McCall teaches her what a family can be, and Peter Hale demonstrates the heights and depths her power can reach.  What Jordan Parrish could have shown her she doesn't allow herself to explore, because the fire burning between two harbingers of death can’t possibly sustain life.  

Then, there’s Stiles.  

The image reflected back to her in Stiles’ warm, brown eyes is always artfully applied cherry-red lipstick and perfectly coiffed strawberry-blond curls, even on her worst days. For years she’s wrapped his devotion around her like a favorite oversized sweater, easily hung back in the closet when the weather turns warm.  These days it’s made of tougher, sturdier stuff, things she can’t define, and wears like armor, protecting her heart.  Before tonight, she never worried it might not be enough.

Despite no longer sporting crimson eyes and the title of alpha, Derek Hale storms back into town with self-assured confidence, born of blood and sacrifice and evolution, and wherever Derek goes, Stiles’ eyes follow. It makes Lydia feel bruised, skin rubbed raw, body dragged along the concrete under Roscoe’s tires. 

“You came back for Beacon Hills?” Scott asks, surprise and gratitude coloring his words. 

“No,” Derek answers, “I came back for you.”  Derek and Scott hug, grasp each other’s shoulders, bridge years of miscommunication and misunderstandings in seconds as the pack looks happily on. She’s never related to Peter more than when he breaks up the saccharine reunion with a snide, immature comment.  There's a petulant child inside her too, longing to scream in Derek’s young, handsome face, I had him first.   

She’ll never hang Derek for his family’s tragedy—that yard of rope wraps solely around Kate Argent’s neck, and will hopefully strangle her one day—but Derek’s return to the pack ignites a spark that threatens to burn down Lydia’s whole damn house. It’s devastatingly ironic  Should she laugh, or cry? Or scream.

Inside the vet clinic, she listens with a tight, sardonic smile as Stiles and Derek banter back and forth, weaving the tale of their reunion.  “You convinced the FBI to bring an intern onto an extremely dangerous field operation?” Lydia asks Stiles, lips pursed and eyes narrowed.  

Derek rolls his eyes. “I'm surprised he didn't convince them he could lead it.” The reply is part slight, part praise, just another round of their endless tug-of-war.  Lydia tries not to think about who will fall first. 

“Anyway, long story short,” Stiles gestures toward Derek, “I basically had to, you know, save his life.” 

If you unraveled the story of Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale, the words would span continents, developed in chapters when Lydia was merely a recurring character, spine reinforced, made stronger by years of wear, tear, and repair.  The tale Stiles tells about rescuing Derek is something straight out of a romance novel, the cheesy kind she used to hide under her bed in middle school. While Derek’s version is less flowery, it’s clear they both want to be the hero in each other’s stories.  They always save each other.

Instinctually, she doesn’t want to look too closely at Stiles’ face, illuminated in the surgical light of the exam room, afraid she’ll see the ending clearly written across his features: Lydia, holding a white flag, back against the bullet-riddled wall.

--------------------

“I should have let you board that plane to Paris,” Lydia tells Malia, statue face frozen in perpetual terror. “Should have pushed you into the arms of those mysterious French men."       

She’s lost Jackson and Ethan somewhere in the dark, deserted halls of her alma mater, and a monster lurks outside the closed classroom door, turning her friends to stone.  “I love you,” it whispers through the cracks in the wood, between the beats of her heart.  It emanates from a Stiles-shaped space inside her head, but speaks with Derek’s voice. She’s heard the phrase before, directed at her, but never with that desperate, broken edge, so sharp and jagged it shreds her apart from the inside out.  She squeezes her eyes shut, presses palms against her ears, but the words are peppermint-scented, tickling her nose, the exact scent and flavor of Stiles’ toothpaste.  

The ardent whisper of a lover. Now. Darling. Then it changes, a wolf’s growl.  Let me in.

“Fear’s pretty motivating,” Derek words from earlier ring in her ears.  She sees him, strategically positioned next to Stiles, their bodies turned unconsciously toward each other.  It’s burned onto the backs of her eyelids. “Especially when it leads to anger.” 

Lydia never imagined she’d be this afraid, but it doesn’t make her angry.  She’s enraged. 

“You can’t have me,” she tells the Anuk Ite, and thinks of her quiet strength, her loud scream, of bringing an armory full of grown men to their knees.  

--------------------

“He’s not healing,” Malia cries, desperate fingers scrabbling over Scott’s bloodstained cheeks. 

“I’m trying.” Scott’s panicked breaths echo around the library. Her stomach heaves. “It’s not working.  I can’t focus.”

Malia cradles his head in her hands.  “Hey.  Hey!  Look at me.  Yes, you can, just concentrate.”    

But he’s not healing, no matter how much Malia begs, and everyone knows what it means.   Stiles looks at Lydia, eyes desperate, unnerved.  Lydia grabs Stiles’ hand, holds on for dear life.  “Malia...Kiss him.” 

Her friend looks back at her, face incredulous.  “What?”

“Kiss him.”

There’s a collective intake of breath when Scott and Malia’s lips part, and Scott’s eyes blink open.  Something exciting burst in her chest, strange and startling, and Stiles squeezes her hand. She looks up into his face, thinking, Love can win.   

But Stiles isn’t looking at Lydia.  As Scott heals, he and Derek stare at each other, faces alive with hope.  This is what you do for me.  

Her fingers slip from Stiles’ bruising grip.

Lydia’s relationships with men have always been complicated.  The end of this one has her feeling curiously sad, like she’s lost something she never even knew she had.  But she’s smart, and even tonight, on the eve of all-out war, Lydia still learns new, hard truths. 

Love is not bulletproof.  And Derek Hale is a smoking gun.

[lifebeginsbyleaving]

Hurt me now or Save me

This story is for the sterek week prompt lyrics and quotes. There are two songs for this oneshot.

Hurt me now, by Quinn Lewis is from Stiles POV and his side of things.

 Save me, by Noah Kahan is Derek's POV/ internal feelings.

If you can I would recommend listening to them first then while reading.

Thanks! Hope you like it.

                                   Carter☺

"Stiles- Stiles just STOP!"

Stiles' flurry of movement and rush of words stopped. There was a distance between them this time that felt different, insurmountable.

Derek looked like speaking pained him. "Just stop. You're too loud. I'm tired of this. Stiles we're nothing. This is nothing, it has always been nothing-"

"Der how can you sa-"

His objection only served to make Derek more determined. "You're nothing to me."

Stiles' adamancy disappeared to be slapped with a look of broken betrayal and sorrow.

Stiles' eyebrows were furrowed in pain and Derek's were wide with a look of shock, unbelieving in the hurt he inflicted.

Stiles' mouth gaped and his voice shook. "I- I- I'm nothing? In all our fights I've been annoying, inconvenient, a bastard, a shit, intolerable, an asshole, but I have never, ever, been nothing to you. But maybe that is what I am. Maybe I'm just wasting my time. Maybe I've wasted all this time confusing you not wanting to be saved for really not worth being saved. I wanted to believe it so bad. That you could love me, but you can't, can you?" He felt his stomach drop out as he went to turn away.

Derek caught his arm. "Wait. That's not- I didn't- I didn't mean it like that."

"No, no it's okay." He had a bitter smile on his face. "I know I've already hit the ground. Come on Derek, don't pull any punches. I already know. You said we should just let it go." Stiles snatched his arm back.

Derek remembered void Stiles having more emotion in his eyes than he did now.

Derek desperately grabbed for his hand, but again Stiles pulled away.

"I'm nothing." He nodded his head minutely. "Okay. Consider this me letting it go."

"Fuck Stiles don't leave. I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make things worse. Please just stop!"

Stiles didn't even flinch at him shouting as he grabbed his keys of the counter.

Tears blurred his vision as he drove. He was turning corners sharp and fast. It always ended like this when Stiles was holding out for something that would never come, but maybe it should actually end this time. A plume of smoke from the engine had him pulling over. He punched the wheel once he was stopped. "God! Why does every thing I love break down!" He dropped his head against the wheel. As he sobbed his mind forced all the memories from their fights to be replayed.

****************************

"Don't be a dumbass Stiles!"

Stiles looked around at the pack with a look of incredibility. "Me?! I'm being a dumbass?! No. No sir. That would be the stupidwolf that thinks he can run out of the blast radius in less than three seconds! I don't care if you're Barry fucking Allen you aren't getting out of there before you get blown to bits! And I will not le-"

"You won't let me what? You Stiles Stilinski what exactly won't you let me do? We aren't debating why you won't let me go, I'm asking how you think you could stop me?"

"We both know I am more than able to stop you."

Lydia's eyes shifted swiftly from one to the other with an edge of uncomfort. "Alright boys you're both special. Now can we please calm down.

Derek scoffed haughtily eyes not even leaving Stiles'. "You mean your little sparklers Deaton lets you set off time to time?"

Stiles' eyes glowed a bright purple as he snarled more wild than any wolf. His fingers twitched as he spat his words. "I'm not afraid of you anymore. Let's go sourwolf. Let's see if you've gotten any immunity to electricity." Threatening purple sparks flickered off his hands. "Oh wait, no. We both know you don't. Still why don't we try. From what you've told me it sounds like fun. She had fun with you didn't she?" Stiles took a threatening step forward.

It was like all the air got sucked out of the room. They all knew he went to far. There was no taking that back. There was no easy way to unthaw the chilling defensive look Derek gave him.

Scott jumped in between them and locked eyes with Stiles. "Enough. Calm down." Derek growled. He looked to Derek. "Both of you."

Stiles was almost always the last one out from a pack meeting except for Isaac, but it still shocked Scott as everyone trickled out how he remained.

"Hey dude do you want to come over to my place to hang out?"

"That sounds good bud. I'll meet you there later."

Scott frowned. "No I was thinking now." Scott let his eyes very obviously drift towards the kitchen where Derek was.

"No I'm cool bro. Go get everything set up. I'll be there." Stiles patted his chest.

"Stiles he might need some time. You shou-"

"I know what I should do. Do you? I'm really cool dude. Go." He spoke with only a fraction of the edge he had before, but Scott still felt the sharpness in his voice.

Scott reluctantly headed out. "Call if yo-"

"I know."

There was silence for several minutes.

"Did you just Solo Scott?" Derek spoke walking into the kitchen drying his hands on a towel.

"He deserved it."

Derek raised an eyebrow. "No he didn't." He put the towel around his neck.

"No he didn't." His eyes met Derek's pleadingly. "No he didn't. I'm sorry."

Derek shrugged. "He didn't, but I did."

Stiles looked remorseful as he shook his head. "No you didn't."

He smiled. "It's okay. Anyways come help me with dinner."

Stiles grabbed his hand and he turned back. "Hey you need to quit this habit of shutting me out. Let me in."

Stiles stared into Derek's eyes with an intense searching look.

"Derek, you didn't deserve that." Stiles grabbed one side of the towel with each hand and pulled his head down. He rested their foreheads together. "I used what I knew about your past against you, to hurt you, to torture you just like she did, and that was not okay. That was horrible of me and I'm sorry. You did not deserve that."

"Okay."

"Do you actually believe that? Do you actually see what I do?"

He huffed. "To be honest? I don't know. I don't know if I believe it. I don't know why you bother. Why do you try and save me when I have only made things worse for you? And sometimes I wonder 'Am I being selfish?' Because when you say things like that to me I don't care. I don't care if I'm worth it."

Stiles intertwined their hands. "Believe it. I bother because you don't always make things worse for me. You can make them so much better. You are worth it."

***

"Stiles you need to leave me. Go. Figure a way out I know you can."

"You bet your ass I can. I'm going to figure a way out for both of us."

"No Stiles just go. It's okay I deserve this. Remember how angry you are at me? I left with out you. I did this to myself. I keep ignoring you. I keep leaving you and the pack. I deserve this."

"What?! Derek oh my god, I'm a moron! No, that's not what I meant. You don't! I just- I was angry. I didn't mean what I said.  And I'm not leaving you so don't waste your energy."

Derek would need all of it. Attached to his legs was a weight and in the numbing water of the lake they were trapped in by a magical ice dome, they were freezing. Stiles arrived and blasted through the ice as Derek was drifting down once again. He was getting too tired from having to swim up while being pulled down. The water was so frozen it felt like icicles stabbing into his flesh. He was tired of fighting. He had just made things worse with the Asle fae.

"Stiles u-use your agic like you did to g-get in. Get o-ou go. Don't b-b-bother. Let m-me go."

"Uggh can yo-ou just shut up. I'm trying to think. I'm never going to stop saving you, so a little help would be appreci-ciated. Besides it was a one way trip. The only way I'm g-getting through that ice is if so-someone lets us out or if you break u-u-us out."

"W-what? You're so sup-pid! Why ould y-you do that?"

Stiles was sick of this fight. They've had it so many times. "Because you're pack, and that means no matter how w-worthless you think you are if you're dr-drowning in a lake I'll always reach for y-your hand dum-m-mbass."

Derek was too tired and cold to argue. "Why can't you j-just bur-rst through ag-gain?" Stiles could hear Derek's teeth clattering together, or was that the echo of his own? He couldn't tell and he was just so cold.

"Because I had heat out there. My magic n-needs balance, but it needs at least a spark of something to balance against. I can't create someth-thing out of nothing I just f-fan the flickers into flames and w-weaken the flames to flickers to even out or manipulate the balance. And I don't kn-know if you'v-ve notic-ced, but n-no heat h-h-here."

Derek passed out and in the quiet he heard the muffled roars of the Asle.

Stiles kept shaking him and clutching him close to his chest trying to wake him up. "D-d-d-der jus-st wake u-up!"

"Sti-Stiless I-I I um itz c-c-col. I'm ir-ired"

"Hey! H-hey. No. N-no, don-n't d-do this. Pleasse just hang o-on." Stiles was also shivering, but his shakey hand gripped Derek's. "We-e need to ju-ju-st hang on t-t-till the pack fi-finds us."

"Ake i-ine."

"Wh-what? D-d-d-derek! W-wake up!"

Derek woke back groggily. "T-take m-m-m-m-my he-heat. T-take M-m-ine."

Derek blacked out and then he woke up on a table at Deaton's with a gasp. "Stiles!" He looked around wildly at the concerned faces of his pack. Well, some of, Scott, Lydia, Erica, and Stiles were all missing.

Derek spoke with a broken voice. "No." Derek shook his head. "Where is he? Please." Derek looked pathetic, like he would do anything in the world to get the right answer. "Please!"

Deaton's calming voice spoke. "Derek calm down. You were out for six hours, but your body isn't still at a hundred percent. Don't stress yourself."

He shouted again. "Where is Stiles!"

The icicles that were assaulting Derek's legs earlier turned to vines of thorns reaching from the bed to twist around and shred his muscles. They were keeping him in place as much as the lake had frozen him. He felt like his heart was chilled to the core with thinking that they would've reassured him by now if Stiles was okay.

Derek looked at Isaac pleadingly. "He has to be okay. Tell me he's okay."

Isaac walked to his alpha's side. "We dealt with the Asle. We-"

Derek shouted angrily. "I don't care about that! Where is he!"

Isaac flinched from his tone.

Boyd came up behind Isaac and put one hand around his shoulders and the other on Derek's arm before speaking. "He's in the woods still."

Derek looked furious. "Bring him here now! I don't care if-if he-he's... Just bring him here! Why would you leave him?!"

Allison spoke up next. "We couldn't move him."

That sounded terrifying. "Why not?" Derek started to get up and Boyd caught his shoulder. He growled at Boyd. "I have to go see him! You aren't telling me anything. I need to know what is wrong."

Allison spoke up next, "We don't think you should, but he still had a heartbeat."

Derek frowned and furrowed his eyebrows. "Still has a heartbeat? What does that even mean. Why won't you just say Stiles is okay?!"

Deaton spoke up next, "Because we don't know if he is. Drink this." Deaton pressed a mixture to Derek's lips and no matter how much He wanted to slap it from his hands or spit it at him he knew he needed it, and he knew Deaton wouldn't continue speaking until he did. "We don't know what's happening, and we couldn't bring him here."

Derek looked murderous. "You left him there not knowing if he was okay!?"

"Yes. Scott, Lydia, and Erica are with him now. They will call with any updates. I, however had to leave to help you. You would have died."

Derek let out a choked sob as tears started flowing. "So? Who cares. You left Stiles! You heartless bastard! He's your apprentice! HE'S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! AND YOU DIDN'T HELP HIM! You let him go! He's alone because of you! He's hurt becau-"

Deaton's calm patient demeanor shattered like a mirror and suddenly his words echoed heavily in Derek's mind as if they were refracted from multiple mouths. The jagged edges slicing into him mercilessly.

"No, Derek you let him go! He's alone because of you! He's hurt because of you, not me! I had to choose between helping you or figuring out what was wrong with him. I had to choose between the punk kid that's been following his best friend into my office for years and sneaking the cats extra treats- who is also yes, my apprentice- and the boy my alpha made me swear to protect the day he was born. You are both my responsibilities. I am his teacher, and your emissary. Just because you can make everybody else's lives hell by using the pain of your past and family to harm the people around you now doesn't mean I can! Did I leave him? Yes. I chose to help you because as soon as I got there he looked me in the eyes and begged me to save you. After he got done taking what little heat that remained from his body to burst through the ice, dragging your unconscious body through those glacial waves, and casting a spell to protect you from the Asle he still used his last conscious moment to plead for your life. He had that much faith that you were worth saving. My faith however is wavering."

Deaton looked at him disappointed.

"Derek do you fully understand what Stiles is? He's not just some kid, some witch, or even just an emissary. He is a spark. Most alphas would kill to have something that rare and that once in several life time special. And yet you treat him like a child that doesn't know the stove is hot. Stiles could have enough lightning under his skin to burn down entire forests and you treat him like his opinion doesn't matter because he could get hurt. In trying to save him from you, you forget to actually save him. He doesn't need to be protected from you, he needs to be protected by you."

Before anyone could react Derek bolted out the door.

When he got closer to the lake he smelt burning and saw the glow of fire in the darkness. He shifted fully to run even faster. Once he broke the tree line he transformed back to see Scott, Erica, and Lydia all surrounding a giant circle of raging fire illuminating the dark forest. Through the flames the outline of a body in the middle could barely be seen, Derek felt his knees go out, but the ground under them didn't even register.

He smelt the smoke from the day he lost everything once again. He was utterly empty. He let out a choked sob.

That caught their attention. The next moment Erica was at his side and Scott was talking to him. He couldn't hear him over Lydia's screaming. Once she appeared over Scott's shoulder with a destroyed look upon her face he realized it was him. He was screaming while letting out choked sobs.

He didn't know how much time passed till Erica moved, but it felt like decades. Without Erica supporting him he fell forward onto hands gripping the dirt. His screams fell to a steady rhythm of pouring out of tears and breaths and the pounding in his ear subsided enough to finally be able to make out words.

"En to it. Derek you need to calm down. Listen to it. Do you hear it? Derek can you hear me, can you hear it?"

The confusion calmed him enough to look up at Scott. "H- hear what?"

Scott looked relieved. "Good. Good. Just take a few breaths."

When did the pack get here? "What? Hear what?"

Scott guided him up and supported him along with Erica.

Scott started dragging him towards the fire and the tears started all over. "No! No no no! I can't. I can't. Please. Don't make me. Please."

Scott looked sympathetic. "You need to see it Derek."

Lydia put a hand out in front of them. It was burned, and Scott and Erica's skin and hair were covered in soot and the clothes they were wearing weren't theirs. He didn't know how he didn't see it before, her arms looked terrible. The alpha in him reacted to her pain. "Maybe that isn't the best idea. He needs to calm down." As she spoke Derek lifted up a hand and gently brushed it against her skin. Lydia looked down at the black veins crawling up Derek's arms after she finished speaking.

"No it's okay. I need to do this. I need to see him."

They looked at him in a strange way as they helped him along.

"Derek I don't think you understand, hell I don't fully understand."

"Well then make me!" Derek snapped, tired of being told he didn't know things without anyone telling him anything. "Tell me exactly what happened."

Scott took a breath before responding. "I got a text that Stiles thought you were going to confront them on your own, he said he'd text when he found you and I never got a text. So I called the pack and Deaton and we looked for you guys, but by the time we got to the lake it was too late. You guys were already out. The Asle were surrounding you both, but there was a giant ring of fire that kept them away. You were still closer to the lake, but Stiles was slowly dragging himself to where he threw his phone. As soon as they saw all of us they fled. Once they were gone the ring of fire closed in on Stiles and engulfed him. Then Stiles told Deaton to take care of you before passing out. I ran in to get him, but as I drug him out the circle moved so he was still in the middle. Erica ran in and got me out. Deaton tried a few spells to get him out, but they didn't work. They took you because you were dying, and we stayed with him."

Derek tried to stay focused on what Scott was saying to not think about where they were going, but now they were close enough he could feel the heat on the face he had resolutely pointed down. It couldn't be pushed from his mind.

Derek stopped and they must've thought it was close enough because they didn't urge him farther. After a few moments of steadying breaths he looked up.

His eyes widened, and how mouth dropped. "He- he looks-"

Erica interrupted. "Alive. Deaton doesn't know what's happening, but yeah. Listen Derek, really listen."

He trained his ears and for awhile all he could hear was the crackling of the fire, but then he heard it. The steady unmistakable rhythm of Stiles' heartbeat.

He bolted towards the fire.

"Derek no!"

"Stop!"

They ran after him, but he was faster.

When he touched the edge of the fire he expected to feel the flames, but he didn't. As soon as he touched the fire it disappeared, like it was never there. All that was left was the smoke and charred remains of the ground surrounding a breathing unburned Stiles.

He ran and knelt by Stiles. He could feel the pack surround them. He picked up his head and gently cradled him. He tried to take his pain, but he couldn't. Stiles' heartbeat quickened. Derek could feel him stirring.

With the heat coming off Stiles, he felt the ice encasing his heart since the lake finally thaw. He was crying once again.

Stiles' eyes fluttered open, and the pack all held in a breath together.

"Ouch. I didn't like that fight."

Derek let out a choked laugh and gripped him tighter.

"Derek promise me we won't have to fight that fight again. Just tell me, I don't want to wait this out. I'd rather it hurt now. I need to know. I'd rather you hurt me now."

Derek shook his head. "No Stiles. Never, never again." Derek gripped him closer to his chest and whispered his words into the darkness.

"I promise."

***

"Oooo that boy was one doozy of a trip." He turned his snakelike eyes to where Derek was tied up. "Boy oh boy, that Kate chick really did a number on you! Tell me-"

He looked mocking yet playfully innocent.

"Sourwolf- You don't mind if I call you that do you?- have your wounds healed from your- hm let's be polite and say 'indiscretions'? Hmm, have you learned your lesson yet? Or are you going to let loverboy in and add another sentence to your record. First was Paige, then Kate, now Stiles. Though I do say New York wouldn't be far enough for your exile this time, you know, with the whole one's and incident, two's a coincidence, then, uh-oh three's a pattern! Oh wait, I didn't say that did I? No. That was loverboy. Sorry the memories do tend to get all gobbled up."

He scrunched his nose cheerfully, then his face fell to a look of despair.

"Oh wait, no. You don’t know. Not yet. You will though. You'll know when you find the used up husk that used to be your beloved. You see I sucked him drrrrry. I took every last memory. His first, his last-"

"I swear if you've hurt him-" Derek spoke with vitriol.

He waved his hand dismissively. "Relax would ya. I didn't hurt him." His eyes lit up with excitement. "It was so much worse. I took every last minute he ever lived and I sucked it out of him. Hehehe."

He showed a giddy sort of excitement.

"I did. I really reeeally did.  I took his first day of school, I took him dragging tall, dark, and dopey out into the woods, I took his idolization of the redhead, his love for his father, meeting every last member of his pack, meeting his best friend, meeting you. He knew too, he knew it all as it was happening. As I was taking every last part of himself that made him, him he knew. So as I took him watching his mother slowly forget who he was he thought- Hehehehe- sorry. Ehm got the giggly pants. He thought, 'Oh god I'm just like her. I'm going to look at the people I love most and not even know them. Know I'm hurting them.' In one of Stiles' last moments of truly being Stiles he thought about you all and how much losing himself would hurt you."

A faux sadness clouded his face, but the grin soon resurfaced.

"And you know the kicker Derek? The real kick in the pants is in his last moment, his very last, he screamed out your name, even after all that you've done to him. And you've done a lot to him, you guys shoot hateful words at each other like enemies across borders. He takes hits from you like a soldier. Pew pew pew."

The creature acted like he was shooting across the room.

"But to be fair your boy can take a hit. Still, for your name to be the one he called out after how much you hurt him is something. And you did sourwolf."

Derek growled at the use of the nickname again.

"You hurt him so bad he thought you hated him as much as you hate yourself."

He got close and whispered. "Which is a lot. You should work on that."

He skipped away again.

"Or not. It won't make any difference to him anymore. It won't even hurt him now. He won't care. Although, did he really before?"

That snapped Derek out of his head. The one thing he always knew is Stiles always cared about him, even if he didn't. He felt a surge of anger knowing what he took from Stiles.

When the pack got there the snake was still alive tied to a chair, but his mouth was bleeding like a waterfall. Derek was sitting in a corner.

"He wouldn’t shut up."

Scott spoke in a scolding tone. "Derek!"

Derek glared. "The only reason he's still alive is because he knows where Stiles is and how to fix him."

Once they found him it hurt so bad not seeing an ounce of recognition in his eyes. Before it was them all forgetting Stiles now it was the other way around, and he didn't know how Stiles didn't go mad. He wanted to just shake him till he called him sourwolf.

The snake gave him back his memories, but he wouldn't remember. Even after several threats the snake couldn't do anything further, he said Stiles had to remember on his own, even if Derek kept him chained up till he starved.

In the end, after several horrible weeks, they all took turns telling him things to get his memory back.

"Stiles please you have to remember. Remember who you were. Please. I love you. You're everything-" Derek looked shocked he had said that. "You're everything to the pack."

It was his father that got him to remember finally.

As everyone was celebrating with Stiles, Derek snuck out.

"You'd let me live... why?" The snake rubbed his wrists where the cuffs were.

"Because you're going to take the memory of our fight. And only that! Or I swear I will cut you to pieces so slowly you will wish you could take your own memories."

"Deal. But I'm still unclear why."

"He would never forgive me if he remembered what I said. I said horrible things. I could tell it was over."

The look he gave him, even if it was erased from Stiles' head, kept ringing in his. First the look of alarm, then the look of determination as he grabbed mountain ash to throw at the snake in his bedroom, next the confusion at seeing Derek too, it froze his filled hand long enough for the snake to dart to his neck. His mouth gaped open and Derek turned away from the look of utter betrayal. Finally when he looked back Stiles had the same look of peaceful sleep he had before.

"He didn't take our fight away Derek."

His eyes widened so far Stiles thought they would've popped out.

"Yeah he probably figured he could hit Mexico before you caught on, but he didn't know you put Boyd, no, Peter onto his tail. Yeah he's long dead by now. Right?" Derek stood still, barely nodded.

"He actually gave me his memory of you asking him to violate me. Even after everything I just went through. After it all you still asked him to do that to me." Stiles smiled bitterly.

"I'm so- I didn't know wha- You wouldn't ever hav-"

"I forgive you."

Derek looked even more shocked. "Wh-what? Why? I- I don't understand? Why would yo-"

"You wouldn't understand. Derek 'Why do you try to save me.' Hale. You are pack. Am I still mad? Fuck yeah. Am I going to get over it? Unfortunately. Why? Because it doesn't matter what you say to me, what you do, I see through all of your misdirections. I see who you are. I see you Derek. Before our fight I got close to territory that you aren't ready for, so you snapped. I got close so you pushed me away, and you did and said things to ensure I wouldn't want to come back. You are unforgivable because you want to be unforgivable, because you don't think to deserve forgiveness. You push people away so you can't hurt them. You shut people out, out of habit. When someone gets close to you and proves themself worthy you bare your teeth, not your neck. I'm not falling for it. You aren't going to bite me..."

Stiles scoffed.

"Not with those bunny teeth. Besides, we're finally getting somewhere. You mentioned my father's drinking being my fault in a fight after I asked you out. I think this is a step forward." Stiles chuckled.

Derek's eyes filled with tears and he rushed Stiles into a bone crushing hug. He took deep lungfuls of Stiles' scent with his nose in the crook of his neck. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't know why I say those things."

"Because you're scared. Everyone you've ever loved has hurt you. Some unintentional, some not, but still. Every last one of them. You have never known a love that didn't mean pain."

"It's okay. I deserve it. I hurt them too."

"You won't hurt me. I believe that. You just have to stop pushing me away."

"I thought I lost you."

"Never, sourwolf, never." Stiles tucked Derek even closer to himself.

****************************** After the flashes of angry shouts and hurt feelings stopped he knew this felt different.

He was so done, done fighting. He needed to know, and he would beat the answer out of Derek if it came to it. He got his jeep working again and turned around. The entire ride Stiles felt the lightning coursing through his veins.

Stiles flung the door open and rushed Derek.

"Stiles what are yo-"

In one swift motion Stiles grabbed his hand yanking him towards him, then used both hands to grab the sides of his face and smashed their lips together.

It wasn't aggressive, but it didn't lose any of its intense edge to fizzle into something softer. It wasn't loving, or passionate. It was by no means a sweet kiss, but it wasn't bitter or angry either. There was no decoration or expectation, just desperation.

They both pulled away out of breath.

"I think we both know the reason we fight so much. Because we both know there's something here worth fighting for."

Derek looked beaten and confused. "Stiles just let it go. Let us go. Let me go."

"No. I see who you are. We are worth fighting for. You are. So I'm not going to stop, but if you want to keep fighting me tell me now. Because if you're gonna hurt me hurt me now. I need to know." Stiles tried to betray that this was his very last chance with his pleading eyes. He let go of Derek's hand.

"I'm sick of fighting." Derek spoke like he was tired of even having to talk about fighting. He reached for Stiles' hand.

"Good good. Just let me help you. Derek, let me save you. Let me help you. Do you want me to?"

"Save me. Please. Please Stiles you're everything to me. But I don't know how to be the man you think I am. I don't deserve to be him."

Stiles remembered the empty words he's said before. He had to make sure this was the last time.

"Okay. Okay, say you do. Say you deserve all of the terrible things in the world. Say it was somehow your fault that an older woman tricked and seduced you when you were too young to know any better. Say the tragedy of your family didn't happen to you, it happened because of you. Say you are the worst person on the planet. Say you actually deserve what you think you do. Say all of that, but what about the pack? Hm? They don't deserve that. They don't deserve seeing you in so much pain. They don't deserve an alpha so focused on punishing himself for the past he forgets to make the future better for them. What- what about me? I deserve to have you. I do. After all the shit I got through, I deserve to get to be loved by you. You need to stop pretending you aren't worth it because I will never stop reaching for your hand. I- I love you Derek. You, you. The Derek that has messed up and failed and lost more fights than he's won. I always have and will, but I need you to at least like yourself. You have to let go Derek. Love them and remember them? Yes, always. But blame yourself? You need to move on if you won't do it for you do it for them. Do it for us."

Derek laid his forehead against Stiles' and closed his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want to, but I might. I'll work on it. I'll go back to therapy. I'll pray that I will change into who you think I am. I'll work with you, but I might still push you away. I might still hurt you now, but I want to be saved." Derek grabbed his other hand too.

"Then I'll save you."

[nightlight9]

Sterek Week 2019 Day Two: Lyrics and Quotes

Title: Darling Take My Hand

Song: Heads and Tails by Banners

Summary: In his youth, Stiles had never given much thought to getting married. There were too many other, more exciting things to think about. Then he met Lydia Martin, and things changed. Of course, he was never meant to be Lydia’s king, but that’s something that he’s okay with. More than okay actually. Because he gets to have this instead, and it’s perfect. 

Rating: G

AO3

----------

With everything you never really know

Whenever there is trouble on the road

Wherever you go, that’s where I’ll go

In his youth, Stiles had never really given much thought to getting married. There were too many other things to think about, like whether or not dinosaurs could exists again or where he could sign up to be a Jedi master. Marriage was a foreign idea that only registered when speaking about his parents and how perfect they were for each other or when he was forced to dress up and attend his cousin Marty’s wedding.  

Then he met Lydia Martin and things changed. His mom thought it was cute when he started imagining what their wedding would be like. She indulged Stiles by teaching him about flower bouquets, carefully constructing his ideal arrangement of red and pink roses bound together with lilies and one random sunflower (it was hideous but he was proud of it). She helped him bake a practice wedding cake, comforting him when it came out lopsided and less than perfect. To her, this was a child’s fantasy. It was a fun game to play with her son. But for Stiles, it was real. He knew that Lydia’s wedding would be a grand spectacle indeed, and he knew without a doubt that he would be standing at her side. 

Of course, he was wrong. While Lydia will always be his Queen, he was never destined to be her King. Her wedding was a fucking ball though, and he’s so proud that he at least got that right. 

But that’s fine. More than fine actually. It’s great. 

Because Stiles has something greater than a grand spectacle with Lydia Martin. He has a small backyard wedding with Derek Hale, and it’s better than he ever imagined. It’s perfect.

Derek smiles, small and almost shy as they take their places in the center of the makeshift dance floor in his dad’s backyard. There are bouquets of yellow roses and while lilies at each corner of the dance floor, put together by Lydia herself, and Stiles thinks that his dad’s backyard has never looked better. Not that he’s paying attention to that. His eyes are locked on Derek’s hand, on their matching rings, as he reaches out to pull Stiles close. It’s their first dance as a married couple, and Stiles has never been the weepy type, but as Isaac snaps pictures of them as the music cues up, he feels like he could cry he’s so happy.

Derek was put in charge of picking the music for their first dance, a task that seemed to frustrate him for weeks before he found the right song, and at first Stiles can’t figure out just what it is. As soon as he does though, tears tease the corner of his eyes. 

“Does this work?” Derek asks as the first note of “Heads and Tails” by Banners starts playing. His fingers clench against Stiles’ side, giving away his nerves that Stiles might actually say no. 

“It’s perfect,” Stiles whispers back. Because it it. Everything is. 

All you hear is emptiness and noise

Hanging on the fall of a coin

Whatever you choose, I’ll be with you

Around them, their friends and family watch them sway together. John is proud of his son, and so damn happy that he found someone that can make him feel truly alive. Despite the years of violence and danger that brought Derek and Stiles together, John knows with one hundred percent certainty that Derek will never let anything bad happen to Stiles. And that, coupled with the fact that they look at each other in the same way that John remembers looking at Claudia, is all that John has ever wanted. 

Beside him, Melissa wipes her eyes. Later, she’ll join Stiles on the dance floor for his mother-son dance. Even though she isn’t his biological mom, Melissa has always been there for him and he’s happy to share the moment with her in Claudia’s place. Derek won’t have a mother-son dance (though Melissa offered to be his stand-in too), but he will dance with Cora to his mother’s favorite song, and that will be enough. 

For now though, the moment belongs to Stiles and Derek. Stiles can’t stop smiling as he looks into Derek’s eyes. Gods, he didn’t know that it was possible to feel so warm. When he had asked Derek out two years earlier, he had expected to get shot down. Even with Kira’s assurance that Derek liked him and Lydia’s confidence that it would work out, Stiles thought that he didn’t have a chance. Instead, Derek ducked his head down to his chest to hide his smile in an act of shyness that Stiles wasn’t used to from him, and then he said yes. It was such a shock to Stiles that he stared at him for a full minute before asking if he was sure. And then Derek had rolled his eyes in a familiar way and that was that.

It wasn’t easy. Stiles isn’t sure that love is supposed to be even without werewolves and danger and near-death experiences. But they grew together, and by the time Beacon Hills finally calmed down enough that everyone in the pack could breathe without being concerned that their next breath might be their last, the bond between Derek and Stiles was unshakable. That being said, Stiles was still surprised when Derek got down on one knee one day after a normal dinner and pulled out a ring. It wasn’t a romantic setting in the least (Stiles was wearing a shirt with a stain on it for the Gods’ sake), but it was perfect for them: a little messy but filled with only the best intentions. Stiles said yes, and Derek asked if he was sure, and that was that. He never really expected a wedding, but he’s so glad that he let his dad talk him into one. Because swaying in Derek’s arms is something that he thinks he could probably do forever.

Hope in your tired eyes

Fight against the tide

Let it rise and fall and I’ll be here by your side

All I want to say is we’ll be okay

‘Cause we’ll hold it together, hold on together

“I love you,” Derek breathes. His voice is filled with awe and an overwhelming fondness that makes Stiles beam. 

“I love you more,” Stiles says, just to be a little shit. Instead of taking the bait and arguing with him like he has a thousand times before, Derek’s eyes flare blue. 

“I love you more than the moon.”

The words are said so honestly that Stiles actually chokes a little. Off to the side of the dance floor, Erica coos at them and Cora says ‘gross,’ even though it she sounds a little choked up too. 

Derek pays them no mind; he has eyes only for Stiles. “Alright,” Stiles sniffles, “you win this round.” Prodding gently at Derek’s chest, he smirks. “But don’t get used to it. Give me a little while and I’ll think of a clever comeback.”

Derek’s smile could light up the world. “I have no doubt about that, Husband.”

Husband. They’re married. Stiles gets to have Derek forever. He beams, then tucks his head down against Derek’s chest, letting the music and the pure feeling of the moment sweep him up. This is his forever, and it’s perfect.

Don’t lose your faith

It’s all just heads and tails

We’ll turn and face whatever comes our way

[josjournal]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Additional Tags: Sterek Week 2019, Stereklyrics5, Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Established Relationship, Break Up, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Song Lyrics, Don't copy to another site Series: Part 2 of Sterek Week 2019 Summary:

Ten months have passed since Derek left Stiles behind in Beacon Hills. He calls him and gets his voice mail.

[tabbytabbytabby]

Dragging You Down With Backflips (3297 words) by tabbytabbytabby Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, Sheriff Stilinski Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Getting Together, Breaking Up & Making Up, Travel, Romantic Gestures, Derek Hale is a Softie, Claudia Stilinski Memories, Kissing in the Rain, Sterek Week 2019, Stereklyrics5, Alternate Universe - Human Summary:

Stiles' dream has always been to travel the world. To explore and see things the way his mom always talked about. What he's not counting on is falling in love with his best friend, making the decision to leave that much harder.

For Day 2 of @sterekweek2019: Lyrics & Quotes

[acercrea]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Danny Mahealani, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Allison Argent Additional Tags: Stiles thinks Derek is cheating on him, But what if he isn't?, Stiles has really bad timing, sterekweek2019, Stereklyrics5, Song fic Series: Part 1 of Sterek Week 2019 Summary:

Derek has been distant lately, and Stiles is concerned. All signs are pointing to him cheating on Stiles. But what if he isn't? What if he is planning something that will change everything?

This is for day 2 of Sterek week, Lyrics. And it's an old fashioned song fic!

Song by Marc Broussard, I will include a link to the song in the fic.

[stacinadia]

For @sterekweek2019 day 2, Lyrics and Quotes!

Title:  Even if We Can’t Find Heaven

Rating:  G

Warnings:  None

Words:  1729

Summary:  Stiles tries to convince Derek that he will never be alone.

Songfic based on Rachel Platten’s “Stand by You,” with plenty of Derek feels and angst with a happy ending!

AO3 link

[chrysthebadwolf]

STEREK WEEK 2019- Day 2-  Lyrics&Quotes

I don’t know the night anymore, the frightful anonymity of death; in my innermost soul there hangs a fleet of stars….

…. I don’t know anymore the names of a world which rejects me. Clearly I read the potsherds, the leaves, the stars. My enmity is needless on the roads of the sky unless it is my dream which looks at me again with tears to cross the sea of immortality. Evening star, beneath the curve of your gold fire, the night which is only night I don’t know anymore.

Odysseas Elytis-  I don’t know the night anymore

[spoon-zi]

Sterek Week Day 2

Title: Atticus

Rating: Teen and Up

Word Count: 3456

Summary: “Derek likes to think that all of the truths that Atticus wrote are true of Stiles Stilinski.”

Tags: Quotes, Sterek Week 2019, Poetry, Aged Up Characters, Alternate Universe, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Tattooed Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Smokes, Awkward Derek Hale, No Beta

Notes: I know that lyrics are the go to for day two but the prompt was Lyrics & Quotes and technically I’m quoting Atticus so I fulfilled the prompt and had a lot of fun with it.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21191525