#Stella was found on the street as a toddler

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

Huh so apparently I never really gave an explanation on how Anastasia came to have Anne, Ellie, Loomy, Lou & Frankie

[estrellaxmorenox]

The doe-eyed woman taking in her form didn’t go unnoticed by Estrella. She was aware of how she looked and even more aware of how many men looked at her with lust and longing. They threw themselves at her in hopes to get a moment of her attention and called her out her name when they didn’t get it. In the same breath that they would assume she could be brought with expensive gifts and offered to be treated to dinner in the nicest places in town, they would call her a gold digger and a whore when she turned them down, in spite of the fact that she made more than enough money on her own to not be impressed by their feeble attempts at courtship. But that didn't bother her, because that would mean she cared about men’s opinions. It was the way women looked at her that she took more notice of.

The majority of women who cast their eyes upon Estrella did it with disgust. She was at the perfect height and for said height, the perfect weight. She was strict with her diet and never missed her scheduled time in the gym, and on top of it always had her nails and hair done to perfection. She did it because she valued herself, not for the attention like most thought, and always wanted to be at her personal best. Sadly, the result of caring about herself was that women – her preferred gender — viewed her as a threat. Those who didn’t keep themselves as well looked down on her for doing so. If it was a strange woman of the street, she looked at Stella like she was dirt, and if it was the wife of a subordinate or a co-worker, they treated her as though she were the biggest threat to their marriage, presumed she’d had work done, and acted as though she were trying to steal all their husbands. There wasn’t even a moment of reprieve from women that held themselves to the same standard, as they only saw Estrella as competition. 

Somewhere in the middle was the looks she got from younger women and girls. They were captivated by her model-esque walk, designer clothing, and confident flair in the same way they saw a Hadid or a Kardashian and felt in awe. It was a look of adoration that Stella found sweet, as being a role model was never her end goal, but not an idea she shunned, either. She was, after all, an advocate for self love and feminism that she would hope served as an inspiration, hoping that she could one day contribute to a world where women didn’t tear each other down or place value in their looks only because they wanted to please men. 

Lastly, and sadly the least, was the look she got from women who were interested in her. Hyper aware that her high femme aesthetic wasn’t telling of her preference, there were some women who still took a chance and hit on her. The only problem with this was that Stella was picky. The women who hit on her were mostly studs who sought to dominate her and assert themselves as the one in control, which she simply would never allow. Even if that wasn’t the case, Stella had no interest in someone masc presenting. Her whole reason for liking women was that they looked like women — soft and delicate and feminine. They didn’t need to dress to the nines like she herself did, but she still had her personal likes and dislikes, which meant that even those flirtatious looks she so seldom got from other women came from ones she had no interest in.

But this was a different look. It was a rare occasion when a woman looked at her with a puzzled, unreadable look. Stella stared back as she tried to discern what the woman was thinking as she took in her designer outfit. It wasn’t one of envy or annoyance, but it didn’t seem like it was quite like awe, either. Her dark eyes narrowed at the woman as she caught herself and spoke, “I guess you just have one of those faces.” She settled. “Although a pair of overalls and a braid and I’d expect to see you singing ‘Wheels on the Bus’ to a group or rowdy toddlers.” Stella teased. 

Moving to the elderly woman, Stella pecked her gently on the cheek, giving her a genuine smile. “Abuelita, que tal?” The woman gave a gentle answer between bites as Stella sat beside her, setting her purse on the table. All the while, the caregiver had been nervously prattling, which made Stella smirk. Part of her loves how intimidating she was — she didn’t wear five inch heels everywhere because they were comfortable, after all.

“For my driver it probably was. “ She stated as she shook out her hair with her hand a bit. She had probably nodded off a little in the car and thus flattened her very expensive hairstyle. “Are you trying to say I look tired?” Stella posed, narrowing her eyes at the woman. Knowing she was nervous, Stella still couldn’t help but want to set the woman on edge. Part of it was just for her own amusement, but she also knew that the woman had to have a backbone and deal well with scrutiny and being under pressure if she was going to last long at this job. Her family were a pack of wolves that would prey so easily on someone weak, and the last thing she wanted was for her grandmother to be left in the care of someone who could be manipulated.

Rising as the woman continued to speak, Stella took long, delicate strides towards her, stopping when she was behind her and angling herself to the side of the woman’s head. “ Do you always talk this much? Or do I just make you that nervous?”

For all of their slivers of chance encounters, Nora was surprised to find that the idea of who she imagined her to be was a completely correct assumption. It went without saying that whoever paid for all of this obviously had money, but there was a difference between that and meeting it in person.

She looked expensive. There was a glow on her skin, almost a shimmer of gold that curved on the peaks of her collarbone and down the lengths of her arms. Her clothes had no wrinkles, no stray human or pet hair, no distress or aging from multiple washes. Hair and nails shined, the skin on her face smooth, nearly glowing. Even from where she stood at the stove the food simmering below couldn’t deter the smell coming off of her, a tell as soon as she entered the room.

All that she had known was how generous she had been to the older woman. Now that they were face to face, a prospect that never worried her before, Nora suddenly felt timid. The food she was chewing on had been swallowed, and her hand nervously reached for paper towel to clean the wooden spoon. She must have swallowed air with the food because suddenly, it felt sharp in her stomach. Nora felt the weight of her gaze as if it might sitting on her shoulder, feeling self imposed scrutiny. “Yes.” She answered, an impish tone in her voice, thinking the worst.

Now she worried if everything looked tidy enough, if all boxes were checked, if she looked the part. “Oh no I probably just look young. I get that all the time.” She laughed it off, trying to conceal her nervousness. “Genetics or something, I guess.” Instead of letting herself stew in what insecurities she was creating in her head she plucked a bowl from dishes she’d cleaned and prepared the food at the stove for their expected guest. It kept her hands busy, and made her feel less like she shouldn’t be there.

“I didn’t know if you had eaten so I made extra just in case.” She told her, trying to fill the air with words. Maybe she was trying to make herself look better, less inadequate. “Was it a long drive down?” She let out a short breath, which she played off by preparing food at the stove and spooning it into a bowl. “You must be exhausted.” She felt the same way just listening to herself. Her busy hands placed the various foods and hot, steaming bowls on a tray to the middle of the table. “You should eat, I made plenty.” She encouraged, but it kind of felt like ass kissing even if she would’ve done it regardless. “I’m not to the level I’m sure you tasted, but I made her favorite. She taught me the recipe, maybe it’s something you like, too? It’s probably been, forever since you had a cooked meal. She tells me all the time how busy you are.” After she had finished setting the table for the two of them she pulled out the chair for her to sit. “Come, sit and eat and I’ll clean while we all catch up.”

[victoriareyloficlists]

Single Parents

Updated 10 November 2021

Rest of the Masterlist.

A Beautiful Mess by MizuPhoenix (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben/Kylo is a new dad, left with a baby and note from a one night stand. Rey is his flighty loud neighbor, who always has way too many friends at her house and doesn't make things easy on his new lifestyle. They argue relentlessly, until one day an emergency calls for her help with the baby and spawns them into the path to something heated in a different way. ) Baby Fever by HerSistersKeeper (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben Solo is fine staying single, even if he does find Rey, the teacher who lives a floor up from him and his son, attractive and charming. His toddler, Matt, has other ideas.) Baby Shark by Melusine11 (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo, kindergarten teacher extraordinaire can handle a lot. Fights over who is the leader in line for the day, crying over not getting the right color crayon they want, puke after gym time, but the one thing that consistently raises his blood pressure is one damnable song.) Bearers and Builders by AverageEpaulet (AO3 2021  Rated E Complete, 10 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Rey needs a nanny for her daughter Hazel and Ben happens to be the just right for the job. TW: previous infant death.) Butter Crisp Sandwich by DarkMage13 (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “Mr, I insist you join me for a tea party today, at precisely noon. My teddy will be there.” Ben glanced at the boring clock on the wall. Ten minutes until noon. He swallowed in fear. There was no escape.  Or: Ben Solo cannot say no to an adorable hazel-eyed little girl's request for tea.) Choreae Lucis by Shestoolazytologin (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo takes his daughter to her ballet classes and forgets his heart there.) chosen dreams by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben Solo is struggling with a fussy baby that won't stop crying. Ben's new neighbor Rey hears the crying and knocks on the door to see if she can help.) Close Enough to Kiss by Somewhere_overthe_Reylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's daughter comes with her to take a final exam. Dr.Solo ends up being soft for babies.) Expanding The Family Tree by WaterlilyRose (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 9 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Life didn't turn out exactly the way Rey imagined but she never imagined she could be this happy. Ben and herself were a good team with their daughter and proved themselves to be good parents.So if it worked once... why not again?) Father Knows Best by American_Punk_1990 (AO3 2016  Rated M Complete, 20 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is doing all he can to be the best single father that he can but he is in desperate need for a good baby sitter. Rey needs a new job and the absurdly tall, kind of goofy looking guy with the world's cutest baby seems to have a perfect solution.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 17 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: As a child, Rey is mesmerized by ballerina Leia and grows up to become one. Single dad Ben and his daughter Stella fall for Rey.) Goodnight Moon by LittleAndikin (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben's 3 year old daughter Lily won't go to sleep without listening to the library's podcast reading of Goodnight Moon. When she's in the elevator with her father & a neighbour, she recognises Rey from her voice as the person who reads to her every night.) Halloween Wishes by danceinmystorm (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo tries his best to make sure that his daughter gets to trick or treat and get candy for Halloween. Just as the night feels like a bust, their next door neighbor invites them in for a fun surprise.) Have My Everything by MotherofScavengers (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After months of convincing, teacher Rey is at last dragged by her friends to a strip club and gets gifted with a lap dance. When she's alone and waiting, she finally meets the dancer: Usually shy Ben, the single father of her favourite student. ) Hot Cocoa and Cinnamon by ABeautifulBreakdown (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When a trip the the park leads to her child wandering off Rey is left in a state of panic. Distraught and over run with emotions she hunts down her little boy only to find him standing with a strange man who upon closer inspection doesn't actually seem so strange.) i found love where it wasn’t supposed to be, right in front of me by Lutrosis (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben’s the sweetheart nanny to Rey’s twin daughters. When her new boyfriend is frustrated that he’s lower on her list of priorities than her children, he dumps her. Rey texts Ben and comes home early to find her kids tucked in, and Ben, ready with ice cream.) I need a teacher by kyoloren (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad and photographer Ben Solo sets up to take photos of fashion model Rey at her place and accidentally stumbles upon her massive dildo collection. Rey, forever sexually unsatisfied, decides that maybe she should try the real thing…) I Was Lost (For You To Find) by LadyReylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 19 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: “On Friday we received a visit from a man and his lawyer.” Mr Kenobi opened the folder on his desk. Rey instantly recognised it, her eyes widening, dread filling her. “What... what do you mean? What is going on?” She said, her tone firm. Whatever this was, if it involved her son, she needed to know the truth now. “His name is Benjamin Solo. And he claims his son was illegally put up for adoption eleven years ago without his consent.”) In Full Bloom by deedreamer (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When high school teacher Rey Kanata gets flowers with a cryptic message, she freaks out, thinking she's being hit on by one of her students. On a mission to find out who sent the flowers, she meets Ben Solo -- single dad and owner of the little florist down on Main Street. When the flowers turn out to be a delivery error, Rey knows her job's no longer at risk. But what she doesn't know is that she's about to fall head over heels for the man who keeps sending her flowers day after day because he's a goner for her, too...) In the Bleak Midwinter Came a Rey of Light by Reylo_of_light (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's luck had run out. No purse. No phone. And now her car had broken down and her toddler is crying. Lucky for her, her knight in a shining Tesla is about to pull up. Perhaps there are miracles at Christmas.) Island Holiday: A Reylo Christmas Story by Rey_KnightofRen (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Violinist Rey Niima is traveling to Hawai‘i to perform in her best friend Finn’s destination wedding the week before Christmas. She’s supposed to be playing a duet with cellist Ben Solo. Although Rey and Ben were rivals back in college, several years have passed since then and Rey discovers that Ben is now a VERY attractive and VERY eligible single dad. She starts to hope that her suitcase isn’t the only thing she’ll be bringing back with her from Hawai‘i…) Liam's Friend by Lady_of_Haven (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Neighbor Maz watches Rey’s son Liam while she works and goes to school. Maz pushes him in his pram at the park everyday at 12, which is when Ben walks his dog Kylo. Little Liam loves Kylo and Ben. One day, Rey is out with Liam at a coffee shop when he recognizes and reaches out for Ben.) Lizzy Solo by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Its bring your kids to work day and little Lizzy Solo meets Rey for the first time. "Are you the same Rey that my dad told Uncle Hux he was half in love with?") Locked Out by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single mom Rey has never accepted help from her neighbor Ben. But when she gets locked out of her apartment with a crying toddler, Ben is there. And Ben wants to continue to be there for them.) Love is Strange by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 7 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Or the one where Rey lies and tells her coworkers she has a loving husband and a son. Now the annual picnic is coming up and she needs a fake picture-perfect family. Fortunately, her friend Ben fits all the requirements.) Love's Mystery by Hartmannclan (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, 14 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo only needs one lady in his life; his daughter, Hope. So he is surprised to find himself intrigued by the masked woman who just spilled a drink down the front of his costume. Maybe this year the company Valentine's day dance won't be so boring after all? And what happens when he has to leave suddenly.....) lunch thief by thisismelodrama (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 34 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In which Rey’s son steals Ben’s daughter’s lunch and chaos ensues.) maybe we're from the same star Chapter 4 by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Living together was supposed to be easy. Another person to help with the kids, they already spent most of their free time together anyways.) My Dad Will Not Date Miss Palpatine (But Maybe He Can Marry Her) by AnneAnna (AO3 2021  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Annie Solo is perfectly happy with her Dad and brother and the last thing she needs is her dad's high school sweetheart coming to town and ruining everything. But maybe just maybe Miss Palpatine will be far better than she expected.) Neighborly by Blueyedgurl (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey and her son move into a new apartment and meets her new neighbor Ben and his cute dog.) Now I'm In It by crystanagahori (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: So Rey might have accidentally told her boss that she was bringing her loving husband and sweet two year old son to the fundraiser. She does not, in fact, have either. She does, however, have her neighbor Ben and his two year old son Noah.) Off guard by TheReadingNook (AO3 2019  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: The last thing Rey is looking for is love. As a single mom, her plate is as full as she wants it to be, but her son seems to think otherwise. And when he sets out to fill that void, they learn some interesting things about life, love, and the bonds of family and friendship.) Our Karate Kids by Theyna_Shipper (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey drops in on her daughter's karate class for Halloween, she meets Ben Solo, another single parent, and watch their children spar.) Overboard by Biekewieke (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 10 Chapters, Overboard AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Organa-Skywalker is a rich snob who hires her to clean his party barge, making her life difficult and fouls her mood. After a freak accident throws him overboard and Rey ends up saving his life. When he wakes up, it turns out he has amnesia. Rey sees it as the ultimate answer to all her prayers. She gets to take his arrogant ass down a peg or two AND she has someone to help around the house and with the kids for a while.) Please be my Daddy! by erney007 (AO3 2019  Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Raising a child while having to do such demanding job is hard. Rey, an ICU nurse, accidentally finds out that her asshole neighbor, Ben Solo, is quite good at babysitting. After plaguing her child with Elsa obsession, Obiwan starting to call him “Papa”. And Ben kind of likes it.) Raincheck by Hormonal_Trashbag (AO3 2019  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben's 7 year old son tries to ask out his teacher Miss Rey on behalf of his father.) Rey's Braids by Magdalane (AO3 2021  Rated M Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben's little girl falls in love with braided hairstyles. He watches video from the popular YouTube channel in which Rey teaches different braiding techniques. After weeks of failure, he DMs her on Instagram, desperate...) Say It With Feeling by amybeegood (AO3 2018  Rated E Complete, 18 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Meet Rey, the Maid/Escort who really needs a solid day job and Ben, the reclusive, virgin billionaire who doesn't have a clue about real life or how to hire household help.) Something About November Chapter 18 by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2019  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Ben's adopted daughter finds a box of love letters he wrote and never sent, she decides she wants him happy for Christmas. With help from her Aunt Gwen, she sends her the letters.) Something Missing by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An angst-free AU where Ben takes his kid to work and loses track of him only to find him eating contraband candy with Rey from IT.) Take Me Out To The Ball Game by empirestrikesben (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is sitting with her daughter next to Prince Ben at a baseball game. Her daughter sneaks popcorn while her mom's distracted. The video goes viral and Queen Leia invites Rey and her daughter to the palace.) that's where you take me by blessedreylo (AO3 2020  Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben asks his daughters nanny Rey to live with them during quarantine so she can help take care of her while he works remote. Lots of domestic proximity and mutual pining ensues.) The Ties That Bind by Telcontarian (AO3 2020  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Professor Ben Solo rules the classroom with an iron fist and he is not generally known for his kindness or for his understanding. However, when Rey approaches him to ask for help with her daughter, Kira, Rey finds that Ben is more gentle and caring than she originally thought.) To Play Pretend by SuchaPrettyPoison (AO3 2020  Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Single dad Ben Solo is tired of being hit on by some of the mums from his daughter's kindergarten class. He asks his friend Rey to come with him to pick up his daughter as his pretend fiancée.) To Say Good Night to You by dawninthemtn (AO3 2020  Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben is living a lonely quarantine when he gets a FaceTime call from a random toddler. He makes friends with the child, and eventually, her mother.) Violet Solo Turns 5 by hellocienne (AO3 2021  Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Little Violet Solo is Ben’s entire world. His daughter is the most precious person in his life, and he is adamant about doing anything it takes to keep his little girl smiling. Despite Violet’s obvious charm and charisma, not even one of her invited classmates went to her 5th birthday party, and she is about to get an intense meltdown that not even Ben—super dad extraordinaire—could keep under control. Enter Rey Niima—Ben’s coworker who he might or might not be in love with for the last three years. She’s Violet’s (other) favorite person in the whole wide world, and this woman will truly do anything for Ben’s precious little girl. Even if it means sending a group text to her friends who all live in different parts of the city, and inviting their children to attend a spontaneous birthday party.)

[commonalex]

Gasoline

I know. I can see it in Mrs. Stella's eyes, in the pakistani guy's eyes while he scratches the gyro instead of cutting it, even the new guy's eyes that he keeps on smiling only because they didn't tell him the gas for the bike is on him. I turn my head for one single moment and I can almost hear the eyeballs rolling on my neck. "What's on Maxim's mind right now" or "will he or will he not talk about it" and "why is Maxim even here in the first place". To be honest, Maxim's not feeling quite self-explanatory right now but he is quite sure that teeth are going to go places if the weird stares keep on popping up.

-Wanna go a bit earlier tonight? You can fill in another day, no biggie, kiddo. If you ain't feeling hundred percent, better let it go and pop up when the time's rig..

Mrs. Stella's mole, upper right from her mouth, kind of trips me out every time. I can't quite make out what she tries to say by whispering with this cigarette-ducked voice of hers. Not that I'm really invested hearing her in the first place, she looks like she could really afford a convo. The pakistani guy over there looks at me kinda frightened and I return to normal mode though. Maybe I really am freaking them out and they're right for being concerned when I'm acting like this, but…

-I'm not going home. My shift's till 3, right? It's not even midnight yet.

-That's not what I said, Maxim. Don't go just because I say it, do it for Victor if you please. You understand?

-That's a topic for another time, Mrs. Stella. Gotta deliver these as long as they're still edible.

I'm pressing the water bottle on my neck for an extra second and throw it back at the fridge. The new guy tries for some chit chat to me, like real smooth and all, just so he can ride to get the delivery himself. He says that the bottle was his, I say I'm a bit sort of fucks at the moment. I'm taking the kebabs and storm outside, straight in hell.

My arms and legs are burning up on the bike and I'm still not far for the plaza. Helmet's our of the question of course, except if you're fond of third degree burns. Only this small hint of wind that drags the sweat off my face makes the ride bearable. Up and down, down and up again, steep uphills and downhills turn my brains upside down on the road and I'm trying as hard as I can to chill until my veins are back beneath my skin. I see the nightlights showering the complexes with a cold shade of yellow and I'm fantasise about the people inside them. Like they're getting melted by the heat like me, even though they are watching tv or porn while eating a bunch of fucking junk as I can hardly swallow water at this point.

I turn the key and spend a minute to look at the name. The label's "Vann", the bell's "Vann" too, all good so far. Been here to get him this stuff a hundred times, he's nothing but a divorced loner and kind of a prick on the first floor that is always up for some conversation. I ring, the entrance opens, I storm upstairs and voilà.

   Here we go again. It's not him. Full dark hair, small nose, tall, green-brown eyes, fucked up teeth and short shorts with a wide ass white tee like a curtain. Like taking a look in the fucking mirror. And it's like the tenth delivery this night? Tenth time I see his ass, looking just like me but not really like me. Last nine times I froze and didn't have the courage to think about it out of fear and cringe, let alone not having the money of the delivery to return back at the tavern. But this went too far. If I'm returning for the tenth time only with some cheap coins and excuses Mrs. Stella will have her reason to nag about me. Like what could you say about this shit in the first place? That you saw a dude that kinda looked like you and got the chills?

-Got the card thingy with you?

I barely nod no. He exhales in frustration and asks for change from a ten. He could flip me upside down and wouldn't find enough to even buy a lollie. I nod again. Again with the exhales. He stressfully throws these dirty ass coins in my hand until I have the 4,40. I'm making my move.

-What a coincidence, right? Makes you crazy. It's like a mirror even.

He just stares at me like I just fucked his day up just by talking to him.

-Are these enough, bro?

-Is Mr. Vann gone from here? You heard where he went or something?

-Oh fuck me, you in for a chit chat man? Really? God.

What the hell.

-I only asked.

-So what? Are we like best friends and I didn't know or something?

The door slams my face with the apartment's awful smell as I'm stuck at picking up the coins that fell to the carpet and battling sweat in a hurry just so I can get back outside and stop myself from thinking about how this fucking clone knows my name.

The route back to the tavern seems stretched in my eyes. I feel the bike like it's sliding backwards and I'm trying to catch up with the lost road in front of me. I take turns in weird streets and stop to look if anything is wrong with my wheels; all good though. Could it be me? Dunno. It just looks so strange to me that each and every one that opens his door before me is that same asshole imitating me and shit. Could it be this cheap expired beer I dared to chugg? Nah, must be the heat. A little bit of inside/outside and you're seeing stars for sure. I mean my fingers keep sticking at the handles for God's sake.

I'm circling the plaza to get the sweat out of me and slip through the back door to bypass the lava coming from the gyro; in vain, of course. Even the boomers that were eating like crazy along with their toddlers on the tables outside have gone with their faces looking like a red traffic light, as the pakistani guy said to me. Just by studying his face I can see that as much as he got scared before, he has nothing but pity for me. I mean look at me. I'm nothing but panda eyes, crazy hair and arms and legs really stick-looking. All that plus the fact that I also have rivers of sweat on my neck right now. Why am I like this?

-Why are you like this?

Mrs. Stella spawns behind the fan only to fuck with me again. It must be a pleasure for her to annoy people jsut so we can see her mole dance and feel the rust in her voice to the bone marrow.

-Again with the coins, what can I do? They all want to swipe their cards now.

-Go home, kiddo, take a shower and lay down. We have much more things to worry than you. Do you think we are wanna check on you?

-Yeah man, she's right, Maxim.

Someone remind me when I deliver the next patch to make a call at the missing persons line because for hours we can't find who the fuck gave the new guy the right to get in my shit. I did has my chance with him in private though and explained him crystal clear to stay out of my shit. You know, with logical thinking and maybe threats. Mostly threats I think. Maybe at some point I might have said I have Russian mob ties, gambling on the fact that he might didn't find out that I'm really Ukrainian yet.

-I only need some air. It's like an oven in here.

I really tried to follow Mrs. Stella this time. But because of the mole and the new guy tag teaming on busying my balls I got knocked out. I could listen more enjoyably and clearly the fan spinning around above me than her and her sidekick. I only made out a small chunk of what she spilled.

-And please, take off what you're wearing. Put your own clothes again please.

-Ain't those mine too?

-No. They're Victor's.

Times like this I wish I wasn't so socially incapable to be so shy about asking again the pakistani guy's name again. It would make things so less awkward when I was trying to ask him for the next order. Maybe even less awkward if I hadn't had Mrs. Stella reaching New heights with her raspy voice while I was leaving again.

Of course this all storming out shit caught up to me. I've never seen this street in my life. Could be Mrs. Stella have her pathetic tavern on the Internet order sites to get deliveries across the fucking milky way? But now that I'm thinking about it she's answering the phone every time she gets a text message.

Google maps says 12 kilometers and I'm cursing every saint in existence. All the money that didn't get down the drain thanks to that imposter dude will get down the drain for gasoline. I'm steering and get through streets I normally wouldn't cross even with a bloody tank just to save 2 or so minutes from the route. I pick my head up and feel the breeze cuddling my neck and chest. Finally. Traffic's at an all time low and I really can step in the gas a bit but the heatwave growing arms and legs and all runs behind me. When I get off and go to the apartment building's entrance, heat already caught up to me.

I'm pausing. Name on the bell Al-Jirarddlosomething, the same at the order; and no I won't even begin to try to pronounce this thing. I ring, the entrance opens in 3 secs and enough roaches storm out for a 5 on 5 basketball game, bench included.

I'm hearing traction and voices behind the door, something like that, but I really wanna stick my ear to hear what's going on. Of course this is the time the guy opens up. Or the girl, you don't know.

-So now you found the house, vro? Now that I'm showering?

But you do know.

Same outfit minus the sweatiness, same face, same attitude, same me for up to like 90% percent. And I don't want to be that guy, but I really don't think this is the Al-Jiriarlasomethjng guy. Maybe for a prick.

-9,60.

-What about the coke?

-It's in there, ain't it?

-Take a wild guess.

-Didn't you ask for a bottle?

-Can. I asked for a can. Why would I want a bottle? Where could I put it?

Take a wild guess.

No, I'm joking. I paid for the bottle thing. It wasn't his fault. He asks me full offended why would I pay for him.

-Well, you don't find your long lost twin every day, ha ha. Maxim, and yours?

-All fucking around and saying shit, ah Maxim? Aren't you bored of this already? Good lord.

I think I need to learn how to make friends again.

Gasoline’s is nearly gone, the route I took got lost inside my head as I zig zagging between the buildings and the road is nothing but tar right now with me boiling in it. Still no cars around, though. It's only July and the neighborhood got deserted. It's now so quiet the noise from the engine hits the buildings and bounces back to my eardrums. I'm dizzy as hell right now.

I'm swimming back at the plaza. Outside there are only two tables stuck together with broke and boozed up Airbnb tourists that share fucking french fries and kebabs as two old folks take their dog out for a walk, right beside them. How miserable. Like I know the neighborhood is dead, little by little each day, but tonight you car really feel the death and rotting right up your nostrils. As if something so tragic happened that no one has the courage to address it loudly. Like they're all busy trying to catch a unicorn or something, just to keep their heads off the despair.

-You're not getting it, do you?

I don't have the energy to do this conversation again. Nothing new will be said. If I could I would just stare at Mrs. Stella until she can finally take a fucking hint that I could not care less about what she's been trying to talk about all night with me.

-Forgive me for doing the job you're paying me to do. Not gonna happen again.

-Believe it or not, but as long as you are here you're like my son to me. Even if you're Ukrainian, doesn't matter.

I'm looking sideways like a shark at the pakistani guy that plays with his phone and I want to burst laughing. Dunno exactly why. Maybe because I can't picture her talking the same thing to him. I'm not saying she's racist, I'm saying that she's really focused with me right now that is getting ridiculous. And that she is kind of racist.

-I don't get where this conversation goes. All I know is that I don't wanna do it.

-I do.

Isn't democracy great.

-Where's the new guy at?

-Gone. He wanted to bounce and I just let him go. Maybe cause that's a shit job, maybe cause you were acting like an asshole. Who knows?

-What can I say. I'm sorry.

-You are not sorry. That's exactly what you wanted.

-I don't get it.

-Oh you get it alright. Tell me, you really believe that something bad is going to happen if someone takes Victor's work? As if something bad is going to happen.

I don't want this. I don't need this.

-This is way over the line.

-What can I do to help you? People look at you and you just look back at them like they just called you a hoe. "It will pass" I though, "he's going to rest his head a bit and get right back at his feet". But nothing. It's like you enjoy all this. Being kinda like sick. Just like today, damn; you keep on popping back in there with a different color on your face.

-Ok..

-And then I get the new guy I here and you turn to a complete ass of yourself. As if no one's gets to Victor's place equals that nothing have ever happened. Do you seriously believe that? Answer me, because it seems like I can't make you go home.

-You're right.

And her mole rides a bitter smile of assurance. It was kind of spectacular. Too bad it didn't last long when she saw me catching the last order on my way out. I'm outside and still can feel her cigarette breath on my back.

I'm rolling to the gas station two blocks away and spill my last money for three drops. Worth it, though, if this means getting away from my boss's lecture again. I'm rolling my last cig waiting for a car or something to cross the boulevard. Something that indicates that there's still life and pulse here. I'm waiting until my fingers get toasted, no one. I'm turn the key and fly away. I can't just stand doing nothing; doing nothing makes me think of this kind of shit and nothing good comes out of that.

Distance? A fuck lot. Buildings get unfamiliar quite fast and I'm down this straight line for god know how much time but the gas indicator is still stuck a 1/3. Complexes seven to eight floors high, gardens, yards and a scent of sea salt coming from somewhere near. Did I really get that far south?

Τhe street has the name of an ancient guy with so many syllables even his momma had a hard time calling him, while the number of the address was at a large concrete war crime of nine floors. The fluorescent Bell had one of those weird new female names like Mirtianna or Christian the and that shit with an "astrology" sticked at the end. Of course I got ringed instantly. I getting to the elevator for the ninth floor and try to pick my words for him. I know he's gonna be there, I just need some answers. But how do you start a convo about that? Well, I'm lucky I didn't start it.

-What kind of bullshit is this you're telling her? Did she do you wrong?

I'm trying to read his face. There's not much emotion there, only a small frustration and some eagerness to shut the door right up my face again.

-Well, you could say that.

-Nonsense. You’re just being Maxim again. Spoiled and dumb Maxim. As always.

-Alright. It’s 7,90.

-She’s right, you know. You kinda into all of this. As far as it goes your way, at least. After that you just continue where you left.

-Ok. 7,90. I need to return back money, right?

-Stop wasting time trying to catch unicorns, bro. It’s fine, it’ll pass, you don’t need to follow me around all the time. I mean I’m gone.

What. Is. Happening.

-Oh I’m following you? You just keep popping up in front of me.

-That’s not how it works, Maxim. You feel alone, I get that. But that doesn’t make it ok acting like a dumbass.

-7,90.

-If there’s a problem, at least try to tackle it. Don’t wait for it to go away with your eyes closed.

-Nice to see you, Victor.

I almost tripped on my way down. I got vertigo and chills on my spine for no real reason whilst the scent of the sea from here burns my lungs. I got to get out of here. I got to go back.

With the dizziness in my head I have everything around me move and vibrate the same time the bike barely slides down the road. I can actually catch up with my eyes the buildings rotate around themselves like bolts, the balconies of the apartments wide open with the blueish light of a tv on shining like a projector outside, the yellow stars above me getting bigger and bigger until they turn to street lights. It’s like the world is running down my feet.

I’m processing the things he said to me tonight. I don’t care if he is or isn’t Victor, I only want to understand why is all this happening. I knew that it wouldn’t make much sense for everyone else at the beginning but now I have a difficult time making some of it too. The only thing I seem to achieved tonight was to turn my brains to mush and make things actually harder for me just cause I wanted to get involved to this. All night went to the trash bin because I had the curiosity fucking up my head about understanding what’s happening when in reality nothing matters to me anymore. Why? I don’t know. Because I might really love being like this after all and fucking up my head all on my own like a psycho.

I have no idea how to end all this. Maybe this isn’t as important, though. Like maybe I might be back home right now watching nickelodeon shows until I doze off. Or maybe I have some sort of something and have to go to the doctor; any doctor. Whatever it needs, I don’t care, I’ll go first thing tomorrow. If there’s a problem I’ll try to tackle it. I can’t wait for it to go way with my eyes clo-

Dunno how it happened. I can make out the branches of the trees on the plaza and a silver jeep beast blinding me with its lights. Gasoline is raining on my head I can feel the clatter of people into my ear. They shout and yell above me with their throats clogged in tar; don’t understand a word of them. I’m thirty meters at worst from the tavern and Mrs. Stella is looking me shocked with her mole chilling over the big O that she forms with her mouth. The pakistani guy drags me beside yelling “HEY HEY MAXIM HEY, ZAMEER”. I don’t know if I can feel anything belloc my neck but I’m definitely happy with myself for finding out his name again at last so I wouldn't have to hold that grudge. It’s something. Something small that maybe make me look less ridiculous, stupid and useless that I got hit by a car and going to die at the same exact spot my twin brother died, only a week later.

[nyf-archive]

“Grief” you brought this on yourself. i mean this is gonna hurt but yeah

The Magister sat in his chair, watching the streets just below for any sign of the cloaked figure that would walk along the cobblestone on his way home. He was supposed to be guiding Fin into the city; she had missed them and wanted to visit before her return to Skyhold, the fortress that Maxwell had bequeathed her with when he disbanded the Inquisition. Dorian leaned his head against the cove of the windowsill, his eyes catching onto figures here and there. He pulled out his message crystal and looked down to it.

“Amatus…it should not have taken you both this long to get home…did you stop for pastries?” He asked softly, holding the container for the crystal open. And he waited…and waited…until finally something came through on the other end. It sounded like screaming, shouting, two familiar voices breaking out in a panic over the crystal. That sent fear into his heart. It raced quickly in his chest, sent him racing up the stairs of his home until he could be on the rooftop, eyes scanning the city for any sort of disruption. 

And that’s where he found it. Fire and lightning, crystal walls formed in circle, keeping something inside and others out. He quickly called for Maeveris, and soon, the two were on their way to the scene. The woman had her companion fall behind, his life was on the line if his closes companions were in a fight. But he couldn’t stay behind. He heard the shrieks and gargling of enemies as they fell to his trusted companion’s staff and magic. But, all was still. One of the walls was melted, Maeveris using her magic to lower the shield that Fin must have made for protection.

And all he could hear was a faint ‘oh no’ from the woman, a bout of sobs following after. He rushed forwards, damning the consequences. His breath could be seen through the chill of the setting sun, the ice causing the temperature to fall a great deal as he move din. He could see Finduilas, her hair broken from it’s normal updo, bloodied and clutching a body. A familiar body with only one arm. Her hands were radiating green magic, doing her best to heal what he could see were gaping wounds all over his body.

“Max…!” His voice was anything but calm. He ran over to the two who were huddled closely together, bodies of who knows what group of zealots surrounded them, were impaled on spikes of ice or bleeding out without a care in the world to anyone else. Dorian found himself on his knees, looking over the man who was barely breathing. His chest rattled, and with his hands also on his chest, his mediocre healing magic doing it’s best to heal what had been fixed

“He…we met at the inn…just like you said…” Her voice broke as she leaned her head down and against Dorian’s shoulder, her tears streaming down her face as she focused on healing, but the green was fading in and out…she was tapping out of her magic. Dorian willed himself to heal him faster. “…they were waiting for us…waiting for all of us…but there were too many…” She sobbed softly, her ears pressed flat and low against her head. He looked up to Maeveris who gave him a look that he could understand, just by the way her lashes fluttered over her eyes. 

There was so much blood…and his wheezing only got worse. Dorian would heal him…he would do everything in his power to keep him alive, but that didn’t seem like it was going to be possible. He was pale, the life slowly draining from his body. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders and hoisted him up off the ground, that way he could rest his head against his shoulder. The magister felt his hand being taken and lifted from his body, the healing magic dissipated. He hadn’t realized he’d been crying until Maxwell leaned up and nuzzled against him. 

“Dorian…” his voice was low, throat dry, but Maxwell still did his best to speak. 

“No…don’t you say anything about you dying.” The altus shook his head not wanting this to be real. The hot tears came faster now, spilling down his cheek and onto the other’s bloodied armor. 

“…it’s too late…” he sucked in a deep breath that made Dorian’s gut wrench tightly in his abdomen. Finduilas’ own emotional sounds making his worse. “…it’s okay…you’re…both going to….to be alright…” He felt the hand grasp his tighter, seemingly the only strength he had left other than to breathe and look up at him. Dorian pulled back to look down at him, a saddened smile coming over his lips as he looked down to him. He was so broken, barely holding onto this physical form. “I love you…more than you…will ever know…” 

“Don’t you dare…don’t you even think about it…!” He sobbed as he leaned their foreheads together once more. Maxwell reached up and placed his hand against Dorian’s jaw, keeping it there until the other grasped it tightly and held it in place. “Maxwell…I love you so much…” Dorian couldn’t help it, he wanted him to be okay. He did everything in his power.

“Stay with me, amatus…” He looked down to the other, but his eyes were closed, his chest had stopped it’s heaving except for one deep exhale. “No…no no no Max…!” He didn’t respond, not a hum like he used to do when he was barely paying attention. Those eyes didn’t crack open, no smile came to his lips. He was still. He was silent. 

An anguished, emotional cry left his lips as he held the limp body in his arms, he curled around the love of his life, protecting his body from sight, from any further harm. He had gotten the bleeding to stop…but it was too late. He sat there, holding him and rocking, crying out when he could no longer hold back the sounds of pain that ripped his heart apart. Finduilas sat silently, her eyes downcast, Maeveris was holding her to her to keep her stable, but the elvhen woman had just lost the last of her family…though not blood, they had shared a deep connection, one that could not be replaced. Her hands were covered in his blood, and there was nothing else she could do. 

Dorian sat there on his knees, unable to will himself to his feet, to let Maxwell go. He was cold and limp in his arms, and he knew that this wasn’t him anymore. He was gone….and there was nothing more he could do. So he sat there, keeping him close, wishing and wanting all time to just reverse. Maybe if he had been there…maybe if he had just gone with, it would have been different. 

Maeveris had to take the man from Dorian. The lifeless form was passed on to a handful of their people take him from the scene, that way he could be properly prepared for a proper send off. The man sat still, his clothing soaked in blood, no life left in his features. The woman pulled him to his feet, and very silently, she walked both the Magister and the elvhen back to their home. They sat in the silence in each other’s company, helping one another deal with the heaviness in their hearts as they lost the most important person in their lives. 

A few days passed, and though they did not feel any better about it, the two were up and moving about, readying themselves for Max’s service. Those who could attend from their old forces did. Cullen made his way to his wife’s side, helping her through most of it that day. Cole helped him process the emotions that stirred in his head, but as the time came, they all ended up at the pyre, Max was dressed in his absolute finest attire that Dorian had hated so much, and with a few words from everyone, not a dry eye was left in the crowd. 

And Dorian was the last to say his goodbyes. He took the ring from his finger, the amulet from his neck, and held them close to his heart in one hand as a white sheet was wrapped around him. His free hand willed the fade to bring forth fire, to burn the pyre he was laid upon. Soon, it took flame, Dorian stood close, the heat upon his skin almost unbearable. But he couldn’t will himself to move away…couldn’t bear to be far from Maxwell. 

Maeveris pulled him back and away from the flames as they began to rage, a few of their apprentices willing the fire to burn brighter, hotter, to allow for a quick cremation. And he stood there, watching and waiting for the flames to die down as the pyre that once stood became ash. After the flames had vanished, the ashes were picked up, manipulated with the fade and into an urn, then sealed shut. He would be moved to his final resting place of Dorian’s family tomb. He had a small urn given to him by Mae, it would remain at home with him, just behind the portrait of the two of them in a locked safe. That way, a part of him would still be with him.

The hardest part was going through all of his possessions, deciding what he would keep and what he would give away. He wasn’t a man of earthly possessions, nor the desire or need for things. He kept his armor, kept his weapons, and the shirts he would wear to bed. He wore Maxwell’s ring around his neck, never removing his own from his finger. Dorian knew that he would not love again…Maxwell had invaded his heart like a parasite and coiled himself around it…there was no room for anyone else. 

But, the sounds of cooing from the other room told a different story. The child that they had decided to have, stood just beyond the entrance to his door. He turned around and saw the small toddler, the familiar dark hair and piercing eyes what called out to him most. Fin had been able to give him the best gift this world could offer. He and Maxwell had discussed it for a few years, the desire to start a family outweighed any risk. With the help of their greatest friend, he now had one last piece he could hold onto. 

“Luna et stellae meum…” His voice was soft as he reached out and took the walking toddler into his arms, his head resting against that of their son’s as he leaned into him, holding him tightly while giggles fell from his lips. He stroked his back softly, holding him close, a few tears sliding down his face as he kept him close. 

He had to go on…he had to get through this grief. He had to make sure that their son grew up knowing the man that was his father…the man who saved all of Thedas and one lonely altus. 

They would make it.

[megmckinney]

WE LEFT - We flew home early! Final Week Rundown.

Today is Tuesday, Jan 12 and I am writing from San Diego. I am so sad. Here is a little recap of the one week we had in Sayulita with actual friends and events! In my final post, I’ll describe how we made it across the border without our proper identification. It was an eventful day to say the least :)

Thursday, Jan 7 - Matt took Summer on a hike in the hiking backpack so I decided I wanted to a nice breakfast. I texted Noralina who met me at Miscellaneous. It’s so rare for me to text a friend in the am and hear a YES response. That is what is so nice about a small town with a slower pace of living and less focus on the hustle. People are around, down to hang out, don’t have a schedule full of plans. So sweet to have a little lady time with NO kids. I ordered an activated charcoal late - no coffee, tasted like the sweetest warm almond milk deliciousness. To eat I got the Croque Monsieur which is basically the french style of biscuits & gravy haha.

Matt went to Don Bonito to do some work during Summer’s nap. When she woke up, we just walked around the neighborhood. All of the little local mexican girls were around and loving on Summer. Picking her up, stroking her cheek, giving her little mexican cheetos. Summer loves playing with the local girls. She goes up to them and starts saying, HI, and waving. She lifts her arms up to them so they can pick her up. When they have to leave, she follows them saying Hi, Olah, or adios. It is SO cute they way she speaks and everyone gets a kick out of her when she says something.

Friday, Jan 8 - Friday in Sayulita is the Farmer’s Market. I had heard about the market but kept forgetting to go so I was set on going this morning. I looked it up online open from 10 - 2. I had to kinda figure out how to manage it with Summer’s nap. Matt ended up taking Summer for a walk and putting her down for her nap so I could enjoy the market with mis amigas. I met Kristin across the street at the park, we headed over and met Noralina there. It was amazing. Since I knew this would be my only visit at the market i got us breakfast, lunch and dinner. Calzones, lasagna, fresh raspberries and figs, quiche. It was an adorable farmers market with tons of food, products, everything. I wish we could go back again. They also sell all the good kombucha, raw milk from Terrenal.

Friday afternoon after Summer’s nap, I put her in the wagon with Rowley and strolled them to the vet. Matt was working at the Library/Book Store across the street so he helped me get Rowley in. We bought our tickets to fly home. Summer and I played at the park until Matt was done working. Headed home. For dinner we had the lasagna and calzone and then headed to the beach to kill some time before bed.

We ran into our neighbors at the complex, Ibrahim & Johanna, and played some rounds of volley ball with them. Summer basically tried to follow the ball until she found a little belgium boy with a ball that she decided to steal. lol

Saturday, Jan 9 - Matt planned an all day surf trip with a friend John who we met last Sunday at Frente. Him and his wife and two boys moved to Sayulita indefinitely from Amsterdam. They are originally from the states, though. They have a car so Matt was stoked to get to drive around, find some good waves, and get a nice session in. They drove to a few spots, all was flat, and then ended at San Pancho in the San Francisco town. Kinda bummed I never got to check out this town. I heard many good things about it. It’s the town just next to Sayulita.

Summer had a super rough morning again. This last week was really hard with her and sleeping. She’s up so early at 5:30, wants to go outside, but the first light doesn’t start to come out until around 7:10am so I basically have to endure a tantrum. This morning I purchased the Big Little Feeling’s Winning the Toddler Years module because I want to feel confident that I am parenting properly. When Summer was born, I was completely unprepared for EVERYTHING. The only thing I prepared for was labor & delivery. Sleep, food, products, everything was just up in the air and I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to know what I am doing, how to handle situations, how to speak in an effective way, etc. I don’t want her to just be my guinea pig. I want to be informed and prepared to be the best mother I can be. So I have already been enjoying these modules and seeing them work.

After nap just her and i went to the beach for a little bit. Then we walked around town, checked out some art galleries, shops, etc. For dinner we went to Rustica and got the gnocchi. Tiny portion of maybe 10 gnocchis. Expensive. On the walk home we bought some chicken at our fav chicken stand and I put her to bed early.

Sunday, Jan 10 - LAST DAY + SUNDAY FUNDAY - Another tantrum in the morning but I felt more prepared after watching the first two modules of Big Little Feelings. We got breakfast quiches at Panino’s and ate them on the beach with Matt. Then headed to our last Beach Church. I was able to connect with Kevin about the crazy instagram loop that brought me to his page so that was cool. We said bye to everyone and headed home for nap.

On the way home we got Summer a second pair of juarachas, the amazing hand made leather sandals that I am obsessed with. These are one size bigger so she can grow into them.

After nap, Summer and I went to Terrenal to turn in all the glass jars for deposits, purchased our last Kombuchas, chocolate, and snacks and then got ready for Frente Al Punto!

Frente was fun. We were the first of our group there. Summer made some friends with some other people. Turns out they are the crossfit crew of Sayulita who have been there for over 10 years. One lady is a wedding planner: @sunset.soiree so that was fun getting to hear her story.

Then Kristin, Tyler, Stella arrived. Then Misty and her fam. Then some other beach church friends. We danced, stayed out until 7:20, got churros on the way home, and passed out!! An amazing final night with friends!!

Monday, Jan 11 - our travel day. Check the final post :)

[1magazin]

Project Stella: How Nashville scored the AllianceBernstein headquarters – Nashville Business Journal

At dawn on a muggy September morning in 2016, Kim Moore floated above the rolling hills of Williamson County. Her calm hour aloft in a hot-air balloon, surveying a place she hadn’t explored before, was a stark contrast to the string of business meetings that awaited her when she touched down.

Seven months after that visit, Moore was eating in an airport restaurant with her client, publicly traded finance firm AllianceBernstein. They were looking to relocate more than 1,000 jobs, and potentially even the company’s headquarters, from their 50-year home base of Manhattan. Their list totaled 30 cities in 16 states around the country — but Nashville and Tennessee were nowhere to be found.

The competition turned cutthroat. AllianceBernstein had whittled its list to seven cities and begun flying to each one. The executives turned to Moore, who advises companies on picking sites and negotiating incentives, and asked: “What are we missing?”

Her answer: Check out Nashville. Did they ever. By one estimate, AllianceBernstein executives visited the Nashville region every four to six weeks throughout the next year. Operating under the code-name Project Stella, executives spoke with 50 or 60 people, from CEOs and school chiefs to chaplains and rabbis.

The company’s highest-ranking officials stood in line for Hattie B’s Hot Chicken, went backstage at the Franklin Theatre, dropped by the Latino-focused Plaza Mariachi retail center and hung out at the Gulch’s luxury Thompson Hotel. They drove to Murfreesboro, Gallatin, Hendersonville and Mt. Juliet, scoping out real estate, schools and housing. They pored over data on apartment rents, commute times and high-school test scores.

It was the most exhaustive site search many local officials had ever seen — outlined in a review of public records and interviews with 14 people that were involved in the search.

When it was over, Nashville seized a deal that a host of cities — such as Charlotte, a stronghold of the South’s banking industry — had vied for. Nashville won a corporate headquarters rivaled only by Nissan North America and Bridgestone Americas in size, scope and visibility. Nissan brought 1,300 jobs that had been in Los Angeles, while Bridgestone, already in Nashville, brought another 600 jobs that had been in Illinois and Indiana.

AllianceBernstein is importing 1,050 jobs from New York City. Their average annual salary is between $150,000 and $200,000, larger than the median household income in Brentwood. You will see the AllianceBernstein name in the downtown skyline, atop a newly built tower whose rent, one analyst estimates, will be roughly half what the firm pays for its 50-year-old Manhattan skyscraper.

AllianceBernstein, which has almost $540 billion of assets under management, is decamping from New York at a time when many asset managers are threatened by the rise of funds that charge lower fees because they aren’t actively managed. That surge of competition has escalated the pressure to slash costs, as CEO Seth Bernstein noted when he called Nashville “a game-changer.”

“Nashville emerged as a clear winner … by every metric we analyzed,” Bernstein said. “No other city could compete.”

Much of the revenue-generating side of AllianceBernstein will remain in the Big Apple, roles such as traders and private wealth managers. At least eight types of jobs will move to Music City, from legal to IT to finance.

Government and business officials believe the company can be a magnet to bolster a financial industry that has lost much of its profile since homegrown J.C. Bradford & Co. was acquired in 2000. The incentives package assembled for AllianceBernstein reflects that desire — including a new state law tailored to the company. Local officials also hope the arrival of AllianceBernstein’s wealth and connections can bolster the region’s venture-capital and nonprofit communities.

“It’s hard for me to overstate how important this is,” said Gov. Bill Haslam, who insisted on the new state law after visiting AllianceBernstein in New York early this year. “This opens up an entirely new type of company that would locate here.”

Enlarge

Seth Bernstein is CEO of AllianceBernstein.

First impressions

All this wasn’t even a possibility until Kim Moore spoke up. Her introduction to Williamson County was no fluke. Moore, a managing director at Newmark Knight Frank’s global corporate services division, has relocated 14 headquarters in her career.

Williamson Inc., the county’s combined economic development arm and chamber of commerce, invited Moore to its 2016 red-carpet event for site selectors. She dined with Nissan executives on the top floor of their headquarters. She ate at historic Homestead Manor and took in a private songwriters event. She enjoyed concerts at the Pilgrimage Festival, heightened by an all-access pass and VIP cabana. She met with officials from Tractor Supply Co., Mars Petcare and Ramsey Solutions, the business of noted financial guru Dave Ramsey.

Williamson Inc. invited her back in 2017, knowing she had AllianceBernstein in tow.

“We make it a point to invite site consultants who typically work office deals,” said Matt Largen, CEO of Williamson Inc., noting the county’s standing as the region’s suburban corporate office hub.

Moore, who declined to comment for this story, must have provided compelling testimony. Despite being well along in its site search, AllianceBernstein added Nashville into the mix.

Enlarge

Kim Moore is a managing director at Newmark Knight Frank.

A major shakeup happened between late April, when the company booked its trip here, and May 12, when officials made that first visit. Axa, the French insurance giant who is AllianceBernstein’s controlling shareholder, ousted the company’s CEO and installed Bernstein (no relation to the company’s founders) in the role.

“You really had one business day to make a good impression and stay on that list,” said one person involved with the site search. “We did immense research before we even got there. We probably knew more about you than you did, and it was up to you to prove us right or wrong.”

On May 12, 2017, AllianceBernstein officials touched down in Nashville. The company met with executives at two or three high-profile local companies, spent time in Davidson and Williamson counties, and flew off again. It would be the first of eight official visits to the Nashville region, plus a few other instances where one or two executives made informal trips.

“Many times, we weren’t even aware they were here,” a local official said.

On one trip, the group sat in the green room backstage at the historic Franklin Theatre, which was rescued and revitalized by the Heritage Foundation of Williamson County. The group took time to walk Main Street. Bari Watson Beasley, the foundation’s CEO, recommended they check out Leiper’s Fork for dinner.

‘Dripping with anxiety’

The company’s itinerary on a pair of November visits indicated that Nashville was coming on strong. That said, Rabbi Philip Rice wasn’t sure exactly who was on the executive coach shuttle that pulled in front of Congregation Micah around 8 a.m. He only knew Williamson Inc. had asked for the meeting at the request of a company that was looking to relocate. One person got off the bus while about eight others remained on board.

“I’ve seen this from other people in the Northeast who have relocated before: I feel like the anxiety was dripping off of him,” Rice said.

Rice showed the visitor the sanctuary and the toddlers playing at the preschool, pieces of Congregation Micah’s 40-acre campus. As they parted, Rice handed his guest a copy of the “Guide to Jewish Nashville.”

“Once he saw we were a high-functioning Jewish community, that was about it. It was only 10 or 15 minutes,” Rice said. “These are lifelong Manhattanites. It’s a big change for them.”

On Nov. 29, two senior executives stopped by Fisk University to meet with Jens Frederiksen, vice president for institutional advancement. All Frederiksen knew was that the company was in finance. He thought it would last 30 minutes. They talked for two hours. After AllianceBernstein’s formal announcement, Frederiksen received a thank-you email, raising the idea of partnerships with the private, historically black university.

“The company was intrigued by the minority talent, the kind that many companies long for. They said they worry about diversity and that talent is a big deal,” Frederiksen said. “We’re trying to serve the role of being a pipeline of diverse talent for Nashville corporations.”

The next day, on Nov. 30, the AllianceBernstein group huddled in a ground-floor conference room at One Franklin Park, a 10-story office building Pat Emery developed in Cool Springs. Invited guests included Mike Looney, superintendent of Williamson County Schools. Over lunch, Looney said he touted the district’s entrepreneurship programs.

“I suspect a good number of their employees will live in Williamson County. So they wanted to dig deep and get past superficial answers. They kept me on my toes, for sure,” Looney said. “They were focused on building relationships and making sure our expectations are rigorous — that an ‘A’ is really an ‘A.’”

State pursues ‘crown jewel’

If AllianceBernstein’s headquarters was in play, it wasn’t initially obvious to local or state officials, who understood the company wanted to set up more of an operations center. A Dec. 21 trip to AllianceBernstein’s 50-story tower in Manhattan made clear how high the stakes had become.

That’s when company officials told Bob Rolfe, commissioner of the state Department of Economic and Community Development, that this was a headquarters move.

“We became increasingly convinced that to create the right type of environment to attract the very best people, and establish the type of culture that is so important, that there needed to be senior-management people in the company taking that lead,” said Jim Gingrich, the company’s chief operating officer.

Rolfe called Haslam while waiting for his flight at LaGuardia Airport and said it was time for him to fly to New York and make a pitch himself.

“We discovered we had a lot of catching up to do,” Rolfe said.

The company also asked Tennessee to sweeten its incentives offer, Rolfe said. “We were glad to do so. This is a crown jewel.”

AllianceBernstein is receiving a $17.5 million economic development grant, making the company the fourth-largest grant recipient since Haslam took office in 2011. The company also is poised to receive Metro’s standard jobs incentive, which could total as much as $3.7 million over a seven-year span.

AllianceBernstein also could qualify for the state’s “super job tax credit,” which is worth $5,000 per year for each eligible job the company creates and maintains over a three-year stretch. Separately, Tennessee is phasing out its tax on investment income, which will make the state one of seven without taxes on any kind of income. North Carolina is not on that list.

‘Last piece of the puzzle’

In January, while in New York City at an education conference, Haslam asked if he could drop by AllianceBernstein’s headquarters. Haslam left the meeting believing he needed to do one thing to seal the deal for Nashville: enact a law that taxed financial asset management companies the same way New York and North Carolina do.

“It never got to where they said, ‘We will 100 percent come if you get that changed,’ but they pretty much nodded at us and said, ‘If you can work that out, it’ll be really good for Nashville,’” Haslam said. “We did feel like that was the last piece of the puzzle.”

After he returned, Haslam called Rep. David Hawk to his Capitol office. Haslam urged Hawk to sponsor a bill that would be crafted to apply to AllianceBernstein — a definition that didn’t apply to any existing company in the entire state. Haslam barely had to lobby, Hawk said. The bill unanimously passed both houses about a week before Tennessee made its formal economic development grant offer. Haslam signed the bill into law on April 9, and only after that did AllianceBernstein sign its incentives paperwork and plan its formal announcement.

“You could tell it was personal. He really, really wanted these folks to come to Tennessee,” Hawk said. “We hoped the legislation we put in place was the deciding factor.”

The Senate version of the bill was filed Jan. 31 — which also was the same day Nashville Mayor Megan Barry admitted to having an extramarital affair with her bodyguard. The shocking confession spurred chamber officials to reach out to corporate recruits and try to reassure them. Thirty-four days later, officials were making those same calls after Barry announced her resignation. It didn’t seem to faze AllianceBernstein.

AllianceBernstein also didn’t seem troubled by the other tension dominating Nashville: traffic. The company made its choice before the May 1 vote on a plan to raise four local taxes to help fund a mass-transit expansion — a plan voters rejected by a 2-to-1 margin. Bernstein, the CEO, heralded “much shorter commuting times for many of our employees” as one of many highlights of the company’s Nashville move.

“Part of our evaluation was not just what Tennessee and Nashville were today, but what we think Nashville would be in 10, 20, 30 years,” Gingrich said. “This is a unique environment that was very business friendly.”

All eyes on 2020

AllianceBernstein expects to begin adding jobs in Nashville this summer, perhaps three or four dozen by the end of the year. More jobs would come in 2019, to a temporary office whose location the company has not yet announced.

The real shockwaves of the company’s arrival will be felt in 2020. That is the year the tower housing the company’s headquarters will open, bearing the company name at the top. The last of the 1,050 jobs will appear before the end of 2022, Gingrich said.

Bernstein, whose son attended college locally, will move here in 2020. Other C-level executives stand to receive bonuses of $4 million to $14 million if they also make Nashville their primary residence.

For at least two weeks in a row, groups organized by the Nashville Area Chamber of Commerce have flown to New York City to meet with AllianceBernstein employees. The company also is willing to do the reverse, flying interested employees to Nashville to scout the area for themselves. The company has told the state it anticipates about 30 percent of its Nashville jobs will be filled by employees who will make the move from New York, higher than what local officials typically see in such relocations.

“This is a potential new frontier for us,” Haslam said. “We’re really strong in health care. We’re really strong in automotive. We’re really strong in logistics. This will be the first time Nashville is home to a national financial services organization. It’s the first step to what I hope can be other companies like this moving here.”

Source Article

The post Project Stella: How Nashville scored the AllianceBernstein headquarters – Nashville Business Journal appeared first on 1MAGAZIN.

Read full post at: http://www.1magazin.net/project-stella-how-nashville-scored-the-alliancebernstein-headquarters-nashville-business-journal/

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

Hi!

So, I have a few questions.

What are your Tremaine family headcanons? Apparently they basically adopted half the Isle kids?

What are your Claudine Frollo headcanons?

Who are your original characters?

You know what-what are your headcanons about all of Descendants? Like you imagine what happened after the third movie, apparently? (Yay for more VKs coming off the Isle! Yay for more VKs coming off the Isle!)

Oh! And does Chloe Trouillefou have any siblings? Also, who's her mother?

Also, in your headcanon Ginny and Claudine are full siblings, half siblings to Carlos. What's their age difference? Why didn't Gothel want Claudine or Frollo want Ginny?

Sorry, this got kind of long.

This is either going to be super long or very short because i have no idea what im doing.

So uh.

Anne is the oldest Tremaine child at 20 yo, she has a daughter, zoey, and is kind of an employee of her mother‘s bakery.

Then there‘s Ellie (Elisabeth), who would be 19 but died as a baby, presumably of causes related to her having down‘s (dont kill me i dont know how this works)

Anthony is 18, you know more about him so i don‘t need to clarify that. he‘s dating Ginny Gothel. Harriet hook is their best friend. He pretty much adopted his sister‘s daughter and his girlfriend‘s foundling.

Stella is probably the most messed up out of the bunch, they found her as a toddler on the street in conditiond that i will not describe. it was bad. she is presumably 15 - 17 years old, is the coachman (the dude from pinoccio that sold the socalled donkeys) bio daughter, and refuses to acknowledge anything that happened before she entered school (that is, the traumatic part of her life). she also absolutely flipped her crap upon seeing Felix being sold (we‘ll get to him later)

Hannah is Drizella‘s oldest daughter. she is very gothic and hates noise and fun and everything good in the world. She’s 14. honestly that‘s the only thing ive got about her.

You know dizzy, everyone knows dizzy! she‘s 13, Celia‘s girlfriend, a bubbly happy go lucky wonderful kid. i don‘t know what to say about any of these…

Their sister is Rosie, 12, an absolute angel of a human being, the most innocent baby on earth who is also (holds fingers 1cm apart) thi s far away from snapping. her bestie is laurin.

Colombe, my little ghost girl, was an albino girl that would be 11 if she hadn‘t tragically passed in an epidemic at 4 years old, she was also very sweet and gentle and scared of everything.

Lou is the family‘s troublemaker. she‘s 10 and overexcited and doesn‘t know how to keep her voice down, which drives stella and hannah up the walls.

Felix was freed from trafficking by stella (who killed the dude trying to sell him) and clinged to her which she was surprisingly okay with. he‘s pretty much Antonio madrigal but 3245-fy the trauma. he passed as a 6yo in a famine, but should‘ve been 8 now.

Emma is Ernesto de la cruz‘s 7yo kid, (who is still involved in her life!) she loves singing and admires freddie and diego greatly. she‘s a junior member of Harriet’s pirate crew.

Zoey is 5, Anne‘s daughter and was taken in by Anthony since Anne was nowhere near ready for a kid. she‘s also adorable, a junior like Emma, and generally acknowledged as the family‘s youngest. little do they know….

…That baby Francis (Frankie) should‘ve turned 2 this year after dying in the same famine as Felix

… that Nyx Hermera “Nellie“ de Vil exists, the family‘s actual youngest and roughly a year old. i just made this oc because i wathced a cinema sins video of Cruella and thougth baby cruella was gorgeous. she has he standart black and white hair, heterochromia (one eye -under the black hair- dark brown, the other -under the white hair- bright hazel) and a mild case of virtiligo which i think also coulve caused the hair color thing? so her skin is kind of light chocolate-honey colored on the “dark“ side and just plain rosy on the “bright“ side. ah that was very short

Next two questions: i can try to tell you some headcanons, but ive though about Claudine a lot and that‘s too much.

Her friends call her Hazel, as to not blow their cover

the nickname comes from her hazel eyes. she has bright brown hair and is technically 16 but suffers from psychosocial short statue and looks rather like 12.

she is a mother to the small kids on board, especially 4yo henry.

she lives on the jolly roger

she is friends with Carlos, Sammy, and Yzla (her bestie)

Yzla is also her girlfriend. she‘s gay because i really really wanted to kick frollo in the face. here you homophobic piece of crap take this ur kid is gay

uhhh

Now for the ocs… look, id love to, but it‘s late as i‘m writing this, and.. i have 70 ocs. that‘s why. that ain‘t happening. i‘ll just introduce you to them bit to bit like with Chloe.

Next, after d3. nothing special is happening except for kids getting taken off the isle, food and stuff being sent to the isle, and Harriet having a baby.

Chloe… doesn’t habe a mother? maybe she‘s a deadbeat. Maybe she died in childbirth. maybe clopin cloned himself. Who knows. siblings - she does have siblings, and a lot of them, Sorin, Tait, Alin, Relia & Mihas, but none of them have any development or character. just assume they‘re the kids that he tells Quasi‘s backstory to in the beginning of hond, okay? i have too many ocs already… but Chloe is her dads favorite since she‘s also,, uh,, a bit cray cray..

Ginny is two years older than Claudine, they‘re 18 and 16 when my main story (which is locked safely away (point to head) up here) takes place. i guess gothel just didn‘t want a baby and frollo didn‘t want an incredibly feral biting toddler?

Oh god it‘s late i should go to bed… maybe i‘ll add onto this tomorrow morning or something, but i hope this is what you meant, that was pretty vague after all. tell me if you have more specific questions!