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[thesquishypenguin]

Rainy day

Depressed!Reader is down about themselves, Sun/Moon cheer them up! 

 Warnings: Self harm - non graphic hair pulling specifically, Depression, Self loathing, potential/light passive suicidal ideation mention

Reader has no specified age or job mentioned, but they frequent the daycare and are likely Teen+ due to helping Sun/Moon/The kids. Written gender neutral with Y/N.

Requested on AO3 

You sighed deeply for what felt like the umpteenth time today. You were doodling something on a piece of paper - the Daycare normally brought your spirits up but..well, today was a bad one. Your scribblings turned as sour as your mood, crayon splintering as you applied more and more pressure until you harshly scribbled out everything you’d done in frustration. None of the kids seemed to notice - colouring was colouring, no matter if it was inside or outside the lines! And according to Sun, all pictures were beautiful! Except this one made him tilt his head quizzically, raising a finger to his unmoving mouth. “ I love your picture Y/N! Can..can you tell me what it is? ” He asked you to explain, to cover his ignorance. You frowned at him for trying to pretend. “It’s nothing.” You groused, the crinkling of paper almost broke his heart as you scrunched it up into a ball and shoved it into your pocket. “ Oh! Okay..s-sorry. ” Sun apologised and for a moment he went back to what he was doing. It was a good few minutes before he popped your thought bubble again, having been watching you stew in your own thoughts for some time. “ Youuuuu wanna help me with the puppet show? You LOVE the puppet show! ” He asked, clapping his hands together with excitement, anticipating a yes. You shook your head, no. “ Oh..please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? ” He gradually leant across the table more and more until his face was practically in yours, having spun around to look at you upside down. You pushed on his face and turned away “No. I don’t want to.”. “ ...Okay.. ” Sun sounded dejected, he removed himself from your personal space as his face tilted upright and he sat up straight. “ You can still watch though if you want! ” He hopped up from the table to go and prepare.

Sun was..even more disappointed that you hadn’t even watched the show he performed for the kids, this..wasn’t like you. You always participated! You liked being at the daycare, you had fun with the kids - and with him, it was always a good time. Something was different about today..if you smiled, it didn’t last, looked strained. Sometimes you put on this little..act, don’t think he didn’t notice! Pretending things were fine..and as the day went on, you stopped pretending. Looking..sad. Not having seen your sweet face for some time, Sun wanted nothing more than to stop everything and track you down but..the kids, he had to take care of the kids and they were oh so demanding of his attention! It was time for them to go home at least, so while activity was buzzing with goodbyes, it would soon be over. After that, you were his top and only priority. “ Sunshine? Sunbeam? Where aaaare youuuu~? ” He sang, cupping his hands to his mouth and standing on his tiptoes..but you didn’t respond. It was making him antsy, nervous. “ Haha..O-okay! Hide and seek is over! Everyone - everyone’s gone home..now… ” he squeaked and began frantically searching. Upturning anything and everything even if you couldn't possibly fit under or in it. He searched for some time, but eventually turned his attention to the play structures. He was..pretty big, but he could just about get in and out to help any kids that were stuck or scared. His face suddenly appeared from one of the tubes “ There you are! ” He cried, face doing a full twirl with elation at your reappearance. But you were bundled up in a ball, upright in the corner, quiet sobs wracking your body. Your hands were gripping your head, pulling tight fistfulls of hair in an attempt to relieve what you were feeling. You wanted to feel anything but this, anything at all.” Y…/N..? ” Sun questioned “ W-what’s wrong? I-Is it something I did? One of the kids? Did something happen? I-I’m sorry! I won’t let it happen again! ” he’d never really seen you this way before and it made him panic - what could possibly be so wrong?

Sun had kept talking to you but your crying only got worse, your form heaving with your sobs and laboured breathing. Sun’s attention momentarily turned to the mess scattered in the play area and he crawled inside. “ Oh- oh no- your p-picture. Is this what’s making you so upset? ” He asked. The art piece was in torn little pieces, scattered around. Sun was hurriedly trying to arrange it back together “ We can fix it! Put it on the wall! ” he exclaimed, seeing nothing wrong with that. “S-stop! S-stop pretending! Ju-just stop it” You wailed, catching Sun off guard. Pretending? But..he wasn’t playing a game…was he? “ P-please talk to me, I- I can’t help if you wont talk.. ” Sun played with his ruffles, picking at them and smoothing them, unsure about touching you or what was going on. “It’s stupid, it’s just - mess!” you stressed, knowing damn well you’d scribbled it all out. “ Ohhh - no it isn’t! ” Sun cooed “ I love your art! ”. You let out another anguished cry. “Y-you love everyone’s art! Stop pretending you like me!” your voice trailed off into sobbing, pulling more at your hair. “ S-sunshine! Please stop, you’re hurting yourself, look.. ” Sun worried, trying to take your hands away, but you wouldn’t let go. He whined with worry “ I-I do like everyone, but I like you especially.. ” he tilted his head, it..pained him a little to think you didn’t believe that he liked you. Didn’t he show it enough? Or..maybe just not in the right ways? You shook your head “I-I’m worthless” you bemoaned, curling tighter. “ W-worthless!? ” Sun practically shouted, now on his knees to inch closer to you. “ W-what’s going on? Where is this coming from dewdrop? Y-you’re not worthless. You’re worth everything to me! And Moon! A-and the kids! Y-you’re my best friend..Please please talk to me pretty star ”. His hand gingerly touched yours.

You removed your hands from your head to wipe at your face with a sniff, you’d sounded angry but…all he saw was sadness. Despair. “ T-that’s better! There’s your face, peekaboo! ” Sun tried to lighten things up a little. “I don’t wanna be h-here-” You’d started, but the other cut you off “ I want you here.. ” he stated solemnly, perhaps taking it more literally than you meant..but perhaps not. “I…I hate..how I look - how I feel - who-who I am” you started, the words flowing now although broken by uneven breathing, sniffles and frequent sobs. Sun was listening, sitting criss-cross now. “I’m not worth your time! Not good for anything!” you sobbed loudly again. “ But..but..I- I wouldn’t know what to do without you! All I want to do is spend time with you. ” Sun couldn’t believe what he was hearing, coming from you. “ Everyone at the daycare loves you! The kids have so much fun with you around, their little faces light up when you draw with them or play hide and seek or-or help with my puppet shows.. ”. Sun reached out tentatively, very, very slowly until the back of his finger touched your cheek, catching a tear.  “I’m a waste of space” you drawled with contempt for yourself. “ You make the room so much brighter starshine, my days are so much happier when you’re here with me. Y-you don’t have to do anything remarkable or..find a way to justify being around, I cherish your presence. Love you just how you are! You’re a little star, all on your own, without even knowing! ” Sun said clenching his fists lightly, pained for you, his voice warbled unsteady and cracking like he was going to burst into tears too. “T hings..wouldn’t be the same if ..if you weren’t you. If you weren’t here.. ” He added.

Sun didn’t expect you to practically *launch* yourself at him and resume your sobbing into his chest. “ Y/N.. ” he whimpered, quick to wrap his arms around you. “ I-it’s okay..please stay, won’t you? Let me hold you? Take care of you? I-I’ll do everything, anything! ” Sun pleaded, desperate. He wanted to make this feeling go away, forever and ever. You nodded into his ruffle and Sun scooped you up to sit you better in his lap, his face nuzzling into your shoulder. “I’m sorry-” You sniffled, trying  to apologise for the outburst. “ Shshsh -nono- it’s okay! Everyone has rainy days..I just..want you to know you’re wanted. Adored! ” Sun didn’t need your apology, it was perfectly fine to feel sad - he understood. Sometimes..sometimes people were sad for a long time - he sure was, sometimes. And..Sun understood sometimes, it didn’t ever go away. But he’d always be there with an umbrella for you. A bandaid to put on your metaphorical wound. Someone to kiss it better, even if that didn’t make it go away. “ Just promise me next time you'll come find me when you’re sad- okay? ” Sun asked, that’s all he wanted from you. “O-okay” you agreed. Your heart was still heavy but..you felt better. Glad to hear from someone all the things you were in desperate need of. That someone valued you, even if you didn’t. “ I’m here for you, always! Even on the worst days ” Sun beamed, the rays on his head poking out slightly before settling back to their resting position. His hand rubbed circles on your back, the other cupped your head in between petting, trying to soothe the sore spots. “ Sunshine..I..don’t have much time left. Will you be okay with Moon? I..think he wants to talk too.. ” he asked, a nervous tinge to his voice in case that wasn’t okay..but…he couldn’t stop Moon from coming out. The lights were about to shut off. “ I’ll be f-fine..thank you Sun.. ” you pulled back to give him a small smile, the best you could muster before hiding your face back in his neck.

It was Moon’s voice you heard next. “Stardust..you..may not feel like a star but…you are still made of it..are you not?” He posed, voice naturally quieter than Suns, but extra quiet in this case. Moon had heard all things were made of stardust..which meant you, too! The bell on his hat jingled as he moved his head, he was fine with you staying quiet. “You do so much for us..for the children. So good at helping..putting them to sleep..taking care of Sun- yes, yes..”. “But Sun is right. You are allowed to be..simply because you are. No requirement. Not here to give or provide or do. Just simply allowed to exist. Be yourself.” he hummed. You sat back to look at him, but tears were pooling in your eyes again. He was ready for them, quick to catch with a caring touch. His hand went back to your head, cool fingers running through your hair. He took a moment to play, caress gently before cupping your chin between a finger and thumb. “Your existence doesn’t need to be paid for. Though..you do give the best hugs..”. That teased a chuckle from you, albeit a half sob - this time the tears were happier. Lighter. “Your kindness..compassion..you mean so much to me.”. Though Moon rarely admitted it out loud..now was the time to put aside his issues and voice his adoration for you. He fell silent after a moment of talking, seeing your eyes grow heavy with exhaustion. He’d like nothing more than to sit here with you for the rest of the night and cradle you in his arms. He wouldn’t budge an inch while you slept. “Always twinkling away in the night sky..You might not see your light..but we do.” He stressed, booping your nose. “The sky would be so much duller without you, Starlight.”. You finally drifted off with a small smile on your lips.