#Starscream is now trying to follow the plot of this 'RP fanfiction'

[viper-commander]

Starscream lay exhausted on his berth. Finally. Finals were over. He could feel the gnawing ache of hunger but couldn’t quite muster up the energy to move.

Pitiably he called out to his roommate. “Skyfire-” Sadly there was no response.

“Hmph. Be that way.” While mulling over the futility of life and the tragic unreliability of friendship - overall ignoring how processor-numbingly bored he was-  Starscream then flopped over onto his front. Trying once again, unsuccessfully, to muster up the will to get off his fat aft and get himself a snack or something. Maybe he should see if there’s anything on the holonet.

He grasped around at the edge of the berth for his tablet and smiled at the feel of its smooth metal and screen. He pulled it out and...it wasn’t his tablet, this was a datapad. Huh. Who’s datapad was this?

Ugh.

Maybe he has a game on here or something? Perhaps even a good enough novel. Elated he turned on the screen and nearly gagged at the contents. Cheesy cringy romance. Filled with horrible horrible things like forbidden love, love triangles, and true love’s kiss.

He read the title of the first story.

Spark-Eater: His Eternal Spark & Spark-Eater: Instinct Isn’t this the cringy from that bestselling Spark-Eater series from awhile back? Something about an interspecies romance between a strange variant of spark-eater and some tall-tower Iaconite filled with utter nonsense like love triangles, blood feuds, misunderstandings, and whatnot.

Admittedly, sometimes Starscream enjoyed trashy romances like this but anything but this piece of slag. He huffed angrily as he swiped the screen. (Although that may be because the Love Interest had better chemistry with the Love Rival than the Protagonist. It’s definitely not because his ship did not sail, it definitely was not.) The next stories weren’t any better, in fact they were probably worse and to be honest he almost regretted it. The first one almost made him hurl the datapad against the wall.

“Possessive War-General Pampers His Cute & Delicate Spark-Mate.”

“What to Do When the Fallen One Loves Me?“

WHAT IS THIS SLAGGOTRY? WHY ARE ALL OF THESE TRASHY ROMANCES?

Starscream gagged before swiping to see what the next story was. Too curious at this point to realize that his standards were starting to ‘temporarily’ being worn down.

“The Ruler of Cybertron Always Thinks I Love Him.”

“Oh, Allspark!”

“The Short Story of Whitewing.”

Back. Into the pile. Hopefully never to be seen again. If he ever gets the motivation to move then these are the first things to be burned. Call it a lab accident. It’s for the betterment of Cybertron. However Starscream choked when he read the title of the next story title, temporarily offlining the datapad.

“Civil War: A Prime’s Love for An Intergalactic Warlord.”

What the pit?

Curiosity burned in his chest. The pure absurdity of the title was shocking. It was embarrassing and yet...it was an enemies to lovers ship. His faceplates burned from second-hand embarrassment. Yet the sheer shamelessness of the title made him curious. It was tempting. Unintentionally he turned it on, the device flickered online.

“In a devastating war waged for several millenia, the Autocons raged a battle against the evil forces of the Deceptibots.”

Starscream had barely read the first sentence when the world turned blue. Well, it didn’t exactly turn blue but it felt like it did. Blue-white spirals of light exploded, lighting everything up in a wash of blue light as it devoured everything that was there. He held tight to the promisingly entertaining romance.

It was confusing, light and color and sound danced in and out of his senses. Time and space became indistinguishable. When the dancing colors finally passed he looked around. It took a moment for his optics to adjust and very nearly rolled off his berth. He felt a gun pointed at his head. He could feel the nozzle pointed insistently at his helm. It took him a moment to swallow. This really didn’t look like his apartment. It looked almost like the Vosnian military headquarters but with grounders. Lots and lots of grounders. With depressingly sad paint jobs and big weapons. Really big weapons.

WHEN THE FRAG DID HE GET KIDNAPPED? Starscream took a moment to internally panic.

What to do. What to do? Internally he was panicking. How do you get crazy mechs like these ones to back off?

Red and blue optics stared at him. Some were confused but most were focused on the berth that magically appeared while others stared at the datapad clenched tightly  in his servos. Warily he tightened looked up.

“WHERE THE FRAG AM I?!”

The landscape was strange. It was open and wide in a way that Cybertron had never been. Everything from the ground to the very air was foreign in a way that screamed that this was another planet. Distantly Starscream noticed that his berth was located in the epicenter of a crater.

From above, several red and blue optics peered down, symbols of what was probably some sort of interstellar gang stamped on their chestplates or shoulders.

One of the blue-eyed mechs started to approach him. Stepping down into the crater with online weaponry. Online. Frag.

Starscream skittered back on the berth but he held tight to the berth. There was a circuit overloader stashed in a secret compartment here, the question was if Starscream could reach it fast enough. Somehow, the mech holding the online firearm at his head almost looked surprised.

Slag. Slag. Where the slag is he? What are they?

Then the mechs started hooting strange noises at each other, pointing digits at him before making the strangest gestures. Great, so he was somehow on an uncivilized planet surrounded by barbarians.

He could almost imagine Primus was laughing at him. He always wanted to be an explorer and see other planets, civilizations, well now he just got his wish.

~

meanwhile

~

“Starscream!?”

“Wheeljack…what did you do!?”

"Why is there a baby Scream here?”