#Stank-girl-dork

[woltourney]

ROUND 1 / SIDE B / POLL 12

Lopu Rhaavuna (@mages-ballad) v. Big-Chungus Funny Icarus (@swageus-harmonia)

Lopu Rhaavuna:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Lopu Rhaavuna, she/her

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. IC-ly her primary jobs are Bard and Dancer. Secondary to that, Sage and Reaper.

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Mateus [Crystal]

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. I took inspiration for Lopu's character and story from the mahou shoujo genre, with the core elements being that a seemingly-average girl discovers she actually has the capability for magical powers, and uses those to help spread hope and save others. Love is a major theme for Lopu, and its what gives her the strength and motivation to do what she does. Lopu grew up in Gridania, where she left and became the Warrior of Light at age 25. She's always had a deep feeling of wanderlust within her, and the events of the MSQ are what kickstart her into being able to get out and see the world. She's lived her life knowing there had to eventually be more out there for her, and her assumptions are proven right as she takes up the title of the WoL and makes herself known. She's no doubt had her ups and downs, but never once has she regret her journey. Others may call her a hero; but even after all this time she still considers herself just an adventurer that likes to help people. In her free time, Lopu has a few hobbies she likes to indulge in! She's very big on cooking and sharing the food she makes, gardening and growing her own ingredients, hunting, training, running Treasure Maps, and of course hanging out with the Scions. Outside of saving the universe, she's a very sweet and humble woman.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "Ah? Um…" Lopu takes a lock of her thick hair to twirl around and play with while she ponders the question. "I think I should win because… It would make me really happy if I did?" She laughs a little, giving a flash of fangs. "Truthfully, I can't really think of a good reason! I guess there is the fact I saved the universe, but I wouldn't want people to feel obliged to put me on a pedestal just for that." "Maybe… If I win, I'll bake a huge celebratory cake to share with everyone! That works, right? People tend to be more motivated to vote if there's food involved, yes?"

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. AS HER CREATOR I SAY VOTE FOR LOPU BECAUSE SHE IS SO CUTE AND HUGGABLE AND SILLYGIRL-CORE AND HAS THICK THIGHS AND I LIKE HER A LOT AND ALSO IF SHE WINS I WILL ACTUALLY DO A GPOSE OF HER AND THE CAKE AND EVERYONE CAN HAVE SOME!!!!! VOTE FOR LOPU #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP

Icarus:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. technically his name is Icarus but his name in critically acclaimed mmorpg final fantasy xiv is Big-Chungus Funny so do whatever you want with that information (he/they pronouns also)

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Mr Chungus is a whole ass Viera

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. His class is whatever I damn well feel like playing with, but for an actual conk creet answer he mains gunbreaker reaper and black mage

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. im on zalera crystal data centre :)

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Icarus is just Some Guy really, homeboy just woke up in fuckin uldah one day and lemme tell ya it went downhill from there lmao. He is also cursed with Not Remembering Anything(which is my excuse for not knowing some shit abt the story because my dumb ass skipped cutscenes OMEGALUL), dude got REALLY fucked up in shadowbringers with the whole light poisoning thing and just. lost memories of shit pre-shb. Also his dork ass horns and wings were bc of the whole shb thing dont worry abt it. Anyways now he just fuckin sits his bitch ass around his stank aah island smoking weed that makes you evil idk

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. uhhh uhhh fuckin uuh #BIGCHUNGUSSWEEP

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. man my wol was just a shitpost character and i got too attached i had to pull all this info out my ass :/

[white--moon]

For a hot second he thinks Renji is sliding or falling, and he's about to laugh his ass off when the dumbass ends up on the floor. But that's not at all what's happening and as soon as he catches sight of Ichigo he perks up and grins, all thoughts of Renji gone. "Oh. Ru-ru–" He says it with a little extra stank, but he's not even sure she's hanging around close enough to notice. "-wanted to be here early to pre-game, like a dork." He half expects to be punched in the kidney or something, so he tenses up a little, kind of paranoidly looking around. "Why'd you wanna beat me?"

He realizes Ichigo's looking passed him and turns his attention that way, re-realizing that girl is really close. He side steps a little, bumping up against Ichigo. He switches his drink to his other hand and snakes his arm around Ichigo's middle, then lifts the bottle. "A gift." It's cheap bourbon that he wouldn't have bothered to buy, but since it was handed to him, he's happy to drink it. "Not the worst. Wanna try?"

white–moon​:

He gets to the party earlier than he would necessarily like to be, but since he let Renji and Rukia talk him into going, that’s who he’s there with and apparently they don’t like to be fashionably late or whatever. They tried to call it pre-gaming, but gave him a dirty look when he said you can’t pre-game for a party at the party. The bribe to get him to quit complaining and loosen up, as Rukia put it, was an unopened bottle of dark liquor she knew he wouldn’t turn down.

He hasn’t put it down since opening it, partly because he doesn’t trust the idiots that show up to parties like this and all the other things that sometimes end up happening. But that means he’s drinking it faster than he probably needs to. Who needs a glass when you’re not sharing?

He finds himself in a room full of people, only a few of whom he actually knows, mid-random conversation around the music with a few of those people, thinking Renji’s a lot more attractive than he’s noticed. Well. Not that he hadn’t noticed before, more like he’s never let himself pay attention. Maybe he has a thing for red heads. He’s half a mind to see if Rukia minds letting him borrow Renji once in a while, except when he turns to ask, he realizes it’s not her standing beside him. It’s another girl and she’s definitely on some shit and standing just a little too close for someone he’s not familiar with, but he’s not sober enough to know if that’s her fault or his.

The door opens as more people show up. The music is loud enough he can really only tell because the acoustics change. He looks in that direction but only catches sight of Car Guy. An arm curls around his shoulders and he whips around quick enough to make the room spin. It’s Renji and the cut off he’s wearing leaves a lot of warm skin against the back of Shiro’s neck and at his side. “Fuckin’ hell.” Which is apparently said aloud and not in his head, because Renji laughs but assures him Ichigo will be there, which means he’s not a mind reader. He wants to ask when, but that sounds desperate. Instead he goes with, “Yeah, ‘cause I’m irres- Irr- Hm.” And gives up when the word wont play well with the alcohol in him.

Ichigo makes almost an entire circuit around the house before he finds Shiro. And when he does find him, he’s looking cramped between bodies with Renji leaning on him. It’s tempting to hang back and see what happens first, Shiro realizing how tightly packed in he is or whether multiple people end up groping him, except Shiro looks like he’s been here a while and as if he’s been drinking longer, so Ichigo decides not to hold his breath. 

And then Shuren catches up and hands him a drink, which he takes and immediately sets down, because he isn’t about to put it in his mouth. He’s strongly suspecting the guy is hanging out more for the entertainment value than any real desire to be friendly. But Ichigo’s focus is elsewhere anyway. 

He steps close enough to flatten a hand to Renji’s chest and ward him off mostly good-naturedly. Not even because he’s worried about Renji, so much as Ichigo would like to think he’s smart enough not to close Shiro in on his last free side, and he doesn’t feel like waiting to be noticed. He steps into Renji’s spot, vaguely curious at the urge he feels to touch Shiro just because everyone else is, but he doesn’t question it. There’s a soft looking patch of skin at Shiro’s waist where his shirt has ridden up, and Ichigo runs his fingers along it. He keeps his first drink off to the side, so it can’t get knocked on them. “So much for hoping I beat you here.”

Although that might be wrong, he remembers the last time he thought Shiro was too drunk to walk. He’d still kicked Ichigo around his living room. 

Ichigo tilts his head to shoot an amused glance at the girl to Shiro’s other side, who’s not even slightly put off all her touching, and then down to Shiro’s bottle. He nods toward it. “What are you drinking?”

[jaskierswolf]

Wolfie darling.... Doctor Geralt and mayhaps a girl he knocked up or something, but they keep making eyes at each other, and jaskier turn up alone one day (yes this is literally the summary you gave before but i crave it so i will send it becasue aahh) and there is such tension but Geralt doesn't want to break up Jaskiers presumed relationship, and Geralt is their doctor, and Jaskier is technically not the patient so they end up baning against the wall, please and than you! <333

Me: I will keep prompts short.

Also me: Here have 1.6k

This is based off the song 'Bad Idea' from Waitress

CW: pregnancy, cheating (geraskier both have partners), sexual content but not explicit.

_______

Bad Idea

Jaskier wiggled in his seat as he sat next to Priscilla in the waiting room. She was six months pregnant with his child after a one night stand that had gone wrong, and because he was a good guy they’d decided to give a relationship a go. His mother had been pressuring him to propose to Pris every time they spoke, which would have been a grand idea if they were in any way suited to each other. But they weren’t. Pris wasn’t even sure she wanted the kid but it was too late to turn back and Jaskier certainly wasn’t ready to be a father.

If he were being completely honest with himself then he’d admit that the only reason he even came to these appointments was because of the very hot Doctor Rivia.

Jaskier always found a way to stay after the appointment, which really had started out innocently but ended up with Jaskier being pressed against the wall, Geralt’s lips crashing into his.

One kiss.

That’s all it was.

And Geralt had practically thrown him out the room after. It was obviously a mistake that wouldn’t be repeated, so why was he so nervous? His leg bounced and he couldn’t sit still, a rush of energy making his hands shake and the world seemed all too loud and too bright around him.

The rest of the waiting room sat in silence between coughing or the odd sound of a child talking to their parent. The whole place stank of cleaning products and old people… so it was just even more humiliating that Jaskier was fighting to keep his dick under control.

Really he couldn’t be blamed, not when Geralt looked like that. He was tall, muscular, smart and yet such a fucking dork; just Jaskier’s type. Oh and let’s not forget unobtainable. They were always unobtainable and Geralt was no exception. He was happily married to a beautiful successful businesswoman and had the sweetest little daughter, or at least that’s what Jaskier assumed judging by the photographs in Geralt’s room.

Fuck.

Why hadn’t they been called yet?

“Jask?” Pris asked, startling him from his inner turmoil with a light touch to his arm. “I need to go to the bathroom. If I get called, can you let Doctor Rivia know?”

Jaskier nodded, chewing on his lips as he tapped out a rhythm on his leg. “Of course, dearest.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He’d been counting on Pris being there as a barrier between them, and of course as soon as she was out of sight the intercom pinged calling Priscilla to Doctor Rivia’s room. He didn’t even have time to panic as his head started to spin and all the blood rushed from his face. Jaskier swallowed and stumbled to his feet, walking in a daze towards Geralt’s room.

It was as if there was no oxygen left in the hospital, and he could swear he could feel the heat of everyone’s gaze burning into the back of his neck. His mind kept drifting back to the few blissful seconds of kissing Geralt, a passionate, desperate collision of lips, tongues and teeth. The memory seared into his brain, into the very cells of his body. If he lived for a hundred years he would never forget that kiss. He just couldn’t help himself. Geralt was a flame and he was the moth, the compass pointing to Geralt’s north.

Iron filings pulled towards the magnet…

“Nah, that’s shit,” Jaskier muttered to himself as he ran his fingers through his hair before taking a deep breath and knocking on Geralt’s door.

A shiver went down his spine as he heard Geralt’s gruff, incredibly sexy voice say “Come in.”

God, what Jaskier wouldn’t do to have that voice whispering all sorts of dirty things into his ear…

He licked his lips as he pushed open the door, fighting the blush that was no doubt painting his face as he met Geralt’s eyes. The doctor frowned as he raised an eyebrow at Jaskier, then smirked, cocking his head as he spoke.

“Priscilla, welcome, take a seat.”

Jaskier snorted, flopping down onto the table. “Oh haha, very funny Geralt- Doctor Rivia.”

“Geralt is fine.”

“Geralt,” Jaskier mumbled, unable to take his eyes off of Geralt, golden eyes dark as they dropped to Jaskier’s lips.

It felt as if they were bonded together, an invisible tie from Jaskier’s soul to Geralt’s, pulling them together. Jaskier’s heart was racing in his chest and he fell into Geralt’s arms before he’d even realised he was moving. Their lips pressed together for one amazing, mind-boggling second, Geralt’s hands cupping his face and holding him close. He tasted like sweet, delicious coffee and smelled like heaven; addictive, sinful… so very tempting.

A demon sent to claim Jaskier’s soul.

And then they stumbled backwards, both plastered against the wall on opposite sides of the room.

“Jaskier,” Geralt groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s a bad idea; me and you.”

With a nod, Jaskier bit his lip, hands tugging at his hair and making a complete mess of it. “I know, I totally agree.”

His heart didn’t stop racing and he had to grip onto the wall behind him to stop himself from launching back across the room. Geralt seemed to be having a similar struggle as their eyes met again, his face was flushed and there was barely a speck of gold left in his gorgeous, haunting eyes.

“It’s a bad idea, me and you,” he repeated, his fingers shifting from his nose to press against his forehead but neither of them could keep their eyes off each other for long.

Jaskier’s eyes flicked to the door where Priscilla could enter at any moment, licking his lips as he turned back to Geralt. He wanted to move closer but couldn’t leave the wall for his own sanity, so he ended up circling the room opposite Geralt. Both drawn to each other, neither allowing themself to give in.

“You have a wife,” Jaskier pointed out, as if he didn’t already know that.

“You have Priscilla,” Geralt agreed, and both of them spared another glance to the door.

The unlocked door…

Gold eyes met blue and then they both lunged for the door, dancing around each other in the middle of the room so they wouldn’t touch. The game would be over if they got too close, unable to separate with the torch that burned bright between them, melding their hearts and souls together.

Jaskier bit his lip, locking the door before turning to face Geralt once more, his back pressed against the hard wood behind him. “You’re her doctor,” he mumbled weakly but the protests were dying with every breath.

This was a losing battle and they both knew it.

“You’ve got a baby coming.”

There was a beat of silence where they both just stared deep into each other's eyes, searching for answers to unasked questions. Jaskier couldn’t seem to calm his breathing and his heart was beating so fast that he thought it might fly out of his chest. His hands were shaking in the effort to keep them from reaching out to Geralt. He wasn’t sure what it was about the doctor but he needed Geralt more than he needed the oxygen in the room.

“It’s a bad idea…” Jaskier muttered one last time, before his lips pulled into a smirk and he winked at Geralt. “Let’s just keep kissing until we come to?”

Geralt growled and they met in the centre of the room, Jaskier half kneeling on the examination table, his hands splayed on Geralt’s chest as the doctor held his face with a tenderness that surprised him. Their lips ghosted together, a breath away from touching, but before they could kiss Geralt pressed their foreheads together.

“Let's face it, making mistakes like this, it’ll just make it worse.”

“And it’s already pretty bad,” Jaskier sighed, his fingers gripping Geralt’s white coat tightly. “Just hold me close whilst we think this through?”

“Don’t have much time,” Geralt muttered. “Where’s Pris?”

“Bathroom.”

“Hmm.”

It was torturous, being so close to Geralt but not having what he truly desired, which was, to be blunt about it, to get fucked on the damn table before Pris could come back and find them…

But they really didn’t have much time.

Did they?

Jaskier’s phone buzzed in his pocket and he reluctantly pulled it out, unlocking the screen with his other hand still holding onto Geralt lest he disappear from Jaskier’s life forever.

I can’t stay in the bathroom forever, be quick about it. - P x

A laugh bubbled up and escaped his lips. She knew. The fucking bastard, he was going to buy her the most lavish present he could after this. He fucking loved her, just not in the way his darling mother wished.

Geralt looked at him, eyebrows raised as he cocked his head, his hands still pressed against Jaskier’s back. So Jaskier just grinned and showed Geralt the text.

“Fuck,” Geralt groaned, and then the dam broke.

Their lips met in a desperate kiss, both of them tearing and pulling at their trousers in a rush to get closer. It was clumsy and messy and possibly the hottest fuck Jaskier had ever had in his life, and when they were sat together after, panting as they tried to catch their breaths, Jaskier grinned dopily at Geralt.

“Geralt?”

The doctor’s fingers froze on the button of his trousers and his golden eyes flashed up to meet Jaskier’s gaze, looking flushed and completely indecent despite his best efforts. “Hmm?”

“It was a pretty good bad idea, wasn’t it though?”

Geralt chuckled, rolling his eyes as he pressed a kiss to Jaskier’s hair. The electricity between them hadn’t died down in the slightest and Jaskier was feeling completely high off the thrill and adrenaline of the affair. Geralt hummed as Jaskier pulled him into one last kiss before Priscilla knocked on the door.

A pretty good bad idea indeed.

[quxntumvandyne]

MCU characters as high schoolers

this is a long one my friends but worth itttt

tony stark: the awkward smart kid who’s parents are rich but refuses to look rich (initially), SUPER cocky, president of the computer science club, loves nothing more than to make witty jokes and piss of teachers, neighbors (maybe more) with pepper potts, friends w/ clint, rhodey and bruce

steve rogers: classic American boy, best freshman to senior year change, understands no pop culture references ever, acts way older than he is and captain of the baseball team, best friends with bucky, sam, thor and t’challa

thor odinson: MOST SPIRITED, aggravating twin brother, LGBT icon, anyone in their right mind is attracted to him, has this strange obsession with rabbits, puts everyone before himself, single as a pringle, friends w/ rocket, groot, steve, strange, quill and drax (popular man)

bruce banner: the nerdiest nerd their ever was, hot in the dad way, shorty, has serious anger issues, talks to his inventions/computers more than people, quiet but super loud and full of fun ideas around close friends, friends w/ tony, clint and vision (sorta dating natasha; it’s complicated)

clint barton: nobody knows much about him, keeps to himself, always has his headphones in everywhere he goes, way too good at archery and golf, was in the same foster home growing up as natasha, doesn't own any other color than black, friends w/ tony, bruce, natasha, vision and t’challa

natasha romanoff: lesbian icon, everyone assumes she’s “one of the guys” but really holds her own in a special way, basically clint’s sister from another mister, has a complicated relationship with bruce banner, everyone is terrified of her but she’s really just a cinnamon roll at heart, besties with wanda, okoye, & steve, sam and shuri

james “rhodey” rhodes: track and field KING, a true cinnamon roll, wants to go into the military, loves nothing more than to do stupid shit with and make fun of tony “stank”, goody two shoes at school, friends w/ tony (obvi), sam, and pepper, and nebula

james “bucky” barnes: GAY ICON, been friends with steve rogers since birth but they’re together as fuck, an expert in history and math, lost his left arm in a car accident as a young boy, is closed off unless he’s with friends which are sam, rocket & t’challa and shuri

sam wilson: steve’s right-hand man, puts his whole heart into anything and everything, always has his friends backs, can be found with his friends or at home with his mama and younger siblings and friends with bucky, steve & natasha

loki odinson:  troublemaker (but not in a funny way), loves to make a scene with everyone watching, basically needs all attention at all times. total asexual, the oddball of the odinson family, and secretly an amazing piano player; frienemies with strange and scott lang

stephen strange: cocky smart boy who recently was in a bad accident, which put his life on the line; he came back still cocky, but more grateful for life, dreams of being a doctor, not much of a flirter but wouldn’t mind being in a relationship, “friends” with loki, tony and thor

peter quill: the boy who dresses like he lives in the ’80s, lives with his crazy uncle, acts tough but cares a lot about others, plays football and baseball and favorite subject is lunch, friends with drax, rocket, groot, thor and m’baku

gamora: the mysterious bad girl of the class, just transferred to shield high with her stepsister nebula, nobody messes with her, has good instincts and amazing at a plethora of sports, friends with nat, okoye, wanda and nebula

drax: the innocent big teddy bear how can’t always control what comes out of his mouth but usually means well, is kinda like a puppy and friends with quill, rocket, groot, and thor

nebula: the freakishly intense smartmouth who always sits at the back of the classroom and has a fake eye (nobody knows why) doesn't have many friends other than rhodey, rocket and kinda gamora? they’re working on it

rocket: really short guy (kinda hairy but won’t talk about it) who’s friends with an enormous basketball player, always tinkering in class and makes gadgets that he calls bombs but nobody knows if he is serious, friends with quill, drax, groot, nebula and thor

groot: a monumental dork of a human, everyone loves him, super sweet and always willing to help people but can be vicious when it comes to sports or anything competitive, will always stand up for the little guy and is friends with rocket, thor, quill, and drax

t’challa: school president of shield high and captain of the debate team, very serious guy but can get down at parties, grew up with okoye, has a younger sister who is a freshman genius, plays on the football team and his father is mayor of the city, friends with okoye, m’baku, steve and clint

okoye: best friends with t’challa, is very big into sports and wants to go to the olympics, loves coffee, can be very serious but loves to make fun of t’challa every chance she gets and is friends with t’challa, shuri, m’baku, wanda, natasha and gamora

shuri: genius kid!!! and the queen of meme referencing, she is quite the goofball and loves to mess with her big brother, has recently become close with bucky and loves children, is friends with bucky, okoye, m’baku, wanda and natasha

m’baku: grew up not getting along with t’challa but became best friends through okoye, is the life of the party and is a vegetarian, loves to honor his ancestors and feels very close with his family, friends with okoye, t’challa, shuri and quill

wanda maximoff: new girl from a small country in europe who’s twin brother died in an accident, quiet but fiesty and has quite the sense of humor, very passionate about women’s rights and equality and besties with wanda, natasha, shuri, okoye, gamora and vision

vision: british boy who is always the voice of reason in the group and can make a mean paprikash, just generally liked by everyone and is very innocent but very knowledgable, friends with wanda and clint barton

scott lang: a huge dork who always gets himself into trouble whether he’s trying or not, his best friend luis and him are always attached at the hip and finds himself connecting with wildlife and nature more than with people sometimes but is always the life of the party

pepper potts: sweet little angel who really keeps to herself but finds herself falling for the big hotshot of the school and he falls for her right back, she’s secretly a force to be reckoned with and is really allergic to strawberries

carol danvers: can come off as really serious but can also be a goofball, wants to go into the air force after high school and loves 90′s clothes and music, her best friend monica and her do everything together and has a huge crush on valkyrie 

(and i didn’t include peter parker because he’s already in high school? and the rest are adults? don’t come for me) btw somebody draw this for me i would cryyyy and i’ve been working on this for months in my drafts because i keeping forgetting its here but i finished!!!!!!!!!!

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Rotten Spaghetti Noodles and a Stranger Things Marathon (Izuku Midoriya x Reader)

Not gonna lie lol Bob’s Burgers inspired me with this one XD

Summary: Poor Deku is forced into a wild goose chase with Reader-chan after a prank goes horribly wrong on the most volatile classmate in 1-A...

Featuring: Precious Cinnamon Roll!! 

You can find this story here too on ao3!: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17545592/chapters/41570912

You sighed heavily as you sat on the couch of the common room, staring at the girls who were just chatting frivolously with each other as per usual. At first you thought about going over to join in on their conversation, but they talked about the most boring topics sometimes that you decided to just sit and be bored by yourself.

Kaminari was pretty much your partner-in-crime when it came to doing fun things but he was hanging with Kirishima, Sero and Bakugou. Typical boys. But the more you thought about it, the more you realized you probably should have gone with him, even though Bakugou wasn’t crazy about the fact that you were friends with ‘Deku’. Well, that was understatement, he didn’t like that at all, he never had been in fact. Truth was, you grew up alongside him and Izuku, but you met Bakugou first, only to get closer to Izuku and remained his only friend even when Bakugou picked on him and always threw smart-ass comments his way which he hated. You assumed it was jealousy, but that was just your pride talking.

However, the more you thought about Bakugou, the more Izuku started popping up in your mind. Making you sigh in content, smiling fondly at the thought of the sweet, green-haired dork. How you adored him, he was almost too pure for this world to the point where it was almost REALLY annoying because you had a mischievous streak he often fretted over.

“Oh Izuku… you make me wish I was a better person.” You said quietly as you blushed a little bit, looking around and making sure no one could hear you going into ‘lovey-dovey’ mode. So to distract yourself, you finally got up off your ass and headed into the kitchen, maybe eating something could take away some of the boredom.

But you didn’t expect to see Izuku passing by through there, and he perked up upon seeing you. “(Y/N), Hey!” He quickly greeted you with that adorable smile that easily lit up your day every time you saw it, hell it practically sent you in one of your dazes as you smiled shyly and waved. “Hey Izuku…”

“Are you okay?” He asked you, concerned when he saw how ‘out of it’ you appeared, and you blushed warmly as you tried to downplay it.

“Ah yeah! Totally… hehe, I’m just hungry so I’m gonna… get something to eat that’s uh… why I came in here!” You stammered and laughed nervously, quickly opening the refrigerator as if to emphasize your point, even though Izuku looked a little confused by your odd behavior. He smiled at you anyway though, thinking you were cute.

But he flinched when you gasped suddenly, and loudly at the refrigerator.

“Oh Sweet mother of All-Might…” You said in pure awe as you stared wide-eyed at one of the containers you found in one of the deeper parts of the fridge. Carefully picking it up, you brought it out and placed it on the table, but the old, gloppy contents with some black spots and furry looking specks that stained its corners disgusted your friend a little bit.

“Wha… what in the world is that…?” Izuku nervously asked, but at that moment he realized he probably shouldn’t have asked that.

“It’s spaghetti! Remember a month ago when Kaminari suggested that we try foreign food for dinner, so we went with Italian and we decided to save some of the leftovers because it was so good that night?” You reminded him and the memory instantly hit him once it came back to him. “Oh right! I remember that… that was a month ago…?” Izuku asked, making a face. There’s no way that spaghetti could still be good at all if it’s a month old.

Going against your better judgment, you opened it up and the pungent stank quickly hit your nose as you turned away with a small gag, seeing Izuku cover his nose once the smell got to him too. Despite your disgust, you were extremely amused too. “Ohoho WOW… we totally forgot all about this because this stinks to high-heaven… it’s beautiful…” You snickered, and Izuku saw wheels turning in your head…

“You know what we gotta do with this right?”

“Throw it away?”

“Nope~! We gotta drop this on someone outside a window! We might NEVER get another chance like this! When you have rotten spaghetti noodles, you HAVE to drop it on someone. I mean you can’t NOT use it for that kind of thing. We have an opportunity of a lifetime…!” You explained as if it were the simplest idea in the world, but such a terrible idea made Izuku tremble and look panicked. That was practically a death sentence.

“W-What?! Y-You can’t be serious…! A-Are… Are you… are you crazy?!” He asked you, whisper-yelling as he looked around very nervously to make sure that nobody was around to hear this.

“Haha I’m totally off my rocker dude… you know this… now c’mon… it’s not like we’ll get caught. As soon as it hits somebody we’ll run like hell! It’s so easy!” You giggled almost like a mad-woman at the thought, and Izuku just shook even more with a terrified whimper. It wasn’t in his nature to pull pranks like that, and he didn’t really like anyone being mad at him.

“I-I don’t know… i-it sounds like a really bad idea… I mean, for one it’s really mean… and second, if we hit the wrong person, this could lead to some seriously bad consequences… it just… it’s a bad idea… in fact, it’s a horrible idea… we can’t do that…” Izuku thought outloud, hoping that somehow he could talk you out of this. He thought about how it could all go wrong, and who they could end up hitting. Classmates like Kaminari, Kirishima, Sero, Ashido, Tsuyu and Uraraka might be a little more forgiving if they got spaghetti’d. The rest like Iida, Yaoyorozu and Tokoyami would be pissed but not hold a serious grudge, and then there was Todoroki and Bakugou. The worst people to prank…

Todoroki would definitely be pissed about it, but maybe he’d be forgiving if he explained it to him enough. Bakugou on the other hand… would never, ever forgive that.

Izuku shuddered at the mere thought.

“Izuku… I can’t pass up this opportunity… besides, I’m not gonna hit anyone like Todoroki if that’s what you’re worried about. I like the guy. If I’m lucky I’ll hit Kaminari or Iida. I’d love to see the looks on their faces.” You grinned widely and laughed somewhat wickedly as you carried the container, spinning around ever so slightly, much to Izuku’s discomfort.

He couldn’t find it in him to say no to you though. The truth was Izuku would follow you wherever you went, including to yours and his death because he was sure this was going to get you both killed somehow by the wrong classmate. Meanwhile, you were grinning happily as you were taking him up to the balcony of your room and looking downward for some potential victims, holding the container of disgusting, old food in your hands. Smiling widely, almost crazily and giggling so hard you could barely contain yourself.

“Hee-hee Izuku~. You and I are about to do something the world should have done a LONG time ago. This right here is going to make history. Just give me the signal when you see someone.” You grinned wide as you held the now open container of rotten spaghetti noodles as Izuku looked down to make sure nobody like Bakugou or Todoroki were coming.

“Uh…” His better judgment kicked in though, this was a terrible idea and it was going to happen soon as he saw a few heads coming out the door, two blondes, a brunette and one redhead. Oh no.

“Uh oh…! (Y-Y/N)!” He tried to alarm you, but apparently THAT was the signal for you to start.

“Someone’s there! Here we go!” You cheerfully poured down the container, letting the gloppy, thick red sauce and stringy, stale noodles rain down to the earth much to Izuku’s absolute horror as you both stared down, a broad smile across your face while Izuku’s was a look of horror as he shouted.

(insert slow-motion) “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

With a loud, squishing plop, the spaghetti noodles finally hit your victim in all it’s disgusting, stinky glory, staining his school uniform shirt with its foul, red and moldy sauce and decorating his blonde, spiky hair with a wreath of stale, wet noodles as he shouted in shock at the random onslaught.

“ARGH!!! What the fuck?!”

“Ewww dude…” Kirishima cringed and backed away slightly when his friend got splattered by old, moldy food, crinkling his nose in disgust when the smell hit him.

“Gross! What… what the hell is that…?!” That was Kaminari’s voice, and he shamelessly covered his nose as he forced himself to not snicker at his unfortunate classmate’s incident.

“Hey that’s… the spaghetti from last month…” Sero figured it out, and he looked a little nervous once he saw their friend’s look of shock quickly turn into an enraged expression as he looked upwards to see the identity of who they assumed would be his murder victim.

“K-Kacchan…!” Izuku froze up like he was hit with a paralysis quirk once he saw that it was Bakugou that you had ended up hitting. Now he was a hundred percent sure that this was going to be the end for you and him.

“Oh shit… is that Bakugou…?” You peered downwards a little bit to get a better look, but instantly regretted that once Bakugou’s seering, crimson red eyes looked upwards and made contact with your now wide, shocked (E/C) eyes as Izuku promptly freaked out and trembled like a leaf.

If looks could kill, you would definitely be dead. You could practically hear his feral growling as he clenched his fists.

“Hide. Hide. Hide! Hide! Hide!!” You and Izuku both exclaimed in alarm to each other, trying to back away as much as you could to avoid being seen by the explosive teen, but it was too late. He already saw you both.

“Deku! Shitty girl?!” Bakugou was livid, and looked ready to kill the two people he’s known since childhood and his friends could see it as they backed away a little bit. Seeing Bakugou angry wasn’t a spectacle, but after that trick. He wasn’t going to let neither of you get away.

However, as scared as you were, you couldn’t let Bakugou terrify you into submission since this was an accident. “Ohohokay… look dude… that was a total fluke on my part… that was supposed to be for Kaminari.” You attempted to reason with the pissed-off blonde, ignoring the indignant ‘Hey!’ coming from the former. “You don’t have to go all Lord Explosion Murder-y on us…” As calm as you were, you should have known better than to try to reason with Bakugou when he was this pissed. To make matters worse, you were snickering the entire time and trying to cover your mouth to quell them.

“Bullshit!! This is your way of getting back at me! And don’t fucking lie to me I'm right aren't I?!” He angrily wiped off the sauce and noodles off himself as much as possible despite how disgusting it felt on his hands and the smell was horrific. Bakugou didn’t believe a word you said. Ever since Izuku acquired One For All, and even after he found out the truth about it, him and Bakugou still weren’t exactly friend-ish yet. And with your own improvement of your telekinesis quirk getting stronger ever since you got to this school, Bakugou assumed that you and Deku were somehow in cahoots together to try and take him down a peg. He wasn’t wrong on YOUR part though.

“N-No! Kacchan we swear we would never!!” Izuku was going to make a vain attempt to reason with him, but you quickly took the floor to protect him.

“He’s right. Leave Izuku alone, besides Bakugou, if I wanted to get back at you, it would have been a LOT worse than this. Though in hindsight this is pretty brilliant. Since that’s rotten spaghetti noodles you’re covered in. I recommend taking a shower though I can smell you from up here!” You explained but didn’t make yourself sound any better as you took the moment to tease him a little bit, wafting your hand for emphasis even though it wasn’t an exaggeration. You can literally smell that rotten spaghetti from up here. And it pissed him off to no end.

“What the hell was that?!”

“Stop taunting him…!” Izuku advised you worriedly, since he knew better than to make Bakugou madder if he was already mad. You didn’t listen.

“I said take a shower because you stink Noodlehead! Get it?!” You snickered and laughed, tears in your eyes when seeing Bakugou practically turn red from such vicious rage. “H-Hey c’mon man… s-she’s just playing…” Kirishima trembled slightly when seeing how pissed his friend was, and he wanted to save you from getting killed by trying to calm down Bakugou but he just ignored him.

“Why you fucking bitch! Don’t you fucking laugh at me! Wait til I get up there I’ll kill you both!!” He declared and quickly made his way inside the building and now you and Izuku couldn’t help but panic a little bit.

“Why did you say that?!” Izuku frantically asked you, looking at you like you had to have been insane to provoke a dragon-tempered boy like Bakugou.

“It was funny!” You gave your rather weak reasoning, but that didn’t matter now that you were both pretty much doomed. At least you would die alongside Izuku, the boy you loved with all your heart. However, a sudden idea came to your head as you grabbed his hand and lead him out of your room.

“W-What are you doing?!”

“I have an idea! But we need Yaoyorozu!” You stated, quickly rushing over to the common room where you thankfully found Momo among the girls. “Momo! Momo we need your help!” Rushing over to the tall girl, you clasped your hands together in a begging manner, much to her shock and confusion.

“What’s the matter?!” She asked in worry once she heard the urgency in your voice. However, once you explained it all quickly to her, she wasn’t very amused at all by how you childishly pranked Bakugou, but she helped you both anyway with what you needed because she wanted to help you and Izuku stay alive.

…

Bakugou was on the prowl as he marched inside the building, resembling an animal hunting down prey with Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero meekly following behind so they could hold him back in case he really did try to kill you and Izuku.

He knew where your room was, but he assumed the two of you were going to hide somewhere like the ‘cowards’ you were as he went up the first floor. Some of his classmates, quickly backing away when seeing how pissed he was, and at how smelly he was since he couldn’t get the spaghetti stink off of him.

But he didn’t pay attention to all the damn extras, all that matter was finding you and Deku so he could kill you both for making him look like a fool and daring to prank him like that. And he was surprised when he saw you both just lounging on the couch of the common room without a care in the world as he growled like a wild animal.

“You idiots! So you both want to die huh?!” He barked aloud in the once-quiet room, aggressively grabbing yours and ‘Izuku’s’ shoulders roughly only for the bodies in front of him to suddenly collapse, revealing two headless mannequins wearing your blazers with soccer balls bouncing to the ground which acted as the heads as they adorned wigs of Izuku’s messy green hair and your (H/C) (H/S) hair.

“D-Did their heads just fall off?!” Kirishima asked, his eyes wide with horror as he began trembling, having not seen that the bodies were just dummies and not really you or Izuku.

“Y-You really killed them?!” Kaminari exclaimed in the same terror as Kirishima, since he didn’t see the dummies or the soccer-balls either.

Bewildered and wide-eyed, Bakugou picked up the soccer ball with Izuku’s hair, squeezing it hatefully until it popped as he let out an extremely irritated growl. That was the second time you made him look like a fool, he was SO going to kill you both now.

“DEKU!! SHITTY GIRL!!” He screamed so loud you swore the entire building shook. It was definitely loud enough for you and Izuku to hear from downstairs as you ran down to the bottom floor.

“AH! Kacchan figured it out!!” Izuku started to panic again as he ran with you out of the building, although you couldn’t help but snicker because you wished you could’ve seen the look on his face.

“Duh Izuku I heard him! I’m pretty sure the whole fucking country heard him too! Come on! We can’t be here, not while he’s in that mood, I know where we can hide!” You said as the two of you started to run away from Heights Alliance, passing a few of your confused classmates as they watched you run.

However, neither you or Izuku expected Bakugou to show up so soon as you both heard the door slam wide open.

“You two aren’t getting away that easy! You can run but you can’t fucking hide from me!!” Bakugou shouted, immediately chasing after you both. He instantly knew that you were both going to try and hide from him, just like you two always did when the three of you were children.

You both shouted in shock, and Izuku reluctantly turned to see Bakugou coming for you guys with bloody murder in his eyes. “He’s already caught up?!” You asked in shock, confident that your dummies would have distracted him for longer than that. “You dropped spaghetti on him!” Izuku exclaimed matter-of-factly, not that surprised that Bakugou had caught up this fast.

“I know I did Izuku! But I swear my plan was fool-proof!”

“You know Kacchan is no fool! And he was the fastest in every grade in elementary and middle school!”

“Well I guess that means we’re fucked huh?!” You asked while you two kept running, and you couldn’t help but feel a little bit scared that you were going to be fucked if you didn’t think of something fast. However, you and Izuku nearly perked up upon seeing someone from afar, but the red and white was all the indication you both needed to know. And as soon as you saw Todoroki up closer, you grinned and immediately called for help.

“Help us Todoroki!!”

That certainly surprised him as he stopped with a bewildered expression as you and Izuku ran past him fast enough to send wind through his hair. “Midoriya? (L/N)? What’s going on?” He was calm in spite of the fact that you and Izuku were both freaking out as you both took a moment to stop for a minute.

“W-We’re kind of running from someone…” Izuku started off, panting a little bit as you finished his sentence. “It’s Bakugou! And he’s going to kill us! Build a wall of ice or fire fast!” You kind of begged since Bakugou was getting closer.

“Don’t even think about helping them IcyHot! Or I’ll kill you too!” Todoroki paid him no mind though, he heard you call him for help and he did exactly that. In the blink of an eye, Todoroki raised his right side and created a giant wall of ice to block his volatile classmate from getting to you and Izuku. “DAMMIT!!!” Now all three of you heard Bakugou’s enraged shouts, but it didn’t take too long for you to start hearing explosions as he began carving through the wall to get to you, Izuku AND Todoroki. That was three on his hit list now.

“Thank you Todoroki! I think you saved our lives!” Izuku was extremely grateful as you couldn’t help but sigh in relief. That wall would definitely buy you three some time.

Although he was confused, Todoroki started to run with you and Izuku but he was clearly looking for an explanation. “Why is he chasing you two?”

“Oh, he’s just mad because I accidentally dropped some rotten spaghetti on his head. It was hilarious! You should’ve seen his face, I thought he was going to literally explode like a volcano..." As you snickered, Izuku quietly whined a little bit since as much as you found it funny, he wasn't crazy about the fact that yours and his already complicated childhood friend probably hated you two even more now.

"Why would you do that?" Todoroki asked you, his voice sounding somewhat incredulous since he saw no rhyme or reason to doing such a childish act. Because you were friends with Izuku, he had gotten fairly used to your presence and steadily became your friend too, but he found you very strange due to your behavior and penchant for mischief and juvenile jokes.

"Because it's funny! And besides Todoroki, life-lesson, when life gives you rotten spaghetti noodles, you dump it on someone!" You exclaimed and gave your reasoning, but of course Todoroki wasn't amused at all.

"That sounds like nonsense." He stated bluntly, but you just stuck your tongue at him. "So you're telling me that if life gave you rotten spaghetti noodles that you wouldn't dump it on your shitty dad if you had the opportunity?" You raised a brow at him, and that somewhat silenced him a bit as he thought about that. And you laughed a bit when you saw him give the smallest smile when he clearly envisioned that and started to see some of the comedy in that. Including the idea of Bakugou getting spaghetti'd, he was starting to wish he had seen that now just a little bit.

"Not you too Todoroki!!" Izuku exclaimed in slight shock, since dumping old pasta is why they were even running in the first place, and yet you and Todoroki were clearly amused by it.

"DAMN YOU YOU ICYHOT BASTARD!!" Bakugou finally broke through the wall, and you three were far enough now but he could still see you, and the three of you turned to see the same murder in his eyes.

"RUN!!" You shouted as both your friends followed you, and Todoroki seemed to tag along without complaint. He wasn't scared or anything, but he felt that he should probably stay with you and Izuku as long as Bakugou is that angry with you both. He wasn't letting up, and somehow he managed to get closer even though you three were all running as fast as you could thanks to adrenaline as shocked and confused classmates and students alike stopped and stared.

"We need to throw away dead weight!" You suddenly said to Izuku and Todoroki, who both looked at you in slight shock. "WHAT?! You're not talking about one of us are you?!" Izuku asked you, wide-eyed and really hoping you wouldn't go that far.

"What are you nuts?! I ain't throwing away neither of you guys!" You said, and as soon as you saw one classmate you quickly used your quirk.

"D'AH! Why am I floating?! Have I died and gone to heaven?! Why are all the girls still wearing their uniforms?!" Mineta asked loudly, before he saw you and you smirked evilly at him as he shrieked in horror. He let out another pig-like squeal as you sent him flying right towards Bakugou whose eyes slightly widened and he quickly raised his palm to blast away that little punk into the atmosphere as you each heard a scream and a little 'ding'.

"You're bad (Y/N)..." Izuku said with a tremor of fear in his tone as you laughed happily, "I know!!" Cheerfully, you used your quirk to use anything else in your vicinity to toss and block Bakugou from getting any closer, and you did manage to succeed when some of the items, including books, trash-cans, and a few other students to slow him down as you snickered again when you heard Bakugou's enraged roars.

2 Hours Later

After 2 hours of running around and playing wild goose chase with Bakugou, you, Izuku and Todoroki finally outran him and came to the best hiding place you knew he wouldn't find you at. The comfort of your house and in your (style) room.

“(Y-Y/N)… you know that we can’t hide in your room forever right? Kacchan probably remembers that you and I would always come over here to hide from him whenever he was really mad, and not only that, but we still have school to attend even if he’s still going to be mad about what just happened. There’s just no way we can avoid him unless we-”. You stopped Izuku as he started mumbling, looking rather nonchalant as you sat on your bed and turned on Netflix.

“He’s not going to find us here… and even if he does, he can’t get in…” You said breezily, not really worrying about Bakugou at the moment as you relaxed on your bed. “Sit with me Izuku. C’mon, let’s just figure out what to watch.” Patting your bed and gesturing him to sit, Izuku blushed as he nervously made his way over and sat beside you, his face beginning to redden as you scooted closer to him with a content smirk.

Much to Todoroki’s discomfort, whom you had invited into your house on your run from Bakugou. “This feels odd... to see you and Midoriya like this..." He said very awkwardly, even though he was oblivious to how you and Midoriya felt about each other, he just knew that the atmosphere was a little awkward. Especially since he and Midoriya were in a girl’s room, and he didn't quite understand why Midoriya suddenly began to blush like that. Nor did he quite know that this what it meant to be the third wheel.

“Ah. Todoroki. C’mere. Sit with us. Plenty of room.” However, you weren’t going to leave Todoroki out. Izuku was the one for you, but you were a bit of a pervert at heart and didn’t mind a very attractive boy like Todoroki being close to you too.

That surprised the boy, and he appeared unsure for a moment until you patted the free space for him to sit down. “C’mon. Right here it’s cool.” You gently coaxed him, and with that Todoroki slowly made his way over to sit down on your bed, next to you while Midoriya was on your other side. You looked extremely pleased and content as you sighed happily.

“You know. You two are my favorite classmates.” You admitted, which earned a bright blush from Izuku and a light flush of surprise from Todoroki.

“Y-You’re just saying that…” Izuku got rather bashful, avoiding your gaze as his face visibly turned red which you found absolutely adorable.

“Why me?” Todoroki sounded more confused, he was strangely flattered but he didn’t know why you liked him.

“Todoroki. I like you because you’re powerful, and you’re not annoying. Plus you’re a lot nicer to me now! You were a total jackass at first until Izuku got to ya.” That came out rather blunt but cheerful as Todoroki nearly expressed some guilt for his past behavior, since he didn’t treat you with much regard before befriending Midoriya. “And you’re cute so that’s a bonus. The other guys are such guys…” You added, and Todoroki looked almost more surprised when you called him cute.

“Izuku. I like you because you've been my friend since we were both really little. I might have met Bakugou first, but I liked you a lot better. I've always liked you a lot better." You admitted as Izuku began to blush even harder, his green eyes widening as his mouth formed in an 'oh' shape as you continued to speak, blushing warmly, "And not only that but you've stuck with me... even though I'm no better than Bakugou. I always drag you into crazy shit, like today, and yet you still stuck with me. I'm a loser." You chuckled and rolled your eyes in a moment of self-loathing. 

"But you never once said 'no' to me. You knew what you were getting into, you knew all my ideas were insane... but you stood with me the whole time... Izuku you make me wish I was a better person... that's why I like you so much... in fact... that's why I... I like-like you so much..." Your face burned red as you grinned shyly once you finally admitted your feelings for the boy you've known since childhood. Izuku's blush deepened, his look of shock not fading as Todoroki also blushed at the sincerity of your words, he wasn't good at reading feelings but based on the way you were talking to Izuku, it seemed that you liked him as more than just a friend.

"You... like-like me?" Izuku asked shakily, obviously still in shock at the mere idea that someone actually liked him as more than just a friend.

"Duh." You smirked and chuckled, thinking that your feelings were pretty obvious since your other classmates, especially Mina and Asui picked up on it fast and had actually encouraged you to tell him. And you did!

"I-I... w-wow I..." He was smiling wide, trying and failing to conceal his grin as he couldn't stop blushing, but he did look you in the eyes as you smirked and put your arm around him. "(Y/N)... I-I... I like-like you too... I kind of... always have... I kind of always thought you like-liked Kacchan though... since you were always making fun of him..." He admitted, even though part of him also knew that you didn't like Bakugou that way even if you did tease him in a manner similar to how girls taunted boys they liked.

"Nope! Hahaha! That porcupine might be fun to mess with, but I don't like-like him... not even sure I like him either though." You shrugged your shoulders as Izuku tried not to snicker, but he squeaked and blushed crimson once he felt your lips peck him on the cheek. And now Todoroki really felt like the third wheel, this was very awkward, and yet at the same time he was also kind of happy for you and Izuku.

"Do you like me?" He suddenly asked you and you and Izuku looked at him in confusion. However, Izuku wasn't jealous because he knew Todoroki didn't think of you like that. At least he seriously hoped he didn't.

But you couldn't help but smile wide at the heterochromatic boy. "Oh Todoroki of course I like you! I just don't like-like you." You affirmed and that reassured him a little bit, relieved that you liked him. "

"You're both saying 'like-like'. When you say that, does that mean when someones likes another person beyond friendship?" He asked, and you and Izuku both nodded with smiles, and Todoroki seemed to get that now.

"That's it bro. Now... Todoroki, new boyfriend, let's do a Stranger Things marathon." You grinned, putting your arm around your new boyfriend whom was smiling and still blushing, especially when you called him 'boyfriend'. Izuku couldn't believe it, he was ecstatic! Even if Bakugou was still angry and out there looking for you both, he was actually your boyfriend now, and you were his girlfriend! There was nothing that could spoil this feeling...

“(Y/N)!” Suddenly, your mom called you and you groaned in annoyance because you had to sit up from your comfortable spot.

“Yeah Ma?”

“Your old friend Katsuki is outside!” Your’s and Izuku’s eyes widened with shock, horror more evident on his face as he looked ready to freak out again, “AH! I knew it! I knew he’d remember!” He exclaimed, getting up off the bed and peeked out your window, flinching once he saw the still pissed blonde walking towards your house.

“Don’t let him in mom! MOM!!" You pleaded for your mother to NOT let Bakugou in, and although she listened to you. He wasn't going anywhere until you and Izuku came outside.

"He's not going to let this go..." Izuku muttered fearfully as Todoroki sighed at just how vindictive Bakugou could be. Obviously he himself wouldn't have been happy if he got spaghetti'd, but he wouldn't really stake someone out just to beat them bloody.

"I've got a plan..." You said deviously, bringing out your phone as Izuku and Todoroki looked at you, not knowing exactly what your 'plan' was but it was probably something underhanded.

"Don't tell me... you know someone...?" Izuku asked you with a small sigh and you smiled at him and blew him a kiss. "Izuku, I'm not letting Katsuki ruin this for us... sure it might be my fault, but still! I know how to get him to leave us alone..." You said sweetly, and Izuku decided to let you take care of it. You were his girlfriend now, and he trusted you.

"Hello Shinsou?" You smirked as soon as your call went through, and Izuku flinched at the knowledge that you knew Shinsou, and well enough to have his phone number...

"Yeah... I'm gonna need your help..."

There you go again. But Izuku adored you with all of your heart, and you adored him with all your heart too. It was all worth it, even if it was at Bakugou's expense of being spaghetti'd.

In fact, that made it all the more worth it to you. You got Izuku's heart, and you got to dump rotten pasta on Bakugou. This was pretty much the best day of your life.

[pinkettepoet]

In Which He Pops The Question

Summary: After weeks of being ignored, your boyfriend suddenly drops by and asks you a quite surprising question.

Warnings: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader, Fluff.

Note: I’m trying to post one imagine for each Avenger + Marvel characters to start this blog. Comment or reblog who you want me to write about next! So far, I have Tony Stank, Becky Barnes, and Clintness Everdeen. By the way, you guys are amazing.

You were going to strangle the life out of Peter Parker the first chance you got.

For the past two weeks, your boyfriend had been avoiding you. He managed to avoid the cafeteria during lunch, got Ned to distract you while he escaped, and made stupid excuses to not hang out with you.

First and foremost, you were disappointed that Peter didn’t come to you and talk whatever the problem was. After he revealed himself as the Spiderman, there was probably nothing about him that could surprise you anymore.

Second, you were hurt that his instinct was to avoid you as if you had the plague.

You noticed that he’d been acting really strange and jumpy around his friends, too. Whatever it was, you just wished that you could help him. It obviously wasn’t about his superhero gig since he told you almost everything about that.

It didn’t help that all your friends were fawning over their dresses and dates to the Homecoming Dance. It was all every girl could talk about.

Speaking of the dance, you weren’t even sure if Peter would ask you out. Even so, you’d probably just end up going anyway and dance alone.

To distract yourself from all this boy drama, you concerned yourself with your homework that was due next month. That didn’t stop your eyes from drifting to the dress that was placed perfectly flat on your bed.

You didn’t even know why you had the urge to place it there this morning when you woke up. It was probably your subconscious trying to remind you that your dress was worth going to the dance for. Nothing else was going to change that.

A bang erupted from throughout your room as you dropped your head harshly on your wooden table, suddenly losing all urge to study. Your eyelids started to droop slowly, the last thing in your vision was your messy handwriting on your notebook.

Then suddenly your windows flew open, the gush of wind whooshing straight inside your room. The sudden sound made you jump up your chair. Your eyes darted left and right in surprise until they landed on something coming inside your window.

Halfway inside your room was your boyfriend, Peter Parker, who was dress in a tight suit, clad in the colors red, black, and blue. He went straight to the bathroom, coming out after a few minutes, dressed in a casual shirt and jeans.

“What a nice surprise.” You had an eyebrow raised, tapping your pen impatiently against the wood surface of your table. In a loud and sarcastic tone, you muttered, “I was beginning to think that this arrangement was permanent.”

Peter didn’t say anything as he walked towards you with a sigh. He gave you a short peck on the cheek before saying, “I’m sorry for ignoring you these past weeks. Will you forgive me?”

“Hmm.” You pretended to debate, stroking the imaginary beard on your chin, prolonging every minute just because you could. “Of course I will, you big red spider dork. Only if you tell me why, though.”

Peter moved away from you in an instant, you ending up regretting to have asked that question. He no longer had his eyes on you as he cast his eyes to the floor, shifting his weight from one foot to another. You could see the nervousness when he kept scratching his neck at different intervals.

“About that. . .” He said, his voice a bit shaky. You saw the sweat glistening from his forehead.

You decided to help him out of his misery. As much as you hated vocalizing the words, it had to be done. You didn’t want to be selfish. You took steps toward him, lifting his face up and resting them between your hands, his eyes piercing right through you. You whispered, “Hey.”

“It’s okay to fall out of love.”

Straight away his whole demeanor changed, he took a step back. “What? No!”

He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair, before continuing, “I’m not going to break up with you. Oh my God, I love an idiot. I don’t think I’ll ever break up with you— I mean, if you don’t love me anymore then I’ll let you go. But I’ll fight for you— if that’s what you want but even if you don’t, I will. Okay, what I’m trying to say is that, I freaking love you and your smile and your hair and y—”

“Peter!” You smiled, a blush warming your cheeks. Knowing Peter, he probably could have gone on for hours, but you couldn’t handle that much compliments. Not before dinner, anyway. You said, trying to not let your happiness escape, “Your point?”

Another sigh escaped past Peter’s rosy lips. He rolled his eyes before sending you a cheeky grin. “Well, since my beautiful girlfriend is being an impatient ogre.”

You laughed, amazed how he could insult you and compliment you in one single sentence. It seemed like you closed your eyes for one second and when you opened them, he was kneeling on the floor. “Peter, what?”

“Y/N.” He began, pulling a dark black box from his back pocket, making your heart beat in fear and excitement. “You are the most beautiful person I have ever met even if you send me the weirdest selfies. Even if you screamed right in Captain America’s face when I introduced you to him, you’re still the most proper girl I know. Not even your bed hair is going to scare you away from me—”

“Peter, what is going on?” Your heart was beating quite faster know, pounding against your chest, demanding to be let out. Yet, you can’t seem to wipe off the grin off your face.

He smiled, ignoring you as he continued. “We’ve been dating for a year now. You are the best girlfriend anyone could ask for. You’re gorgeous, smart, caring, and you put up with me. I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Peter, I love you, too. But what in the world is going on?” For the past minute, your gaze had been drifting from the black box he had in his hand and his brown eyes.

Peter’s hand moved to the edge of the box, opening it slightly. “This is exactly why I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But right now, I need to ask this very important question that will define our relationship for the next days to come. Y/N, will you. . .”

Peter finally opened the box.

You could’ve almost screamed when you saw what’s inside. It was a breathtaking rose corsage. Peter was full on grinning by this point, a few snorts coming out. A flurry of emotions ran through your head but you were beyond happy.

“Will you be my date for the Homecoming Dance?”

(marvel tag list: @not-jk-rowling, @hydraliciousbarnes, @thewhinersoldier, @the-crime-fighting-spider)

[moodymindymusereactions]

When their s/o is a lawyer (Exo-M)

I’m so excited someone finally included my Freedom Three!  I love them so much!!  Actually, I’m going to go back and do a separate reaction with just the three of them to the Exo requests I have received so far, so please anticipate those! 

Xiumin:

There’s something about you being a lawyer that just warms him inside, honestly.  The thought of you being so successful makes him really proud and happy.  Minseok is getting to that age where he’ll start thinking about possibly settling down and the image of you with his children is something he’s probably thought about a gazillion times, but now!  He likes to be a good role model and wow, you would be one hell of a role model for his kids.  That probably means a lot to him.  That and his family will likely be really impressed with you, too.  He sees this as just another reason why he adores you.  You being a lawyer also means you understand his busy schedules and late nights, something that relieves stress from his shoulders honestly.  The last thing any of these guys needs is someone who isn’t understanding of their situation, but who better than a lawyer!  Lawyers work the long hours, have surprise updates to their schedules, sometimes having to travel for work expectedly or unexpectedly depending on the field.  No matter what, Minseok is going to be really proud of you and you can bet that, just like Jongdae, when work gets hellish, he’ll be right there to try and sooth you.  “Ah, the case didn’t go well?” *you shake your head defeatedly* “Aw, jagiyah, come here.  Let’s take a bath together, yeah?  We’ll just relax tonight, order in, and cuddle.  Does that sound good?”

Luhan:

 Finally, someone who might impress his parents!  He loves the fact that you’re a lawyer.  This bub will likely read up as much as he can about your in particular field just so he can be as supportive as he possibly can be.  Luhan is a firecracker through and through, but he’s also super tender hearted and thoughtful.  Like Yixing, he will constantly be spoiling you and like Minseok, he’ll be unable to stop thinking about the future with you.  You represent something stable and something grounded.  He would like that.  People get caught up a lot in the whole ‘I’m manly’ bullshit, but honestly, Luhan just wants to provide for the person he loves and wants to feel appreciated by that person.  It doesn’t really matter to him what your profession is, but you being a lawyer is really cool to him.  You’re successful and goal oriented, things that seriously impress him.  Law school is hard as hell, so he knows you’re also smart as hell, which is another thing that he really, REALLY likes.  Luhan is a smart guy and he’s an Aries, which means just like Aquarius, he appreciates intellect.  He likes a challenge, which also means just like Jongdae, he’ll probably instigate dumb arguments purely for argument's sake, because he never gets to see you in action and he wants to experience that side of you for himself.  Also, just like Yifan, expect some roleplay requests.  Don’t let those boyishly innocent looks fool you, he’s a kinky guy.  Aries typically are.  “Oh my god!  Why are we even arguing, Luhan!” *pauses and just smirks, crossing his arms*  “Cuz you’re sexy when you go all lawyer on me.”

Kris:

 Sexy.  Yifan will think the fact that you’re not only a strong business woman, but a lawyer is super sexy.  It turns him on, to be honest.  The thought of you in those slick suits, done up to perfect, arguing a case just makes his blood boil in the most pleasant of ways.  He will probably want to talk about it a lot with you.  Where did your inspiration come from?  What led you down that road?  Where do you see yourself later?  What field with in law interests you the most?  What kind of cases have you been a part of?  Hardest?  Easiest? Honestly, it will turn into a bragging right for him.  When people ask him about his s/o, he’ll proudly state, ‘oh, he/she is a lawyer’ with that sexy smirk of his, just completely cocky about the whole thing.  But don’t think you’re a trophy to be displayed, no, no, no!  Not with any of these guys, but especially not Yifan.  His pride comes from the fact that you are a strong, independent person who knows what they want out of life, which is a concept he knows well and definitely something he admires in you.  “A lawyer?” “Yeah” “...” “Are you okay?” “Holy shit that’s sexy!” *cue blushing*  (also...don’t be surprised if he asks for a little roleplay if you know what I mean ;) )

Lay:

 This muffin will be beyond impressed!  Very, very, very much so!  It’ll be something that he just tells everyone with the same amount of surprise he had when he initially found out.  Just a whole lot of ‘did you know my girl/boyfriend is a lawyer?’  ‘it’s so unexpected!’ He’d smile proudly, dimples and all, each time, too.  Yixing would probably fret over you, though.  He’d make sure you eat properly by either surprising you with dinner when he could or sending you food when he couldn’t physically be there.  He’d also be someone to send flowers when you’re having a bad week or you’re super stressed with a case or really whenever he just wants to remind you of how amazing and loved you are.  He’s super attentive, even when he’s tired from work or extensive dance practices.  Yixing loves to bathe you in compliments, too!  Everything from the suit you’re wearing to how hard you're working, anything to put those shy smiles he loves so much on your lips.  I think Yixing is also the type to update your wardrobe and office gear every so often, too.  Like he will be in Paris for a photoshoot or in China for a show and he’ll see a suit that he thinks would look amazing on your or a briefcase that he just can’t pass up.  Basically, he just likes to spoil you.  “Yixing, you didn’t have to get me a new briefcase...I’ve barely broken in the one you got me for my birthday last year.” *smiles that sweet dimple smile* “You can never have too many, Baobei.  Besides, I love you and I wanted to get it for you.” (honestly, all you Yixing stans...how do you survive this dude?)    

Chen:

 Will be hella impressed!  Finds that your being a lawyer is super attractive, almost as much as those sexy suits.  He will find ways to tease you regarding your profession, anything from initiating nonsensical arguments to hiding your stuff so you’re forced to question him about it.  Coy, coy, coy.  This one is a troll (and we all love him for it let’s be honest).  He loves provoking your lawyer side, purely because it turns him on.  But on a more serious note, he is also super proud of you.  He sees how hard you work, bringing documents home and staying up late working on briefs or going over case evidence before a trial.  This is Jongdae, so you know he’ll bring you coffee, make you little snacks, massage your shoulders or draw you a bath when you get too stressed.  He’s a caretaker under all those trollish layers of his.  He just wants to make sure you are healthy and happy.  For as much as his teasing can drive you up a wall, he knows when to curb those tendencies and act more mature.  If you’re stuck in a certain part of your case, he’ll do his best to help you without actually being privy to the actual details.  People take for granted his observation skills, so he’s a really good candidate for working through hypotheticals and spurring ‘Eureka’ moments.  “Kim Jongdae, where are my car keys?!”  *pleased kitten smile*  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, love.”  “Jongdae, don’t play innocent with me…I know you took them.”  *Sly shoulder shrug and smirk* “I guess you’ll just cross-examine the witness.”  “You’re not a witness, Jongdae; you’re the perpetrator!”  *winks* “I’ll be whatever you want, sweetheart.”    

Tao:

 Impressed!  Tao is young, so he understands what it means to struggle to make something of yourself so early on in life.  The fact that you had a plan for your life and executed it to ensure your dreams came true is something that he will find super attractive.  Tao is someone who sets goals for himself and, haters be damned, he will achieve them.  He’ll ask a millions and one questions just to understand the nature of your line of work and will definitely have even MORE respect for you.  Like Yifan, it will be something that brags about.  He likes other people knowing how amazing you are.  Of course, that comes at a limit, because he can’t have anyone thinking ‘unsavory’ things about you because that’s his job.  Which basically means, he’ll give the stank face to anyone who so much as blinks wrong in your direction.  Tao can be the jealous type, but those energies are more outwardly cast rather than being directed towards you.  Possessive in the most attractive ways.  He lingers in the morning when he can, just to watch you get ready for work.  He LOVES seeing you in suits, hair done to perfection, and just overall looking like a business badass.  “Damn, babe, you look hot as hell.”  “You say that every day.” “Then I guess it’s just a fact of life, huh?” “You’re a dork.” *cocky smirk and wiggles eyebrows*

--Admin MM

[dottodotfestival]

SECOND WAVE OF ARTISTS ANNOUNCED!

The second wave of acts have been unveiled for Dot To Dot Festival 2019. The award-winning day-long event will once again feature a line-up full of both established performers and the best emerging artists from the UK and around the world, over 20 artists have just been added to the bill, including the likes of KING NO ONE and THE SLOW SHOW. They will join the already announced list of acts that includes; CRYSTAL FIGHTERS, JORDAN RAKEI, SWIM DEEP, THE NIGHT CAFÉ, DREAM WIFE to play Manchester, Bristol and Nottingham on 24-26th May 2019 for Dot To Dot Festival’s 15th year. 

Having released their debut album ‘OOMM’ in March, KING NO-ONE’s empowering brand of razor-sharp indie has earned them plaudits from across the music industry. The unsigned act has managed to clock up an impressive array of accolades, including achieving over eight million streams on Spotify, getting played on BBC Radio 1, BBC Radio 6 Music, Radio 2 and XFM, and all without the backing of a major label. King No-One are selling out Academy level venues nationwide, showcasing their pedigree as one of the most in-demand live acts around.  

Fresh from the release of their latest single ‘Hard to Hide’, which is their second piece of new material since 2016’s acclaimed album ‘Dream Darling’, THE SLOW SHOW are set to dazzle crowds with their deeply evocative and richly textured sound at Dot To Dot. Having graced stages across some of Europe’s premier venues and festivals, the band’s forthcoming D2D shows will include a must-see homecoming appearance at the Manchester leg of the festival.

Creating an intricate and far-reaching sound that is influenced by his global travels, KIM CHURCHILL will arrive at Dot To Dot fresh from conquering an extensive European tour. Kim recently released a spectacular new single titled ‘After The Sun’, which saw him teaming up with the fabled house and hip-hop producer Vincent Kottkamp. The new single marks the start of an exciting new chapter in the career of the Australian singer-songwriter, as he is due to release further new material later this year, taking inspiration from both people and environments in some of his favourite parts of the world.

Other additions include, Los Angeles group THE MARIAS, who’s seductive fusion of r&b, indie and lo-fi funk has seen Noisey declaring that their sound has the ability to “…transport listeners across genres, decades, languages, cultures, and moods, often within one single track.” Their back catalogue is already brimming with countless summer smashes, which includes the likes of their debut 2017 single ‘I Don’t Know You’, a track that has alone earnt them nearly 17 million streams on Spotify.

2019 has been a huge year for Uxbridge four-piece BLOXX, who will arrive at Dot To Dot on a high having recently completed their biggest headline tour to date, and with their latest EP ‘Headspace’ earning rave reviews from the likes of Dork, who described the lead single ‘Sea Blue’ as “a shimmering groover of a track that effortlessly has our hands in the air like it’s nobody’s business.” Also joining the line-up are 6 Music favourites SQUID, whose current supercharged single ‘Houseplants’ is a regular on the station after earning a place on its ‘A list’, and 4AD records signee PIXX, who is set to release her eagerly-awaited album ‘Small Mercies’ in June.

The full second wave announcement includes; ALICE JEMIMA, ALLIGATOR, BLOXX, BRAD STANK, COUSIN KULA, DO NOTHING, ELM, FEET, JAKE GERMAIN, KIM CHURCHILL, MAN & THE ECHO, MITCH JAMES, MONEY FOR ROPE, NANCY, PHOEBE GREEN, PINKY PINKY, PIXX, ROBINSON, RETRO  VIDEO CLUB, SEAN MCGOWAN, SQUID, TALK SHOW, THE CLAQUE, THE MARIAS, plus many more yet to be announced.

Also set to perform at the 2019 festival are; CRYSTAL FIGHTERS. The band have been an integral part of the alternative dance scene since the release of their debut album ‘Star of Love’ in 2010. Widely adored for their catchy songwriting and penchant for glitter, the English/Spanish trio built upon the momentum created by their debut with the release of 2013’s ‘Cave Rave’ and 2016’s ‘Everything Is My Family’. The group’s endless energy and arsenal of feel-good anthems have made them a magnificent live proposition, helping them to forge a reputation for creating a celebratory party atmosphere wherever they play, including their headline set at Dot To Dot.

JORDAN RAKEI will also be bringing his jazz and hip-hop driven sound to Dot To Dot 2019. The New Zealand born multi-instrumentalist moved halfway across the world to London to pursue a full-time career in music. He has since self-released his debut album, ‘Cloak’, in 2016 followed by critically acclaimed album ‘Wallflower’, released via Ninja Tune in 2017. Jordan has also collaborated with some notable tastemakers including Tom Misch, Disclosure, and more recently, merging the worlds of hip-hop and electronica with beautiful ease on ‘Ottelenghi’ with Loyle Carner.

After previously wowing audiences at Dot To Dot in 2015, SWIM DEEP are welcomed back to the line-up this year. An integral part of Birmingham’s B-Town generation alongside Peace and Jaws, the band currently have two album releases to their name; 2013’s ‘Where the Heaven Are We’ and 2015’s ‘Mothers’. With these albums, came a collection of inimitable singles such as ‘Honey’, ‘King City’ and ‘One Great Song and I Could Change the World’. With a sound that encompasses elements of melodic indie, shoegaze and pop, Swim Deep are guaranteed to produce many singalong moments during their Dot To Dot performance.

Other previously announced artists include; THE NIGHT CAFÉ, DREAM WIFE, THE ORIELLES, 404, ALEX LAHEY, ANGIE MCMAHON, BESS ATWELL, BESSIE TURNER, CROWS, DANCING ON TABLES, DYLAN, FATHERSON, FAYE WEBSTER, HEAVY LUNGS, JAMES GILLESPIE, KOJAQUE, LOVE SICK, MAX RAD, MINI MANSIONS, MISS GRIT, MISSIO, ONR, RACHEL CHINOURIRI, REWS, SONS OF AN ILLUSTRIOUS FATHER, SUN SILVA, SWIMMING GIRLS, WASUREMONO, WOVOKA GENTLE.

[agdistis-sanctified]

Top Ten Characters

Tagged by @xblackrequiemx ! As always, this will end with me in friggin’ tears. Choosing is hard.

1. Vincent Nightray | Pandora Hearts

How long I just spent dawdling on google looking at fan art of him is a testament to how much I love him. Forever grateful for his story, shit. So much pay-off. Biggest dork to ever dork.

2. Utena Tenjou | Revolutionary Girl Utena

Came for her iconic fight to wear “boy’s clothes,” stayed for that but also because she is an amazingly fleshed out human being that represents strength and justice and vulnerability and the turmoil of growing up and?! Also a dork.

3. Tsukiyama Shuu | Tokyo Ghoul & Tokyo Ghoul :re

His arc in :re may be my favorite Tokyo Ghoul arc. An oblivious idiot but also a surprisingly intuitive, selfless, loyal friend when pushed, no matter what the anime would have you believe. SUCH A GOOD.

4. Will Graham | NBC Hannibal

Look at him and his doggos and just try to tell me he doesn’t deserve to be here. Deep, intriguing relationship with Hannibal. Empathy. Manages to be kind to the end. Hates people, loves doggos and murder.

5. Kuja | Final Fantasy IX

He literally helped me realize I wasn’t straight. He’s #Classic. He’s awesome. He just wanted to live.

6. Rorschach | Watchmen

“Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It’s us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. Was reborn then, free to scrawl own design on this morally blank world. Was Rorschach.”

7. Deadpool | Marvel

Some incarnations of Deadpool wouldn’t be on this list at all, including his self in the video game, the movie, and the Daniel Way run. FIGHT ME. Basically a great character, a true hufflepuff. The patron saint of continuing on after making mistakes. Dork.

8. Jack Vessalius | Pandora Hearts

He fucked over every single other character in the series and I still love him. He just needed help. So much help. Jack did nothing wrong. He was a lost innocent and he tried.

9. Kanae von Rosewald | Tokyo Ghoul :re

Most fab daughter, 10/10; senpai will surely notice you one day. Dorkiness runs in the family. I’m still crying.

10. Vanitas | The Case Study of Vanitas

More than a year/15 chapters later, is it still jumping the gun to be this attached to a new series and character? We don’t even know why he “do what he do” yet. But I love him.

Runner Ups/Ones I Would Have Chosen in a Different Mood: Nicolas Brown (Gangsta.), Titus Alexius (Magi), Nagai Kei (Ajin), Johnny Rayflo (Vassalord), Nezumi (No. 6), Luke fon Fabre (Tales of the Abyss), Kaneki Ken and Eto (Tokyo Ghoul), Break, Oswald, and Gilbert (Pandora Hearts), Inaba Himeko (Kokoro Connect), Kid Loki and Ikol Loki (Marvel), Mikaela Hyakuya (Owari no Seraph), Midna (Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess), Poussey Washington, Pennsatucky, and Alex Vause (Orange is the New Black), Claire Stanfield (Baccano!), and Lelouch Lamperouge (Code Geass.

Today I’m only vague-tagging everyone who wants to do it (tag me back) and @puppymintmocha . One day you will do a tag thing. ONE DAY.

[weareasong]

...

Yeah, skrrt

M-M-M-Murda

Motorsport, yeah, put that thing in sport (skrrt, skrrt)

Shawty bad (bad), pop her like a cork (pop it)

You a dork, never been a sport (dork, yeah)

Pull up (woo, woo), jumpin' out the court

Cotton candy (drink), my cup tastes like the fair (cotton)

Straight up there (where?), we didn't take the stairs (where?)

Faced my fears (fears) gave my mama tears (mama)

Shiftin' gears (shift,) on the Nawf, get serious (serious)

Face all your fears, then get at me

Hit so many donuts on them backstreets

Sit so high in the nosebleeds (yeah)

Feel like I can fly, yeah

Xans, Percy, check (yeah) Bill Belichick

Take the air out the ball, just so I can flex

Take the air out the mall, walkin' with the sacks

Take the air out your broad (hey), now she can't go back

Xans, Percy, check (yeah) Bill Belichick

Take the air out the ball (yeah), just so I can flex

Take the air out the mall (hey), walk in with the sacks

Take the air out your broad (woo, woo, woo, E)

The coupe came imported (hey)

This season's all white, come and snort it (white)

Green Lamborghini, a tortoise (Lambo)

No human being, I'm immortal (no)

Patek and A.P. full of water (Patek)

Hundred K, I spend on my se��ora (racks)

My pinky on margarine, butter (margarine)

And my ears got McDonald's nuggets (ayy)

Soon as I land on the Leer (whew)

Pigets, they wet, tears ('gets)

Four eighty eight, hit the gears (four eighty eight)

Suicide door, Britney Spears

I'm boujee, so bitch, don't get near (boujee)

Criss Angel, make dope disappear (voila)

Hit the gas, it got flames out the rears (skrrt)

It's a race to the bag, get the mills (hey)

Ride the dick like a BMX

No nigga wanna be my ex (no)

I love when he go on tour

'Cause he cums more when I see him less

I get upset off, I turn Offset on

I told him the other day

Man, we should sell that porn

Yeah, Cardi B, I'm back, bitches

I don't wanna hear I'm actin' different

Same lips that be talkin' 'bout me

Is the same lips that be ass kissin'

These hoes ain't what they say they are

And they pussy stank, they catfishin'

Same hoes that was sendin' shots

They reachin' out like they back itchin'

Why would I hop in some beef? (Why?)

When I could just hop in a Porsche?

You heard she, gon' do what, from who?

That's not a reliable source, so

Tell me have you seen her?

Let me wrap my weave up

I'm the trap Selena

Dame más gasolina (skrrt)

Motorsport, yeah, put that thing in sport (skrrt, skrrt)

Shawty bad (bad), pop her like a cork (pop it)

You a dork, never been a sport (dork, yeah)

Pull up (woo, woo), jumpin' out the court (court, jump)

Uh, yo, watch your man

Then you should watch your mouth

Bitches is pressed, administer mouth to mouth

You see them stats, you know what I am about

I am the champ, I'm Iron Mikin' about

Attention, I'ma need you to face front

You don't wanna smoke wit me, this is a laced blunt

Rap's Jackie Chan, we ain't pullin' them fake stunts

My crown won't fit on your bum ass lace fronts (uh)

You bitches catchin' a fade, shout out my nigga Lil' Boosie

All of your friends'll be dead, you can get hit with that Uzi

I call him Ricky, he say he love me like Lucy

Get you a straw nigga, you know this pussy is juicy

This Givenchy is custom made, now you can't get it at Sak's though

I don't work in no office, but they copyin' and that's facts though

I ain't tryna be violent, but if Nicki on it, it slaps, hoe

Get you lined for that paper, like a loose leaf, when that strap blow

I'm with a couple bad bitches that'll rip the party

Quavo the QB, I'm Nick Lombardi

Pull up in the space coupe, I done linked with Marty

I can actually afford to get a pink Bugatti

"Aye yo Nick, didn't you just do a hit with Gotti?"

That too, but my niggas send hits like Gotti

It's a wrap, like the things on the head of a Saudi

Bitch, you my son, go and sit on the potty (rrrr)

Brand new Chanels (Chanels)

I stepped on runnin' from twelve (twelve)

Ain't make no commitment with none of you bitches

'Cause money is treatin' me well (uh uh)

If Nicki she showed me her titty, right hand on the Bible

I swear I won't tell (swear)

If I get to play with that kitty,

I wonder how many platinums we gon' sell (albums)

Pop a Perc and catch a feel (I pop one)

Now I cannot feel the wheel (woah)

My chest bad, give me chills

And the left hand on Richard Mille (ice)

Not the watch, but the price on the ice

If you don't know what that is (huh)

Motorsport, motorville

Abort the mission, that's a kill (pew, pew, brrr)

Motorsport, yeah, put that thing in sport (skrrt, skrrt)

Shawty bad (bad), pop her like a cork (pop it)

You a dork, never been a sport (dork, yeah)

Pull up (woo, woo), jumpin' out the court (court jump)

Cotton candy (drink), my cup tastes like the fair (cotton)

Straight up there (where?) we didn't take the stairs (where?)

Faced my fears (fears) gave my mama tears (mama)

Shiftin' gears (shift,) on the Nawf, get serious (serious)

Girl, yeah, yeah

I wish my grandma could see me (grandma)

Take away, pain ain't easy (pain)

That's why I fire up a bleezy (fire)

Niggas not cappin' this season

(end)