#Stan: yup yeah guy in a carpet tell him dad

[herejusttosufferalong]

Hello, SEX anon again.

Fuck me, do we need another distraction? Like a really loud, sexually laced one? I feel like it's a good time, no? YUP. Bend over, let's do this. I'm gonna take this to some strange places, ok? It's what the situation demands, I'm afraid... some of us have turned to cannibalism, and the only meat I want to be chomping on is... so, yeah... like, if you need to get some holy water, rosary beads... uhm I'd suggest doing that now. Skedaddle. QUICK.

Firstly, I must explain my absence. Something needed to be done. I did it, I goddamn did it. I sat my partner down and I told him how the Queen got me thinking... pondering. Questioning. Too much fingerling potatoes and lips and ta-tas altering my mind chemistry. You feel me? You picking up what I'm putting down? No? Ok, cool, me too. Well. I didn't know how that would go down. Well. Let's just say some men really like that shit. Well. What day are we even at? Well. Who am I, even? Thank you, my Queen, you've opened me up like Pandora's box, my partner is forever grateful. And wherever you go, I will follow, and whatever you say, I will do, and whatever you are, I will be, and whatever... just. God you're pretty. And if you say Mr. Men is A-OKAY, I will believe you, with my very soul, because you see all and heal all and. God you're attractive. And if you say he's a good boy, and if you say he's good to women, and if you say... whatever you fkn say I will worship those words that come from thine mouth. Without question. Without pause. MY FKN QUEEN. And I can't stop looking at his thighs in jeans, for god sake, let that man be healed, because I will drop to my knees my Queen. THIC. BULGING. Delicate hands tracing up his... Glory be. Lie down? Bitch, tell me where. Too strong? Nah, just enough.

So yeah, that was that. I heard L&N watched fingerling potatoes episode with the whole cast. HAH. You see the photo? L&N in the middle, no one beside them, looking like teenagers caught kissing in dad's old station wagon. Fkn lol. Who comes up with this shit? Who thought, yeah so let's get your colleagues together and as a group watch you guys finger bang, kissing moans, loud fkn moans, needed to play Pit Bull so loud to drown out the sex moans? And there's everyone watching, mouths agape, thinking shit are we watching... are we intruding on? Oh, you didn't hear cut? Oh, you got a hickey? Oh, well... That happens... uhm... sometimes. No never to me personally, or anyone I know, or ever heard of in my life.. But, uhm. Cough. You guys are great, wow. FUCK. No wonder everyone was squirming when asked about it on the red carpet. Can you imagine? Mhmm, YUP. Zones out for a sec. I mean, gee wiz, next you'll be hearing they got Queen's wee Catholic mum to watch her daughter get cherry popped by Mr. Men amongst a rabid group of horny little devil stans. AHAHAHAHA... oh wait... Shonda, what's wrong with you?

Yo, was that good enough? You good? Let go of the tension? Frustration? Slutty smirk. I fkn love this universe.

💜🥃

Welcome back 😘

[armandyke]

it's Stan's little nods of agreement every time Diego says the most insane shit imaginable that really do it for me